#but im pretty proud of this i came up with quite a cool idea that i dont think i was able to fully portray but i like it

[your-favorite-roommate]

Captain’s log

my first attempt at a @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt

words: 934

Captain's log: 08133254

All chores have been completed for the day, and the kitchen has finally been cleaned out. System maintenance has been performed for the day: nothing to report. Inventory has been taken; it looks like I'll have to put in an order next week for some new Particle Blaster ammunition. Aside from that, there is no news to report.

I passed near a large and beautiful galaxy earlier today, one I had never heard about before in my classes. The ship's scanners were reading far larger a mass than seemed possible, especially since it remained undetectable by the scanners until we were almost on top of it. I've recorded these findings and will eagerly await the day I can bring these forward to the Committee.

Today marks day 17 since Crestfall, which was the last time I saw my crew. I do hope they're alright, and that they can forgive me.

Signing off.



Captain's log: 08273254

Today was another uneventful day. All chores have been done, and I have scrubbed the floor of the control room to spotless perfection; this was unnecessary, of course, but it helped me feel like I had something worth doing for a while. Inventory has been taken, and I am still awaiting the shipment of ammunition. Another order has been put in for Donjin berries, but I know that those are in limited supply right now. No other news to report.

My ship passed a young Humpback Starcatcher today; I did not see a mother Humpback Starcatcher anywhere near. I worry about this creature; while I've never had the opportunity to study them in their natural habitat, I've never seen a mother without its young, nor a young alone without its mother. I fear it won't be able to make it, and will be doomed to die in the vacuum of space cold and alone.

Today marks day 31 since Crestfall. I can feel the loneliness start to set in. I try to keep myself busy so it doesn't eat away at me quite so mercilessly.

Signing off.



Captain's log: 09212354

Inventory has been taken, and I've all but given up hope of ever getting another shipment of Donjin berries. Thankfully, the Particle Blasters have enough ammunition should I ever need them, as well as the Shield Drops. The ship has never looked cleaner; I wish my crew could see it.

Today marks 55 days since Crestfall. Did I make the right choice?

Signing off.



Captain's log: 10082354

Today marks 72 days since Crestfall. Everyday the guilt grows until I swear I can barely bear it alone. The pain I feel is inhuman; it threatens to swallow me if I give it even a moment to fester in my mind.

I've taken to practicing my Particle Blaster proficiency as of late. I gave up trying to beat the computer on board at any of its hundreds of commands it gives at any given time; it made me think too much of Salvatore. I have only been practicing with the Blaster with the safety on, as I'm not sure I'll ever be getting new ammunition for them; I can't afford to waste it on trivial efforts. Some part of me wonders if ever a time will come that I'll need to use one again.

Jensen would be so disappointed if he could see how sloppy I've gotten, how out of practice I've let myself become.

Signing off.



Captain's log: 11162354

Today marks day 110 since Crestfall. And what a beautiful Crestfall it was this year.

Everyone flocked to the streets, marveling at the beautiful lights and atmosphere that always seemed to settle over the district, infecting everyone around with a light spirit and good will. My crew had, of course, wanted to stop by for the few days the festival would be going on.

We had a new crew member on board who had never seen Crestfall as well; Jensen had taken it upon himself to show her everything there was to see.

This year they had seemed to have outdone themselves; the banners were bigger and brighter than ever before. The lights were near blinding in their brilliance, rivaling even the brightest stars. Every street vendor had a new deal, a fantastical product, each more exotic than the last.

Who knew it was to be their final goodbye? At least it was beautiful.

Each day is more painful than the last. I hope I may understand the Queen's final words someday.

Signing off.



Captain's log: 12242354

"Go and be our salvation." That's the message the queen gave to me before I left, a message I'm afraid I still cannot fully decipher. So swept up in the rush of Crestfall, as well as the hustle and bustle as I was rushed onto the awaiting ship, I had failed to mention my crew to the guards. Maybe that was for the best; who knew what would happen to them if they were to be singled out. No, surely it was the better choice to trust the queen and follow her instructions. She would know to take care of the crew in my absence, or at the very least let them know of the important mission I've been chosen for.

I can only hope they do not hold too much resentment for me. I hope they know I didn't want to leave them; rather, it was the queen's decree that forced me to.

Today marks 148 days since Crestfall. My thoughts go out to my crew; I hope you can hear me and know that I love you.

Signing off.

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[2jaeh]

THREE DAYS  I  LEE TAEYONG

When your over controlling boyfriend invites you and his best friend to a three day resort did he not see trouble approaching? especially when said best friend has been trying to get in bed with you since the moment he met you.

Genre: mature theme, slight smut

warnings: cheating, suggestive masterbation, slight public scenes, cursing. 

words: 3k

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“Are you sure it's okay for me to tag along ?” Taeyong spoke into the phone as he threw a dress shirt into his already overflowing suitcase. “Okay cool, well I`ll see you guys at the resort then.” Taeyong sighed as he cut the call and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He wondered if he was too overdressed, or not dressed enough. He bit down on his lip and looked at the caller ID, his best friend Inseong holding on to the person Taeyong desired most, Inseong`s girlfriend. 

He had no idea when this “crush” began, if you could call it that at this point. Inseong and Taeyong had been casual university friends for a while but it was after graduation, when they both got hired by the same corporate office did they really establish a close friendship. 

Taeyong and Inseong did most things together, whether it be catching up at music events or a sunday afternoon golf trip. But if he were being honest, the real reason he loved hanging out with Inseong was because he knew he’d bring her around, the girl who had stolen his heart without having the slightest clue. 

DAY 1 : FRI

“Taeyong is afraid he is going to third wheel” Inseong chuckled as he concentrated on the open road in front of him, casually looking over at you scoffing down a bag of jelly tots. 

“Youre working though” you stuck your tongue out at him, “Im gonna be just as alone as he is.”

“I guess you are” Inseong let out a sigh, “I don't understand why the dude cant get a date though he’s pretty good looking right?”

“Uhm yeah he's attractive.” Attractive was an understatement. You will never forget the day Inseong introduced you to Taeyong, It was around the time you two just started dating about two years ago, and you had never seen someone that good looking up close before. It wasn't the fact that you didn’t find your boyfriend attractive, you loved Inseong and he was a good looking guy but Taeyong, he was different. 

Taeyong barely spoke to you but he was always polite and had a warm aura unlike the rest of Inseongs friends. He was the one you got along with most and because of that Inseong had a habit of inviting him on many of your trips, much like the one you're venturing on now. 

You stuffed the empty snack packets into a trash bag as Inseong pulled into a very fancy resort one you weren't quite familiar with. Inseong was actually on a work trip that involved meeting with potential clients and partners, this did not include Taeyongs sector but their boss allowed him to bring you two along as a treat. Inseong’s firm absolutely adored him, which made sense because he was practically married to his job. 

“I'm going to get the room keys” Inseong placed a peck on your cheek and you watched him jog off to the front desk while you meandered around the foyer of the hotel. 

“y/n” you heard a chirpy voice call from behind you. Turning you were met with those bold black orbs and that ever so charming smile.

“Taeyong” you grinned back pulling him into a tight hug that drowned you in his rich scented perfume. 

Taeyong wasn't sure if you noticed his fingers linger on the small of your back. He would always leave you small signs but you’d never notice. His bright eyes dulled for a second when your attention turned back to Inseong who returned with the room keys. 

“Oh you're here great! y/n and I are staying in the room next to yours, do you mind taking her up ?” Inseong said, handing Taeyong both sets of keys. 

“What? You’re not coming up to see the room ?” you asked, a little hurt that he was already ditching you on this trip. 

“Sorry honey they want to do a meet and greet and tour of the resort, i'll be up as soon as it's over” Inseong gently stroked your head and you watched him walk off with one of the resort employees.

“I guess it's just you and me then” Taeyong smiled although regretting his words when he saw the fake smile grace your face and made your way over to the elevators. Taeyong was all too familiar with this scene. Inseong being busy, he excludes you from the rest of his corporate friends and eventually calls on him to babysit you. He wondered if you resented him solely because of Inseong’s habits. He tried his best to always make you feel comfortable even if it put him in the most uncomfortable position both mentally...and physically. 

“Well I'm going to take a nap so I'll see you around I guess” you pressed your lips together and took the room key from him. 

“Are you not gonna eat anything ? We could go down for Lun-”

“I'm good Taeyong, I'll see you later okay ?” Taeyong watched as you disappeared into the room and it felt like he had been punched in his stomach. 

DAY 2 : SAT

Taeyong lay in bed utterly exhausted after barely getting a wink of sleep courtesy of the screaming match that happened last night. Although muffled, Taeyong already knew it was about Inseong coming back at around 3am. ‘What meeting would go on until that time especially on the first day’ Taeyong thought as he rubbed his bare chest and stared up at the ceiling. Inseong loved his job and he loved socializing with people who shared that interest. To him coming home at that time absolutely plastered was normal, because it was part of his work lifestyle. 

Taeyong groaned and turned onto his stomach, burying his head into the pillow as he heard your sobs replaying in his head from the fight. He was tired of sitting around not doing anything when he knew for a fact he could treat you way better. At moments like this he didn't give two shits about Inseong, especially after he got the new promotion and made a new friend group of pretentious assholes. Taeyong wanted to be with you by your own choice, he wanted to hang out with you without Inseongs name attached to the reason you two were together. 

Just as he was lost in his thoughts Taeyong’s ears perked at the sound of Inseong leaving the room and the sound of the shower running. 

“No fuck not now please not now” Taeyong groaned as he felt shudder overcome his body and his underwear became slightly restricted. His mind raced with thoughts of you. It all came to him so quickly he barely noticed that his hand was already down his sweatpants as he buried his face further into his pillow. He wished he was with you. The things he would do to you were unspeakable. He wouldn't give a shit if Inseong walked through those doors finding him on top of girlfriend, he didn't care. 

You finished drying yourself off and put on a cute yellow sundress that hugged your curves, showing off the two piece bikini that Inseong told you not to wear around the resort especially when he wasn't with you. This was payback for the way he treated you last night. Not only did he ditch you in a foreign room for an entire evening, he also returned drunk out of his mind and blamed you as usual for not taking care of him. You wanted to at least enjoy whatever you could from this trip and if it meant looking hot and hanging out with Taeyong, then so be it. 

You made your way next door and rang the doorbell patiently waiting for your assigned babysitter. Taeyong swung open the door, dressed in only in a pair of black harem pants and a towel on his neck that he used to dry his hair. You took in the site of his bare chest, drinking in his pretty figure that matched his gorgeous face. 

“I'm sorry I was gonna go down for breakfast I was wondering….i’ll just wait outside”  you stuttered and you heard Taeyong giggle

“Come inside y/n.” 

You walked inside his room and it was surprisingly neat in comparison to yours. You felt kinda embarrassed at the state of your room even though most of it were Inseongs doing anyway. 

Taeyong continued drying his hair as he watched you scan his room, his eyes already on your figure in that goddamn sundress. His only thoughts were ripping it off until he noticed you were staring right back at him. 

“Your hair is sticking up a bit at the back, here let me help you” 

Taeyong watched as you approached his figure and reached up to neaten his hair. He really admired his will power to keep his hands off your body as you inched closer and closer to him. 

“Thanks” he smiled sweetly masking his dark intent and threw on a loose hawaiian shirt gesturing towards the door, “shall we?”

The two of you had a decent day lounging around the pool area and took a stroll on the beach before heading back for lunch. You never expected to bump into Inseong and his colleagues during lunch and the way Inseong looked at your outfit, you knew you’d never hear the end of it. He practically ignored you the entire time while he and his friends chatted away, even going as far as introducing Taeyong to a few of them but not you. 

Just before you and Taeyong made your way to the elevators to retreat back to the rooms, Inseong jogged over and tugged on your wrist. 

“I know we had it out last night but was all of this really necessary ?” Inseong gritted his teeth as he looked over your skimpy outfit. 

“I thought it was cute, not everything I do is to ruin your perfect life Inseong” you rolled your eyes and pressed the button to signal the elevator. 

Inseong let out an exasperated sigh and released your wrist before massaging his temple. 

“Just dont pull this kinda shit at the dinner tomorrow please, the chairman is going to be there.”

You and Taeyong watched as Inseong stomped away and Taeyong noticed that for once instead of beating yourself up about Inseongs reaction you seemed somewhat proud to piss him off to that extent. 

“I'm sorry you're always in the middle of all of this Taeyong” you apologized as the two of you stepped onto your floor and made your way to the rooms. 

“It's okay y/n it's not your fault, and besides I think you look ridiculously hot in that dress” he replied and licked his lips as you felt your face heat up with his bold words. “Also,” he continued as he scanned his room key

“I think you should own it, wear something sexy tomorrow, not for Inseong but for yourself and maybe a little for me.” 

DAY 3 : SUN

You looked at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the classy black velvety dress you had saved for a night out. The dress was intended for a Valentines date with Inseong but that never happened because he had a more important meeting to attend. 

As you made final touches to your outfit you wondered if subconsciously you did also dress up for Taeyong. God the way he looked at you when he told you to wear something sexy, you hadn't felt flustered yet intrigued like that in a long time. 

You put on the final touches to your make up and made your way down to the banquet room. You already felt a bit awkward as you noticed a few people stare at you and whisper until you saw Taeyong. You barely noticed Inseong sit directly in front of him, all you could see was Taeyongs dark eyes taking every bit of you in. 

Inseong’s eyes though we're different. He looked annoyed but still got up to help you into your seat which was weirdly next to Taeyong instead of him. But then it dawned on you when you noticed that the name card next to him was the chairman. 

Typical. That was all he cared about in the end. 

Taeyong’s eyes were still on you as you took your seat, unbothered if Inseong even noticed at this point, he was in awe. Did you dress up because he told you to ? Did you dress up for yourself and maybe, just maybe for him ?

“You look gorgeous y/n” he whispered, his deep voice sent a shiver down your spine. You brushed your hair behind your ear and nodded a thank you, trying to keep your focus elsewhere. Although Taeyong was conversing with the people at the table something made you feel as if you still had his full attention. 

You almost jumped when you felt his cold fingers trace circles on your knee, his focus was still in his conversation but yours was solely on his movements. Taeyong lightly squeezed your thigh to test the waters, a smirk he indefinitely couldn't hide graced his face and he allowed his hand to move higher. 

You gulped as he began to move, completely entranced by his touch as you felt him trace more circles on your upper thigh until his hand settled in your lap. Taeyong moved his chair closer to you and the table in order to obstruct the view of a passerby or any suspicious eyes at the table. 

“You work with Inseong right?” a man said to Taeyong as he laced his fingers with yours under the table.

All of it was so incredibly promiscuous but it gave you an adrenaline rush and Taeyong knew you were completely on board when you squeezed his hand back and bit down on your lip. 

Taeyong grabbed your hand and placed it in his own lap, allowing you to feel exactly what you were doing to him at this moment. You sucked in a breath as you palmed him and he gave your thigh another squeeze, this time much harder, rougher than before. 

Eventually into the night you decided to excuse yourself and Inseong preferred it anyway. You couldn't believe how oblivious he was to the closeness of you and Taeyong that it only angered you even more of how he would really choose these fake people over his girlfriend for the night. 

As you made your way to the elevator you didn't even realise Taeyong had already followed you there, putting on his usual laid back demeanor. The two of you stepped into the elevator and it was silent. You wondered why he was so quiet especially after pulling that stunt during dinner. Completely confused you grabbed your room key but before you could scan it Taeyong blocked your path, scanning his room key and pulled you inside his room not giving you any time to process this. 

He was all over you, his lips his hands his body, you felt almost every part of him as he pressed you against the wall. He used his knee to separate your legs as he planted open mouthed kisses on your neck, practically growling into your ear when he heard a moan escape your lips. 

“I-I didn't do anything in case someone from dinner saw us” he explained as he found the hook of your dress but stopped to look in your eyes, “are you okay with this?” 

You answered him by practically ripping open his white dress shirt and ran your hands down his body. Taeyong smirked and moved you to the bed, ridding himself of his shoes and trousers before attacking your neck once more. 

“I'm sorry if this all moves too fast I literally can't help myself” he growled once more as you got undressed and the sight of you in your scantily clad underwear made him lightheaded. 

“Well its best we hurry the fuck up before that asshole comes back” you sighed as you pulled him on top of you. 

“Fuck I dont want to hear about him, youre mine right now” Taeyong groaned and skillfully unclipped your bra and rid you of your lace panties. You bit down on your lip as you watched him pull down his boxers and free his member, licking your lips unconsciously. 

“Don't worry baby you can suck it next time” he teased and without warning pushed himself into you with one brisk movement. The room filled with both of your moans as Taeyong’s hips slammed into yours, while one hand laced his fingers with yours while the other was wrapped around your throat. 

“Oh my God Taeyong” you cried completely in ecstasy thanks to the way Taeyong handled you. He was animalistic yet not hurting you in any way. His eyes burned holes into yours as he moved his hips faster and faster until you came undone and he followed straight after. 

Taeyong quickly cleaned you up and kissed you softly, his touches were much lighter as he held your face in his hands moving his lips gracefully against yours. 

“I'm going to end things with him Taeyong I can't take it anymore” you rested your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. 

“I know baby just do whats best for you, and just know I actually do like you like really fucking like you” he replied and he felt you smile. 

“You fell for me in three days ?” you giggled against his chest. 

“No baby i've liked you since the day I met you, these three days were for you to finally come to your senses.”

[bonesandthebees]

Maybe a little silly but I hope the other anons could also share their favourite sentence they've read so far that's written by Bones? One that stuck with you from any fic she's written so far?

For me it has to be the line "Bright green eyes that were fixed on the stars, not seeing any of them" from The World Forgetting By The World Forgot. It's maybe not the most complex or so sentence, but the poetic feeling in the moment as I read that scene, my god, shivers. How pretty it was all said, to confirm what just happened with such a statement? Gorgeous. Mwah, chef's kiss.

I could legitimately keep going about World Forgetting as it's one of the best fics I've read so far, the way it handles trauma, family issues, trust, self identity, so many deepgoing emotions.. amazing. Clinic walked so Forgetting could run, in my eyes. Both are fantastic pieces of literature, but if you haven't read World Forgetting yet, you should!

Anyways I'll get out of your inbox now Bones, though maybe you could share your favourite sentence or expression/paragraph/bit you've written so far and why?

See you around! Will be getting to Nocturnal Animals this weekend :)

-🚀

lkdsjf rocket... you are too sweet shut up. but thank you i was so proud of that line about the eyes and the stars, really thought it just hammered home that despite how fucked up he was, dream was still human. tommy had killed a person, even if he was a terrible one, and that scene was a tragedy no matter how you looked at it

your commentary on world forgetting seriously gave me so much happiness, im so glad you enjoyed it so much. there are definitely pieces of it i feel i could've done better with, but overall i'm very proud of the story i was able to tell <3

hmm that's so hard bc i've written quite a bit so it's hard to think of a line/expression i've come up with off the top of my head, but i have a few in mind that i really liked

I really loved this line from the stars and their children because every time i read it, I can hear the whoosh of a knife sliding across a sharpener. I just thought it was a really creative way to describe a smile sharpening and was proud of myself for it

ngl I have no idea how I came up with "sadness and confusion taking center stage in the lines of Wilbur's forehead and the downturned corners of Tommy's lips" but every time I remember that I'm like goddamn I really wrote that? such a cool way to describe expressions, also very proud of myself for that

in under the brine i was so proud of the entire use of the dirt metaphor for wilbur lying, but i think this line is really the best part of it—when the metaphor is first introduced. dirt is a running metaphor mentioned through all of under the brine, and this was one of my first forays into using a continuous metaphor throughout an entire piece. really loved the vibe it gave off and how it connected with the overarching narrative, but this part especially i'm very proud of

and last one but rotting fruit is probably one of my best written pieces ever, which is funny to me since i wrote it entirely on a whim one day when i was procrastinating studying for a final. I just had such specific vibes in mind when I wrote it, and using rotting fruit as a metaphor for codependency was something I had a lot of fun playing around with. this part highlights my favorite parts of the metaphor, especially with the last line asking if this was what love was. the entirety of rotting fruit has such specific vibes and atmosphere that i'm extremely proud of, but again i have no clue where it came from i just went off one afternoon lmao

[7fckingidiots]

Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;

HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!

The Brothers With A Trans MC

Lucifer

He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.

He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.

Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner

God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much

Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM

He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar

You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)

Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)

Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)

Mammon

You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it

King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.

Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.

If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights

You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.

KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it

Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.

Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too

You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)

Levi

He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!

Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours

Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions

Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT

Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive

Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL

Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)

If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.

You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)

God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)

Satan

Enby Satan. That’s all :)

He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers

He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)

Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you

He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan

Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT

Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.

Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)

Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.

!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0

Asmo

Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO

Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......

Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!

VOICE LESSONS

He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school

Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now

Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE

Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo

He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable

ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!

He loves you so much!!!!

Beel

another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!

he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)

he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help

stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you

he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you

he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????

will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel

makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead

hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D

Belphie

you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all

are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name 

if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly

he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith

calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie

will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys 

like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......

introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”

he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes

he loves you, so, so much :)

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

[smoochkooks]

— lost stars, part 1 (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: smut, angst, (troubled) idol au, childhood friends to lovers

⟶ word count: 20k

⟶ summary: in dead hours of the night he stumbles upon the bars, reaching, searching, trying to feel something, for once forget about consequences and taste the bittersweet freedom. between sips of addiction and faint touches of nameless lovers he finds you again: his own long-lost star on a blackboard sky.

⟶ warnings for part one: explicit sexual content, dom!jungkook, rough sex, oral (m receiving), fingering, dirty talk, degradation, light breath play, unprotected sex, infidelity, mentions of mental health issues, smoking, drinking etc., this is sad im sorry

⟶ music: lost stars, young god, the hills and more here. 

PART TWO (FINALE): HERE!

Jungkook can’t sleep.

Moonlight is gradually slipping through the unveiled curtains that he hasn’t even bothered shutting out for the night, letting the silvery luminescences gleam over the expanses of his room callously. It's the first full moon of the month, an argent king on the cloudless sky preventing many people that particular night from falling asleep.

Jungkook lays on his bed, long body slumped on unmade, messy sheets. Brightness illuminates over his features, making his skin glow in porcelain white. Every edge of him is chiseled. From his thin lips, through the slope of his nose and paleness of his forehead, Jungkook might be a beautiful imitation of a marble sculpture. Although he isn't, heaviness of his limbs and suffocating pressure weighting down on his chest like tons of rocks make him feel like one.

Digital clock on his bedside table reads midnight, four red zeros signaling change of the date. It's so painfully silent in the confines of his room, yet Jungkook doesn't sleep. And it's not because of some scientificly proven theory connecting insomnia to the full moon. He hasn't shifted on his bed since he laid there an hour or so ago. He stares blankly at the ceiling, inhaling the chilly air of March flowing inside through the open window. There is without a doubt too cold to lie uncovered like that, with bare legs and thin t-shirt thrown on, but he doesn't seem to care, not when shivers run down his arms, not when the sudden puff of wind blows the strands of raven hair off from his forehead. He stays like that, hands folded on his stomach, eyes glued to the silver lights on the ceiling, and time ticks.

Jungkook doesn't remember when was the last time he has gotten some good amount of sleep in the night. Perhaps it was a year or two ago, when after particularly hectics days it took him only a few seconds to fall into the peaceful slumber as soon as his cheek met the cool material of his pillow. A lot of has changed since that; it's bitterly oblivious he has changed too. His insomniac tendencies are only a small part of the whole spectrum.  

