#but other people are stupid for not knowing us history? what a joke
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people in the notes of prev post being shocked that others don't know about deepthroat watergate as though everyone on this website is american and aware of random cringe details from us political scandals but also, please tell me literally anything about the 1mdb scandal that's been turning malaysia upside down for the last several years and resulted in our former PM serving a prison sentence without googling, i'll wait here patiently
#tell me about the malaysian hot dog scandal. ill wait#its not that serious but also its so deeply annoying like you dont even know anything about canadian history either#but other people are stupid for not knowing us history? what a joke
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There is nothing to being a mentally ill 14 year old fan of shane dawson in the 2015-2018 era. That man travelled to a town absolutely devastated by the 2018 forest fire, people who lost absolutely everything, and just turned to the camera and was like “a laser in space is the reason for this. The government did it.” And you would just be like yep. Checks out.
#to be fair I remember watching this one and knowing it was stupid but it was funny so I watched it#btw this is a real video that has probably 20+ million views#conspiracy era Shane Dawson is a cultural phenomena#I could talk for hours about the impact he had on young teens 2015-2018#don’t be mistaken that an entire other essay can be written about his impact on young teens with his videos from 2008-2015#two very different (and equally awful) people were involved there#I could talk about shane dawson and what his ‘cancellation’ did to me#I hate to use the word cancelation because what happened was so much more than that and what he’s done is way worse#but it’s the best word to use#a micro internet celeb youtuber Jake Dolottle will hate watch his newest videos every now and then and I watch every single one#I will have a physical reaction if I head the name Shane Dawson#the impact on my psyche when it was revealed how awful he is#and the livestream#it makes me genuinely upset#blah blah blah it’s your fault for being parasocial blah blah blah#girl I was 14 and wanted to kill myself#I had no good adult figures and this was a person I thought understood me shut up#I wasn’t even going to write in the tags I just can’t help myself#I know people joke about ___ is my Roman Empire but shane Dawson’s impact on young teens 2015-2018 including his past is my Roman Empire#by a lot too#I’m getting a degree in history at college and I am more interested in that topic#rae’s rambles
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Can I please request a snape smut fic? The reader and him have been friends since school and she is in love with him only he does not know it or realize his feelings till Sirius is flirting with her and it leads to a fight between them leading to them confessing to their feelings. Maybe some dirty talk biting and rough smut
Sooo...I got a bit carried away with this...definetly not the roughest smut I've written, but I hope you like it anyway.
Severus and his sunshine
Pairing: Severus Snape x fem!reader
warnings: Smut, loss of virginity
Wordcount: 7402 (oops...)
Read on Ao3 or below the cut:
“To the youngest Professor in the history of Hogwarts!” You cheer and raise your glass clumsily into the air, spilling half your drink down your arm. “Oops-” You giggle.
It’s not the first drink of the evening and not the first time you toast to Severus’ new job - and certainly not the last. It bears repeating after all because how fucking awesome is this? You have always known that Severus is the most intelligent and brilliant and ingenious person you’d ever meet! It’s unfair - no, a bloody shame! - how many people never realised it just because Severus’ is a bit awkward and rude and- alright he’s a downright cunt sometimes but he has every bloody right to be with the road his life has taken so far! With a father like that and that awful Potter and his stupid goons!
“We need to cut you off.” He drawls, the corner of his lips curling, and tries to snatch your glass from you. You jump off the chair you're standing on and cradle your drink protectively to your chest, firewhiskey dripping down your arm.
“Try and I’ll bite your finger off!”
“You’re drunk.”
“No, I’m not.” Severus shakes his head but doesn’t try to get your drink again, instead focusing on his own (the second of the evening - what a bore). The pub is crowded and loud, nobody pays any attention to the two of you sitting at a table in the corner.
You plop back down on your chair and take a sip of your drink.
Severus’ eyes have gone distant again. That happens a lot lately. Like something is on his mind that he lacks the words to tell you. Social interactions aren’t his strong suit. You’re the ‘Severus-translator’ Lily used to joke when you three were still friends because you always knew what Severus wanted to say but couldn’t. You always made sure he was included in conversations, told others to shut up so he could speak or smooth over his rough edges whenever someone didn’t get Severus’ dry and dark sense of humour.
One look at him from across the Great Hall during breakfast and you knew whether he was in a good or bad mood. You knew when he had a nightmare the night before and needed a gentler touch or when to bluntly tell him he’s being a cunt.
This you can’t seem to figure out.
He smiles less these days. Even less than usual. The four years since you finished school have been hard, especially for him, especially with the war.
Emotions are not Severus’ thing.
His long black hair falls into his face, hiding his grave expression from the world and you. His face has lost its boyish features. His jaw is more prominent, complementing his high cheekbones. His hooked nose suits him. It’s something about the proportions or symmetry of his face - you can’t quite put your finger on it. Most people seem to be put off by his appearance, but to you he has always held something uniquely beautiful.
He taps his finger against his glass repeatedly. His fingernails are still painted black…You made him let you paint them last time he was at your flat. It suits him.
You place your hand over his, stopping his fidgeting. You wish you’d know what’s going on in his head, clearly whatever it is puts him on edge, but you trust he’ll talk to you when he is ready.
“You’ll be great.” You say. “I have no doubt. You’re a bloody genius, Severus! These kids are so lucky. They can learn so much from you!”
“I am certain they will share your attitude.” He says sardonically and you snort. Severus downs his drink and takes your empty glass to get another round (and probably a glass of water for you because he’s such a mum sometimes). You smirk as you watch him make his way through the crowd.
He sticks out like a sore thumb in these new robes he got, but you think they too suit him. It’s probably the first time he isn’t wearing hand-me-downs. He’s wearing all black of course. The most colour you ever saw him wear was at Hogwarts in the form of his emerald green school tie.
Severus looks intimidating. It makes him look older, stronger somehow. It’s such a stark difference to the beat up jeans, the The Cure bandshirt you gifted him one Christmas and the shabby leather jacket.
But not in a bad way.
He looks good.
Maybe it’s the fact he has grown taller since graduation. He’s a head taller than he used to be and shed his bend over posture. Escaping both Hogwarts and his recently deceased father agrees with him. That and your continued effort of forcing him to eat three whole meals a day, every day.
His wide shoulders and dark hair disappear behind people and you rip your eyes from the spot you last saw him.
So much has changed in the last four years but that little flutter in your heart whenever you look at him has not changed. When it first started in your fourth year you didn’t even realise what it was about. You’d start stammering around him, earning you silent glares and raised eyebrows from Severus at which you’d blush. After an embarrassingly long time you finally accepted that you had developed a crush on your best friend.
You’re too terrified of losing him as a friend to ever tell him though.
Severus isn’t good with feelings. They are too complicated. Too messy. He doesn’t need messy. His life is messy enough and so you swore to yourself to never tell him.
Your friendship was already a miracle. You are his polar opposite. You are outgoing and friendly, polite - too polite sometimes - bubbly and optimistic. Severus is - well Severus. He is grumpy and quiet and rude.
You decided to befriend him in your first year. You saw him during the sorting and something about him pulled you in. You really wanted to get to know him and when you heard him talk during your first potions class you made the decision to gain his friendship however long it would take.
You started by sitting at the table next to his in the library. You’d sit there everyday, quietly doing your homework and when he stopped shooting you irritated looks when he thought you weren’t looking, you moved to sitting at his table. You simply smiled at the befuddled Severus and did your work.
You approached befriending Severus like one might approach gaining the trust of a wild animal. Over the year a truce-kind-of study group had formed between you.
Towards the end of term he asked for your help collecting some things from the forbidden forest - Lily would never break school rules, but you are certain Severus didn’t actually need help, he just didn’t know how to tell you he wanted to spend time with you.
During the summer you send him letters, even after not receiving any back from him and when you saw him by himself in the Hogwarts Express in September you sat down next to him and you’ve been friends since.
You know a romance is even less likely than your friendship was.
“Merlin! I almost didn’t fucking recognise you!” A familiar voice says and you throw up a little in your mouth.
“Black.” You say monotonous. As if he owns the place Black sits down opposite of you on Severus’ currently empty chair.
“You’re hot! How come we never snogged in school?”
“Because whenever I am forced to face the fact that you exist I want to smash my head against a wall.” You say with a honey-sweet tone of voice at which Black’s grin only grows. He doesn’t get the hint.
“How come you’re drinking alone, gorgeous?” Black continues undeterred, a poised and arrogant grin on his lips.
“I’m not.” His grin wavers ever so slightly but Sirius Black has always believed himself so utterly irresistible that such small details don’t matter to him.
“I don’t see anyone.” He is wearing muggle clothes, trying just a tad too hard to look like a rockstar, but he talks and holds himself like a pureblood still. He might have run away from home but he is still living off of his family’s wealth and he hasn’t changed one bit since school.
Black is (as usual) utterly unaware that he isn’t welcome. Black’s eyes roam over your face and down to your chest like he is appraising you, determining how much effort you are worth putting into seducing you.
“I think it’s fate we meet like this! You look-” He licks his lips and a shiver of disgust rushes over your arms. “So different. Bet you cut loose that tosser Snivellus. He was clearly dragging you under. A frown on such a pretty face should be considered a fucking crime.” You clench your fists under the table. You have your wand in your boot. It would be so easy to hex him-
“Someone as stunning as you- Oi! I was about to head to this club in Dublin that recently opened to meet Moony and Wormtail - You should join me!” He winks.
“As I said - I am here with someone.”
“But you could be with me!” He laughs as if he just made a joke but you know he is dead serious. He thinks you’d gladly ditched whomever you are here with for the chance of spending time with him. “Bring her too - the more the merrier.” There is a not so subtle suggestive tone to his words and he wiggles his eyebrows. “Come on gorgeous! Someone as sexy as you should not be so uptight! Let’s have some fun, let loose a little - it’ll be worthwhile to you, I swear.”
“What a compelling offer.” Sneers Severus and your heart drops. Great. “I wonder how many you made that promise to, Black, and how many you left disappointed.” Black’s grin falters for a split second.
That’s right.
Severus is different.
He stands taller. He’s fierce and strong and you aren’t at Hogwarts anymore where it’s four against one with the teachers turning a blind eye. You have no doubt Severus would pull out his nastiest curses on Black given the chance.
“Let’s leave, Sev.”
“Come on, gorgeous!”
“That’s not her name, but one can hardly expect a simpleton like you to care for such fine details as names.”
“Sev.”
“No wonder she looked like somebody was fucking murdered in front of her eyes when I found her - how Lily could bear being close to you for so long I’ll never understand.” Black turns towards you. “Kick this dick to the curb - I’ll buy you a drink, gorgeous.”
“She does not need you for that-”
“I can buy my own drinks.” You hiss and when Severus still makes no move towards leaving, you grab your jacket and storm off. Let them duel like little children if they want, but you won’t get in the middle of that.
The cold hair of the night hits you while you run down the street. Tears sting in your eyes and you feel so stupid and pathetic for crying. Nothing even happened. You don’t know what’s going on- that’s a lie. Severus sounded like he was about to suggest you’re with him and therefore don’t need Black to buy you drinks which…it’s not wrong. You were at the pub with Severus and you were going to make him pay (he’s a Professor now after all and from what Sev let on the pay isn’t bad) but it wasn’t a date. And Severus suggesting or intending to suggest that hurts. You want it to be a date goddamn! You’ve wanted it for over eight years!
Severus calls your name but you just wrap your arms tighter around yourself and continue down the empty street on the outskirts of London.
“Just wait!” He catches up to you. “What a fucking wanker.” He huffs.
“Mh.”
“What did he say to you? I should have hexed him! I knew it!”
“Drop it.”
“No, I will not drop it! He made you cry- come on tell me what he said and I’ll-”
“What?!” Abruptly you stop walking and spin around to face Severus. He looks at you perplexed, his cloak billowing behind him in the breeze. “You’ll go and start a duel? Why? I told you to drop it.”
“He’s a fucking cavemen! Just the way he looked at you-” Severus grimaces. A muscle in his jaw tenses and he flexes his wand hand.
“Why the fuck do you suddenly feel the need to defend my honour?! You just ignored me in there- nevermind. I’m tired. I want to go home.”
“Don’t let Black ruin our night-”
“You ruined our night! I asked you to leave, you ignored me. I ask you to drop it, you ignore me. I don’t want you to fight Black! We aren’t at school anymore - you’ll get arrested!” Something you have never before seen crosses through Severus’ eyes. Something dark. A cold shiver runs down your spine and you take an involuntary step back.
“I wouldn’t be arrested, Sunshine.” He says, voice low, rumbling like thunder, a muttered promise of destruction and ruin and heat pools in your belly. That he called you by his nickname for you which he uses very sparingly, if ever, doesn’t help the matter. Severus takes a step forward. The heat morphs into a twisting, curling mass that takes your breath away. Severus looms over you, shadows dancing over his pale skin, drawing his cheekbones into an even sharper contrast and you gulp.
“You think Luci is going to come and rescue you?”
“Lucius? I don’t need Lucius for that.”
“Do you even fucking hear yourself?!” Your voice echoes through the empty streets, thrown back off the house.
“He made you cry!”
“Why does it matter?!”
“Because-” He clenches his jaw, his fists shake with suppressed rage. His nostrils flare and for a split second a tingling sensation winds around your heart at the expression in his eyes - the softness in the middle of a raging storm. A lone, untouched, unbothered island in the midst of a roaring ocean.
Severus exhales. Tension falls off his frame and the expression is gone.
“Fine.” He says quietly. “Let’s go then.” And he walks past you.
“No.” You can hear his steps stop behind you. Tears drip over your cheeks and you stubbornly wipe them away. “Say what you wanted to say.”
“I thought you’re tired.”
“Say it.”
“It’s- it doesn’t matter.”
“I’m not moving until you say it.” You cross your arms in front of your chest. Behind you Severus sighs and you can practically hear him pinch the bridge of his nose like he does whenever you annoy him.
“You sound like a spoiled child.”
“Good practice then. You’ll have to deal with a lot of those, Professor.”
“Are you- I have the feeling you’re angry with me.” You spin around and glare at Severus. He’s not good with emotions, sure - but now he’s just being dense.
“What made you think that?” You deadpan. He rolls his eyes and his disregard for your feelings drives you mad.
“Black’s a bastard-”
“This is Warren all over again!”
“Yeah and I was fucking right about Warren wasn’t I?” A vein on his forehead pulses, but you don’t give a shit. Warren was your first boyfriend and Severus behaved absolutely rotten towards you.
“Warren was a huge mistake, yes - but he was my mistake to make! What- do you actually fucking think I would ever fucking touch Black? Just the thought gives me an STD!” The barest flicker of amusement flashes over Severus’ features. “I just- I don’t get why you overreact like this everytime I talk to a guy. And it’s not like I was engaging Black there! The fucknugget is just to stupid to get a hint!”
“I-”
“There it is again! You did it again! What is it that you can’t tell me? Come on Sev! You can tell me everything. When did you start having secrets from me?” It’s a hit to your ego as much as you don’t like admitting it.
You have always been Severus’ safespace.
He told you things he never even told Lily! Something you didn’t know until third year when Lily asked whether Severus’ parents are ‘fighting again’ when you knew Tobias dickward Snape beat Sev with his belt the day before the Hogwarts Express left for the new term. You fucking healed him in you compartment because his ribs were broken and she asked whether they were fighting.
Why can’t he tell you this?
Another tear slips over your lower lid and slides down your check. Your bottom lip quivers. You suppress a sniffle and nod.
You have never felt further away from him than you do at this precise moment. It feels like Severus is sand slipping through your fingers and the harder you try to hold onto him, to the way it was before, the faster he slips away. Maybe too much has changed. Maybe he’s too different. Maybe this unlikely friendship was doomed from the beginning.
You know you’re about to start bawling and that’s the last you want Severus to see.
“Alright…I see.” You whisper. “Life’s different now. We’re keeping secrets now…”
“Sunshine-”
“No- no, ‘tis fine-” You roughly wipe your eyes. “See you- see you sometime….congratulations again.” You turn around to find a quiet alleyway to disapparate to your flat and break down there like a pathetic little teen that got her pathetic little heart broken without ever even working up the courage to confess her pathetic feelings.
Your steps sound horribly loud in the dark, cold night and with every step you take away from Severus you feel like you’re losing him more, every step is another crack, another break, another insurmountable obstacle between you. The cold wind cuts through your clothes with ease and you shiver.
