#but like??? idk this is the most optimistic take i can muster on this

[leqclerc]

One thing about the Lewis move: when Vasseur became TP, I saw a lot of talk about him being the Todt to help Charles bring the trophy back to Ferrari. But Todt straight up blocked the Raikonnen move when it was proposed, he would have not enabled a challenger of Lewis' caliber to move in. If anything, the options are 1) Ferrari once again flailing around with no cohesive plan and 2) Ferrari have put their eggs in the Lewis basket. None of which is particularly good news for Charles.

Was fully expecting to wake up and discover it was alllll a dream. But no 😵‍💫

Okay, so now more news is coming about this whole thing: Charles allegedly knowing about the plans to bring on Lewis before he signed a long-term deal himself and seemingly not being bothered, Lewis getting an eye-watering pay check and Elkann green-lighting all of his initiatives. I'm thinking the only way this can realistically work—two star drivers under one roof and a potentially competitive car—without Ferrari walking back all their plans and promises of building a Charles-centric long-term project is if they're both getting different things out of this, if they ultimately have different goals. I think being transparent about their expectations and motivations would help paint a clearer picture of this future Ferrari roadmap for all the rest of us not in the know.

For Ferrari to be a Charles-centric project it can't, by definition, be a Lewis-centric project. And that's what he's used to. For the past few years Mercedes have rallied around him and given him everything he needs to maximise his potential against external championship rivals. Clear hierarchy, preferential treatment, the whole deal.

Now, reading what's coming out, it seems the big sticking point for Lewis and Mercedes was not necessarily the competitiveness of the package (listen they finished 2nd in the WCC last year and were generally more consistent than Ferrari imo—plus Charles himself said it's unlikely they will catch Red Bull before the new regulations kick in and 2025 still falls under that umbrella, so until then they're more or less on par with Mercedes) but the funding and backing of his long-term ambassador role for the brand.

Now apparently Elkann was so hot on him that he legit just opened a blank cheque and said "whatever you want." Perhaps Lewis got them them to sign off on all these legacy projects in lieu of having a Mercedes-like championship effort team built around him? I'm not naive, he's not a charity and if there's a real shot at a title he'd go for it regardless, the siren call of the eighth will always be there I guess, especially in red—not to mention all the fans and media putting pressure on the team to make it a reality.

But... if we're to believe Ferrari locked down Charles because they're actually serious about building a solid team around him then I mean, are they going to scrap all of that and start from scratch with Lewis at the core? That would be beyond horrific and disingenuous.

I know a big "selling point" of this deal is that Lewis is expected to bring some serious engineer brainpower with him, and I guess in that sense maybe Ferrari's thinking they will help with the development and then stay with the team even after Lewis exits but idk I'm getting hives thinking about the potential loyalty issues (i.e. if they're coming with him they're coming for him, not necessarily for Ferrari, so what guarantee do they have that the workforce won't walk as soon as the driver does?) (Also, if Elkann apparently had all that money lying around why not throw some big sums at the engineers in the headhunting process idk 🤔)

That being said I'm sadly used to being let down by Ferrari and fully aware there's a very real possibility that in the end Lewis gets the money, the projects and the team status/backing/etc and Charles gets massively fucked over. So idk what to think about all of this honestly 😵‍💫

[cow-smells]

Eli/Hawk x Reader: Changes

Request: Can you do a Hawk x reader where they are dating since a long time and y/n tries to handle with his change from Eli to Hawk? @sophiahardy912

A/N: Thought I’d write all cutesy lovey dovey fluffy smutty things but then this angst came out? sorry if i failed you idk what happened here

Words: 2054

Warning: A few cuss words

----

Eli wasn't... Eli anymore.

Not just in a metaphorical way – he was Hawk now, inside and out. At first it was a refreshing change – you loved Eli back when he was introverted and lacking in confidence, but now Eli loved himself, and that was surely better.

    Confidence is a good thing. Right?

You remembered the day he texted you 'Dig it?' attached to a photo of him – classic brunette gone, dyed down and gelled up to a Blue Mohawk.

The phrase 'dig it' by itself was previously foreign to the boy, so of course the new bold hairstyle was a big shock for you. Not a bad one, just unexpected. Even more unexpected was the new attitude that came with it.

When Eli walked up to you the next day at school, he adopted a strut that came with his new hair and attire. You almost didn't recognize him without one of the comfy sweaters he previously would wear, the ones you would steal borrow when you'd go over to his on date night.

    It had been a while since you had one of those date nights – Eli wasn't fond of spending too much time in public, always feeling like people were staring at his lip – so you'd often spend the night at his house, watching some horror movie late in to the night, laughing together at cheap, unconvincing productions. Or, even better – clinging to him when a movie really was scary, finding an excuse to casually entwine yourself around him. You loved how he would turn red every time, as though you haven't been together for a long time now.

The last date night you two had was... unusual, yet exciting all the same.

Eli had been Hawk for a while now, and things were taking a turn for the worse. At first it was nice – Eli would link your pinkie fingers together under the table at lunch, Hawk would put his arm around you as you two walked down the hallways between classes. Eli cowered when anyone would so much as look at him; Hawk would shut down anyone who tried to start with him.

You didn't mind it, so to speak, when he got in to a fight with his former bullies. You were worried, of course, but Hawk knew how to handle himself. He beat the shit out of them and after years of Kyler and co taunting him, it felt like fair karma at play. You were actually proud. Hawk came home on cloud nine that day and you were all for being his cheerleader; it ended up being a night of great celebrations.

However, these days he was getting exceedingly violent with anyone who would look at him wrong. It was one thing paying back those who wronged him, but the whole karate thing was getting out of hand; it came to a red line for you once you saw his treatment of Demetri, the only one other than you and Miguel who accepted him far before he accepted himself.

You two had gotten in to a serious argument, Hawk stating that Demetri's treatment is his own doing for being such a nerd, you telling him to grow up.

A couple of days went by with you giving him the silent treatment. Hawk thought he'd just slide in by you the next day at lunch, kiss you and everything would be fine – but you weren't having it. If he didn't mind throwing Demetri under the bus so quickly, how long until that was you instead?

Not talking to Eli proved harder to do than you thought. After so long together it was strange, suddenly having this wall between you two. It had only been a couple of days of you riding the bus to school rather than on his motorcycle with him and you already felt an insistent pit in your stomach that refused to go away, no matter how hard you tried to distract yourself with schoolwork and your other friends.

So unsurprisingly, when Hawk texted you asking you to meet him at an unfamiliar address, you agreed.

It was dark out – the only people you saw around the road you were going down were a couple of shady looking dudes, only obviously under the influence.

You checked your phone again to make sure you were going the right way.

    “You made it!”

Eli's voice startled you, making you look up from your phone. Illuminated by the blue florescent lights from the shop he stood outside of, he seemed... relieved.

    “Yeah,” you answered simply, your eagerness to make up disapparating in to an unconfident hesitation. “what are we doing out here?”

    “Look,” Hawk took one of your hands in his. “I don't wanna lose you. And if that means being nicer to Demetri or whoever of those dorks, whatever. I can live with that. But not without you.”

You hated how he knew exactly what to say, even if it wasn't prefect. It was enough.

    “You didn't answer,” you said, allowing a flirtatious tone to creep up. “What are we doing here?”

Eli smiled, a smile that was more Hawk than Eli, and pulled you in to the shop after him, knowing he was well on his way to winning you over.

    “This is my guy, Rico,” Hawk introduced, fist bumping the older man. Between the familiar name, funny looking chair and sketches on the walls, you knew exactly where you were and what was about to happen.

    “Eli?” you tentatively called as Hawk guestued for you to sit in a chair behind the funky-looking one. Rico adjusted said chair and motioned for Hawk to come over. Eli sat on the chair, his back to you.

    “You sure about this?” Rico asked, preparing ink on a side table. “Sure,” Hawk answered confidently.

Naturally, your curiosity got you up on your feet towards Eli's other side – of course you wanted to know what he was getting inked – but Hawk quickly protested.

    “Stay over there!” he scolded playfully. “It's a surprise.”

The machine started buzzing and even though it wasn't you who was getting anything done, adrenaline started rushing, making you a giddy mess, forgetting all about your previous fight. As needle pierced skin, you spent the time waiting making assumptions over what Hawk was getting on him – at first you guessed the Cobra Kai snake, later guessing Sensei Lawrence in a heart – a suggestion that made Eli laugh particularly hard, in that way that he used to laugh when it was just the two of you (this earned a scolding from Rico, who couldn't get the work done if his canvas was jittering about).