Jungkook doesn't wish the sleep to come and cure him. He has stopped a long time ago, when he realised it's just pointless. There are times when it gets better, when he doesn't need to nap uncontrollably during the day instead of doing that while it's dark out. Tonight seems like one of those dead end situations. Maybe after a few hours his eyes will tire out enough to flutter shut on their own accord and bring him the awaited couple of hours of mindless numbness, and the sun will raise again, as it always does.

However, that night, like many of them before, Jungkook doesn't wait helplessly.

A sigh and a minute later, he kicks off the sheets and stands up from his bed, walking to the nearby closet. He puts on the first pair of black jeans he manages to find and replaces his worn out t-shirt he wears to sleep with a new, fresh one. He flicks the lights on for a brief moment to examine himself briefly in the mirror. He needs haircut, loose strands are falling on his forehead and he swamps them off, running his fingers through the black locks. He looks even more tired in the artificial lighting of his room, definitely not like the marble sculpture, certainly not like the spot-on idol this country loves and admires. The skincare products his stylists have given him to put on his face everyday are doing a quite good job, but not good enough to fully hide the bangs underneath his eyes. This kind of magic only stage makeup can provide.  

Now, Jungkook looks painfully ordinary. He isn't Jeon Jungkook of BTS, he doesn't want to be during nights like this one. That's why he fishes out of the drawer his black mask and puts it in the pockets of his denim jacket. There is probably too cold outside to go out dressed like that, but Jungkook doesn't falter.

He doesn't falter opening the door to his room and stepping into the dark hallway of the dorm. He doesn't falter putting on his shoes as silently as he can. He doesn't falter reaching for the knob to the main door and twisting it. Even if he has promised he won't do that again, that the last time when he came home at ungodly hour, smelling of sleazy bars and cheap alcohol, with faint reminiscences of the touches of nameless lovers on his skin, was truly last.  

Even if the pang of guilt is still there, at the back of his head, when he exhales the air of the night, it fades away.

If someone ever asked Jeon Jungkook to describe freedom, he would say it smells like Bongcheon Underground Station.  

He’s never been there before or at least he doesn’t remember doing it. The sign indicates it’s the line number two, a green one to be more exact. He doesn’t know in which part of the city he is, maybe half an hour away from the luxurious housing estate he lives in with the rest of the boys, maybe further. At some point during the train ride he's lost the track of time.  

It’s probably irresponsible, careless, unwise and stupid to be a widely-known figure using public transportation in the middle of the night completely alone, but this run-down underground station in Jungkook's head is his own manifesto of mock freedom, consequences to be damned.

Jungkook knows he's risking a lot right now. The sick thirl is already there, boiling the blood in his veins. This is all he has; the mirage of liberty, his own revolt against the unfairness of the world. His testament of lost youth.

Before someone will see him standing on the platform and staring ahead of himself with blank eyes like a mad man, he decides to walk out of the station.  

A young couple around his age passes him on the stairs and he can’t help but spare a glance in their direction. They aren’t aware of his presence, holding onto each other and giggling drunkily. Something squeezes in Jungkook’s chest at the sight. It’s not any kind of jealousy, no. He’s grown up from being a rebel teenager. He’s grown up from the dreams of college parties, going on dates with pretty girls and having late-night snacks with his friends after gaming sessions.

Now Jungkook is just angry. Someone may say he doesn’t have the right to, he has everything an ordinary twenty-two year-old can desire. Yet, Jungkook is the one calling the world unfair while being on top of it.

There is a poster with his face hanging just above the entrance to the station. He stops in his tracks, scoffing cynically. Poster-Jungkook, spot-on idol from the biggest boyband in the country smiles at him, showing a row of blindingly white teeth. He has a face cream in his right hand, the softness of his photoshopped face and boyish glint in the eyes trick thousands of people into buying whatever he recommends.

What would Poster-Jungkook say seeing him now, Jungkook wonders. Barefaced, with mask covering half of his features, ruffled hair that he should have hidden underneath a cap. Poster-Jungkook probably wouldn’t like to make friends with someone like him. Poster-Jungkook is here to sing his heart out, to entertain fans and make his parents proud. Poster-Jungkook has never been at Bongcheon Underground Station.  

With one last glance, Jungkook exits the station, stepping into the streets of Seoul.

The clock on his lockscreen reads 1am, Saturday, March 21th. He reaches to his face, pulling the mask down a little to inhale the chilly air. The smell of nearby Chinese restaurant reminds him it’s definitely a terrible idea to drink on an empty stomach but he shrugs off this thought, walking ahead of himself, with no plan in mind.

It’s not everyday he uses underground to travel around the city like most citizens do. Ironically, this mundane thing is a luxury he normally can’t afford. But nighttime has it’s own rules.

Using his car isn’t a debatable option when he knows he's going to distract himself with numerous sips of alcohol later. He cannot use taxi as well. Not when he hates having small talks with middle-aged men while being half-wasted, half-asleep on the backseat, head buzzing, world spinning. In worst case scenarios, the said taxi driver might be a dad of one of his fans.  

(Yes, it happened before. It caused a lot for Jungkook's intoxicated brain to make up some silly story and convince the poor man he was coming home from his friend's birthday party, not running away from his one night stand's place.)

Asking one of their personal drivers to lift him up somewhere won’t do any good too because one: it definitely isn’t an emergency situation, although Jungkook would most likely argue it kind of is and two: going out in the night is too risky and most importantly, strictly forbidden for him since the last time Jimin found him unconscious on their doormat.  

He wants to laugh at himself, remembering the very first time he tried to sneak out of the dorm without permission.

He was merely eighteen back then and his friend from Busan came to Seoul to celebrate his acceptance into the university. Of course, teenage Jungkook had asked for approval like the well-raised young man he was. That’s impossible, Jungkook, was the answer and I really hadn’t seen that friend for a long time, please, wasn’t enough to change minds and melt hearts. And that was when eighteen-year-old Jungkook decided it was the final straw. He had enough of watching snapshots from his friends, living their teen years to the fullest. He wanted to live too.

He had planned everything in details. Namjoon and Yoongi were at the studio, Hoseok was visiting his family in Gwangju, Seokjin went to sleep early, Jimin and Taehyung were playing video games in their room. All occurrences seemed to be on his side. Until they weren’t.

He announced to everyone he wasn’t feeling well and locked himself inside his room. He waited for the right moment, then opened the door and peeked his head out. It was dead quiet, beside muffled bursts of laughter coming from the other end of the hallway where Taehyung and Jimin were still playing. Holding his breath, Jungkook tiptoed to the entrance.

It felt so electrifying back then, when he took the handle into his hand and pushed, doing something that he wasn’t supposed to. When he found himself taking the cab to his hyung’s place, fingers drumming the unknown rhythm of excitement on his jean-clad thighs.  

It doesn’t feel like that anymore. There’s a rush of adrenaline but not the good kind. What was once a silly rebellion of a boy with romantic soul, is now nothing but a routine.

That night didn’t turn out as he wished. It ended with him getting wasted to the point he had to call Seokjin to pick him up. He still remembers the furious scolding the older one gave him. He remembers how he promised it was a one-time thing, how he regretted his childish actions and irresponsibility.

But it happened again and again. And it got only worse over the years.  

Jungkook keeps marching ahead of himself, looking around the unfamiliar neighborhood. It's a more industrial part of the city; it doesn’t look like leafy, peaceful area he lives in. He can only imagine how the flats inside those buildings look like - cramped, cluttered. Maybe they look just like their old dorm when he was merely sixteen, with head full of dreams, sleeping every night on a bunk bed underneath Taehyung.

Upon seeing a fluorescent, red neon sign, he stops in his tracks. The club looks nice from the outside and even though it stopped being an indicator for Jungkook some time ago, he decides to step inside with the same goal in mind as usual: get drunk and then leave.

Loud, thumping music fills his ears as soon as he enters the building. He passes the mass of nameless silhouettes, heading straight to the bar and slumping down on one of the stools.  

“What can I get you?”  

Jungkook looks up, meeting the eyes of friendly-looking bartender who seems not to recognize him or just doesn’t give a fuck. Both options are more than anticipated when you’re a well-know celebrity who decided to get drunk on a Friday night.

“Doesn’t matter. Just give me something strong.”  

Bartender nods in understanding and Jungkook sees him reaching for the bottle of whiskey and pouring the substance into a glass already filled with ice cubs.  

I don’t even like whiskey, Jungkook realizes. But at the same time he knows he hasn’t come here to sample. He’s here to let loose, to taste the bittersweet freedom this umber alcohol provides and represents. Each sip burns his throat stronger, yet it’s always welcomed.

After the third glass, his head starts buzzing. The world spins a little when he closes his eyes; everything becomes a blurr of colors, shapes and sounds. It’s should be a sign to slow down but Jungkook automatically raises his hand to bartender, ordering another glass.  

He hasn’t even registered he’s not alone by the bar anymore.  

She’s pretty. Maybe not exactly his type, whether he has one or not, but he can’t help but spare a glance anyway. Even in his drunken state he notices she’s a foreigner; blonde locks are cascading down her back and shoulders, milky skin glowing in the fluorescent lights. He doesn’t see her face clearly yet, but he observes in the corner of his eye as she bites her plump, cherry-coloured lips, while staring down at her empty glass.  

Then, his eyes wander lower, to the smooth column of her throat, her provident collarbones and rich  décolltage. Her black dress doesn’t do quite good job covering her cleavage and Jungkook has to swallow at the sight.  

He’s fucked, buzzed and that irritating, tiny voice at the back of his head is telling him to get his shit together but every rational thought is wiped off his mind when the girl whirls around and faces him fully now. She smiles at him, or his blurry eyes are deceiving him already. Nevertheless, he smiles back at her dumbly, doing his best to maintain the enigmatic façade.

“Hi.” he says.

It’s not the first time he’s hitting on a foreign woman. It’s very much asshole of him, but he thinks it’s easier to get laid that way. In most cases he’s not the one to start a conversation, yet this time, here he is.  

“Hi, stranger.” she answers and licks her lips languidly. The raw eroticism dripping from it makes Jungkook shift on his seat. If she wants to play this game, he’s ready to make another move.  

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asks. It’s so goddamn blunt and brusque, but always works. Something about his flat English and the way he subtly smirks saying it makes women intrigued.  

She contemplates for a moment, batting her eyelashes at him until she eventually agrees. “Yes, sure.”  

He waves at the bartender, slurring his words a little. He hears the girl giggle and somehow, his next words leave his lips without a second thought.

“You like Korea?”  

She’s very talkative when she’s drinking, Jungkook notices. The question seemed to elicit something in her and she started babbling, spitting her words so fast he couldn’t catch up even if he wasn’t drunk (and knew English better). All this time he smiles at her, nodding his head and occasionally muttering “yeah” and “oh” whenever he feels like it’s the right moment.  

At some point his eyes wander to the other part of the club, where the sign shows the way to the bathroom. The girl takes a sip of her drink, showing a row of her perfectly white teeth when she catches him staring at her. And at this moment, Jungkook decides is time to interfere.

He leans closer to her, his hand ever so slightly brushing the place where the material of her dress meets her thigh. She bites her lip, waiting for his another move. Jungkook is now mere inches from her face, lust swimming in his orbs when he whispers, “You’re so beautiful.”  

She says something to him but he doesn’t register it. His hand is now fully placed on her thigh and when he opens his mouth to ask if she would like to dance with him, he feels a pair of strong hands placed firmly on his shoulders, pulling him away from her.  

“What the fuck, man? What are you doing with my girlfriend?” He hears a male voice saying behind him in English.  

Jungkook blinks, trying to comprehend what have just happened. His head spins from the sudden motion and he feels like throwing up any second. He lifts his head, meeting the terrified expression of the girl he talked to just seconds ago.  

“Are you deaf or something? I’m talking to you.”  

Someone pushes him forcefully again and that’s when he turns around with reluctance, standing face to face with very much pissed off white guy. He’s taller than him and the deep furrow of his brows tells Jungkook he’s in for a trouble.  

“James, it’s okay. We were just talking.”  

“Well, it didn’t look like that!”  

“Just let him be. He’s drunk.”

Jungkook feels like his soul has left his body and now he’s staring at the whole scene from the side. The muffled voices reach his ears but he cannot fathom anything. He pinches the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes.  

Another shove at his shoulder coerces him to regain his senses a little.  

“I’m not letting that fucker go that easily until he apologies. Hey, shithead!”  

Jungkook feels hands grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket. And then, when he thinks this is it – Jeon Jungkook of BTS is going to get hammered in some sleazy club by a foreigner because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, because he’s useless peace of shit instead of the It Boy of his country, everything stops.

He knows this voice. Maybe his drunken brain is deceiving him, maybe he’s hallucinating or dreaming because he’s already lying bruised on the floor and unconscious. But he hears you and feels you, touching his arm and saying, “It’s alright, sir, he’s here with me. He doesn’t feel well. I apologize for his behavior.”  

Your grip is stronger than he remembers to be. It hurts like you’re mad at him. But is it really you, dragging him across the room, away from those people through the crowd of sweaty bodies? He squints his eyes, focusing them on your silhouette, but what he sees is merely a blurry sideprofile of a young woman.

“I can’t believe the first thing I do after not seeing you for three years straight is saving your ass.”  

There’s a wave of fresh air hitting his face. He inhales it greedily, hands extending to stabilize himself until he feels the rough texture underneath fingertips. He leans his head on the wall, eyes squeezed shut. Seconds pass, maybe even minutes, until something nudges him on the side.  

“Do you feel better now?”  

To be completely frank, Jungkook is scared to open his eyes. His sanity is slowly coming back to him and he hears you now loud and clearly. Maybe he’s really dreaming but if that’s true, why does he feel like he has a full control on his next move?  

It’s really you. Three years older than he last saw you, arms crossed over your chest and evident frown on your face. He doesn’t know why but he wants to smooth the crease between your brows. It doesn’t suit you. Your hair is shorter, your features sharper and more mature.  

You’re definitely not dream-__. His dream-___ would have scratches on her knees and some fantasy book in her hands. She sometimes visits him at dead hours of the night, asking why he hasn’t answered her calls and messages. Sometimes she stares at him from the photograph he carries in his wallet because he cannot bring himself to get rid of it.

He probably should hug you, run into your arms and thank for saving his reputation. He should hug you because it’s been three goddamn years and you were his best friend once. One of the most important people in his life, his partner in crime (and professional math tutor in primary school). God, you were his first, silly crush when you were merely ten, hair braided and pimples on your cheeks. His shoulder to lean on when he needed to cry. The girl who played football with him because there was no boys in your neighborhood with whom he could do it.

Instead, he asks, “Did you cut your hair?”

The first thing you do is raise your eyebrows, as if you’re genuinely confused he’s able to form full, coherent sentences. Next, you scoff. “Seriously? We meet for the first time in three years in a club where I work because I need to save your ass since you’re completely pissed and tried hooking up with taken woman, and that’s the only thing you have to say?”  

He doesn’t like how you sound already. Your tone matches your expression, stern and slightly irritated. But at the same time, he’s not surprised you’re acting like this.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…” he hesitates. He’s just what? Pathetic? Stupid? Reckless? Or maybe–

“Crazy?”  

He smiles sheepishly. “Yeah. That’s a good word.”

You take a step closer, standing right in front of him. “So are you going to tell me what are you doing in this part of the city, getting drunk while being a freaking idol?”  

“Isn’t it what all celebrities do?” he asks sardonically.

You roll your eyes at that, and he takes a moment to look at you more carefully now. Your cheeks are rosy from the cold and he notices a smudge of mascara underneath your left eye. And there’s another thing he remembers about you; the weird habit of staring at him intensely whenever he wasn’t aware because you were terrible at keeping eye contact.  

But it seems like a lot of has changed in that department and now you’re meeting his eyes without a hint of shyness.  

“Yeah, maybe they do. But not when they have a reputation to take care of.” you counter.  

Jungkook sighs, closing his eyes for a second. It’s still hard for him to produce logical thoughts but he knows he’s slowly sobering, the chilly air clearing his mind. You hug your coat tighter against your body and he wonders for a moment if it’s really that cold outside and he just doesn’t feel it because of the alcohol swimming in his veins.  

He’s not capable of having this kind of conversation with you under those circumstances. While you’re outside of some niche club in a part of the city he doesn’t know, reunited after three years of silence.  

You have that look on your face, the one you used to wear every time he got on your nerves and he was in for good scolding. His head pounds too much to bare with it now.  

He needs to smoke a cigarette.

He fishes a pack, placing one between his lips. He feels your eyes on him the entire time and after taking the first drag, he offers you to light up one as well.

“I quit.” you say curtly.  

“Okay.” The smoke swirls around his features and you take a step back, cringing. You never really could stand the smell.

“Is smoking even allowed for you?”  

He snickers, shaking his head. It’s funny, how you’re asking him this now, when you were the one he used to smoke occasionally with at the docks every time he visisted Busan. Eighteen, listening to Arctic Monkeys and Coldplay on his old iPhone and watching the sky burning when sun was hiding behind the horizon.

Jungkook smirks. “Out of sight, out of mind.”  

As a matter of fact, he doesn’t smoke often. It’s more like a sporadic trespass when he’s out for the night than a regular craving. Leaving aside his favor for cigarettes, he shouldn’t let himself become addicted, not when it might easily influence his lungs capacity. And Jeon Jungkook's velvet voice can’t have a hoarseness to it.

“So, you work here?” he opts to ask you, avoiding the set of questions probably already itching to leave your mouth all at once.

“I do. I actually ended my shift few minutes ago. I had some work to do at the storage room and when I walked out, I saw that guy ready to beat the shit out of you,” you say, grimacing. “To be honest, I didn’t recognize you at first. You looked… different.”  

“I guess that’s what they call the magic of stage make-up.” he jokes but his comment doesn’t make you laugh. If anything, you look even more puzzled.  

Then, his phone buzzes in the pocket of his jacket. He pulls it out just to be met with tens of notifications, mainly texts and unanswered calls from Jimin. He must have found out somehow he’s been gone.

“Fuck.” Jungkook mutters under his breath, locking his phone.  

“Something’s wrong?” You always could read him like an open book. He wasn’t very talkative kid back then and you, somehow, found a way to communicate with him on non-verbal level.  

Jungkook scratches the back of his head, smiling lopsidededly. “You’re going to laugh at me,” he sighs.

“No, I’m not.” you promise. There’s sincerity in your voice but he knows better. You’re definitely going to.  

“I’m scared to come home.” Jungkook says, entirely serious. His doe eyes widen for emphasis and you’re sure he’s shitting you yet you decide to play along.  

“And why is that?”  

He leans closer, smelling of cigarettes and his musky cologne and you almost wince. “Because I’m gonna have my ass whipped.”  

He waits a moment, and then breaks into a grin. It’s his drunkiness still speaking through him and maybe a tiny bit of curiosity how you were going to react.

You snort loudly. “That was terrible.”  

“You smiled. I saw the cornes of your mouth moving.”  

“You’re wasted, Jungkook. I’m surprised you’re standing on your own feet right now,” He pouts and you sigh, shaking your head. “So are you going to tell me what is it really about?” you ask.

He shrugs, blowing out the fume from his cigarette. “I just don’t wanna go home drunk. It will be worse than coming back in the morning, believe me. I’ve been there before.”  

Something flashes across your face hearing his last sentence but it quickly disappears, replaced by your usual, unreadable expression. You seem to think about what he has said, until you exhale loudly, making him look at you with raised eyebrows.

“Fine. You can crash at mine.”  

Jungkook knows he might have misheard you. But you’re still staring at him as if you’re waiting for him to respond. He feels dumbfounded.

“What?”  

“I saved your ass today once, I can do it again. That’s what friends are for, right?”  

He hates how bitter it sounds coming from you. He knows it’s very much what he deserves. You don’t own him anything after all he’s done to you yet here you are. Offering him help even though you don’t have to do anything.

You’ve always been too good for him.

You cock your head at him, a small smile dancing on your features he wishes was genuine. Maybe you still have a sentiment for him, after all. “You coming?” It’s what you ask, and he tosses the half-burnt cigarette, following you without a word.

And that’s how your story starts again, with reckless decision, cigarettes and underground stations.

Ironically, Jungkook ends up at the Bongcheon Underground Station for the second time that night.  

You led him wordlessly out of the building, taking a turn into direction he was familiar with. On the whole ride back to your home, you were silent. You didn’t utter a sentence to him, even when you reached your stop, you just stood up from the seat and he followed you like a lost puppy.  

Walking from the station to your flat, Jungkook decided he’s had enough of this awkward silence, breaking it first.

“So, how have you been?”  

It’s such a stupid question to ask someone you haven’t talked to for such a long period of time. Of course you can’t catch up all that have happened in last three years during ten minutes-long walk. Jungkook bites his lip, peeking at your side profile.

“It’s actually funny you’re asking this now. I’ve been good, and you? Or actually… wait! You don’t have to answer that because I know you’ve been good too, thanks to your mum who is updating mine about everything what’s going on in your life,” you say sarkily. “Oh, not to mention I also have Internet and it’s really hard to avoid news about nation’s favourite boy group, right?”  

Your harsh words make him grimace. He knows he fucked up royally and your bitter attitude towards him is the effect of his wrong doings. Yet, he can’t help but feel a little bit irritated.

“You know I’m sorry.” he mutters under his breath.  

“Oh, are you? Was it really that hard to call an old friend once in a month?”  

Jungkook looks up at the sky, as if he was wishing it could give him strenght and fill his mouth with words that will make your stony façade break just a little. “I was busy,” he answers, regretting it as soon as it slipped of his tongue.  

He hears you scowl. “Busy? Doing what? Drinking and hooking up with women?”  

Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “Are you really patronizing me right now? We just came across each other and I’m trying to be civil here. We’re not thirteen anymore, loose up.”  

You stop in your tracks abruptly. “I see. You don’t need my help anymore and you’re okay with sleeping under the bridge, fine.” you spit and turn your back on him, quickening your pace.

“What? Wait!” Jungkook calls after you because one: you might be not joking and two: he’s too startled to react in time and now he has to jog up to you. “You aren’t serious, right?” he asks after catching up with your hurried movements.  

You sigh, taking another turn. “God, I can’t believe you’re still that childish.”  

Jungkook frowns. “What does that suppose to mean?”  

“You know damn right what I mean.”  

You’re now walking through a typical, industrial looking neighborhood. He used to live with other boys in an area like this, back when their name meant nothing to the world and industry, when you used to talk practically every single day on the phone.  

Suddenly, you stop in front of one of the buildings, digging in your purse and pulling out the keys.  

Jungkook silently follows your figure when you enter the tenement house you’re living in. He squints his eyes, trying to remember the street name and building number. For some reason he feels like this information might be useful for him sometime in the future.

You quickly climb up the stairs until you reach the forth floor, Jungkook running out of breath with mouth hang open, and that’s when you turn around to face him.  

You don’t say anything to him. You just stare, expression stern yet unreadable at the same time. Your gaze is challenging but eventually you give up, sighing and opening the door to your flat, letting him in.  

The first thing he notices is that your flat is tiny.  

There’s barely enough space for one person in the hallway when you hang up your coat without a word, bumping into his unmoving figure when you’re trying to walk into what is probably the smallest kitchen he has ever seen.  

You pour yourself a glass of water, chugging it greedily while he still stands dumbly three meters away from you, fully dressed, unsure of what to do.

