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starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago

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Clone Danny: Dan interlude 7.5

i'm writing this because im struggling to come up with the next part to the clone danny au. however I have had many thoughts about our resident evil man. So if anyone remembers part two of this au, I mentioned that I wanted to make Dan's circumstances a little different than canon, considering Danny's circumstances were different. I'm not sure where I got the idea that Dan wouldn't be inclined to destroy the world after his creation, but i'm sticking with it because I love to explore new things in aus. So 👏 DAN and i swear i might end up calling him a different name because ong i cant stand the name Dan

so. Dan. Dante? I like Dante. but i'll call him Dan for the time being. So: clone danny is not a halfa, right? not really at least. he has a core and he has the ghost sense but nothing else. big difference in canon already since there's no 'ghost half' for vlad to rip out like in canon.

Danny's family is DEAD. disintegrated [exaggeration] in a nasty burger explosion. so he's. bruce wayne levels of depressed. real bruce wayne-core

Vlad, instead of offering to tear out his ghost half, instead offers to try and find a way for Danny to be safely reunited with his family in the afterlife

(he's lying. he's gonna try and make danny a halfa)

Ofc, Danny with his ghost-core obsession being family-based, agrees. he's desperate and depressed. ripe for the picking

Vlad gets everything set up. But turning a human into a halfa is risky risky business, a 1-and-100 chance to happen successfully

so. Danny dies in the experiment. painfully. and he comes back immediately as a ghost. essentially murdered

and ye gods is he PISSED. Vlad lied to him. Vlad lied to him. Danny is a family-obsessed ghost and Vlad lied to him about his family and then he killed him

Vlad is a dead man

Danny doesn't just kill Vlad, he destroys him. He never merges with his Vlad's ghost half because he doesn't want power he wants him fucking dead.

SO dead Vlad is.

now where does this leave our precious, freshly ghosted, full-of-rage Daniel Fenton?

not destroying the world thats for certain. and, well. that's not to say that Danny couldn't go on a blind, grief-stricken rage that results in him becoming the walking apocalypse. he could totally still do that

do I want to do that? well, i don't hate the idea however I personally enjoy the idea that I came up with in the alternative

with Dan no longer a one-ghost-apocalypse, how does he become Danny's TUE? My solution: time travel. Danny doesn't go to the future to go see him, Dan comes back to the past to go see Danny.

i am not partial to the idea that ghosts age over time. So for the last ten years Dan has remained as a dead 14 year old kid the entire time. I like to think its more tragic that way.

At some point during those ten years, Dan figures out that time travel is real. And he becomes obsessed with figuring out how to do it so that he can go back in time and take his past self's life and get his family back

Yeah. a real Miguel O'Hara right here folks

Dan succeeds in his time travel, and suddenly the Phantom's nightly patrol is being interrupted by a ghost that is... unsettlingly similar to him.

Dan knows himself better than anyone. When he finds out time travel is real, he spends his time researching it and growing stronger. He needs to be as unpredictable as possible. He knows that his past self will be in his prime as the Phantom and will be used to adapting to unpredictable and seemingly invincible enemies. He needs to be able to beat that

So. Dan and Danny fight the first(1) time

Danny gets his ass handed to him

Dan reveals himself and goes on a villain monologue. Dan's ghost form is different than in canon, since its a close replica to Danny's Phantom gear. The only difference is that Dan's white CJ Mask has black tear streaks down from the eyes that are blotchy and smudged. As if he'd been crying ink. There are a few other subtle differences too, like Dan has a few trinkets that are motifs to his family, but i can't think of what without cluttering up his outfit

Dan can't kill Danny, unfortunately. As its his past self. Killing him would result in Dan ceasing to exist. However he can imprison him or overshadow him. Dan overshadows him, and Danny goes under.

This is chalking up to be more traumatizing for Danny than I thought

Danny is only partially conscious during the overshadowing. It's like one of those weird vertigo dreams. something is wrong but he doesn't know what

And it's actually his friends that help realize that something is wrong. Dan may be Danny, but its been ten years since he last saw his friends. Something has to give. Whether it be the subtle strangeness in his behavior, a dip in his humor and morality, or the way he speaks like he's reminiscing.

This idea is diverging more from canon than i thought, but Danny does eventually kick out Dan and defeat him. But its right before the nasty burger explosion. Danny can't make it in time, but Dan does. A very sudden save that Danny wasn't expecting and is confused about

Danny eventually meets up with Dan later that night to interrogate him, and brings Sam and Tucker with. They find out his whole tragic backstory

And the few days Dan has had with Sam and Tucker and back with his family have kinda reminded him what he was like before his death and before rage and grief took over his afterlife

He's kinda mellowed out slightly -- or at least snapped out of his obsession mostly.

they talk. Dan talks about what happened in his timeline. probably breaks down and cries, allowing him to properly process the grief he's been avoiding for the last decade

there's no forgiveness yet. Dan overshadowed Danny (terrifying him in the process and realizing that despite everything, there are still things that ghosts can do that Danny's not prepared for. he needs to prepare), tried to take over his life, and was all around violent and cruel to him out of jealousy and desperation. However, there is a chance of redemption

Dan doesnt want to go back to his time. his family isn't there. he's alone. he doesnt want to be alone. he's fourteen years old and dead

but... but he knows he doesn't belong here. his time with the fentons has passed, and he has an afterlife to look into. he can't... cling to the past. and its a voice that sounds like jazz saying this in his head

"you can visit" danny says after a moment, seeing the fear on dan's face. he's a bleeding heart through and through, even if he resents Dan just a little bit for what he did "you know how to time travel, right? I don't think there's any harm coming to visit"

"or," tucker says, "we can visit you! you can show us your time! i want to see what technology is like in ten years"

Dan... looks hopeful. and they mean it too. yes. visiting... that makes him feel better. "if Vlad gives you trouble don't be afraid to tell me" he offers in turn, and smiles wide and toothily. much too wide for a human. "i'll be happy to handle him again"

Danny makes a mental note to never let the two meet. "i will"

and Dan disappears

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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 4.5 (Dani interlude) Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.5 (Dan Interlude) Part 8

Masterpost

Taglist: @the-navistar-carol @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @gin2212 @youracearocroatneighbour @luckybyrdrobyn @deeplyconfusedbear @epilepticnerd @beautifulmomenttodrawblank @sara0055 @blusunkhild @letmesayfuxk (?) @latheevening226 @tkiesai @rosedasy @meira-3919 @igotafewbadideas @princessbelix @cyber-geist

#danny phantom #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danny fenton is a clone #dpxdc #dp crossover #dpxdc crossover #'i love to explore new things in aus' is starry speak for:#im allergic to following the blueprint i have to make an idea my own or i get hives #my college bed is currently hurting my back so im staying up to write this #stay tuned i may just make my 'danny is a jason todd variant' au public if im awake any longer #so i went to bed before i finished this SO if anyone shows interest in my jason todd variant au in the tags or the comments #then i will still make it public #dan is such a nonthreatening name and i know thats prolly the POINT but oh god do i still hate it #Neil or Dante is what i've been calling him #or Wraith / Rath #atsv spoilers #just to be safe with that miguel ohara line?#redemption is a slow and painful thing #Dan cries when he returns. really cries.#and Danny goes home and starts figuring out a way to prevent overshadowing #he has nightmares for weeks afterwards #I want a Dan and Danny friendship #see an alternative ending: Dan stays in the present and (eventual) twins Danny and Ellie become triplets Dante Danny and Ellie #we have dan and ellie and dan and jazz #i want to see a dan who becomes fiercely protective over his past self and joins the scary dog club with one Eleanor Fenton #not seen: Dan(te) moves to gotham and accidentally befriends 30 year old Jason Todd and eventually becomes part of the wayne family #danny has to go to the future and tell dan that they're clones #when Dan's in the past he's Dan but when he's in the future he's Danny and vice versa

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yesterdays-xkcd · 7 months ago

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I first saw this problem on the Google Labs Aptitude Test. A professor and I filled a blackboard without getting anywhere. Have fun.

Nerd Sniping [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Black Hat is sitting on a chair, Cueball is standing next to him. Across the street, another Guy is coming from a building walking towards the pedestrian crossing across from Black Hat.] Black Hat: There's a certain type of brain that's easily disabled. Black Hat: If you show it an interesting problem, it involuntarily drops everything else to work on it.

[The Guy across the street is about to enter a crosswalk, which is seen from right behind Black Hat in his chair, holding onto the sign, which is still pointing down. Cueball is looking on.] Black Hat: This has led me to invent a new sport: Nerd Sniping. Black Hat: See that physicist crossing the road?

[Black Hat lifts up the sign when the physicist is in the middle of the street, halfway across the pedestrian crossing.] Black Hat: Hey!

[A close-up of Black Hat's sign is shown in a frameless panel. There is text above and below an image of a four-by-five grid of nodes with resistors (shown as wiggly lines) between every node and also continuing away from the 16 outer nodes. A total of 5 columns with 5 and 4 rows with 6 resistors for a total of 20 nodes and 49 resistors. Two nodes, a knight's move apart, are marked with red circles in the 3rd row 2nd column and the 2nd row 4th column.] Sign: On this infinite grid of ideal one-ohm resistors, Sign: what's the equivalent resistance between the two marked nodes?

[The Physicist has stopped pondering the questions, a hand to his chin.] Physicist: It's... Hmm. Interesting. Maybe if you start with... No, wait. Hmm... You could—

[In another frameless panel, a ten-wheeled truck is zooming past from the right, apparently going through the spot where the physicist just stood.] Truck: Foooom

[Cueball looks down on Black Hat, who looks back up from his chair at the curb, again holding the sign down. He lifts one hand up while replying.] Cueball: I will have no part in this. Black Hat: C'mon, make a sign. It's fun! Physicists are two points, mathematicians three.

#xkcd #xkcd 356 #nerd sniping #2000s #2007

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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 month ago

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October Letters: Franz Kafka

Excerpts from Franz Kafka's letters to Felice Bauer:

13 October 1912

And do letters really get lost except in the mind of one waiting for them and unable to find another explanation?

But why haven’t you written to me?

I write this letter not so much in the hope of a reply as to discharge a duty toward myself.

23 October 1912

At least I now know that, even if letters get lost, I am allowed to write to you.

I am restless and cannot pull myself together; I am in the mood for continual and, as it were, circular complaining, although today is no longer yesterday; but the accumulation will overflow and liberate itself into better days.

24 October 1912

Of course it is impossible to tell me everything, but then everything is impossible.

On the contrary, I was relatively content to feel I was being left alone.

So many years went by without a word from you, and now it looks as though another month of oblivion is to be thrown in quite unnecessarily.

27 October 1912

I can be more cheerful, but not today; the rain has deprived me of my Sunday walk; spent—which only seems to contradict my first sentence—half the day in bed, the best place for sadness and reflection.

Shall I get up and stop writing? But perhaps you can see through it all that I am indeed very happy, in which case I can stay here and go on writing.

Out in the street I lapsed at once into one of my not altogether unusual states of semitrance, when I see nothing clearly, except my own worthlessness.

29 October 1912

I wish you would let me know about all this in five lines, so that rather than having to write and think about it any more, we could look at and listen to each other calmly, without self-reproach, you in your goodness and understanding, I in the way I must.

Thinking that I may have deprived you of a walk, that again is intolerable.

31 October 1912

I read the letter once, put it aside, and read it again.

With warmest greetings, and I kiss your hand, if that is permitted.

29 October 1913

At a certain depth, though not at the deepest, there is nothing I want more than to be swept toward you.

But this is not all that’s going on inside me. My longing for you is such that it presses on my breast like tears that cannot be wept.

For weeks past I have been making plans for Christmas, in an effort to scrape together the sum total of happiness at the last moment.

In the seminar yesterday I stared at a girl for an hour because she bore a faint resemblance to you.

Late October 1914

Needless to say, I am ready at your first call, and would have replied without fail and by return to your earlier letter if I had received it.

In me there have always been, and still are, two selves wrestling with each other....

This is how it is, Felice. And yet they are locked in combat, and yet they could both be yours; the trouble is that they cannot be changed unless both were to be destroyed.

01 October 1916

Rotten, rotten night, partly your doing—dream doing.

28 October 1916

At one point I had to stop reading, sit down on the sofa, and weep.

It’s years since I wept.

16 October 1917

When I said: “So you are here? I was looking for you everywhere,” you answered: “But I heard your voice indoors only a moment ago.” Except for a few insignificant words we hardly spoke to each other again, although we continued to stand on the steps for quite a while, gazing out over the Ringplatz.

You were unhappy about the pointlessness of your journey, about my incomprehensible behavior, about everything.

I was not unhappy. “Happy,” on the other hand, would have been a very false description of my condition. I was tormented, but not unhappy; I did not feel the whole tragedy as much as I saw it, recognized it, and diagnosed it in its immensity which surpasses all my strength (my strength as a living man at least); and in this knowledge I remained relatively calm, my lips shut tight, very tight.

Excerpts from Franz Kafka's letters to Grete Bloch:

29 October 1913

And as I am sure you realize, there is confusion enough within me.

15 October 1914

You do say that I hate you; but this isn’t true. If everyone were to hate you, I wouldn’t hate you.

In fact I was sitting in your place, which to this day I have not left.

Excerpts from Franz Kafka's letters to Milena Jesenská:

22 October 1920

I'm also sure I'll stay in Vienna and that we will see one another.

Now it's almost certain I will leave.

27 October 1920

After that we were one, there was no more talk of knowing one another, and then once again we were split.

For the first time in years I was in bed as early as 9:45.

I was almost sad when I didn't see it Monday.

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iisasarcasticlittleshite · 2 years ago

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Hi hi! I was wondering if I could request bakugou reacting to male reader who likes wearing skirts beating up someone for making shitty comments(most likely mineta) like readers in a pretty ass skirt just fully wailing on someone. If you’re not comfy writing this that’s totally okay! Love your writing <3

I'm so sorry this took so long! I started reading ACOTAR and it's just consumed my life at this point haha.

Hope you enjoy, and thank you so much for the ask!

Bakugo will always advocate for you wearing whatever the fuck you want, because whatever the fuck you want, usually looks hot as hell.

You've always had a certain...swagger about you. Not full of yourself just, quietly fabulous. Even in your school uniform, you just look...good.

The blonde's shameless eyes have a habit of wandering to you whenever he gets the chance, slowly growing to love the way you style your hair, noting which accessories you favour.

In second year, you started painting your nails, and he soon clocked your favourite colours and started wishing you'd let him paint them for you.

His attention is more obvious than he thinks it is, and you're not ignorant to Katsuki's lingering eyes. You preen each time his eyes linger for longer, swaying your hips with extra swing when he walks behind you.

Still, Katsuki doesn't act any different around you. Rough around the edges as always.

Summer this year was kicking everyone's ass, training in this heat was getting ridiculous, and wearing trousers all day was downright torture.

