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doberbutts · 5 years ago

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Okay so this is going to get long and more than a little bit tmi but it’s a post summing up some strides I’ve made regarding my own transgender journey and I wanted a place to talk about it and maybe help some BabyTrans figure themselves out along the way so I’m putting it under the cut but it’ll go here >:V

Anyway long story short my insurance settlement from my car accident finally figured itself out and I found myself suddenly $30k richer and immediately spent about $10k of that digging myself out of a very deep debt hole I’ve been wallowing in for a while so now I have some actual financial stability plus have some money to throw at some things that would probably make my life a bit better.

And since I have the money to throw at some things, I bought myself a few new binders and also a packer. Binders because my old one was literally disintegrating- part of that is my fault, washing binders in an industrial machine on high heat plus throwing it in the dryer means your binder falls apart faster than it should. Remember I’m from the very end of Ye Olden Days of transmasc products, which means previously most binders lasted a year at most. My binder made it 2.5 years before giving up and becoming a sports bra instead. I’ve learned from my mistakes and treat my binder(s) much more gently now, plus I have more than one so I can rotate them out and not wear the same binder 8-12 hours daily for 2.5 years and kill it doing exactly the same shit.

For reference sake, I’m 5′10′’, 180lbs, 36C bust, and fit a XL from gc2b. Which is who I bought both my previous binder and my current set from. They are low cost, lightweight, well made, and LGBT-owned and operated which makes me super into buying from them instead of some of the other companies offering something similar.

Being that I am biracial and finding something my skintone is always somewhat... interesting... I followed the internet’s suggestion and went with PeeCock for the packer. I’d bought a zip binder from them a few years ago and actually found that to be the most comfortable binder I’ve ever used in the history of ever, but I will say the durability of zip binders is low compared to pull-over binders in my experience, as the zipper exploded one day when I bent down to pick up a small dropped item. I’d had the binder and was rotating its use with my pullover gc2b for about 6 months when this happened, and was in public when I went from flat chested to big uncontained tiddies in the span of seconds. Not great. I’ve been told that probably means it was a little too small for me, but PeeCock is a company based in Singapore, and their sizes like most East Asian clothing do run quite a bit small (I was a XXL in PeeCock sizes when I wore a size L gc2b binder) so there’s not really a lot of wiggle room for me to go up in size. Additionally their sizing taps out at XXXL so anyone who’s bigger than me in the chest/torso is a bit out of luck for their binders. A shame, because that zip binder was so comfortable I fell asleep in it forgetting I even had it on more than once.

Anyway. Since I did like that binder even though we had the wardrobe mishap, and the internet had pretty good reviews on the PeeCock packers because they are multifunctional and actually make correct skin tones for black dudes, I got one. Since money wasn’t an issue I did get the most recent model which was not cheap (~$300) and so far I like it a lot. I got so used to wearing it that when I take it off to clean it, it actually really bothers me. The weight of it is... comforting, in a way.

HOWEVER I did see a bunch of reviews about how I would be super likely to pee on myself the first time using it and then used it and went “wow I don’t have any idea what you guys are talking about this is easy” aaaaand... then peed on myself by accident. Gotta control your stream or things are going to overflow and you’re going to be really sad. And wet. And stinky. Thankfully I had the forethought to practice at home before actually doing this at work/public restrooms but be warned. Being that this is my first one I can’t say if this is common with all packers however I told several of my transmasc friends that do pack and use STP about this experience and they all assured me they did the exact same thing on and off for the first couple weeks and most of them do not have the same brand. We’ve yet to have a repeat at least?

Plus there’s a little attachment rod so I can use it for sexy times with the boyf and also feel what I’m doing to him so there’s that too. 10/10 A+ experience would recommend. The packaging warns you to be careful how you pack because of the way the silicone works, and your partner cannot be on top or ride you, so keep that in mind if you’re considering it. Cleaning is pretty straightforward however and packing feels correct and natural as long as you follow a few rules:

I’ve discovered that whatever size you consider a perfect fit? Unless you like really relaxed fit for your pants, you’ll need to go a size up. I wear tighter clothing and usually skinny jeans at that, and my exact perfect size has been 34/32 for some time now. When packing I need to go up to 36/32 because otherwise wow that crotch is way too tight. I can’t sit down in one of my pairs of jeans and I’m legit sad about it. I also can’t have anything in the pockets of a different pair of jeans or else I have the same tight crotch problem. I went up a size in underwear and that was more comfortable, so I ordered new pants from online and I’ll see if that helps as much as I’m expecting it too.

Speaking of underwear, ymmv, but I genuinely did not expect this. Jockstraps? Super comfy, super durable, and super convenient. Additionally unlike boxers or even briefs, I don’t need a special packing-specific design to be comfortable in one. I never wore one before and honestly this doesn’t even feel like wearing underwear. They’re really just a banana hammock anyway so that’s probably a large part of it, but honestly I would definitely recommend trying them if you haven’t yet. I do have a few pairs of packing briefs and boxers, as well as normal briefs and boxers, and I’ve been alternating between the various types of undies to see which ones I prefer, but I already know my decision so I bought several because I can. One word of advice, though... if your pants ride down understand that your entire butt will be out. I don’t wear low rise pants because they draw too much attention to my waistline and make me super dysphoric, but those that do, watch out.

