#but it was also just a weird core memory of 1 not being able to trust my mom when she asked me things (a recurring issue)

[ovaryacted]

AYO THE MOMMY ASKS GOT ME IN A FLUFFY MOOD!!

(Tw:pregnancy, labor & delivery)

Ok first things first. You tell him you’re expecting a lil’ baby, he 1) cries. And 2) panics because he doesn’t know if he’ll be a good father and 3) ultra panics because he deals with bioweapons, mutant causing viruses and other biological nightmares, what if that shit passes onto his kid???

Dude is WIRED for weeks until he finds out that the baby is healthy. No weird biological mutations at all. Just a baby. (Side note, kinda sad, he misses the first ultrasound photo because of a mission and probably cries)

When you start showing a baby bump, he absolutely gets thrown in love all over again. He always loves his s/o but something about seeing them round with HIS baby just flips a switch in his head.

First time he feels baby kick? He’s amazed. He’s never felt anything like it. He’ll start kissing your baby bump and probably crying. (I can imagine he cries a lot during your pregnancy. Probably more emotional than you tbh)

When you go into labor, he does a good job at pretending to be calm. He’s internally screaming, panicking and feels sick the entire time, but he doesn’t show it. He holds your hand and lets you squeeze it as much as you need. The dudes been shot, stabbed and smacked by monsters, he probably doesn’t even feel it if you crack a finger.

When he hears his babies first cries, he lets out the shakiest, sob and laugh ever. It’s a noise of relief, pent up fear, and happiness all at once. The sight of the baby getting put on your chest is permanently seared into his mind. I’m talking core memory.

And when he gets to hold his baby, another core memory is created. Seeing their lil nose. Their lil face. Hearing their lil cries. Again, he cries too.

Leon demands paternity. At least a month to be with his s/o and child. What’s the government gonna do? Fire him? He’s one of their, if not, THE best agent they got. They fire him, they’re down a fucking legend.

I’m gonna say, I feel like Leon is so….in a honeymoon phase, he completely disregards himself for you and the baby. You need to sleep and heal after giving birth, so Leon takes 100% care of the baby until you’re physically able to. The problem? He forgets to sleep at all, and damn near passes out after like, day 4.

He catches himself, so the baby ain’t hurt, but the dumbass at first goes “man….i need to sit down. Maybe get some water” but the moment he sits down he clocks the fuck out.

The baby cries and he wakes up again, but this time, it’s you holding the baby, cooing and soothing them. The sight alone makes him emotional again.

I just have a lot of feelings about dad Leon.

-angsty anon (enjoy another thesis)

AWEE YES DAD LEON THOUGHTS! I know you sent me this a little while ago but I still wanted to answer because I absolutely love thinking about Leon becoming a father and how devoted and protective he becomes. Bye, I'm going to cry.

Leon gives me the impression that he will be anxious throughout his partner's pregnancy. He'll become more overprotective if he isn't already, and the hovering habits will start to show very early on. He'll be attentive to your needs, but will almost smother you out of concern. Asking about whether or not you took your vitamins, if you slept enough, if you needed something from the store, if your cravings were satisfied.

Sometimes it does annoy you, but it's really just the influx of hormones pumping through your body. You reassure him constantly, reminding him that he's a good partner and he's doing enough, and you know his worrying is a good thing because it means he cares that much.

I also see him wanting to be nearby constantly, like a shadow, and Leon is just always there. He doesn't let you do any of the labor at home, he wants you to focus on sleeping, eating well, and being healthy. The last thing he needs is for you to be stressed out or unhappy because he knows that isn't good for the baby, and he also doesn't want to piss you off because he's been warned about how cranky a pregnancy can make someone. He does the laundry, cooks, cleans, helps you out with your nesting and always has a reassuring hand somewhere on your body, mostly on your lower back.

He's there at every appointment no matter what, he's not missing it for a second. But if it's really a hassle and he has to go on a mission, which you support and fully understand, he'll tell Hunnigan to keep a close eye on you or for a close friend to go with you during your appointment. He just wants to make sure you're not entirely alone.

Once your belly expands and his T-shirts no longer cover most of your body, Leon is all over you. There's something about seeing you so full, waddling into the kitchen and looking into the fridge for a snack that makes him smile and happy. He's also the type to always want to have a hand on your belly, even in his sleep, and likes to run his thumb over the dark line that goes all the way down your abdomen. I like having this headcanon that whenever the baby moves too much and is kind of giving you a hard time, he puts a soft hand over your stomach and gently talks to them until they calm down. Leon has this natural calming presence that is very much needed during your pregnancy, and you tease him about how your baby will be attached to him the moment they're born.

But oh the moment you go into labor? It's all hands on deck. He's been prepping for this, reading books on pregnancy and childbirth, wanting to be your rock in the process but when you tell him your water broke, his mind doesn't work. He'll be the type to say "Don't panic!" as he's panicking and you have to remind him to take the hospital bag he's prepared months in advance.

The birth itself is a harsh and grueling process, but Leon helps you see it all the way through. He does not leave that hospital room, doesn't let the nurses kick him out, and stands his ground as your advocate. You're both scared at the thought of welcoming a whole new life into this world, and he's right next to you, holding your hand and whispering words of encouragement and praise in your ear.

Leon hates seeing you scared, hates seeing you hurt, but it really is all worth it the moment he hears that shriek of a baby's cry fill the room. It's the most beautiful thing he's heard, he doesn't care if the high pitch of the violent scream makes his ears hurt. For the first time in months, he feels like he can breathe again.

Seeing this bundle of joy all wrapped up in a pink blanket and pink beanie makes him cry, that new baby scent he's heard so much about before fills his nose and his chest aches from so much love. He doesn't need to verbally tell you that he's proud of you, that he's happy, that he loves you. It's written all over his face and from the way he can't seem to take his eyes off his daughter, he knows what this different kind of love feels like.

Leon Kennedy is a selfless guy, and every time he glances at his baby, he sometimes sees flashes of Sherry when she was younger or even Ashley when he went to go save her in Spain. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but that same urge to protect this life with every fiber of his being comes in full force.

He thinks he develops a new level of fear and paranoia, taking over damn near every duty that was involved in raising a child. He wants to help you recover, allowing you to get your sleep and your physical strength back as he takes care of your baby girl.

He does everything at the expense of his physical health. He can't sleep most of the time and wants to be ready for when his daughter cries at 2 am until his lack of sleep starts to beat his ass after two weeks. Sure, he's on parental leave to help you out and to bond with his child, but you often find him fast asleep in the rocking chair, neck craned at an awkward angle that will irritate him later on. You come towards him and wake him up, his body jolting awake and ready for whatever threat comes his way until he blinks and sees you.

"Is she okay?", he says groggily, dark circles around his eyes and his hair an unruly mess. It was sweet seeing how the first thing he wondered about when he woke up was his daughter.

"Yeah, she's alright, still asleep. You should go to bed baby, I can watch her", you tried to get it through to Leon that he needs to rest too, not just you and your child.

"I could use a nap", he caves, standing up with a groan and rubbing the back of his neck the way you expected him to. Despite being half asleep, he gives you a sweet kiss on the lips and walks out of the nursey. "Wake me up if you need me", he mumbles before leaving the room entirely.

You don't wake him up, not for a couple of hours at least so the migraine that's pulsing in his head wears off. Leon doesn't care if his body goes on complete shutdown, anything you both need, he'll be there ready to do whatever is necessary to make your family dynamic function.

[rpking99]

V-Tubers

A more lore focused and inspired take than the streamer versions. Stocking closer to their canon lore with minimal influence from the performers

HoloLive

HoloMyth (EN Gen 1)

Myth is the first group of English HoloLive girls. All mythical beings to some degree.

Calliope 'Calli' Mori

Calli, or Mori, is a shinigami. A reaper. The Grim Reaper is her mentor, who she calls Death-Sensei, and she does.... Normal reaper stuff. She's also big into rap music and has modified her scythe so it can be used as a guitar

Kiara Takanashi

Kiara is a phoenix, and the head of KFP. Kentucky Fried Phoenix. Immortal, able to be revived from death as the famous fire bird can, she works hard and ensured her workers do the same. An amazing dancer, cheerful and supportive. She will hug you or punch you without hesitation, if you are friend of foe of course.

Amelia 'Ame' Watson

A normal human detective. With a watch that lets her travel through time. Think a mix of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who. Who is also more than happy to talk about how she Ground Pounded your mama last night.

Gura Gawr

Gura is from Atlantis. Having stolen the trident from the king she eventually found her way to land, with mostly amnesia of the events. Just knowing the kingdom had long since fallen. She is on so very old, the shark girl is a gremlin of terror

Ina'nis 'Ina' Ninomae

Ina is the priestess of the Ancient Ones. Eldritch beings that grant her powers. Ina pays her followers, the Takodachi, with cookies. One of the sweetest, kindest beings alive. A wonderful master of an artisr. Cheerful and gentle, a shimmering light that sits atop the darkness.

HoloPromise (EN Gen 2)

Promise focuses on a council of beings who govern the universe. With one of their original members gone, the council swore a promise to assist each other as they brought in another

Irys

Irys is a nephilim, a singer and known as Hope. A being who brings hope to any and all, letting her sing carry out it's beauty... Although she is half of light and half of darkness. And that darkness comes out in some... Mischievous ways

Kronii Ouro

The Warden of Time, Kronii comes across as a serious and professional being who watches over all of time. But seeing all of time, protecting ever moment, means seeing yourself at infinitum as well. Is it any wonder she loves herself so?

Fauna Ceres

Fauna is mother nature, as the Warden of Nature. Animals, flora, all of earth is hers to guard, to flourish and protect. She is soft spoken and adorable in her manner of speaking. A mother type personality to the core

BaelZ 'Bae' Hakos

Bae is the leader of the Council, and she is the Warden of Chaos! Of insanity and randomness and bratty weirdness! .... She is also a rat. .... But a cute rat. A magnificent dancer, Bae is a ball of energy that will focus on keeping everyone smiling and full of motivation even when she's crawling around basically without any strength left. A being who almost never looses her smile or her passion.

Mumei Nanashi

Mumei is the Warden of Civilization. She has forgotten her real name many, many, many times. As civilization rises, and as it falls. She is in charge of humanity, technology and their progress and society as a hole. And as you can expect with such a job, even thr most joyful of civilizations has a dark side to it...

HoloAdvent (EN Gen 3)

Advent are all prisoners who escaped their other worldly prison.

Nerissa 'Rissa' Ravencroft

Nerissa is a demon of sound. Of song. The bird girl's love empowering her voice that makes her songs potent, powerful. Enchanting. Mind and soul. And so she was sealed away. Girl crazy, she is very casual and cheerful. Playful, sensual and seductive.

Shiori Novella

Shiori can best be described as cheerful and dorky. She's kind-hearted, though she often teases those she is close with. She is known as the Archiver, the unofficial leader of Advent. A seeker of knowledge, turning books and memories she loves into bookmarks to later enjoy, she came across forbidden knowledge. Forbidden knowledge that lead to her being locked away... And the break out that freed Advent

Fuwawa Abyssgard

She is not a chihuahua, she is Fuwawa! The older sister of the Abyssguard sisters, she is known as the fuzzy one. The sisters being demon guard dogs, often refuted to as just puppies for their excited and curious nature. The two sealed away and imprisoned, seemingly just for being dogs and overly excited. Fuwawa is definatly the carmer one, with a sweet and gentle tone, but she does get super eager and cheerful when talking and chatting.

Mococo Abyssgard

She is not Fuwawa, she is Mococo! The younger of the sisters, the fuzzy one, she is much more energetic and aggressive than her older sister. Ready to clash with another,highly suspicious and agressive. The type of dog who will be at your ankles 24/7 either out of aggression or because she wants to play. She and her sister often bark with their cry if "Bau Bau" at random, sometimes just to end conversations cleanly

Bijou 'Biboo' Kouseki

Bijou is rock. Rock of human emotions solidified in a true brilliance that makes others love her, but also leading to greed, dark hearted people becoming aggressive and angry as they desire to posses her. Leading to her being locked away for her down safety. Biboo is bubbly, friendly, and often easily excited. A meme lord, a terror, a jokester. But also wholesome as she refuses to swear, even using the word's 'bleep' and 'dang it's instead.