He jumps, hearing you put the glass on the counter loudly. “So, welcome in my humble abode, I guess,” you say. “Are you going to stand there the whole night?” You cock your head into his direction and Jungkook shakes his head, shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes.  

“I know it’s small but the rent is cheap,” you add, referencing to the size of your apartment. You don’t need to explain, he wants to tell you but he doesn’t. Instead, his eyes wander to the other part of the flat where your bedroom is, as he assumes.

“Ah, yes, that’s my bedroom. And living room, and bureau,” you confirm, voice laced with apparent sarcasm. “Make yourself comfortable.”  

Jungkook hesitantly enters the room. There’s nothing much there beside your bed, wardrobe and a small desk with your laptop and other belongings on. One thing he realises is that you keep everything clean and tidy, despite the limited space you have here.  

“But the view is nice, isn’t it?” you ask suddenly, startling him a little. Jungkook, encouraged by you, glances out of the window and he has to admit that yes, indeed, the view is beautiful. You can see the city quite clearly from the forth floor. “I’m still surprised when I look out of the window and see rooftops instead of brick walls. I guess I’m kind of lucky.” you chuckle.  

That’s when he realises just how much more you deserve than you have. It hits him how privileged he is now, living in a luxurious area for rich snobs and celebrities who look out of their windows and see green hills. And one more time, his anger for the unfairness of this world only boils stronger in his veins.

“I gotta go the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”  

You leave him alone again, and now he has an opportunity to look at the corkboard you have above your desk. There is plenty of photos and polaroids pinned to it and he finds himself examining them without a second thought.

It seems like you have them organized chronologically. They start with you as a little kid standing in front of your house in Busan, front teeth missing and clutching your favourite doll. Next, you’re in school and surprisingly, he finds himself present on most of these photos along with you. Playing football at the backyard, eating ice cream at your favourite parlor (he has smudges of chocolate on his chin but he smiles to the camera like it means nothing). He recognizes a photo he took of you when you where in middle school, dressed as Anne Boleyn for some history project he doesn’t remember what was exactly about.

As years pass on your polaroid timeline, his face is slowly disappearing from your captured memories. He smiles when he sees his favourite photo of you, the one he also carries snuggled deeply in his wallet. It was taken by your mum on your seventeenth birthday. You went on a picnic by the sea and Jungkook surprised you with an unexpected visit, coming home back from Seoul. He gifted you a bracelet bought with the first money he had earned in his life.  

He wonders now if you still have that bracelet somewhere, hidden among many other things reminding you of your past together, just like the creased photo in his wallet he still hasn’t thrown away.  

Then, Jungkook eyes land on the most recent picture. You’re grinning to the camera while being hugged from the back by a man he doesn’t know. He presses his lips to your cheek in a fleeting kiss. An affectionate one.  

“I see you’re enjoying yourself.”  

Jungkook jolts a little hearing your voice. You come up to him and he notices you have changed your clothes for something looking much more comfier. “Remember this one?” you ask, pointing at the photo of you sitting on a beach next to the sand castle you built.  

Jungkook smiles apologetically. “Yeah.”  

“Ten seconds after taking this photo, you decided to ruin my sand castle and made my cry.”

He can’t help but share your grin when your eyes lock. There’s the same sympathy in them he’s grown to known. It feels familiar, almost domestic. He likes it.  

“So,” He nudges your side, pointing with his chin at the corkboard, “care to tell me who is this guy?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and you roll your eyes in response at his antics.

“That’s my boyfriend Minho.” you answer.

Jungkook doesn’t know why but for some reason, he feels uneasy now. He’s mad at himself he’s been really missing out what’s going on in your life. He shakes off these thoughts quickly though, mastering an amusing attitude.

“That was a very poor introduction, ma’am. Come on, you can do better than this. Tell me more about him.” he teases, making you sigh loudly.

“Minho is five years older than me. He’s working as a police officer. We’ve been together for almost a year. Are you happy now?” you grumble.

Jungkook smirks. “Very much.”  

“He doesn’t sleep over here so I don’t have any of his clothes you can change into,” you add awkwardly.  

He furrows his eyebrows. What are you talking about now?  

You shift on your feet, turning to face him properly and now he realises why did you say it. The clothes you have on are actually your pyjamas. Right, it’s almost two. You’re probably sleepy after your night shift and he’s keeping you up. And you’re kindly reminding him it’s time for him to rest as well.

“It’s okay, I can sleep naked.” Jungkook says. Your eyes widen almost comically at that. “Relax, love. I’ll stay with my boxers on. Unless you want to see my without them.” He raises a single brow in question.

You grimace. “Jesus, Jungkook, you’re still drunk. Go take a shower. You can use the blue toothbrush and white towel.” You slump down on your bed  and he leaves the room without another word.

Jungkook has been in many bathrooms in his life but yours can only be describe as microscopic.

He feels almost claustrophobic when he’s standing underneath your shower. The water is splashing on everything and he panicks for a moment if you will be angry at him for the mess but then he realises it’s practically impossible to keep everything around dry when he’s showering without any curtain or glass door around him.

He uses your shampoo and body wash, cleaning himself as fast as possible. They smell nice, flowery and exotic and somehow like you. Quick shower definitely has drained him from most alcohol he has in his system. He can now think through the situation he’s in with clear mind.  

After drying himself up and putting on his boxers, he stands in front your sink. He wipes off the moist on the small mirror, just to be met with his blank, tired eyes staring back at him. He really should use some good sleep. He uses the blue toothbrush just like you told him to and in the middle of the second round of brushing, he chuckles to himself at the surrealism of this whole situation.

He’s met you for the first time in three years after not speaking to you at all. You don’t own him anything and here he is, already having enormous, unpayable debt because you saved his life from the embarrassment and possible scandal.  

You were always like this, ready to put on your superhero cape and save him. Just like years ago when you stood up from your seat in math class and told the teacher you didn’t feel well right before she was about to check his homework, or rather the lack of it which was going to result in another low grade on his account. You, scaring off his fifth grade bullies. You, paring up with him for every school project and doing most of the work selflessly and without a word of complaint because you’ve always liked working alone.  

Jungkook spits the rest of the toothpaste and water mixed together to the sink and splashes his face. He really doesn’t know why he deserves you.  

The question is simple. He doesn’t. Not after being a total prick to you. But in some strange way, you took him back again, like nothing ever happened.  

When he exits the bathroom, he sees you kneeling on the floor and putting a bunch of pillows on the carpet that lies next to your bed.  

Jungkook frowns. “What are you doing?”  

You look up at him. Your eyes widen visibly when they land on his exposed chest but you quickly compose yourself. “What does it look like? I’m setting up a bed for you.” you reply, patting the pillows, still refusing to meet his stare.

“Am I not going to sleep with you on the bed? We slept together before and it wasn’t a problem then,” he says with furrowed brows.

“Are you kidding? My bed is for one person only! And you’re… you’re–“  

“I’m what?”  

“You’re big! Bigger than you used to be.” you breathe out, standing up from your kneeling position and sitting on the bed instead. There’s a tingle of barely noticeable rednees on the apples of your cheeks and he fights an urge to tickle your sides just to see you trying not to break into laughter so he could get away with your stubbornness.

“Okay, Miss Grumpy,” he grumbles, kneeling on his make-shift bed. Upon hearing that, you freeze on your spot and then he realises what he has just done.  

He called you the old nickname he’s made for you. He hasn’t done that in years.

You bite your lip, acting as if it hasn’t affected you even the slightest. Clearing your throat, you reach for the lamp on your bedside table and switch it off.  

Twenty minutes after that, Jungkook finds himself lying on his back in complete silence and staring at the ceiling. You have a few fluorescent stars attached to it, the ones that shine when it’s dark. You had probably ten dozens of them in your old room in Busan, too. A whole constellation.

Jungkook won’t lie, it is a little uncomfortable to sleep on the floor. He tells himself he’s fine with that, though. It’s what he deserves for being an absolute asshole to you. The sleep will come eventually.  

Another minutes pass and he’s still very much awake. Then, Jungkook thinks ‘fuck it’ and decides to shoot his shot.  

“___?”

You hum sleepily in response after a short while. “Yeah?”  

“I cannot sleep.”  

“Not my fault.”  

He bites his lip. “Can I sleep with you?”  

“Jungkook…”  

“Pretty please?”  

There’s a long pause before you say, “Fine.”  

He hears you shifting on the mattress, making a room for him. The bed creaks under his weight when he places himself right next you, back to your back. He wonders if he isn’t squishing you to the wall right now.  

“Are you okay?” he asks, just to be sure.

Your comforter ruffles when you try to move but there’s no use for it, not when he’s practically pressed flush to you. “Yeah. I’m good. You’re just really hot.”

“Thanks, love. No need to flutter me like that.” Jungkook murmurs, a hint of smug smile on his lips you cannot see.

“I was taking about four freaking body temperature!”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend you didn’t mean it.”  

“Go to sleep, Jungkook.”  

There’s mute between you for a while. Nothing but deep exhales and inhales and occasional sounds of cars or wind coming from outside of your window.  

It’s been really a long time since he’s slept in the same bed with other person. He's not the type to stay over after casual fuck, he’s never done that. But when he lies next to you, he can’t help but longe for someone to just hold him; nothing more, nothing less. He wonders what would you do if he turned around and snuggled into your backside. Would you yell at him? Kick him out?  

But you used to be so close together once. He won’t find out unless he tries.

Carefully, with limited space, he changes his position, mattress protesting under his weight but he rolls to his other side anyway, until he’s facing your back. He feels your body tensing a little when his breath fans over your neck but you don’t say anything, letting him cuddle up to you.  

It feels intimate this way, perhaps even too intimate for both yours and his liking but Jungkook can’t help but relish in your close proximity. When he senses you’ve relaxed a little, he shuts his eyes tightly.  

“___?” he murmurs. It's barely a whisper but you heard him loud and clear.

“Mhm?”  

“I’m sorry for ruining our friendship like that.”  

You’re silent for a moment and he thinks you might have fallen asleep but then, you let out a long sigh that sounds awfully audible in the small space of your bedroom. “You still have time to fix this, Jungkookie.”  

You haven’t called him that in three years. It’s good to hear that again.

He smiles to himself, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You don’t protest. If anything, he feels you breathe out with relief.  

Next morning you wake up feeling like the temperature in your room has risen to fifty degrees. You’re still wrapped tightly in your comforter and facing the wall, which means you haven’t moved even an inch in your sleep. The cause of it being a very much large, male body practically crushing you with its weight.  

You let out a shaky exhale. Jungkook’s front is not only pressed flush to your back but somehow, his muscular leg is thrown over yours, successfully trapping you in.

You wiggle, trying to free yourself from his hold but when you hear his quiet groan, you abruptly stop your movements. And then, you feel it. An apparent hardness poking your backside.  

You can’t help but blush, reminding yourself not to make this situation even more awkward than it already is. It happens sometimes, you tell yourself, it’s completely normal for men to pop a boner when they’re in such close, intimate position with another warm body.

But when you feel Jungkook unconsciously seeking friction and pressing himself even firmer against your bottom, you can’t help but yelp in response, throwing off the material covering your body and elbowing Jungkook's unsuspecting face in process.

“Fuck! What time is it?” he mumbles groggily, narrowing his eyes when they’re met for the first time with the sunlight gradually slipping through your unveiled curtains.  

“Quarter past your dick poking my ass!”  

Jungkook furrows his brows but when his eyes land on his crotch, he smiles sheepishly at you. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “It’s just been a really long time since I slept next to someone like that.” His cheeks are flushed in pink and he rubs the back of his head in a bashful manner.

“What about your one night stands then?” you can’t help but ask.

He shrugs in response. “I never stay over.”  

“Oh.” You don’t even know why you’re strangely surprised. Maybe it comes from the fact that you’ve always pegged Jungkook to be the rather romantic type. People change, they say. Or sometimes your assumptions about someone you thought you know like the back of your hand happen to be wrong.  

You clear your throat. “Anyway, get up. It’s time for breakfast.” you say and disappear from his sight but he still hears you fumbling in the kitchen, popping the kettle on.  

He raises from the bed with reluctance, bending to lift the puddle of his clothes he left on the floor last night.  

“Hey, what do you want to–“ you begin but your voice involuntarily trails off, seeing him in rather exposed state now in broad daylight. “–to drink?” you finish almost breathlessly.

You’ve been aware Jungkook's good looking. He’s started attending gym long before you stopped keeping in touch with each other. You just didn’t know he is that ripped. It’s not a surprise that his fans go nuts every time they see even a small glimpse of his muscles.  

You really shouldn’t be staring but it’s too late when you see a sly smirk on his face. “Like what you see, buttercup?” he asks like the cocky bastard you didn’t know he’s capable of being. “I would like a black coffee, please.” he adds.

There’s a roll of your eyes in response to his teasing tone. “Oh, stop with these nicknames.”  

Jungkook grins. “Why? Hyung used to call you that and you blushed every time.”  

“Because I had the biggest crush on your brother when I was eleven, dumbass.” you scoff, shaking your head. You leave him, heading back to the kitchen to finish preparing food.

“I know you had a crush on him,” Jungkook shouts after you, putting on his pants and t-shirt. “I’m just curious why him, not me.”  

“Seriously? You had emo fringe and pimples back then!”  

He laughs, making his way to the kitchen where you’re standing by the counter and mixing something on the frying pan.  

“Hope you don’t mind eating scrambled eggs,” you say, sparing him a quick glance. “It’s probably the only edible thing in my fridge right now beside instant ramen.”  

Jungkook settles himself on the stool by the small, wooden table situated right by the window. This time, the view is a greish wall of another building. He takes the coffe cup from you and adds a generous spoon of sugar. “I don’t mind. It smells really nice.” he answers, calming your concerns. “So, am I not crushable in your eyes?” He takes a sip of his drink, peeking at you curiously.  

You take out the plates from the cabinet and start putting the food you’ve prepared on them. “What kind of word ‘crushable’ even is? Beside, you have millions of fans gushing over you, I’m unnecessary in this equation.” you say, placing the plate in front of him.

“But you aren’t saying no,” he counters.  

“Jungkook.”  

“I know, I know,” he chuckles. “I’m just teasing you.”  

You look at him then, observing thoroughly for the first time since you saw him last night. He’s indeed handsome, there’s not a hint of doubt about that. His features are more mature, the baby fat on his cheeks gone and replaced with chiseled jawline. But if there’s one thing which stays the same, it’s his eyes. Still gleaming with misheviousness when he laughs and holding starry skies in them when he’s astounded by something.  

“Didn’t know you were such a great cook, ___,” Jungkook’s voice brings you back to the reality. He sends you thumbs up with his mouth full and you can’t help but crack a smile at his goofiness. Old habits die hard, they say. “Aren’t you eating?” he asks, staring at you with wide eyes.

You glance at your untouched eggs and opt for taking a sip of coffee instead. “I’m not that hungry.” you respond. He shrugs his shoulders at that, taking a bite of the toast.  

You nip the inside of your cheek, hesitating, before asking him a question that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue since last night. “What are you going to tell the rest of the guys when you come home?”  

Jungkook's expression immadietly shifts after registering your question. “The truth.” he says like it’s the simplest thing in the world.  

You don’t even try to hide your puzzlement, repeting after him, “The truth?” in bewildered tone.

“They aren’t going to buy that anyway. But believe me, it’s better if I came back in the middle of the night completely wasted.”  

Something’s telling you not to dread that conversation longer so you don’t press him about it any further, instead focusing on changing a topic. “Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day?”  

He nods, swallowing. “We have a dance practice later.”  

You raise your eyebrows. “New comeback?” you smile teasingly and he sends you a wink.

“That’s a secret I’ll never tell.”  

“Oh, come on. You know I can keep my mouth shut,” you pout.  

He rolls his eyes at first but then a small smile appears on his lips. “I know you can. You’ve been covering for me in school all the time.” he murmurs. At that, something warm spreads in your chest. “Come on, buttercup, I’m not spilling anything until you start eating.” he warns, pointing at your untouched food.

When you grin at him and he reciprocates the gesture, it feels like you’ve turned back the time.

“And... five, six, seven, eight!”  

Jungkook doesn’t know how many times he has repeated the same sequence of movements but he feels like passing out anytime soon. He asked Hoseok to help him practice but it looks like his older friend is in rather bad mood today and he seems to lose patience even quicker.  

“...and spin–no! Jungkook, you’re not supposed to do it like that.” Hoseok sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.  

Jungkook grimaces, collapsing on the floor. “Give me a few moments, hyung. I’ll do better, I promise.” he mutters.  

Hoseok crunches down next to him for a moment, patting him on the shoulder reassuringly. “You did good, Kook-ah. We can call it quits for today.” he says.  

Jungkook doesn’t even have strength to answer him verbally. Instead, he shuts his eyes tightly and nods. He hears Hoseok walking away and talking in the distance with Namjoon about something.  

“Are you okay?”  

Jungkook cracks an eye open. It’s Jimin this time. He kneels on the floor, observing him with worried look on his face.

“Yeah. Just need a minute to catch a breath.” Jungkook responds.

Jimin nods but Jungkook knows him well enough to sense that there’s another question at the tip of his friend's tongue. And he’s not wrong.

“Jungkook, you know you should stop doing that.”  

Jungkook sits up, turning his head in Jimin's direction, eyes narrowed into slits. “What, hyung?” he asks, not hiding is irritation. He’s heard it too many times not to feel it already blubbering inside his chest.  

“You know exactly what I mean. Partying, getting drunk, sleeping around like a–“ Jimin stops himself in time, seeing Jungkook's expression.

“Like who?” Jungkook scowls. “Come on, hyung, end the sentence.”  

Jimin shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m just worried about you. We all are.” He puts his hand on Jungkook's shoulder and squeezes.  

“No need to. Besides, you’re the last one to lecture me about smart life choices.” Jungkook spats harshly and gets up, leaving Jimin staring at his disappearing figure with defeated expression.

Back in the confines of his room, Jungkook finds himself lying on his bed again. At some point, his thoughts wander back to you. He had to leave your flat quicker than he wanted because of the scheduled practice (and the hint of guilt he felt for his hyungs).  

He wonders if you can still be friends together, just like the old times. He needs it. Needs you by his side. He didn’t even know he’s been craving it unconsciously. But then he realises he didn’t even ask for your phone number. Maybe you still have the same one?  

He reaches for his phone and unlocks it, searching through his contacts. He has you saved under ‘Miss Grumpy'. It makes him smile involuntarily. His thumbs hover over the screen before he starts typing.

[21:08pm] me:  

hi, it’s me Jungkook. I don’t know if that’s still your number but I decided to give it a try. I wanted to say thank you once again for yesterday. and today’s breakfast. 

Few minutes later, his phone buzzes.

[21:11pm] Miss Grumpy:  

you’re welcome, buttercup  

Seven days later, Jungkook is at Bongcheon Underground Station again. This time, it’s not his recklessness and cynicism that led him here. He climbs up the stairs and walk into the half-asleep streets with purpose in his mind.  

He remembers exactly the path to the club you’re working in. Now he can only hope you have a shift tonight as well. 

You haven’t talked a whole week. He felt too insecure and scared to call or text you. What if you don’t want him to keep in touch? What if your last meeting and sleepover at your flat was just a favor for old times’ sake?  

That’s why he needs to see you in person. He thought about visiting you in your flat but his intoxicated brain betrayed him and he couldn’t recall your address even if he tried and he did, sitting in front of his laptop and wandering through the streets on Google maps.  

When he enters the club he’s met with the familiar buzz of electronic music and the smell of sweat mixed with nicotine. It looks like it’s his lucky day though, because here you are, talking with a client behind the bar.  

Jungkook can’t help but smile to himself. He observes you for a while from afar, watching you listening to someone’s tipsy rambling with a polite, yet forced sympathy. He decides to save you from the uncomfortable situation, marching to the bar and sitting on one of the stools.  

He sighs to himself, remembering the pieces and bits from his memory of the last time he was there, making a total fool of himself. If it wasn’t for you, his foot would never step here ever again.

You excuse yourself and leave the drunk man, just to be met with Jungkook's smiling eyes. Somehow, his brain short circuits and he sends you a wink.

You roll your eyes, approaching him. “What can I get you?” you ask. “Although after last time I suggest a glass of water.”  

He chuckles, pulling his face mask down. “When do you finish?”  

Sparing a glance at the watch you have on your wrist, you answer, “In forty minutes.”  

“A beer it is, then.”  

You hesitate, reaching for the glass. “And you’re just going to sit here the whole time, waiting for me?” you ponder with a surprised expression, just like you’d never thought he could do something like that.  

Jungkook only grins in response.  

For the next half an hour he watches you work; serving drinks to clients, polishing glasses, occasionally giving a love advices to some teary-eyed girls in a short, black dresses. Just when he’s chugging the last sip of his beer, you come up to him.  

“I’m done for tonight. You can wait for me outside.” you say.

When his in front of the bar, he pulls out his cigarettes and lights up one to pass the time. He wouldn’t call himself addicted. He smokes rather sporadically, mostly when he’s out getting wasted or when he’s stressed about something. Or just like now, when circumstances are conducive.  

Few minutes later you appear by his side. He takes one last drag and whirls to face you. “So you really quit, huh?” he asks, making you nod curtly. “And you don’t smoke even when you’re on a party?” He's almost astonished.  

“Nope, even then.” you confirm, hearing him mutter a ‘Wow’ under his breath. “Well? What now?” You cross yours arms over chest, eyebrows lifted in question.

He tosses the cigarette to the ground and tramples it with his foot. “I thought we could go to your flat, eat late night ramen and just talk.”  

“So we're hanging out now?” There’s a slight sarcastic lilt to your voice and he worries for a moment you are going to tell him to fuck off but then, your features soften. “It sounds nice but I know a spot not far away from here when we can sit and talk. If that’s okay with you.” you say.

“Lead the way, then.”

You didn’t lie when you said the place you were taking him wasn’t far away. What you didn’t tell him though, was that getting there meant climbing up the fire escape all the way to the rooftop of a run-down tenement house.  

“Care to explain me how do you know about this place?” Jungkook asks once he’s seated comfortably on an old, emerald sofa next to you. It’s a mystery to him how this peace of furniture was brought here but nevertheless, it was someone's good idea.

You were right. It is nice here. You have a full view to the city from up there and he’s sure it would be easy to see the green hills in daylight or watch how the sky burns during sunsets.

“Minho took me there first,” you explain, answering his question. “His police department is few blocks from here. One day they got a call from some angry, old lady, saying that someone was playing music very loudly nearby. When they arrived, they found out a group of teenagers had organized a party on top of the rooftop.”

Jungkook hums. “He’s quite romantic,” Upon seeing your clueless expression he adds, ‘’Your boyfriend, I mean.”  

“Ah, yeah,” You crack a smile, although he thinks it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “He is. Sometimes.”  

He decides not to press you about it any further.  

He leans his head back, closing his eyes for a brief moment and inhaling the chilly, pre-spring air. Then, he feels you nudging his side. “So, what do you want to talk about?” you ask, staring at him in anticipation. Jungkook lets out a groan in response and runs his hand down his face. You chuckle, “Hey, we didn’t come here to sit in silence. Entertain me a little, would you.”  

He sighs your name. You aren’t prone to giving up easily, he knows it. You’re probably the most stubborn person he’s had a chance to encounter and that is also one of the main reasons he came up with the ‘Miss Grumpy’ nickname when you were in fifth grade.

