#but its shit like this or like him reacting irl to getting hurt in game or something. that post was very wise

[mauv-the-bluest-cat-ever]

petting him like a cat

[itgirlgyu]

how i think txt would react if their female best friend sat on their lap

requested!

YEONJUN...

oh my god totally bitchless behavior coming in within 0.4 seconds

like this man will stop functioning, like is it normal to have your hands on the side?

tries to strike a pose

like daniel,, bby you're embarrassing yourself

swear he thinks he's like aha so fine

might lean back to play it cool

but you know he stiff as hell

like basically it's that dad pose when you know you've disappointed him and you're about to sit with him in a dark living room to soak in the immeasurable shame you've brought to the family.

his undergarment is drenched from stress sweats

might actually start stuttering

pls get off him before his dry sex life makes him pop a boner and the friendship gets ruined for life.

SOOBIN...

his head starts overheating due to overthinking the moment you sit on his lap like

the only two option were the floor where beomgyu spilled his drink or any of the dudes lap and he's your bestie boo so ofc you'd pick him

right?

tries to gaslight himself into thinking it's fine

like sure this shit is fine and it's normal to sit on each others laps.

but inside his head there are 4 tabs open, two of them are having a debate on the pros and cons of having your best friend on your lap and other two are playing tiktok random hits and he doesn't know which one he should tune in to

for the peace of his own mind, he tries to sit on your lap the next time

tit for tat he says.

BEOMGYU...

starts acting like you are crushing his thighs

he knows you playing so he's like aha two can play the game

girl you really thought you will outdo the doer

the og mr. mood breaker?

will straight up start moaning in your ears

starts squirming and whining like

'oooof my thighs are so fragile,'

does not give two cents about the place he is in

or the situation

or what people will assume

if soobin is the overthinker, beomgyu rarely thinks

its like his brain just takes off in a rush and it's taken over by the sheer need to annoy the fuck out of his bestie.

he's like the fly you can't just quite swat away

literally starts doing his own echo moan from one ear to another

you have to admit the defeat and get up on your own.

TAEHYUN...

will not straight up push you off him.

but the look he gives you, he might as well just put in the physical effort and do it.

his face is like, 'you did this for what?'

'why not?'

'why though?'

tries to get used to you sitting on him

like its chill

you're his bestie and he's a gym goer

so it does work out nicely

but the thing is like,

your back is blocking his vision

like its all chill and cute in movies but irl your sight will definitely get blocked and it has nothing to do with the person's height!

he tries to adjust so that he doesn't need to kick you off of him

and hurt your feelings or something

man is here jumping through hoops to seem effortless in order to continue his debate with hyuka about the importance of the balance between peanut butter and jelly in the sandwich

you see his struggle and move over on your own with a new found respect for terry the terrance taehyun kang

HUENING KAI...

he's looking at your head like, hmm you kinda sus

but that lasts like a whole lot of ten seconds before he's like nothings even on him

although he tries to smell the top of your head like what is the difference between a baby's head and an adult's crown

he is a curious little crow, it's one of his charms

makes a quick mental note to break it to you gently that you might need to take a lil bit more hygiene care on the top of your head.

he leans back

unlike yeonjun the daniel choi, he's fr chill

also man's broad as hell

he's like meant to be a chair at this point

you can lean in as much as you want on him and you know he would fine with anything

like he barely feels you on him anyway

you can probably just lean back on him and he'd cradle you like his first born

just maybe not kiss the top of your head

but he finally got an idea what to gift you on your birthday!

so it all worked out for the best!

© to itgirlgyu. feedbacks are highly appreciated and welcomed!!!!

[oh-boy-me]

How would the brothers, diavolo and Solomon. (I'm so sorry if that's too much you don't have to do all of them I'm just curious) react with MC who is super clumsy and is always getting hurt on accident? Thank you so much. ❤️❤️

More characters will take a little bit longer to get out, but no character count is too many!  I hope you like this ^^

Lucifer:

It is Lucifer’s job to make sure they survive this year, and MC keeps tripping and falling which is NOT how one survives.  If he hadn’t caught them on Monday, they would have fallen down the stairs.  If he hadn’t caught them on Tuesday, they would have run face first into a door!  It’s only Wednesday and Lucifer can’t get any sleep, thinking that every creak in the floorboards is MC on their way to some unknown danger.

One of Diavolo’s prized exchange students poking their eye out on the dining room table is a big no no, so he essentially gives MC an ultimatum.  Either they be more careful, or he will baby-proof the entire House of Lamentation.

If they drop and break things often he may just bar them from ever entering his study.

With all that said, he cares more about MC’s condition than his house’s condition, so he always makes sure they’re ok before lecturing them on paying attention to their surroundings.

Mammon:

The first three days of MC’s time in the Devildom?  Couldn’t care less; a sinkhole could swallow them up in front of him and it wouldn’t be any lost sleep on his part.  What was a bruised elbow?

The other 362 days?  You’d think HE was the one that got hurt with how he gets over it.  The whole House of Lamentation knows when MC has gone and done something clumsy, because Mammon’s “oh shit!” rings clearly through the hallways.

Asks if they’re ok for far longer than is necessary.  If he doesn’t believe them when they insist they’re fine, he quizzes them on how many fingers he’s holding up.  Even if it was a papercut.

He’s shit at patching someone up, but he still insists on doing it himself.

Ironically, for panicking the most he does the least to prevent MC from hurting themself.

Over time he’ll probably learn to mellow out and recognize when MC is actually hurt and when they’re just bumped.  Probably.

Leviathan:

lmao n00b

Leviathan’s first instinct is to laugh, which he feels super bad about, but ROFLMAO this normie can’t even walk straight IRL without tripping and falling.

After that he does make sure they’re ok, and that they don’t need any ice or bandages or anything.  If they aren’t ok, he panics a bit and gets another brother to help them out, most likely Lucifer or Asmo.  Over time, he may be able to handle it himself, but for now that was real human blood okay?!  He wasn’t ready for that, he felt faint.

Honestly he’s probably the chillest demon about it; he’s clumsy himself, especially when he gets distracted.

Eventually he gets so used to their lack of coordination that when they leave his room he calls out the objects on his floor for them to avoid, finishing off with “door!”  He doesn’t have to look up from his game to do this.

Satan:

Satan tries to warn MC when they’re about to bump into something, but he always seems to be a bit too late.

He went on WebMD once and now he’s convinced that every single time MC hits their head they have a concussion.  He also read that they’re not uncommon and not deadly (for the most part) so he also doesn’t really… do anything about it?  He just kind of sits in silent anxiety.

Whenever he invites MC out, he does his best to stay alert so he can avert any disasters.  Books falling off shelves?  MC falling off book ladders?  Satan’s there to catch them.  Cooking together?  Why don’t they let him handle the cutting?

With practice, he gets very good at catching them right before they trip.  He always, always makes the “falling for me” joke.  Unless they were about to go down the stairs.  Then he yells at them.  Don’t scare him like that, goodness.

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus doesn’t really mind how clumsy MC can be--he thinks their lack of coordination is endearing.

However, that doesn’t mean that precautions can’t be taken!  If MC includes makeup in their daily routine, they are now banned from doing it themselves.  What if they drop the bottle and waste its contents?  This is absolutely just an excuse to play makeup artist, and he’ll only try to deny it once.

Bumping into things gives humans bruises REALLY fast, which is NOT the look we are going for, thank you very much.  Whenever MC runs into something, he laments the eventual discolored spot in what may as well be a eulogy for their skin with how dramatic he gets.

If MC actually got considerably hurt, though, the drama would fly out the window.  Asmo would get them properly patched up right away, without a single word coming out of his mouth.

Later on he will dramatically complain that they nearly died on him, though.

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub is an interesting case, because while he does get concerned about them when they get hurt, he also can tell that it’s nothing major.  As an athlete, he knows how to identify signs of an actual serious injury.

His answer to basically every injury is ice, so his precautions mainly consist of making sure the freezer's ice machine is stocked and working.

He has a very bad habit of poking the spot that got hurt, and his “sorry” afterwards is enough to break even the stoniest of hearts.  He’s very afraid that he’s more dangerous to them than the kitchen counter ever could be, so MC will have to reassure him that his soft poke didn’t shatter their arm.