HoloJustice (EN Gen 4)

A task force set up to take down Advent and being them back to their Cell. Their mission, to monitor them and drag them back when the time is right

Elizabeth Rose BloodFlame

Elizabeth, or Liz for short, is the leader of Justice. The Scarlet Queen, Lady Bloodflame is in charge of monitoring and capturing Narissa Ravencroft... And she is very dutiful of that job.... This marvelous singer, this powerful warrior, song and battle are all the same to her. Letting it beautiful songs as she says her foes. Vey traditional high class monarch attitude, but also super sweet and cheerful. Able to switch between "Kneel before your monarch, knave!" and "Later Luv, have a bloody good time!" at the drop of a hat. While serious and mission minded, she is also easily flustered and rather peaceful. Also, British.

V-Shojo

A group of carefree and fun seeking oddballs who are highly into the more sensual and random shit

Projekt Melody

Projekt Melody is a futuristic AI program that was initially made to scan and cleanse files until she was infected with a porn-based virus, causing her to be obsessed with any variety of sexual topics and actions. She is very upfront about her obsession with sexual topics and makes herself known as someone well-versed in the subject of sexual attraction, placing a great emphasis on her obsession with hentai, to the extent that she gives herself the alias of "Professor Hentai". But she's also super casual and goofy as well

Iron Mouse

A demon queen who goes by several names… but has also been rumored to be Satan herself. She is a friendly, fun loving demon who ran from her duties and escaped the confines of Hell/the underworld in order to make new friends, learn new things and live life to the fullest. She has an obsession with the internet, music, lewd stuff, nerd shit, and all things cute. She wears special magical bells on her body to contain and control her power in order to better blend into the human world. If her bells ever get removed, pure chaos would ensue. It has been said that once the bells are off, her true demon queen form will be revealed. All she wants to do is to have fun and see what the human world is all about and… make as many souls friends as she can. Bubbly and carefree with sass to match anyone

Froot (Apricot)

A bittersweet Lich (NOT a Succubus! Totally Not!) who spends her days in her underworld castle drawing art. She took a turn to streaming once she realized she could harvest human souls by disguising them as Twitch Subscriptions. She is a hopeless necromantic and hopes to one day own her own Virtual Fashion brand. Froot has a very soft-spoken high pitched voice and a very calming demeanor. Also, British.

Silvervale

Long ago, in a realm not unlike Earth, a sakura spirit slumbered within the lone flower of an ancient tree. She slept until a wolf pack nestled in the tree's shade. Their love and companionship nurtured the tree in a symbiotic relationship that lasted for eons. When the wolves disappeared the flower wilted from the weight of her sadness and, longing for her lost companions, she used the last of her magics to fuse with the Spirit of the Wolf who then called upon The Wind to carry her to another world. She is known for her wholesome and caring personality as well as her sexuality and lewd jokes. A very cheerful and playful personality who is a free spirit in every sense of the word, although she is a hit of a perfectionist (I know she isn't part of V-Shojo any more. But easier to put her here)

Zentraya

A half human/half red dragon, rockstar (kinda). She is very headstrong and tends to yell at everyone around her, but loves meeting new people! She tends to play pranks and loves memes. She wants to rule humanity one day, but she's too much of an air head to do it. She also has a cyborg form she can take at times. Which is her true form? No one knows. Very laid back but passionate when the need arrises.

Total Muses: 21

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Saw this on a Tumblr post and I'm intrigued. Do you know of any fanfic that has a line like this in? “lan wangji had fallen in love with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat their vegetables” - the post seemed to indicate it might be a NHS pov or narrator fic. Any help would be lovely, thank you! @katonahottinroof

FOUND! An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut) Chapter 14: Lanling Marriage of An Elegant Solution by giraffeter, and my apologies to the OP for quoting the line and not following up to your request for context until now lol. The full quote was "Wei Wuxian had fallen in love with Lan Wangji like a stone falling down a well, which would have been sweet (and kind of annoying) on its own except that Lan Wangji had clearly fallen in love with him too, with all the enthusiasm of a child being forced to eat his vegetables, and that was extremely funny."

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2. Hi! I'm looking for a canon divergence fic where the ending is LZ and WY is dual cultivating at the battlefield (not sex, just using their energy to purge out resentful energy from wy's body, guqin and flute) and this in turn results in wy developing a core - both their energies after joining together comes down powerfully to settle down in wy's body.

The ending para of the fic says about a long lost poem about lan an (? Or some other lan ancester) and his partner cultivating a new core through the same method wangxian did. It says no one knows this method.

Before this dual cultivation (not sex) wy suffers a memory loss and lan zhan calls out to him "wei ying" to tether/ground him and bring him back. It took a while for him to succeed. The fic was very angsty.

FOUND? If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YLLZ WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn) what was described happened specifically the last 2 chapters Wwx didn't have memory lost tho, just an overwhelmingly resentful energy that he couldn't recognise anyone while using resentful energy but lwj was able to call and ground him back, lwj did some lwj things and  wwx ended up getting 'cleaned' with spiritual energy of his own. The fic ends with some lines from a book that was burned before.

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3. hello! its me again. I hope you can help me find this fic: wwx hides with the wens (leaving burial mounds, building his own sect) but its so hidden like i think lwj tried to go in there but its at the edge of a cliff(?) and he needs to overcome the heavy resentful energy before wwx's new village. i remember lxc is very worried that his brother cant do it and will die afterwards.

i also remember that there's a time that the cultivation world needs wwx's help bcos some demons or monster or idk appeared, like they need wwx to eliminate it. then there's one meeting scene, i think its in koi tower? they showoff some archery skills. song lan and xxc are both alive and lan yuan is also wei yuan, he's still using guqin, i think. i read it before but its not complete that time and i cant find it now. thankyouu in advancee. @httpskaixx

FOUND! 💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags)

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4. hello! i’m looking for a fanfic where lwj is a single father at first—i can’t remember the specific details of how that came to be but a-yuan was a newborn iirc, and wwx meets lwj in a store i believe and he’s like “i know this is weird but my sister has been sending me pictures of your baby because i’ve been going through some shit” and they end up getting closer after that—and i also know that jyl and lwj were friends before he met wwx

FOUND! box your errors by mellowflicker (T, 42k, WangXian, Modern AU, single dad lwj, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, let lwj have friends agenda, Hurt/Comfort, Pining)

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5. im sure i saw a post (that i cant find now sadly) about lwj encouraging a-yuan's friendship with the loud and rule-breaking jingyi because he wanted lsz to have that fun growing up, and not like his own childhood. do you know any fics or posts that mention that?

FOUND? Twitter thread by gaylittleyiibo the original tumblr post they're referring to is also linked there

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6. Hello I have a request but I am kind of new here. I can figure out how comment a request. I am terribly sorry if this is disturbing you. I read a fanfic once where lan qiren showed up to the burial mounds and decided to take wei ying as his personal  disciple. I thought J had it saved but I guess not. Eventually lan qiren gets punished by the discipline whip? Anyway I have been searching for days and any help you could give would be high appreciated. @autumnchild26-blog

Also if you know if any fic where wei ying takes the 33 lashes instead of lan zhan. I'd appreciate it. I hope you are enjoying the holidays and that you have a week. (This part put into a mood post)

FOUND? Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, LQR has background trauma, LQR has current trauma, Hurt/Comfort, Protective LQR, protective lwj, Protective wwx, Cultivation World Politics, Lan sect politics, lqr centric, Whump, Angst)

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7. Heyo! Trying to find a fic where, during an investigation of mysterious happenings in a town, WWX and LWJ are under a curse where they can’t hear/see each other. It turns out the curse user was just some kid experimenting with spiritual energy, but it takes a while for the situation to clear up. Thank you! @solid-no-on-that-one​

FOUND! Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, curses, intimacy, getting together, romance, fluff, scars, non-verbal communication) 

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8. Hello, it’s my first time asking and also using tumblr, so I hope I don’t make any mistakes. The fic I’m looking for was Wei Wuxian-centric and a modern au. I think both him and LWJ went to the same uni, and I think they were in an orchestra? I think WWX’s aunt had dropped off baby Yuan at his doorstep and had him take care of him. I also remember a scene where he left Yuan at the uni’s nursery and he got sad idk. I’ve been searching everywhere for this fic so I hope you can help, thank you. :)

FOUND? The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby)

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9. Hello, I'm looking for a Wangxian fic that I'm pretty sure I have saved somewhere. It was a pretty short fic on ao3. From what I remember it was set in a dystopian future where magic was fading from the world. Wangxian knew each other but not well and they were not together. LWJ was a shifter, possibly a huli jing and could no longer shift into animal form. WWX had a workshop where he worked with androids and helps give LWJ his animal form back. It seemed like this was very dangerous for them.

For #9, this is super random but it caught my eye - this is almost the exact plot of a Ken Liu short story called "Good Hunting". I'm wondering if the fic in question was sort of a re-telling of that story with Wangxian as the characters? Maybe that gives this person an idea of tags or keywords to search - hope that helps someone track it down!

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10. Hello! I’m looking for 2 specific fics A) wwx is caught after the war and as punishment his lips are sewn shut because they think he can cultivate and survive. He almost dies from starvation at one point B) wwx plays a prank that changes the color of the tea and madam yu tries to drown and kill him, he ends up in the cloud recesses to recover and has trauma about lotuses. Thank you for your help ♥️ @plzloveme

10A)

FOUND! ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic,   Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut)

10B)

FOUND! 🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 43k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

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11. Howdy! I was looking for a vampire Lan Wanji fic where he refuses to have human blood. He's been an outcast from his clan and the towns people all fear him, and or are trying to kill him. Except for Wei Wuxian who's a traveling merchant of some kind. One night Lan Wanji goes out to hunt, and gets chased by humans. He ends up in a sink hole with an injured Wei Wuxian who ends up dying. But before he dies he kisses Lan Wanji, and cuts his tongue on the vampires fang. So Lan Wanji has to drink his blood. Wei Wuxian ends up turning into a vampire and living with Lan Wanji @crimson-gay-sought-flower

FOUND? Inevitable by Miss_TeaDDK (E, 14k, WangXian, Isolated/Trapped, Vampire, Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication, Developing Relationship, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Sexual Content, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining LWJ, Anxious LWJ, Gothic Armchair Romance, Running Away Together, Mild Blood, Making Love, Anal Sex, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

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12. i'm trying to find this fic where wwx is a system, and one of the alters is yiling laozu who is more of a protector. i think there was a scene with school protest? and there's also the wen siblings in the fic too. thanks!

FOUND! The Other Sides of Wei Ying by orphan_account (T, 14k, wangxian, modern, dissociative identity disorder, mental health issues, therapist LXC, slow burn, WWX has DID, past abuse, dark YZY, dark JWY, hurt/comfort, angst)

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13. Hello! To start off I want to say thank you to the mods for the hard work! I've been trying to find a fic for awhile. Im pretty sure it had multi chapters and was complete.

The main thing I remember is that it's about LWJ kinda having an idealized/rose-tinted version of WWX since it's been 13 years. So the when he returns in MXY body he finds himself surprisingly annoyed with WWX antics and flaws that he had forgotten.

