#but once again YOURE TELLING ME WAYNE TECH IS IN ARROWVERSE AND KATE KANE WAS THERE AND MENTIONED BRUCE BUT WE CANT GET A ROBBIE AMELL BRUCE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cwdcshows · 5 years

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Batwoman - S1 E10 - "How Queer is Everything Today"

I'm not usually a fan of recaps at the start of an episode, but after more than a month since the last one, this is a rare instance where the refresher didn't hurt. I swear I don't remember them actually giving "Mouse" a villain name. Are they really going with "Skin Pirate"? I mean, aside from the fact that he basically seems to be a callback to "False Face" from the 60s Batman series; "Skin Pirate"..... I don't know... sounds lame for a villain name.

I had re-watch this train save a couple of times to really process what they're trying to do here; especially since I wasn't looking for a split second and thought there was only one grapple line coming off the bike and they were trying to suggest that the bike was somehow had enough braking power to stop a train in its own right, which obviously shouldn't work. Then it became clear that she had fired a rear grapple as an anchor that was actually doing most of the work stopping the train - but that the grapple was just hooking to one of the embedded ties on the track.... I know they've had Batman stop runaway trains in different iterations, but he at was at least using the Batmobile - which, first off, why the hell doesn't Kate have access to the Batmobile? But more importantly, while there are some pretty far fetched things that go on in the Arrowverse, the idea that the grappling hook could hook onto one of those ties when there's hardly anything for it to snag is unbelievable; to suggest that it stayed snagged and that it was secure enough and the grappling line was strong enough to withstand the force of stopping a fucking train moving at full speed seems downright ludicrous. Whatever the grappling line is made of, it seems more like to snap; never mind the absurdly short stopping distance or the force that stopping so suddenly would have on the train or the people on board. I might be wrong, but it seems like stopping it that way would risk derailing. You might say that that's better than crashing, but arguably neither are very good scenarios. Oh, for fuck sake. So the cable does give out, but only after the train has completely stopped; at which point the tension on the cable should start to slack, shouldn't it? If it was going to unsnag and whip forward, it should only do that while the train is exerting any forward momentum in excess of the strength of cable and its hold on whatever its anchoring to. But we saw the train come to a stop, inches from crashing naturally; and presumably the end of the line isn't on a hill that would cause the train to roll forward in lieu of functioning brakes. Augh.... To be honest, I read about the how this episode opened with an incident that lead to Gotham gossiping about Batwoman and this "Chris Evans-esque cop"; and consequently I'm a little spoiled by how this "story" ends. I'm long over the Vesper Fairchild voice overs, they're obnoxious and unnecessary. And serious, "Chris Evans vibe"? More like a young Gary Busey, or a Ken doll who's been granted his wish to be made a "real boy", but maybe that's just me. "A train lost it's brakes and I saved 450 people from smashing into a concrete wall. And all people care about is Batwoman's sex life." Yeah, people suck. So wait, Kate and Luke go to investigate the train while they're still cops around - with phony credentials, because you know, fuck secret identities - but then while they're on the train, i.e. he active crime scene, there ceases to be any indication that anyone else is around; not even after Kate finds an easy to access box that turns the lights off in the car.... Sure, whatever. And sure, turning off the lights does happen to help them identify what they're looking for - but how the fuck did Kate know that? How was turning off the light supposed to help them in anyway? Oh, for a second I thought this was a smart villain, who used the device on the train to tap into the devices of the people closest to it upon discovery - which for Batwoman and her version of Alfred could have been a very bad thing. But instead it just turns out that this is going to be your run of the mill villain computer super-genius who can conveniently hack into all the devices in the city; which may still present a risk of exposure for Kate and Luke, but they're still just two people in a sea of millions and gleaning information that might reveal anything useful about them remains a monumental task. Hmmm....is there really no.... I don't know, lower-tech way of maintain communication between Luke and Kate when she's in field? I get wanting to avoid a potential hack of the Batcave, but it seems super dangerous to have some means for her to call for support if she needed it. Surely there'd be something that wasn't "networked". I honestly don't know what to think about Kate's concerns over the whole "Slam Bradley" thing - on the one hand, yeah, representation matter, but on the other hand, fucking super hacker threatening the city. Maybe wait to worry about the former until addressing the latter? You can have courage and still prioritize. And not for nothing, but Luke did have a point about misdirect; and Kate even says it herself "their image of me is not me" - I know how this story ends, and it's not the wrong decision, especially because it means breaking down assumptions and being a good role model, but they do kind of gloss over the fact 'their image of me is not me' is kind of the crux of a good secret identity. I don't think there's uniformity for school bell tones these days, now that many schools no longer use actual bells, but are we to believe that there is only one fucking school in all of fucking Gotham that this particular bell could be used at? Gotham is a huge metropolitan city that is meant to rival New York - or possibly even be New York in the DCU - I looked it up and there are 542 public high schools in New York City. And that's a number that surprised the fuck out of me, I expected it to be up there, but I never imagined it to be over 500. But that goes to show often these shows tend to downplay the scope and size of these cities, particularly Gotham, that are supposed to be immense, only to be shown as rather a smaller large city. They did this before in an earlier episode where they made a big deal about an outdoor movie event; as if Gotham were some sort of small, close-knit community and it made no sense. Commercial aside - that moment you get distracted and don't immediately notice that the program went to commercial and all you hear is a woman exclaiming, "that is such a large load" and it takes a second after turning back to the tv to register that it's a Tide commercial... (sigh) So Kate's bright idea was to just literally drop into a fucking high school dance and ask who the hacker is? And she expected, what, for her to say, "here I am!"