Beel recommends that MC does some core exercises with him, since a strong core is good for coordination.  He also reminds them to not multitask too much and get some sleep.  Essentially he’s the only one here with actual solutions.

Belphegor:

Belphie outwardly complains about how clumsy they are and how inconvenient it is, while internally worried sick about whether or not they’re alright.

For some reason he doesn’t even hide his worry when MC bumps into something.  MC hurt themself with a sharp object?  Be more careful next time, stupid.  MC trips and sprains their ankle?  Geez, if they hadn’t been going so fast, this wouldn’t have happened.  MC bumps into a dresser?  Oh shit are they ok???

He’s also frustrated about the fact that they’re most likely getting hurt when he’s not there, since he’s so often asleep, and so many of his hangout ideas equate to taking naps.  Like hell is he trusting his brothers to keep MC from banging into every hard surface.

If they roll out of bed, the thud may give him a heart attack right then and there.

This may be one of the few things that he has more anxiety than Beel over.

Diavolo:

The first time they trip, Diavolo nearly has someone call an ambulance, even though demons are very capable of tripping as well.  MC is human, though, and his gauge of human fragility is essentially just a guess at that point.

Well, it turns out that humans literally Do Not Care™ about most injuries, which is first of all a huge relief and second of all SO fascinating??  They’re made of glass when compared to a demon, but they get back on their feet as fast as possible.  You go, you funky humans.

At the same time, Diavolo has a hard time practicing what he preaches; while he celebrates this newfound discovery that his exchange program brought about, he still freaks out whenever MC says “ow.”

When it does happen, he kind of just freezes up so it’s not like he was being of much help even if a stubbed toe could kill a human.

Lucifer threatened to baby-proof the House of Lamentation, but Diavolo really might go through with baby-proofing the student council room.  At least he doesn’t try to involve the hospital anymore.

Solomon:

Solomon is a human too, so he knows that MC is just a klutz and not in much real danger.

He knows that anything MC is holding is in more danger than MC themself most of the time, and he knows that all MC really needs to get back on their feet is a quick “you good down there?” and a hand to help them up.

That said, he’s very protective of his own stuff while MC is around.  If something actually does happen to it it’s no hard feelings, but until then he does his best to keep them far away from anything breakable or dangerous.

And of course if it was more than a bump, as a fellow human he’s got that covered too.

Like Asmo, at the end of the day he thinks it’s kind of cute.

He’s not really sure why the others so often volunteer MC to carry his dishes out of the kitchen when he cooks?  They know MC has a high chance of dropping things.  It’s almost like they don’t want to eat what he makes, but that couldn’t be true, right?

Masterlist

[everything-laito]

How would you react if someone close to you found out you enjoy Diabolik Lovers and then accused you of glorifying Laito’s actions by drawing fan art of him? I don’t think it is shameful to enjoy fiction with themes of abuse as long as one can differentiate between fiction and reality and right and wrong, but I was just wondering if you think it is worth ending a whole friendship because of this dispute. My friends think I am someone who supports sexual assault through this series and it hurts.

Coming back from the dead to answer this question

Oh goodness, first of all, I’m very sorry anon. I’ve been in that exact situation with a friend when I first got into DL six years ago. They’re not my friend anymore due to some other things that happened in early high school on top of that, but trust me, it’s something that I’m familiar with too.

I was also ashamed of myself as well for some time. But, after when I was first sexually assaulted, I still didn’t mind Dialovers, and in fact, it was a coping mechanism for me (probably the healthiest I could find at that moment too). Although, Laito’s HDB route definitely hit very very hard because it is his darkest route in the series. But you can still watch something and be like “oh god this is a terrible situation” but know it’s still fictional, and since Laito’s HDB route is a well written one, you can appreciate it from an artistic stance. Art and media shouldn’t be limited to drawing the positives. Sure does it glorify nonconsensual situations??? Maybe a little but it does show Yui’s deterioration and trauma. Which is why I don’t think it glorifies it too much in HDB, considering what Yui’s thoughts are can be very real.

(Also not saying all sexual assault survivors will have the same opinion of this anime, I don’t speak for all survivors. But there’s your perspective from one :))

Regardless, the fanservice of DL, at its core, is a ravishment fantasy franchise. Sure people are here for the lore too (I know I am), but they can also be for the fanservice. I am unsure how old you are, anon, but considering this petty argument is occurring between a friend and you, it sounds like some high school/late middle school drama to me. I preface this considering I’m gonna be arguing something from the 18+ scale too. If you’re not 18+ this doesn’t rly apply to you (since no minors should be practicing kink) but there is something called CNC, or “consensual non-consensual.” Also known as “rape roleplay.” It’s a kink that can be used in BDSM, and is enacted by consenting adults. Is it nonconsensual? No way! However, in order to practice this, you need a lot of communication and trust, and it’s something that you shouldn’t start out with of course. Also, see Netflix’ “Sex Explained” and I think the first episode is on sexual fantasies. Many women have ravishment fantasies, but that doesn’t mean they want it ACTUALLY to happen to them!! With those types of fantasies it’s just in a D/s (Dom/sub) power play situation, which again, is performed by two (or more) consenting adults.

When it comes to that argument as well, it’s kind of like saying “if you watch and like slasher horror, you support serial killers” which,,,, is far from truth. Murder and rape are both terrible things. We’re just more used to seeing glorified violence on mainstream media rather than rape in general. There’s a whole slasher fandom! With people who love the lore and people who love the characters! It’s pretty similar to this fandom given the circumstances. But there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers, and that’s just,,,, that’s a huge issue (abs very gross), and very different. Since one’s fantasy, and one’s in real life with real life actions that have affected legitimate families that exist. Even going from the slasher serial killer, it’s like “if you like Deadpool, do you support his actions?” (Which yes he’s an antihero but he does pretty illegal things) which no!!! It’s fun to explore dark and illegal exposition in a fictional world! It’s an escape! It’s looking at a story and still having empathy and sympathy for the characters.

So no!!! Liking DL is not supporting rape!! That’s legitimately such a stretch, and if you want to get technical with this, it’s a type of fallacy called the “slippery slope” fallacy. I believe it’s a combo of others too, but it’s making a claim and having the conclusion be way out of left field. I believe it falls under poor deductive reasoning (but it may be unsound inductive reasoning, it’s been a while since I’ve had to use those skills oops). For an anime specific example, let’s just say you know someone who has a crush on Yuno Gasai from Future Diary. Many people do. Many people love her character. Yuno’s a very flawed, traumatized character just like the ones in DL. But people love her! But you’re not supporting her incredibly unethical actions and murder by liking them!

Even if you know that this is a fictional universe, if you knowthat the characters are flawed but still like their characters, that doesn’t mean you’d support their actions irl. If they’re an interesting villain like legitimately all the characters (except Yui) in the first game are (the diaboys become both the villain??? And the hero??? It’s blurred in the later games but that’s what I love about DL), but you can appreciate their characters and flaws, that’s not supporting their actions at all. It’s a goddamn fictional universe and if you know not to do that and you know the repercussions of it irl then your friends should know you well enough that you have a good head on your shoulders!!! Shit makes me wicked mad, but it’s nothing to lose a friendship over unless if they’re being very toxic (that ex friend I was talking about earlier was a very toxic person and that’s also part of the reason why I’m not her friend anymore but it wasn’t DL related). Sure you can disagree with liking DL, but you still have to respect them. I’m linking a video from Markiplier made four years ago with a powerful message.

I’m very sorry you’re going through this. It’s completely normal, healthy, and inconsequential to be exploring a dark fictional world but not its contents in real life. Your friends shouldn’t be treating you like that. It’s hypocritical of them in my opinion, assuming that they also watch stuff with violence and illegal/unethical acts in them—I don’t know a single person who doesn’t, considering there’s even kids cartoon violence. Best of luck you you though, I hope I was able to help.

[tylerwritez]

7:45 p.m. Sunday June 20th

Okay well... writing about the entirety of my day is gonna be. Quite the task.