The story doesn't diverge much from canon and is mainly about LWJ's perspective. Thank you! @sketch-a-doodle​

FOUND? 💙 The Price of Old Wishes by SoManyJacks (E, 67k, WangXian, Minor canon divergence, Angst, POV LWJ, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, semi-verbal!LWJ, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide)

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14. hello, for your next fic finder can i ask if anyone knows a fic where wangxian is in modern au but they're muzlims? like i know its so weird, but I can't have possibly imagine that. like I'm sure it exist but i just cant find it. its so specific and unusual sorreyy

FOUND? yeh ladka hai allah by teorusu (G, 18k, wangxian, modern, ABO, Islam, Islamic references, mating cycles/in heat, omega LWJ, alpha WWX, comfort, fluff, mischief, scenting, eid, ramadan)

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15. hi!! thank y'all for all the work you do!! im looking for a wangxian fic on ao3 where wei wuxian is taken to cloud recesses and is under the care of (married to????) lan wangji and for some reason wwx is going to get some punishment and before its done (starts??) lwj steps in and takes it for him and lxc has to drag wwx away?? thats the only scene i remember from it but i think the fic is pretty long. and im not sure but the punishment might have something to do with demonic cultivation but im not totally positive.

hi #15 here for most recent fic finder, i think my brain combined both fics into one and somehow its both the cage sun one AND the restraint one?? i read through both of them and they both fit my memory so found!!! but idk which one it was exactly lol probably both!!

not FOUND reminds me of a scene in a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke (chapter 11) (M, 179k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage)

heyyoo i asked about the #15 one where wwx gets a punishment and its not that one :/ but im thinking more and im /think/ jgy might be in it too? and maybe hes the one who drags wwx away and not lxc?

FOUND! Rattling our cages and stealing the sun Series by danegen (E, 166k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, wwx has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, POV Alternating, Sexism, Pregnancy, brief attempted sexual assault, still 98 percent fluff)

FOUND! Restraint and Realization by Winglesss (E, 12k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega wwx, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Arranged Marriage, Idiots in Love, Miscommunication, Supportive LXC, Explicit Sexual Content, Scenting, Fluff and Angst, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Lack of Communication) its a/b/o but wxx is going to get punished for cultivating but lwj takes it instead

~*~

16. im looking for a fic and its driving me wild because i could have sworn i bookmarked it on ao3: cw for lack of consent, sort of? basically lwj and wwx are married but wwx thinks lwj doesn't like him and tries to seduce him, they have sex but its not good or what wwx wants and he passes out and lwj gets lxc to fix stuff?? they eventually talk it out, very angsty with a happy ending :)

NOT FOUND! A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, NieLan, married wangxian, but there are some complications, because it’s marriage, Sex is complicated, Angst and Pining, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, HEA, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions, One True Pairing, Good Sibling JC, Good Parent YZY, Fluff and Angst, in that order, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Loves WWX)

FOUND! As It Should Be by kuro (M, 36k, wangxian, arranged marriage, slow burn, fluff & angst, miscommunication, dub con, accidental baby acquisation, siblings, running away, (from your problems), eventual fluff)

~*~

17. Hey! This is an nsfw ask, if that's okay?

I'm looking for a modern fic with the following situation. Lan zhan is either an immortal or a mythical being, I'm not sure which. Wei ying is a human. Well, LZ has the ability to smell WY's arousal so to speak. Once LZ visits WY's apartment right after WY did the deed. WY upon opening the door after cleaning up is surprised to see LZ looking at him so weird. WY invites him inside and later finds LZ by the window opening it and letting the wind flow inside.

When they finally get together after a long time WY finds out about LZ's ability and then suddenly gets why LZ opened WY's window that time.

FOUND! Lost and Found by diamondbruise (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, Aliens, Slow Burn, Alien LWJ, Crack Treated Seriously, Soulmates, Kid Fic, .....kind of, i use that tag very loosely, Masturbation, Rough Sex, canon typical cnc elements, Happy Ending) the described scene is in chapter two

~*~

18. heyy, for your next fic finder can i ask if you might about a time travel(most probably) fic where LWJ quite literally dragged QHJ out of seclusion?

FOUND? Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Nostalgia, Subtly Assertive LWJ, WWX Won't Back Down But Blushes Anyway, very mild angst, Angst with a Happy Ending) has a scene where lan zhan requests an audience with his father, tells him about what could happen in the future, and then his father comes out of seclusion

FOUND? Menace, to headache, to…nephew in law? by Nyatci (T, 5k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, LQR & QHJ, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, characters watching the series, LQR pov, good uncle LQR, cloud recesses study arc, crack treated seriously) For 18, well, it's not LWJ, but LQR was implied to have done that in this fic

~*~

19. I was on Reddit and found this fanfic someone mentioned and I wanted to send it here to see if I could get any luck! “with WWX as Gordon Ramsay and LWJ as single dad who brings his son, reluctantly, to the kids cooking session. But he doesn't like WWX because on TV he's always mean and then later he sees how good he's with kids and stuff.”

~*~

20. Hi! I’m looking for a fix-it series where LQR notices LWJ has a crush on WWX during the lesson period. He gives the the two of them tutoring lessons and the first part ends w WangXian making out in the library lol

The series ends w them married after fixing the Sunshot campaign and adopting LSZ

Some minor ships in the series are JYLxJZX, JWYxWQ, NHSxWN

Tysm for all your hard work in this fandom!

FOUND? Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

~*~

[writing-ro]

TF Rare Pairing Fest Day 1: Underworld

And I'm back at it with @tfrarepairing 's TF Rare Pairing Fest! And in this past year, I've seen Beast Wars and fell in love with it. This fic might not technically fit the fest's rules, but this idea hit me like a train and I had to write it. Based on the myth of Orpheus & Eurydice, I hope to write a longer, more fleshed out version later on.

Ship: Dinobot/Rattrap

Also on: [AO3] [FFN]

---

It was a long shot, but frankly, Rattrap had nothing to lose at this point. 

After the team returned to Cybertron and were properly processed - not praised for dealing with the Preds or punished for losing so many of the crew, which was probably the best outcome they could hope for, since the Council didn’t really believe their story of saving the timeline from being erased - Rattrap tried to go back to his old life. He hopped from mine to mine as a demolitions expert, he hit the bars and the armor-optional clubs, he even started something with a botanist returning from her own exploration mission (a successful one, unlike the Axalon’s), though it didn’t last long. He kept in contact with the rest of the crew - Cheetor back in classes, Primal and Rhinox out on another distant colony, Silverbolt and Blackarachnia doing the newlywed thing. They were all doing well for themselves. 

But no matter what he did, he could not get Dinobot out of his processor. 

He didn’t know why the stinking Pred kept popping into his datatracks, but it seemed no matter how often he shut them down, memories or random thoughts would pop up. 

He’d be making a parts order and start to make a comment about the price of ammonium nitrate, only to realize Dinobot wouldn’t be able to give a snide reply. 

He’d walk through a market and spot a stand selling Earth junk, and wander over to look for any Shakespeare files, then walk away empty handed when he remembered Dinobot wouldn’t be able to read it. 

He’d spend a night with Botanica, smooth curves and many hands and soft nothings, and then dream about sharp claws and pointed teeth and caustic commands. There was a reason their thing didn’t last long. 

He didn’t know why he missed the big lizard. They didn’t even know each other for that long, especially by their race’s standards, and their thing - their relationship, there he admitted it - was even shorter. Then the noble idiot went and got himself killed, saving the future, and there hadn’t even been time for a proper goodbye (not around the others, even if they’d known or guessed) and he was gone. 

Then there had been the core, that shining hope to get him back. And it worked, for a moment, and Rattrap could hold and kiss the mech he loved, even in that weird boney body Megatron had crafted. And then, just as fast, he was gone again, and all Rattrap had was honoring his sacrifices by stopping Megatron. 

Then that was done, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t heal the ache in his spark. 

He never would have hit on this stupid, insane idea if not for a mech he met at a bar. The mech who sat next to him - Mindwipe, he’d called himself - started speaking of auras and seances, and three Mood Whiplashs in, Rattrap agreed to try one, certain nothing would come of it. 

But no, he heard it, felt it, smelt it. Dinobot - the real him, not the two-bit knockoff - was in that room, for that short time. He called him a sentimental fool and Rattrap called him an emotionally constipated lizard, and it was almost like old times. Then the seance ended and he was gone, and Rattrap had to know how to get him back. 

Mindwipe didn’t have a solution in his subspace, but he did share the stories he’d heard. Mechs who wandered down to the core of Cybertron and met with Primus, and if he found their wish true, it would be granted. Old legends, older than the Great War, but it was enough of a scrap to hold onto. 

And so, Rattrap returned to Cybertron. He gathered supplies, and left some messages for the others. If he wasn’t back in a month to cancel them, they’d know where he’d gone and what he’d done. Then he found a closed off passage to the first sublevel of Cybertron, and down he went. 

It was a dangerous journey, with collapsing caverns, space slugs, mutant cybertronians, and he swore he hadn’t had this many near-death experiences even on Earth. He was filthy, hungry after losing half his supplies to a stampede of slugs, and almost losing hope, when he literally fell into what he was looking for. 

The wall he had leaned against for a rest collapsed, and the sudden brightness as he tumbled out blinded him for a few minutes. Once he finally cleared his vision, however, he just knew he was in the right place. 

The walls were brightly lit, almost gleaming silver, and ahead was a door, twice the size of an Autobot, making Rattrap feel simply miniscule. Etchings covered it, most in Old Cybertronian that he had no hope of reading, but also images. An old bot with a long beard, a weird looking key, and in the center, Optimus Prime holding the Matrix of Leadership. 

Newly energized, Rattrap pushed himself to his feet and ran for the doors. He expected needing to pull them open, but once he got within a few feet of them, they opened on their own. He channeled his inner rat and squeezed through as soon as he could get his shoulders through, and found himself staring up at something he had only heard legends of. 

In the silver chamber, Vector Sigma was a bright, gleaming gold, light shining and reflecting off its many facets. The voice of Primus, some said, and the progenitor of all Cybertronian sparks, said others. Right now, it was his ticket to getting Dinobot back. 

He called out for Primus, and got the old bot from the door etching. He asked Rattrap why Dinobot should be brought back, and he poured his spark out. How it wasn’t fair that Dinobot wouldn’t get to enjoy the future he had saved. That there wasn’t a more honorable Maximal or Predacon out there. That Rattrap loved him, and he wouldn’t be leaving without him. 

The old bot turned to Vector Sigma, and had a silent conversation for several minutes, before raising his hands. A purple flash, and a spark hovered in them. He told Rattrap that a path to the surface would be formed for him, and Dinobot’s spark would follow. If Rattrap could reach the surface without looking back, then Dinobot would be restored his frame. If Rattrap looked back, however, Dinobot would remain in the Well of AllSparks. 

Rattrap accepted, changing to beast mode, and taking off like a shot once the doors opened. The hall outside was lit up, a line of blue lights guiding his path upward. He went as fast as he could, and as he went he spoke to Dinobot. Told him about what happened after his death, how they had to save the timestream, Blackarachnia joining the team, the deal with the clone (and several self-aware jokes of Megatron not being able to let Dinobot go). Depth Charge and Tigerhawk, and Megatron becoming a dragon, and the whole deal with the Nemesis. Returning home and trying to move on. 

As he spoke, he almost thought he could hear Dinobot’s commentary, scathing, caustic, sarcastic, but also honest and almost embarrassed at times when Rattrap brought up missing him. But as he got closer to the surface, he started to wonder, and doubt. What if this was just some trick? What if Dinobot’s responses were all in his head, created by a spark full of hope? How did he know…

He slowed to a stop, he couldn’t look over his shoulders in beast mode. He transformed, catching himself on the wall as his low energon levels made themselves known again. He rubbed his head, and started to turn-

You foolish rodent! The exit is just ahead!

Rattrap’s head snapped ahead, and yes, the lights led to an open door, almost shining with light, and he grinned. He tried to run ahead, but stumbled, so he just walked, leaning on the wall the whole way. Impossibly, that last little stretch seemed to take longer than any of the rest of the journey, and when he finally reached the exit, and pushed himself off the jam, he collapsed face-first to the ground. He couldn’t even pick himself up, or push himself onto his arms. 

Luckily, someone else was able to do so, and he looked up into the face he’d been dreaming of. Dinobot had a scowl, but Rattrap knew this one. This was the “you’re an idiot, but your my idiot” scowl. 

“I don’t know whether to call you insane or idiotic.”

