#but it's the way people immediately jump to conclusions is CRAZY

[bandzboy]

i could make an essay about how people immediately perceive introvert idols who don't talk or interact that much as rude or cold bc i've seen it happen so many times and as someone who is introverted i get annoyed bc i know first hand what that is 😭

[uncanny-tranny]

Me in 2016: You know, saying things like "trans rights are human rights" doesn't necessarily mean that person is safe around trans people. In fact, sometimes people still have unchecked bias against trans people, and that can be clouded by them saying that trans rights are human rights. It can prevent them from fully looking into their own preconceptions about cissexism and trans people.

Me in 2023: Oh, thank gd this person said "trans rights are human rights," I was worried they also abhorred trans people

[nights-legacy]

M'not Avoiding Him ~ Tsu'tey x reader

Main Masterlist ~ Avatar Masterlist

3350 words Warnings: vague mentions of injury + The Omaticaya begin recovering and rebuilding after the sky people left under the guidance of their new Olo'eyktan, Tsu'tey. Jake and you had gone through the transfer ceremony, you both start finding your place in the clan. You thought yours was going to be next to Tsu'tey because of how close you two had gotten close but that changed when you catch him with another woman.

It took a while for things to settle down after the great war and the Battle of the Hallelujah Mountains. The Omaticaya had to find a new home, the other clans returning to theirs, and the full transition to the new Olo'eyktan. Tsu'tey was taking the new position with stride. Not only because he had been training for this but also he had the help and support of Moat, Neytiri, Jake, and I.

Over that time and after Jake and I were permanently transferred to our Navi bodies With much reluctance, Tsu'tey had become accepting of us. He and Jake of course still butt heads but that will never change. Tsu'tey and I however grew closer. He seemed to really enjoy my company.

"Thank you, Ninat. I'll make sure Tsu'tey gets this." I held the bag of items that she asked me to deliver. I walked through the newly constructed village. It was nice to see the people getting back to their normal way of life. I made it to the Olo'eyktan's meeting marui. When I noticed a meeting going on inside, I walked over to a nearby branch and lounged on it.

"Hey Y/N!" I looked up and saw Jake walking my way. Behind him, many others exited the marui.

"Hi Jake. Meeting over?"

"Yeah. You could have come in. I doubt Tsu'tey would have said anything." He leant against the tree. I shrugged. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Tsu'tey asked Ninat for something. I'm delivering them for her." I said, motioning to the bag.

"Well, you can go on in. I got to meet Norm. Bye." He waved as he ran off. I got up and walked towards the entrance to the hut. I paused when I saw Tsu'tey and sighed. He was picking up a few things that were scattered. He then stood up straight and looked over something. From here it looked like a child's drawing. A rare soft smile came across his face. I smiled as a warm feeling came over me. It was crazy how small things can fill my heart.

"Cute." I mumbled. I was about to step forward when I saw a woman come into view. Tsu'tey's smile disappeared as he turned towards her. I couldn't see his face anymore. 

I couldn't hear them but I could tell by the woman's body language and facial expression that she was flirting. I watched silently as she got more and more friendly. Tsu'tey didn't seem to react much. I felt my heart constrict at the sight. When she stepped in even closer, I immediately turned away when she went to wrap her arms around him.

"Nope, nope, nope." I walk back down the path a bit. I took a big breath to calm myself down. "You don't know what was going on. It could be nothing. Don't jump to conclusions." I talked myself down while clutching the bag to my chest. Once calmed down, I slowly walk back up and towards the hut. To avoid seeing them like that again, I call out Tsu'tey's name.

"In here. Come in, eylan." He answered before I heard him quietly speak to the woman. I heard something along the lines of 'you need to go.' I walked in and the woman walked past me in a huff. "How can I help you, eylan?" He looked up at the time.

"I have the things from Ninat you asked for." I took the bag off my shoulder. He reached out and took it from me, his hand brushing over mine.

"Thank you." He smiled and turned to set the bag aside. "I didn't see you at the meeting. Was something wrong?"

"No I was just getting back from an evening flight and Mo’at asked for help then Ninat caught me."

"Oh, very well. I'm glad there wasn't anything wrong." He said sincerely. I nod and look away from him. I kept seeing the other woman hanging off him. "Is something the matter?"

"No, I'm just hungry."

"Oh, well." He grabbed the bag. "Let us head to dinner." 

"Okay."

After that evening, I sorta avoided Tsu'tey. I had started to notice the woman around him more. I decided to keep my distance. The things I normally help Tsu'tey with, I made excuses to not do. Everytime I could see the confusion on his face but he never said anything. But Neytiri did.

"Why?" She said out of the blue as she and Jake sat down next to me.

"Hmm?" I looked up at her. "Why what?"

"Why are you avoiding Tsu'tey?" Jake asked.

"M’not avoiding him. I've just been busy and can't help him like I normally do."

"Uh huh. Yeah." Jake said almost sarcastically. The looks they were both giving me told me they didn't believe me. I signed and looked back at my snack. I spaced out a little until Jake snapped to get my attention.

"It's really nothing guys. I swear." I got up. I brushed off my lap. "Don't worry about it." I walked away. I didn't mention that I had noticed Tsu'tey nearby.

I groaned as I walked towards Tsutey's hut. Mo’at had asked me to go ask him to come see her. She couldn't go see him herself because she was extremely busy. I couldn't say no to her and I had a feeling Jake or Neytiri had something to do with this.

"Sneaky little shits." I mumbled as I climbed up the tree to his home. I made it up and stepped in. Normally Tsu'tey never has anyone in his home. This time I was wrong. I gasped when I saw the woman wrapped Tsu'tey. He was backed up against the wall with his hands on her waist. Both of their eyes shot towards me.

"Y/N..." Tsu’tey's face twisted as he pushed her away. "Please listen. I..." I didn't let him finish before running out. I jumped and climbed down from the tree. I took off running in a random direction. I could feel my heart break as I ran.

Tsu'tey was following. and calling for me to stop. I didn't listen, I couldn't. If there was one thing I was grateful for Neytiri teaching me at this moment, it was how to run and disappear into the trees. I could hear him getting closer and I moved faster. Silently, I slip behind a boulder near a cliff edge and stay still.

"Y/N!" Tsu'tey came into the clearing and slowed to a stop. I could hear him turn in circles, looking around for me. "Y/N! Please! If you can hear me, it wasn't what you think. That woman does not mean anything to my heart."

"hmm?" I made a small sound of confusion before covering my mouth.

"I don't have any feelings for her! What you saw in my home, I did not return. She has no respect for boundaries no matter how many times I have refused her advances. My heart only and ever will belong... to you." He said quietly but I could hear it. If this were a human male, I would call bullshit. But with Navi men, most don't believe in playing around. 

"Tsu'tey..." My heart told me to go to him but my head was too overwhelmed, too confused.

"Ga!" He yelled in frustration. I heard the sound of flesh against a tree so I assumed he had hit one. Too overwhelmed and still in doubt by the whole thing, I stepped back to sneak away. I didn't get too far before I felt the ground give way under my feet.

"Ah!" I screamed as I fell. I tried to grab onto something but came up with nothing.

"Y/N!" Tsutey's panicked voice was the last thing I heard before pain exploded in my body before I was knocked out.

3rd POV

Tsu'tey ran over to the cliff and saw Y/N unconscious at the bottom. He let out a cry before descending down to then. With shaky hands he checked them over to assess the situation. When Y/N didn't look in danger of fatality, he relaxed a bit. He closed his eyes and took a centering breaker.

"Oh Eywa..." He muttered before carefully picking them up. Before anything else, he ran for Mo’at's hut. "Mo’at!"

"Dear Eywa!" She jumped and nearly dropped the bowl of oitment she was holding, spooked. She looked at him annoyed before seeing Y/N in their state. She motioned to a mat. "Lay them down."

"Yes." He quickly and gently laid them down. Mo’at immediately began attending to them. "A cliff gave way under her feet."

"I see." She nodded. She worked quickly and efficiently. Tsu'tey sat on the side, never leaving and never looking away. He kept vigilance over Y/N even after Mo’at had finished and stepped out.

Y/N's POV

The feeling of someone running their fingers through my hair woke me up. I groaned softly and their fingers paused for only a minute before continuing. I opened my eyes and looked up at the blurry figure above me. When my vision cleared, I realized it was Neytiri and my head was in her lap.

"Neytiri..." I sighed. "What happened?"

"A cliff's edge gave way under your feet." She explained. "Tsu'tey found and brought you to my  Mother immediately."

"Oh, Okay. Yeah, I remember that now." I muttered as the ache in my body made itself known.

"You know... He hasn't left your side since." I looked up at her confused. She motioned to the side with her head. I looked and saw Tsu'tey asleep against the wall next to me.

"Oh..." I felt my heart swell.

"There is nothing between them, eylan." I looked up at her. "Tsu'tey and Lulon."

"There isn't? Nothing at all?" I sat up too quickly. She steadied me.

"No. Much to her displeasure." I gave her a questioning look and she chuckled softly. "Lulon has been trying to pursue Tsu'tey ever since they both were able to take mates. She was relentless with it, even though Tsu'tey did not return her advances. She tried even when he was to be mated with Sylwanin and then myself. She didn't care nor listen to reason. She only halted her advances when the fight with the sky people got worse."

"Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. She nodded. "She's a bitch."

"I have to agree." She laughed. "Tsu'tey was always cordeil in his denial of her. I think she thought she had a chance now since he was not promised to anyone. What she didn't count on was his heart already belonging to someone else." She smirked before getting up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get Mother. So she can check to make sure you are alright now that you're awake." I nodded and she left. I turned to look at the sleeping Tsu'tey. He must have been exhausted if Neytiri and mine's talking didn't wake him up. I admired him, my head falling to the side like a puppy’s.

"What am I going to do with you?" I whispered as I moved a braid out of his face. I giggled as his nose scrunched but he didn’t wake. It faded away when I noticed his bruised and bloody hand. From the looks of it, that's the hand he hit the tree with before I fell. I scooted closer and gently shook him. I softly called his name, trying to wake him up.

"Hmph." He jolted awake, hand coming up to grab my wrist. He blinked a few times before he seemed to fully come to.

"Hey there sleepy head." I giggled softly. He became alert immediately, grabbing me gently by the arms.

"Y/N! Are you alright? Are you in pain? I'll go get Mo’at. I'll..."

"Hey, hey. Calm down." I interrupted his rambling, setting my hands on his chest. "I'm fine. I do have some aches. Neytiri already left to get Mo’at."

"Neytiri?"

"Yes. She was in here sitting with me while you slept." He relaxed.

"How long have you been awake?" 

"Only a short bit. Long enough for Neytiri to tell me about Lulon and her actions." He sighed and let his head fall back.

"I see." He nodded before swallowing a little hard and licking his bottom lip. I looked at him confused.

"What is it, Tsu'tey?" 

"Did you hear me? Yesterday? Before you fell." He asked almost nervously as his eyes met mine. I smiled and cupped his cheek.

"Yes. I did." He looked down. I can see the curiosity and nervousness swimming in his eyes even as he wasn’t looking directly at me. "And my response is that I feel the same. My heart only belongs to you."

"Y/N." The rare, energetic smile I love came across his face as he looked up at me. He gathered me in his arms and hugged me right. I giggled and hugged him back. "Oh, yawne. You've made me the happiest man alive. You will not regret this I promise."

"I know. I know I made the right choice in my mate." I placed my hand over his heart. "I see you, Tsu'tey te Rongloa Ateyitan. " He set his hand over mine and set his forehead against mine.

"And I see you, Y/N L/N." We sat in each other's embrace for a little bit before a small knock filled the air. We both looked to see Mo’at in the opening to the hut with a small smile.

"I hope I am not interpreting."

"No. Come in. This is your space after all." Tsu'tey waved her in. She came in and I pulled away reluctantly to let her check me over. It was quiet for the moment. She deemed me okay and to take it easy. I nodded and she asked, "So, do I need to begin Tsahik training?"

"Oh um..." I blushed and looked at Tsu'tey for help.

"In time, Mo’at. For now, let us spend time together and become One. There is time for that later. I know from personal experience that Y/N is a quick study." He took my hand and kissed my palm. I could see Mo’at hiding a smile in my peripheral vision.

"Of course." She finished up before looking at us. "I am happy for you both.Truly. Eywa has blessed you both."

"Thank you Mo'at." I said before giving the seeing gesture. She returned before giving Tsu'tey a hard look.

"Now sit. Let me see that hand of yours you refuse to let me look at in all your worrying." She    pointed at the mat. I giggled as his ears fell back like a scolded child. He gave me a half hearted pointed Look and I covered my mouth still giggling.

"Yes Tsahik." He moved over and gave her his injured hand. I moved to sit on my knees behind him. I kissed his shoulder before setting my chin there, resting my body against his back and loosely Wrapping an arm around him. He froze up for only a second before relaxing into me, holding his free arm over mine. 

"They're cute." I heard a muffled Jake say from somewhere outside.

"Jake!" Neytiri hissing and a loud smack followed. I chuckled and Mo’at rolled her eyes.

"Just like children ..." She muttered.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Jake!" Another smack sound.

"Ow! Damn!" Jake fell into the doorway of the hut. I saw him glare at someone who I suspected was Neytiri before looking at us. He smiled sheepishly with a little wave. "Hiya."

"Skxawng" Tsu'tey muttered before turning to nose at my cheek. I smiled wrapped my other arm around his shoulders. 

"I was rooting for you two from the very beginning." He sat up before moving onto a knee.

"Jake..." I chuckled and shook my head. He smiled cheekily before he was grabbed by his kuru. I saw Neytiri lean into view and smile.

"Congratulations." She bowed her head with an I see you before pulling on Jake's kuru.

"GA! Okay okay. I'm coming." Jake flailed a bit as she pulled him back. He stumbled to his feet and disappeared from sight. I heard Mo’at grumble.