Katsuki was busy melting into the couch, regretting the extra workout he'd tried to get through that morning. It was saturday, most people with any sense were sleeping through the worst of the heat, but heroes don't get to turn on the AC before kicking ass.

His explosive sweat glistened on his forehead and he contemplates getting up to shower.

The heat, and the previous week of exams has the dorms pretty quiet, so Mineta's obnoxious screech of laughter is far too loud to Bakugo's ears.

'Dude! You know you're wearing a skirt right?!'

Bakugo felt anger rise in his gut like a reflex, he doesn't even know who Mineta's making fun of, and he already wants to drop kick the little shit.

'Skirts are for girls, what're you-'

'Shut your face, blue balls.'

The sound of your voice has Katsuki sitting bolt upright, craning his neck to see you standing in the kitchen doorway, wearing a read and black plaid skirt and a black crop top, doc martins half unlaced on your feet.

Mineta's face is red with laughter, and Katsuki growled as he saw the menace reaching for his phone.

Laughing, making fun of you. Katsuki scowled dangerously, ready to jump to your defence just this once, because damn do you look good, he doesn't give a fuck what people say you can't wear.

Turned out, he didn't need too.

You slid one of your chunky rings off your finger while Mineta wasn't looking, and flung it, with pin-point accuracy, at the top of the tiny demons head, missing his "hair" to clock him right in the temple.

Katsuki watched your ring skid across the room, sliding into the carpet at his feet as you unleashed hell on Mineta, unknowingly drawing attention.

'Now listen here, dipstick, it's not my fault your masculinity's so delicate you feel threatened by a damned skirt and the colour pink. Go project your insecurities on someone else.'

Kirishima claimed how manly you were and soon dragged Sero and Mina into scolding the little shit while you went looking for your ring, now in Kastuki's hand.

The blonde stood as you approached, the skirt gently brushing your bare thighs, and he's suddenly a little jealous of that piece of fabric.

'Oh, thank you for picking it up.' You smiled brightly, knowing full well where his eyes have wandered as you held your hand out for the ring.

Katsuki gulped, placing the warm metal in your waiting palm, letting his fingers linger over your skin as he stepped past you, lips brushing your ear as he suddenly pressed himself dangerously close to you.

'You're welcome, hot stuff.'

You gaped, left blinking at the abyss of the empty sitting room, while Katsuki, smug, roguish Katsuki, chuckled at your back, grinning all the way to his room for a much deserved shower.

#boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia x reader #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x male reader #fluff #my hero academia x male reader #male reader #m4m #ask me anything

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vee-beeee · 1 year ago

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Fun Times At the Station

HELLO

Im back with another short an fluffy one :)

Premise: Fun times at the station :D

Warnings: cringe like SUPER cringe behavior BE WARNED, fluff AGAIN, diet light swearing, connor being a cutie pie

Mean girls reference ahead

(living for a lil protective connor)

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Another boring day at the office.

Well as boring as it can be at a police station.

Today had consisted of just desk work so far, and you were settling in to work overtime to get all of it done. You had already come at the crack of dawn, before anyone else was there, to get started. You sighed as you reclined slightly in your chair, taking a chance to peer over at a certain android.

Your favorite android in fact

The RK800 prototype, Connor

The first time you saw him was during the height of the deviancy. You were one of the investigators on the Ortiz case, and saw him trailing behind Hank at the front door. He looked like a lost puppy, but then it morphed into a more determined expression as he saw the body. You watched him walk around and analyze evidence, and at one point he even came up to you to ask some questions about what you thought.

You remembered thinking "why is this smart, basically super computer guy asking ME what I think?" you had answered of course, but he could tell you were confused.

Even Connor didn't know why he talked to you. He had noticed you staring at him when he entered the house and still felt your gaze watching his form as he scanned and analyzed evidence.

He honestly had no clue what drove him to do it, but looking back, he's glad he did. It essentially started your friendship. He knew one thing, and that was when he did walk over to you and questioned you, he got a software instability notification in the corner of his vision. Wonder why.

You remembered that day fondly, how sweet he was with you, his cute little face, it was so refreshing after being around that gruesome death.

And then you realized you had been staring off into space, which had coincidentally been right next to his face. His very confused face.

Anddddd now he was walking towards you.

"Detective? Is everything alright?" he tilted his head as he asked, His LED blinking amber. You saw his eyes flicker briefly down your body you and realized he was probably scanning you. You snapped out of your trance to respond to him.

"Oh yeah Connor, I'm so sorry I was just staring into space." he raised his eyebrow at you, but eventually nodded and adjusted his tie. You watched him walk past your desk and into the break room, which was a little strange. You exhaled, sliding down your seat and tried to go back to work at this awkward angle. But you couldn't get into it, you felt like someone was staring into your soul. So you sat up and looked over the edge of your computer and saw non other than Hank staring you down. He had an smug expression plastered all over his face. You flushed and looked back down at your computer, and you could barely see him out of the corner of your eye moving with quiet laughter. You grumbled and started typing.

It wasn't your fault Connor was so cute! It was cyberlife! They totally knew what they were doing, making all his freckles and cute eyes and..

"Detective?" you whipped around as a gentle hand rested on your shoulder. Connor was standing with what looked to be a coffee and your favorite snack.

"I was wondering if you wished to take a break? Working for this long can cause the human body to falter." You literally almost cried. He was so so sweet. You were so flustered by him, that the response you had prepared, a tie between cool and great came out jumbled up and mixed around. Future you would be haunted by it for the rest of your life out of embarrassment

"Grool"

You froze and Connor raised his eyebrows in surprise, but then a soft chuckle filled the space around you. He was laughing. You made Connor laugh.

He's chuckles slowly lessened but he still had a lingering smile on his face. He took both items into one hand and held out the other for you to take, and you gladly accepted. You picked yourself up and realized as you were walking to the break room that he didn't let go of your hand

"Detective your heart rate just picked up. Are you okay?" you stopped and stared at him gawking a little as he looked smugly into your eyes. Was he teasing you? he was totally teasing you.

"Im fine! Also, sidenote, grools a totally real word you know" you knew your argument was garbage, Connor was literally the most advanced android and knew basically everything, including the English language, but you guessed messing up had one advantage. Connor squeezed your hand and led you to the break room, filling the hallways with his and yours small chuckles.

After you had that break with Connor, (which had been filled with him and you talking about anything and everything) , he got a report and informed you that both of you were assigned to interrogate a guy accused of selling red ice.

Here you thought today would be easy.

You and Connor put your serious caps on and joined Hank and a pissed off Gavin in the observation room. On the other side of the one way glass was a sweaty looking guy who was gazing right into the mirror. You shivered at his look of determination and defiance, and all of a sudden you felt Connor's hand graze your own and wrap his pinky around yours. Okay, situation forgotten, you need a minute to swoon over Connor.

(What you both didn't see was Hank looking down at your hands and smirking)

Unfortunately, Gavin had other plans than let you swoon.

"Y/N why don't you go in there and try to talk some sense into this guy. He's been annoying the hell out of me since we picked him up." Gavin glared at you and rolled his eyes away when he saw how close Connor was. Luckily you were standing at an angle so he couldn't see your fingers, which would have inevitably lead to more comments.

Speaking of that cute little pinky holding thing going on, you really didn't want to let go. But Connor nodded at you and unhooked his finger, giving you a small reassuring smile which made everything better.

"Okay ill go and question him, but keep an eye on that guy" you turned to look Conner in the eye while saying that last part and he tilted his head, LED flashing yellow.

You stepped into the room, door hissing shut behind you, and tried greet the man, but he wasn't looking at you. He was still looking at the glass. Staring deeply into it, as if he could see someone's reflection.

What he didn't know, was that he was blindly staring at Connor.

And Connor was staring back.

You cleared your throat and started off by reading him his rights, and then explained to him why he was here. When you mentioned the red ice he rolled his eyes and finally turned his head to face you.

"I don't know why everyone keeps saying I'm selling red ice. Have you even found any at my own damn house?

You sighed and looked him up and down, your knee shaking slightly, but keeping a straight face. "No, we haven't." His face fell back into a smug grin. Time to risk it for a chocolate biscuit. "Buttt.. we were tipped off that you might have a storehouse somewhere filled with the stuff. Mind telling me where that is?"

He wheezed out and turned his full body in his chair to look at you.

"If you think I'm going to tell you where that is, your dreaming." He then started leaning his weight over the table to stare you down. "They also shouldn't have sent in a little thing like you to question me."

You shivered, but held eye contact and didn't back down. Connor balled his hands up in the observation room and continued to stare down the guy. Hank turned and gave him an eyebrow raise, seeing his angered state. Connor turned his head slightly to acknowledge him but didn't dare take his eyes off the guy. He needed to be ready to move. The man continued to sit there, slinking back into his chair and with a look of victory. He thought he won.

When really you had.

"So you do have a separate storehouse?"

His face instantly paled.

You leaned back and crossed your legs. "We actually didn't know that. Thanks for the new info." you stood up and walked out of the room while he blubbered, door closing shut after you. Stepping back into the observation room, you were greeted by 3 faces beaming at you.

You instantly got embarrassed, not liking this new attention you were getting and you absolutely panicked. And then said the worst thing EVER.

"I don't mean to toot my own horn, but toot toot" you made a motion with your arms to go with the toot toot, and to top it off your voice cracked as you said it going high pitched. And then you just stood there. Cosplaying as a tomato.

Hank looked like he was going to cry and burst into laughter, and Gavin sighed and shoved you on his way out the door, hollering out a "And just when i thought you were cool" as he strode down the hallway.

Connor knew one thing while he watched you awkwardly stand there and pat Hank on the back as he wheezed from laughing so hard.

He liked you. Like-liked you. A lot.

And when Hank had left to go back to his desk, you and Connor were left alone.

"That was very impressive detective." he murmured as you looked up into his eyes, and your lips twitched

"My imitation of a horn or the interrogation?" Connor chuckled, taking your hand into his and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, LED glowing amber. You let him do so and gazed into his eyes as you both leaned closer, inching forwards.

"Both"

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SORRY FOR THE KISSY KISS CUTOFF

I SWEAR ill try to write a kiss scene sometime, but im so not confident enough to do that yet.

I hope you enjoyed this fluff fest, im still working on banter so if it comes off weird forgive me, this is like me 4 week of writing.

THANKS FOR READING

hope it wasnt cringe for yall

sorry for spelling an plot holes lol

#dbh connor #dbh connor x reader #dbh rk800 #detroit become human #dbh hank

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readyforthegarden · 11 months ago

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Breakable Heaven - Part Five

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Female Reader

Synopsis: Being the maid of honor in your best friends wedding is already stressful enough without the best man being the ex-boyfriend who tore your heart to shreds. Stumbling across a dating app with dates for hire, you take a chance, inviting a perfect stranger to pretend to be your boyfriend for the weeklong celebrations. But how long can the charade last when the champagne starts pouring and feelings start growing?

Warnings: mild sports violence, talks of betrayal and cheating, drinking, kissing, finger-licking (idk any other way to describe it, yall will see what I mean), 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

A/N: I have played flag football exactly once in my life so parts may/will not be totally accurate but I did my best so...enjoy lmao sorry it’s a day late!!

WC: 6387

You woke up in better spirits the next morning, Danny felt. When he walked by the bathroom after getting dressed, he had to pause, you were humming the chorus to Heat Above, and he peeked into the room. You were standing in front of the mirror, finishing up your second French braid, one already done on your left side. Your fingers twisted and weaved the strands of hair effortlessly as you hummed, as if muscle memory from years of practice.

Danny suddenly wanted to ask you where you learned, had you been a little girl at sleep away camp? A cheerleader who learned on the bus on the way to an away game? Or was it time spent with your mother who told you stories as she braided, as you sat in front of her cross-legged on the floor. He wanted to know everything you would tell him about yourself, craved it, nearly. Danny didn’t realize he’d been caught staring until he realized you’d stopped humming.

“Sorry,” he blushed slightly, feeling like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He met your eyes in the mirror with an apologetic smile.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” you replied, twisting your hair tie around the end of the braid, securing it tightly. Turning you blinked up at him. “I drooled on your pillow last night.”

Danny laughed. After coming to bed, he slid in on your side, realizing his was completely taken as you snuggled into his pillow. The smell of your lavender shampoo and conditioner had surrounded him and lulled him into a more restful sleep, thanks to his conversation with Sam. When he had woken, it was to a small, yet pleasant surprise. You had rolled again in your sleep this time coming back to your side, and you had snuggled close to Danny. He had woken up to your legs tangled with his. Your toes had been cold, like you had them out of the blanket at some point in the early morning.

He took care to make sure they were warmed before he untangled himself from you, feeling more certain that Sam was right with his hypothesis. He shook himself from his thoughts as you spoke again.

“Actually I wanted to say sorry for how I acted last night.” You sighed, rubbing your arm anxiously. “I wasn’t upset with you or anything. I guess…I guess I just feel like we’ve gotten close in the past few days, and when I mixed up Jake and Josh, and you said it’s okay as long as it’s not to their faces…” Danny watched as you bit your lip, avoiding eye contact as your cheeks heated up. “It just reminded me that I’ll never meet them. After this week, there’s no reason for us to be together.”

“Oh honey,” Danny sighed. There was a small pang of sadness that friendship was the only thing on your mind, but he decided that friendship was better than nothing at all. “We can still hang out after this is over. I would love that.” he watched your eyes light up.

“Really?” a small, hopeful smile graced your face.

“Yeah, really.” Danny chuckled. “You’re not like any other I’ve worked with. Now come on, we gotta finish packing for our camp out.”

There was a small tingling in your chest when Danny told you that you weren’t like any other he’d worked with. You’d come to terms earlier that morning that part of the reason you would miss Danny was that you had started to develop a small crush on the young man. Talking yourself through it in your head, you convinced yourself it was just because of the act the two of you were putting on. Danny was a brilliant actor, and it was like being back in the high school theater club.

Once this weekend was over, you’d lose the crush on Danny and it would be a beautiful friendship. Once you were back in your own bed in your own apartment, you would realize it was just a silly little moment, nothing more than a passing fancy.

By the time the two of you made it down to the lobby, two vans were waiting, overnight bags being tossed into the back of each. Danny had slung yours over his shoulder and went to load it up when Olivia came around, laying a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey,” she looked slightly perplexed. “Gavin and Naomi are riding in our van, are you going to be okay with that? I know seeing her yesterday wasn’t easy.”

“I’ll be fine.” you shrugged. You watched behind her as Danny came back around the van, smiling and laughing at something Mila, another bridesmaid, had said. “I won’t be alone.”

“I’m really happy for you,” Olivia mused after she turned to see what you were looking at. “I know the breakup with Gavin was rough, but you seem to be really, really happy with Danny.”

“I am, yeah,” nodding, you felt a blush creep up your neck and to your cheeks. You were, as it turned out, happy with Danny, even if the relationship was fictitious. He was turning into a great friend, at the very least.