It must have been twenty minutes at best before Hawk rose from the chair and turned to you, gesturing to the new piece over his heart – a heart with your name in it.

Was it possible to have your heart sink and jump simultaneously? On the one hand, you were realistic, and there would probably come a day where he'd regret this – a thought that made you sick. On the other hand, it was the most romantic thing you've ever experienced, and it was unlikely for anyone else to ever top that.

What was done was done, so you shoved aside any negativity and allowed yourself to revel in the love you felt, showering Hawk with kisses that quickly turned in to a deep, longing kiss – until Rico politely suggested you take the show elsewhere.

    Apparently “being nicer to Demetri” meant ignoring him altogether, besides some threatening looks. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than the alternative, so you let go of it despite it seeming like Hawk was constantly on the edge.

You were ready for another date night – the first since the tattoo parlor – ready to get away from school and its drama, just to spend some quality time with your boyfriend.

Now that he wasn't shy anymore, he suggested going to see a film in an actual movie theatre, which was exactly what you were doing.

The two of you split up – you needed to go to the bathroom so Hawk stood in line for tickets. By the time you had come out you had lost sight of your boyfriend – the crowd around the ticket stalls had suddenly increased.

    “You looking for someone?” a male voice asked. Turning around, a couple of guys you didn't know were approaching you. “Think you'd have more fun with us.”

Just as they reached you, a hand grabbed your arm. You were relieved to turn and see Eli – but he wasn't even looking at you. His eyes were locked with one of the guys – you could feel the tension in the air.

     “Eli, no,” you whispered firmly. His grip on you tightened, moving you aside – but you weren't going to stand for it. You stepped in front of him, grabbing hold of him as he did to you. “You start something, I walk.” your voice was low, not wanting those guys to hear, but serious enough to make Hawk understand you weren't playing around.

With a grunt, he looked down at you, took your hand and walked away.

You optimistically thought the worst was blown over.

You and Hawk were waiting outside the theatre to be let in, chatting away when Hawk stopped you mid sentence with a kiss.

Another pleasant surprise about Eli's newfound confidence was how willing he was to show affection to you publicly, while before you two could pass off as acquaintances at best.

It was rather random but you accepted the kiss – even when he deepened it, getting closer to you, pulling you closer to him.

His hands started sliding lower.

It wasn't anything you haven't done in the privacy of your bedrooms, but to get that intimate in public, in broad daylight – it was too much for your liking.

    “Eli -” you called, pushing away from him. He didn't allow it.

Pulling your hips to his with one hand on your bum, his other went up to hold your chin, tilting it back to grant him access. He managed to hold you for a moment before you mustered up the power to push him a few steps away from you.

    Hawk was visually surprised – whether because of you or himself, you were unsure.

    “What the fuck was that?” you asked, not bothering to keep your voice down this time.

Despite trying so hard to become this new person, new Eli still had old Eli's tells – and a quick glance he threw aside told you everything you needed to know.

Following his line of sight, the two guys from earlier stood there, watching the scene unfold.

    “So that's what this is about?” you huffed. “some territory marking thing?”

Hawk struggled to gather his words, his bottom lip bobbing wordlessly a couple of times before he spoke. “Look, you didn't want me to take care of it out there, so-”

     “So you do whatever you want with me? Like I'm nothing?”

    “Y/n, you know it's not like that-”

    “So what is it like?”

When Hawk didn't immediately respond, you turned on your heel to the exit. Hawk followed you outside.

    “Come on, Y/n, you know I'd never hurt you!”

    “You just did!” you yelled back. “you... I don't know you anymore, and I say that in the worst way.”

    “What,” Hawk huffed, “you want me to go back to being a pansy? 'Cause that's not going to happen.”

    “You know what's the worst out of all this?” you asked, coming to face Hawk. “at first I thought it was cool, you being all tough. Seeing Kyler become afraid of you. I thought it was great. But now... Now I'm afraid of you.”

Hawk frowned, the realization dawning upon him. “C'mon...” he lifted his shirt to show the heart tattoo dedicated to you. “Doesn't this mean anything to you?”

    “Make it mean something.” you replied with a heavy heart, taking a step back and left, leaving Hawk standing alone in the parking lot.

[maxortecho]

No but I can’t believe RNM is going out this badly *rubs temples* aside from 4x09 this season somehow manages to get worse with every episode

4x12 🧂

First off, Liz trapped in this offensive and shitty addiction storyline. Her being unable to narratively do anything and being completely useless to the main plot. Liz is the main character but she’s pushing none of this story along, she sat on a lab floor all episode crying and googling memory loss like she’s Bella in Twilight lmfao.

Max and Isobel decide to cross the portal because they’re under the impression that Liz can science them back, and then Liz just… doesn’t tell them she doesn’t know how to do it because she “doesn’t want to get in the way of Max’s destiny”. What? Maybe let them know so they can better prepare for this possibility.

Isobel etc being like “the pocket dimension isn’t dangerous because Michael was pretty confident he could come back” those are a lot of assumptions based on Michael (who you’ve thought was overly optimistic about his chances of going in and coming back out anyway), and also, they’re not back yet.

“Maria, is Alex the one you’re closest to?” Maria, for some reason: actually the person I’m closest to is Dallas who I’ve known for less than a year (I wanted Maria/Dallas! But this makes no sense)

Alex is dying and no one has problem solved this beyond “maybe getting back to earth will help”. Max turns up and says he has his powers back and Michael is like “thank god!!!” and then… for some reason doesn’t ask if that could be useful to heal Alex or, idk, even partially heal him to buy him more time.

They open the portal and then take the slowest walk of all time despite a storm behind them. Nathan and Quentin act out their alien powers and it looks the most ridiculous it’s ever looked. Alex is posed on the portal entrance but just chills there. Dude, roll. Liz is in the background and offers her lead character contribution of standing around while Clyde monologues. She couldn’t, idk, give it her best shot and try punching Clyde in the back of the head like she did to Noah in 1x11? Even if it doesn’t work she could at least be shown actively trying.

Isobel has a big emotional scene with bland Tezca and I guess we’re supposed to feel something but all I can muster up is checking the clock wondering why it’s taking them so long and they’re still not walking through the portal, and then Lily does some truly hilarious wail-acting as Tezca dies. Man, do I not care in the slightest. Speaking of Lily, that floppy-lipped Kybel kiss, oof.

I’m ready to be released from this utter nonsense next week lol.

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 {𝐂! 𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Character: C! Foolish

Side Character(s): Awesamdude

Story-type: Fluff Romance

Story Length: 2200 words

AU or Not: Not much really

Time Period: Somewhere in the future like maybe after three years- Idk

Plot Summary: Foolish talks to Sam who's your father and plans on taking you on a special date to ask you the big question.

Small Info: You're Awesamedude's adoptive daughter

Keywords: Y/N = Your Name Y/F/F = You Favorite Flowers

Trigger Warning: None

Normal Warning: adorable but maybe cringe but cute ig-

--------------------------------------------------

Foolish's Point of View~

I stood outside of Sam's house as I was sweating while feeling very nervous. I took a deep breath as I knocked on the hard wood as I waited for Sam to answer the door.

After a few minutes, I could hear small footsteps as the door opened to reveal Sam on the other side of the door. My nervous level literally went up a little.

"Oh hey Foolish. It's a surprise to see you here." he said as I mustered up a smile as I nodded.

"Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you about something if you aren't busy at the moment." I asked as he looked at me before nodding.

"I am not busy so you can come in and we can talk." he said opening the door even more to let me in as I entered his house while he closed it and led me to the living room.

As I entered the living room, I noticed a shelf which had picture frames and I saw a picture of Sam and Y/N when she was just little and then a picture of when she was just a teenager.

I smiled at the pictures before I sat down on the chair opposite to where Sam was sitting. At this point, I was feeling pretty nervous and scared to ask him.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Sam asked as I looked at him.

"I came to ask for your permission." I said as he looked confused.

"My permission for what?" He asked as I let out a sigh.

"To have your daughter's hand in marriage." I said as silence fell in the living room.

I glanced at Sam who seemed to have a look of shock as if trying to process whatever I just said. I was pretty scared right now and I was already scared of Sam the minute I started to date Y/N.