Jockmail is highly rated and multiple transmasc websites recommend them for packing and I can absolutely see why. Usually the waistband of my underwear irritates my skin and so I was dubious because Jockmail stuff- being that it’s for athletic wear- has a minimum waistband of about 2in... but it’s actually more comfortable and less irritating, rather than the other way around. They also have briefs, boxers (more like short shorts), and boxer briefs, which I also have of the same brand, but... not as comfy. Once again Jockmail is a Hong Kong company so like all East Asian clothes, they run small. I’m a M in most men’s clothing sizes... I am XXL in Jockmail. I also had purchased a brief harness from PeeCock (goes by inches for waist) as well. (Also where I discovered you need to go a size up- I bought a 34in waist brief from PeeCock and it’s a tad tight. I bought a 36in waist brief from Jockmail and it’s perfect. I have been buying 34in waist things for the past few years now- I didn’t suddenly gain 2 inches at the waist, I did suddenly gain a need for a deeper crotch)

If you look down your body from above it will be super obvious that there is a dick there and you will go “oh god I look like I have an erection”. I have been reliably informed that it is actually not true and if you pack correctly a bulge will be there but not so obvious that it looks like you have a raging hardon the whole time. Better to look in the mirror, rather than down your tummy.

(Additionally I voiced my doubts to my boyf who immediately reminded me that most people don’t spend their time staring at someone’s crotch and as long as I wasn’t constantly messing with mine, no one was likely to notice even if I did have an obnoxiously obvious bulge. He then gave me some tips on how to let it hang if I wanted a “natural” look, and when we walked around while I had it on he made sure to check in on my mental health. He’s cute y’all.)

Some (cis) guys will have a specific leg they like to let things hang against. Some switch it up. Some are okay with it hanging straight down provided there’s not a lot of squish happening. Find what feel comfortable and needs the least amount of adjustment for you, and then stick with that. For me, I’ve found straight down or off to the left feels better- a friend of mine prefers off to the right, another straight down only, etc. Also can depend on the size- some (cis) guys I know are a bit smaller down below and are more comfortable with straight down than those with larger weiners.

If you pack you probably need to shave. I was very uncomfortable until I shaved. Now I feel much better packing. So trim that jungle or else you might feel a pinch every few minutes when a hair gets pulled.

And there you have me this morning before I got dressed. As you can see, both fit very nicely. I’m not particularly happy with my stomach or feminine hip set but eh, I cover those with layers and no one bats an eye.

At this point it’s figuring out the whole hormones thing, yelling at my insurance to cover certain surgeries, and... fixing some minor details with my wardrobe... and I’m feeling way more confident than I was a few years ago.

Anyway if anyone has questions feel free to hit me up

#text post #shut up jazi

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firetrucksandflowers-blog · 7 years ago

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Reese Burns’s Character Sheet:

Because he’s so OBSCURE and I needed to get to know him more.

GENERAL:

Full Name: Reese Burns

Meaning: Reese- “The name Reese is a Welsh baby name. In Welsh the meaning of the name Reese is: Ardent; fiery.” This suits him very well, I think. Ardent meaning enthusiastic and passionate, similar to fiery, which he is, about a great deal of things, just not on the outside. Also fiery because lmao he’s a firetruck.

Burns- “Scottish and northern English: topographic name for someone who lived by a stream or streams, from the Middle English nominative plural or genitive singular of burn (see Bourne). Scottish: variant of Burnhouse, habitational name from a place named with burn 'stream' + house 'house'.” Well, I chose burns because haha l o l he’s a firetruck, too, but I think the meaning is so ironic, which also kinda fits. In the movie Red always has his water hose, and firefighters put out fires, so the whole Burns meaning place by water fits as well.

Title: Mr.

Signature: His signature wouldn’t be very big or extravagant. Very simple and plain. All the letters are written out and there to see. It’s only just slightly slanted. Uppercase first letters while the rest are lowercase and the uppercase is larger than the rest of the letters. The letters aren’t short and stubby but they also aren’t tall and skinny, just somewhere in between. It doesn’t take up the whole space provided, just starts from the beginning and ends with a good amount of space at the end.

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: 30

Birthday: July 7th, 1987

Sign: Cancer

Birthplace: Newcastle, England

Current Residence: Swynlake, England.

Immediate Family:

Mother- 56: Hannah Marie Burns (Geena Davis)

Father-Deceased: Martin Lucas Burns (Kurt Russell, bc I think I’m hilarious obviously.)

Eldest Sister- 35: Olivia Burns (Alexandra Breckenridge)

Middle Sister - 33: Daneel Burns (Holliday Grainger)

Distant Family:

Grandfather, Mother’s Father-Deceased: Michael Jonathan Lewis

Grandmother, Mother’s Mother - 89: Julia Beth Lewis

Grandfather, Father’s Father-Deceased: Blake Mitchell Burns

Grandmother, Father’s Mother-Deceased: Nora Burns

Aunt, Mother’s Younger Sister: Haley Miranda Lewis

Species: Human

Ethnicity: English, German, and Norwegian.

Preferred Hand: Left

Eye Color: I’m sad because he has them big brown eyes but Chris Pratt’s are those weird different colors at one time changy ones and you know what SOMETIMES they LOOK BROWN so. I’m EMO about it okay, I spent a million years looking for the right face claim doNT MAKE ME REGRET MY DECISIONS

Hair Color: Brown, but in the right lighting it’s auburn.

Height: 6 ft. 2in. Or 188cm

Shoe Size: 12.5 (UK)/13 (US)

Health: Well off

Organ Donor?: Yes.

Driver’s License?: Yes. He’s very passive, so thank your stars he isn’t licensed to drive the truck. (Not that if he DID drive it he would let anyone get between him and getting to the fire. I’m just sayin he’s too nice and wouldn’t be fit for the job tbh.) Stops for too long, uses his blinkers, goes the speed limitations. He doesn’t mind driving, since his counterpart is a flipping car, he’s good at it. He just makes sure he’s doing right by the other people on the road because car fires are the WORST.

Allergies: None

Grooming: Well kept, except when he just comes out of the garden or work. Got that patchy beard thing going on because when he shaves he literally looks like a sixteen year old in the face. Not that I guess he cares...wow okay so we’ll say his beard comes and goes in waves. Mostly well kept hair. Wears deodorant. And his cologne is nice, subtle, nothing too flashy because he does not peacock. But no one likes to get a whiff of those over the top ones. It’s warm and just all around pleasant.