Whatever. I'm dedicated to making this blog A Thing.

Today was Father's Day, so the first thing I did was get up and go downstairs. Gave my dad his presents. He made us pancakes. (I definitely ate too much today... but tommorow is monday so itll be easier to restrict)

We are, watched youtube, then we drove to Wabuman Lake. Idk,, the drive was just that: a typical car ride in which I struggle to find "car friendly" songs, aka songs that everyone will like... aka anything but metal and vocaloid... aka Radiohead, Weezer and Soda Stereo XD

When we got there, we rented a yellow paddleboat, which is this clunky plastic boat that you pedal to move, like some weird water bicycle. It was sunny, and honestly? I've always found being on the water to be calming. After that, we got ice cream (I got Blueberry Cheesecake flavour, my sister R got Cookies N Cream, and my dad got Burgundy Cherry)

I noted that there were at least 2 historical buildings there, along with... I forgot what I was gonna say. Nothing important.

Oh yeah, lots of cool old shiny cars.

We drove back. Got home, exhausted. I cleaned a bit. Idk. Didnt do much until after supper. Since we had fast food for lunch, we only ate a piece of bread and fruit smoothies for supper. We went out, I got a monster XD even tho my parents told me not to...

I got home, took a shower. While I was in the shower my dad got pissed at me for eating some of his chocolate but HE WAS SO SO SO MAD I was thinking to myself he cant be this mad over some choclate but you never know with my parents... they kinda hate me but also dont at the same time it's weird and hard to navigate.

Anwyays when I went downstairs he just. Seemed to have forgotten it ever existed and I mean, if he didnt mention it I wasn't gonna either. I did some homework then "went to sleep" aka went to my room, turned off the light, and pretended to sleep but actually talked to people online

People keep inviting me to hang out with them and I just hope my parents say yes to it all...

My friend Bee on Tuesday, Jay on Wednesday, on Saturday a group picnic...

If they say no to any of this I'll cry /hj

My talk with Jay tonight: I want to fuck him again RIGHT NOW. GET IN MY FUCKINF BED. RIGHT NOWWWW ugh. But also I noticed that since I explained one of my tone tags to him... HE USED ONE IN CONVO WITH ME. And idk. That made me so happy? I dont  know. I like how he proves consistently and constantly that he CARES about being considerate and cares about me.

That's a lot of the letter C but yeah.

And he said at some point that he missed

My body... and my shitty nerd gaming stuff and like. Omg he LIKES MY INTERESTS. I DIDNT BORE HIM TALKING ABOUT COMIC BOOKS AND VIDEO GAMES! SCORE. also he said he'd be down to cuddle without fucking which is. Great too... since I'm touchstarved and well... I call him Daddy. Nuff said.

As for Star... sometimes she just says shit that concerns me like it's nothing and I never know how to respond because I cant help her! I'm not a fucking mental health professional.

... when I told her mY shit she wasnt one either... why do I even try n help. Why dont I just tell her to go to therapy?

I'm angry at her a bit actually. She says shit like "haha just purged" and I'm like.... okay??? What do u want me to say to that.

Or like,,, I NEED TONE TAGS, OKAY??? I DO. this is mainly why I'm mad. She keeps making jokes without /j and I dont register them as jokes.... or maybe they aren't jokes at all and she just says they're jokes cos I get upset.

Sometimes instead of actually telling me how she feels, she uses this emoticon and... I dont understand what shes tryna tell me. And it keeps stressing me out. Idk. I told her look I dont understand it and she said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon" and like...

She tells me all the time no ur not overreacting dont let people tell you that you are and here she is. Telling me I'm overreacting. OUCH. THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IRL. STOP INVALIDATING MY FEELINGS PLEASE.

It actually  hurt me. Like I'm fr crying right now because. Ouch. How hard is it to just put a fucking "/j" after ur words? How hard is it to... use words and explain how u feel instead of giving me a straight faced emoticon. Its frustrating.

Also she keeps saying shit like "omg ur never horny what's wrong w u omg I'm the only one with a sex drive in this relationship how come u never initiate anything I need to fuck someone maybe *sends pic of model* maybe her" which like. A) is ignoring all the times I DID initiate stuff and B) makes me feel inadequate and like. I dont know. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not enough.

:/ I cant really be mad at her for my own brain being stupid.

Why am I so stupid? How come I never understand when people are joking? How come I have these weird things I do to feel comfortable? Why do I twitch and flap my wrists? Why is my ability to sleep restricted by the amount of weight on top of me (I need lots of weight)?

Why am I the worst person ever? I'm being 100 percent serious. My brain doesnt work! It doesnt. My emotions are too strong. They fuck everything up. I hate myself. Like, when Star said "I'm tired of this Jude, it's a fucking emoticon", I started crying. But when Jay said "I always want you to feel comfortable around me", I immediately felt such love toward him and I told him I love you... but I had to say it was as friends. Cos we have a "friends with benefits" thing going on... not even an actual relationship.

Well now I'm sad that he doesnt like me romantically but whatever. Hes too perfect and sweet anywayssss he deserves better than me.

Wait. Where does that leave me?

Alone? Again?

Alone?

ALONE????

Maybe I deserve it... but I actually genuinely cant live like that. I cant. I cant live. Without love. My parents fucked me up like that 🤪

But also I realized that I'm a lot happier in good relationships where people show me they love me and care about me and such.

FUCK JAY JUST TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE LIKES ME... even if it's just as a friendship thing.... I appreciate it so much. Hes so fucking sweet it hurts. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH. he told me, our sex can be rough but our relationship has to be built off trust and respect... LITERALLY FUCK ME RIGHT NOW.

Update we are now officially "best friends forever" but we also kiss and fuck and cuddle okay. That's a thing. I LOVE HIM. it's okay though. I don't know I said yeah let's be bffs then I physcially cringed. It's okay though. I'll be fine. It functions as a sexy romance thing anwyays.

I love him so much. Hes the best. Fucking hell. Hes the kindest person ever.

Also can Star please stop fucking with me. She said she'd stop using the emoticon and I said "thanks" and then she used a weird emoji to react to my thanks because she wanted to "acknowledge that she read my message without liking it".... oh so you dont like it??? What??? I said "okay" and she was like "yikes, you upset?" And I said idk cos I am but whatever and she USED ANOTHER SFUPID DUCKINF EMOTICON THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND WITH THE WORD OKAY OMFG. OMFG. PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THAT MEANDS. OH MY GODDDD. I'm angry.

Fucking hell. I just wish... whatever.

If Jay liked me ROMANTICALLY as well...  perfect life.

Whatever.

My parents have fucked me up really badly. I know so. Today I saw a comic where a kid started crying while getting yelled at and their mom HUGGED THEM. Omfg. If I cry when my parents yell at me they just yell more. The best thing I can do is stay quiet. Fucking hell. Fuck. I wish I got hugged. When I was upset.

Its 1:03 am. Fuck all this emotional turmoil I'm SLEEPING. Fuck this. FUCK MY PARENTS, FUCK STAR, FUCK MOVING AND FUCK SCHOOL. And FUCK STAR.

[maychup]

I know the glitra prompts was a while ago but if you still feel like you wanna write for it I’d be hella interested in seeing how they react to the realisation that they like each other, what makes them realise? Do they tell anyone? If any drama occurs, irl if I’m picturing this in a modern au or canon so feel free to do either!

Imm a do,,,, modern au :)

=====

A fight you can’t win

Catrina Driluth had this way of just... driving Glimmer up the wall.

Figuratively and literally.

Here’s how it works — Catra is an annoying highschool bully, who shoves kids into lockers to take their lunch for the day. Her victims are quite select kids too. Usually it’s the spoiled brats. Sometimes, her flavor shifts to rich jocks. Glimmer’s luck ran out when she realized she’s both. Two days into the school year, she found herself phnned to a locker with Catra threatening her for money.

So Glimmer clocks her in the jaw. Catra looked stunned, but she then threw herself to a brawl.

They were both sent to the office. Catra’s already damaged record pretty much automatically sorted the blame to her; Glimmer got away without a slap on the wrist.

That’s when Catra told her she’ll “pay for that”.