“Just like a child.” She shook her head as she finished Tsu’tey’s hand. She stood up and grabbed a leaf wrap to cover the wounds. “There you are. Now let it heal before doing anything too stressful on that hand. I trust you can keep him in check, Y/N.”

“Of course Tsahik.” I stood up and so did Tsu’tey. Bidding goodbye to Mo’at, we walked out of the marui. We walked through the trees in silence. Tsu’tey reached out and set his hand on my hip, pulling me closer to him. 

“Yawne. I cannot express how happy you’ve made me feel.”

“I think I know a way.” I said while stopping. He stopped and turned to look at me. He gave me a questioning look as I felt his hand spread out on my hip. 

“How Yawne?” He asked.

“Like this.” I reached up and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down into a passionate kiss. He froze up for a second before kissing me back. His arms wrapped around me. One around my waist while the other wrapped around my mid-back and he reached up to cup the back of my head as the kiss deepened. 

“I see what you mean, Yawne.” He says as he pulls back. We were both panting slightly. He ducked down to kiss me again. I smiled into the kiss and deepened the kiss. Tsu’tey pushed me back a little and I felt the bark of a tree against my back. We made out for a few minutes against the tree until an exaggerated gasp interrupted us. We both pulled away to see Lulon standing there. 

“What is this?!” She nearly screeched. 

“This is a kiss between lovers. I am aware that the concept of lovers is foreign to you but I would appreciate it if you stop bothering Tsu’tey with your obsessive crush. He has let you down nicely so I am here to tell you bluntly. He does not feel the same nor has he ever felt the same.” I said. She looked at me offended while I could feel Tsu’tey looking at me in surprise. 

“I cannot believe…” She started.

“Believe it. If you bother my future mate again, we will have problems. You should have respected it when you Ole’eyktan when he turned you down.” I said. She paled a little and looked between us. She nodded and quickly disappeared into the trees.

“Future mate?” I blushed heavily at the suggestive tone of Tsu’tey’s voice. I turned and hit his chest.

“Shut up.” I muttered. He laughed wholeheartedly and I admired the rare sight. He slowly stopped and smiled down at me. 

“Well as your future mate, I appreciate getting Lulon to leave me alone…finally. Do you know how long I have tried to deter her? She doesn’t know boundaries.” He began to rant. I watched, chucking a bit. He paused when he heard me chuckle.

“Jake has rubbed off on you a little bit.” I said. His nose scrunched up a bit with disgust before his shoulders dropped.

“Maybe a small amount.” He said. I smiled and grabbed his hand. 

“Come on. I think we both need some more rest.”

“I agree.” He pulls me along a trail. We walked for a while before he guided me to a secluded small pond. On the side of the pond was mat and some baskets. “This is a spot where I come to be alone or clear my head. I want to share this spot with you.”

“Thank you, Tsu’tey.” He went over and sat on the mat, beckoning me over. I go over and sit next to him. I feel his tail wrap around my hips and he lays down. 

“Come, lay down.” He gently urges. 

“The tough warrior, acting so gentle right now.” I tease before laying down and settling down next to him. He shook his hand before he took my hand and let out a breath of content. 

“Let Ewya bless us with a wonderous life.” He said softly before kissing my hand. The sounds of the wildlife and gentle breeze around us seemed to promise just that.

[blueberrymocha]

Hi ! I saw that u already made hxh headcanons on a reader who's always cold, could you do then headcanons of the main 4 (hxh) with a reader who is actually always really nice and sweet, friendly and polite? But gets absolutely feral and relentless when someone is rude or hurts their loved ones??

Ty ahead and have great day 💗💗💗

main 4 with a reader who goes feral when someone hurts their loved one

gon

✰ he adores how kind and sweet you usually are

✰ while he can get along with virtually anyone, he prefers friendlier people like you

✰ and he’d probably also rely on you to keep him in check and be the calmer one

✰ so when someone makes a rude comment towards him, he definitely doesn’t expect you to jump to his defense

✰ and if you got physical with someone, he’s even more shocked

✰ his biggest concern is stopping the disagreement, he just doesn’t want to watch you get hurt over something trivial

✰ so as much as he loves you defending him, he’ll tell you it’s not worth the trouble and to let it go

✰ don’t get me wrong though, he’s quite happy that you’re willing to do that for him in the first place

“i’m so lucky to have you by my side… but seriously where did that come from!?”

killua

✰ he finds this pretty intriguing

✰ because under normal circumstances, you’d never result to aggression/violence

✰ and yet when he’s involved… you immediately drop those hesitations to stand up for him

✰ now at first, he might jump to the conclusion that you think of him as weak

✰ so while he bandages a cut you got in the fight, he’ll bring it up

“idiot… why’d you have to get hurt for me anyway? i could’ve dealt with it on my own.”

✰ but once you explain things, he realizes he was overthinking it

✰ and when he does, he becomes the biggest cheerleader

“yeah! beat his ass y/n!”

✰ to be honest, it reminds him a lot of gon

✰ which would make him love it even more

✰ however, if you go too feral, he’ll probably get you to stop

✰ because at the end of the day, whatever the person did didn’t even matter to him

kurapika

✰ he himself would be more protective over someone sweet and kind

✰ the world can be very harsh and someone who’s polite to everyone would come across as naive to him

✰ which is also why he’s the most surprised of all when you get defensive

✰ you going crazy on someone for insulting him is just completely out of character in his mind

✰ that being said, if you can handle it yourself, he won’t stop you

✰ after all he’s the exact same way

✰ not to mention he’s honored you’d do so much for his sake

✰ if it got out of hand, he’d just tell you to lay off

✰ and once the two of you were alone, he’d make it clear he thought your actions were justified

✰ although, if something similar happened in the future, he’d remind you not to engage and try to cool you down

✰ mainly because he’d prefer you don’t get into any fights at all

leorio

✰ you’re giving him whiplash

✰ like he can’t understand how someone as sweet as you could switch up so quickly

✰ we all know that he’s no stranger to getting into arguments

✰ so if you’re merely defending him with words, he’s got no problem

✰ if you started fighting the person, he’s conflicted

✰ cause part of him is like

“punch him harder!”

✰ but his rational side will probably break up the fight

✰ if you ended up getting injured for him, he’s really flattered

✰ and of course he takes care of every injury

✰ but also “don’t do that ever again”

[gaoau]

would rather kms than make my only winbre post be about Suo's stupid ass, so it's time to talk about Nirei cause i love him. i read a post and my blood started boiling i dont fuck around so now i gotta defend him with my life. also cause im sick and tired of him not being deemed marketable enough to be included in merch and collab illusts when he's a whole—if not the most important—third of the main trio. (theres something to be said about Tsugeura too, considering they don't use him but love using Kiryuu, but that's a different conversation.)

anyway, on Nirei and the exceptionality of being ordinary.

manga spoilers btw also disclaimer im not eloquent at all i just say things.

there's something about Nirei that just simply isn't special and i think that's wonderful. not in a mean-spirited sense; Nirei is the most regular out of anyone in Furin, so much so that he had to buy an ugly shirt he didn't even like to stand out. he's just a kid with a notebook and a simple backstory trying to follow a hero's example. he's nothing extraordinary, especially seeing the people he's surrounded by. physically, he's very limited, which he knows and doesn't ignore at all, so he can't do much in fights. no one is more acutely aware of his own limits than Nirei. i was reading the first couple chapters again and it breaks my heart to hear his efforts be dismissed as "playing hero," because Nirei is the biggest hero in this whole manga.

it's true, yeah, he can't fight. he's more like another average citizen of Makochi than he is a Bofurin member sometimes. he lacks fighting abilities, his diplomacy isn't particularly the best, and he's two seconds away from going into cardiac arrest at almost all times. but it's not like he gives a shit. every single time he gets beaten into the ground, he picks himself back up immediately. he takes hit after hit, time and time again, because no matter how battered or defenseless he is, his drive to stay and protect the town is ridiculously strong. he does go down when he can't take any more (keel), but it's with improvement and training that he manages to throw his first—albeit useless—punch (noroshi or whatever this arc is called idk). improvement that, mind you, comes from recognizing his own limitations.

some have called him reckless (Suo), but i disagree, because Nirei is right. i know the kids would rather look out for him and have him uninjured by the end of a scuffle, but he doesn't need to be coddled. everybody else jumps into a brawl and gets a broken nose regardless of their fighting skills. Nirei isn't any different. he knows he's limited, he knows he can't fight, he knows he's nothing special. he risks it all anyway, because even though he wasn't built for fighting, he's more than prepared to try over and over again until his efforts are enough to make a difference. he's looked at Sakura's back and thought he couldn't match him, that Sakura gets back up even when he's almost fully tapped out, that he's not needed because Sakura's stronger and will be okay without him.

maybe he's right about this, too. i'm inclined to disagree, but i understand where he's coming from. Nirei chases, Nirei can't stop running because he'll fall behind all these phenomenal beasts that can hold their own. i'm so glad the conclusion he reached was "okay, i gotta step up my game," but i'm not really surprised. this is Nirei Akihiko we're talking about and, i think Suo put it best, he wants to become stronger more than anybody.

he's been at a disadvantage this whole time, "playing hero" rather than being an "actual" hero, but he has a goal. if he has to tear himself apart to stand next to Sakura, he will. he doesn't have to, of course, he's already more than useful the way he is, but when you're so ordinary that you get lost in the crowd, standing beside someone so exemplary makes you want more.

honestly, Nirei's fucking wild. lil bro's actually crazy. we've seen characters go apeshit, but no one in this entire manga is nearly as insane as he is. i appreciate Suo telling him to slow down and chill out, cause he was fully intending to kill himself learning how to fight with zero foundation. my guy was more than ready to actually fight Endo. he meant that. it's a good thing he's properly learning how to defend himself, considering he probably lacks the muscle to go on the offense. those are his limits and he knows that. it frustrates him, but it definitely does little to stop him, because look how big his back is. i hope somebody tells him, after all of this is over, that he's doing more than enough, more than great.

to be fair, fighting isn't even where he shines, and that's okay. he's not strong enough to beat anyone's ass and he doesn't need to be, either. he doesn't need to be a leader like Sakura or a devotee like Sugishita or mimic whatever the fuck Suo's got going on. in the words of my favorite pink curse, the real heroes are the ones who support from the back, and that's exactly what Nirei does. he's said it himself, he wants to guide Sakura all the way to the top and he can, because he thrives in being another citizen of Makochi. he's a regular person and i think that's what makes him so compelling and important.

there's something so fascinating about his simplicity. he really is nothing more than just an ordinary kid. put him in a normal high-school classroom and he'll pass his midterms with a 75. he recognizes what he's good at, of course, he knows the town inside out and it's very useful, especially to Sakura. he's amazing support. it really doesn't seem like it and people love to completely dismiss him, but i wanna be outrageous and call him the backbone of these kids. he was Sakura's first friend and he continues to be the one pushing and prodding to make sure he stands back up every single time. he's more necessary than anyone gives him credit for. i have no doubt in my mind that, if it weren't for him, Sakura wouldn't be able to do half the things he's managing. even Suo, who's out here acting like he knows the secrets of the universe, has to stop and reorganize his ideas when Nirei talks.

if Suo is the heart (debatable, but okay, whatever bro says) and brain, i'd like to think Nirei is the spirit and the soul. there's no chance the kids would work so smoothly without Nirei around—which, yes, arguably the same could be said of all of them, but i've seen Nirei be dismissed as a Zenitsu looking ass gag character and i've never had to hold back a kys so hard. idk for sure what the general consensus on him is cause i've only ever seen him used in the context of ships and never on his own, which honestly makes me a little sad. especially after seeing the popularity poll cause he didn't even make it into the top 5 with not even 1k points personal offense tbh i need a word with the voters. what i've gathered is that aint nobody gaf about his ass im devastated Suo has to fuck off (13k votes is crazy gang come on). which i don't understand. take him out of the equation and everything falls apart. Sakura's the sword, Suo's the strategy, and Nirei is the ambition, the desire, the force, the feelings.

there's much to be said about how he's treated, not only in-universe, but also by the people consuming the media and the pr team. i don't fuck with shipping, but when i'm scrolling through my timeline, Nirei only exists in the context of somebody's favorite ship. and don't fucking get me started on the mischaracterization. look me in the eye and tell me Nirei doesn't have more conviction than any of these dumbass kids. yes, he gets scared and he's fucking horrified most of the time, but motherfucker he's fighting. he's out there in the frontlines, making himself useful, biting more than he can chew and then some. i dare you to treat him like wittle baby that needs protection.

if not for his uniqueness, look at him for his regularity, because i find it endearingly wonderful. i think there's something so special about the ordinary. he deserves a lot more than what he's getting so these mfs better put him in all collab illusts cause if i have to see Kaji in his place one more time i will personally book a flight. okay thank you thats all i promise ill never come back here have day.

[ilguna]

☼ lovestruck, lovesick, lovelorn pt3 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; it turns out finnick has a lot of pent up thoughts that he’s having a hard time showing properly. at first, it seems like he can’t get enough time with you, then he begins to retreat back to his original demeanor, the one you know the best.

warnings; swearing, death mention, torture and strangulation mention, prostitution mention.

wc; 4.5k

notes; highly requested!!

part one, part two.

--

While District Thirteen seemed to be perfect by the way it was described to you, it has got to be one of the more frustrating places you’ve had the displeasure of visiting. You understand their concept of total equality to ensure fairness, but with it being taken to this extreme—you’re being driven up a wall.

To start, there’s no such thing as individuality, it’s basically a crime to suggest it. And it’s becoming a difficult pill to swallow with each rejection. You come from a Career district, one that’s known for its diversity. As you were growing up, especially in your teenage years, you were taught how to stick out just enough to make heads turn.

You’ve been using it to your advantage for years now, mainly in the Capitol. You tend to tone it down at home, because there’s no reason to stir the pot and draw attention to yourself when you’d like peace and quiet. It’s almost crazy how quick people jump to conclusions when there’s nothing going on.