Posture: Not particularly upright, but he doesn’t slouch over. His shoulders are usually forwards instead of pulled back because it’s a little bit if protection from the outside if his shoulders are more inwards. If that. Makes any sense. He likes to use the backs of chairs when he’s sitting. At the computer he’s hunched over though. Doing the typical, hand holding up his head by resting his chin on it, leaning forwards look.

Gait: He can be fast when he needs to be. Most of the time he goes an adamant speed. Tries to stay out of other people’s way.

Habits and Mannerisms: He worries his lower lip between his teeth a lot. Rubbing his cheek. Clasps his hands behind his back. Rocks on his feet.

Scent: Most of the time he smells of the outdoors or like a campfire. But if it’s been a good day he just smells subtly of the earth and his soap/cologne.

Expressiveness: His face is very expressive and hides little to nothing of what he’s feeling. I think, due to his inability to communicate via auditory language his body subconsciously tries to make for it. Hence why Chris Pratt’s face is kinda perfect for him, even tho he’s so smiley. (this is the part where mary tries to dignify her choice in fc to herself) He is VERY expressive in the face and it morphs and moves and tells the person speaking to him exactly what’s going on inside his head, even if he doesn’t know he’s doing it or if he can’t say it. And Chris Pratt has a very expressive face when he wants to. I shall just have to scavenge the happy go lucky for the sad and recluse arrgghh.

PERSONALITY PROFILE

1. People don't behave the same way all the time. In fact, they generally have a mask for every social group -- friends, family, business. Sometimes they have a different mask for different groups of friends. How does your character act around different people? How does their personality shift and change?

Reese generally is always himself. At all times. Mostly because he never got the total socialization to behave differently around someone else. The only time he has a total change of pace with his actions are when he is outspoken. This rarely happens outside of his family gatherings or when he’s on the job. When he is on the job he is louder and larger than life because you can’t go into a burning building silently and you can’t expect others to understand you by just looking at them through the gas mask. MOST of the time he’s a quiet little wall flower, though.

2. Your character has been brought to a party and promptly ditched. They don't have a ride back home. How does this work? How comfortable are they around all of these strangers? Do they interact?

SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE. He would never go to something with that many people unless he was guilt tripped or someone he really cared about asked him to go with them. He doesn’t do well around that many people since he doesn’t have the experience and just isn’t equipped for the over stimulation. Reese would probably bounce out as soon as he realized the person he came with left him high and dry. Unless he knows he was supposed to be the DD, then he would go outside and wait by the car for however long it took for the party to diminish. OR he would walk around making sure everyone was doing okay and that there were no fire hazards. Besides the amount of people.

3. It's kind of awkward - what subjects are likely to make your character hesitate, flush, stumble on their words, etc.?

Anything? Really? He gets flustered talking about anything with anyone. Of course sex and love and all that stuff makes him blush a shade so red it looks as if he’s got rose petals coating him from the tips of his ears down to his neck and chest. A lot of things, man, he’s a shy little thing who is never not hesitant and stumbling over his words.

4. Is your character more dominant or submissive to the people around them? Do they tend to follow others' orders and wait for people to give them instruction in life, or do they charge ahead and make decisions on their own?

This really depends on the situation! As I feel this always does with people. In a crisis situation he’s been trained to not panic, to be calm, whereas most people are freaking the hell out. Reese is the one telling them to take a steady breath and what to do next. When he’s working he’s the leader, when there’s a fire going on he will take charge. But on any other situation he would be submissive. He can’t really say no because it just seems so much easier to say yes and do whatever it is that needs to get done, done.

5. What happens when your character doesn't get what they want?

Reese doesn’t want much of anything really. But, I guess if people’s happiness gets taken away or if his flowers don’t come in on time or someone has trampled through them he cries. If he doesn’t get what he wants he cries and runs.

6. What's the character's self-esteem like? It’s okay, not the best.

Hoo, hoooooo, hoooooooo. Okay, so since Reese has never found his voice amongst the crowd, he’s never really found himself. BUT THE THING IS HE HAS. In the garden and in the fire station. He just hasn’t realized it because of all those years of getting beat down or ignored. His self esteem wanes and waxes throughout every situation. As he grows more comfortable with people it rises and his personality and humor comes out to shine in the sunlight. As he works in the garden or gets put on a call, his confidence is unmoving and he’s honestly a little intimidating to come up against. Then, when all that is done, and he’s in the grocery store or walking home from work, he recedes back into himself. Closes the door and locks everything away for no one to see.

7. What's one flaw about themselves that they hate the most and wish they could change?

One???? Hahahha. Well. Reese here doesn’t really like much of anything about himself. He wishes he could talk! To! People! Everyone always seems to have such interesting opinions and experiences and dear lord, he wishes to be apart of those things. Most of the time, since he has the patience of ten thousand saints put together, he doesn’t mind just being alone with himself. But being shy and scared gets in the way of so many things. He just wants to be able to talk to someone without them asking why he’s so quiet or someone just moving along from him because he can’t give them the words they need.

8. How does their personality shift when someone gets to know them well?

I don’t know and neither does he because he’s never had that experience. No one has ever sat down and taken the time to get to know who he is outside of his sisters and mom. But they saw him grow up and forced everything out of him from the moment he was able to speak. He’s use to them by now. But everyone else just deemed his shell too hard to crack open, not wanting to take up their time to see what was inside when everywhere else people had themselves open for display because that’s much easier.

9. Do they prefer time alone, or with other people?

Time alone. Out in the garden. On a run, working out. Reading. He’s had a lot of time being alone. He doesn’t mind it at all. People are scary, enormous giants to him.

10. Is it easy for this character to tell someone "no" when they don't want to do something?

Nope. Reese is the yes man of the century. Mostly because he hates the face people give him if he says no. He did it like, twice when he was a kid. If he did it any time after people would probably shrug and say ‘Oh! No problem then!’ but he’s too scared to say it ever since then. So he doesn’t. To him it’s easier to say yes and do it and make them happy.