"Wait so... you are asking me for Y/N's hand in marriage?" He asked but he didn't seem angry.

"Yeah. I am Sam. I really love Y/N. She's everything to me. She's the reason I am happy cause seeing makes me smile and she's helped me a lot of times." I said as I felt Sam looking at me.

"What do you like about Y/N?" He asked as I looked down before speaking.

"I like how she's kind, smart, very optimistic and knows how to make someone smile. I'll be honest Sam, in my eyes she's like a Goddess to me because she radiates so much happiness that it just makes me feel happy about myself. She's very accepting too." I said as I smiled at what I said about her.

"I understand if you don't give me permission Sam." I finished as I looked down as to not meet his eyes.

I heard him sigh and then suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder as I looked up to see Sam not having a negative look but was smiling.

"I give you my blessing and permission. I wish you the best of luck." He said as I looked at him in shock but smiled.

"Thanks Sam." I said as he nodded.

"Anytime. Now get going." He said as I got up and left after thanking him again.

I already had a date planned with her tonight. I just needed to get things ready and I had plenty of time to do so. I quietly ran my way towards my summer home so I can get things and myself ready and pick up Y/N.

Timeskip brought to you by Foolish Jr. and Finley~

I took a deep breath as I came towards the front of her house as I knocked on it as I held the bouquet of Y/F/F behind me to surprise her. I was feeling nervous and excited at the same time.

After a few, I heard the door open to be greeted by Y/N herself. I was speechless as to how she looked. She wore a long elegant yellow green floral dress with beading florals as he hair slightly long hair was loose and pinned at the back by a silver barrette.

(Dress Reference)

She looked like a Goddess honestly. I could feel my cheeks warming up as I was blushing at this point. I smiled as I held out the flowers to her.

"For you m'lady." I said as I heard her giggle as she took the flowers.

"You didn't have to Foolish but thanks anyways. These are lovely." She said as I shook my head.

"I wanted to do it. But may I say you look really beautiful tonight." I said as I saw her blush.

"T-thank you. You look rather handsome yourself." She said as I chuckled as I held out my hand to her.

"Shall we?" I asked as she smiled and took my hand.

"We shall." She said with a small giggle.

We carefully made our way to my summer home. Luckily we didn't run into any mobs in the nether. Today was pretty quest there too unlike how it's filled with piglins and such. When we came through the portal to my Summer home, I stopped.

"Is something wrong?" She asked as I shook my head.

"It's nothing but I want you to close your eyes." I said.

"Why?" She asked confused.

"It's a surprise." I said with a smile.

"You're not planning to kidnap me are you?" She asked as I shook my head.

"That would probably the lats thing I'd ever do." I said to her.

"Okay okay. I'll keep my eyes closed." She said as she closed her eyes.

I carefully guided her towards the place where I set the date up. After a few moments I stopped in front of the place. It was a very place for a view to with the ocean and the stars shining bright in the sky. I looked over at Y/N, smiling.

"Okay. You can open your eyes now." I said as she opened her eyes only to have a look of shock as her eyes twinkled.

"Foolish... This is... amazing!" I heard her exclaim with excitement.

"I am glad you like it. It was pretty easy to set up and I did this for you the most. I mean we've been dating for a while now so I thought of doing something extra special for this date." I said as she hugged me.

"Thank you Foolish." She said as I hugged back.

"Anything for you. Now let's enjoy the night while it lasts." I said.

It was a very well-going date so far. I was glad to see Y/N smiling most of time. I am glad she enjoyed the date so far as much as I did. We mostly talked for a while.

I was trying to figure out when to confess to her. I wanted to confess to her during this date but I wasn't sure when to. I could do it now but I am just waiting for the right moment.

Then I remembered something. I quickly checked my watch to see the time and saw that it wad five minutes till the meteor shower was going to happen.

"Hey Y/N. Come on with me. There's gonna be a meteor shower tonight." I said.

"Wait really?!" She said as I nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't know either until later. Come on!" I said as we both got up from her seats and took her hand.

I dragged her towards the sandy shore of the place as we sat down to look up at the starry night sky. Not even a minute later, the meteor shower started.

It was a pretty sight to be honest. I glanced at Y/N who seemed to be awestruck at this. I smiled as I felt the box which held the ring in my pocket.

I was going to do it tonight and I wasn't going to leave without even confessing to her. The meteor shower ended after a few. Right now we were just looking at the night sky as the stars twinkled. It was peaceful to say the least.

"The stars are really beautiful tonight." I heard her say as I looked at her with a smile.

"Not as beautiful as you." I said as she blushed and looked at me and let out a small laugh.

"I am nowhere near beautiful as them Foolish." She said as I put my hand on top of hers as I kissed her forehead.

"You're just as beautiful as the stars." I said as she looked at me with a smile knowing there was no point in arguing about it.

She leaned her head on my shoulder as I wrapped my arm around her. We stayed like this for a few until, I felt Y/N shifting a bit as she pulled away.

"What time is it right now?" She asked as I looked at my watch.

"It's currently 3 in the morning." I said as she slowly got up and I followed to do the same.

"Thank you for the date tonight Foolish. It was one of the greatest dates I ever had and will always cherish the moments we had." She said as I nodded with a smile.

"Anything for you, Y/N." I said as she smiled.

"I have to get going or my dad's gonna start freaking out." She said and that's when I remembered what I had to do.

I quickly pulled the box out of my pocket and held it tight behind me as I stopped Y/N from walking away from me any further as I carefully grabbed her hand.

"Y/N wait! Before you go, I have to tell you something. I promise it won't take long!" I said as she stopped to look at me as I let go of her hand.

"Okay sure. What is it" She asked as I let out a sigh before I started to speak.

"Y/N, these three years of my life were the greatest when I first met you. You're smart, funny, kind, caring and even the most optimistic out of everyone here. You would always try making others smile and laugh. Not everyone can do something like that. I felt blessed when I met you and the fact that you even accepted to be my girlfriend. These three years have been nothing but the greatest time I have spent with you and I don't want to ever let you go." I said as she looked at me with shock and I could tell she had tears coming out of her eyes with what I have just said.

"I... Foolish what are you trying to say?" She asked in an audible whisper.

"What I am trying to say here is that..." I started as I took out the ring box from behind as I knelt down in front of her as I opened the box to reveal a beautiful silver ring which had an emerald stone in the middle with small diamonds surrounding it.

"Will do me the honors of making me the happiest man alive and marry me?" I asked as I saw her covering her mouth in shock and tears.

"Foolish... I..." I heard her start. I was expecting the worst honestly. I wouldn't argue if she rejected me but what she said next shocked me.

"Of course I'll marry you!" She said as I was tackled to the ground by her as we both laughed.

We both sat up on the sandy floor as I put the ring on her finger and kissed her on the lips as she kissed back. We eventually pulled away as we stayed in each other's embrace for a bit more.

I couldn't think of anything else other than the beautiful girl that was right in my arms who is now my fiancee. I kissed the top of her head as I smiled while resting my chin on her head.

"I love you Foolish." I heard her whisper as she let out a yawn.

"I love you too. Sleep well my Goddess." I said as I saw her falling asleep in my arms.

I looked up at the sky. I smiled as I looked down at the sleeping figure in my arms before I let out a small chuckle and kissed her temple.

"Under the stars, I only see you."

--------------------------------------------------

I may have actually died from the immense fluff of the oneshot but I am actually pretty proud of this and I hope you like it too Yams!

Prompt Used: "under the stars, I only see you."

Tag: @yamturds

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

yoo, okay this is a bit of an angsty request but i NEED this !! essentially, the reader loves midoriya (or anyone of your choosing, really) yet its unrequited ^^ maybe a popular ship or smth is real in ur writing, like tododeku and reader is all "oh heckles, midoriya doesn't love me" and just,, sad stuff ?? maybe even a hanahaki disease au if you'd like!!! i want it as a n g s t y as possible with no happy ending jksdhgjdsghjdsjgk thank you sm ily

Of course I had to take the chance to write a hanahaki au - idk if this is angsty enough - im bad at angst lol, but here ya go anon

No - this couldn’t be happening. You didn’t love him, you couldn’t. But - the bloody flower petal in your hand spoke otherwise. You felt the world spiraling around you, yet you were frozen. 

Midoriya Izuku - your best friend who had stolen your heart and given his to another. Of course, there was no chance of Izuku returning your love, he was dating Shouto. You remember the excitement in his eyes when he first told you they were together - and the excitement you had reciprocated for your friend. If only you knew the suffering you would later go through because of him.

