#but it'd sure fucking be hilarious

[metatemu]

Crack theory that the eventual plot of duel links will be Kaiba channeling timelines and shit to resurrect Atem

[eikichi-supremacy]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

[flintbian]

Someone talk me out of putting "my other car is a fucking warship" sticker on my wheelchair

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I was thinking of all the projects I want to do and for some reason after imagining all the plans for what I want to do to make my room better and like... Actually cosy to be in, for some reason my brain was like 'hey wouldn't it be funny if you made a mechanical turk based on Sunny and you ALSO got trapped when you went to test it just like the new FNaF book summary says?'

Like yeah man it would be so fucking funny if my mum was away, my dad was at work and I had to call around everyone I've ever met before giving up and having to be the idiot calling emergency services because they were thwarted by their own hubris. That'd be so funny but also brain... You do realise that if I built a mechanical turk... My phone would probably not be on my person while I tested it and I'd be stuck until my dad got home in the early hours of the morning? Like... You do realise that's what would happen, right? Bro...

[homicidal-slvt]

I want to gently grab Peter Maximoff's face squish his cheeks and go "Who's a pretty boy???" like I do to my cat.

[erythristicbones]

also after our current DnD campaign finishes up, most of our group is planning to start a new one right away, this time with Steph as DM(and our current DM as a player, but there to give her pointers since it'll be her first time dming)...and since im hyperfixating on OCs my plan is to integrate Nisha into a DnD character

[justletmeon12]

Freud talks a lot about "primitive languages" for someone who's clearly only interacted with German and English-speaking pts.

[dameronswife]

girls when poe has a personality that isn't being obsessed with a man he's had maybe ten scenes with in the first two movies and has his own agency and doesn't always agree with his mentor instead of bending over backwards to constantly say she's right (when she isn't):

[flaskoflethe]

The company I work for has a PAC - not too uncommon, what with citizens united. They sent out an email to all employees today soliciting contributions from employees. This isn't the first message they've sent out about it, there's usually 1-2 messages about this a year. But today was the first time it came and I actually had the attention available to pull down some csv's from open secrets and start looking at names and contributions.

It's really uncomfortable to see the company you work for donating to politicians who voted for the national trans sports ban. That was all I had energy to go through, the votes for one bill. Sure 60ish percent of the money went to candidates that opposed it - but the 40% that went to yea votes went to fairly vocal people. People who signed on as cosponsors in the first 20 days after the bill was inteoduced. Ones who when you Google their name + transphobia you get hits from 2016, in one case even earlier.

And that's 2 days before pride. I know complaining won't do anything. They didn't violate any ethics rules. I'm not in a role that has any policy impact. But the fact that if I say something I'm the problem, that funding people who call themselves fascists and advocate genocide isn't an issue "because that's not why we funded them?" "Funding isn't the same as endorsing."

Fuck. This is why you never work harder than you have to for the minimum, kids. Because companies do not care. No amount of rainbow-washing during pride changes that.

[zoe-oneesama]

So is the "don't remember names of daughters" a tsundere thing from Audrey or she does it unconsciously???

(also idk if you answerd this alredy but what about Zoe's dad?)

It's def not a tsundere thing, it's an Audrey thing. It's also a thing that I cannot for the life of me justify? It'd be one thing if she got her daughters mixed up with each other, with them looking on the surface similar (blonde hair, blue eyes), and having close enough names, like she did in "Adoration"...but she called Chloe "Casserole" at one point.

Hilarious, sure, but like, wtf Audrey, how do you even fuck up that badly?

And one more time for the cheap seats, this is in no way my explanation for Audrey in canon, this is purely SL's Version of Audrey. I cut out her ordering around the Butler and Andre and left out her falling for Chloe because Chloe was being an asshole to the same Butler, and obviously we never got as far as she did in "Revolution" where she was in near happy tears when her Mayor Daughter went full dictator on Paris. Just like Lila, I cut her off at the knees before she could become her true awful self, but that does not reflect on how I feel about the canon characters.

I made Audrey a tsundere to give Chloe a freaking chance.