11. If this character were to describe their own personality, how would they do it?

He would agree that he’s quiet. But that’s preeeetty much it. He doesn’t think on himself at all.

12. Is this character aware of their flaws?

Yeah. He himself gets frustrated with his inability to communicate to the ‘norms.’

13. How has this character's personality changed from childhood to adulthood?

As a kid I think Reese was a little more outgoing and confident, as all children are before they see the real world for the shitty place that it is. He was always quiet, but as the time went on and as kids started picking on him more and more, he went radio silent. He was probably more talkative as a kid, but as he got older he stopped talking. And he’s observant and has a job that deals with people a lot so he isn’t totally socially inept, but he’s just too shy to start anything on his own.

14. Who influenced this character's personality? Did they pick up any mannerisms or traits from someone?

His sisters and mother since they always talked for him, a lot of the older people in his life who always said how him being quiet was a good thing. And then of course his tormentors. His kindness came from his Grandmother, though. The sense to see that people are so much more and have so much more going on came from her talking to him about humanity. Lots of women influenced him, obviously. They showed him that his emotions were okay to have, but the kids at school kicked him in the shins for showing them off.

But his smile is his dad’s.

15. Does this character express affection? Are they comfortable doing so?

Y E S. Okay, so this is kind of a weird phenomenon with Reese. Since he is so shy and avoids confrontation it’s odd for him to be okay with expressing affection, right? Right. But he does it. He gives the warmest hugs and would love to hold someone’s hands or press a forehead kiss to someone. He would be super careful about personal boundaries, though, too scared of running someone off. So on one hand he would LOVE to do things like that for someone but on the other hand he would wait to see if they gave him permission to do those things.

16. When frightened, will the character "fight" or "flight"?

DEPENDS. Is it a fire? He’s the first one coming after it. Anything else? He’s running away in tears.

17. Does this character ever put someone else's needs in front of their own? All the time. Every waking moment. He puts his life on the line for people's health and well being. His own is put in a box in the back of the closet. He would give up anything for someone else. Hell, he would probably die for a tree or if it meant the Earth to be okay.

18. If this character suffered amnesia and lost all their memories, what would they be like?

W O W, what a QUESTION because he seriously is the way he is because of his surroundings. Everything he is is because of someone else, or because of an event that happen to him. Besides his love for the Earth and plants? He would be talkative for one thing. I think his gentle and nice nature would stay with him, because those are just deep rooted in his core, but probably a bit more lively.

19. How does the character's living space reflect their personality?

Hmm, I think just like him it’s very muted but with small personal touches. Also like him it’s warm, cozy, and like a home. Blankets and pillows are all around and soft. So like, everything has a purpose or meaning and isn’t just for show. Also there are plants all over the place. Reese isn’t all that clean or organized, but he isn’t a complete slob either.

20. What's one thing that other characters wish they could change about this character's personality?

For him to speak his mind, probably. To not be a pushover?

EMOTIONAL PROFILE

1. How easy is it for your character to feel anger? What's usually a good tip off that they're experiencing it? (Physical reactions, movements of appendages, etc.)

Anger is one of the hardest emotions to pull from Reese because he is so gentle and light to the touch. But if he is angry it’s probably out of trying to protect something or becoming super frustrated with someone. The clues to look for are he is talking, and he is very loud. Anger is a strong emotion and one that he doesn’t experience on the daily like most every other one. He would probably yell, but be able to keep enough of himself together to keep from lashing out too harshly? You never know.

a. Sadness?

Very, very, very easy for him to experience. If he gets offended or someone is just talking trash to him he gets sad. Like I’ve been saying he is a crier who doesn’t even think about trying to keep it in. So when he is sad Reese starts crying and probably bolts to the nearest of exits. There are different types of sad cries which are either the loud wracking sobs that he lets loose on his way out or the silent moments he gets to himself when no one is around to see him.

b. Happiness?

I would say it’s pretty easy to make him happy. Show him a picture of a seal looking fat and happy or of a type of flower or just anything remotely good and he’ll brighten. Hell, if someone smiles at him in passing I think it would make him happy for the rest of the day. If it’s the normal everyday he has a small smile on his lips and a lightness to his steps and maybe a little swing in his arms. If it’s a ridiculous amount of happy he, you guessed it, starts crying.

c. Fear?

Easy to feel. Probably every time he sees a fire engulfing someone’s space of living or car or wherever. Also at any loud noises or someone coming at him in too sudden of movements. He would never say or think it, but those years of torment led to fear of getting abused again like that. He can defend himself now since the training to become a firefighter was tough and spit him out with more pounds of muscle, but he doesn’t really know his own strength.

2. What state of mind is the character usually in?

I would say a good one. He doesn’t focus on the bad. He’s very optimistic. Not too busy or too blank either. Reese is able to have something on his mind, like plants or work, without becoming overwhelmed. One thing at a time.

3. Are there any emotions the character is particularly afraid of, or really resents having to feel?

First thing is first, he is very in touch with his emotions. Reese is a soft and squishy human being with his feelings out there on his person all day everyday. And it’s not that he knows them well, it’s just that he feels them and allows them to come and go as they please. So, now the question, is he afraid of feeling any kind of emotion; yes. Love, obviously, because pain is something he hates. Not on himself, but on someone else. And if he were to feel love for someone and somehow have to see them in pain? Because of him? It would probably kill him. It almost killed him to see a tree get cut down in his primary school park and no one really knows if plants can feel pain.

The emotion he resents is fear because that’s what he thinks is keeping him from speaking.

4. How easily does this character trust their feelings with others?

Mmmm, well if someone were to ask he would be open about it. He probably wouldn’t be able to explain it very well to them, and insist that everyone’s interpretations of emotions are different, but if they asked it of him to explain he would let them know.

5. Can this character easily hide their emotions?

PFT NO.

a. Do they find it difficult to express emotion, thus tend to look neutral?