Of course, there is no knowing whether Izuku would have loved you if he wasn’t with Shouto - but it seemed the possibility was nonexistent at this point. So, you had 3 choices. You could muster up the money for surgery and lose all your feelings for Izuku, get lucky and make yourself fall out of love with him, or die. And right now, you desperately hoped you were lucky.

Quickly grabbing your phone off of its nightstand, you opened your messages, sighing softly at Izuku’s contact near the top of your messages, and found Momo. She’s vice class rep - so she’s probably the best person to ask to get your homework without getting scolded, and you texted her “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to school tomorrow Momo, I’m feeling pretty sick. Could you tell me the homework so I don’t fall behind?”

It was late, so you didn’t expect a reply. But you didn’t need one - you weren’t going to school. If you weren’t around Izuku, maybe you would forget about your feelings for him and be cured. You were hoping, anyways.

You woke up the next day late in the afternoon - it’s not often you get to stay home from school -  to a text from Momo, saying “Oh no! I hope you feel better, I’ll send you the notes and homework after school. Get some rest!” You smiled at her kindness and laid back on your bed. But then, you noticed the other messages in your notifications. A few on the groupchat, with little “get betters” - which you were expecting. This class treats itself like a family, people are gonna worry if you’re sick. There were also more personal messages from Eijirou, Tenya, and - Shouto and Izuku. 

Shouto had also become a close friend of yours in the time you’ve known him, the two of you always being around Izuku allowed you to develop a bond yourself. So it was no surprise that he texted you, but all you felt was anger towards his “How are you feeling? Do you want me to bring you some soba? I’ll even warm it up for you.” There was a small twinge of guilt in your stomach, he obviously didn’t deserve your anger, but you couldn’t even spare him a response.

Then Izuku - how were you supposed to forget about your feelings when he was constantly so perfect? You found yourself smiling at his message, a “Good morning y/n! I hope you’re feeling better today! I’ll come by and check on you after I finish my homework :)” Sitting up, you went to respond - but you were interrupted by a sharp pain in your throat before you began coughing, and you covered your mouth with your hands only to feel the light touch of petals fall into them.

There were more than last night.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at your hands once again. It hadn’t even been a full day, but already the flowers were growing rapidly. With shaky hands, you shook off the petals and returned your phone, quickly messaging “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. You don’t need to come by either, I don’t want you getting sick and I’ll probably be sleeping.” 

The seriousness of your situation finally set in - last night you hadn’t seemed to fully grasp that if you didn’t do something to stop this, you would literally die. A few choked sobs escaped your lips, and you winced in pain. 

You roughly fell back down onto the bed - frantically wondering what to do. Would Recovery Girl be able to cure you? Would the disease go away if you just forgot about Izuku? You grabbed your phone and started searching for answers. Articles upon articles on the disease, talking about what the misfortunate people who contract it can do to save themselves. 

What you found was disappointing - there are no accounts of people being able to overcome the disease on their own, and always had to resort to surgery or death. You didn’t have the money for surgery, and you didn’t want to bring your friends into this and ask for help - but you didn’t want to die.

“What am I gonna do…” You threw your phone onto the bed and put your hands over your face, holding back your tears. As much as you simply wanted to avoid Izuku until you didn’t love him anymore, it was impossible. Sweet Izuku, who deems it his responsibility to be the most caring person on earth, would be devastated if you were to suddenly cut off ties with him. Besides, how could you when you were forced to see him everyday at school regardless. There was only so long you could feign being sick - you doubted the school wouldn’t do anything to help you. 

The rest of the week was spent in the comfort of your own room - you had managed to convince your friends that you were too sick for school, and for anyone to visit. Researching options had been your top priority, mainly what the surgery entails, but everything you found made you less and less optimistic. 

The surgery costs thousands of dollars, money that no average high school student would have - meaning unless you were to ask for help there would be no way to get the surgery in the first place. And even if you could, there were no certain results. With how rare Hanahaki is, there aren’t enough accounts of successful operations to rely on. Well - they all worked, those who got the surgery were alive. But some had results more drastic than others.

From the result you were hoping for - being you would simply lose feelings for Izuku and live on - to people who had completely forgotten about the person they loved all together. As much as you didn’t want to die, how would you live on without remembering Izuku? Your best friend. He’s been there for you through so much, the thought of living on without him was terrifying.

Yet, everyday you were reminded with the inevitable coming of your death. The itching in your lungs grew everyday, as did the amount of petals you were coughing out. It wouldn’t be long until your lungs were full of flowers - and you suffocated. 

----

“Y/n! Are you feeling better?” Eijirou smiled brightly at you as you walked into the classroom, and you returned a soft smile before sitting in your desk. “I guess.” All you could do was be optimistic, at least in front of your friends. After a week of practically being MIA, you decided you wouldn’t worry them anymore. Besides, if you waited any longer, you’d probably wake up to Katsuki blowing down your door with 15 people behind him. 

Everything was as normal, you talked with Denki and Mina as you waited for class to start, Katsu gave you a “look who finally decided to show up,” - which you knew meant he was glad you were okay - and you even managed to be happy when Izuku ran in and gave you a hug. Your smile strained when Shouto said hi to you however, both because you felt bad for having ignored his texts all week, and because you just didn’t want to be around him. At least not yet. 

Aizawa soon walked into class, and everyone hurried to their seats so that class could start. It wasn’t anything special today - just some more basic hero instruction, and you were happy that you could take it easy as to hopefully not trigger your coughing. You’d be able to tell him about it after class - maybe he could find a way to let you stay out of school until you figured this out.

Still - class was especially long today. Having not been present for a few days seemingly made the period feel much longer than it truly was. And just as luck would have it, an itch began to grow in the back of your throat, and you panicked. You didn’t want anyone else knowing - you didn’t want that kind of attention on you. To be the poor soul of 1A who might die 

You raised your hand, wanting to use the restroom as an excuse to get out of there.

“Yes, y/l/n?”

“Can I-”

Speaking apparently only made it worse, and before you could even finish your sentence you hunched over - beginning to cough up a multitude of flower petals. However, this time was a lot worse than the previous ones, your coughing not letting up until you were choking on petals - likely due to your forcing yourself not to cough for so long. Petals were overflowing from your hands as you attempted to cover your mouth, falling onto your desk and down to the ground. 

Everyone’s attention had already been on you, and with the surprised expression on Aizawa’s face as he ran over to you - they all saw the dark red blood dripping out of your hands and the soft pink petals blanketing your desk. Your attempt at hiding your sickness had only pushed it forward, and now there was nothing you could do. 

Aizawa rubbed your back until you calmed down, and you looked up from your hands to the horrified looks on your friends’ faces. Your face was covered in blood and tears - you looked a mess. 

“Let’s get you to Recovery Girl, okay? Can you stand?”

You nodded, but Aizawa still made sure to hold onto your arm just in case. The room was silent as he led you out, all eyes stuck on you. As you looked back - you were met with the wide eyes of Izuku, and you quickly looked away.

Aizawa had left right after dropping you off at Recovery Girl’s, ruffling your hair a bit and giving you a soft smile in an attempt to cheer you up. 

“Hanahaki disease… I don’t think I’ve ever seen this personally. I can’t promise I’ll be able to help you, but we can try.”

You sat on one of the beds as she walked around the room, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it before bringing it over to you. 

“You probably want to wash all the blood off.”

As you slowly rubbed the washcloth over your mouth, Recovery Girl grabbed your hand and kissed it. Normally, you’d immediately feel better. But other than the scratchy feeling in your throat - nothing changed. You could still feel the slowly growing flowers filling your lungs, they hadn’t gone away.

“How do you feel?”

“The flowers are still there… I can feel them.”

Recovery Girl sighed, “What about your throat? I’m sure all that coughing must have hurt - does your throat feel better?”

Nodding slowly, you felt tears forming in your eyes. So she couldn’t heal you.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I’ve tried all I can. All I can do is heal the physical damage - but no matter what I do, the flowers will keep growing. And if they keep increasing their growth at this rate, soon that won’t even be enough.” 

With all the luck you’ve been having lately, it wasn’t surprising that this was the outcome. But that didn’t mean you weren’t disappointed. Before you could let your emotions overcome you and start crying in front of her, you jumped off the bed and began making your way out. 

“Oh - I understand… thanks anyways.”