It’s almost the same here. With how secluded Thirteen is from the rest of the world, all it took was you and the three other victors arriving for conversation to begin. You can’t remember how many times you were stopped your first time out of the hospital by curious minds.

Anyway, in Thirteen, you’re not allowed to wear anything besides the grey jumpsuit they’ve provided. Unless, of course, you’re a patient in their hospital. Then, you get to wear one of their itchy white gowns you also can’t take off. It took hours of begging the nursing staff for them to finally relent on the rule. And the best they could do for you was the jumpsuit. 

At this point, you’d give anything for a simple outfit. As well as a meal that isn’t pre-portioned based on your age, height, weight and muscle mass. There’s been countless times where you’ve asked Greasy Sae to give you a bigger portion on your tray, only to be told that what you have is what you get.

It doesn’t matter who you talk to, everyone refuses to believe you when you tell them you’re still hungry. They’re so set on trying to take away free will, they forget you’re not used to living this way. It’s not normal to have your entire day’s schedule printed on your forearm for you to follow by the hour. It’s weird.

They didn’t have you start with a schedule as soon as you arrived, though. After being rescued from the Capitol alongside Johanna, Annie and Peeta, you were immediately taken into the care of the hospital. Almost a month later, they still haven’t fully released you from their custody.

It might have something to do with your adjusting period, and the fact they’re comparing you to the other three. With Annie, she was able to communicate they didn’t harm her, so she was given the option to leave the hospital first. As for Johanna, she’s the same person she’s always been, the aggression just threw them off, so they kept her for a week longer than they should’ve.

As for Peeta, he’s on the extreme end. Upon seeing Katniss, he tried to kill her, which put the doctors under the impression that not everything is what they seem. That’s why they insisted on keeping Johanna until Haymitch could confirm that’s just her personality.

When it comes to you, the bright lights of Thirteen’s hospital were almost identical to the ones in the Tribute Center. They had you strapped to a chair underneath a big light in the middle of the room. It was shining directly into your eyes, all hours of the day. The only time you got a break from it was when you’d pass out from the lack of oxygen.

It took some convincing, but eventually the doctors got through to you that you are safe in their care. All lights in your room were promptly changed from white to yellow, and then they were either dimmed heavily or off completely from then on. 

As soon as you started showing signs of normalcy, you were given the option to wander the hospital wing. And when they wanted to start implementing you into their way of life, they tried to give you one of those arm stamps. You followed it for… maybe the first three days before Katniss told you it’s a bunch of bullshit.

You didn’t care for it much after that.

Honestly, that might be one of the main reasons why they continue to keep you in the hospital, instead of moving you to one of their pods, like they did with Finnick and Katniss. Apparently, they were both kept here for a while following the arena rescue. Finnick couldn’t function properly from the shock, so he wasn’t in any shape to be making decisions about his care.

The same goes for Katniss, just worse. Haymitch caught you up on her behavior, because you were curious about how she was compared to Finnick. From the sounds of it, the weight of everything that had happened hit her hard. Including the fact Peeta was no longer around for her to fiercely protect, he was in the hands of the Capitol.

You can’t imagine how painful it was for her to get Peeta back, only for him to be unrecognizable. In the few times you’ve talked to him recently—because he doesn’t have a violent reaction when he sees you—you can tell by the way he holds himself that there is something severely broken in him. 

He does not have the same softness he used to. The Capitol was successful in breaking him. 

Peeta seems to be getting better over time, though. He’s not nearly as violent as he used to be when he talks about Katniss now, but it’s still nowhere near positive. It’s just tolerance. Plutarch has been working over calls with scientists in Three on ways they can reverse the hijacking.

Every time you sit in on a meeting in the Control room, he can’t help himself when he makes jabs at you when it comes to Beetee’s death. As if you were the one that missed blocking the knife, not Finnick. And you don’t say that to blame Finnick, you’re just confused on how that was your mistake, when you couldn’t have helped prevent it.

You never feel the need to defend yourself with Plutarch, he’s not worth your energy, you did everything they asked of you. Besides, if you’re sitting in on a meeting, so is Finnick. He’s jumped to your defense plenty of times, he has no issue shutting down Plutarch when he’s making shit up. 

Speaking of Finnick, it’s a weird adjustment with him, too. If you had told yourself last year that Finnick would be defending you to other people, instead of helping them tear you down, you might’ve peed yourself from laughing so hard. Finnick swore to you, and Mags and everyone else who would listen that he would never change his mind about you. It’s funny how things have worked out.

You’re really glad you two have been able to move on from that point. You’ve known Finnick for a long time—ten whole years. If he hadn’t been so set on making you an enemy after your Games, you’re sure that the two of you would’ve been best friends. It makes you curious on how the Capitol would’ve perceived you in that case, would it have made your situation with Snow worse?

Either way, your feelings about Finnick have been the same for a while, even years before the Quarter Quell. You’ll admit there were times where you lost your patience, and dropped down to his level of disrespect. Which definitely didn’t help with the way he decided to treat you, only justified it.

All it took was Mags telling him the truth about how you’ve allowed the Capitol to treat you, something you confessed to her ages ago. You can still remember the look of horror on her face when you got into the details, and the way it smoothed over when you said you’d made an offer to Snow to take more nights for Finnick. 

Mags was truly a sweetheart. Besides Finnick’s family, she was the only other person who was able to see things correctly. And she was incredibly wise when it came to important secrets. When you told her about the Capitol, you said she could do what she wanted with the information. You assumed she would go and tell Finnick when she got the chance, a part of you had hoped it would shake him.

Nothing came of it, of course, until a couple weeks ago when Finnick told you she’d finally told him your secret. You loathed Mags for at least a week, all you could think was, “A little too late, don’t you think?” But as soon as you had a conversion with Haymitch about it, he reminded you that she did it on purpose. 

Mags waited for the perfect time to tell him, and you suspect it had to be on the night of the interviews, before you all went to bed. It would make him hesitate in the arena, see your opinion from a different angle. It made him trust you, despite the years of hatred that had been leading him prior. 

What really sealed it for him was when you risked your life to make sure his family was safe in the Capitol. Finnick’s told you countless times since you started talking to him, that he’ll never be able to make it up to you. You don’t know how many times you’ve told him that you don’t want him to. 

He’s doing enough now. In fact, he’s doing more than you expected from him. At first, it started with the two of you hanging around each other, going around District Thirteen, getting lunch and dinner together. You thought you’d be friends at most, until the two of you got caught in your feelings.

Johanna’s been making fun of you ever since she found out.

She’s currently laying backward on her hospital bed, using the pillows to keep her legs elevated and feet pressed against the wall. The hospital is beginning to drive her crazy, especially the nurses. It doesn’t help that the doctor she was assigned refuses to discharge her. She’s stuck here, like you.

Johanna’s gently rubbing her head, a habit she picked up recently. It’s not that she necessarily misses her hair, she just claims that it helps her think. She hasn’t been talking as much as she first did when you got here. It’s probably because she was able to get all of her thoughts out when she was talking to you while you were unable to respond. Everything she had kept bottled inside was let out over the course of three weeks.

It was actually fairly interesting to get inside of her head. She has good advice when it’s not clouded by anger. You’ve been meaning to ask her some questions, regarding Finnick. You’ve already picked the brains of Katniss and Haymitch, and they gave you answers that weren’t exactly thrilling to hear.

Lately, Finnick hasn’t been acting like the person he’s grown to be in Thirteen. In fact, he’s starting to revert back to how he used to be. The mean, distrustful man that could barely stand your presence in a room. But he’s inconsistent about it. Sometimes he’ll brush you off and make snide remarks, and others he’ll be kind and loving.

Haymitch wasn’t helpful, asking you if you were sure he wasn’t getting closer to Annie, like he’d been before the Quarter Quell. You told him that it couldn’t be possible because Finnick has never had feelings for Annie. It has something to do with the fact that she was too focused on her health to consider a relationship with anybody. Let alone Finnick, who had a number of problems from the Capitol. Not to mention, her parents are strict about her life.

Annie is out of the question.

Katniss had a better idea, mostly because she’s going through a similar situation with Peeta right now.  She suggested that Finnick could be acting like that because he’s confused. He had a wave of euphoria when he saw you were okay, after sacrificing so much for him. He’s been given the opportunity to make things right, but now he’s confused because he’s not used to these types of feelings about you.

This could be why he’s acting out.

The only other person you want to hear from right now is Johanna. Finnick still talks to her as much as she talks to you, which is almost all hours of the day. You’re hoping he’s said something to her recently that might give you an idea of what’s going on in his head. Or even the answer entirely.

“Hey, Johanna?” You ask.

She hums, hand pausing. “(Y/n), if you try talking to me about breaking out of this place again, you better fall through with the plan this time.”

You roll your eyes. “In my defense, I asked Coin to clear us to go outside, but she said that only Katniss and Gale are allowed to go. They hunt.”

“Sure they do. I bet they think of ways to escape, too.”

“It’s Katniss.” You agree, playing with your shoe on the floor. 

Thirteen’s shoes are unsurprisingly uncomfortable. If it were allowed, you’d walk around in your socks. You tried once, and then you got sent back to the hospital to get them. You were escorted the entire way here to make sure you wouldn’t disobey. 

“What’s your question?” Johanna asks.

You press your lips together briefly. “Have you noticed that Finnick’s acting kinda weird lately?”

Johanna doesn’t move for a second. “Weird how?”

“I mean, he’s not acting like he normally does. I think…” Your face screws. “I think he’s going back to how he used to treat me.” You look up to see her. “Has he talked to you about how he feels at all?”

Johanna doesn’t respond, so you take this as her thinking.

“If it helps, Katniss said it could be because he’s confused.” You offer, shrugging. “Haymitch said it was Annie, but that can’t be true, right?”

She looks impressed, rubs her head once or twice, and then turns to look at you. “Of course brainless is smarter than the drunk.”

“Katniss is right?” You ask.

Johanna sighs, “No, she didn’t get it exactly.” She rolls her eyes. “Listen, I told Finnick that he’s being stupid about this, but he didn’t care. He’s caught up in his head.”

“What are you talking about?”

“(Y/n), he’s told me that he doesn’t think he deserves you after the way he treated you. He said that it’s clear that you’re the better person, and he’s nothing but an asshole.” She shakes her head. “He wants to end things with you.”

“What?” You ask, getting to your feet. “When did he tell you this?”

“Last week, I think.” Johanna stares blankly at the ceiling.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We see each other every day.”

“I thought he wasn’t going through with it. If he did, you’d bring it up to me.” She makes a face. “I’ve been trying to tell him to knock it off.”

“Johanna, what did he say exactly?” You sit back down on the stool, trying to calm down.

She sighs, closing her eyes. “He said it had something to do with your generosity. You know, the whole Capitol thing. He’s hearing a lot of good things about you from Haymitch, and I think that’s freaking him out.” She starts to pick at one of the scabs she refuses to let heal. “I think he said that he didn’t understand the way you worked, and now he feels stupid about it.”

“The way I worked?”

“Like your ulterior motives.” She explains. “How you do one thing and it benefits you later on, but it looks bad from the outside. Finnick said that you have a heart of gold and it took you getting tortured for him to feel that way. He feels selfish.”

Your eyes dart to the clock, wondering what time it is. The hospital’s curfew will go into effect in a couple of hours. They don’t like it when their patients are out past a certain time, they have a routine when it comes to gathering vitals.

“I’ve got to go.” You say suddenly, bending down to pull your shoes on.

“Where?” Johanna asks, twisting to sit up.

“I need to talk to Finnick, now.” You tell her, standing up. “I’ll see you later.”

You leave her room before she can stop you. You’re a few steps down the hall when you hear the automatic door swish shut. Finnick could be anywhere in the bunker, but he’s been hanging out in the Control Room a lot recently.

You go there first. Down the hospital hall, up six floors on the elevator, down a muggy hallway and up to the door. When you knock, no one answers. It isn’t until you’re pounding on the door, does it swing open, to a very irritated President Coin.

“Can I help you, miss (L/n)?” She asks, eyebrows turn down. “We’re in the middle of a meeting.”

“Is Finnick inside?” You ask. “It’s urgent.”

“No, I have not seen him. Try Heavensbee.” She goes to swing the door shut.

You place your foot in the crack before she can shut it entirely, and regret it almost instantly from how hard she was going to slam the door. Coin opens the door wider, lips pressed together.

“Where would I find him?” You ask.

“The basement. He was working in the weapons shop.”

She then kicks your foot out of the way, pulling the door shut. You roll your eyes at her behavior, she hasn’t been the kindest person to you since you arrived. You think Plutarch’s convinced her it’s your fault Beetee’s dead. One day you’ll give him a piece of your mind, but today won’t be it.

You leave the hallway, finding the elevator again. It’s old, which means it moves slowly. It takes almost fifteen minutes for it to go all the way down to the basement, because of the other people getting on and off. 

By the time you get there, Plutarch’s locking the doors. “Have you seen Finnick?”

He looks over his shoulder to see it’s you, and then goes back to fixing the lock. “I haven’t. I’ve been on a call with a scientist for the past hour working on weapon plans because we don’t have any experts here.”

You suck in a breath, reminding yourself not to react. “Do you have any idea who might’ve seen him? It’s important.”

“Did you try Haymitch?” He suggests lamely.

“Where would he be?” 

“The rehabilitation center. Where else?” He shakes his head.

You don’t say anything back to him, because all responses would be rude. You leave him there, heading back to the elevator. By the time you get it programmed for the rehab center, Plutarch is in sight. He holds out his hand to tell you to stop, but you press the button while looking away, pretending as if you didn’t see him. 

Maybe he should be nicer to you.

The rehab center is closer, and their curfew is stricter. If Finnick is here, then he’s only in the visiting area. It’s a shame that Haymitch is still required to stay here instead of a pod, but he really pissed off Coin. He was joking about smuggling alcohol from Greasy Sae, and she was having none of it.