Rattrap smiled, and managed to reach a hand into Dinobot’s arm. “How about you just call me yours, and we call it good.”

Dinobot rolled his optics, but his scowl softened to a smile, and when he lifted Rattrap into his arms, he didn’t stop him from pulling him into a kiss. The first kiss of the rest of their lives.

[consumed-by-fandom]

DIDude relationship dynamics. If you care. /lh

[For the peeps who are unfamiliar with my au, D=P1, Dude=P2, and Alt=P3]

D and Dude are dependant on each other full stop. D craves Dude’s ability to seem unfettered by the violence that surrounds them, but equally despises how Dude brings that chaos to them in the first place. He’s risky with seemingly no regard for the system and it pisses D off so much. But at the same time he constantly needs Dude to protect him from the shit they’re surrounded with and to slap some sense into him when his delusions get the better of him. And Dude just… doesn’t understand D At All. He’s stuck in his own perspective of the world and he wants D to see it through his eyes so badly but his way of doing that does nothing but hurt D (a trait that gets passed on to Other Dude when he gets split off). He’s just constantly confused as to why D keeps getting angry at him, and he treats him terribly but he doesn’t want to deep down. God knows he cares so much for D to the point its painful, but he sees showing even the slightest vulnerability to be a sign of weakness, a sign that he can be taken advantage of. Has this horrible connection between being emotionally honest and being hurt.

Rip all that away though and they both absolutely adore each other deep down. D has a softness that both disgusts and endears Dude and he can’t help but crave that attention and affection when its given to him. Being trusted or told he’s doing a good job breaks him to his core. And D really looks up to Dude and how he will always try to protect them, and D would do the same for him. They both need each other too much and hate how they handled things last time (Postal 1)

Alt tends to act as a middle ground to facilitate between their arguments and how they act towards one another, and if they just sat down and tried to talk things out they’d probably never let go of each other ever again. There’s the potential to get along really well, but they’re also severely traumatised and have terrible ways of coping with that.

Speaking of Alt, in general he acts like a bit of a caregiver to them both, being the most mature out of all of them despite being the youngest system-wise. Being split with shallow emotions and holding Dude’s memories he’s a little more favourable towards Dude to the point of kinda being more than a little into him. He thinks his recklessness is cute. He’s a little silly. He’s got a weird way of deciding when to be the rational thinker and when he just wants to complete a goal in the most violent way possible. It’s not that he’s aching to get into trouble, he’s just more focused on getting the task done that a few rolling heads are just “casualties”. Bearing all this in mind though he usually tries to be both the angel and devil on Dude’s shoulder to varying effects. Shows his affection by being the more irritable son of a bitch in the world. He’s confusing. But he’s understandable once you actually give him the space to be honest about why he does the things he does, and he usually has Dude’s best interests at heart.

Dude can’t decide whether or not he wants to choke him to death or make out with him. Alt confuses him too much and he doesn’t like it.

He’s far more gentle with D on the other hand, though he doesn’t speak to him as much since D rarely wants to front, he’s able to calm him down enough to not freak out and have a breakdown on the worser nights. Very much cares for him though as to why even he doesn’t really understand. D still doesn’t fully trust him because he’s still this intruder who showed up one day, and it took D basically 15+ years to stop calling Dude a demon. But sometimes Alt gives him the comfort he usually craves from Dude and its more than enough to develop a fond opinion of him. They’ve talked a lot when they got the chance. They’re… close to an extent, Rarely gets pissed off at Alt.

Ugh I love these dysfunctional weirdos lmao

[writesailingdreams]

All In

All my immediate thoughts were more about Anne and Sprig and the Plantars and Andrias a little and Sasha and Grime. 😛

The intro does show off how, while Marcy felt she couldn't be open and felt ignored in some ways, she was still an influence in getting Anne to do things she maybe wouldn't want to do. (Also, Marcy, did you throw that pupper??)

Maybe it's the not-having-goals/working-hard-on-anything of Anne that resonates with me. Which is weird, since in school I was more like Marcy, getting good grades without having to strain myself. School stuff (socializing, assignments) was the thing you did outside and where you act a certain way, while home stuff was when you could just be yourself (you know, the self you didn't want to/couldn't/shouldn't share with others).

BUT ANYWAY.

I think Aldrich is a jerk for trying to sell Marcy on her fantasy.

I am proud of Marcy for rejecting it. I was then. I still am. Recognizing that she can't run away from problems is probably an important step to take. There's nothing wrong with loving fantastical stories. (I do.) But you can't just... I'm not sure how to say but...

Like, Marcy's rejection of the Core's offer is essentially her saying no to the ideology of the Core -- a highly sterilized, tunnel-vision that is only concerned with how everything benefits it; everything is for the Core; it deserves everything; it's smarter and better than everything and everyone else. And while Marcy never got that far, she did place a lot of importance on her intelligence.

But unlike the Core, this came from a place of human fear and fallibility; it came from a place of actually wanting to have friends and share things with those friends. And because she had the human (or emotional) element she could recognize that the Core/Aldrich was asking her (1) give that up (assimilation) and (2) to live in a restricted reality.

(Genuinely feel that if Andrias hadn't closed his heart off after, what was to him, Leif's betrayal and Barrel's failure, I think him and Marcy could have been actually close? And possibly a good influence on the other? Andrias gets to learn to have a friend again and Marcy gets someone who finds her interests captivating. (He sent a murderbot to get the second book in a series she got him hooked on.))

I do actually love that Marcy recognizes she can't live in a world where everything is exactly how she wants it to be. Then she puts her trust in her friends coming to rescue her, which is a BIG step for Marcy, imo. Instead of trying to plan how she can be useful or trying to find the way to likable, she's going to trust in other people.

(I had a thought that it was this isolation from the rest of the Core that allowed Marcy to be freed so easily. Cut the interface, Core's gone, but Marcy's no longer linked up to it.)

I also like that Marcy recognizes she can't make people like what she likes or do what she wants. The next step would be recognizing that there can be other ways to make/be friends. Who knows, there may be something outside of her usual interests that she might be able to connect with Anne and/or Sasha over? Or heck, maybe there are others out there who might be interested in the same subjects *cough*like Maddie*cough*

Additions:

Plantar - call me an anomaly but the heron stuff in this gets me like a sucker punch 😭

Sasha - her character development and relationship with Grime has been exceptionally amazing. I love it.

Story & Spranne - parallels b/w Anne and Sprig to Andrias and Leif, one positive, the other half negative/half positive. Basically, friends separating but having memories, but in one set, one of the friends becomes bitter, instead of treasuring the memories.

Plus, Sprig being the only one (friendship!) to go to help Anne (and read the letter). (foreshadow to The Hardest Thing)

[asm5129]

RWBY v9 E5 Thoughts & Analysis

The ever after gets prettier and prettier

No one complain about the visuals of the JL crossovers, because this is what we got with resources that could have gone to those

“when we break, or wear out, or simply finish what we were made to do, We’re called back. But Herb? His heart was too weak to listen. So i gave him a little bit of mine.”

So Herb was already being called back, presumably because he was “worn out” and trying to force change instead of just help people on their journey, but he just wasn’t able to listen to said call. Intriguing.  

So when you ascend, you become the person you wanted to be when you were your old self, but you don’t remember any of what or who you were prior to the change. 

Also intriguing that Ruby specifically asks if you keep your memories post-ascension. Are you considering something you want to share with the class, Ruby?

Love how this volume has clearly gotten the CRWBY to reflect on what they’ve been writing as well, as we’ve seen through the cat a la “exposition is terribly boring”. They’re really thinking about the nature of stories and how to tell them meaningfully. 

“I wonder what else Alyx left out” Hoo boy, i get the feeling that’s gonna have a doozy of an answer, Blake

I am so intrigued by the Blacksmith. Her design is fascinating. And, uh....as far as we know, she wasn’t in the book.

“Nothing, no one, is ever truly lost”

So lets get this out of the way--no, Penny’s not coming back. Stop it. There’s two ways i think the meaning of this line could play out

1) Ruby is tempted to ascend and “become” someone she think is more worthy of living than she is

2) People live on in the ways we carry them and everything we learned from them with us

currently, i’m on the “The Blacksmith is an Ascended Summer Rose” theory train, but then i was also dead wrong about the Rusted Knight--we’ll get there

She’s forging/smithing/whatever a butterfly something or other....wonder what that’s for. Other than symbolism, obviously

Little: ”Ruby, I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.” Everything about the blacksmith is framed as an almost unnatural addition to the Ever After--including CC seemingly not knowing about her.

“I’m fine. I can handle it” Ugh, Ruby, you poor girl

“If you change your mind, you can choose any one of these you like, and set your burden down.”

“They’re an extension of ourselves, they’re a part of us!”--Ruby, v1 about why she loves weapons

So, Crescent Rose is....perhaps, Ruby’s identity as a huntress?

Crescent rose is lost, that part of her is lost.  

I dunno exactly, we’ll see. But I’m positive that volume 1 line is at the core of everything we have seen concerning Crescent Rose this volume.

Penny’s sword. Alyx’s dagger. And of course, the one that broke the FNDM--Summer’s axe. 

Ever since Ruby and Salem confronted each other in volume 8, the silver eyes and Summer bring a sense of foreboding with them. They have changed completely from their heroic implications of volume 6.

What knowledge did you give her, Jinn?

The cat knocking things off the table casually is another great cat-based gag.

“It carries a mothers promise” this line has the potential to become one of the most heartbreaking things in the entire show.

Especially because in the Tuesday BtS video we got the line “a mother always fulfills her promise” from the cast and crew. Something absolutely soul crushing concerning Summer is on its way.

It is so like Ruby to put others first this way. People were in danger, her friends needed to return to normal to help, she knows how the barter system works in the Ever After, she gives her mothers emblem up without hesitation knowing its value will be enough.

It’s definitely weird to give Blake the line “whats a jabberwalker?” Weiss or Yang, sure. But Blake asking is weird. She is the most knowledgeable of the Ever After, she even knew about the Jabberwalker previously, right? Weird.

“If the jabberwalker eats us, we do not ascend” So it can essentially cut reincarnation short? Or maybe kill functionally immortal creatures? Seems like this could be interesting groundwork for the future...

The Rusted Knight! Blake fangirling over a fictional childhood hero come to life is just so wholesome.

Neo has officially moved beyond illusions. She can create tangible, seemingly even sentient replicas of existing, living things. So that’s not troubling at all. Course....do they have free will, or do they have to listen to Neo Prime? I guess we will learn soon enough.

‘We’ll hold them off”?! God i hope CC and thh bird guy are okay...

cuz, uh....not many are....tbh.....

JUNIPER

JNPR

My HEART

Jaune, what HAPPENED to you?

Do we get a flashback episode to see how he got to this state? 

So, no, I do not think Jaune ascended, he still has his memories

Yes, I think he aged normally, we already know theres time shenaniganery in the Ever After.

No, i don’t think he will return to his pre-Ever After age, RWBY doesn’t reverse big status quo shifts. It just doesn’t.

Also adding to Penny not coming back--If Penny could come back, Jaune would have done it already. 

So yeah. Also--

just the whole fact that there is a place in the world of RWBY where death doesn’t really exist when our main villain is literally incapable of dying, feels way too coincidental for my theory/analysis senses to ignore

 Just the fact that the ever after has two ways of an otherwise immortal life ending—one through choosing to become someone and something else entirely, or the other to be taken by a creature that is the only thing that can “kill” in this world, feels very important when dealing with an immortal villain

 Stopping Salem will come from something they learn in the Ever After, that’s clear as day Even if they don’t realize it for a few volumes

Or maybe that will be the moment Ruby finds hope again--when she realizes that something in the ever after can help her defeat Salem

[soullikethesea]

could you share what you did in therapy to achieve the fusions? We feel similar, not knowing what we are really doing or what the steps are.. if we even have to do any or if the healing relationship kind of just allows it to happen naturally

Well, you can read all about it on this blog. 😉 Nah, just kidding. But also, it's true.

So for me it happened quietly, under the radar. But looking back I can recognize some elements and these elements are consistent with the theory.

