#but its gotten to episode 8 and no one has even like. Went “hey Doctor why are you dating our daughter”

[transmasc-rose]

Ok I've gotten through s6e1-s6e8.

Are we not going to spend time dealing with the massive traumas Any just went through.

Like. Being killed by the Doctor. The whole "being trapped while pregnant and not even knowing until she's giving birth". Having her baby functionally die in her arms.

No? We're just gonna move on? Ok.

[pynkhues]

Say Dean did give her the necklace. Out of all the horrendous things he’s done to her, why would she decide to wear it tho?

Well, assuming that he is the one to give her the new necklace, which Istrongly suspect he is (although I’ve been wrong before!), I think there are afew reasons she’d wear it. And hey! I’ve had five or six asks since 2.08about Beth and Dean’s relationship, history and age gap, which I had a fewdrafts of, so I’m so sorry! I’m going to highjack your ask to combine/answerthem all! Hope that’s okay. 

Putting all myheadcanons and theories aside (at least for the first half of this post haha),let’s just talk about what canon has established about Beth and Dean and theirrelationship over the last 18 episodes. 

This is like, verylong (seriously 2,800 words), haha, so I’m putting it under a cut to save all your feeds. 

The Marks’ Family ValuesWhile 2.08 clarified a few things about the way Beth, Ruby and Annie wereraised, there’s still a lot that we don’t really know, so let’s look at what wedo know: 

1. Beth as a youngteenager crashed her mother’s car out the front of Ruby’s house with her kidsister in the passenger seat because there was no food in the house, and theirmother wasn’t getting out of bed. The implication, from Annie’sdialogue “She just really likes it there” is that this is not a new thing.(2.08)

2. Annie was areckless kid and had a broken arm during a time it’s implied she and Beth were neglected.(2.08)

3. “You knowwhat my mama used to say? You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” – Beth(2.01)

4. Beth played pianofor six years after her parents dropped $$s on it, despite changing her mindand wanting to play violin, which on its own I think can be written off as generalchildish indecisiveness, buuuut I think means a little more than that in thecontext of everything else. (1.05)

5. Beth worked heronly legitimate job in highschool at the Dairy Queen. (1.03)

5. Annie used to gethigh and was sexually active in highschool, and had gossip/rumours spread abouther. Their mother came into the school to address it and, it’s implied, madethe situation a lot worse, causing Annie not want to do the same to Sadie with Sadie’sbullies. (1.04)

6. Then Annie gotpregnant in highschool. (mentioned multiple times)

7. Beth has alwaysbeen the one that Annie has called to bail her out of trouble (mentioned a fewtimes).

9. Beth had postpartumdepression with at least one of her children. (2.05)

The Boland Timeline

While we haven’t gottenconfirmed ages of the characters, we do know that Dean is, at the very least, ayear older than Beth, although I think it’s more likely around three yearsgiven the way it’s framed in the episode. SO. 

1. Beth meets Dean atschool when she’s either a freshman, sophomore or junior. He’s a senior. It’sat a point in time where we know her mother is bedridden and Beth spends a lotof time looking after Annie (she even took Annie to Ruby’s father’s funeral,which I think says a lot as to how much Beth – and by proxy Ruby – were lookingafter Annie). (2.08)

2. Beth and Dean havebeen married for 20 years during S1, so that puts them likely at gettingmarried when Beth is somewhere between the age of 20-22. (mentioned multipletimes)

3. Somewhere in thistime period, Dean takes over Boland Motors from his father (one of the photosin the screensaver Dean’s looking at in 2.04 looks like it’s from a grandre-opening, and Beth’s holding a baby boy, so it looks like this could bearound the time Kenny or Danny is born) and Beth becomes a stay-at-home motherand a housewife. Dean also has full control of their finances, and Beth is onan allowance that he also controls. 

4. Kenny has hiseleventh birthday in S1, so Beth would’ve been in her late twenties when shehad him. 

5. We don’t know theage gap between the rest of the kids (and in fact, those age gaps have obviouslychanged between S1 and S2 lol) but it looks like Jane is now the youngest, notEmma, and that Beth and Dean hadn’t had sex in the two years before gettingpregnant with Jane, and then that they hadn’t had sex since she was born until2.06, which seems to be about five or six years. (2.05 / 1.05)

6. Beth had postpartumdepression after at least Emma (it was the specific given reason as to why theyhadn’t had sex in the two years before getting pregnant with Jane), although Ithink the implication is that it was with more of the kids than just her.

7. Somewhere in allof this, Dean had multiple affairs. He says four, but the implication fromAmber is that it’s more than that, and then I think Beth basically confirmsthat when she says “Dean’s slept with half of Detroit” later in the episode.Plus Dean being a pathological liar isn’t exactly a secret. (2.05)

8. Beth finds out hesleeps with Amber in 1.01 and that he’s mortgaged their house three times andthat their savings are gone. She kicks him out, takes control of theirfinances, and robs Fine & Frugal. 

9. Dean tries to winher back a few times - first by appealing to her pragmatism (and I’ll beexpanding on this shortly) - by talking about how they’ll both be worse offfinancially if they separate - before telling her that she’s the love of hislife, then by showing up unannounced to mow the backyard (a traditionally malehousehold job), then by using Kenny’s birthday wish that they were backtogether to try and guilt her (another point I’ll be expanding on shortly!)

10. Cut to Kenny’sbirthday party. He implies Beth’s having an affair with Rio (lols for so manyreasons), they fight, Beth insinuates that she’ll be filing for divorce soon(”You’re still my wife” “Yeah, I’ve gotta get on that.”) and Dean drops TheCancer Lie. Beth is obviously upset, and lets him move back in, but he’ssleeping in Kenny’s room. (1.04)

11. Dean doubles down on the cancer lie by bribing a doctor to tell Bethhe has prostate cancer, but he also covers for her when Turnerfinds the Boland Motors car the girls stole from the lot. He then confronts herabout it in a very paternalistic way (”Why don’t you get a job?” “Sit down!”“These people prey on good, innocent people” “I’m sorry I yelled at you, buteverything’s going to be fine. I’ll take care of you.”). Beth plays along inthe moment, but Dean changes the locks without telling her (and also doesn’thelp her bring the grocery bags in which is sooo telling), reveals he’sswitched hours with a guy at work to be around to ‘protect’ her, and Bethfinally stands up for herself “You have no idea what I’ve done or even who Iam”. (1.06)

12. Dean asks her ifshe’s doing it for the kids. She says yes, and he says it’s all he needs toknow. It genuinely seems to comfort her in the moment. It’s one of their fewnice scenes and I think shows what they were like when they were at their verybest. (1.07)

13. Rio shuts down,Beth is back on an allowance. She tries to get a loan, but their credit hasn’trebounded enough and they still have too much debt. Dean solves the problem bymoving the botox via the doctor he bribed. Dean won’t tell Beth how he did it,but she’s grateful enough to end up coming clean about what she does for Rio.They have their second nice moment. “You don’t deserve anything I did toyou.” + “I think you’re incredible.” (1.08)

14. Dean obviouslyfeels like he and Beth are getting back on track, and is annoyed that Annie’sliving with them temporarily. He builds Beth a craft table with hiddencompartments to hide her fake cash! (1.09)

15. Dean tries toorganise something for their anniversary, which Beth doesn’t agree to rightaway, but does later in the episode when he tries to help her after realisingshit’s going down in the crime world. Dean gets into a car accident whilechecking out another woman, Beth finds out he lied about the cancer (like thatgrenade was never going to blow, Deansy), he came home, Rio shoots him to getback at Beth, but not before revealing a certain degree of intimacy and trustbetween the two of them, which Dean clocks instantly. (1.10 / 2.01)

Then Season 2happens, haha.

So let’s talk about Beth & Dean

I’ve said it a fewtimes before, but when it comes to Beth, we’re ultimately watching somebody whohas been disempowered and disenfranchised for a really, really long time tryingto reclaim a sense of identity and control over her life. Even before 2.08, wewere looking at that through the sense of her marriage to Dean where she had noreal independence. Her entire life was dictated by decisions that he made forthem, personally, professional and financially, and a lot of the first half of Season1 was devoted to her realising exactly how many of those decisions had been bad ones. As the series went on, she reallydid start to gain a sense of financial independence (which is incredibly important)as well as a sense of her own identity and agency, only for that to becompletely crippled again across that four episode arc - 1.09 through to 2.02 –firstly by thinking Rio had played her for a fool (the empty truck), then Rio firingher, then realising that Dean hadplayed her for a fool again (thecancer lie), and then her plot to put Rio away falling apart, Dean being shot,and her realising that she was newly indebted to both of them.

I think what 2.08contextualised was that Beth has never really been allowed to explore who sheis, because there’s always been somebody she’s had to look after. She’s alwayshad dependents and she has lived a life of constant compromise, making her incrediblypragmatic and sacrificing of her own needs and wants. The episode establishedthat Beth spent most if not all of her adolescence caring for Annie and theirmother, married young, and then spent her entire young adult life looking afterDean and their four children.

Likely the appeal ofDean was that he was older, gave her attention in a way that seemed to ‘see’ herat a time where her needs were neglected at home, and likely popular – he’s goofyand fun, as the show’s establishedmultiple times, which I think would be more likeable at that teenage age, and Ithink he probably appealed to Beth as a way out of a troubling home situation.At the end of the day, the show has established pretty firmly that Beth is, whenit comes to her and her own, a survivor. And when I say survivor, I don’t meanthe badass, action heroine sort of survivor - I mean the desperate, do-what-she-has-tosort of survivor. She has an uncanny ability to lie and perform to get herselfout of situations, and also a tendency to sacrifice her own happiness for thoseshe loves. I think when it came to Dean, for a very long time, Beth sacrificedpower and control for a security and safety that she hadn’t had growing up,first for herself (and likely in part for Annie too), and then for her fourchildren.

And I think Dean, priorto the start of the series, had never truly been challenged on any of thecontrol that he wrought over their lives. He’s your classic embodiment of whitemale privilege, and I think he has all the baggage that comes with that,including a firm belief in gender roles, a heady sense of entitlement, and asubconscious expectation that things will usually work in his favour. The factthat he started dating Beth when she was so young, that he inherited BolandMotors from his father, and the fact that he blames Beth’s postpartum depressionfor his affairs too I think drasticallyemphasises that. We talk a lot about the power play between Beth and Rio, butBeth and Dean, since 1.01, have been in a power play of their own – Beth in herdesire to break out of their traditional roles, to ‘steer the ship’, and toreally put her family in a more secure position in life (something she realisedDean was incapable of doing), and Dean in his desire to keep them in their traditional roles, to ‘steer the ship’, and tokeep the status quo (I mean, hell, the fact that he was checking out anotherwoman on his way to his anniversary dinner with Beth in 1.10 says a lot about exactly how little he wants things tochange).