When the elevator stops, you program it to go up a few floors before being allowed to go back down. Anything you can do to inconvenience Plutarch. When you get inside of the center, they have you sign a sheet, and then they put you in the waiting room while they call out the person. As soon as they have you sit down, you know Finnick isn’t here, either, because they would’ve just directed you to the visiting area.

Haymitch comes out, as messy looking as ever, with a beanie pulled to his eyebrows. “Hey, kid. Curfew’s soon.”

“I know. Hey, has Finnick been here?”

He shakes his head. “Peeta’s a good guess. Finnick’s been trying to do exposure therapy.”

“At the hospital?” You ask. “I would’ve seen him.”

Haymitch blows air out from his cheeks. “Katniss?”

“That’s a better idea.” You nod, “I should’ve tried her first instead of Coin. I’m sorry I can’t stay, the hospital’s curfew is in an hour.”

Haymitch waves his hand. “Good luck.”

You wave, leaving out the waiting room door. The lady at the office bids you a goodnight, and then promptly shuts off the office lights. There’s a click that fills the air from the locking system, making you let out a quiet laugh. What a passive-aggressive way to tell you that you were overstaying your welcome. 

On the elevator again, you take it up to where Katniss’s pod should be with her family. Just her, her mom, Primrose and their cat. When you get there, you knock on the door. It’s only a second before Katniss’s mother opens it with a warm smile. 

“Oh, hello (Y/n).”

“Hi.” You smile, “Is Katniss here?”

“No, I believe she’s down in the cafeteria with Gale and Finnick.” 

You hum, eyebrows drawing together. “Thank you.” You begin to back away. “Have a good night.”

“Is there a message you’d like to leave?”

“No, I’m actually looking for Finnick.” You shrug. 

She nods. “Have a good night.”

The door shuts, you turn around and get back to the elevator, where you’re forced to wait twenty minutes. The clock on the wall isn’t helping the rising anxiety in your stomach, you’ve only got enough time to check the cafeteria before you have to get back to the hospital. He better be down there. 

You guess you could try again tomorrow, but you want to have a conversation tonight. The longer you wait, the more it settles into his head. What if he spends the entire day dodging you?

The elevator arrives full of residents trying to get back home. You step on, and being the only one inside, you’re able to head straight down without any disruptions. It’s a quick trip down, but you have to go down the hallway to even get to the cafeteria. 

You push the swinging door open with your hip. The room is illuminated by the few tv’s on the pillars, they’re stuck on the Capitol logo. In the daytime, Thirteen usually will let the Capitol broadcasts play. The people here see them as a comedy.

Sure enough, Katniss and Gale are inside, and they turn at the sound of the door. There is no Finnick in sight, but that doesn’t mean he’s not nearby. 

“Hey, (Y/n).” Katniss adjusts her body to turn halfway so she doesn’t have to crane her neck. “Looking for Finnick?”

“Yes, actually.” You nod. “Have you seen him recently?”

“He just left and took the stairs up to the hospital to talk to Johanna before the curfew set.” 

Your face twists. “Johanna?”

“If you take the elevator, you might be able to catch him.” She says.

“Right.” You agree, “Sorry for interrupting.”

Gale opens his mouth, Katniss speaks first. “It wasn’t even important. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye.” You wave, leaving the doorway.

You jog back down the hall to get to the elevator quicker. As soon as you press the button, the doors peel apart, allowing you to get inside. You’re briefly hopeful this trip won’t take longer than a minute, except you run into the same problem as earlier, with people stepping on with every passing floor.

By the time you get to the hospital, it’s past curfew. Finnick always leaves on time.

A wild goose chase for nothing. It’s like Finnick knew you were coming, so he avoided you at all costs. You don’t want to go back to how things used to be between you two. It was painful, knowing there was nothing you could do to fix it. You just had to let it go, like you will now. Except, you’re stuck in this stupid bunker with him, meaning you’ll never get away. 

Tears appear in your eyes. You suck in a breath, holding it, tilting your head back to force the tears back to where they came. It doesn’t work, they slide down the sides of your eyes, traveling down your cheeks.

You let out the breath, and take in a shaky one. It isn’t long before the crying starts. You have to stop in the hallway before you enter the hospital wing, because if they see you upset, they’re going to put you on medical lockdown. This thought alone increases the hysteria.

You slide down the concrete wall, burying your face in your hands while you cry. Ten years you’ve waited just to be his friend, and he’s going to take it all away on the thought he’s not a good person? When it’s clearly not true? He’s sacrificed just as much as you have to get here.

You’ve told him this. Why won’t he listen?

“(Y/n)?” You whip your head up to see Finnick, a frown on his face. “Oh, honey.”

“You—” The word is strangled as another sob overcomes you at the sight of him, finally.

Finnick rushes over, coming to a crouch in front of you. You jerk forward, throwing your arms around him for a hug, squeezing him tightly. Finnick pulls you closer, placing a hand on the back of your head to keep your face in his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, shushing you gently. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not!” You protest through your tears. “You want to leave me!”

He doesn’t say anything, his grip only tightens.

“Finnick, I don’t care. I don’t care that you were mean to me in the past, because it didn’t bother me. I wouldn’t be talking to you if I didn’t want to be with you. How could you have known better if no one told you? It’s not your fault.”

“I should’ve seen the signs. If I had gotten to know you better, maybe I would’ve realized. I was so mean to you.”

“We were mean to each other.” You tell him, playing with his hair. “We did good things on our own time. You’re a good person, Finnick. You’re not bad for what’s happened between us in the past.”

You push him away from you to see his face, finding tears in his own eyes. You cup each side of his face, pulling him to your lips. Finnick’s hand slides its way to the back of your neck, holding you against him for a few seconds longer.

When you pull back, you wipe a tear from beneath his eye. “Let’s just focus on us right now, okay?”

“Okay.”

[minawritesfanfic]

You are who you eat

Dexter Morgan x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: Dexter talks to you about the elephant in the room, and you finally tell Deb about you seeing her brother.

Part 7

Previous | Next

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Dexter returned to work, or at least the building, he needed to find you and explain things before there was another misunderstanding like when Rita first found out about him and Lila. Dexter’s eyebrows furrowed at the thought but he need to focus on finding you, but as he stepped through ghe glass doors of the precinct he realized he didn’t know where your office was. He knew that you were in IT but that was about it, the tech people usually came to him rather than the ofher way around. Dexter approached the woman at the front desk and asked her, she gave him a once over before pointing him in the right direction. Dexter was off before she could even sarcastically say you’re welcome, he made it to the office and saw you inside as the door was open. You looked up from your computer and sighed as you stood, you walked out past him.

“Follow me,” you said curtly leading him away.

Dexter felt like a guilty puppy following you away. But he listened, day one into your relationship and he had already gotten another woman pregnant. He didn’t even need to imagine all the horrible thoughts you were thinking about him, after a short walk Dexter found himself alone with you in a quiet hallway with you away from prying eyes. You stood with your arms crossed and foot tapping, you looked at him expectantly.

“So go on, explain I’m listening.” Dexter paused his mouth agape as he tried to figure out what to say.

“Well that was my ex-girlfriend, Rita.”

“That’s it? That’s your entire explanation?” You asked and Dexter looked away exhaling.

“It’s a long and complicated story.”

“Then you should hurry up and explain it, I’m really trying not to jump to conclusions. Unless you want me to?” You said throwing your arms up exasperated and Dexter sighed.

“She’s my ex girlfriend but we broke up because I was involved with another woman, Lila, who in hindsight is crazy and obsessed with me. But I also ended things with Lila shortly after you started sending me those notes, she broke into Rita’s house and was likely the one who set the cabin on fire. Honestly I’ve been avoiding both of them especially after our first date.” Dexter explained but his explanation sounded better in his head than aloud, your silence wasn’t comforting either.

“….wow, I am not quite sure what to say. I never imagined you would be the type to cheat, let alone with someone you of all people have deemed ‘crazy’. I think this is definitely a conversation we need to have more indepthly later, but for now what are you doing about the baby..?” Your went quiet as if you were afraid to even mention the baby, as if you wished it wasn’t real.

“I plan to step up as a father of course, but Rita wants to get back together.” Dexter sad flatly.

“Are you?”

“No, Rita and I aren’t compatible but we are. I want to be with you, but I understand if me having a kid with another woman ruins that.”

“It doesn’t, but it makes things a bit awkward now.”

Dexter placed his hands gently on your shoulders rubbing his thumbs against the fabric of your shirt gently, you leaned forward and rested your head against his chest as you wrapped your arms around his torso. Dexter hugged you back and gave you a squeeze, he was glad that the situation had been resolved for the most part. He was thankful that despite the abruptness and absurdity of the situation that you hadn’t blown it out of proportion, it was like a heavy weigh had been lifted off his chest. He couldn’t blame you if you had gotten angry and immediately jump to your own conclusions, but you didn’t. You actually stepped back and listened to him, and didn’t try to make a fight out of it. Dexter pressed a kiss to the top of your head and squeezed you before pulling away from the hug.

“I’m going to Rita’s house later tonight to talk about things, and to see her kids since they miss me.”

“Alright, but call me whenever you get home. But wow I didn’t know Rita had other kids, she looks so young.” You said as you fixed your hair slightly.

“Yeah, their names are Astor and Cody, they’re really sweet kids.”

“That’s nice, but we should both probably get back to work. We can talk about this more later so don’t forget to call me later alright, Dexter?”

“Alright, I won’t forget.” Dexter kissed your forehead once more and you both parted ways for the day.

★ ✮ ★

Work passed by in a flurry, my mind was too distracted to be present in the monotony that was work. I hadn’t even realized I had driven all the way home until I suddenly blinked and was sat on my couch, even though I had talked with Dexter I still wasn’t happy about the situation. I understood that ‘Rita’ had likely gotten pregnant way before I was even in the picture, still this wasn’t how I wanted to start off a brand new relationship. Day one and there was already so much baggage, and honestly makes me feel like I’m the other woman. I groaned as I got up and walked over towards the fridge, I grabbed some left overs and heated them up in the microwave. While it cooked I grabbed a bottle of wine and pour myself a large glass, getting tipsy wouldn’t be enough tonight. It took two trips but I brought my food, the wine glass, and bottle of wine to the living room of my apartment. I took a long sip from my glass before setting it down on the coffee table with my plate on my lap. I flipped through channels on the tv and eventually found a channel I liked, I took a bit of my food and melted into the couch. It was absolutely delicious, I was eating leftover calf meat that I turned into fiesta chicken. Nothing grand but it hit the spot, nothing like warm food and some alcohol to soothe your soul.

I finished my food quickly and now laid on my side, watching the tv with my head propped up on my arm. It has been a few hours and I had changed my mind on drinking all that wine, it would be best to be somewhat sober when Dexter called. Speaking of which I heard my phone ring from the kitchen counter. I slowly go up and grabbed it, I didn’t bother checking who it was and answered it quickly. My shoulders slumped slightly as I heard Debra’s voice, I walked back to couch and laid down on my back.

“Hey, are you free to talk right now?”

“Yeah, I need to talk to you anyways. What’s up?”

“I just needed to brag that I’m going to be an auntie soon, my brothers girlfriend is pregnant! I mean they’re sort of broken up right now, but with that skank gone it’ll be smooth sailing.” I winced, Debra was in the minority of people who didn’t know about my workplace crush on Dexter.

“Yeah congratulations, but that’s kind of what I needed to talk to you about Deb.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dexter asked me to be his girlfriend the other day.” The silence was defeaning and I could practically hear the cogs turning in her head.

“Since when we’re guys getting to know each other like that? Why we’re you even getting to know each other at all?”

“Since roughly a month and a half ago, I’ve been meaning to tell yo-“

Before I could say anymore Deb hung up on me, I sighed and laid my phone on my stomach. I knew I probably should have told her sooner about Dexter and I, but I just hadn’t had the chance nor was I sure it would actually go this far. I dragged my hands down my face with a groan, I figured I just needed to give her some space but as my phone rung again I figured I didn’t have to.

“Deb look I’m sorry.”

“Deb? This is Dexter.” I abruptly sat up and adjusted myself realizing who it was.

“Oh hi Dexter, did you uh make it home alright?”

“Yeah, all in one piece.” He joked which made me smile, but a silence cane over us.

It was clear neither of us wanted to be the first on to talk, but also needed a moment to think of what to say. I knew I wasn’t going to talk first, Dexter was the one with all the complicated shit going on. I was just a innocent bystander caught up in it, who frankly was embarrassed to feel so strongly for him already. It had been just a little over a month and here I was wanting to make a relationship that had barely begun work out, anyone else and I would be running for the hill. Seriously pregnant ex girlfriend and a possibly crazy ex girlfriend who’s not a serial killer but ignored the fact Dexter had a man locked on a cage in a cabin. If any of that was true then that was insane, and the things she might do if she found out I was in the picture was unpredictable. I shuddered at the thought hut Dexter finally spoke up.

“In most cases police have found that majority of serial killers tend to be loners who didn’t get along with very man people, so having a girlfriend with kids made me the opposite of that stereotype. But with her ex-husband being a drug addict because of all the late nights out.” He paused for a moment and I let him know I was listening.

“So I ended up in rehab with Lila, I was just there to appease Rita but then Lila understood me. She saw past my facade and I honestly believed with her help I could stop killing, but she was obsessed and wanted to be the only positive influence in my life. She broke into Rita’s house and gave someone who wanted to kill me my exaxt location, pulling away didn’t work either she even affected my coworkers and accused one of assaulting her. And the cabin on fire was indeed her doing, she was try to protect me in her own way before trying to kill Rita’s kids in a fire next.” He paused once more with a heavy sigh as he recounted everything, i could practically see the furrows in his brows through the phone.

“Then there was you, mysterious and possibly dangerous. You knew exactly who and what I was yet you hadn’t revealed it, which I doubt would’ve been hard for you to forge belieable enough evidence to get people ok the right path. Then to find out you were like me was exhilarating, not to mention fascinating seeing how normally you function despite what you do. You were beautiful in ways I could never be and I was hypnotized, you’re not someone I need as a cover or to get over my dark passenger. You’re my true equal in life.” I felt my face flush at his words and couldn’t hide my smile as I listened, and I felt happy as he went silent again.