“I love you.”
You stop dead in your tracks. Your heart skips a beat or two or maybe it forgets how to work entirely.
Severus’ voice is quiet, uncertain like it has not been since second year when he thought you didn’t want to be friends with him anymore after he lashed out at you.
“Sunshine- I knew Warren would only hurt you. That he’s not good enough for you. He bragged in the Slytherin common room that you showed him your boobs- He said all sorts of awful things and I- I just sat there. I should have said something, defended you, made him shut up but- Warren was two years above us and…” He takes a shuddering breath, dispelling old shame and insecurity from his voice. “Black’s just like that. He never cared for you before and now all of a sudden he is dying to go out with you? You don’t even realise it, Sunshine but- you- you are stunning. You have changed so much since school, you are- fuck I don’t know- words-” He sighs and rubs his hands over his face.
You feel numb and like you’re on fire at the same time. Of course you knew Warren spread some shit about you around, it’s why you broke up and broke his nose in the process for good measure, earning three weeks detention with McGonagall, but you wished you would have known sooner...
And- Severus loves you? No- that can’t be right- He’s in love with Lily- it’s always been Lily-
“You’re happier somehow- you- you’re radiant and beautiful and- you’ve grown up so much and- and- I love you. I’ve loved you for years- I want to protect you. I want to guard your happiness and yes I’d go back to knock out every single one of Black’s teeth for talking to you like that. You just have to say the word - sunshine - I’m pretty sure there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. And I know I’m not bloody good enough for you- I am rude and surly and miserable to be around - I don’t expect you to feel the same…I- fuck I don’t know-”
“You love me?”
“I love you.”
“I thought you love Lily.”
“Lily is- was- still is- I have no goddamn clue- she’s like a sister. I love her. And I think marrying Potter was a huge mistake and that she’ll divorce him in about three years - if she manages to stand him that long and when she does I hope- I hope we can mend our friendship…maybe- but- but I don’t love her like that. Not like I love you.”
Severus loves you.
Has loved you for years.
Severus loves you… You swirl around and before your anxiety can overpower your heart, screaming and aching and thrashing about in your chest you cup his face with your trembling hands and press your lips against his.
Severus stiffens. For a moment you just stand there, on your tiptoes to be able to reach him, holding onto him, feeling his heat against you, your lips exploding with electrifying tingling. Your stomach clenches and twists, flip flops and gives birth to a thousand erratic butterflies and all flutter around in a whirlwind of emotions that are too colourful, too many, too intense to ever find words worthy of describing the sensation.
Cautiously Severus puts his hands on your back and moves his lips against yours. You’re still crying, tears stream over your cheeks and run along the curves of your face to your lips.
As if woken from an enchanted slumber, Severus drags you against his chest and kisses you fiercely. One arm wrapped around your back and clutching at your waist, and one hand cradling the back of your head, long slender fingers threading through your hair. You grab the front of his robes and cling to him.
You both stumble a few steps and your back hits the brick wall of a house. Severus licks along the seam of your lips which you happily part for him. Your kiss grows sloppy and desperate. Your tongues meet gingerly at first but soon the slight air of discomfort and wariness at this development vanishes, flies away into the cool air of the night, gone and forgotten, as unimportant as your stupid fight.
Severus is kissing you. You are finally kissing Severus. He loves you. He has loved you for years.
Everything is good.
“Sev-” You whimper against his lips between two kisses. You try to break them, to wrench an inch of air between you but Severus is like a man dying of thirst that finally found a water source and is clenching his burning thirst. “Sev-” You push against his chest. Severus releases your lips, but doesn’t move away, doesn’t let go of you.
He leans his forehead against yours and blinks back at you, his dark eyes seemingly trying to pervade yours, to find a direct path to your deepest thoughts, a link between you and him that is untouchable by anybody else, that runs deeper than any other connection between two people.
“Don’t you want to invite me back to your place?” You murmur and tug playfully at the button just above his throat. Severus’ eyes darken. A muscle in his jaw jumps. Your cunt clenches around nothing. Needy, desperate, wanting.
He clears his throat and steps back. How the fuck does he still look put together? How can he manage to reign in that storm in his eyes so expertly, so fast and clean while you’re a panting, sweaty, needy mess after just a few damn kisses?
“You won’t like what I’d do then.” He says, voice heavy with what he leaves unsaid. You push yourself off the wall and wrap your arms around his shoulders. You trail a few chaste kisses up the side of his jaw and flick the tip of your tongue over his earlobe. Severus inhales sharply and flexes his hands again.
“I don’t break easy, Sev.” You whisper and press a kiss to his ear. “You should know that.” He takes another shuddering breath and just when you think you’ll have to deal with the aftermath of his kiss on your own while picturing him nestled between your thighs (once again), he pulls you against his chest and holds you in a bone-breaking grip. You feel the familiar pull of side-along apparition and in the next moment you smell the even more familiar, dusty scent of Severus’ house. The smell of books is new, added after Severus renovated the house enough to evict his father’s influences and put his own touch to it - namely by adding a shittone of books.
Severus doesn’t give you time to catch your breath. He grabs your hand and pulls you up the stairs. You giggle and run to keep up with him. He practically kicks the door to his old room open (you know for a fact he has not even touched the door to his parents room since his father died) and crushes his lips against yours as soon as he pulls you over the threshold.
The burn marks from where Severus used to zap flies with his wand are still on the ceiling. The little pencil sketches you made near the baseboards are as well. He replaced his bed though. A brand new double which you are being steered towards now.
“Severus-” You moan against his lips and tear at the buttons of his new robes.
“Is this real?” He whispers back and leans his forehead against yours again, watching you struggle with his clothes. “I’ve pictured this so many times- thought about how I would feel to have you here- is this happening? Or am I sleeping?”
“It’s real.” You say, lips against his recently freed throat. “I’m here.”
“You’re here…”
“Severus-” You hesitate and pause your quest of revealing Severus’ body to your eyes. “I’ve never done this-” Suddenly you feel shaky and overwhelmed.
“Warren-?”
“Is full of shit. He lied- about all of it. Have you-” He nods, but there’s a distant expression in his eyes that tells you it’s not something he wants to talk about. Probably something he’s ashamed of. You know the kind of company Lucius, Mulciber, Rosier and the other’s like to keep and don’t pry further.
“I’ll trust you then.” You murmur and sit down on the bed, pulling Severus down with you.
“I’d never want to hurt you, Sunshine.” You kiss and between kisses scoot up the bed until your head is resting on the soft pillows and Severus’ lean body between your thighs. “I’ll take care of you.” He mutters against the corner of your mouth and kisses your cheek. “Such good care.” He trails down your jaw. “Like Black or Warren never fucking could.”
“I never wanted them.” You moan. Your body moves on its own, knowing precisely what you want and need even if your mind has yet to catch up. Your legs wrap around his hips, your back arches, pressing your breasts to his chest. You thread your fingers through his silky hair. “Only you.”
“Me?”
“Only you. Always you. Whenever I thought about it…when I pictured how it would feel while touching myself I only ever pictured you.”
“Oh sunshine-” He groans and rolls his hips against you.
“Sev-” Severus draws his wand and mutters a quick spell. Something curls in your stomach, it’s the weirdest sensation and for a second you are utterly confused, but then your gaze meets Severus’ and you understand. Contraception spell. You didn’t even think of that. Of course Severus did. You smile.
He mutters another charm and your clothes vanish. You squeak, blush and hide your face behind your hands.
You can hear the clanking of wood hitting wood as Severus tosses his wand onto the nightstand.
“You- fuck…” Cautiously you peek between your fingers. A faint pink tinge has spread over Severus’ cheeks and nose, down to his now fully exposed neck. He looks cute. Adorable. You take a deep breath and drop your hands. This is Severus. Your Severus. There is nothing to be afraid of with him. “You put to shame all great beauties of the comprehensive history of this world.” His words brush over your skin like a tender caress and make you shiver and burn with embarrassed heat at the same time.
“Severus-”
“It’s true. The old greek masters wish they would have had a model like you sit for their marmour statues. Such beauty has to be preserved for the ages - but you…you are just mine.”
“Who are you and what have you done to my stammering, cute, insecure Severus?” You tease. Severus’ eyes are still pinned to your breasts. He visibly snaps out of his thoughts and looks up to you. There he is. Flashing through his impossibly dark eyes for the flicker of a second before they return to the heavy gaze, consumed by carnal desire that has been ignored for too long and has now broken free with demanding force.
“He knows he’s about to find out how you feel.”
“Come and find out then.” You shoot him a challenging grin. Severus kisses you in response. He kisses you and settles more of his weight on you. His very much hard cock presses against your exposed cunt. You gasp and clutch at Severus.
“Shit- Severus- that won’t fit!”
“It will.”
“You sure?” He chuckles, his eyes lighting up with amusement like they do so rarely and you relax.
“I’m sure.” You trust him. You love him. You want him. He’ll take care of you.
You let him take control. Severus kisses you more. He seems determined to cover every inch of your body with all the confessions of his love he has missed out on. All the elapsed opportunities. All the kisses you could have shared if you both had had just a little more courage. But it doesn’t matter. You are here now. You are together in his bed, skin pressed against skin, breathing the same air, staring into each other’s eyes longingly while his hand slips between your thighs.
You’re soaked and whimper when his slender fingers gather your slickness, brushing your aching cunt with featherlight touches. He draws gentle, slow circles over your clit. Pressure and heat build in your belly and deep inside your cunt fast. You cling to his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin without even noticing.
“I wondered so many times how you’d look…” He murmurs. His lips brush over yours as he speaks. His breath dances across your cheeks.
“...in the throes of pleasure.” Severus’ voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it. A smoky rumble that goes straight to your core.
He teases your entrance until you’re squirming and rolling your hips against his touch before finally plunging a finger inside you. “I wondered how you’d sound…how I would feel knowing it was me making you feel like that…” You give him the answer promptly. Moaning and whining, gasping for air.
“Sev!” You throw your head back and arch your back. The pressure keeps building and building, beyond anything you ever managed yourself. He adds a second finger and with it a delicious, stinging stretch. He curls his fingers and presses the heel of his palm to your clit. You squirm under Severus’ intense gaze that seems to look right through you, through your skin down to your very soul. He watches every flicker of pleasure and desperation he paints onto your face with utter, devoted, undisturbed attention to you and nothing else. Nothing else matters.
Severus knows you like no other. It feels right to share this with him as well.
He loves you.
You still can’t believe it.
“Sev!”
“Cum for me, sunshine. Cum on my fingers. I want to know- I’m done wondering. I want to know.” You do. Crying out and panting his name, thrashing about beneath him as waves upon waves of intense pleasure run havoc over you, but it’s fine. You can let go with Severus.
“I need you Sev- please-” You gasp even before your orgasm has released you from its clutches. “Please please please- Sev-” He groans.
“Fuck and I thought you sounded needy in my head.” Severus mutters and aligns himself with you. He takes his time, giving you time to adjust to his girth, slowly pushing deeper and deeper into your still spasming channel, forcing it to give way to him. He grunts and whispers praise, how tight you are, how good you feel for him, how well you’re taking him. You whimper and hold onto him, leaving red streaks across his back. Severus doesn’t even bat an eye at it.
He buries his head in the crook of your neck and savours your every sound, every twitch and throb of your cunt finally, finally gloved around him.
“Sunshine-”
“Severus…” More words aren’t needed. He rests there, deep inside you, his body pressed to your trembling smaller one, shielding you from the cold of his room and the world itself and you know there is a promise in there somewhere.
“I can’t believe it-” He murmurs and kisses your collarbone, down to your sternum. He kisses and licks, sucks, grazes your skin with his teeth. “You feel…incredible…you’re so good for me sunshine-” He kisses your breasts, flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, licks broad strokes and teasingly closes his lips around them.
When Severus finally moves again he does so in slow, measured thrusts. He watches your expression with hidden wariness, watches your every reaction. He can’t hide from you though. He is waiting for you to regret this. To tell him to stop. He’s afraid of letting go, afraid of scaring you off, of losing you.
But he’ll never lose you.
You buck your hips and whine impatiently. “Come on Sev.” You whimper. “Fuck me like you really want to fuck me.”
“It’s your first time I will not-”
“It’s done, Sev. Bye bye virginity! That train of stupid little things society places far too much worth in has left the station indefinitely. Now fuck me.”
“Sun-”
“Severus Snape! Fuck. me. properly.” He groans. His eyes roll to the back of his head.
“Fine.” Severus grunts and a rush of excitement pulses through your stomach and drenches his throbbing cock in more fluids. “I warned you.”
The bed creaks dangerously under his thrusts. His hips slap against yours with a wet, fleshy sound that drives you crazy.
“Oh fuck yes- yes- just like that- that’s-” You babble more nonsense, moaning and shredding Severus’ back with your nails. He fucks you mercilessly into the mattress, spearing you open with his cock with each hard thrust. Your entire body trembles under his thorough attention. Your cunt yields to him in wet, fluttering excitement. It cherishes the promise of soreness his thrusts leave behind.
Any attempt at grasping for and trying to hold onto one of the many thoughts rushing through your fuzzy, hazy mind is a fruitless endeavour.
“Fuck! Ahhh- so good…” Severus mutters against your collarbone and plunges his cock into your drenched cunt again before pulling out almost completely and driving back in with such force he knocks your head against the headboard. You both laugh.
“Sorry-”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” You weave your fingers through his hair and pull him down into a sloppy, passionate kiss. You gasp and moan into the kiss and drink up the way Severus continues to lose the iron grip on his emotions he had cultivated since graduation, revealing more and more of the love-starved, unapologetic, fierce man you know him as. The man that feels so freely, so intensely, so deeply that it hurts him so much.
Every thrust, every kiss, every exploring hand gliding over your sweaty skin, squeezing your breasts in testing, careful motions is a testament to how deep his feelings for you run and have been running for so long.
It breaks free of him in violent bursts and buries you beneath roaring pleasure.
Severus is not good with words.
But he will be damned if he doesn’t show you what he can’t figure out how to say.
“Severus-” You moan, joining the creaking bed and his grunts, the symphony of your love. This would not be a pretty, romantic, fairytale like love. You are both messy and broken in your own ways. It will be hard. It will take work and compassion and will seem impossible at moments, especially in the midst of a war, but Severus is worth it.
To you he is worth it.
He always was and will always be.
You whine in protest when Severus pulls out of you but before you have a chance to voice it otherwise or even glare at him, Severus flips you over.
“Put your hands on the headboard.” He rasps in your ear. You are shaking and struggle to keep yourself upright, but Severus’ arms around your waist stabilise you. You hold onto the headboard so tight your knuckles turn white. Severus is kissing your neck, nibbling and sucking, painting his marks onto you as if to say ‘I was here’ or maybe ‘back off’. Maybe both. Maybe more.
He fills you up again, reaching much deeper than before and you gasp at the unfamiliar, intense feeling.
“Your cunt clutches me so hard-” He grunts and bottoms out. “Sucks me in- all soaked and desperate.”
“Sev-”
“Hmm…yes. I’m here…” He sucks the delicate skin on your neck into his mouth and bites down gently, at which a loud, wanton moan breaks free of you and he bites down harder.
You meet his thrust with your hips, his cockhead hits a spot inside you it previously missed and you fall apart. His grip around your waist turns bruising and Severus pulls you back. Your grip around the headboard goes slack. You melt into his touch, twitching and shivering, whimpering, mind fuzzy with always new, higher, stronger, more intense levels of pleasure.
Severus holds you to his chest, your thighs on either side of his, useless, hands helplessly holding onto his arms, and moves your body up and down his hard shaft. Using you and the fluttering of your cunt as your orgasm continues to coarse through you. He grunts and bites your shoulder, harder than before and a particularly strong spasm shakes your body. You drop your head onto his shoulder, melting further against him.
“Again-” You rasp and present your neck to him. A grin flashes over Severus’ lips. Sweaty strands of hair stick to his forehead, his eyes are glazed over with hazy lust.
“My pleasure.” He coos, but instead of indulging you, he kisses you. One small, chaste peck after another. You squirm against his grip, claw at his arms, painting more red streaks on his pale skin.
“You never told me you got a tattoo-” You murmur. The sight of the jet black snake and skull on Severus’ left inner arm pulls your mind out of its haze and into a brief moment of clarity. Severus hesitates ever so slightly in his thorough, teasing attention he’s paying to your neck. Something about the tattoo unsettles you, though you can’t exactly decide why.