Two months into the school year, she saw something interesting.

Here’s what she saw — two bullies slapping Kyle’s (a well known weeb) stack of binders. They all laughed and made fun of him. One of them even went through his backpack and emptied it out when he couldn’t find anything of value. Glimmer was about to fight off the bullies, but they had already scattered away by the time she stood up. Instead, she helped Kyle clean up.

That’s not the interesting part.

The interesting part happened when both of those bullies ended up in a fight with Catra, and Glimmer was a witness to it all.

Glimmer left to the back of the school. She saw the three of them, except she thought it was a murder scene.

Catra stood over the bodies with a bleeding nose, a cut on her lip, and her fists bruised to hell.

“Hey Princess,” she said as she brushed passed her.

Glimmer debated calling help for the two boys on the pavement, but then again...

“Here, let me help you.”

If Glimmer could pick a spot, it all started there. Everything. Started there. She started watching Catra’s behavior a little more.

And that’s when the patterns arise —

Catra stole money from the rich folk. Almost like a Robin Hood type kind of stealing. It’s not right, for sure, but Glimmer feels something ease in her mind at the realization of it. For some reason, learning that Catra had a heart made her own heart flutter.

And still at the same time.

Because where did all the money go?

That question was answered almost immediately. She spots Catra after school, stopping by a local asian place — the ones where tou could buy a meal that’ll last a week for only five bucks. Catra steps out and heads to the more sullen part of town. Immediately, everyone greets her.

And immediately, Glimmer couldn’t fight the smile on her face as she watches Catra hand out portions of food to the masses.

Immediately, she headed home.

She talks to her friends about it — Bow and Adora. She wonders if they have noticed anything about her.

Bow — who has had surprisingly gentle interactions with Catra — said that when a group of boys in archery bullied him for having two dads, those same boys ended up with missing teeth the following week. That same week, Catra told Bow that he’s ‘Good at archery’.

Adora has had more than one good interaction.

Then again, the two used to be best friends.

Adora saw the most gentle side of Catra. Adora claimed that Catra is very, very observant. That she’d pick up an off hand statement and make something out of it within the next month. Adora remembered this one time she mentioned liking a certain food place to Catra. A few days later, she finds a take out from that place by her doorstep while she was sick with the flu.

Another incident was when Catra heard about Adora’s bullies, making fun of her for being scared of a rat. Catra took the blame by acting like she was terrified of mice, and Adora was just trying to protect her.

The most recent one was when they weren’t friends anymore. Catra fixed her car by stealing the needed pieces from other rich folks’ cars.

“She’s good inside but... really crappy on the outside,” Adora says.

Everything was pretty much the same for next two months. During a football game, though, Glimmer finds herself in a predicament..

She had snuck out, lying to her mom that she was sleeping over at Adora’s place. Really, she went to the homecoming football game. It was for her boyfriend, Roosevelt, who is now her ex-boyfriend after she saw him smooch one of the cheerleaders. And the problem is that Roosevelt was her only ride.

The night was looming over her, and it was far too cold to just walk five miles back home. Still, Glimmer tried.

That’s when this happened — Catra drove up to her in a motorcycle that looks too new to actually be hers.

“Jesus, Brightmoon,” Catra said with urgency. She shedded her hoodie off and urged Glimmer to put it on. “It’s the middle of fucking November, what the hell are you doing just wearing that?”

Glimmer shakes, and Catra looked more annoyed than she was worried.

Catra sat Glimmer down on the back of her motorcycle and they rode all the way back to Glimmer’s community. It’s a quiet home, so Catra’s loud motorcycle could be heard a block away. Glimmer’s grip on Catra’s waist felt incredibly warm. Like as if Catra radiated off some sort of unnatural warmth.

She tries to ignore it, but she can’t. Might as well savor it until it lasts.

When Catra pulls up to their house, her mother is already running out if the front door.

Catra doesn’t say a word as her mother started lecturing her about lying. She also started yelling at her about how worried she was when she called the Grey household because Glimmer wouldn’t pick up her calls. Glimmer tried to talk back, but what do you say when your mother catches you lying red handed?

“And you,” Catra visibly flinches when her mother started yelling at her. It... it’s a first. Glimmer doesn’t know what to make out of it.

So instead, she defends Catra.

In the end, her mother invites Catra back into the house for food and warmth. Her mother asks Catra questions upon questions, and for each of them Catra answered with full honesty.

It’s all revealed right in front of Glimmer — Catra is a bully who bullies bullies who bully those who don’t deserve bullying.

“What about me then?” Glimmer asks.

“I thought you were a snob too, but Kyle told me you helped him when those boys picked on him.”

After a few moments, Catra ends up sitting in Glimmer’s bedroom. She looked in awe of everything in the room. Every little trinket was picked up carefully before being placed back the way it was. She looks ethereal doing so.

Glimmer has watched Catra, but she hasn’t really seen her like this.

When Catra picks up a stuffed animal and teases her sbout it, Glimmer mentions how they’re old ones from her childhood.

“Mom never bought me these kinds of stuff,” Catra chuckles.

“Is it... because of money?”

Catra shrugged, finger still trailing a line to touch every item in the room. “No, she had the money,” there was something dark in her voice, “but she just wasn’t invested in me.”

This is when everythinf clicked together — Catra’s not the monster the world made her out to be.

“Is that why you hurt other kids?” Glimmer took a bold step towards her.

Catra stops and shrugs.

“That’s not good for you. You need to get help —“

“I know,” Catra sighs “but not yet. Not when my mother has the rights to know about my counseling sessions.” Step.

“I... take it you tried and it didn’t go very well?” Step.

“Something like that.” Step.

Glimmer takes Catra’s hand away from its roaming.

“Sparkles,” Catra whispers, “if this goes out to anyone at school, I’ll —“

“Beat me up?”

Catra’s smile carefully grows. The hand on hers grips hers. “If that’s what you’re into.”

Glimmer flusters. “I —“

“Oh, shit. That was supposed to be a joke but — ow!” Catra snickers when Glimmer shoves her back.

Catra retaliates by pushing her back. They rough around, and for once Glimmer feels some of the power in Catra’s body. No wonder she could take on groups of men. She was rippling with strength. Probably even more than Adora.

Definitely more than her.

Here’s what it was — Catra figuratively and literally pushes Glimmer up the wall.

Here’s what it is — Catra pushes Glimmer up the wall with their lips carefully dancing together. Glimmer can’t remember who made the first move, but it doesn’t matter. For someone so rough, Catra’s kisses were achingly gentle.

Glimmer did ‘pay’ alright.

Glimmer punched Catra in the face with her fist. And Catra struck her heart with everything she’s got.

And Glimmer hates to admit it, but it’s a fight she didn’t want to win.

[latin-dr-robotnik]

Sonic Movie thoughts (spoilers)

So, after spending some days thinking and writing, I finally finished up rounding up all of my Sonic Movie thoughts. Most of these are lifted from my Spanish-written reviews, both with spoilers and without spoilers, so this is something that I've been cooking for a while now.

First of all, I’m sooooo surprised by this movie! I mean, when I stepped into the theater I expected a 6.5/10 to 7/10 movie, but after watching it I consider it to be a solid 8/10. It was a 9/10 in some moments, but there were some nitpicks of mine that hurt that score. Jim Carrey was a 10/10 through and through, of course.

Another thing that I really loved was how the secondary cast was easily capable of keeping the fun factor up in between Sonic-Tom-Robotnik action sequences. Agent Stone was always a personal highlight (he’s so nice and chill, I want him to wake me up each morning), but characters like Wade, Carl and specially Rachel were just too much fun for what I originally expected to be just throwaway characters. Rachel in particular I felt like she carried the movie between Tom and Sonic reaching SF and the final confrontation, her whole shtick was very simple, but effective.