[phoward89]

Banner by me, dividers by @saradika-graphics

Based on this ask

Love Is A Losing Game

The avox stood against the wall, waiting for you to beckon, while you sat in your sunroom with your longtime best friend, Livia. You were at a small table drinking tea and listening to her complain about her toddler, Plutarch.

“Ugh. I swear, I can't even go to the powder room without him following me.” Reaching for a biscuit, your dirty blonde friend sighed, “I told Hilarious that we need to hire a nanny, but he said no.”

She took a small bite of her biscuit as you sipped on your tea. You didn't know why she was so upset about her toddler wanting to spend time with her. And you told her so too.

“You just don't understand how demanding motherhood is, Y/N. Just you wait and see.” Pointing to your round belly, Livia factually remarked, “In a few more months when you pop out Coriolanus’ little brat you'll be singing a different tune.”

“Don't call Cassian Xandros a little brat.” You snippily ordered your friend, causing her to just roll her eyes at you. Setting down your teacup, you decided to change the subject to something that you needed to get off your chest; something that's been eating away at your mind. “I think Coryo's having an affair.”

“He's only been president for a few months, Y/N. If word got out, well, it'd be scandalous and I'm sure his political career would be dead in the water.” Livia told you while nibbling on her lemon butter biscuit. “Do you know with whom?”

“No, but I know he has to be having an affair, Livia. I mean he comes and goes at all hours and half the time he's not even coming to bed; we haven't slept together in a while too.”

“Oh no, now that is a problem.” The dirty blonde socialite sighed. “I bet it's Clemensia Dovecote that he's cheating with. You don't know, since you were a couple grades below us at the Academy, but they were always walking into the school linked arm in arm. Even though they denied it, they looked like a couple back then.” Livia bluntly informed you, picking up her teacup and sipping it.

“Really? I didn't know that.” You honestly told your friend. Reaching for your own teacup, you revealed the name of the person you thought your husband had a thing for back in his Academy days. “Coryo was always with Sejanus back then; I always got the vibe that they were a little bit more than just friends.”

“Oh I hope not. He was district.” Livia spat out; the thought of the president having a past love affair with a district person making her skin crawl.

If only she knew about what went down between him and Lucy Gray. Oh, she'd shit her pants if she knew about that.

You know, of course, since he told you about it after a year of dating. When you had to all but pull his teeth to get him to reveal why he refused to tell you that he loved you; show you anything other than lust and his OCD tendencies.

It didn't bother you.

Correction, him having Lucy Gray as his ex and his failed first love didn't bother you, but the number that she did on him- now that’s what bothered you.

She fucked his head up pretty bad; took you a long time to unfuck it up too. To get him to be able to confess his love to you.

But somewhere deep inside of your soul, you always feared that Coryo was just telling you what you wanted to hear. That he didn't truly love you; that he could turn to somebody else once he got bored of you.

“Yea…but they were close friends. Like brothers” You reminded Livia. “And his death hit Coriolanus hard.”

That was an understatement. Your husband still had nightmares about his fellow comrade’s death. It happened a decade ago, but he was still haunted some nights by nightmares. Those nights you usually had to ride his cock to calm him down so he’d be able to go back to sleep.

He never talked about the nightmares, other than the one time he told you that it was about Sejanus’ death. You never pried, knowing that the Plinth boy's execution was a taboo topic for Coriolanus.

The socialite rolled her eyes, only to suggest, “If you think he's having an affair then you should wait up for him tonight and confront him.” Giving you a look from over her teacup, she added in, “It's what I would do.”

Coriolanus was exhausted. No, wait, take that back- he was FUCKING exhausted.

Between trying to clean up the fucking mess that older then dirt President Ravenstill left for him and trying to ensure a smooth transition of head gamemaker duties to his successor (a recent University grad that sadly didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground), he was stretched too thin.

Burning the candle at both ends as one might say.

He was barely sleeping; worse he was barely able to spend anytime with you.

You were 6 months pregnant with his first child.

A son.

He felt guilty for being in his office on the opposite side of the presidential palace or at the Citadel, but he didn't have a choice. The games along with trying to keep the country afloat was his top priority.

