#but more and more watching redemption just feels like a chore

[cloysterbell]

i havent seen the last couple episodes of leverage but i saw your tag saying you dont like what they're doing to parker and im not sure yet how i feel about parker this season, but do you want to talk about what you're thinking?

So Flanderization is a trope where you take a multi-dimensional character and boil them down into one typically exaggerated element, usually for comedic relief purposes. At the end of S5, Parker was the Mastermind. She had undergone such bonkers character development, going from the weird loner who only cared about making a quick steal to becoming the only person to ever succeed in the White Rabbit because she understands. She talked what the hell's his name down from that ledge by talking to him about making a choice and seizing control of his life and not letting his past drag him down. She became someone who Nate, that shitlord bastard of a man (affectionate), was proud of, which is no easy feat.

Fast forward to Redemption where she's this like, ADHD scatterbrained parody of herself who only seems to care about vents and thievery. Yes, we get the occasional moment where old!Parker shines through like in The Date Night Job where she connects with that kid and the whole "we're both the Doctor" moment with Hardison, but those seem pretty few and far between, mostly because she also feels pretty absent this season? I know Beth directed an episode or two but she's barely in half the episodes and when she IS there, she feels almost like... comic relief, which is not what Parker is.

In OG Leverage, they had the running bit where you never see Parker enter or leave a room which the continue in Redemption, but instead of having Parker just sitting on a counter eating cereal or something benign, just always being there without ever showing up, they always seem to have her pop in with this crazed look in her eyes. It's little stuff like that, where it's never casual but instead it's like they have to keep reminding you that she's weird and quirky.

I dunno, look, I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to TV and I'm very good about overlooking things I don't like and focusing on things I do, but I put a lot of eggs into Parker's basket during my watch of the OG series and something about this is rubbing me the wrong way. It just feels..... disrespectful, you know?

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

One thing I’ve grown to appreciate about the “Red Dead Redemption” series now that I’m older is that you can tell Rockstar approached this project as an anti-western. It lures you in with the promise of Wild West, yeehaw goodness, but when you actually play the games, you get hit with the brutal reality of this world.

Examples of what I mean:

1) The Mexican Revolution arc isn’t romanticized. At first, you think it’s a simple tale of the evil fascist government fighting against the heroic rebellion. But then you meet the rebel leader and he turns out to be just as bad as the government. It’s a true “both sides are in the wrong” situation and, unfortunately, the ones who truly suffer are the peasants (such as Luisa Fortuna).

2) Frontier life isn’t just shooting and action. It was also watching over animals, building farms and ranches, and trading with towns. The games really make you feel the monotony of doing chores and yard work, especially when John was in his Jim Milton phase.

3) Outlaw life isn’t romanticized either. Although you start off as a happy family, it eventually devolved into backstabbing, despair, and self-destruction. Even before then, your group aren’t the greatest of people, especially with the whole robbing people at gunpoint and shooting up towns.

4) Good guys don’t always get a happy ending. Also, every action has a consequence. John Marston had to learn that the hard way.

5) The racism. I feel like a lot of Western-themed media tries to skirt around this issue, or even avoid the topic (such as the 2016 remake of Magnificent Seven, which had a diverse group of fighters). Red Dead doesn’t pull back its punches. You have the Ivy League professor who treated Native Americans as subjects for his racist research. Abraham Reyes straight up calls Chinese people an inferior race. Then there’s the Blackwater short film playfully talking about the massacre of Native American tribes.

6) Along the same lines as point 5, the sexism. For example, there was the propaganda short film about opposing the women’s suffrage movement. And, of course, Sadie Adler not wanting to be relegated to cooking for the group since she can shoot.

7) This is more for RDR2. You actually have to pay attention to the maintenance of the horses and the guns. I’ve never seen this in a Wild West movie/TV show, and yet it’s integral to someone whose life revolves around horseback riding and shooting people!

8) Not skirting around the issue of disease, especially when healthcare wasn’t as advanced as it is nowadays. You can see that especially with Arthur and Abigail.

[moonlightkitties]

You are your fathers daughter - Red Dead Redemption Reader Insert (Part Three)

Summary: After you get shot at the O'Driscoll camp, you get close to two of the newer members of the gang.

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: None

Part One Part Two Part Four

Who knew how strict Miss Grimshaw was whenever someone was injured?

You sure didn't until you got shot last night and have been bed ridden ever since. Here you were, laying down, in front of the fire trying your hardest not to bite the next person who asks "How're you feelin?"

You tried feeding Whisky this morning, nope, go back inside and lay down. Sitting up? Sure, just don't try to pick anything up with your bad arm. It was annoying. You hated being stuck inside when there were chores to be done.

Oh, and you've been so busy with your migraine and bullet wound that you haven't notice that there's a new member of the Van der Linde Gang.

A Mrs. Sadie Adler.

Apparently when we first got to Colter, Dutch and Arthur went out to find Micah and John. They only found Micah and he showed them a homestead that, not really surprising, was already occupied by O'Driscoll boys. Well, Micah found her hiding in the basement, and then had the bright idea to terrorize her and burn her house down on accident. She was a miserable poor thing , always crying and hardly ever sleeping. You hardly slept too so she was good company. The pair of you would stay up late, talking. About the gang and the members, her husband, your mother and why Dutch wanted revenge. In a way Sadie was very much like a female version of Dutch. She was very keen on getting revenge as much as Dutch was about Annabelle.

Until one night, when your arm was feeling a bit better she asked "Is there someone special in your life?" you froze, your cheeks going red in embarrassment "Not really" you shrug, leaning your body into the fire, trying to get warm. "Really?" she asks, surprise in her voice. "Not even a small crush?" she teases, knocking her shoulder against yours. Your cheeks turn redder, although it wasn't noticeable because of the fire. "Well, there is, but he's back in the Blackwater jail."

"Oh?" she asked, her interest perking.

"Sean, though you wouldn't know him."

Your mind went to the red headed Irishman you were talking about, he was twenty-one, and although Dutch thinks he's "too old for you" he still managed to get you on small jobs with him weather it was robbing a homestead or keeping watch over camp with him.

It was a stupid schoolgirl crush but you noticed he was taking a liking to Karen so you never had the guts to confess your feelings to him.

A silence went over you and Mrs. Adler as you thought.

"My Jakey" she began, after a few moments of said silence "Was the most kindest, patient, understanding man I've ever met" her voice trailed off so she could let out a quiet sob, your heart ached for her. You never wanted to feel the pain of loosing someone you hold close to your heart. You couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Arthur, John, Dutch or even Hosea again. You were a family with them, your two old dads and two miserable wet dogs that you call brothers. You rubbed her back as she sobbed, and after a few moments she put her hand on yours.

"You're a good kid, (y/n), I never wanted kids but if I did, I would want them to be just like you."

Your heart swelled at her praise, you hardly got any and when you did it was usually from Hosea which, you weren't complaining, but it was hard growing up without being praised for things, big or small.

"Thanks" you mumbled, your voice going shy.

"Well" she said, getting up from her chair "I think I'm gonna head to bed" you gave her nod of acknowledgement and she went to her space on the other side of the cabin and laid down. You sat there for a few more seconds before your mind trailed to the O'Driscoll boy that saved your life a few days ago. You felt guilty at dismissing his plead for you to vouch for him but you knew it would only make his situation worse.

You overheard Dutch talking to Arthur about how he was "bound to speak soon" since he "hadn't ate in days" and that made you feel even more guilty so you pulled your coat over your underclothes and snuck out of the cabin, making sure to not wake any of the other women up. Pearson should have at least a few things out, right? You made your way to the area where he was prepping the food. And yes, you felt awful stealing but you couldn't just let the O'Driscoll starve, well you could, but he saved your life! You grabbed a can of the nearest fruit you could find and made your way into the barn where he was tied up.

The barn doors creaked and you cringed at the sound "No.." the O'Driscoll whimpered in fear "I don't know anything else!" the barn doors shut a little too fast for your liking and made a loud noise as it did. Lets just hope that didn't wake anyone up. The O'Driscoll looked up, his face bruised from being beat and his cheeks hollow from being starved. His eyes widen "You" he began "I saved your life and you didn't even help me!" he exclaimed, his voice, rightfully, angry.

"I'm sorry" you began, opening the can of fruit "I couldn't just call my dad out in front of everyone" you told him "Then do it in private" he spat out. You sighed, annoyed "I can't, why would I tell him an O'Driscoll saved my life? He would never believe me!"

"I ain't an O'Driscoll" he muttered, looking away from me.

"Do you want the food or not?" you asked, getting really annoyed at his pouting.

"Yes.." he mumbled. Once you brought the can of fruit to his mouth he started lapping at it like a dog. A cute one at that. The way he lapped at the fruit juices made you think…unspeakable things. He was cute, a shy look crossed his face once you realized you were staring at him. "Oh! Sorry" you let out an awkward laugh. He looked down, his face turning a bright pink. "Well I should get going" you tell him "But I'll come back tomorrow night, I promise." As you turned to leave you could hear snow crunching from the outside of the barn. You panicked and looked for somewhere to hide but you were too late and the barn door opened. Your heart stopped as John's figure came into view. He narrowed his eyes at you and glanced between the O'Driscoll and then you. "What are you doin in here, kid?" he asked, an annoyed sigh leaving his mouth. You stood there, not knowing what to say "Uhm" you began "I just…I felt bad so I came here to feed him." John let out a chuckle "Feed him?" he repeated "He's not some type of lost puppy we found" John told you, taking a step towards you "He's an O'Driscoll" he spat out "And I can't believe you of all people are showing him mercy."

"What do you mean you of all people?" you asked, glaring up at him. John scoffs "I mean, you're Dutch's daughter, if he catches you being nice to an O'Driscoll, he's gonna have your ass." You grumbled, who cares if I was Dutch's daughter, it's not like I was some innocent lamb that needed saving. John sighed after you didn't respond "Just…come on, you're not even supposed to be out of bed, you're arm is still hurt."

"No, it's not" you snapped "I feel fine!" John raised his hands up, surprised at your outburst "Alright! Sorry! Yeesh!" nevertheless, you still followed him out of the barn and back into the cabin.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting too, scar face?" you ask him, his eyes roll at your nickname for him "I had to get away" he shrugged "Between Abigail's griping and Arthur's complains I just had to find somewhere to relax."

"I don't know why you're complaining" you tell him "If I was Abigail I would have left you long ago." John gave me a warning glare "Don't you start" he huffed "No, because you left without any warning" you snapped "You left Abigail and Jack like they were nothing." John clenched his fists at your words "You don't understand" he told you through gritted teeth "You were fourteen when I left, you knew nothing about what I was going through."

"I was young, but I still knew what was going on. Abigail was counting on you and Jack needed his father in his life." you argued. John huffed "I'm not talking to you about this." As he walked off you felt a tingle of guilt, you didn't mean to make him upset, it's just you saw how much his absence hurt Abigail, but not only her, his absence hurt you and Arthur as well. It was like he forgotten all about you. You were four when he first joined the gang and you grew up with him. Arthur was, and still is, a good older brother too, he was the one that taught you to ride Whisky once she was old enough.

The sun was about to rise and you walked into the cabin to find most of the camp awake. Karen eyed you suspiciously but didn't say anything as you sat in front of the fire. You slept almost all day yesterday so you weren't tired, even though you were up all night talking to Mrs. Adler and John. Reverend Swanson took your bandages off and let out a grunt "What's wrong?" you asked, noticing how concerned he looked "Nothing, your shoulder looks better than it did the first night, I was just worried the infection got worse."

"So, I'm all good to start chores?" you asked, getting anxious for his answer "Yes, but take it easy" Swanson replied, standing up from his chair. Finally. You were good to go back to chores instead of laying around all day. You walked out of the cabin, your shoulder was sore but you wanted to work today. Most of the work was inside the cabin since it was still freezing outside, so you spent the day washing clothes, doing dishes, even helping Pearson prepare the food.

When night came around, you were exhausted, going without sleep and working all day did something to someone. You noticed the men mounting there horses and walked over to Arthur "What's going on?" you asked, patting his horses muzzle. "Were doin the train job" he replied, gruffly. "Really?" you ask "That was today?" Arthur nodded at your question "Yep, Dutch wants us to rob the train and then get us out of here before were caught." Your head turned to Dutch who was busy talking to Hosea, they both looked annoyed with each other and when Hosea stalked off you knew he didn't approve of this plan.

"Come on gentlemen!" you heard Dutch yell "Good luck" you say to Arthur "And be safe, please" Arthur ruffled your head and gave you an affectionate chuckle "I always am kid." you give him a grin "Not always" you say "There was that job with the wagon, that job with the bank and that time you nearly got caught by that bounty hunter." Arthur rolled his eyes "Yeah, yeah, don't remind me" he chuckled.

As Arthur and the others left, you were left outside. You longed to go with them but you knew you were unexperienced and Dutch would force you to stay anyways. The O'Driscoll boy was still tied up in the barn so you made a mental note to stop by there once you checked on Hosea, he was starting to grow on you a bit. You opened the door to the cabin where Hosea was and you found him in front of the fire, busy writing something down.

"Hosea?" you asked and made him jump "Sorry!" you said, putting your arms up "Ah, (y/n), what's wrong sweetheart?" he asked, patting a chair beside him so you could sit. You shrug "Nothing, I just noticed you and dad arguing and wanted to check up on you." Hosea waved your concerns away "I'm fine, your father just" he lets out a sigh as he trails away "Your father is a very stubborn man and won't listen to anyone" he rambled "I thought we were supposed to be lying down but when there's money to rob he jumps on the chance like a cowboy at a rodeo" Hosea finishes his ramble with a huff and a rub to his forehead.

"Just, please, don't end up like your father, (y/n), for my sake" he was teasing, but his eyes told you that he was being serious. You looked like Dutch, a lot, your facial features, your dark hair, you even notice you're starting to sound like his mannerisms as well. "I'll try" you tell him. Hosea nodded "Now was that all?" he asked "I need to get some sleep. In case this job goes well we'll be leaving in the morning" you nodded "Yeah, I just wanted to check on you." Hosea pulled you into a comforting hug "You're a good kid" he told him, kissing your head, something he always did ever since you were a toddler. You melted into his embrace and stayed like that for a little moments longer. You missed these moments, you missed Hosea, it seemed like you could never see him.

"You know I'm always here for you right?" he asked and you nodded "I know…I just don't want to let you down." he chuckled "You could never let me down, you have some fire inside you and I don't want to see it burn out."

His words clung to you that moment as you walked towards the barn. The men were gone and half the camp was asleep. The O'Driscoll was sleeping when you walked towards him and jumped when you tapped his shoulder. He calmed down once he knew it was you "Hey" you said "uh hey?" he said, confusion in your voice.

"I um, I never really did thank you" you said "For saving me" the O'Driscoll shrugged "It was nothin really" he mumbled "What's your name?" you asked "Or do ya like O'Driscoll better" you smirked "Kieran" he said "Kieran Duffy."

Kieran.

"Well, Kieran, do you have a family?" you ask, trying to get to know him "Why?" he asked, suspicious "You goin ta kidnap and tie them up too?" he asked. You scoffed "No, I'm just trying to get to know you that's all."

"Well, uhm, I-I don't, my parents died when I was young, from cholera" he explained "Oh, sorry about that" you told him and he shrugged "It's alright, it was a long time ago."

As you spoke with him he mentioned he was from Ireland and that he and his parents immigrated from there to America when he was little. He also told you he joined the army but it "didn't work out" and that he joined a gang way before he met the O'Driscoll's. In the end you knew a lot about him and you told him that being Dutch's daughter demanded a lot out of you and how stressed you were about following your father's footsteps like he oh so wanted you to. You thought about the conversation that night and how much you really wanted to talk to him more. He was good company and heat rushed to yours cheeks as you thought back to the way he was nervous and squirmed around you.