“I’m pretty sure the golden maknae of BTS has more interesting life than me,” you snicker and he knows it was meant to sound playful coming from you, but he feels something heavy in his chest hearing your remark.  

He musters up a small smile. “You would actually be surprised if I told you that my life isn’t as exciting as it may look.”  

It hasn’t missed your eye how tired Jungkook seems. No matter how much he tries, he can’t possibly hide fully the bangs underneath his eyes or the greish complexion of his skin. It’s weird seeing him in person like this; without stage make-up and plastered smile reserved for the fans. Seeing him so humane.

For the last three years, you only watched him on your phone's screen. But it wasn’t really him. Your Jungkook is sitting right next to you and silently observing the city during the night. Your Jungkook smoked cigarettes with you by the beach in Busan and got you an autograph from one of your favourite artists he had met personally at the backstage after some award ceremony.

Your Jungkook would never got himself drunk to the point of unconsciousness, risking his reputation. But again, you might only think you know him.

“Let’s talk about you instead,” Jungkook says suddenly, pulling you out from your thoughts. “What do you do beside working in that club?”  

You sigh. “You know I don’t like talking about myself either,”  

“I know, but we haven’t seen each other for so long. I need to catch up with you.” 

You fight an urge to scoff, “And whose fault is that?” but you’re not in the mood to argue. Nor is Jungkook, as you suppose. “I’m studying journalism. Bartending is my part-time job. I had to start working because I couldn’t afford to pay for rent just from my poor scholarship. Prices have increased so if I wanted to stay in Seoul, I needed to work, whether I wanted or not.”  

Jungkook knows there’s no words that could somehow lessen your struggles. It’s been a long time since he worried about money. Now, he can have everything he’s ever wanted yet something’s always missing. And he still hasn’t discovered how to fill that void.  

“You’re still writing?” he asks instead, referring to your hobby you’ve picked up when you were kids.  

“Yes, I am. That’s actually what most journalists do, Jungkook. We write.”  

He laughs boyishly, high-pitched and you recall that pleasant sound from the back of your memory. He used to be embarrassed of it when he was younger and often hid his mouth behind his hand to muffle it. You’re glad he doesn’t do that anymore.  

“What’s so funny in that?” You sound slightly irritated, although you’re trying hard to stop yourself from smiling too. It just comes naturally when you’re around him.

He takes a deep breath and then says, “Nothing. I’m just thinking,”  

You raise your eyebrow. “Thinking? About what?”  

“Remember how you’ve always dreamt about becoming a writer when we were teenagers?”  

You nod. That’s still very much your goal. Albeit you’re aware it might as well not come true, sadly. “I do. And what about it?”

Jungkook doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he places his arms behind his head and leans back on the couch with a coy smile. “Maybe you will write my biography one day.” he says after a moment.  

“Only if you pay me shit tons of money for that.”

“Agreed.”  

You find yourself coping his position and slumping on the couch as well. His eyes are closed, and you watch him from the corner of your eye. Despite the dim lighting, he seems glowing in the darkness like a single, silver spot on the noir sky.

“I think I know how would it be called.” you say suddenly.

“Hmm?”  

“Your biography. I came up with the title.” you clarify.

“What is it then?” Jungkook hums with his eyes still closed.

You take a moment to answer, looking up at the blackboard night sky above you. Smiling to yourself, you reply. “I would call it ‘Lost star’.”  

His brows furrow slightly. “Why is that?”  

“That’s my secret for now.”  

“I don’t know. I think this song needs something more.”  

“It’s fine for me, Namjoon-ah. The bridge is great, stop worrying so much. We still have a lot of time before the deadline.”  

“Thanks, hyung. Jungkookie, have you spoke with Hyowon-hyung about your solo?”  

“Kook-ah? We’re talking to you.”  

“Jeon Jungkook!”  

Jungkook looks up from his phone at the sound of Seokjin's harsh voice. He sends his older friend a clueless look. “Hmm?”  

Namjoon sighs. “I asked you a question, Jungkook.”  

Jungkook puts away his phone. “I’m sorry, hyung. I wasn’t listening. Can you repeat it?”  

“Of course you weren’t, you’ve been staring at your phone for the past twenty minutes instead of paying attention to us.” Seokjin scoffs, digging his chopsticks in the kimchi he's eating.  

It’s a little past seven and they are having late dinner at their dorm after a whole day of schedule. Jungkook doesn’t even know what type of commercial they were recording. He just kept reading everything from the monitor behind the camera as he always does, trying to make it seem as unnoticeable as possible.

Truth to be told, Seokjin's right. He hasn’t been paying attention to their conversation, although he definitely should have. Telling them he was texting you this whole time is a pathetic and dumb excuse, he knows that. He doesn’t want them to ask him questions about you. Not yet.

“I asked if you talked to Hyowon-hyung.” Namjoon repeats after a moment.  

A hint of realization crosses Jungkook's face at that. “Yeah, I did. He played me the first draft and told me to work on the lyrics.” he says, reaching for his chopsticks.

Namjoon nods, humming. “Do you want me to help you with that?”  

Jungkook shrugs. “No, you don’t have to. I’m just waiting for the inspiration to kick in.”  

And he hopes it’s going to enlighten him soon. He has a few songs written on his own but creating music for an album it’s different. The standards are higher, expectations bigger. Restricted time always makes him jittery, too.

Taking a mouthful of his bibimpap, a smile flashes across his face. He glances if anyone is looking at him now but his friends are busy talking about something regarding the next release. He reaches for his phone and writes a message to you.  

[7:16pm] me:

do you remember the time when you cooked a bibimpap for my goodbye dinner at home?

Not even a minute later, he receives a response from you.  

[7:16pm] Miss Grumpy:  

yeah I do  

why are you asking me this tho

[7:17pm] me:  

I’m eating it know and it reminded me of that day

sorry but god, it was awful

[7:16pm] Miss Grumpy:  

excuse me????

He remembers probably every second of that day. His mother’s tears, your extremely undercooked meat and his father’s affectionate hug.  

Smiling to himself, he taps another sentences.

[7:18pm] me:  

I couldn’t tell you that. you looked so proud of yourself  

I just ate everything like it was the most delicious course on this planet

best acting of my life  

[7:19pm] Miss Grumpy:

you asshole

i poured my heart into this

you’re right, that was your best acting. definitely better than war of hormone playboy jungkook  

He rolls his eyes. The amount of times you joked about this particular moment of his career is neverending.

[7:19pm] me:  

can you please stop  

[7:20pm] Miss Grumpy:

fuck off. of course I won’t  

how was it?  

ah I know.

I’m a bad boy so I like bad girls

showstopping. truly

He tries to muffle his laughter but there’s no use for that. He snickers under his breath, hoping no one have noticed but he was oh, so wrong. Because as soon as he looks up from the phone screen, all eyes are on him.  

Namjoon clears his throat. “You’re not eight anymore, Jungkook, so I won’t lecture you like a father but please, don’t use your phone while we’re eating.”  

“Who are you texting this passionately anyway? You never put anything before food.” Hoseok adds, frowning.

“My hyung.” Jungkook answers casually.  

In the corner of his eye he sees Taehyung leaning to whisper something in Jimin's ear and they both giggle quietly. Jungkook sends them a glare.

They stop but few seconds later, Taehyung breaks into his signature boxy smile.

“What is this, Taehyung?” Namjoon asks, frowning.

“It looks like our Jungkookie is lying.”  

Jungkook grips the edge of the table tightly. He searches for Jimin's eyes but he looks away quickly, as though almost guilty.  

At the other end of the table, Yoongi puts away his chopsticks and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Care to elaborate on that, Taehyung-ah?”  

“He isn’t texting his brother. I think Jungkookie might be in love,” he sing-songs, giggling to himself.  

Jungkook’s first instinct is to smack his friend's in the head. And so does he. “What the fuck, Tae?” he snaps.

“Language, kid!” Seokjin says automatically.

“I'm twenty-two!”  

“And I’m twenty seven, so shut your mouth and listen to your elders. What is Taehyung speaking about?”  

Jungkook shakes his head. “I have no idea.”  

“Oh, stop bullshitting us. I looked at your phone screen when it was lying on the table. You don’t call your hyung ‘Miss Grumpy'.” Taehyung says, his fingers doing the quotation mark in the air.

“You’re not supposed to look at my phone! It’s called privacy!” Jungkook exclaims, however it’s pointless. Everyone now is focused on him and you.

“Can someone tell who the fuck is ‘Miss Grumpy’?” Seokjin asks, looking around the table.  

Jungkook runs his hand through his hair in a nervous manner. He screwed up, and now they won’t let him breathe for at least five more days. “Her name is actually ___. She’s my childhood friend from Busan.”  

He hears Taehyung chuckling next to him. “Oh, come on. You can tell us you’re sexting her. We won’t judge.”  

“I’m not!”

“Shut the fuck up, all of you!” Yoongi says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can’t we for once eat in peace? Jungkook, please, kindly explain us who this girl you’re texting with is.”  

Jungkook pursues his lips. “I told you. She’s just my old friend. Why would I lie to you?”  

Seeing their uneasy expressions, he realises he said the wrong thing. He has lied to them before about many things. It isn’t anything shocking that they doubt his words now. They have all rights to do it.

Namjoon is the first one to break the uncomfortable silence. “Jungkook, you know the rules. We can't freely date like we would like to. I suggest you should end things with this girl, whatever you're both doing, before it escalates into something more serious. Before you hurt her and yourself in the process.” he says.

Hoseok nods at his friend’s words. “Namjoon is right, Jungkookie. Serious relationships are just going to make everything more complicated.”  

Jungkook grits his teeth. “We aren’t dating.” he spats.

“Sleeping together also isn’t a good idea.”  

“We aren’t having sex,” Jungkook's eyes narrow. “Why didn’t you tell the same thing to Yoongi-hyung when he was seeing that blonde girl? He sneaked her into his room one day and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t just playing her his music.” he scowls, shaking his head.

“Hyung's older than you. Besides, he ended things with her some time ago.” Namjoon counters.

“It’s true, Jungkook-ah. Namjoon is right. No matter what you’re doing with her, you should always be careful.” Yoongi adds.  

Something breaks in Jungkook at that. All of the pent-up frustration seems to leave his body at once. “You know what? Fuck off, all of you. I’m not a kid anymore. I can make my own decisions and they are none of your fucking business.” He stands up from the table abruptly.  

“Jungkook, wait. Let’s talk without fighting now,” Namjoon pleads but he isn’t listening to him anymore.  

Jimin, who was silent this whole time, puts his hand on Jungkook's shoulder. “Jungkookie–” he starts but his immadietly cut off by Jungkook's harsh tone.

“Stop calling me that!” Jungkook snaps and walks away, slamming the door to his room behind himself.

There’s a knock to his door an hour after.  

This pattern feels familiar. He messes something up, they give him some space to think and reflect about it on his own and then, it’s time to sit together and discuss it openly almost like a peace treaty. Jungkook says sorry, promises he will be a better person and everyone moves on.

He doesn’t bother getting up until he hears a voice behind the door speak up. “It's Yoongi-hyung. I’m not here to force you to apologize. I just want to talk.”  

Jungkook's brows furrow. He stares at the door, imagining Yoongi standing behind it with his hands in pockets and eyes glued to the ceiling. He debates whether he should open the door and let him in or keep sulking just a little more until the atmosphere will loosen up on its own.

Somehow, his thoughts wander to you. You would probably tell him that communication is the key to solving problems, or something along the lines. That he can’t shut himself from the world because he feels like no one really gets him. You would also call him childish but he doesn’t dwell on that more.

“Jungkook-ah? Please, open the door. I promise I won’t patronize you.”  

He exhales loudly and gets up from the bed. If there’s one person in this house whose words he can trust wholeheartedly, it’s Yoongi. He twists the handle and walks back to his bed.  

The door clicks shut a few moments later, mattress dipping where Yoongi makes a room for himself next to him, clearing his throat.  “Listen,” he begins but Jungkook cuts him off with a scoff.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t give me patronizing ted talks.”  

“Yeah, I did. But I won’t stare at the wall in silence either,” Yoongi says. Few deep breaths later, he continues. “Jihye was a nothing but a good friend to me with whom I had sex sometimes, no strings attached. Until one day I realised our relationship stopped being solemnly based only on physical attraction. That’s why I decided to end things with her.”  

“Did you fall in love with her?” Jungkook asks.  

Yoongi shakes his head. “No, I didn’t. But I could. And that’s what scared me the most.”  

“Why?”  

In the corner of his eye, Jungkook sees him smiling sadly. “It's simple. Because being together would only lead us to heartbreak. I cared about her too much to make her hurt like that due to my selfishness.” he says. “This is the same reason why Jimin didn’t continue his relationship with our make-up noona even after she left the company. And that’s exactly why you shouldn’t get any hard feelings involved with that friend of yours.”  

Jungkook pursues his lips. He understands Yoongi's concerns but his situation is different. Jimin was in love with that woman. He was ready to buy an apartment for them and move out from the dorm. If someone from the company hadn’t found out about their secret relationship, he would have still been sneaking around with her.

Jungkook though, doesn’t have any feelings for you. He’s gone past his silly crush when you were younger a long time ago. Besides, you have a boyfriend and he doesn’t chase after taken women. At least not intentionally.

“She’s just a friend, hyung.” he says finally but it sounds more like he tries to convince himself, not Yoongi.

Yoongi pats him on the shoulder. “I know. Just be careful, okay?” And with that, he leaves Jungkook's room.

Jungkook knew it was a bad idea as soon as he stepped into the club and loud, thumping music filled his ears.

He knew it when he ordered a round of shots and gulped them down one after another. When he found himself in the middle of the crowd of sweaty bodies, head buzzing and arms around a nameless brunette, his tongue between her lips.

And he knows it right now, when he’s sitting in a booth, her ass placed directly over his crotch where he’s already sporting a hard-on. The girl (Eunbi? Or maybe it’s Eunji? He hasn't registered when she shouted it to his ear because he was too busy staring down at her cleavage) grinds herself with eagerness against him and he lets out a groan, leaning to plant kisses on the side of her neck. And in that exact moment, when his chapped lips meet the porcelain skin of her throat, he locks eyes with you.  

(And he’s once again reminded how stupid it was to go to the club where you work.)

After his conversation with Yoongi he felt like he needed to prove something to himself. That he’s not the one to fall in love impulsively, that he can fuck and not get feelings involved. He could have gotten himself drunk in in any other place yet here he is, a random girl straddling him while he blinks his bloodshot eyes at you.

Your gaze trails down from his face to his palms splayed on brunette’s bottom and you scoff to yourself, averting your attention somewhere else. If he’s disappointed, he hides it pretty well, sucking yet another purplish mark on the girl's neck she accepts with another roll of her hips.

Whimpering into his ear, she moves herself faster against his hardness but he doesn’t pay mind to her anymore, not when he catches you looking at him again in the corner of his eye.  

The girl leans to kiss him and he obliges, tongue darting to lick into her mouth but his eyes remain trained on you the whole time. You see him slipping his fingers underneath her skirt and smirking when he feels the evidence of her lust between her thighs. He wants you to watch him making her come undone on his lap, he craves to relish in the sick thrill of having you witnessing what he’s capable of doing. But when he’s about to pull the girl's lingerie to the side, you’re turning away and disappearing from his sight.  

His fingers stay pressed to the flesh of brunette's thighs, unmoving, until she purrs into into his ear. “Oppa, please. Want you so bad.”

Jungkook tsks to himself, rolling his eyes at her saccharine sweet, high-pitched voice. “Not here.” he mutters.  

Minutes later he’s in the club's bathroom, his head thrown back and grunts escaping his lips. He looks down at the mop of her hair as she swallows around his cock, bringing him closer to the release. She peeks at him from between her eyelashes, teary-eyed and already fucked-out.  

He threads his fingers through her hair and pulls hard, until she moans around him. “That’s it, baby. Gonna fuck your mouth now.” He pushes himself deeper, feeling her choke. She welcomes the pain without complaint, tears flowing down her cheeks and palms pressed obediently on his thighs. Jungkook clenches his jaw, focusing on his pleasure until he groans lowly and comes down her throat.  

He pulls away from her mouth, tugging himself back into his pants. She stands up from her kneeling position on wobbly legs and wraps her arms around his neck. “What about me, oppa?” she giggles, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Won’t you fuck me now?”  

He sighs, staring down at her. There are smudges of mascara underneath her eyes, her cheeks are wet with tears and her lipstick is smeared. He reaches with his thumb to wipe it, and she leans into his touch.  

He feels guilty telling her to be quiet and hiking her skirt up. He feels it when she climaxes around his fingers with a cry of his name on her lips. He feels it too even stronger, cleaning her up and leaving to fix her make-up in front of the blurry mirror, but that’s all he can do. That’s everything he can provide.  

Later that night, when he's finally in his own bed, your face flashes behind his eyelids. He's sick of himself, of his actions, that he let his weaknesses got best of him again.  

Before he could even think of it, he types a message to you.  

[3:45am] me:  

I’m sorry. I was drunk and couldn’t think straight  

Few bits of silence later, his phone buzzes.  

[3:47am] Miss Grumpy:  

I know you were  

Did you at least thank her?  

He scoffs to himself, thinking about proper words to answer you but strangely, he recalls your wide eyes transfixed on him and the way you held his challenging gaze when his lips kissed another woman. He’s never seen you looking at him like that before. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t affect you even the slightest.

[3:48am] me:  

don’t worry. she had a good time  

[3:48am] Miss Grumpy:  

goodnight, jungkook  

[3:49am] me:  

sleep tight, ___.

There’s something apprehensive in the perpetual ticking of the clock when it's silent in the room. It almost feels like the sound keeps getting louder and louder as the time passes by, as if it’s expecting a storm to occur and shatter the calm.

“___?”  

You’re brought back to the reality from your thoughts by Minho's voice. He has a questioning look on his face, watching you with raised eyebrows.

“I’m sorry,” you say sheepishly. “I was lost in my thoughts for a moment.”  

“I could see that,” Minho reaches for his tea cup and takes a sip. “Is everything alright?” he asks, but you shake your head with a smile.

“Just university stuff.” you say vaguely and he doesn’t press you about it any further, nodding in understanding.  

Minho left his work earlier today, coming straight to your flat. It’s Wednesday and Wednesdays are dedicated to spending your time together on dates. Today, you’re going to the cinema and to your favourite sushi bar. For the second time this month.

“I’m going to use the bathroom now and then we can head out, okay?”  

You answer him with a nod. Standing up, you gather your cups and place them into the sink but right when you’re about to wash them, you hear Minho's phone buzz with single notification.  

You bite your lip. You know you shouldn’t look but you push it to the back of your head for now, sparing a quick glance at his lockscreen.

Sooyoung: when you will be free next time?  

You frown. You’ve never heard him taking about any woman from his work with a name like this. The message sounds ambiguous but it doesn’t have to mean anything to worry about at the same time. You just have to ask to be sure. That’s what couples do, right? They communicate.

Taking a deep breath, you wait for Minho until he comes back from the bathroom.  

“Are you ready to–”

“Who’s Sooyoung?” you cut him off before you’ll lose your courage and let the anxious thoughts consume you without asking him first.

He furrows his brows but then his eyes land on the phone lying on the table. He pursues his lips. “You’ve been snooping through my phone?”  

“I didn’t have to snoop. I just looked at the screen when you got a notification.” you say as calmly as possible, trying to hide your nerves. “I just thought it’s a little weird that some other woman is asking you when you will be free next time.”  

Minho's eyes narrow. “What are you insinuating?” he asks.  

“I’m not insinuating anything. Just tell me who she is, it’s simple.”  

He looks uneasy, tongueing the inside of his cheek but nevertheless, he’s still as composed as ever, gauging you with tentative expression. “Sooyoung is my friend from work. She’s a new recruit and we go to the shooting range to practice once a week,” he explains. “And before you will ask: we aren’t there all alone. Kihyun accompanies us. So you don’t have to worry about anything. Can we go now, honey?” 

You lower your eyes to the ground, nodding. When you try to move past him, Minho catches your wrist. “Do you have anything more to add?” His voice is stern and you gulp.  

“I'm sorry.” you almost whisper.  

“It’s okay. Just don’t jump into conclusions next time, okay?” he says, hand still wrapped tightly around your hand.  

“Okay.” you repeat and he releases you.  

A smile appears on his face after that, and he cocks his head at you. “Let's go.”  

You exhale a shaky breath you didn’t even know you were holding and follow him.

There are some things in our lives that we cannot predict.  

Like the heavy traffic on the way to work because of the car crash happening somewhere in the city or meeting your ex you’d rather forget about in a shopping mall months after break up.  And when they do happen, we can only confront what the faith has in store for us, no matter how much we resist.

You certainly couldn’t predict that after sending a ‘god I want to get drunk so bad’ message to Jungkook he would actually appear hours later on your doorstep with grocery bags in one hand and pizza box in another, grinning broadly when he saw your genuinely surprised expression.

That’s when the surrealism kicks in, when you’re sitting on the floor of your bedroom, one empty bottle of suju on your account and the second almost drained to the half. When Jungkook is right by your side, tomato sauce on his chin you wipe out for him with a grimace, talking about some dumpling incident that caused a huge fight among his friends.

But no matter how much you try, how much alcohol you pour into your system, you’re unable to fully get rid of the anxious thoughts sitting at the back of your head.

It’s been a while since your argument with Minho and even though you want to believe him, the creeping feeling that something’s off won’t leave you. It’s easy to say to always trust your intuition, but what if it prompts you scenarios you wouldn’t like to become real?  

Jungkook must have sensed that something doesn’t feel right because he stops his rambling mid-sentence, clearing his throat. “Are you even listening to me now, buttercup?” he asks.  

You snap out of your thoughts at that, mustering an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I was but–”

“But you zoned out for a moment,” he finishes. “It’s okay. I know you since we were kids, I can tell when there's something bothering you. It’s all in your eyes.” he says, making you furrow your brows in confusion.

“What’s in my eyes?”  

“They look sad.”  

You shy away from his piercing stare, looking at your lap instead. You’ve always proud yourself that you can read people like an open book. That’s why you can so easily hide your true emotions at bay before the whole world. But if there’s only one person who is capable of seeing through you, it’s Jungkook.  

You can open up to him, you remind yourself. You’re safe, he’s been your friend for such a long time, he won’t hurt you.  

You take a deep breath and say, “Minho and I have some trouble. I mean, it’s nothing serious but he’s been acting weird lately and few days ago we got into a fight, so yeah. I’m just... a little stressed, that’s all.”  

“Should I kick his ass?” he suggests and knowing him, he might as well be serious so you brush it of with a chuckle.

“Maybe not yet.”  

You reach for the empty pizza box between you, putting it to the side. You debate taking another shot of soju but eventually you refuse, placing the bottle next to the carton. You’ve had enough alcohol for tonight anyway.  

“Are you happy with him, ___?” Jungkook asks suddenly, and you feel like all the air in the room has been sucked off.  

You turn to face him, heart rickocheting faster in your ribcage. If you’re truly shocked he’s had an audacity to ask this, you hide it pretty well. Something in your head is telling you that the best defence is attack, so you aim.  

“Are you happy?”  

Your question stirs something in him. You don’t know what you expected but you could never imagine him actually catching the bait and answering you with honesty. Yet he does.