In what is typical ofpeople who are nurturers/carers or have been forced into nurturer/carerpositions in their life, Beth also seems to feel guilt to a disproportionatedegree, and in a way that often seems to cancel out any other emotion,including her anger. This is established pretty early in season one in smallways - her snipping with Annie then immediately back pedalling when sherealises Annie might lose custody of Sadie, with not being able to throw Kennythe birthday party he wants, with her telling Dean about what she does for Rioafter Dean offloads the botox, and then reiterated in big ways this season -nursing Dean after he’s been shot, crawling into bed with Kenny after he gotcaught binge eating at school, going above and beyond to get the dubby backafter Jane feels neglected, I’d even argue that the whole situation with MaryPat has partially been fuelled by guilt for putting Mary Pat in that situationin the first place when she’s a widow with four young children.

And I think Dean knows this! He has guilted her so much across the course of this show, often in a way to deflectfrom his own shortcomings or to ultimately playher. He gaslights her all the time,and she often doesn’t even realise it, which demonstrates, to me at least, howoften he’s done it over the course of their 20+ year relationship. The wholething about the cancer lie in the first place was to back her into a corner,which he succeeded in doing. He guilted her about being at Boland Motors andaway from the kids. When Jane went missing, he immediately blamed her and guilted her for her involvement with Rio(instead of………you know……….looking for his daughter), in 2.08, he guilted Beth for checking on her moneybefore untying him after he’d tried to organise a hit on her partner and gottenher robbed blind in the process.

And when the guilt and the manipulation stopped working, he did thething he knew she couldn’t ignore (and that would hurt her the most) which istake the children. Beth is, like I said earlier, a survivor and a sacrificer whenit comes to her and her own. There’s no way she won’t give up everything togive those children what she didn’t have – a mother who she could rely on. I thinkDean’s ultimatum won’t just be about them either. I could be wrong, but I thinkhe’s going to tell her that they have to try again as a couple, and I thinkthat’s what that necklace is going to be about (seriously though, if he givesit to her as a part of the ultimatum, everything about it symbolically is acollar), and she’ll put it on for her children, and I think it’s all honestlygoing to push her over the edge in a really big way before the season’s over.

I’ve mentioned this in other posts, but I think Beth fully was intendingto leave Dean before the cancer lie, but then she needed to care for him(again, a manipulation I think Dean knew would work because of Beth’s historycaring for her mother and Annie), and then the shooting (same reason, plus theadded bonus of her having caused it). Since then, I think she has almostcompletely emotionally divorced him – having sex with Rio, taking over BM,checking on the money first, not letting him back into her bed – is all verytelling of this, and I think she had likely had her pragmatic hat on and waswaiting until she could feasibly balance all the pieces in her life on her ownbefore filing for divorce. Of course, that’s now blown up with Dean holding thechildren essentially hostage.

And look, do I thinkDean loves Beth? I do actually, in his own way. Do I think Beth loves Dean? Ithink she did, but like she said to Ruby – Dean’s not a soulmate for her, oreven a partner. Beth and Dean should’ve maybe briefly dated in highschool andthen broken up, but they’re both in too deep now, and I don’t think anythingshort of a bullet or an arrest is going to easily disentangle them.

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching World Enough and Time for the first time

Hoo boy

-HOOOO BOI

-THE FINALE IS HERE (the first part of it, that is)

(Spoilers below the cut)

-Oookay snowy place... Kinda feels like the beginning of a Christmas Special (even though it’s still June...)

WHAT

-THE EPISODE BARELY STARTED??

-DOCTOR ARE YOU FAKING AGAIN

-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SLEEVE, WHAT CAUSED IT TO BE SO TORN UP

shit, no, really, what happened

NOOOOOOO WHAT

-He’s screaming because he’s turning into Trump

-...sorry.

-And the theme song comes on, without ANY explanation at ALL of what in the HECK just happened.

S t e v e n  mofo M o f f a t

-The name of doom.

? giant spaceship??

W H A T

-Holy shit BBC your CGI really improved

“Hello, I’m Doctor Who.”

“LIES” (from “Flatline”, Series 8)

-”My plucky assistants, thing 1 and... the other one.”

I’m sorry

-No seriously what are you doing Missy

Mary. Frickin. Poppins.

-”But think of the age gap!”

JELLY BABIES

-I’m 110% sure those are jelly babies and if not I will be pissed

Their faces say everything.

-”Well. I am the mysterious adventurer in all of time and space known only as ‘Doctor Who. And these are my... Disposals. Exposition and- comic relief.”

“Iz no an esersise, iz a tepht.” “Are you eating?” “No.”

...Bill’s face. This whole thing. I just can’t.

“ALlllso it’s his real name”

“His WOT”

-Okay so Missy’s probs joking here but what if his name was actually Doctor Who, what if his name was the title of the damn show and it was right in front of us and we never noticed lmao

-”Are you a human?!”  “Don’t be a bitch.”  SHE SAID THE B WORD

-”My name is Doctor Who.”  “It’s not, is it?”  “I like it.”

S H I T

WHATTHEFUCK

-”She’s a murderer!”  “Enjoying your bacon sandwich?”  “Why?”  “Because it had a mummy and a daddy. Go tell a pig about your moral high ground.”

Bill: ‘...stop.’

“ah HAHAw na forget it”

-”Nardole agreed.”  “No I didn’t.”  “He did in my head which is good enough for me.”

“Are you having an emotion?”

“Look at that face, he’s having an emotion!”

“Can I take a selfie with you?”

Don’t know what they’re eating but I’m hungry and that looks tasty

-”She was my man-crush.”  “I’m sorry?”  “Yeah. I think she was a man by then. I’m fairly sure that I was too, it’s a long time ago.”

”We’re the most civilized civilization in the universe. Billions of years beyond your petty human obsessions with gender and associated stereotypes.” “But you still call yourselves Time Lords.” “......Yeah. Shut up.”

-The food looks like salad now

-that was sooo cute aaaa

-”Every star in the universe. We were going to see them all.”

-”But he was too busy burning them.”

“Promise you won’t get me killed.”

Well look at how well that went

I don’t like their synthesized voices at all.

-It reminds me a bit of this.

“Assumption.” “Deduction.” “Hope.” “Faith.” “Idiot.” “Always.”

I can’t believe Missy copied Hagrid

-”Why do you care, Smurf?”

-”If somebody kills you and it’s not me, we’ll both be disappointed.”

-”It’s a matter of time.”

OOOHHHH

-I don’t know shit, but I think I heard that time slows down at the event horizon of a black hole. As in, it seems to slow down to an outside observer.

-And I’m still too stupid to actually connect that information to the episode itself.

-Meanwhile, Bill seems... okay for now.

What the heck.

-The man is disturbing but not disturbing enough to make me go full caps lock and definitely not the most disturbing thing I’ve seen.

WHAT’S WITH THE THING ON HER CHEST

So much fluff

Oh...

-”Pain... Pain... Pain...”

-Pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN--

Sorry but CONVERSION THEATRE?!

-Bill geT THE HELL OUTTA TEHRE

-WHAT IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY PEOPLE SCREAMING IN PAIN BUT THEY LOST THEIR ABILITY TO SPEAK BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN CONVERTED INTO WALKING TIN CANS AND THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN EXPRESS WHAT THEY’RE FEELING IS REPEATEDLY SAYING “PAIN” IN MONOTONOUS VOICES

Please don’t be a jumpscare, please don’t be a jumpscare...

Okay, so the room with people in beds said IN, Bill’s room said CONVERSION THEATRE (I still don’t get why they call it a theatre/theater; who’s the audience? What’ so theatric about it?) and this room says OUT.

-Which MIGHT mean that the first one is where the humans are kept in custody before conversion, much like a normal hosptal wing (except for the conversion part) then humans are taken to the “Theatre” to have devices implanted on them and whatnot. THEN when they’re successfully converted or about to be so, they’re taken to the OUT room to finish the process... But then what?

Hey they’re using buttons to express their emotions

-World Enough And Time But The Cybermen Talk With Emoji Keypads

-But what if that guy couldn’t find that button at first so he was like “Stay-- (no that’s not it)” “Yes-- (not that)” “Step-- (no no)” “Pain-- (ah HA)”

AAAAGH I got scared

-I got a scare

OH SHIT

-Trope that scares me the most: Hiding character about to be discovered.

-The guy doesn’t tattle on her though

-They just... muted the device... That guy’s still in pain...

Holy fuck they’re all muted

-I want to say some sophisticated thing about governments pretending there are no complaints by simply muting them.. or something like that

-Bill you don’t have to turn the volume all the way up and risk being discovered

-I feel weird here, because “Kill me” is something I say a lot but there’s a HUGE difference between “Hahahahahaha what am I doing fucking kill me, stop my sinful hands hahaha the government should come to my house and end me look at all this trash i’m drawing ahahahaha this is true art fucking kill me pfftahahahahaha” and "K̺̯̭̻̘̟̎͂͛i̙̖̳͍̮̭̣̍́́l͒͏̮͎̲͖͇͖ͅl̤̜͙͉̘͋̆ͬ̂ͤ͘.ͤ̌ͬ��̤ͤ͑ͅ.̝̞͕̖̒̑̈̃̔.͓͋̎ͦ̔ͮ̚ ̞͎̻̥̦͕̌ͬ͗ͫ͆̅̚m̳̱̬̞͍͓ͤ̿͂̊̃e̅̀.͉̫̪̰̖͢.̣͍̣̲͉.̡̙͖̥͎̯̜ͅ ̋ͥ͜k̹̳̞̀ȋ̬̖̭͜l̎̿ͬͮ͗͑̀̕l.̍̎.̟͎͇͉̪̳ͅ.̲̼̠ͤͫ̑̆̐̈͘ ̪̣͍͙͕͉̔̈̄́ͤͪ͝m̡̗͔̞̟̲̔̿ͩ̌̽ĕ͚̦̩̥̪̍ͅ.̞̩̫͖̗ͫ̓ͨ̌ͩͥ̽.̴̥͓̦̺̌̇ͬ̈́͂̂͒.͔͕̫̼̾͞ “

-”This way Mr Razor, look sharp!”  Was that pun intended

Floor 1056. huh.

-That’s a whole goddamn city in there

WHAT THE FUCK

-NOPE

-THAT’S A NOPE FROM ME, A NOPE FROM YOU, A NOPE FROM ALL OF US, I AIN’T RHYMING SHIT WITH YOU!

-(...what.)

-”It will help with the horror to come.”  “What horror?”  “Mainly the tea.”

BEHIND YOU BILL

-”Drink it while it is very hot. The pain will disguise the taste.”

-me cooking be like

-Wait, if she’s been here for weeks then the Doctor and the rest of them have been up there all this time?!

-So if the ship’s top is ‘fast’ and bottom is ‘slow’ then the ‘top’ must be closer to the event horizon.

-That explains the date number thing up there.

-So Bill was in here for weeks, maybe months, but only a short time passed up top. Okay.

Thanks Doc, I still kinda needed that cleared up

-”If you’re standing in your garden, your head is travelling faster through time than your feet.”  WHAT

-Okay, I didn’t know THAT, that’s actually new.