“And the way he looks at you? I’m the one getting married and my fiancé doesn’t even look at me like that!” Olivia giggled. “Really, I’m honestly getting a little jealous.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying not to seem as confused as you were. Olivia rolled her eyes, turning and looking at Danny again before coming and standing beside you.

“I mean that,” she said, nodding out to the small crowd by the van. You followed her gaze, only to see Danny looking at you from under the bill of his hat, a soft smile pulling into a crooked grin as he caught your eye. “That man is head over heels for you.”

“Stop,” you shook your head. There was a part of your heart that leapt with excitement at her words, wanting to believe that your small crush was reciprocated. But you knew better, he was doing his job, playing the role you hired him to.

“Babe, if you ask me? I think you’ll be walking down the aisle next.” Olivia’s eyes twinkled, and you could practically see her shifting into planning mode again.

“Don’t hold your breath,” you laughed, and Olivia frowned. You had meant it as a small joke to yourself, knowing this relationship would end shortly, but she took it as hesitancy from your past.

“You can’t think like that.” she stepped in front of you again. “Not every guy is Gavin. And Danny seems different. You told me he was yourself.”

“Yeah,” you gave her a small, reassuring smile.

“Alright, let’s load up!” Mike called out. Everyone dispersed to their vans. Danny let you get in before joining you in the middle, making Gavin and Naomi take the far back. Thomas and his wife climbed in next to him and you squeezed in towards the window.

Mike got into the driver's seat, Olivia next to him in the passenger. He started the van and you watched as the vineyard passed by you slowly. Next to you, Danny was plugging his earphones into his phone, opening up the music app from the night before. Catching you look, he held out the right earbud in his large palm, gesturing for you to take it. Placing it in your ear, he did the same with the left one.

“Can we listen to more of your band?” you asked softly. Danny smiled, nodding and looking them up again, pressing play and shuffle. You grinned, turning back towards the window, watching the scenery pass by. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement, and glanced over to see your knee moving up and down as you tapped your foot along to the beat. There was a smile on your face like the night before when you listened to Heat Above and Danny found himself lost in watching you experience his work.

He looked away, trying not to be caught spying on you yet again, but it was too late. In the rearview, Olivia’s bright eyes were twinkling up at him, a knowing smirk on her face. Danny blushed, focusing back on his phone screen before staring out the windshield, avoiding the mirror at all costs. However, he could keep his eyes from you, especially when you started nodding your head to The Falling Sky.

Danny imagined what it would be like for you to see him play live. If you would enjoy it as much as you seemed to be enjoying the recordings. His imagination led him to see you in the stands, where friends and family typically sat, and he had to bite back a smile as he thought of pointing his drumstick to you, much like Jake would occasionally point his guitar towards his partner, and the smile on your face as you watched him play, and play for you.

The vision of you backstage, running towards him after a show, excited to congratulate him and jumping into his tired, sweaty arms made his heart thrum in his chest. The kisses you would pepper all over his face, telling him how wonderful he was and how you couldn’t wait to get him home.

You’d made it through most of his discography before the van was stopped on a wide field. There were tents already set up, a large fire pit in the middle of the circle a few feet away. The turning foliage gave a breathtaking view you would never forget in your life. Danny stood next to your side, looking out towards the woods, the same glimmer in his eyes.

“I love the fall,” you sighed. “I wish it would look like this all the time.”

“Agreed,” Danny nodded.

“Alright, we have a few activities planned for the day!” Olivia clapped her hands excitedly, drawing the attention to her as she spoke. “Go put your things in your tents and meet over by the field in ten!”

You and Danny made your way to the back of your van, and you waited for Danny to hand you your overnight bag, but he slung it over his shoulder with ease as he also carried his own. Picking a tent in the middle, you undid the zipper, ushering Danny inside before following him. You expected something of Olivia’s tastes, somehow she would weasel an actual bed into the tents, bedside tables, the works, but you were surprised to see merely a full sized air mattress, a sleeping bag adoring it with two pillows.

“This’ll be cozy.” Danny chuckled to himself, letting the overnight bags slide off his shoulders and onto the polyester floor of the tent. Nodding along, you sighed, feeling how hard the chilly ground was under your feet, even through the tent.

“I haven’t been camping since I was a little kid.” you admitted. “And it was girl scout camp so…it wasn’t even close to this.”

“Really? No roughing it in the girl scouts?” shaking your head, Danny laughed.

“Most tents at the campgrounds I went to were up on platforms, off the ground. And we had cots.” you laughed. “Boy scouts definitely had it rougher.”

“Yeah, we were out foraging for food, eating pine cones and hunting squirrels.” Danny made himself look tough, flexing his bicep.

“I’m so sure,” rolling your eyes, you moved to the open flap of the tent, stepping out. “Well who knows, we may need your survival instincts tonight.”

“I think I still have some hunting skills in me.” Danny followed you out, and the two of you walked back over to the field Olivia had pointed out earlier. Still talking about hunting, Danny was poised as if he were shooting a bow and arrow as you came upon the rest of the group lingering around.

Mike walked up from his and Olivia’s tent, wearing red, super short-shorts, with a white t-shirt tucked into them. His socks were pulled up his calves and a whistle hung around his neck. In his left hand was a clipboard, in the other, a bullhorn.

“Oh no,” you grimaced as he stood in front of the group and raised the bull horn to his lips.

“You all must be wondering why we’ve brought you out here from that luxurious hotel to a field in the middle of nowhere.” Mike said, his words echoing loudly. “On Saturday, Olivia and I will come together in holy matrimony. But today, we are two individuals, and we are competing against each other for the ultimate prize.”

“A blowie on the wedding night?” one of the groomsmen called you, making you roll your eyes as Olivia flipped him off.

“No, Logan,” Mike shouted in his direction, glaring. He turned back towards everyone and grinned. “Bragging rights on whose side of the wedding party was better.” Olivia took the bullhorn from Mike, grinning.

“Bridesmaids, obviously.” She gave Mike a gentle, playful shove. “We’ve devised a few games that pit the bridesmaids against the groomsmen. Dates, you are allowed to play, but you have to play on the side you came with.” Danny nudged you with his elbow, whispering a little ‘hello teammate’ before turning back and listening to the rest of Olivia and Mike’s spiel.

The games of the day were flag football, blind volleyball, and of course, beer pong. After a few moments, you were suited with a belt, three neon red flags hanging off it. Danny had matching ones himself, grinning while you swiped your thumbs across the tops of his cheeks, leaving eye black in their wake.

“There, now we look like professional athletes.” you laughed under your breath. Danny took his baseball cap, turning it around so the bill was in the back and nodded.

“Let’s go kick some ass!” he urged.

“That’s the spirit!!” Olivia cheered, clapping her hands. “Let’s demolish them!” Lining up on the field, you stood next to Olivia, ready to play offense. Your best friend was mean-mugging her own fiance, both of them talking shit to one another.

“Why do I feel like this is just weird foreplay for them?” Danny whispered to you as they shook hands, winking at one another.

“It probably is.” you replied with a shrug. “You have to leave their house after game night if you don’t want to have nightmares fueled by their moans.” it was Danny’s turn to grimace, sticking out his tongue like he tasted something sour. Shaking it off, he got back into formation, looking down the line of groomsmen. As his eyes traveled, they met with Gavin’s, who flickered to you and back him Danny, narrowing slightly. Danny mirrored the action, a sudden overwhelming urge to make this game a contact sport bubbling up in his stomach.

“Set, hut, hike!” Mike called, starting the first play. The movement on the field was fast, everyone getting the competitive edge as the game started. Somehow you ended up with the ball, running towards the opposite goal from where you started. A thrill ran through you as you dodged Thomas’ outstretched hand, trying to pull one of your flags, a shrill excited yip leaving your mouth as you jumped out of the way.

You surprised yourself, making it to the endzone of the field, throwing the football down onto the ground and raising your arms above your head as you and the rest of your team cheered. You were lifted into the air, Danny’s arms wrapping around you and lifting you up.

“Bridesmaids one, groomsmen a big fat zero!!” Mila lifted up her fingers in the shape of an L to her forehead, making faces at the groomsmen.

“Lucky shot.” Gavin called out. Danny couldn’t help the glare that he shot over to the man as he set you down. “Haven’t seen you run like that since junior year in college, when you streaked across the frat houses yards.” Danny moved to speak in your defense, but was surprised when you cut him off.

“Yeah? Well someone had to have the balls in our relationship, didn’t they?” you didn’t stay for a reply, instead turning with so much purpose your braids flicked out behind you, nearly whipping the air as you moved. Danny smirked at Gavin’s shocked face, raising his eyebrows challengingly before following you back to the center of the field.

“Streaking, huh?” Danny leaned down, snickering in your ear playfully.

“Like everyone else, I made choices in college, some good, some bad.” you shot him a small glare. “Most were under the influence of Jager bombs.” Danny laughed before getting back into position, and continuing the game.

It was a little while later, one flag dangling from your belt as you’d gotten “tackled” the second time you were in position with the ball. The play was called and you ended up with it again, tucking it into your body and bolting across the field. You felt it before you saw it. Something catching your ankle and forcing you to tumble to the ground, the ball falling out of your grip and rolling away.

“Out!” you heard someone call. “She’s out!”

“You tripped her!” rolling onto your back, you pushed yourself to a sitting position, watching Danny point angrily at Gavin as he rushed over to you.

“She fell when I grabbed her flag!” Gavin defended. “Not my fault she’s clumsy as hell.” Danny knelt next to you, looking over your body.

“You okay?” he asked softly. Reaching up, he wiped some dirt off your cheek.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled. “My ankle doesn’t feel great.” Danny moved his hand to the ankle you pointed to, gently squeezing. You felt a small jolt of pain, as if he were poking a bruise, and you winced.

“I swear to god if she has to wear a cast in my wedding I will make you regret being born!” Olivia threatened Gavin off in the distance.

“Okay, let’s get you to the sidelines, honey.” Danny maneuvered himself into a crouching position, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and taking your waist with one of his, lifting you up.

“It’s not that bad,” you protested as he moved you. Trying to put your weight on it for a step, you sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth. You quieted down as he brought you to a camping chair next to a cooler filled with drinks and water, helping you sit. Thomas came over, taking a look at your ankle, using his medical background to see how bad it was.

“I think you’ll be okay,” he assured you. “Just a minor sprain, more like a rolled ankle. You’ll have to try and stay off it for a little bit.” Frowning, you looked up to Danny who was glaring towards where Gavin was getting a talking to from Mike while Naomi looked pissed and annoyed off to the side. Reaching out, you took his hand, tugging it and bringing his attention back to you.

“I’m fine,” you told him again. “I’m just going to have to sit out the rest of the games.”

“He tripped you,” Danny shook his head, his brows knit together in the middle of his forehead.

“And he’ll never hear the end of it from Olivia and Mike, I promise.” Danny sucked his teeth as the game started back up, becoming more upset Gavin was still in the game.

“He wants to make this a contact sport, he’ll get a contact sport.” Danny mumbled to himself, shaking his hand loose of yours and jogging to the middle of the field. Gavin wasn’t going to get away from what he did unscathed. Danny could hear his mother in his head, reminding him in her kind voice that an eye for an eye solves nothing, but he shook the adage away. While it wouldn’t solve much, it would provide Danny with satisfaction for the time being.

The play started, and just as he wanted, Gavin got the ball. Danny dashed after the other man, weaving in and out of the other players before launching at Gavin, reaching out for his two remaining flags, tearing them off and knocking the man hard to the ground in the process.

“What the fuck?!” Gavin growled as Danny stood back up, grinning with the flags in his hands.

“You’re out.” Danny replied simply. “Not my fault you’re so clumsy.” Danny tossed the flags to the ground before joining you on the sidelines, catching his breath.

“Danny,” you stared up at him.

“He deserved it.” was all Danny told you before picking up a bottle of water from the cooler. While the show of masculinity should’ve made you upset and roll your eyes, you instead felt flattered that Danny stood up for you like that. You would have to have a conversation with him that it couldn’t happen again this week, you didn’t hire him to fight your ex. Just to make being around him more bearable.

You sat out from the rest of the games, getting up a few times to walk when Thomas would advise it. By the time beer pong was over, it was getting dark, and most everyone had gathered around the firepit back at the tents, roasting weenies. You had gotten up to walk a bit, Danny watching carefully as you did a lap around the tents before coming back.

The autumn night air was chilly, and in your thin, long-sleeved t-shirt you were becoming susceptible to the cold. You had dipped into the tent, searching through your bag before realizing the hoodie you thought you had packed was still laying on the hotel bed where you set it down to make sure you’d packed your toothbrush and toothpaste.

When you came back from the tent, you were visibly shivering, even with the fire roaring in front of you. Without thinking, Danny stood up and pulled off his sweater, the soft material still warm from his body, and handed it to you.

“Put that on,” he insisted, tugging down the black t-shirt he had worn underneath it. The cream and black sweater was calling to you, practically steaming with warmth as you took it.

“Won’t you get cold?” you asked, holding the sweater in your hands. Danny shook his head.

“I packed another sweatshirt. You wear this while it’s still warm, and I’ll be right back.” You began to pull the cozy sweater over your head, threading your arms through the sleeves, basking in Danny’s leftover body heat. Danny came back from your tent a few moments later, tugging a black sweatshirt over his head before putting his hat back on, backwards again. He sat down on a camping chair, taking a beer from Thomas, who was passing them around. You went to find a seat yourself when hands took your waist, pulling you backwards.

Your bottom came into contact with something firm but soft, and you turned slightly to see Danny smiling at you, having tugged you onto his lap.

“Best seat in the house, honey.” he threw you a wink before sipping his beer, making your cheeks heat up. Danny could say multiple truths at this moment. One, that he did it because he wanted to keep you warm. Two, that he did it because he wanted you on his lap so he could hold you. And three, that he did it because Gavin had been staring at you off and on all day, and he wanted to remind the dick who you were with.

As the evening wore on, skewers were passed around, along with the fixings to make smores. Danny kept a hand on your hip as you leaned forward on his lap, holding your marshmallow over the fire. You twisted the metal skewer slowly, allowing the marshmallow to brown evenly. The sleeves of his sweater had been pushed up to avoid any mess, and he couldn’t help but revel in how good you looked in it.

“Okay, is everything ready?” you leaned back, turning on his lap. Danny nodded, picking up the graham cracker adorned with a large square of chocolate. Placing the toasted marshmallow on top, you took the other part of the cracker, using the edge to scrape the melty goodness off the metal and onto the chocolate before setting the skewer down on top of the cooler next to you. Taking the small dessert, you squished the crackers down, letting the marshmallow ooze from the sides, coating your fingers.