“You know, I’ve been asking myself the same question a lot lately,” he says, smiling lopsidedly. “There are days when I’m the happiest person on this planet, when I feel like I can do everything. But sometimes, when I step down the stage and lights go out, it just gets harder.” There’s a slight crack to his voice at the end and when you look him in the eyes, they’re glassy. “If I knew it could be so lonely, I wouldn’t have signed up for this. Ever.”

Some things in life we are able to predict. We know the road leading to success and accomplishment might be bumpy, yet we cannot truly be prepared for the outcome of all the difficulties we come across along the way. Jungkook was aware of the consequences his popularity may cause in the future, but he simply didn’t think it could be so overwhelming.  

You scoot closer to him, your hand finding his amid your bodies. He looks down and intertwines his fingers with yours with a hint of smile in the corner of his lips. “You have all rights in the world to feel the way you do, Jungkook, remember that. But you’re not alone in this. I’m always here, okay? I’ve been for the past three years and I’m not going anywhere soon.” you say firmly, closing the distance between you.

He accepts your hug with eagerness, wrapping his arms around your frame with desperation, pulling you closer. It’s been so long since you’ve talked like this, since you’ve comforted each other and shared deepest fears.  

Jungkook buries his face in the crook of your neck, where you feel him breathing out shakily. He rests his palms on your back, tracing soothing patterns over the material of your hoodie and that’s when you realise he wasn’t the only one who needed to be held like this, even just for a moment. It’s exactly what you’ve been missing, the sheer intimacy of a simple hug.

“Sometimes I just wish it was different.” he whispers into your hair and you close your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat.  

“Me too.”  

Somehow, it seems like the most honest thing you’ve said.

Even when you pull away, you’re still mere inches from him. You feel his breath on your skin, his hands travelling from your backside to your hips. Jungkook's eyes are focused on your face but there’s no sadness or melancholy in them now. In his deep brown orbs you recognize something akin to longing.  

And maybe the alcohol running in your veins is deceiving you, but when his gaze drops to your lips, you can’t do anything; you’re paralyzed, barely breathing. It’s electrifying, crawling in your skin. His right palm finds the apple of your cheek, thumb stroking your bottom lip until he releases it and tilts your chin. The moment your eyes meet his comes with realization that maybe you were right - you see the yearning in them. But it’s mixed with desire.

The first touch of his lips on yours feels almost exploratory. He kisses you so softly and carefully you might believe it’s his first kiss, but you know this is only a false inkling. Truth to be told, his experience in this area is incomparable to yours. With the shy press of his lips on yours he’s only testing the waters, sensing if you want to push him away. Yet you don’t.  

You succumb to the way his chapped lips move against yours, like they’ve always belonged there. You want to be as close to him as possible, feel the heat radiating of him on you. Nothing else matters beside you and him right now, the reality outside doesn’t exist as long as you’re in the confines of your small bedroom, lips colliding and rational thoughts gone.

When your fingers almost hesitantly thread into the locks at the back of his head, Jungkook deepens the kiss. Your body is moving on your own accord, knees sinking onto the floor on either sides of his thighs until you’re straddling his lap. You taste the desire on his tongue as he runs it through the seam of your lips, seeking entrance you provide.

His hands find purchase on your hips and when he nips on your bottom lip you let out a silent moan, leaning your forehead on his. “What are we doing?” you whisper, breathing heavily down his flushed cheeks and parted mouth. You’re trying to grasp the meaning behind all of this: of your quickened heartbeat, of the evidence of his desire where you groins meet.

“Something we are going to regret later.” It’s the answer Jungkook gives, connecting your mouths once again in a searing kiss.

Everything seems to crush around you. Erupting volcanoes, cascading waterfalls, tsunamis consuming the land. It’s dangerous, Jungkook thinks to himself, kissing you like that, nibbling on your bottom lip and eliciting a moan. But he can’t help but drown in it.

You’ve never felt quite like this; consumed by the flames of forbidden desire, ready to burn into ashes. Jungkook’s palms shift underneath your hoodie and you’re surprised how warm they feel against your skin, caressing your stomach and underside of your breasts. He’s touching you with ardour, like he doesn’t believe you’re in his arms, like you’re going to disappear the second he lets go of you.

You place sloppy kisses on his cheeks, jawline, down his neck, relishing in the way he seems to be affected by your caresses, tightening his grip on your waist with every press of your lips on his skin. He grasps the hem of your hoodie, looking for any sign of discomfort in your eyes but when you nod your head, he doesn’t hesitate to lift it off you, uncovering your bare cleavage.

Biting your lip, a sudden wave of insecurity washes over you but it quickly vanishes as soon as his palms engulf your breasts almost roughly, thumbs brushing your nipples until the peeks harden under his ministrations and you can’t help but gasp. He trails kisses down your throat, teeth grazing your skin almost feather-like and you know what’s that for. He doesn’t want to live a visible mark there.

In one, swift motion, Jungkook puts his hands underneath your thighs and stands up from the floor, lifting you up with ease and placing gently on your bed. He hovers over your half-naked figure, eyeing you with the carnal hunger that makes your chest raise and fall with heavy intakes of breath, core pulsing with want.  

He takes off his shirt and tosses it somewhere on the floor, and now you understand why all these girl are so drown to him. Jungkook's probably the most good looking man you’ve ever laid eyes on. Everything in him is crafted with perfection, from the prominent outline of his jaw, through the column of his throat and collarbones, to the sculpted expanses of his chest and abdomen.  

Your fingerstips are itching to map every ridge and deep of his body but you remain still, anticipating his next move with rapidly beating heart. Dominance and power radiating of him nearly make you squirm underneath his scrutinizing stare. His dark eyes are telling you to obey him, and you give yourself to him without resistance. You’ve never felt this way, not with anyone. Yet here you are, stripped from the innocence and bared to the pleasure.

Jungkook reaches to the waistband of your leggings, pulling them down and leaving you with nothing but your underwear on. He straddles your thighs, his palm pressed flat to your stomach until he slides it lower, to the dip of your body where you drip with the need of being fucked until you forget your own name.  

The first press of his fingers on your pussy makes your limbs jerk uncontrollably and he smirks at your reaction, seeing the material of your panties dampening with his small, teasing strokes. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly it wounds you up, blame it on your uncontrollable celibacy or maybe something else entirely.

“What do you want me to do, doll?” His question makes you whine, hips raising to feel more of his touch on you but he only chuckles at your apparent eagerness, patting your folds in reprimand.  

“Anything,” you breathe out in response, looking at him with frenzied eyes and hoping he will be merciful to you.

Jungkook tsks, his fingers leaving your cunt and grasping your jaw tightly. “Be a good girl and use your words.”  

You gulp, a humiliating blush reddening your cheeks. You’ve never really been a vocal person during sex, nor were people you had slept with but you can’t deny how much of a turn on is Jungkook's commanding voice.

“Please, Jungkook. Want you to touch me.”  

“Where?” His other hand wanders down your body until he cups your center. “Here?” he asks in a mocking tone, making you nod silently. “You want me to touch your pretty pussy with my fingers?”  

“Yes, please.”  

He grasps your underwear and shruggs it off your legs, smirking when he sees you so affected by his words. He then shoves his index and middle finger into your mouth and watches as you obediently lap your tongue around them, looking at him with hooded eyes.

“Fuck.” he curses, pulling his fingers out of your mouth.  

You look so pliant and submissive lying naked underneath him, so willing to let him do with you whatever he pleases. His cock throbs in his pants at the thought. He’s had girls at his beck and call before but it’s a different kind of lust with you. A strong yearning, consuming him from the inside, a desperation to be as close as two humans being submerged into carnality possibly can be.

Your back arches when his calloused fingers finally make contact with your bare pussy, slipping between your folds to gather the wetness dripping from your hole. You gasp at the feeling of his thumb circling your clit, biting your lip until you taste iron. He easily finds the right way to make you moan, to make your legs shake with want.  

You cry out his name when he pushes the first digit inside. He swears under his breath when he feels your warm walls flattering around him. “M-more,” you whimper, hips lifting of the mattress and seeking friction.

Jungkook smirks at that. “You’re so wet, baby. You like it, don’t you? Such a greedy slut.” You’re mewling at his words, grasping his wrist when he roughly plunges another finger into your cunt and starts shoving them in and out, not sparing even a second to let you adjust to the punishing pace he sets.

He leans his body closer over yours, eyes focused on the way your face writhes in pleasure while his fingers are abusing your pussy. You’re dripping, your arousal coating the his palm and the insides of your thighs. When he sees you reaching to squeeze your breasts, he swears he’s never seen anything sexier than this in his entire life.

“Jungkookie–nghh, please,” You’re a blubbering mess, moaning incoherent sentences. You could sense your orgasm approaching, you’re feeling it warming your body from the tip of your toes all the way to your core where you’re gushing around his long fingers.  

“Come on, doll. Be a good girl and cum for me.” Jungkook murmurs. With his words and his thumb flicking your bundle of nerves with practiced ease, you’re pushed over the edge, tears spilling from your eyes and coating your cheeks. He watches with parted mouth as you come with his name on your lips, your velvet walls deliciously tightening around his digits. He gives you a moment to ride out your high, stroking your side with his palm soothingly.  

Pulling out his fingers, he places them in his mouth, humming lowly at the taste of your arousal on his tongue. He wants nothing more than bury his face between your thighs and lick you clean but right now, he needs to fuck you.  

He stands up from the bed, taking off his pants and boxers along with socks and catches you peeking at him from the corner of your eye. Your chest is rising with laboured breaths, lips swollen from the way you’ve been biting them to stop yourself from letting out any loud noises that could potentially be heard through the thin walls of your apartment.  

He digs one knee on the mattress, his other hand wrapped around his thick cock. You lick your lips at the sight, nails digging crescent moons into your palms.

“On your fours, baby.” Jungkook commands and you oblige with flushed cheeks, maneuvering your body onto your hands and knees. You feel him behind you, his palms stroking the skin of your bare ass. A sick thrill runs through your body at the prospect of being taken in such a humiliating position.  

Groaning, Jungkook rubs the mushroom head of his cock through your folds, collecting the juices spilling out of you. That’s when you come back to your senses and your whole body stiffens. “Wait,” you call out, making him pause. “We need a condom.”  

“I’m clean. Besides, I never fuck anyone else without protection.”  

“Fine, just–” Closing your eyes, you release a shaky breath. “–you need to pull out, okay?”  

Jungkook leans over your body, placing a kiss on your shoulder blade. “Relax, ___. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” With one hand on your waist and the other on your hip, he positions the tip of his cock at your entrance and pushes agonizingly slow inside, making you moan at the stretch. You’re grasping the sheets underneath between your fingers, knees threatening to give away after another measured stroke that leaves your heat pulsating.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. When was the last time he fucked you?” he grunts, digging his fingers into your flesh. At the mention of Minho, your body tenses. You breath heavily, trying to push the unwelcomed thoughts aside.  

“A m-month ago?” you utter, recalling the last time you had sex. Or rather when you sucked him off and he didn’t bother reciprocating the favor.  

Jungkook shoves his cock deeper, scoffing to himself. “His stupid for not appreciating this enough.”  

You bite your lip, focusing on the feeling of him inside you. His words sound affectionate, too affectionate for your liking and you don’t want to think about this moment like it means more than what it is. Your hands tremble and lose balance when he fucks into you harder, until he’s filling you to the brim. You’ve never felt so deliciously full. A few bits of ragged breaths later, you mumble, ‘’You can move.”

He tightens his grip on you, bottoming out. He sets a steady pace, fucking you slowly but deeply, making you cry out into the pillow at the sensation of his cock dragging through your walls, making sure you feel every inch of him. “You feel so good, doll. So wet and tight. I’m gonna make a mess of your pretty pussy.” he says lowly.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin echo through the room with the promise of merciless fucking. Jungkook is relentless, pounding into you faster and faster, like he wants to ruin you, imprint himself on your body to make you remember how easily you can give into vulnerability. His hand slips underneath you and he lifts your upper body up, pressing your back into his chest. The new found angle causes him to hit the spot inside you that has you putty in his arms.

“Don’t–nghhh–stop, fuck!”  

He grunts into your ear in response, sweaty bangs ticking the side of your neck. He sneaks his other hand around your throat and you gulp. “Is this okay?” You hear him whispering and you’re nodding, tears gathering in your eyes from the immense pleasure he is bringing to you with every snap of his hips that threatens to make you lose it on his cock.

His fingers apply a slight pressure against your neck, enough to make you lightheaded with unfamiliar yet ecstatic feeling. He overwhelms you in every way possible and you’ve never felt like this; so powerless yet alive at the same time.  

Jungkook releases the grip on your throat but he’s hand still remains there as if in warning. “Look at you, taking my cock in your slutty cunt. You’re close, aren’t you? Gonna cum all over me?” he growls, fingers rubbing your clit in fast circles until tears are spilling down your cheeks and you’re keening.

“God–yes, fuck! Please, I want to cum so bad.” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut. You’re on cloud nine, trembling in his arms. He tightens his hold on your throat again and with one last, final flick of his digits on your pussy you’re reaching your second orgasm this night.  

Jungkook releases his hold on you, helping you lay down on your back after riding out your high to the brick of oversensitivity. His palm caresses the length of your body soothingly, calming you down. You’re eyes are still closed when he bends and kisses you. Surprised by his sudden gentleness, your breath hitches in your throat. He coaxes a small moan out of you when you finally relax, wrapping your arms around his neck blindingly and pulling him close.  

You break away the kiss, feeling his stiff length pressing into your stomach. His cock is covered in your slick, thick and hard against his toned abdomen. Biting your lip, you sit up and enclose your fingers around his sex. Looking up, you're met with his dark orbs watching your movements. With his raven hair falling down on his face and sweaty chest, Jungkook looks painfully beautiful.

He lets out a hiss when you lean down and take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around his velvet tip. “Fuck, just like that.” he murmurs. Gathering your hair in his hand, he makes a makeshift ponytail and stares down at you bringing him closer and closer to the edge with every drag of your pink muscle on his cock.  

Feeling him twitch in your mouth, you take him deeper, ignoring the ache in your jaw. “Gonna cum.” Jungkook grunts and moments later he releases his seed down your throat. You swallow the bitterness of his arousal, lapping your tongue around his tip until he pulls out of you, wincing with oversensitivity.

Silence takes over the room. You don't dare looking at him, staring at your naked lap instead, thoughts screaming in your head. You know you’re going to feel the aftermath of your rough fucking tomorrow, and it won’t be only physical pain. You sit up, ready to go to the bathroom but a hand on your wrist stops you.

“Wait, I’ll do it.” Jungkook murmurs and you nod absentmindedly.

He gets up from the bed and disappears in the bathroom. Unsure of what to do, you force your muscles to move, sitting at the edge of the bed. Jungkook comes back a minute later, carrying a dump towel.

Your head drops to the ground immadietly. He kneels before you and you desperately avoid his eyes. You notice he’s put on his boxers already and now he’s cleaning you gently off, removing evidences of your sins from your skin. You will take a shower later, the water will wash you off from each other’s scents and lingering touches. Love bites will soon disappear, bruises on your hips fade. Yet the scars you left on your hearts won’t heal that easily.

Jungkook puts his hand on your knee and you bite your bottom lip. He takes your hoodie lying on the floor and puts on your naked, marked body. Your heart clenches in your chest at the simple gesture.

“___,” he calls your name. At that, you finally look up at him. He seems worried, you must tell, millions of thoughts crossing his mind at the moment as well as yours. “Let’s go to sleep for now, okay? We will talk about this in the morning.”  

You don’t say anything, nodding at his words. You crawl onto the bed, trying to create as much distance as possible between your bodies but it’s pointless. You feel his breath on your neck and you're sure his itching to hold you, but he doesn’t know if he should, so he stays mere inches from you, until you both eventually fall asleep.

Jungkook wakes up hours later with a raging headache. He grunts to himself, rubbing his face with grimace and making another meaningless promise about drinking less alcohol. When he open his eyes, he realises he’s staring at the fluorescent stars attached to the ceiling. Your ceiling.

When he turns his head to the left, he finds the other side of the bed empty. It’s almost bright in the room, which means he’s stayed overnight again. And he didn’t do just that.  

Bits of memories flash behind his eyelids: him coming to your flat to hang out, your conversation, the kiss that led to naked bodies and breathy moans. He fucked up royally this time.  

Throwing the comforter off his body, he feels a sudden rush of coldness raising goosebumps on his skin. Frowning, he picks up his discarded clothes from the floor and starts putting them on. The door to your bedroom are cracked open, just like you haven’t closed them to not wake him up.  

Jungkook raises from the bed once he’s fully dressed, and pushes the door. He finds you standing by the fully opened window in your kitchen, staring outside.

He understands now why there was so cold before. The fluffy, blueish robe wrapped around your body is probably doing little job at providing warmth, but you don’t seem to mind it at all. You don’t see him yet, your back facing him until he takes another step and the floor creaks underneath his weight.  

He sees your shoulders raising and falling, as if you’ve just let out a sigh. Then, you turn around cautiously, a greish puffs of smoke swirling over your features. Jungkook raises a brow.

“I thought you said you had quit.” It’s the first thing he says, his voice still groggy from sleeping.

You shrug at that, averting your gaze to the view behind your opened window again. “I always smoke after making a bad decision.”  

It sounds bitter coming from you. A testament of your recklessness and weak hearts. He could read the regret straight from your face. It’s all in your posture: you look broken. And he is the reason why you’re hurting. The guilt is almost eating him up from the inside. He needs to try fixing this before you will push him away and he’ll lose you again.

“I think we should forget about that.” you speak after a moment of silence, still refusing to meet his eyes. Your voice trembles and he feels it stabbing him right in the middle of his chest, depriving him of hope to make things good between you. “It’ll be for the better for of us if we act like nothing ever happened. We got drunk, we let our emotions get the best of us. That’s all.”  

You and him both know it wasn’t just  alcohol which made you let him touch you like that, fuck your worries away for a few bits of pleasant oblivion. It meant so much more but you’re too afraid to confront this. You aren’t ready yet.

When you close the window and finally look at him, Jungkook's shoulders are slouched. Defeated. Something aches in your heart at that. “I’m sorry. For everything,” he tells you. He’s clenching his fists by his sides and you know he’s hurting too, more than he could ever let anybody realize. “I should get going then.”  

He exits the kitchen with one last, small smile reserved only for you. You didn't mean to handle the situation like that, like you’re quickly ripping off the band-aid, but you couldn’t think of a better way. Closing your eyes, you let your emotions decide once again. “Wait,” you call out after him, stepping into the hallway. “Maybe you will stay for breakfast.” you propose and Jungkook shakes his head.

“No. It’s okay. I don’t want to keep you busy.” he says, putting on his jacket. Reaching for the handle, he turns to you and smiles. “Take care, ___.” When the door close behind him, you let out a long exhale.  

What Jeon Jungkook couldn’t predict, is that he will be the one doing walk of shame out of your flat.

[theaviskullguy]

Ink and Petals

@dapple-dualies-propaganda here's the au

Tattoo artist! Rider x Florist! Goggles

hope you enjoy!

---------

When was it not busy at Squid ink?

It was one of the top Tattoo Parlors in Inkopolis. and it was also on a pretty busy street. So, it got a lot of customers. Also the fact that one of the artists was a famous turfer.

Rider hadn't formerly retired, but he had eased out of playing Turf Wars. He had found other interests outside of the sport: Theater, art, reviewing old movies online... He still did Turf from time to time, albeit the adult league. He was too old for the more popular teen division.

So, he found a job as a tattoo artist. And he rather loved it. Not only did most of his friends consult him for tattoo advice (from where the best places are to good designs), but he also knew some gossip. One of his regulars had beef with her neighbor because he has a pet raccoon who keeps stealing her trash and Rider could NOT wait to hear more about this story.

Another thing was, well, Rider had seen some shit. From people covered head to toe in tats, to people eagerly wanting their first tattoo, even to shyer folk who wanted one to defy controlling parents or to mark something important.

None of that prepared Rider for the news he got when tattooing one of the customers. More specifically, Gloves.

You see, Gloves had been coming in for the past few days. They had wanted a pretty complicated butterfly tat, so for the last 3 days Rider has been exchanging stories with the resident enby about... pretty much anything.

This is how this exchange happened;

"So you remember Goggles, right?" Gloves asked.

Rider rolled his eyes. "What, you think I'd forget the guy who kept pulling down my pants?"

"Oh ha ha. Anyways, apparently he works at that flower shop now."

"...He what?"

"You heard me!" They said. "I went there yesterday to get something for a project and there was Goggles! He misses you, 'ya know!"

Rider was just. quiet. He hadn't talked to his crush in a while, contact dwindled when Rider stopped doing Turf as much. Never once did he think Goggles would miss him, but that was probably the self hatred talking.

"...I'll think about it." Was all Rider said.

The conversation continued like nothing happen; Gloves saying multiple cursed things and Rider sharing interesting stories he heard on his job. Time flew by and soon, the tattoo was done; a butterfly with the bi colors on one wing and the nb colors on the other. Rider was quite proud of it, and Gloves seemed to like it. They waved, and left the store, humming to themselves.

Rider looked at the clock. His shift ended in just a few minutes. He knew he had no other appointments that day, so he took to watching old recorded matches in his phone.

Those were over a decade ago. Yet he still remembered everything. His favorite part was still learning he won a match by such a small margin. It was just... amazing.

He sighed. Rider missed those battles. But he has to say, he missed his crush a bit more.

He clocked out, saying goodbye to the other employee-Cherry (business relationships were easy to maintain when your coworkers were your siblings), and headed towards the flower shop for more reasons than one.

Army had a performance the next day. And yeah, Rider knew it was romantic, but platonically giving your best friend flowers was always nice. Plus, he wanted an excuse to see Goggles again.

He looked into the shop-the blue inkling was nowhere to be seen, but then again neither was the front desk. So, Rider shrugged and stepped in.

The floral scent was strong, but not overwhelming. Plenty of blossoms lined the stands, along with tags of what the flowers were and what they meant.

Rider looked around, trying to remember which flowers Army liked again, when he heard a familiar, youthful voice.

"Hi! Need any help?"

The inkling turned around. Goggles had definitely changed since Rider last saw him; his tentacles were longer and in an actual bun, for once. His blue eyes still had that clarity, and he still had that goofy smile. Though he didn't seem to recognize Rider.

"Uhh... I'll be fine. I'm just trying to remember what flower my friend likes the most." He said, hoping his accent didn't give him away; there weren't many in Inkopolis with an Australian accent.

But, Goggles didn't seem to notice or care. "Oh, okay!"

Rider internally breathed a sigh of relief. That would have been awkward if Goggles recognized him.

He looked around the shop, before spotting a bouquet of lilies. He knew Army liked lilies. If they weren't his favorite flower, it'd be close enough.

Rider took a few of the bigger ones, and a few white roses for variety, and took them to the counter.

Goggles smiled. "This a special occasion?"

"Not exactly. Just, my friend's doing a performance for a musical and I wanted to get him something for it." Rider explained.

"What musical?" Gogs asked, arranging the flowers with a sheer, white ribbon tying them together.

"Hadestown. He got Eurydice."

"Oh! I went to go see it last night! Army's amazing at that role. He's your friend, right?"

Rider internally panicked, but calmed down after remembering he wasn't Army's only friend. "Yeah. We've been friends for a while now."

"Well, tell him I said hi!" He handed the bouquet to Rider. "On me, alright? It's for a friend anyways!"

Rider nodded. "Thanks, mate."

"You're welcome!"