-Although I’m not sure if I should go flaunting this new knowledge willy-nilly, seeing as Doctor Who is generally not considered a credible source of scientific facts.

Awwww;; Ahahahahahaha

-”He’s been raising that eyebrow for a week.”  That really puts things into perspective.

-What’s with that woman seriously

-”Don’t change the channel.”  “A week, raising his eyebrow... why would I change?”

I find it kind of cute and sad at the same time that Bill has been watching the Doctor in excruciatingly slow motion for months and hasn’t gotten tired of it

-...Why did the window affect the patients?

“How many more years?”

-wait

-YEARS?!?!

-HOLY SHIT

-...Holy shit...

Just think of seeing that guy’s involuntary backflip for weeks on end

“Wait for me.”

There’s people down here?!!

-Are you saying that city was built by the people who came down here to fix the engine and those people’s descendants

-”Soon we will all be upgraded like them.”

-UPGRADED

-UPGRADED

*TRIGGERED*

dafuq

-Reminds me of the time I pulled a winter cap over my face just because I could.

-And then I put glasses on top.

-It didn’t help. I couldn’t see through the yarn as easily as I’d hoped.

-”That was good.”  “Venusian Akido.”  “I thought you needed four arms for Venusian?”  “I’ve got hidden talents as well as hidden arms.”

Okay, I’m REALLY hungry.

-”When you hug me it hurts my heart.”  “Aw, sweet.”  “No, your chest unit. It digs right in.”

Just brilliant.

He’s wearinf a fucking mask I can’t;;asdaf

JESUS CHRTISY

WHAT THE TABLEFLIPFLAPPING FUCK

-THE GUY WAS A BACKSTABBER

-YOU BITCH

Oh yeah? If it’s so good then why don’t you go upgrade yourselves alrready?

“This won’t stop you feeling pain, but it will stop you caring about it.”

oh yeah that guy totally doesn’t care about his pain

-In fact he looks dead inside

-That actor might as well have been thinking ‘shit, my eye hole slipped and now I can’t see properly.’

-”It fits over your head.”  Yeah I can tell that mister but I don’t want you or that ridiculous pipe thing you got there drilling willy-nilly into my brain

-”But I’m the computer guy, that’s always me.”  “Sorry, she’s cleverer.”  “She’s more evil.”  “Same thing.”

Uh oh

-”Hello, ordinary person. Please maintain a minimum separation of three feet.”

-”I’m really not trying to kill anyone today, but it would be tremendously helpful if your major arteries were out of reach.”

-Annnnnnd now I’m veeeeery suspicious of the scraggly man’s identity as well.

-Like, even more so than before.

same

-“There’s always a scary thing with you isn’t there?”  “Are you only getting that now?”  *Empty Child flashbacks* *Silence in the Library flashbacks* *fucking BLINK FLASHBACKS*  ...yeah I see what you mean.

And here we see another example of BBC’s Photoshop attempts, here used to tamper with stock footage of Earth to create an alien version of it.

-(I know it’s not Photoshop it was a joke)

-Wait.

-IT’S MONDAS ISN’T IT

-Yes I read up on the Doctor Who wiki before and apparently Mondas was a very Earth-like planet, only its people opted to ‘upgrade’ themselves for survival at some point in their history

-Remember kids, if you don’t have time to binge on Classic Who, just read up some long articles in the TARDIS wiki.

WHY IS THAT GUY’S HEAD SO SMALL AND THAT DOOR JUST OPENED BY ITSELF

I have a bad feeling about this

-Oh yes a VERY bad feeling

yep called it (Not really. It was in the trailer.)

-Wow Missy is so salty today

-Not sure if ‘salty’ is the right word... Let’s say ‘verbally homicidal’

-GOD THE SUSPENSE WITH THIS DOUBLE POV’S

-Like, holy fuck, that’s some awesome screenwriting there. Switching between two scenes while maintaining the suspense in both, without making it too fast/all over the place or too long.

-I’m getting chills.

wHAT

-Sheesh, the way his voice changes at the end of that sentence... Jesus.

same

-I’M SCREAMING HOLY FUCK OVER AND OVER AGAIN

-I THOUGHT MISSY WAS GONNA REGENERATE INTO HIM (which is kinda weird) OR MAYBE HE’D BE APPEARING IN A FLASHBACK OR SOMETHING BUT NOOOOO THAT ONE FISHY GUY WAS THE MASTER ALL ALONG

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

HOLY FUCK

Is it just me or does the Doctor look really scared here

-Maybe he thought he got rid of them for good hundreds of years ago, and now they’ve come back and they took his friend and it’s all just...?

shit

-SHIT

-NO BILL

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-WE’VE LOST OUT GAY DAUGHTER

I CAN’T

-BELIEVE

-THIS

-IS

-HAPPENING

-THE FOUR BEATS!! WTF!!

no.

oh no.

oh shit.

oh hell no.

shit

-THE FOUR DRUM BEATS.

-AFTER ALL THAT TIME, AFTER 8 YEARS, THEY’VE COME BACK TO HAUNT US AGAIN.

-THAT WAS BACK IN THE RTD ERA OH MY GOD

*SCREAMING*

SDHHSJKSHJKASKJERIHIERHIRGHJSDHJGAGSLDJFAH

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

-FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

HOLY FUCK??

“I did my duty for Queen and country.”

“I waited for you.”

-...

-*cue end credits*

-HOLy sHIT

-THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN

-WHAT AN WAY TO END THAT EPISODE

-MOFFAT

-I’M SCREAMING

-I SCREAMED SO LOUD I ALMOST DEAFENED MYSELF

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!

[new2otomelol]

SCM - The Hybrid - a Zyglavis Fanfic

I don’t own the rights to SCM - this is a fanfic. Nyx is the MC in this story. Feel free to leave any Feedback! Hope you enjoy!!!

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Nyx’s POV

I’m falling fast, only darkness surrounds me.  I try to scream, but my voice won’t come out.  I try to move, but nothing happens.  I snap out of my nightmare and take a deep breath. I’m back to my other torment, my life.

I had a great childhood, until the day I started getting weird dreams and nightmares.  They always seemed like memories to me.  My parents worried about my situation and had me evaluated by a group of doctors and specialists.

Dr. Rithguard was the person assigned to me after copious amounts of testing. He would intently listen to all my stories and convinced my parents to give me a certain type of medication, supposedly to correct my “hormonal imbalances” and be normal once again.  Over time, the medication caused me much debility.

I was barely 13 years of age when my parents suddenly died in a plane crash; not having any other living relatives, I was placed in an orphanage. My psychologist, Dr. Rithguard, decided to adopt me.  I never liked the man, there was something about him that made my intuitive bells ring without end.  Over time he would teach me that Gods never truly existed and that any wishes made were never heard; too weak to argue, he would slowly brainwash me of this. Even though this went against my cultural up-bringing.

When I was 16, we relocated to a new city where Dr. Rithguard had found a new job.  We never really communicated, so I was never in tune with his goals or aspirations.  Basically, I never knew what he did since he had stopped practicing psychology.

One night, after dinner, Dr. Rithguard crossed the line of guardian to that of my abductor.  While washing dishes I felt a small pain at the back of my neck, when I looked back, he was standing behind me, holding a needle and donning a wicked smile.

When I came to, I was in a very simple room.  There were no windows, only a small bed, a large mirror on the wall, a sink and a small bathroom.  The door to the room was made of metal and almost resembled that of a prison door. This was the beginning of my long and torturous confinement.

That was then, today, I’m 24 years old and have been held captive for 8 years.  My “guardian” runs experiments on me at his leisure.  His usual routine is to release a gas into my cell and once I’m incapacitated, he injects me and runs tests on me.

At first, I was unaware of what medications or chemicals were being injected into my system; however, one day, my eyesight changed.  I could focus on objects distant from my view and read them.  It is during that time that I discovered Dr. Rithguard was manipulating my genes.  Some of the medications were designed to heighten my brain activity and physical strength, others were designed to replace the nutrients I was lacking due to my imprisonment.  

Some of these drugs caused adverse reactions and I suffered from chronic pain and malnutrition for two years. After that, my body seemed to adjust and changes began to occur. My eyes that once were honey brown, changed into a combination of yellow, magenta, turquoise and green.  I had night-time vision capabilities as well as magnification; I could see through the pores of my skin. My ability to mentally process data changed as I could now access commonly inactive areas of the brain.  This also meant I could telekinetically move objects as well as read minds.  Although, I made sure Dr. Rithguard never became aware that Iast fact.  I learned much from his thought process; however, I could never pick up on emotional thoughts, he would always think of work.

Another changed aspect of my appearance was that of my hair color which had slowly turned from a dark brown to a silver hue. No matter what, the doctor did not want to cut my hair, he wanted it long.  He controlled everything about me, I was never allowed to make a choice. During the past two years, his thoughts began turning darker and I could hardly stand to look at him.

From what I could read from Dr. Rithguard’s notes, my changes were going along smoothly; however, one unexpected change occurred that shook him to his core. I stopped aging at 21.  My body heals on its own and my cells remain in a constant regenerative rate.  To him, this meant he had found the “fountain of youth.”

He worked furiously to see if he could recreate what he had done to make that happen; however, he remained unsuccessful to the very end.

It was hard to come up with a good escape plan, even with my abilities.  He kept me tired and drugged so that I wouldn’t attempt anything. I had to patiently wait for the right time to break free.

Today, as I lie awake after another nightmare, I decide to take action. My guardian had been forgetful lately and thus slipped in giving me the medication to sedate me. I braid my long hair and twirl it around into a bun, I couldn’t have any obstacles to hinder my escape since my hair is so long that it reaches right below my knees.  I begin to prepare myself, emotionally and mentally for it all and then strike.

I bang my head hard against the glass of my room and fall backwards, pretending to have a psychotic episode.  He couldn’t afford to brake his test subject.  Within seconds I hear the door to my room unlock and I feel his hand slide under my head to try and lift my head up for a closer inspection.  I sit up with all my strength successfully headbutting him.

I drag him and lift him to my bed to use the restraints he always used to contain me. “Alright you son of a bitch… it’s time for answers, why did you do this to me?” He begins to laugh “my dear, you’re unique and you don’t even know it!” I let out a growl, “TELL me WHY!” He kept laughing and suddenly began to shake.  I tried to help him, but he seemed to be suffering from an attack of some sort. I wanted him to talk to me… he never once did after being placed in this hell hole.  I was going to find some medicine, something, but he shakingly began to talk “I… I… sorry… you’ll find out… loved you… but you were rare… spec… specimen…” those were his last dying words.  I couldn’t feel sadness or hate.  All I knew was that I had to leave.  I cleaned up my bloodied face and changed my shirt, grabbed one of Mr. Rithguard’s many hats to cover my silver hair, took the money from his wallet and set fire to the place.

Once outside, I wandered around the streets and noticed how big the city had gotten.  I pass by a news stand and I look at the local paper to discover that today is July the 6th.  I remember my parents use to take me to a star gazing festival when we would visit this city.  I miss them so much. “Hey Miss, you gonna buy that?” I smile at the seller and grab a pair of sunglasses from the stand and purchase them instead of the publication.