Maybe, you could grow to be something more.

[sitp-recs]

15 fics with Militant Harry

I don’t know you guys but I’m equally soft for recluse!Harry and for militant!Harry. Maybe because I’m a sucker for political fics? Truth is, seeing Harry get involved can be so thrilling and inspiring. He doesn’t need to be attached to the Ministry to care about people - I love it when he’s doing the good deed behind the scenes, dismantling corruption while on the run, funding charities or unapologetically using his fame and voice to leverage better policies for those who are marginalized. That’s such a beautiful and powerful Harry trope imo, and the best thing is that in many of the fics I highlight below, Draco either seduces him into joining the revolution, or is there to inspire and help him along the way. Talk about a power couple! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did ♥️

A Little Death Never Hurt Anyone by @tackytigerfic (E, 4k)

Harry's getting good at slipping through the Veil. He's determined to win the war, even if means he has to raise the dead to do it. Draco just wants a stiff drink and a good night's sleep.

And Save Me From Bloody Men by @blamebrampton (T, 10k)

Draco Malfoy once watched others fighting to stop the world falling apart. This time, he's not just watching.

Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)

The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

Vortex by @xanthippe74 (T, 20k)

Ten years after that conversation, the idea of perfectly-matched soulmates feels more like a curse than a blessing to Draco. Who would want a soulmate who was a schoolyard bully, a Death Eater, and a convicted felon? Certainly not Harry Potter. And Draco is determined to take this secret to the grave.

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Doing the Lambeth Walk by @blamebrampton (T, 26k)

There are only three traditional choices for the cashed-up hero after victory. Harry Potter is too young to settle down and provide the wizarding world with a happy ending, and has too acute a sense of humour to spiral downwards into a spectacular flame-out. That leaves a life of good works. Choosing to lead it in Muggle Brixton comes with its own set of challenges, including Malfoys in the biscuit aisle.

The Nobility of Ascent by Lomonaaeren (E, 27k)

Not even his own fame and power are enough to get the Wizengamot to pass laws protecting Muggleborn and orphaned children, so Harry swallows his pride and goes to Draco Malfoy, who can teach him how to convince the prejudiced old bastards to listen to him. And Malfoy hasn’t even named a price. Which…concerns Harry, but he’s found a cause worth living for. And maybe someone, too.

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft (E, 65k)

Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.

A Young Radical's Guide to Love by @blamebrampton (T, 66k)

Memories of the war are still fresh, which is all the excuse Decent People need to do appalling things. In this quietly waged conflict, Draco Malfoy is happy to be on the right side of things for once, and even happier to find he’s not alone.

Dear Enemy by GingerTodgers (T, 69k)

An anonymous benefactor makes a generous donation to Harry Potter's School for Squibs in exchange for a weekly letter from the Boy Who Lived. What begins as a chore soon becomes the only outlet Harry has to talk about the war, love, life, hope, redemption, his renewed obsession with a certain blonde nemesis and how he really, honestly, believes that this will be the year Puddlemere United reclaim the Quidditch League Cup.

Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love by @aibidil (E, 80k)

In which a group of wizards' rights activists goes on the offensive after a prohibition against love potions, forcing the magical world to confront the horror of magic's role in sexual assault and the murky legal nature of consent. Ron, Hermione, Harry, and Draco are swept together to solve the case, and in the process they're made to confront their own love and lust—with and without potions.

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish (E, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid (E, 100k)

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

[allzelemonz]

Red Dead Redemption Scenarios: Spin the bottle

Pronouns: None Mentioned, masculine individual in mind while writing due to the settings/circumstances Physical Sex: None Mentioned Rating: T/Kissing, references to sex Warnings: Kissing, spin the bottle, unestablished relationship, drinking, public kissing

Abe: 

A handful of the hands got drunk and invited the two of you to play when you and Abe came in from the day’s chores. Abe declined, as did you, not wanting to get stuck with someone you’d see everyday for the foreseeable future. But they pulled you along and you both joined the circle. Most of the hands don’t really care who they’re kissing or what gender they are when they’re drunk, long days call for attention where they can get it. So the bottle spins around and the pairs follow its whims.

When it’s Abe’s turn, the other hands have to encourage him. He reaches out and flicks the bottle until it spins in quick circles. He watches it closely, only one outcome in mind, and when it lands on you his face goes pink. The other hands snicker and gently push the two of you into the middle of the circle. Abe looks around nervously, only occasionally meeting your eyes. One of the hands pushes you into him and you catch yourself by gripping his waist. Abe holds your arms, helping you steady. When you look back at him he looks much more adorable than usual, so you press a soft kiss to his lips. The other hands cheer and you pull away, feeling Abe’s grip on your arms tighten just a bit. He pulls you back in, causing the hands to cheer much louder.

Bill Williamson: 

No one is more nervous than Bill in the large circle. It was Karen’s drunken idea and nearly the entire gang got roped into it. The spins have gone around, prompting unlikely pairings, but when your spin lands on Bill the circle is full of excited whispers. As if they know something the two of you aren’t quite sure of yet. Sean elbows you, urging you to meet Bill in the middle now that Javier has dragged him out. You stand, walking to meet him where he stands next to the low burning fire. Bill shifts on his feet, all eyes on the two of you.

You step closer, putting a hand on the back of his neck to pull him in. Your lips meet and the gang cheers when Bill puts his hands on your waist. His lips are dry but you don’t particularly care. Your fingers go into his hair and he melts into you. When you pull away, Bill’s face is pink under his beard. The gang is all giggles and shouts of encouragement so you take Bill’s hand and pull him out of the circle.

Charles Smith: 

Arthur dragged him into the circle, otherwise he wouldn’t have come anywhere near it. He’d rather be on watch. But as you stand to take your turn he finds himself hoping. The bottle spins and for a moment he fears it’ll stop on Arthur to his left, but it doesn’t, it lands on him. The girls lead the chorus of encouragement, all but shoving you towards him. Charles stands and you both look at each other for a moment.

“Get on with it already!” Sean calls, the rest of the circle following with a chorus of encouragement.

Charles steps close. “You don’t have to.”

You shake your head. “It’s alright.”

He carefully puts a hand on your cheek as he leans in. Your lips connect and he feels heat come over him when your hands rest on his waist. In the midst of cheers he can hear Arthur egging him on but he pulls away, not entirely comfortable with all the attention. Still, he catches your arm when you move to return to your spot and pulls you along to sit with him.

Colm O’Driscoll: 

The boys managed to get the boss drunk enough to sit him in the circle. While everyone may be terrified that their spin will land on him, everyone thinks it’s hilarious that the Colm O’Driscoll is waiting for random kisses like the rest of his gang. No one has landed on him, but he has been smirking and drinking along with everyone. When he puts his hand on the bottle the gang goes quiet. He stumbles when he steps back as the bottle spins, clearly drunker than he should be. It slows and most of you have pits in your stomach as you wait for it to stop. Then it lands on you and the tension transfers entirely on you.

Colm, however, grins and beckons to you. He’s surrounded by loyal O’Driscolls, no one would deny him and that includes you. As you approach, he pulls you down into his lap and doesn’t hesitate to press his lips to yours. The gang is quiet, unsure if the boss wants the attention, but as Colm continues and his hands wander over you, they continue on with the game. Colm’s bottle of whiskey is long forgotten in favor of finding an interesting place to rest between your thighs, unbothered by the presence of the gang around you.

Kieran Duffy: 

Bill told him it’s fine, joining the game, but he’s still nervous when he puts the hand on the bottle. He’s hardly drank anything tonight and going into this game sober doesn’t help the frantic beating of his heart as the spinning starts. He feels like it goes on forever, and he fears what will happen if lands on someone like Sean who hates him enough to hurt him. But then it lands on you and he feels relieved for a moment before the nerves come back when he meets your eyes.

He feels much better when you pull him in by the waist. The kiss feels real, not like the product of some game. It’s like you’re alone, like the gang isn’t there egging you on. Kieran can’t think of what to do with his hands so he just grips at the fabric covering your chest until you pull away. He can hardly breathe as you take his hand with a smile and pull him along with you.

Micah Bell: 

No one expected Micah to join the game but he sits halfway as drunk as the others as people take their turns. He sits up from his usual laid back stance when you grip the bottle and he smirks to himself when it lands on him. Javier and a few of the girls tell you you don’t have to, but you stand and sit by Micah. He removes his hat for you, a cocky look on his face because he knows you only agreed to play because you saw him in the circle. He saw the way you looked at him.

You kiss, soft and slow, and it kills him not to egg you on. He wants infinitely more than just your hand tugging at his hair. But he just kisses you back with what you give him, not keen on the gang seeing so much of you together. When you pull away he has a look in his eye that makes you shiver in all the right places. So once the gang moves on to Arthur’s turn you quietly pull Micah along with you back to your tent.

Sean MacGuire: 

He has made a comment on every spin so far. Sean doesn’t even need to be drunk for this, he’s just enjoying the game. Your spin has him quiet for a moment as he watches closely. When it lands on him he cheers like he’s won enough money to get to Tahiti. He runs over to you, pressing his lips to yours in a fury. You smile into it and your hands go to his hair as you both fall back to lay on the ground. The gang doesn’t pay attention to Sean, they know better, so they continue the game as Sean glues himself to you with the occasional giggle.

[reddorkredemption]

My Blessed Son—Chapter 20

|| AO3 || Chapter List / Story Info ||  

Summary:

For years, Jack Marston dreamed of killing Edgar Ross, the man who had taken everything from him, who had ruined his life. His obsession with revenge had given him a reason to keep going. But now, after it was done, he was left lost, depressed and without purpose. He was left to navigate life alone with the unforgiving eyes of the law slowly narrowing in on him. Though he soon comes to realize that perhaps he isn’t quite as alone as he thought he would be. A continuation from the end of Red Dead Redemption 1.

Word count: ~13k

Chapter under the cut <3

Beecher’s Hope was bathed in a dim, golden light as the sun made its way below the horizon. Jack could feel the chill of night setting in, biting through his thin jacket and numbing his fingertips. He was standing around the side of the barn, a horse brush gripped firmly in one hand as he ran it over Ace’s sleek black coat. 

The faint smell of cigarette smoke surrounded him, floating over from the gazebo, where Lilly’s brother was leaning over the railing, watching him. Jack pretended not to care he was being watched, trying to— as Lilly had advised— stay calm and act normal. But as the hours droned on without any sign of him planning to leave, that became harder and harder to do. 

Tommy had been following them around, staring at them all day as they worked on the ranch chores. There was no opportunity for them to talk freely; they hadn’t gotten even a minute of reprieve. All Jack could do was keep his head down, clench his jaw, and pretend that everything was fine while his brain screamed at him that everything was definitely not fine. 

Tommy reminded him too much of the bureau agents; he had that same unnerving presence and obnoxious air of superiority. Jack knew that he wasn’t a bureau agent; Lilly had told him a while ago that her brother was a lawyer. And by the way the guy had talked about them, he didn’t seem to like the agents very much either. Still, all of that did little to assuage Jack. 

Eventually, he and Lilly had split up to work on separate tasks, and he hoped that might give him at least a momentary escape from the man’s gaze. But of course, it didn’t. Lilly was left alone to her own devices while he bore the full brunt of Tommy’s suspicions. 

His grip on the horse brush tightened, and he swiped it down Ace’s mane with a bit more force. He was nearing a breaking point; he could feel it. Chewing on his lip, he looked at the gazebo out of the corner of his eye, and as expected, he was still being watched. Jack huffed, puffing a small cloud of vapor into the cool air. He wished the guy would just leave. He couldn’t put up with all of this for much longer.

As if she’d read his mind, Lilly came into view, walking out from around the other side of the barn and marching towards the gazebo with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. He watched discreetly as she approached her brother and spoke to him. He held his breath, trying to hear what she said, but he couldn’t make out much of anything.

When Tommy didn’t appear responsive to what she was saying, she began to speak a bit more animatedly. At one point, she motioned up to the cliff behind the barn where his family’s graves were, though Tommy still appeared disinterested. Jack wondered what she’d told him.

Their short talk soon ended with him waving her off, leaving the gazebo, and heading for the house, a trail of cigarette smoke following behind him. Lilly watched after him for a few seconds, shaking her head before turning to Jack. He braced himself, freezing with the brush still resting on his horse, as she walked up to him, exasperation written over her face. 

“Hey,” she said, giving him a small, half-hearted smile. “I think it’s about time we go in for the night. Cook something for dinner.”

Jack’s brows drew together. “Okay.” He gestured in Tommy’s direction. “Is he leaving?”

Lilly sighed and pressed her lips together. “No. He wants to stay for dinner.”

“Of course he does….”

“I know. I’m sorry,” she murmured, staring at the ground. She stayed quiet for a moment before looking back up at him. “Um, I guess we’ll meet you on the porch.”

He gave a short nod in response, and she took off towards the house. Once she was a good distance away, he breathed a heavy sigh and gave Ace’s coat a final swipe with the brush. Now he had to go sit and have dinner with the guy. How fun. 

He took his time leading the horse back into the corral and tossing the brush on the workbench outside of the barn. Afterwards, he dragged his feet to the porch, where Lilly was standing in front of the door and Tommy was leaning against the railing by the stairs, still nursing his cigarette. Jack kept his head down as he neared the stairs, not wanting to catch the man’s eye.

As he climbed the first step, Lilly opened the front door and held it open for him, giving him a reassuring smile. He pulled back the corners of his lips, attempting to return the gesture, but he was sure she could tell his heart wasn’t in it.

After Jack slipped inside, Tommy approached the door, but Lilly put a hand up in front of him, stopping him from entering. She pointed at the smoldering cigarette in his hand. “You can’t smoke in here.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes at her. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she replied, lifting her chin up. “We’ve put a lot of effort into keeping this place nice; I don’t want you gettin’ ash and smoke all over everything.”

He stared at her for a moment, a mixture of amusement and annoyance written across his face, as if he were trying to call her bluff. When Lilly didn’t back down, he sighed and gave another eye roll. Turning to the side, he raised his cigarette and took a long, deep drag before snuffing it out. He blew a final cloud of smoke into the cool evening air, flicked the butt of the cigarette into the grass, and faced Lilly again.

“Happy?” he asked, holding up his palms.

She crossed her arms and stepped out of the doorway. “Quite.”

He tsked and went inside.

As the three made their way into the living room, Lilly said, “I’ll go start cookin’.” She made eye contact with Jack and motioned to the fireplace. “You wanna start a fire in the meantime? It’s a bit cold in here.”

“Sure,” he answered quietly. 

“Thanks.” She took a step closer to him, put a hand on his shoulder, and squeezed it, giving him another reassuring smile. With that, she walked away and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him alone with Tommy. 

Jack was immediately filled with discomfort, feeling that suspicious gaze boring into him once again. He tried to suppress a shiver, but it ran up his spine anyway. Keeping his eyes to the floor, he attempted to shift his focus to getting a fire started. He knelt down in front of the fireplace, stiffening when he heard shuffling from behind him as Tommy sat down on the sofa. Somehow, having an audience caused him to forget everything he knew about making a fire, and he stayed frozen in place as he searched through his memory.

Once he’d gathered his thoughts, he was able to get the fireplace lit, though it took much longer than usual, and his hands shook the entire time. All the while, those eyes remained on him, and despite the warmth from the fire, Jack felt chilled to his core.

He stepped away from the fireplace and watched it for a short moment to ensure it wouldn’t go out. Then, eager to get away from Tommy, he followed Lilly into the kitchen. He found her in front of the window, already hard at work chopping a batch of carrots for their dinner. She glanced up at him as he moved to stand beside her. 

“You okay?” she whispered, her voice almost overshadowed by the thudding of the knife.