The theory says that the following aspects are needed:

- synthesis (connecting different elements of experiences/skills that were divided amongst you)

- realization (realizing that bad things happened and they happened to you, that it was bad, that needs were unmet and it still hurts, that it still affects life today)

- presentification (the part realizing that they live in the present rather than the past)

- personification (you realizing that what the part holds actually happened to you/belongs to you: re-connecting the different experiences of "I")

As you can probably tell, there is a bit of overlap between these steps. Steps towards integration happen all throughout therapy. Synthesis comes from accepting each other, switching more intentionally to share life/start to work together, sharing emotions/etc. Realization has more to do with starting to look at what happened.

All of these things require something called "capacity". Capacity means having resources and coping skills, space to actually take in this type of information and have it stick. It doesn't work at all to try to force these steps. For DID this takes years.

Now, my personal experience. Some trauma sharing ahead (TW).

For part-1, I think integration happened when I could fully accept the aspects she held as belonging to us as a whole. Things like yearning for touch, having a special interest in animals, and wanting to still play with toys. These things may not seem like a big deal, but they are all connected with trauma stuff. As a child I wasn't allowed to have strong interests, for example. If I showed true happiness, it meant that it would be taken away or used to manipulate me. And still wanting to play with toys was seen as a sign that I was a very immature child that would never amount to anything. So for me to accept these things was a big step in realizing that life is different now. That I can actually be "weird" and still be okay. That I don't need to keep those aspects in a different part of myself anymore (not like it is a conscious choice, of course. It's something that just... happens... based on trauma).

For part-2 it was a bit less spread out and more sudden, although also required years of work. The "breakthrough" happened when I was finally able to meet an old need in the present. His core memory was being cold and abandoned. In this case it really helped to buy material things, which sometimes seems like a quick fix, but alas. I got a polar bear plushie and a cozy chair and a light that changed colours. And these things combined convinced him that we actually care, it somehow got "implanted" in the original memory that he was stuck in. We sat in the chair holding the plushie and using the light for months and we still do it. I can feel him being soothed by that. We couldn't help ourselves back then, but we actually did in the present. For this part I also think that the therapeutic relationship is quite important, although I have no words for that aspect yet.

It still feels like the fusions could fall apart again, so time will tell if it sticks. I'm not attached to the outcome anymore like I used to be. Whatever happens is probably what is best for the system at that time.

[horned-teeth]

nobody asked, but i wanted to answer the kin-related asks anyways.

1. What was your first kintype?

either a cat or a dog. i remember my cat kintype being HUGE in my development, but i don't remember if that one came first or second. i was incredibly young when i first started PH-shifting from cat to dog as well (or whatever order it was) - definitely before i was school age, but i don't know when exactly it was.

2. What was it like discovering you were otherkin?

i didn't have a term for it, i just said "i am a cat" and my mom (actually a lot of my family did) encouraged that behavior and made all the other parents know that i was a cat. probably just so they could be aware if i was acting "weird," they could be prepared or at least know why.

but when i found a term for it, i was actually really, really comforted by it. i found out about it when i was around 13-14, but after a year or so i felt incredibly upset by it (since it was "cringe") because i was...a teenager. but i got over myself, and now i'm here.

3. Do/does your kintype(s) impact your personality/actions in any way? If so, how?

no, i don't think they do. granted, i think my personality and emotions are inherently tied to my otherkinship so i would still be myself but some specific theriotypes come out during heightened moments. or i just feel myself PH-shifting even more than i normally do.

4. What kintype(s) interest you most?

i'm not too sure what this is asking, but all of my theriotypes are animals i have an interest in and have a decent general knowledge of. they most likely wouldn't be a core part of who i am and my identity if i wasn't knowledgeable on them.

5. What do you like most about your own kintype(s)?

i love how they make me feel. i love how PH-shifting feels, even in intense moments where i can feel my horns grow in, fangs get sharper, or rapidly shift into multiple things all at once.

i also like the fact that i'm not the only person in this world who feels like this. it's a massive comfort just knowing there are people who feel the same exact way as i do. i may not be active within the community (or even on my own blog), but it is nice reading things and knowing exactly what that experience is because it's completely shared. it means a lot to me.

6. What do you dislike most about your own kintype(s)?

i love my kintypes a lot - but i hate the fact that some of them i cannot visualize in my head very clearly. some of them i for sure can, but not all of them and it frustrates me.

my shapeshifting kintype can be really annoying too. i will be enjoying my own PH-shifts and then someone talks about having things i don't normally have, and then i suddenly start mimicking that person's shifts. it's also frustrating that my shapeshifting kin can really easily confuse me when it comes to figuring out more eccentric kins - am i actually [animal] or am i just shifting into it for no reason other than i saw it.

but the worst thing about my kins is how othering it feels to be different. i wouldn't trade having kins for anything in the world, but it is frustrating not being able to be "normal" and sounding insane to the average person when i talk about my experiences or feelings.

7. Are you questioning any kintype(s)? If so, which one(s)?

a few. my most recent one has been whether or not i'm a centaur but i'm having the shapeshifting issue with figuring it out, lol.

i kin horses and my shapeshifter kin can make me take "non-standard" or eccentric body plans, so i kind of feel like it's those two merging - but recently, i've been getting these shifts a lot so i have genuinely no clue yet.

8. What is your favorite kin-related memory or thought?

a lot of things. stotting/pronking is one that i think about a lot, and i wish my physical body could move like that.

9. Do you have any phantom limbs? What are they?

oh god do i. as mentioned, i can take really eccentric body plans (for example, i've had one where i feel like i take up the entire room with a lot of legs centipede style) but my standard ones are tail (though the shape is almost always changing), very curly ram horns, different kinds of legs (hooves are my most common), the list really goes on.

10. What kind of things make your certain kintypes happy?

mostly reinforcing the idea that i am those animals - because... i am! but playing certain games, engaging in petplay and other similar fetishes, being treated like an animal, and things like that make me incredibly happy.

11. What is your favorite uncommon kintype?

i think the majority of mine are uncommon...? my sheepkin is the one that brings me the most comfort, but my paleotheriotypes and my insect theriotypes make me happy :]

12. What is your favorite common kintype?

i'm just a doggyyyyy. i'm just a little puppyyyyyyy. woof woof

13. How did you find out you were otherkin?

well, before i knew what the term was it was mostly down to me just wanting and yearning to be an animal - and also just being an animal. i'm really, really autistic about animals and i always have been, so that heavily influenced the way i behaved.

but i found out about the term otherkin (and therian) through a friend, and then later youtube wolf therian packs (there was one with non-wolves & polytherians i remember, and it made me feel so...overjoyed) and tumblr blogs. i never joined a forum or anything specifically for otherkins, because non-roleplay forums scared me lol... this was also during the time where therians (i believe other-hearted was the most popular term at the time) weren't really accepting of polytherians, or at least not polytherians that had more than 3-5 kins. and i have always had a LOT... so i was especially not interested in joining forums, lol.

14. What activities do/does your kintype(s) enjoy?

being with my friends and being a swag ass gamer

15. What kind of weather do/does your kintype(s) enjoy?

i don't have any differences for weather between my kintypes. sunny weather does give me many different animal reactions though but that's because it feels good not because it's "tied" to my kintypes.

16. What types of places do/does your kintype(s) enjoy?

open grassy fields where i can't see buildings are the best spots for me. especially if there's visible trees...

17. What kinds of food do/does your kintype(s) like?

bloody as fuuuuck beef and beef jerky. chicken sometimes too but mostly red meat makes me a happy doggy.

18. Do you tell people outside of Tumblr about your kintypes?

my friends know, and i know there's a non-zero number of people i'm not friends with who know. i don't know that number exactly, but... it's not zero.

19. What, if any, attributes of yourself remind you of your kintype(s)?

all of them because i am my kintypes and they are me.

20. What kind of things make your kinfeels stronger?

getting petted. jumping and running around. my emotional reactions. things of that nature.

21. What types of company do/does your kintype(s) enjoy?

being around the same animals or similar animals compared to me. i love being around other sheep or some goats, even deer makes me happy.

22. Do you like the blogs about recipes for certain kin?

no not really. i don't personally find the point in them, but food itself isn't important to my kins even if meat makes me feel More like a dog than i normally do.

23. Do you like the blogs about clothing/fashion for kin?

i actually hate these, lol. i don't care if people personally like dressing closer to their kintype, but it's annoying to meeee when kin tags are 99% clothing - especially considering i'm a fat person and the clothes that are always recc'd are kept in mind for skinny people.

24. Do any certain music types appeal to your kin(s)? If so, what kind(s)?

no.

25. How many kintypes do you have?

last i checked, it was a little over 60 but it could be more by now. this is including my fictkins, not just my theriotypes though. but majority of my kins are theriotypes so....take it as you will.

like i said, i come from when people like me would be called "fakers" but i genuinely have no control over what i'm connected to, when i'm connected to it, and why i'm connected to it. but all of my kins are so strong for me, and it's not an "i like this" it's a "this is literally me" and physically feeling those kins.

26. Do you want more/less kintypes?

moreeeeee :3

27. Do you decorate/have decorations in your room/house that relate to your kintype(s)?

no, but i probably would in the future.

28. Do any certain smells appeal to your kintype(s)?

dirt and mud.

29. Is/are your kintype(s) attracted to any types of people, personality-wise?

no, it's about me not my kins.

30. Does anything about yourself contrast the stereotypes of your kin(s)?

there's not enough sheepkin who are aggressive nasty rams. i HATE going through the sheepkin tag and seeing the "softboi" stuff. i have angry ram rage and i am going to kill someone with my fucking hooves

31. What feels like home to your kintype(s)?

autism nests

32. Do/does your kintype(s) enjoy any TV shows, movies, etc. in particular?

this question in particular shows me that these questions were not made for someone who gets mad abt incredibly online people but it's fine. no

33. Do/does your kintype(s) look drastically different from your human form?

of course! all except my humanoid-based ones (and even then, only some parts of them)... you need to imagine me as an arapawa ram or irish terrier or else. (or another one of my kintypes.)

34. What does your favorite kintype of yours look like?

like dis:

35. What is/are your kintype(s)?

i have too many to list them here. just read my pinned post or click my kinlist link on my blog header.

36. Do you have any fictionkin type(s)? If so, what are they?

a lot but i'm not listing them here.

37. When did you discover your first kintype?

when i was a little kid...!

38. Do/does your kintype(s) prefer light or darkness more?

N/A.

39. Do you have any collections that relate to your kintype(s)? (ex: a hoard of jewels for a dragonkin)

no, but none of my kins do that. it'd be cool though.

40. Have you picked up any hobbies or activities because of your kintype(s)?

not that i can think of, no. but it's possible?

41. Do/does your kintype(s) enjoy intimacy or space?

i don't think my preference for this is on my kins honestly.

42. Have you met anyone else with the same kintype(s) as you?

some of them but not my super intense ones. my werewolf one used to be pretty intense and i know a lot of people with werewolf kins, but i don't know anyone right now that's a sheep kinnie and it makes me kinda sad. i have a handful of goat friends though and that makes up for it

43. Do you enjoy talking to people with the same kintype(s) as you?

i've never had the chance, and i'd like to but i will be honest with the state that the sheepkin tag is . i don't want to. i am the world's biggest hitter.

44. Do you dress differently based on your kintype(s)?

no

45. How long have you had your oldest kintype?

my dog is from when i was a kid, my werewolf is from when i was a teenager.

46. Does anything give you specific kinfeels? (ex: music, certain movies, etc.)

a LOT of the games i play. the isle, path of titans, wolfquest, red dead, a lot of roblox games, etc. i am an animal game connoisseur because of my autism

47. Is/are your kintype(s) stereotypically “good” or “bad”?

mixed bag. i hope i am the opposite of what's expected though.

48. Do you express your kintype(s) in some way? If so, how do you express them? (ex: art, dancing, etc.)

yeah i would say i express them in the same way. i draw but i'm not sure i would ever upload my artwork here.