With a forced smile to Recovery Girl - who’s worried expression only served to make you feel worse -  you trudged out of her office and into the long hallway. 

“Y/n! Wait up! What happened?”

Izuku chased you down the hall as you left Recovery Girl’s office, a hopeful smile on his face. Apparently he had made his way down there as soon as class ended, wanting to make sure that you were okay. That smile disappeared as he saw your face, contorted in distress as a few tears escaped your eyes. “She wasn’t able to help you, was she?”

He took your silence as a no, but still tried to be optimistic, “Well, there has to be something we can do!”

With all the pain you were in, you’d think that your main worry would be yourself. But no - that hopeless look on Izuku’s face was where your worry had settled. He obviously felt that it was his duty to help you, even if there was nothing he could do.

“There’s surgery, and there’s dying.”

Izuku’s eyes glossed over and he grabbed your wrist, pulling you close.

“You gotta get the surgery y/n! Please - I don’t want you to die.”

If only he knew what he was asking of you. Would he tell you to get the surgery even if he knew he was the one you loved? Would he let you risk forgetting about him - and all the memories you had formed together?

“I don’t have that kind of money, Izuku. And I’m not going to bother anyone with my problem.”

His frown deepened, and his eyes shot around the floor as if he was looking for an answer, “But - I’m sure everyone would help out-”

“No - Izuku. I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it, please. It’s not your problem, it’s mine. Let me figure this out on my own.”

With your words, his grip on your wrist loosened in shock, and you used that as an opportunity to pull your hand away. 

“I’ll be fine Izuku, what ever happens, just let me figure it out.”

You left him standing there, worried and hurt as you ran back to your dorm room - just wanting to be alone to process the events of today.

----

A constant knocking at your door drew you awake. As soon as you arrived in your dorm, you found yourself especially drained of energy, and quickly fell asleep. You desperately wanted to just ignore the thumping, but whoever it was wasn’t going to let up, so you sighed and slowly sat up and made your way to the door.

“Shouto? What’s up?”

When you opened the door, you were surprised to see Shouto standing there. He asked if he could come in, and you reluctantly agreed. As soon as you closed the door, he started talking.

“Izuku told me about what happened. Are you really planning on doing this yourself?”

It was hard to read his expression. On one hand he looked worried, but the sharp look in his eyes proved his frustration.

“You’re really going to let yourself die - just so you don’t get anyone else involved?”

His sharp gaze made you feel almost ashamed, as if your decision was completely idiotic - although you supposed it was. But you couldn’t bring yourself to reply, you’ve already caused enough trouble as it is, you don’t want to make others fix your problem.

Shouto sighed and placed his hand on your shoulder, “I’m paying for your surgery. We’ll schedule it for this weekend, can you hold out for that long?”

Your eyes shot to his, the sharp look continuing to tell you he was serious. Even so, you gave him a light glare, crossing your arms as you replied, “What? No - you’re not! You heard it from Izuku, I’m not asking for anyone’s help.”

“Then you’ll die.”

That made you pause. It wasn’t like Shouto to be so blunt, at least not anymore, but he really was serious. 

“I - … I don’t know… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Y/n, let me do this. I know you don’t want my help, but I don’t want you to die. No one wants you to die, and you don’t want to die.”

He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, so with a heavy sigh you nodded, “Fine… but - I’ll owe you something. Anything.”

Shouto chuckled lightly at that, and nodded, finally taking his hand off your shoulder as he spoke “Deal. Actually, I know what I want. Hanahaki happens when you love someone that doesn’t love you, right? So - who do you love? I’m just curious.”

Fuck. Of course he would ask that. You forced a smile, “Ah - I don’t wanna talk about that… Isn’t there something else you could ask, or that I could do for you? There’s gotta be something.”

“I don’t have anything else in mind, this is all I wanna know right now. Are you embarrassed by who it is? Or is it me?”

He laughed when he mentioned himself, but he was still looking at you expectantly. If Shouto was anything, apparently it was persistent.

“If I tell you, you have to promise not to get upset.”

“I promise.”

With a deep breath, you looked at the ground and muttered, “Izuku.”

Shouto’s face fell from a soft smile to a painfully neutral expression. The room was silent, except for your slight coughing - all the talking had edged you closer to another coughing fit, and you wanted him out before it happened.

“I’ll call the doctor tomorrow.” Shouto walked to the door and opened it, but paused before he could walk out, “And don’t worry about it y/n. It’s not your fault, I’m not mad.” At that, he fully left, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone once again. At least he understood.

----

The school had allowed you to take the rest of the week off under the suggestion of Aizawa and Recovery Girl, not wanting a repeat of last time. This time, however, you weren’t allowed to stay holed up in your room, as the class forced you out after school to spend time with them. It was times like this that you really appreciated your friends - they would help comfort you when you started coughing up more flowers, and made it their mission to cheer you up. 

The weekend came soon, and Saturday morning you were met once again with Shouto knocking at your door. 

“Ready?”

Bouncing on your heels, you tried to relax your panicky brain. You’d be fine. The operation would go by smoothly, and you’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.

“Yup! Let’s go.”

The trip there was fairly quiet, you were too busy thinking about the possible outcomes of the operation - and of Izuku. It would hurt to lose these feelings for him, as much as you hated them. To suddenly not love someone anymore sounded terrible. But, you’d still be friends - and that was all that mattered. 

It didn’t take too long to arrive at the hospital, only about a 30 minute train ride, and soon you were waiting in the doctor’s office to go back. It seemed it was a good day to get the surgery done too, as your breathing had gotten worse and worse by the day. You were nowhere near suffocating quite yet, but another week and you just might be.

“Y/l/n-san, you can come back now.”

You followed the nurse into the back room, Shouto following close behind you.

“So, you got Hanahaki disease, huh? That’s real unlucky, but at least there’s surgery. Now, you do understand that other than the removal of the flowers, we can’t be certain of the actual effect the surgery will have on you mentally.”

“I know, I’ve done a lot of research. Whatever happens, I’m ready.”

The nurse nodded, and smiled at you, “Alright - then just sit down right there and relax. I’ll be back in a minute, and we can get started.”

She left to grab the doctors, and you waited for them to return.

“Are you scared?”

“Just of the uncertainty. I know it’ll work, but I’ve read a bunch of articles on how the whole emotional process can go wrong.”

Shouto sat next to you on the bed, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll go fine.”

It wasn’t too long until the doctors came back into the room, dressed and ready for surgery. Shouto was forced to leave the room, and he promised to be right there when you woke up. Once he was gone, the doctors finished their final preparations and the lead surgeon came to prepare you.

“I’m going to put you under now. Are you ready?”

You nodded shakily - both excited and scared to see what would come. 

“Alright, just relax. It’ll be over before you know it.”

He put the mask on your face, and your eyes fluttered shut into a deep sleep.

----

The doctor called Shouto in as soon as you woke up, wanting you to have a familiar face to help adjust while the anaesthesia worked its way out of your system.

“Everything seems to have gone great, the flowers are gone and they’ll live.”

Shouto thanked the doctor, and went into the room. You were still a bit dopey from the anesthesia however, so he let you be, wanting you to rest, and went to call Izuku.

“Shouto! How’d the surgery go? Is y/n okay?”

Shouto couldn’t help but chuckle at Izuku’s enthusiasm. Other than you, Izuku had been the most worried about the surgery - he wouldn’t be able to handle it if something went wrong and he lost you. 

“Yes, they’re okay. They’re still waking up, but once the doctor says it’s okay for visitors to come I’ll text you.”

“Ah! I’m so glad! Okay, I’ll bring everyone with me!”

It was a while later when you fully woke up, finally aware of what was going on as you looked around the white room. 

“Shouto? What time is it? Did the surgery go alright?”

“Around noon, and yes - you’re perfectly fine. Are you hungry? I can go grab you some food.”

You nodded, having not eaten all day, “Yes please. Oh, and could you grab me my phone? Momo said to call her after the surgery.”

Shouto went to grab your bag and began searching through it for your phone, but decided you’d want to know that your friends would be coming soon as well. 

“I’m sure she’ll be coming over soon, Izuku said he’s gonna bring everyone to come visit in a bit”

He expected for you to be happy at the news, but instead your face contorted in confusion, and to Shouto’s horror - you asked, “Who’s Izuku?”