“Must have forgotten. It’s new.”
“Hmm…very metal.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Why’d you get it then?”
“I thought I would.” Severus sucks on your neck and that plummets you back into mind-numbing, all-consuming, ecstatic pleasure.
“Maybe we should go to Dublin after.” Severus purrs in your ear. “Show Black all your pretty marks.”
“Idiot.” You giggle.
“I’m going to cum-”
“Cum inside me.”
“I don’t have to.”
“Please, Sev! Cum in me.” Severus pushes you forward and you fall face first into the mattress with a tiny outrages squeal. Severus laughs at you and grips your hips, adjusting them to sit flush with his own. He fucks you roughly into the pillows. You clutch at the sheets. Severus loses more and more of what little composure he still had. He mutters things you can’t make out.
His thrusts are accompanied with lewd, wet noises and the headboard hitting the wall.
“Severus!”
“I’ll fill you up ahh- with my cum- leave you dripping-”
“Yesyesyes-” He moves your hips with each thrust, pulling you back into him as he buries his cock inside you. His balls hit your sensitive cunt. His fingers dig into your skin, sure to be leaving bruises.
Severus cums with your name on his lips, tumbling over them in a low, reverent, lust-drenched prayer which you join with your own faint, desperate whimpers.
Feeling the hot spurts of cum hit your inner walls violently kicks you over the edge for the third time. Severus slumps above you, pressing his forehead to your back between your shoulder blades, panting and spent.
You stay like that for a while. Both of you trying to catch your breath, relishing in the buzzing glow of your aftershock and the feeling of each other’s love on your skin and warming you from the inside.
Gently Severus pulls his softening cock from you and lies down next to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.
“Sorry.” He murmurs in your hair and presses a tender kiss to the top of your head. “I hurt you.”
“I liked it.” You murmur back and place your hands against his chest, nuzzling your face to his neck. “Why did it take us so bloody long to finally do this?” He chuckles. He tugs a strand of messy hair behind your ear. You look up to meet his gaze. It’s heavy with emotions, a swirling storm of love and care and fear. You reach out to him in a futile attempt of soothing it. The pads of your fingers meet his cheek and he shudders under your touch, before leaning into it. His eyes fall closed and for a brief moment he looks at peace. Content. Home.
“I-” He opens his mouth as if to say something but closes it again. His brows pull together into a frown, a deep crease forming between them. His lips go white as he presses them together into a thin line. His jaw tenses. “I’ve made a terrible mistake-” His voice is hoarse from unshed tears and the effort of suppressing them. He loses. One escapes from between his closed lids and slides down his cheek, meeting your fingers. You wipe it away, but more follow.
“I’m trying to fix it- I am! But I-”
“It’s ok.” You whisper and press a tender kiss to his jaw.
So he did it…You had your suspicions, of course you did, but a part of you refused to believe Severus capable of those horrible acts committed by the Death Eaters. And you were right. The pain, regret and self-loathing is so evident in his face. He can’t bear to look at you.
“We’ll fix it. Together. It’ll be fine.”
You are there when the Aurors storm his house to arrest him. You were sitting on the threadbare sofa in his arms as he read to you.
You tell him not to resist, to not tell them anything.
You send an owl to Dumbledore.
You are at the trial, sitting on one of the benches. Severus looks miserable sitting in the middle of the courtroom, deep shadows under his eyes, a tremor in his wand hand. The chains of the chair are wrapped tightly around his arms. He avoids your eyes.
Dumbledore defends him passionately. Recounting Severus’ turning spy for him, reporting you-know-who’s steps to Dumbledore, how invaluable his intel had been. He recounts the dangers Severus was willing to face. He demands he is released. And he is. The Wizengamot clears him of all charges and you walk out of the Ministry with him, holding his still trembling hand in your own.
“Is this real?” He whispers and you bite the inside of your cheek to not start crying. You want to be strong for him.
“Yes.” You kiss his cheek and wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s real. You’re a free man. I’m here. I will always be here. We’ll figure this out.”
“Together?”
“Together. I love you, Severus.”
“I love you too, Sunshine.”
#severus snape#snape fandom#ao3 fanfic#severus snape smut#Severus Snape x reader#snape x reader#snape x you#request#dividers by cafekitsune
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I want to think a little about Blitz's self-perception with regard to his lack of education/sophistication. In my opinion, HB gives us a very accurate portrayal of what it feels like to navigate relationships when you're a person with a long history of feeling like you're never good enough ("I can always do better").
Let's start with his friendship with Moxxie, though like a lot of my posts, it will find its way back to stolitz.
Moxxie doesn't necessarily have more formal education than Blitz. I mean . . . he likely had the economic resources growing up, but I don't think Crimson seems like the kind of parent to prioritize education. Besides an education in violence. I assume that both Blitz and Moxxie had some basic education as kids, but the difference is that Moxxie likes "high culture(ish)" things like musicals and bow ties, enjoys knowing details about history, and probably reads for fun. He's also the kind of ". . . um actually . . ." friend who can make even a secure person feel a little stupid. Not that Blitz doesn't sometimes need to be called out, but Moxxie does seem to take some joy in correcting him.
And yes, Blitz bullies Moxx and calls his junk tiny and tells him to eat a salad, but like . . . it's pretty obvious that to some extent, Blitz is covering up for feeling inferior to Moxxie on some level.
We see how Blitz really feels about this in Truth Seekers.
Borrowed observation from excellent reaction youtuber Omn1media: When Blitz hallucinates Moxxie lecturing him, Moxxie goes really hard specifically on the insults to Blitz's intelligence. Moxxie's speech is also much more rambly/laced with figurative language than it is in their real (non-imagined) interactions.
We can see from Blitz's face in these scenes that these comments really get to him. Of course they do- he's making them up in his own nightmare.
"Foolish flights of fancy" is the rest of the caption there . . ."
He's very upset by the idea that he's really inferior to Moxxie- under all of the bravado, he's deeply insecure. It probably doesn't help that the truth gas made him admit that he didn't like the musical that Moxx recommended. Yes, I know that was a Cats joke, but also, Blitz bothered to lie, and he doesn't seem allergic to hurting Moxxie's feelings, so I think he wanted to pretend to "get" the "higher art" that Moxxie likes.
Okay so if Moxxie (with an essentially equivalent status and education) manages to unintentionally make Blitz feel stupid and uncultured, how does this translate when Blitz falls in love with Stolas, who IS objectively very high status and very well educated and DOES speak in "fancy rich people" language?
Oh. Right. The pedestal, the impossibility, and all of that.
I'm not saying that Hell's strict hierarchy doesn't have a lot to do with how Blitz perceives a real relationship between himself and Stolas as impossible- it absolutely does. And so does his history of failed relationships and heaping backpack of trauma. But also, the education/sophistication piece is there, and it's major.
I'm on the fence about whether Blitz actually sees himself as stupid or is just worried about being perceived that way by others. He obviously knows he's very good at the work he does, and that takes both a certain level of strategic thinking AND some very brilliant improvisation. I think he knows this. But he also knows he'll never . . . let's say, be the best read person in the room (if you want to know my thoughts on Blitz and literacy, click here- but short answer, I think he's quite literate but also dyslexic).
I think that like many real people who are kind of out of the box in this way (disrupted education and/or neurodivergence) he's simultaneously aware that he's very intelligent AND deeply insecure about being stupid or having others devalue his kind of intelligence.
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Quiet Dates - Part Five [OB38]
Series : Younger Sister
Summary: Ollie takes you on that first date because he won the bet. Takes you to a small cafe so your anxiety doesn't get the best of you and you can enjoy it
Pairing/s: Oliver Bearman x Norris!Reader, Lando Norris x Sister!Reader
Word Count: 1.7k
Masterlist Oliver Bearman Masterlist Lando Norris Masterlist Younger Sister Masterlist Tag List
Previous
Standing in the hotel room, Lando was out visiting Carlos and making sure that he was okay. Normal boyfriend duties as you liked to annoy him about. Hungary was fairly warm, so you had decided on a nice outfit that would keep you cool but still allow you to be comfortable in what you were wearing at the same time.
There was a knock on the door, so you got up from the bed and wandered over to it. Opening the door to see Ollie with a smile on his face wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
“Hey” You smiled, opening the door further to let him into the hotel room. Ollie was silent as he followed you back into the hotel room. You turned to look at him as you grabbed your handbag and phone
“Hey you okay?” You asked him with a frown as you walked over to him.
“Huh? Yeah, sorry. You just look really good” He smiled, and you blushed, glancing down to the ground before looking up at him
“You also look very good” You smiled, taking his hand in your own. Ollie blushed as he looked down at you.
“Thanks. I found a nice little cafe it was really empty when I went past it, and I figured that you’d quite like it” He smiled, and you nodded
“Sounds perfect” You smiled, walking out of the hotel room with him.
Walking to the cafe was nice and calm. Ollie made sure that he was holding your hand the whole way there to help ease your nerves as you walked, which you were so thankful for. You hadn’t known each other in person for a long time, but you had been talking over text for ages, which meant you both knew more about each other than you thought.
You looked up at the little cafe Ollie had found. It looked like a small family fun business that had pictures of the family history dotted around the cafe. Taking you inside, Ollie found a table for you both sitting opposite each other with a smile.
“So how's the race treating you?” Ollie asked as you looked about the cafe taking in the decor.
“They’re good. I’m quite enjoying them. Still not so comfortable about trending on social media every time I breathe. but it’s okay. I’m getting used to it. Comes with the job. Although teenage boys and girls who find out you’re hanging out with Formula One drivers aren’t the best. They’ve been blowing my phone up” You chuckled, and he nodded
“Oh I get that. The number of people I’ve had in my text messages from before I left school this weekend is crazy” He laughed, and you nodded, looking at the menu
“So I believe it’s my turn to pay” You hummed, and he shook his head
“Got to beat me to it” He hummed, and you rolled your eyes
“You know I will. You might have the reaction speed, but I’ve got older siblings” You hummed, giving your order to the waitress. Ollie did the same, ordering some tea and a slice of cake
“Don’t tell my trainer” He joked, and you nodded
“I don’t even know who your trainer is” You shrugged, and he laughed, holding your hand across the table
“So I know you probably don’t want anyone to ask you this, but how are you feeling about tomorrow?” You asked, tilting your head slightly to look at him
“I’m scared. More than scared, actually. Formula One is so much different to Formula Two. It’s faster, the cars are different, a lot more g-force, more g-force in crashes. There’s so much that could go wrong” He ran a hand down his face as you gently squeezed his hand.
“Ollie you’re going to do great. Look at how amazing you did today! I know it was probably a stupid question, and I’ve just made you even more anxious than before, but honestly, I know you’re going to do great. I know you are, and remember we’ve got a deal you need to keep” You hummed, and he smiled at you taking a drink of his tea
“Have you met Charles’ puppy yet?” Ollie asked, changing the subject
“He’s got a puppy?” You asked now, very excited. Ollie nodded
“Here let me show you” Ollie showed you a little picture of the puppy
“He’s a little dachshund” You smiled, looking at the picture
“I can see. He’s very cute. Is he here?” You asked, and Ollie nodded
“Yeah. I’ll let you meet him tomorrow. He wasn’t at quali” You smiled eating a bit of your cake.
“Want to go for a walk?” Ollie asked once you had both finished your drinks and food.
“Oh that sounds like a good idea” You smiled, getting up and walking to pay. Ollie tried to push you out the way so he could get there first and pay
“Oh come on, Ollie. You paid for the ice creams” You whined as he paid for the drinks and food. Oliver took your hand as you walked around the park that was next to the cafe. Your energy picked up as you spotted a play park.
Dropping Ollie’s hand, you skipped over, getting on the swings and starting to swing. Ollie laughed, following behind you in just a walk as you waved him over to come on the swings with you.
“You have so much energy” He chuckled while getting on the swing next to you.
“It’s a Norris thing. Actually no it’s not. It’s a Lando and Y/N thing. None of our other siblings have this much energy” You shrugged, enjoying yourself.
“That’s probably true” He laughed as you tried to get higher than him on the swing, except he was able to get higher faster
“Oh come on. I just want to go higher” You huffed, and he chuckled, getting off the swing and giving you a push. Your giggles make him smile even more than he already was.
Getting off the swing, your arms instantly wrapped around him as you regained your balance. Ollie pressed a kiss to your temple before you looked up at him with a smile
“I want to change our deal” You hummed, and he frowned, looking down at you
“What why?” He asked, confused, trying to read your face
“If you finish the race tomorrow, then I’ll go on another date with you. However, I don’t want our relationship to spawn out of a bet for your first ever formula one race. I want that to happen whenever we want that to happen” You explained gently, resting your chin on his chest as his arms wrapped around your waist
“What if I want that to happen tonight?” He asked
“I think I’d like that” You smiled up at him as he leaned down a little. Your faces hovering above each other
“Can I kiss you?” Oliver asked, and you nodded
“I think I’d like that too” You whispered as he leaned down.
Your lips pressed together gently as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He pulled you closer by your waist. You smiled into the kiss, relaxing in his arms as you kissed him. Pulling back after a little while. You rested your head against his chest as you looked up at him
“Was that okay?” He asked, causing you to nod
“It definitely was. Although you’ve stolen all my energy now” You joked, and he laughed
“Good. It means you’ll stop texting me at two in the morning” you smiled up at him as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his body as he started walking with you again. Looking at your phone, Lando had texted to say that he was back in the hotel room now and not to wake him.
“We both know that I’ll be tired until I get into bed and then I’ll be jumping on Lando again” Ollie laughed as you pulled a hair tie off your wrist and pulled your hair out of your face.
“I know my dads here, and he’ll be in the garage tomorrow, but I’d really appreciate it if you would be in the Ferrari garage tomorrow. You’ve got this great way of calming me down” You smiled, looking up at him
“You know I’ll be there if you want me there. Lando really won’t care” You hummed, and he nodded, stopping as you passed a fountain. You looked at him with a frown as he looked down at you with a smile on his face
“Make a wish” He hummed, and you turned to the fountain and made a wish before starting to walk back to the hotel. Walking you up to the hotel room stopping outside of your room with Ollie, who smiled at you
“Thank you for coming out with me” He smiled
“Of course. I really enjoyed it, Ollie. Thank you” You smiled, opening the hotel door up after giving Ollie another hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Walking into the hotel room silently, assuming that Lando would be asleep by now. you let out a scream when you saw Lando sat staring at you
“Jesus fuck Lando” You swore hand going to your chest as Lando laughed at you. There was a knock at the door
“Y/N?” Ollie called, and you opened up the door to see a worried looking Oliver Bearman.
“I heard you scream. Are you okay?” He asked, looking to check you for any injuries
“Yeah. Just got a heart attack from my lovely brother. He told me he’d be sleeping, but he was sat staring at me” You explained as Lando was still laughing in the background
“Oh good. I’m gonna go back to my room then” he smiled
“Night Ollie” Shutting the door again, you turned back to Lando, rolling your eyes as you sat on your bed, taking your shoes off
“How was your date?” Lando asked, raising his eyebrows as he turned in his seat
“It was good. We went to a little cafe then walked around the park. I got a little too excited when I saw some swings” Lando laughed
“So you admit it was a date?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes again
“Yeah. I admit it” You grabbed your clothes walking into the bathroom as Lando cheered obviously very happy with the outcome.
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"Now there are two things we can do." Brian said and looked at Beverly and Jimmy. "We tell Tim that Will is in a relationship or we let Tim be delusional just so we can see Dr. Lecter being jealous right in front of us."
"Tim from the HR department?" Jimmy asked a bit lost. "I go on vacation for once and I miss all the drama."
"Basically, this guy Tim is fruity." Beverly explained. "He's been visiting the lab for all kinds of stupid reasons only to interact with Will or to ask us about Will."
"Why didn't you tell him? He's taken for life."
"That's exactly what I was telling you two just now. We could tell him or we could see what happens." Brian went on. "Imagine being Will and having two men fight for you."
"Are you jealous, Z?" Beverly asked, making Brian scowl.
"No one is fighting for Will, Hannibal has already won."
"He has but does he seem to be the type to accept other people flirting with his hubby?" Jimmy asked rhetorically.
"That's a different story, you wouldn't want to see a man flirt with your wife either."
"Dr. Lecter is consulting on the case today. If we are lucky, Tim will come by. The funniest part is that Will is completely oblivious to his attempts."