“You’re making a mess,” Danny laughed, taking one of your hands. His original idea was going to be grabbing a napkin for the sticky fingers you now had, but as he caught Gavin looking at you from his peripheral vision, he brought them to his mouth before looking back up at you, gently sucking the marshmallow off each one. In the glow of the fire, he couldn’t tell if you were blushing again, but your eyes were wide enough to tell him that if the sun had been out, your cheek would be even redder than before. He was quick and discreet with his movements. Someone would’ve thought, if caught, that he had just been giving quick, small kisses to your fingertips, over before it even started.

“T-Thank you,” you stuttered. Taking your hand back, you ignored the heat in your belly, whether from embarrassment or the sudden swirl of feelings that stirred up for Danny, you weren’t sure. You focused on taking a bite of the smore, biting off the corner of the small cookie sandwich. Humming to yourself, you enjoyed the delicacy, not having had a smore since you were at least a teenager, maybe younger. Turning, you silently offered it to Danny.

Danny looked up at you, ignoring the offer and instead leaned forward, tilting his head up and pressing his lips to the corner of yours. You could feel the warm tip of his tongue glide over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. When he pulled back, his eyes sparkled mischievously.

“You had a little chocolate there,” his crooked smile made your stomach fill with butterflies as he leaned forward again, now taking a bite of the dessert you had originally offered him. “Mm, honey, you make a perfect smore.”

“Only for you, lover.” you replied, a smirk on your lips. If he could lay it on thick, so could you. Something lit behind Danny’s eyes and the hand that held your hip tugged you back into him a bit more firmly. You took another bite of the dessert before taking the bottle of beer out of Danny’s hand, licking your lips before taking a swig to wash down the sweetness.

Danny watched you as you did it, something setting fire to his stomach. Maybe it was the way you took the bottle without asking, as if he really was your partner and it was common place to share drinks with one another. Perhaps it was the way you’d licked your lips before pressing the mouth of the glass bottle to them so confidently.

Whatever it was, Danny found himself completely smitten as you handed the bottle back without looking, leaning forward to talk to Mila about her debacle with her bridesmaid dress alterations. It happened a few more times, you taking swigs from Danny’s beer, as if it was the most natural thing to do. Which for lovers, it should be. Instead of your friends surrounding him, he imagined it was his. That Sam was telling you some story and you were leaning forward to listen to him, maybe Rose was at your feet, waiting for a secret graham cracker treat you’d sneak to her when Sam finally looked away. You would fit in so well with his friends, he decided.

It wasn’t until bed that you and Danny really spoke again, both facing opposite sides of the tent as you changed into pajamas. You were walking better already, but were still trying to keep your full weight off of your ankle, so you took a little extra time.

“Thank you, by the way,” you turned your head softly, just enough to make sure he heard you, but not enough to see anything as he changed.

“For what?”

“Well, while I don’t condone what you did to get back at Gavin, I’ve never had someone stand up for me like that before.” you tried to fight the smile at the memory of Danny practically tackling Gavin to the ground, but failed.

“He’s an asshole,” Danny snorted quietly. He’d been done changing, waiting for your okay to turn around. “I don’t mean this as an insult, but I feel like he was one of the bad choices you made under the influence of those Jager bombs.”

Grimacing to yourself as you tugged the warm sweater Danny had lent you back over your head, you nodded.

“The Jager definitely didn’t help.” you adjusted the hem of the sweater. “Okay, I’m good.” both of you turned around, smiling softly as a small lull filled the gap between you both. “So, you have a tattoo?” you asked, glancing down at his covered bicep. “I saw it earlier, when you gave me this sweater.” Danny smiled.

“Yeah, two of them.” he turned and showed you the back of his ankle, where a thin, dainty rose was resting.

“I never noticed,” you told him. “The rose is beautiful, what’s the one on your arm?” Danny went into an explanation, talking about the moon phase he was born under and what the lines represented. “Wow, that’s really cool.”

“Do you have any?”

“Mm, no.” you shook your head. “I wouldn't mind getting one one day, but I don’t know what.” you and Danny continued your conversation softly, getting into the sleeping bag. The bag was big enough there was a good deal of space between your bodies. You were both laying on your stomachs, talking quietly in the dark, pillows bunched under your chins to prop yourselves up a bit.

“You know all about my ex,” you mentioned. “Can I know a little about yours?” Danny sighed softly. “You don’t have to, I’m sorry I even asked.”

“No it’s okay,” Danny shushed your apology. “We just were clashing a lot. She would be upset that I was gone for long stretches, playing shows and touring with the band, and then would be upset if I took time off, because that meant money was going to get tight. Really, I think she loved being my girlfriend more than she loved me.”

“She’s an idiot.” you murmured, making Danny laugh softly. “What? How could she be loved by someone like you and take it for granted? You’re fake in love with me and I feel spoiled rotten.”

“There’s this scene of people, when you’re in the music industry,” Danny started, resting his chin on his pillow and looking straight forward at the back wall of the tent. “They want to be around you for what you can give them, they want the status of dating a ‘rockstar’” Danny lifted his hands up in air quotes. “But they don’t want to deal with the actual lifestyle of being away from each other for long periods of time, or working late or when you just want to stay home for a night after going out and being followed and stalked by crazy fans.”

“It can’t be easy,” you replied back, “I’m sure you don’t want to leave someone you love either.”

“No, especially after finding out that they cheated on you with one of your buddies while you were gone.”

“What?!” Danny shushed you, and you covered your mouth as he chuckled slightly. “You too?”

“What can I say? We are kindred hearts.” your hand moved on its own, claiming a home on top of Danny’s closest one.

“Want me to body check her?” Danny laughed, turning his hand over and squeezing yours.

“I appreciate the offer, honey, but she left town with her tail between her legs, moved back to her home state and I haven’t heard from her since.”

“Well good,” you yawned. “But if she comes back, it’s on sight.”

“Duly noted.” Danny laughed again. The two of you talked for a little longer until you started drifting off, rolling over with your back to Danny. He himself drifted in and out of sleep, every sound outside the tent snapping him awake. On one such occasion, he heard a small shudder, looking around as it sounded close, like a small animal had gotten into or was trying to get in the tent.

Looking around, he furrowed his brow, trying to see in the dark after having his eyes closed for a while. It wasn’t until he looked down that he realized the sounds were coming from you. You were shivering again, Danny now could feel the movements on your side of the sleeping bag. Your teeth chattered softly, and he finally caved.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Come over here.” You turned, looking at him. “Come closer, you’re freezing.”

“I’m f-fine.” your chattering gave you away. The sleeves of his sweater were pulled over your hands as you sleepily mumbled.

“You’re not,” Danny shook his head. “I don’t mind, come on.” he watched you battle something behind your eyes before you shuffled over, pressing yourself into his chest. You sighed at the warmth, feeling it spread through you slowly as he reached behind you and zipped the sleeping bag up more, closing it up.

“So much better,” you murmured into his chest, feeling his hands rest themselves on your back, rubbing up and down slowly. Danny felt you nuzzle your nose into his sweatshirt, smiling softly as your body stopped quaking, the muscles starting to relax.

“I think your braids aren’t helping, you need to keep the heat in. Do you mind if I?” Danny gently tugged in one of the ends of the braids, and you shook your head. His long fingers took the hair ties out, sliding them onto his wrist before they undid the plaits, working up to your scalp. You would be lying if you said it didn’t feel amazing, his warm fingers gently grazing along your scalp, undoing the weaving and fluffing your hair out around you. Once he was satisfied with his work, his arms encircled you again, hands running up and down your back.

“Just think of that hot stone massage tomorrow,” he whispered. You moaned softly, imagining the warmth on your spine, following the path Danny’s hands were taking. “Nice and warm, soothing.”

“Mmm,” you felt sleep start to come to you, weighing down your eyelids as you burrowed as close as you could to Danny. The last traces of his cologne rested in his clothes, and the heady aroma of cedarwood and linen cushioned your slumber. Danny kept talking, faint whispers floating around you, sounding more and more distant as time slipped by.

Danny felt your breathing even out, yet he was content to stay as he was, keeping you warm. Glancing down, he pressed a soft, sweet kiss to the top of your head. The act caused you to stir slightly, and he froze, waiting for you to wake and ask him what that was, but instead you only adjusted your body, tangling your chilly ankles with his warm ones.

Throughout the night your bodies entangled more, and Danny’s own sought to keep the warmth it was so freely giving. When he awoke, he was flat on his back. However, you were flat in your front, splayed out on top of him, snoring lightly into the crook of his neck. One of his arms held you there, the other behind his head as an extra cushion.

His body felt tight, and a stretch surged through him before he could stop it, his body shifting and jostling you awake. Your eyes opened, looking around disorientedly before they came to focus on him. A sleepy smile graced your features as you looked down at him.

“G’morning,” Danny’s voice was filled with sleep still, slightly gravelly, rumbling from his chest, the feeling was something you wanted to memorize. He, on the other hand, was memorizing your smile, the way your wavy hair had frizzed slightly in the night.

“Morning,” yawning, you propped your chin on his chest. Danny’s hand came up from your back, twisting a strand of your hair. The now loose wave spun around his finger effortlessly.

“I like your hair like this.” Danny murmured. As you opened your mouth to respond, a soft smile forming around your words,, someone rapped their fist against the fabric of your tent.

“Up and at ‘em!” Olivia’s voice sang out. “We have appointments!” sighing, you removed yourself from Danny, your body missing him instantly. Danny felt the loss just as badly, and had you been his really, he would’ve pulled you back to him, hunkering down into the warmth and never coming back up for air.

Packing up, everyone piled their things back into the vans. Danny offered you an earbud again, and this time you let him play whatever he wanted, just happy to ignore Gavin and Naomi in the backseat. Getting back to the vineyard, Danny took your bag along with his, carrying them up the stairs for you.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower, then I have to meet Olivia downstairs for the spa.” you told Danny once back in your room.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Mike asked me to run into town with him. We should be back before you guys are done, but just in case I’m still gone, I promise I didn’t just run off.” you smiled.

“You’re the last person I would think to do that.”

“Good,” there was another small silence, yet it didn’t feel awkward at all. You left it at that, heading into the bathroom to wash the camping events off of you. You were almost sad, taking off the sweater Danny loaned you, knowing you’d have to give it back. Folding it gently and setting it on the bathroom counter, you finished undressing before stepping into the shower, wondering if there was any way you could possibly bargain with Danny to keep it after the weekend was over.

Taglist: (feel free to add yourself!)

@joshsindigostreak @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine @ascendingtostardust @sammysprincess @sammykiszkamyass @belovedsamuel @sunfl0wer-power @indigo-starcatcher @sammyscherub @earthlysorrows @allieisacrybaby @losfacedevil @xserenax-13 @sarakay-gvf @shutupdevvie @myownparadise96 @watchingovergvff @gretavanfleetposts @josiee-gvf @joshkiszkatoothgap @madneedshelp @gardensgatedaisy @demonrat444 @dannyandthekiszkas @tearsofbri @paleshadow-ofadragon @happy-harpy-stuff @like-a-woman-in-a-dream @starshine-wagner @objectsinspvce @josh-iamyour-mama @mountain-in-springtime @cal-a-bungaa @capturethechaos @gvfpal

@allybjt @hippievanfleet @weightofbrokenbells @joshkiszkasbadussy @malany-gvf @ruby0antlers @samofthedawn @sacredjake @aim4thedoublee @diditallforyouu @gvfmarge @highladyofasgard @sammysvanfeet @gold-mines-melting @earthgrlsreasy @mountain-in-springtime @forcebond301 @stardust-and-shadows @llightmyllovee @gretavangroupie @comesofarsomehow @infinisonicosm @indigofallingsky @hellowgoodbye @hearts-hunger @fwzco @dharma-divine33 @lightsofthe-living-gvf @ascendingtothestarsasone @klarxtr @ofthecaravel @musicspeaks @radmads-gvf @the-starcatcher @shineforever19 @earthgrlsreasy @demonrat444 @misshunnybee @valleydollgvf

#danny wagner #danny wagner x reader #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #breakable heaven fic #danny gvf #danny wagner fanfiction

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thatswhatsushesaid · 10 months ago

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"i hate [character name] so much! they're clearly the villain! they oppose the actions of [protagonist]! why do people like them so much!"

if this sounds like something you might write, i need you to understand that sometimes, two different people can read the same piece of fiction, and walk away from the experience with two very different interpretations of the text. and neither person is wrong. even if one of those people is the author, actually.

"but [character name] is the antagonist, ray. are you stupid or something? do you know what an antagonist is? we are clearly meant to side with [protagonist] and accept that their experience is the morally correct one. not doing this is an incorrect reading of the text and contrary to authorial intent."

please picture me very tenderly and patiently taking your hands and looking deeply into your eyes. are you picturing it? ok good.

i do not care.

specifically, i do not care about authorial intent unless i have been specifically asked to help a writer clarify their intentions in the text. because once the text is finished and out there on bookshelves or ready to be purchased via your e-reader of choice, the text must speak for itself. if i wasn't meant to find an antagonist character as compelling and sympathetic as i do, then that's a problem for the author to solve in the rough draft of their next work, or a revised edition of the existing work. author commentary on a completed work of fiction is just that: it's commentary. it can be considered when assessing the completed work itself, but it is not part of the completed work. it exists as part of the conversation about the completed work, and carries as much weight in that conversation as any other piece of well-researched analysis out there. and if i find evidence in the text that contradicts what the author is saying in their commentary, well! 🤷‍♀️ looks like that one didn't make it past your editor! the story says what the story says! better luck in your future endeavours etc.

"but how can you dismiss the author's intentions like this? if they say that they meant for us to interpret the events in the text a certain way, shouldn't that matter? even if what they write is different, we should respect what they say they MEANT to write."

i mean, sure, i'll level with you on that point as a writer myself: it sucks when you spend a lot of time on a project and believe you've effectively told one story, only to share it with your beta readers and discover, much to your shock and horror, that you've actually communicated something totally counter to your intentions. it definitely is not a fun experience to have someone tell you, for example, "this antagonist you've written is very compelling, but do you realize you've accidentally written a negative indictment of powerful women because you have so few other women in positions of power in this draft?" that's very much an 'oh shit, i did not mean to do that' kind of moment, but if no one flags this to you before the story goes to print, your intent doesn't matter. you still wrote a story that communicates a message you did not intend for it to communicate. you might be able to revise it in later editions of the story, if you're lucky, but that first edition still stands, and it still says what it says, regardless. your commentary on that character doesn't change the material circumstances of the story.

it's impossible to divorce our biases and baggage entirely from the creative process. we are always going to end up writing things into our stories that we did not intend to place there. those unintentional inclusions in the story, however, are still absolutely part of the story. readers can't conveniently decide to strike those details from the record like they're jurors receiving instructions from a judge during a jury trial, that's not how storytelling works.

the story says what the story says, and sometimes writers are going to create an antagonist that deeply resonates with some of their readers, intentionally or otherwise. and you, either as a writer or someone who can't stand villain stanning, just have to deal with it.

#ray.txt #salty peak sect 🧂#yeah this is about all the jin guangyao hate in the tags lately but it's also just. a comment on how people treat ~villain stans~

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satansapostle6 · 11 months ago

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Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content. Violence.

