#but it could have been hilarious

[sinvulkt]

🤣🤣🤣

Vomit rainbows.

I think that would have made me go crazy wanting to spread black all over it and increase the psychological violence by three levels XD

That could have been funny though.

This should have been the theme song for Nautilus.

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[nanaonmars]

jason: why won’t you leave my dad alone?!

clark: because we’ve been together for 20 years jason… we have 8 kids, you included, and… we’re in love

duke, in the background: boke!

jason: i’ll find dirt on you yet. i’ve got people working on it.

clark: 🧍🏻

[anony-mouse-writer]

stuff hermits have been excited about the mail system for

- spam

- sending each other tnt (doesnt work because shulker boxes dont light tnt)

- reaching impulse about his equine extended warranty

- licking hermits faces

- spam

- stealing other hermit’s mail

- committing mail fraud

- spam

[bree-paints]

My copium where they all survive and they are an iconic one eyed trio

Also some random sketches because 266-267 have been killing me emotionally thank you

[sualne]

something i wish i'd see more in trigun fanarts is people having vash speak their native/non-english languages completely unprompted, ive seen folks have him speak french, which he canonically knows, but i really do believe he's a polyglot. mostly because of that one time in the desert when he saw the samurai and wanted to greet him in japanese but struggled to remember how to even say hello.

my headcanon is that rem had them learn as many languages as possible but with the big fall and so many people dying, which i think is what led english to became No man's land main (or even only?) language, means that vash (and knives!) both got horribly out of practice and are various sort of rusty in every others languages.

what im saying if there's any pun or joke you've been dying to write but just doesn't work in english vash (and knives!!) are right there!

[daisiesandviscaria]

no thoughts just kevin being such a little nerd that he went out of his way and convinced riko to be a history major with him

[wistfulwatcher]

unit chiefs + asking their teammate to take over to protect the unit

[ilynpilled]

jaime turning women down constantly more bc he is very monogamous and in love with someone else right now for the first time and is also kinda scared of actually having sex with someone other than cersei is sm better to me than “i respect the kg vows of chastity so intensely rn actually because i changed into a good and serious person” or whatever lol

[hcbgoblin]

1970s-1990s critics of paul mccartney are so funny in retrospect its like.

paul mccartney is too musically diverse and its a bad thing, actually . why is paul mccartney so relentlessly inventive . there goes paul mccartney again, trying something new and fresh and not settling into the same sound! how uncool. musical creativity is inauthentic, actually. why are his melodies good? what is he, a POP singer ?? isn't it suspicious that he is just So Pretty. his eyelashes are too long, clear signs of a vapid manipulator. also here are some dick words. INFERTILE. IMPOTENT haha. ha. amirite. so not rock.... pls get back together w john.....

[glassedplanets]

a few months ago giffy was like "haha hear me out, what if tattoo au" and then we blacked out and talked about nothing else for like three weeks

[markscherz]

Bird-reptiles is a butterfly-moth situation?

Precisely! These kinds of situations show us how wrong we have been for so long about the relationships among various animals. The pretty little boxes we like to make are often very, very wrong, phylogenetically, i.e., they are not compatible with the *actual* relationships among the organisms.

Here are a few other mind-fucks that have come to light as a result of modern methods being applied to traditional categories that turned out to be wrong:

• Snakes are lizards

• Termites are cockroaches

• Birds belong to lizard-hipped dinosaurs (Saurischia), not the bird-hipped ones (Ornithischia)

• All tetrapods are fish

• Insects are crustaceans

[hunny-k]

Guys when I first took my hedgehog to the vet for his checkup the place was asking for his birthday. And I don't know his exact date of birth and couldn't ask the people I got him from because they'd just retired, so I checked the day I got him and went back how many weeks old I knew he was and picked a random date that week. So that was a long while ago and I just got an email from the vet saying happy birthday to my boy. I did not realize I had set it for today. It is also Sonic the Hedgehog's birthday today.

Anyway I completely coincidentally declared that my hedgehog was born on Sonic's birthday

[crimeronan]

STORYTIME TO UNBURDEN MY DEMONS. I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS SO IT'S TIME FOR THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ONLINE TO HEAR IT:

when i was 14 years old and in eighth grade, i got cast in the importance of being earnest as cecily, a main character who is 18. this was a mainstage show, so the rest of the cast were adults. it was an insanely huge honor and i was extremely proud of making the cut!! there was just one problem-

cecily shares a single very boring kiss with her love interest.

and my scene partner was 24.

PREEMPTIVELY, i Promise this is not going anywhere horrifying. my mom supervised all of the rehearsals and i was honestly excited to kiss an older man because i have problems. my scene partner had excellent boundaries and was very respectful. none of this was traumatic; if the environment had been toxic, i would've dropped out.

HOWEVER. my scene partner was VISCERALLY uncomfortable with kissing a 14-year-old. as pretty much any chill 24-year-old man would be.

so. i got it into my head that he'd be less uncomfortable if he was kissing a high schooler than a middle schooler. (this distinction seems very prominent when you're in eighth grade and much less prominent when you are 24.)

so when the other cast members asked me what grade i was in. i told them i was a freshman in high school.

.....and one of the other cast had worked at my district's high school before.

so i had to, um. continually make up information about my classes and classmates and teachers.

for months.

.......and i got away with it.

...............until.

the cast party.

at which point my mom casually mentioned that i'd been cast as a lead in my middle school's show for that year.

and so the former teacher was like, "oh, you're dropping down from high school to do it??"

and my mom, so blankly, unaware that she was about to Ruin My Entire Shit Forever, was like, ".....no??? kitkat's in middle school??"

and he went, ".......oh!"

DEAD FUCKING SILENCE.

FROM EVERYONE.

DEAD SILENCE REIGNED.

NO ONE SAID A WORD.

IF ANY OF YOU THINK YOU'VE EVER BEEN EMBARRASSED-

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc text message crack :)

✨just because ✨

Bat Chat

danny: bruce

danny: bruce

danny: bruce

danny: dad

danny: dad

danny: father man

danny: daaaaaaad

danny: batman

bruce: what

danny:… do you have this set up just to notify you when someone says batman and nothing else.

jason: don’t be so quiet, answer the question old man.

bruce: what did you need

danny: oh yeah

danny: just about forgot about it

danny: so

danny: i may or may not have

danny: possibly/maybe

danny: ate a chunk of kryptonite on a dare

jason: …what????

dick: danny no

dick: we have better impulse control than this

danny: we absolutely do not and you know it

danny: but also say hi guys, kon is here

dick: why do you still need our help if the supers are there?

danny: kryptonite

jason: oh yeah, almost forgot about that part

tim: what did i just wake up to

jason: go back to sleep replacement

danny: scroll up

danny: i can say with full confidence that this has never happened before

danny: usually when i eat solid objects i can just phase them back out.

danny: like the time i swallowed a fork back at casper high when my parents raided the school looking for my ghost half.

tim: excuse me what the fuck

danny: i know right, they couldn’t have waited five minutes until i stopped eating

dick: why can’t you just phase the kryptonite out

danny: i would, but it’s wedged in there pretty good

danny: it just goes intangible with me :/

tim: i have decided i am going back to sleep

tim: it is too early in the afternoon for me to deal with this

jason: good

danny: well, b-man’s here to save me now so i’ll tell you all about it in a few hours

jason: are we going to bring up the fact that danny called bruce dad like 3 times?

dick: he did what