*
"The victims not only have the eye colour in common. That was supposed to throw us off." Will said thoughtfully as he looked at the three bodies. "It's something else."
"We ran all the tests. Nothing similar." Jimmy replied.
"I mean, they did have the same blood type." Beverly added. "They are all B negative."
"I suggest you all find something more specific than that, we are not about to tell people to stay indoors if they have green eyes and the B negative blood type." Jack demanded a bit too impatiently. "Doctor?"
Hannibal was reading the case file just as Beverly was handing him the report following their tests. "We will find it, Jack." He replied not even lifting his glance but reassuringly enough for Jack to be satisfied.
The door of the lab opened and everyone moved their glance towards the visitor.
"Oh, hi, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."
As soon as everyone noticed it was Tim, their attention went back to the case file. Brian elbowed Jimmy subtly but not discreet enough for Hannibal to miss it. What he didn't miss was also the fact that this man who had just entered smelled really cheap.
"I hope I'm not intruding, I will be real quick."
Jack rolled his eyes. "What, Tim? What is it? Unless you solve this case I don't want to know."
Tim turned his head away from the dead bodies, visibly horrified. "I...sorry, no, not my domain. Unless they are trying to apply for a job here." He said and laughed awkwardly.
The joke made everyone in the room eye him at the same time, in a way that made Tim wish for the earth to swallow him.
"Anyway...I brought Will a coffee."
Hannibal flipped the page loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear it. "There is not sufficient information on the third victim. No medical history." He said as he watched the man hand Will the cup of coffee.
He gave Beverly a questioning glance. If anyone in that lab knew what was going on, she was the one. She shrugged awkwardly.
"We couldn't contact any relative of the last victim yet. That is why a lot of information is missing." Will explained. "Thanks'." He said absently as he accepted the cup of coffee.
Tim smiled widely, making Brian bite his own tongue in an attempt not to laugh.
"I like your shirt." Tim blurted out just like a teen who has been practicing the whole morning in front of the mirror.
Will was not phased, he was so focused on the third body that he didn't even hear the remark.
"I do too, I got it for him." Hannibal replied, making all the eyes in the room go to him. To Hannibal, that was never something to intimidate him. On the contrary. "It matches his eye color."
Brian kicked Jimmy again almost making him lose his balance.
However the most precious view in the room was the way Tim's face paled instantly. Out of pure stupidity, he tried to feed his own delusion and went on to ask:
"Aren't you Will's psychiatrist?" He had to convince himself that handsome man was nothing more than that.
Hannibal appreciated the poor thing for doing his homework. Although not completely.
This time Brian could not hold back his laughter, earning a punch in the shoulder from Jimmy.
Jack sighed loudly in his habitual "why can we never focus on the case" manner and didn't even make an effort to explain anything. "Please return to the HR office if you are done."
Hannibal made a mental note. Tim from HR. It was just as good as a business card. "Not anymore. Fact which makes buying clothes for my husband completely ethical."
Will lifted an eyebrow subtly.
"I didn't know Will was married." Tim mumbled taken aback, his heart and spirit visibly breaking.
"Will didn't know either." Will replied. "But I suppose I'm as good as married, indeed." He added thoughtfully before looking at one particular detail on each body.
"How does this discussion help us solve the case?" Jack asked, the frustration visible on his face.
"It does, in fact. If you check the victims you will notice they each wear the same ring. If you trace that back to the jewelry shop they got it from, we will have a new lead."
"I should have Tim in the lab more often." Jack said, pleased by the new connection.
"I don't think I will ever be able to come by. I don't like being led on." Tim said and left the room, making Brian almost choke.
"Who was that?" Will asked when he heard the door of the lab. "And how did I end up with this coffee?"
#hannibal#hannigram#hannibal lecter#blue writes#will graham#hannibal nbc#hannibal series#hannibal fanfiction
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AN INFLUENTIAL MAN’S COMPANION (OR IS IT MORE?!)
(alternatively, how they are dropping hints left and right that you are more than just a friend.)
— PAIRINGS ; alhaitham, ayato & childe x gn!reader (separate)
— CONTENT ; oblivious!reader, may contain a spoiler from sumeru's story quest on alhaitham's, mentions of childe's real name (ajax), reader is addressed as “little bug” in childe's (please, it's just a poorly written joke, i swear).
— NOTES ; don't care what everyone says but a man that has the power and money is definitely a man that i want. wrote this on a whim so 'm sorry for the horrible writing and the lack of details in this.
☆ — ALHAITHAM
"why are you so dense?" alhaitham's question caught you off guard, considering the fact that you were so immersed with yet another history book of teyvat in the akademiya's house of daena.
his sudden question made you unknowingly gazed at him with annoyance (it wasn't your fault though, not when he actually interrupted your reading of the fourth chapter), and you quickly bookmarked the page you had last read before actually paying full attention to the scribe across you.
"dense is not really a word to describe me. i think i catch on things around me quite fast," you huffed out, exaggeratedly bumping your forehead onto the desk. a silent thud was heard afterwards, not necessarily loud enough for other people to hear, but alhaitham definitely caught on the hint you mentally saying that you were bored and the fact that he took away the only form of your entertainment by taking away the thick book from you made you squinted your eyes at him.
your eyes prying at his action. he was an unpredictable man, so you couldn't question what he did. especially when the question of, "do you know what is the context of this book?" suddenly came out from his mouth.
"uhm.. yes?" you stopped thinking too deep when alhaitham's gaze zeroed straight into you, signalling that you should be answering his question more precisely. "a book about teyvat; the seven nations, the archon war, the history, the irminsul, the heavenly principles, the fatui, the abyss—
"ah yes, sounds like classified information, isn't it?" alhaitham cut you off, showing the old cover page with a knowing look that you couldn't really decipher. "you do realise that this book comes from the restricted repository room?" alhaitham was questioning you, slightly smiled when he saw how the gears in your brains were slowly turning and you finally understood what he was trying to point out.
"wait. you are right. it makes sense now, how incomplete certain details are since the book itself covers forbidden knowledge.." you put your right palm underneath your jaw, still in disbelief at the fact that the book in his hold was a restricted material for general use to the scholars and the public.
"not really the brightest mind," he paused. "that's why i said you are, indeed, a slow-witted person," he shook his head, his own work was slowly forgotten amidst the conversation he accidentally forced you into.
"that is just saying 'stupid' in a more formal manner. i am truly offended," you sighed, noting the way alhaitham seemed taken aback at the last sentence you gave to him.
alhaitham could only put down the book in front of you. "..and i am offended as well. you don't even think that i am using my authority to give you access to this one book you have been super interested in these days, haven't you?"
he turned away after seconds of eye contact, especially when your eyes widened and you felt how your cheeks were hurting due to the shock. "you.. did this for me? not exactly the first thing i would think of, especially if it's from the scribe of the akademiya."
you smiled, way too wide and alhaitham thought he was holding his breath for a moment. "thank you, you're so kind."
'kind' wasn't what he really expected you to say, specifically when he, himself, wasn't filled with kindness and tenderness alike. the you that he knew would be instantly flustered if you ever knew the true meaning of his intention when he first directed you with those questions.
he could only laughed heartlessly at your statement, thinking that you must have never received this much attention from someone, or that you really treated him as a true friend.
"i do not do this for some mere scholars, just so you know that you are exceptional."
☆ — AYATO
"my lord," you bowed down, giving ayato the respectable approach that he deserved. "is there something you would like me to help?"
ayato was a diligent and a busy man, that was the first thing you had noticed when he first took you right under his wing. his smile specifically was something you swore would be your death one day, he was too charming for your own good.
"come here," his bright face made you ten times more nervous than ever. "also, please, drop the formalities. we are hidden from the public view."
the last sentence was way too intimate, but you decided that it must have been his figure of speech.
"yes, my lord—i mean, ayato," you slightly cringed at the way his name rolled off your tongue not-so-eloquently. something about calling him by his name, even without his family name, felt super uncivil to you.
he had done so much for you, so to hear his request of doing what you had been accustomed to was hard.
so you could only stumble forward awkwardly, hands clasping together to stop yourself from shaking a little bit too much. why did he always bring out the nervousness within you in private? did he really had these effects?
"here, sit down," ayato's calligraphy pen halted its movement, and it didn't help to calm you down when he patted the sit beside his chair.
"i'm sorry, my lord," the title accidentally slipped away nonetheless, and you decided to ignore the look in his eyes—as if he was hurting by the fact that you didn't address his name, but he possibly couldn't be that childish, it was the commissioner after all—as he quickly regained his composure. "you need my help to assort these paperworks?"
"it is fine, y/n," oh, the fact that he didn't address your first name made you knew he did feel slightly dejected.
you quickly made up your action by swiftly gliding onto the chair he already pulled out underneath his study. for a moment, you were stunned at the act of a gentleman he usually did to you. he was so kind, and you knew that you were super lucky to have him as your employer.
"i don't want you to do anything today. you can rest up until tomorrow," he said, slightly rummaging some precious items he kept in the drawer. you knew those items in there were far more important to him, especially when it also had his late father's will that was neatly preserved in the sakura-scented letter he and ayaka made a long time ago. it was honestly a cute activity for them now that you reminisced the memory.
"is there any occasion? or you will be away?" you asked him, and you could see his eyes lightened up at the way his hand reached out to yours, and you were left baffled.
his hand was warm, that was the first thing you noted. besides when you felt something smooth in your palm, you questioned the foreign thing in your hand.
it was a necklace, with a lighter hue of blue as its pendant. your intrusive thought won you over as you saw how the pendant resembled ayato's hydro vision to an extent. it was ethereal, at least in your eyes.
by the feel of it, you already knew this necklace's worth had already exceeded your wage.
"ayato?"
"it is for you. i was buying one for ayaka when i was reminded of you, y/n," he warmly explained, his sincere eyes were too much for you as you avoided his eye contact.
your beating heart felt dangerous as ever. his hands were still engulfing yours, as if to keep you from shying away.
"take it. it would mean a lot to me."
"thank you, sir-ayato," you corrected yourself, and ayato thought it was adorable of you to stutter around him.
his heart was content when you thanked him over and over again.
if giving the necklace was a metaphor to his love letter, then he would be overjoyed when he saw you roaming around his estate with the necklace on you the next day.
☆ — CHILDE
"today's a really nice day," childe sighed happily, as he picked you up from the ground, and you repeatedly punched his back, flailing in his arms to put you down.
"ajax!" you gasped, who wouldn't be in shock, when you were literally caught off guard by his attack and then your feet weren't touching the snowy path anymore. "put me down."
"ehem, manners, please," he faked a cough.
you could only kick around, although none of your actions would actually affect him physically. "i am almost going to swear at you, you know?"
"put me down, please," you tried to whisper into his ear, so that he would feel ticklish by the air that escaped from you.
"gross," he commented, and before you knew it, he already let you go from his somewhat soothing hold onto your body. "need to disinfect my ear after this."
you slapped his arm after hearing his bad joke, roughly enough to get his focus onto you. "let me do it with the bug spray i have at home. i hope it'll cleanse your whole soul too."
"touché," childe cracked a smile at hearing you almost choked on your breath. "aren't you my little bug?"
"don't you have a cuter nickname for me? seriously, bug? out of all lovelier things on this world?" at this point, you had already clinging onto childe's side, hyper aware at some people who had been watching the playful fight between you two for some time now.
childe noticed the way you practically glued to him, your hand fisting the sweater he wore, and childe could only thought that your ministration would only bring a misunderstanding, especially that one which people always commented on when they saw both of you.
"look at you two."
childe could only smile at the old lady that passed by him. "couple fights are normal, until the old days. i hope you're having a great time," the old lady patted your back, and when you were about to clear the misunderstanding he had always loved, the old lady left.
"w-what?" you turned to childe whom somehow looked at you fondly, and you could only voiced out your opinion on the cold day. "that old lady is not making any sense."
"—and you, ajax," you continued when you caught childe slacking from paying his full focus attentively to you, as he only shrugged his shoulder. "...are you really going to leave again?"
"hm?" he hummed, and thought to himself that you were so adorable in his spare sweater, fighting against the chilly wind and hesitating to actually say that you would miss him if he went to liyue for his work again.
"of course. it is my duty for the tsaritsa, and no, you won't be going to join me this time. have you forgotten when you almost got hit by the fatui because they were belittling you?" childe quickly cut you off when he saw how your lips twitching at his words, knowing too well that you would suggest the idea of venturing to liyue with him. the last time he accepted your idea, he almost blamed himself fully if one of his subordinates hurt you. he could only thank the archons that nothing too severe happened on you.
"b-but—
"and, our date for today went exceptionally well, wasn't it? you won't miss me like you have always did before," he winked, and you almost threw your fist at his face if you could. "i am going there for a week. i'll be back before you know it."
"right. let's stop now before your teasing goes too far ahead of yourself," you rolled your eyes, and only did you notice that you were still holding him dearly.
you quickly pulled your hand, and childe swore he had already missed the way you stayed close by his side. he was definitely smitten, he knew it.
"thank me later for wasting my money on you," childe laughed at the way you tried to run away from his grasp.
if he could, he would voice out loud that he really didn't care about his money, as long as you were happy with him, and it frustrated him a little bit that you really thanked him for that when all he wanted to say was that he loved you too.
all rights reserved © genshinology 2023 strictly on tumblr only. any form of wrongdoings under the copyright law is strictly prohibited.
#☆.works#yaepublishinghouse#twilighttheatre#al haitham x reader#ayato x reader#childe x reader#al haitham x you#ayato x you#childe x you#al haitham fluff#ayato fluff#childe fluff#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact imagines#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#al haitham imagines#ayato imagines#childe imagines#alhaitham imagines
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super short london slang guide !!
i haven't got a scooby doo about cockney so this is mainly gonna be mle and like the way 14 year old secondary school boys talk oookay let's go (just so yk i am a londonder!!!!!)
direct things to call people (or avoid calling people)
bruv, blud, man, mate, fam (can use in replacement of a pronoun like he, she, you and i or for emphasis — "man's got a meeting, bruv!")
more on "man" it can be used in plural too — "us man" or "them man" or "you man"
my g, my guy (for referring someone you are friendly/friends with)
bossman (something you'd call a shop or business owner — "aye bossman get me the 3 wings and chips yeah")
big man (usually used in a sarcastic friendly but kind of demeaning way, the older cousin of "big guy" — "oi big man what you sayin' cuz?"
i wasnt going to put these here cause of personal preference but 😭 people are gonna use them anyway so i might as well tell you what they mean:
peng (adjective cute/pretty — "her? she's peng!")
leng (adjective hot/sexy — "rah, he's leng you know?)
nouns
ting (usually to refer to a girlfriend but can also just mean "thing"... or a knife? — "don't chat to my ting fam!")
grim (very outdated word for a promiscuous woman — "she's a grim bruv!")
skeng (gun)
shank, spinner (knife)
paper, Ps, pronounced "peas" (money)
ends (neighbourhood, area — "if i catch you in my ends yeah")
mandem (group of friends — "having a laugh at the pub with the mandem" aha)
gyaldem (group of women / female friends)
ganja (weed)
blem (cigarette)
pagan/paigon (snitch or untrustworthy person, not a super common you might wanna use "snake" or "snitch" instead)
wasteman (someone who's useless, a lowlife)
pussio/pussyo (pussy, coward)
other common words and phrases
wagwan, or "wag1" in text (what's up, what's going on)
bare (a lot — "i got bare problems with him!")
gassed (prideful, full of yourself — "im actually so gassed, man got promoted"
"and that" (instead of "and stuff" — "i got links and that")
"allow it" (let something slide — "i forgot my wallet allow it bossman")
safe (like "alright cool", or as a bye — "aight safe")
"pattern up" (fix up, get it together)
hard, tight (cool, good, though "hard" is also used in an offensive way — "bro thinks he's hard, pussio")
blam (to get shot, not actually very common to hear in my experience)
sheffed (up), shanked (to get stabbed)
ahlie (used as an interjection when in agreement with something, similar to phrase "am i lying?")
non-mle specific words i hear sometimes
thick (dumb, stupid)
clapped/tapped (ugly, weird, unattractive)
merk/murk (kill, beat up)
slag, sket (slut)
chav (used to refer to someone of the low social status, associated with violent or rude behaviour)
taking the mick, taking the piss (being annoying)
mad (means crazy obviously but people use it a lot, can have positive and negative connotations — "that's mad!")
nonce (literally means pedophile / sex offender, do what you will with it 😭)
dickhead, bellend (similar to douchebag)
wanker (used towards someone you dislike, or in a joking way)
geezer (usually to refer to an old man)
also!!!
depending on which communities are predominant in the area, words from other languages can come in / have come in
some words are common with US slang too because they share origins 😁 ain't that cool
there's a lot of influence from jamaican patois due to the history of british jamaicans in london for ex in words like "ting" or "mandem" or "wagwan" (hence why mle is sometimes referred to as "jafrican") and its not strange to hear "bomboclaat" or "bloodclaat" here either
in communities where there's muslims and arabs (especially in east london) you might hear arabic terms like "wallahi", "khalas" or "astagfirullah" (though people debate whether that's cultural appropriation or not)
south asians have also had an influence with words like "gora" or "ganja" though again this is largely area based and the impact of hinglish is also found a lot outside of london
some people have a mix of different dialects! i mainly alternate between mle and estuary (sometimes yorkshire don't ask it is very easy to pick up...)
you're not gonna hear every single word here all the time the usage varies throughout london. the way north and west londoners speak can be v different for example
uhhhh if you wanna learn properly just listen to some grime or sutn . listen to londoners speak!
for some more resources in-depth PLEASE check out these guides made by other british people ! (one and two)
ok that's it bye bye british ppl & londoners feel free to add on! it is midnight rn so ive probably missed stuff lol... dms are open in case you've got any questions or want any help :p
#vee rants#hobie brown x reader#spider punk#spider uk#hobart brown#hobie brown#hobie brown x gn!reader#british accent#london accent#potential to be edited
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bound 2 (falling in love)
danielle marsh x fem!reader | one shot
Synopsis: Good news: Danielle has agreed to be your pretend girlfriend for Christmas so Haerin can stop extorting you of money. Bad news: Danielle is a bit too good at being a pretend girlfriend.