I walk around aimlessly taking in the sites, feeling the sunlight on my pale skin.  I feel dizzy as I once again re-adjust to being outside, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Evening begins to set in and I wonder into a park.  As I stroll along I see an older man a few feet away from me attempt to take a child.  I try to move to save the child, but a flash of light distracts me for a second and a man with long blue hair in a ponytail wearing a uniform appears out of nowhere and snaps his fingers. The older man falls to the ground in agony as the child runs to his mother.

“Nnn… No… No way!” the words escape me and I turn to look at the man once again.  To my horror, nobody else can see him.  Have I truly gone mad? It’s a possibility! None the less, I begin to turn around in an effort to run; my sunglasses drop as I take a couple of steps forward when I feel someone hold my wrist and pull me backward.  I fight with all my strength; my hat falls and my long braid becomes undone; I hear a gasp come from the man holding me and he suddenly releases me. I take advantage of his distraction and force a trashcan to fly across the sidewalk hitting my captor, these telekinetic abilities come in handy.  

I take my chance to flee, but my accomplishment is short-lived as I begin to feel dizzier than before “damn… it” I whisper as I begin to fall, but a pair of arms hold me by the waist and turn me over.  The man with the pony tail begins to inch closer to my face… “please, let me go…” he intently studies my eyes and gasps. Tears of fear begin to fill my vision “My dear former goddess, I’ve finally found you!”  

I’m not sure what he’s talking about, but I place a hand to his chest and mentally push him away from me with such strength that I send him rolling across the sidewalk.  I begin to run away once again.  I make it out of the park to where the street is when I hear someone snap their fingers.  Suddenly I can’t move, it feels as if I’m restrained by something invisible. “Please stop running away, I’m not going to hurt you” I begin to hyperventilate, all of this is too overwhelming.  I want to be free!

I start to fall to the ground, but he catches me before I could hit the pavement and carries me. “What has happened to you? Your eyes, your hair…” I begin to feel my consciousness fade. “hold on…” the man snaps his fingers and my world changes before me. I pass out from the experience.

I begin to wake and I see so much bright light surrounding me.  I feel a very comfortable mattress beneath me lined with silk sheets.  I get up to walk around the room and notice that things are very neat and organized.  The door opens as I stand in the middle and the man with the ponytail walks in and smiles at me “you’re awake, good! We can take you to see the king soon.” He takes a step towards me and I move back.  I can’t trust anybody right now.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” I start to shake a little, but hold it in… “but you brought me here. Where am I? Never mind that… let me go please…” He extends a hand towards me and I jump backwards. “I’m not letting anybody take me ever again, I’ve suffered enough…” I put my hand towards him and push him against the wall with my mind.  He looks at me shocked, but with a curious gaze.  I make sure to hold his fingers in place so that he doesn’t snap them. I walk past him and open the door.  

I begin to run down a long corridor and my mental hold on the man breaks.  “Stop! Come back!” I run faster and open a huge door in front of me.  I make it inside and I am overwhelmed with the radiance of it all.  This looks like a throne room.  I quickly scan the room to find a way out. “Oh ho… looks like we have a little runaway!”  A man with long blond hair and an aura of regality appears before me.  I fall backwards and begin to pull myself away from him. However, with a wave of his hands I’m standing once again, and this time I’m pulled so close to him that our noses could meet.  

He gazes at me deeply with his eyes and I stare back, they were beautiful; it was as if you could see the universe in them. “My child, I can’t even read your mind and that’s impossible. What happened to you? Speak!”  He lets me go and I walk backwards putting distance between us. I just want to be free, I want to live some sort of semblance of a normal life.  

“Let me go please, I… I… can’t  be held prisoner again, please let me go!” He looks at me with a frown on his face when we’re interrupted by a knock on the door. “Your highness, may I come in?” The man with the ponytail comes in.  I begin to back away from both men. I can’t be taken.  I’m too scared I can’t think straight.  

“Minister Zyglavis, please come in.  Do you know what’s going on with the former goddess?” Why do they keep calling me that?  The man called Zyglavis walks up to the other one and both stare at me “I’m not sure your highness, I’ve tried speaking to her, but she keeps running away, she looks extremely frightened.” He slowly steps forward “I promise not to hurt you or get any closer, but you need to talk to us.”

I try to control my breathing and confusion… but everything is too overwhelming. I hold my head with both of my hands as if to pacify my mind and sit on the floor bending my knees to meet my head.  I feel a hand run through my hair, “my child, what have you been through?” I take a deep breath and find the man that minister referred to as the King kneeling in front of me. “I… was taken as a child and experimented on for many years… I… I” The tears begin to fall and I can’t seem to stop them.  The king looks at me with a sad gaze and I feel the minister’s arms surround me in an embrace “Shhh… you’re not there anymore… you’re safe…”  I let go of my head and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly… “I haven’t felt a warm…hiccup…embrace from a person in more than 11 years” I continue to sob onto his shoulder and I begin to lose consciousness once again.

ZYGLAVIS POV I can’t even begin to imagine what the former goddess has been through. I hug her to help calm her down and she in turn hugs me tighter, putting her arms around my neck.  When she tells me she hasn’t felt another person’s embrace in 11 years, I couldn’t even begin to fathom what other things she must have gone through. I stare at the king, who is looking quite furious, something I haven’t seen in centuries.  

I feel her cry harder as she nuzzles her head on my shoulder and slowly she begins to lose her strength and fall asleep.  I carry her and face the king. “Your highness, she seems to have powers, they are not godly in nature.” The king nods at me and touches the former goddess’s face. “My child, what have they done to you?...” his eyes look sad. “Zyglavis, take her to your room and watch her.  When she comes to, we’ll have to work slowly to get any information we can from her.  She’s been hurt for too long, and so far, seems to trust you more.” I nod to the king and leave with the former goddess in my arms.  She looks beautiful sleeping peacefully.  Her eyes are so many shades of colors and her stars shone brightly when I first saw them.

Nyx’s POV I’m falling again… the darkness is suffocating me… I feel warm arms surround me and I begin to slow down and slowly wake up, this is different. “Nnnggh…” I see a bit of blue hair in my peripheral vision… this must be the minister… “Zyglavis?” The minister immediately pulls back and holds my face with both of his hands… “Are you alright former goddess?” I nod. “Why do you keep calling me ‘former goddess’?” He lets go of my face and smiles “the stars in your eyes; you are the reincarnation of a former goddess.” I’m what? “but there are no Gods, Dr. Rithguard told me never to wish and not to believe.” Zyglavis stares at me with a shocked face… “We are real, we’ve always been here and you were one of us.  Was Dr. Rithguard your captor?”

It can’t be, Gods are real?  I mean, I’ve seen what this man can do, but, I don’t know. “G.. Gods are real?” he smiles, “Yes we are and we’ve been looking for you; now, was that man your captor? I take a deep breath, “yes, he took me after my parents’ death. He adopted me, but he… he had other plans for me. He’s the reason I’m a freak. In fact, I’m not alright, please let me go. Maybe I’m crazy and this is all a figment of my imagination? Am I dreaming? Am I still a captive?” I begin to breathe rapidly as I feel fear and darkness surround me once again.

Zyglavis looks at me sadly and holds my shoulders… “you are not a freak and you are here with me, I will protect you. None of this was your fault!  I just don’t understand why we can’t sense you or him? I don’t even know your name.”  I look down, I feel ashamed, scared, unsure, but, maybe I can trust Zyglavis a little. “My name is Nyx.”  Zyglavis smiles and releases my shoulders. “Well Nyx, it’s nice to finally meet you.  Now, when was the last time you ate?” I think hard on this “four days ago.” Zyglavis’ jaw drops and frantically begins to feel my forehead and observe my figure. “Oh my, this is bad! What would you like to eat? Say the word and I’ll snap up some food for you.”  I begin to laugh “I typically eat once or twice weekly… I really don’t need to eat often like humans do.”  He looks at me sadly once again.

“I mean, am I still human? What is wrong with me? Please don’t lock me up!”  Zyglavis hugs me once again. “Shhhh… you’re going through something that I can’t explain very well until I learn your story. But it seems that you’ve been kept hidden for a long time. It’s only natural for you to feel this way.  Please calm down, no harm will come to you.”

I take in a deep breath and try to tell my story.  “Dr. Rithguard took me a long time ago…” I stop, scared to speak. “What did this man do to you?”  I look down and begin to play with my hair, a nervous tick of mine. “He tested drugs he created on me and changed me over time.  I was locked in a laboratory for 8 years.  He would release a gas in my room often to subdue me in order to medicate me, run tests or provide medical care when… when…” I trail off, this part is too painful. Zyglavis looks at me and quickly holds my hands “when?” I cry “I would try to take my own life. I couldn’t handle it anymore.  The pain of the medicines, unable to set food outside for so long, my parents’ death, everything… I wanted to escape.  Even hell sounded like a vacation for me.  But then, my body quickly healed itself in one attempt, my flesh sealed on its own… I could no longer die… even that right was taken from me…” Zyglavis looks at me in shock “I… I’m so sorry Nyx.  I almost don’t know what to say. No one should take their own life, ever; but I know you went through a horrible experience.” He looks at me sadly and hugs me once again.  I take shelter in his arms and feel my worries slip away.  “Is it okay if I take a bath?” Zyglavis nods and with a snap of his fingers a white dress, bath supplies and other necessities appear beside me on the bed.  “I’ll take you to the baths, follow me…”

Zyglavis leads me down a long beautifully ornate corridor and opens two golden doors.  The sight of the beautiful circular bath took my breath away.  There were intricate statues of gods and goddesses all around.  Zyglavis snapped his fingers once more and provided me with towels.  “Nyx, I will be gone for a few minutes and then I’ll come back to stand guard outside, please take your time.”  I bow to Zyglavis as he leaves.

I get ready fast, I’ve always wanted to take a bath again!  When I was held captive, I had to take a shower, and it was always under Dr. Rithguard’s watchful stare.

I enter the bath and I begin to relax.  My long hair encircles my body as it floats and glistens under the water, I should at least cut it waist high one of these days.  Since the bath was almost as big as a pool, I dive under for a few seconds and then return to the surface. “Oooooh, what do we have heeeeere?” A man with a mischievous smile stands on the side of the bath looking down at me.  He has half of his hear up and a uniform almost like Zyglavis’.  I begin to panic and swim away from him. “You’re a beautiful fish, aren’t you?”  My heart races and I begin to scream.  The man begins to panic and shakes his hands “No, no, no, I’m not going to hurt you, please relax!” But then, Zyglavis comes running in to check on me and I climb out quickly and stand behind him.  My wet hair clinging to my body covers me. “Icthys, what are you doing in here!” he asks the other man with a commanding tone. “I thought I heard a noise and I came to check it out.  Who is this beautiful and unusual fishy?”  He begins to look at my face and his eyes widen. “Zyg, is she?” Zyglavis lowers his head as if he’s annoyed. “Yes Icthys, she’s the former goddess…” Zyglavis snaps his fingers and a towel is suddenly wrapped around my body. “Have more respect, will you? You can visit her after she’s ready, for now, we’re leaving.” Zyglavis snaps his fingers and we’re transported back to his room along with everything I had taken with me to the bath.

