#but my bf who is also my impulse control said no

[stellamancer]

if there is anything i am weak for it is small jars. especially if they are small jars filled with things.

[kmze]

It was Chad and James who brought back the familiar manipulative side of stefan in 7×07 when he psychologically tortured his mom just to convince her they needed to murder her bf after using his so-called truth even though he knew that truth wouldn't work on her.That's how shrewd Stefan was and those two writers stood out in my mind for that particular season at least because otherwise Stefan was being easily outmanipulated by simple manipulation tricks in others' episodes which seemed deliberate.Chad and James also wrote Stefan laying Calla Lilies at Liz's grave on her death anniversary.I would say it was a thoughtful gesture to, maybe, bring a part of his mom for Caroline's !?!Brett IMO was probably a Damon fanboy but he did write Defan well.Ironically he was the one who wrote Stefan letting Elena die in 3×22.

Yup I loved the murder Thanksgiving episode! I loved how Damon just sat back and watched the master work because Damon knew his brother was the master manipulator, I also loved how it paralleled with 6x19 that Stefan comes up with an elaborate theme to psychologically torture people he loves. I can't remember which panel it was at Epic Cons but someone asked Julie if picking May 10, 1994 for the prison world was because that's the day John Wayne Gacy was executed and he was a prolific serial killer like Kai (and Damon lbr). She said she did not realize the connection until that person mentioned it but said it was probably James and Chad who knew and picked it because they were always big on small details like that so the calla lilies connection coming from them makes sense, although in general calla lilies are used in funeral arrangements. They also wrote 8x03 where Stefan smacked Damon for being a little bitch who couldn't fight Sybil's mind control but Enzo could.

Speaking of Stefan being out-manipulated in S7 this reminds me of how you can see Dries' influence on the writers in how dumb he was in early S7 as opposed to clever again at the end of S7. 7x02 and 7x22 were both written by Brian Young a guy very influenced by who the showrunner was (plus BFF with CD). In 7x02 Stefan is a moron, he lets Damon plan way too much of the rescue Caroline mission even though he knows Damon is a flop (like he already had plan b going when Damon came back from his first failed attempt). Why wouldn't Stefan tell Damon to appease to Enzo since he knew how loyal Enzo was to Damon, and why wouldn't he move faster to rescue Caroline once in the house knowing they were on a time limit? Don't even get me started on the plot contrivance of Stefan flying out the window and Caroline falling down the stairs once Matt was alive even though they were standing right next to each other. Then you get 7x22 where Julie is back and CD is gone and Stefan is out here figuring out Damon's who plan to kidnap Lizzie and Josie on "brotherly intuition" because Stefan knew Damon wasn't going to respect Caroline saying no.

You're right Brett wrote excellent Defan but IDK if I'd say he was a Damon fanboy I think he more-so knew what Damon was, kind of a flop with pretty eyes. Like Damon is an easy character to write because he's pretty one-dimensional IMO; does something impulsive (check), says something snarky (check), blames someone else for his mistakes (check). Brett was also the showrunner for Legacies and I thought the musical episode poked fun at the audience with this. There's a scene where Landon (who wrote the musical) is holding auditions and everyone wants to play Damon because Damon is funny and sexy duh! Then Jed comes in and Landon is like "let me guess Damon" and Jed says no I actually kinda like Stefan, and Landon says "ME TOO!" then they fanboy about how he's the anchor to the whole story. I thought that was throwing shade at the audience who's obsessed with Damon whereas Stefan is a more subtle and nuanced character and not as popular.

I think Stefan letting Elena drown came from Julie but I also do think it was something that was hinted COULD happen throughout S2 and S3 and Paul hated it because it made Stefan look terrible especially in regards to the triangle of doom. Stefan was too consumed by his need to be the good brother who respects Elena's choices that he valued how Elena thought about him over her life! Damon on the other hand would let the world burn if it kept Elena alive, he didn't care if she hated him for eternity as long as she was alive. And Brett wrote Amnesia Stefan being flabbergasted that he would let his girlfriend die in 5x04. Then he co-wrote 7x21 where Stefan flat out mocked that decision saying "because I respected her damn choice she died and I lost her" and he refused to apologize to Caroline for doing it. He didn't care if she hated him as long as she was alive "the thought of you getting hurt, it's not an option I'm willing to entertain."

[wifeyoozi]

Dropping in to add that i also fully consumed smut fanfiction when i was underaged and now im in my early 20s and still a virgin LOL im like the most picky out of all my friends precisely BECAUSE i dont wanna end up in a surface level/physical relationship or even worse a toxic one. If anything im super comfortable with my sexuality (even if its on the freakier side), and i might be the minority here but i feel like being exposed to stuff through fanfics growing up (even dark stuff) let me work out what type of stuff i was into in a safer environment than if i were to, for example, feel compelled to have reckless sex

Ppl acting like teens are incapable of impulse control or smth? Exposure to porn doesn't mean theyre gonna go out and start seducing adults like... ?? Also to tell you what YOU should be comfortable with on YOUR blog is crazy. Calling you a pedo when you literally say your stuff is 18+ but just don't police it is kinda wild, some ppl need to find a hobby i swear

So I consider handsy stuff with my bf as losing virginity but otherwise I am just like you anon. I have learnt through nasty smut of what I am into, what I am not and what I like to read or see about but not to experience myself and it's more helpful than one must think ykwim

Also yes this is the second time my blog has been "policed" first for writing about real idols and second for not strictly guarding my content and i don't get it if you don't like my blog just block me and move on? I have compelled no one to read my blog against their will. Also if minors read my blog despite seeing it's an 18+ one is NOT my problem like what do you expect me to do if not my blog they'll read someone else's 18+ blog. Also I really don't understand the anon who called me a pedo like I am not ATTRACTED to children reading my blog I just said it's not my problem 😭😭 children see porn all the time but it's suddenly a taboo on Tumblr? FUCKN TUMBLR? Also if a teen does go seduce an creepy old man after reading my blog, something is wrong with the kid and the man, not me.

Like girl go work at McD, save time and earn minimum wage instead of bullshitting on someone's asks like ma'am??

[seamistgale]

*digs my lost tags up from the ether* uhhh… what did i have in my drafts….?

Dangerous and equally Volatile bf Dan with his Positive Exposure boyfriend who has Experience with Anger Issues like you wouldn't imagine.

He lets Dick most of the moral heavy-lifting decisions instead of defaulting to violence now, bc the Sudden and Unexpected, but Not Unpleasant Codependance has a chokehold on his emotions and need for positive reinforcement. It's nice not to have to worry about things he doesn't get anymore, yk? Who cares if a couple of cities get leveled? Not him, that's who. Dick would though. He'd be so angry. Dan can deal with angry Nightwing-- he can't quite deal with a disappointed, anguished Dick that's angry at himself up because 'maybe i didnt help you when you needed me' Grayson. It's like Jazz crying for him. because of him. It hurts.

Babs thinks it isn't healthy, and has said so and tried to reason with Dick bc you have to see this can end up terribly, right? Given their history, this situation in particular sounds familiar (Dick butting his head where people don't ask him to.) and they've been here more times than she wants to keep count of.

Dick knows he has his bf on a bit of a 'hey tell me whenever u got The Urges babe' leash, but counters that it's helping?? He might be fumbling a bit in the dark on how to phrase things in a way that a) Appeal to Dan's sense of feelings-driven logic thing he has going on, b) Doesn't come up as manipulative because the intent isnt to, to restrict but help his bf redirect all those extreme impulses into good things. bc he believes in him. He's already used to being a good chunk of the hero community's morale booster, and he'd like to say his own moral compass is usually pretty accurate. With Dan he can roughhouse a little bit. just a little. Apparently playfighting is healthy, and by god does he still have some good old flare ups on that suppressed anger he keeps under wraps a goos 80% of the time.