Contains: suggestive and threatening jokes, cursing, obligatory mistletoe scene
Song: Gingerbread Lover — Ivoris, Chevy
“I’m so screwed,” is what you say as you plop on the booth across from Minji.
She makes no movement to greet you, engrossed in some YouTube video titled ‘How Ceramic Tiles Are Made’. She’s never expressed any interest in tiles nor has any history with tiles, but this is not anything unusual for Minji.
She’s also playing the video at an uncomfortable volume, not necessarily on full speaker, but loud enough that the people on the next table over could hear and possibly be annoyed at.
You start digging into your chicken Caesar salad and smile to yourself in amusement as you spot Minji’s finished plate of it as well.
The two of you made a pact to eat healthier. Issue is, there’s this one dessert place two streets down that makes some bomb biscoff cookies, and you always catch each other there at least once a week. There’s a silent agreement that this does not break the pact.
You both sit in silence for a few more minutes until the video is finished — you eating and Minji watching.
Minji takes a loud sip of her hot chocolate when the video transitions to an obnoxious outro. “You were saying?”
You retell the story to her with a mouth full of food, and there are occasional offtopic segues, as there always are.
To sum it up: Your cousin Haerin is a force of evil and strangely has a good memory. Allegedly, you made a wager with her when you were both nine years old that you would get a girlfriend to bring home for Christmas when you turned eighteen.
And apparently, if you didn’t find one, you would have to pay her a hundred dollars.
Two things strike you as absurd: that younger you somehow thought you would be charming enough to get a girlfriend, and that younger you somehow thought you would have a hundred dollars just lying around to spare.
And for some reason, Haerin decided to never remind you of this wager until, of course, yesterday. You obviously didn’t believe her, but it was kind of hard to argue with Haerin.
Not because she’s good at arguing, but because she just stands there with this look in her eyes that makes you uneasy. So, you didn’t bother questioning her because you know there’s no escaping this fate.
So now, you have just a few days to find a girlfriend, because there was no way you were paying money.
There’s also the matter of pride, too.
“Yeah,” you finish off your monologue. “I texted Hanni if she could be my date, but she just ignored it and sent me some TikTok of a stupid looking dog.”
Minji steals a piece of grilled chicken from you, to which you step on her foot under the table. You pull back your feet in time before she can return the favor. You get a glare instead.
“And Hyein?”
A notification ding stops you before you can speak. You lean forward to look at your phone. “Speaking of Hyein…”
Hyein’s text reads, I think I found someone for you! You two meet at the usual cafe at 12 tomorrow :)
“Okay,” you start. “Good news or bad news first?”
Minji thoughtfully chews on another piece of grilled chicken that she stole. Your plate of salad somehow now sits in the middle of the table instead of right in front of you. “Bad news.”
“Well I want to say the good news first,” you wave the fork in your hand dismissively. You’re pretty sure Minji mumbles “asshole”, but you ignore that as well.
“Good news,” you declare with a smile. “I found a girlfriend.”
Minji is unimpressed.
“Bad news,” you sigh. “I have to talk to said girlfriend who is a stranger.”
She is still unimpressed. “This is why nobody wants you. You don’t talk to anyone outside of us.”
“You don’t get it. It’s part of my mysterious vibe,” you grumble petulantly.
“Well, if you don’t want to socialize like a normal person,” Minji is folding a serviette into some sort of disfigured airplane. “Then consider paying Haerin that one hundred bucks.”
“I would never,” you fold your arms. “And even if I would, I can’t, because I literally only have 76 dollars in my bank account.”
You text Hyein back: you’re the BEST i love u so much xoxoxoxoxo
Minji tries to throw her tissue airplane at you, but it flops unceremoniously into your now empty bowl.
She sighs. “I guess I’m paying for lunch.”
“It’s your turn anyway.”
And that’s the end of the conversation, or at least the conversation concerning your predicament. You both spend the next hour babbling on about recent life updates and rehashing the same old stories over and over again.
“How do I look?”
You have your phone set upright by leaning it on this worn red panda plushie. Its head is permanently twisted after you and Haerin fought for it as kids and ended up ripping it in two, which led to your mom having to stitch it back together. She didn’t do a very good job, clearly.
You see Hanni, or what you think is Hanni, squint at the camera. “Like a bunch of pixels. The connection is so shit that you look like those wendigos from Until Dawn.”
“I’m sure you look fine,” Minji chimes in. This is the first time that she’s spoken since the call started (the call has been going on for half an hour), her camera pointed at her ceiling, and you’re pretty sure she’s half asleep.
“Thanks,” you say. “And I’m pretty sure it’s your WiFi, Hanni.”
You think she’s arguing back, but it’s all a garbled mess, and then the call drops. (It was definitely your WiFi.) You check your appearance one last time before you make your way to the cafe.
The cafe is named “Spill The Beans”, which you find appropriate, because that’s all you ever find yourself doing there. The walk there is a bit long, but the decent prices and good quality make up for it.
Plus, it means that most people would rather go to a cafe that’s closer, so this one has a bit more of a ‘if you know, you know’ vibe to it.
You’re also friends with one of the workers there, and she occasionally sneaks you a free pastry, or even better, gives you gossip about one of the regulars. You smile when you see her signature blonde hair through the window.
The cafe is decorated for Christmas — tinsel stringing on the top and bottom of the windows and cutely drawn candy canes and baubles stuck on the panes. There’s also a cardboard cutout of a snowman holding a coffee cup sitting next to the door. You hear the muffled voice of Mariah Carey.
Your entrance is announced by the light tinkling of the bells. You make your way to the cash register to greet a familiar face.
“It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas!” Yunjin sings as she twirls clumsily, broomstick in her hand as a microphone. You are forced to stand there and watch this. For some reason, she’s adamant on greeting you with a coffee pun everytime you come in. She has yet to crack a smile from you.
“Stop it,” you groan, scanning the cafe and checking who’s in. There’s only four or five people in right now, most of whom you recognize. She holds the last note, with an unnecessary vibrato, for a few more seconds.
“So,” she leans toward you with an eyebrow raised. “Anything new or interesting you wanna share?”
“Asking for gossip?” You deadpan. “Is that how you take orders now?”
“Just curious,” Yunjin says nonchalantly. “You’re never here alone.”
You give her a scowl. “Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m here.”
There are some things that you can be sure of in life. You know how the saying goes: death, taxes, and Yunjin being all-knowing. She and her little army of spies (spies being her co-workers) are the most nosy people you could ever meet.
You’re pretty sure they consider eavesdropping as their main job, and that the cafe is just a means for them to satisfy their curiosity. (Again, an extremely appropriate cafe name.)
She grins cheekily, dropping her voice to a whisper and tilting her head. “She’s on that table.”
You follow her gaze to the table against the window, where a girl who seems around your age is staring outside like she’s the protagonist of a coming-of-age movie.
Yunjin slides you a slice of a carrot cake and winks. “On the house. Good luck!”
You grab the plate off the counter and slowly make your way toward your future fake girlfriend.
“Hi,” you clear your throat awkwardly as you slip into the seat opposite her. “Danielle, right?”
She enthusiastically nods and smiles. “It’s nice to meet you.”
You slide the plate of carrot cake towards her, to which she gratefully accepts. “Has Hyein filled you in on everything?”
“Hm,” Danielle taps her cheek. “Christmas party, a wager, and me as a fake girlfriend?”
“Sounds about right,” you hum. “Not to be nosy, but is there a reason that you’re doing this? I mean, you’re not getting anything in return.”
“Hyein did say she’d owe me a favor,” she answers with a hint of amusement. “Which I’m sure will come in handy one day. You’re also cute, so it’s a bonus.”
You internally wipe a proud tear. God bless you, Hyein. You make a note to get her something snazzy for Christmas. You were so thankful for Hyein that you didn’t even process the last sentence.
You then realize that you’re just spacing out and probably look a bit crazy, so you quickly clear your throat. “So, we should probably come up with our origin story and all that.”
“We should,” Danielle agrees.
You scratch your nape awkwardly before pulling out a notebook. You have this secret theory that notebooks are a hoax and people just pretend to use them. Which is a bit contradictory for you to say, because you’re using one right now. But you still hold onto that belief.
“So, when did we first meet?”
She seems a bit taken aback by the presence of the notebook, but her face quickly relaxes into a smiling one. “What are your interests? Maybe we share some and that’s how we met.”
“Actually,” you proudly flick to the back of the notebook. “I have prepared for this question.”
It reads: About Me
I like staying indoors
I go to the cafe sometimes
And that cookie place
Cats are cute
?
“Wow,” Danielle says after surveying your notes. “This is a very… extensive list.”
“Anything that can be used for our story?”
“Let’s just say we met at the cafe,” she decides. You nod in agreement.
“And who approached who first?”
“Definitely me.”
You frown and stop writing. “Why definitely?”
“I mean,” Danielle gestures at you vaguely. “We have to make the story realistic.”
“I hope you mean that because I’m too irresistible, not because I can’t talk to anyone.”
She smiles. “…Right. That’s exactly what I meant.”
“Excellent,” you say, continuing to pen down the story. “So, let’s say about three months ago, give or take, you entered the cafe for the first time. And then you saw me, sitting there all cute and pretty, and you knew you just had to ask for my number.”
“Right…”
“And because I’m never here alone, I’ll just say Minji was in the bathroom. I gave you my number, and then we instantly hit it off.”
“And Minji is…?”
“Oh,” you pause. “She’s a dumbass. Don’t worry about her.”
“Okay,” Danielle says slowly. “And our first date?”
“We’ll get to that in a sec,” you tap your pen. “Tell me about yourself.”
“I,” she heaves out as she bends down to reach into her tote bag. “Have also prepared.”
She slaps a folder on the table that resembles a police case file. You feel a sudden wave of affection crash over you. You immediately open it in anticipation.
It’s an in-depth profile of Danielle. There is the technical stuff, of course: name, date of birth, star sign, MBTI. Then, there’s the ‘favorites’ section: color, animal, season, time of day.
“Oh wow,” you run your fingers over the page. “This is more than I expected.”
You turn the page. There’s a ‘fun facts’ section, although you’re not sure if it’s considered fun. Example: “I once broke a tooth from trying to eat a rock. I also choked on it and my friend had to perform the Heimlich maneuver.”
“Oh wow,” you say again, louder this time, and out of concern more than awe. “Was this when you were a kid?”
“No,” Danielle blinks innocently. “Just last year.”
She is fucking insane. How on earth did Hyein find her?
The last page features results that she got from various UQuizzes, like “what romance trope is meant 4 you?” (ironically, she got fake dating) or “which ‘-core’ aesthetic are you?”
“I’ll make sure to study this when I get home,” you stare at the pages in astonishment.
“Sure,” Danielle smiles. “I was thinking our first date could be at the local arcade.”
A memory of Hanni breaking the buttons and joystick of a fighting game flashes in your mind. The joystick somehow flew and hit a worker in the face. To this day, you still have no idea how it happened.
Regardless, you always look back at the memory fondly, especially because Hanni didn’t even end up winning, despite putting her whole body into smashing the buttons.
“Haerin will know that’s a lie,” you grimace. “I’ve been banned from that place for three years now. Long story.”
She looks curious but continues anyway. “How about a classic dinner?”
“Hm,” you purse your lips. “There’s this amazing Korean restaurant that’s a 10 minute walk from this place.”
“And you’re not banned?”
You laugh and shake your head. “No. They make this amazing jjajangmyeon. I’ll have to take you someday.”
“Sounds good,” Danielle’s eyes twinkle. “I think that’s good enough for now. Anything else I should know?”
“The party is on Christmas day, of course. It’ll just be a dinner and some party games, nothing too serious. After the party, our work is all done!”
“And Haerin,” you hesitate. “She’s nosy. But not in an ‘asking questions’ way, but in a staring way. So we have to act really good if we want her to believe us. Like, a real couple and everything. Like-”
Her laugh cuts you off. “You can say PDA, it’s okay.”
You cough and turn to the side to hide the heat rising in your cheeks, but when you look out the window, you see an odd sight.
Across the street, on a bench, there are two suspicious figures sitting. Suspicious meaning wearing sunglasses, a coat, and a scarf despite it being hot today. Suspicious meaning Minji and Hanni.
No fucking way, you think. Those little fuckers.
“-you okay?” Danielle waves her hand in front of you.
“Huh?” You quickly turn back. “Yeah, it’s nothing.”
“I love physical touch,” she admits, although somewhat shyly. “So I’m okay with hugging and holding hands.”
“Good!” You reply stiffly. “Great. Awesome. All done.”
There’s a mix of confusion, concern, and amusement on her face. “I’ll see you soon?”
“Yes,” you slide your phone across the table before opening her file in front of your face to hide your embarrassment. “Let’s text in between so we get used to talking to each other too.”
The two of you exchange numbers and you watch Danielle leave with a smile and a wave. Minji and Hanni proceed to shuffle inside the cafe, sighing in relief as they take off their ‘disguise’.
“Oh my god,” Hanni whines, resting her cheek on your outstretched palm. “I thought I was gonna die outside.”
You retract your hand in disgust, but not before flicking her forehead. “You’re sweaty. And you deserve it.”
“So how did it go?”
You recount everything that happens. Minji makes you pay for her lunch. You now have 46 dollars in your bank account.
When you get home, you hug your red panda plushie and turn on your phone to see a text from Danielle. You spend the next few days talking to her, your feet kicking in the air and a stupid smile on your face.
The day of the Christmas party has arrived. It’s due to start at six in the evening, and exactly three hours before that, Haerin sends you nothing but an ominous text: I will be awaiting you and your girlfriend’s arrival.
You roll out of bed and get ready in the morning, and read through Danielle’s file one last time. You’ve annotated it, adding sticky notes and highlighting it, which is more work than you’ve done for the entirety of university so far.
You make sure to put the matching reindeer headbands that Danielle suggested on before leaving. You drive to pick her up and you try not to weigh the meaning of the warmth blooming in your chest as you see her.
“Hi girlfriend,” Danielle puffs her cheeks out and smiles as she gets in the car. It’s awfully cute.
“Hey.”
“Before I forget,” you reach over into the glove compartment to grab a little box. “I got you a Christmas present.”
Danielle gasps, eyes shining as she opens the box. It’s a gold necklace with a sun pendant. You remember her eyeing it when you went out to the mall.
You don’t expect her to laugh. “What’s so funny?”
She also takes out a little box from her pocket. “I also got you a present.”
God, she even prepared it with a nice ribbon. You unwrap it to find a silver bracelet with a moon pendant. You think you’re a tiny bit delusional for thinking that you two were meant to be, but you let yourself live in this fantasy just for today.