No. :)

6. How well can this character resist their emotions and impulses?

Emotions: Can’t. At all. Impulses: MMM. He’s not very good with understanding what he wants? Besides normal things like sleeping or eating or going out to weed the garden, but other than that? He’s a hard worker, isn’t lazy or really that much of a procrastinator. Sooo, impulses, = non existent or easy to resist.

7. Does this character ever get violent (with others, objects, themselves) when feeling any certain emotions?

No. No way. He would NEVER hurt anyone else….on purpose. Or let harm befall someone else. Especially because of him. Reese is never violent. He knows it causes more harm than good so he stays away from it at all costs. But...if a bug is bothering him when he’s trying to water the plants he’ll go a little overboard with the hose trying to get at it. But he’ll feel bad afterwards.

8. Has this character contemplated suicide? No.

a. Self-harm? No.

b. Physically injuring others? N O

c. Killing others? nooOOOOOoOooooOOOO

9. Does the character have any triggers? Why do these things trigger them?

He doesn’t really realize but bullying. If he sees it he would break down. His first hand experience at being on the other end of the relentless teasing and physical abuse were enough to scar him for a lifetime. But he doesn’t?? Think it was that bad?? If you were to ask him he would say others in the world have it worse and he’s doing okay, so it’s nothing to worry about.

10. What would hurt this character so badly they couldn't even breathe?

I know this is supposed to be a serious question, but lmao, someone killing his plants. It’s easy to hurt him because he’s so soft. So, just stepping on his gardenias would make him a mess.

11. What is guaranteed to make this character smile?

Anything nice. Like, just seeing someone out on the town being happy would make him smile. Or looking out his window to see his garden alive and well would melt him. And, as always, listening to someone talk about something they love/are passionate about. Reese knows people are beautiful through and through and just to see someone with life in their eyes and love on their lips? Inspiring.

12. If the character could remove one emotion from their life, which would they choose?

W O W. Hmm. He wouldn’t know what to say to this question because he knows that without one emotion the others wouldn’t make sense? But maybe fear? To be able to not be scared at all would appeal to him.

13. If they're feeling upset, who are they likely to talk to for comfort? Or do they keep it inside?

He would mostly feel like he’s bothering someone if he wanted to talk to someone while he was upset. But the most likely people he’s going to call are his mother and sisters because they’d get mad at him if he didn’t, and they would find out eventually anyways.

14. How would this character cope with losing someone extremely close to them?

He….wouldn’t. He would cry so much he would exhaust himself. Maybe he could work through it eventually, like a loooooooong eventually, because he’s so in touch with his feelings. But it would devastate him.

15. How does this character look and feel when crying?

WELL, this probably isn’t supposed to be a big question, but for Reese this is a VERY IMPORTANT AND LOADED EXPLANATION.

The Sobbing, Sad Cry: This is the cry where Reese lets it loose and runs away to get far from the source of his woes and back to somewhere he can calm down and be out of the way of other people going about their day. This is the ugly cry, with tears dripping and running and there’s snot on the sleeve of his shirt and sweat because he’s crying that hard. After he has stopped running, and has found his secured place to cry, he curls up, and just cries. It’s ugly and his face is puffy, and he sounds like a baby. And he feels like shit, too, because it feels like he isn’t getting enough air so a little hyperventilation comes into play.

The Quiet Cry: The teary eyed, small amounts of tears cry. He will look upwards in an attempt to keep the tears from falling or just let them fall and not bother to wipe them away. He isn’t loud, he keeps the harsh breathing or reckless whines and whimpers choked in his throat. His eyes get squinty and his face gets red, his bottom lip will wiggle and he’ll try to stop its movements by pulling it between his teeth. Mostly for when he’s like stunned sad or doesn’t want to disturb the surroundings. Like a funeral.

The Angry Cry: Loud and not very proud. Obviously if he’s going to get angry he isn’t going to want to be crying while trying to get through it, or if he’s trying to talk to someone, but he is a crier and crier's cry when they get angry. It’s more subtle than his sad cries because he’ll probably be too wrapped up in anger to notice the wet streaks on his cheeks and dripping from his chin. And if he does, he’ll get even more angry, making a positive feedback loop for himself. His voice will probably get all shaky and broken when he talks.

The Frustrated Cry: Probably the least? Seen? But when his long, longlonglong, line of patience wears out and he can’t take the vast amount of emotion crashing over him, he’ll let it go. He’ll look distraught and mad at himself, and it’s probably best to leave him to his own unless he asks to not be.

The Relieved Cry: One he experiences after a fire or after getting someone out of a fire or seeing a plant come back to life. It’s a little breath and a few missed tears, but it doesn’t take long and it mostly just to let himself have a moment to realize things are going to be okay.

The Happy Cry: He will be laughing or smiling/grinning while tears flow. His hands will be shaky but he’ll be in a really good mood. Ever seen the Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan? Of course you have, don’t lie to yourself, but he gets like Martin when they find out Annie is Hallie. “I’ve never been so happy in my entire life!” But less sobby and more smiley.

The Laugh so Hard Until He Cries Cry: Self explanatory. He becomes a smiley little ball of sunshine.

The Watching a Movie/Tv Cry: There will be a pillow against his chest or a blanket pulled up to his chin and tears. So many tears. And tissues on the coffee table in front of him.

The ‘I didn’t even Realize I was Crying’ Cry: Also self explanatory. He’ll be just standing somewhere, distracted, and just be tearing up.

16. If the character had to live out the rest of their life either perpetually angry, sad, or frightened, which would they choose?

Sad. He’s had enough experience with it. He doesn’t like any of them, but being scared he’s kinda already doing and it’s awful, and to always be angry would be dangerous.

17. Does this character tend to blame or punish others for their own emotions?

Nope. Only himself.

18. Is this character empathetic, and tends to be influenced by the emotions of others?

Yes yes yes. All the time.