MAN, THAT ENTIRE BAR SEQUENCE WAS SICK. Sonic watching Hot Rods so hyped was funny, and even though the “he’s older than he looks but don’t give him alcohol” joke was weird, the whole Bar sequence was sick as fuck. I particularly laughed a lot at the mention of a “ZZ Top cover band” playing, which may be a result of my dad actually listening to ZZ Top tributes IRL. But then the bar fight happens, and the way the whole sequence was directed, animated and presented was simply mind blowing. Favorite moment of the entire movie, 10/10 would watch again. Also, Fry reference when Sonic stops time? (Futurama gang rise up)

Kids jokes vs adult jokes were something that low-key caught my attention when watching the movie. I noticed that kids enjoyed Sonic’s silly shenanigans a lot more, while we adults were laughing at each single second Jim Carrey was on screen. Also, Rachel’s jokes had a tendency to not make children laugh that much, but man I would be lying if I didn’t say I laughed my ass off when she spelled D-I-V-O-R-C-E to Maddie. Of course there was going to be a generational breach, but I thought it was interesting to see how kids reacted versus certain jokes in comparison to adults.

Speaking of jokes, I saw lots of critics complaining about the way certain jokes would not stick and were potentially “cringe material”, but to be honest I can’t think about more than two or three instances where a joke really made me slap my face and nod in disagreement. I thought even the sillier jokes were mildly funny, maybe due to the fact I was able to completely shut down my brain since the first minute. Either that or my sense of humor is shit.

Now for a complete change of pace. I thought the final sequence was beautiful, not from a narrative perspective, but for the way the whole thing was set and done. Awesome climax, but I could not take the “emotional” moment of Sonic dying seriously, only because this franchise has that fucking morbid tendency to kill its protagonist, and when I realized what was going on I started to laugh. Not only it was predictable, but to be honest, it’s emotional message went over me big time. Though, like I say on my Spanish review, being predictable, by the numbers and cliché doesn’t mean that it’s bad. Not at all. It’s just... I couldn’t take the scene in the same way some of you took it and reflected upon here on Tumblr.

Though that last point could’ve sounded like a personal gripe, it really wasn’t. I only had three major gripes with the Sonic Movie, and those were: 1) Sonic doing the floss... TWICE; 2) Sanic in 2020, are you serious? (at least it was presented with some decent context, I buy the fact Carl drew that); 3) that whole Olive Garden thing. Those three points do really bring the movie down from that 9/10 spot from me, but think about it: those were the only THREE short moments that I did not like during an 1 hour and 40 minutes movie. That speaks volumes about the quality of the overall project.

This one may be a little more local to me, but I was pleasantly surprised to hear that the Latin Spanish dub of the movie was pretty nice. I’m normally a subs or original language only guy, but I didn’t have any trouble with the way the actors were dubbed. Mario Castañeda has been dubbing Jim Carrey for decades now and he’s still top notch, while Luisito Comunica’s Sonic wasn’t nowhere as annoying as I once feared he could be. I’m still going to watch the movie in English whenever it releases digitally or something.

Last point: would you believe me if I tell you I didn’t want to listen to Speed Me Up until I was there staring at the credits? Because that’s what I did. I didn’t listen to a single Sonic Movie track before going, and while I don’t usually pay too much attention to movies’ OST (I’m way more strict with game OSTs), I thought Speed Me Up was quite nice. Now, don’t expect me to spend my days listening to the OST, but I least I was left a good impression by what I could remember. That 16-bits ending sequence was glorious, too.

So, that was the Sonic Movie to me, an unexpectedly better movie than I thought, and the comeback of the century to be honest. I was one of the people that really feared for it back during the first trailer, so after everything that was done to solve that mess I felt obligated to pay up some tickets (because I invited my best friend to go with me, he’s a true trooper and a big Jim Carrey fan). And so I did, and so I was pleasantly surprised.

Can’t wait for Sonic 2 featuring Tails, which is cool and everything... but when are we getting Amy tho? Maybe a vague enough, Sonic CD-esque plot adaptation? COLLISION CHAOS ON THE BIG SCREEN LIKE GHZ? BIG FUCKING YES if so.

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[peanutdracolich]

Peanut Dracolich Watches Horror: Saw

I had never seen Saw. What I had heard led me to believe it led to a period of gruesome torture porn as horror films and was itself a film about gruesome torture and ‘oh look bloodshed the horror’. It was not.

This was in fact a pleasant surprise. It did not rely upon gruesome showings of severed limbs and cut open stomachs, but understood that hey the implication is more horrific. It was instead Psychological Horror of the locked in a room murder gamey type. I enjoy this horror in manga and stories. So this was a pleasant surprise.

It was also a badly done example of this type of horror. The villain relied too far on luck and people acting extremely stupid and in some cases extremely uncharacteristically stupid. The film was sloppy with details, that in the sort of puzzle it was presenting you would and should be looking at. While some of these were inconsequential (ok in the long run it didn’t matter that the dude instantly dried off) it was jarring from the mystery and the horror and the film asked me to look for it. It lacked the fun that made Child’s Play enjoyable despite the bad (and I’d say Child’s Play wasn’t worth the time) leaving it unsatisfactory.

Ultimately I expected a film at about The Omen’s quality. Nothing that I’d be wondrously impressed by, nor anything that would make me groan. Instead I found it profoundly disappointing even by those standards and would put it closer to Uzumaki; though it did do many things better than Uzumaki it invited the critical/analytical brain and it should not have done that. Unlike The Omen, Alien: Covenant, and Prince of Darkness I feel no need or desire to ever watch this film again.

Still the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and my screaming loathing of Adam as an annoying dolt... I mean my scene by scene are below the cut.

The Good:

The Bear Trap story: It’s not surprising that they picked this for the 10 year anniversary poster. This story was in fact chilling and horrific (if not scary but horror and scary are not always the same). It was the best part of the film.

The creepy doll: The puppet is creepier than Chucky. it just didn’t really get to do much in the film to capitalize on it.

Cary Elwes. I like him. And his character was actually likeable despite his flaws. You root for him which is necessary in this sort of film.

 The Bad:

The Music. It slips from mediocre horror movie track to feeling like it's a laughtrack telling me when to be scared, attempting to manipulate my emotions with all the skill of an auditory jump scare. Yes suddenly loud/creepy tone as they reveal the object. I'm so scared.

Adam. You need to like him. You need to be torn between Cary Elwes's character killing him or not, you need to want him to survive. He annoyed me throughout the film until the last 5 minutes. The only reason to want him to win is because you want the monster to lose more.

The resolution: While the very last 3 minutes are good, the events that lead to the resolution are a cluster of stupidity that just leaves a bad taste in the mouth (especially as it was coming from Cary Elwes who had been smart before that).

The start: It starts off on the wrong foot with Adam being annoying and stupid. This means it makes a bad first impression it has to fight against, and while the Bear Trap scene does that... well it just means it had an uphill battle to reach the bear trap scene and then unfortunately goes back to Adam.

 The Ugly:

The 'frantic mode' accelerated footage. At first I thought it was supposed to be time skip, but no apparently it's just supposed to be some stylistic 'things are happening frantically' and it doesn't work well. Show them being frantic, that'd have worked better.

The details. Details are important in this type of plot, and the movie ignores things like 'he has another tool' or 'he should be soaking wet' and it detracts heavily from it; sometimes as just 'nitpicks' that would normally be shrugged off if it was not a movie that demanded that sort of attention, and sometimes as ‘your plot hinges on stupidity because you didn’t show this as failing’ which just leaves a bad taste at the best of times.

And now my unsatisfied play by play

Saw (Film)

 Nice start. Immediately gets into the creepy with waking up drowning in a bath. Character loses points for 'I'm probably already dead'. You've got a chain on your foot, and you woke up in a life or death situation, you shouldn't be jumping to that yet. Actually I just don't like the dialogue thus far.

 Music does its job to try and trick me into thinking a dead body is scary. Those burns on the face of the man with the gun are... supposed to be muzzle burns? Every line from main character makes me like him less. And I want to know how he got here drowning without the doctor noticing something. I mean the water wasn't rising, it was over his face. He should have been drowning well earlier if he was put in first.

 And you question the doctor on why he knows that 'if your kidneys were stolen it'd hurt like hell'. Adam you annoy me. Every line from your mouth has annoyed me. You are an idiot and it's only 6 minutes into the film.