49. Are you having trouble accepting any kintype(s)? If so, what kintype(s) and why?

no

50. What was the first kintype you’ve heard of?

i think probably wolfkin ? i'm not sure lol

[ame-to-ame]

okay now that it's been months and nobody knows me here i can finally admit a secret idek guilt? I'd hid from my ex gf while we were dating bc i just saw a cute lesbian comic and was just reminded

like first of all premises: 1) i was a huge simp in silence for my ex. by in silence i mean i probably liked her more than what i could express to her so she probably does not know the extent of downbadness i was. by that i mean i would regularly text my friends abt things how in love i was w her. by that i mean i spent half of my existence trying to tone it down and try to keep level headed abt it bc i really think if my ex had asked me for my bank account password at some point i might have just given it no questions asked. by that i mean my friends teased me regularly and i was proud of it. 2) i am not a big romance person. shocking. despite clause 1. and so being down bad is sometimes so embarrassing for myself. i don't like pda and i don't like a lot of certain staples in romance. so it's scary for me when i like someone so much i want to do things i usually don't like. 3) I'm also not a big picture person. bad experiences w taking pictures w my mom. bad experiences of seeing myself in photos and experiencing what is probably gender dysphoria or hating how i look to the core. i only take and keep pictures where i look cute.

so that being said. There was one time when my ex wasn't noticing and when we were kissing i had her iPad and i was playing around w it before and i took a picture and it was really really fucking cute. and uh. idk. Yeah. i really wanted to keep it but i didn't. want her to see it or know i wanted it bc that's embarrassing. so i just. deleted it. and deleted it from the trash too.

but it's kinda one of the things i regretted the most after the break up bc i really don't have much as a keepsake for the good parts of the relationship. i was always scared of asking to take pictures of her and us because i didn't want to go too fast or let her know, i guess, in a weird way, how much i was into her. i don't really have anything physical to keep as memento compared to last relationships, and not much digital either. I gave back the only thing she gave me in the relationship.

to be fair right after the break up the focus really was on moving past it as quickly as i could. so i did. practically delete every picture i did have of her. get rid of every single reminder there was. even if i did have the picture it probably would have the same fate. but all of that would still be retrievable if i tried. it's kinda at one point when you're okay about things then you feel some sort of. idk. idk. it's like an old friend.

i think it's mostly just that I'm already having some memory loss when it comes to it. There will be a point when i can't remember those times at all and all i will be able to remember is the aftermath. i don't know if i want that. unlike the previous one i was actually pretty happy while i was in the relationship. but i already can't really remember things anymore and they're all so fuzzy. i remember certain events only when there's some sort of association. i can't really quite remember what our first date was like. where did we go. what did we do. i don't really know actually.

and idk it's something that i'd want to be able to remember and think favorably about so it's just a bit regretful that i didn't have anything to remember by.

but i think also part of it is the regret that i tried so hard to do things right that i didn't really get to even talk about the things i would have wanted to experience. i think in another life i would have liked to be able to ask to have that picture without taking it in secret or by accident. i think in another life i would have liked to be able to ask for pictures to keep as my homescreen and lockscreen. in another life i would get matching keychains or accessories. in another life i would have been able to say how much i liked her without being afraid of scaring her and being afraid of how much i liked her myself. In the end i won the i love you more competition! She was adamant when she said it. She said I couldn't possibly understand how much she liked me. I don't think she could possibly understand how much i adored her. Maybe in another life.

Next time when i fall in love i don't want to be scared anymore. I want to be brave and ask for the things i want. i want to love selfishly next time. i really hope i still have the capacity to adore someone to the extent i liked my ex.

[the-gayest-show]

You intrigue me. You never heard of or seen many of the cartoons of the 90’s/2000’s and you are part of the 1% who doesn’t….**gulp** care about the Spider-Verse movie? (even though many non-Marvel fans love it, it’s just that versatile)…

May I ask: What were your interests growing up? I had a typical media consumption childhood, so that’s all I know. What did you know growing up?

I suppose I am quite weird that way.

I mean I'm not very old so that probably contributes to my lack of knowledge of 90s/2000s stuff (i know names and stuff now but never actually seen the shows or even heard of them before a year to even a few months ago),

But it's also the fact I grew up without cable television and the media consumption I had was TVOkids, occasional bits of CityTV (I watched a bit of Modern Family sometimes), and CBC (I watched a Murdoch Mysteries thru the ages of 9-11). I LOVED CBC Marketplace and Murdoch Mysteries as a kid, I still do watch both of them to an extent and they're the two things that stuck with me.

I don't entirely know what "typical media consumption childhood" means to you, but I don't entirely think I had it very "typical", considering if I mention the shows I grew up with (Jack, Science Max Experiments At Large, Odd Squad, Wild Kratts, etc) I bet you'd know a few of them but certainly not all of them lol. Some of them I can't even find properly on google unless I actually try and some of the shows I've watched feel like a fever dream and I sometimes doubt I actually watched the shows simply because they're so unknown, even to Dr. Google.

I even watched some of the typical "adult" shows (well, shows that you don't find the average kid watching but aren't gore-y or swearing or anything like that), because TVOkids didn't go on forever and ended at 7pm on the dot and transitioned to normal TVO, which had boring stuff like documentaries and The Agenda (i still don't know what that's about, but I never stuck around to find out). Even CBC had a CBC Kids section but that went on for even less time than TVOkids so I rarely spent much time on that channel. So as a kid who only went to bed at 8pm you found other things to watch on the other channels on your TV (we didn't have normal streaming services so there wasn't even that lol).

I even watched a bit of Just For Laughs with my family because it was essentially visual comedy with 0 sound and my parents have english as a second language so it's something anyone could understand without needing to understand certain concepts. Just For Laughs is essentially just pranks that these hosts (they're always the same people) play on random street people and then they show them the camera at the end. It's rlly funny, check it out lol.

I literally never had access to channels like Cartoon Network, Disney, and your typical cartoon channels because being Canadian shuts it down almost immediately. Even now when I specifically try to access it legally (for free) I can't. I've only in the recent few years learned about the magic of piracy and getting what you want, when you want but otherwise I wouldn't have even been able to watch the shows I do love atm.

As a side note, I was also raised with Ukrainian/Russian shows like vinnie pooh (the russian one, i didn't know there was an english one until i was 11 lol) and cheburashka. Both of these even upon google search bring up core childhood memories and I do love them so much. Also buratino (the movie i think, don't remember whether it was cartoon or live-action) was something I remember watching (there's a certain song which I can recite with lyrics and tune is something I still carry with me as a very crystal clear memory).

Edit: Wow. The English names of the russian shwos I watched are very disappointing. Wow. Also here's another gem I remembered. One of my favorites growing up.

Even then I guess I'm not really... interested in most of the 90s/00s shows unless the concept is good (also bc I'm already watching so many shows rn I don't I'd handle more than I'm currently watching/planning to watch).

Anyways this answer turned out to be much longer than I thought this would be but that's basically the rundown of my very interesting media consumption. I am "Gen Z" by all accounts but even then I don't think my interests were very usual lol.

[theloserarmy]

I’m realizing the fact that I struggle with some traditional breakfast foods might be related to the time my mom asked me if I would like her to make breakfast in the morning like my friends mom did and I was honest (at the time I was drinking a can of Diet Coke for breakfast every morning) and she screamed at me because I was ungrateful and didn’t understand how hard she worked. At the time I was also packing my own lunches for school, and packing her lunches, and she was a teacher at the school I was going to at the time so we rode together so I had to be ready at the same time as her.

[entryno17]

hi! since you're a big gaster fan and know a lot about him, i was hoping you could explain something to me. a popular theory is the dadster idea, where he is the father to sans and papyrus. but i dont understand why him being related to them is such a common assumption. i cant recall anything in the game that implies they are related. i know there's a couple subtle hints that sans worked for him, but afaik theres nothing that shows papyrus and gaster knew each other at all. if they were closely related wouldnt they bring him up at some point, even in a small way (like papyrus telling you his dad made the core or smth like that)? plus gaster doesnt have a special reaction to their names in deltarune when he does for other characters, and its not hinted anywhere that he had a family. just seems like a pretty big detail for them to all ignore or never bring up. could there be something i am missing?

you’re right—there’s actually no evidence implying their relation (unless you wanna talk about grandpa semi but let’s not get into that lmao), so it’s nothing more than a popular headcanon. it’s really just based on the fact that sans and papyrus are two skeleton brothers that speak in special fonts, so unless all skeletons speak in weird fonts in the underground?—the conclusion most people draw is that they’re related in some way.

as for papyrus seemingly being unfamiliar with gaster—this is a part where it’s completely up to interpretation. there are a lot of potential factors regarding this, and there’s definitely no right answer (that we know of, anyway). i’ll try to break down a few different things i think are worth bringing up.

1. the extent of memory retained between timelines/resets is INCREDIBLY ambiguously specified. (this is under the assumption that gaster was forgotten/erased after his ‘death’, which i talked about here.) we don’t know how much sans remembers gaster either—we don’t even know if he remembers him at all, which is a very real possibility. sans doesn’t have a special power to remember things between resets and timelines, he’s only able to notice them due to 1. prior research on the topic, and 2. generally being a really perceptive guy (as we know from his judgements, his continual observation of the player throughout their journey, etc). he could know that something’s wrong or that there’s parts of his past that he can’t remember, but there’s a real chance that even sans doesn’t know who gaster is, only knowing vaguely that he existed. based on his “don’t forget” note and how you interpret it, retaining memory is clearly important to him—hence the reminder he wrote for himself.

the deja vu that characters show between resets is never really explained in full; it’s probably meant to be vague, and it’s something that every character seems to have. what it entails or what its extent is, we have no idea. maybe the memory that persists through it varies in some way, depending on circumstances? we have no clue. maybe sans has some vague memory of gaster, maybe he remembers way more; again, there’s no way to tell. he never directly mentions gaster either, after all.

taking all this into account, it’s possible papyrus doesn’t know anything at all. if he’s unaware of resets, maybe he doesn’t remember anything. but, if he IS aware of them...

2. papyrus is a liar. he’s incredibly secretive, and honestly more mysterious than gaster imo. we have no way of knowing how much or how little he knows about gaster or anything else; if he does know everything, he certainly wouldn’t give us any clues about it. there’s a lot of analysis on the weirder parts of papyrus, but i’ll bring up a few important bits of information.

the most important thing in my opinion is, of course, this:

which, uh...

... yeah! he has those too! what the fuck!

many people have also pointed out that papyrus seems to really hate hotland for some reason, which is where gaster presumably worked as the royal scientist. maybe there's some relation there? and before you enter the core, papyrus tells you that he won’t be able to call you anymore... which is kinda weird, because alphys calls you in the core. repeatedly. (and if you consider gaster’s weird association with phones, specifically with them not working... uhh??)

AND...!!!

we still don’t know what this means. i’m afraid to know what this means.

what i’m trying to say is that there is a wealth of strange gaster/papyrus connections. i couldn’t possibly go over all of them, but MAN. they are present.

3. gaster actually DOES react to sans and papyrus’s names in deltarune! here’s a list of all the names that get a special reaction:

notably he doesn’t react to any darkner names, but he does acknowledge sans and papyrus. so he definitely KNOWS them, at the very very least.

in conclusion, i forgot this post was supposed to be about dadster. oops. but yeah—there are far too many connections between the three skeletons to dismiss their relation, and though we don’t know how they’re related, familial relationship is a popular theory.

... they’re a font family. (rimshot)

[technicallyoneofakind]

I'm thinking about the whole Kellogg taking over Nick's brain again. And I thought of (and partially dreamt of) a multi-ending quest line for it.

So! It starts with the Eddie Winter Quest (after the Memory Den he gave me that quest so that's where I'm starting.) As you find the tapes, you get a requirement to talk to Nick about the tape which he has you play back just to confirm its authenticity.

At first Nick seems relatively fine, maybe a bit reflective on the case of whatever the first tape you find is. Your dialogue may vary.