“Apologies Nyx, he’s a most troublesome god, but he means well.  Please get dressed.”  I begin to take off my towel and his face turns bright red “NO, not here, not in front of me, let me at least turn my back to you.”  I laugh “I’m sorry, I just got used to always being watched that it doesn’t bother me anymore.” His face cools down and he becomes sad once again. “You poor child… let me know when you’re done and I’ll help you with your long hair.”  He turns around and I begin to put on the clothes he provided me with.  The dress he made is a long, white empire waist cut style drafted from a very soft silky material. The bust line was a bit revealing to me, but it was elegant and the straps had pearls sown in to them.

“Zyglavis, I’m done.” He turns around and gives me the warmest smile; he snaps his fingers and my hair instantly dries. “Can I brush your hair Nyx?”  I nod and he grabs a brush and begins to gently work on my hair; it feels so good that I could fall asleep on the spot. “Your hair is so long and beautiful.” I laugh “It’s also a pain to manage, but Dr. Rithguard would never let me cut it.”  He continues to brush my hair and then makes a French braid.  I laugh a little… “I never thought a man knew how to do this!” He smiles and blushes “I love taking care of my hair, so, I’ve picked up a few things.”  When he’s done he brings the long braid to the front.  “Icthys wasn’t lying Nyx, you really are beautiful.” I smile at Zyglavis “thank you for that, I’m just scared about what will happen to me? Don’t people in my situation normally lose their minds? I mean, am I crazy?” He smiles sadly at me. “the fact that you question your sanity and worry about it means you understand things the way they are.  You are not crazy, believe me. I have friends that can help you, but you need to be willing to meet them.” I begin to cry. “You’re the only one I have spoken to in so long, I’m afraid to be without you!”  He gently holds me… “I will always be with you, plus, you’ll make new friends.”

I nod in agreement into his chest. “Alright Nyx, it’s time to go and meet the King again.  Let me talk to him first while you wait outside for a bit. Is it okay if Icthys stays with you?” I think about the god from earlier again, he didn’t seem to be bad… “yes, that’ll be fine, but can you talk to him before you leave me with him?” Zyglavis smiles, “yes, of course.”

We stand by the King’s door and Zyglavis addresses Icthys. “Be sure to take care of her and stay by her side. She’s in a delicate state right now.”  Icthys smiles at me “Zyg, I’ll take good care of her for you!”  Zyglavis gives Icthys one last stare and then looks my way “I’ll be back in a few minutes okay, stay here.” I smile at him as he walks into the room.  I have to be strong. “Sooooo… Nyx is i?… can I see your eyes again?!”

ZYGLAVIS POV I inform the King of what I have learned.  His concern is evident, a rare sight. “Zyglavis, this isn’t right. I never sensed her again after she turned 13.  I haven’t been able to read her mind and no wishes were ever made.”  

“Your highness, the man that held her captive, this Dr. Rithguard, do you know of him?”  The King looks confused, “no, not at all. Have Leon and Scorpio investigate the matter.  Let the other gods study Nyx to see how far this man changed her.  She is now enigma, no longer a goddess, yet she still has her stars, and no longer human.” I bow to the King and make my way back to Nyx.

NYX’S POV “Can I play with your braid? Pleeeaaaaasseee?” I sigh, “for the thousandth time NO! Icthys!” He pouts as he looks at me when another god walks up to both of us, I quickly try to hide behind Icthys. “My, my… what gorgeous specimen do you have hiding behind you Icthys?” This man doesn’t feel right to me, something is off. “Partheno!!! This is the former goddess! Zyg found her!!!”

TO BE CONTINUED

[beefstew252]

i was tagged by @davidbowie69​ to do this time- consuming tageroony

(answer 92 questions and tag 20 ppl)

the last

1. drink: water cuz im basic

2. phone call: mi amiga ella

3. text message: “ehehhehehehehehhe with like a million laughy face emojis cuz im too awkward to live”

4. song you listened to: telephone line by ELO

5. time you cried: probs last night when i cried myself to sleep or yesterday when i watched life and was too scared so i leaked from my seeing crevices

have you

6. dated someone twice: never even been on a date whoops im a loooser

7. kissed someone and regretted it: lhehehehehe my mommy

8. been cheated on: friend wise- yes but not like in relationships lol im not kewl

9. lost someone special: mhmhmhmhm i move everyday and am unlovable soo not a good combo

10. been depressed: lol yup yup yup everyday but i cover it with smiley face stickers and sprinkles

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: mayyybbeeee when i accidently drank a bunk of mikes hard lemonade hehehhhhehehe

list 3 favorite colors

12. yellow

13. mintish green

14. sky blue

in the last year you have…

15. made new friends: @davidbowie69​ i love my mommm 

16. fallen out of love: nope im always in love with everyone ever

17. laughed until you cried: EVERYDAY im a giggly person tbh

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really but i constantly feel like my friends talk about how horrible i am sooooo same difference 

19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet tbh <3333333

20. found out who your friends are: i think maybe if they actually love me as much as i love themmmmm <333

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what even is face book tbh

generale

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: girl i dont understand this booking faceeeee

23. do you have any pets: my dear pet rock mildred and her associate mr pebbleton (but i wanna doggo so badddd)

24. do you want to change your name: nah m8 sofia is fineeee af i think

25. what did you do for your last birthday: 4 days agooo hmmm i slept in and had avocado toast like a true millennial and went to the grocery store with my mom lol and then went to my fav place in the world an art store then had cake and watched life which was horrifying twas pretty fun

26. what time did you wake up: 10ish but usually like afternoonish whoops

27. what were you doing last night at midnight: i was watching the OA which was actually amazin tbh

28. name something you can’t wait for: WINNING THE PRESIDENCY WITH MY VICE PRES KANYE IN 2020 HONESTLYYYY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just now when she told me to do the laundry

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had stayed in one place and had real, true friendships

31. what are you listening to right now: build me up buttercup- the foundations

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no not really???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: constantly thinkin im not good enough and some “people” i know heh

34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix and gmail tbh

lost questions. i just put in random info about me

wow op was a little bitch--- keepin this in thx ellie

35. moles: yes but theyre outside and probably have rabies and are blind af and no longer are in my backyard---- jkjk yea i do tho

36. marks: everywhere on my ugly af self

37. childhood dream: i wanted to be a squirrel when i grew up sooo

38. hair color: dark brown

39. long or short hair: short shoulder lengthish??

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah everyone i meet ever 

41. what do you like about yourself: my curly af hair and strangely large energy reserves (gracias mitochondria)

42. piercings: ear piercins

43. blood type: idk man but i hope its the kind from that episode of doctor who with the aliens and they controlled u with blood or somethin and david tennant lost an arm it was wild

44. nickname: sofie, sofie dofie, didi, olaf, mr. f@#*ing compassion, slink, softpants once again, sof fresh, coneybear? leaf?, ronnie, macaronnie, charlie kelly tbh

45. relationship status: hahahahahahahahahahaha

46. zodiac: cancer, (yes i know im a crabb dont make funna me)

47. pronouns: she/her also ultimate supreme ruler of 7M tbh

48. favorite tv show: stranger things, its always sunny in philadelphia, parks and rec, the office, tbh the new show i just binged yesterday called the OA, friends, etcetcetc

49. tattoos: nope i have a very low pain tolerance

50. right or left hand: right im bland af

51. surgery: yea my poor eye lol ive had like 3 on that one alone whwhwhw

52. hair dyed different color: no id look like a uglier potato

53. sport: competitive cloud watching

54. *GASP* there is no spoon…there is no question 54…………………….  ………………………..hey remember those wayside school books because i sure do------ also keepin this im unoriginal and still dont understand tags lol

55. vacation: the moon

56. pair of trainers: white superstar adidas or grossly dirty “white” converse cuz im basic once again

plus generales

57. eating: i just ate strawberries and a grilled cheese sandwich sooo

58. drinking: w a t e r ---stay hydrated mis amigos

59. i’m about to: host the most lit party in the world tbh (mario kart and pizza binches)

60. *bo burnham voice in my head, for some reason* it’s not real. time is an illusion.------ im lazy do u see a trend????!?

61. waiting for: my next trip to the northeast cuz i miss it

62. want: a real friend tbh.        also *dr evil voice* 1 MILLion DOllaRs

63. get married: yup and i agree with the bae on “why couldn’t this have been question 64 because when i’m sixty four by the beatles is also the best song ever sooooo”

64. career: eww the future i h8 probs an astronaut so i can fly into the void

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: AWW ILL TAKE ANYTHIN

66. lips or eyes: eyes who even looks at lips eww theyre like chapped and stuff

67. shorter or taller: short lil bean or tall beans everyone is valid

68. older or younger: all the ages?

69. yOU hAVe GOt To bE KiDdINg ME wHY is 69 SKipPeD--- gracias por las cosas

70. nice arms or nice stomach: eww nice personality honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive like me hehehehhee

72. hook up or relationship: relationshippppp<3 if any soul could stand me for longer than a day

73. troublemaker or hesitant: ??????? i like robbie rotton

have you ever…

don’t we need tequila  apple juice for this part

74. kissed a stranger: no but today i made a snarky comment quietly about a kid who was smoothie drinkin and bikin and we made solid eye contact for like 30 secs sooo same difference

75. drank hard liquor: i licked vodka once it was gross and i almost threw up

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: jason sat on and broke my glasses once so same thing

77. turned someone down: yeah the monster livin in my drawer tried to take me to the movies once and i was like BOI UR A MONSTER LIVIN IN MY ROOM COME ON

78. sex on the first date:   eWWWWWEWWewewewewwwwew

79. broken someone’s heart: hah no one has ever liked me in the history of the human race sooo

80. had your heart broken: everyday

81. been arrested: im what the police call “an angel”

82. cried when someone died: every time my fav character died or any other time im an emotional lil bean honestly

83. fallen for a friend: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehhehe

do you believe in…

84. yourself: eww no i suck

85. miracles: one time someone said i was pretty 

86. love at first sight: yes i’m certain that it happens all the time STEALIN IT ELLIE SOZ NOT SOZ

87. santa claus: yes yes yes 

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmmmmmmidkman

89. angels: me

other

man, op really ran outta ideas here

90. current best friend’s name: none of my “best friends” think im their best friend too soooo no im a lonely person but if i had to say somethin itd be russell crow(e?) as javert tbh

91. eye color: poop brown

92: favorite movie: all of them but also good will hunting, cinema paridiso, life is beautiful, dead poets society, breakfast club, 16 candles the list goes ONNNNN man

well, it’s been real

i tag vlad putin and jeff

[killiancygnus]

Serendipitous Melody 12/?