19. What is the strongest emotion they have felt?

….a lot, holy shit. So many things because every emotion is strong for him.

PHYSICAL PROFILE

1. Based on the current diet and exercise your character has, where do you see them physically in five years?

The same, maybe fitter? Being a firefighter he tries his best to be in his best physical condition in order to not hinder the people he is trying to help and save. So he feels as though he has to be well off. Who knows, maybe by then he’ll have gotten hurt enough to have to retire early from the firefighting game and be a pudgy guy.

2. How agile is this character? Can they dodge easily? Or are they clumsy?

He’s weirdly agile. Like not graceful at all but he isn’t clumsy. Reese is a force to be reckoned with when he wants to be, you know. So his shoulder can slam into a door the the thing will go down after the first few tries. At the same time he also has a gentleness to him. When he’s touching plants or someone who is hurt he’s very careful. It’s kind of a weird combo, but he pulls it off. It’s a learned control over himself.

3. Describe the muscle content of your character. Are they untrained and soft? Or lithe and powerful?

He was trained into something powerful. He’s a bigger guy, so his body isn’t exactly skinny or lithe. More like an elephant or a rhino. While he doesn’t know the exact limits to his strength he knows he’s fit enough to be doing the job. He pushes himself when working out and stuff to make sure he’s not losing too much muscle in order to be out of his depth when going into a dangerous situation. It also helps when carrying bags of mulch or soil from his car.

4. What kind of body fat percentage do you suppose they have?

Not a lot tbh. Probably some around his middle, but.

5. Do they have any scars? Where did those scars come from, and how did they get them?

Y es. He’s got a scar from when Nathan Peterson’s vengeance seeking friends attacked him. It’s on his left side. One of them had a knife that the others didn’t know about, so when they saw that sticking out of him they all took off because it suddenly got a little too real that he could die or whatever. Thankfully none of them pulled it out when they left, but it did enough damage.

6. Describe some hairstyles your character has had in the past.

His mother probably gave him the buzzed look as a kid because that’s easy? Just shave his hair off, he doesn’t care what he looks like that the moment. Then his sisters got involved and started using him as their life size doll and messed up his hair a lot when he was younger. He never said anything, of course, but the kids at school did. And when he got to secondary they let it do it’s own thing. Mostly he kept it short. Like any other men’s style. Short on the sides, longer on the top.

a. How about the present? What's their hair like now?

Just the regular short hair, a little flippy dippy on the front. It’s kinda curly when he lets it grow out, too.

7. What are their teeth like? Any cavities? Root canals? Does their dentition ever hurt?

Uh, I mean he brushes and flosses twice a day, so they’re pretty well taken care of. Nothing too out of the box with them.

8. Do their arches ever fall? That's painful.

Nope.

9. How much endurance do they have? Do they easily get tired during a workout?

High endurance, he’s gotta to have passed to become a firefighter. Not easily tired out at all. He’s built it up to where he can go for a long time without becoming completely exhausted.

10. How easily can they bear pain?

Very easily. A lot of the time he doesn’t say he’s in pain out loud because he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. One time when a kid managed to break his arm in school by doing the arm around his back and pushing him against a wall he didn’t say anything all day until he got home and his sister saw his ugly looking arm when he took his uniform blazer/shirt off. He’s probably not to woman level of pain tolerance, but he’s pretty up there.

11. How long can this character sit still?

A long time. He is a patient man.

a. Do they shift a lot when sleeping?

Not a lot of the time. He’s mostly stationary throughout the night.

12. What do their nails look like? Do they bite them?

Short and mostly well kept. Has dirt under them a lot of the time, but he cleans them before doing anything else when he comes inside from the garden. He doesn’t bite them, no.

13. How hairy is this character?

I’m WHEEZING, what a QUESTION, I’m sorry Chris Pratt we’re getting personal aren’t we.

a. Arms? Normal??

b. Legs? Normal

c. Underarms? Oh dedarjk, normal

d. Eyebrows? They’re there but they’re no Colin Farrell or Peter Gallagher.

14. What is the most imperfect part of this character's body?

He thinks his hands are too big a lot of the time.

15. Do they get cold easily?

Naah.

a. How about overheated?

Yes. Since he is a little toaster oven in the shape of a human he can get hot very easily. Which means he sweats at the slightest hint of overheating. But it also means that he stays warm very easily.

b. Seasick?

No, he does well with motion. His muse is a car so I feel like he would be okay. Probs fall asleep to it. Be one of those babies his mom put in a car seat and drove around to help him fall asleep that night. Not that he was a problematic baby.

c. Do barometric changes in pressure affect them?

Nah.

16. How do they react to getting an illness? Think about sore throats, achy bodies, headaches, stuffy noses, runny noses...

He ignores them until they get really serious. Most of the time his mom would never know because he ran hot, and she freaked out one too many times, so she just never knew when he was sick because he never said anything. Not until she noticed he sounded stuffy or was blowing his nose, or squinting a lot. On his own he doesn’t do anything until it affects him significantly. But he isn’t a whiny mess on the couch. Just a bundle in bed watching feel good movies and smelling mint he picked on his way in.

17. Is this character's body sensitive to touch?

Wow, OKAY UH, I will say yes, yes he is. He’s really sensitive? Ticklish around the middle. And he stiffens when anyone gets to close to him because besides his family no one has ever touched him with anything but pain so he gets wary in tight spaces. Unless he’s getting someone out of a fire, then there’s layers of his suit to keep him from them. But yeah, besides his calloused hands from work, he’s very sensitive.

18. How strong are this character's basic senses? Sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell.

Hmm, okay so his sense of sight is 20/20 and he doesn’t need any contacts or glasses. His hearing isn’t the best of the best. We discussed touch. Taste is normal, not too strong but not too weak. He’s got a tolerance for extreme heat in food, so if the food JUST came out of the oven he can eat it no problem. Or he’s just weird and enjoys that feeling of burning his tongue and roof of his mouth. His sense of smell has been tested in training to be able to detect a lot of things now, so it has been schooled to be stronger.