Then, subtly, Nick starts saying things that doesn't seem relevant to the tapes in some parts of his dialogue.

And at first you brush it aside thinking it's just weird dialogue, but Nick starts to get more and more "off" with each tape- saying things that Kellogg would say to the player in Nick's voice but not actively doing anything against you.

Nick tries to brush it off himself also near the middle of the quest, claiming it's a bit of stray memory left over from Kellogg and nothing more. However, after the last tape, you confront Nick about Kellogg affecting his speech... because for a moment Kellogg breaks through again like in the Memory Den.

Now, you have three choices that will permanently affect Nick's behavior as a companion at this point depending on what you choose. This is where the multiple quest ending comes in.

1.

You put Nick out of his misery. Over the conversation, Nick gets worse and worse and if you act as if you don't trust him or are scared of him, the more Kellogg seizes control.

You may either fight Kellogg!Nick or choose a dialogue where you kill him instantly with some heartbreaking parting words from the detective. Kellogg!Nick I expect to be difficult if Nick is stocked up on weapons and ammo at the time. This fails the Eddie Winter quest line.

2.

You convince Nick to fight Kellogg back with no other assistance. Your support is key in giving him the strength to keep the bastard from controlling his body and mind completely.

Kellogg does resurface from time to time during other points of the game and might affect persuasion attempts, but movement, battle, and ally wise, Nick mostly remains the same aside from the occasional weird dialogue from Kellogg when you talk to him.

You still get to fight Eddie Winter but Nick's reflection of events of Human!Nick get confused with Kellogg's own memories due to the corruption never being really fixed.

2.

Kellogg gets expunged at the memory den. You convinced him to get help and gave him moral support to fight Kellogg until you get him to the Memory Den. Dr. Amari sits you back in the chair and you go through a similar process to reading Kellogg's memories.

This time, things are much more interesting. Kellogg's memories try to fight you and your only weapons are an old revolver and your fists. You actually can die trying to clear Kellogg's memories from Nick's mind.

You have help, though. Human!Nick is there from the core memories. He's the visual representative of the system fighting to keep Kellogg at bay while the mercs you fight are Kellogg's.

Human!Nick doesn't always address you and there are stages where he's a lot less effective thanks to the corruption. This changes from stage to stage. Each have moments of Human!Nick's life that shows more of who he was as a cop and his relationship with Jenny- her memory being the most colorful and bright, representing how much Past!Nick and Current!Nick cared for her.

Each memory is more broken than the last. They play out (or try to) before the system deploys Human!Nick to help you ward off another attack. At a certain depth, Human!Nick stops being able to help all together but that doesn't mean the system (Current!Nick) isn't done helping you.

The system provides a safepoint/area to restock and aqcuire very specific armor you can only have in the memories (armored polished looking version of Nick's current attire I would think. Or an armored suit.) It gives you a special gun that Human!Nick used to use as a cop. This gun is more affective than the one you already use.

Oh and did I mention he disguised this safe area as a 1960s/70s black and white TV ad, complete with Nick's special brand of silliness? During this he does stress "protecting your family" or "purchasing" food or medicine to "keep you healthy" in that classical TV ad tone to guide the player. All the items are preserved so they don't give you rads.

After the safepoint you continue and notice... no more Human!Nick helping you. It's mostly Kellogg and his goons from this point further.

The last memory before you reach Kellogg himself and fight him is a deeply corrupted memory of Jenny's murder- you only get to see bits and pieces of it, but it's more vivid than the rest.

When you get to Kellogg, he sends synths at you. Some synths look like Current!Nick with a missing hat or face, some are missing entire parts of their bodies- representing what he's attempted to take over. It's a struggle, but eventually you beat him in a memory of the room you killed him in.

Once he's dead, the stage takes the form of Amari's office, albeit with some glitchiness at first.

The Synths you beat fighting Kellogg are reset and start milling about wordlessly until you talk to what looks like a patchwork version of Human!Nick and Current!Nick standing in the center of the room.

When he thanks you, you realize the other Synths talk for him for some phrases, like multiple cores on a CPU breaks up a task into smaller bits of data. It's Current!Nick talking, but the patchwork person in front you represents his conflict with his human memories and is essentially his core.

He reassures you that everything's back to normal, he's okay, and tells you he'll see you when you wake up on the other side.

Once you wake up, our good old detective friend is already in the same place you found him in last time you went to the Memory Den.

You get to talk to him about Past!Nick. If you bring up Jenny, he tells you that he'll talk to you about it later, saving it for the end of the Eddie Winter quest line.

---

So yeah. I really wanted a side quest where Kellogg is doing things in the background and causing Nick terrible trouble along with an opportunity to see some of who Human!Nick was. But we never got one.

[fellcharas]

my deltarune theory(ies?)

DISCLAIMER: i am not an actual theorist and i wrote this all from memory! this is taking into consideration the possibility that chara is involved in the making of deltarune (1, 2) as well as other widely believed theories (gaster being involved)

putting a read more because this shit is LONG so buckle up

start with the basics?

something i was thinking about last night is how it’s interesting that we don’t know very much about susie’s home life or her reason for being “the bully.” while there are certainly hints that point to it not being great at all, there’s nothing directly confirming what it’s like.

however something that many people have pointed out is that through the numerous odd similarities deltarune and undertale have, there is the clam girl. for those who don’t know, clam girl is a NPC that you encounter if your game’s fun value is between 80 and 89 and you’re not playing a no mercy route. she talks of her neighbor’s daughter, suzy, and tells frisk that they should become friends with her. but she notes the fact that frisk would have no idea where suzy is yet fate will find a way for them to meet.

in the true pacifist epilogue of undertale with a fun value of 81, clam girl explains that the time frisk (or we, the players) will meet suzy is “fast approaching.” this specific term is yellow in text and her sprite becomes grayscale. then she abruptly vanishes, the noise as she does so being the same noise used for the mystery man and gaster follower 2 sprites when interacting with them. interestingly, her grayscale sprite is “spr_clam_goner”, not much different than goner kid. this dialogue was also added right before the release of deltarune.

so... who is suzy? while it is possible that suzy could just be susie with a different name for undertale’s sake, it’s also possible that suzy could be susie’s sister, likely younger. catty, returning from undertale, has a little sister in deltarune named catti. there isn’t much significance that i could add that would make it likely suzy is susie’s little sister other than this, but i felt it was worth mentioning so do with it what you will.

so... what else?

after interacting with clam girl, if you do the work necessary to access sans’ basement (or “lab”), you’ll be able to find a description of a photo inside one of the drawers that points out there are “three smiling people” with the text “don’t forget” written on it. this has been pointed out several times before due to the fact “don’t forget” is the deltarune song that plays at the end of ch1 (and ch2 although remixed?). if i recall correctly there is no other way of finding this flavor text except for interacting with clam girl. interesting.

lots of people believe that the covered machine in sans’ lab is a time machine. with sans’ many connections to gaster, it’s also possible that this could be a machine gaster made and had broken. it is said to be unfixable.

gaster is confirmed to have created the core. but i don’t believe this is what he fell into. it’s never specified what he fell into, just that it was his creation. so i believe that gaster fell into the time machine. and by taking entry number 17 into account, we are met with the possibility that the time machine might involve a black hole. fortunately for you guys black holes is a special interest of mine, so i can explain this easily.

basically, the anatomy of a black hole, or the structure, consists of the following:

event horizon

singularity

photon sphere

ergosphere

the event horizon of a black hole is the shadowy dark sphere that we see in images. it is a boundary in spacetime where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape. once having crossed the event horizon, the nature of spacetime begins to deform, causing space’s usual three dimensions (length, width, height) to form only one dimension (movement forward) and time’s usual one dimension (into the future) to form three dimensions (past, present, and future). spacetime is what makes up our reality. remember this. and, as predicted by einstein’s theory of general relativity, mass bends spacetime (imagine our universe as a flat plane, and the mass of our earth causes a dip in the space underneath it), so a black hole’s mass warps spacetime so strongly that any direction you try to go in once having crossed the event horizon will lead you to the singularity. (at least... for a non-rotating, non-charged black hole.)

the singularity is a gravitational singularity, a region that may lie at the center of a black hole wherein the curvature/deformation of spacetime becomes infinite. because all black holes spin (due to their last moments as stars involving very fast rotational speeds), the singularity in a rotating black hole’s mathematics smears out to form a ring singularity (ringularity) that lies in the plane of rotation. in this case (as well as the case of a non-rotating black hole), the region has zero volume. and because of all of the black hole’s mass being held in this region, the singularity can be thought of as having infinite density. within a rotating black hole it is possible to avoid the singularity, and extending this solution as far as possible reveals the hypothetical possibility of exiting the black hole into a different spacetime (region of reality) with the black hole acting as a wormhole.

the photon sphere is a spherical boundary of zero thickness in which photons (elementary, electromagnetic radiation particles, associated with light) that move on tangents (the tangent line to a plane curve at a given point is the straight line that "just touches" the curve at that point) to that sphere would be trapped in a circular orbit about the black hole. while light can still escape from the photon sphere, any light that crosses the photon sphere on an inbound trajectory will be captured by the black hole.

lastly, the ergosphere is a region of spacetime found in rotating black holes in which it is impossible to stand still. basically, it’s like a whirlpool, and any object near the black hole will tend to start moving in the direction of rotation.

okay, so... what does this have to do with entry number 17?

WELL, here’s the dialogue from entry number 17. i’ll bold the key parts that i feel tie the possibility of this being a time machine to the time machine involving a black hole:

ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN DARK DARKER YET DARKER THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER PHOTON READINGS NEGATIVE THIS NEXT EXPERIMENT SEEMS VERY VERY INTERESTING ... WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK

as you can probably tell by now, it’s possible that this description of growing darkness, no photons, is similar to that of what a black hole is like.

but why would gaster create a black hole as part of a time machine? well, my idea is that he didn’t mean to do so. he likely concentrated enough energy or mass that caused a black hole to accidentally form. this black hole would have been small in diameter, thus having an incredibly short lifespan, its evaporation being violent. this would have broken the machine entirely. however, for the sake of undertale being a video game, it’s understandable why sans (and possibly papyrus or alphys) would be okay and why the machine is still relatively in tact.

it’s unclear to me why gaster would want to make a time machine. because time travel in the sci-fi sense (involving the grandfather paradox) is likely impossible without breaking the fabric of our reality, this could also be explained for why it went so horribly wrong for gaster. and - fun fact - once you cross the event horizon, you are lost to the universe forever. every particle you are made of, every little bit of energy you hold within your existence, is lost to the outside universe. forever. this is called the black hole information paradox. however, realistically, those who are outside of the black hole will still remember you, but in gaster’s sense... i don’t think this is what happened.

it’s possible that gaster managed to avoid the singularity, if the black hole he crossed was rotational. however, because he couldn’t leave the black hole, he could have traveled to different points in spacetime. this is why he was shattered across time and space as his followers describe, because undertale confirms that within its world, this possible existence of a black hole allows for wormholes to exist.

but... but wait. no, no, no. we can’t think of undertale as space-time. why? because sans himself confirms that the continuum of undertale’s reality is a time-space continuum. he puts time before space, which could be intentional and thus swapping their roles. within undertale this means that time is 3-dimensional, explaining the existence of save points and the ability to reset and load. space, on the other hand, is 1-dimensional, meaning you can only ever go one way which is to the end of the game. even if you load previous save files, you’ll still end up finished.

so if gaster was shattered across time and space, it’s possible that he was also shattered beyond. it’s believed that he had some sense of awareness, that he found out he was in a game with multiple different timelines, thus starting his “experiment.” he created the blueprints for the determination extraction machine, and because it’s also widely believed that he and chara were in cahoots with each other, maybe gaster wanted to extract some of chara’s determination and make something for himself. and maybe he succeeded in some way, not by extracting chara’s but by making his own somehow. it’s unknown right now to me. (though if he acquired determination somehow, that would make sense if the mysteryman sprite was him, considering the weird markings or drippy things on his face as well as the general blob-like look.)