------

A few weeks went by. Rider occasionally stopped at the flower shop and got flowers for...well, no real reason. He'd use them to add color to his house, or give them to friends. He just wanted an excuse to see Goggles.

He'd talked to the blue inkling a bit more, too. He'd gotten into the business since, well, he really liked flowers, and he wanted a job where he could just...relax! He still did Turf, of course, but the Adult league was more serious than the teen one, and he just wanted to have fun instead of be expected to take a game seriously.

He still didn't recognize Rider. The yellow-green inkling was a bit hurt by this, to be honest.

Though, it was a bit startling when Goggles actually walked into Rider's work. And Rider was assigned to give Goggles his first tattoo: A blue jay on his shoulder, taking off from a branch.

This time, it was Goggles' turn to ask questions as Rider worked.

"Sooo.... you've been coming into my shop for a while and I still don't know your name!" The blue inkling stated. "I mean, you can probably recognize me though!"

Rider shrugged. "Well, who can forget Goggles of the Idiot Blue team?"

Goggles giggled. "You do know me! I still don't know you!!"

"...I can assure you, we've met before that day I got Army flowers." Rider said.

"Ooh! Can I try and guess who you are?"

"Ehh, why not."

"Okay! Umm..." Goggles thought for a moment. "Clams facemask?"

Rider shook his head. "Nope."

"Inkfall?"

"Wrong."

"Eging Jr?"

"Not even close there."

"Stealth Goggles?"

"Getting closer, I'll give you that."

"....Rider?" Goggles asked.

Rider chuckled. "Took you long enough, idiot."

Goggles smiled wide. "I finally found you! Hi Riri!"

"Hey, Gogs. It's been a while."

"Yeah! I'm a bit surprised I didn't recognize you, since we were pretty close!" Goggles stated.

Rider shrugged. "Well, I'm not the most memorable person anyways."

"Riderrrrr don't say that!" Goggles said. "You're still really popular!"

"To some people, maybe. Not everyone."

There was a tense silence, other than the hum of the tattoo needle as it made the drawing.

"....So." Goggles started again. "How's life?"

"It's...well, better than it was." Rider said. "Got my own place, for one. Though it gets a bit lonely.. You?"

"I'm still living in an apartment. I really want a roommate!" Goggles proclaimed. "Maybe we could move in together?"

"..I'll think about it, Gogs. Though it might be fun being your roommate."

"Really? Thanks Rider!" Goggled smiled.

The conversation grew more casual. Rider enjoyed it; turns out Goggles had his fair share of gossip. It was kinda cool.

And as the next few days passed, Rider looked forward to each of those sessions. His crush seemed to go from "this person would be fun to date i think" to "hOLY MOTHER OF THE GODS IM IN L O V E", and it didn't help that during those meetings, Goggles had to be shirtless.

The days turned into weeks and months. Goggles moved in with Rider, and the two became incredibly close friends.

And, it came to a head near valentines day. Goggles' shop was very busy, as expected. Luckily, Squid Ink wasn't as much.

So, on his day off, just before Valentines, Rider headed to the flower shop and got a bouquet of roses. Cliché to confess on Valentines day, Rider knew, but he's a pining gay cut him some slack.

And Rider came home right as Goggles was leaving for his shift. So, that left Rider with a good 3 hours to practice his confession.

"Alright, Rider. This has to be CASUAL. 'Hey, I've liked you for over a decade but just now had the confidence to confess!' No, too creepy sounding. 'Yo, Gogs. I really like you and maybe we could go out to dinner sometimes?' ...Too casual."

....Yeah, this went on for a while.

Rider groaned, collapsing his his bed. "I wish feelings were fucking easier...I should just call Army."

So, he grabbed his phone and selected the contact, Veronica Sawyer Kinnie

"C'mon, Army... pick up."

And not one ring later, "Rider, what is it?"

"...I need romantic help. Please." Rider asked.

"Look, just because I'm married to Aloha, doesn't mean I know how I ended up here."

"Yeah, I kinda know that." He stated. "Still. I really need some help."

Army sighed. "Who is it? It's totally that one person with the raccoon story-"

"Actually, no. It's, um.... It's Goggles."

The octoling on the other end of the line could be heard sighing. "Still a morosexual I see."

"OI! You're the one who married a fuckin himbo!"

".....Touché. Still, there's a difference."

Rider huffed. "Just... give me some advice. I wanna confess to him tomorrow but I've got no idea how. I'm giving him roses, but like, there's gotta be something more I could do, y'know?"

"Have you tried asking Prince?" Army suggested. "He is the one with the obsession with rom coms and romance novels."

"This is his exam period, Army. I'm not about to potentially interrupt a cram session by asking for romantic advice!"

"Fair enough. I'd say...well, just rip off the band aid. Like... 'Hey, Goggles, I really like you and was wondering if you'd like to be my boyfriend.'"

"...Thanks, Arm. I'll, uh, give it a try."

-------

Rider couldn't sleep that well. Mainly out of anticipation.

He was gonna confess to his crush of...over a decade, at least. He didn't fuckin know what was gonna happen!

Like, would Goggles reciprocate? Would he hate Rider after it? WHAT THE FUCK WOULD HAPPEN-

He sighed. He needed to get his mind off this shit.

Rider looked over to his bedside clock: 5AM. 5 hours before his shift. 5 hours to get his shit together and plan for confessing to the world's cutest but also dumbest man later that night.

C'mon, Rider. Think. Army said to rip it off like a band aid, but Goggles might find that a little sudden and out of the blue. He could write a letter and leave it for Goggles when he went to his shift (The flower shop was closed on Valentines day). That would be a safe option.

Rider sat up, and got out a piece of paper and pencil, writing a note.

"Hey, Goggles.

There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while. I really, really like you. As in, a crush.

I totally get it if you don't like me back, or think I'm weird, but hey, I was wondering if you'd wanna go out to dinner or something. Probably not tonight cause of Valentine's day but maybe tomorrow night or something.

-Rider"

Quickly, he folded it and wrote Goggles' name, putting a little heart sticker on it. It was corny, but hey, Rider had to use up those stickers somehow.

Rider attached it to the roses, and kept it on his desk.

And so, the morning went as normal. He had breakfast, got out of his pjs, put his hair up... the usual.

But as Rider left to go to work, he left the note and rose on the table, and left the house quickly.

During the day, he nearly forgotten all about it; He caught up with the gossip-Apparently the neighbor with the raccoon and the regular were now dating. So that was a nice little end to the story.

Squid Ink wasn't AS busy-probably because it was Valentines day, people were spending it with their lovers, not getting inked up (unless they made the appointment when single)

And it was near the end of Rider's shift when he heard his name mentioned. Probably someone making an appointment before he heard the familiar voice of Goggles going "Okay!!"

The blue inkling walked over to his station. "Hi Ridey!!"

"...Hey, Gogs. Getting another tat?" Rider asked, trying to keep his cool.

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!!!"

"A'ight anything specific in mind or-"

"Can I get just a simple quote one?"

Rider nodded. "Where do you want it?"

Goggles pulled down the collar of his shirt slightly. "Right here, please!"

"Okay. Just try to keep holding that down so I don't mess up.

-----

And so, tattoo conversations ensued.

The quote Goggles had wanted was a simple Pride one, that said "love is love". It was discreet, but a bit of it could be seen poking out if Goggles ever wore a v-neck.

"So, any plans for tonight?" Rider asked, trying to keep things subtle. Maybe Goggles hadn't read the note yet.

The blue inkling nodded. "Kinda! I had mental plans buuuuut nothing serious."

Rider raised an eyebrow. "Who with?"

"..I m-mean, I still have to ask him.." Goggles' face turned a shade of blue, and he averted his gaze.

"....Can I guess who he is?"

"If ya can!"

He smiled. "Does his name have an R in it?" Rider had a guess it was himself, but it wouldn't hurt to check.

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!"

"Got an accent?"

"Yep!!"

"Is he doing your tattoo?"

"....y-yeah?" Goggles sheepishly smiled. "I'm n-not that discreet, am I?"

Rider chuckled, but on the inside he was screeching. "Honestly? I had no clue myself."

"Really? I've been dropping the most obvious hints!"

"...Like what?" Rider asked, now a bit curious.

"Welllll I've been picking movies you like during movie night, I've made sure to get your drink on coffee runs, Oh! And I offered to cook dinner that one time!" Goggles stated.

"...Damn. I'm just oblivious then." The former dynamo user laughed, before turning off the needle. "There. It's all done." Rider held up a mirror for the blue boy.

Goggles' face lit up. "Whoa! It looks amazing!!! Thanks Riri!"

Rider smiled. "You're welcome. Now, uh, ...did you read my note?"

"..Y-yeah, I did. And, um...I like you too Rider!!" The blue man pressed a small, quick kiss to Rider's cheek.

Rider blushed. "S-so, you'll let me t-take you out?"

Goggles nodded. "Yeah!!!"

"I...thanks, Gogs."

"You're welcome Riri!!!"

----------

aAAAAA RUSHED END

but like. hope yall enjoy!

[conservativetranny]

2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit. 

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on. 

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible. 

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

[leviskokoro]

Mari In Twisted Wonderland | Abridged Version | Savanaclaw

Chapter 2

Days after the Overblot Incident and Revenge Unbirthday Party, Mari gets another dream and this time it’s about the furries-- I mean, animals. She didn’t really get what it meant.

Lunch happened and Ruggie stole Grim’s lunch. Mari was confused but then they were called to the Headmaster’s office so she couldn’t question it. 

Crowley explained shit to the shared brain cell trio and Mari. Blah blah blah. Grim got upset that he can’t play magift and show off. Mari rationalized with him that he won’t be able to show off if he’s only a beginner and that she’ll treat him to canned tuna to cheer him up. He seemed to be having a terrible day, getting his lunch stolen and then being told he can’t participate in a sports event. 

She asked Crowley if he was searching for a way home but quickly realizes that he didn’t seem to be doing it. Though, she didn’t really say anything about it since the demon brothers were probably looking for a way to get her back. 

Then they got back to their dorms later but Crowley came to visit and explained that students were getting injured and shit was real sus since there were a lot of them. Grim told him that he didn’t want to help but he pretty much just forced them by saying the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. He also bribed Grim by saying he’d let him participate in the magift tournament. Though, Mari was aware that he was lying through his teeth. However, she said nothing since she didn’t want to break Grim’s spirit again. Plus, she was going to help regardless of the situation. Might as well be helpful while she’s stuck in there. 

So the investigation started. They looked in the infirmary and Mari noticed that there were no Savanaclaw students that were injured but figured that maybe the culprit hasn’t got to them yet. Then they interrogated two injured students from Heartslabyul and they didn’t get any helpful answers so they tried looking for more clues. Only to fail and go back to the Ramshackle Dorm. 

Ace visited and they explained the situation to him. But then Deuce ran in and yelled about how Trey got injured too. So they ran to the Heartslabyul dorm and saw him. 

Mari was genuinely proud of Grim for being nice enough to give Trey the can of tuna she bought for him earlier in order to cheer him up. 

Riddle came by to check on Trey and then explained how he got injured. Then Cater pulled everyone excluding Trey to a different room and let Mari tell them about the other injured students. 

So, the Heartslabyul gang + Grim and Mari went to investigate together and saw the Pomefiore Dorm, which was probably Mari’s favorite dorm so far. It was certainly pretty. 

And now for Mari’s first impression of Rook: “Dang he kinda hot” 

Rook will remember that

Then the rest of the gang decided that he didn’t look strong enough so the culprit probably wouldn’t wanna target him, then went on to Octavinelle to see the tweels. 

First impression of the tweels as she and the rest ran for their dear lives: “Jesus fuck they’re creepy” 

They escaped and Mari finally remembered what she noticed about the injured students again. “Savanaclaw might be the next targets since there weren’t any injured students from there” 

So they got to the Savanaclaw Dorm and met Jack. She was like “oh you’re the hot furry” and he was like “excuse me?” Then he tells them that he won’t be targetted and that they should fuck off. 

Then they got in trouble with Savanaclaw delinquents and Leona and Ruggie came. Leona recognized Mari as the herbivore that stepped on his tail. The delinquents get angry but he still drinks respecc women juice and just challenges the gang to magift. Since Mari had no magic, she had to sit this one out. 

She goes home and sleeps, but then realizes she can’t and decides to have a midnight walk because she hasn’t seen enough horror movies to know that’s not the best idea. Then she meets Malleus. Probably thinks he’s the hottest guy she’s seen in NRC besides Leona and Jamil. 

“Oh, you are a child of man” “And you’re a man with horns”

She isn’t particularly intimidated by him. Like— She’s met Lucifer and has been nearly killed by him twice. Some strange dude with horns got nothin’ on him. Mari asked who he is and he seemed to be surprised by that, then he smirked. 

Dude said it would be better if she didn’t know and let her call him whatever she wanted. She was like “Aight” then he left. 

Mari goes to sleep and has another dream. She wonders why she’s having another dream about animals and why does the lion look familiar. Then she woke up, wondering what it meant. Barbatos was rather vague when he gave her his parting gift. 

On the way to school with Grim, she told him about the Tall handsome dude with horns. He dubbed him “Tsunotarou”. She liked the name a lot and decided to use it. 

They meet up with Cater and Riddle, who tell them that Jamil got injured. So they go meet him. 

‘Ah fuck his voice is hot too’ Mari thought when she met him. It seemed that she was right about Kalim, he was quite friendly. 

So they finally found out about Ruggie but couldn’t catch him. Then Jack appeared again. He’s like “Why are you working so hard for other people’s sake?” 

Ace is like “Lmao we just wanna get picked for the magift tournament and show off. We don’t give a shit about these guys.”

Mari sighed and said, “Why is literally everyone in this school so selfish?” And Jack questions her as to her reason for doing it. Then she replies with “Well-- Crowley kinda said that living in the Ramshackle Dorm wasn’t free. Though, he didn’t really have to force me since I would’ve helped regardless because I just like feeling helpful.”

Then Jack told the shared braincell trio that they’re worse than he thought. Though, he also mentioned that he didn’t trust Mari’s type. As in, “Guys that just do things for others” 

Ace was like “no u” 

Then Jack was like “Fight me bitch. If you want me to spill my guts, you gotta defeat me”

Deuce went bad boy like “fuck yeah lets go dude” and they fight

And they win. The rest of the guys are surprised that Mari knows how to fight. She’s like “The Future King of Hell taught me martial arts for like a year” and they’re not sure whether she’s being serious or if she’s crazy. 

And then Jack went into this whole spiel about how cowardly tricks make him nauseous and how he wanted to use his own power to claim victory at the top. Then he finally spills the beans on what Ruggie’s unique magic is and how Savanaclaw is in on the plan. 

“Why would they?” “How well you do in the magift tournament can have a big impact on your future, right? So I can’t say I don’t understand their feelings” 

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR” 

Mari is like “Dude, chill. Understanding someone doesn’t mean you agree with them.” 

Jack replied with “The now comes before the future! Show what you can do now!” 

Then goes onto yet another spiel about how he can’t stand Leona and how that guy is amazing but never gives his full effort. 

Ace whispers to Mari like “Damn he tsundere for his own dorm leader” 

And Jack tells them that Savanaclaw is going to target the dorm leader of Diasomnia, Malleus Draconia during the day of the magift tournament. 

Riddle and Cater come by like “Lol thanks for telling us” Then Riddle was going to tell them the plan but Jack was like “bitch im not gonna help. Im gonna do this shit myself. Bye” 

Mari countered with “What have you accomplished on your own?” 

He’s just >:(

“Smart wolves hunt as a pack” “Ugh fine. But if your plan sucks, I’m leaving.” 

So after hearing Riddle out, he’s like “Aight I’ll help.” 

Everyone came to an agreement and went to their respective dorms. Mari has another dream, then thought “Bruh he really wanted to be king then when he became king, he didn’t even do it right.”

“Oi, wake up.” 

Mari felt someone shake her awake. She groaned and swatted away the hands, wanting to sleep more. It didn’t quite register in her mind that someone broke into her room. It was only until her blanket was tugged away from her. The cool air hit her bare body. She shuddered and her eyes finally fluttered open to see Jack with a flustered expression before he threw the blanket over her body. 

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?!” 

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!” 

“Tch.” He looked away and rubbed his neck. “I came from my morning run to wake you up early. I couldn’t let you oversleep on the day of the tournament. S-Sorry for breaking into your room…”

Grim perked up and was motivated to go immediately so that he could collect his reward to play in the tournament. “Come on! Let’s go already!” 

“Just let me get dressed and I’ll be right with you. Be patient.” 

For the rest of that morning, Jack couldn’t look at her directly. When he did, images of that embarrassing situation all came back to his mind 

So they got to the stadium. Shit hit the fan but everything was fine because Heartslabyul revealed their plan. Diasomnia is perfectly alright. 

Leona got pissed and he revealed his unique magic. Sand is everywhere. He’s trying to kill Ruggie. 

Mari is like “Ugh I hate sand” 

Jack also revealed his unique magic and turned into a full furry-- I mean, wolf. This surprised Leona, which gave Riddle the opportunity to collar him. 

Lilia be spittin facts. 

Hearing Leona yell about agony and despair and that things will never change kinda made Mari’s heart hurt because it felt… familiar. How hopeless he seemed to feel. It reminded her of how she was before coming to the Devildom. 

Then he overblotted.

Then they beat the sit out of him. Mari is like “Does this usually happen?” 

So the magift tournament went on and Savanaclaw still got to play because the injured students wanted revenge. Grim also reminded Crowley about his reward so he was allowed to play against Savanaclaw. 

Grim did an oopsie and tried to do a special move but it backfired and hit Mari in the head instead. She had to be rushed to the infirmary. 

She woke up to see the shared braincell trio and the furry boys. Ace told her that she’s been asleep for so long that the closing ceremony was over and they’re dismantling the venue. 

Leona told her that Diasomnia was the champion. 

Ace and Deuce talked about how good Malleus was for a moment. Jack was like “No one can win if they give up before they try.” Mari agreed with him. He then said that he was going to beat Diasomnia fair and square next year. 

Leona was like ““Underhanded tactics” require one’s strength too” and she asked if he even felt bad. He was just like lmao no 

A wild Babie has appeared. Leona went >:0 but introduced Cheka to them. 

Mari squealed at the sight of such an adorable child. Internally she was saying “I’ve seen Cheka for 4 seconds but if anything were ever to happen to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

Jack: So the root of all Leona’s pain is… 

Mari: The cutest lil angel ever! 

Cheka: Are you guys my uncle’s friends? 

Everyone else laughed at Leona except Mari who was busy introducing herself to the lil babie. 

Leona will remember that. 

Timeskip to when Mari went to sleep and saw the creepy shadow in the mirror. She’s lowkey shook but then she woke up. Seeing the time was pretty early in the morning, she decided to have a lil stroll to see the sun rise. 

She found a good spot and sat down, singing lightly to herself. 

The sound of leaves being crushed under one’s feet reached her ears from behind her. Mari didn’t bother looking up at the source, being too enamored with seeing the sky as its hues morph from navy to a golden yellow. The dark clouds turned into tangerine and peach ones. She gave a dreamy sigh. 

“Oi, Mari.” She heard the gruff voice of Jack. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh you know, just… Watching that gorgeous sunrise. I’ve lived in a land with no sun for a year so seeing it like this is quite the blessing,” She responded, still not looking up. 

“Seriously? I’ve never heard of a place like that.” Jack sat beside her. 

“Yeah. Living in Hell was quite the experience but it was fun.” Mari chuckled lightly. 

Her words caused him to furrow his eyebrows, wondering if she was kidding or not. He shook his head, deciding that it wasn’t important. He turned to her. 

“So… about that time…” 

“Hm? What time?” Mari finally looked at him, confusion swirling in her pools of chocolate. She tilted her head. 

His face felt warm as the blood rose to his tanned cheeks. “Y-You know what I’m talking about!”

Upon seeing his flustered expression, she finally remembered what he meant. Her mouth formed an ‘o’. What could he possibly gain from bringing that up now? 

“I wanted to apologize properly…” He spoke up again, rubbing the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have violated your privacy like that and broke into your room.” He finally had the courage to look back into her eyes. Golden hues meeting chocolate. 

“How can I make it up to you?” 

Mari saw this opportunity and a smirk crept up onto her lips. “You could make it up to me by letting me pet you.” 

He yelped and his eyes widened to the size of saucers. His ears stood erect. “Wh-What?!” 

She pouted. “I thought you wanted to make it up to me? This is the least I could ask for after you broke into my room and saw me naked!” 

“Okay! Okay! Just don’t yell or someone’s gonna hear you.” 

Mari stopped and looked at him with expectations glinting in her eyes. 

He leaned downward. His head was lowered and ears curled back, anticipating her touch. 

She grinned and laid her hand over his head, caressing it tenderly. “Oh my~ Your hair is quite soft. I see that you groom yourself well, Jack. How nice~” She cooed, continuing to pet him with such pure glee swimming in her chocolate eyes. “How are you liking this? Does it feel nice~?” 

“Tch… Just because I’m letting you do this, doesn’t mean I like it,” He told her. 

“But your tail is wagging.” She pointed out. Blood spurted to his face and he pulled away. 

“Alright, that’s enough!” He exclaimed to her, trying not to show her that he was flustered. “We’re going to be late for school if we don’t hurry.” 

Mari glanced at the sun and nodded. “Oh! You’re right. I’ll go wake up Grim and head to class. Thanks again, Jack.” 

“Don’t expect me to let you do that again. We’re not friends or anything.” He walked away from her. 

A smile graced her lips as she watched him leave with a mirthful gaze. “Alright,” she whispered and made her way to the Ramshackle Dorm.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

That Be Some Good Buttercream

Summary- Steve and Bucky get your help in replicating a howling commando days battle using Christmas baking fun. But... Does anything ever quite work out the way it should? Set in the same characters I used in Night In, Looking Pretty Fly and Popping Pez and Mismatched Socks. Written for @official-and-unstable-satan​ 300 Follower Celebration Challenge. She still has many prompts, check it out. Prompts in italiacs. No warnings, all fluffy. 

Word Count- 1.6k

A/N- so proud of your accomplishments babes, you are an amazing writer and I love getting lost in your stories and listening to your ideas. I know your just gonna keep going up from here. Love you always babygirl 💚😈💚😈💚😈💚

“Bucky, they came around from the south end” 

“No they did not. I remember Steve, I was there.”

“Yea, and so was I” 

You and Sam had been listening to the two super soldiers carry on at the oversized table in the compounds kitchen dining area for a good hour before you readjusted the volume on the tv once more. Sam, half laying over half the couch remained scrolling on his phone, remarking. 

“Aint gonna do you no good, they just get louder.”

You sigh and hit the off button, he was right. Might as well go see what these two were up to anyways. Pushing yourself off the couch, Sam promptly stretched his legs out onto where you were sitting, making himself comfterable. “See you on the other side Kid!” He joked, settling into watching youtube. 

Wandering in, you saw the two men bent over  large map, Steve with pencil in hand drawing arrows to discern where they started from, stretching it across what looked like a military base. Bucky shook his head. 

“No no no, Punk, I wasnt up there, I was down here” 

“Bucky, I had you up on the highest point, it just looks weird on paper.” 

“You know what, this is pointless.” You could see Bucky getting aggitated with there project, pushing himself away from the table. “We need like... a 3D model to get this right.” 

Steve to straightened up, his arms folding as he looked down at the heavily marked paper. “Well... Tony does have some...” You interrupt in this time, moving over to the table and taking a peek at what they were doing. 