“I’ve been better,” he admitted, equally as quiet.

“Try not to worry.”

Jack let out a short laugh. By now, she ought to have known that ‘not worrying’ was impossible for him. “It’s hard,” he said. “I can’t stand the way he looks at me. Like he’s just waitin’ for me to slip up and do something wrong.” He huffed. “He acts like them government agents.”

“He’s not a—”

“I know,” he interrupted. “But he acts like ‘em, and I don’t like him sniffin’ around here. I can’t take it much longer. He needs to go.”

Lilly paused chopping the vegetables and set the knife down on the counter before turning to face him. “He will. I doubt he’ll wanna stay the night— especially since I told him he can’t smoke in here. He smokes like a fuckin’ chimney.” She shook her head. “He’ll leave within a few hours. I’m sure.”

“And after that?” he asked, unsatisfied. “What about tomorrow? What if he comes back in the morning? And what if those agents come back to spy on us? He’ll see them.”

She looked away and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose. “I don’t know. We’ll figure that out when the time comes.” Her eyes met his again. “For now, let’s just… try to get through dinner, alright?”

He frowned and squirmed a bit. He wasn’t a fan of that plan. Too much was left up in the air; it drove him insane. “I don’t know if—”

“Everything okay?”

The pair startled and turned towards the kitchen doorway. There, Tommy stood with a hand resting on the doorframe, staring at them with a raised eyebrow. Jack froze with his arms hanging rigidly at his sides, praying that he hadn’t overheard anything.

Lilly recovered from her surprise quickly and stood up straighter, dusting off the front of her skirt. “Everything is fine.” She turned to Jack. “Isn’t it?”

Shifting on his feet, he held his breath and nodded.

“How long’s this supposed to take?” Tommy asked, motioning to the food on the counter.

“That depends,” Lilly said, putting a hand on her hip. “If you keep bothering us, it’ll be a while. Otherwise, it shouldn’t be too long.”

 “Hm.” He rolled his eyes. “Alright, then….”

Jack let out a breath of relief when he slipped back out of the doorway. 

Lilly turned back to the counter to pick her knife up. After a brief hesitation, she handed it to Jack. “Here, why don’t you stay in here and help me cook?” She dropped her voice to a whisper and added, “The sooner we get done, the sooner he’ll leave.”

Jack sighed. “Fine.”

He took the knife from her, and she slid the cutting board full of carrots in front of him. As he resumed chopping them, Lilly rifled around in a drawer and pulled out another knife for herself. She then grabbed an almost-empty bag of potatoes from the pantry and resumed her place beside him. Together, they worked on finishing dinner in silence.

Once the stew was cooked and scooped into three steaming bowls, Jack and Lilly exited into the dining room, where Tommy was already sat waiting for them. Jack set his bowl on the opposite side of the table— as far away from the man as the small surface allowed— and sat down. Lilly sat across from Jack, setting down two bowls and sliding one over to Tommy.

He looked down his nose at the food, a slight grimace appearing on his face. “Is this the kinda thing you’ve been eatin’ this whole time?” he asked with a sideways glance at Lilly.

Jack frowned and poked at his food with his spoon. This was actually one of the nicer meals they’d had lately. Shame it had to be spoiled by the unwelcome company….

“Pretty much,” she replied with a strained smile. “This and saloon food.” She took a bite and said with her mouth full, “I quite like it.”

Tommy stirred the stew, lifted up a spoonful, and examined it. “Well, you have always had… questionable taste,” he muttered, his eyes flitting over to Jack as he spoke. 

Jack slouched and stared into his bowl to avoid his gaze. 

After a beat of uncomfortable silence, Lilly asked, “So what have you been doing back home? Is work and stuff going alright?”

“Apart from all the drama you’ve caused by taking off, sure. I suppose things have been pretty fine,” Tommy replied as he continued to scrutinize the food. “We started on an interesting case a few weeks ago. Hoping to get a pretty payout at the end of it.”

“Oh, um, that’s good. How much do you think it’ll pay?” she asked, shifting in her chair— Jack noted how she’d ignored his comment about her running away.

“I don’t know. Enough.” He glanced at Jack again, a smirk playing at his lips. “Lot more than being a farmer, that’s for sure.”

Jack scowled at the comment. It was impressive how annoying this guy was, and he still couldn’t believe that he was related to Lilly. The more he opened his mouth, the more Jack hated him. He hated the arrogant way he spoke. He hated his fancy clothing and automobile and job. All of it.

Unable to help himself, he grumbled into a spoonful of his stew, “I’d still rather be a farmer. Ain’t no pride in helping the government hang people.”

Tommy’s expression soured. “I don’t recall ever saying I help hang people. Ideally, I stop them from being hanged.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “And I’m pretty fuckin’ good at it too, as a matter of fact. I’ve only been doing it for a few years, and I’ve already—”

“An arrogant lawyer…” Jack mumbled, uninterested in listening to any of his boasting. “How creative.”

As the words left his mouth, Lilly anxiously glanced back and forth between the two of them.

Tommy’s lip twitched, and he narrowed his eyes at him. “Yeah. And what are you exactly, huh?” he asked, a strange calmness to his voice. “I help people. What is it that you do? Sling shit around all day? Fuck horses?” He clasped his hands together and leaned even closer to Jack, a wicked gleam appearing in his eyes. “Run around on this dumpy little farm, hoping for the approval of a bunch of dead people?”

Jack drew back, his mouth going slack and his cheeks flushing.

He let out a small, derisive laugh as Jack stared at him, dumbstruck. “Yeah, that’s right. Lilly told me all about you.”

Lilly gaped at him and stammered, “That is not what I—”

Without taking his eyes off Jack, he put his hand up and shoved it in her face. “Hush.” Before she could object any further, he gestured at Jack and continued, “I mean, look at you. Sulkin’ around all day with that mopey look on your face like you’re some poor little lonesome cowboy from the world’s saddest, shittiest dime novel.”

Lilly grabbed his forearm and said through gritted teeth, “Stop it—”

Tommy ripped his arm out of her grasp and swatted her away before pointing at Jack. “You’ve got no right to talk down to me. Look in the fucking mirror.”

With that, he finally quit talking. Jack’s cheeks felt like they were on fire, and he bit down on his lip so hard that he could almost taste blood. He was too angry to think, much less respond, so he sat there quietly fuming as his body began to shake. 

“What?” Tommy huffed a laugh. “Nothing to say for yourself?”

Jack’s fist tightened around his spoon until his palm began to hurt. Finding his voice, he muttered the words he should’ve said hours ago: “Get out.”

“Pardon?”

“Get out,” he repeated more forcefully, releasing his spoon and sending it clattering onto the table. “It’s time for you to leave.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows and stared at him for a moment before scoffing. “Fine.” He leaned back and scooted away from the table, his chair scratching against the floor. “With pleasure.” He stood up quickly, almost causing the chair to fall backwards onto the ground. Tugging on the back of Lilly’s chair, he said, “Come on. Get up.” 

She looked up at him, bewildered. “What?”

“Let’s go. We’re gettin’ out of this dump.”

“N-No, I’m not—”

“Lilly, so help me God, I will have your ass shipped back to Boston like that.” He snapped his fingers. “Don’t test me. We’re leaving.”

She paused with her mouth agape and widened her eyes at him. She whimpered, “But—” 

“Don’t.”

Her lips shook slightly, and she pressed them together. She looked at Jack, her eyes begging him to step in, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He was too overwhelmed, too angry, so he broke eye contact with her and stared down into his bowl. 

After a moment, he heard her breathe a shaky sigh and then the scraping of her chair as she stood up. He glanced up long enough to see Tommy grab her wrist and begin pulling her towards the door. On the way out, she looked back at him, the hurt on her face making his chest ache. Unable to bear it, he glued his eyes to the table.

He stayed in that position, his heart heavy as he listened to the sound of the car start up outside and then gradually fade away as it left the ranch.

———

Lilly stared blankly forward, listening as the ticking of the clock on the wall rhythmically punched through the silent room. She was curled up in a fetal position, sinking into the plush mattress beneath her as the familiar softness of the Blackwater Hotel's silk sheets grazed her skin. Her eyelids were heavy; she had spent the entire night lying awake, frozen in that position with a thousand thoughts and emotions flying through her head.

Meanwhile, Tommy slept slouched back in a stiff, ornate armchair in the corner of the room— as if letting her have the bed for herself could in any way make up for what he'd done. He was still sitting there now; she could feel his eyes on her back. He'd been trying to talk to her all morning, but she refused to acknowledge him. Unless the words coming out of his mouth were an apology, she wasn't interested. And of course, they weren't.

Though she supposed it wasn’t her that was owed an apology anyway. She could only imagine how upset Jack was, and it broke her heart to think of him sitting all alone in that house after all of that. She wished she hadn’t let Tommy drag her out of there; she should’ve fought to stay. She should’ve made sure that Jack knew Tommy’s words didn’t at all reflect how she felt about him. But instead, she had just let it all happen. 

Lilly stiffened as Tommy began to drum his fingers on the wooden arm of his chair, matching the beat of the clock. “So…” he said with an impatient sigh, “are you gonna be finished sulking any time soon? I’m starving; I wanna go get lunch or somethin’.”

She clenched her jaw, her breathing kicking up as a wave of anger rushed through her. Biting her lip, she tried to push away the urge to snap back at him. She knew that was what he wanted, and she knew that she shouldn’t entertain him— the best thing to do was continue to ignore him. But as her anger rose, she couldn’t stop herself.

Abruptly sitting up, she turned and glared at him. In as even and quiet a voice as she could, she said, “I can't believe you.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and slumped back in his chair. “Oh, here we go.”

“You had no right. No fucking right to speak to him that way.” Her voice rose, and she grit her teeth. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, please. Spare me the lecture.” He gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “I did you a favor.”

“A favor?” she spat, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and gripping the edge of the mattress with both hands.

“That's right.” He leaned forward in his seat, holding her gaze. “Maybe you don't wanna admit it, but I can see it. There's something very off about that boy— something very off about both of you.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “And whatever’s going on here, whatever hole you’re digging yourself into, I’m not letting it continue. I can’t.”

She scoffed. “What are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong—”

“Just stop, Lilly. You’re not as good a liar as you think you are.”

The accusation made her falter a bit, and she broke eye contact with him. She hated him for the way he could see straight through her, and she hated herself for slipping up while talking to those government agents. He wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her careless mistake, and now that he knew something was wrong, there was nothing she could do to convince him otherwise. 

But what was she supposed to do? She couldn’t tell him what was going on with the agents. She couldn’t tell him Jack had killed one of them. He would freak out. 

Seeing no good alternative, she chose to double down on her denial. “There’s nothing wrong with him,” she mumbled, staring at the floor. “You don’t know anything about him.”

Tommy let out a derisive laugh. “I know plenty. I know—”

“Whatever you think you know is wrong,” Lilly interrupted, not raising her head.

The room went quiet again, and she once again felt his eyes boring into her. After a moment, he clicked his tongue, slapped his palms against the arms of his chair, and stood up. She warily looked up at him. 

“Fine,” he said with a tight-lipped smile. “Let’s say I am wrong— which I’m not, by the way.” He crossed his arms and strolled closer to her, stopping at the foot of the bed and leaning against the bedpost. “What exactly are you planning to do here anyway?”

She glared at him, knowing he wasn’t really looking for an answer to that question.

“You wanna go stay in that dump with him forever?” he asked. “You really wanna spend your life on some shit-stinkin’ farm with some shit-stinkin’ brat who acts like he walked straight outta one of those stupid books you like to read?” He scoffed. “The hell has gotten into you? Have you lost your mind?”

Lilly pursed her lips and looked back down at the floor. It was true that living on the ranch wasn’t all fun. The endless chores weren’t pleasant— they were dirty and exhausting, and she wasn’t great at them. Still, she’d never felt happier than she did while living on that farm. The place was beautiful, and she didn’t care if Tommy disagreed with that.

She loved getting to spend nearly every day in the sun, feeling the fresh air in her lungs and listening to the birds chirping. Even more so, she loved getting to spend time with Jack. There was something special about him— something she’d never felt in anyone else before. He was the strongest, most resilient person she’d ever met, and he couldn’t even see it. Of course, he could be a bit abrasive at times, but underneath all of that, he was remarkably thoughtful and sensitive. 

The thought of him panged her heart, and her bottom lip began to wobble. Meeting Tommy’s eyes again, she croaked, “I love him.”

He rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose. “You’ll get over it.”

Get over it? How was she supposed to just get over it? She shook her head. “I won’t. I— I can’t.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to find a way,” he said, pushing himself off the bedpost to stand up straight. “‘Cause I think it’s about time for you to go home— past time, really.”

Her heart jumped into her throat, and she drew in a sharp breath. “What? No! I don’t wanna go home.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to,” he snapped back. “I’m telling you that this little adventure of yours has gone on long enough, and I’m sick of it. I’ll give you a few days to get all your shit together. Then, we’re goin’ home.”

She sprang to her feet. “No! I’m not—”

“It’s not up for discussion!”

Lilly widened her eyes at him, her entire body going rigid. She searched his face, praying to find a crack in his resolve, praying to find some sign that he didn’t mean it. But his gaze remained firm. He was really planning on forcing her to go home. She felt like the floor was going to crumble underneath her feet, and tears came rushing into her eyes. 

“Oh, don’t,” Tommy warned. “Do not start cryin’. You’re not manipulating me— not this time.”

A few tears rolled down her cheeks, and she angrily swiped them away. “You’re an asshole!” She lowered her voice and choked, “I hate you.”

He drew back a bit, the slightest hint of hurt and guilt flashing across his face. He pursed his lips and shook it away. “I’m trying to protect you. Whether you wanna realize that or not.”

“Protect me how? By making me miserable? By taking away the only happiness I’ve found since Daddy died?” She let out a quiet sob. “All you’re doing is hurting me.”

“I’m hurting you?” he asked, jamming a finger into his chest. “You ever stop to think about all the people you’ve been hurting? What about Ma? Do you have any idea how worried she’s been about you? Do you know how hard it’s been for me to watch her cry over you being missing when I knew full well where you were?”

Lilly sniffled and clenched her jaw, wiping away more stray tears. Was she supposed to care that her mother was upset? After everything that woman had done— after all the years of torment Lilly had endured at her hand— she had some fucking nerve to sit and cry over her now. 

Tommy added, “Y’know, when those government fucks came knockin’ on her door, she thought they were comin’ to tell her that you’re dead. She has been distraught every hour of every day since you left.”

Looking him straight in the eyes, she responded with a callous, “So?”

“So?” he echoed, drawing back in disgust. “You don’t think that’s cruel?”

Trembling, Lilly grit her teeth. “I don’t care what it is.”

Her words hung in the room like a heavy fog, and Tommy froze, a look of horror settling onto his face. For once in his life, he seemed to be speechless, and Lilly couldn’t help but take some pleasure in that.

Huffing out his shock, he turned away from her, leaving her staring at the side of his face. When he spoke again, his voice was ominously calm: “Y’know what? I’ve changed my mind,” he said. “Tomorrow. Your ass is goin’ home tomorrow.”

All of the satisfaction she felt washed away in an instant, and her heart sank to her stomach. “But—”

“Don’t,” he growled. “This conversation is over.” He looked at the floor for a moment then gave her a cold glance. “I don’t wanna look at you anymore.” With his fists clenched at his sides, he took off to the door of the hotel room and tore it open. Keeping his back turned to her, he paused in the doorway and said, “You stay here. Maybe think about what you’re gonna say once you get home.”

With that, he stepped out into the hall, slamming the door behind him. As she listened to the muffled sound of him stomping away, she felt another wave of tears rising up inside of her. Letting out a frustrated sob, she threw herself back down onto the bed and shoved her palms against her eyes. Tears wet her hands as they fell from her eyes in rivers, unable to be held back.