Meanwhile, Dan lets his bf try to be sneaky, it's funny to let him think this whole 'I can fix him' rabbit hole. It would make him angry usually, but Dick's so sincere about caring for him its just… nice bc it reminds him of the family that got taken away from him amusing instead. yeah, that. He goes along with these silly exercises and gets some dates out of it. Oh hey, is that a hobby he actually enjoys? huh, he thought he wasn't capable of those anymore, but whatever. He's pretending, alright? He knows he's a monster, and you can't just un-fuck a ghost, or something. They're all violent in some way or another, that's how they all are. He mentions as much to Jazz with a shrug, because well, its true.

Jazz, making use of her hard-won professionalism, keeps her lips sealed this time. She prods a little, keeps count, and watches as the two prowl around each other like a couple of cats learning to live together. She thinks they're good for each other; sure, codependency isn't something anything rometely positive on any other health professional standard, but this is a halfa ghost made out of two people, and a vigilante that protects the (second, now?) most crime-infested city in order somehow.

Dan CAN change, he just doesn't want to think about it, won't admit it. It's good that he's letting someone else help with things he can't; with his issues around people leaving him, pushing people away via anger, and control issues surrounding himself, it's a miracle he hears Dick out let alone allow him to sway his decisions. He trusts Dick to help. From her perch, Dan's whipped; but she won't be the one to say it, because she knows he's stubborn enough to try to prove her wrong. Jazz isn't going to put ideas in Dan very talented hands for self-destruction and be a homewrecker.

And Dick…? Jazz doesn't know him as well, and assuming is a pitfall, but she also kinda has to judge him a bit, she's dating one of her baby brothers after all. He sounds like he also has issues dealing with control, but on the other way around; it's not malicious trying to gain control of your life, but whenever that extends to others, people tend to fall on the tin balancing line between trying to be helpful and being overbearing. Dan giving Dick agency over some of his decisions probably soothes that sort of compulsive urges too. They keep each other from being a worse version of themselves, at least-- and on the better end (which is the one she hopes for) they'll probably keep developing routines that keep uplifting each other.

Danny would love to stop being Jazz's soundboard about Dan's love life with (the first robin!!! whoa!!) this Totally Random cop that didn't get the ACAB memo. He's SO ready to make popcorn for the inevitable day Vlad finds out his sort-of son is dating Brucie Wayne's son though; those two get along like oil and water.

(funny prompt)

Dick: Were you serious about becoming the final boss?

Dan: Ha ha. Do you think I'd go along with a sweet deal planned by someone else?

Dick: I don't think you did...

(Not sure if I really understood this prompt, but I had fun lol)

Dan: I would kill for you, Dick. I would tear apart this world and gift it to you on a silver plate with a necklace made of stars and a ring of sunlight. Whatever you want, it’s yours 😊

Dick: … okay. So could I ask you to not take over the world?

Dan: No ☺️ Make a list of who you want to save, I’ll spare those people, but that’s it.

Dick:

Dick: *flattered, horny, and very, very afraid*

[bisluthq]

Experience wise, will a guy know if it’s a girl’s first time?

I mean I’m not a guy lol. When I had penetrative sex for the first time he knew it was my first time because we were 16 lol and like we dated for months before we actually had sex right as is common and it was a Very Big Deal for us as a couple. It was a bigger deal for him imo because as I said previously I was a lil more experienced mostly coz I have poor impulse control so I’d been fingered before we dated (also that same year and I am sure he didn’t know it was my first time someone touching me like that because he was older and then offered to have sex but I bailed on that - less about the sex and more that he was my friend’s brother and I did kinda fancy the guy who became my bf) but yeah I got into a relationship with a Nice Boy and we waited and it was a Thing™️. I will also say that like for me personally, while I think it’s nice I waited and did it with someone I really cared (and continue to care right like you never forget your first love) for, the actual experience was eh. I’d had a really intense workout the day before and was super stiff and sore and like it didn’t feel especially nice to have anyone on top of me that day and the penetration was uncomfortable and like eh. I guess I’m glad I waited because it’s a kinda cute story but I don’t think I’d have been upset if I hadn’t or anything.

I have several friends who did it later in life and never told the guy it was their first time and the guys never knew. Like I say the 19 year old who fingered me didn’t know it was something I’d never done before because I was rolling with it lmao.

If it’s a really big deal for you, idk - tell the guy. If you’re young and worried about it, just tell him. It’s normal. If you’re older and embarrassed and it’s nbd then don’t.

but you keep asking me so I suspect it is a big deal for you and then maybe you’re better off just saying. The guy might not want to go ahead with it if you’re both older but eventually someone will idk.

[kat-trash]

My hometown drama is going off, we have a 7 year relationship that ended, because the gf cheated on her “soulmate” bf with girl that also in the very small local music/alt scene. Later ex gf says it’s basically all his fault because “this girl fed her soul” and she’s “on her growth journey and needs to explore sexually.” It was bad enough that the whole friend group found out via group text from ex gf & then she left the chat asap; like before questions can be asked of her or she can read any response. She ends up leaving presumably now her ex bf to answer everyone’s shocked replies and questions.

Like this might as well be from a soap opera / YA novel because it sounds so fucking fake. Truly nothing gives as good as Phoenix, the shit people pull there like it’s normal adult behavior is criminal.

I waited like a week to call her out for her weird pity me posts, that no one is talking to her, she’s the victim in the situation. Some how she’s the victim because she was stifled in a long term (committed???) relationship and needs to figure herself out. 

1. We would’ve reached out if she didn’t abandon the chat asap.

2. We took that as a clear “I’m not talking about this in more depth” a pretty clear “I don’t wanna talk about it, especially with any of you” I’m not sure what we were intended to glean from the one paragraph of self-centered ranting of her shame that she already definitely already feels.

She commented on my vague call out post (where I mention no details/names/ specific pronouns/identifying info) “what do y’all wanna know?” And deleted it a minute later. Like if could actually ask any questions they might be something like: Why you thought any of this was the correct way to handle things?? Why did you leave him to do damage control with his ~20 friends that saw what you said in our group chat? An apology or literally anything at all besides “I’m the victim! 😭” or “I already hate myself and am disgusting and will live with this for the rest of my life.”

She likely deleted it because people that don’t know anyone involved, said that doing why she did was “disgusting” “shameful” “cowardly” “disappointing” and that I said nothing about her or pointed her out in any way & she realized she put herself on blast.

Girl BFFR you literally lost all but one friend, who is kindly letting you stay with her and she already says living with you is fucking awful, it’s been one week. Her bf bought her a brand new car because she couldn’t hold down a job and needed better transportation, he’s covered their mortgage payments on his own (yes he owns a home, it was a family member’s property before he inherited it) because she kept getting fired from jobs for being late; and she’d spend all her money on new clothes and hair dye because she has to change things up impulsively every week-month timespan.

She lost her house, a car, the vast majority of her friends, and her loving partner because she didn’t want to admit she fell/was falling out of love with her partner. She was the one initially way more into monogamy and the concept of soulmates, he was perfectly fine with having a monogamous relationship with her because he wasn’t that curious about polyamory. They’ve discussed why they’d do if they ever separated, he’d take the spare room or couch and she’d have the main bedroom so she’d have space and privacy. She chose to leave the house and refused anything from him, and now she’s using it as reasons to why he’s treating her poorly.

[asking-jude]

Eyy just stumbled across this blog

Im kind of really having a hard time right now and it’s doing a number on me since it’s pretty much entirely my own fault that situation happened

Im in a relationship and love and care for my boyfriend dearly, yet I’m also in love with my best friend. And I know I’ll be judged harshly for that, rightfully so… but I really just need advice on what to do.

We were friends for years and there were no romantic undertones. But we’ve been sent on a four month work trip abroad together a few months ago. I didn’t see my bf that whole time, I didn’t know anyone but my best friend where we were and we pretty much saw eachother every single day. In the end we came too close and eventually both admitted we had developed feelings.

Though the story doesn’t end there unfortunately. He wants to be a priest and ultimately decided even if I left my partner there couldn’t be more between us. I was kind of relieved he made that decision for me because I genuinely love both and having to choose one over the other would’ve been extremely hurtful.

Even though we decided it shouldn’t lead anywhere we ultimately became intimate and that’s where the problems really started. Obviously we both felt extremely guilty about it, it was a back and forth for a while, changing initiator basically on a daily basis breaking our word over and over again.