---

As everyone from 1A flooded into the room, you broke out into a bright smile. They all circled around the bed, spouting random comments about how happy they were that you were okay and that the surgery was a success. You excitedly listened to all of them, happy to hear that your friends cared about you so much.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried!”

Izuku, finally being able to push his way through everyone and up to you, had latched himself onto you, throwing his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into a tight hug. However, you began pushing him off of you, not wanting some stranger to be touching you so closely.

“Uh, I’m sorry, but who are you?”

Izuku’s eyes widened as you said this - and everyone else in the room turned quiet. Your confused expression as you eyed him carefully further emphasized your seriousness. Why didn’t you remember him?

“I’m… I’m Izuku. Don’t you remember me?”

You gave him an overly kind smile, and Izuku had a glimpse of hope as you seemed to have a revelation, but instead, “Oh! You’re the person Shouto was talking to earlier! Nice to meet you!” 

You seemed to recognize everyone else in the room, as you happily turned to Denki who started telling you about something that happened at school to ease the tension. 

Confused, Izuku shakily grabbed his boyfriend’s hand - who’s pained expression worried him more - and pulled him to the corner of the room.

“Shouto… what happened? I thought you said the surgery worked.”

He was quiet for a moment, trying to decide how to word the news in a way that Izuku would understand, “Well… It did. Y/n’s cured. But - Hanahaki is such a rare occurrence, doctors don’t know all the technicalities of it yet. They can’t assure results, and sometimes, the patient ends up forgetting about the person they loved all together rather than just losing their feelings.”

Suddenly, Izuku went numb. That would have to mean - that meant you loved him. 

You loved him. 

It was his fault you went through all that pain. 

Flashes of you coughing up blood and petals in class flooded his brain - and the pain on your face as you looked at him - he caused that. And now, he couldn’t even apologize. You had no idea who he was.

“I’m sorry Izuku.”

He barely noticed as Shouto pulled him into his chest, and he cried softly. As he looked over Shouto’s shoulder, he saw you laughing happily with the others - a sight that should make him smile. 

But all he felt was pain - even though you were right there, he had lost you.

[ethan-bears]

Home for Christmas (Nolan Patrick x Reader)

You've resigned yourself to spending this Christmas alone. But Nolan has other plans.

Author's note: I started writing this out as a thought to send to @lindylovegang for her soft thought night tonight but I realized it needed to be a small book whole fic instead, so I decided to do this instead of editing my final paper. This is also not edited. I might edit it later. Who knows.

Warnings: light swearing, holidays, slight angst but it gets fluffy real quick, it's my first fic so it's probably not great, I'm on mobile and I can't figure out "keep reading" and I'm very sorry

Word count: absolutely no idea but good luck fam

gif credit to: bretthowden

*****

This was not how you wanted to spend your first Christmas in Philadelphia. Ideally, you wouldn't even be in Philly at all right now. You should be on a plane back home to your family and friends and the warm, familiar streets of your hometown. You should be waking up tomorrow morning in your grandma's house with the smell of warm bread surrounding you like a hug.

But no. You were trapped.

The blizzard had started to roll in earlier this morning, and you thought to yourself that it wouldn't be that bad, right? It was just some flurries. They wouldn't ground any flights, right?

Oh how wrong you wound up being.

After three hours of waiting for news in the airport terminal, followed by another hour and a half desperately trying to reschedule your flight to a time that would still work and getting nothing out of every airline representative in the building, you somehow managed to get an Uber driver crazy enough to come get you in the ocean of snow. Fighting back tears, you tried to console yourself in the backseat. At least your apartment would be warm. And you had a little tree, so it would still feel like Christmas. You'd make some soup and Skype your family, and while it wouldn't be the same as being with them, it would be better than nothing!

"Reckless optimist," you sighed as you flipped the light switch to your apartment only to be met with continued darkness. Alone in a dark, cold, apartment on Christmas Eve, snowed in with nowhere to go in a city that came nowhere close to feeling like home. Merry Christmas. Slumping against the door, you felt your hot tears break free and cascade down your face. You decided to let all the stress and frustration that had been building all day take over your body, sobbing harder than you could ever remember. Each new wave shook your body, sending you to the floor. You didn't care. It couldn't get worse, so why not act like it?

During a pause in the festivities you decided to check your phone to see if you had any messages from your dad, only to find a text you definitely didn't expect from someone who was definitely not your father.

Sir Nolan the Rosy-Faced: hey, just checking in, i know you're probably mid flight rn but just wanted to make sure you land safely when you do. Crazy storm. Text me?

Sniffing, you paused to process the message. Nolan wanted to make sure you were safe? It shouldn't really have surprised you, but the fact that he was concerned enough to text you while he thought you were still midair was...touching.

You fired a short text back explaining that the flight wasn't happening, thinking he'd respond with a simple "okay" or an "oh, sorry to hear that :(". But the next text you got (mere seconds later) surprised you again.

Sir Nolan: oh my god that sucks! Wait.....does that mean you're home alone tonight?

Me: Yeah, and the power's out, so it's suuuper cold, but idk it's fine, I'll just layer up and go to bed early I guess

Sir Nolan: are you okay?

That one hit you like a truck. No, you thought, I'm really, really not.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine

Sir Nolan: are you sure? Cause I can come over if you want.

Any other night, you would be losing your mind at an offer like that. Ever since you had met Nolan, you'd had the biggest crush on him. All other crushes seemed like weak sauce compared to how you felt about him. But you'd cried all your energy out. The best response your heart could muster was a meek, "Sure, but don't worry if the snow's just too much."

You were met with a resounding, "Already on my way."

You decided that if you were going to be having company you should at least get up off the floor. You shuffled your way into your bedroom, habitually flicking the light switch before you remembered it was pointless. You fumbled in the dark to your desk drawer, trying to find your flashlight, and once you found it you turned it on and started changing into your warmest pajamas. Now that you weren't just a puddle of self-pity, you started to think about Nolan's sudden inviting-over of himself. You first met him during training camp when your work friend brought you along to meet up with Travis, her boyfriend. She figured that since you were new to the city and also a huge hockey fan that it couldn't hurt to introduce you to some guys on the team and help you make some friends. You weren't sure what to make of Nolan at first. He seemed so quiet and awkward that you thought your own quietness and awkwardness would make conversation impossible with such a knockout of a man. You wound up being horribly wrong, once again, but that time it was in a good way. Neither of you were really the super-outgoing party type, so whenever one or both of you started getting exhausted with the atmosphere you'd usually drift off into your own conversation in a quieter part of the room. As a result, he became a good friend incredibly fast. It seemed there was nothing you couldn't talk about with him, even though you still got nervous about certain things. Like your personal feelings for him. But that had never come up before, so you were safe. For now.

You knew he knew all about how hard the transition to Philly has been for you. How homesick you get, how you can't help but wonder if you made a mistake taking the job offer that brought you here (even though it was your dream job), and how you felt like it was hard to click with so many new people. Which was probably why he seemed so worried about you being alone tonight. He knew you felt alone most of the time anyway.

An hour and a half had gone by and you were starting to get worried about him. He only lived 20 minutes away, and even with the snow, it shouldn't take him that long unless he was stuck and just too proud to call you. It had given you time to call your mom, which you were grateful for and made you feel a lot better, but you couldn't ignore the knot in your stomach anymore. You were just about to hit "call" when you heard a knock at the door. Or more like a thump at the door.

You practically sprinted over to open it for the man-sized popsicle with his arms full of grocery bags standing on your doorstep. You paused for a second with your mouth hanging open, both amazed by the fact that he actually came over and by...him. The cold made his already pink cheeks bright red, and the snowflakes were sticking to his long eyelashes and the free locks of hair that didn't fit under his beanie. You had never seen anything more beautiful in your life.

"Can...can I come in?" Nolan's teeth chattered, snapping you back to reality.

"Oh, yeah, sorry! God, Nol, you're shivering!" you remark, ushering him through the door. Not that inside was that much warmer, but anything was better than being out there.

"It's cold," he laughs.

"Wow, AND he's meteorologist!" you quip back. "What can Nolan Patrick not do?"

Shaking his head, he made a beeline for your kitchen, looking for a place to set his bags down.

"Took me forever to find a place that was still open tonight," he muttered, pulling what looked in the dark like to-go boxes out of one of the bags. You shined your flashlight up to the ceiling to make it light the whole room as Nolan continued to pull items from his three bags. You just stood there, still dumbfounded by him.