“That was.. a lot and truthfully I don’t know what to say in response to most of that. But I’m glad you see me as an equal, I’m certain we can figure out this Rita situation together.”

“I would completely understand if you ran for the hills right this moment.”

“I won’t Dexter, I’m your girlfriend and we’re in this together now.”

“Thank you…”

“Of course, but I should probably mention that when I was talking to Debra earlier I told her about us and well she didn’t take it well….”

“I’ll talk to her, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, I just didn’t want to blindside you but just let her know I’m sorry.”

Dextered hummed in response and the air fell silent once again but it was less awkward this time. It was more so a natural pause as we both fully absorbed everything, it was a lot but I truly believed we could do it. I also felt I had a better idea of who Dexter was now, he longed to be understood and treated normally. I was starting to get the idea he wasn’t always like this, but it wasn’t my place to ask deeper questions that would tell me more at the moment. All I could do was wait for him to open up and give him a safe space to do so, I sighed and relaxed more into the couch and spoke up.

“I know you just got back home, but do you want to come over? Or I could come there.”

“I’ll be at yours in ten minutes.” I was flustered by the abrupt and sat up.

“Oh okay, I’ll see you soon then! Drive safe okay.” Dexter hung up and I quickly cleaned up and made sure that none of my cannibalism was visible for whenever Dexter got here.

Who had to have been speeding as he got here in record time, I heard a knock on my door just as I was tucking away a few more things. I patted away the dust on my hands and opened my apartment door, Dexters expression was blank and he stood outside my door not moving for a moment seemingly hesitating. I stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug which he welcomed, pulling me closer to him and holding me tightly. I wish I could understand what was going through his head, eventually I pulled him inside. We laid in my bed together just chatting as we laid side by side, it was like we were kids having a sleepover. We bounced from topic to topic, occasionally sharing pointers for our ‘hobby’, and dexter even told a few jokes. It was surreal and relaxing compared to the days previous events, I looked over at Dexter as he laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. I laid on my stomach resting my head on my arms as I faced him, he was telling me a story about Deb from when they were younger. The corners of his mouth twitched upward as he talked and I could see that it was a fond memory for him, I could help but smile as I nodded along as we continued talking.

“Do you have any fond childhood memories?” He asked as he turned to face me, I looked away as I thought for a moment.

“Uhm well I was an only child so I was pretty spoiled growing up, but I think my fondest memory is probably the first time I remember my mom cooking for me. I was super hungry and her cooking was so delicious, I ate until I nearly passed out.” It was a fond memory even if it was the first time she cooked human meat for me.

★ ✮ ★

It was just after my fifth birthday that I had spent with ‘them’, I was still recovering from the after affects and hadn’t been eating well. I spent most of my days bed ridden and starving, I remember waking up hazy from a nap as I smelt something cooking. I weakily crawled out of bed and made my way to the kitchen, the sun was pouring in from the windows and cast my mothet in an angelic glow. She was doing something over the stove and I approached her, I clung to the back of her leg hugging it tightly as I rest my head against her. She looked down at me and smiled sadly, “Would you like to try some? I think you’ll like it.”

I doubted her words but I wanted to try it, she feed me what looked like chicken on a spoon and I ate it. I was ready to recoil and spit it out but I didn’t, I chewed and it waa delicious. I felt my hunger grow and I looked up at her for more, she smiled again and now that I thought back on it she was crying. She sent me to the table and gave me a plate, that I practically shoveled it into my mouth and my mom had to slow me down several times. Before long I had eaten all of dinner by myself, and sat stuffed in the dinning room chair. Everything else was kind of blurry but I remember my mother picking me up and holding me for a while, then she brought back to bed and tucked me. Last thing I remember is her rubbing my face while i dozed off.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

[pixiecaps]

I fully thought Sunnys admin had left the server? Because none of the other admins who stayed have said anything regarding the whole qadmin situation as far as Im aware so the whole way Sunny's admins been vocal about everything read as "oh she's openly talking about this like all the other admins who left so she mustve left too and I just missed the announcement" and I feel crazy now

to my own knowledge no ryan has never announced she left the project shes just been openly vocal about where she stands with everything. she seems to still be very much sunnys admin or at least what she last was aware of. the only egg admins that have confirmed they have left the project is ramon, pomme, and dapper. (ramons admin still being willing to come back.) the others we know nothing about likely because they’d rather keep their identities secret and remain in the project. we know from philza when he mentioned it a bit ago that chay and tallulah were doing fine just waiting. its also important to note that their silence doesnt equal that they think everything going on is justified or correct. which ive seen many people jump to that conclusion. but when you actually look at the situation at hand.. it could very well be for their safety. look at sunnys admin she spoke about how she didnt even know what this lore stream was about and hasnt been told anything and immediately was flooded with hate and harassment that led to her going private on twitter. it would not surprise me if the other admins choose to remain silent to avoid that shit and for many more reasons. ive said this once and i’ll say it again anonymity is a privilege especially for these admins that are so heavily in the public eye.

[meganlpie]

I Can Still Sense Him

Based on this request: Hey, if requests are still open I was going to ask for a Supernatural request where the reader (fem) is Gabriel’s human mate. When he dies shes devastated and everyone says she’s delusional because she can still…sense him. But then he really is alive and decides he can’t take hiding anymore and just comes back out into the open To be with her

Here you are, lovely! As always, I do not own ANY SPN characters. They belong to the writers/creators of the show.

Warnings: Destined mates, angst(mentions of death), fluff, and it's a little short.

Pairings: Gabriel x fem!reader, The Winchesters.

Most people would hate someone that caused the "death" of a person they cared for multiple times. But when you officially met Gabriel, you didn't see the same Trickster that the Winchesters saw. You saw someone broken and lonely. Someone a lot like you. You also immediately saw that he was not a typical Trickster. You'd seen his wings. A sign of an angel's destined mate.

          So of course, you'd pleaded with the Winchesters to let him go. They had trusted your judgment and did as you asked. After that, Gabriel made a habit of popping in to see you every now and again. You certainly didn't mind. Even if you hadn't known you were destined mates, the connection between you two was undeniable. You spent as much time as you could with him.

           He made you laugh, no matter the situation, and after a while, you could not deny that you fell in love with him. You got butterflies whenever he turned those honey-colored eyes on you. Or when he smiled at you. You wanted to be with him as often as possible. But, before you could admit to the mischievous angel that you loved him, he was gone. Taken from you.

          After the Winchesters and Castiel told you about Gabriel's death, you were devastated to say the least. You completely shut down. Hardly ate or slept, refused to hunt. You became a shell of yourself for what seemed like a long time. But just when you were at your lowest, you started to feel…something. You couldn't describe it, but it almost felt like Gabriel was still with you in some way. There were times you felt so at ease, like you could feel him hugging you close or hear him whispering in your ear. It brought you peace whenever you were alone.

          When the Winchesters questioned why you suddenly started acting like yourself again, you couldn't really explain it. You knew they'd jump to the different, albeit possible, conclusion that you were being haunted by something else. Or they'd think you were crazy. But the two men were very persistent and didn't trust sudden changes in the people they cared about or hunted with. So you had to try and explain.

           "I-I don't know how to explain it, guys. I just…started feeling better. Like Gabriel's still with me. Like he's here and helping me." As you suspected, the two exchanged a look like they didn't believe you.

          "Gabriel's gone, Y/N," Sam said softly, earning an eye roll from you. "I know that, Sam! Can't you let me have just a little sense of peace for once?! I lost the love of my life, something I thought you of all people would understand!" You didn't wait for him to reply before you got up and stomped out of the room. Was it a low blow? Yes. But you felt Sam had it coming in that moment.

          For weeks after that, you didn't speak to Sam at all and talked to Dean only when you had to. He had not said anything to you about your feelings, but you knew he thought you were insane as well. Even Cas thought there was something wrong with you. Still, you held onto that feeling, that sense, that Gabriel was somehow still with you. Even if it was only in spirit. Then, it happened.

          You were in Vegas (go figure) with the boys on a hunt. The hunt lead you to a hotel room. Dean wanted to go crashing into the room like an 80s TV cop, but you rolled your eyes and knocked on the door. The door opened and you swore your heart stopped.

          "Hey, Sweetcheeks. Miss me?"

          "G-Gabriel?" you squeaked out as tears formed in your eyes and you lowered your weapon. He smiled at you. Turning to Dean beside you, you asked, "Am I dreaming? Am I dead?" Dean simply shook his head, unable to form words. You wasted no time in launching yourself into the archangel's arms. Gabriel let out a huff followed by a light laugh.

          "I missed you too, Lollipop." You gripped onto the back of his shirt as he held you. "I knew I felt you." He laughed again. "Sorry I disappeared on you. I had to make dear Luci think I was gone. My…buddy Loki's been letting me hide out as him for a while, but I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to see you again," his whispered to you. "I'm just gonna…" Dean stated, trailing off before turning to leave you and Gabriel alone.          

Gabriel lead you fully into the room and shut the door. "The guys thought I was crazy," you stated and Gabriel shook his head. "I wanted to make sure you knew I'd never leave you if I didn't have to." You gripped onto him again. Truthfully, you were terrified to let go. "It's alright," Gabriel whispered, "I'm sticking around for a while. I'm not leaving my mate alone again." And when his lips met yours for the first time in so long, you knew he was telling the truth.

(a/n: I hope you like it! Also, how do we feel about Gabriel calling the reader "Lollipop"? I thought it was a cute nickname, but if you hate it, I won't use it in future Gabriel fics.)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @sirkekselord @aikibriarrose @lady-of-lies @motleymoose @esoltis280 @stories-by-shanna-p @dark-angel-is-back @supernatural4life2022

SPN Tags: @jotink78

[1moreff-creator]

DR:OS - CH1 Part 1 First Impressions

Everyone stop the presses, peak just dropped!!! You all know what that means, I get to freak out over DROS’ awesomeness for a few hundred words! Here are my first impressions, as always don’t expect anything too cohesive or deep insight ‘cuz these are just initial reactions :)

CWs for CH1 (I haven’t read them because I don’t need them, but it’s still awesome they’re listed here :D)

“[Ellis’ Thoughts] Though I’m always down for some pillow talk…” Bro it’s the first line how are we sus immediately :v

“I wonder if, once I win, the staff here would let me use the facilities to host [a party], even if just for a day. Would it be too messed up to host something like that in a place where people I knew died…?

Eh, it’s not like people don’t die in regular houses and hotels, too.” Genuinely what is wrong with him I love it.

“Antonia: [This place] feels just like any other place I’d work.” Hi Antonia! Glad to see you’re still seemingly unbothered by this whole thing!��Hopefully you’re not pulling a Celeste! :D

“Not me, though. I’m way too cool for employment.

Noah: I don’t think my dad would be happy if I failed out of college…

Harper: Even if it isn’t something I’m required to do, I have commitments I’m worried about letting down. There are people to help.

Paris: Plus, I’m sure all my followers are all totally worried about me! My friends, too…” LOOOORE- Well, mostly on Noah’s and Ellis’ part, funnily enough the Paris thing came up in Bonus Scenes lol.

“Jeff: Oh, definitely. Me not showing up is definitely something that would trigger alarm bells…” Is he being sarcastic? If so, that’s funny and also kinda sad, Jeff are you good?

“Aidan: Does it matter? Whether they’re out there looking for us or not, we should do whatever we think is best. If they find us, cool; it doesn’t change anything about how we handle this. Look for a way out, play house, I don’t care. But talking about if we’re going to get rescued or not is pointless.” Very good points! I like Aidan :)

“Kennedy: We should be talking about something important! Like the very real chance that there’s a mastermind among us…” BRO. I guess they’re the Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist for a reason, but holy hell that is a conclusion to jump to xD

“Kennedy: There’s some reason why they want to be here with us! We just have to figure out why…

Noah: Or, uh, they could not be here with us…

Kennedy: I know I’m right! Plus, who’s to say it stops there? If the mastermind wants someone to stand by them and protect them, look out for each other… there could be a traitor, too…!” Holy shit she’s insane! I love him so so much xD

{Also my color scheme is failing me. Too much orange T_T}

“Vivi: This whole thing’s crazy! Who’s to say the person running it isn’t, either? Like yeah, I’m curious to know what’s happening here, but Kennedy’s right. If we want out, our best bet is finding whoever’s running this thing!” I wonder if the Vivi-Kennedy duo will be a recurring thing, given their Bonus Scene interaction on top of Vivi taking Kennedy’s obviously insane side. I really enjoy them both together so I’d be ultra down for it, though obviously also fine if they never talk to each other past this point lmao.

[Aidan FTE 1: Start] Yo, FTE already??? And Aidan’s a really cool choice, I’m really curious where this is going to go, and how it’s gonna play out with DROS’ format. I was actually expecting accirax to pick Vanessa or Grace given they’re accirax’s guesses of first deaths, but maybe she just doesn’t take that into account when picking FTEs (makes sense). Still, I like this choice :)

“Aidan: Okay…? Do whatever you want, I don’t care. 

I look at him, eyebrows raised.

Ellis: Really? Anything I want? ‘Cause, I’ll have you know, I’ve been known to get up to some pretty wild stuff when left up to my own devices.” Aidan you had to have known what Ellis was gonna say to that xD

“Aidan: Aren’t you worried about the whole killing game thing?

I shrug. Do I really want to let Aidan know that I plan on surviving to the end with the power of luck? Or has he figured that out already, and simply decided to submit to his fate? 

I smile.

Ellis: I’ll believe it when I see it.” I mentioned in the Bonus Scenes first impressions that I love how every character seems to always be playing mind games, and that hasn’t stopped lmao.

“Aidan: I know other people care, and I can respect that. If they care enough about something to fight for it– even if that thing is as simple as their life– I wouldn’t get in the way of that.