Now recently we had a big fight over the whole situation. I told him I didn’t want the back and forth anymore but he insisted he wanted to stay friends, just without the intimacy. He said that multiple times before though and then still initiated it again, though sometimes it was me too. I lashed out and told him right, either we commit to being shit people and continue being intimate (he’ll be gone in a year anyways to start his novitiate) or we just don’t meet anymore at all, since it’s been proven time and time again if we do see each other we can’t let it be (though that’s not really an option since we work together, on the same project even so really not seeing each other would require me to quit my job)…

It basically continued to escalate like that, him accusing me of making him choose between me and god and me accusing him of using me when he’s horny but seeing me only as an evil temptation instead of a friend, being a hypocrite and twisting his morals and beliefs to his needs. In the end he said he doesn’t want that discussion anymore and if I don’t want to be friends anymore so be it, I said that’s not what I wanted but what are we supposed to do if we can’t keep it from happening…

I wrote him a message the next day apologizing for the ultimatum and agreeing that one doesn’t learn self control by just avoiding challenging situations and that I’d be okay to try again and call each other out when one tries to initiate.

He wasn’t having it though and told me he doesn’t have time for that shit anymore… we’ll see each other again at work in a few days and haven’t talked since the fight.

I feel like I’m the most horribly disgusting person on the planet. I hurt my friend who was there in the most difficult times for me. I betrayed my boyfriend who is the most loving and caring partner I could think of. All because I’m an impulsive slut. I don’t know what to do, I’m haunted by nightmares. I thought about telling my boyfriend the whole thing but I can’t even imagine how much it would hurt him. Im in a spiral of self hatred thinking it would probably be best for all of I just fucked off to nowhere or killed myself. So yea any input would be greatly appreciated :(

Hey there,

I appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us. I want to say that I understand how hard this must be for you to deal with. Romantic feelings are tricky and intense, especially when they develop unexpectedly. It’s understandable that your conflicting romantic feelings are causing you so much stress. It’s not unusual for people to go through something like this, especially when put in very vulnerable and intimate situations with other people. 

Before I dive into your ask, I just want to say that if you're have any thoughts of suicide. Please, call your country's suicide hot-line or simply the emergency services. Here's a list of suicide hot-lines for every country: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/.

I see that you’re struggling with feelings of guilt and shame, so before anything, I want to let you know that you don’t have to feel like these thoughts are your fault; it’s not always easy to control our attraction for other people. I also want to tell you that you are not a “disgusting person” or an “impulsive slut." You made a mistake, but that doesn't define who you are as a person. It’s possible to learn from these mistakes and make amends with the people you may feel you’ve wronged.

The first steps in doing this are to acknowledge what has happened and take accountability for the role you played. Being truthful and honest with yourself is crucial in moving forward and finding a resolution that works for you. It's not easy to admit when we've made a mistake, but it's an important step toward making things right. 

If you’re interested, this article and video may help you work on taking accountability in any situation: https://tinyurl.com/mu77bfxx. 

Taking responsibility for your actions and communicating openly about how your intentions were never meant to hurt anyone can help to rebuild trust and repair any damage done. Regarding your boyfriend, telling him about what happened is ultimately up to you. You may be feeling like telling your boyfriend will just hurt him and only cause more pain for the two of you. I want to let you know that while we can’t predict how he’ll respond, being honest with your partner shows him that you are willing to be accountable for your mistakes.

You mentioned that you enjoy being in this relationship, so I would urge you to first consider whether or not you want this relationship to continue. Spend some time alone and think about what you want in a relationship. Can you imagine a future with your boyfriend that you would be happy with regardless of the decision you make about telling him? Do you think not telling him is fair to him? Weigh the potential consequences and decide what is best for you and your relationship. 

It's natural to feel lost and unsure of what to do next. These articles are meant to offer some help to those in situations like yours: https://tinyurl.com/bdv3yykt; https://tinyurl.com/5brvc82c. 

If you do decide to tell your boyfriend, it is important to be honest and direct. Choose a time and place where you can have an honest and private conversation. Be prepared for his reaction, and give him space to process his feelings. Try not to anticipate his response as this will only cause you more stress and may make you want to procrastinate telling him even more. Telling him may allow you to move forward with the relationship, but most importantly, you’ll gain a lot more peace of mind. 

Communication is a key aspect of any healthy relationship, but it's not always easy to do effectively. If you find yourself needing help with communicating, these articles may provide you with some guidance: https://tinyurl.com/bded43sp; https://tinyurl.com/4us49v8r.

As for you and your friend, it definitely sounds like a very difficult situation that you both have found yourselves in. It's understandable that you have developed feelings for each other after spending so much time together, but it's important to consider the impact of continuing any type of relationship with him. It sounds like he has made his decision about his path in life, and it's important to respect that aspect of this situation. It’s great that you’re seeing a silver lining in his religious journey of “making the decision," but remember that you always have a choice about what you want and need in your own life and relationships. He seems to be responding to your attempts to communicate in a way that comes off as dismissive and mean. Most likely,  he is just as conflicted by this situation as you are, but you deserve a friend who can communicate with you respectfully and compassionately. While it's natural for emotions to run high in a situation like this, it's not okay for him to treat you in a way that makes you feel so guilty. Know that the responsibility falls equally on him, as well, and you deserve someone who can work through this with you. Consider whether or not this is someone worth maintaining a relationship with. If you decide to maintain the friendship, consider having a conversation with him about how his behavior has made you feel and setting boundaries for how you want to be treated.

This article provides useful signs to consider when deciding whether to be friends with someone you’ve been in a romantic relationship with: https://tinyurl.com/2p8dydbm. 

This post also offers some very important signs it may be time to end a relationship/friendship with someone: https://socialself.com/blog/when-stop-being-friends/. 

I can only imagine how you must feel to have to work with your friend. I understand that quitting your job may not be an option for you. In this case, you may need to find ways to cope with the situation at work and maintain professional boundaries with him. This could involve minimizing your interactions with him outside of your project and being clear about your expectations for how you want to be treated in the workplace. Do you two work on this project alone or are there other colleagues involved? Reaching out to other coworkers and collaborating with them on the project could help to limit your interactions with him. Do you know when exactly in his future he’d like to start his new career path? If this is something you don’t think you can handle, it may be helpful to review your job’s policies and HR resources if you are feeling uncomfortable in any way. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health in this situation. 

Dealing with such a complex situation can be hard, especially in the workplace. Fortunately, there are resources to help navigate through these situations. These articles offer strategies for dealing with difficult emotions and personal relationships at work: https://tinyurl.com/5n6t75mr; https://www.mindtools.com/amqbd0e/managing-your-emotions-at-work 

If you can, try seeking support from a trusted friend or counselor, as well. This can help to process your feelings about this situation and develop coping strategies. If this is something you’d be interested in, these are great resources for finding therapists in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/couples-counseling; https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Don’t forget we’re always here to help, as well; if you ever need more help, don’t hesitate to reach out again! Asking Jude also provides pay-what-you-want, remote peer counseling; to find out more, e-mail jude@askingjude.org.

I hope I was able to help you out a little more. Always be kind to yourself and remember to take your time before making any important decisions. 

