#but im gonna make it a lot more ugly than a few red lines and pinker skin ok

[sakebytheriver]

What would y'all say if I made Hetty's wound like 10times more graphic in my fic than in the show 😭😭

[inbetweenhours]

Because I am obsessed with this one line from Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil and will continue to reuse it in artwork I of course had this though for using it in comparison to the twins of Rivendell, Scott and Xornoth. As I though more about the piece it evolved into a study of the cycle of corruption and hate between brothers within Rivendell’s leadership. This fight that was born in Rivendells foundation and which died only with the kingdom itself.

Doing this I managed to put a lot more thought into my actual ideas about how the majorly slumbering pantheon that the Stag Gods herald from operates its history especially. I revisited my concepts of Alinar and Cohnel, and I made sure to keep in mind the key differences in all the brothers relationships, as well as how the corruption and championship affected them. 

Below the cut im gonna ramble about the lore both canon and MOSTLY my won fanon that provides background to this piece and how it came together in my head :]

I am going to go through each set of brothers and describe their history. From their conception, to their finality, in the context of being a pair. 

The Stag Gods are unique in their conception. For the sake of ages they are affectively twins. The pantheon they hail from was born in the time after the titans fell. As Pixlriffs describes in his opening to season 2, mighty titans once roamed the earn and when they fell their bodies became the lands that empires now rise and fall on today.  The era of gods that Exor and Aeor were conceptualized in were some of the first creatures to evolve to inhabit the lands that these titans bodies became. The first stags, the first serpents, the first flora. The first seasons, of winter, to spring, and summer. Wilderness was born and from it rose divinity in its first era. That of the Stag gods.

When Aeor and Exor were young fawns they were nothing more than animal. Young and reckless, exploratory as they took on their responsibilities. Bringing order and chaos, winter and summer. A cycle  ever chasing one another. They were so different, but they were brothers. They could not be without the other, as is their cyclical nature.

They are affectively the same age. And they grew up in a time where they and the other gods were the only sentient life around. They are neither benevolent nor malevolent gods. No deity is, because those are mortal terms. Their understanding of mortality is comparable to human understanding of ants. They work, and they have built great things have systems. But everything looks so simple from the gods view. 

The gods take care of mortality in the same way a man may take care of his dog. The dog is loyal and loved and cared for, but it is still only a dog. When the corruption first rose it ugly red shades across the land the gods grew weary. It threatened their precious pets, destroying mortalities hard work and making them ill and crazed. So the pantheon banded together and supposedly defeated The Corruption. It took the full strength of most, and so most of the pantheon fell into slumber. The Stag Gods among the few who continued to stand.

The brother stags founded Rivendell high in the mountains, a place to protect and watch over the mortals they personally  had found preference in, the elven civilization. For a long time the elves worshiped both stags, but as time went on a preference for Aeor and his orderly ways grew. Exor grew jealous, and emboldened by the last remnant of The Corruption which has laid in wait for it time to rise again, he acted out. And as more and more conflict grew between the brother stags, the corruption took its hold in Exor, turning him cruel and greedy, and in turn twisting up all the gods followers as well.

We all know how this story ends. Aeor and his brother fight, divided finally, futile, by The Corruption, and Exor alongside his followers are banished to the mountain peaks to waste away in the caves.

Alinar and Cohnel are the next of the brothers. They are third generation Rivendells citizens. Alinar is older than Cohnel, by some years. They come from a comfortable family, nothing so noble, as the country  flourishes around them. They play together in the streets, Alinar leaning Cohnel by the hand too keep him from running off. The play in the snow and as thy grow older  dare to hike further and further into snowy peaks. Till one day they would discover the ruins of where Exors fanatics were one sealed away. 

Alinar would urge them to leave, taking Cohnel home. Enough warning in old tales told as bedtime stories enough to ward him away. But not Cohnel. Ever cursed with youthful curiosity he would return alone. And he would not be seem for many months. Declared missing Alinar would mourn, grow, and push himself to help others where he could not his brother. He would join the council leading Rivendell, where he would be in a position to see the rampant increase of missing persons. The unease and fear it drew throughout their kingdom.

And  under oath to protect the people Alinar would set out, meet his brother again on the battlefield. Now corrupted from his once boyish youth Cohnel is nothing of the baby brother Alinar once guided. Still, the boy has their mothers nose, and the same eyes. Alinar is weak in one moment and decides he cannot kill his baby brother. But he is a member of the council and a hero of the people. Aeor gives him help, guides him as his champion and  brings him to the conclusion of a banishment spell. So he does just that, never to see his brother again, and goes on to become the champion of Rivendell. Heralded as its first king.

The final set of brothers are best known I presume. Scott and Xornoth, twins of Rivendells monarchy. Xornoth is older, and that is important to me as I often debate giving them a real age gap but I will stick with the twins lore for now. Descendants of Alinar. As members of the monarchy these brothers lives are different to the others. They found more solace in one another as refuge from responsibility and ridicule from their parents. 

Both princes grew well educated, and with that they knew even more of their history than perhaps the general public were privy. Their ancestry, and that of the gods more available. Both were devout in their academics and their religion, as they were brought up to be. However a key difference was Xornoths ability to push boundaries, push questions. Always a thirst for more, more more- especially in the way of knowledge. They drudged up arguments with mere curiosity and while Scott entertained his brothers thoughts, he was much more well behaved. Not risking mentors or parents good temperament for answers when he could easily keep his mouth shut. 

Still, he encouraged Xornoth’s curiosity, even as it grew more fascinated with more forbidden insight. More curious to Exors scorned history. With so much historical documentation of devotion to Exor destroyed out of fear a long, long time ago Xornoth only grew more despertaly curious. And when they found note of old banished groups of ollowers in the mountains he pleaded with Scott for a coverup. 

Scott allowed it, the two sneaking away and Xornoth returning with an ancient tomb. Obsessive was what Xornoth was turning into, red glint in their sharp eyes growing more by the day till finally  something gave. Where there was once passive irritation and distain Xornoth grew quick to anger and  violence. Till finally the ysnapped, and in a late, fitful arguement with their parents they killed them both.

Scott had not an idea what happened. Not until he awoke the next morning to maids screams. His parents dead, and his brother gone- nothing more than a banishment sigil burned into their bedroom floor as indication to where they had went. Scott would be coronated, and with his kingship he only became more devout to Aeor. 

Scott believed his brother dead, and moved on for over a decade till the events of season one as we know it. Xornoths return, the understanding of what had happened to them. Being championed, and capturing his brother. Hoping dearly to find a way to undo Exors influence. Till finally out of time the two battle on Rivendell peaks, overrun with corruption.

Scott decides to be selfless, killing himself on the rune blade. and As he bleeds out Aeors presence withdrawals from him. As Aeor withdrawals, so does Exor. Until it is only Scott, delirious with bloodloss and pain. Until it is only Xornoth, finally in their right mind after decades of corruption and divinity puppeteering them. And they see their little brother, and know they had failed to protect him from themselves when they ran away. There is nothing left to be done as Xornoth moves to hold Scott in their last moments. Offering the smallest comfort as death takes them both by virtue of their connection.

The cycle of brother, loved and corrupted, which started in the seeds of their kingdoms foundation and that has withered with its end. It is all finally over.

[katsukisbimbo]

DDAENG

✯ pairing: hawks x reader

✯ genre: FLUFFYYDS!!

✯ summary: fan! hawks meeting his newly debuted idol crush y/n at a fansign!