“You know, I have an idea of how to make you two a 3D model.” Both the men quirked brows, curious as to what you had in mind. "Givingerbread reanatcment.” 

You expected a rebuttal, a laugh, anything, since you were joking. But the two of them actually looked thoughtful, glancing at each other. “It would be easier then trying to draw it out” Steve mentioned. “And easier then trying to get Tony to set up the AI model for us.” 

“Plus we get some fucking cookies... Im in.” Bucky grinned, obviously pleased in the options of snacks. What started as a joke from you became a very serious matter as the two Soldiers dragged you into the kitchen. The two of them looking at you expectedly. 

“I was just joking guys, Im not making you a hydra replica gingerbread base. You know how much shit that would take.” At this point you backtracking a bit, wishing the words hadnt fallen out of your mouth so damn easily cause you thought is was funny. 

“Nonsense, you wont be doing all of it. Were going to help.” Steves already moving to wash his hands as Bucky is digging through a drawer and slipping on a god damn “Kiss the Cook” apron, he found in a drawer, ties it swiftly around his back and rolls up his sleeves. 

“You know you always wanted to boss us around Doll.” Bucky smirks, wiggling brows in a teasing manner. “You finally get your chance.” 

You look between the two men, the two of them nodding in encouragement, Steve composed as ever, waiting for You to explain how to start, and Bucky well he was opening drawers, pulling out random stuff that he thought you might use. He held up a spatula with a smirk, slapping the utinsel against his palm. “How about we get this train moving kids.” 

Relenting, you turn to your phone for a recipe. “Okay fine, since you all insist. We need flour, sugar, eggs, ginger, cinnamon....” While your listing, both men are scrambling to find everything, and piling it on the counter, yourself you bring out some bowls, cookie cutters, lets face it. You needed the actual men to decorate like howling commandos. Turning on the oven to get it preheated, you search for decorations. “Steve, store run? We gotta make this accurate you know, and Buckys all dressed up for a day baking. Hate to send him." You just kinda motion lver Buckys getup, the kiss the cook stretched over his chest, the apron a size to small for him really.

Your already grabbing paper and jotting down a detailed list of food coloring, frosting, candies and such. Steve snatched the list when you held it out, he had a general idea of it all and nodded. "Dont hesitate to put Bucky to work. He just pretends to be all intimidating."

You roll your eyes and back in the kitchen theres a "Steve your a dick" retort from Bucky whos looking over the mess of ingredients piled on the counter. Steve, seemingly joyful as he grabbed keys and left, you suspect you might not see him at least another hour or two. No worries, you had the other super soldier on hand.

Heading back in you hand Bucky a bowl and eggs. "Start cracking, separating yolk from white, and no shells." You cant help but from watching him, looking a bit like a lost child, before he he starts to crack eggs and inspect for shells. You watch from the corner of your eye as you put together the dry ingredients, and start mesuring out the molasses, talking him through the rest of the buttercream frosting ingredients.

Dipping your finger in his finished product, you lick the tip of your finger, smirking at his widened eyes. Yea Steve, hes very intimidating. You maybe took a bit to much pleasure in teasing Bucky on occasion. "Mmmhh my very favorite part.... "

He cleared his throat and looked away, it might be a bit mean, but he would give it back later, this was a dance the two of you played. "Okay, what now?" He said a bit gruff and you grab your rolling pin, holding it to him.

Eyeing it a moment, his brow arched. "Ya want me to roll the dough?"

"Yea Buck, nice and thin, since you two want to make all these outer buildings as well." Pointing to Steve's sketching, And you reached in the dough and piled it on the counter on front of Bucky. "And Steve said to put you to work."

"I notice you gave Steve the easy job." He muttered as he started to flatten the dough.

"I knew you were more capable."

Bucky couldn't hide the grin at the compliment, and afterwards you both measured, cut and got the cookie sheets in the oven. Stealing part of the couch back from Sam and watching trash tv till the oven beeped. Bucky vaulted over the couch, head back into the kitchen and pulled them out of the oven.

"Are they firm?" You ask, peeking at them, a light brush of your fingers against them. The room smelled like bake gingerbread and smooth sugar. Tempting delectables to say the least.

"Yup, now what?"

"Cool and mantle your buildings." You say as You slide them off onto wire racks. "Go get the frosting, and I will show you." Already he was rummaging in the fridge to retrieve it. Peeling off the plastic cling, you pick up one of the cooler pieces and edged it with icing. Folding two pieces together. "Easy as that. You try."

Bucky took it so seriously, the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he piped that icing. His brows furrowed together in a dip right at the center. You bite back a grin and get a large dollop of icing on your finger and flick it at the man. Landing right in his face. He drops his cookie in surprise and blinks though the icing. "Fucken hell, Y/N! Whats that for?" Wiping it off, he flicks it back at you and you squeal getting hit.

That's war!

"Oh its on Barnes" smirking as you grab a cookie and crumble it, shooting it at him. Cookies fly, icing it flung, flour, and sugar is used to blind one another, you two ducked around the table, screaming and yelling insults playfully.

Bucky tried using the hose at the kitchen sink to spray you, in which you ducked and rolled right into him, the two of you collapsing in a heap on the floor among all your hard work, broken and scattered. Steve stood in the doorway, arms laden with two paper bags, his jaw hanging open at the mess. Bucky pokes you to get your attention and the two of you sit up, covered. Head to toe in frosting, flour and cookies.

"I was just gone an hour..."

"Its a long time to be left unsupervised." You shrug as you smear some frosting off your shirt and lick it off your finger, Bucky helped himself to your shirt frosting to since he had thrown half the bowl on you.

"Oh damn, thats good!" He grins.

"What about this is good?! You mean your gingerbread murder scene?!" Steve toed a dead gingerbread man with the tip of his shoe.

Bucky looked around and glared at his friend. "IT WAS HISTORICALLY ACCURATE" His voice raided to defend the mess and you promptly stuff a cookie in his mouth to shut him up.

"Come on Steve. Did the Hydra base not look like this after you two and the howling commandos were done?" You throw a cookie at him which bounced off his chest. "Eat a cookie, you feel better" next to you Bucky continued eating broken gingerbread men, grinning at his friend and nodding.

"Best damn cookies besides your mama's!" Bucky added between mouthfuls

"I just... Pick this up you two before tony throws a fit." Turning with the bags of candy he bought, passing Sam, he ditched them on the man still scrolling youtube

"You couldn't watch them for two seconds Sam?"

"And break up that little love fest? Puh-lease" Sam grinned at Steve and dug into the paper bags looking through the snacks, pulling out twizzlers.

"SCORE!"

@what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @kitkatd7 @stuckonjbbarnes @sebbbystaaan @kimisama1989 @simsadventures @that-damn-girl @imanuglywombat @jtargaryen18 @stardancerluv​ @princess-evans-addict​

[kirishwima]

RFA + minor trio (or duo, if you don’t wanna do Vand.) with an foreign MC who always keeps at least 3 knives on them at all times. And knows how to handle guns. And is overall just badass

ooo im just imagining a badass Black Widow-esque MC lol, i love it! I love even more how there's no explanation as to how or why they know how to handle guns and knives, even better 😆

YOOSUNG:

* Baby boy is SPOOKED

* MC is so sweet, gentle and patient with him...he never once thought of them as anything less than an innocent angel

* Yet one night they're lounging around at his apartment, when there's a loud thud from the other room that startles them both

* Yoosung's scared, sure, but he tries to gulp down his fear, ready to protect MC if need be-that's what a good boyfriend should do afterall!

* Well...or not, seeing how MC is already up from the couch with a knfie in each hand-where did those even come from?! Already taking cautious steps towards the door the thud came from

* They kick the door open with their leg, brandishing their knives when they check the perimeter, realising it's just a box with trinkets that fell from the edge it sat on

* Yoosung has...a lot of questions

*But well, MC turns and looks at him with their usual sweet expression and he just swallows down any comments he had. Why ask what doesn't need to be answered?

* From now on he's always cowering behind MC when something spooks him, and threatens Zen or Seven with MC when they tease him

ZEN:

* He got a new role as the villain that shoots the hero at the final scene-the director asked him to use a real gun but without any bullets inside to 'make it more realistic', or so he said

* Well, Zen has never even held a gun before; no just because he rode a motorcycle doesnt mean he was some gangster that shot up banks, like Seven insists he must've

* So when he comes home baffled, flopping down on the couch besides MC, they of course ask him what's wrong, why he's frowning the way he did.

* When he explains what's wrong, MC shrugs. 'That's all? I can teach you' they say, and shoot up from the couch, leaving Zen to stare at their retreating figure with wide eyes.

* MC...would teach him how to use a gun? Sure they were really cool and he could tell they feared near next to nothing, but guns...?

* Well, he's even more baffled when MC comes out of their bedroom with a gun in each hand, twirling them around their fingers with practices ease

* 'Come on, get up' they say and not to the backdoor, 'we're going to learn how to shoot-without bullets though, because while I love you, I don't trust you with a loaded gun just yet' they add with a teasing smirk.

* Well, Zen follows along like a wobbly noodle, his hands shaking as MC hands him a pistol, guiding him through to the correct stance and hold of it. He has so, so many questions, but none of them come out, lodged in his throat like a fish bone.

* He can't say he hates this though-the way MC stands behind him, leaning one leg between his to bend his knees, how they wrap their hands around his forearms, snaking from behind his back as they hold the gun together, MC's voice breathy beside his ear.

* "Baby...be honest with me. Are you some secret foreign spy or something?"

* MC laughs, soft and devious and like music to Zen's ears.

* "That's for me to know and for you to find out" they say with a teasing wink, their accent thicker than usual, and oh boy-if Zen has a Beast inside him, then MC has a whole darn savage garden, and he's more than eager to unleash it.

JAEHEE:

* She notices bits and pieces of MC that puzzle her; their hyper-alertness to the tiniest sound, their stance-tall, proud, always ready to pounce like an alpha predator, how they'll hide Jaehee behind them at the slightest sign of danger; Jaehee figured MC was just a very cautious person, but realises soon enough that there must be something more than that happening.

* She finds out when, one day, a group of raggedy looking men come into their cafe, the one leading the pack wearing sunglasses and a cap as if to remain anonymous, speaking loudly in a different language Jaehee couldn't quite pin-point, but figured it mist be Slavic.

* She didn't pay any mind-MC was up front as the cashier today, and Jaehee was in the back preparing drinks, so she wouldn't be the one dealing with them. She did however flash the group a smile as their attention shifted to her, swiftly going back to her work.

* She heard them mutter something amongst themselves with a sly laugh, but again, she couldn't know what they were saying, so she kept her attention still on the espresso machine, watching the beans slowly get grounded into fine dust.

* Well, MC apparently more than understood what the men said-with a thud they tugged the leader-dude's shirt by the collar, bringng him inches away from their face, their mouth forming a vicious snarl as they said something to him in a low growly voice, and surprisingly, in the same language as the men spoke.

* MC let the man go with a final push away from the counter, taking pride in the way he stumbled back, his mouth agape; he immediatly nodded to his lackies who all run right behind him and straight out the door, much to Jaehee's shock.

* "MC...what just-"

"They commented on your body. I said that you're under my protection, so they shouldn't even look your way like that again." MC supplied, and with a shrug went back to their usual customer service smile.

* Jaehee didn't ask what 'under my protection' meant for MC-she was just secretly happy for her brave, badass partner.

JUMIN:

* He's very observant-and he can see crystal clear that there’s more to MC than meets the eye.

* He loves them-of course he does, and their mystique aura makes them all the more alluring to him, from the thick accent that rolls of their tongue, to their confident strut as they walk down the street, to the knives strapped on their thighs....

* Wait. Wait wait, KNIVES?!

* He notices them the first time when they’re walking downtown with MC, their bodyguards merely a few feet behind, when some crazed fangirl ran up to the couple, screaming incoherencies at Jumin’s face.

* The bodyguards were quick to act, running straight ahead and taking the fangirl away from the pair, but Jumin’s eyes are razor sharp; he didn’t miss the way MC’s hand calmly went to the slit of their flowy summer dress, dragging the hem a little higher, the flash of metal peeking off of their thigh tight on a garter.

* He doesn’t mention it straight away, but later on, at dinner, he calmly asks if MC is currently armed, and MC nonchalantly answers ‘Yea, always’, while taking a sip of their wine.

* He hums in agreement, nodding slow as he processes their reply. “What are you armed with?”

* MC smirks, leaning closer across the table, a cat-like curiosity in their gaze. “Knives, sometimes a gun, my dashing good looks-you name it and I probably have it on my person.”

* Jumin smiles. “I’m glad you take your safety this seriously my love. It makes me feel safe to know you can protect yourself if the need arises.”

* The conversation ends at that, the pair going back to their casual conversation...but not before Jumin takes a sip of his wine, eyes fluttering shut before they open again, piercing and staring right to MC with pupils blown wide.

* “I suppose I’ll have to carefully examine just what weapons it is you have on you. For your own safety, of course.”

* And well, MC ain’t about to say no to that lmao

SEVEN/SAEYOUNG:

* Hoo boy

* He’s already curious when his background check on MC brings back pretty much nothing, except their upbringing in a foreign country, and an overall normal-seeming facebook account.

* But Seven’s not satisfied. Nobody’s background is that clean. Nobody’s. So he digs more, more, more, yet still there’s nothing, and his curiosity is peaqued, his eyes narrowed as he looks to the cameras in Rika’s apartment, seeing MC nonchalantly lounge on the couch, playing on their phone.

* “I’ll find out just what it is you’re hiding” he vows, ignoring the flush of his cheeks as MC looks up to the camera with a cheeky smile, knowing exactly what it is they’re doing.

* He finds out just what it is that interested him so in MC when he dashes to the apartment, seeing MC struggle with a man who could only be the hacker, broken glass pieces at their feet from the broken window.

* He’s about to step in, tackle the man to the ground and protect MC-only he doesn’t have to. MC takes the man down in a swift movement, using their smaller frame to the man to sneak behind him and kick his shins, tumbling him down and stradling his chest to keep him in place, despite the glass chunks that are probably digging into the hacker’s back.

* More so, they pull up their skirt, bringing a knife up from the hilt, bringing it to the man’s throat with a warning growl.

* Seven...has no idea what he’s doing there, other than just staring at the two people in front of him, not until the security system’s activated and targets the hacker, who flees without so much as a word to Seven.

* “I uh. I see you had it all under control” he says with a stutter, his eyes wide. MC stands up, wiping gunk and blood off of their cheek as they turn to Seven with a grin. “Sure did, but I could always use some extra help” they tell him and oh boy. Oh fuck his life, Seven’s hooked around this person’s sharp, bloody little finger.

* He doesn’t want to scout them into his agency, because he doesn’t want this sort of life for MC-but he will ask for their assistance with missions sometimes, konwing they can more than take care of themselves when the need arises.

* Just a badass but also memey couple really lol

V/JIHYUN:

* After his first unsuccesful attempt to save MC from Rika, he’s worried how MC will fare until he comes to their rescue, if they’ll be hurt in their attempt to escape.

* Well...whatever he was expecting, he certaintly did not expect this.

* He didn’t expect to come back to the cult, only to find MC already roundhouse kicking a vial of elixir from Ray’s hands, kicking it into the ground and pummeling straight into Ray to bring him down before he could attack her, then moving straight to the rest of the Believers, fighting 4-on-1 with so much ease it looked almost like a scene out of a video game.

* V’s lost for a moment before MC turns to him, wiping sweat off their brow as he looks on in confusion. “What the hell are you doing?” they ask, grabbing his hand as they tug him along, “we have to go! Come on!”

* Seven’s skills were pretty much unecessary in their escape lmao, but he’s still glad he tagged along to help the pair escape.

* When in the safety of the faraway cabin, and without anyone having to actually take the elixir this time, V sits dumbfounded, looking to MC like they’re some sort of vicious god.

* “How-how did you do all of that? You just-” he remembers the ease they fought men twice their size off, how they even pulled a knife on one to intimidate him before he could so much as raise a finger to hurt V. “You’re so...strong” he decides, lost for words.

* MC shrugs. “I just do a lot of upper body exercises at the gym. And TRX. It’s good strength training.”

* Honestly....V’s route flows so much easier with this badass MC by his side lol. Rika doesn’t stand a chance to hurt anyone with MC here.

RAY/SAERAN/UNKNOWN:

* Their skills were not, in fact, why he chose MC as his tester. He didn’t even really know about any of their badassery, only that they grew up in a foreign country, and could speak multiple languages, which he found interesting, sure, but unecessary.

* He was thrilled at their kind nature, but also a little aprehensive. He knows no usual person would just up and walk into a van with a driver that blindfolded them to take them to an unkown location. What secrets could MC be hiding? He wanted nothing more than to find out.

* Well, he finds out soon enough. Or rather, Saeran does-when his agressiveness kicks in, when he tries to tackle MC to the ground and hold them in place, show them he’s superior...well, he doesn’t get the chance to.

* MC frowns at him as he tries to push them to the wall, taking his hand and holding it in a bruising-tight hold, swiftly moving behind him and bringing his hand to his back, the cracking sound of his shoulder alerting him he’s most certaintly going to feel that for the next few days.

* “You don’t get to touch me as you please” MC whispers in his ear before letting him go, seeing the way he stumbles a few steps ahead before regaining his balance.

* MC is still kind and tries to help him become the kind person they met in the begining of their arrival here, but won’t take Saeran’s shit under any circumstances. Instead they fight back tooth and nail, showing him all they got when he tries to push them around.

* This also makes escaping the cult with Saeran that much easier-they fight through hoards of Believers like they were paper-light, MC even grabbing a pistol off of one of them and firing scarily precise warning shots at just the right places to scare them all off.

* Welp, mark down Saeran as scared *and* horny lmao

VANDERWOOD:

* He met MC through their escape attempt with V and Seven, and hoo boy-HOO BOY.

* He sees their agility, their swift movements and the way they handle a knife like it was but an extension of their hand, and he’s head over heels in an instant.

* He keeps trying to scout them into the agency, promising them riches, but MC laughs at his offer with a roll of their eyes, refusing every time.

* Once, when he asks MC to join, they lean close to him, bringing a finger under his chin as they tilt his face to meet theirs. “Why don’t you join me instead?” they purr, and at that moment, Vanderwood is putty under their hands.

* He’d follow this badass person to the ends of the world, agency be damned.

* He does ask them to team up with him for some missions, secretly from the agency, and is pleased with the results, noting how quickly and efficiently the two work as a team.

* They’re literally the most badass couple in existence hoooly shit lol

-Send me mystic messenger headcanons/prompts for character reactions!-

[hitoshi-shinsous-actual-archive]

hey shin, my ever so lovable and adorable sweetheart <3 i know you said i could drop an ask anytime so uhh,,, here i am i guess ajdjk

life’s kinda getting me down again and i sortaaa had another breakdown like 15 mins ago bc im just super stressed and my anxiety is just going 📈📈📈 ajdjsk;; but don’t worry, i stepped away from my laptop, took a bit of time to cry out some feelings, cleaned my glasses, get more water, charge my phone and attempting to get through my grueling geometry homework again :’)

but yeah im just worried about deadlines and my stupid ear thing next week and im sorta having beef with a friend rn and i’m scared i’m never gonna find an outfit for graduation since everything I did want was either shut down or didn’t have my size and i have to get a new phone case bc my current one is literally falling apart but I’m too scared to ask and sigh. tldr;; there’s just sooo much to do and i just want everything to stop :’)

i said i’m not used to asking for help and i really didn’t want to bother you or anything or seem needy and shit but,,,, why not go to things that make me happy instead of drowning myself in stress and sadness yeah? <3 btw,,, this came into my autoplay randomly today and i was all like “aKDJSKD ‘toshi’s gonna LOVE tHis ajsjk <3“ which also caused me to daydream about said stargazing road trip thing again but shhh sjdjsk

i really really really hope i didn’t bother you and i hope you (and mod <3) are doing a whole lot better than i am sjdjk,,, i love you okay? mwah <33

- 🧋

oh.. you, like, showered me with so many compliments just then... i, uh, can’t tell if i want to- to soak in that attention or get all shy...

another breakdown? anxiety’s acting up? god, i’m sorry for all of that. would it be okay if i gave you a hug? though i am glad- and proud- that you took some time to care for yourself. i say it ironically but i really do mean it: you go, girl.

but yeah, all of that does sound stressful, right now... i’d say take your time with whatever those deadlines are for, but ah, i also realize time is going by... way too fast. so, instead... pace yourself? but perhaps not too much that you don’t get to finish your work. just remember that after this school year ends, you should get a whole summer where you don’t have to worry about anything like school. about that graduation outfit- if you’re worried about being impressive, i don’t think you quite have to stress that: i feel like you’d look impressive in... pretty much anything. even pajamas!- though, another thought is to maybe look online? i know a lot of stores have websites where you can order their clothes to be delivered to your house. maybe talk to your dad and see if you like anything, and if it can be delivered on time? for my own sort of tldr; i feel for you and i hope that all of this stress is alleviated.

but, hey, you aren’t bothering. and i don’t think you’re needy(even if i did, i... wouldn’t quite mind.) also. you picking your happiness first! that’s character development if i’ve ever seen it! also, like, really cool of you. extremely cool. you were already amazingly cool, but knowing your happiness and choosing to lighten your mood rather than do things that potentially stress you out? i’m being serious when i say that that’s an amazing trait. i think i’m in adoration. not to mention, you have the best taste in music. you were right in knowing i’d really like it... thank you, always <3 right, the stargazing roadtrip... you’re filling me with so many ideas, riri.

you don’t bother me(us). also i’m(we’re) doing pretty good too... simultaneously better and worse though, if that makes sense? since i(we) get to talk to you, but at the same time i(we, once again-)’ve learned that today’s been stressful for you, too... m-....mwah <3

by the way, i’m sorry i kind of disappeared on you with that last ask. and that i haven’t been that active since then. don’t go saying “it’s okay” or anything though, because;;; because my reason for doing so is not a good one- and i should’ve really answered sooner. so, ah, take my apology and take my hugs(if you’re comfy with those right now), okay? also, rereading all that... sorry. way long answer. that i did not need to put your eyes through-

[thewolfisapartofmysoul]

Hey lovelies.

Got you a Dewey x reader fic.

Reader coming out as ace (asexual) while Dewey is playing the guitar and the reader lounging on his lap. Fluff and angst ahead. All aboard! Fair warning... its quite long...

Hope you enjoy. 💜

..................................................................................

Safe

You and Dewey had been friends since kindergarten. You were as thick as thieves. Being able too see your best friend everyday since you two were roommates only made things better.

Dewey was a incredibly bouncy, happy person. That much you guys had in common. You both were as enthausiastic as you were chaotic sometimes. And when you were having one of 'these' days... the ones when you just woke up grumpy, you could find comfort in the small things in each other. He would give you one single look and knew what kind of day it was. It was on these days that Dewey proved himself being the man, the myth and the legend you believed he was. He would make sure your favorite tea was ready in the morning, with just the right amount of honey in it. And he would do anything to crack your mood up during the day. Including some 'sick' dance moves on random moments, and playing requests you had on his guitar always calmed your mind. In return you knew that playing guitar hero cleared his clouded mind, and spontaneous dance parties always made him smile.

Long story short, you'd be there for each other.

.......

The thing was that lately you came to realise that some things were different for you then they were for him.