? Come on, what the fuck; once again, how the fuck does Kate know that making everything else go dark will help her fucking find anything. And for that matter, how the fuck does that help her find anything? If her....whatever....knocked out the power to the lights and devices and everything, why would the hacker's equipment be immune? (sigh)..... Again, I knew how the story thread of Kate wanting to out Batwoman's sexuality would play out; so I knew the decision would be motivated by a closeted teen she would meet, but seriously, it's the hack and that is her reason for cyber-terrorizing the fucking city? Those are arguably terrible circumstances to live under, but you can't use that to try to justify holding a fucking city hostage or endangering the lives of, according to Kate earlier, 450 people that were on that train. Whether she actually had control and would have stopped it or not is beside the point; to say nothing of the fact that she escalated to exponentially more serious crimes after that. And we're supposed to feel sorry for her because she thinks Batwoman was probably popular in high school and "famous" now? How the fuck did Alice figure out who the hacker was? Wait, did whoever write the first part of this episode just like, stop half-way through and someone else took over without reading what happened earlier in the episode? Alice attacks the hacker, Kate attacks Alice. Alice knocks Kate out, along with the hacker and tells her that the bat will join them later. Cut to the next scene and Alice tells her that she's looking for Batwoman, because the other students tagged her in a bunch of photos - but you just fucking saw her? Why knock her out and go to the shop room, if you just want to have this confrontation with Kate? And all to get Kate to take off her mask.... What, Kate is actually prominently known in this city of millions? Why? I mean, yeah, her cousin is rich and her dad was pretty prominent, but were we given much reason to think that Kate was like, a local celebrity? And why is a national publication like the Advocate spotlighting Kate, who has been in business for what, a month, maybe two? Oh, yeah, train full of hundreds of people, fuck em'; but it's that she got snippy with Kate Kane that she regrets..... So, Kate's actually a billionaire. I mean, I'm not necessarily surprised, and it was clear the Kane family was well off, but I honestly don't think they properly established that they were "Bruce Wayne-rich". They're obviously going to walk back this outing by the end of the episode; at this point I don't know why they even bother with these kinds of fake outs. What the fuck kind of cuffs did Kate just shoot from her hands? And seriously, if it ain't broke, don't fix it; it'd be one thing to develop cuffs that were harder to escape from, but what the fuck would be the point in developing a cuff that saves you like what, a whole fucking second to put them on compared to normal handcuffs? "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss" Fuck you. Oh, and the dumb-ass cop tries to kiss her.... Fuck you more, writers, fuck you to he ends of the earth and back.... So what, did the hacker (I don't care what her name is) only send Alice and Kate specifically the message outing Kate and the rest got the message about the bomb? Wait, they showed that the kids at the dance got a message too; yet they didn't seem to be trying to evacuate in response to a bomb threat until after the cops showed up.... Augh.... they're going to fucking make the hacker her side-kick, aren't they? Because you know, hijacking a train, threatening live, trying to extort and entire fucking city....childish hi-jinx..... The writing for this episode is atrocious. Luke walks into the cave talking about Kate achieving cover-girl status and fallout, and it's only because I read about how this storyline plays out and saw the "cover" in question that I know what the fuck he's talking about. I honestly skipped back to see if I missed them showing the cover for a few second and nope; anyone watching this for the first time without spoilers wouldn't have a clue what's happening in this scene.... So.....what the fuck are they going to try and do here? For a second I was going to ponder if the Crisis reboot meant that Beth had a twin who became Alice, but then I remembered that Kate and Beth are twins (I think. Right? Just fraternal, rather than identical.) And it's still possible that Beth could be retconned as having an identical twin and they're all triplets. According to the preview though, it's not just Kate who's thrown by this other Beth; so that scenario seems less likely. This would suggest that "Alice" could turn out not to be Beth at all, which has always been a distinctly possibility; especially since everybody was hip to the idea way too easy and early in the season. But that doesn't explain the casual way that "Beth" strolled into Kate's office, talking about being abroad as if she wasn't supposed to have been missing for the last 14 years (14, right? It's been a long break since non-Crisis episodes...). This becomes way too much of a cluster fuck to untangle if they try to legitimately make "Beth" out to truly be Beth; especially if Crisis has somehow shifted anything.

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