19. If this character had to permanently lose one of their senses, which would they choose?

Taste most likely because he needs everything else to help people. See where he’s going, hear people calling for help, feel for heat, and smell for the source of the fires. He’d miss a lot of things, but he thinks he could get along fine without it.

a. What if they could only have one sense, and had to lose the others?

HARD ONE. But touch.

20. Does this character have any unusual limbs or physical features?

Nope.

PREFERENCES AND PEEVES

1. What's the state of your character's kitchen? What kind of foods do you find in it? Is it... clean?

Warm and inviting. He likes to cook. Like a lot. He grows a lot of vegetables and herbs in his garden, probably not a lot of fruit because that takes a while for them to grow besides the ol tomatoes. But he has a lot of fresh and local foods floating around the place. Also a lot of baked goods when he has the time are on platters or at the firestation when he knows he won’t be able to eat them all. It’s clean and only fairly organized. Things are kind of lingering around in drawers and the stacks of plates and bowls aren’t the tidiest, but it isn’t a headache to find things for people who aren’t familiar with the place.

2. If they could only eat one type of food for the rest of their life, what would they choose?

Vegetables? Because they’re easily grown and healthy. As much as he’d miss cake.

3. What kind of clothing does this character wear?

Comfortable things in the casual. Jeans or shorts and plain t-shirts with tennis shoes. Work out clothing for when that’s going on. And then when he needs to get dressed up it’s either his dress uniform, the whole get up, or a more casual looking suit and tie. At work he’s in his uniform. At night just a shirt and his boxers tbh, he gets too hot other wise and he can’t sleep in pajama pants.

And socks?? I feel like he wears socks at all times. Maybe...not to bed but just when he’s around the house he’s gotta be wearing socks.

4. How does this character feel about piercings?

He doesn’t care what other people do with their image at all. It’s their body and if it makes them happy then he’s cool. As long as it isn’t hurting them.

a. Tattoos? Honestly, he admires people who can sit through that. He doesn’t think he could, but he could. But hmm would he get one? Probably not.

b. Dyed hair? You do you.

c. Revealing clothing? As long as they’re happy with their body, he doesn’t care or glance twice.

5. How does this character feel about animals?

He loves animals and they love him. Animals don’t bullshit around and don’t make him feel awkward because they’re genuine for the most part. They can also tell that he has a good soul and is kind. Not to mention he isn’t loud and he doesn’t coo at them like a lot of people. Kind of a mutual understanding thing going on there.

a. Would they want any pets?

UHM YES. Let’s be honest he’s getting the fire station a dalmatian. Or 20. A L S O OMG, wow just had a very cute thought, he wants to be a beekeeper! He’s VERY adamant about the bees ever since he watched a documentary on them. It opened his eyes to all the fat fuzzy things hanging around his flowers. I’m imagining him being timid to go get them, scared he’ll kill them, but at the same time knowing they’ll be good for the flowers and the environment. Will probably never come to fruition because idk how this is gunna go into the rp but I can always headcanon he got them when he retired or something. They aren’t animals, but YOU KNOW WHAT he would love his little bees until the end.

b. What animals are their favorite?

Whales. They’re relatable because they’re so big and yet they’re gentle and beautiful. Okay, maybe he doesn’t think he’s beautiful but whatever. They’re also super fierce when they need to be. He has newsletters about whales in his email. When he was in uni and had a small job at the library he spent a few of his pay checks donating to saving whales. He still does from time to time when it doesn’t go towards the rest of the environment.

6. What type of movie is this character most interested in watching?

Feel good movies. Also romantic movies. He likes being a pile of goop at the end. He cannot do scary movies or super sad movies. The Shawshank Redemption is a good one for him because Andy was wrongfully accused and made the best of his situation. Also Morgan Freeman is bomb. And then he loves You’ve Got Mail and Pride and Prejudice. Hmm, Back to the Future and Ghostbusters, things like that. Nice lovely movies that end with the main character's happy. Worships Julie Andrews.

7. If this character could master a skill instantly, which would they choose?

Social skills lmao.

8. Are there any behaviors that other characters do that irk this character?

Littering! Hurting themselves! Being rude! Blatant disrespect for the Earth! How dare!

a. Does the character ever voice their annoyance?

Only if it’s about defending something/someone that can’t defend itself. Like if some hoe just threw a piece of trash in the air for the wind to take he would snatch it and say, “I think you dropped this.” And then run for the hills.

9. Would this character rather create something or destroy something?

Create. Or rather, help to create. He isn’t completely artistically inclined, so just to help things grow or make food from ingredients is his place.

10. What kind of comedy does this character prefer? Toilet humor, vulgar, slapstick, morbid, etc.

Oddball. Physical humor gives him anxiety to watch, but hearing a good joke of words and set up make him laugh. Also I feel like really stupid jokes would make him laugh. Like all the ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?” ones. Why is a chicken crossing the road? That’s?? Funny in itself. At least to him. Also all the flower jokes.

11. If they could stay at one age forever, which age would they choose and why?

Probably mid 50’s. Still able to move with some sort of ease, but too old to work in his field…...as a…...fireman…., so he can just be someone’s gardener and live in a little home in their backyard. Or like, above their garage. Just a small little job that would make someone happy? Omg, even better, he can be a booth at the local farmers market!! OR be helping the mother effing whales. Wow, yeah, he would love to retire and just do something for the environment. Also no one bothers you all that much when you’re an old man, so that would be, ideal.

12. If the character could only wear clothing of one color, which would they choose?

Gray maybe? Keep it neutral. There are….several shades of it after all.