“Oh my god,” you grin. “We’re matching now.”
The both of you put on your respective gifts before you start the car. You instinctively pass her your phone to pick a song. Of course, she puts on Christmas music. You glance at her as she takes out her crochet supplies.
“What are you working on?”
“Nothing much,” Danielle says. “Just a little cat to add to your car. It’s kind of plain.”
Her thoughtfulness makes you feel an out-of-body experience where you want to scream your lungs out and melt into a gay puddle.
You manage to get out one word. “Cool.”
The two of you pass the time by quizzing each other and ironing out the fine details of your ‘relationship’. And belting your hearts out to Christmas songs.
The drive is only an hour or so, and there’s a tender feeling encompassing you as you truly realize that it’s Christmas. Spending time with family is always nice. Receiving presents is too.
You only see Haerin a few times a year, and Christmas is one of them. Despite your bickering and her foreboding aura, she’s still somewhat endearing.
Danielle looks out the window in excitement as you draw closer to Haerin’s house. There’s a large blow-up Santa set up on the lawn that they reuse every year, and a bunch of other generic Christmas decorations.
You can already spot Haerin in the window of the house staring at your car.
Pretending to check your phone, you mutter, “She’s watching us. Let me open the car door for you.”
Danielle only responds with a giggle. You dash outside the car in record time, open the back to get your cookies and presents, and open the car door for her, as planned.
She surprises you with a kiss on the cheek. You’re sputtering and blushing, and she has to drag you toward the house (and lock the car for you).
By the time you come to your senses again, Haerin has vanished.
You heave out a long exhale and your gaze flickers to Danielle. You find that her eyes are already on you. If there was a person who could embody the joy and comfort that Christmas brings, you think that it would be the girl in front of you right now.
“You ready?”
Danielle brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear. For a second, you indulge yourself in the yearning of your heart and pretend that this is all real.
“Of course.”
Inside the house is chaotic as always. Everyone’s rushing to finish wrapping gifts, preparing the food, putting plates and cutlery on the table, setting up the TV to play Mario Kart, the usual.
You take Danielle around to introduce her to everyone, and you feel slightly guilty as everyone fawns over her. Haerin is the last person you find.
“Haerin,” you say. She nods in acknowledgment. “This is my girlfriend, Danielle. Danielle, my cousin Haerin.”
“Nice to meet you,” Danielle gushes, letting go of your hand to hug her. “I’ve heard so many stories about the two of you and your adventures.”
“Don’t trust those stories,” Haerin says. “She probably changed it to make her look better.”
You whip your head around. “What the f-”
Danielle winks. “Don’t worry. I know how much of a loser she is.”
You take a deep breath in and force a smile. You must maintain the jolly Christmas spirit.
Haerin gives Danielle a once over before nodding mysteriously. She then stalks off to who knows where. Danielle looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
You pat her shoulder. “That’s a good sign.”
“That felt surprisingly easy…”
“Oh no,” you laugh. “We’re just getting started. They’re going to try separate us-”
With perfect timing, you hear your name being called before you’re dragged into the kitchen.
“Be a dear and help us with the food,” your mom says kindly. (You know this is a facade.) You accept your fate and place down the cookies before starting to cut the vegetables for the turkey.
You try to keep an eye on Danielle, who’s now putting ornaments on the Christmas tree with your other relatives.
The Christmas tree has been around since you were a baby, and if you look closely, there's pieces at the back that is slightly charred. Haerin pushed you, you tripped on your own feet, crashed into the tree, and it fell into the fireplace. Alarms went off, neighbors left the house in a panic, the firefighters were called… it was bad.
You strain your ears and try to hear what questions your family are asking Danielle right now, and you hope it’s nothing too over-the-top or personal. She seems to be taking it well though. Your aunt keeps bringing you new things to do and speaking loudly in an attempt to distract you.
“First girlfriend, huh?” Your mom nudges you with her shoulder.
“Yeah,” you laugh awkwardly. “I’m so lucky, right?”
“She seems good for you.”
You pause your chopping. “It’s only been five minutes, Mom.”
There’s a gleam in her eyes. “That’s all I need. And you finally have a reason to go outside for once.”
You roll your eyes and continue chopping. Your aunt comes in at one point, and together, the two of them grill you about the details of your relationship. The words fall out of your mouth just as you rehearsed.
It’s around half an hour later when you’re finally reunited. The dinner is delicious, as always, and it all feels so good.
The light squeezes on your arm, resting her hand on your thigh under the table, making sure you get the crunchy potatoes because that’s your favorite — it feels so good.
And none of this is real, but as you listen to Danielle bantering with your family, your feelings start to feel more real.
The realization sets your heart aflame, just like the fireplace once did to the Christmas tree.
You’re leaning on the kitchen counter, nursing a can of Sprite as you watch Danielle squeal over Mario Kart (she just got hit by a red shell).
Haerin joins you. She doesn’t announce her entrance but you can sense her presence.
“No money for you,” you smirk.
“No. I guess not.”
Hell yeah. Your bank account is safe. “What do you think of her?”
“She seems too nice for you.”
You elbow her ribs. “Be nice. It’s Christmas.”
“…I’m happy for you.”
“Oh Haerin,” you muster up a sweet voice and open your arms out for a hug. She grabs a knife and holds it in front of her. Nevermind. You take multiple steps backwards.
The race is over, and Danielle finishes in a whopping seventh place. She turns around and looks for you, and smiles when your gazes lock.
You tilt your head, and she tilts her head back in response.
“I’ll be back,” you slither out of the kitchen. “The girlfriend calls.”
You think you hear Haerin scoff but you’re too busy focusing on Danielle. “Did you need something?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Where’s the bathroom?”
“Oh,” you cough. “Sorry, I’ll show you the way.”
You try not to stumble as you hear someone call out “don’t run off and make out!” Thankfully, Danielle takes it well and isn’t weirded out.
You’re unsure if it’s weird to wait outside, but you do it anyway (from a respectable distance) in case she needs anything. When she’s done with her business, the two of you make your way back to the living room, and your worst nightmare (but also a dream deep down) comes true.
Haerin is standing there, with her stupid mischievous smile and Rudolph’s nose on, holding some DIY fishing rod. At the top of that rod hangs a mistletoe.
“Haerin,” you hiss. “Put that down.”
She closes her eyes and pretends she doesn’t hear you. It’s like everyone’s telepathic, because suddenly everyone has their attention turned to you, and they’re egging you on.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
This cannot be real, you think. This is some skit or a sick joke.
You turn to Danielle awkwardly.
“A cheek kiss will be enough,” you say apologetically. “We don’t have to-”
She cuts you off with a kiss — a chaste one, but it shocks you nonetheless. You can barely hear the cheers of your family over the pounding of your heartbeat.
Haerin eventually brings you back to Earth by smacking your face with the rod, and everyone’s back to doing whatever they’re doing.
“Sorry,” you see Danielle’s worried face as your vision starts to refocus. “Was that too much?”
“No,” you blurt out. “I’m sorry. Because I actually like you but I just realized that twenty minutes ago and I have to tell you now because I don’t want you to think that I’m using you-”
“I know,” she laughs, grabbing your hand to squeeze. “Me too.”
You blink. “Oh. Cool.”
“…So we’re real girlfriends, right?”
“Yes,” she pokes your nose. “We are.”
“Awesome! Because I was going to ask you to be my fake girlfriend again for New Year’s.”
She rolls her eyes and pulls you back to the living room, and you finally understand, for the first time, all the cheesy Christmas songs.
God bless you, Hyein.
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AITA for discussing my friend's sexuality with a completely different friend group?
my best friend of 10 years (we're both 25) told me several months ago they're gray-ace. i'll be completely honest: i think microlabels are stupid and pointless, since they really only describe personal preferences that have nothing to do with sexuality. i'm not interested in debates or discourse, so save your essays.
being friends with them for a decade, i obviously know them extremely well, and i'm positive that they're not gray-ace, they just have a history of dating ugly, toxic people (one of whom i know for a fact pressured them into sex at least once). i'm pretty confident i'm right, since recently they were telling me about a woman they met at a bar, and how upon seeing her immediately wanted to hook up bc she's so sexy. now, i'm not ace but finding strangers sexy and wanting to have sex with them doesn't strike me as ace behavior. especially considering they were only ever luke-warm about sex and attraction when it came to men, and haven't mentioned feeling the same way since they realized they were a lesbian.
i would never ever tell them what i really think. this is their journey to make, i'll see them on the other side. i'm also not going to share my opinion with any of our mutual friends, bc our friend group doesn't gossip about each other or talk behind others' backs, and i don't want to put anyone in the position of hearing me vent about how i think our friend is using asexuality to avoid processing their trauma.
all that being said, i'm in a discord server with people who share similar views and beliefs (about most things, not just microlabels lol), none of whom are in any way affiliated with my irl friend group. so i vented to them about this situation, they agreed with me, we made some lighthearted jokes about it. like i said, i'm never going to say anything to my friend, but it feels dishonest to smile and nod when they talk about being gray-ace, then later roll my eyes and laugh about it on discord (for what it's worth, they haven't mentioned being gray-ace since they started dating the woman from the bar).
so, AITA for pretending to believe them, then talking about them in an unrelated discord server?
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When Gojo asks why we won’t just be with him we tell him that he isn’t worth it 😔🫰
He isn’t worth the body or the history… I know a lot of people like to brag about having exes and body’s but that shit is so embarrassing to me 😭 like I feel like a whore because a boy kissed me in like middle school and he was a BOY. Boys are so gross omg-anyway-
Like why would I date you if we’re gonna break up? Get out of my face bro 😔
"....Is that what you became friends with me for? I'm not interested in dating you, Gojo."
Gojo never knew you were the type to reject people like him. He was everything you wanted in a man and he knew it. Money, extroverted, very fine, strong, tall, sexy, intelligent, all of the above. So....why did you say no to his confession? I repeat, HE CONFESSED and you rejected HIM. He couldn't help but accidentally voice his thoughts.
He leans back in surprised and scrunches his eyebrows at your response. "What?" You raise your eyebrows at his answer and continued eating the food he bought you at this expensive cafe that you now loved. ".....What? Never been rejected before?" You laughed at his response and kept eating. He wasn't gonna pressure you into dog shit, he could kiss ass. You did like his qualities. But with how the dating pool is currently, you wouldn't be surprised if he had three bitches lighting his phone up currently. You had zero hope in all men unless they don't use their phones at all and instead told you the worst jokes on planet in hopes of swooning you.
You would rather not date him. He was nice eye candy though. He gains his composure back and leans on the table. "Yeah, I have been, but I felt like we were both interested in each other, you know...?" You nod, understanding what he meant. "Yeah....sorry if it seemed like I was leading you on." He shakes his head, still incredibly butt hurt inside. "No, it's not your fault."
Why did you say no? He wants to ask desperately. Too many questions filled his mind at the possibilities. Were you lesbian and he was too stupid to realize? Was he not your type at all whatsoever? Was he too stuck up like Suguru said? He doesn't know. "Is it okay if I ask what made you say no?"
You shrug and look up in thought. "Well, it's not you, it's just....too much is happening right now. And I mean with everyone. Too many people are love-bombing each other, there's no genuine connection ever, then there's 'situationships', and a looot of people my age don't have patience for long-term relationships and it's just....i feel like- ugh i guess I'll say it. But I feel like you're the perfect person to have all of those qualities. You're very attractive, Satoru, so....I don't know if I'm ready to trust you enough not to put those labels on your head. It's dumb, but yeah. And I do too much with relationships. I put too much time and energy into the person I'm with, and i hate doing that knowing that there are so many people who've just neglected my needs in return. Basically, I love trauma."
Satoru watched you the entire time you spoke, so you found it hard to continue speaking, but you managed to push through. "Fuck them." You roll your eyes and he takes one of your fries, eating them. "I'm serious. I can give you everything you want and need y/n. I wouldn't ask you out if I didn't have a major attraction and connection to you."
You didn't look impressed, but he was determined. "I agree with you. All of the girls I tried to date just wanted me for sex. I know you would treat me better than that. And I would be willing to give you the love and respect you deserve. I get....I don't want to say this, but I get really happy at the thought of being able to provide for you. All I want is you. And it's okay if you don't want me now."
He takes a piece of your cake and eats it without your permission. "I'm willing to wait."
I'm sorry I took forever with this omg. This is the start of many. I might do like 6 more tomorrow. I need sleep.
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Zeno's Paradox // modern!Aemond x reader (2/2)
•Aemond x Reader, Aemond x Floris, Jace x reader•
Summary: You and Aemond instantly clicked when you met at university. So why did he choose Floris instead of you?
TW (overall): afab reader, p in v, oral (f receiving), swearing, talk of violence, talk of losing a body part
Part 1
You and Jace had a plan for every day. Every morning you'd meet up with him at the cafeteria. He'd sit close enough to you that your knees would be touching. Any time you talked your heads would be bent down and close, giving the illusion of wanting to be only with each other and no one else.
It took a few days but finally Aemond and Floris showed up one morning for breakfast. Seeing them hurt your heart. You looked at Jace and nodded.
“Let's go then,” Jace smiled. “I'm gonna say a joke and you're gonna laugh like it's the funniest shit you've ever heard.” He cleared his throat. “What's red and bad for your teeth?”
Oh gods.
“A brick!”
You looked Jace dead in the eye with absolutely no amusement. “Seriously?”
“Just laugh,” he whispered.
As you saw Aemond and Floris get closer you let out the biggest laugh you could muster, without it sounding fake, of course.
“Hahahahahaha!” There was pain in your eyes but you did your best to smile like it was the best joke you’ve ever heard. “Gods, I love your jokes.”
Placing your hand on top of his, you interlaced your fingers just as Aemond and Floris came up to your table.
Aemond looked at your hands then flitted between you and Jace.
“Is he bothering you again?” Aemond asked.
“No, why would you ask that?” You cocked your head to the side and moved closer to Jace.
“Last time we talked to him you were pissed beyond reason.”
“Well, things change. People change, Aemond. And I found myself wanting to get closer. He’s much nicer when you’re not around. He’s been a big help in my Eyes of the Seven class. Right, Jace?”
Jace smiled at you. “Yeah, and you’ve been helping me, too. Studying with you is one of the best moments in my life. And now I can call you mine.”
He leaned in and kissed your cheek. You were watching Aemond closely. His face was neutral but you knew him and his eyes were angry. A muscle in his jaw ticked.
“Well…congrats I guess. I'll see you around,” he ground out.
Aemond tried to leave quickly but you held him right where he was. You weren't going to let him go that easily.
“You're not going to eat breakfast with us? It's a nice morning!” You offered. “Floris? What do you think?”
“Oh, let's eat breakfast with them, Aemy,” Floris pleaded.
Fucking “Aemy?”
Aemond was hesitant. “Fine.”
As the pair went off to get their food you and Jace talked quickly.
“First off,” you started, “that joke was stupid. Second, good call on the kiss. Aemond hated that,” you grinned.
“Hey, that joke was funny!” Jace defended himself. “I saw the way he was looking at you. It's been a long time since I've seen him that pissed. I don't know if Floris could even tell.”
“That just goes to show how much she doesn't know him. She shouldn't be with him, they don't compliment each other.” A beat. “I swear, Aemond hasn't been himself since they started dating.”
“I'll agree that he hasn't, at least the few times I've seen him. He's stuck to Floris’ side.”
“Love that,” you dead panned.
“We're back!” Floris sang.
“Great,” you said through gritted teeth.
“So, tell us how you two started dating!”
Aemond sat down. “Yeah, how did you start dating?”
You looked at Jace and put a loving smile on your face. “He comforted me one night. I was having a really bad day, heard some terrible news, and he found me,” you moved your focus to Aemond. “He was there when no one else was and I'm so thankful for that.”
“We started hanging out more and the rest is history,” Jace pulled you in close and you leaned your head on his shoulder.
There was a tense silence. Aemond stared at you intensely trying to get a read on you. You put up your walls and gave him a shy smile. You nuzzled in closer to Jace.
“Aw, that's so sweet!” Floris broke the silence. “I know Aemy told you how we got together so I won't bore you with our story.”
Our story.
It hurt. It hurt so much. You felt like you were in a fucking Taylor Swift music video.
Jace looked at you and saw your face devoid of color. “You okay, babe?”
You coughed. “Yeah, yeah. Um, I think I just need to get to class. It's getting late, you know?”