As much as he wanted to spend his late afternoons and evenings with you, he couldn't. And he wanted nothing more than to fuck you dumb on his dick every night too, but sadly he was just too tired anymore for that either.

When the new Head Gamemaker calls up in the middle of the night frantically asking what to do if an intern falls into a mutt tank…well…yea…that's when Coriolanus knows he has to do two jobs instead of just one.

He's stuck puppeteering the new head gamemaker *cough* telling him step by step how to do is damn job since he fucking fudged his job application and has shit for brains *cough* and running a country that's national bank account’s lower than it should be *cough* looks like President Ravenstill and his cabinet were embezzling funds or something cause the numbers aren't adding up *cough*.

“Yes, well, if you need any more assistance on this matter don't hesitate to call.” Coriolanuse tightly told the Head Gamemaker. The man was grating on his nerves. Before the unqualified idiot could utter a word, the president said goodbye and hung up.

Hung up with a firm, loud, clunk since he was so tired and aggravated.

Unfortunately, the president was always tired anymore. He was even too tired to fuck you these days, which was truly depressing for him since your Coryo felt you were even more beautiful now that your belly's round with his child.

Coriolanus felt that your pregnancy makes you look radiant. Your skin had a glow to it, he felt you look ethereal.

Your tits were full from the milk your body was making in order to feed your son once he was born; he loves your milk heavy boobs. Coriolanus Snow’s a tits and ass man; so your boobs going up by 2 sizes was heaven for him. The president enjoys sucking and massaging them in his large, calloused hands while you ride his cock. Burying his face in them, peppering kisses in your cleavage.

Something his exhaustion has been keeping him from doing.

Also, your ever growing belly (full of the precious life you created during a very passionate and lustful night 6 months prior) made his chest swell with a burning pride. Coriolanus loves kissing your stretch marks and running his hands all over your belly.

He also enjoys whispering to your belly, telling your growing son all kinds of father-son secrets.

But he’s been too tired and tied up with his never ending work to do that ritual.

Half the time he was passing out on the sofa in his office before he could even make it to your room; the other half of the time he was sliding into bed in the wee hours while you were in a deep sleep.

He hated it.

But he has to endure it because he refuses to have the games flop during his first year as President of Panem.

When Coryo dragged his feet into your large, ornate bedroom he wasn't expecting you to be up, waiting for him. He assumed you'd be asleep, like every other night.

“It's nearly 2 in the morning, Y/N. Why aren't you sleeping? You know you need proper sleep in your condition, my darling rose.” Your husband lectured you, tiredly fumbling to untie his tie.

You decided to do what LIvia suggested. Wait for your husband and confront him. So, when he shuffles into your room, a sight for sore eyes, with the nerve to lecture you about being up, you lost it.

Your eyes narrowed at the president as you snipped out, “Coriolanus, I know you're cheating on me. Who is she? Is it Clemensia Dovecote or somebody else?”

Pulling his tie off and tossing it to the side, he looked at you as if you had lobsters crawling out of your head. You’re accusing him of having an affair. Seriously?

“With how I’m spread too thin, darling, where would I ever find the time for an affair?” Coriolanus chuckled.

He thought this was funny, oh how dare he!

“This isn't funny, Coriolanus! You're coming and going at all hours; we never sleep together anymore. Who is she?!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, watching your husband unbutton his waistcoat and take it off.

The platinum blonde’s long fingers numbly unbuttoned his shirt. His tone was flat and tired as he gave you the blunt answer of, “The she that's taking all of my attention off of you, my love, is the shaky finances of Panem and the Hunger Games.”

All of the air was knocked out of your lungs upon hearing your husband's words. All you could do was blink. “What?” you whispered in disbelief.

Coryo's shirt hit the floor, in the pile his red waistcoat and tie was in. Toeing out of his shoes, he sighed, “Being president and passing the baton for the games to an under qualified head gamemaker, unfortunately, has taken up all my time.” Unbuckling his belt and pulling down his deep crimson pants, he offered up a sincere apology of, “I’m sorry, my darling rose, that my neglect made you think, even for a moment, that I’m being unfaithful to you.” His pants pooled around his long, pale legs, and he gracefully stepped out of them. “Y/N, I truly did not mean for you to feel such a way, my love.”