✯wordcount: 2.1k+

✯warning: just swearing and hawks being thirsty <3

✯ note: this literallt came to me because i was trying to turn @hoodtoshi into a bts stan (lowkey succeeded) and i was jus like yea, thirsty hawks

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛--ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛--ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥

- you were nervous

- this was your first fan meet after all,, but you were still nervous

- you were only 19 and had already debuted!!

- that didn’t happen to just anyone!!

- you worked super hard to get to where you are today!! everyone knew that!!

- you sighed as your make-up artist continued to paint your lips a dark red colour

- you honestly didn’t look like yourself, but this was to keep up the whole idol image i guess

- “jinhee, how many people are outside? i’m sure only two people came to see me..” you pouted, resulting in your make-up artist to smack your cheek lightly

- “dOn’t say that you dummy! i’m sure a lot of people came to see you!” she scolded, wiping off the excess makeup on a towel

- “now get out, you’re done”

- “i don’t wanna”

- she raised a newspaper and flexed, ready to beat the fuck out of you if she heard another whisper of self-deprecation from you

- “fine! i’m going!” you grumbled, pouting at oncoming soreness of your feet from your heels

- why did idols have to wear heels anyway?

- okay no, you knew why, but sTill!! they sucked!

- you smiled as you saw the buffet table

- one little snack wouldn’t hurt

- >:)

- “keigo stop fuckign puSHING”

- “im so EXCITED!! i’m meeting THE y/n you SLUTBAG!!” keigo yelled as he shook his companion

- dabi sometimes questioned why he was still friends with keigo

- “i SEE that you asshole”

- keigo took this opportunity to punch dabi in the arm, causing dabi to retaliate, causing kEigo to retaliate, causing dAb-

- okay so

- “i’ve been in love with her ever since she debuted!! and she debuted ALONE!! a whole solo artist!! the talent!! the beauty!! i’m in love!!”

- dabi raised a brow at his friend

- “didn’t you tweet about wanting to ‘put a baby inside of her’?”

- keigo felt his cheeks heat up at the possibility of you seeing his indecent tweets about you

- what if you had seen? what if you think he’s a creep? what if you already hated him??

- keigo felt his anxiety creep onto his shoulders as he continued to overthink, not realizing that they were already next to go in

- ruh roh raggy

- keigo didn’t know anything BUT anxiety

- rip keigo we’ll miss you big daddy :,(

- “please come in, please don’t shout”

- whO was shouting?? nobody was shouting

- keigo wasn’t gonna shout

- as keigo was about to shout, he felt himself be silenced by his partner

- all keigo could feel was betrayal

- “calm down you hot dog, you’re going to TALK to her in person jfc. you can tell her how much you want to father her children then”

- it was almost time and you were STILL at the food table

- you saw a small intern approach you with an uneasy look on her face

- she was for sure about to reprimand you

- “m-ms. y/n,, we have to go now!” she stuttered

- she was sO! cute you just couldn’t say no

- so you decided to just sneak a few bags of chips under your skirt before smiling and quickly following her

- you made your way to the stage, peeking behind the curtains

- you saw a huge crowd of people, mostly males, but one man who sat near the front caught your eye

- he had bright yellow eyes with matching blond hair, even wearing some eyeliner

- the unknown male looked absolutely delectable

- he made you bark a little tbh

- you took a deep breath before you were pushed by your manager on the stage, cheers suddenly reaching your ears as your fans confessed their love for you

- quit shamelessly might you add

- you blushed as you watched the cute blond-haired man cup his hands around his mouth and yell—

- “I LOVE YOU Y/N! IM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!” he yelled, gaining the attention of everyone in the room

- soon everyone started to yell that they were your biggest fan and that the blond man could never even compare

- but the man had nothing but a satisfied smirk plastered on his handsome face

- did he enjoy starting riots?

- you sat on the chair, placing your hands on top of the table

- this was a small table ngl

- luckily there was a sheet on the table, hiding your nervously bouncing legs

- just imagine watching a fancam of you bouncing your leg

- people would still thirst for that

- anyway

- “thank you guys for coming! i’m so excited to meet you all!” you started, smiling at the large number of people

- “you guys can ask me questions or some things? i don’t know?” you laughed, feeling slightly awkward

- you didn’t know how to be a person

- “can you do a dance for us!!” a young boy, about the age of 7 yelled, jumping up and down in front of his seat

- “what dance?” you queried, raising your brow in curiosity

- “move by taemin!!” he cheered, immediately dancing

- you laughed at his adorable actions

- you were totally gonna dance for him!

- you got up as the music started to play in the background, moving to the side of the table and sensually moving to the beat while the audience watched intently

- you carefully moved your hips, hitting all the right beats

- this wasn’t any different than dancing in front of the camera people, plus you had to get used to an audience

- it also wasn’t any different from how you had to dance to kpop songs from when you were younger for your family!!

- (no, literally. the amount of times i had to dance to 2NE1’s i am the best, girls generation’s gee, and wonder girls’ nobody. the dances are engraved in my head. 6 year old giri had to dance or else)

- as the song faded out, you held your pose before bowing, smiling at the little boy who continued to hype you up

- “holy fuck.. dabi that was hot” hawks whispered, tightening his grip around his friends sleeve

- “jeez kei, ease up a bit” dabi complained, prying his friends hand off of him

- “oh my god she’s such a great dancer, do you think she’ll like me if i learn how to dance too?” he questioned, grabbing his friend by the front of his shirt, pissing dabi off once more

- “no. not if you don’t stop being a fuckinf weirdo”

- hawks pouted

- dabi grinned

- how cruel

- “does anyone else have a request?”

- “WAP!!” a number of people yelled, resulting in your face heating up

- how would they suggest such a lewd dance!

- especially when there were children here!

- “haha! that doesn’t seem very appropriate!” you laughed it off, trying your best to mask your uncomfortableness

- hopefully this would end soon

- “no! can you dance to gashina please!” a girl yelled, catching your attention

- hm, gashina was actually a very good suggestion

- you could do this! you could be as great as sunmi!

- okay maybe no. sunmi was a god <3

- you did the routine, catching the eyes and the hearts of the audience

- “fuck i think i’m in love dabi” hawks whined, clutching his chest

- he had a lovesick expression plastered on his face

- he was totally whipped for you, no doubt about it

- before you knew it, it was time for the fans to have a minute to speak to you and for them to get their albums signed!

- you had recently debuted with your album, dawn in tokyo

- you had taken inspiration from the time where you had left your hotel at dawn and walked around the streets of tokyo, sitting near a bridge and writing lyrics for some of the songs in the album

- hence the name of the album

- most of your album was written in japan

- hawks felt himself get more excited as he came closer to you, holding tightly to the fabric of his friends jacket, which wouldn’t surely gotten him slapped if you weren’t so near

- before he knew it, he was already next in line, dabi already sitting in front of your figure while holding your soft, delicate looking hand in his large ugly ones

- this made hawks’ chest bubble with jealousy

- >:(

- sure, you had a large fan base, but it still hurt to see people touch you the way he wanted to

- it was now his turn, he walked up the stairs with his wobbly knees, wanting to just sit and be near you

- he knew that you would be able to calm his nerves, or make him spontaneously combust

- “hey! i’m y/n! nice to meet you!” you smiled, out-stretching your hand to him, offering to place your hand in his own

- he swiftly, but gently grasped your hand, before placing it on his cheek, letting you hold the soft chub of his cheek

- no fan had been this brave to do this. it was quite surprising to be honest

- he wasn’t breaking any rules so you decided to fuck it and go with it

- you placed both your hands on his cheeks, slightly squishing them together, causing him to adorably pout

- “dash not nishe” he mumbled, brows furrowing

- you laughed before letting go of his face, bringing your hands back to your side of the table

- “you’re so cute! can i sign your album for you?” you smiled, tilting your head to the side

- hawks just..dieded

- mans said peace out

- your beauty was incomprehensible

- phew, he had to get his shit together! he was trying to impress u! he wanted to be the mc in a wattpad story

- we all wanna be y/n

- anywayss

- “sure dove! u can make it out to keigo, u can put your number in it too ;)” he winked

- KDNDHSK

- DID HE—

- DID HE JUST ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER

- LIKE—

- nobody:

- y/n: i’m not gon do it girl.. i’m just thinking about it

- “ah! sorry cutie! i’m not allowed to share my number :333”

- you tried to laugh as you died inside

- he smiled, before placing a kiss on your fingertips

- “don’t worry dove,i respect that” he winked

- BARK BARK

- “i have some gifts for you!” he announced, placing the huge paper bag on top of the table

- he first pulled out your favourite snack before handing it to you

- how did he get these??