“The Baby Sister”

“The Family Legacy”

Rodrick couldn’t stop thinking about Sara in the past week since they first started to become friends. It was a sickness.

Today alone, he thought about her first thing in the morning, as he opened his eyes and woke up, as he was brushing his teeth(he hoped his breath didn’t smell bad), as he put on his deodorant(he hoped he didn’t smell bad), as he got dressed, while he drove to school, and all throughout his classes.

He knew he had to do something about his feelings for Sara, because they were really starting to become apparent to most of the other people in his life. This, of course, included his band mates, although Chris and Ben also had eyes for Sara Walter, just like any of the other boys who saw her. Rodrick figured the only reason Sara wasn’t as popular as Heather Hills was because she just didn’t want to be.

Sara spent most of her time in and out of school alone, so naturally Rodrick felt pretty important when she decided to spend her time in his company. She typically came with Bill to band practices in Rodrick Heffley’s garage, where she served as quite the distraction to her brother’s younger band mates.

But that day, the members of the charmingly spelled Löded Diper were busy trying to put together a decent set list, for a small backyard party. Rodrick had been standing around with his arms crossed, rolling his eyes as he and Bill watched Ben and Chris argue over songs. Sara, who sat on the couch, decided she’d tune out all the arguing and work on her flash of potential tattoo designs.

“Will you two just shut the fuck up so we can figure this out?!” Rodrick groaned.

“Just give ‘em a few minutes, little bro,” Bill offered his wisdom as he patted him on the shoulder. “Oh. Dude. I almost forgot.”

“What?” Rodrick asked him in fear, thinking it was some sort of band emergency.

“You should totally ask Sara Bear to come to the party with you!” Bill whispered urgently, eyeing his sister to make sure she wasn’t listening in.

“But… can’t Sara drive herself?” Rodrick questioned.

“No, dude, like on a date!” Bill urged him.

“…What?” Rodrick asked skeptically.

He didn’t know anything about having a sister, but he was certain there was no way any guy would willingly encourage his friend to ask his younger sister out.

“Yeah, man, she’s crazy about you!” Bill insisted. “It’s so obvious!” he scoffed.

“She ashed her cigarette on me the other day,” Rodrick frowned, not trusting him at all.

“That’s how she flirts!” Bill exclaimed. “If she did that to you, you’re in! I mean…Not in. That’s still my baby sister. But, anyway, dude, she likes you.”

“…Really?” Rodrick asked, deciding if anyone knew Sara, it had to be her brother.

“Yeah! You should ask her out. Right now,” he encouraged.

“Okay!” Rodrick exclaimed, walking over to the couch. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, anything for you, brother!”

He then realized that, just like the first time he ever had a real conversation with Sara, he had gone over there with no plan. But, it was already too late, so he decided to just go with it.

“Hey, Sara Bear!” he blurted out, visibly cringing and once he realized what he’d said.

“Hey… Roddy,” she frowned humorously, “What’s up?”

“Uh… I was thinking,” he began.

“I’m impressed,” Sara nodded approvingly.

“No…” Rodrick massaged his temples in frustration as he tried to come up with something good, naturally failing. “I was wondering if you were gonna go to our gig this weekend? At the house party?”

“Yeah,” she replied supportively, “I’ll be there.”

“Alright! Totally! Cool…” he trailed off, trying to regain his composure. “Uh… I was thinking, that, maybe… I don’t know…” he struggled to the point of completely abandoning his train of thought.

“Huh?” she asked in confusion.

“Uh, I don’t know, I just wanted to see if maybe you’d, uh, wanna…”

“Go out with you?” Sara offered, coming to the conclusion before he did.

“Yes! …Yeah,” he nodded, trying to still seem somewhat cool, even if that wasn’t really an option.

Rodrick stood there awkwardly, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his grey jeans.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded with a smile. “For sure.”

“Really?” he laughed, catching himself just as she did. “I mean. Really?” he flirted.

“I know Bill put you up to this,” she smirked, eyes glancing at her older brother for a split second, “He’s been talking you up to me for the past week. He’s a real wing man, by the way.”

“Oh. Cool,” Rodrick remarked, slowly turning to look back at Bill, whose widened eyes suggested he was desperate for an update.

Completely clueless, Bill gave Rodrick a questioning thumbs up as Sara watched. Rodrick slowly made an awkward thumbs up, to which Bill nearly reacted by jumping up and down and shouting. After that, Rodrick returned to the band, feeling rejuvenated.

Just before 6 o’clock, Mrs. Heffley poked her head into the garage, watching as Chris and Ben both took off. Bill and Sara still remained, as Rodrick discussed various details of a song with the thirty-five year old.

“Rodrick? Dinner’s ready,” Susan said.

“I’ll be in in a minute, Mom,” he called, “I’m still talking to Bill and Sara,” he said patiently, pointing out his friends standing in front of him.

“Well, I told you that dinner was ready ten minutes ago, and we’re not eating until everyone’s seated at the table,” she stated calmly. “If you still have things to discuss with your friends, you can do that at the table. We have plenty of food,” she offered.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Rodrick assured her, “Bill and Sara were just—”

“Oh, Mrs. H, we’re starving!” Bill spoke for his sister before she could protest, “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled warmly, “Come on in. I made spaghetti.”

“I love spaghetti!” Bill exclaimed childishly as Rodrick and Sara exchanged looks.

The pair of siblings followed Rodrick into the Heffley house. Bill was much more excited, while Sara seemed a lot more tentative.

“Guys, Rodrick’s friends will be joining us for dinner tonight,” Susan Heffley smiled.

Rodrick took his usual seat beside Greg, who seemed to see Sara’s presence as an opportunity. Rodrick glared at him angrily, as Sara sat down directly across from him, next to Bill.

“I’m so sorry,” he mouthed to her silently, only to receive a tiny ‘it’s okay’ back.

“So, we know Bill,” Susan began, turning to Sara, “I’m sorry, sweetie, what was your name?”

“Sara,” she smiled timidly. “I’m in the same grade as Rodrick.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Frank said pleasantly as he filled his plate. “You go to Crossland?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, hesitantly putting food on her plate as Bill piled a mess of salad and spaghetti onto his.

“Oh, wow. And Bill’s your older brother?” Susan asked.

“Yeah,” Sara nodded, as Frank Heffley completely froze.

Rodrick’s father’s face froze as Rodrick tried to stop him from making a scene, only to be completely ignored.

“I’m sorry, your Bill’s sister?” the man asked shakily.

“Dad…” Rodrick said nervously.

“Yeah,” Sara responded, not seeming as awkward.

“Rodrick’s taking my baby sister out this Saturday,” Bill announced proudly with a mouthful of meatballs. “He’s been crushing on her all week,” he teased.

Greg turned to Rodrick, eyes widened in fear as both of their parents slowly took in the girl’s appearance, from her balayage, to her thin eyebrows, to her loose-fitting grey sweater that she wore off the shoulder. Luckily, she seemed somewhat more conservative without makeup.

“…Oh,” Frank gasped, still in shock. “So that was your cigarette out there last week?” he concluded, seeming horrified.”

Rodrick was horrified.

“What?” Susan questioned, having no idea what he was talking about.

“You’re the girl Greg told us about that was smoking?” Frank continued.

“Dad!” Rodrick exclaimed, mortified.

“Uh, no, Mr. Heffley,” Sara said quickly, “I don’t smoke… That must’ve been my cousin Cindy that was with me, we hang out a lot, so she’s always with me.”

“Yeah,” Bill agreed, realizing this was his fault,“Cousin Cindy’s a huge smoker. Coughs up a lung every morning.”

“Yeah, Dad, I wasn’t talking about Sara,” Greg promised, feeling uncomfortable.

“Oh,” Frank murmured, allowing himself a moment to adjust, “Sorry. That was rude,” he smiled, trying to be disarming.

“Yes, it was,” Susan agreed with her husband. “So, Rodrick, you’re finally introducing us to your girlfriend?”

Greg nearly choked on his food from laughter as Rodrick’s mouth stood agape in horror.

“Mom!” he gasped, mortified.

Sara just looked across the table at Greg, seeming to just be appreciating the humor in the situation, if anything. Rodrick said nothing to her, and just have her an apologetic grimace.

“We’re not dating!” he cried.

Sara tried her best to hide her involuntary grin at the absurd situation.

“But, aren’t you going out on a date?” Susan asked.

“Honey, just let them be,” Frank said calmly, “They’re just kids…”

“Well, I just wanted to know!” the woman argued.

Rodrick watched powerlessly as Sara uncomfortably looked down at her plate, feeling horrible. He didn’t know what to do to help the situation, but he felt even if he could think of something, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. There wasn’t much he could do for either of them at this point.

Sara sat in her seat quietly throughout the meal, only speaking when spoken to, and constantly looking to her brother to signal that they should leave. But, unfortunately for her, her brother was Bill. Bill didn’t seem to be getting the hint. It was probably another 45 minutes or so before he announced that they’d be leaving.

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. H, it’s been real, but me and Sara Bear gotta go,” Bill said as he stood, “We’ll catch you guys later!”

“Alright, take care,” Susan Heffley smiled, a strange discomfort behind her eyes.

“See you,” Frank smiled.

“I’ll, uh, walk you guys out,” Rodrick volunteered, standing with them.

He awkwardly walked behind Sara, hand anxiously hovering over the small of her back as he ushered her out of the house.

“I am so sorry,” he sighed, looking at Sara to see if there was a chance he’d ever see her again.

“Aw, don’t be!” Bill said cluelessly, “I had a great time!”

Sara just shook her head as they all walked out the front door.

“Bill, can you start the car?” she asked politely, intending on having a talk with him later.

“Oh, I get it,” he smirked, looking up at Rodrick, “You two want some alone time.”

“Yes, we do,” she agreed impatiently, waiting for him to walk away before directing her attention back to Rodrick. “So…” she grimaced.

“So…” he genuinely had no idea what to say at this point.

“Sorry, I tried to get Bill to leave, but… you know how he is,” Sara sighed.

“No, it’s fine. My parents don’t hate you guys or anything. They just think I’m gonna turn out like Bill,” Rodrick frowned, not hearing himself.

“Yeah. So do mine,” she assured him. “That’s kind of the problem with them.”

“Well… I actually think you’re really cool the way you are,” Rodrick thought aloud, not sure if he sounded stupid.

“Thank you, Rodrick,” Sara nodded, looking up at him in a way that made his knees buckle.

“You’re welcome,” he stared back, still terrified of her.

“I’ll, uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she left, worried that if she showed how excited she was everything would immediately start to go wrong.

“See you tomorrow,” he echoed, watching her as she left.

The car ride home wasn’t too bad for Sara. It was easy explaining to him where he went wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Heffley, but it was more difficult for Sara to get him to see the problems with their own family.

“Bill, we saved up enough money,” Sara sighed as they arrived at home. “We could get an apartment, easily. You can be my guardian until I’m 18. We both make enough money—”

“Sar, I told you, we can’t,” Bill sounded heartbroken listening to his sister. “We can’t just leave Connor!”

“Bill, forget about Connor!” she argued, “We need to think about us, just this once!”

“That’s Mom’s job,” he reminded her, “That’s all she’s ever done, is think about us. We can’t just leave her.”

“Bill, she’s an adult, and so are we,” Sara scoffed, looking at the house that wasn’t their childhood home from the sidewalk. “I can’t stay in that house anymore, Bill. Not after that night.”

The incident of three weeks ago was still a very sensitive topic in their household.

“Look, I get it, I really do,” her older brother promised, “But it’s just a couple more years. Less than a year. And then you can do whatever!”

“And what about you, huh?” she demanded. “You’re just gonna stay here, forever, in the basement? Just because of Connor?”

“He needs us!”

“He’ll be okay!” Sara insisted. “It’s not like we’re leaving the country, we just need a little space! We both did our time in that house, and now we need to get out for our own good!”

“I can’t do that,” Bill said with finality.

“Can’t, or won’t?” she questioned, looking him in the eyes.

“I can’t. I can’t leave Connor.”

“You can’t leave Connor, or you can’t leave Mom?”

“I’m not leaving, Sara,” he said softly. “You can. But I have to stay. Okay?”

From the pained look on his face to the glassy reflection in his eyes, Sara knew she couldn’t press it any further. She was angry, and she needed to leave, but she knew her brother had been hurt enough.

“Okay,” she nodded, dropping the subject entirely.

“Okay,” Bill nodded vigorously, sniffling as he tried to regain his youthful energy.

The more Sara looked into the darkness of his eyes that night, the more she realized that it was his childhood that had aged him so.

“Please, for the love of God, Sar,” he sighed, before they walked up to their house. “Just don’t start with him.”

“I won’t start with him if he doesn’t start with me first,” she muttered as Bill opened the door for her.

The two quietly entered their home, hoping they wouldn’t be noticed and could just slip by. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

“You guys sure are home late,” said a voice that made them both shake.

Randy Sharpe, their stepfather, was seated in the living room, reading a book written by a man who could supposedly make anyone a millionaire.

“We had dinner at the Heffleys’,” Bill said through gritted teeth as Sara stopped behind him.

“It’s not even 7 yet,” she said quietly.

“What’d they feed you?” the man asked, being the only one that found humor in his musings. “Caviar on toast?”

“Spaghetti,” Sara interjected. “They’re nice people.”

“And I’m not?” he looked up from his book.

“Yeah, you’re a real peach, Randy,” Bill muttered, creeping off toward the basement as their mother entered the room.

“Hey, Bill. Hey, Sar Bear. How was practice?” Destiny Sharpe asked, intentionally moving the conversation along.

“Good, thanks, Ma,” Bill walked off.

“You know,” Randy chuckled, watching him as he took off his reading glasses, “It makes sense, letting that one come and go as he pleases, I mean… he’s half gone already, but Sara’s still a kid,” he pointed out, pointing his glasses at her.

“Randy, Sara’s sixteen, she’s old enough to not have to come home before 7,” Destiny chuckled, still finding the situation humorous, “Besides. When she works, sometimes she’s not home ‘til 11.”

“What does she need a job for?” he questioned. “She’s a kid!”

“So are you, Randy,” Sara used his name like an insult.

“Hey,” her mother frowned.

“What, he gets to sit there and criticize us all day, but the second someone responds, he’s only human?” she gestured to him in disbelief.

“Hey. Show your mother some respect,” Randy said sternly.

“You first,” Sara cocked her head at him. “Has Mom even seen her paycheck this month? Huh? Could she even tell me how much it’s for, or do I have to go through your ‘accountant’?”

“That is enough,” Destiny interrupted, “Sara, have you been smoking? Weed, that is, because I can smell the box 100’s from over here.”

“I wish,” she responded honestly, glancing over at her stepfather. “I don’t know how else anyone deals with him.”

“What was that, a shot?” Randy butted in. “Taking shots at your mother now?”

“Don’t get any ideas, I’ve seen that shitty Glock you own.”