13. Describe the character's favorite possession. Where did they get it, and why are they so attached?

When he was recovering in the hospital his sisters got him a cactus. It’s alive and well and on his bedroom window sill in Swynlake now. He loves it because his sister’s got it for him and it was the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes. It’s stayed with him for years and years and saw him through that rough patch in his life. But he would never say that. He would say he loves all his plants equally. He just loves that one the best because his sisters were kind enough to think not to get him something that would die next to him in the room like everyone else with their flower arrangements.

14. What is the character's favorite weather?

Rain. Not thunderstorms, because, yeah, he and thunder aren’t friends whatsoever, just a hard rain that comes and goes. One that makes the weather cool down and the plants perk back up. It gives him the opportunity to go outside and not have to sweat gallons and see to the plants while they’re happy. He also likes the smell of the dirt and the flowers when they’re wet. It’s nice and Earthy and just fills him with contentedness he can’t get anywhere else.

15. Do they prefer sweet, salty, sour, meaty, spicy, or neutral tastes?

I think he really likes spicy food and has built up an immune system to it so it isn’t as painful as it once was. Just a nice burn on his tongue. But he also likes soft and sweet, hence his love for baked goods. And smoothies are usually sweet, too.

16. Would they rather sleep in a cold room or a warm one?

Cold! He dies in hot rooms because he has to have a sheet or blanket out of comfort covering him in the night. But in a hot room his body temperature just makes it too bleeh to get comfortable. If he’s in a cold room that means he can snuggle into that one layer and be just the right temperature.

17. Are there any hobbies this character absolutely hates and would never want to do?

Hunting? OoOOO ACTING/PUBLIC SPEAKING that would be the worst thing in the world to him. Having to get in front of a bunch of people and speak? No way.

18. What's the easiest way to annoy this character?

Talk shit about the Earth, get hit. Being stupid with fire.

19. Are their interests and likes socially appropriate?

Yeah. I mean? Maybe people don’t associate 30 year old men being out in the garden crying over how beautiful his peppers are turning out, but he isn’t doing anything super weird or gross. Also cooking is like a fad now. Thank you foodnetwork. (Lowkey he worships Alton Brown, too.)

OTHER

1. What is the character's first memory?

His sisters playing with him in the living area. They were just messing around with some blocks and stuffed animals, building houses for them and giving them lives in this little neighborhood they had come up with. His mom was making dinner but they were all to caught up in their game to pay attention to when they were supposed to go wash their hands or sit at the table. It’s simple and small but it’s the oldest thing he can remember.

2. Has the character ever experienced deja vu? Do you happen to know why?

Mmm, no. Tis a good question, but no he hasn’t.

3. Sensations are powerful things, and often certain scents, sounds, touches, etc. can invoke memories strongly associated with them. Which have imprinted in your character's mind?

Loud noises always bring back when kids would yell at him or when the guys who ganged up on him were laughing at him as he asked them to please, stop. Also the smell of alcohol or weed will always be associated with Nathan and that night with Jules. Then of course fire and smoke just pulls up work.

4. How'd they get along with their parents and/or other relatives?

Really well. He’s such a mama’s boy. Since his dad had died before he got to know him all he had for a parent was his mom and that didn’t hinder him in the slightest. He loves her so much and is so thankful to have had such a wonderful human being to raise him. Reese also gets on very well with his sisters. They’re all really close, even if they aren’t in years. Both of them are married and with kids. Olivia, the eldest, has a wife who adores Reese, and a son who loves his cool uncle who fights fires. And Atty, the middle, has a nice husband who Reese was very cautious of at first, but grew to like. Her two kids, older boy and younger girl, love Reese too.

His mom’s parents loved him and he loved them. He was connected to his grandmother the most since his grandfather died when he was 9. And his mom’s sister spoiled him to end because she never had kids and always wanted a little boy.

5. What's the worst injury they've ever gotten?

Getting stabbed! Woo!

6. How many places has this character lived in?

Four. His home town, his university town, town he trained to become a fireman, and now Swynlake.

7. If the character could erase one memory from their mind, what would it be?

Uhm, probably that night he got jumped. Erase all that fear and pain and just utter helplessness and it would have given him back plenty of sleepless nights. Or all those times he had walked across campus alone, even in the day time, after he came back and not feeling so terrified.

8. What was the character's economic situation?

Comfortable. He isn’t rich but he isn’t struggling. Probably?? Higher middle class since he’s got an established job with benefits and all that jazz. Not to mention he isn’t a big spender on anything at all. He’s doing fine.

9. Describe the character's love life throughout the years.

WOW OKAY. So hmmm…...non existent. Legit. It’s hard to imagine him in any romantic relationship. Haaaaa. Because he doesn’t talk to people? outside his family. He’s never been good at talking to people, so there’s no way he ever approached anyone he thought was attractive. And if anyone were to come to him they would either get bored of him or deem him too much work. Also he’s too awkward for any sexual encounters outside of someone he would fully trust himself with which I’m not so sure anyone would so far in his life? Otherwise he would kind of be out of his shell a little bit, having had someone evoke that from him already. Yeeaah, if he had any kind of relationship like that it would have been with someone close and they would have pushed him to be a little more outspoken. But he’s still a recluse who has never felt that connection. But then on the flip side if he was in a relationship with someone who made his conditions worse I think he would have totally written off human interactions forever, even though he is an optimist who sees the best in people, but he would just make sure no one ever got near him again, because no DOUBT he would blame the ending of the relationship on himself.

WHAT A REVELATION. He’s Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed. I’m dealing with a 30 year old virgin here oh dear. I’m terrible to my characters.

10. How did the family that raised this character influence them?

While they meant well, they always spoke for him, answering questions for him and all that. But it hindered him in being able to speak for himself. But his mother raised him right, to be polite, and his sisters were very protective of their younger brother, they’re also his best friends in life as he is to them.

11. If this character could "unmeet" someone in their life, who would they choose?

NATHAN PETERSON. *timmy turner’s dad dinklebuuurg.*

#about #bio #everyone else's are so good i had to hop onto the car #twas super helpful

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