She should’ve just kept her mouth shut; she should’ve quit while she was ahead instead of going and pissing Tommy off. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t go home. She couldn’t face that horrible woman again. She couldn’t leave Jack. She wouldn’t.

As her mind raced, it became harder and harder for her to breathe, and her silent tears gave way to quiet sobs. For a while, she stayed there on the bed and cried, letting all of her frustrations and fears stain her cheeks until nothing came out anymore. By the time it was over, her chest felt heavy, and the walls of the hotel room felt oppressive.

Feeling an overwhelming urge to get out of there, she stood up from the bed and headed for the door. She knew Tommy would be annoyed with her for leaving the room— he had told her to stay there— but that didn’t stop her from grabbing onto the door knob anyway. In fact, it only made her want to leave even more. He had no right to tell her what to do.

Lilly cracked the door open and poked her head out, holding her breath as she looked up and down the hall to check if Tommy was nearby. As far as she could tell, the hallway was empty, so she let out a breath of relief and slipped out of the room. She tiptoed to the staircase and descended a few steps before peeking over the railing to the floor below, once again checking for Tommy. When she was certain he wasn’t down there either, she lowered her head, hurried down the remaining stairs, and rushed out the hotel’s front door.

As she stepped onto the sidewalk, closing the door behind her, she didn’t lift her head once. Nor did she make any effort to wipe away the tracks of tears still staining her cheeks. She kept her eyes trained on her feet, which moved automatically in whichever direction they pleased. 

As she weaved through the townspeople on the sidewalk, their voices suddenly hushed, and she could feel the judgemental stares being shot her way. That wasn’t anything new, of course, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t irk her a little. She could only imagine what they were thinking— what kind of outlandish rumors they were constructing in their heads to explain her behavior. Knowing them, they’d likely assume it was Jack’s fault.

She had almost forgotten how much she hated being in town. She had gotten so used to the peace and solitude of Jack’s ranch. She wanted nothing more than to be back there again. Tears began to fill her eyes again, and she wrapped her arms around herself and sped up. 

Eventually, she made it to the docks at the end of the street, and unsure of where else to go, she climbed the steps onto the platform. By then, the tears were once again flowing freely down her cheeks. Thankfully, there weren’t nearly as many people hanging around the docks as there were by the street, and the people that were there didn’t seem to pay her any mind. 

Finding a bench beside the ticket office, Lilly sat down with her head hung and let the tears drip down onto her lap. The fresh air and cool spray from the lake were welcome changes, but they did little to lessen the weight in her chest.

After a few minutes of quietly crying, she was interrupted by a timid voice asking, “Are you okay, miss?”

Lilly looked up, meeting the eyes of a young boy dressed in shabby clothing. His brows were drawn together as he stared back at her with a sweet and genuine look of concern. She wiped her eyes and sat up straighter, mustering up a smile for him. “Yes. Yes, I’m fine.” 

He studied her for a moment, his lip twitching into a slight frown. “You’re lyin’.”

Her smile faltered, and she blinked at him in surprise. With an uncomfortable chuckle, she lowered her head again, focusing her gaze on the boy’s shoes, which were in much better shape than the rest of his clothing. “Well, aren’t you perceptive,” she said, fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s what my pa says when I catch him lyin’ too. ‘Cept he says it a little more angry-like.” He paused. “I’m not sure he likes it very much when I tell him he’s lyin’….”

Lilly laughed and looked up at him again, sniffling. “Well, most people don’t like being called liars.”

“Huh. Maybe they shouldn’t lie then.” 

She gave a slow nod. “Yeah. Maybe they shouldn’t….”

The boy shrugged and sat down on the bench beside her, slouching and swinging his legs. He stayed quiet for a moment, staring at the side of her head as she kept her eyes forward, occasionally letting out more sniffles. 

Finally, he asked, “Say, ain't you the lady that used to play the fiddle 'round here?”

She raised her eyebrows at him, surprised that he’d remember that. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d played her violin in town— or the last time she’d played it at all. It was probably horribly out of tune by now, and the thought tugged at her heart.

“It's a violin, but yes,” she answered, giving him a sad smile. “I am.”

“Oh. What's the difference?”

Lilly pursed her lips in thought. She wasn’t actually sure what the difference was; as far as she could tell, they were the same instrument. She chuckled. “I don't know. I guess 'violin' is just what prissy people like me call it.”

“Prissy? Sorry, I don't know that word.” He didn’t bother waiting for an explanation before continuing, “But I always liked when you'd play while I was handin' out my papers. You're real good at it! I wish I knew how to do that.”

His words warmed her heart, bringing a more genuine smile to her face. “Well, thank you. That's very kind.”

“How come you don't do that no more?”

She hesitated a bit before answering, “Well… people stopped givin' me any money for it.”

“Why?” he asked. “They don’t think you’re good at it anymore?”

“I don’t know if that’s it…” she mumbled, rubbing the side of her neck. “I think they just don’t like me very much anymore, y’know?”

He cocked his head, staring at her like that was the silliest thing he’d ever heard. “Why not? You seem real nice to me.”

Breaking eye contact with him, Lilly chewed on her lip as she tried to think of a tactful explanation. She couldn’t exactly tell him that people in town were shunning her because they’d decided she was a hussy. But she didn’t want to just brush him off either. He seemed like a sweet boy.

Sighing, she slowly and carefully explained, “They don’t like some of the choices I’ve made and… some of the people I’ve chosen to spend time with. So they’ve decided I’m… improper.”

“Ohh.” He nodded then raised an eyebrow at her. “Because they got a stick up their ass?”

Lilly nearly choked and held a hand up to her mouth to stifle a laugh. That was so out-of-pocket; she had to have misheard him. Clearing her throat, she leaned her ear closer to him and said, “Sorry?”

“That’s what my pa says,” the boy explained nonchalantly. “Them rich folk got a stick up their ass.”

Apparently, she hadn’t misheard….

“Oh. Well…” She trailed off, giggling as she tried to come up with a response. She knew she shouldn’t encourage the kid to say things like that, but he wasn’t wrong. Besides, his father had already said it to him. Who was she to undermine what he’d been taught?

Shaking her head, she said between chuckles, “Y’know what? That’s exactly right; they sure do.”

He gave her a toothless grin and snickered. Then, his brows furrowed. “Are those people what’s makin’ you sad?”

“No. I don’t care about them. Not really….” She smiled at him, a twinge of sadness still present on her face. “And you don’t need to worry about me, okay?”

The boy hummed, chewing on his lip as he thought for a moment. “Oh! Are you sad about that government man?” he asked, ignoring her hint for him to drop the subject. “Lots of people are sad about that today.”

Lilly furrowed her brows at him and straightened up a bit. “Huh?”

“They said that government man that went missin’ was found all shot up and dead yesterday.” 

Her heart skipped a beat, and she stared back at him, dumbfounded. “W-What government man?” she stammered. It was a stupid question. She knew exactly who he was talking about; she just didn’t want it to be true.

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” he asked. “Everyone’s been talkin’ about it. He went on a huntin’ trip in Mexico and disappeared. Everyone was hopin’ they’d find him okay, but today’s paper said he got killed good. Ain’t never comin’ back.

“My pa says it serves him right for hangin’ around in bandit country though, says he ‘got taught a lesson’. I don’t know how he learnt a lesson if he’s dead though. That don’t make much sense to me. Does that make sense to you, miss?”

“No… not really,” she replied distractedly. “Um, what was his name?”

“Edgar Ross,” he answered, confirming her fears beyond any doubt. “He was a real big deal they say— even made it to the front page next to all the war stories. And there’s a lot of those, y’know. You gotta have heard about them…”

Lilly’s mind reeled, and as the boy began to drone on about the war, she couldn’t focus on a single word he said. She couldn’t believe they’d found him; she and Jack had been holding out hope that they never would. It was the last crutch they had to lean on. And now, it was gone. 

Her heart raced, and suddenly, she felt like a fire had been lit underneath her. She couldn’t keep sitting around feeling sorry for herself. In that moment, none of what had happened over the past couple of days mattered anymore. She needed to get back to Jack; he needed to know about this. She had to get ahold of that newspaper article and see what exactly was written— and more importantly, go show it to him.

Swallowing her unease, she cut off the paper boy’s rambling with a gentle, “Hey.” When she had his attention, she pointed at the bag around his shoulder. “Could I have a copy of the paper? All of that stuff sounds… very interesting.”

He stared at her a moment, mouth agape as he processed her question. Then, he shook his head. “Oh, sorry. I’m all sold out now.” Leaning closer to her, he opened his bag to show her it was empty. 

She sighed and whispered, “Damn it.”

“Yeah. Sorry. There’s been a lotta big news lately, and people were real interested in this one since that government man decided to die. They bought ‘em all up real fast.” He slouched. “I got a buncha money, but now I gotta sit here all day doin’ nothin’ ‘til my momma comes to get me.”

Squirming in her seat, she mumbled, “That doesn’t sound fun.”

“No. It doesn’t,” he agreed. “Normally, I don’t run out so quick. I was gonna maybe walk home by myself, but I think it’s too far. And my momma would get upset at me. She gets nervous…”

Lilly nodded along as he continued, pretending to listen as she got lost in her own head.

Where else could she get a paper? She’d passed a few people around the street reading them, but she doubted any of them would be willing to give theirs to her if she asked. They’d probably throw it in the trash before they’d give it to her. 

The thought caused a light to go off in her head, and she perked up a bit. She could just go find one in the trash. The cans scattered around the city were usually full of newspapers; it wouldn’t be hard to find one. Disgusting and unpleasant maybe, but not hard.

Determination coursing through her veins, she jumped up to her feet. The boy suddenly went quiet, staring at her with an inquisitive look on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head and impatiently bouncing on her toes. “I— I hate to leave, but I just realized— I think my brother’s probably lookin’ for me.” Hopefully, that wasn’t true. She gave a nervous laugh. “I shouldn’t keep him waiting; he’s… not a very patient man.”

“Oh,” the boy said, the slight slump of his shoulders giving Lilly a twinge of guilt. Quickly wiping the disappointment from his face, he shrugged and smiled at her. “Well, that’s okay. I don’t want him to get mad at you. I know what that’s like; my pa don’t like waitin’ around neither. It was nice to meetcha though.”

“You too,” she said, touched by his thoughtfulness. “You’re very sweet. You… you’ve helped lift my spirits a little.”

He perked up at that, alleviating some of the guilt Lilly felt for leaving. She bid him another quick goodbye and scurried away from the docks, heading back to the street to find herself a newspaper. At first, her plan was to beeline for the first garbage can that caught her eye, but the amount of people around made her nervous. So she decided to go find one in a more secluded area instead.

She ended up ducking into the alleyway that ran behind the hotel, knowing the surrounding businesses kept their trash back there, and the area was usually empty. This time was no different; the only souls in the alley were a couple of stray dogs that were busy eating some creature she couldn’t recognize. The sight— and smell— made her stomach turn, and she averted her gaze.

Lilly approached the large garbage can behind the hotel, her nose wrinkled in disgust as she prepared herself for whatever nastiness would be found inside. After taking a final glance around to ensure the coast was clear, she took a deep breath, held it, and began sifting through the trash. 

It didn’t take long for her to come across a newspaper, and a quick look at the date confirmed it was the one she was looking for. Unfortunately, it also had a mysterious wet stain in the top corner, which soaked through to all of the pages. Holding onto the opposite corner with two fingers, she scanned over the front page in search of the article about Edgar Ross.

Sure enough, she quickly found it at the bottom of the page, nestled in between news about the war. The title simply read: BODY OF RETIRED BOI AGENT EDGAR ROSS FOUND IN SAN LUIS RIVER. Skimming over it, the article began with a reminder of the circumstances surrounding the man’s disappearance, which aligned pretty well with what Jack had told her. Then, it went on to explain when and where in the river he had been found and how he appeared to have been shot. Beyond that, not much detail was given. 

After that, the article went off on a tangent in which they praised Ross for his achievements and his years of service to the community and offered their condolences to his family. It then ended with a statement from law enforcement, promising to find out why this happened and bring whoever was responsible to justice. 

That last statement made Lilly’s heart sink, and her need to get back to Jack intensified. Not wanting to bring him the whole soiled newspaper, she carefully tore around the border of the article, separating it from the rest of the page.

Firmly grasping the small cut-out in one hand, she leaned over the trash can and used the other to shove the rest of the newspaper down as far as possible. Afterward, she swiped a small pile of other trash on top of it, grimacing as she tried not to think too hard about what exactly she was touching. 

“Digging in the trash, Lilly? Really?” 

The sound of her brother’s voice nearly made her jump out of her skin. Ripping her hand out of the trash can, she stepped back and stared up at him, wide-eyed.

Looking her up and down, Tommy crossed his arms and shook his head. “You truly have lost it, haven’t you? Didn’t I tell you to stay in the room?”

Once the surprise wore off, all of the anger and irritation she’d felt towards him earlier returned. “I don’t answer to you,” she muttered, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. 

He scoffed at her response then did a slight double-take as he noticed the slip of paper in her hand. He pointed at it. “What is that?”

Her heart lurched. “Nothing,” she said, curling her fist around the newspaper clipping and slipping it behind her back.

He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to her. “What do you have?”

She shrugged and looked around like she had no idea what he was talking about. “I don’t have anything.”

“Yes, you do.” He motioned to the arm hidden behind her back and marched even closer, holding his hand out. “Give it to me.”

“No.”

She flinched when he reached out and grabbed her arm, forcing it back in front of her. As he moved to snatch the slip of paper out of her hand, she turned away from him and hunched over, desperately trying to keep him from taking it. After a brief scuffle, he managed to wrestle it out of her hands, tearing off a corner of it in the process. 

Panicking, Lilly spun back around and attempted to snag it back before he could read it, but he swatted her away and raised it up over his head where she couldn’t reach it. She threw her arms down in a fit of frustration and growled, “Give it back! What is wrong with you!?”

Ignoring her protests, he held a hand out in front of him to keep her back as he lifted the paper in front of his face and read it. When he was finished, he slowly lowered it and looked up at her with an unsettled expression. “The hell is this?”

Panting, she snatched the paper back from him and turned it in her hands, examining the damage he’d done to it. 

“Lilly…” he said, his voice low. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” she grumbled, keeping her head down as she ran her finger along the paper’s ripped corner.

She heard Tommy’s breath catch, and he went quiet for a moment, continuing to stare intensely at her. “He did, didn’t he?”

Lilly didn’t answer; she tried to act as if she hadn’t heard him. 

He scoffed. “I fucking knew it. This is why those assholes came knocking on Ma’s door, isn’t it? They were looking for him. And you told ‘em he was up there, didn’t you?”

She could feel all the blood drain from her face. It was almost eerie how he managed to piece things together like that. And again, she hated him for that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted, though the shake in her voice betrayed her. “I just thought the article was interesting.”

“Oh, cut the shit, Lilly. You really expect me to believe this is all a big coincidence? Look at your face— your whole fuckin’ demeanor! Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“Yes.”

Ignoring her, he slapped his palm against his forehead and began to pace around. “I’m impressed,” he said with an incredulous laugh. “I am honestly impressed at how royally you’ve managed to fuck up here.”

Lilly watched him with pursed lips.

He stopped and leaned against the wall of a building, running his hand over the top of his pomaded hair. “Y’know, I figured you’d get yourself into some kinda trouble— that you’d get robbed or run outta money and end up on the street.” He shook his head. “But getting yourself mixed up in some bullshit with the fuckin’ federals? I never would’ve guessed.”

She looked around, making sure no one was nearby to overhear before stepping closer to him. In a hushed voice, she said, “What do you care what I do? It’s not any of your business.”