You always pictured yourself with a partner as loving and caring as Dewey was. You just KNEW he was your favorite person in the world. It was just... difficult. The whole situation had been difficult. There had to be a person in this universe who wanted to know what made you tick. Besides Dewey. Right?

That was a question your head had been occupied with the last couple of months.

Of course you noticed Dewey going out. On dates. With actual girls.

He wasnt the most popular guy you knew, but damn... he had some charm in that authentic and warm personality he had. He also was kinda cute, you had to admit. But you were 101% cool with him dating. Even helping him pick out outfits and scolding him for forgetting garlic on date-night is a no-go. And when he wouldnt come home at night you would smile to yourself, because you was happy for the dude.

So why werent you out there? Dating? Again? You tried. Hell... you tried so SO hard to actually like people.

Liking wasnt the right word. Cause liking people wasnt that difficult. You could love the personalities of people in a heartbeat. Loved the way they laughed, or the freckles on their face, or the way they sat. You'd loved the way they talked about what drove them, what they were passionate about. You loved so many people. Yet you loved no-one.

You came to realise lately that you were kind of different. For instance: Dewey could swoon over a girl he saw for one second. One moment he was chilling with u at your local bar, the next moment you saw that sparkle in his eyes... And with a wink, a pat on your shoulder and a VERY bad attempt to moonwalk away from you, you knew you didnt had to wait up for him.

That was fine. Never bothered you actually. It was a signal you guys had created. Dewey also knew that when u werent in the mood or okay with leaving alone, you would put on a pouty face. That would be his que to get the random-chick's number, promising to call her, before excusing himself to her and drop back on the barstool beside you.

You liked it that way. He was free to go. As were you. He was your buddy. Your parnter in crime. That was the way it was.

You were just frustrated with yourself the last couple of months.

You could look at a man or a woman and be like: jeez, you are pretty. Look at that adorable face!

You would walk up there, talk to them. Now... that wasnt the hard part. The hard part came after that.

When you talked to someone, wether it be a beautifull quirky women or a handsome kind lad... there always came that moment that they would give a 'certain' comment. Or a glance up and down. Or let their hands wander little bit... and the magic would be gone for you.

Totally gone. Your mind would just go: 'nope'. You would find their smile attractive. But when everyone else's knees would give up at their bedroom eyes they gave you, and them saying something like: "you look like i could eat ya, wanna get out of here?" you would just feel nothing. Besides of getting noxious at the idea of them looking at you that way...

.......

Dewey noticed you getting more silent as you internly struggled with this a while. After 'just' men, you started some online research and tried something new. There was a period u had labeled youself as bisexual. But the label just didn't fit right. You tried the word: 'lesbian' for a month or 3.

Dewey had again proven to be an actual legend, after you told him you might not be straight. He was so pumped for you, buzzing with excitement and acceptance when you told him. He bounced up and down on the couch and offered to go to gay-bars together. You even had to keep him from hanging the actual rainbow-flag out of the window, to support you. Dewey suspected you had just been a late bloomer, so he was more then excited when you seemed to make some steps into the date-world, and wanted to make sure he helped you out were he could.

But that wasnt it either. Being bisexual or lesbian was not what made you you as well.

You had been desperately looking for a label to fit you but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

........

Dewey would notice your online research by accident. He got up from his jamming session at the couch and ruffled a hand tiredly throw his brown locks. You was on a date. With... amy? Agnes? He couldnt quite remember. He chuckled, while opening your computer, hoping you'd been having fun.

He was looking on an article about ACDC he came across a while ago, when the google question popped up in the browser history. He frowed, but clicked anyway. "I dont feel sexual attraction towards people. What's wrong with me?"

A pang of guilt creeped through his chest. Did he totally miss all that? Y/n had fun with people in bars right? She was on a date right this moment... with... Anne, or whats her name again?

Dewey poundered, he would always see you laughing and having fun while chatting to strangers. 'God... you was so likeable it was super-easy for you to make new friends.' But after he put some more thought to it, he couldnt quite remember the last time y/n talked about having a crush. Or kissing someone. She didnt even talked about her date today enough for him to be able to remember her name. He felt a bit sad about it but Dewey had to find out what you were feeling, so he clicked through the rest of the history page.

.......

You actually tried to kiss Alma today, you'd been seeing her for a while... You two had a lot in common and you liked the way she practically buzzed with excitement when she talked about mountainbiking, smiling as she did so.

'it only seemed like the right thing to do' you forced yourself to think that... 'Alma deserved that much, right? She'd been so kind to me...'

After your date Alma reached out to softly grab you by your hip, pulling you towards her. 'Well... here goes nothing...' you thought as she brought her mouth closer to you.

But right when your lips were about to meet, it felt wrong. A panic rose in your chest and before you knew what happened you turned your head slightly and kissed her cheeck. You was infuriated with yourself. 'How could you! After date #3. Were you mad? What was wrong with you?!'

The girl in question seemed just as baffled as you. She smiled a sad smile to you, before giving you a side-hug and catching her train to go home.

You sighed, dropped your shoulders as you slumped home. 'Side-hugs are not good. They're not 'relationship-material', you fool." You wanted so bad to be 'normal...'

.......

By the time you was done walking home you reached a new low-piont in your self-esteem. Thats when you noticed u had a missed call. Dewey. You sighed. He had been SO happy for you to be dating. Enthausiastically helping you with your outfit and even what kind of perfume you should wear. You were not only a dissapiontment for yourself... but for Dewey as well.

You quickly wiped away a tear. Damn this. Damn this shit. Damn this day. You just didnt felt it. Again.

All you wanted to do was to jump into a hot shower, eat some pizza on the couch and lounge on the couch, revel in the safe comfort of Dewey.

You were not dissapionted by the smell of your favorite pizza already stalking towards you on the way to your front door. You smiled a bit at that.

Dewey had seen you crying through the window of your apartment and already planned to do something special for you, since you had such a hard time lately and he had been too oblivious too see it. So he decided to make you your favorite pizza, and just be there for you when your date didnt worked out.

You opened the door and was greeted by a dancing Dewey in his boxershorts and old band t-shirt. He was smiling at you while hopping of the cough while The Pretender of the Foo Fighters blasted through your appartement. He headbanged towards the speakers and you managed to get out a small snort. Your neighbours had to hate you guys.

Wiping your nose you tried to smile at him. But failed miserably. You stood in the middle of the living room feeling small and stupid. Your lip was quivering and you wanted to wipe the tear away that was spilling down your cheeck.

All in that moment Dewey was by your side, wiping away the tear that you inteded to brush away yourself.

You smiled sadly at him, through your tears and sobs. And you heard him mumble your name while pulling you into his arms. "Its okay love. You're okay. Im so proud of you." He started petting your head softly with his calloused fingers and holding you close. He knew this was a big step for you, and didnt asked any questions about your breakdown. Or date. He wanted you to tell him when you were ready. Untill then there were no words needed.

You got out of his loving embrace when you heard something beeping in the distance. "Dew! The pizza!" You smacked his arm and while muttering a "fuck" under his breath, he took a dive towards the oven.

He smiled a lopsided smile to you while striking a ridiculous pose, using the towel in his hands as a cape. He sing song: "i am the pizza heroooooo and i present you your favorite pizza, mylady...." You couldnt help but cackle at that. "Your a weirdo Dew... but thanx pizza-king."

.......

You two ate on the couch after you took a shower and dressed in your favorite sweats.

After Dewey had put away the dishes he dropped on the couch with you and grabbed his guitar. You went to lie with your head on his lap while he was tuning the strings. You listened to him fumbling with some wires and relaxed at the familiar sound and the rise of his chest above you. He played some chords untill there was a rythem in them and you felt your clouded mind become clearer.

You were relaxing against him when you heard him mumble your name... "hey y/n, wanna hear anything particular?" You shaked your head no.

He hummed in response, playing the tune of your favorite song anyway.

Dewey softly started singing:

"And i don't want the world to see me.

Cause i don't think that they'll understand.

When everything is made to be broken.

I just want you to know who i am...."

You felt the tears behind your eyes prickling. With a soft poke in his chest you whispered with all the courage you had left: "...Dew... Dewey..."

"Hmmm...sweetheart, whats up?" He replied softly.

You sighed, rubbing your hand against your forehead, gathering some more courage. You muttered: "I ehm.... I think I need to tell you something Dew..."

He went to put his guitar away. Shifting slightly so you was lying with your head on his lap, and he could look you right in the eye from how he was sitting. He grabbed your hand ,that out of stress had been clutching your own sweater, and placed his hand around yours. Squeezing lightly in encouragement. He smiled at you. It was an understanding smile, full of love and patience. You could cry at that alone. But swallowed your tears away, there had been anough crying today you decided.

Dewey saw you swallow hard and brought your clutched hands to his mouth and kissed them. "You can tell me anyting babe. You know that right?" You hummed in response.

Knowing you could trust him but also feeling incredibly scared and anxious... you stuttered: "Dew... i think... there is a reason i dont... i think i might be..." he squeezed your hand one more time.

You took that as an encouragement and mumbled the words that were nagging you for the past few months, your nerves barely made your voice louder then a whisper: "I think... ehm... I might be asexual Dewey..."

You felt like you could throw up. Or cry. Or both. You actually were about to bolt and do just that, untill you heard a familiar voice bringing u back to the present moment.

"... y/n... love... youknow..."

You coulndnt even hear full scentences of what Dewey was saying. His voice fading away, your nerves making it hard to fucus. He noticed your absence and your shallowing breathing, your breaths becoming faster and shorter with each one you took in. You couldnt even look at him while saying that. You were a pathetic coward... and now he would finally see you for the freak and the outcast you were. He would be disgusted and think you were a robot and leave you... You took another shaking breath...

A feeling brought you out of your shallow breathing. You noticed familliar calloused fingers glide through your hair. Combing through it and massaging your scalp softly. A smile appeared on your face, his movement was slowly getting the darkness outof your head. Finally you dared to look up towards Dewey. He was softly humming to you. His voice always calmed you, definetly right in this moment. His humming grounded you, while he was softly playing with your hair. You felt his other thumb circle softly on your hand he was still holding.

He smiled a soft smile at you, whisperening: "Hey... your back with me princess?" You nodded slowly. Tears spilling on your cheeks once again. "y/n, sweetheart, i love you the way you are. Always did, and always will. You are you. And if that is being asexual, then that's totally okay and i will be here for you. Every step of the way. Im so proud of you..."

He wiped away your tears, and while you choked out a "thank you Dewey", he kissed you on your forehead.

"Im so proud of you coming to terms with yourself. You dont have to do anything you dont want, okay? Dont ever feel obligated to date anyone just to feel 'normal'. You are you, y/n. And you are enough."

You smiled at that and yawned. The emotions of today suddenly making you very tired. "Dew..." you mumbled sleepy.

"Yeah...?"

"You may do the head-massage more often... it feels nice"

He chuckled at that, pinching your nose playfully. "Thats a deal... now off to bed with you, miss platonic."

You chuckled sleepily. Admire-ing his bad jokes even at this time and moment.

"Thanx Dewey..."

"Anytime babe..." he awnsered.

You stood up, your head and body suddenly heavy with sleep. Your mind drifted for a moment, but came back to the presence of Dewey sofly poking your side. You giggled, he knew you were ticklish there, and you swatted his hand away when he tried to do it a second time. He chuckled at that, glad he made you laugh again.

You looked at the floor. Anxiety bubbling in your chest at the nagging question in your head. Could you ask him this? After all that just happened? Would he still take you serious if you did? It wasn't sexual but still as intimate as you could be, and you didn't want to seem like you weren't serious. Since... well... people... sometimes mistook cuddles for sex. You still felt anxcious and conflicted, but didn't want to sleep alone. You took a big breath, looking a bit tired and sleepy up at him. Heart thumping nervously in your chest as your hands started to sweat. You glanced at his face and when you saw a half smile creeping up his face you knew you could ask him anything.

"Dew.... would you..." you had to stop because a yawn was bugging you. You continued after wiping your face sleepily, still anxious: "would you mind sleeping with me tonight? I... just... really dont wanna be alone right now. I need some cuddles." You confessed, biting your lip as you waited for his response. Anxiety slowly spreading in your chest as you waited at his awnser.

Instead of awnsering with words Dewey got up from the couch and pulled you into a big hug, once again petting your hair while holding you tight. You sighed and felt the tension leaving your body as he held you. "Of course..." he mumbled sofly in the crook of your neck. You took a big breath through your nose, nerves calming as you were surrounded by the familiar smell of Dewey. A familiar smell of tea-tree-oil, a bit of sweat and a hint of pizza from your dinner. His body was warm and his stubble tickled your neck as he held you close. You felt safe in his arms, and less troubled. Your mind cleared with every breath you felt him take in as the two stood there together. His hands seemed to wipe every anxious, stressed thought you had away. His calloused fingers still combing trough your hair affectionately. You sighed back at him, relaxed by his caring touch: "Thanx Dew...."

......

When you lay in your bed, later that night you fell asleep quite quickly. You knew you wouldnt be alone. Dewey snored a little in his sleep, and you couldnt help but smile. Feeling safe in his strong arms as he hugged you in his sleep, you felt his calm breath on your neck. The last thing you thought before drifting off was: 'Its gonna be fine. Im gonna be okay. Dewey is with me. Whatever i happen to like or not like, feel or not feel...

Dewey is here. Right by my side.'

Tagging: @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @hoodoo12 @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @thats-specific @vicunaburger @ironmansuucks @bugdrinkss @go-commander-kim @stranger-strings

[tcthetouch]

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔, 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓊𝓃𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝑒. 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒.

『 jamie lee curtis. sixty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that JUDITH MILLER from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -CYNICAL & -SELFISH. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool “RETIRED” ACTRESS  and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +MAGNETIC & +WITTY. i hope i see them around again! 『 may. 21. est. she/her. 』

hello my pals ! after a very long day, i am finally here with an intro for a sexy lowkey demon !

BACKGROUND:

triggers: emotional abuse, brief mention of war, brief mention of considered abortion, substance abuse, brief implication of child neglect, brief mentions of death (but like.... from old age)

So… I’m currently too tired to do the ‘whole chart,’ but… a Sagittarius. Know this.

Now, to understand our dear Judith, you must first understand her parents. Her mother was a wealthy young woman, progressive in her views on social issues… for the time. Nonetheless, she was expected to hold up the standards of the time. Her father was the younger brother of a man deemed ‘a great soldier’ who died fighting in WWII. Followed by the memory of him and his own parents’ obsession with the man, he placed pressure on himself to live up to that standard. Shame there was no war………………….

They met at Judith’s mother’s debutante ball and hit it off. It was, what they perceived to be, a match made in heaven. But that’s always easy to say – it’s harder to prove when a good night culminates in an unexpected pregnancy. To avoid any public scandal on her part, Judith’s mother and father married before she began showing and moved to Mapleview where she would become an excellent mother and he would live up to his brother’s standards by… he was still figuring it out… maybe making the next great scientific advancement? or writing the next great American novel?

Sadly, in spite of her lifetime’s worth of training, Judith’s mother… proved to lack natural maternal instinct. Perhaps it was passed down from her own mother, transgenerational trauma beginning long, long, long ago. Judith’s father was so consumed with his grand ideas that he hadn’t the time to help! Between becoming the next Walt Whitman one day and the next Albert Einstein the next, all while working for his father-in-law, he just didn’t have any time at all!

Their marriage grew strained and, as Judith grew, they made it even clearer that she was the cause. If she, herself, didn’t do something spectacular with her life, then it was all for nothing!

Her father wasn’t forced into the Vietnam War as a part of the drafting lottery. No, as it grew bigger, as the army grew more desperate, as she began slowly maturing, as his marriage continued falling apart, he voluntarily entered in 1965, when Judith was seven. Before drafting even began!

Before he entered the war, Judith was the victim of plenty of degrading remarks and the occasional Unusually Odd Punishment (think bojack horseman w like beatrice seeing ~7y/o bojack take a cigarette and forcing him to smoke all of it bc he couldn’t waste a perfectly good cigarette!). However, the remarks grew more biting after he left for “the war effort.” The two moved back to California, her mother’s birthplace, to be closer to her mother’s father – an even better source of income when his sympathies were being played on.

...but it was suddenly back-to-work, no-sympathies-for-you when the war ended and Judith’s father was still alive… and, furthermore, when the war was lost. 

With her parents’ marriage worse off than ever, Judith’s unconscious attempts to please them and live up to their expectations began sooner than they would have had the war been won. Or had her father been shot. 

Probably.

Commercials began at seventeen, but they weren’t impressive. Minor roles began at eighteen, but they weren’t impressive. It wasn’t until she was picked up by an actual agent at twenty that she began actually shining, so to speak. 

Which is actually a great accidental pun on my part, as her first big role was, much like JLC’s, in one of the first slasher movies ever made. Hoorah! But it still wasn’t impressive. It wasn’t big or prestigious, Katharine Hepburn wouldn’t have taken the role. 

But what was even less impressive? 

The pregnancy that followed shortly thereafter. 

Her first thought was to find a doctor who ‘specialized’ in such ‘inconveniences.’ Between the knowledge that a lack of maternal instinct ran in her blood, all women in her lineage getting mistreated to the point that they were simply unfit, as well as the knowledge that she would have to immediately quit the career that had just begun if she wanted to raise the child… 

But the father wound up being a hurdle. He was meant to be a one-night-stand, but he started showing up… again… and again… and again… until she relented and confessed to him that she was pregnant with his child (so she assumed, at least). He was insistent that she keep it… so the compromise became she wouldn’t abort it, but she would immediately hand it off to the man to raise on his own.

Daniel, named by his father, was born. Judith kept in occasional contact, but ultimately tried to leave that chapter behind her.

After that small bump in the road, her agent began lining up more career offers for her. They ranged from OK-I-guess to Not-Katharine-Hepburn-But-Close-Enough. So she clearly went for the latter ones!

Now, for someone who tried to stay clear-headed enough… it became pretty hard as she grew more popular, was invited to more parties, and… given the decade, was surrounded by cocaine! Thus began some more god-awful decisions, a list so long even Leo Tolstoy would put it down before he could finish reading it.

A few years through her increasingly successful career and she found out that she’s gotten pregnant yet again, this time being the result of a one-night-stand had during a borderline bender. For a few days, she obviously considered abortion again. But… how good would it be for her image if she cleaned up and had the baby… and, who knows! maybe she would break the chain of terrible mothers! if she was willing to sacrifice hedonism, then she was clearly doing something right! and… she also felt some remorse for barely keeping in contact with Daniel… so hoorah! replacement!

Turns out she also didn’t have that mothering instinct :\

But it was not, at all, for lack of trying. She never intentionally mistreated her child, Mia (named for Mia Farrow) – she had family days with her and hung out with her and… tried to figure out how to bond with her. She was never cruel like her mother or her mother’s mother or mother’s mother’s mother, so on and so forth and what have you, but… she was Innocently Insensitive. Still caught up in The Scene, there were some nights that were… very loud when she forgot Mia was trying to sleep and invited a bunch of people over. 

Some hedonistic tendencies returned and she found herself allowing a nanny to care for the child more and more often. Never malicious, never cruel, even asked Danny Devito to be Mia’s godfather… but still wound up being a really bad mom.

When Mia moved out, she was beginning to realize she was too old to continue going down the road she was on – to continue making the same mistakes over and over. One child was college-aged, the other was… somewhat older, although she’d lost track of the years. Yeah, she sent birthday cards and made calls every year, but time had just begun blurring together…

As a side-note, this was also around the time she was encouraged to write a memoir. She wound up having to get a memoirist which is a wc!!

The “best thing possible” happened when her mother died a year ago. Her father had already passed, but that was in Fresno – a quick trip. Her mother died in Mapleview, where her roots were laid. Also pls picture her eulogy for her mother like the eulogy in “Free Churro.” Anyway...

So what did Judith do?

Up and disappeared! 

It would’ve been a really excellent publicity stunt… if she’d ever returned. 

She likes to pretend she’ll never return to Los Angeles. The mountain air is so clean and crisp, life is so much simpler, people are so much less… corrupt.

Alas… somewhere in the back of her mind, has many plans to return to her old life. But she needs to make amends first, right?

TL;DR:

(tread lightly if any triggers under ‘backstory’ are triggers for you!)

born in mapleview. parents were awful but also it was a case of transgenerational trauma so there are nuances there. father “abandoned” her and her mom to go fight in the vietnam war bc he wasn’t able to fight in wwii like his brother. came back and joined them in fresno and judith’s mom was like “well u guys lost.... cant say it was unexpected with someone like u fighting :\” judith was like “well i’ve learned i’m what ruined their marriage even tho i’m also the reason they got married so guess i’ll go make something of myself bc i want them to be proud.” eventually got cast in a halloween-esque movie, because of course. got pregnant, yeet’d it to the father, “it” being daniel. became a class-a hedonist. got pregnant again, but got clean and kept her, named her “mia”. was a pretty good mom for a while, then forgot that kids weren’t “used” to the 1980s/90s equivalent of modern-day raves. mia left for college. judith was like “wait,,, im too old 2 keep living this life omg.” mom died a year ago. was like “oh wow perfect excuse to come back to mapleview and pretend i never lived in los angeles ever in my entire life goodbye all ties and connections!!!”

PERSONALITY/MISC.:

spent the majority of her life trying to live up to the expectations set by her mom when she basically said “you better be something great to make up for being alive” + trying to unconsciously make up for ‘ruining’ her parents’ marriage.

ngl family took inspiration from the sugarman-horseman family in bojack horseman bc i just finished rewatching it and :\ i miss it :\ which, in turn, means there’s a tiny bit of muse inspo from the eponymous, but,,,,,,,, like she may not be a good person,,,,,,, but if u’ve so much as seen up to s2e11,,,,, she aint THAT bad.

further basis was fictional director kelsey jannings (of such fame as “women who love women who love recycling”) when she said that celebrities tend to stagnate at the age they got famous. and judith got famous when she was 20.

I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO MAKE IT EXCESSIVELY CLEAR THAT SHE NEVER HAD MALICIOUS INTENTS TOWARDS HER CHILDREN. she just knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother with daniel - it was terrible timing and she genuinely worried about how she would be as a mother ( considering how poor maternal instincts were... basically passed down through generations ) - and she didn’t know how to connect with mia, especially as an addict in the hollywood machine that was literally filled with drugs, thus proving her hypothesis that she would be a poor mother correct. like... I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THERE WAS NO ABUSE INVOLVED. SHE AT LEAST DID BETTER THAN HER MOTHER WITH THAT ASPECT.

but, as marina once said, “[she’s] now becoming [her] own self-fulfilled prophecy. oh, oh no! oh no! oh no!”

saddie disguised as a baddie.

also spent the majority of her life as an absolute hedonist. remains one, but is currently clean and trying to remain that way... maybe...

wants to be good so very bad, but doesn’t know how to be.

in spite of said hedonistic and escapist tendencies, she does have a very strong work-ethic. you know. thanks to both her parents + her capricorn moon.

no way to avoid saying she’s selfish, though. no way to.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

** all are open to any gender

her other child (a wc on the main!)

her memoirist (a wc on the main!)

her childhood friend from when she was still living in mapleview (a wc on the main!)

some fans! idk!

arm candy. pls. she’s bi so. they can be a himbo or a herbo or a thembo. 

you see she’s decently older than all of the characters so i feel like most of this will rely on brainstorming and/or chemistry in threads

FEEL FREE TO EITHER LIKE THIS OR HMU 2 PLOT!!