"Pat... what's all this?" you manage to squeak out.

"This," he said, pointing to the to-go tubs, "is soup. I'm not completely sure what kind, but I figured soup would be the best thing no matter what. I didn't know if you had any crackers, so I brought some saltines. And some oranges because I knew you'd want something fruity and healthy and oranges are festive. And this," he pulled a thermos out of the second bag, "is hot chocolate. Made it myself." He grinned, sliding it towards you, obviously proud of himself. You could barely contain your own grin, feeling yourself blush. You were proud of him too.

"I saved the best for last," he continued once you took a sip of the cocoa. You frowned.

"What else could you possibly have brought?" you asked, genuinely astonished.

He looked you in the eyes and gave you a smirk. Holy hell. You were glad he probably couldn't see how pink your own cheeks were getting. The things he did to you and he didn't even know.

He carefully pulled a basket out of the last bag, and you could see it was full of a bunch of other things. You couldn't believe it.

"Nolan..." You trailed off, feeling the tears starting to well up again. Inside the basket were a bunch of little gifts with a note that read "For: y/n, From: Us". It had some of your favorite candies, one of those cheesy home-state-scented candles, a scarf with your home team's name and logo on it, and a tin of your favorite tea from a tiny local tea shop in your home town. You tried your best to fight the tears, but you weren't strong enough, rendered useless from your earlier fit.

"Nol-" You couldn't even finish your question before your own sob choked you. You set your thermos and flashlight down to bury your face in your hands.

"Hey, hey," Nolan whispered, pulling you into a hug. You wasted no time in hugging him back, squeezing him as you sobbed into his chest. "Shhhh, it's okay," he muttered to the top of your head. He slowly ran a hand up and down your back, rocking you back and forth. It only made you more emotional. He had never hugged you before, and you hadn't been hugged like this in what felt like years. You just wanted to stay there in his arms forever and ignore the world around you.

"It was a team effort," he continued. "Some of us thought you could use some things that remind you of home."

"Who...who found the tea?" you said into his chest, muffled by his sweater.

"What?" He smiled, pulling out of the hug a bit to let you speak up.

You wiped your face and took a breath. "Who found the tea?"

He pulled the rest of the way out of the hug, much to your disappointment. He leaned his head down, staring at the floor.

"That was me," he mumbled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "I remembered you mentioning it, and it was hard to work out, but they agreed to send me some." Somehow, his voice kept getting lower and lower.

You could hardly believe your ears. He remembered that? You swore you had only mentioned it once in passing after you got a really disappointing chai from a coffee place down the street. You had no idea he had been paying attention. And he went to all the trouble of getting a store with a locals-only business model to ship a product long-distance. You started to wonder if.... No, you thought, don't get your hopes up again tonight.

You stared at him for another moment, trying to soak in the situation. He seemed surprised when you went back in for another hug.

"Thank you so much!" you whisper, knowing that if you said it any louder you'd start crying again. You could feel him relax into the hug and gave him a little squeeze before you ended it.

"Soup time?"

"Soup time." Nolan nodded, practically beaming.

You sat on the couch, eating as carefully as you could in the dark, though your eyes were getting pretty adjusted. From then on, it was conversation as usual. It came so naturally with him that even when you weren't saying anything, you were still happy. You exchanged stories about your favorite Christmases, what you thought the best cookies are, and weird things your families do during the holidays for hours, barely even noticing the time or the cold.  At some point Nolan had pulled the blankets off the back of the couch and tossed them over both your laps. You didn't notice that you'd been getting closer and closer to him with every story until you laughed so hard you fell on his shoulder.

"Stop laughing!" He pouted, audibly trying to stifle his own laugh. "I almost got hypothermia. I could've died!"

"I can't...I can't!" you breathe between laughs. "You fell through the ice...but just one leg?!"

"Yeah, and I was stuck there on my side almost doing the splits between the ice and the water and my sister just stood there laughing. Just like you!" He nudged you, pretending to be annoyed. "But eventually she pulled me out and carried me back home. Couldn't move my leg for hours, it was just sticking straight out like..." He stuck his leg in the air, demonstrating, and only making you laugh harder. You could hardly breathe. You knew it probably felt funnier because of how exhausted you were, but you didn't care. Nolan had put a smile back on your face and back in your heart.

"Hey, Nolan?"

"Yeah?"

You swallowed. "I just... I'm not complaining that you're here, obviously, but... weren't you planning on spending tonight with Kevin and his family?"

"I was, but they've got each other, and someone else who's super special to me was sad and alone, which made me really sad to think about. You deserve to be happy and I wanted to help. Easiest decision I've ever made."

You really did not have it in you for another cry, so you settled for teasing him instead.

"That's really cheesy of you, softie."

"Take it while you can," he laughed.

"I know," you smiled.

Your eyes were starting to feel heavy and you let out a jaw-cracking yawn.

"Damn," Nolan remarked. You grunted in response, earning another laugh from him. "Wanna lay down?"

You nodded, leaning into his shoulder.

"You're warm," you sleepily drawl. You wanted to lay down, but you didn't want to get up to go to your bed. You wanted more snuggles, and right now you didn't care if he read into it or not.

He seemed to get the message, moving to lay down and taking you with him. He wrapped his arms around you after making sure the blankets covered you both as much as possible. You smiled contentedly, settling into your position and closing your eyes. You barely had time to contemplate how touchy he was being tonight compared to his normal reservations about hugs and touching before you were completely gone.

*****

Nolan woke up first the next morning. He was careful to move as little as possible to avoid waking you up. You looked so peaceful, curled up with your head on his chest. He felt his heart swell as you shifted to wrap your arms around his torso and fell back asleep within seconds. He smiled down at you, noticing how beautiful you were, even with your messy bedhead and your cheek squished against his chest. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Just the two of you.

The power had come back on at some point during the night, so it was no longer freezing in the apartment, and the lights on your tiny tree had come on as well. He glanced back over to the kitchen to the basket on the counter. It had been embarrassing enough to admit to being the one who hunted down the tea like a police dog, so he left out the part about the whole gift basket being his idea in the first place. He would've bought you everything himself, but he wanted you to know that you had other friends, too, and that they wanted to show you that they were thinking of you. The scarf was Carter's idea, the candy TK's. Claude had suggested the candle, and being the local expert on how to be good to the woman he loved, Nolan took the advice and bought the candle as well. It did make him strangely jealous of your hometown in a way he couldn't quite explain. He was worried that you would be looking for any excuse to move back home, which he really didn't want. If it made you happy, then of course he'd support you, but he'd never felt for anyone the way he felt about you. The way you laugh, how passionate you get when you talk about something you care about, whether that's a person, a subject, a place, or what the best pizza topping is. He loved everything down to the way you word your sentences. He loved how much you loved.

He was awoken from his thoughts by you stirring and opening your eyes to look at him.

"Merry Christmas," you mumbled.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back.

You laid your head back down, enjoying the comforting rise and fall of his chest.

"You hungry? I can try and make you some breakfast. Emphasis on try," Nolan offered.

You laughed at the thought. "That'd be nice. But I don't wanna get up."

"Me neither," he sighed, tracing his thumb along your arm. He was not ready for when you suddenly shot off the couch, eyes manic and wide.

"Oh my god!" you shouted. "I didn't get you anything for Christmas! And you did all that last night!" You waved your hand at the kitchen. Nolan sat up, confused and cold, missing the weight of you on him.

"It's okay, y/n! I wasn't expecting anything."

"No, okay, I'm making you breakfast, and it's gonna be the best damn breakfast I've ever made. Lay back down," you insisted, marching off to the kitchen, wincing at the still-cold floor.

As nice as it sounded to stay under the warm blankets, Nolan didn't want to just sit there doing nothing. Suddenly he had an idea, even though it was a risky one. He decided it was a risk he needed to take eventually.

"Get out!" you playfully threatened, brandishing a spatula at him as he stepped into the kitchen. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I won't touch!"

"Good," you smirk, turning back to your pan.

Nolan shuffled around nervously, working up the courage to say what he wanted to. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I, uh...I have an idea for what you can give me. If you, uh, still want to give me something. Besides breakfast, I mean." Smooth, Patrick, he thought.

"What's that?" You met his gaze, making his stomach flip. The things you do to him and you have no idea.

"Maybe we can go out sometime? Like, just us. On purpose. To dinner or something?"