Summary: Everyone has dreams. You might dream of becoming an astronaut or teacher, or you might want to become a doctor and save as many lives you can. Emma Swan’s childhood dream was being a singer. But with life getting in the way and never finding the courage to overcome her fears, she never had a chance to follow it. That is until a little push from her friends lead her to cash on an opportunity; and, who knows, she might even get more than what she’d wished for.

Rated: T

Word count: ~3.3k

A/N:   I LIVE! I know this is super late and I’m very sorry but between writer’s block and the hard time I’m having at uni it took me ages to finish this up. I hope you like it though! I honestly don’t know when I’ll be able to post chapter 13 since exams season will begin in a few days for me but I’ll try my best not to make you wait 6 weeks again. Anyway, comments make my day so if you liked this chapter or if you’ve just started reading this story, don’t be shy! I’m a sweet potato you can ask around :’).

As always, huge thanks to @the-reason-to-sail-home and @londonsbridge, my woderful friends and betas, for helping me with the editing and to all the CS Writers’ Hub ladies.

Tagging some friends: @villains-happy-ending, @stardusted-nymph, @allisonchameron, @kmomof4, @hencethebravery, @katie-dub, @captainwiley, @irishswanff, @thejollypirate, @dassala, @imhookedonaswan, @ofshipsandswans, @legendofthephoenixcs and @mahstatins

If you want to be tagged too let me know :)

(Emma’s song is ‘Human’ by Christina Perry whereas Elsa’s is ‘Bird Set Free’ by Sia)

Links: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 / AO3

Emma was slowly climbing up the stairs, trying with all her might not to bounce up and down in excitement. She was just about to have a lesson with Killian, her first lesson before the semifinals. She couldn’t believe she had gotten so far in this competition, which was ironic because at first Ruby had to do a lot of convincing for her to even consider doing an audition.

A few days had passed since she last saw Killian. And, to be honest, she’d spent a nice couple of days with him. Yes, him telling her how much he cared for her and them both sharing bits and pieces of their past had been emotionally draining for the both of them, but they had fun. Watching the show with him had been great, even though she had to admit that watching and hearing herself sing on television had been weird. He gave her tips, based on both the others’ performance and hers, he told her stories of what happened behind the scenes and then he made her blush furiously when he went on an impassioned rant about how much she’d improved since they’d started working together and how much of an amazing singer she is.

The days leading to her next lesson were mostly uneventful. They would have been completely quiet if only Mary Margaret didn’t convince her to go out with Ruby. However, what she claimed was a simple ‘girls day out’ turned out being an excuse to drag Emma with them on wedding dress hunt. And apparently, only a few weeks of engagement were enough to transform Mary Margaret in what Emma could only define as a wedding obsessed monster. She dragged both her and Ruby in shop after shop, for the whole day, discussing flowers arrangements, colors themes and the pros and cons of lace and satin dresses. Yeah, it was that bad, but, truth be told, Emma had never loved shopping much. There needed to be a rare astral conjunction to find her in the mood to go around in the city and browse through piles and piles of clothes in different shops. She was one of those persons that shopped with an aim: she would enter a shop, spot what she needed to buy in a few minutes and head to the cashier to pay.

She had to admit, though, that going wedding dress shopping was another matter altogether. It was a bit overwhelming and intimidating entering those beautiful and sophisticated shops, with all those stunning, immaculate dresses hanging neatly along the walls.

Whereas Emma felt quite out of her element there, Mary Margaret- just like Ruby- seemed unfazed by all that luxury. She was a woman on a mission: find the perfect dress, the one which would make her feel like a princess and everyone else cry. She tried on dress after dress, but she never seemed satisfied. Emma had never thought her friend would be so prickly, and she really couldn’t understand why she had been. Maybe it was because Emma wasn’t exactly made for marriage. But, then again, maybe she was more romantic than she cared to admit, and the thought of spending ages looking for a dress was absolutely crazy to her. What was the point, if the only opinion that would matter was the one of the person you were going to marry, who would find you stunning just in your pjs? Well, it wasn’t luckily she’d ever find out anyway. She was no relationship material, as she made Killian understand the other day.

Killian… Now that she thought about it, when he saw her in only a pair of leggings, his faded batman t-shirt and with a messy bun on top of her head, he gave her the same look he always gave her whenever she walked onstage, all dressed up with perfect hair and makeup. But it wasn’t anything like that with him. He was just her friend - probably her best friend - right?

As she took the last few steps to the door, Emma groaned in frustration. Why did all her thoughts have to lead to him?

She didn’t even have the time to knock, that she heard Killian’s voice coming from right behind her.

“Morning, Emma!” he greeted, stopping next to her, with two cups of steaming coffee in hand.

“Hey! You know you don’t have to bring me hot chocolate - or coffee - every time we have a lesson right?”

“Of course I do, but I want to. And look who’s talking!” He gestured to the package she was holding, “What do you have there, Swan?”

Emma teased him, grinning, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

”Perhaps I would,” he replied with a cheeky smile on his lips and a sinful look in his eyes that made Emma’s cheeks flush pink.

Emma was ready to punch him on the shoulder but then reconsidered it. That coffee smelled divine; it would have been a shame if he dropped it after she'd punched him. So, for the coffee’s sake, she just rolled her eyes at the ceiling and entered the room. As she put the small bag down on the table, she could hear Killian giggle behind her. He followed her and stopped by her side, putting the coffees by whatever she brought that day.

Emma was fidgeting with the package and internally cursing Mary Margaret for closing it in such an overcomplicated way, while Killian watched her in amusement. When she finally managed to open it, she suddenly stopped, catching a movement with the corner of the eye.

“Ah, ah, ah!” She tutted, moving away the bag from Killian, who was trying to sniff its content. “Step away or I’ll eat them both.”

Killian pouted innocently and took a step away. “And what would they be, Swan?”

“Homemade muffins!” Emma beamed, showing him a perfectly crafted chocolate muffin.

Killian took the pastry and eyed it suspiciously, not daring taking even a small bite, making Emma huff in annoyance at his theatrics.

“You didn’t make them do you?” he asked warily.

“What if I did?”

“Then it’d mean I really had underestimated both your wish to see me dead and your cooking abilities.”

While she gently peeled the cup off her muffin, Emma snorted, shaking her head, “Mary Margaret made them. You’re safe.”

Happy with her answer, Killian took a large bite of his muffin as if he’d never seen food in days.

“What did you get me, instead?” Emma asked, eyeing curiously at the two steaming cups next to him. 

Killian took her drink and gave it to her. “Why don’t you take a guess?”

Putting the muffin aside, she took the cup and sniffed it, before taking a sip.“Uhm…” she hesitated, ”Cappuccino? With... Chocolate?”

“Nope, but you were close,” he smirked, “It’s a latte macchiato with chocolate.”

“Oh, I like it!”

“Good.”

They drank and ate in silence for a bit, enjoying the feeling of the caffeine starting to kick in. It was just when the only things left of the muffins were only a few crumbs, that Killian broke the silence.

“You know, Emma,” he started, hand moving up to scratch behind his neck, “I think I’ve found the perfect songs for the semifinals. Would you like to take a look at them?”

“Sure.” Emma nodded excitedly.

Smiling at her enthusiasm, he walked up to the piano, and browsed the papers inside the folder laying on the stool for then going back to her. She happily accepted the stack of sheet music he offered her.

“Killian,” Emma gasped as soon as her eyes focused on the songs’ titles, “They are perfect! How did you-?”

“As I’ve told you before, love,” Killian interrupted her with a smirk, “Open book.

Days came and went, busy with work, rehearsals and nonstop wedding talk for her utter and unconditional joy. There wasn’t a single day that went by without an embarrassing amount of texts going back and forth between her and Killian, though. They would talk and talk, but truth be told, they were just goofing around most of the time. He especially liked to send her memes and random weird pictures of animals to tease her, to which she’d reply with either the eye roll emoji or the middle finger one. He sent her so many pictures, that by now she was sure she had at least five pictures of goats saved on her phone - yes he was that much of a dork (and she actually loved it). However, as the time passed, her excitement for the next episode they had to shoot grew more and more.

She loved the song he chose for her. It was perfect, considering everything she had to go through, both lately and in the past. She didn’t have to fish the emotions she wanted to show that deep into her heart; they were just there floating on the surface for her to catch and reel into her voice. 

(Wait. Was that a fishing metaphor? Damn girl, your nerves are bad…)

Nerves aside, she was confident in her abilities and determined to win, but only her or Elsa would go to the final, and Emma knew her friend wouldn't go down without a fight. She had heard Elsa sing a couple of times during rehearsals but every contestant, her included, used to conceal themselves a little during group rehearsals. She had heard her audition on telly too, but it was only when Ruby made her watch the show on Monday that she realised how talented Elsa actually was.

When shooting day finally arrived, Emma’s insides were already a ball of jittery energy. A part of her wanted to go knock at Killian’s dressing room door as soon as she got to the studios. As much much as she didn't like to admit it, even just seeing him would have helped her relax, but she couldn't go. She really couldn't. Their relationship had already been much more intimate than what was expected from them; they couldn't be seen hanging around and interacting with each other as they used to. Not there, not ever. If someone were to find out, all hell would break loose. So, Emma disgruntledly willed her feet to walk past the coaches’ dressing rooms and headed to hair and makeup, hoping that a few hours of sitting on a comfy chair while being fussed over would calm her nerves. Elsa was already there too, so, as soon as Emma sat down on her assigned chair next to her, they started talking. However, when Ashley threatened to draw mustaches with waterproof eyeliner on both their faces, they both stopped. Ashley was a sweet girl but it was better not to cross her, so, while Elsa decided to put on her earbuds and listen to some music, Emma focused her attention on Ashley’s movements as she gave the last few touches on her makeup before starting working on a complicated updo.

They were almost ready to go get dressed when she heard Elsa muttering the lyrics of the song she’d sing.

“I'm not gon' care if I sing off key, I find myself in my melodies. I sing for love, I sing for me,”

“I shout it out like a bird set free,” Emma sang with her, making Elsa blush as she realised she had been singing out loud.

“Sorry,” she smiled, taking one of the earbuds off.

“Don’t be,” Emma brushed her off with a smile, “It’s a beautiful song. I think it’s perfect for you.”

“Thank you. I think I’ve got to go get changed now,” Elsa said, taking a quick look at her schedule. “Good luck!”

“Likewise.

It was always hard for him to pretend not to be nervous and excited for his team when shooting, and the uneasiness would only grow when the time for Emma to perform got closer. And today wasn’t an exception. It wasn’t really professional for him, not at all, but he couldn’t help it. She was special, his best friend. The best friend his heart longed for but he didn’t dare make a move on because the timing was not ideal, because he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. Sometimes she would look at him with such love and affection that it made his breath catch in his throat, but then it’d soon be replaced with fear. He couldn't risk it. He'd patiently wait all the time she needed but he wouldn't stop fighting for her. After all, as his brother used to say, a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.

Robin was joking around with Tink and Ariel was laughing along as the lights dimmed out, but he wasn’t in the mood to join them. Emma and Elsa were the first to sing and he probably was more nervous than them. The fact that this time around it was Emma’s turn to perform first decisively didn’t help at all, but he was more than confident in her abilities.