 Still Adam and the doctor Lawrence are trapped in a shit hole room together, with tapes in their pockets, and padlocked and chained to a pair of pipes. The tapes so to play them, though, and the dead body in the center of the room has a cassette player so.

 Adam is stupid some more... also surprisingly dry. Like his clothes aren't wet at all. Does this film not understand how water works? I don't think this film understands that water is wet.

 Tape is ok. Gravely voice is so so effect for horror, music accents it well. Still it's basic serial killer threat of you might die in here. Which yes you woke up chained up in a room that's to be expected. The Doctor's tape is more fun. He has to kill Adam! Adam knows this. Doctor also seems to have a better idea what the puzzle is going on than Adam, but I feel that Adam never knows what the puzzle is going on. Ok, it finally does something scarier than 'locked in room' (scary irl but the stakes are low in that the monster has already won, the danger can only decrease); the fact that his wife and daughter (I'm guessing) are threatened adds danger once more, something more than just the madman has already won.

 Adam is surprisingly cooperative with the man who just got told to kill him. And there's a bad bit of humor/gross out with Adam reaching into the bowl of the toilet instead of checking under the lid first and having to deal with disgusting poop water. They find hacksaws, but Adam breaks his and the iron chain is just too thick and hard for the rusty old piece of junk. Lawrence realizes that they're supposed to cut their own feet off.

 We get a campfire story about a serial killer from Lawrence. Thus far film's best thing is average music. Still murder games/torture is creepy. Um Lawrence, technically speaking putting someone in a situation that will kill them if they do nothing or if they try and escape is murder. There is no technically not a murderer here. Don't say stupid stuff, I want to like one of you.

 Still we learn some stuff from the murder game stories. Jigsaw, the killer, likes to watch. Also Dr. Gordon had a patient that looks like the dead dude on the floor, and an underling who was Ben in Lost. I don't trust Ben. Ben just has a villain face. Oh and Jigsaw left Lawrence's penlight at the scene of one of the crimes. Fun. Apparently his alibi was that he was having an affair. I currently suspect Ben.

 I have mostly not commented on the 'campfire stories' but they're not actually bad. The reverse beartrap is actually creepy. The puppet works. And if the film can keep this quality (instead of the first 10 minutes) it'll be pretty good. the fast movement thrashes of the victim and attempt at frantic is more headache inducing than scary, though, and I am unsure if I'm supposed to think it's a long time (which the fast forwarded motion implies) or just 'panic mode' which makes more sense with the time. The sounds and movements of the man as she cuts him open to get the key is effective. The rummaging in his stomach less so. And then we get frantic mode again as she takes off the helmet with the key.

 The puppet appears and is creepy. Far creepier than Chucky was. But I've not been scared. The only story with tension was the woman's thus far, and now that it's gone I feel unsatisfied as I didn't get the fear hit.

 Adam is a dumbass. But picking up a piece of broken glass realizes it's a two way mirror and then starts throwing shit at the mirror. In all the stories the rooms were very carefully prepared so that there weren't just random tools, in this one there's a good number in Adam's reach and he's just chucking shit at a camera where it won't hit. Lawrence believes that they have to play the game... and Adam is a total dumb ass again. He needs to keep his mouth shut. I enjoy the film much more when he does.

 We are now 1/3rd through the film. I don't feel primed for horror. I don't feel any desire to stop typing. The movie has been 'better' than Child's Play thus far, but simultaneously it's been less fun because Child's Play at least made me laugh at its serious attempts, and this makes me... want to read Japanese murder porn manga because they get a better hit.

 Musical cue to be scared when Adam reveals the photo of Lawrence's wife and daughter tied and gagged is oo overt, to forced. And... Did Adam take the picture with the clue, or did Lawrence just not react at all to it? We get some immediate horror (as opposed to vague dread) when he comes for Lawrence's wife and daughter in flashback that is now no longer someone's specific memory but just prior events (acceptable technique just on my mind). Unlike with Child's Play I feel this film has an outside chance of actually killing the small child. I hope they don't but... was that Ben's face. I'm pretty sure that was Ben's face. So either Ben did it or he's an accomplice which... not surprising.

 And the detective apparently is 1) Spying on the doctor's home while the abduction takes place, and 2) blaming himself for letting the doctor go while watching the criminal abduct his wife. Detective seems crazy. We also learn this movie was brought to us by Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme donuts the best for cops who are being presented as irrationally hating a doctor enough to watch someone abduct his wife. To be fair he might just be illegaly spying on the doctor and thinks it's an affair, but his words implied the other and either it's... This film does not want me to think about things. Also sound cues for horror have gone from 'mediocre' to 'it feels like a laugh track that is telling me be scared now'.

 We get that the villain is sick, implied to be terminally ill, and he cuts Tapp, and this is implied to be a flashback to after Gordon gave his alibi but before they... shot Jigsaw. So it's a fake or he's playing dead. Ok lures the young cop into a death trap, and the old cop can't follow because throat is slashed. And his hand that is 'keeping him from bleeding to death' stretches out...

 Still ok Cop is now completely obsessed with catching the man who killed his partner, and talking to his dead partner. This is the creepiest the movie has felt. And Adam is in fact hiding the clue like a dumb ass. Still he half tells him the clue, but not 'oh yeah there's a picture of your tied up family'. Gordon I hope you kill Adam. If only one of you is going to live, I would prefer Gordon. I mean either he should give him the picture, or not give him the clue. If he's trying to make sure Gordon doesn't have the information to kill him not giving him the clue is a good move. It'll lead to them both being left to rot if Jigsaw is honest but... If he's not then give the man his picture, you already (before seeing the picture) made certain he believed it was true and tried to call him cold hearted for not panicking more. Also lying makes you suspicious. Adam lies badly and I agree with Gordon that he's dealing with a juvenile. Adam finally gives the picture clue, after lying about it. And Gordon asks the sensible 'why didn't you show me it before'. We're supposed to think that Adam was just being nice by hiding the pain. He's a douche ass for it, though. Though now Gordon is really thinking about killing him, partially because of the picture and partially because Adam has been a dumb ass.

 Gordon comes up with a plan, in the dark, whispered so that Jigsaw and we don't hear it, we hear enough to get the idea that there is a plan, and it's pretty obvious that it's fake poisoning a cigarette and giving it to the smoker Adam to kill him. This is not a good plan given that they don't know how the poison works, and that Adam is a lousy liar with the most unconvincing death scene. Jigsaw's response is to electrocute Adam. Which apparently makes him remember what happened the night before... Progress?

 An hour in and I have decided that for murder/torture/deathtrap porn I'm just going to stick to Japanese stuff. This reminds me I need to watch Battle Royale.

 Still the scene in his memory is more traditional horror; the killer is in the house.

 Alright his daughter is calling Gordon on a phone that was provided with the last set of stuff. We are... Not scared. Ali tells him not to believe Adam's lies, that Adam knows him, and we saw it in the flashback so it can be believed. Gordon immediately shares the clue. Gordon demands the truth. Adam seems to be a private eye that's been spying on Gordon with pretty obvious flash photography and knows that Gordon was having an affair. Which apparently he broke off last night because she paged him while he was at home and that made him have qualms of conscience... I still like him more than Adam. I'm guessing someone died because Gordon was sleeping around and Jigsaw wants revenge, but idk.

 Adam was hired by Bob for $200 a night. Gordon figures that he's the culprit, and Adam can't remember shit about what he looks like, but finally says 'tall black guy with a scar around his throat', i.e. the detective. We've seen enough shots of a white guy watching them that I don't believe that he's the culprit. Though Ben could be the accomplice to him... I don't believe it quite.

 Ben is named Zep. Zep the Orderly who has been watching them on the camera. And time runs out. With, guestimating 30 minutes or less (maybe only 15 minutes) we finally enter the final act. The music increases the tempo to say danger time is go, and Ben begins to talk to Gordon's wife forcing her to tell him that he failed. Except the wife has slipped her bindings and takes the gun from FailBen. She doesn't shoot him. Shoot him. Shoot him before everything goes wrong. They both break down crying. There's some actual tension, and then FailBen attempts to take back the gun. There's a few shots, and the corrupt ex-cop who has been watching it all finally makes his move.