“Sara!” her mother exclaimed. “You shut your mouth right now—”

“Mom?!”

Everyone looked up at the top of the stairs in a panic as a small twelve year-old looked down the stairs.

“Have you seen my PE shirt?” Connor asked.

Destiny squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself for a moment. “Uh… Yeah, baby! It’s in your drawer!”

They all watched him run back up into his room, silently looking around at each other.

“You two need to learn to get along if you’re going to live under this roof,” Sara’s mother pointed at the two of them warningly.

“Or, you could just throw him out on his ass like you should’ve years ago,” Sara crossed her arms.

“Sara,” Destiny glared, finger pointed accusingly, “You best believe that the first of the two of you to be thrown out of this house wouldn’t be Randy.”

Sara tried to contain the hatred growing within her as Randy mockingly pumped his fist in silence as his wife walked away.

“You know, Sara Bear,” Randy said with a smile, “I don’t know why you’re so determined to hate me. I’ve never laid a finger on you, or your mother. You kids wouldn’t have survived a day with my father.”

“You might not have ever hit my mom,” Sara admitted, “But I wish you would. Just so she’d realize what kind of person you are.”

Before she could lose control, Sara ran off into her room, luckily without doing anything she would regret. Not having any other options left, she angrily sank her fist through her door, putting another hole in it just like the one her middle brother had left in it after Bill shoved his head through it.

Ever since he left, Sara had times where she’d almost forget their brother Paul. They never spoke about Paul, and Paul never spoke about them. Sara envied Paul.

“The Date”

#rodrick heffley #rodrick rules #rodrick x reader #doawk rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid rodrick #doawk #diary of a wimpy kid #devon bostick

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thetimemoves · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @raina-at @discordantwords and @totallysilvergirl, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total A03 word count?

57, 682. Not a lot for 20 works, but 10 of them are 221b ficlets. I only have one fic over 10k (it's just over 11.3k).

3. What fandoms do you write for?

BBC Sherlock

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Never Trust to General Impressions

Abditory

Feel My Heart Banging Like a Gun

Out of Every Nowhere

Forth They Went Together

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do. I'm so thrilled to get them and appreciate it when someone takes the time to leave a comment. It makes me giddy, it does!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I like to end on a happy, or at least hopeful, note but occasionally angst comes out on top. I think it's probably a tie between these two: Paperweight, which is Sherlock's POV when Molly gives him John's letter at the end of TST; and With Regrets, which is John's POV as he says goodbye to Sherlock in the hospital after the beating in TLD.

Both are 221b ficlets, so at least it's a sharp punch of angst and not an extended bout? Not kidding about that punch, though (sorry not sorry).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a tough one, but I think these are probably the happiest:

bitter, sweet

Feel My Heart Banging Like a Gun

Abditory

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, thankfully. Hopefully that continues.

9. Do you write smut?

I love me some good smut, but I don't write it (yet). Certain bits in Feel My Heart Banging Like a Gun and Steady as They Go are the closest I've come so far, but they're not smutty.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't. One of my WIPs is a Stand By Me/The Body (Stephen King) fusion, but I'm not interested in writing any crossovers right now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, which amazes me! Two have been translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@splix71 and I began to plot out a Sherlock bounty hunter AU I had initially come up with back in 2019. We had so much fun coming up with names and theories and plot points, so much fun. Unfortunately, she had to step back due to health reasons (FUCK CANCER) and afterwards I couldn't bring myself to go back to it. I doubt I ever will, as clever as I think some of the things we came up with were. I don't know that there is a place anymore for Baker Street Bonds, Yarders Bail Service, or Reichenbach Bail, but I will always treasure the time we spent on it together (that she, a most amazing writer, wanted to write something with me, still blows my mind).

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Mulder/Scully and Sherlock/John.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Sherlock/John hunt the Bogeyman fic I've been poking at for YEARS. I love a lot of what I've written, but I wrote myself into a corner and haven't quite figured out how to get out. At this point I despair of ever finishing it, but never say never.

16. What are your writing strengths?

221b ficlets. I think I've done well with these in conveying lots of emotion in little moments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Clever case fic and complicated plots. I can also get a bit wordy in my beginnings sometimes (ironic, considering my ability to write a strong 221b ficlet) and need a gentle nudge to cut to the action.

Also, if I'm going to be brutally honest, I tend to walk away too quickly when I get stuck and don't make myself work out the problem right then. Hence my many languishing WIPs.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've not done it yet and don't see it happening down the road either.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

For published fic, BBC Sherlock. There might be some self-insert stories with River Phoenix in my very distant past.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ooof, this is a hard one because every finished fic is a victory for me. That said, I'll always have a soft spot for Abditory. I had been in love with Sherlock since 2011 and devoured fic at an unholy rate, but was never dared write my own until 2017, after the last series. Better late than never, right? I also really loved writing Never Trust to General Impressions, with its slice-of-life looks at Sherlock and John's evolving relationship in relation to canon (with a not-so-canon twist on TRF). Funnily enough, both are 5+1 fics.

This was fun! I have loved reading all of these from everyone too. I'm going to be That Person and tag everyone who wants to do this but hasn't been tagged yet. Please do share!

#writing #writing meme #fic writer asks #my fic

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mxmollusca · 1 year ago

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Hello friends! Got a little sneak preview of tomorrow's chapter 8 drop of Wave Hello to the Void. It's gonna be a wild one.

(spoilers under the cut)

✨✨✨

It felt fucking great to get out of the cabin for the day, but the anxiety eventually seeped back in regardless, sinking its sharp little fingers in one by one. Not enough to make him want to stand Stede up—Ed’s desire to clutch at something good and hold it tight to his chest is far too strong at this point, and besides, he might be Mothman but he’s not a fucking dick—but still just enough to sustain that little voice in the back of his head, the one forever trying to caution him away.

But Stede, with his flirty smile and little cinnamon kisses, is making a truly valiant attempt against that stupid voice in the back of Ed’s head, and so now here they both are, on their lovely romantic date, which is… a hike. Sure, okay, at this point, Ed’s pretty fucking sure he’s incapable of saying no to Stede Bonnet, and while he was never much of an outdoorsy type in his previous life, he’s developed a certain wary respect for it since then. His cabin in the woods is as safe a space as he can hope for, sturdy and surrounded by nature—not people, not constructs. Nature is used to ripping and being ripped apart; it’s just another process that shapes the world, and it’s why Ed’s never been able to do much damage to a tree or a rock. When Ed pushes, the earth pushes back.

As they stand in front of the RV and he watches Stede hoist a comically large, well-stuffed hiking pack onto his shoulders, Ed can’t help but think that Stede’s the same way. Ed tugs at Stede, and Stede tugs right back. They give and take, push and pull, but somehow it never feels like a struggle. It’s balance—ease—as if Stede was designed to bend but never break. It’s a sick cosmic joke that Ed’s finally found someone he might be able to grow into, someone Ed’s roots would strengthen rather than rend. But that’s not much of a promise, and even less of an offer. Ed’s a walking disaster, and even if Stede could look past it all—ignore the monster and see the man—at the end of the day, Ed’s still just one sneeze away from tragedy.

He shouldn’t be at a trailhead for a sunset hike up to Bald Knob of all fucking places, but his no always seems to become a yes when it’s Stede asking the question. And as Stede extends his hand in offering, beaming his radiant grin, Ed knows he’s well and truly fucked. He can’t bear to walk away, even though he understands exactly how the story will end. Instead, he takes Stede’s hand, allows himself to be pulled, and follows him into the stretching shadows of the forest.

“Were you a Boy Scout in a past life?” Ed smirks as they start up the path, the final sigh of the sinking sun sliding through the canopy to paint them both in shades of ochre and auburn. His fingers tingle where they’re tangled together, itching for more contact, more Stede.

“Ah,” Stede says. “No, not a past life, actually. This one. Loved all the outdoors stuff, animals and nature. Even liked the community work, soup kitchens and the like. Struggled to make friends, though.” Stede squeezes Ed’s hand, and his voice wobbles. “Would you believe I was a bit of an odd duck as a child?”

Ed watches Stede’s eye unfocus a bit, following some unseen thought as it scampers into the woods. He squeezes back. Maybe he wasn’t an odd duck in quite the same way that Stede was, but he knows what it’s like to be on the outskirts, forever looking in. “You? Nah, mate. You’re super normal. Normal as they come. Totally average. Mean, median, mode—”

Stede laughs, the warmth of it confirming Stede’s return to the present moment. “And that appeals to you? Central tendency?”

“Little bit, yeah,” Ed says quietly as the path begins to gently meander uphill. Stede had claimed the trail was rated “easy to moderate,” but Ed’s already sweating into his henley a bit; he wants to pretend it’s the fault of his leather jacket—armor he no longer needs, not with Stede—and not the man whose hand he’s holding—not the memory of that same man tugging at his shirt and fumbling with his pants, calling him things like curious and funny and breathtakingly beautiful—

His body aches in protest as he disentangles himself from Stede to tug off his jacket and cinch it around his waist. The breath of cool air against his skin does little to lower his temperature. “Feel like I’ve been living a life of extremes for longer than not,” he says with a swallow as he stares at his palm, unsteadied by just how much he can feel the lack of Stede’s hand in his. “Getting a little tired of the fringe—”

Stede cocks his head. “And I’m not the fringe?”

A fresh churn of guilt kicks up deep in Ed’s abdomen—he’s itching again, poking at his surroundings. He can feel himself slipping, mentally digging into rotting logs and layers of shale—but then suddenly Stede reaches out for his hand once more, palms sliding together like plug and socket to deposit Ed back into his body and close the circuit once again. “Not to me,” Ed says, and now it’s his voice that wobbles. He gently swings their hands between them, looking down as the footfalls of his booted feet are softened by the blanket of leaves that have yet to turn crunchy underfoot. He should stop talking; he knows every subsequent word to fall from his mouth will be one that can’t be taken back, but he can’t help himself—Stede’s smiling, yielding, grounding him. “You’re the Goldilocks Zone.”

Stede hums. “Goldilocks zone? Like, porridge and bears?”

Ed huffs affectionately. “More like stars and planets. When astronomers and biologists look for life on other worlds, they have a list of requirements. Availability of things like carbon—”

“And water?”

“Yeah, for sure. But also, the planet needs to be a certain size in relationship to its distance from whatever star it orbits. For life to exist, there needs to be a balance between gravity and radiation.” Ed stops at a large elm covered in scaly circular patches of lichen lined up in a near perfect conjunction, and he taps them gently with a fingertip. “The energy that powers life can also burn it up. Gravity can crush just as well as it can bind. Life needs that little sliver,” he says, the ridges of the bark skipping under his finger as he draws an invisible line between two of the patches. “Right down the center. The perfect combo where everything is just right.”

Stede softly bumps Ed’s shoulder with his own, then raises his hand to trace the same line. Ed feels it, a brief tickle down his spine, as though Stede had touched him and not the tree. “The Goldilocks Zone.”

“Yeah.”

Stede turns, the light catching him just so, and it knocks a soft breath from Ed without warning. He’s almost ethereal like this, eyes a bonfire of ache and longing in equal measure. “And that’s how you feel?” Stede asks, voice small and unsure. “Crushed? Burned?”

Ed turns sideways to press his shoulder into the tree, diffusing his knotted anxieties into knotted wood. “Not anymore. Not since you.”

“And that’s—I—” Stede stammers, growing even pinker in the weak autumn light. “No one’s ever…”

Not crushed, not burned. Stede’s pulling, and Ed lets it happen. Their mouths meet and Stede’s lips soften under Ed’s own with a delicious squeak that quickly slips into a moan. Ed’s scattering again—scratching along the stressed seams of Stede’s bag, snagging the cracked aglet at the end of his sneaker lace—but then Stede’s hands find Ed’s hair and slam him back in his body. Stede kisses back, his teeth catching against Ed’s lower lip with infuriating gentleness, and now Ed’s in Stede’s body, a melange of earnest intent and unquenchable need growing roots and digging, digging, digging into the both of them—

Abruptly, Stede pulls back with a breathy pout. “Hey,” he says, scrunching his nose good-naturedly. “I’ll be the one doing the seducing this evening, thank you very much! And we still have a little way to go. Would hate to miss the sunset!”

Ed takes a deep breath and nods, as much to himself as to Stede. Ed was right before—

He just can’t say no to Stede Bonnet.

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #whttv #wave hello to the void #ofmd fanfic #my fanfic

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symbioticsimplicity · 2 years ago

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I’m in the business of pissing people off so trans!Steve

Stephanie Harrington started requesting to be called Stevie at first because like her mom, she was a fan of Stevie Nicks and wanted to be just like her. Her mom was thrilled by this and the nickname stuck really easily, to the point that by second grade outside of teachers and doctors almost nobody knew she had a full name.

By the time she got to third grade it was apparent to her that she did not like the set of things girls were supposed to do. Sure, there were a few things she liked, like getting her hair done and helping her mom cook and some of the songs her Dad distastefully called “women’s taste”. But dresses? Sitting politely through church services instead of running around outside like the boys were? Burping quietly? Dresses????! No, those were not for her.

She figured out what a tomboy was around fourth grade, despite her father’s constant disapproval and her mother’s repeated attempts to get her into something “propper”, she was stubborn enough to wear them both down. One of the few times she ever dug her feet in and refused to budge in her entire life. She didn’t care what else her family asked of her, would do it without complaint, if they allowed her this one thing.

The summer before middle school she cut her hair short. She cried, her mom cried, her Dad wasn’t there but she was sure if he had been, he would have made some sort of comment she wouldn’t want to hear. After the initial emotion of it passed, she found she liked her hair better this way. It was easier to deal with, and actually made her face stand out more. It the first time the little heavy feeling in her chest she couldn’t name eased a little bit.

In her second year of middle school she met Tommy. Tommy is everything she’s ever admired. She thought she had a crush on him for the longest time, couldn’t explain why else her eye would be so drawn to him in certain outfits that emphasized his shoulders or the narrow taper of his waist. But thinking about kissing him made her want to gag so she stayed confused enough to powder a little bit of tension into their friendship.

It’s not until the summer before high school that she figured it out, and only by total accident.

She walked past a TV shop, playing all different kinds of movies all at once. She wouldn’t normally have stopped but there was one playing a movie she’d never seen before. Later she’d learn it was the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but at the time she just recalled seeing a man dressed as a woman and thinking “YOU CAN JUST DO THAT?!”

She thought about it for weeks after, the idea of just being able to dress up as the opposite gender. Of what it would be like to have people see her as a guy. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted it like she had never wanted anything before. And Stevie Harrington was nothing if not determined when she put her mind to something.

She spent the entire summer at the library, researching anything she could think of to find out a way to make this work. She ended up researching history more than anything those first couple weeks, finding out that her feelings weren’t exactly new. That there were people going all the way back to ancient Greece who thought like she did. That it was something while not necessarily normal, it was still something humans just did sometimes.