Take care of yourself,

Mikayla

[gatesofember]

more prophetic Will hcs because I can’t stop thinking about it

it took a while for Will to figure out he had prophetic abilities

it made life very confusing for him because sometimes he’d know about something that hadn’t happened yet but he didn’t realize that it hadn’t happened yet

so like he’d go up to someone and start talking about their dog or something but they’d be like “??? I don’t have a dog????” even though Will KNEW they did (they’d get a dog later)

it was very frustrating because Will knew he was right but people around him just assumed he had a bad memory

also his prophetic abilities sometimes looked a lot like his adhd symptoms so for a long time he and the people around him assumed it was just his adhd

hear me out I’m going somewhere with this

for one thing, memory issues: sometimes with adhd you have a bad memory because you weren’t paying attention to begin with, and with his prophetic abilities he’d remember things that didn’t happen

sometimes he’d see a little bit farther into the future in casual situations or conversations, so for example, he’d start talking over someone who hadn’t finished speaking because he already knew what they were going to say and didn’t realize they hadn’t said it yet

or say he was playing a game like red light green light, simon says, or duck duck goose: he’d hear someone say green light/simon says/goose before they actually said it so he’d respond too soon

this would look a lot like impulsiveness

also, continuing with the red light green light/simon says/duck duck goose example, maybe someone would say green light/simon says/goose and he wouldn’t hear it because is head was in the future, so he wouldn’t respond

that would look a lot like inattentiveness

and sometimes having adhd makes things really overwhelming and confusing, so combined with his prophetic abilities, many situations can be even more overwhelming and confusing for him

also having adhd probably exacerbated the problems he had with prophecy because when he got bored and his mind started to wander, sometimes it would unintentionally wander into the future

it was probably Lee who figured it out first

he was like “oh you must have prophetic abilities! a lot of us do too but you seem to have it stronger than most.”

and that was so affirming for Will to find out why he would so often remember something that hadn’t happened or react too soon or too late

and now that he realized why it was happening he could figure out how to deal with it

over time he learned how to identify when something happened in the present vs in the future

he also learned what it felt like when his mind was wandering into the future so he was better able to tell when it was happening and he could keep himself in the present if he wanted to (although having adhd probably complicates this bc you can’t always force yourself to pay attention, so he still sometimes has trouble)

he didn’t learn to fully control his powers until he became friends with Rachel

they actually helped each other learn a lot about their powers!

and on the day Will unlocked complete control over his prophetic abilities...it was all over for everyone else

in combat he uses his powers to see a little bit into the future so he always knows what his opponent is going to do next

only a split second, just enough to make up for any delay in reaction time

it makes it seem like he has super fast reflexes

this was a big deal for Will because while he was always a good fighter, he was never the best because he doesn’t have as many combat-based powers as some of the other demigods

but then he unlocked his prophetic powers and now he’s practically impossible to beat

this was a bit frustrating for Nico at first because he’d gotten used to beating Will while sparring but he’s gotten over it and he’s really proud of how cool his bf is

anyway now everyone wants Apollo cabin on their team for capture the flag

also the big brother/cabin counselor skills it gives Will? he just knows when one of his little siblings is about to cause trouble

like he’ll be in the middle of a conversation and he’ll just be like “hang on, my dad sense™ is tingling...where’s Yan?”

and he’s unprankable

he is the #1 target of the Hermes cabin for this reason but they just can’t catch him because he always knows when he’s about to walk into a trap

they even got Nico involved to lure Will into a false sense of security and it still didn’t work

they only managed to catch him when they got literally the whole camp on board

and even then it wasn’t because they outsmarted him, it was just because there were so many back ups that the prank became literally unavoidable, and it still took a few tries

Will may or may not have let them catch him just because he was worried that they’d turn to drastic measures if they didn’t get him soon

[scover-va]

Also because you’ve been talking about them recently… any headcanons for the Pony Island gang as a whole? I read your post about the Daemons and you’ve absolutely got my interest (Asmodeus and Buer in particular are such interesting takes).

Good bc my gf and I have developed Buer and Asmo the most (I’m sorry Azazel and Beel but yall are mostly comedic relief rn)

Doing this in order of character appearance (as far as I can remember anyways, I can’t perfectly remember when Baphomet makes their first appearance)

Theodore (the player):

Chronically sad

He misses his family, but also can’t perfectly remember them, so he’s stuck grieving in a confused state

Was a bit of a flirt when he was alive, though p much dropped that shortly after getting with his gf/future wife

He’s a sad drunk

I don’t have much for him, or anything for HS, since my gf plays them, and we’re biased towards Asmo and Buer rn

Lou Natas/Lucifer:

As old as the concept of sin itself

Only started going by Lucifer/Satan after humans nicknamed him that

Souls he wants to take are regular player souls, souls he already has in his possession when the person dies becomes a demon. There’s many different demon jobs

The only demon of his who isn’t a stolen soul would be good ol’ farty mcgee Vallamir

Like I said in my Barry hcs, they dated for a bit. Lucifer’s a gayass

Struggles with issues that he dubs ‘mortal issues’, such as pain of any kind or emotions. He hates it

Made Gamefuna so he could keep making games, though obviously sucks at it

Created three ai’s to aid in game creation, Irving being one of them

The pony in Pony Island, creatively named Pony, is his daughter and he would kill on sight for his kid. All his other kids (the demons, not actual kids they just call him ‘father’ as a respect thing) can go die in a ditch tho for all he cares. Especially Bu-

His sister is as old as the concept of morality, basically being God. I’m taking some basic religious things and moving them a little to the left bc im not fuckin reading the bible so I can go make Lucifer a manwhore /j

Baphomet:

They/Them, very gnc to the point where you cant tell their gender

Sold their soul for infinite knowledge and wisdom, as well as the ability to see into the future

Was like a parental figure to Buer during their time on the overworld map

Baphomet lived back during BC times. I don’t have an exact time as to when they died, but they’re the oldest of the daemons

Killed themself back when they were alive so they could have immortality

The braincell AND the impulse control of the group

Azazel:

Was a party animal when he was alive

Sold his soul for simple power, most likely to have as a cool party trick

Somehow the nice one when compared to everyone else

My gf plays him in the rp so i got NO idea what her interpretation of his death was. Sorry folks

Buer:

Lived back during the black plague

Came from a highly religious family of priests and nuns. His family wanted him to do the same thing but he wanted to study medicine

Only ‘supportive’ relative was his uncle. His uncle was still highly religious, but hey. We’ll get to that later

Had a boyfriend back when he was alive! Gayass

When the black plague started up, he and his bf switched to love letters instead of meeting in person, since Buer decided to become a plague doctor to help with fighting off the plague

Was typically unbothered by all the death around him. He grew used to it

That changed though when a little girl in his village fell ill with the bubonic plague. He didn’t know the kid, but every attempt to help her get better proved to be useless

So, after doing some research, he summoned Satan and sold his soul in exchange for the girl to be healthy

Weeeeeeell the family was then accused of witchcraft, the parents and little girl all burned at the stake. Buer still hears the girl’s screams in his sleep

Went on with his life for a bit, but his uncle found out about Buer’s newfound connection to the devil. His uncle told others, and Buer was soon burned at the stake, too

Lucifer used him as a temporary solution, just someone to guard the third core file while he looked for a better daemon. Buer was none the wiser

Buer’s mechanic would just be that you’d need to wait him out. That’s it. He’d make it impossible to reach the core file via glitchy walls blocking said file, but it drains him of so much energy he kills himself in the process

Obviously, grew resentful and angry when he was replaced. Stayed in the overworld map, only talking to Baphomet

Did take his own life at some point between being replaced and Theodore showing up, but Baphomet brought him back

He’s also severely mentally fucking ill. He uses drawing as a coping mechanism

Beelzebub:

Was a soldier in his past life

His side was losing a war, and he didn’t wanna die. So, he traded his soul in exchange for his side winning the battle

Was later killed on a different battlefield, being dragged down to hell to become a daemon

Living up to his namesake, Beel snacks a lot. His non-file demon form is also based on a fly, since canonical mythology Beelzebub is the lord of the flies

Asmodeus:

He’s albino!