Ellis: You think lives are simple…?

Aidan: Caring about your life is. Isn’t that, like, basic human instinct or whatever?” What… is wrong with him? lol. Pretty interesting mindset, I can’t exactly clock if he doesn’t care about his own life or if there’s a more “complex” thing he’s fighting for. Also, shoutout the cool contrast between Aidan seeing the goal of fighting for life as something simple and not something he really cares about, opposed to Vivi’s whole Deal about trying to conquer death.

“Aidan: I really don’t care what happens with any of this. So, if other people do, good for them. For now, what I know is that I’m here. That’s all.”

“[...] Either we’ll get out of here, or we won’t. In the meantime… it doesn’t really matter.” Okay, so definitely leaning on the “doesn’t really care about his life” angle, Aidan continues to be a really intriguing guy. This seems to be the end of the first FTE, which makes sense given there’s theoretically five for each character, and he’s leaving us with more questions than answers, which is always fun in a character :D

“If he dies, then 1) I don’t die (as a victim, at least) and 2) it means I’m one step closer to busting this joint.” I once again feel compelled to note I love Ellis a lot lmao.

“Ellis: Uh… Hang on, aren’t we not allowed to leave? Like, isn’t that literally rule number one?

Grace: We haven’t seen much proof of their ability to enforce it. It’s still possible they can’t enforce regulations beyond their boundaries, and they hope to inspire us with so much fear that we won’t even attempt to do so.” Grace is smart, I like them. Also, mm allegations are probably already dispelled with this alone, so I already have a (probably) wrong guess in the Prediction Game. I’m so good at this xD

“Vanessa: This place is pretty cool, if you actually take a look around! Why do you wanna leave so fast?” Conversely, Vanessa MM allegations?!?!?!- No.

“Vanessa: People were talking about that Tragedy thing, right…? What if it’s, like, really bad out there? It could be, like, not just a Japanese thing, and if that’s the case, then this is a great place to crash!

[...]

Grace: If the world is really in shambles outside, I’d like to know what happened to those I care about. So, my focus is on finding the fastest way out of this situation possible.” Just wanted to highlight an exchange I liked :)

“Grace: We discussed this at breakfast: is there a mastermind within our number? Someone responsible for orchestrating or running the killing game, who is included in the 16 contestants?

Monoquin: Yes.” … Just like that?!!?! Okay I guess Kennedy’s a damn deity I should have never doubted him xD I just find it funny this isn’t even a game-wide announcement, it’s just a question you can ask. So Monoquin’s not saying it to grow suspicion (else he’d say it to everyone), but he’s also not protecting the safety of the mm by lying about their presence within the cast. Hmmmmm… Interesting.

“Were we… buddies, before all this began?” Someone knows the common Dangan twists lmao xD

“Ellis: Isn’t it… kinda rude to your mastermind buddy to just be revealing all the deets like this?” Well, at least Ellis also thinks it’s odd :p

“Grace: And… the traitor? Was that true, too?

Monoquin: That is information I cannot divulge.

Jeff: Why’s the mastermind here, anyways? Couldn’t they just… leave? Watch the killing game or whatever from outside?

Monoquin: That is information I cannot divulge.” Hmm… Is there a reason the mm would have to run the game from inside? Or not and they really just chose to be here? Curious, very curious…

“Grace: …Vanessa, you do recognize that this means we do need to worry about the mastermind, don’t you?

Vanessa: Uh, I mean, we don’t have to–” Hey Vanessa the MM allegations thing was supposed to be a joke xD

{The fucking color coding broke down again already, this time with green, how did this happen???}

“Ellis: Ah, looks like I knew a ditcher, too! See ya.” Pfft-

“I mean, how am I supposed to flirt shamelessly if I know one of these cuties is the one behind our imprisonment? It was bad enough when I knew they all had daggers behind their backs, but now it’s like one of them has their finger on the nuclear launch button!” Bro we have ZERO trust-

Also I love Ellis’ mm reasoning, she sounds as crazy as me!

“Villains can be hot, anyways!” Just. Zero words. Holy hell.

“Davis: Basically, people find me attractive and overwhelmingly want whatever it is they want from me. Whether it’s a relationship, or sex, or anything else– however much they could ever want it from someone, they want it from me. [...] If someone could never be attracted to someone like me– gender, age, that kind of thing– it doesn’t seem to do anything. [...] No, it’s just for romantic or sexual desires, from what I can tell.” Pretty interesting Deal Davis’ got going on. Ultimate Bachelor is a hell of a talent apparently :p

“Aidan: I don’t think I’ve felt that way.

Davis: Are you attracted to men?

Aidan: Yeah? 

Davis: …Trans men?

Aidan: Sure?

Davis: …???

Ellis: Huh. That’s what happens when “Ultimate Contrarian” and “Ultimate Bachelor” collide, I guess.” What in the rock -paper-scissors ass talent bullshit is going on here??? I’m curious to see if Davis’ feelings about this will be explored further, whatever form that might take. Also Davis being trans is cool, we got some more LOOOORE-

{Now pink gave me issues?!?!?! Please my color coding-}

“Robert: These cookies are dangerous!

[...]

Robert: Well, this is some really high-quality stuff!” Robert is in another world entirely, love it.

“But, then, how could this killing game– apparently, the sixth of its kind– have found such actually notable people to participate in it? [...] Could this have something to do with the Tragedy that Paris and Vanessa have brought up before? The one that started in Japan? Or is this our own, home-brewed predicament, straight from the land of the free and the home of the brave? Either option seems ridiculous.” I love how Ellis just never seems to stop thinking about the Overarching plot lmao. 

“Mastermind, schmastermind…” Pfft-

“Kennedy: Ha! See? I told you all there was a mastermind!” PFFFT-

“Kennedy: There are plenty of things we can use to figure it out. For example, if there is a mastermind and a traitor… Harper and Noah! You two knew each other before the game, right?” She’s locking in immediately, he’s even crazier than I thought he’d be and it’s awesome.

“Kennedy: Or, Antonia and Ellis! They’re both casino people, right?” What did I say about the talent bringing MM accusations?!?! Kennedy sounds exactly like a Tumblr theorist (/affectionate) it’s actually incredible xD

“Vanessa: I thought it’d be fun if we all had to show off a talent that doesn’t relate to our Ultimate talent!” Ooh, that’s a really fun idea! Is that why Vanessa was featured Like That in the CH1 announcement? Really cool! Can’t wait to see how horribly wrong this goes :D Then again, it could go right if it’s that early in the chapter, which would be awesome, I actually kinda really wanna see this.

“Paris: Slay~” Aight Paris you gotta- you gotta stop saying that word. You can’t be bringing the Weeby Newz curse into this lmao 

“Ellis: Are you sure you all can handle my immense talents?

Vanessa: Give me whatever you’ve got! I’ll be judging, so don’t hold back~!

She winks.” Sorry what

“Grace: Isn’t this a waste of time?” Do I need to keep a counter of how many times Grace says this? Lmao.

“Jeff: Do I have to…?” Mood.

“I already know that my “talent” is gonna lead to tons of fun.” I am suddenly extremely worried about what Ellis is planning to do 0_o

Also I feel an FTE coming…?

[Jeff FTE 1: Start] Ooh… Not a choice I expected at all, but one I welcome wholeheartedly!

“Jeff: Might not even show up.

I stick my tongue out at them.

Ellis: Cheater. You know you’re not supposed to use your talents.” Ellis is hilarious lol.

“Ellis: But you don’t know exactly what about it is bad, then?

Other than, you know… the death? That seems a little too obvious to ignore, even if I’ve been trying.

Jeff: Nah. I never know exactly what it is, but I always get a feeling when it’s time to leave. And then, I leave, no questions asked.

Ellis: What an odd skill.” I’m inclined to agree with Ellis on this one. I wonder if we’ll get examples of stuff the Ultimate Absentee has avoided at some point.

“Jeff: If the weird rules of this place weren’t keeping me here, I’d already be cruising out on a private jet.” ??? Of all the people to be able to afford that, for some reason I never figured Jeff as one of them.

“If ominous foreshadowing was a talent, maybe Jeff could be the master of that as well.” Yeah lmao.

“Vanessa: Following the order of our lovely e-Handbook, first up, we have Jeff Breeze!” Btw thanks Venus for pointing out this order is just alphabetical through last name (aside from Mark who seems to be between Love and Mitchell because of their provisional name), it would have taken me an embarrassing amount of time to figure it out myself otherwise lol. 

The entire Jeff “performance” was hilarious btw, holy hell they’re all awesome xD

“Antonia: I… must admit, it’s a bit embarrassing, but… the skill I’m here to present today is juggling.” … ??? 

Of all the things to expect xD I love her.

“Antonia: My younger sister was quite a handful sometimes, so my parents would often ask me to entertain her. This was something that could keep her amazed for an hour, if I was lucky.” Wooow, Antonia lore :D That’s really sweet!

“Paris: Hey everyone! Today, I’ll be dancing to Toxic by Britney Spears~.” She’s great too actually.

“Paris winks with a dazzling smile. How “real” any of it is is less clear.” ??? Remember that thing I said about mind games? Yeah that lol.

“He grabs a clarinet (already assembled) from beside him and gets on stage– I guess he was prepared to perform, despite his grumbling? His ears are bright red.

Aidan: Here’s a song, or something…” Tsun-tsun! xD

“Taylor somewhat nervously gets on stage, setting up music similarly to how Paris did. When it starts, though, Taylor’s demeanor immediately shifts, and they begin to lip sync Born This Way by Lady Gaga perfectly, getting the timing and gestures spot on.” Lovely :D

“Vanessa: Impressive, yeah! However, it’s also kinda cheating? From what I can tell, you were just doing your best impression of the singer! Even if it wasn’t vocal, isn’t that true?” That’s what I was thinking, too. I wonder if Taylor just didn’t realize, or if they feel impressions are the only thing they’re good at, hmm… For later ig.

“Davis: Hey everyone. I’m going to be singing Mine by Taylor Swift.” Lots of musical “surrogate talents”, I like it!

“Kennedy: How is it that you grip everyone’s attention like that…?

Davis: It’s… really not anything that I do. It just happens.” Bro.

“Mark: Uh… I’m really sorry, but I don’t have anything.” Yeah tracks.

“Vivi: I have a lot of cool science tricks that I can show you guys! All medicine is founded in other branches of science, right?” YEAH let’s go!

“Vivi: Well, for starters, I was gonna show you guys this cool exploding bottle trick–

Vanessa: I think we’ll have to wrap yours up there!

Vivi: Wait, why? I know what I’m doing, and I promise it’s totally safe!

Vanessa: I’m sure that’s true, but um… anyways!” Aww… Well, don’t worry Vivi, they’re just jealous. Can’t handle a bad bitch winning smh.

“Vanessa: Ellis, it’s your turn!

Ellis: Aha! The moment you’ve all been waiting for~” I’m so worried.

“Ellis: Well, today, I plan to show off my real greatest talent. And that’s french kissing. Any volunteers?” Of course. Jesus Christ xD

“Vanessa: …Next contestant is Kennedy!” Once again no one can handle a bad bitch winning ig.

“Kennedy: Watch and learn.

He begins to perform a martial arts demonstration, kicking and punching in the air with decisive force.” Alright, another complete blindside, but an interesting one. I guess ‘cuz he’s paranoid about stuff?

“Kennedy: You never know what might be out there. I have to be prepared for everything. That’s why I wear these.

She shows off her hand, drawing attention to the spiked rings on her fingers.” Yeah that. Also, uh, don’t mind me…

Personal Note: Kennedy’s Spiked Rings. Kennedy wears spiked rings on her fingers.

Shush don’t tell venus and accirax I’m taking non-canon notes again. It’s a secret >:) (/silly)

“Aidan: Wouldn’t you only need those if your martial arts weren’t good enough? Besides–

Kennedy: It’s important to have the upper hand, no matter what. Multiple options keep your opponent on their toes!

Aidan: Your moves looked kind of amateurish, too. Have you ever actually trained, or are you just messing around?

Kennedy: Want me to demonstrate on you?” Okay I actually adore the beef these two got going on, it’s so awesome xD

“Robert: Hello, audience! Today, I’ll be reciting a poem: “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost!

He begins to read it decently competently. The poem is good, but there’s nothing to get too excited about with his performance.” Yep, meeting expectations. Though uh, don’t mind me I gotta, uh, firefox a thing-

“The Road Not Taken” is an interesting poem to have Robert read. It describes a person standing before two paths which appear exactly equal, describing how they can only take one and doubting they’ll be able to take the other another day. The poem ends with the speaker revealing that, “ages” later, they’ll “tell with a sigh” that they took the road less traveled, and that it made all the difference (whether that’s good or bad is left up to interpretation).

The irony here being that, in the moment, both roads were actually observably equal, meaning the hindsight is actually deeply flawed. It expresses the common habit of humans to assign responsibility in themselves for choices that did not truly exist, as “way leads to way” per the poem. Both roads were interchangeable, especially as there were other decisions down the line which could have changed the course of the speaker’s life, but regardless they choose to blame it all on the illusory idea that they went against the majority, which they didn’t. Whether that’s to brag about a good decision or blame themselves for a bad one, the flaws in their hindsight remain the same.

Applying this to Robert is tricky, given how little we know about the characters, but there’s certainly a few connections which can be drawn. Although it’s hard to see how the hindsight angle would work for now, we can certainly try to find some correlation between Robert’s talent and the concept of “the road less traveled by.” There’s certainly a few ways we can take it, such as “Robert is scared that he’ll regret going against the majority in any decision he makes”, or a more philosophical message on the nature of normalcy. Both roads are equally traveled because it is not the decisions taken, but rather the act of choosing one which is “normal.” Some kind of take that everyone is unique, because even the act of always choosing the “majority option” is a statistically improbable path of action over the course of an entire lifetime.