so this implies that deltarune’s reality is a time-space continuum as well?

yes. gaster was smart, brilliant even, but it’s likely he didn’t know much beyond the nature of his own reality. when creating deltarune he made the reality of its universe something similar to undertale’s, with 3-dimensional time and 1-dimensional space. if gaster had the determination or something more, enough to persist even as a remnant of a shattered being outside his own reality, then this makes sense as to how he’d be able to create deltarune. if he’s forgotten to everyone within the world of undertale, and (in some abstract way for the sake of kris, jevil, spamton and possibly others) known to nobody in deltarune, yet he created deltarune, he isn’t dead. he’s something else. he’s a god.

and this is why chara is in cahoots with him, even now.

see, chara has determination. they didn’t fall into the underground intentionally; they tripped (1, 2). given these facts and theories it’s likely that chara had determination, or hope, the ability to persevere and keep going no matter what. chara had a red soul like frisk’s, which is what made their essence attach to frisk’s body. that’s why they are tethered to us via name and stats and narration. and as we all know, the red soul symbolizes determination. power.

but while chara is very much their own person, they are still what their name was meant to imply: a character. chara reflects the will of the player; they are not the player theirself, they are their own person, but due to their attachment to frisk (and by extension, us) they act as a mirror for what we do in undertale. and sadly for them, gaster is much more powerful due to his circumstances. gaster is more like us than chara is.

and given deltarune’s theme of nobody’s choices mattering, nobody having any real control over what they do or say, if we take into consideration the fact that chara speaks in the no mercy route about destroying "this" world and "moving onto the next" and asking "when were [we] the one in control", then it’s clear that they have something to do with the theme of deltarune. chara has only ever wanted control, whether that be a good or bad thing is currently out if the question. they wanted control over their own life when they were alive in undertale, and now they want control over other people. anything they feel is a good thing for them to have control over, they will reach for it.

the gonermaker sequence in chapter 1 is abruptly cut off by someone who speaks VERY similarly to chara, in contrast to the person from before who we all agree is gaster (in both japanese and english, it is very chara-esque way of speaking). now, why is this called the gonermaker? my guess is because chara has been discarding all these vessels, making gaster’s experiment much more difficult to start off and get going.

all the gaster followers from undertale, including goner clam girl and goner kid, show up in deltarune. they are fully colored sprites. the only goner character who doesn’t show up in deltarune is the one WE create in chapter 1′s beginning sequence. and i think that’s because they are set up to reappear, at some point in one of deltarune’s future chapters.

so, chara has been discarding all of the vessels, all the followers, all the now-goners because they know that these people will never have control over their lives. as long as they are shallow vessels meant to worship and serve our (the players’) and gaster’s desires (to play a game and experiment, thereby affecting an entire world/universe), they have no autonomy over themselves. and this resonates with chara for a multitude of reasons we can tie back to undertale. they state that "no one can choose who they are in this world," because it’s true. no one can choose who they are. not in a world dominated by gods like us and gaster. and that’s why chara discards these vessels and characters who were probably once their own real persons, as a means of sparing them from what they lacked for theirself: control. and no matter what, even if chara didn’t interrupt, we would have still ended up as kris because again No One Can Choose Who They Are In This World. chara was making gaster’s sick joke plain and simple for us, that it applies to us in some way too.

so then... what’s the deal with spamton and jevil? 

well, i think they are people who encountered gaster (this is widely believed anyway) and convinced themselves that they were significant for this knowledge that they are in a game, knowledge gaster told them of, driving them both insane and robbing them of who they were meant to be. and because nobody can choose who they are in deltarune, when they try to break free nothing changes or has a happy outcome, because it’s sadly just not possible to change your fate in deltarune.

this presumably-fact becomes clearer with spamton, though. and that’s why kris becomes so afraid, both at the end of spamton neo’s pacifist battle and his snowgrave battle. because kris can’t choose who they are, either. kris is like spamton, a puppet. a heart on a chain. they don’t have full control over who they are and trying to break free only hurts them more, as we see whenever they tear their soul out of their body and disable our input. but, maybe it’ll be different for kris, because they ARE the protagonist. but right now it feels like they’ve given up on the idea of having control over theirself. the only rebelling they do is work to open a dark fountain, thereby continuing the story of deltarune and, really, only helping us more in terms of playing the game.

and i mean, it’s also obvious that gaster holds influence over kris, too, considering the weird hidden encounters where you interact with something and see a man smiling or waving at you or giving you an egg. and this egg doesn’t change into a ball of trash like every other dark world item once you return to the light world. it stays the same. i can’t really remember the significance of eggs when it comes to gaster other than his whole existence being left as an Easter Egg but i do know that on the date with papyrus in undertale, there’s an egg on the side with the dating hub so, whether that’s there for funny points or lore is unknown, but interesting too.

i also want to say that i don’t think gaster and chara are being pitted against each other in terms of "these are 2 different types of gamers." while that would make sense simplistically, i feel like toby would be much more in depth and nuanced with it, as he usually is with his method of storytelling. because even though chara is kind of god-like, considering their death in undertale and their soul being the same as ours, leading to them being attached to us like some kind of angel (and angels have lots of significance in both undertale and deltarune), they’re still only a character and not at all on the level that gaster is.

i personally think gaster and chara are, on a more hidden level because toby isn’t being very direct at all with these two, meant to represent a different side of the "player vs character" perspective. and that’s something that undertale and deltarune have both tried to convey to us in the no mercy and snowgrave routes, but unfortunately in undertale’s case it was widely misinterpreted in both ways. i think it’s a bit more sensible to go about it this way, because gaster is not us, as in we don’t control him like we can other characters, and the symbolism of what he’s meant to represent is there.

ok, one last question: how did chara access wherever gaster’s in?

that part is still very foggy. i can’t come up with a definite reasoning, but for now i’ll take a wild guess and say that maybe chara grew tired of being a ghost with no real autonomy. maybe they decided they wanted to break free for theirself, and by doing this their essence became detached from frisk’s body (and by extension our control), thus causing them to be shattered similarly to gaster or winding up in the void gaster has. however that happened.

there’s a lot of uncanny resemblance between chara and kris, though, especially if this is the case. chara breaks free and winds up in the void with gaster, and kris realizes that breaking free for theirself may not be all that they think it’s meant to be. given spamton neo and all. aside from the fact that chara and kris look similar, have the same family (though in different universes of course), and strangely both have a sweet tooth, this is especially odd to me.

i can’t quite put it into words, but it feels like, to me at least, chara is very much present in the world of deltarune. and they share similarities with kris that are hard to ignore.

so that’s it, then.

for the most part... yes. a lot of the theories i’ve linked here and there explain things i agree with, so you can read them as you see fit. i especially recommend nochocolate’s posts on chara if you’re interested, such as the ambiguity of freedom in undertale (and, though this was never mentioned in their post, by extension now deltarune).

but. there is one character that seems to be involved in some (or a lot) of this. and that’s papyrus. the only problem is, i can’t figure out what’s going on.

at first glance papyrus is just a very charming guy. but you know, he’s actually a lot more mysterious than sans. he shares similarities to chara and flowey/asriel, and holds weird possible connections to gaster. he’s also the only major character from undertale (aside from asriel) who hasn’t made a physical appearance in deltarune. while checking sans and papyrus’ house will have you met with narration describing “a distant trousle of bones”, it’s worth noting that in chapter 2 it’s described as getting farther and farther away. so... why? is this world’s papyrus just shy, or is there a deeper reason?

again, i can’t tell what’s going on with papyrus, if there even is anything at all. but there’s a lot of weird and mysterious little oddities involving him that i don’t think are unintentional or accidental.

anyways... there. hoo boy. that’s my theory. or theories. i don’t really know. like i said, i’m not a theorist, i don’t know everything and i don’t expect any of this to be true. it’s just what makes sense to me. and it’s important that if you believe this, you also recognize that toby is the creator and he does what he thinks is best when it comes to the story of deltarune and the possible connections it has to undertale (even though toby’s said that the two have no connections, it’s not uncommon for him to be untruthful about things).

if you read all of this... thanks! let me know your thoughts!

[maladelusio]

Hi it's me again, I have a few more questions in regard to fantasy!verse. 1) Due to Artiste!Mettaton being self aware in the loops like Stage, did he change up his strategies/actions towards Poppet!Frisk depending on their actions that loop? 2) When and how did the twins get separated from each other in the past? 3) How does Blackout determine when an AU should be destroyed and does he sometimes gets into arguments/fights with Fantasy over their fate?

hey again!

1. Artiste doesnt get crystal clear memories from other loops, more of like... a cliffs notes of what happened (from his pov).

So regarding like, FIGHTs, he'd probably stay relatively similar since theres not that much time in a loop to rehaul his whole style. He might have a Special Attack, perhaps..?

But yes, he definitely also changes up his actions and I bet he does different broadcasts (canon Mettaton comes up with cooking, newscasting, theatre and just fight/dancing without much prep so I think artiste can work with the loop time) ... at the same time, he's also been in flowey's loops too so he probably feels a little bit stuck in a rut- but Poppet would be a new inspiration, in a way! (the feelings they inspire are. bad. initially)

2. The twins' backstory is a little wibbly wobbly but so far @candy-cryptid and I were thinking that they'd eventually stop in a Dancetale (2 dads acquired!), then accidentally portal to a Swapfell (2 more dads acquired!), and then from there Blackout would try to figure out how to portal and then get himself stuck in the Anti-Void.

His goop might start glitching a bit then (but it only really goes weird once he starts living in there full time), but he wouldn’t actually be stuck for long enough to become an Error or anything. However, he wouldn't be able to get out by himself- its his eventual realization of the resonation of his half-apple soul with his brother's that shows him the way out, like following a string of fate...

Fantasy + Blackout don't actually get separated from each other for long (except by choice once they're adults). That's one big difference between them and their canon counterparts- they run, but they do it together.

3. Destruction criteria... Well, just negativity isn't enough. There's obvious things like viruses/extreme corruption/hacking damage or worlds just totally falling apart, as well as worlds that never got finished (even if Fantasy tries, he can't be everywhere, and if the Creator leaves then he can't make them come back) and are slowly corroding.

He generally scans over worlds based on emotional tone but if anything catches his interest he'll observe the world for a while without interfering - he figured out how to set up viewing screens in the Anti Void.

He probably has a grudge against a lot of bitty aus because they're extremely dystopian under the surface, like snuff films.

Blackout's also not a fan of endless time loops with a lot of negativity- he'll generally try to remove the loop source first, but might just scoop the inhabitants out and dump them with Core Frisk somewhere and destroy the world instead.

He has a bit of a weak spot for someone pleading for anyone to help them when they know no help will ever come.

Negativity always exists, but a world that drives despair is disgusting to him.

When they were younger, Blackout and Fantasy used to argue a lot and SERIOUSLY about destroying AUs. But after one particularly terrible AU where Fantasy wouldn't back down, Blackout just left him there in disgust... Fantasy got very badly hurt before Blackout felt it. Blackout destroyed the world (there were probably a handful of monsters on Fantasy's side, but Blackout wouldn't have cared about that) and took Fantasy back to the Anti Void to heal. They've had a lot of conversations about why and what and how destruction can work and how Fantasy can't destroy himself trying to help when people don't want to be helped.

Now, they generally travel separately and they understand what each other are doing and trust they'll make good decisions. Blackout doesn't actually interfere/destroy worlds nearly as much as Fantasy does, and if he's ever uncertain he can always call for his brother and they can debate.

But if they both DO find the same AU and both STRONGLY feel they're right to try and save/destroy it, you know what might work? Let's fight for it. The extra time spent fighting might tip the world over one way or another/reveal more information that might change their minds. Also, since the twins are pretty equally matched, the winner is probably the one who is boosted by the AU in question- if it's more positive, Fantasy wins and has a better argument for his ability to fix things, and vice versa.

Even if one wins over the other, they'll still help their brother with things like destroying hackers/time travel misusers (Blackout) or deglitching/filling gaps/helping evacuate (Fantasy)