From where he was sitting he could see her patiently waiting to climb onstage when announced. Her eyes were closed and her eyebrows knotted in a concentrated frown. As if she sensed the burn of his stare on her, she opened her eyes and smiled at him, nodding as if to say ‘Don’t worry, I got it’. He gave her a soft smile in return just as he heard her name being announced by Belle and the audience go wild. He couldn’t believe he had been so stunned at Emma’s sight in the backstage to not even hear Belle talking.

He followed her with his eyes as she sprinted in the arena, high fiving the people standing next to the short corridor that lead her on the sage. She was radiant, jumping around in excitement and smiling brightly.

She must be enjoying not having to balance on those ridiculously high heels for once, he thought with a chuckle.

Soon, she reached the right side of the stage where a white grand piano was waiting for her. Sitting on the stool after smudging some non existing wrinkles from her navy blue lace dress, she put her hands on the keyboard. A few gold locks which had masterly been left out of the loose chignon on the back of her head, framed her face as she tilted her chin down waiting for the music to start.

The lights dimmed even more, only to leave a single white spotlight illuminating her. It was only when silence fell in the studio that the music began coming from the numerous speakers around the theater. Her voice resounded in the arena soon after, her tone soft and crystal clear as always, while small white sparkles exploded on the screen behind her following the melody coming from her fingers.

He couldn’t help but look at her in wonder - much like everyone else in the theater - as she worked her magic. He was drawn in, placed under a spell as she moved to the refrain. If he thought she had been good at that at the auditions, now it was another thing altogether. Not only did she have much more control on her voice, being now able to modulate it as she pleased, but she could control her emotions better too. She could now channel them into her voice without so much of an effort, avoiding to flow into excess at times. It was a beautiful evolution to watch. She was beautiful to watch.

But I’m only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I’m only human

And I crash and I break down

Your words in my head, knives in my heart

You build me up and then I fall apart

'Cause I’m only human,

As she got closer to the second refrain, the music built in intensity as did the sparkles on the screen. Swiftly, she picked the mic from its stall and got up reaching the center of the stage hitting high note after high note. The stage flashed with white rays of light as she sang, following her voice and the music in a crescendo that lit up the audience. There was all of Emma in there: all the hurt, all the worry, all the battles she had to fight, all the desire to just be Emma.

Then everything went black, except for a single ray of light on the top of Emma’s head. Her voice started back from soft and low to grow in one last crescendo that would lead to the last final high notes, only for it to dye down in a whisper at the end.

Both Tink and Ariel shot up to applaud her as soon as the last feeble echo of her voice resounded in the arena, while Robin clapped slowly pleased and still a bit awestruck. Killian, instead, was grinning proudly at her, clapping along with everyone else. The cheering from the audience was deafening, and Killian could see her cheeks tinging pink as she muttered a thanks. When their eyes met a few moments later she smiled softly, her eyes shining with emotion. Time must had stopped, because the seconds in which they only but looked at each other, lasted an eternity. Their eyes were like magnets, the pull too strong to fight it and try to look down. He hoped he could see the love, the adoration and the pride in his eyes, just as he could see the affection and the adrenaline-induced liveliness in hers. It was only when Belle ushered her backstage to present Elsa’s song that their connection broke.

Elsa got onstage soon after, not looking fazed at all by Emma’s performance. On the contrary, she looked more determined and secure than ever. In fact, she kept up with her teammate more than nicely. She gave everything she had, blowing everyone away with her (until then fairly hidden) talent.

After the second standing ovation of the day, the time for him and the other coaches to vote finally came. It had been hard for all four of them to decide to whom give their point since they all had loved both their performance. Eventually it all ended in a tie, with Robin surprisingly giving his vote to Emma and Killian to Elsa. As soon as he gave his preference though, he saw a flash of hurt and confusion in Emma’s eyes matched by an equally confused and elated expression on Elsa’s face, while boos from the audience echoed in the theater.

Bringing a finger on his lips to ask ask for a moment of silence, he then spoke “I’d like to give an explanation of my vote to you and to everyone else here and watching us. I, as coach to both of you,” he continued, gesturing to Emma and Elsa, “not only got to meet you amazing women, but I also got to see how much you care about this, how much you’ve improved. Tonight both your performances were beyond not only mine, because I know your potential, but everyone else’s expectations. After tonight you both equally deserve to get to the final, and since I couldn’t really find fault in any of your performances, I decided to make you face the audience’s vote next week without any of you having any kind of advantage.”

As he talked, Emma’s expression changed to something undecipherable, and that scared him. She was closing off on him again.

As both Emma and Elsa walked backstage to leave the space to Ariel’s team, he hoped she would understand that he couldn’t give his vote to her again, no matter how much he wanted.

When a last flash of her gold waves disappeared backstage, Killian just prayed she would give him a chance to explain himself when not surrounded by cameras. 

[canaryatlaw]

alright. so today was overall pretty good. I woke up to my alarm at 10:15 because I was scheduled to get a call from the DV clinic about potentially interning there for a while at 10:30. So I more or less just got myself to wake up until they called. It was fine, mostly what I knew already, going over what the responsibilities would be and how I could get to court and all that good stuff. I was going to ask if there was a possibility it would lead to a long term job, but I was never given the opportunity to ask questions lol which I’m sure was an accidental oversight on their part, but they did say that they hoped to have all their hiring done by the end of June, so that sounded somewhat promising. I told them I’d keep them updated about news on the New York job and how that may affect me going back to NY, but I could potentially work through the end of June. So that was good. After the call I tried to go back to sleep because I’m lazy and I like sleep, but it wasn’t happening, so I got up and made blueberry pancakes being that I was out of m&ms and other suitable chocolate substitutes. I tried to make the batter a little thicker than I had previously so it would be able to support the blueberries more and not just fall apart, and it worked pretty well and there weren’t any uncooked middle parts which is generally my fear with thicker batter so that I was pleased about. I had cut down on how much batter I actually made, so it only made about three small to medium sized pancakes but that was a solid breakfast. After eating I decided I should get a jump on going to the store since I had the phone interview later, so I got ready and grabbed my cart and walked down to the grocery store. Just stocking up on some essentials like eggs and milk and getting some random stuff (like more m&ms) I needed for one reason or another. Didn't take too long, got checked out and the cashier gave me 17 of the little monopoly game pieces, which I’m pretty sure was way too many for how much I actually bought, but I mean I wasn’t complaining lol. Idk if I’ve mentioned it before, but the grocery store in connection with a bunch of other grocery stores in different states is doing the huge monopoly give away game like the one they did at McDonald’s a million years ago if you remember that, you get game pieces based on how much you spend, and each little piece has 4 property pieces, and if you get all the property pieces for a certain section of the monopoly board you win a prize. So she gave me 17 of them (I counted) and they had 4 each in them, which means I now had 68 new game pieces lol. I got back from the store and started to work on putting my civil rights final info together (as in what to take into the open book final). I had tried to upload some outlines to the outline depot site I was talking about so I could download some, but the ones I had hadn’t been approved yet, so I figured I’d wait until tomorrow to see if they can get approved so I could get the outline. Otherwise I could pay $20 for it, which kind of seems like a lot, but in reality it’s in line with what Quimbee and such would charge for their outlines. Once I had established that, I went through my case briefs and did some editing, just so everything lined up all nice and pretty and deleted some extraneous information, and I managed to cut it down from 66 pages to 58, so that was good. I then added page numbers to the table of contents I had made for each section and case. Once I had all that done I printed both docs, which took a lot of printing obviously, the amount of trees I’ve killed in the name of open book exams is....plentiful, at this point. I pulled a binder out of my closet (where everyone keeps their binders, you know) along with the massive three hole punch I acquired somewhere along the way (love that thing) and set it all up in the binder. At 4 I got the phone call for the longer phone interview, which ended up lasting about 50 minutes. Lots of questions, most of them going along the lines of “can you give me an example of a time when blah blah blah” meaning I had to come up with a story and I am the worst at doing that, but I feel like i managed to come up with mostly true stories, and the more fabricated ones were at least based on fact, so I was more or less satisfied with that. They said the next step was they were going to select like 2 or 3 final candidates and have them interview with their full team, so we’ll see where it goes with that. not gonna lie, I have somewhat of a feeling of dread regarding the job, just because I’m worried that I would be bored out of my mind, but I mean, it’d be a job and it’d be here, which is good....I have mixed feelings, obviously. but we’ll have to see where that goes. Hopefully I’ll have an answer on the NY job before I hear back from them so I’ll at least have a better idea of where I stand with that. After the phone call I spent an absurdly long time putting all the monopoly pieces on the board, lol. The game has been going on for months now, so I have like 3 out of 4 pieces for a lot of the different prize spaces, but of course the thing is they make 3 of them fairly common and just make very few of the last one. But hey, it’s fun, so it’s all good. When I finished up with that I looked at remedies flashcards for about 5 minutes before deciding I wanted to bake cupcakes instead. I had the cake mix I bought last week, but I wasn’t exactly wanting to bake 24 cupcakes, so I decided to get clever divide the necessary ingredients to make a smaller portion. the recipe called for 3 eggs, and since you can’t really divide eggs as well as other ingredients, I figured I’d do 1/3 of the recipe, so 8 cupcakes. so I used my super handy kitchen scale to weigh the cake mix (it was 15.6 oz) and then measure out 1/3 of that (5.2 oz), then mix it with one egg, and a third of the amounts of oil and water. A few times previously I had tried some of the pinterest suggestions for making boxed cake mixes better, mainly like add an extra egg, swap the oil for melted butter and double it (no, really) and use milk instead of water, but in my experience the cake would come out of the oven looking really great and puffy, then literally right away it would just shrink into it self and not be fluffy at all, lol. it still tasted great, but felt kinda heavy, so I decided to not do that. I had to run out of my building and get my amazon package off the front porch, because I had just ordered a new cookie dough scoop since I managed to somehow break my old one, which wasn't actually working well at all anyway, so that wasn’t much of a loss. But I used the scoop to divide out the batter, which was fairly mess free and worked well. Box said 12-17 minutes for cupcakes, I checked after 12 and they were good to go, so I let them cool while I ate some dinner. I had grabbed a rotisserie chicken from the store earlier and had stowed it in the oven for a while so it stayed warm, then kind of ate some of it throughout the afternoon. By the time I sat down in front of the tv it was 7:20, at which point I realized Supergirl started 20 minutes ago and I’m very bad at this whole watching tv shows live thing. So I started the episode from the beginning. It was interesting, probably one of the better episodes lately, so that’s good. The Sam and Lena stuff is getting very interesting, and I know I said this last week but everything Lena is doing is so VERY Luthor, not even in an evil way, but like Lex would do very similar things on Smallville long before he turned evil and back when he was actually a good guy. It’s just very in tune with how their family handles things. I feel so bad for Sam. she’s in such a hard position of course, and I feel like one way or another this season is gonna end in heartbreak. The Supergirl and Imra stuff I was kinda meh on, mostly because I don’t fully agree with Kara’s no kill policy, like if you can avoid it sure but it’s not always going to be avoidable and I could definitely see where Imra was coming on this one. Mon-El was meh, but what else is new. But yeah, overall not bad. I went straight into watching The Resident afterwards, which churned out another excellent episode. ah, it was all just so good with them dealing with their colleague who was suddenly in a dire state, and how they worked so hard to find the actual best way to save him. I totally loved the subplot with Mina and the new doctor, I love Mina so fucking much haha she’s totally brilliant and she knows it and I LOVE HER SO MUCH. That plot was pure hilarity, I very much hope the doctor guy chooses to stick around. All of the stuff with Nic was getting pretty creepy, but we’ve known that was the direction they were heading in since they’re up to some super sketchy stuff. The whole grocery confrontation thing was.....weird, very weird, but I guess it served its purpose of being creepy. After that I tried to get my roommate’s apple tv to work so I could watch Westworld, but it was not cooperating, so I decided to frost the cupcakes instead. I had gotten an icing bag a while back I wanted to try using, but it was being uncooperative and not letting me actually get the icing to the tip of it and I eventually just gave up and iced one cupcake by hand and figured I’d get to the rest of them when I actually want to eat them. So I ate the cupcake and some frosting out of the can because that shit’s good. I didn't want to jump into a long GoT episode, so I watched more of A Series of Unfortunate Events just as a filler show even though it hasn’t been my favorite lately. I think it somewhat has to deal with me not liking Neil Patrick Harris in this role?? Like I’ve always liked him before this but in this show he just kinda grates on me, and not in the way that like a good villain was, he just feels kind of ridiculous to me, even in a show that contains a lot of ridiculousness, it’s just not working for me. I do love the kids of course, they’re brilliant and lovely and even though I know this is the entire premise of the show I feel myself growing increasing frustrated that they still don’t have a safe place to live, which again I KNOW is the point of the show, but like, it’s getting old for me. So we’ll see how much longer I end up sticking with the show. After an episode of that I started to get ready for bed and now I’m here. Tomorrow I have an “evaluation” appointment with a new PT guy at a new PT place (it’s the same company as my old one, and it’s not even very far apart, they’re literally referred to as the [neighborhood name] North and [neighborhood name] South clinics, so it’s not that big of a change really. I’m getting moved to this one because they apparently have a person trained in the type of PT the doctor wanted me to try, so I guess we’ll see what comes of this. I should be doing better with my home exercises, so maybe this will help motivate me with that. and yeah, other than that I’ll hopefully get a civil rights outline and prep the rest of my stuff for the final on Wednesday, should be good. Alright, that’s all for now. Goodnight peeps. Stay chill.