Or, and what I find most likely at present, perhaps for this fangan we’re meant to take the sigh at the end as wistful, and Robert’s choice to recite this poem reveals a desire to stray from the norm, to take the road less traveled, in which his talent serves the same ironic purpose as the equality of the roads. He may wish to escape it, but his talent always guarantees that the roads he takes are the ones most traveled, and he’ll have to either make peace with that or die trying in the killing game. Though as always, very early to tell which, if any, of these interpretations are correct. Still a very interesting thing to ponder on. 

…

Sorry what happened? I blacked out and four paragraphs of text appeared on the document what’s going on. Did a fangan creator compel me to analyze literature? Again? Why would they do this?

“Grace comes up next, wheeling a bike onto stage with a tube of wrapping paper tucked under their arm.” Sorry what.

“Grace: I’ve developed quite a talent for gift wrapping difficult shapes, so I thought I would show you all.” This has gotta be like. The most specific thing I’ve ever heard Grace what.

“Grace: I only learned from packaging gifts in my family’s shop. Clocks can take on plenty of strange shapes.” More lore, pretty interesting!

“Cass: Hello, everyone. Today, I’ll be showing off my logical deduction skills.

They uncap a whiteboard marker and start filling in boxes.” You know I really fuck with this surrogate talent but how is she supposed to guarantee that she hadn’t just solved it before coming to the talent show? Like I imagine she asked the staff for it because I don’t see how else this works, but the point stands that she could’ve still solved it beforehand lol. 

“Vivi: Why is everything always about work with you…?

Cass: It’s important to me.” The question of the hour with Cass yeah.

I’m very curious as to what the puzzle is even supposed to look like lmao. What kind of logic puzzle even was it? We need the answers venus, the world has to know!

“Noah goes next, carrying an electric guitar with him.

Noah: Hey! I’m gonna perform a song I like.

Noah starts playing Eye of the Tiger by Survivor on his guitar, and he’s pretty good.” This got more stereotypical sentence after sentence I love it xD

“Harper: Hello, everyone. I don’t have much to do here on stage, but I can show my progress on my project.

Harper reveals a few squares of a detailed quilt in the making.” Aw, cute! I like it!

“Vanessa: I guess that makes it time to announce a winner!

There’s a winner? And they didn’t even let me compete?!” Yeah Vivi got robbed #LetViviBlowShitUp

Also kinda sad we didn’t see Vanessa’s surrogate talent, even though it makes sense ‘cuz she’s the judge. Next Q&A I’m asking her what she’d have performed if she hadn’t been judging. You know, assuming we can still ask stuff to the CH1 victim by then- what who said that. (<- ref to my prediction game post). 

“Vanessa: Davis!” Yeah figures.

“Vanessa: Taylor, you could’ve won, but I decided it was a little too close to your talent. Your performance was great, though!

Taylor: Huh???

Paris: Get it, bestie!

Taylor: Huh???“ Everyone loves Taylor it’s great :)

{I swear my color coding doesn’t usually fuck up this often what is going on}

“And, I can’t deny, I probably would have voted Davis as the winner as well. He’s just so… captivating.

…Gah, curse Davis and his stupid bachelor abilities! If he doesn’t like it when people flirt with him, why did life have to make it so hard…?” Bro. 

“Cass, Vivi, and Kennedy… I’m in for a wild ride.” I mean Cass is sorta normal if you ignore how insane they are about their job, but I can’t exactly defend the other two lmao.

Okay ignore me they’re all equally insane about the mastermind. I love the little conspiracy theorist trio that formed here xD

“Ellis: Isn’t the mastermind’s identity the kinda secret that we’re supposed to figure out “when the time is right” or whatever?

Kennedy: As the Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist, it’s my job to lead everyone to the heart of the truth!” I love how “trope aware” Ellis seems to act at times, and Kennedy’s determination is fun. 

“Vivi: It’s just a hypothetical, right? We’re not even naming names, so it’s just harmless fun.” Vivi I feel there’s more harmless forms of fun than breeding suspicion in a killing game, but then again I guess your concept of “harmless” is supposedly pretty skewed so :p

“Ellis: Well, maybe they feel left out. It’s no fun to be picked last for mastermind kickball.

Vivi: I wonder who was picked last for the killing game…” …What the fuck are we even talking about??? xD

“Cass: I have a couple leading theories.

Kennedy: Tell me.” Man, Paris should be in the conversation, we have Kennedy asking to spill the tea in her stead lol. 

“Cass: …it’s… not fitting for an agent to talk negatively about people.” Cass is never beating the “obsessed with work” allegations are they.

“Mastermind, mastermind, mastermind… is that really all anyone can think about?” You know Ellis I think it’s just these three lmao :p

I love all the mastermind pondering that Ellis is doing despite the repeated assertions that he wouldn’t, he’s got zero self awareness and that’s very fun of her I think.

Also.

“Anyone who wastes their time thinking about all the various [mastermind] possibilities is clearly just some nerd stuck in a paranoid conspiracy hell.” Lol, lmao even xD You didn’t have to call us all out like that you know! /silly

Canon Notes:

Staff Members

Customer Service Desk

Monoquin’s Hands

Killing Game Explanation

Personal Notes:

Clockmaker’s Intuition

Kennedy’s Spiked Rings

-

This was an awesome episode! I really loved the talent show, it was really fun and cute and it’ll be awesome to think back on it when things inevitably get worse and we wonder where it all went wrong! Lots of interesting insight into a lot of very cool characters, too, so much fun stuff! It’s great to see so many engaging dynamics forming already, I can’t wait to see more! Very excited for whatever comes next! See ya’! :D

[razorblade180]

Story Quest drama

Does anyone else find it incredibly weird how many Genshin fans are upset with Paimon and Traveler after Furina’s quest? Like the way people are cherry picking certain parts of scenes and misrepresenting the situation is astounding. I’m not going to pretend Paimon and Traveler didn’t throw a couple jabs but for the majority of back of forth is just banter and the common bluntness they bring. In no way were they trying to gaslight or manipulate Furina.

Furina said she didn’t want to join on stage. Paimon asked if there were any exceptions, and Furina say she didn’t want to leave an out for herself. Hearing that, they immediately pivot the conversation to asking her if she knows anyone who could help. That is literally workshopping a problem 101 and constructive problem solving. I don’t get why people are painting that as pressuring. They heard her stance and seeked a solution that respected her decision and allowed them to continue trying to help their employer.

Furina punches down on herself by saying she didn’t know anyone because they were probably happy she was gone; to which one of the dialogue options boils down to “that’s not a good to assume” because it isn’t. Paimon’s next question was if she had any idea, which causes Furina to get agitated before immediately apologizing because once again, Paimon’s question wasn’t in any way trying to get Furina to buckle. The two of them are essentially checking of a mental list to see where they should go to try solve their commission. Paimon even clarifies this with her before they part ways and Paimon says “Oh well. We have to respect her decision”

Even when they get back to the guild, Paimon tells them for personal reasons, Furina can’t help; as well as clarifying the misconceptions the actress had about Furina being rude. In no way were the duo planning on circling back or involving Furina any further and only gets roped back in after getting caught spying. Furina herself admits she just started drawing lines in the sand without hearing the situation before trying to apologize, to which Paimon tells her everything is completely fine and nothing that just happened was taken personally. You could argue Furina didn’t have anything to apologize for and that’s fine, but even in game, nobody was expecting one and told her everything is fine.

Tiny rant but it’s a bit annoying how people are quick to clip certain dialogue to paint them negatively, while completely ignoring the parts Paimon and the Traveler actively tell Furina she shouldn’t be so hard on herself, it’s okay not to force things, and talking about how she’s finally free to live how she wants. But they want clip the part where Paimon said she first thought Furina was diva; a sane assumption to have after she tried immediately getting them arrested on a ridiculous charge for the sake of hyping the crowd. Was it a little rude? Yeah. Has Paimon never called it like she saw it? No. We’ve heard Kaveh’s backstory and both her and the traveler still went “You should really try and get your life together before something happens” because it’s the blunt yet honest truth. If isn’t Diluc, Klee, Xiao, Ayaka, Yoimiya, Dehya, or Collei, Paimon will find an issue. The others can do no wrong. 💀

Anyway, I just think it’s a bit ridiculous how some people acting. Especially when several weeks ago Furina and “girl failure” was always in the same sentence while people applauded Arlecchino for dragging someone when ultimately she also didn’t know dick about the situation and basically did a gymnastics performance the way she jumped to certain conclusions. I love that people love Furina, but let’s not get crazy now when two people choose to approach her in a casual dynamic instead of super gently and emphatically. If anything, Furina is getting the normal human experience of having people that actually hate her in Poisson, the troupe idolizing her, Neuvillette and Navia being sweet, and the Traveler and Paimon being casual friends.

You know what’s actually insane!? Shenhe talking about her dead family and backstory then the scene ends with Paimon saying “cut the chitchat. We’re trying to win a contest.” THAT was actually out of pocket. 💀

[rel312]

What I loved about WWDITS S5 Episode 5 (SPOILERS!!!):

“De Laurentis”

“In that house just over there. With my friends. ‘It’s fun”

“Which I do for my mental health as well as my physical health”

“Not since the great flood in 1892, Joanna. That was a big boy”

Nandor’s having so many gray lines and I’m not even 2 minutes in yet

*Steals mic* “because 1892 was a year that was not in my, uh, human lifespan, but 1992 definitely was” he’s killing me

Nandor whining and running away

“Oh shitty shit I fucked it”

“Shot shit shot shit shit shit shit”

The way Nandor’s voice broke on Guillermo

The way all the vampires are going crazy and jumping to conclusions because Nandor is an idiot

Nandor needing Guillermo’s cause he knows he’s the only one that can fix this

Guillermo’s aunt asking the camera guys if they’re hungry

Guillermo immediately watching when he sees Nandor

His side eye

Nandor trying to hypnotize everyone but getting cut off

Nadja having dyed her hair out of stress

Nadja having go bags for emergencies since she’s had to be kicked out before

“It’s alright, my darling, I’ll protect you. Be calm” Laszlo is so sweet

“He is not back yet is he?” Nandor you are not subtle

The Guide going on TV

Sean screaming being overheard by the news people

“If they don’t go it’ll just be you and I, into the night”

Nandor getting in the bag

Nandor having tried the second bag

The fact that Guillermo constantly has the same conversation with his mom because he doesn’t want to say goodbye

The fact that Nadja dyed the doll’s hair too

Laszlo and Nadja’s teary goodbye

The Guide dying her hair with Nadja

Nandor trying to bring everyone together

Colin Robinson accidentally trapping himself

Nandor throwing the knife to cut him down

“We can survive quite easily without you” he’s so upset Guillermo wasn’t there but that was so uncalled for

Nandor not understanding why Guillermo wanted to leave after that

The vamps in free background of the newscast trying to kidnap Joanna d then immediately losing the car in the sinkhole

Colin Robinson setting the van on fire

The vamps flying on camera

Them all turning into bags and leaving Colin Robinson

The vamps breaking into the news station

Nadja and Nandor continuing the news

The Guide and Joanna in the corner

The blood spatter

Laszlo’s emphasis on “blood”

Guillermo with the booby traps

[austin-chr-2-0]

Can we all just, as a group, collectively stop pretending that the Chucky series is actually a good show?

I promise it isn’t. It’s nothing short than a literal fetish bait that you see on TikTok. I’ll admit, Don’s show was enjoyable in S1. This is no hate or coming after anyone, I’m simply stating what I see.

Not only is the plot more confusing than my gender identity, there’s clear racism in the show. Am I the only one who finds it so hilarious that Don nearly killed off almost every POC character? And only kept the one that was apart of the “main couple” thing Don is doing that’s equivalent to the foolishness they did in Highschool Musical? One of my good friends did a whole blog on it, their name is Mys and I’ll link it.

And not to mention how Don literally admitted to Jake being a self insert. Let me repeat that for those in the back — HE ADMITTED JAKE IS A SELF INSERT. Meaning that the only reason Devon is alive because he’s an extension of DON’S SELF INSERT. Don literally said that his experiences with Jake are “similar” like sir, just admit it already. And don’t get me started on the poor writing here.

Dambala and Christianity? This isn’t paganism bro, and Dambala is technically voodoo and hoodoo, and those different religions have Catholic and Christian roots and similar tools. Also, I don’t mean to point out the elephant in the room but Chucky and Tiffany are white. Hoodoo and Voodoo and the practice of Dambala is a closed practice specifically for who?? African people. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. How come nobody fucking points out how Alyvina, Lexy’s actor, gets sexualized left and right?

And so does Devon’s actor. And I would like everyone to realize that Devon and Lexy’s actors, BJ and Alyvina are technically MINORS. Zachary is an ADULT. So imagine how it must look being a minor making out with a full ass grown adult. That is CRAZY.

And I know what everyone is going to say; “Well there’s consenting so it doesn’t matter” and “Well the show had better representation, I’d like to see you do better” and worst of all “What did you expect the show to be 💀 It’s TV-14, meaning that it’s gonna be swearing, sex talk, gore” and I know what the Don apologists are probably thinking; that I’m just randomly coming after a show but it’s far from it, if you took the time to read this editorial.

And let me break it down before everyone gets to typing and removing. I’m not saying it should be all cupcakes and rainbows. I’m saying these characters should have more characterization. Devon’s confession being deleted was the worst “fuck you” decision ever. We could’ve had a chance for Devon to get characterized and show some vulnerability.

But no. Of course not.

And instead of taking a season to focus on Devon, we have a random YT character — Grant. Again, nothing for Devon. As an African American gay individual, I resided with Devon a lot and I was so confused on how he rarely has characterization. We don’t even get to see him have a grieving process!

I believe, no, I KNOW Don is using something that was introduced in Scandal, a tv show — this method is called dog whistle media/politics. It’s basically racism, sexism, homophobia, all that good stuff in a language so coded that it only affects the person they’re targeting. Like a dog whistle.