- omg

- then, he brought out a bottle of perfume, and a new song writing notebook!

- this was great!!

- “oh my gosh! keigo! you’re too sweet” you cooed,

- this was a lot

- “i also have something else.. would you wear this flower crown for me and do some fan-service?” he queried

- of course you would!

- you nodded before placing the flower crown on top of your head

- “what do you want me to say?”

- “say.. i’ll be a good dove for hawks. is that okay?” he smirked, tracing small circles into the palm of your hands

- w-wHAT

- was this legal

- your managers were literally ignoring you—

- “o-oh! sure! uhm-“

- god you were going to regret this

- “i-i’ll be a good dove for hawks!” you whimpered, showing off your practiced aegyo

- “ahhh! my heart!” he gasped, dramatically clutching his chest

- “excuse me, we need the next fan to come up” you manager tapped the both of your arms

- you nodded before smiling at hawks and waving goodbye

- you were going to miss him :((

- ig it just wasn’t meant to be

- the night you had gotten home, you decided to go through your gifts

- you were particularly interested in the gift you had gotten from the blond man

- it was really sweet of him to get you a notebook

- the moment you had opened it, you had noticed that something was written on the first page

- ‘xxx-xxx-xxxx call me pretty girl <3’

- he was a bold onealright

- you were contemplating on actually calling him

- he could leak your number!

- well, you could just wait for him to speak

- fuck it

- you dialed the number on your phone and waited as it rang

- “hello?”

- “i-is this keigo?”

- “hey dove, i’m glad you called”

- y/n: i did it :33

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld, Conar's Ambition, Chapter 2, Draft 1

[[Thanks to Tumblr updating the post length limit, I can finally put the full draft of Chapter 2 in one big post!]]

Slim was silent in line to Slugbite Motel. The chatter was hopefully decent cover; he didn’t need yet more attention after his outburst. If he kept his head down, he’d be fine, and wouldn’t get any more surplus bruises on top of the regular workday bruises.

He heard chatter all around him, gossip from other Slog Huts, Splinterz, and Flub Fuels.

“Management must be pissed, what with -”

“I can’t believe what Skrag did to me! What got into-”

“- hear about FeeCo?”

“We’re gonna be settin’ some electric fences up tomorrow, anyone know about -”

“ – say Abe’s got to Necrum –“

“ -Sligs must be worried if Abe’s getting’ to their place –“

Any talk of Abe was, of course, in whispers. No one believed him to be a terrorist, really, but everyone knew better than to celebrate. Well, everyone but him, apparently, but still. Slig forces were already pretty antsy right now, and there were cameras everywhere. Besides, it was a long day full of more abuse than normal. Everyone was just ready for bed, so to speak. Sure, it was less a bed and more a closet with a dirt floor and next to no elbow room, but it was a place to sleep, nonetheless.

It was almost his turn in the queue. Slim dug in his pouch for his meal ticket. With any luck, he’d get half a Scrabcake with the somewhat edible slop they served here. He presented the ticket to the Slig clerk Jeandis. Jeandis took one look, rolled his eyes from under his visor, and then slammed the counter to his left, deepening the indentation next to the bell. A Mudokon, wearing a light brown cap with deep red stripes and a similarly-colored loincloth, emerged from the back door, carrying a tray of gruel with him.

The tray had no trace of Scrabcakes, sadly, but it did come with a small can of that drink everyone was talking about – Soulstorm Brew. The green can with that nondescript Glukkon’s face on it was an interesting look, at least, and the somewhat sickly Mudokon in those commercials did look exceedingly happy when Director Phleg gave him a crate of the stuff, as if it was sorely-needed medicine. Slim even saw the server longingly stare at the can he had to give him.

“On the house… buddy,” Jeandis said, his line carefully rehearsed. “You saw the commercials; it’s a freebie!”

“Um, okay, thanks.”

Slim took his dinner tray and a plastic spoon over to find a seat that was open; this was no small feat in a Slugbite Motel. Many Mudokons had long since given up on the prospect, instead sitting on the floor against any given wall. He noticed how everyone was given similar cans of Brew, and a lot of the chatter he came across was already shifting from the recent Abe scare to the Oddsend the new drink was.

He walked through the throngs of fellow Scrubs, the smell of Brew filling the air. It was very strange; a tangy aroma that was also somehow familiar. The chatter grew louder and more animated as time went on, and even Slim was feeling a little less tired from the fumes and infectious cheer.

Still, it was a long day, so he still prepared to just sit down and eat. He found a place next to Ben, and dug in. Well, as much as you could dig in with whatever this was. Some said those were fruit chunks mixed in with the goop, some said they were Elum Chubs, but one thing for certain was they were undercooked. It was well known that this was the least of dinner’s concerns, sadly.

Slim took a few shaky scoops, doing his best to forget the words “gag reflex”. He was able to swallow the muck as usual, but he found himself coughing; it felt like he was eating sawdust under the slimy texture!

“Yeah,” Ben said, sympathetically, “Jeandis’ Special really sucks today, doesn’t it?”

“WHO SAID THAT?!” demanded Jeandis, so loud that everyone on the other side of the cafeteria could clearly hear the greenish-yellow Slig. The din died down as a furious head chef stomped over to the wall where the sound came from. There were at least ten cowering Scrubs under his wrathful glare, and they were all pointing grey or green fingers at each other.

“This is more than you deserve, ya miserable Chippunks! You oughta know I could—Eh?”

He was interrupted by frantic whispers from the server Mudokon, who was quick to rush up to his boss. He lowered his fist, slowly, and his face-tentacles sagged.

“…You oughta know…er…I could getcha another can of Brew to…wash it down…?”

Nine out of ten Mudokons were nodding enthusiastically, and the Scrubs at the surrounding tables cheered.

“Shut up and get in line again if you want another round!”

Almost all the Mudokons immediately shot up and sprinted into line. Some of them trembled excitedly while they waited.

Slim had never seen the cafeteria so alive or enthusiastic before. This Soulstorm Brew stuff must have one hell of a kick. If he drank it now, he’d probably be up all night. Best to save this stuff for when he needed it – no need to come to work tired tomorrow.

Besides, if all else failed, he had a bartering tool now.

With this in mind, he tucked the can he had into his pouch. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to sleep with a dry throat; he knew better than to ask Jeandis for anything else to drink.

His body still ached, and it had been a long day on top of that, so while Jeandis was occupied with his sudden fame, Slim quietly ate up the rest of his “meal” and left. With the “first come, first served” policy of getting a room for the night, he was able to get one right by the cafeteria for once. He might even be able to get breakfast tomorrow!