She’d cried a lot that summer, but she’d also made a plan.

The first time she asked Tommy just to call her Steve, he’d given her a weird look but he’d done it. The first time she’d asked him to start calling her ‘he’ though...that had been a talk.

She’d never told a soul about what she’d learned and how she felt, had never really worked up the courage to start referring to herself as ‘himself’ even in her head before that. But Tommy hadn’t been hostile, just really really confused. Once she’d explained it, he just nodded and said that it reminded him of the way he thought he should be taller and wore lifts to fix it.

It wasn’t the grandest acceptance speech she’d ever heard but it was better than expected.

Steve’s first year of High School was the first year he started living as himself.

It was grating, the disadvantage of having been popular growing up is that everybody knew her and everybody judged him for it. Honest to God if it weren’t for Tommy he wasn’t sure he could have dealt with it. Tommy was like a guard dog, snapping at anyone who was fool enough to mess with Steve. He was witty enough about it, antagonistic enough to the right people too, that they stayed roughly as popular as they used to be.

Steve didn’t stop researching. His parents hadn’t been home often enough in the last couple years to drop remarks on his growing sense of masculinity. He didn’t get made fun of enough in school to really feel too bad about it. And while a councilor had taken him aside and asked him what was going on, she’d also given him the number of a professional psychologist to call.

Steve had been wary, of course he had, he wasn’t actually stupid. But he’d called all the same, since was sure the councilor would be following up with him later. The last thing he needed was her calling his parents instead.

The psychologist he talked to was surprisingly knowledgeable. Sure, he called it a ‘disorder’ which rubbed Steve the wrong way, but he told him that there were treatments for it too. Things to help make him feel more masculine, which wasn’t what he’d been expecting but the prospect was too good to ignore.

By sophomore year of high school, Steve had officially started HRT. He’d snuck the consent form into his Dad’s stack of business papers, knowing he’d sign it without looking. He’d done the same with the waver for the surgery he’d known he’d wanted as soon as he’d heard of it. No more binding, no more sore ribs or aching back. His medical bills were easily explained away as sports related injuries to parents who weren’t there to take him to the appointments anyway.

Steve had finally reached a level where he felt comfortable with himself. The people around him seemed to have mostly forgotten they’d known him any other way, and the few that hadn’t were now too frightened of him too to start shit about it.

His life was about as good as it could be, he thought.

And then the summer of ‘83 came.

#trans!steve harrington #stranger things #this got much longer than I meant it to be as usual #i'm making characters trans and no one can stop me #your faves are trans now sorry not sorry

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spittingstar · 1 year ago

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psycho babble abt loneliness and consciousness

I went to see Past Lives in the theatre and i felt like the movie was so convergent onto my personal reality right now. It’s funny how the universal shape seems to be a circle. It all felt too real when I walked into the theatre and I was the only one not in a couple. Then, on the screen, Hae Sung and Nora are the only two alone together when all the people in the background are visibly couples. It just all felt too real. Time is constantly overlapping and creating the same shape with the same story.

I am feeling very alone, I guess. Anytime my consciousness grows, I feel like my past life experiences start to become too fictional. Today, I saw my sister and I kept on having this unnerving sense that I didn’t know this person, even though she is the only person I have known my whole life. I recall this sort of disassociation happening when I was 5 and had my first anxiety attack. My mom was brushing my hair in her room before school and I started to cry. She asked me why and I turned around and told her it was because “I will never be as young as I am in this moment.” I felt crushed thinking about how time is always moving forward and there is only the present moment to embrace. But, I was 5 and didn’t have to he words to say all that. My mom did not care. She just spun me back around and continued putting my hair up for school.

Most of the time, when I think about what consciousness expansion is, I think about the way new areas would appear in the old katamari games. The re-releases don’t quite capture how the new objects and areas would phase in, but in the old ones it was like a mist. Most of the time, slowly new objects would appear and become rollable items, but then your ball would reach a certain size and the whole place could shift and look almost entirely different, even though it’s still recognizable as a where you last were. That’s the sensation that I feel when I become aware of the passage of time. Sometimes it’s fine, but other times I feel totally off-kilter and crushed, much like I did when I was 5, how I’m feeling right now, and how I’m sure I will feel in the future.

Spoiler, but in the film there’s a line where Hae Sung says something like, in our path together I love you because you’re you and you’re a person who leaves, but in [your husband’s] life, you’re a person who stays. And it hit so close to home because I feel like the most consistent space people fill in my life are people who leave. Growing up, I moved so much, I felt like I saw the archetypical roles of each person plays so well that and I didn’t need to know anyone for a long time, because I knew I would meet someone new who was just like them. But now, I am both comforted by the sense of a new person, but also desperate to connect to others on this well known level, but not feeling welcomed to/or knowing how to maintain those connections. and then, when i consider moving again, i wonder if i’m still running to find a new space to do all the childish things i did before? will this circle continue?

For a long time, I thought about making this sculpture of a metal circle. It would be made of circular rod that is flattened on it’s bottom edge, so it can freely stand in the middle of a room. where the circle crests, it would be severed and slightly ajar from itself, sort of like a twist/curl. But it would be the slightest curl, so that only a couple of millimeters of the circle would overlap and they would only be apart by a couple, as well. each of these ends would be painted with different colored enamel paints. In my head, I’ve always thought green and pink, I’m not sure why. As for size, perhaps stomach height? but, really it could be as tall as anything.

The whole point of the thing is to be represent missed connection and its continuous cycle. How everything is always lining up, but also feeling like it’s never quite aligned. Basically, the same message as the movie.

Perhaps I will use my weekend to make this piece, now.

Even though this text is complete psycho-babble, i feel really good to release this. that movie made me feel very pent up. i felt like i had lived both 1000 years and like a baby.

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whateverthedragonswant · 2 years ago

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thinking about buck and chris in the tsunami and buck helping build chris an adapted skateboard and buck being the one to sit next to chris and tell him his dad might not be coming home and eddie putting buck in his will and them having ONE SCENE together in all of 6a?like i 100% get wanting to focus on other relationships, but at this point it truly doesn’t make sense for there to be almost no buckley-diaz scenes because we KNOW how important they are to each other, romantic or not.

Hey, Anon!

I totally get what you're saying and I do agree but I also think they're still trying to show us in ways that Buck and Eddie are still very important to one another while we go through the first half of the season. They've had more than one scene together but they usually have someone else around. I think that's what you're referring to, right? The missing heart-to-hearts that they usually have? I completely get that this is throwing a lot of people off because it's not their usual pattern. Even when KR took over last season, we still got heart-to-hearts with both of them every so often. But here's the thing, I think we're going to get some of those back in 6B because if Buck does have a breakdown or he reaches a breaking point, there's no way Eddie wouldn't be part of that landscape. Because Eddie was so heavily involved in the story line two seasons ago:

Annnnd since we know the Buckley parents are returning and they're most likely it has to do with this story line for Buck this season, it stands to reason that at some point Eddie will be returning this for Buck:

And I am absolutely certain because this season so far we've seen:

Eddie reassuring Buck like he always has when Buck was worried about Karen (and this is definitely Eddie doing that by looking at Buck as he begins to speak when Buck wasn't even looking to him, he was saying it for everyone but more specifically Buck's benefit which is why we then get the looksie loo between them after he says it). Something he did in 3x16 about possibly losing contact with the firefam. Something he tried to do in 4x04 and 4x05.

And then we also get:

While it was kind of Buck and Eddie to do this for that person, isn't it weird that out of the 118, they're the only two? When you know if they had asked, Chim, Bobby, and Hen would have helped? And isn't it weird that the random people they bring with them are two men and two women, and the framing shows each man and each woman walking in together from both sides, behind Eddie, Buck, and the homeowner? They're showing this because that 5x18 scene was a big deal for these two, just like the will scene in 4x14 like you mentioned. But they also show Buck and Eddie in two different cars arriving (when they could have carpooled, especially given gas prices at that point lol) because they're on their own separate journeys, but they're going to arrive in the same place: together and back to their close relationship but this time knowing what they want and being all the stronger for it, stronger to the point that they can even help others like this homeowner. But overall one important thing: a solid, united team. And for any work partnership or friendship, this is one hell of a scenic route to go on to patch either of those up, when it won't lead somewhere past that.

So I get what you're saying and it is a bit of an odd route to take but I have faith that it will all pay off in the end. To me, as an amateur writer, it makes sense. If Buck breaks down, I don't see how anyone could justify Eddie not being there for him during that. Especially when they keep bringing to our attention that Eddie knows something is up with Buck (before learning about the donation), Eddie still knows things about Buck that no one else does (and vice versa as we saw play out in 6x09), and these two are still very much a unit, even if it's not happening physically on screen at the moment. And while I may not always agree with KR's talking points in certain interviews, I do think she's going in the direction she was told to do, just in her own way. And while it might not be the way we like, one thing they haven't gotten rid of is the story telling they're doing through other devices that films and television shows always use. Right now, KR doesn't need the GA to see Buddie, not overtly. Once it gets closer and Buck goes through what he has to, things will become less subtle. (and I have tbh, I don't even think it's really all that subtle anymore) But I still see the same story they've been telling the past few years, since season 3, and I don't see any indication that Buddie won't happen.

Like one of my other anons said, Buck spending time with other 118 members & Eddie doing the same...this is all a precursor to them eventually getting together. Once they do get together, they'll still have scenes with the firefam separately, just like we see with Hen and Karen, Chim and Maddie, Bobby and Athena, etc.

And I get what you mean about no Buckley-Diaz scenes butttt we did get that one scene in the season premiere and that is SO important because the first episode of a season always sets up what the main focal points are going to be for that season's story line of the show. And while we don't get anymore physical scenes with them, we do see Eddie and Buck discussing Chris' crush, Eddie asking Buck if Chris has told him any secrets, etc. It's still very present in the story line. And on top of that, since this season is about Buck finding out what he wants (and the donation comes into play), it makes sense that the Buckley-Diaz isn't the focus right now (scenes with the firefam or not) because Buck's relationship with both Eddie and Chris are solid. It's not coming into question right now; it's a given. Since Buck is going on this journey (and Eddie is doing his own as well), it makes sense that we don't see as much Chris/Buck or family scenes. We might get some more in 6B but I'll be honest with you, I wouldn't even be surprised if we only got one, if any at all.

Any other time we've gotten Buckley-Diaz scenes, it is always in relation to one of the three's emotional landscapes in the story. The show just worked hard to separate Eddie and Christopher so Eddie can find out what he wants for himself. They're now working to help Buck figure out what he wants. Christopher is doing well and the theme of his and Eddie's relationship this season is him getting older and not needing Eddie as much. It all makes sense then that we're not seeing the B-D unit as much this season.

But I feel you, Anon, I do. I get that this is frustrating for some. I partially blame that on the streaming culture we currently have because not only have we been waiting for this to happen for a long time, it's the waiting for weekly episodes, the winter break, the interviews in between, that kills us, too. I myself just recently gave up on a show that I regret starting because I care about the characters so much but the writing is questionable at best (which puts it very nicely) and they're more concerned with fanservice than they are good storytelling it feels like. I tried to have patience, to hang in there, trying to see what we were being told through every single device used, but I got so frustrated I said 'fuck it, I'll wait and binge when it's all said and done. I'm wasting too much time waiting and being frustrated about this so fuck it.' And it takes a lot for me to do that but getting back to the point, I get it if some people want to wait until it does happen, or that they can stream the full season once it's over. And I get the frustration, but I promise, I really do believe Buddie is on its way. It's just taking the long (scenic) route. Which is completely characteristic of slow burns but you also have networks and shows that love to milk the crap out of something like this, too. Whatever keeps people coming back to watch every week. But I get it all. I hope in this ramble somewhere I'm making sense lol.

So my very long point is to hang in there, Anon. It's coming, and I think once 6B airs in its entirety, it will all make sense. I think even rewatching all of 6A will even help pull the puzzle pieces together and all of the connections will be seen that much more. I plan to do that myself once I get some time.

I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, Anon!!! <3

#sorry i rambled a bit there #ask #ask answered #buddie ask #911 ask #911 fox #buddie #buck x eddie #evan x eddie

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ro-is-struggling · 2 years ago

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Lose Myself || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky can’t help but fall in love with his new neighbor even though every fiber of his beings tells him to stay away from her.

Warnings: song fic, fem reader, written from Bucky’s point of view, angst, mentions of insecurities and trauma (from Bucky’s side), mutual pining kinda, Bucky being a total simp for the reader, fluff

English is not my first language

Word count: 4200

Notes: this is part 2 of You Ruined Me (Matt Murdock x Reader) but you can totally read this as a stand alone. All you have to know is that Reader and Matt used to date but they broke up because he was still in love with Elektra. Also, I have plans for part 3 with a little more drama👀 so let me know if you guys would like to read that!

Like the previous part, this one is also inspired by a JC Chasez song, this time it’s Lose Myself so again I recommend you to listen to it to understand the vibe of the story.

She loves daffodils and she keeps them on her window sill

When the wind blows her smell fills the room

She dreams in color, but does she know that I love her?

I'm swimming in my abyss of insecure blue

Bucky knocked on his neighbor's door gently, certain that you would be close enough to the entrance to hear him walk down the hallway to get there. You had called him urgently because you needed his help to get rid of a spider that was tormenting your apartment so naturally he dropped everything he was doing to rush to your rescue. You had that kind of relationship. Whenever you needed help killing a bug that you were terrified of or if there was a heavy piece of furniture you wanted to move you called Bucky. He lived in the apartment down the hall from you so he had no problem coming over to help you. It was always small favors and easy tasks that he would gladly do if it gave him an excuse to see you. You usually ended up hanging out together afterwards, and those were his favorite parts of the day.

When you opened the door Bucky's nostrils were assaulted by the smell of daffodils coming from inside the apartment. It was your favorite fragrance and over time he had learned to love it too. It was a scent he associated with you and therefore always brought him feelings of peace, security, love...

"Bucky! Thank God you're here!" you exclaimed, stepping aside to let him pass. "Come quick before it hides again." Closing the door behind him, you took his hand and led him through the apartment and into the kitchen.

"Where is the monstrous spider you need me to take care of?" Bucky asked in a slightly amused tone. You always sounded so dramatic over the phone, but in his experience it was all your exaggerations. He was ready to meet the world's smallest spider.

"It's in there." you pointed your finger into the kitchen as you stood in the safety of the door frame. "Between those things on the counter." You refused to go back into the kitchen as long as that thing was there, so you gave Bucky a gentle shove to force him in. He let out a chuckle, shaking his head at your attitude as he went inside to inspect the area you had indicated.

"This thing? Really?" he said when he found the spider walking across the counter. Sure, it wasn't a small domestic spider, but it wasn't the horrifying monster you had described to him either. "It's not that bad."

"It's disgusting. Get it out of here!"