��And I must simply wonder what is it with horror movies and stabbing people with scissors. Do they really go into the flesh so well? Like seriously several inches? Either way corrupt cop hears a gunshot so comes in to try and play the hero and save Gordon's wife and daughter and apprehend FailBen. We've got the psycho killer is in the house horror, the music is working to increase adrenaline, and the scene is ok. He also electrocutes Gordon presumably to death. We see some 'frantic mode' scenes with FailBen and the cop and then Gordon wakes up.

 Gordon dropped the phone and it's out of reach. He tries to grab it with a box, ignoring that the hacksaw is longer and in reach and would reach it. This ruins the tension a bit, and makes his panic stupid. He ties off his foot, with his shirt (that could also reach the phone) and starts cutting off his foot. And this is supposed to be horror with all this blood and... It mostly makes me feel slightly more nauseous (I have a stomach thing and have felt like puking off and on for the last 30 hours) but mostly that the film is dumb.

 Cop shoots himself in another moment of dumb. The film is dumb. Gordon shoots Adam now that he knows there is no reason to do it. The film is stupid. The film is dumb. I still might have enjoyed it more than Uzumaki, but I think I hated it more too? It leaves you feeling slightly unclean (a good thing in horror), but it's fucking dumb. The plot runs on idiot ball at the end, and before that it's just not good.

 And then there's a good moment. Adam was faking dead and begins to brutally beat Ben with a toilet lid. It's not scary, though, it's senseless brutality. He could have shot him, but the film wanted to show 'scary' brutal murder. And 'chillingly' we learn that FailBen was not the culprit, but another victim. Which is a good ending, music gets the heartbeat up, but it all feels hollow.

 The dead man from the floor rises and kills Adam. Your classic final rise of the monster to show that even in defeat Jason/Freddy has won. "The key to that chain is in the bathtub" Which means it got flushed down the drain. It's a nice effect, but while it feels a lot better as a film, similar to the omen with its good end giving the illusion for a short time of being better, the film is overall dumb. The last 3 minutes do not make up for almost 100 minutes of dumb.

 I came in with low expectations. The film surprised me. It mostly avoided what I was led to expect, and had some legitimately good moments of psychological murder room horror (the woman with the reverse bear trap). It was still, however, worse than I had been led to expect.

 The movie lacks the camp charm of Prince of Darkness, or even Uzumaki. It plays itself as a psychological horror, a genre that is supposed to engage the mind and get you thinking, but relies on a massive idiot ball, and thus if you're thinking it ruins the film. The cop is supposed to be 'secretly a hero' all along, but could have caught the killer by simply making a move when he first realized what was going on instead of watching it like he was getting off on Gordon's family being held hostage and chose to wait until a person who he seems to have evidence is innocent's family is apparently shot before acting because... umm??? Gordon could have reached the phone with the hacksaw, either it was a final chance or too late, and his logical characterization suddenly exploded. Yes he has an IC reason for suddenly going from cold and logical to panicking, but he obviously wants to answer the phone so he's not at that type of panic (should have shown the phone further away). The little bits of stupid added up throughout the film and the ending does not save it by having a sudden creepy reveal; though it does finally answer the itching 'what about the third dude, guys you're obviously missing something' aspect. Still if psychological murder trap horror is your thing, there's a good number of manga about it; it has teenagers which apparently makes it better! Also decent writing.

 I came in expecting something mediocre, on the side of good, something near the level of the Omen. I was disappointed. It demands intellectual involvement (psychological and mystery elements) and cannot stand up to it, leaving a film that is neither fun or fulfilling, and not even a film that is scary.

 The Good:

The Beartrap story.

The creepy doll.

Cary Elwes. I like him. And his character was actually likeable despite his flaws. You root for him which is necessary in this sort of film.

 The Bad:

The Music. It slips from mediocre horror movie track to feeling like it's a laughtrack telling me when to be scared, attempting to manipulate my emotions with all the skill of an auditory jump scare. Yes suddenly loud/creepy tone as they reveal the object. I'm so scared.

Adam. You need to like him. You need to be torn between Cary Elwes's character killing him or not, you need to want him to survive. He annoyed me throughout the film until the last 5 minutes. The only reason to want him to win is because you want th e monster to lose more.

The resolution: While the very last 3 minutes are good, the events that lead to the resolution are a cluster of stupidity that just leaves a bad taste in the mouth (especially as it was coming from Cary Elwes who had been smart before that).

 The Ugly:

The 'frantic mode' accelerated phootage. At first I thought it was supposed to be time skip, but no apparently it's just supposed to be some stylistic 'things are happening frantically' and it doesn't work well. Show them being frantic, that'd have worked better.

The details. Details are important in this type of plot, and the movie ignores things like 'he has another tool' or 'he should be soaking wet' and it detracts heavily from it; sometimes as just 'nitpicks' that would normally be

[queenofthewaste]

Hi it's 3am (by the time I finished this it was in fact closer to 5am) and I'm so tired and I don't care anymore and this is literally my blog so if I can't be emo here then where? (A diary, I suppose, but shutup)

To preface this, mutuals, whatevs you've seen me go through fandom after fandom and then become a pseudo aesthetic blog so you can handle me angsting a bit. IRLs on the other hand, if you read this I would appreciate you not ever acknowledging this in anyway shape of form bc like. Emotional vulnerability bad (ง'̀-'́)ง

Up until a few months ago I was in a relationship with someone who I cared about very deeply. The relationship itself was not perfect but I was pretty happy, and best I can tell, so was she. Ultimately we broke up because of the fact that she felt she couldn't come out to her family. This wasn't fun for me or anything but its something I was aware of as a possible end so y'know. Whatever.

Unfortunately this break up wasn't even remotely clean. She continued to talk to me, not seeming to get my requests for space and eventually we went back to cuddling and other forms of emotional intimacy that are far oustide of my platonic wheelhouse. At this situation's worst she made some pretty specifically romantic moves towards me, which I would call almost actively callous. Eventually after a few months of going back and forth on whether or not we were talking we (I) actually were firm about it. This was on Halloween, and the following week or so was basically "great" insofar as I didn't have to think about her.

Unfortunately the next week it was my birthday and she turned up on my doorstep after my party upset I had invited some mutual friends, and I helped her with her emotional distress and then walked her home. Then I had no contact. For about a month.

A month later she messaged me on Twitter. Then a week later she turned up somewhere she knew I was going to be (this is somewhat debatable but ultimately I still felt stalked and in a weird way kind of betrayed).

Then nothing until Christmas day when I received an anonymous "I miss you" on this tumblr. Not provable as her like who else misses me lol? (All the creepy men who I keep rejecting but I don't they have my tumblr). Then on NYE she messaged my housemate about me. Then a few days later she does the same.

Ultimately my feeling about all of this are;

I’m sad about the circumstance of the break up. It feels like a waste of something good, but I could probably deal with it better if either of us seemed even remotely happy since it.

I think it’s fucking heartbreaking that someone I cared so deeply for would so quickly become someone I desperately wanted to avoid, the extent to which I want to avoid her is actively depressing in and of itself 

She’s clearly not been doing okay since we broke up (or for a while before we broke up but she’s been more noticeably dysfunctional since we broke up) and it’s so frustrating to watch her feel alienated from her friends (and to an extent have actually alienated her friends) and to engage in self destructive behaviours etc, and have no room, or even right to do anything. 

As an addition to the previous point, I am usually cold to a fault, so I hate how I have been unable to switch off here. I hate that I still care about her the way I do when everything she has done in the past four months has had an active detrimental affect on me.

This is probably the least “valid” feeling to have about the dissolution of the relationship, and I actively consider this to be deeply petty but here we are - I think it’s unfair that she is telling my housemate that she misses me. I think its unfair that she was the one to do romantic things during the messy period post break up. I think it’s unfair that she made a choice and now seems to want to have the sympathy of the person who was “left” or “dumped” or whatever. Fuck you that’s not fair. I haven’t made my feelings about this known. I didn’t message her fucking housemate to tell him I miss her. Of course I fucking miss her but I’m also not a fucking douchebag.