He dug in his pouch for his ID, and a quick scan gave him the room for the night. As the door closed behind him, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the windowless closet. When he did, he could see all kinds of scratchings on the wall. Short complaints about bosses and a variety of tally marks filled most of it, but there were some other things. There was the occasional crude drawing of a bird, which gave Slim nostalgia over something he never experienced. There were conversations between anonymous Mudokons, about the latest gossip, concerns, and anything else. It was comforting; they watched out for each other and kept each other informed even when they didn’t really know each other.

With his nightly reading done, Slim slumped down to the ground. The dirt here was cool, but nothing he wasn’t used to. With any luck, he wouldn’t wake up to Bolamites crawling over him, but that was a problem for future him. Present him just had to be absorbed by the soft earth, and dream of a better workday, one where Abe saved him from this miserable job and blew up the Slog Hut.

It was all he could do, really.

* * *

It wasn’t even five minutes before he felt a cold breeze, and the light of the hallway made him squeeze his eyes shut more before sitting up. A hand went up to shield his vision, but he was still blinded for a moment while he tried to make out the silhouette. A Slig, for sure, but that hardly narrowed it down. The Pants were pretty basic, being two robotic legs attached to a large ball. However, the giveaway was the mask that obscured this particular guard’s face. It was one of the older visors, like some Sligs still wore, with a single long visor. However, this one covered his scalp, forming an ugly black helmet rather than just a scary red visor. Only Conar had that version, but what was he doing here of all places?

Well, it couldn’t be anything good. Slim shuddered, wondering what he’d have to apologize for to get a manager from work to find him in this motel. But… no beating or gunfire came his way. In fact, Conar looked taken aback. He wasn’t aiming his Blunderbuss anywhere in particular, and his head kept turning either way, as if he wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Well, whaddaya know, Slim,” he said, after a moment. “Funny I’d run into you here…”

Slim blinked, lowering his hands, but remaining where he was.

“So, uh... you wanna get outta shoveling Slog crap?”

Slim opened his mouth to answer, but Conar grabbed his arm, so the Scrub’s confused questions were interrupted by his own yelp.

“Time’s up!” Conar said, hearing the chatter die down in the cafeteria. “We’re leavin’!”

“Oh-okay…”

“And you’re gonna shut yer yap! We ain’t supposed to be doing this, you know!”

With that, the two of them silently beat feet away from the hubbub of the mess hall, kicking up a lot of dirt on their way.

The hall separated into two different ways at the end. Conar knew that to the left was the back door he came from, and was going to drag Slim with him. But Slim had other ideas, nearly pulling Conar out of his Pants as he pulled them both to the right.

Conar adjusted his seat so he could run properly again, then struggled to get out of Slim’s grip.

“What the hell?!” he protested, before realization struck, and he quieted down. “The back way’s the otherhall!”

“Where do you think most’f the Sligs are?” Slim harshly whispered. “Seen at least four Mudokons try that, and they never make it to the parking lot!”

“Oh, and the front door’sgonna be much better? Hah!”

“Dunno,” Slim shrugged. “No one’s tried it.”

Conar was about to say something pretty snippy, but he saw they were close to the lobby. The pair stopped just short, and Conar looked ahead. There wasn’t much to see, past the dozens of bored Mudokons waiting in line to be checked in by a very bored Glukkon receptionist, complete with a very bored Slig there to type the guests’ numbers in.

No one was looking their way, so Conar motioned for Slim to follow, and the two of them walked towards the other exit. They made it about halfway through before the Pud looked up.

“Where do ya think you’re goin?!”

“Ah…” Conar started, before regaining his composure. “Y’see, he was volunteered to work overtime tonight! Just came here to pick ‘im up!”

The Glukkon rose to his full height, which would have been impressive if he had shoulder pads or any non-plaid clothing. His assistant also rose, clicking a pen as violently as one could manage. Both Conar and Slim hunched a little, preparing to put their hands over their heads.

The receptionists walked over, sneering. The Mudokons in the queue muttered, some talking about the scene, others complaining about this new delay between them and dinner.

The Glukkon leaned close, so close Conar could almost read the miniscule nametag.

“We have procedures for this, you know! Guests –“ he said the word like most would say “slurg”, “—are to be signed out before leaving the premises!”

Slim blinked. It was hard to tell if Conar did the same.

“Yeah, er…” Conar said, rubbing his head. “Sorry, sir. I thought you wanted ‘im in line, too.”

“And risk the liability?” the receptionist exclaimed. “No, we have registration protocol for a reason!You security and your..your… unprofessionalism!”

His assistant merely gave Conar a look of resignation before marching back to check the Mudokons in.

“If we were to mix the lines like that, our quotas would go kaput! And this is a fine establishment!”

Conar chose not to bring up the dirt floor or the mold-eaten wallpaper. He was already debating whether or not this endeavor was worth it. Zoning out and wondering about that was far easier than listening to this chump.

“…My brothers and I… investors….”

Conar nodded along, thinking about the future, and the riches that would be in store for him. Maybe he could force Zeb to work for him. Of course, something like that would come after a little bit of begging for mercy. But what to spend the well-earned Moolah on? Maybe he’d get himself a nice, classy suit, with premium Slig Pants, armor, and a nice, big gun with all the works…

“…So, I’d really appreciate it if you’d show some class and go to the other desk!”

“Yes, sir!” Conar nodded, moving over to the empty desk. The Glukkon waddled over to the other side, and started controlling some machinery with his shoes.

“Name?”

“Slim.”

Tap, tap, tap.

“…Not found in our records.”

“Can’t you just add ‘im?”

“We just went over this! There are procedures! It will not be as simple as your mind! I can’t just add a Mudokon who is already in the--”

As Conar prepared to sigh, Slim stepped forward.

“Sorry sir,” he said, putting on his best Gluk-pleasing face (that is, a weak smile politely begging for mercy), “He must not’ve read my ID. Do you need my number?”

The receptionist laughed, looking down at Conar while nodding. He kept chuckling at the absurdity of this Slig’s ineptitude as he worked the pedals, searching for Slim by number. He finally stopped adding to Conar’s humiliation, catching his breath while reading what came onto his black-and-white monitor.

“Right, right, you’re all set to leave. Can’t be too careful this day and age, with all those escapees… Anyway, give him a few corporate-approved smacks to keep him in line, would you?”

Connar nodded, a little too hastily. After a moment to ensure no signature or receipt was needed, he turned and poked Slim with his blunderbuss.

“Alright, get movin’. We’re goin’ to work, now!”

Conar couldn’t believe it; he was expecting a tense escape, maybe an amazing shootout. But no; he was walking through the front door, with a Mudokon openly in tow. He even waved at a couple of the guards on his way out. He looked up at Slim, who kept himself hunched and shivering in a clearly practiced manner. The two of them marched in silence for a while, with Conar occasionally tapping the muzzle of his gun against Slim’s back for effect.

“You’re welcome,” Slim finally said, once they were closer to the Slog Huts again, and well out of earshot.

“What, you expectin’ thanks?” Conar asked, laughing at the audacity. “I was the one bustin’ ya out, y’know!”

Slim gave a smug grin, leaning against the wall as he did so.

“Oh, really? You go out the back with a Mudokon like you wanted, they’d be throwing your lead-filled ass into the recycler faster than you can say—”

He tried making that noise he heard many Sligs shout, but it sounded more like his lungs were playing tug-of-war.

“Yeah, well, you seemed pretty comfy in that filthy closet.”

“Ha, yeah, thanks,” Slim laughed, looking around for a moment. “So uh, why didja get me out of there anyway?”

“Right, yeah,” Conar said, clearing his throat. “So, you’re gonna help me take Zeb down a peg. If that Abe guy can take down RuptureFarms, I figure you can help me get his Moolah and ruin ‘im!”