He slapped his hands back down to his sides and looked at her like she was insane. “Not my business? Of course it’s my business.” He groaned. “God, what were you thinking? Do you have any idea what you’ve done? You can’t lie to the BOI like that.”

“Well, why not?” she blurted out, frustration getting the better of her. “You lie to the cops all the time, and you tell everyone else to as well.” She crossed her arms. “I mean, you told those agents back home that you don’t know anyone in West Elizabeth, didn’t you? That wasn’t true.”

“Okay, first of all,” he said, holding up his index finger, “I didn’t lie to them. I told them I don’t know anyone from West Elizabeth. You aren’t from here, so it’s not technically a lie.”

“Oh, my God, Tommy.” She rolled her eyes. “That is such a reach! You—”

“More importantly,” he continued, dropping his voice to a furious whisper, “you didn’t lie to the cops. You purposely misled the federal fucking government! They throw people in prison for that shit!”

Lilly’s eyes widened, and she tightened her arms around herself. Getting into trouble for helping Jack wasn’t something she had considered, and the thought caused a twinge of fear to stir in her chest. “Well….” Her breath caught, and she bit her lip. “Well, I didn’t know that.”

“You shouldn’t have to. You shouldn’t be putting yourself in situations where you would need to know that.”

She stammered a bit. “What was I supposed to do?”

He didn’t answer her question. Instead, he asked, “So you admit it then?” He pointed at the newspaper article in her hand. “He did that, and you lied to those agents. Just like I said.”

Scoffing, Lilly stuffed the slip of paper into a small pocket on her shirt. “I don’t admit shit,” she snapped back. “I was asking… hypothetically.”

His hand flew to his face. “Are you fuckin’ serious right now, Lilly?”

“Yeah, I am. I—”

She cut herself off and averted her gaze to the ground. What was she doing? Why was she entertaining this argument? None of this mattered right now; it could be dealt with later. She needed to get to Jack. Lifting her head, she looked into Tommy’s eyes again and opened her mouth to tell him she was leaving. But thinking better of it, she snapped her lips shut, turned around, and walked away. 

As she sped out of the alleyway, heading for the street, Tommy’s footsteps echoed after her. “What the hell? Don’t just walk away from me,” he said. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I need to talk to Jack,” she said flatly as she rounded the corner and stepped out onto the busy sidewalk, Tommy following closely behind her. 

“No, you’re not—”

She stopped suddenly, nearly causing him to run into her, and whipped back around to face him. “Fuck you, Tommy!” she shouted, clenching her fists. “You’re not stopping me!”

He stared back at her, stunned. Then, his eyes drifted off to the side, and his face turned red. Lilly followed his gaze, finding that some of the townspeople on the street had stopped to stare at them. This didn’t faze her— those people’s opinions of her were the least of her concerns at the moment— but Tommy fidgeted a bit under their stares.

“Carry on,” he called out to them, not making any effort to conceal the irritation in his voice. “This isn’t any concern of yours.”

A mild look of shock flashed across their faces; it was clear they weren’t used to being called out for their nosiness— especially when it came to her. She had always just put her head down and tried to ignore them. This time, they put their heads down and scattered like the cowards they were, not sparing her another glance. If it weren’t for all the bullshit he’d pulled the past couple of days, she might’ve appreciated Tommy for that. 

“Nosy bastards…” he muttered, anxiously smoothing out the creases in his suit. With an irritated exhale, he turned his attention back to Lilly. “You’re not going back there; you don’t have any way to get there.”

He did have a point there. The ranch was quite a ways away, and she didn’t have a horse or any money to take a stagecoach. But he underestimated how important this was to her. She stuck her chin up. “I’ll walk.”

He snorted. “Fine. You’re gonna be walkin’ awhile.”

She crossed her arms, her determination remaining strong. “I’ll survive.” With that, she turned her back on him and took off, walking briskly down the street that led out of Blackwater. 

“You’re ridiculous!” he yelled after her. “You won’t get a mile before givin’ up and turnin’ around!”

“Watch me!” she replied without looking back.

For close to half an hour, Lilly walked along the dirt road that winded up towards Beecher’s Hope. While she had made good progress— more than the mere mile Tommy had estimated she would make it— she still had quite a bit of walking ahead of her. And she wasn’t looking forward to it. 

Her feet were already growing sore; her shoes weren’t made for walking such a long distance over such uneven terrain. Adding to that, it was chilly and windy outside, and she hadn’t brought a coat. She had to make do with wrapping her arms around herself and pulling her sleeves down over her hands, which hardly helped at all. Despite her discomfort, she continued forward at a quick and even pace. She couldn’t afford to stop; she needed to get to Jack as soon as possible. 

After a few more minutes of walking, the distant sound of a motor car’s engine reached her ears, and she quietly groaned to herself. That had to be Tommy. He just couldn’t give it up, could he? She kept her eyes focused on the road in front of her, suppressing the urge to cover her ears as the car drew closer and the sound of the engine grew more deafening. 

Over the engine’s roaring, she heard Tommy shout, “Lilly!” 

Lilly glanced over her shoulder and scowled at him before speeding up her stride, causing more pain to shoot through her ankles. “Get away from me!”

“Stop!” he demanded. “You are being so childish!”

“Piss off, blondie!”

“Blondie? Really?” 

She clenched her fists and whipped around to give him another glare. “Really!”

“You better stop!” he growled. “You’re gonna get kidnapped out here! Or… attacked by a wild animal or something! Is that what you want?”

She ignored him and sped up more.

Tommy let out a loud groan, and the car’s engine got louder as he sped up to pass her. Several feet ahead, he stopped the car, and Lilly continued towards him, slowing back to her regular pace.

As she passed by the car, he said, “For Christ’s sake, just get in. I’m not lettin’ you walk all the way up there.”

She scoffed and kept walking. Did he think she was stupid? If she got in that car, all she would get is a one-way trip back to Blackwater. “No,” she spat. “You’re just gonna turn around and take me back to town.”

“I’ll take you to your stupid brat! Just get in the fuckin’ car!” His voice cracked. “Please.”

Lilly stopped and turned around to face him. He was now leaning back in his seat, clutching his forehead with a single hand and looking utterly defeated. She scanned his expression to discern whether he was lying, but he didn’t seem to be. Still, she couldn’t be too sure with him.

She looked over her shoulder at the long stretch of road she had left to walk and scratched her sore foot against the dirt. It would be nice not to have to walk the rest of the way, and in the worst-case scenario, she could always jump out of the car. Sighing, she gave in.

Without a word, she hesitantly approached the passenger side of the car and opened the door. Before getting in, she warned, “I’m jumpin’ out the second you go off course.”

“Whatever,” Tommy mumbled with a dismissive wave of his hand. “You’re obnoxious, you know that?”

Settling in her seat, she crossed her arms and mockingly replied, “Whatever.”

Rolling his eyes at her, he sat up straight and slapped his hands onto the steering wheel. He disengaged the brake with a harsh tug and then pulled down on the throttle lever. As the car started moving again, he shook his head and grumbled to himself, “Me and my bleedin’ fuckin’ heart….”

———

Jack stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, his eyes heavy and his neck stiff from his old, flat pillow. He hadn’t managed to get any sleep the night after Lilly left, and now that the sun had been up for ages, it was clear that he wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon. 

He needed to get up. There were chores to do; he could only imagine how upset the horses and chickens were with their breakfast being delayed by several hours. But he couldn’t find the motivation to pull himself out of bed. It felt like there were weights on his chest and shackles on his wrists, pinning him to the mattress. He couldn’t have gotten up if he wanted to.

And truthfully, he didn’t want to. The second he left that bed— the second he left that room— he knew he would have to face the eerie emptiness of the house. All that awaited him was silence and the painful realization that he was all alone again. Lilly wasn’t going to be sitting in the living room, waiting to greet him. The house wouldn’t be full of the strong smell of coffee or the sound of her laughter.

The thought made his brow knit together in pain, and he rolled over, burying his face into his pillow. He shouldn’t have let her leave— shouldn’t have let her asshole of a brother force her to leave. What if he never saw her again? What if he was back to being alone for good?

He had left the door unlocked after she left, stupidly hoping she would come back and slip inside at some point in the night. Of course, she didn’t. How would she? For all he knew, she was already well on her way back home, hundreds of miles away. That seemed to be her brother’s plan for her, at least. 

The more he thought, the more it felt like his chest was about to tear itself in half. He shoved his face further into the pillow, hoping he could somehow snuff out his thoughts. 

Jack snapped his head up, sucking in a deep breath when the sound of a car reached his ears. At first, his heart swelled with hope. Maybe Lilly had come back. Maybe she had somehow convinced her brother to bring her back. But as the sound of the car drew nearer, the louder, more pessimistic voice in his head shot down his hopes. Realistically, it was likely just her brother returning to pick up her things. 

Or worse: maybe this time it was the bureau agents coming to get him….

He sat up abruptly, suddenly wide awake. The car was even louder now and growing louder by the second; it was obviously approaching the house. Jack squinted out the window, his vision obscured by the curtains. He was able to make out what he assumed to be the shadow of the car stopping near the barn. When the engine was cut off, and the noise ceased, a couple of silhouettes stepped out and began heading towards the house. 

He listened, frozen in place as a pair of footsteps stepped up onto the porch and approached the front door. The pounding on the door that followed made him jump. It couldn’t be Lilly. The knocking was far too harsh and strong to be her. He stayed in his bed, too afraid to get up and answer.

After a few more pounds on the door, he heard the knob turn, and the door creaked open. His heart raced, and every muscle in his body tensed until it hurt. He should’ve locked it. God, how stupid could he be?

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath as the footsteps barreled down the hallway and winced when his bedroom door flung open. 

“Jack!”

He opened his eyes. It was Lilly. 

All of his tensed muscles relaxed immediately, and his heart swelled with joy. She had come back. But all of that joy was washed away when he saw the distress on her face.

He started to ask, “What’s—”

“I have to show you something,” she said, her words quick and shaky.

As she plopped down onto the bed beside him and began rummaging through a pocket on her shirt, Jack caught her brother pop into the doorway. He clenched his jaw. He should’ve known that asshole would come with her; he must’ve been the one who’d pounded so hard on the door.

Tommy leaned against the doorframe and stared back at him without uttering a word. Jack held his gaze, glaring at him and hoping he could feel the disdain behind his stare. This staring match went on until Lilly nudged Jack’s shoulder to bring his attention back to her. 

She was now holding a small, wrinkled slip of paper in her hand. Extending it out to him, she breathlessly explained, “It’s a newspaper article. It’s…” She trailed off and broke eye contact with him. “You need to read it.”

The grimness in her tone made his heart sink. His hand shook as he took the paper from her and read the first, bolded line: BODY OF RETIRED BOI AGENT EDGAR ROSS FOUND IN SAN LUIS RIVER. He reread it over and over, wishing that the next time he read it, it would say something different. But every time, it was the same. His worst nightmare was permanently inked onto that page, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

He only managed to skim the rest of the article; all of the words blurred together as his brain started to lose its grip on reality. Though it didn’t really matter what the rest of it said anyway. That headline was enough. It made his chest ache, his vision blur, and his lungs forget how to breathe. It would’ve felt better to have been hit by a train. 

Wide-eyed, he looked back up at Lilly, and the sorrow on her face caused a strong pang to shoot through his chest. He tore his eyes away from her and began glancing frantically around the room, gasping as he tried to get enough air into his lungs. 

When his gaze landed on Tommy, who still stood in the doorway, another jolt of dread racked his body. Why was he here? Did he know? The thought made him sick, and suddenly, he couldn’t bear the man’s harsh stare boring into him. He couldn’t bear the stuffiness of his room. He needed to get out. 

Letting the newspaper article slip out of his hand and flutter to the floor, he jumped to his feet and hurried towards the door. 

“Jack, wait,” Lilly softly called after him.

Her words fell on deaf ears as he barreled out of his bedroom, receiving a bitter, “Watch it!” as he shoved Tommy out of the way.  

He slammed the front door open and stumbled outside, too frenzied to remember to close it behind him. As he hopped down the porch steps, he looked up at the sky, half-expecting to see it crashing down on him. A part of him was disappointed that it wasn’t— that the world outside was going on as normal as everything inside him fell apart. It wasn’t fair.

As he walked away from the house, he heard muffled arguing coming from inside, but in his state, he couldn’t make out what was being said. He kept going, panting as his feet led him to the one spot they always seemed to be drawn to: his family’s gravesite. He didn’t know why. He didn’t know what he expected to feel when he got up there, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

When he crested the hill and laid eyes on the shabby wooden crosses, he felt a knife go straight through his heart, slowly twisting until he hunched over and clutched his chest. Some of his panic faded, overtaken by an overwhelming sorrow and shame. Tears pooled in his eyes, and he looked away from the graves. 

Just as he’d done a few days before, Jack made his way to the edge of the cliff where he could look over the entirety of the ranch. He had been so proud of himself, so proud of all the work he’d done and how he’d managed to pull himself together. So proud of how proud his family would have been of him. But now, as he looked out over all that hard work again, it felt hollow.

What was all of it for?

It didn’t absolve him of anything. He’d still killed Ross, and he was still going to face the consequences for it, whatever those may be. He was going to be hanged or thrown in prison or worse, and that ranch would be left alone to rot again. Nothing he had done would matter. He’d still be a failure. A disappointment. A sorry excuse for a son. A—

His ruminations were interrupted when he spotted movement by the house. Tommy had stormed off the porch, and Lilly was chasing after him. Clearly, the fight Jack had overheard as he left the house was still ongoing. Tommy appeared to be heading to where his car was parked, arguing with her over his shoulder as he walked. 

Lilly kept yelling at him— though Jack was too far away to make out the words— and grabbed onto his shoulder in an attempt to stop him. When he shrugged her off and kept going, she stopped and slouched in defeat. Wringing her hands, she looked around until her gaze darted up to Jack.

She stared at him for a moment, and the desperation on her face was clear, even from a distance. It broke his heart. Then, curiously, it morphed into determination. She took her eyes off him and scurried to catch up to her brother, shouting a few more indistinct words at him.

This time, whatever she’d said stopped him dead in his tracks, and he looked over his shoulder at her. And after a few more words from Lilly, he slowly turned around to fully face her. Jack watched, confused, as the two began to speak more calmly to one another, occasionally glancing up at him as they did so. His heart thumped hard in his chest; he wished he could hear what they were saying. Or maybe he didn’t want to know what they were saying. He couldn’t decide.

When their conversation came to an end, Lilly clasped her hands together and held them to her chest in a pleading gesture. Jack’s stomach churned. What could she be asking him for? Was she begging him not to go turn Jack in? If so, what if he didn’t listen to her?

Tommy looked at the ground for a long moment, seemingly in thought. Then, his gaze returned to Lilly’s face, lingering there for a few seconds before flitting up to Jack. A chill ran up Jack’s spine when their eyes met, and still unable to bear the man’s stare, he stepped away from the ledge and turned his back. 

He returned to his family’s graves and surveyed them, the pit in his stomach growing and a lump forming in his throat. His eyes landed on the patch of empty space in between his mother’s and Uncle’s graves— the perfect amount of space for one more. A chill ran up his spine as he realized that it might not be empty for much longer.

With shaky legs, he approached the plot of grass and sat down on top of it, keeping his back to the cliff. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, pointing his face up to the sky. The wind blew over him, intensifying the chill he felt.

Despite the cold, he didn’t move. He figured he ought to get used to the spot, seeing as he’d likely soon be spending eternity there. Soon, he’d be left to the weeds, just as he’d left his parents to them. And maybe that was what he deserved.

The soft sound of the grass crunching behind him tickled his ears, and he got the sense of someone approaching him. Assuming that it was Lilly coming to attempt to pull him out of his despair like she always did, he kept his head down. There wasn’t anything she could say to make this better. There wasn’t anything anyone could say. 