Watching your husband pull off his socks and toss them to the side, you cried tears of joy. “I forgive you; I'm just happy that it's work taking up your attention and not some whore.”

Coriolanus tiredly made his way over to the king-sized bed you shared and climbed into it. Pulling you into his arms, he let out a puzzled scoff of, “Clemmie? Really, of all people to accuse me of having an affair with it's her?”

“I didn't accuse you of cheating with her; that was actually Livia this afternoon when I told her that I suspected you of having an affair.” You informed your husband as he pulled the blankets over the both of you.

“You told that bitch you thought I was cheating on you?!” Coryo exclaimed, his nostrils flaring; baby blues wide in utter horror.

“Don't call Livia a bitch, Coriolanus.” You reprimanded your husband, only to remind him that, “She's my best friend.”

“I don't know how you're best friends with that shrew, darling.” Coriolanus mumbled mostly to himself, even though you heard him. His large, calloused hand rubbed your ever growing baby bump softly. “Telling Livia your ill founded fears was a mistake. She'll just tell that political reject husband of her’s; he'll be calling up Capitol News 6 with a juicy insider story about the unfaithful president.” Coryo’s tongue popped angrily. “My fake affair’s going to be the the main news headliner tomorrow morning, my darling rose.”

“No, it won't, Coryo.” You assured your husband since you had too much faith in your best friend.

Your husband on the other hand didn't have faith in Livia Cardew-Heavensbee, at all. No, he didn't trust her after the temper tantrum she through when her mother informed her that he was courting you, General Prometheus Byzantine’s step-daughter, and had refused to meet with the Cardews regarding a money match.

Coriolanus never told you about that because he didn't want to taint your friendship with the dirty blonde shrew, who only married Hilarious because she couldn't have him: the adoptive heir to the Plinths fortune.

But now maybe it was time to tell you. Maybe it was time to taint and ruin a girlhood friendship of yours.

Only to ensure that you wouldn't trust anyone that didn't carry the Snow name.

Yes, the only people you could trust were him and Tigris. He was even leery about Tigris’ new lover, Aleka. Eh, but that was because his spies haven't been able to dig up enough information on them for the president to decide whether or not they were trustworthy.

But, he's sure that after he tells you the truth about Livia that you'll be rethinking that friendship.

And when (not if) that article hits the news as the big headliner, he'll make sure to invite Hilarious over for drinks.

Drinks that only one of them will enjoy.

Snow lands on top and he'll make sure that anybody who slanders his good name or makes you believe he's an unfaithful man, when he's actually the most devoted and faithful husband in all of Panem, chokes on their own blood.

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen, @poppyflower-22, @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops, @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi, @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri, @aoi-targaryen , @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch, @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons, @qoopeeya, @mfnqueen1

[humiliatemeplesse]

Ya I had to have you over to see this man. This faggot's been coming over here a few times a week now, he massages and sniffs my sweaty socked feet, can you fucking believe that? LOL I was walking home from dinner one night and I walked by that fag bar on South Street and it was out front drunk and told me I was hot when I walked by it. I stopped to punch it in its fucking fag face and then it said it'd pay me to go in the alley and sniff my socks. I was like, what the fuck but it was serious. He said twenty five bucks for fifteen minutes and I said fifty and the asshole agreed! LOL So it pays me the fifty up front and we go in the alley and it lays on the filthy cement and asks me to take off my shoes and step on its face. I'm like, I can't fucking believe this! So fifteen minutes later I'm like, your time is up faggot and I start putting on my shoes to go, I was gonna give it a good kick in the face before I left, then it asked me if it could do it again sometime. I couldn't believe the balls on this fag! Another guy might have killed it by this point. I thought about it for a second and I said sure faggot, but you're gonna have to pay me every time. It said oh yes please and was fucking drooling and desperate and thanked me blah blah blah. It was pathetic and hilarious at the same time. Anyway I made a proposal for it. It comes here once a week and cleans my entire house and pays one hundred dollars and it gets to sniff my stinking socked feet after that. It was fucking thrilled and said yes so it started coming over once a week. Now it's so fucking desperate to sniff my socks it comes over two or three times a week. One hundred dollars each time. Cleans the whole place one time and straightens up everything the other two times. I sit back and relax with a beer and get my house cleaned and then watch the game and make one hundred bucks just for letting this fag sniff my stinking socks! LOL Fucking pervert, it's hilarious. Easy way to make extra money too. So I thought I'd have you over and let you know and see if you wanted it to pay you too to sniff your socks. Easy money bro! Hahaha! And we'll have a great time laughing at it too. You in? Fuck ya, great! faggot, go get that extra hundred bucks and give it to my friend, you got two pairs of sweaty socks to sniff now! Fucking fucked up freaked out perv faggots man! LOL!