Slim’s smile faded, and he looked at Conar like the Slig grew legs on the spot.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nah,” Conar shook his head. “This should be easy; we go in, hold ‘im at gunpoint, and—”

“And just how,” Slim asked, leaning forward until he was face to face with Conar, “do you expect us to ‘go in’? Do you even know where his office is?”

Conar’s smug grin faltered.

“Eh--? I…”

“To say nothin’ about the security he’s probably got! You got the news just like I did; they’re scared. They probably got security tighter than Jeandis’ skull there! Didja think any of this—”

He was cut off by a blunderbuss muzzle under his chin. So it was going to be certain death or immediate death, he saw.

“…G-got it. So, what’s the plan, boss?”

[ohtheseboysilove]

Silly boy. [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 1, 700 K +

Warnings : angst, fluff, tiny hint of steamy time

Summary : Reader and Roger fought. The drummer misunderstood the situation and thinks Reader is leaving him.

Note : Thank you for the request lovie (and the compliments about my writings !!! Jeez im still blushing!!!) I changed few things and it’s a bit dramatic but it’s not too bad, hope you like it cutie pie !

🌼Request are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

"Are you fucking kidding me Roger Taylor ?" You shoved violently the magazine in his face as soon as your boyfriend of three years passed the door of your shared flat. "Roger Taylor and his girlfriends celebrating the new Queen’s album. Girlfriends Roger, with a fucking S at the end ! What’s wrong with you ?" You yelled furiously, face red and tense.

"Oh, please baby, not again. We’re not gonna have that discussion again" The drummer pushed your hand away and sighed, kicking his shoes off.

"Oh yes, we damn will Taylor ! Do you know how humiliating this is for me ?" You followed him in the flat, smoke practically coming out from your ears.

"For god’ sake (Y/N) ! Nothing happened, you know that ! They’re just fans, crappy journalists like to create dramas to sell there shitty magazines" The blond groaned, leaning against the kitchen’s counter.

You snorted loudly, resisting of the urge to slap him in his face.

"Everyone think you cheating on me, even my parents, Rog ! They asked me why I stayed with you the other day !" You hit his chest with the magazine repeatedly. "You slap stupid slap wanker slap ! I don’t know how to deal with your childish behaviour Roger !" The drummer snapped the journal from your hands and threw it on the counter, rubbing his torso.

"It’s called marketing (Y/N) ! I can’t just shoo away every people who come to me because you’re bloody jealous" He crosses his arms, jaw clenched tightly.

You had this argument again and again, it always ended in screams and shutting doors.

"You’re funny, it’s never men that I saw on your lap on the photo or ugly girls ! What a freaking coincidence ! Only models are allowed to have pictures with you, very convenient Roger" You bit back, this time you wouldn’t just drop the topic. And he wouldn’t get away with a charming smile and sweet nothings, not this time.

“Jesus, (Y/N)..." The blond pinched his nose bridge, chest panting with anger. "You know what ? Maybe if sometime you would come with me to these events, I wouldn’t be so fucking bored ! But no, of course, you’re always busy with your stupid work !"

You took a step back, mouth parting at the audacity of the man.

"Did you hear yourself Roger ?" You let out a loud fake laugh as you shook your head. "You’re on tour half of the year and you’re telling me that I’m too busy with work ? You’re a joke" You walked away and this time he was the one to follow you. "You know what ? Me and stupid job are telling you to go fuck yourself Taylor"

"What a mature reaction for sure !" He threw his hands in the airs, brows furrowed by how tense he was about the whole situation. "Maybe you could get out of your ass the giant stick you got in there, couldn’t hurt" He added, his lips drew into a thin line.

You nodded slowly and grabbed your jacket and handbag, before shutting the door on his face without another word.

**

You and him ignored each other for two days until Roger came home after work, to find boxes in the entry. His eyes widened and his heart quickened against his rib cage. No. You couldn’t leave him. It had always been (Y/N) and Roger against the rest of the world, no matter how bad your fights were, you always found your ways to each other. Every time. Roger swallowed nervously at the boxes full of clothes, dropping his things on the ground and rushing to the bedroom.

Love of my life was playing quietly on background as you were kneeled next to a box, folding clothes inside it. This was it. He lost you. The thought of you not in his life anymore was unbearable, his stomach twisting in horror at the realisation. This was his fault, he pushed you away with his bullshits, he was the only responsible of the situation. His heart compressed heavily his chest, tears pooling in his eyes.

Not you.

Roger felt a rush of adrenaline rolling through his veins. He wouldn’t allow that, whatever it could take, you needed to stay by his side. You noticed him and rolled your eyes still pissed at him but you didn’t except what followed.

The drummer dropped on his knees next to you and cupped your cheeks, bringing his lips on yours for a kiss. You kissed him back, forgetting for few seconds that you were mad at him as his tongue caressed yours, in a deep but incredibly soft and full of love kiss.

"Please don’t leave me" Roger whispered, his forehead resting on yours, his shaky fingers reaching for your hands. "Baby, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot"

You blinked and knitted your brows together in confusion.

"I don’t—"

But he shook his head, putting his hand on your mouth, pleading you to let him talk. You were confused but Roger’s eyes were glassy and his voice sounded so weak, you kept your mouth shut.

"I will do better okay ? No more girls at parties, I don’t give a shit, just stay with me" The blond squeezed your hands and you looked at him with a parted mouth, wondering why he was suddenly reacting like that. The romantic rhythm of the famous song Freddie wrote for Mary was echoing in the room and Roger’s mouth started moving in synch, singing the words to you. "Love of my life don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me..." A tear escaped the drummer’s eyes, his lips pressing against yours in the softest way you ever felt. Your own gaze was starting to get teary at Roger’s words and state, you never saw him so...vulnerable. "Don't take it away from me because you don't know, what it means to me..." He was sobbing at the end of the song. You weren’t better, his head was buried in your neck, his salty tears soaking your top but you didn’t give a care in the world.

"Roger..." You were speechless, trying to find a reason to his desperate behaviour but feeling completely helpless. And clueless. You had worst fight than the last one, it couldn’t be because of that.

"I’m begging you (Y/N), don’t leave me. You’re the love of my life, you’re the one and Freddie is right, you stolen my love but I don’t want it back, I just want you" The drummer raised his head, his bottom lip shaking with fear and his beautiful big blue eyes were puffy and red from all the cries.

Your heart twisted with pain at his state, heartbroken and visibly hurt.

"Roger, love, I’m not going anywhere" You caressed gently his wet cheeks, giving him a small but reassuring smile. "How could think I would leave you Rog ? Silly boy" You peppered several kisses on his parted lips, your hands falling on his tense shoulders.

The drummer blinked away the few last tears in his eyes, breathing slowly calming down. He seemed confused.

"But the boxes..." It was your turn to be a bit lost. He gestured to the clothes folded on the floor. "It look a lot like you were packing and leaving me" He sheepishly said, still a bit shook by the previous event. Roller-coaster of emotions.

"Oh my god Roger, you’re serious !" You cried with a pitched-voice. The blond recognise your exasperated tone and bit his lips. What did he forget again ? "I have been asking you for ages to get ride of the clothes you don’t use ! For my cousin's charity shop, are you listening to me when I talk ?" You tilted your head with annoyance, crossing your arms with a sigh. "I’m cleaning my closet and I’m still excepting you to do the same"

The drummer’s lips parted in a perfect O. Yes. You did talk about this a lot. But Roger always pushed it back, too lazy. Well, it just fireback right on his face, giving him the biggest fear of his life.