Was born into royalty in the 1600’s

Had a twin brother

When his father fell ill, he and his brother started competing to see who would be better fit for the crown, constantly battling for their parent’s attention

Asmo constantly lost at these challenges. So, he sold his soul so he could be better than his brother

Upon becoming king, he banished his brother so he wouldn’t have to deal with him again

One day before a royal meeting, he came in to do his makeup. Thanks to his poor eyesight, an assassin snuck up on him after Asmo sat down in front of his vanity

Asmo was forced to slit his own throat

Quickly replaced Buer, and hated him because he thought he had to, thanks to the competition thing with his brother

He knows how to sing! Has a low and sultry singing voice

Also had a pet raccoon who was a golden colour names Vanilla. I found this out in the rp last night. I was expecting a cat or something but Vanilla is much much better

He’s a clean freak because he got in trouble once as a kid for making a huge mess and not cleaning it up. Fun

Twink (affectionate)

Aaand that’s all! That I remember, anyways. Would’ve been quicker but wifi isn’t working on my chromebook so I had to type all this up on mobile. Fml

[thepucegoose]

idk if you remember your "starsky & hutch is adhd/autistic solidarity" post (its like a year old whoops) but if you have more thoughts about hutch being autistic i would love to hear them 👀

okay it’s been a while since i rewatched s&h and generally when i said this i was just like, thems the vibes - with this said i think hutch does have those vibes for a reason so i’ll try and figure it out and if anyone else would like to contribute that’d be very welcome!

i think mainly hutch has a particular kind of relationship with empathy? when i think about episodes like vendetta or black and blue or any countless others, hutch is always very personally invested in the lives of those in the cases he’s involved with and really seems to take on the weight of these experiences i guess? which like, by the time you’re getting to season four he’s so burnt out by just all of it (bc the way to help in the community is not through the police btw lol! but that’s by the by) and i think that you could easily chalk a lot of that up to hyperempathy - i think we do see this also with starsky in episodes like nightmare, starsky’s lady, manchild on the streets, and blindfold, but frequently these examples are when starsky has a very personal investment in the case (and lead to significant emotional impulsivity in indignation bc he’s adhd babey) whereas hutch just sees someone sad and he seems to be feeling it right there with them (is this due to childhood abuse? i think the crying child means you can make a very valid argument that it is. is this due to autism also? yea.)

this said, despite his hyperempathy in relating to these inter-personal scenarios, this doesn’t necessarily translate into awareness regarding specific social boundaries. i think hutch often struggles with recognising what’s too far in his jokes and competition with starsky and he frequently does things that suggest he hasn’t really factored the emotional impact his actions might have on starsky. this is perhaps most evident in partners, although it’s a running theme you can see from the beginning on through (please don’t make your partner think he’s bad in bed jeez? stop stealing his gfs?? also babe starsky isn’t trying to trick you with this bet thing, you’re literally dying). these scenarios often run in line with the fun joking that s&h have in their relationship, and yet the extent to which he takes it, seemingly in good fun and without subsequent apology, suggests he just doesn’t recognise how far can be too far in a joke before you can end up really hurting someone - he just doesn’t seem to be aware of where the line is

in partners, hutch is mad at starsky’s impulsivity and the way in which he felt out of control and the negatives consequences that resulted from this and so he feels the need to demonstrate those possible consequences - i think this reaction kind of suggests a black and white approach to thinking as well as some difficulty expressing emotions: he hurt me by being so impulsive so i’ll make sure he knows that he went too far and that i was really hurt by it by making sure that he faces the worst of the possible consequences since this is what he deserves - without then recognising what pretending to have amnesia would do to starsky and the extent to which it would cause utter terror and profound distress, as well as compounding his guilt in an unfathomably unbearable way (i think hutch’s difficulty expressing emotions, particularly when he’s feeling hurt by starsky, also makes starsky vs hutch more coherent as a culmination of this and the relationship dynamic they’ve developed - to quote my own fic, “I tried to make something real with every girl I came across; you grew a moustache and fucked my girlfriend to prove it really wasn’t. Real that is.”)

just as a side note, i think it’s interesting that starsky didn’t respect hutch’s boundaries re: the driving bc of his impulsive reaction, and hutch didn’t respect starsky’s boundaries re: not like, faking amnesia to punish him bc he didn’t understand the emotional implications of this for starsky - sometimes being neurodivergent can make relationships hard!! but they work it out bc they’re in love and their minds are grooving on that neurodivergent plane together :’‘)) i think they can be conscious of the other’s difficulties and this helps them be understanding of each other, most of the time acknowledging when something was the other not meaning any harm and acting accordingly, but also recognising and responding when the other was clearly disregarding respect and care for the other, as is the case with both starsky and hutch in partners - it’s about being understanding whilst still being clear on what isn’t appropriate behaviour and what you’re not willing to put up with from someone

also starsky is just very neurodivergent and frankly (from my personal experience) it can be hard to like, vibe w someone in the way starsky and hutch do if they’re not also neurodivergent - they can follow each other’s thinking, skipping over the steps that other neurotypical people might need to follow, and they’re both good at finding unique perspectives on cases and noticing details that others might not

also just, hutch’s approach to healthy living as part of a regimented routine?? that’s autism babey. he likes things done in a particular way and he always has the same grim shake for breakfast? that’s autism babey! he’s constantly trying to inveigle starsky into his healthy living thing about which he is evangelical? sounds like a special interest to me and he just wants his bf to know just how cool it is!!! would anyone who isn’t neurodivergent drink cold clam chowder out of a can?

and like,,, murder on stage 17??????? the way he mimics john wayne when he’s anxious and under pressure to speak?????????? need i say more????????

s&h as a show also i think has a greater relationship to neurodivergence as a whole which i have so many thoughts on and will one day manage to write up but essentially i think the show has a running theme about respect, understanding, compassion, and care for neurodivergence and this is really shown through both starsky and hutch’s actions - i’m not saying that starsky and hutch need to be neurodivergent to show the compassion they do, but i do think it helps that they are able to relate to the other neurodivergent characters on the show and their responses are in line with this

essentially: hutch has hyperempathy, but a difficulty recognising where he’s crossing social boundaries. there are suggestions of some black and white thinking at times, a difficulty feeling out of control, and he can have struggle with expressing the ways in which he’s been hurt by something. he vibes with starsky bc they have similar modes of thinking and he notices details and makes connections that others may not be able to, as well as being able to follow starsky’s reasoning when he does the same. he likes a routine and a regimen, and this feeds into a special interest in healthy living, about which he is very enthusiastic and can’t see why starsky wouldn’t agree. he sticks to the same shake for breakfast every day, suggesting not only consistent routine but also a particular sensory affinity and i can’t remember if we see him eat other breaksfast foods but he doesn’t want to eat pastries in the mornings which could be related to sensory difficulties. he struggles under the social pressure of being on camera, at which point there’s some suggestion of using echolalia to help script a response. he also is very able to relate to others who are neurodivergent. he’s autistic!

(like i said it’s been a while since i engaged with s&h so if i’ve got any episode titles wrong or made erroneous assumptions please chip in bc i have not double checked!)

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 25: 1x16 The Galileo Seven

I took a half day off today and had a three hour nap in the afternoon. Now I’m feeling, I think, better?? Perhaps?

Anyway, today’s ep is The Galileo Seven, aka capitalizing on Spock’s popularity time.

Hmm, a vague and undefined phenomenon perfect for scientific study--Spock will love this. (Aka Kirk’s real reason for investigating the quasar. Just a little gift for the bf.)

Yeah Shuttlecraft Galileo! I love the shuttlecrafts; I think they’re adorable.

New Paris Colony.

The Commissioner isn’t wrong, though, like this probably isn’t the time to go on a random exploratory mission. Ah, yes, this weird space anomaly full of unknown dangers--let’s launch our most important officers right into the center of it while we have time sensitive supplies onboard. I mean come on, there’s a plague going on!

Love the shaky movements of the shuttle as it flies through space.

Hmm they’re exploring an unknown weird space thing and something goes wrong? Who could have predicted that? Other than Boma, who’s like ‘this is actually really normal though?’

Kirk’s sigh right before the credits lol.

Uhura taking over for Spock.

Those doors looked awfully, um... not metal when they opened. But I still like the design.

This is a good episode for understanding what ‘logic’ means to Spock. Like people, including people in this ep, talk about it as if it were just being emotionless and not caring about others but it’s a whole philosophy/value system and he adheres to it pretty well.

Shuttlecraft Columbus.

Kirk has such a big headache right now. He hates having someone step on his command toes.

I love this Bones and Spock conversation. “This is your chance for command.” “I am a logical man.”

Those pants really are terrible. Everyone always on about the skirts but no one ever talks shit about those horrendous pants.

Spock gets to show off his legs standing in a V like that though lol.

Philosophy 101: The Trolley Problem.

“My choice [of who to leave behind] will be a logical one.” Stop bullshitting, Spock lol. “Idk man... logic?”

Well his decision just got easier by about 1/3.