[tialovestelevision]

Heartthrob

Moving into Angel season 3. Buffy status: Still dead.

1. Hyperion. Fred is wearing Earth clothes, and poking her head out. Cordy doesn’t understand demon worshippers, and Gunn agrees, especially when the demon stinks to high heaven. It makes Wes sad. They have to be a little obsessed. But they’re not sad. Gunn’s line came out sad and wrong. Nobody’s talked to Fred. She’s been in her room for three months. Cordy misses Pylea. Gunn says Fred’s strong; Cordy says she’s traded one cave for another. Angel is still gone, grieving for Buffy. Cordy doesn’t want anyone saying the B word. Angel’s in a monastery in Sri Lanka. Gunn thinks he should have gotten drunk and gone to Vegas. Wes thinks he needs peace and quiet.

2. Angel  is fighting monks. He’s been cut up a bit and they’re very determined with the violence. He threw a monk through the railing. Apparently, the monks are demons. And Angel speaks Tibetan. Huh. He should have gone to Vegas. Opening credits. Hey, it’s Fred!

3. Hyperion. Huh, Julie Benz is in this one. They’re setting a mousetrap, but nobody wants to actually set the trap because they’re all scared of rats. Angel just came in through the basement and Cordy is hugging him. So is Wes. And Gunn. I love the friendships here. The monks were life-sucking demons. Cordy got a tiny tiny human head. No, Gunn got a tiny tiny human head. Cordy got a necklace. Wes got a very old knife. He can’t wait to kill something with it. Angel asks how Fred’s doing. Cordy is sending Fred tacos. Angel’s going to check on Fred then get brought up to date. He’s happy to see them. Cordy thinks something’s wrong.

4. Fred’s room is covered in prose and poetry and math. She doesn’t want visitors, except for Angel, who she does want to see. Huh… Fred’s room is a home, so Angel needs an invitation. Fred likes that the universe has rules. Fred is relieved that Angel is sticking around. Angel is reading the wall. Fred is listening for the click when it all comes together and makes sense and you can understand things again. She doesn’t know what happens if she runs out of wall before the click. Angel’s inviting her out of her room. She has a treatise on time. Angel tells her she doesn’t have to write everything down. She needs to take some small steps. He invites her to hang with the others. He says Fred’s safe in the hotel, then Cordy screams. She’s having a really bad vision. It’s leaving her twitching. A bunch of vampires crashing a party and killing people at Wilson College. Room 918. They’re going to take hostages, and there’s a blonde who’s particularly bad. The others rush off to deal with the vision, and Cordy collapses in tears.

5. Wilson College. There are a lot of corpses. Wes is calling ambulances. The vampires are going east. Wes and Gunn are in the car, Angel’s on foot. The vampires have two humans; one is asking them not to hurt the other. The blonde vampire is asking which of them he wants her to kill. He says to kill his girlfriend instead of him… then Angel falls on the car. Starts fighting the vampires. Wes and Gunn attack from Angel’s car. Wes has staked two. The blonde gets staked by Angel. She says, “Angelus?” before she falls. She had a locket on. Bad news here.

6. Cordy is in a bathroom. Her bathroom. Dennis is turning on lights.Cordy has a lot of prescription pills. Dennis is running her a hot bath. She’s taking some pills. “These visions are killing me.” Cordy is going to take a bath. Dennis offers her her loofah. No… he’s scrubbing her back. Her phone is ringing.

7. Marseilles, 1767. A fire wagon is rolling past. Darla and Angelus are with some other vampires. I think the woman is the blonde? The other vampires are being far too romantic. Angelus says they have a ship to catch - Holtz is after them. Angelus doesn’t want clues left for Holtz. Holtz has killed scores of vampires. This is after Holtz cornered them in the barn… being abandoned there by Darla didn’t reduce Angelus’s affection for her. Angelus: “Can you even begin to fathom the things we did? Of course not. You’re in love.” James the vampire steals the locket the blonde was wearing when Angel staked her from a store and gives it to the blonde. Here come the guards. James and Angelus are going to fight the guards. And there are horses… the guards are not afraid of them. Here comes Holtz. He has a jaunty hat.

8. Cordy is convinced James is still around and going to come after them. She’s right. There he is. And he’s being approached by another vampire. And he knows it was Angel. James is killing the other vampire. Threw him into the sunlight.

9. Hyperion. Angel is talking to Cordy. Cordy has nothing to say. Cordy says it’s none of her business. Angel doesn’t feel guilty for the blonde’s death. Cordy is talking about Buffy. This is going to be one of those talks where she does all the talking. She wants to know what happened with Holtz.

10. Holtz is asking where “she” is. Apparently, Angelus and Darla killed Holtz’s family. Holtz beats Angel a bit. Holtz says he can keep Angelus alive for months or years. Angelus sells out both James and the women, and James flipping out makes enough of a commotion for them both to escape. Angelus rides into an alley, then James pushes him off the horse. He has numerous arrows in him. Elisabeth was the blonde’s name. Angelus says for James to buy Darla a hat. He’s pulling arrows out of himself.

11. James goes to a doctor. Who is sloughing. He removes his face every month. James needs It. The cure. The cure has a steep price. James says he’s paid the price. Sandy is preparing James for the cure. They’re doing surgery. Cutting at his chest.

12. The Host is singing a song. It’s happy hour, and he’s remodeled the club. Wes and Gunn are there, waiting for a contact. A demon tells them that’s real music. The crowd is very old. It’s Merl who they’re waiting for. Merl is trying to hold them for more money, but Wes outplays him. Merl says James knows what Angel did. Wes and Gunn are going to try to track James, and Angel is sending Cordy home but she won’t go. She moved his hurling axe into the cellar. And James is in the basement. He’s… fast. He’s beating Angel up pretty badly. Fred comes out of her room. Angel sends Fred back to her room. James is still fighting Angel. Gunn and Wes are talking to Merl… Merl says James went to Dr. Gregsonn’s, who is a demon doctor. He collects body parts. The others are calling the hotel now to tell Angel about that, but he’s fighting James. Cordy tries to distract James but he throws Cordy across the room. Angel stakes James… but James stands up and takes the stake out. The wound closes. Now James has a stake.

13. More fight. Angel kicks James into the sunlight. He’s not on fire. Angel and Cordy are running. Cordy has to leave her coat. James is after them in the sewers. Angel leaves a blood trail a bit the wrong way before they get back together They’re trying to figure out how James got invincible. Cordy’s phone rings. Wes gets in touch with them via cell phone. The doctor cut James’s heart out, but he’ll only live for six somethings. Six hours or days or weeks… they don’t know which. And James just found them. Angel and Cordy are running away again. They're in the subway now, trying to get to a train. They get in one, and it starts to drive away. James looks upset but then grabs the back of the train. Angel knows he’s there. And he comes in the window. James is surprised that Angel cares about people, so he’s going to kill Cordy. Angel says he can’t. “The woman I love is dead.” James doesn’t think it’s possible to love someone and live on without them. James just grabbed a subway seat and is attacking Angel with it; Angel tripped James up with a crutch and pins him to the wall. James falls down. He doesn’t look too great. “I lived. You just existed.” Then he dusts.

14. Fred’s in her room again and afraid to come out. Angel’s not okay. Angel says he is okay. The problem is that he’s okay. That he can deal with it. Cordy points out to him that people survive and move on and keep going after their loved ones die and that’s good. “I’m Cordelia. I don’t think. I know. Okay?” They’re going back to work. They have to go kill nester demons.

15. Puerto Cabazas, Nicaragua. A shady bar. Big guy comes in, says he’s sorry it took so long because the shaman was hard to find. He wants to have a drink with Darla. He says he’s a very nice man. She has a surprise or two in her, and eats the guy. “Life’s full of surprises.” And she’s pregnant. Episode end.

Overall: That was… okay? It finally says out loud that obsession isn’t love, which is something that’s been in the undercurrent of the show for quite some time but wasn’t ever outright said that I can recall before this, and that did some harm to a lot of its stories about the two ideas, especially where Spike is concerned. The action scenes were fun. James’s moment of death felt a little too convenient, but not in a terribly glaring way. I did rather detest him. The demon doctor removing a vampire’s heart was a cool idea. Fred’s scenes were good.

Not much to say on this one other than that. Oh, Darla’s pregnancy? More thoughts on that story once there’s a story instead of a plot twist to talk about.