"I remember now" He murmured bitterly, rubbed his forehead and feeling incredibly stupid. "God, I really thought you were leaving me !"

"You silly ass !" You shook your head but smiled tenderly, fingers messing a bit his hairs. "But at least it did make you said things I really like. Especially the part about not seeing girls at parties anymore" You tilted your head, arching a brow.

The blond glanced at you and pretended to think about it, making you humphed in annoyance. "I’m joking baby, I meant what I said. I don’t want to lose you. Never" You smiled happily, almost purring at Roger’s gentle stroking on your cheek. "You’re the love of my life after all" He added, lips melting against yours.

"Stop it, we cried enough today" You replied in the kiss, gasping when Roger slid his tongue in your mouth, cheekily grinning.

His warm palm travelled to your hips, bringing you closer and you happily obliged, your fingers wrapping tightly around his neck. You sighed softly when he left your mouth to nibbled at your neck, his hand cupping your breast through your top.

"Baby" You hummed questioningly, a quiet moan leaving your parted lips. " I need you” He grabbed one of your hand and put it on his crotch, proving you how much he needed you. "Please" He whined when you barely palmed him, feeling bratty today.

"I have a better idea" The blond’s eyes sparkled at your words, lust feeling his big blue eyes. "You, mister, gonna clean your fucking closet. I’m supposed to bring the boxes tomorrow morning"

You swallowed back a snort at the deception on his gaze, hips bucking desperately against your body.

"Baby, come on. I will do it after, I swear" The drummer pleaded. "I’m so hard right now"

"That absolutely not negotiable pretty boy. You said you will doing better at home, so help me with the boxes and clothes and eventually, I could let you have me. If you do a good job" You stepped away, sliding an empty box in his direction. He pouted, cheeks red with need and it was a beautiful sight. "Come on, you better catch up with me because I will certainly start without you if you’re too slow" You winked and chuckled as Roger accepted the challenge, practically tripping on his way to his closet.

"The winner cum first !" The blond yelled, half of his body buried into the closet, somewhere in the outrageous amount of clothes hanging in it.

"You got yourself a deal, Mr Taylor"

**

Permanent tag list : @jennyggggrrr

[enchantingexile]

Brothers Best Friend - c.b

Request: being brennen's sister and he's always teasing you, like saying that you have a crush on Colby while he's vlogging and while Colby's over and things like that, kinda like he did with Jessica in his video where he and Colby re-create their vines, and maybe one day Colby talks to you about that, or you can make the end as you think goes better with the story you come up with

Pairing: Colby Brock x Reader

Masterlist

— — — —

You had been sitting on the couch on your phone when you saw a tweet Colby had posted talking about how he was now a fifth wheel and because you had your notifications on for him you had immediately seen it. The laughter came out in a short burst and Brennen being the nosy bitch he is, was sitting near you leaned over quickly to see what you were laughing at.

“Ooh.. y/n and Colby sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. Ing” He sang to you.

“Shut up moron, you’re more in love with him than I am” You retort quickly, hoping he would shut up about it.

“But even if im more in love with him that still means you’re in love with him, see that guys.” He speaks to the camera now “y/n just admitted she’s in love with Colby” You roll your eyes in annoyance, continuing to look at your phone before you speak again.

“You know damn well I didnt mean it like that” You say as you push him with your foot. “You’re a friggen idiot, now get your ugly bitchass out my face” He just laughs at you and points the camera your way to annoy you further. Once he is over annoying you he walks off to his room probably to go and tell Colby what he has just said and even though you could hear him gossiping about you to Colby you didn’t care very much because you knew how Colby felt towards you.

To him you were his best friends little sister, you knew him and his moral stand point. He would never try and go after his best friends sister.

“Y/N!” You heard Brennen call from another room in the house, “Y/N!” He continued, waiting for you to answer so he knew where you were in the house.

“What Brennen, geez” You reply, grunting as you get off the couch annoyed that he would even make you get up.

“Oh nothing, I just wanted you to know your boyfriend is coming over” You look at him like he has lost his mind.

“I don’t have a boyfriend and you know it, I’m literally always complaining about it” You tried to remind him just how single you were but all you got was an eyeroll in return.

“You know I’m talking about Colby”

“Oh, you meant your boyfriend” You laughed at him and walked away into your room hoping you wouldn’t actually have to see Colby when he arrived.

But not long after you heard the front door open and close with a loud bang and you knew it was Colby, he was never subtle or quiet when he came over. Wanting everyone to know that he is there.

“Honey I’m home” Colby yelled through the house.

“In the kitchen sweetie” You heard your older brother yell back in response, you laughed from your room. Colby had heard your giggle and made a b-line to your room.

“Hey y/n, didn’t realise you were going to be here.”

“Mhm, sure” You rolled your eyes at him and continue to look at the device in your hand “where else would I be Cole?” You replied as sarcastic as you could without coming off as a bitch.

You knew that he knew you were going to be home today because you had heard Brennen tell him over the phone, you were guessing that he looked this good because they were going to be filming a video but the thought of him dressing up for you had crossed your mind. You walk up to the door and lean on the door frame with a smile.

“Love the hair, Brock” you tell him as you run your hand through it and mess it up before pushing his head back to move him out of the way so you could close your door and continue with what you had been previously doing.

You heard him walk into the kitchen and greet your brother with a hard slap on the back.

“Your sisters lookin hot today” You heard Colby chuckle after his comment right before Brennen’s reply.

“Ew, dont be fuckin gross dude. Thats my sister you perv.” Brennen reacted the exact way you would have expected him to but you had never expected for Colby to say something like that to your brother, knowing you were just a wall away.

— — —

You had decided to take a nap while the boys filmed their video so that you didnt disturb them and also because you could feel your body becoming sluggish due to lack of sleep you had been getting.

You had just woken up and checked your social media before you heard a knock at your door. You got up to see who it was and it was the beautiful blue eyed, blue haired boy you had been crushing on.

“Hey”

“Hi?” You asked curiously, just now rubbing the sleep from your eyes and letting out a soft yawn. You could see Colby smiling at you even through sleep coated eyes.

“I was wondering if you you wanted to go out to dinner?” He asked as he scratched his neck, a nervous habit you had grown fond of.

“Uh yeah sure! Where’s Brennen at?” You smiled at him and looked around him to see where your brother was.

“Ooh, uhm he is editing. I was hoping maybe it could just be the two of us?”

“Uhm yeah... sure” You were a little bit suspicious about his sudden request to go to dinner alone with you. “Let me get dressed and we can go?”

“Yeah, okay” He walked off in the direction that was Brennen’s room, you hoped that he already knew about this because you didnt want to be coming home to Brennen being a jerk towards you so you texted to see if he was fine with you going to dinner with Colby and he just responded with a thumbs up emoji. I mean, thats as good as its going to get right?

With the okay being sent through, you get dressed to go to dinner with Colby only taking a few minutes not wanting to put too much pressure on this. Whatever this was. You walk to Brennen’s room and inform Colby that you are ready to eat and he gets up and youse both say goodbye to Brennen, as you walk away you can see a smirk forming on your brothers face.

“Alright, where to?” Colby asks you as he holds the door open for you to walk through.

“Tendergreens, right?”

“You know my favourite restaurant?” He asks you with a smile, a red tinge creeping onto his cheeks.

“I know a lot more about you than I probably should, thanks to Brennen”

“Maybe Brennen has been trying to set us up this whole time” Colby says and youse both laugh but then realise that exactly what he has been trying to do, remembering how he reacted when you and Colby were leaving.

“I think thats exactly what he is doing to be honest” You reply before getting into Colby’s car and youse begin your journey to dinner, this is all you had been thinking about since the day you had met Colby. You never thought that the lame senarios you came up with would come to fruition.