It’s Pauna! Oh wait wrong show. Thank God.

Spock is talking about how this spear looks like something Native American but lbr it looks like a Vulcan spear and he should know. He’s the bitch with the ancient weaponry hanging on the walls of his quarters.

Spock could move the body way more efficiently, I mean he’s 3x stronger than these other fools. Look at the way he throws the spear as if it were made of cardboard. Which it is definitely, definitely not lol.

That quadrant name would make a good wifi password.

The commissioner truly has NO purpose here other than to be a human clock.

I understand Spock not wanting to waste time with the ceremonial duties of command or with burying a person while he could be working to save the people who are still alive...but I don’t believe for one moment he doesn’t know elaborate funeral services. The Vulcans love their rituals.

“We have no fuel! What alternatives?” Yeah lol that is pretty bad.

“Sensitive Vulcan ears.”

He literally just said they’re not tribal, Boma, are you not listening at all?

“I’m frequently appalled by the low regard you Earthmen have for life.”

Like Kirk always says, this isn’t a democracy.

Honestly this insubordination kinda seems like xenophobia to me in that I feel like everyone thinks it’s okay to be disrespectful to Spock because he’s an alien, because their human morality and philosophy is inherently right and Spock not following it is deserving of ire, even though he’s in command.

They’re on Spock’s back when he doesn’t seem to respect life enough and when he respects life too much like he cannot win.

Our duties to other life forms.

At least the reboots got Spock’s sass right.

I feel like Spock’s logical and emotionless responses are helpful though because I would be a straight up anxious mess. It just seems so clear to me, all the places where being unemotional is allowing him to act and keep control where a scared and confused person ruled by emotions would not be. I mean they’re all Officers and it’s not like McCoy and Boma are wandering around weeping or anything but still. Not all of Spock’s decisions are right but I’d be soothed by his attitude.

“Luck may be the only tool we have that works” reminds me of “Captain, you almost make me believe in luck.”

Kirk also makes a lot of command decisions here and it’s interesting to compare his style with Spock’s.

Loving the creature design and this is not a sarcastic comment.

“Certain scientific curiosity” about whether the crewman is dead. Sure okay.

See, I was right, he can lift and carry a grown man by himself.

That spear very much hit him lol.

Spock is upset. He lost a crewman. And logic isn’t working like it’s supposed to. I love that “They should have respected us” bit. He is a little arrogant, and for someone who’s spent most of his adult life around aliens, rather set in his idea that rational responses are the only responses.

He’s really having some revelations here. I bet he can’t wait to discuss all this with Jim.

I’ve seen that shot of Scotty just shoving a wrench in the wall and making sparks fly used in memes. Out of context it is quite hilarious.

Ugh, this is such a tightly constructed narrative. Love it.

Yeah, Boma, back off. This is just crossing a line.

“You will have your burial, provided the creatures permit it.”

Poor creatures honestly. These weird aliens keep showing up and bothering them.

This Captain’s chair is pretty wide too but Kirk manages to sit in it and look cool @ cpine.

Noooo you can’t leave them behind!

Uhura posing behind the Captain’s chair and looking at the screen like google earth always taking pictures.

Lol, space normal speed. (You’d think the Commissioner would show up at this point to be like bUt ThE pLaGuE but actually we never see him again.)

Those creatures aren’t even AIMING the spears they’re literally just throwing them parallel.

“Get us off, Scott.”

“Yes.... my first command.” Oh, Spock. I love him.

Love that Scotty’s really, genuinely proud of him. Scotty’s so Unproblematic. He really is just here to do his job and he’s never mean or causing trouble of any sort.

Jim will see the flares because he loves you!!

This poor actress playing the Yeoman has nothing to do. “Oh, it’s hot!”

Really living for Kirk’s face journey as he thinks all hope is lost and then realizes they’re (mostly) okay.

I want to hear what Kirk and McCoy are saying at the beginning of the last scene. I bet they’re talking about Spock.

Everyone gently making fun of Spock but in a ‘we love you buddy way.’ And Kirk using this, their one scene together all ep, to lay on the flirting extra thick. “Mr. Spock, you’re a stubborn man” is really pushing the flirtation meter off the charts.

They’re mocking him for making an impulsive decision but he was totally right AND he was totally logical imo? Like “you reasoned that it was time for an emotional outburst” is certainly one way to put it but another way is “the only possible chance we have of being detected AT ALL is to make a big scene and if it doesn’t work we’ll just die faster than we would have anyway” which is logical, and in fact, I think someone too caught up in their emotions might hesitate to do it. I mean, I’d probably hesitate--I think the emotional response to the situation is to want to stay alive as long as possible, even if you know--logically--that the difference between living another 6 minutes and another 26 minutes is nothing. You’d be better off giving away the chance for 20 extra minutes in exchange for a better chance of not dying at all. That’s logic bitches!

Kirk sees some hope for himself here. “Oh, Spock can follow his heart??? Perhaps... to me??”

I am not a fan of these fake laughter endings. They are so overdone lol. Uhura is literally pointing and laughing in the background. It’s not THAT funny guys.

That said if Beyond had ended with some fake laughter it probably would have improved the film substantially.

And that’s it! An excellently plotted episode, really well done on the level of craft. I really get off on that kind of thing. I know a lot of shows that can write entertaining episodes/seasons/multi-season plots but don’t have any, well, real logic to them and that’s not necessarily the worst but then when you see something that’s really just well made, it... well for me it triggers a very certain satisfaction.

Also this is easily a top 3 Spock episode. Great character stuff.

Next up is the Squire of Gothos, which I think is one of the weaker S1 episodes. Not bad, just not Classic level like almost every other ep.

[rubberbandgirl1993]

cherry @mifunebooty​ tagged me to answer some Quarantine Qs so here goes!! thanks luv

When was the last time you left your home:

i actually try to go outside for a walk everyday. i take my dogs and we usually do about 2 miles!! i be gettin fit (not really)

What was the last thing you bought?

i thought i’d be doing a lot more online shopping and ordering food and shit but tbh i haven’t done any of that. last thing i spent money on was my birth control prescription (and like..what’s the point of it since i’m not getting laid this entire month lmao) 

Is quarantine driving you crazy or are you finally relaxed?

it’s driving me crazy. i hate it. i’m home a lot anyway but i hate being FORCED to be at home. i wanna go do stuff. i miss the ocean. and restaurants. and my work friends. i even miss sitting in traffic everyday because at least i was doing something

Who are you spending quarantine with?

my parents. i’m surprised at how well we’ve been getting along.

Do you have any pets to keep you company?

i have 2 dogs and a cat that will not leave me alone :-)

What are your current responsibilities?

i mean... i still have a job technically. but i haven’t had a lot to do. the entirety of last week i didn’t have work and i had to use ALL my sick time in order to still get paid. because like.. i have bills to pay. (this sounds so whiny i’m sorry. i know that i’m lucky to 1. have a job and 2. have a job where i even get PTO. i’m just frustrated)

Do you have a room to yourself?

yes. it’s the only part of the house where i can get some peace and quiet

Are you exercising?

trying to! i’ve been going on walks like i said and just started doing my ab exercises again. had to start from square one since i wasn’t doing them for like 3-4 weeks. let me tell you, that shit hurted.

Town, country or city?

city i think ? do i live in a city ? idk lol

How’s your toilet paper supply?

we had a lot before this whole thing started. my parents have always been the kind of people to stock up on stuff like that, so we’re good.

What’s the worst thing you had to cancel?

uhhhhh nothing as of yet. i didn’t have anything planned. there’s a concert in october that i’m 99% sure will be canceled but i haven’t heard yet.

What’s the best thing you had to cancel?

this one work project that i hated. it’s not interesting 

Who do you miss the most?

my bf

Do you have any hobbies?

idk does listening to music count as a hobby since literally everyone does that? lmao. idk playing animal crossing? i need some hobbies. life is a bit dull right now.

What are you watching the most?

TV shows! i never really watch shows, i’m more a movie person. but yeah i watched fleabag and i loved it so much. it really hurt my feelings but it was good. i also am finally finishing big little lies (don’t judge me)

Are you still going to work?

not going. working from home. but barely working.