I also feel betrayed by how willing she was to hurt me and mess me around post-break up. She told her friends things she had promised she wouldn’t and generally handled things shittily. Honestly I just want to know why? I didn’t do anything fucking wrong. We didn’t break up even due to shitty behaviour what the fuck did I do to deserve all of this 

I still want to talk to her. I sort of feel like there’s nothing left to say anymore, but I do 

Running concurrently to this is the fact that last year I was voted in to be the president of the Comic Book Society (club) at my university. At the time I was pleased and looked forward to it. One of the people who would be running it with me was a guy I was good friends with. Then he (probably) sexually assaulted me, and (definitely) became super creepy about his feelings for me. I low key told him to fuck off and didn't speak to him for the summer. During which time he got therapy and seemed to improve, and because I didn't want to have to do paperwork I figured I would let him stick around. Of course then he continued to be creepy so I had to tell him to fuck off properly.

The break up I had just gone through, and the fact I had to fire 1/3 of my exec did not make running the society easy, but ultimately neither of those things were the actual problem. 

The problem instead was that my members just. Wouldn't talk. No matter what. I did everything I could. I know I'm often somewhat intimidating but I also know I'm reasonably funny and decent at conversation in general. But over three months these people remained mute and it was infuriating. They wanted a weekly lecture about comics and I'm just not doing that. So I've allowed the society to fold.

Ultimately about this I guess I feel

Sort of betrayed by the guy who was into me, obviously I suppose I shouldn’t have forgiven him after the (possible) sexual abuse, but I was tired and thought maybe it would be fine. But ultimately he was a guy who claimed to care about me/ know me well, and everything he did belied the opposite which is such a fundamental kind of gross that it’s sort of upsetting.

About my society failing? I take on the responsibility personally, even though every piece of evidence suggests there wasn’t much I could really have done to increase turnout, bar become more general interest (Like talk about the movies more) which ultimately defeats the point of the fucking society so. No. Basically, lol, I feel like a total failure for failing to run a society that was clearly doomed to failure from the beginning

ALSO I’m twenty one. Due to issues with my mental and physical health during my A levels I had to spend an additional year in college. I then failed to get the grades I wanted to go the uni I really wanted to go to. As a result of this I came to uni and was a bit “behind” where I wanted to be in life. Then, naturally, of course, I managed to fail a module of my course, meaning I had to resit the whole year. Making me a Twenty One year old First Year. I haven’t told any of my friends about this, meaning I’m consistently lying a bit about what I’m doing. (I did tell my now ex, and am sort of paranoid she may have told someone but whatever) Oh also one of my housemates is resitting his first year, which arguably makes my extended deception worse, because it’s not helped with his self perception. Oh also multiples of my friends are getting engaged now 

I guess the way I feel about this mess of shit is 

Failurex1000

I feel extremely “behind” some idea of where I feel I should be in my life, which is ridiculous because I’ve never had a clear picture of where I want to be and when, so there’s no plan to be behind on 

Failure Failure Failure

I feel somewhat guilty about not informing said housemate bc he’s insecure about resitting, and also insecure about me being arbitrarily “better” than him, but also I have a crippling fear of being seen as weak or stupid and he’s not my fucking responsibility.

Again, the friends all getting engaged thing makes me feel weirdly lagging so. yay

ALSO I live with three boys currently. I say “boys” because despite their status as legal adults, the juvenile term is really more appropriate. One of whom has had a crush on me for a relatively extended period of time now. He claims to be over me, but his behaviours consistently belie that he is not. Another is just generally a bit immature, and screeches down his headset playing shit video games in the middle of the night (this is in fact why I am currently up and writing this) The third is technically fine but he contributes to the general mess and skid marks on the toilet with the seat always fucking up and the hair all over the fucking bathroom dear fucking god 

Summing up this one too;

I have already decided to live alone next year, and have made the arrangements to do so, Though this means I will basically be broke re: disposable money

If I ever see another fucking toilet seat up I’m going to scream

I nearly stabbed my housemate today for waking me up. And now five hours later nearly I have been unable to get any sleep. 

Alot of my complaints about my housemates highlight two specific things for me 

My upbringing required me to be more independent from a younger age. I’m grateful for the relative competence this has provided me earlier on, but also I think I’m becoming resentful, or jealous, of these people who got to be children until even now? I cannot imagine being 19 and behaving the way these boys do (or twenty one and behaving the way my ex does) and I can’t help but wonder about the kind of coddling they must have had relative to my life.

I need my own space. I have had little control of my life and living arrangements for quite some time now (even having spent three months or so technically homeless last summer) and this is potentially my only opportunity to get that so

Finally, Alot of how I’ve reacted to stuff the past few months has made me feel concerned about my mental health? Several years ago I went to a psychologist for an extended period of time (I was forced to lol) and toward the end of the time I was seeing her she mentioned cluster B personality disorders to me. Obviously being a sixteen year old who thought she was fine this made me balk, I started lying to seem neurotypical or whatever the word is now, and then eventually managed to get out of having to go, but now I think there was probably some stock in what she was talking about and am now going to try and pursue this, so I get to dally with the NHS’ adult mental health services.

Summing up

I don’t actually want a diagnosis and on some level think I’m fine but also line up with the DSM of two of the cluster B’s relatively well and am clearly not doing well so my belief that I’m fine is unhelpful

In the end, it is clearly my pride that’s gong to lead to my death. 

Thanks for reading, anonymous internet person or person I know irl stalking my blog/ignoring my request for this to be ignored if you know me irl :I

[croquines]

oooowwwhhha i keep forgetting to write about this

i had a good good dream that ended wayyyy too short bcuz my mom came home right when it was getting fun.

i think the character/person i was was a boy but when i say this was a gay dream its cuz my brain was reacting to situations as if i was me irl so like. yeah.

i have no idea how it started cuz i switched locations majorly at some point but kept referencing where i used to be as actually part of the dream i was still having? so the dream/place i was at before was a neighborhood a lot like my own where theres a lot of brick walls and some apartments, condos, and houses. it wasnt set up the same but i definitely noticed the brick wall thing. i feel like i was younger than i was at the second half but idk maybe i wasnt.

during those escapades i remember playing with slime a lot?? it didnt rlly work like it does here tho like u could leave it out in the sun and it wouldnt dry up and i think it was also edible?? i played outside a lot but again i dont remember how old i was so i was either just like. hangin outside as a high schooler or being a normal 8 year old its rlly confusing.

ANYWAY whatever dreams i was having around these 2 big ones/parts/whatever were all pokemon-based and honestly i think they might have been precursors to the second half? like i remember having a cartridge for a first or second gen pokemon game in them but a lot of the times i was reminded that mine was weird compared to everyone elses. or that mine was dangerous? 

IN THE SECOND HALF i think i looked like an emo boy honestly and i walked into this boarding school place where eveyone had pokemon cartridges of i think it was crystal???????? listen dont. fuckin judge my dreams but everyone was walking in and flashing their cartridges to a guy who was monitoring us all. i fumbled in my pocket to find mine but the guy didnt even notice me walking by. i got it out and when i tried showing it to him he wasnt paying attention, but my brain shit realized that my cartridge was black and not the same see-thru blue like everyone elses was (but my dream body didnt notice anything was weird, i just put it back in my pocket and was like eh) i got a weird feeling from it all like i was somehow gonna end up being dangerous and hurting people w this thing but idk, i didnt realize it.

i think i probs went to class as usual but the next thing i remember is leaving for lunch and as i was leaving to go to the cafeteria (you have to leave the school, like the cafeteria building wasnt attached) i held the door open for someone that i think is/was a trans girl? all i knew was that ppl probably didnt take them wearing a skirt very well. i’ll use she/her tho cuz it feels right

anyway she came up to me and was like “thanks for holding the door for me, i usually have to yell at ppl for ignoring me” i mean. she didnt say that but it was close. and i was instantly like “wow what a cool attitude” in my head

we ate lunch together and i dont remember how it felt anymore but i know i was having a Gay Moment and my heart rate went thru the roof and i was like ultra aware of the fact that i was dreaming at that moment and i was just having a real good time cuz the plot seemed to be going somewhere and i was excited and then my FUCKING MOM CAME HOME

and i woke up the end