“What a weirdo, trying to set up his little sister with his best friend” He jokes, and even though he was joking you were hoping this was going to be an actual date and not just another senarios to daydream about later. You knew that if you didn’t say anything you would be stuck in this weird limbo of ‘what are we’ so you gained as much courage as you could before speaking. You could feel your stomach in your throat before you began speaking, this could either work in your favour or be the worst moment of your life.

“I just wanted to say that even though Brennen is always teasing me for it and I always deny it... I do have a crush on you” You said the last part in a whisper, your voice losing its courage and turning into something pathetic. You didn’t want to see his reaction at all so you sat there staring at the window and even though you could see him smirking at you in the reflection of the window you still didn’t know how to feel about this whole situation. Your heart was racing in your chest and your palms were sweating like crazy.

“You have to know by now that I have a crush on you too” He laughed, another nervous tell of his. You hadnt realised that Colby had the car parked in front of the restaurant already. You didn’t know how to reply but you did know how you felt and the feelings were growing stronger by then second.

“Alright then, lets get some food. Im starving” You laugh at him and get out of the car, following closely behind Colby into the restaurant and taking your seat next to him.

Youse spoke for hours and ate the food, he let you steal from his meal a little bit and you let him take from yours. Youse had never been alone like this before and you didn’t want it to end, it was like a new found freedom that you didnt want to let go. You hoped that Colby felt the same way you did.

— — —

When Colby drops you off you skip straight to Brennen’s room to tell him everything that happened. Joy radiating off of you.

“Thanks for setting us up Brennen, we actually had a really good time” You sat down at the end of his bed.

“Well, Colby said it was terrible. So I don’t know who to believe.” He said to you as you had just finished gloating and your heart could have fallen out of your chest in this moment.

“Oh” Heartbreak was written all over your face and he could tell, there was a tear pricking the inner corner of your eye but you didn’t let it out.

“I was kidding, damn dude. Calm down.” He said and kicked you off his bed, a loud thud being heard from your ass hitting the floor at high speed.

“You’re a friggen asshole, you know” You tell him as you pick yourself up off the floor and walk away.

“He had a really good time, wont stop gushing about it. I’m probably gonna vomit its so gross” He showed you a few text messages he had recieved from Colby, there were plenty of heart eye emojis.

“Okay, I get it. But I shouldn’t be looking at these messages, its an envasion of privacy” You tell him as you leave the room, taking one last look at the phone before leaving.

She looked so gorgeous and she wasn’t even trying

The last text message you saw had read, you felt all giddy and you didn’t know what to do. But you knew you wanted to be around Colby all the time.

— — — —

If you liked this a nice comment is always appreciated

[themelonsins]

Whirlwind [sickfick holla]

okay this is based on this post I made a while back u know but it was so cute that I had to write something for it now anyways i love dimitri but i love torturing him much much more. theres also a lot of canon events mentioned and if theres any confusion of those im v happy to answer

Warnings: stuffing, emeto, mentions of decapitation (?)

Things for the University of Supers Honors College were in a complete spiral. The constant villain attacks, Scarlet going missing. The most devastating occurrence was the death of Audrey’s second head-Twoey. Not only did this leave Audrey out of commission for weeks on end, but severely depressed as well. So, the gang-save Scarlet and Xavier who, upon her return, decided there was much they needed to discuss as a couple-decided to take Audrey to a nearby amusement park to brighten her day. They’ve missed her smile oh so dearly. Dimitri orchestrated the whole thing-spoiler this day doesn’t end well for our well meaning Russian baby.

“Ready to go, Audrey,” Dimitri slung his shoulder around his green-tinted, mutant friend. The top of her head was wrapped with a sort of bandage, for safety precautions. The female smiled, her sharp canines glinting brightly. 

“Yeah, I’m ready to have some fun after being cooped up in the infirmary for weeks,” Audrey breathed deeply, watching as Jesse came forward, Audrey’s purse slung over his shoulder. “I’m gonna ride with Jesse, do you mind? I mean, I know this was your plan.” Dimitri just waved his hand, giving Audrey his most handsome grin.

“Nah, of course. Jesse’s a handsome guy, of course you want to spend a car ride with him,” Dimitri winked at the two, a blush forming on the apples of Audrey’s cheeks and a slight one on Jesse’s. “Don’t kiss him too hard, he’ll make you never want to stop.” Audrey burst out laughing, and Jesse froze in his tracks, face exploding in a bright red shade. Rie hit Dimitri’s chest as he laughed in a rhythm with Audrey. Pulling Audrey’s arm, Jesse let out an embarrassed blush as he pulled Audrey down to the door. 

“You’re dead Romanov,” Jes yelled as he was opening the door, Audrey’s giggles loud from behind him. 

“Love you!” Dimitri called back. “Ready, Rie?” Dimitri’s electric gaze followed Rie as she skimmed through her purse.

“Yep! Let’s go.” She beamed, skipping out the door. Dimitri smiled at her while she skipped, though something was bubbling in the pit of his belly as he followed suit.

***

The car ride to the amusement park wasn’t doing the dull ache in his stomach any favors. Any bump in the road only made it worse. The heavy rock music, altering between RnB tracks provided a nice distraction from it. Listening to Rie’s beautiful voice belting to the track of No Scrubs by TLC, Dimitri chuckled while his stomach let out a loud, ugly gurgle. 

“Whoa,” He breathed, a smile on his face though that gurgle forced a ripple of pain to pull through his stomach. Turning the music down, Rie looked at him with a devilish grin on her face. 

“Wow, Romanov, hungry?” She teased, waiting until they were stopped to start poking at his, already, sensitive tummy. He giggled a little, though the poking provided more pain than a ticklish sensation. “Do you want to stop and get some food?” 

“Nah. Nope,” Dimitri shook his head, starting to drive once the light turned green. “I can wait, don’t worry about it.” Rie snorted.

“Whatever you say, Sparky.” Her smile was almost contagious, yet he definitely felt that whatever war was raging in his tummy wasn’t due to hunger.

***

When Dimitri told you getting off that first roller coaster was the worst experience of his life, he wasn’t exaggerating. The twists and turns, the loops, only made the nausea so much worse than it was in the car. He hid it fairly well with cheering and yelling, yet he stopped a good way through because he was too scared that bile or vomit would fly out of his mouth and onto Audrey who was in front of him. Walking off, the after effects of the coaster were hitting him hard. He felt dizzy and like he was about to throw up everywhere.

And Audrey jumping on his back with a loud giggle didn’t make matters easier. Yet he mustered through with a smile. 

“That was so so so much fun, Dimitri!” Audrey laughed loudly, Rie and Jesse trailing behind her.

“Yeah it was,” Smiling, he held his hands on her waist to set her down gently. Yet she couldn’t help but bounce. Hahnna and Ezra found their way to the group. Both of them decided sitting out on more endorphin rising rides would be best for their weak stomachs as they both had really bad motion sickness. Maybe Dimitri should join them. 

Nah. Nope. Not gonna be a pussy. Not today.

“How bout a few more rides before we go get something to eat?” Rie suggested, which was met with an agreement from the group. Dimitri remained silent, the mere mention of gross, greasy amusement park food made his stomach churn in a not so fun way. 

“Can we go on baby rides, please?” Hahnna requested with a smile and absolutely no one could say no to that girls sweet smile. Honestly, Dimitri never loved a suggestion more. 

The baby rides, as Hahnna called them, provided a really nice relief onto his struggling tummy. Every time they walked to a new ride, he’d rub small circles into his abdomen, hoping to provide more comfort. To no avail, but the heat of his hand radiating through his shirt felt lovely. 