“It's only seven forty-five and you haven’t eaten,” Floris tried to get you to stay.
“Yeah, and my class is at eight and I finished eating before you guys got here,” you tried to get away but she stopped you in your tracks.
“Oh, you and Aemond have that class together, right?”
Fuck.
“Yeah, we do, but I was gonna go ahead. He can stay here with you. He doesn't have to come with me.”
“Nonsense! I know you two haven't been able to hang out much since we started dating. He just always wants to be by my side,” Floris laughed and turned to Aemond. “Go on, Aemy.”
Standing there awkwardly you waited for Aemond to get up and join you on the walk to Psychology.
“Hey,” Jace tugged on your hand. “I'll see you after classes, yeah?” he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.
Despite Jace being an asshole to Aemond in their childhood you couldn’t help but find a friend in him, especially now. The dating might be fake but the two of you have grown to care about the other.
“Yeah,” you offered him a small smile.
You turned and left the cafeteria with Aemond but as soon as you were outside you picked up the pace, hoping to lose him. If he really wanted to talk to you he'd catch up. When you thought he wasn't going to even try, you slowed down; believing yourself to be far enough away from him. But you heard his footsteps as you neared the classroom door. He grabbed your arm and turned you to face him.
“Can we talk about this?” he whispered.
You refused to look him in the eye. “What's there to talk about? You're with Floris and I'm with Jace, end of story.”
“Exactly! You're with Jace! Why would you even think of him?”
“Because, like I said, Aemond, he was there for me when no one else was.”
“What about me? Why didn't you come to me.”
“You were busy.”
“How could you know that? I haven't received any text or message from you since Floris and I started dating.”
“I didn't need to text you to know you were busy. I saw you. You and Floris aren't exactly discreet,” you spat out.
Realization hit him. “Are you jealous of Floris?”
“I never said anything about being jealous, I just said I saw you were busy. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take my seat in the classroom.”
“Wait.” He grabbed your arm once more. “There’s nothing serious between me and Floris. We’re just dating.”
“It seemed pretty serious when you were eating her face.”
“You know that doesn’t mean -”
“Are you trying to explain why you haven’t been around me? Because if you are, you’re failing badly.” The anger you’ve been repressing began to bubble up. “Ever since you started dating her you’ve left me. All we do is sit next to each other in class. We don’t talk. You don’t say anything in class anymore, either. You got with Floris and left me, Aemond. You fucking left me.”
You pushed yourself away from him and headed to a different seat, already occupied in front, behind, and next to you. Being next to Aemond would give him more opportunities to talk to you. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you didn't want to hear about how great him and Floris have been.
While you weren’t sitting next to him, you felt his gaze on you the entire time. Even when the professor was talking about Zeno’s Paradox, one of his favorites, he was still focused on you. It was cruel, how Zeno’s Paradox was the main lecture for today. Two points will never be together, there’s too many halfway points to make it. There’s always halfway to go.
You refused to look Aemond’s way. He sat in his usual seat, the one next to him vacant. You hoped it hurt him a bit, not sitting next to you. The entire time he’s been dating Floris you’ve been discarded. It wasn’t even until today, after prompting from Floris, that he talked to you. Maybe he felt guilty for leaving you and didn’t want to see what happened to you as a result. If that were the case, he was being weak.
Class dragged on and on. While there’s infinite halfway points, according to Zeno, it appeared the same for this lecture. You groaned loud enough for the professor to call on you.
“I’m sorry my lecture is boring you. Shall we wake up and play a trivia game?” the professor asked the class.
That woke up the class. Everyone was always willing to play a game rather than listen to a professor drone on and on, despite this professor being a very animated one. Class finished up with everyone playing the game. You tried the same strategy for leaving the room as when you tried to leave the cafeteria earlier. Quickly.
You made it out the door and down the hallway, heading for your dorm instead of your next class. Skipping one class wouldn’t hurt your grade too much. Besides, you really needed to get away from Aemond.
“Hey,” a voice called out.
You picked up the pace.
“Hey!”
You closed your eyes and sped up again. You didn’t want to see him, you didn’t want to talk to him. Once you opened the door to leave the building you sped off into a sprint. Tears were coming and you couldn’t stop them. You couldn’t let Aemond see them, as well. So, you went where you could only think of. Jace’s dorm.
“Wait up! Please! I want to talk!”
You shook your head. So close. You could see Jace leaving his dorm.
“Jace!” you yelled.
Jace looked up to see you running at him full force. He looked confused but when he saw Aemond speed walking behind you, he instantly understood. Opening his arms, you barreled straight into him.
“He’s following me. He wants to talk, Jace, and I don’t know if I can do it.” Tears were streaming down your face now.
“Do you want me to make him go away?”
Do I really want him to go away?
You nodded your head yes. Just for once, you didn’t want to be near Aemond Targaryen.
Jace cupped your face with his hands. “I’m going to kiss you.”
“Okay.”
He leaned down and captured your lips in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t awkward. It was simply nice. When the two of you broke away, you leaned your forehead on his.
“He’s just standing there,” he told you.
You pulled your head away from Jace and looked behind you. Aemond was there, watching you. You were close enough to see his shoulders fall but you could almost see something break inside him.
It was almost the end of the semester and nothing had changed. You and Jace were still “dating” and Aemond and Floris were still together. Floris would try to say hi to you and join you and Jace at meals but Aemond always pulled her away. It was clear he didn’t want anything to do with you.
Maybe it’s for the best.
Both of you were hurting, even though you didn’t know why he was. He should be happy. He was rid of you and had Floris.
“Hey, Jace,” you began. “I don’t think we need to fake date anymore.”
“You sure?” Jace looked at you with concern written all over his face.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m just… I’m tired, you know?” Everything was tiring nowadays. “We leave for winter break next week. There’s no reason to keep it up,” you said mainly to yourself.
“...Okay. If you say so. Should we make a big deal out of breaking up?”
“Nah, I’m not eager for anyone to really care.”
“You mean you’re not eager for Aemond to care.”
You pinned him with a sharp look. “Shut up.”
“Look, as much as I’ve enjoyed pissing him off, it’s obviously doing something more to both of you. I know you and I didn’t get off on the best foot but I do care about you, as a friend, you know.” Jace took a breath. “Why don’t you talk to him?”
“It hurts. It hurts too much.”
Jace gave you a small smile. “You can do it. If anything, you can wait until after winter break; start new, you know?”
“Yeah, I like that idea.” You returned his smile with one of your own. “Thank you, Jace, really.”
You ended the semester without saying so much as goodbye to Aemond. You left quickly and quietly. Winter break wasn’t anything to be excited about. It was nice to be with family but that was it. Some old friends visited and they were able to help take your mind off of Aemond but he was always there. No matter what you did, all you could think about was Aemond. You wondered what Aemond was doing on his break. Was he with Floris? Was he with family?
You still cried frequently. You’ve been crying on and off since Aemond chased you and you ran to Jace. The tears should’ve stopped by now but they haven’t. It’s gotten to the point where you expected yourself to cry almost every night. It was normal now. At least the second semester would be a new start.
Spring semester began and you hoped to turn over a new leaf. You found Jace after you moved in.
“Hey, stranger,” you greeted him.
“You look a lot better than when I last saw you.” He pulled you into a hug.
“I feel a lot better. New semester, new me, right?”
“If that’s what you need to tell yourself, yeah.”
The two of you continued talking, catching up on the month and a half you were away from each other. Jace spent his break with his family, his whole family, including his adoptive dad. Apparently his family was a little confusing as well. His mom had an affair with a coworker and she got pregnant with Jace, but it was all okay. The guy she had Jace, and her two other children, with died in a tragic fire but her husband was quick to adopt and love them all the same.
You and Jace decided to eat dinner at the cafeteria, as sad as the food could be. Joking around and laughing, you were having a great time. Until he showed up. Jace was in the middle of telling a story about Luke and Joffrey when he stopped mid sentence.
“Jace? What’s wrong?” You were confused.
Someone cleared their throat behind you. You turned around and froze. It was him. Aemond Targaryen.
“Hey, can we talk?” Aemond looked directly at you.
You glanced at Jace and he gave you a reassuring nod. “Yeah, sure.”
You stood, urging Aemond to follow you to a spot against the wall.
“So..” you started.
“I broke up with her,” the words flew out of his mouth.
“You - what?”
“I broke up with Floris. You were right, I was pulling away from you because of her and I didn’t like that. She never tried to get me away from you, she wanted me to still be friends with you, but I found myself being scared of that for some reason. Instead, I plastered myself next to her. I found, I don’t know, some kind of structure when I was with her? Order? It was nice but it wasn’t as nice when I was hanging out with you.”
“And how did… Floris,” you still hated to say her name, “take it?”
“She said it was okay, surprisingly.”
“And now?”
“And now I want to be with you. I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. I left you when I shouldn't have. Being scared of being close to you is no excuse for how I treated you,” he sighed. “And I want you, I really want you. All of you.”
“How do I know you're not going to leave me? I don't know if I could take you leaving me again.”
“You'll just have to trust me.”
“Trust you? Trust you with my heart?”
“Yes. And I will cherish it and take of you and I will always be by your side. Please.”
“...I'll think about it.” You had already made up your mind but he didn't need to know that right now.
“Well, what about you and Jace?”
“Me and Jace? We’re fine. We broke up, too. No bad feelings between us, just figured we’d be better as friends,” you shrugged. You weren’t going to tell him it was all fake.
Yet.
There was a comfortable silence.
“Have you thought about it?”
“Maybe you should ask me properly so you can get the full answer” you teased.
“Let me start over then,” he cleared his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”
“You already did but sure, go ahead.”
There was a twinkle in his eye. “Will you go out with me?”
You put a hand up. “You just told me you broke up with someone, found out I broke up with someone and you immediately want to fall into a new relationship?”
“Would it be new though? There was something between us when we first met.”
“Yeah, and then you went off to date someone else.” You rolled your eyes.
“I messed up, I know that now.” He took your hand. “Give me a chance, please?”
“Wow, I don’t know. I kind of like it when you beg. Do it again and maybe I’ll say yes.”
Aemond smirked and got down on his knees. “Please, go out with me?”
“I like the sight of you on your knees.” You leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Maybe I’ll ask you to do it again when we’re in my dorm.”
He looked up at you with hope on his face. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes. Yes, Aemond, I will go out with you.”
A smile broke out when he stood up and gathered you in his arms.
“May I kiss you?” he pulled away slightly to see your face.
“I’d be a little upset if you didn’t.”
You met him halfway, leaning up to capture his mouth with yours. It was soft but there was so much emotion poured into it. It was just like what you thought it would be. His mouth moved seamlessly against yours; it was pure bliss. Aemond’s hand went around your waist to pull you closer but was stopped by someone whistling and clapping.
You broke away from the kiss, leaning forward to rub the tip of your nose with his. You looked around for the source of the whistle.
There he was, Jace standing up and clapping. “Whew! You did it! Now get a room!”
You laughed and pulled Aemond away, taking him to your dorm building. As soon as you arrived at your door, you pulled him in for another kiss, this one a little harder than the first. Somehow you got your key into the lock and let yourself fall into your room. Aemond kicked the door closed without breaking away from you.
“I have to tell you something,” you said between kisses.
“Whatever it is, it can wait. I want these clothes off you so I can get back down on my knees.”
“Fucking hell, Aemond, when you put it like - fuck.”
Aemond ran a hand up your body and cupped your breast. You arched into his touch.
“There we go,” he praised you. “It’s just you and me.”
You whimpered when he snuck both his hands under your shirt to take it off.
“No bra? What a bad girl,” he smirked as he leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth.
“Oh, fuck, Aemond. That feels good.”
“Mhm,” he hummed against you.
You backed your way to your bed and he gladly followed, briefly letting go to take his shirt off as well. Leaning back on the bed you admired his body. Aemond was toned and had a happy trail that certainly made you happy. You rose up on your knees and brought him back down in a searing kiss.
“I want all of you,” he murmured against your lips.
A hand traveled down to your core over your shorts where he gently pressed it against you. Once again, you found yourself arching into his touch.
“So responsive,” he chuckled. “I bet you’re fucking wet. Is that right?” He drew circles over your shorts before diving under them.
“Aemond,” you moaned.
“Hm?”
“I want you to touch me.”
“Baby, I am touching you. I even sucked on your nipples. You want more?”
“Yes, please.”
He brought his mouth back to your tits, sucking on one nipple while his other hand ripped your shorts.
“No panties, either? Tsk, tsk, tsk, you’re really a bad girl.” He dipped his fingers into your core. “I was right, you’re fucking soaked.”
Aemond pumped you full with his fingers. You couldn’t help but moan and find a rhythm with him. When he took his fingers out you frowned. He brought them to your mouth.
“Suck,” he commanded.
You did as he said, tasting yourself on him. You released his fingers with an obscene pop.
“Now it’s time for me to eat that pussy of yours. Spread your legs wide, baby.”
You immediately did what you were told. The air was cold against your core but Aemond was quick to remedy that. He kissed his way up your thighs, never really going where you wanted him.
“Aemond, please,” you begged.
You felt his smile against your thigh.
“Don’t be such a tease - oh!”
His tongue flicked your clit and pleasure surged through your body. He ate you like a man starved. When he stuck one finger in you, you moaned; when he added a second and third, you arched into him; when he found that special spot inside you, you screamed.
Aemond was quick to cover your mouth with his hand and lifted his head up briefly. “Quiet, baby, we don’t want to get caught, do we? Or maybe the thought of that excites you.”
He went back to your drenched pussy, licking and sucking everything he could.
“Fucking hell, Aemond. Please, I need you inside me!”
“As you wish,” he said against your thigh.
He gave you one last kiss before slipping off his pants and underwear.
Fuck, he’s big.
Your eyes widened at his size and your mouth watered. You wanted, no, needed him inside you.
“I have an IUD, so don’t worry if you come inside me,” you told him.
“Oh, now I’m excited.” He gave you a wicked grin.
Aemond lined himself up with you and rubbed his cock against your slit. Fuck, it felt so good. He slowly pushed himself into you. It was pure bliss. He was so big but you took him in.
“There we go. What a good girl,” he praised. “You feel so fucking good.”
All you could do was nod. You didn’t trust yourself to form coherent words.
He started pumping into you, picking up the pace when you matched a rhythm with him. Aemond leaned forward, holding himself just above you, and pressed his forehead against yours.
“Fuck, this feels so right. You were made for me.”
After a few more thrusts he pulled out of you and you whined.
“On your hands and knees, baby. I want that ass in the air.”
You turned over on your stomach and shook your ass for him. When he slapped it a moan slipped out.
“You like it when I spank you? I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” He rubbed the spot he smacked you and then kissed it.
“You have such a beautiful ass. Fuck, and your pussy. All for me.”
As he sank his cock deep into you, you almost screamed. This angle was so much better, you could feel all of him. You rocked back to meet him with each thrust. Aemond’s breathing was becoming ragged and you could feel yourself near your peak. He brought a hand around to play with a nipple.
“Touch your clit for me,” he ordered.
You were quick to do as he said. It brought you closer to your orgasm and it felt so damn good.
“Aemond, you’re gonna make me come!”
“Hold onto it baby, I want you to come with me.”
He started rutting against you hard, each thrust becoming more and more erratic. You never let up on rubbing your clit. You were squeezing him hard. You knew you were close. You knew he was close.
“Fuck, fuck, baby. Come with me,” he almost begged.
“FUCK!” you came hard squeezing his cock as he spilled himself inside you.
Aemond collapsed on top of you, breathing hard. For a few minutes the two of you just lay there together in pure bliss. He kissed your cheek before sliding himself out of you and rolling over to the side.
“So, how do you like dating me so far?” he asked.
“Oh, shut up, asshole.” You playfully swatted him.
“Come on,” he got off the bed and held out a hand for you. “Let’s shower so we can sleep.”
“Together? Already?” You gasped dramatically.
“Yes.” He pinched you when you stood up and took his hand.
As you started up the shower, Aemond came up and hugged you from behind. “You said earlier you needed to tell me something?”
“Oh, yeah, that. Please don’t get mad at me,” you laughed.
He gave you a skeptical look.
“Jace and I were never dating. It was all fake. I did it to piss you off.”
Aemond buried his head in your neck. “You can be such a snake,” he chuckled. “But I’m glad it was fake. I hated the thought of you being with him.”
“And now I’m yours.” You kissed his cheek.