What are you out of?

positivity. i try really hard to make the best of every situation but all i can think about with this is how much life has changed and will change. and how hard it will be for my generation and younger generations to live now as if it wasn’t hard already. i’m trying to see the light in it but it’s hard. my thoughts go out to the rest of you who are struggling with this too.

Have you made any changes to your hair?

yes.. i’m a basic bitch with impulsive tendencies ok

i tag: @translucideyelids @justpatches @frankboeijen

[faejilly]

i hate how everyone felt the need to dictate what alec should or shouldn’t do to save his bf like if izzy didn't jump in front of simon risking her life to save him&jace didn’t risk everyone and everything for clary, same w clary yet when alec thinks of becoming a vampire as a way to save his fiancé that'll still keep him "alive" they flip out like hypocrites

basically what im saying is they all get to do whatever tf they want without getting alec’s thoughts on the matter and when alec does they don’t care (and the narrative glorifies them and gives them moral high grounds like always) but when it comes to alec and magnus suddenly there has to be a whole meeting for everyone to feel comfortable

Hmm. 

Well nonny. I both agree & disagree with what you’re saying here? Like, it’s a consistent problem in the show that everyone does stupid shit all the fucking time (because it’s a melodrama and also they’re mostly all 19 and I’m sorry to my younger readers but everyone is an idiot at 19, we just are, I’m including myself in this, there is no getting around it; we may all be idiots in different ways but it’s still there!) but Alec is both older & the only one who has a story/character-arc about reconciling one’s mistakes, so he’s the only one who ever has to deal with consequences and that is super shitty. It makes everyone else look like assholes even when they’re not supposed to, and it makes his storyline heavier and sadder in comparison to potential hero-moments that other people get. (He never gets to be right, not really, and that’s exhausting.)

Like, I don’t think anyone’s disagreeing that that’s a thing the show does and also that it’s crap. Alec gets judged and everyone else (mostly) gets away with shit. (Every time Clary charges out of the Institute to Do Things™ in season 1? Alec’s legitimate tactical concerns being framed as jealousy over Jace? Izzy & everything remotely related to her sub-plot in 2a? Every time Jace refused to tell anyone anything about what was wrong in 3a? SUMMONING LILITH IN 3B ANYONE? Dear lords. *sighs forever*)

The counter to this is that Alec gets AGENCY, he gets to make decisions about his life and act on them; even when they’re shitty decisions they’re his, and everyone else is mostly just sitting around and reacting to things all the time. (Especially Magnus in 3b OH GODS I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT, but sorry, different post.)

um

I will say, there’s a meeting about Magnus/Heavenly Fire/Edom because Lilith is going to try and destroy the world and so it’s not just about Alec needing to rescue his fiance. It’s not that everyone got together just to judge Alec for making emotional decisions when he’s, you know, legit emotional about things, they do have other issues to discuss.

I also think there’s a difference between most of the crew’s tendency to impulsive & stupid decisions in the field, and Alec’s ability to think tactically and make a decision and throw himself at it in .5 seconds while everyone else is still standing around going wtf? Like, it’s one of my favorite Alec traits, but it’s a little concerning to watch if you love him and don’t know he’s fiction and thus it will all work out in the end.

Like, you can see Alec, in his head, in the same amount of time it takes everyone else to think: oh shit, can we even get to Edom? What now? going: 

I can’t go to Edom as a Nephilim. 

De-Runing won’t work, still have angel blood, how to get rid of Angel blood? 

Some sort of blood curse would be dangerous and would probably take too long and I don’t even know if it would work, have to be a Downworlder. 

There’s no known way to turn into a Seelie or a Warlock, Werewolf change isn’t guaranteed and won’t go into effect until the next full moon, so that’ll REALLY take too long. Vampire will have to kill me and also might not work but the odds are better than curses or Werewolf and I’ll be ready to go tomorrow… any other way? No? 

“Simon Make me a Vampire”

THAT’S NOT NORMAL. 

It’s delightful and I love him, but that’s not how most people’s brains work, so I don’t begrudge the fact that everyone else around him went: what, NO. 

I went oh no, baby, don’t do that and I was totally with him on the thought process. (He will die and he might stay dead and not get up again. Also what’s he gonna eat in Edom? What happens if he loses control and bites Magnus? What’s he going to do in a hell dimension for FOREVER while Lilith tries to kill Magnus? That’s only the start of a plan, where’s the rest of it? And of course he has to kill himself as part of the process! That’s different on a visceral level than the rest of his family’s ability to throw themselves between someone and a sword in the heat of battle.)

Now, to Alec’s credit, I think he’s completely aware of all those follow-up questions, it’s not that he doesn’t know he only has half a plan… he just doesn’t care. His longevity is never a factor when he’s making tactical decisions. 

Which is traumatic for the people who love him, and gets them being all judgey at him when he does it. (Which may not be the best way to express concern but hey, sometimes people are really dumb even when they mean well.)

So yes, I hate that Alec is consistently held up to higher standards than the rest of the cast, I hate that they let him bear the consequences of everything that happens to everyone ever, that the show mostly framed this as reasonable because it was always busy shoving Clary & Jace into the Next Disaster™ and that no one except Magnus ever even seemed to notice that Alec carried everyone else. 

That said… I don’t think everyone being upset at Alec’s “TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE” plan was really a case of them being hypocritical so much as it was a case of them being in denial about how bad the situation they were in actually was: No, that can’t actually be the only way to do this, there’s got to be a better option, right? 

/shameless self-promotion: for further thoughts on Alec as Vampire, pls see my insomnia-fueled not!fic.

Now, part of their disbelief can be attributed to the fact that none of them (except Simon being raped & murdered by Camille, and Isabelle and her yin fen arc) have ever actually faced the consequences of their terrible decisions before, and in both those cases they kind of… never addressed the consequences again later? But I’ve always taken that as a failure in the story-telling  rather than a character trait, iykwim.

The show never deals with consequences and emotional aftermaths, it’s not that sort of show. Can you blame the characters for that, or do you assume it happens off screen and we just never got to see it, because the story never told us that part for anything? (Except notably Magnus’ flashbacks after the agony rune, and there’s a reason that arc is one of a lot of people’s favorites, and it’s mostly HSjr’s amazing performance but it’s also that it is one of the few moments of proper emotional catharsis & follow-through in the whole series.)

It is really just personal preference, I mean, you have to base the characters on what the show gives us, but sometimes, idk. You can disagree with canon. Sometimes canon is wrong, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with basing your enjoyment of media on that premise.

For me it’s important to acknowledge the limits of the media, the style of the show and the pressures of production and scenes where it seems clear that what they’re trying to say and what ended up on screen may not be the same thing, to take character inconsistencies and wonder which ones are part of the character, (because people are inconsistent) and which ones are a side-effect of production errors. *shrugs* ymmv and all that though

[gremmin]

The other day I had a dream:

(There was a chameleon changing colors when I seen him he tried to hid from me this was me and my sister in the same place like a Arizona type house but she’s been being very distant to me lately, ✨)

Ooo he chameleon shows us The ability to camouflage is something that is used to defend against unwanted predators in the wild. To see a chameleon in your dream means that you are recognizing your ability to change and adapt to the environment around you. 🦎 (So it is saying I have to camouflage myself when I’m around Sonya and other people to protect myself and that it is becoming more easily for me to obtain being that way) 🦎 as well as A dream about a chameleon shows that you have the ability to change and adapt to strange and uncertain circumstances in your life, especially if the chameleon in your dream is adapting to a healthy green environment. The dream shows that no matter what is thrown at you, you can handle it.

The chameleon symbolism represents a period of changes. ... The chameleon spirit animal symbolizes sensitivity and clairvoyance. It encourages you to have patience, to gain insight, to always be curious, and to be resourceful. I’ve forgotten what color it changed to but I’m pretty sure it was green turning into a blue.?