[xxsweetoothxx]

THE CIRCUS IS ON TOWN!

Was gonna make them height accurate but then realized. I don't fucking KNOW all their heights so I didn't.

Designs from left to right are My own @zucchinitart @sweetpayaso @creeps-and-pasta @ellzilla and @the-art-ghost

These are only some of my favorites that I always thought looked fun to draw and because I been in an art slump. Was really hating my style for a whole so k thought I'd throw it back to something more similar i did with my Toyfolk art which takes Inspo from a lot of the cartoons I grew up with (not sure how obvious it is which ones but if you can tell than AYYYYYY)

Hilariously the ones I thought would be most put if my comfort zone ended up being the easiest to draw!

I do plan to draw some clown interaction just because it'd be fun. I have a few ideas for some :o)

[cinnamonest]

I feel like the "your son's best friend wants to fuck you" trope is right up your alley. Imagine a character non conning their friends mom and telling her not to snitch because it'd be so humiliating for her son

AAAAAAAAAAA ANON, imagine the son just slowly catching onto something being off, he just doesn’t know exactly what. Sure, they were already supposed to meet up after school at his house, but why is his friend here before even he got there…? Why do you always keep your gaze to the ground these days? Why does his friend suddenly have this smug aura about him, always talking down to him? What’s with the weird tension between you two? His friend did do the standard “your mom is hot” comment once (which he quickly hit him for), maybe you heard that and don’t like him now? He just doesn’t know, but he can feel something is wrong.

He has no idea that virtually on a daily basis now, you’re getting bent over your own countertop, railed by this horrible horrible boy who whispers in your ear how much he’d love for your son to walk in right about now. He intentionally pushes it as close as he can to when your son is supposed to get home, trying to get you to panic. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Imagine the look on his face. The shock and betrayal and fury… and oh how he’d love to gloat about it, tell him just how good his mommy feels, how warm and tight her insides are… maybe if he takes just a bit too long, he’ll get his wish in reality…

[semisolidmind]

That anon made me think about a hypothetical scenario of Peng trying to move up on Reader, but tbh I don't think Peng would EVER stand a chance against the twice as bad AU monkey husband duo.

Azure contantly gets the L but he is nice to Reader + he's friends enough with the two warlords to not make them immediately consider killing him if he treats Reader a lil too nicely in the beginning.

He's suspicious but he's a likeable guy, so it's not too weird of him to be genuinely polite to the queen of FFM.

Peng, though? bro's getting COOKED. literally. He's not slick like Azure, if he tried anything it'd be over for him. He's a bird-shaped mean girl, so it would immediately draw suspicion on everyone if he suddenly started being super nice to Reader after being so vocal of his disapproval towards a human queen.

I bet Wukong and Macaque (especially macaque since peng likes antagonizing him so much) would love to have a reason to destroy him in a fight 💀

FR.

like, this feathery fuck could make that mental and emotional switch from "ugh, mortals" to "but this one's kinda ok/how funny would it be to steal her" and you can bet the boys (but mostly macaque) would be on them in a second. there is no way they wouldn't clock the birds' intent the minute the bastard sidles up to reader. they sorta trust azure, they're fine with yellowtusk, but the monkeys KNOW that you canNOT trust peng.