“And now you’re mine.” He stepped away and pulled you into the shower.
“Promise me you won’t leave me again?” you asked after a few moments under the water.
“Never again, I promise.”
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Loving the Zach stuff so far!!!
Could you maybe do something where yn hates his guts, but he is like in love with her and all her sass?? Then they're forced to go on some school trip together or something, and she realizes she likes him and a cute angry love confession, perhaps???
Danke 🫶🏼💐
Thank You, History Class
Pairing: Zach MacLaren x Reader
Warnings: N/A
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.2K
Masterlist
Y/N and Zach have been running in the same friend group since Freshman year, but it doesn’t mean they necessarily get along. Well, it doesn’t mean that she likes him. His sarcasm and puppy dog vibe annoys her cool and distant personality. He’s always asking her how her day is going and trying to make her laugh with his stupid jokes. Zach, on the other hand, fell for her grumpy soul the moment he set eyes on her. Unlike most people, who don’t bother looking deeper into her personality, Zach could see the soft side that she held within and never let anyone see. He would always catch how she would stand up from her bus seat when she saw an elderly person. She wouldn’t let people around her know it was the reason, but she always did. He saw the little bowl of milk she left outside her house for a cat mother and her kittens. Finally, he saw how sweet she was to children whenever they were around her.
Zach didn’t want to take a history class and he certainly didn’t feel like going on a field trip to a museum. It all felt very high school to him. The only upside about it: Y/N is also taking the same class. When he saw that he needed a history credit to graduate, he definitely didn’t go looking for what classes she was taking this semester to try and be in the same one. The cost was giving Jason access to his bathroom whenever he wanted, but it was worth it. He knows the field trip isn’t mandatory for any marks, yet he knows Y/N is going to be there. As he heads toward the Victorian house, he finds Y/N out front waiting for the professor to show up. Her clothing consists of black and brown colours as usual. Her hair was held back by a shiny black claw clip.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he grins, coming to stand beside her. She gives him a side eye, “Could you be more cliche? Try something more original, would ya? I still can’t believe you are taking this class.” He doesn’t let her sour mood dampen his energy. “Come on, you know you like having me with you in this class. The only other people in this class are girls who have a romanticized view of the era, or guys, who have a history stick so far up their ass that they think a history degree will take them far in life,” he notes, turning to look at her. She looks him dead in the eyes, “I’m a history major. And I am neither of those things.” “I know, that’s because you are so much better than them. You are far too smart for them,” he flatters. She shakes her head, turning her attention to the professor who has just arrived, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” The professor leads them into the museum and begins his lecture. After ten minutes of listening to the man speak, both Y/N and Zach realized that coming was a big waste of time. He doesn’t know what he is talking about and Zach can hear Y/N constantly correcting the older man under her breath.
He leans toward her, making sure his lips are close to her ear. “Wanna go on our own little tour? This man is getting half of this stuff wrong.” She thinks she has lost her mind because this must be the first thing Zach has said that she thought was a good idea. “That actually sounds kind of fun. They have a Victorian fashion exhibit I want to see, but I don’t think Professor Robo over there is going to take us to,” she whispers back. Her hand finds his and she hates to admit she likes the warmth of his in hers. They round the stairs to the exhibit. She looks delighted when she spots the first mannequin with clothes. Her feet find their way beside a girl about six years old, already looking at the dress. The child’s eyes find Y/N’s face and they smile at each other. “You know, this is an 1843 Evening dress. The bodice, the thing around the chest, is low off the shoulders. And they have lots of other skirts underneath to make it poofy,” Y/N softly explains to the little girl.
They spent around thirty minutes in the small room. Y/N walks around with Willow and Zach, explaining each outfit to them. She is surprised that Zach seemed honestly engaged with what she was saying and would ask thoughtful questions. Eventually, Willow’s mother, an employee, came looking for her and took the girl to lunch. “Do you want to head to lunch?” she asks. He shakes his head, “Actually, I was hoping we could look at the Victorian sports exhibit. I brought some snacks, so if you are hungry, we can share.” He pulls out a bag of cucumbers shaped like hearts. She has to giggle at the sight because big jock Zach MacLaren likes to have his vegetable cut into shapes.
“What?” he questions in fake offence, holding out the Ziploc to her. She shakes her head with a chuckle, “Nothing, just surprised your cucumbers look like an inaccurate depiction of a human organ.” “They make them taste better. Try,” he says with a shrug. He hands her a slice and listens to the sweet crunch of her biting into the vegetable. “Okay… I must admit it is more fun to eat it like a heart. I can pretend I’m a witch eating people’s hearts,” she agrees. He doesn’t look disturbed by her macabre comments, instead, he pretends to be ripping out his heart as he hands her another slice. She enjoys him playing with her deadly thoughts.
They spent about an hour looking at the different displays, eating his snacks and taking turns reading the display’s blurbs to each other. As they stand on the steps of the museum, Y/N towers over him from the step above. He looks up at her like she hangs the stars in the sky. “I hate to admit that you made this day pretty fun,” she confides. Her hands find their way behind her back, biting her lip as she looks into his eyes. His mouth turns into a crescent moon, “I’m really glad I did. I like spending time with you.” She takes a moment to think and moves her head away in frustration. Not at him, but at the turmoil inside her mind. Why is his charming smile suddenly getting to her? Why does she want to step into his warmth and let his arms bring her in? “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m falling for you, MacLaren. So… would you want to go to dinner? Like on a date,” she confesses with a hint of annoyance in her tone that is just normally there. She is disgusted by the excitement that crosses his face. He gets off the steps, running around the green grass in front of the building. He jumps every so often with a little whoop let out as he does so.
He rushes back to her, grabbing her around her waist and spinning her around. She finds the sound of her giggles odd but enjoys it nonetheless. “Way to keep a poker face,” she sasses, looking down at him. He doesn’t care though all he wants is a chance to be with her.
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia
#the other zoey#zach maclaren#zach maclaren x reader#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey one shot#drew starkey fanfiction
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Headcanons of Nathan sharing happy childhood experiences with his bandmates because they all have shitty childhoods and he loves tolerates them.
Nathan pours warm laundry on Toki when he's in his room. Toki is so happy when he does this because it's always so warm and everything smells so nice, and Nathan is saying stuff like, "Are you all warm now, little buddy?" and it makes him feel giddy. Also very regression coded.
When Murderface is suffering from nightmares, Nathan will touch his face and glide over the ridges and contours of his facial features to lull him back to sleep. Murderface always acts like it won't help but the affectionate touch always knocks him out in seconds. It's a very private thing that happens between them and Murderface doesn't like the idea of people knowing and making fun of him.
When swimming, Nathan will pick up his band mates and throw them as far as he can. Pickles will usually get the most distant being smaller than everyone, but Toki will ask for it the most. He also plays other games like Sharks and Minos, Colors, and Marco Polo. He will judge the others diving board jumps, play ring toss, and time races. He'll ask them to perform handstands, which Skwisgaar is exceptional at, and do flips in the water. Afterwards, they all get naps in their chairs because swimming knocks them all out.
Nathan will remind Skwisgaar to put lotion on his hands after practice because the strings dry out his skin. If he doesn't do it, he'll put it on himself, which usually includes him pulling on his fingers, pressing into his palm, and rotating his wrists. Skwisgaar never says anything about them but he will admit that his hands feel better when he does that. Nathan will also remind Murderface to put on his eczema cream and will put it on him when he tries to fight him about it.
Nathan is the reason that the other band members like Disney so much. He was the OG Disney adult of the group and had to basically bribe them to go to Disney. He planned the whole thing, showed them hidden Mickeys, taught them how to use the Fast Lanes, told them specific history of the rides and even some notorious bad visitor stories. He made sure they got good seats for the parades and the fireworks, and even let Toki climb his shoulders for a better view. He would have picked up Pickles but he was content standing next to him. He made them fall in love with going to Disney because his parents did the same thing for him.
He regularly has "sleepovers" with Pickles. Usually held in his own room, Nathan will go all out and rent a movie, get popcorn and candy, get into his nice PJs, bring out comic books and soda and all the stuff that he used to do while at a sleep over. They would build a fort and drink and smoke while watching "Transformers" and make bad commentary about the movie like they were on "Mystery Science Theater 3000." They would then fall asleep with the lights still on at around 3am because they were too busy laughing and giggling at each other from the exhaustion to actually fall asleep.
When Mordhaus (apartment) got storms, he would calm down Toki and Skwisgaar by teaching them all of the old sayings of what thunderstorms, lightening, and thunder are. "Thunder is just god going bowling and getting a strike." "When you hear lightening, that's because god sneezed." And he would teach them how to calculate how far away the lightening is by counting the seconds between a lightening flash and the sound of thunder. They would still be a little shaken up, especially Toki, so he would try to keep them as calm as possible.
Nathan has a secret language that only him and other bandmates know. It's incredibly stupid and easy enough to decipher, but its the fact that they have it that makes it special. Sometimes they use it during meetings to talk to each other without others understanding them. They'll tell jokes, talk trash, or just say nonsense cause they can. Over time they forgot about it but by that point it didn't matter because they've been friends for so long that they naturally created their own language with English.
#metalocalypse#toki wartooth#skwisgaar skwigelf#william murderface#nathan explosion#pickles the drummer#metalocalypse headcanons#dethklok
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my biggest problem with hazbin hotel writing after everything
guys do you notice how badly vivzie doesn't want to directly mention the theme of morality?
its always there, it flashes everywhere but she chooses to walk on edges. the redemption, extermination, falling in hell, god we literally have hell vs heaven war with these themes. and after everything the question "is this the right thing to do?" just exists like small stream of wind.
never in the show charlie asks herself "is my redemption plan is right?" she should know that there are very bad people who can also badly hurt others because she is there for a long. but this knowledge never brings up and we have to accept the fact that charlie is just an infantile and too stupid to comprehend evilness despite also knowing what good means. its really weird how the princess of hell who should already know the hellish history and society acts like she for the first saw someone like valentino being evil. SHE DIDNT LIVE FOR LONG IN HEAVEN (what could explain the blindness towards evil nature), SHE LIVED FOR LONG IN HELL, FUCKING HELL. how after many years she cant deal with the evilness of her people and instead just believe in a power of friendship? WHERE SHE WAS SO SHELTERED TO GET THIS MINDSET IN THE END?
its very weird how every theme that is revelant in this show, is literally connected with defining good vs evil BUT vivzie never, never makes us think about that. we just should accept the writing telling us what happened is good or bad, or even worse, doesn't matter and it was just for funnies (like that rpe joke with Sir Pentious).
the reason why this morality thing got in my mind is that im afraid what season 2 brings to us. im afraid that they will never mention elephant in the room: possibly irredeemable people. and hearing another doubtful information makes me scared that viv goes to the route "actually, there is no evil people and it just fault of some metaphoric disease that makes people evil!". and im very afraid of this happening in the future because it seems to be that everyone just ignores the existence of Irredeemableness. like doing evil doesnt really matter and there is just winners/losers side of history.
for some reason Sir Pentious in the past got in hell because of him ignoring the situation. let me mention he is the first to be ascended of all sinners and this backstory makes him pitiful for a reason. of all backstories, they chose the most depressing one. where he is a shut-in who had no will to change the inevitable situation. bro do not tell me you didnt do this to make another point of "innocent sinners"
emily. if not for emily, i wouldn't writing this. she is the angel version of charlie who also promotes "sinners deserve redemption" but also ignores existence of serial killers, rpists and another kinds of "that evil" people. the same problem charlie has but i can understand it at least.
I am not scared for saying this. viv seems to be not mature enough to even explore the concept of her show if she is afraid of exploring complete monsters (like exploring undoubtable evil AND NOT MAKING IT CONTROVERSIAL LIKE WITH VALENTINO AND ANGEL) and just stays on the line "of pure good (every main character) and wrongful revenge (VVVs, Adam, Lute and other exorcists, not gonna be surprised of Lilith adding to this group)".
of all characters, i only feel sympathy for lute (and also sir pentious with how he was handled throughout the show). sera was just stupid and wanted bloodshed because of her special placement in an angelic hierarchy. i dont believe this bullshit of her caring about well-being of her people when she went with extermination as it was nothing. all she should have said is that there are very horrible people and hell is not worth of being a threat to her lovely power. well, they didn't go for this route for some reason. now sera got in wrong too and she got in the first group with everyone.
TELL ME
TELL ME WHY NO ONE STILL POINTS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AND WE JUST ACCEPT THAT HELL IS JUST MISUNDERSTOOD
This is why I only care about Lute now because she is the only who has brain to acknowledge that there's monsters in hell
im so done with this show bro
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Finally someone who dislikes Hellhammer lol I feel like CRAZY when talking with other people about Mayhem and they all love him so so so much! It's just insane. He has a massive ego and is a shitty person with shitty opinions but somehow he gets a pass. Also sometime ago I read an interview where he was asked if he misses Pelle/Øystein and if in his opinion there would be a place for them in Mayhem as of now and he said that he does not miss them at all (besides, he laughed at Øystein's mother at the phone when he learned about his death he just pisses me off so bad ong) but he was also like. No there is no place for them at all because we changed a lot and it was good for Mayhem that they are gone. THE SHEER AUDACITY IS INSANE! Did he forget so casually WHO FOUNDED MAYHEM and gave him a place in there? Who was influential in the early BM scene? Please. Mayhem is not even all this great stuff atp, when Øystein had hold of the group, it was all... unique in its own way, very atmospheric, he got the gist. Don't even get me started on that hag of Necrobutcher. The only person that speaks kindly of Øystein is Attila. Also, Mayhem should have ended with Øystein's death in my opinion. Pure madness
I was never fond of Jan, to be honest.
I can definitely recognize his talent as a drummer. He is, in fact, one of the best of not the best drummer in Black Metal history. But this is the only good thing about him because his personality is very insufferable.
It's not just the overly inflated ego that he displays, but he comes across as a 'bully' somehow. I won't judge him by his interests in drugs and drinking because he wanted to have fun, live the rock and roll life, whatever, but I can't overlook how Øystein complained about him messing up gigs because he was too intoxicated to play, or how he neglected their rehearsals. He seems very careless, very insensitive, and overall very untrustworthy.
What pissed me the most was the way that (I suspect) he treated Pelle while he was alive. Pelle wasn't shy to call Jan a 'fat, stupid drummer' in one of his letters, expressing how he preferred Faust (if I remember correctly) in the band instead. Now, the impression that this comment gives me is that Jan must've done something to piss Pelle off. Maybe something repeatedly, like unsavory jokes. Because, for me, Pelle's insult seems very sincere and personal. I am very sure that there are things that must've happened (arguments and stuff) that we will never know about, and all we can do is to try to fill the gaps with speculations about what really happened within the band. This is why I feel like Jan has 'bully' traits.
Another important aspect that bothers me to no end is how Jan was, in fact, the last person who saw and talked with Pelle. You can tell from the way he explained the incident he seemed very cold and detached about it. Pelle seemed 'happier' than ever before, telling him about his knife while he knew what Pelle could do shows how disinterested he was in his friend's well-being. And I get it that everybody was young and dumb and no one had the resources to help Pelle, but it's common sense to ask 'Hey, what are you going to do with that knife?'. Even Jørn had more common sense than this man, but I digress.
Another interesting thing about Jan is how Varg talked about him. Him and Fenriz (and Faust) are the only ones who he doesn't consider 'rats'. I get it that Jan was an extreme-right sympathizer, and that drove Varg to talk more nicely about him, but I believe that apart from their common political affinity, their personality are quite similar. It's not just a say that 'dark personalities attract one another', it's actually true. Jan seems to have some empathy issues, in my opinion, and it's very common for people in cluster B to use substances or alcohol to either numb their feelings or to 'feel something'.
I'm not insinuating anything, I'm just laying some interesting facts and observations that I have.
And then, of course, he said the worst thing possible for the sake of publicity. He said that he was in the room while Pelle took his own life, which is an aberration. But he can tell anything to the fans, right? He's alive to 'tell the story', right?
And him laughing in the phone about Øystein's death is yet another indicator that he might have some real issues with empathy.
I believe him when he says he doesn't miss Pelle or Øystein because they probably mean too little for him, but he likes talking about his dead bandmates, doesn't he?
I don't like him for these reasons and many more.
It is unfortunate and infuriating how these people talk anything but the truth nowadays and they get to pass with a lot of obvious lies just because they're famous.
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