So when Don kills off POC characters, sexualizes children, doesn’t let Devon be emotional or vulnerable, IMMEDIATELY jumped into sex in S3, trust that POC and lgbtq people and creepy mfs on Reddit know EXACTLY what Don is doing. It’s a fine line between made for mature audiences and made for creepy audiences. Like the Wren situation on TikTok.

The only reason you all defend this show is because it stimulates you, in a weird, arousal kind of stimulation way or the simple fact it’s all the representation you all really have, and you shouldn’t settle for less.

For people who get stimulated by this show; It’s gross. You’re gross. Receive therapy.

In conclusion, the Chucky series by Don Mancini is not a good show. It is a cash cow, and a lengthened fetish post on TikTok. Do what you want, but I will tell you, if you enjoy that show, it’s not just because of the representation. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[twilightrocksfanfic]

Do y'all ever think about the implications of werewolves in popular fiction like Twilight?

The way a werewolf is always someone who is poor or disadvantaged or outright a minority race?

The way people will always describe that character as savage uncontrollable and dangerous, and coincidentally its always someone who is of 'lower class'.

In Twilight when Bella sees the wolves for the first time she immediately jumps to the conclusion that they're the once killing (which doesn't make any sense because the bodies are most likely drained of blood which a medical examiner would figure out pretty easily, which also makes it really unlikely it was an animal attack in the first place).

The thought that it could be a vampire (for instance the one that just threatened her life) barely even crosses her mind.

And then when she finds out that Jacob is one of the wolves she's immediately like 'its wrong Jake' yeah you're right, that fact that this 16 year old child had his entire life altered because your boyfriend's family just didn't care how them living there influences the people around them is certainly wrong but somehow that's not what she means.

She actually has the audacity to tell Jacob that. The crazy thing about that is that the Cullens have killed, they also had no control over becoming a vampire but being a vampire wasn't in their DNA from the day they were born.

And of course, they're white and extremely rich, both things which Jacob is not.

It feels like that just implies that those aspects of his identy are inherently tied to his uncontrollability and savageness (labels given by the Cullen's, not me) and that one would not exist without the other.

When you look at other werewolves in Media they're almost always depicted as inherently wild and also, almost always, as poor and or part of a minority group.

[pumpumdemsugah]

It's very crazy

I'm not as well real about chattel slavery as I'd like to but I know a fair amount, especially about the Caribbean vs the rest of the world but it's just mental to me how this has been twisted. It went from talking about how race science was used to gender Black people as different and beastly and recognition that this is racism and fiction, to that gendering being treated as inherent attributes of our bodies so we're GNC and we need to pretend its transphobia and discard why and how Black people are seen as unfeeling animals. Slave masters spent their time coming up with reasons for how Black people weren't humans, not modern ideas around gender. Please read if that pisses you off.

Something (cis Black women experience transphobia) that's an opinion ( a shaky one imo) is being pushed as a moral imperative and necessity for Black women to see our experiences as and if you don't, regardless of your politics it means Black people that agree can dog pill you and talk about your Black womanhood in a way I don't even see white supremacist immediately jump to but this is solidarity.

It's a political stance. One I don't hold or I think is helpful, especially when you look at the crackheaded behaviour of white trans women against Black women, and how many of them happily saying " say her name " purely for their white peers but this is sisterhood & solidarity and not white entitlement? Do white trans people know more about us? Because I've not seen that. They've decided to not learn anything about us. Is that solidarity for you ? They're very comfortable bringing us up though, relevancy be damned bring out the Black trump card

The number one reason I see Black women come up, is as a jumping off point for someone white to talk about their gender feelings. Quite frankly, a lot of western white trans people hide behind the culture war attacks to avoid taking responsibility for how deeply racist they are about Black women because if everyone doesn't agree the fascist win! but isn't it funny it doesn't work the other way for us if we take issue? Unless of course that Black person is ripping into another Black person that doesn't think that view makes sense. Its then you ' listen to Black women '

I still remember this post by a white British trans woman very happily talking about how Black people have bigger bones and linking it to gender and saying Black women have male bone density so blah blah I'm valid and that's when I knew, we're political shields being used by racist to feel better about themselves cause they view us as inferior, not sisters in arms. I even read the study being referenced and it was about osteoporosis in different races of women and didn't come to a big Black bone conclusion but that if you weigh more and work outside you typically have a heavier frame, both characteristics found in the Black people that were a part of the study but Black women didn't have different outcomes than other women and lots of Black women had smaller frames but Black people have diverse bodies types like all humans, is not what this racist took from that because they needed to feel normal.

The fun thing about being a Black woman, is our issues are so fucking crazy that when we do take a stand it's extremely easy to accuse us of whatever ism. Race traitors by patriarchal Black men for talking about misogyny is a firm classic. Can't talk about Black Femicide without white supremacists using it as fodder for anti-Black racism. The suggestion Black women should be nice about either of these issues because it can be used by people that don't care about Black women is a feature of Black female oppression. There's no way to do this without pissing someone off, including Black people that think you should tread lightly

I'm related to Black men and I don't care what they think so the guilt for this simply doesn't exist and the idea i should take a stance for the benefit of white internet people is crazy lol especially one that's not backed by reading

It's historical revisionism and misogynoir

This isn't sisterhood but using the credibility and activism of Black people for white people that don't know how to defend themselves but are too fucking lazy to learn anything that's not a short post on social media.I'm not enabling laziness or white entitlement.

It's like that post where someone said vitamin C fucks with your medicine when it's grapefruit juice can fuck with your ADHD meds because of how info gets distorted online. The truth gets transformed into misinformation and what was once helpful looks nothing like it's original form

[daidonzo]

Chapter 19 - Are you strong enough to stand? [Chishiya x Reader]

Of course, you didn't know what an anti-tank rifle was.

But Chishiya did.

And it didn't seem like the time to ask questions, because dozens of people were running towards you. Some of them were also getting huge chunks of them blown off. To put it briefly.

"A gun is doing that!?" You screamed, joining the runners after two seconds of initial surprise. "Why don't we hide behind cars, if it's a gun!?"

"It's pointless." Chishiya was also running behind you, his voice… mildly agitated, maybe. Like this was a minor inconvenience in his day.

"Has the game already started?" Usagi was panting, having a much more natural reaction to the fact that some maniac psycho killer was putting holes that were about the size of your head in people. "Have they explained the rules?"

"I don't know." You felt tired after your sprint. You should have done a lot more cardio in the real world.

"There aren't rules, it's just mass murder!" Ah, that was calming. Thank you, Arisu.

"That rifle can fire from a kilometer away." Chishiya said, all of you hiding behind a building, stopping for a second to catch your breath.

"I've heard the sound of that gun before." Kuina commented, after hearing some more noises.

You blinked twice, three times. Unbelievable. "You guys can differentiate guns by their sounds? Aren't they all equally terrifying?" You wanted to scream at them, losing your nerves. You decided against it - it wouldn't be of any help.

"Now they're using an assault rifle."

"How many are there?" You asked to Usagi, who was sticking her head out the side of the structure, to see.

"They're coming this way, run!" Was the what you received for an answer. And so you did.

People were pushing you, running in all directions, screaming, crying. You weren't particularly silent either, only you were blaspheming and screaming both in your mother tongue and Japanese. You fell to the ground one, two, three times, always standing up as soon as you could, running until you started to feel your lungs would give out, trying not to focus on all the dead bodies you had to jump over.

You ended on one of the main streets leading to Shibuya, hiding behind a car with Kuina and Chishiya, having lost Usagi and Arisu on the way. Or so you thought, because Kuina saw them, on the other way of the road.

"That idiot… He's helping someone!"

You were on a particularly awful mood (which is what getting chased by a lunatic zealot does to people, honestly) and chose to keep silent, just hoping they were safe. Also, maybe not saying anything wasn't too much of a bad thing - then the crazy shooter wouldn't hear you. But Kuina stood up, and kept screaming. "Arisu, you'll die if you don't stay focus!"

You grabbed her hand and pulled her downwards, just in time, because that damned psychopath was now shooting in your direction.

"Where the hell are they shooting from!?" You asked, panicked. Was he omnipresent? Omnipotent?

Chishiya shouldered you to get your attention, and pointed towards something in the sky.

"King of Spades." He simply said, the massive zeppelin with that card flying menacingly over your heads. You looked immediately in another direction. The whole situation gave you the creeps and you felt like staring would summon him somehow.

"I have something for you two." Chishiya got out of his pocket three… Cans of soda? With some wires, and some duct tape. "A good luck charm."

"A home-made bomb?" You asked. He smirked, again, seeming impressed with and almost quite proud of you. What he didn't know is that you had been a very mischievous kid. The terror of the neighborhood. And a single child, which meant extra boredom and a plus five in creativity.

You heard shooting again. Arisu and Usagi suddenly appeared behind the car next to yours.

"We can't run, he will shoot us!" She exclaimed. You were trying to think what to do, reaching no conclusions, when you heard the sound of the horn of a car, getting closer and closer. And saw one of those old, fancy cars stopping where you were at. Ann was driving, and Tatta was in the passenger's seat.

"GET IN!" He yelled at you.

Usagi, Arisu and Kuina got in the car. You were next, running as fast as you could, which was not much. Chishiya was behind you, more waddling than actually sprinting, both his hands on his pockets.

"Could you not!?" You turned to scream at him, stopping for a second, fearing he wouldn't make it.

Only, none of you would.

A round, small, object was then thrown, landing between you and the vehicle. A hand grenade, but you didn't see it.

"Shit. DRIVE!" Chishiya shouted, pushing you to the ground, behind a car and jumping on top of you right after.

The grenade exploded, your friends left and the blonde man covered your mouth with his hand.

"Sh." He slowly lifted his hand. What was he, afraid you were going to yell at him for literally dropping you head first to the ground and throwing himself on you as if you were both a pair of WWE fighters? Of course not. He saved your life, even if he probably gave you a concussion.

Besides, you heard the footsteps. A heavy, big man, by the sound of them.

You were petrified. "Please, please, please, don't focus on us." You repeated it in your head, like a mantra.

"It's fine. We are fine." Whispered Chishiya after a while of not hearing anything or anyone, his body still on top of yours, every centimeter of them touching and pressing against each other.

You were knocking on death's door just a few minutes ago, but you still noticed.

And blood rushed to your cheeks.

He perceived it and smiled, slyly.

"Now is not the moment to toy with my emotions." You whispered, getting redder and redder by the minute and pushing him off of you, adopting a seating position. "We were just about to die!"

Surprisingly, he conceded. "You are right. We need to get out of here."

"Where are we going? The others are probably kilometres away by now." God, you hoped they were fine. At least alive and kicking.

"The only way for the King of Spades to not attack us any longer is to play another game."

"You have to be kidding me."

"I will be with you."

You clenched your teeth. It was not like you had any other option, was it?

"Fine. Which one?"

"Not so fast. We should rest, get some sleep. Otherwise we won't be clear-headed enough to play."

"I don't think I've ever been clear-headed enough to play."

He smiled at that, stood up, and helped you do the same.

"Are you alright?"

"Mentally? I need an expert's opinion. Physically? My head hurts from hitting the ground." You lifted your head to touch where it was painful, and winced. There was a growing bump. "I've been in worse. You?"

"Fine."

Both of you started walking. The immense zeppelin was going south, so you had decided to go north. Away from the King of Spades and on the way to the Jack of Hearts.

You gathered supplies on the way, and took cover in some empty apartment building, just as you did when you first joined forces.

The day turned into night.

Both of you were lying on a double bed. Chishiya was sleeping, or so it seemed, since he was lying on his back, breathing slowed, calm expression on his face, the pillow perfectly placed under the curve of his neck. He looked like an advertisement you would find in a doctor's office. "This is the ideal position for sleeping!" Unlike you, who usually woke up a tangled mess, arm below your head, neck twisted, legs bent.

But you couldn't drift into the arms of Morpheus. Worry had been creeping up to you and you had been pushing it away all day, but it was like postponing your alarm clock a thousand times in the moment - you would have to wake up eventually.

You worried about everything. Your friends, the games. Death. Your relationship with Chishiya. If the bruises on your face were subsiding and about a particularly loose tooth you found using your tongue in the back of your mouth.

So you had just been turning around, wishing you had a phone to mindlessly scroll through instagram or tiktok instead of being alone with your thoughts.

"Go to sleep." You heard Chishiya murmur, with the raspy voice of someone who had just woken up.

"I can't."

He opened his eyes, looking at you, and turned his body to face yours, waiting for you to speak.

"Do you think I'm a liability?"

He frowned.

"What makes you say that?"

"You and Arisu are super smart. Usagi runs like Usain Bolt, and can climb any surface. Kuina is like the queen of martial arts. What is my talent? How do I not put you at a disadvantage?"

"You are a jack of all trades."

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"I mean it." He didn't look like he was going to say anything else, but seeing as you remained silent, he continued. "You're intelligent, you're smart. Creative and resourceful. You always have not one, but twenty possible solutions, even before a problem arises."

You loved hearing him compliment you. You were almost purring.

"Tell me more."

"No. I answered your question, now go to sleep."

"Chishiya!" You pushed your bottom lip forward, pouting. "Can I ask another question, then?"

"Just one more."

"Are you really going to look for me in the real world? When we get out here?" You emphasized the word when, knowing he would like that. You wouldn't have used it.

He looked surprised, if only for a second. "Yes."

"But here we have a similar life, there's nothing we can do about it. In the real world, not so much… I don't even live in Tokyo permanently!"

"Planes exist."

"I just think you wouldn't like it much. Or me. Or the way I live."

You were dumping all of your thoughts on him, without a warning or giving him time to prepare.

"I like almost everything about you."

"Almost!?"

"The fact that you are not letting me sleep is quite irritating." He sighed and faced upwards once again. "I will look for you in the real world for three reasons."

"Yes?"

"One, I never lied when I said I found you fascinating, take it as a case study. Two, you wouldn't have it any other way."

That was most likely true.

"Three, I can't imagine my life without you any longer."