He squirmed as he waited for her to speak, but for several seconds, there was only silence. It made him uneasy. It wasn’t like her to not say or do anything. Just as he began to consider that it might not be her, a deep voice muttered, “Hey.”

Furrowing his brows, he glanced over his shoulder just long enough to see Tommy staring down at him, hands in his pockets. Jack’s breathing kicked up, and irritation flushed his cheeks. What did this asshole want now? Why couldn’t he just go away? While a thousand other enraged thoughts flew through his mind, he kept his eyes forward, refusing to outwardly acknowledge the man’s presence.

Another uncomfortable beat of silence went by before the grass behind him crunched again. “So… this where your family’s buried?” Tommy asked, his tone more polite than Jack had ever heard it. He strolled by him to stand in front of the graves and paused to take in their surroundings. “It’s a nice spot.”

Jack stared at his feet and stayed quiet.

Tommy walked closer to his father’s grave. “Hm. This one’s kinda fallin’ apart.” He tapped the base of the cross with the toe of his shoe. “Y’know, you really can’t make grave markers outta wood; it doesn’t hold up very well.”

Jack bit his lip. He knew that. Obviously, he knew that. He knew how much he’d failed to care for his parents’ graves, and having someone else point it out only fanned the flames inside him. Finally snapping his head up to make eye contact with the man, he growled, “What do you want?”

The force of Jack’s response seemed to catch Tommy off guard but only for a second. He cleared his throat and hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I’m…” Huffing, he smoothed out the front of his coat and glanced away. “I apologize for what I said the other night. And because I’m… sorry”—he spat the last word out like it was poison in his mouth— “I’m gonna try to help out with this little problem of yours.”

Jack’s eyebrows shot up. He was offering to help? How? Or, more importantly, why? That was the last thing Jack had expected to hear, and it only made him suspicious. Drawing his brows together again, he clenched his jaw and looked away. “I don’t want your help.”

Tommy let out a frustrated sigh that came out closer to a growl. “Well, you’re gonna fuckin’ take it anyway,” he snapped back, that drop of politeness in his voice evaporating in an instant. “‘Cause now you’ve got Lilly all tangled up in this bullshit, and if she gets in trouble for tryin’ to protect your stupid ass, the law is gonna be the least of your concerns!”

The implication that Lilly could get in trouble caught Jack’s attention, and his heart sank. He never thought that was a possibility. Why would it be? “What?” he stammered, looking up in alarm. “Why would she get in trouble? She didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, yes, she did,” Tommy retorted with a scornful laugh. “You had her lie to a couple of federal agents. You can’t do that shit. Believe me, I’ve seen people get locked up for less.” Exasperated, he ran a hand through his hair, separating the pomaded strands into large clumps. “And that’s only what I know she did. God only knows what other trouble she’s gotten into.”

Jack’s mouth hung open, but nothing came out. He didn’t know what to say. He never wanted Lilly to get into trouble. If he had known, he never would’ve asked her to talk to those agents. He never would’ve asked her to stay on the ranch with him. He never would’ve even entertained a friendship with her. The thought of her being locked up because of him gnawed at his chest like nothing else. 

Tommy eyed him for a moment, fury burning behind his eyes, before continuing, “So whenever you’re finished moping around, crying, or… pissing your pants or whatever it is you’re doin’ up here” — he gestured around at the ground where Jack was sitting— “you let me know.”

With that, Tommy turned and stomped away, heading back to the hill that led down to the ranch. Jack stared after him, at a loss for words. There were too many emotions coursing through his body. Guilt at having dragged Lilly into his problems. Anger at Tommy’s insults. And of course, the fear of being caught and punished for killing Ross.

As Tommy reached the beginning of the hill, he bumped into Lilly, who was jogging up the hill to join them. She stopped in front of him, red in the face. 

“So can you help him?” she asked breathlessly, swatting her hair out of her face. “What are you gonna do?”

“Fuck if I know, Lilly,” he said, walking around her without a single hitch in his stride. “I don’t even know what all I’m dealin’ with here.”

She huffed. “Well, where are you going?”

“I’m going back to town,” he replied with strained composure. “I need you out of my face for a while.”

“What? But don’t we need to—”

He waved her off and continued to walk down the hill. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

She made a move like she was going to run after him, but she refrained and planted her feet on the ground as she watched him walk away. When he disappeared behind the cliff, she sighed and turned to look down at Jack. He averted his eyes, unable to look at her now that he knew how much trouble he’d dragged her into. The guilt ate him up inside.

She knelt down next to him. “Did he tell you he’s sorry? I swear if he didn’t, I’ll —”

“Yeah,” Jack mumbled.

“Sincerely?”

He grunted. “I ain’t sure about that….”

Lilly let out a sigh of exasperation and plopped down on her bottom beside him. “I can’t believe him,” she grumbled. “I told him to stop sayin’ horrible things about the ranch because it’s important to you— because it was important to your family. And he took what I told him and twisted it and turned it into something horrible, and I am so sorry for that.”

“Why?” he asked. “You ain’t the one that said it. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Maybe, but… it’s my fault he’s here in the first place.” She hung her head. “And I want you to know he doesn’t speak for me.”

“I know that,” he mumbled.

They went silent, Jack staring off at nothing as Lilly picked at the blades of grass underneath them. After a moment, he quietly asked without looking at her, “Did you tell him? About Ross?”

“No,” she answered immediately. “Of course not. He figured it out on his own. He caught me tryin’ to get that newspaper article to show you and just… put the pieces together. I tried to throw him off, but…” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry.” 

He exhaled through his nose, trying to hide his irritation with that. “Okay….”

“But it’s fine. It’ll all be fine. We’re gonna fix this,” she stammered, shaking her head. “Tommy’s gonna help us. I know he’s an asshole, but he’s very smart. Don’t tell him I said that.” She fidgeted with her fingernails, and Jack noted the subtle trembling of her hands. 

He eyed her skeptically. “How do you know? I just heard him tell you he doesn’t even know if he can help. And ain’t he supposed to be some kinda expert? If he thinks it’s hopeless, then—”

“Well, maybe he alone can’t,” she said. “But we can. We’re gonna talk it out tomorrow, and all of us together, we’ll figure something out.”

Jack frowned and looked away. That was what she always said. Everything would be okay. Things were gonna start looking up. They’d figure it out somehow. Yet things only ever seemed to get worse, and he didn’t have much hope that this time would be any different. 

Lilly’s brother clearly didn’t like him—  and Jack wasn’t too keen on him either— why would he put in the effort to help him? For all he knew, the guy could be heading to Blackwater to turn him in to the law right now. That or he was only planning to do the bare minimum to keep Lilly out of trouble and then throw Jack to the wolves.

Until given a real reason to think otherwise, Jack could only assume he was doomed. Giving Lilly a sideways glance, he mumbled, “I’ll believe it when it happens.”

“It will,” she said. “It has to….”

[theliterarywolf]

Hazbin Hotel

The little pilot that could, the runaway hit with the simple premise of 'What if Sinners Could Be Redeemed, What Kind of People Would Want That, and What Kind of People Would Oppose?', now turned into an Amazon Original Animated Series. Sharing the same platform as Invincible and...

Uh...

Hm.

Anyway, this series has been a long, long, LONG time coming. To the point that we had people theorizing that the whole thing was a scam or that it would never come out.

I feel like those people could use a lesson on how time-consuming animation is, but I digress.

The point is, the series is out at last: debuting with four episodes on Amazon Prime with the rest of the season scheduled to come out weekly.

And what is there to say? Was the premiere worth the wait? Are these sinners doomed to burn in obscurity? Was watching these first four episodes a Helluva chore?

While it would be easy for me, as someone who has followed the 'Hellaverse' since the premiere of the original Hazbin Hotel pilot all those years ago, to just gush over the fact that all of these beloved characters have transcended the online space to mainstream screens, such flippant praise would be a disservice to my fellow creators.

Thus, to go about things in a bit more of a refined approach:

Hazbin Hotel (the series) takes the conventions of what was established in the pilot and refines them down into a more serialized story. The core premise is still the same: Charlie Morningstar, the idealistic Princess of Hell, daughter to fallen angel Lucifer and Adam's original wife Lilith, is taking it upon herself to end the qualms of Hell being both overpopulated and a target of Heaven's yearly extermination bloodbath by establishing a sanctuary for sinners to redeem themselves. The titular 'Hazbin Hotel' (originally the 'Happy Hotel').

Of course, such a premise in a literal den of sin and inequity is easier said than done and, so far, the series is doing a good job of showing Charlie learning that redemption isn't as easy as singing songs and making nice.

Though, rest assured, there is plenty of singing to bear witness to. Of course, with a cast of Broadway's finest, it's to be expected that the musical accompaniments will be just as much as a feast for the eyes as the colorful, unique character-designs.

Though, sometimes, those character-designs aren't able to shine as much as they should, which leads into my first critique. Which, considering there are only two, stands as a testament to the work Spindlehorse and BentoBox have accomplished her.

In the first two episodes (this issue seemed to have been fixed in episodes 3 and 4), there are countless instances of characters having odd shadowing. It has the unfortunate consequence of the characters moving like they aren't a part of their environment. Of course, again, this seemed to have been fixed for later episodes, so hopefully it doesn't show up again.

Back to the music: standout pieces, thus far, are Adam's taunting "Hell is Forever (Whether You Like it Or Not)", "It Starts With Sorry", "You're a Loser, Baby"... I'd also point out the bombastic duet between young upstart overlord Velvette and arms-dealer overlord Carmilla Carmine, but I forgot the name of it.

However, this leads into my second critique. During "Happy Day in Hell", Charlie's 'I Want' song (because every princess needs one), her girlfriend and main confidante Vaggie is back at the hotel singing her own additions to it. And everytime she sang, I just wanted to scream 'Can someone PLEASE tell this bitch to emote?!' Let it be understood that I know what the direction was: Charlie is being bombastic and bright and happy singing out her dreams and goals while Vaggie is lower, more realistic, and deadpan.

However, its the way that they had her new VA execute that direction that could have been a bit better because it doesn't stand out in the best way. Which is a shame, because later on when we hear Vaggie in both her duets with Carmilla and her love ballad to Charlie, her voice does wonders. Though, I have seen some people say that it might not be the same VA, which would be weird: why would you hire a Broadway VA and then just swap them out?

Other elements of note: Episode 4 is definitely my favorite so far, I gushed about the direction and delivery of the "Poison" sequence here, Zestial is one of my new favorite Hellaverse characters, I need merch of him pronto, and...

Oh! One final note:

Back when the original HH (the series) trailer and promo material was coming out, I had a slew of anons in my inbox bemoaning how the series is yet another 'Heaven is actually evil' plot. Yet, after watching these four episodes (episodes 1-2 three times each, twice since I had early-access and once more when the series premiered proper), the series narrative is less 'Heaven is evil and Hell is just misunderstood' and more 'Angels are fallible, demons are fallible, the notion of a status-quo is as fickle as rice paper but you have to do more to change it than sing about good vibes'.

Final Rating: 8/10

[lemonhemlock]

Hi Lemon!! Have you seen Bridgerton and what are your thoughts on it? If you do not wish to attract that crowd feel free to ignore this ask I won't mind!!

i have seen all three seasons, anon, but, unfortunately, i did not like season 3 at all, i'm sorry! 😵

seasons 1 & 2 were decently entertaining but i don't think there's anything i actively liked about season 3. the plot was so contrived and even for a telenovela-like show it was really hard to believe. polin had no chemistry whatsoever, which is why i found the romance scenes.....cringe and painful. nicola is so lovely, she looked really beautiful this season (that blooming dewy makeup really suited her) and she can obviously act (love her in derry girls) but colin's actor is so... one-note, for real. watching him pretend to be in love with penelope was a downright chore. the man was giving nothing!! colin also has no personality. or, if he does, it changes without explanation and we are just told how he is and are supposed to buy into it. at one point, his mother (?) tells him how kind he is and i was like? gurl? where?

also, i have to be honest, i really can't stand penelope. i think there is a huge watsonian/doylist problem with her character in that the plotline needed her to be lady whistledown but her in-universe explanations for doing what she did are so unsatisfying. marina nearly killed herself because of what she wrote ffs! and she kind of acts like the world is unreasonably unfair. but, at the same time, i found it uncomfortable the way the show was so set on humiliating penelope with every opportunity. and it had nothing to do with the harm she caused by writing her gossip magazine, it had everything to do with the fact she was fat! it was very weird. and she IS classically beautiful, so it was also far-fetched. just very exaggerated how all the bachelors went out of their way to be so nasty to her for shits and giggles.

cressida was actually one character i found myself liking. giving her a redemption arc and fleshing her out were unexpected decisions and it piqued my interest. love a good mean girl storyline! but hers didn't make sense! she has a spectacular fashion sense and her father is very rich. why would it be difficult for her to find a husband? be so for real. her dance card is empty! all that brouhaha about her difficulties in making a match with NO man interested in her at all? please. i get that this show is not supposed to be serious, but this goes beyond my suspension of disbelief

and don't get me started on francesca's snoozefest romance. it was about as riveting as watching paint dry

the fact that they keep including queen charlotte as a character and the only thing she does is obsess over lady whistledown..... you'd think the freaking queen would have more important things to occupy her time....

also i cannot believe my girl simone ashley quit her sex education job for bridgerton and they give her fuckass to do in season 3

[logicallyblind]

someone please god join me in screaming about how well “illicit affairs” would work with a friends with benefits thiam au where theo is far more emotionally invested in it than liam is and he knows this, because every time they finish liam abruptly pulls away while telling theo that it didn’t mean anything and that he won’t ever trust him, that he’s irredeemable and that this was just a brief lapse in judgment and theo doesn’t contest him he just sits there, sheets pooling around his hips as he watches the man, the boy he couldn’t help but fall for, dismiss him in such a callous way as he bee lines towards the bathroom, the unspoken instruction that theo would be gone before liam comes out of the shower and every time it happens theo’s heart just shatters a fraction more because he knows he will never be worthy of liam, who is the epitome of Good and everything that the mccall pack embodies, of hope and forgiveness and redemption and love, theo knows he will never be allowed to have it but in those brief moments where the line blurs between chore and passion and liam’s face is pressed against his pulse point and in that brief moment theo feels what he thinks is worship of this beautiful man before him, and it fills his chest and his heart, tara’s heart, and he’s never felt something that could encompass his being in with such savage passion that he would shove his claws into his own chest and present their heart to liam like a trophy if only he’d keep his skin pressed against his own even a second longer and-

and theo takes a breath and drags his shirt over his head and slips out the window as he hears the shower head shut off the stream of water.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i really don't think it is possible for me to separate my feelings on the State Of Things In The Jianghu post-canon from my feelings on the State Of Fandom Discourse, which is probably why i struggle to muster up much interest in post-canon rehabilitation/redemption scenarios for nie huaisang. and it isn't because i don't like and enjoy his character, because i absolutely do. if you have followed me for a while now you'll doubtless have seen the screeds i've written about him, which i do specifically because i like him so much.

but ultimately the reason i still revisit the text and the show over and over again, and the reason i am still engaged in fandom discussions and discourse at all, is because of jin guangyao (and lan xichen and su minshan to slightly lesser extents) and how much he specifically rewards readers/viewers who take the time to closely read/watch his scenes with an open mind. and because i do try to prioritize canon characterization and actions first, it remains such a repetitive fucking chore to assert basic facts about jin guangyao--what he did do, what he didn't do, and what the source material intentionally leaves nebulous--and to ask, again and again, for him to be granted just a modicum of the same grace that is freely given to nie huaisang.

if the discourse was more balanced between both of these characters, maybe i would find those post-canon scenarios where nie huaisang finds peace and moves on and becomes a happier, healthier individual more compelling. as it stands though? nah. i love that little dude, but let him suffer (affectionate).