any time the bird has the chance to get reader alone, macaque makes sure to be there or at least within striking distance. he knows reader doesn't trust peng either (and why would she, after their history of shit talking and belittling her), so he's not worried about her falling for any smooth talking, but he is worried that they might cross a line.

i could see this situation coming to a head with peng making some sort of big move on reader, mac hears it and stops it, then challenges them to a fight (like a serious challenge, to the death kinda shit).

and while wukong wants to make that bird into a roast as much as his brother, he knows that it'll be important for macaque to beat the shit out of peng by himself. despite knowing how dangerous the monkey bros can be, peng continued to poke and prod and test the limits of macaque's patience. the monkey king won't deprive his brother of getting to serve some well-deserved comeuppance. in fact, he makes a sort of show of it, announcing the fight and inviting his allies to watch.

the battle is a brutal one. normally wukong is the one to fly into a jealous rage at any slight against reader, while mac is the one to keep a cool head. but this time, the shadowy simian lets aaaaall that carefully controlled anger out in a truly vicious display of power. the bird demon has a tough time keeping up with their rival's attacks. though both combatants take some heavy hits, it's clear that peng is losing.

like. macaque could beat peng to death here, and there really wouldn't be anything anyone could do. the bird broke a rule. they pissed off the wrong demon at the wrong time. given their history, nobody has any reason to stop macaque from slaughtering his rival, and it'd be within his rights to kill them for disrespecting his wife. wukong finds it all far too hilarious to do anything but laugh at peng getting their ass handed to them, and reader knows it's going too far but won't speak on peng's behalf (both because she doesn't like them and she feels like she has no right to deprive mac of his revenge).

azure would have to beg a pardon on behalf of his stupid chicken of a sworn brother before they actually die.

wukong is hesitant to grant it. azure knows what that birdbrain did. they laid hands on the monkey king's queen, and he knows wukong has killed others for far less. that miserable pile of feathers should consider themselves lucky that the monkey king hasn't joined in on their punishment. if azure didn't want his lackey to get beaten bloody, he should've kept them in check. not to mention the fact that peng has had this macaque-issued beat down coming for a loooong time.

by the end of it, peng is nothing more than a crumpled pile of bloody feathers in the dirt. azure and yellowtusk have to scrape them off the ground and portal back to camel ridge in disgrace and defeat. they don't show their faces on flower fruit mountain for a good long while.

as for macaque...despite being clawed, tired, and a little bruised, he reigns victorious. in his adrenaline induced stupor, still covered in dirt and blood, he storms right up to reader and steals a nice, long kiss. it leaves her lightheaded, his hands on her the only thing keeping her up. he huskily promises that they'll "celebrate his victory" later. reader feels a little faint.

wukong would normally protest his brother getting peaches all to himself, but after that fight? eh, he's earned it.

[a-mere-dream]

I think it'd be hilarious if Shen Yuan transmigrated into, say, Qing-generation disciple era as Shen Jiu's twin, and he's doing his absolute best to make sure his brother doesn’t get suspicious of his changed behaviour--and it's working. As far as he knows, Jiu-ge suspects nothing!

Meanwhile, a reincarnated post-PIDW Shen Jiu is doing the exact same, trying not to let on how he has no fucking clue how to act around this random guy with his face (he isn’t meant to be a big brother! Is this feeling genuine protectiveness?? Ew, what the fuck, stop it--)

So they just awkwardly shuffle around each other, both feeling like they are doing so fucking well, look at that idiot, he suspects nothing.

A-Yuan speaks a strange language? Okay, why the hell not, it's not like Shen Jiu knows what the boy learned while travelling with Wu Yanzi. Jiu-ge's skills are up to par with fully grown Cultivators? Yeah, sure, that makes sense--he'd have been a very boring villain if he sucked at everything.

It takes literal decades until they finally realise the truth.

Bonus points if Yue Qingyuan has been shot here from a svsss-adjecent timeline, is undergoing about twelve Revelations a minute, and is vibrating from the sheer excitement that comes with getting to dote on the 'new' version of Shen Qingqiu that he's grown fonder off than he ever wished to without that meaning he has to give up on his history with Shen Jiu. It never once occurs to him that the Shen twins don’t know what is going on.