The next sign I saw was a mini pig 🐖

To dream of a pig is associated with being rather stubborn in life. It can be associated with gluttony and greed in waking life. Additionally, the pig can also stand for a terrible menace. Perhaps somebody has cost you dearly or treated you badly. 🐖 (since this was a mini pig in the dream this shouldn’t be as big of a problem but a small annoyance, it can mean maybe I’m walking with greed, this could be for certain reason because why would I want to give to my sister who is hating me, maybe I’m being blind in a side, Sonya has been treating me horribly as if I’m not even in the house when she came up stairs, this only adds to how much I won’t want to “forgive” her. Fuck her.

🐖 In dreams, pigs can be a sign of stubbornness, selfishness, filth, gluttony, greed, overindulging and similar things. This dream could represent someone in your life with such traits, or it could reveal some of your characteristics, pointing out that you need to change them ( I’m just going to flat out assume that it’s about Sonya because it only make SO MUCH SENCE) come to a fact that Sonya was actually born under the pig totem in Chinese totem! As well as Kenny! They are about the same people lmfaooooo

The next sign I saw was me riding on a horse I cannot remember the color at this time: 🐎

Riding a Horse – If you dream that you are riding a horse it can indicate a control over your natural instincts and a strong drive towards your goals in life. ... Controlling or Restricting a Horse – If you see a horse that is being constrained and controlled it can indicate a feeling of your true self being repressed. 🐴 ( I’ve learned a lot how to handle myself and respect myself in a lot of ways now, I have strong goals and I could feel tied up because my relationship a bit but maybe I’m overthinking it, but I’ve taken a lot of control myself to be able to drive and feel confident while driving, I’m getting close to some goals.)

Horse. ... The horse is a universal symbol of freedom without restraint, because riding a horse made people feel they could free themselves from their own bindings. Also linked with riding horses, they are symbols of travel, movement, and desire. 🐴 (I’m a half of Sagittarius I have a strong will to travel and a lot of desires, a lot of movement is key to my source of energy)

Other characteristics horses represent are prosperity, forward motion, growth, loyalty, and stamina. Moreover, all horses are associated with the feng shui element of fire, as well as strong yang.

I’m feeling as if the horse was a light brown; Brown is the color of stability, comfort, and the home. Brown horses in dreams can symbolize a time of feeling safe and secure in our relationships at home and even indicate a comfort with ourselves.

Riding a horse in this manner means that we have command over impulses, our instincts, our intuition, and are friends with our unconscious 🐎 (Like Iv said I have taken a lot of time to work on myself along with my impulsiveness and my sexual instincts, my intuition has become quite sharp as well it all makes me super happy and I feel calmer in life now, I now expect for things to happen for a reason. I don’t have a lot of friends but I have quite a few acquaintances, a friend is someone I can be completely open with a someone I can talk to without hesitations and Iv known them for quite some time, you earn your stripes in my eyes lol )

The next sign was walking my dog Harley, 🐕 now Harley has passed for a long time now I’d say about 9 years now wow.. I always need to give him a moment I’m very sad on how I lost him.. rip my babyboy Harley,

To take a dog for a walk in the dream is a positive sign which denotes that, you will have much success and your life is highly productive. So keep working hard to maintain your lifestyle. If you see another person walk a dog in the dream it means that you feel you are in charge of something you are accomplishing. 🐕 (I was actually walking Harley while riding the horse lol it wasn’t hard but Harley was going slow at sometimes and I was nervous about his walking rope/chain. 🐕 ( maybe this was indicating that I will have a big amount of power with a type of business that I have that I will have success but it could be rocky at times,)

To see a dog in your dream symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream may suggest that your values and good intentions will bring you success

The next sign was someone eating a mushroom, that so happened to be Austin my bf eating the mushrooms lmao this wasn’t a very good choice for him in the dream because it was a unknow mushroom and if I remember correctly he didn’t feel good after eating it:

Mushrooms are very symbolic and can mean quite a few different things. If in your dream you are eating mushrooms rather carelessly, this may indicate a sudden abundance of wealth. However, this is a wealth that is dealt with somewhat foolishly. ... Dreaming of a mushrooms that are growing in the ground symbolize fertility. 🍄 (this is probably saying he will get a large amount of money but handle it carelessly, and loose it all this is what I’m always worried with him/: I’m really good at money but he can be very poorly with it)

Eating mushrooms in a dream is a symbol of a happy marriage and a full life, dream books predict. 🍄( it was a dream of Austin and I so we should have a happy marriage one day and a full life together ) 💕

Eating raw mushrooms - unexpectedly interesting relationships. 🍄( Austin was eating the mushrooms raw I’m nervous of him trying to have a affair one day.. even though he’s not like that I still have to suspect it) 💔

if you pick up mushrooms, it means that you will receive unpredictable reward for hard work and diligence, manifested in some deals. After eating mushrooms in a dream, you will have only pleasure and enjoyment in life. 🍄( Austin picked them up lol)

Another sign was a pink prying mantis:

To dream of a praying mantis represents your feelings about a person or situation that has a total disregard for your feelings. Feeling that someone is intentionally unsupportive. ... A praying mantis may also reflect your own attempts to pressure people with fear or unbearableness to get them to go away. ✨( Sonya has disregard for my feelings asf lmao she is a very UNsupporive person in my life) ( I can say that I pressure people a lot into leaving me alone because I know it’s for the best and I guess that’s just how I like to live, easy and simple)

A Spiritual Symbol of Peace and Patience. The Praying Mantis naturally attracts attention. Its beautiful color and graceful form command us to look and ponder. Encountering these remarkable insects may indicate that Spirit is speaking to you in an important way. ✨( that could be saying to have more peace and patience and to watch in silence)

Overwhelmingly in most cultures the mantis is a symbol of stillness. As such, she is an ambassador from the animal kingdom giving testimony to the benefits of meditation, and calming our minds. An appearance from the mantis is a message to be still, go within, meditate, get quite and reach a place of calm. ✨( this week I am home alone Austin goes to work and colter is at my moms for the week I’m going to be cleaning but also working on myself with excersizing and more meditation with my spirit guides) I need to take time to be calm and collected and to understand so much more and love this silence I get to have this week)

The color pink for the pink prying mantis is that Pink, a delicate color that means sweet, nice, playful, cute, romantic, charming, feminine, and tenderness, is associated with flowers, babies, and sweetness. The color pink is the color of universal love of oneself and of others. 💞( this pink is meaning to be sweet and having all that good energy put to use, good things come out of it)

(Before all this a sign I had in a earlier dream before this long dream took place I was with Logan and Crista she was still pregnant and I seen a color black take over, I have a lot of rocky dreams with those two and they seem to always be rough and confusing. ) I’ll look up a lot what it means at some point but here is what the color black indicates:

Color Meaning: Meaning of The Color Black. ... Black is associated with power, fear, mystery, strength, authority, elegance, formality, death, evil, and aggression, authority, rebellion, and sophistication. Black is required for all other colors to have depth and variation of hue. The black color is the absence of color.

[btsiguess]

Hey there! :D First i want to say thanks for triggering me with the 윤기 bf posts lately because ❤️😭❤️ and second I somehow just now got that you’ve got your nips pierced and I actually have been thinking about getting them done myself... so far I’ve only done research on YouTube lol (I’ll research more but I also already know a very experienced piercer + she’s nice so I’d let her do that kinda piercing) anyway I wanted to ask you about your experience (only if that’s not to personal) xo

 lol oh it’s totally fine!I love talking about myself . so I didn’t really do any research other than ask my friend who has them if she thought they were worth it and she said that she likes that they make her a secret badass. that was all I really needed tbh . I have some impulse control issues. any way . so i got them and it hurt pretty bad but like also I have several piercings? so it wasnt like i died. they also had two piercers do it at the same time so that it was over quicker. I have a really bad habit of getting super lightheaded after a piercing or tattoo, and i had forgotten to bring some juice with me, so i kind of passed out in the chair, but its really not from the pain of it? thats legit something my body does every time, even when I got my earlobes pierced? 

as for the healing, they stopped hurting literally the second day for me? I mean, you gotta wear a bra like all the time, but I do that anyway, so they honestly have hurt less than all my other piercings, Im so shook. My only regret is that I didn’t get them sooner lol. if you have more Qs please feel free to DM me!!