[witchthewriter]

𝑆ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑓𝑜𝑟 @crazylurkercatlady.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑢𝑏𝑡𝑒𝑑𝑙𝑦, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑎 𝑀𝑎𝑥𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑓𝑓! I think you two would be THE perfect couple! Like two witchy mums who everyone goes to when they feel sad or unsafe or in need of comfort. She would love you with every part of her being. No matter what you've done, she would accept you wholeheartedly.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

She always wakes up before you and LOVES making you breakfast in bed. It's always a range of toast and tea to pancakes and juice, to sausages and scrambled eggs with coffee. She likes trying new things with her cooking

She shows her love by doing the chores that you dislikes doing. And once you realise what she was doing, you do the same for her.

She writes you love letters all the time and leaves them around the house, in drawers, tucked beneath clothes.

Always gives you her undivided attention when you need to vent, or when you need advice or need to tell someone about how shitty everything is going.

You love gathering herbs, plants, and ingredients for witchy things. Like potions, balms and ointments. It's a bonding experience that you'll never forget. Two cauldrons, bubbling with glowing light, candles floating around you, the night sky watching through the windows. It was amazing.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

More Than A Woman by the Midnite String Quartet

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Home Is Wherever You Are

More Alike Than Different

The Moon and Her Star

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Redemption

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your creativity, that you love painting, exploring, your love for books and your loyalty. There's too much about you that she loves - she can't just pick one. You have an innate otherworldliness that Wanda picked up on when you first met, like you weren't meant for earth - but here you are.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Thor! He really brings out your outgoing side. With him, you don't care whose in the room, because Thor can handle anything and being around him makes you feel like you could take on the world.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mixture of Yelena, Nat, and Thor! You have to remember that you are a Leo Sun, Cancer Rising - the two most magnificent and alluring placements. People cannot help but be drawn to you. There's so much light and intuition that you possess, it's astounding.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

You have two birds that visit everyday that Wanda feeds from hand.

And you have your favourite pets; two cats named Artemis & Athena.

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐼𝑠𝑎𝑎𝑐 𝐿𝑎ℎ𝑒𝑦! He is such a puppy, to me he definitely has Pisces in his chart - he's loving as well as loveable, intuitive, emotional. He seems to have the ISFJ personality type; the defender/protector. He's soft-spoken, gentle and well-mannered. I think you would feel very soft in this relationship.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Whenever Isaac is feeling down, you continuously remind him that he's loved, valued and appreciated on days when he's feeling down.

Since you two would be around the same age - meaning you both know technology and how phones work. You both send each other lots of memes, Tik Toks, etc.

You constantly have to remind him of appointments, or to drink something (he's so bad at drinking water)

Daydreams about you, even though he knows he's going to see you soon. He just loves you so much.

He's always excited to plan date night, this side of him is only for you - it's special. So special to see him like this, caring so much, giving so much of himself to you.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Goodnight Sweet Possums by John Powell

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Pair of walking disasters who cannot function without the other

Would Die For Each Other

“I care about you!” (You) x “You shouldn’t!” (Isaac)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Everyone Knows But You Two

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

How you don't judge him, how much thought you put into things; how much you care about those you love. You're brilliant at gift giving, able to get the absolute perfect gift (it didn't have to be expensive but what the person needs). And Isaac would start to see how others interact, what issues other people had - rather than be wrapped up in his own. You, without knowing it, make him a better person.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Allison and Lydia! I think you three in a sort of ... girl group, would be very interesting. You would be the one to cross the bridge between the pair, be the glue. But you would also have ties to Beacon Hills - possibly you come from a long line of family witches?

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix of Allison, Scott and Stiles. Open-minded, quick-witted, caring, a bit of a motherly side. You care about people, you want to help others, but also like being on your own, you like your solitude.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

A huge, mostly black cat with white hair. He's your familiar, and follows you almost everywhere (except into dangerous situations or when you go to the mall).

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐘

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑏𝑠 𝑇𝑒𝑙𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑑! The most knowledgable, wise and witty of the Sons. I think he would be a great match for you because even though he isn't as chaotic, he's still silly and loves cracking jokes. He's humorous, and when you're together - that humour is off the charts.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Chibs always has a knack for making you feel safe. Even when he isn't there, you know that you're safe. You don't mind having a Prospect over when they're doing particularly dangerous things, so long as he keeps to himself.

When Chibs is home, he gives you the best affection possible. Hugs, kisses, stroking your hair, letting you fall asleep on him, caring you to bed, forehead kisses. You'd be touch-starved no longer.

He loves having you on his bike. You're the only other person who is allowed to sit on the bike by yourself.

He's kept every promise you have ever told him and vice versa

Type of person to purchase little gifts that made Chibs think of you

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Hurricane by Possessed Paul James

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Cautious (You) x Reckless (Chibs) he always says, "life's short sweet heart - let's make the most of it, eh?"

"You wear the pants in this relationship" (You said to him) x "oh I wish, I cannot control you at all" (His response)

Gives Necklace x Wears It Everyday No Matter What

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Enemies to Lovers

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

He loves how feral you can become. Chaotic, frenzied and hyper. He loves that energy because it makes him feel young, it makes him feel energised. You are unlike any other person he'd known. Yes you can have similarities to others, but the core of you is so interesting, the way your brain works - it blows his mind.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Tara! You both have a maturity that not many in this club/family do. You also cannot believe HOW she's a full-on doctor, and a full-time mother. You constantly commend her, and remind her of that. And if she ever needs help, you'll be there (somehow you do end up helping with the boys a lot.)

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

I think you're a mix of Tara; maturity, intelligence, kindness, Gemma; sense of self-preservation, hypervigilance, wit and self-awareness and Opie; introspective, loyal, committed and a great companion.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

You have two cats

Your first is the beautiful fluffy white one and most recently, you got a black and white kitten. Funnily enough, they actually get on very well. Chibs isn't much of a dog person, and actually likes cats a lot.

Btw I also have ADHD & Autism! I would love to hear your experiences and what has helped you. I only got my diagnosis a few months ago, but everything seemed to make so much more sense. Everything I used to get painfully in trouble for, was actually a response from my brain that I could not control. Knowing that has brought up so much emotion from me and it's hard.

[haleigh-sloth]

What are your thoughts on Hazbin? Also, fav song? 👀

Favorite songs: Stayed Gone, Loser Baby, Hell is Forever

But seriously all the music slaps hard. It’s so good.

Thoughts: many

I’ll start with the smaller thoughts and leave the longest (Alastor) for last.

Vaggie is pleasantly explored. I’m surprised in a good way. I also love Charlie and feel like her strength isn’t really on full display yet lol. Exciting.

Angel Dust—my son. Husk—my son in law.

Angel Dust and Husk—I didn’t catch the vibe the first watch through but the second time? Oh they’re gonna be in love later if they aren’t already. I rarely care about ships but I LOVE this one. Good job Hazbin.

I really do like the Vees. They’re clearly antagonists and represent negative effects of social media and technology influence among other things. I mean no they aren’t likable as people, but I certainly like them as characters. I’m excited to see them more.

Everyone else is just fun. I love the found family/home vibe of the hotel. It’s so comforting to me.

Now really, my favorite is Alastor. Shocking I know.

Currently I can’t take my focus off of him. My gut told me he’s a good character to latch onto, and I feel like my gut was right.

I always want a happy ending for my blorbos and I feel like I hit the jack pot here bc he seems like a chaotic “control the game board” type of character (like Izaya, Shigure, Mephisto, etc.). But I think he’s ultimately going to be a benevolent force in the story for what the story is showing (redemption and salvation!).

I’m obsessed with his relationship to Charlie the most, but also I’m just very honed in on how his attachment to the hotel will change throughout the series.

Alastor is hard to read. He’s just a fun little guy. He seems sadistic and uncaring. Emotionless and like an overlord with pretty much no other motive besides power and freedom (regaining what he had before his fight with Vox 7 years ago is what his surface level motive seems to be).

But I cannot take my eyes off of how he’s puts a lot of effort into Charlie and what she wants.

In the pilot he says it’s for shits and giggles, and I’m sure he tells himself it is. But the way he is in the main series (meaning after the pilot) is just very questionable when you remember what he said his motive was. He does a whole lot more than someone who doesn’t actually give a shit.

Sure, it’s nothing for him to defend the hotel really. A mindless chore. But I started getting like ???? when Lucifer showed up. Lucifer clearly bothers Alastor (the frame was deliberately showing Alastor’s eye twitch when Lucifer showed up at the hotel and hugged his daughter). Then of course there was the hilarious “I’m a better dad than him” bit that made me lose my mind. Then in the second to last episode Alastor said “it’s not like you’ve ever failed to inspire before”—obviously meaning himself, has me even more like ???!!!! Something about Charlie inspires him and gets him up and moving and I just love that and want to explore it more and see what that brings for him.

The finale episode shows him starting to crack. He laughs at the thought of almost dying for his friends—the notion hilarious to him. Except he DID ALMOST DIE FOR HIS “FRIENDS”. And I think the reality of that freaks him out. I don’t think he’s very in tune with how he really feels about the company he has right now. Not yet. I really do think right now he’s focused on revenge against Vox, bc he’s openly competitive against him and clearly has a vendetta. I think that clouds everything else with him right now and it’ll be a problem later.

I’ve also gotta give it to a couple of other pals who basically confirmed for me that Alastor’s character is heading for redemption. The kind of redemption the hotel aims for (whether that ends with a place in heaven or not idk or care bc I just want him to have a happy ending with everyone). He doesn’t know this, or acknowledge this. But Charlie’s influence is contagious and Alastor is already infected by it a little. It’ll become more obvious later I think as everyone else around Charlie finds love and happiness in the hotel. We’re already seeing it with Angel and Husk and we saw it with Sir Pentious. Alastor won’t be immune from this I’m sure. Which is what I’m the most excited for. I want to see that man change—and he already is but I want to see more. I can see Alastor accepting salvation/redemption as a major obstacle or barrier and probably something very important for Charlie to accomplish, but I think it’ll be one of the best things in the series too.

Alastor is clearly the creator’s baby. He’s obviously the most complex and has the most going on internally. She’s said he’s existed since she was in high school. He’s important to her and important to the show and I can tell the show will take good care of him. I’m very, very excited for it.

I haven’t felt this excited about something in a while so it’s nice and refreshing. I love the show as a whole but I’m so down for Alastor and his arc. I don’t think I’ll be disappointed.

[gurokichi]

Hehe, no need to apologize for getting excited! I love being your Doll and am so happy to see how excited you got when I called you my bon <3

All of the inverts take care of themselves most of the time, other than making sure they have enough food and water; And we've almost always had cats and dogs so it would be more of a chore to not take care of them! The chickens are the ones that feel out of the way in my daily life, but they are great, so I don't mind!

Most people think the feeling of someone watching them is unsettling; but when I know it's just you, it's so nice and cozy!

Bon really knows how to fluster it's Doll (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ⁄ ⁄ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

You enjoy such a variety of games! Doll also love loves pixel art, so pretty! I've always been interested in Stardew Valley because of the graphics, I'm honestly happy I haven't gotten it already after hearing about Fields of Mistria!!! It looks so pretty! Doll wouldn't be able to keep up playing so many different games at once, how does Bon do it!!! That issue with steam sounds so annoying,,, I used to share a Spotify account with a friend and it'd do the same!!! Ooo, I've watched see my brothers play red dead redemption 2 before, usually I don't like games like that but I've actually been quite interested in it, I may give red dead 2 a try one day! Doll would probably accidentally abuse their horse too, Doll doesn't game much so wouldn't be used to the controls (╥﹏╥)

Recently ive played Minecraft, Sims 4, fallguys, and a few games on roblox if I play with friends,,, but I also a few on my list to play once I get a computer, which should hopefully be soon ^^ league of legends, stardew valley, and now Fields of Mistria, sweet pool, slow damage, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some-

Sorry this response has taken so so long!!! Doll keeps on getting busy, I hate it I just wanna spend time with My Bon~

-Your Dolly 🎀💕

You really love being my doll? Yay!!◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ I'm glad that I can make you happy, my doll deserves to be.

Ah, that's really cool!! How come you keep so many different animals? I wish I could have a pet, but the others who live here are very against having anything besides people living in the house. I once got close to convincing them to let me keep rats, though. Did not happen in the end </3

Stardew Valley is definitely worth a try, even if you get Fields of Mistria. It has a lot more content, and if you get it on PC, there are tons of mods that you can use to add even more content and make it look the way you want it to! As for me playing so many games, I have a lot of free time on my hands. I don't have much else to do... most of my time is just spent waiting for someone to come talk to me. Everyone else is busy with their own things, so I gotta kill time somehow while waiting for them. I find RDR2 interesting so far; it's definitely not something I'd usually play either. Someone I know seems to really like it, and I also used to watch my brothers play, so I decided to finally pick it up. Ehehe, I'm sure you'd get the hang of it eventually!! The controls are pretty confusing, though..

Ah, I've played all of those before! What do you enjoy doing in Minecraft and the Sims? What games do you like playing on Roblox? I hope that you're able to get a computer soon to play all the games that you want to play!! I've heard of LoL but never played it myself. You'll have to let me know if it's fun. I only know of Slow Damage after looking through your blog, but not what it's about. I've never heard of Sweet Pool. What are those two games?

That's totally okay, Dolly. No need to apologize; I understand you might be busy, and I don't mind waiting. It's not like I'm going anywhere, so take all the time you need to reply!! (≧◡≦) ♡

[sednonamoris]

okay since i’ve just been saying things lately let’s keep these good vibes going and talk ghost story modern au 👻

in my head this whole situation is wildly different bc. well that’s the point of a modern au

john is a troubled criminal. he and abigail accidentally had jack quite young and john has been in and out of prison in the meantime for robberies and gang involvement etc. he’s a bit of a deadbeat. she keeps pushing for child support and he keeps insisting he’s not the father and it’s messy and they have definitely hit one another in more than one court room and subsequently been excused

the van der linde gang went down recently after micah got in bed w the law, working out a deal where he and dutch went free but everyone who didn’t get out soon enough took the fall. arthur was killed in the takedown. john, after watching his brother die and having been left for dead himself, has not only a chip on his shoulder but some decent time to do. towards the end of his sentence he participates in a criminal reformation program involving equine therapy

ghost is actually not a criminal in this one, and their family is still alive; they help run their family’s big ranching operation which just so happens to do outreach programs w the nearby prison. this is how they meet john

it’s john’s first time really handling a horse, and as ghost shows everyone how to muck stalls and mend fences and other basic horse/farm care, john finds that his determination to hate the whole program fades away. he’s mesmerized by ghost’s easy competency, and is now determined to match that skill. he starts asking questions and trying to pick up extra chores on every visit

when it comes time to assign the mustangs that each prisoner will work with and gentle, he’s easily the best in the group. john chooses a proud, crest-necked flaxen liver chestnut horse he calls old boy. at the program’s graduation, when the horses are publicly auctioned, ghost wins the bid for old boy. john is sad to leave him but thrilled he ended up w ghost, and ghost tell him that when he gets out he should stop by to visit

as soon as his sentence is up he does, and ghost’s father promptly offers him a job. he’s still a novice in all things ranching, but he’s loyal and he works hard and when they have problems with predators on the property line he’s the first to grab a rifle and volunteer to run them off. he and ghost forge a close, pining friendship, and after his first year there they officially gift him old boy back. he cries

it’s a whole new take on redemption for john. as he leans into his new responsibilities he starts to realize he can’t abandon his old ones and begins paying child support and visiting the son he’s barely fathered and the single mother he left to do it all. ghost’s dad is really proud of him, and so is ghost. when jack comes by the ranch ghost gives him his first riding lesson. they offer to teach abigail too, but she insists she likes her feet on solid ground. while ghost and jack are busy abigail advises john to act on his budding feelings for ghost, and not to mess things up this time

ghost loves dancing, so john mans up and asks them if they’d like to go out on the town with him. they grab some drinks at the local dive-bar and then ghost lights up once the line dancing starts. john has two left feet but he joins in beside them and they dance the night away, eventually confessing their feelings. they definitely fuck in the truck before heading back to the ranch (whore behavior)

then the paths diverge. either this is the redemption john didn’t realize he needed that he keeps earning every day and it’s happily ever after, or he learns about micah from sadie and they track him down and kill him. then things would spiral into a modern rehash of rdr1 where he’s eventually forced to track down his old gang members for arrest and instead of his promised immunity they lock john up again/stage an ‘accident’ :)

this is sort of the bare-bones Vision but i do daydream abt it often…. ❤️‍🔥

[pookiecowpoke]

Hi!