You looked like a deer caught in the headlights, making Nolan immediately second-guess himself. He bashfully broke your eye contact, focusing on the floor again. He felt the blush on his cheeks worsening.

"Are you... serious?" you ask, voice full of wonder.

"Of course I am!" he mumbled insistently. "Wouldn't ask if I wasn't."

You almost knocked him over with the force of your hug, a truly impressive feat.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!!!" you laughed, not even bothering to play it cool. Nolan smiled so much it started to hurt, but he didn't care. He felt like he could take off and fly, he was so relieved. The weight of the world was replaced by the weight of you clinging to his shoulders. And he couldn't imagine a better way to spend his Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, Christmas would be like this forever from now on.

*****

You relaxed into Nolan's arms as he followed you back to the stove, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. Suddenly, you felt something more than the giddy high of getting asked out by your crush. You felt a sort of peace you hadn't felt since before you moved.

You were home for Christmas.

[lumina-star-okochi]

In-depth Character profile: Lumina Okochi (Also Looking for RP contacts thing.)

IDENTIFICATION —

·         Full Name: Chiyoko Okochi (Lumina)

·         Pronunciation: Chee yo ko - O ko chee (Lew me nah)

·         Pseudonym: none

·         Nicknames: Lumi, Lumina.

·         Age: Twenty-two Cycles

·         Name Day: 10th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

·         Birthplace: Okochi Manor, Monzen district of Doma.

·         Guardian (Eorzean): Menphina, the Lover

        Guardian (Othardian):  The Trickster; Tamamo-no-Gozen.

·         Residence: Shirogane apartment, Family estate within the Lavender Beds, and has a room at a friend’s private estate in the Goblet. REFERENCES —·        Motto:  “No matter what I do, it’s for the sake of those I love.” Theme Song: here Face Claim:  -W-What’s a face claim?

STATS —

·         Gender: Female

·         Race: Au Ra (Raen)

·         Height: 4 feet, 7 inches

·         Weight: ninety five ponze.

·         Eyes: Ice/diamond Blue - a pronounced snake like slit pupil when angry.

·         Hair: Natural - White, Dyed - Brown.

·         Skin: Pale, nearly sickly pale.

·         Build: Lithe, slender, soft, weak. Body is yet, taken care of, shaved and descaled (in places that scales shouldn’t be.) to appear more attractive to both the female, and male eye.

·         Scars: A stab-scar on her right palm, a scar on cheek from a fishing accident, runes carved into her left arm.

·         Tattoos: A coloured tattoo of a Koi on her left thigh, using her scales to add texture, and detail to the portrait. A tattoo of a Sakura tree on her back, only the petals are coloured, the tree is a solid black. A Monochrome Eastern styled dragon tattoo, gripping the Okochi family’s crest in it’s front claws.

      *This part would be easier if I had my drawing tablet to show you her scale/tail/horn profile.

At First Glance (+5) Shy: Lumina comes off as very quiet and shy, given that she has very poor social skills due to spending her childhood locked away in a Hospital for most of her life, some can see her stuttering, and fidgeting adorable, others can find her long pauses, and staring to be unsettling and creepy. She’s a business woman with no, or very little Charisma. Gentle: Lumina’s very gentle and doe like. And very easily scared and over powered. Her grip is always soft, her smile weak and unintimidating, she comes off as very weak. To her advantage and disadvantage. Some can be unassuming to her wants and the sort, others won’t take her seriously when she wants to be. Kind: Lumina’s mindset is to brighten not her own existence, but others. When she can muster up the courage to talk to someone she dumps compliments on them like no return. Which could cause trouble, as many think she’s flirting with them. Which is hardly the case. Hidden away: One look into Lumina’s eyes can easily show that she’s got a lot of secrets and suffering hidden away. Never to be let out. She simply bottles it all up and remains in relative silence for a long, good while.  Lady/Noble/Princess-like: Lumina’s been taught to be well mannered, polite, speak when spoken to, and all the elegant business of a princess and or noble. She aims to represent the Okochi name in it’s purest form. Gentle, sweet, and polite. 

FACTS —

·         Occupation: Alchemist, Pharmacist, Doctor, Surgeon, Business-woman.

·         Specialties: Healing magick/spells, medicine preparation, strong aetherpool.

·         Skills:  surgical skills. (Specialist in cardio-vascular, muscles, joints, and mental health.) Drawing, Poetry, being able to memorize another’s face at first-glance. PROFICIENCY —·                  Education: Educated in languages including (Xaela, Imperial, Old Roe, Hingan and of course, Eorzean), biology of the races, Aether control and manipulation, the basics (Math, reading writting, etc),  Tharumaturgy, Arcanium.                   Favored Weapon(s):  A rapier, Catalysts for magick.           Secondary Weapon(s): A dagger marked with the Okochi’s family crest. ·         Magic Abilities: Arcanium, Tharumaturgy, “illegal” student of Astromancy. Magic Strengths: Stronger aetherical manipulation than most, larger aetheric pool than most,  better control with lightning and ice aspected spells, and illusions.  (I made Lumina a more magick based character ;w; pls no thinky she’s op, she can’t even lift over 50 ponze.)

RELATIONS —

·         Sexual Preference: Pansexual ·         Romantic Identification: Polygamous 

·         Relationship Status: Taken 

·         Sweet on:  Bolormaia 

·         Alignment: Lawful neutral

·         Allies: The Okochi family, and staff. The Broken Blades Adventuring, and mercenary Free Company. (And hopefully more if people would rp with me ;w;)

·         Enemies:  Claudien Winter. FAMILY — ·         Siblings:  Soka Okochi (Elder blood brother.) Viktor Soulstar. (Elder adoptive brother.) Kiyo Okochi (Elder blood sister.) Miho Okochi (Elder blod sister) Furai Okochi formerly Obinata (Adoptive little sister.) ·         Parental: Chiyo Okochi and her husband. (I forget his name.) -- Died when Lumina was only 2 years old. ·         Mentor: Oohoh almost got me, I can’t reveal my AST teacher’s name. ·         Associates: Nataru Hirano, Valirelia Hirano and their company members.       MENTALITY — ·         Social Level: Shy, quiet, nervous, twitchy. ·         Optimistic View(s): Too caring for her own good. ·         Pessimistic View(s): Believes that everyone should serve a role in society. ·         One  Positive Personality Trait: Once she’s comfortable/friendly with another she’s absolutely caring, and loyal to them. ·         One Negative Personality Trait: No social grace, and is too hard on herself. ·         ·One Personality Warning: Don’t talk about her family in a bad manner when she’s around. ·         Random Quirk: Lumina likes to play with her hair when she’s standing idle. ·         Hobbies: Drawing, writing poetry, painting, reading. ·         Addictions: Gambling. ·         Habits: Avoids crowds, can’t look others in the eyes at first. ·         Pleasures: She loves glamorous items jewelry, clothing, furnishing, paintings, so on and so forth.

Appreciates (List 5+)

Love Companionship Her family Quiet settings Foxes

Dislikes (List 5+)

Claudien Winter Liars Abusers Psychopaths Shiba Inus 

Strengths (List 5+)

Intelligent Professional Crafty Aetherical skill. Charm..?(Debatable.)

Weaknesses (List 5+)

Clingy Easy to Hurt As strong as twig No, to little combat skills. Gets attached easily

Fears (List 5+)

Seclusion Exclusion People Bugs Claudien Winter FAVORITES –– ·         Favorite Food(s): Udon Noodles ·         Favorite Drink(s): Coffee, and Hot Chocolate ·         Favorite Scent(s): Cherry blossoms, pine-wood, roses. ·         Favorite Colors: Pink, white, red, and black TRIVIA - - idk what to put here... OOC - Server: Balmung Timezone: CST Experience: Roleplay experience of 8-9 years. Prefers medium-long posts but will mirror my partner at the time to not overwhelm them. Type of RP: Any/All - Long as it fits a story between the two characters. I do not mind, I will however not wish for any death, maiming, or crippling injury done to Lumina without my consent. Looking for: Friends for Lumina to interact with.  Or even more foes, be it in business terms, or actual battle. Tagged by @bryterbythenight Tagging... (I never know who to tag for these.) @follows-by-vali @bolormaia @gilded--serpent  @kasespatch @foxlike-ffxiv @strawberrymlem @dusk-with-dawnxiv and anyone else who wants/may want to do this...? I feel weird tagging people in these sorts of stuff ;w;  Would appreciate any and all signal-boosts.