Bucky didn't see the need to kill it, so he trapped it inside a glass so he could release it outside. He walked to the balcony, laughing as you let out a shriek and ran in the opposite direction as he walked past you with the spider in his hands. After releasing it Bucky closed the door to make sure it didn't get back into the apartment.

"All done! You can breathe now, doll" Bucky said as he turned to find you in the corner of the living room, hugging one of the couch cushions.

"Oh my god! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" You thanked him, letting go of the cushion and running into his arms. "I don't know what I would do without you" you murmured against his chest. Bucky let out a chuckle, wrapping his arms around you as he felt his pulse quicken at the contact.

"Probably burn the building to the ground as soon as a bug enters your apartment."

"Oh you know me so well," you laughed, imagining the situation. "Are you staying for dinner? I have pizza and beer," you added, pulling away from him so you could look him in the eye.

"Well, I can't say no to that."

It was sort of a tradition you guys had. Every time he helped you, you thanked him with food. It was a ritual that went all the way back to the day you met. You were in the process of moving in and when Bucky came into the building after his afternoon walk he saw you struggling to carry your belongings up to your apartment. He didn't usually interact with strangers, but the gentleman in him wouldn't let him go anywhere without offering his help. You had refused at first, telling him you didn't want to bother him, but when Bucky started lifting the boxes as if they weighed nothing you ended up agreeing. You spent the whole day together that time, carrying all your furniture and possessions up the stairs as you chatted and got to know each other. As night fell you invited him over for dinner. Your apartment was a mess of boxes and bags piled everywhere, but you had a few beers and the number of a pizza place that had been recommended to you.

Bucky had wanted to say no, the voice of insecurity in his head screaming at him to get away from you before he ended up ruining your life. But there was something about your smile that wouldn't let him say no. You were special in a way that Bucky couldn't describe. You were completely different from him in every way, cheerful and easy to talk to, a splash of color in his gray life. Maybe that was what attracted him to you, the stark contrast you represented. You were everything he wasn't and to his surprise he liked that.

Your little tradition had been created that day without either of you realizing it. It had been the beginning of your relationship and the beginning of Bucky's feelings for you.

And I'm losing my head

And I can't get no sleep

But if I reached out

Would you reach out for me?

Bucky hadn't been able to stop thinking about you since that day. And his feelings for you only grew as time went by. The sound of your melodious laughter was permanently recorded in his mind, accompanying him in every second of his life. He spent his days waiting for the moment when he could hear it again, longing for your next encounter in the hope of feeling once again that tingle that ran through his body every time your hands brushed.

He was in love with you, there was no denying it. It had been hard for him to admit it, but it was the truth. Though just because he was willing to admit it to himself didn't mean he was ready to act on his feelings.

The love he felt for you was unlike anything he had felt in the past. It was much stronger, much more intense. He lay awake at night thinking about you, trying to decide if he should act on what he felt. He wanted to, God knew there was nothing he wanted more than to hold you in his arms and tell you how much he loved you. But he could never muster the courage to do it. The voice of insecurity in his head always stopped him, reminding him that he was a mess and that you deserved someone better. Bucky knew he shouldn't listen to that voice, but it was very hard for him to ignore it so he kept his feelings secret, loving you in silence.

He was pretty sure you didn't feel anything for him anyway, so he didn't see the point in confessing his feelings to you. You had told him about your ex-boyfriend, how you had found him cheating on you with another woman and how much that breakup had hurt. You were so heartbroken that you had moved out of your apartment to escape the memories, hoping to start over in a place far away from all the pain. From the way you talked about him and your past relationship, Bucky assumed that you still had feelings for your ex-boyfriend. And he used that as an excuse so he wouldn't have to admit that he was terrified of you rejecting him. He had convinced himself of it because it was easier than accepting the truth.

However, there were times when he questioned his assumptions. There were times when you looked at him in a special way. Bucky couldn't describe it in words, but there was a special sparkle he sometimes noticed in your eyes that led him to wonder what would really happen if he decided to confess his feelings to you. And now as he listened to you telling him about your day, laughing over a funny story from work, Bucky couldn't help but wonder if you would take his hand if he dared to take the big step, if you would risk jumping with him or if you would let him fall alone into the abyss of uncertainty.

Knocked unconscious, walking on water cause I'm thinking of you

And don't you know that love's intoxicating and I need the abuse?

Because I'm endlessly falling, you're my destiny calling

What you're making me do

It's all because I lose myself in you

All because I lose myself in you

When you finished dinner you settled down on the couch to watch TV. It was not uncommon for you to end up curled up on top of each other under a blanket while watching a show or movie that caught your attention. Those were Bucky's favorite moments because he had an excuse to put his arms around you and pull you close to him. Normally he was not a fan of physical contact, he had too many painful memories that prevented him from enjoying being close to people. But with you it was different. With you everything was different. Bucky loved to take you in his arms and feel your warmth enveloping his body, it was like a gentle caress to his hurting soul. And that's exactly what he did, leaning back against the back of the couch to give you room to lay your head on his chest.

He tried to pay attention to the movie playing on the screen. It was some romantic comedy that he had never seen before, but you seemed to like it. He was sure it was very entertaining, but despite how hard he tried to pay attention to it, the sound of the television was nothing more than a mere background noise that sounded muffled, completely drowned out by the harmonious melody of your laughter. Bucky could smell the sweet scent of your hair, a mixture of your shampoo and your signature daffodil perfume. It invaded his nostrils with every breath he took, intoxicating him with your scent. How could he concentrate on anything else when you were all he could feel, all he could think about?

Bucky was convinced that you were his destiny calling him. He didn't really believe in that sort of thing, but it was the only explanation he could find for his feelings for you. He believed that you were meant to be together and all the shit he'd been through was a necessary evil he'd had to endure in order to get to you. Bucky felt a little selfish every time his thoughts took him down that route. He had nothing good to offer you and was probably the least qualified person to be in a relationship at the time. You deserved someone far better than him, someone who wasn't broken inside, someone who could offer you a brighter future. He knew that being with him was probably the worst decision you could make, but he couldn't deny how he felt. And even though it was selfish, he was sure that you were his destiny.

You had made your way into his heart faster than anyone else in his life, both past and present. Somehow you had managed to break down all the barriers he had put up around his heart to protect himself, and you had secured a place in it without asking him for permission. You had become his support, his guide. You were the only person capable of making him feel good in his worst moments, the only one that with a simple smile could make all his negative thoughts disappear. You had never judged him, despite knowing who he was and what his past entailed. You had always been kind to him, showing him respect and affection even when he wasn't sure he deserved it.

Bucky wasn't sure if you knew how much you had helped him by simply being yourself. Your kindness and caring inspired him to get better with each passing day, to fight negative thoughts and to be a better person. It made him think that if someone as good as you was capable of loving him then maybe he wasn't the monster his mind told him he was.

You had become his refuge, his home. You represented everything good in his life. You were a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, a rainbow shining through the clouds after a storm. Bucky got lost in you every time you were together, letting your light illuminate his dark inner self. He was addicted to you, to the feeling of comfort and reassurance you brought him. He was addicted to loving you. Even if it hurted him, he couldn’t stay away from you.

I don't wanna be invisible, I just wanna be compatible

Longing for something that can only be filled by you

'Cause I'm fighting with my confidence

Build up my courage, give myself a chance

Because the only thing I think about is you

Bucky knew he was being selfish by staying by your side. He knew that the best thing for you would be for him to disappear from your life before he ended up hurting you. And in the beginning he had tried to walk away, to push you out of his heart and forget about you forever. He had forced himself to meet other people, going on multiple dates and looking for that special spark he felt when he was with you. But all his attempts had failed. The women he had dated were nice, but they weren't you.

You were the only one who could fill the void in his heart. You were the only woman he wanted to wake up next to every morning and the only one he wanted to hug every night before he went to sleep. You were the only woman he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life. You were the love of his life and no one else could make him feel what you made him feel. And the worst part was that you didn't even realize the effect you had on him.

It took Bucky a while to accept that his feelings for you would not change and that it was stupid to look for something in other people that only you could give him. But when he finally gave up, when he finally accepted that he couldn't change how he felt, he decided to invest his energy into getting better every day. He focused on repairing his confidence and self-esteem and trying to make peace with his past. He knew it would be a long and arduous process, too much damage had been done to him and it cut deep inside him, but he hoped one day he would become worthy of your love. So he tried to take things slow, giving himself the chance to experience life in a more positive way. He tried to revisit the things that used to make him happy in the past and find new things to enjoy, slowly but surely becoming a whole person again.

Do you know that I'm here? Do I even exist?

I'll dance on velvet skies

For just the thought of one kiss

"She has some good communication skills." Your voice brought him out of his thoughts. On the screen the protagonist was screaming at her love interest about how much he had hurt her and he seemed to understand his mistake as he watched her cry. "I tried that with my ex and it didn't work. She needs to give me some tips" you added with a bitter laugh. You were joking, but Bucky could sense a hint of pain in your voice. His stomach dropped and a sharp sting pierced his heart like a dagger.

He felt invisible, competing against the man that had broken your heart. It frustrated him to know that you were still thinking about that idiot who had done nothing but make you suffer when he was right there beside you, longing for a chance to show you how you should be loved.

Every time the subject of your ex-boyfriend came up in your conversations, Bucky couldn't help but think about how stupid that Matt guy had been to let such a wonderful woman like you go. In Bucky's eyes you were perfection itself, the most beautiful angel in heaven who had come down to take care of him. He couldn't believe that there was a single person on this earth who wasn't capable of seeing you that way. He couldn't understand how anyone could want to hurt a sweet soul like you. How someone who had had the privilege of holding your heart in his hands could have dared to crush it to pieces. If it had been him in your ex-boyfriend's place, Bucky would have made sure to take care of your heart as if it were his own, to show you every day how much he loved you and how important you were to him. Matt was a jerk who didn't deserve you and it was a shame that you still thought about him.

I see the beauty in your strength, baby

And you fight to keep it in you

But I break down your walls

With my army of love

"We're not all the same, doll. I would never have treated you that badly." Bucky spoke without even thinking about what he was saying. It was hard for him to concentrate when you were so close to him. When he realized what he had said he stayed silent. It was a very thin and dangerous line he was walking and if he wasn't careful he would end up saying things he couldn't take back later.

"Yeah well Matt said the same thing and he still cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend so.... I don't know if I can trust your words, Buck."

He couldn't stand the pain he heard in your voice any longer. It wasn't fair for someone as wonderful as you to question your worth because of the actions of a jerk who didn't know how to love you. You deserved to hear compliments and to be told how amazing you were. You deserved to be loved with the same fervor that you loved others around you. You deserved everything good in the world because you were everything good in Bucky's world. And if no one was willing to tell you that, then he would have to. He would have to take it upon himself to show you your true worth and break down the barriers you had built up around your heart, just as you had done with him. For a moment Bucky stopped caring if you realized how he really felt about you, it was a risk he was willing to take if it meant that he could give you back your confidence, support you in the same way you supported him.

"That's because Matt is an idiot who doesn't deserve you." Bucky said confidently even though his insides were fluttering with nerves. "He had the most wonderful woman in the world by his side and he let her go to chase after an ex. That's pathetic."

"You think I'm the most wonderful woman in the world?" you asked, lifting your head off his chest so you could look him in the eye. You spoke in a slightly playful tone, but you were really curious about the answer.

"Of course you are! There is not a doubt in my mind." Bucky assured you without hesitation. "You deserve to be appreciated for who you are. You deserve to be with someone who sees your beauty, but not only your physical beauty, the beauty of your soul as well. You deserve to be loved right. So fuck Matt! He's an idiot who couldn't see just how lucky he was to have you by his side."

As Bucky exposed his heart through his words, his eyes didn't leave yours not even for a second. He was afraid of what he might read in them, but at the same time he didn't know if he could keep hiding his feelings much longer. He was already confessing his love to you without saying it explicitly, so he might as well take advantage of it to evaluate your reaction and be rejected if that was what you really felt. It would hurt, but at least he would stop living in doubt.

However, it was not rejection that he read in your eyes as the words escaped uncontrollably from his mouth. No, it was quite the opposite. Bucky noticed that special glow in your eyes, the one that only appeared from time to time and made him wonder if you had feelings for him. His heart began to beat fast because of his nerves, but also because of the rush of hope that invaded him.

"You really mean that?" you spoke, your voice almost a whisper. "Because I really want to kiss you now, but I don't know if I can go through all that again. So if you're lying, please tell me." Your eyes crystallized, tears quickly forming at the memory of the pain you had gone through after Matt. It broke Bucky's heart to see you in such a vulnerable state and he mentally cursed Matt for hurting you so much.

"I could never lie to you, doll." He assured you with sincerity in his voice before leaning forward and joining his lips with yours.

Take a journey through my heart, it's a test if fate

As we hold each other close our spirits gravitate

Let's drift into forever as our boundaries melt away

It was a slow, experimental kiss, but passionate nonetheless. Your lips moved together as your hands sought to cling to any part of each other's body they could find. Bucky cupped your face with his flesh hand, caressing your soft skin with his thumb as his brain made an effort to memorize every detail of that moment. He wanted to remember it all for the rest of his life, from the way your lips felt against his to the almost inperceptible sighs of pleasure you let out every time he sucked on your lower lip. He had waited so long for a chance to show you how he felt about you and he didn't intend to waste a single second of it.

Slowly Bucky felt you relaxing into the kiss, your lips moving more confidently against his as you let your hands creep up his chest until they found a place to rest on the back of his neck. He took the moment to deepen the kiss, your lips melding together in a real demonstration of how you felt about each other. You both could feel the little that was left of the walls you had built to protect your hearts finally crumbling, leaving you completely exposed to love. You used to think you would be terrified the day that happened. You thought that all the pain you had gone through with Matt would haunt you forever, preventing you from ever giving yourself body and soul to anyone else. But at that moment there was no place you felt safer than in Bucky's arms. You could feel his love coursing through your veins, your connection growing stronger with every movement of his lips. And somehow you knew you could trust him with your heart.

"Would you go on a date with me?" Bucky asked you when you pulled apart. His voice was barely a whisper as he rested his forehead on yours. "I want to take you out on a proper date."

"Are you saying that my cheap beers and pizza are not a good plan for a date?" You joked, putting a smile on Bucky's face.

"No, I'm saying you deserve to go on a date that didn't start with a bug terrorizing your apartment for once." You let out a chuckle, the sweet melody traveling through the air and into Bucky's ears, piercing straight into his joyfully beating heart.

"Fair enough. I'll go on a date with you, but only on one condition." Bucky nodded, willing to do whatever you asked no matter how ridiculous just to have a chance to show you how special you were to him. "You have to promise me that you'll continue to take care of the bugs that terrorize my apartment."

This time it was Bucky's turn to let out a chuckle. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He assured you before bringing your lips back together in a kiss.

And as he let himself get lost in you once again, Bucky couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have crossed paths with someone as wonderful as you.

Baby, my life is yours, just open up the door

I can't believe I found you

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