I don’t usually request anything, but I’m super curious! Could you write something for Bonnie Macfarlane and Arthur Morgan? They are one of my favorite pairings from Red Dead. I also have a couple of others that are pretty rare; Bonnie/Algernon Wasp and Micah/Mary-Beth.

I’d be excited to see any of those :)

Flowers by the Shoreline

Pairing: Micah Bell/Mary-Beth Gaskill

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption II

Rating: Mature

Word count: Just over 2000

Tags: Warnings: Sexism, racism, animal abuse (this is micah we are talking about, but that doesn’t make it okay), gift-giving, acts of affection, insecurities

Comments: After a very long break I’m back to writing requests! All other peeps are on the way I promise! 

So, I’ve been playing Red Dead Redemption lately and I have to say I can’t stand Bonnie. I’m sorry, I know she’s supposed to be this head strong independent woman, and I support that but I can’t stand her voice anytime I’m doing a mission for her. Why is she screaming at me, why is she insulting John so much, please Bonnie calm down QAQ. And I like the idea of Micah and Mary-Beth ever since watching Micah get rejected by Mary-Beth in Chapter 3 (was it chapter 3? idek it was so long ago). I may have went a little overboard focusing on Micah’s insecurities and emotions, and may have turned it into a character study, but it’s okay XD. I hope you enjoy this! 

Micah Bell the third only ever had 2 things on his mind: money and women. Money was easy. He had always had a knack for landing a score, whether that was through violence or his cunning mind. Money turned him on almost as much as women did, but women were a much more difficult thing for Micah to conquer. 

They were a mystery that usually just frustrated him more than it was worth to touch their soft flesh and feel their warm bodies. Even whores stayed clear of him. It was humiliating. The women at camp only glared and gave fake smiles at best when he was around. 

But oh, when Arthur fuckin’ Morgan was around all the women flocked to him. What did Arthur have that he didn’t? He drank just as much booze as he did, sure Morgan was maybe a better shot then Micah, but they still did about the same amount of chores at the camp. Well… when Charles or that O’Driscoll cunt didn’t already have them done…

Yet, all the women, even Abigail who was techincally John’s, would go to him for every one of their needs or wants. Morgan was gone most days and they still gathered around him when he returned and asked after him every waking second of the day. It disgusted Micah that they blantantly held favortism. 

He would never approach Tilly, even if she had the most beautiful dark skin and wore that yellow dress that made her look like a little sunflower. He wouldn’t stoop that low. 

Karen had nice tits and wasn’t afraid to drink, but she was loud. God awful loud, like a bird choking on a fish. Plus, Micah was sure Sean would throw a fit if he ever tried to make a move on Karen. Sean’s annoying Irish whine was almost worse than Karen’s drunken squawking.

Abigail, oh she was pretty. He cursed the day John went and got her pregnant, officially ending her whoring days five years ago. She even had a cute snorting laugh, but only Morgan and Hosea seemed to get her to let it out. Her kid, whatever his name was, was a pest that would run around without a care in the world. Not to mention if Micah was messing around with her, he’d have Marston, Morgan and the Old man gunning for him. Blegh, no thank you. 

Miss Grimshaw was too old for Micah’s standards. She acted like there was a stick up her ass, and maybe there was. She used to be Dutch’s bitch all those years ago, making it a bit of a taboo to even attempt to approach her. Same went for Molly, as pretty as she was. Those two were off limits, as far as Micah could tell. 

Mrs. Adler was just about as wild as she was attractive, and she would probably cut his pecker off if he approached her. She was sobbing most the time anyway.

That just left Mary-Beth, the hopeless romantic. Micah genuinely liked Mary-Beth and her low cut dress. Sure, he didn’t really understand some of her rambling wants about some fantasy guy who oftentimes sounded a lot like Morgan, but her freckles and the way she smiled when talking about her book always made his heart thump a little faster. 

He had tried being nice to her before Blackwater. Greetings here and there, tips of his hat, that sort of bullshit. The damn freeze of Colter happened and everyone was in a piss-poor mood before they traveled down to New Hanover. Then he got imprisoned in Strawberry and was away from camp for nie on two weeks. 

But now that they were at Clemens point and things were quiet, Micah planned to make his move. He had been in the Rhodes General store buying cigarettes when he saw a leather bound jounral on the shelf. He wasn’t one for journaling, it was a waste of time to write down his own thoughts, but Mary-Beth liked writing those silly little romances. 

He approached the counter with the pack of cigarettes and the journal, laying them down in a huff. His heart was jerking uncomfortably in his chest, and his back was sweating through his shirt. The clerk tried to make small talk with him, but he just shot him a glare from under the brim of hat and went on his way. 

Baylock greeted him with a snort and a stomp of his hoof. The tempermental nag even had the balls to sidestep when Micah went to mount him after putting the journal safely in his saddle bags. 

“I will cut those damn balls off, boy, test me again.” Micah hissed through his bristly moustache. 

The cobalt steed calmed and allowed Micah to swing himself into his saddle. On the way back to Clemens Point, Micah made it a point to stab his spurs into Baylock’s flanks as punishment for his transgressions. Baylock pinned his ears and wheezed as they galloped through the thick woodland that kept Clemens Point hidden from prying eyes. 

Williamson on guard duty could hardly ask who was there before Micah flew by and cantered to the designated horse area. The O’Driscoll looked up from the detailing of a saddle when Baylock nickered and came to a sliding halt. 

“Hey, O’Driscoll, unsaddle my horse.” Micah shouted while sliding off Baylock and searching through his saddle bag for the newly bought journal. 

“M-mister I ain-”

“I don’t think I asked, O’Driscoll. Are we gonna have a problem?” The O’Driscoll shook his head, bowing to hide under his ridiculous straw hat. “Good, now be a good boy and do what I asked.”

Micah didn’t turn around to see if he followed through with his orders, his mind more set on the beautiful Gaskill sitting at the center table. Her hair was done up with half of it up and the other cascading in curled locks down her back. Clad in a maroon skirt, white low cut shirt and dark pink waistcoat, she looked radiant with the way the bright sun caught on her necklace made her breasts pop. 

The only problem was that damn Morgan was talking to her at the table. He couldn’t just go up and give her the journal without an explanation, especially with Morgan right there. He’d be made a laughing stock. With a growl, Micah made a beeline for his tent. He would wait until that night, corner Mary-Beth to give her the journal and express himself to her. Yes, that was a good plan. 

Micah sighed softly as he sat on his bedroll and looked down at the leather, flipping through the pages. They were good quality, or he thought they were. Surely, Mary-Beth would appreciate the gift. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut, something he only felt when something went wrong. He wasn’t a nervous human, but the thought of courting Mary-Beth made his stomach twist up and heart skip a beat. Maybe this was a bad idea? No, any idea he came up with was never a bad one, just needed some improvising if it went wrong. 

In the heat of the Lemoyne sun, Micah laid out on his bed roll and tipped his hat down to hide his face, hands cupped under his head. His hair felt greasy and tangled, maybe he should go to the Flat Iron and wash up a bit before approaching Mary-Beth? His shirt also felt damp and rough against his skin. 

With a snarl of frustration, Micah sat up and trampled around his tent to grab a sliver of soap and a ragged wash cloth. A clean dark grey button up lay at the bottom of his chest, he hadn’t worn it since… he didn’t know when. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed the shirt and left his tent with a flourish. The things he did for women. 

No one spared him a glance as he walked to the lakeshore, following it until he found a partly hidden cove. He stripped down and waded into the water, scrubbing at his skin with the soap wrapped in the cloth until the blonde hairs on his chest were suddy and the faint smell of cedar filled his nostrals. He spent more time on washing his hair, dunking his head under the water and latehring it with soap. 

Scratching at his moustache made him think maybe he should shave too, but the stubborn part of his mind told him he was already doing too much to impress Mary-Beth. He shook his head like a dog and wrung out the long strands before exiting the cove and using his old shirt to pat himself dry. Before leaving the cove he saw a flower nestled in a patch of bulrush. Its petals were white that bled to a dark pink. It reminded Micah of that marooon getup Mary-Beth was wearing at the domino table earlier.

He picked the flower without a second thought and hid it in the folds of his red shirt.

He returned to camp dressed in the grey shirt and his dusty white pants, hat low on his head. He knew people were looking at him now, freshly bathed and in a new shirt. It made his skin prickle unpleasantly, but snapping at that scrawny mutt that wandered into camp made him gain some control back of the situation. 

After storing the soap and his dirty shirt back in his chest, Micah flopped on his bedroll, the flower stem pinched between his fingers. He wondered briefly what kind of flower it was, but he was sure Mary-Beth wouldn’t care. His mouth felt dry and his heart did that stupid pitter patter in his ribcage. A sip or two of whiskey calmed his nerves before he gathered the journal and flower in his hands. 

The sun was just starting to bathe the sky in a mellow orange color, and most people were off doing whatever after dinner. Marston, Uncle, and Javier were sitting around the main fire, and Morgan’s horse was gone. 

Slicking back his still damp hair, Micah slinked around the tents toward the girls’ tent. He got lucky enough that Karen and Tilly weren’t anywhere nearby, but Mary-Beth was curled up on the ground scribbling away in a journal. 

Micah stopped a few feet off to the side of her tent, working his jaw and trying to figure out the right words to say. Morgan would know what to say without a problem, prolly something flirty or a greeting-

“Uhm… good evening, Mr. Bell…?” Mary-Beth’s quiet voice broke him from his thoughts and pushed him to action. 

“Good evenin’, Ms. Gaskill-” Micah awkwardly shuffled closer to the bedrolls before playing with the leather of the journal in his hands, “I uh, I came to- Shit. Here.” With a severe lack of flattery, Micah held the book out to Mary-Beth. 

Mary-Beth tilted her head and confusion flashed on her face as she slowly set down her pencil and journal. “What’s this for?”

“I uh- saw ya like to write, and I saw this at the general store.” Micah said dumbly before remembering the flower he was worrying in his calloused hands. “And uh saw this at the shore line, thought ya might like it.” 

Micah could have imagined the light blush that colored Mary-Beth’s cheeks in the evening lighting, but she took the flower, their fingers brushing. “Oh, why… I’m sorry, Mr. Bell this is all very… odd.” She twisted the flower stem in her grasp, not meeting his eyes as she chewed on her lip. 

Micah turned away, teeth gritting together as anger surged up through his body. Of course she would reject him just like every other whore-

“Thank you, though. It’s a very lovely gift, and the journal too. Mine is on it’s last few pages…” Mary-Beth took one of the curled locks of her hair and tugged on it bashfully. 

Micah blinked, the anger draining from his body like a long needed piss. “Oh, uh, you’re welcome, Ms. Gaskill. I-I’ll leave ya to your writin’ now.” As Micah swiftly walked away he heard Mary-Beth’s muffled giggle. It wasn’t born of ill-humor, but it sounded like it was a flustered one. 

He could get used to hearing that more often.

[wickedbaggins]

Year End Wrap-ups

Why not. Here’s the first list. Games I played a lot of, but absolutely will not finish in the next week. Because they’re huge games.

cyberpunkdreams A Fallen London clone, i.e. a text RPG where the primary gameplay is clicking on storylets (i.e. "I am scouring the streets for resources") and slowly building up qualities and trading them for other qualities, i.e. a story-rich grind game. This certainly has a better balance of story-to-grind than the endless middle of Fallen London than I'm stuck on. It also does some interesting things with gender presentation and I'm not even 100% sure I hate how deliberate every major and many minor actions have to be (are you dressed appropriately to go to that place? Do you have enough bullets to do this thing?). It is, however, still a lot of grind and a lot of grind in a really aggressively unpleasant setting and a lot of grind in a game with permadeath. There's more than a seed of something really good here, but it's also kind of a drain to play in every way. Done with it again. Elden Ring Ah yes, the game that finally pushed me into the "oh, I can play difficult action RPGs" bucket and also, really, "I enjoy difficult action RPGs". I'm not great at playing on our PS5 and have just picked this up again on PC, the better to start it again with a somewhat-less magic-heavy build, and it's a fun and compelling game. Part of what makes it great is the horsie. Fantastic horsie. Fast as thought and jumps like a hare. Zipping across the map rather than careful, iterative progression is a joy and what makes this From Software game by far the most accessible. Kynseed A life sim more than a farming sim, and sort of a hodgepodge of systems at that. The narrative appears to be largely "uh, keep engaging with our systems and numbers will tick up", but it is enjoyable for all that. The combat is chunky and on the difficult side, and the pixel art is incredible and if you don't really feel like farming, it's a pretty small percentage of what you do. The mini-games -- well, they're trying to rebalance them. One day I may successfully make jam. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Second attempt's the charm, I guess. It's a marvelous game to wander around, but the horsie is not as good as in Elden Ring, which is a bit of a problem. On the other hand, glider. Wonderful glider. Get up high and go soaring over the landscape. There is also a plot which is engaging, it is, but I do honestly find any interruption to exploring the map a comparative chore. Monster Hunter Rise The ultimate kill-beautiful-monsters-to-make-pants simulator and it's a lot of fun with great designs. Some real pathos in killing these magnificent creatures, though. Humans-as-endurance predators. Sometimes hard to hear the frustrated, furious wail as I corner some great fur-or-feathered scaly thing in its den yet again. Nioh 2 Hard-as-shit, but more generous than a from software game in giving you tons of gear and anima-soul-bits. Colorful, too, palette of greens and reds, over-the-top storytelling that's still elliptical and hard to follow. You turn into a yokai but it helps less than you might think. :( A good time. Meditative in a strange way. Lots of weapon variety. also dress-up elements. Red Dead Redemption 2 The great cowboy life-sim and dress-up game where you do in fact have to shoot people sometimes and ruin your groove of dominos-playing, theater-watching, and sunset ambling. Should actually approach the plot again. Horsies are of course essential. Don’t leave home without one. Stardew Valley Finally dug into this 'un, but didn't quite complete a year of game time on the Switch. Gonna restart on PC with some mods to get the full-plus-extra experience now. I'm starting to sort of get the groove of farming sims, if I still don't understand why this particular one sits so high for so many people. Really like fishing mini-games, maybe?? Witcher 3 Wild Hunt I've played it before! Here I am playing it again. Turns out I forgot huge chunks of this huge-ass RPG with dozens and dozens of short stories appended to its main quest and it's a pleasure to revisit, even if I don't have any appreciation for the Bloody Baron storyline in This Year of Hells. Xenoblade Chronicles 3 I may still want it to be Xenoblade X, but I actually like this cast of 3, even if I do get less interested in the main plot as it continues (a common problem). The main antagonists are appealingly bonkers and making each settlement its own node with its own successive sidequests is a good touch. The landscape is beautiful and endless. I write about it and do want to go back to it. Perhaps after Harvestella??