***

This was the part of the day he didn’t want to happen. Dimitri didn’t want to eat anything, he felt so awful. While his friends were ordering food, he had every intention of paying for Rie and not actually getting anything. 

That idea received a good amount of backlash from his dear friends.

“Dimitri you haven’t eaten anything all day,” Ezra pouted, putting his hands on his friends shoulders.

“Yeah, besides, your stomach was growling like a caged animal this morning,” Rie teased, rubbing a circle into his belly. Dimitri had to hold back a groan from how nice her hand felt on his achy stomach. He watched her brows furrow, yet didn’t think anything of it. Swallowing back whatever he was feeling, Dimitri caved. He ordered chicken tenders, the lightest thing they had and what would hopefully be gentle on his stomach. 

The laughter and conversation they had while they ate was such a wonderful distraction from the pain. Though, every time he swallowed food into that absolutely pain filled belly, Dimitri could feel the ache grow and feel the bloat starting. His part in the conversation started to dwindle. Instead, he focused on rubbing his belly in smooth circles, and doing his best to not unbutton his pants in public. Though it wasn’t long before a loud belch rippled past his lips. In response he covered his mouth, a blush forming on the apples of his cheeks.

“Bless you!” Hahnna smiled, doing her best to joke around with Dimitri’s no-doubt embarrassment. Rie looked over to Dimitri, concern glazed over in her eyes. Audrey laughed, waving her hand back and forth.

“I’ll give that like an eight point five,” She joked with a smile.

“I’ll take it.” Dimitri joked.

***

Dimitri’s walking pace to the next ride most certainly slowed down, and the only one who noticed was Rie, who kept her speed low to match Dimitri’s. When she was this close, she could hear how angry his tummy was. It was gurgling loudly. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, sliding her arm across his waist. He leaned into her, grateful for the balance she was providing. “Something not agreeing with you?”

“I’ve felt so sick all day, honeybee,” Dimitri admitted, running his hand across his bloated belly. 

“Sweetheart! Why didn’t you say anything?” She gasped. “Sit out from this next ride Dimitri, now.” Dimitri shook his head, getting in line for the ride against Rie’s will. 

That was the worst mistake Dimitri made on this day. Everyone had their endorphins rushed due to so many loops and turns, but all Dimitri felt was the urge to yak. They were all talking and laughing, but all Dimitri could hear was white noise. He spotted a trashcan and that was it. That was the end for our smooth as butter Dimitri. Instantly, Dimitri began to vomit. The little he ate coming right back up along with bile and water.

“Oh my God, Dimitri,” Jesse yelped, running to his best friends side, a cool hand running down his back. This only helped everything come up easier. “What the Hell, man?” 

“Dimitri are you okay?” Audrey asked, running to his side. Her hands felt up and down his stomach, feeling the bloat. “Oh, Sparky you’re so bloated.” Dimitri couldn’t respond, the vomit coming up his throat prevented any words. Tears began rushing down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Oh sweetie, don’t cry.” When Dimitri pulled away from the trash can, his hands felt numb and he slid onto the floor, groaning in absolute and utter pain. 

“How long have you been sick?” Hahnna asked, kneeling in front of him.

“All day,” Was his hoarse response, hand raising to wipe his lips with the back of his hand.

“Baby,” Jesse huffed, pushing Dimitri’s bangs out of his sweaty forehead. 

“I’m so sorry Audrey,” Dimitri choked, and he felt like crying more. He ruined this day for Audrey. “I didn’t want to ruin this for you.”

“You didn’t.” Audrey hushed him, cupping his cheeks. “Rie will you please take him back to the dorms?”

“Like I’d do anything else,” Rie smiled softly down at the sickly boy in front of her.

***

The car ride home was silent. Dimitri was curled in the back seat, trying to sleep but, like earlier, the bumps in the road made him feel so much more sick. She lead him back inside, and lay him gently on the couch. This was all in silence. She grabbed the heating pad, plugged it in and laid it on Dimitri’s aching belly. It was still so bloated, even if it was empty. Kneeling beside the couch, she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Feel any better?” Rie asked.

“Slightly,” Dimitri breathed. “I still feel like my stomach was wringed out but,” sighing he curled into the couch. “My tummy hurts.”

“I know,” She cooed, rubbing circles into his lower belly, not covered by the heating pad. The doors to the common area opened and the group rejoined Rie and Dimitri in the common area. Audrey held a giant teddy bear in her arms as she walked in, Jesse with ginger ale.

“Hey,” Audrey smiled. “I’m so sorry your sick, sweetie,” She sighed. “So I got you this bear. You’ve been so sweet with what happened to me. The least we can do is take care of you.” Jesse set the ginger ale on the table.

“This is for when you feel a little better. Just to get something in your system,” Jesse offered, arms crossed. Dimitri smiled.

“Thank you guys, I appreciate this but,” Dimitri burped in the back of his hand. “Can I just take a nap out here?”

“Of course you can!” Audrey beamed. “But expect a load of belly rubs and cuddles from us when you get up!” 

“I’m looking forward to it.”

[coalessscence]

one of my favorite worst things to Think About are the ways herb’s casually neglectful childhood sometimes just....surfaces in the every day world of his life now. and since his whole shtick is my childhood was perfect my father is basically god and i have absolutely no parent issues idk what ur talking abt, he winds up having to flail, having to learn on the way down, and try to keep up a cover that he knew all along. which, usually, doesn’t work, and just makes it all the more sad. here’s a few examples i’ve thought of because i don’t love myself:

someone around the station gets stuck with something metal and comments they might need a tetanus shot. herb was definitely never taken to the doctor’s for a checkup and regular vaccinations as a child, and since he works daytime hours lucille takes the kids while he’s at work, so he literally has never had a shot and he doesn’t fully understand what vaccines are, aside from cultural osmosis, so he asks in telling confusion, “what’s that supposed to mean?” @piper-aileen-lenox specifically, thnx for making me think of this and ruining my life xx

when herb and lucille moved in together (i imagine they were engaged but maybe not married just yet) lucille made it clear to her rather sexist fiance that she was expecting him to tow the line around the house just as much as her, which he agreed to, except when she asked him to do the grocery shopping thinking that was a harmless thing he could do (not like she’d trust him to actually get the dishes clean or fold her clothes so they don’t wrinkle). they almost never had food consistently in the house growing up and if they did eat full meals, they only had the food for THAT MEAL around because 1. herb sr. and ruby (herb’s parents) lived an erratic lifestyle of little to no money or a whole lot of money but only for a second because it was burning a hole in herb sr.’s pocket, and because 2. ruby quickly learned spending money on food ahead was pointless because either herb sr. hecked off somewhere w/o warning and it went bad, or his deadbeat friends hung around and ate it all, so she only bought for that day if they had the money for anything. but since no one was ever around to TEACH herb anything and he figured most things out on his own, herb doesn’t understand all this and he literally thinks you’re not supposed to by food until you run out or that you have to throw out whatever you have left at the end of the week because....... who knows ???? that’s just what he thought. it caused multiple arguments early into herb and lucille’s relationship before she figured it out and explained it to him because he didn’t know well enough to ask.

when herb and lucille’s first child, bunny, was born, he had to be shown how to hold a baby by the doctor. he had literally never held or even interacted with a baby before until that moment. he had no siblings (that he knew of), he had no friends as a child because if he wasn’t the bully he was the target and he was an ass just like dear old dad so no one liked him anyway, and he had 0 other family. lucille realized in that moment as she watched his palpable confusion when she extended their newborn child to him that he was going to have a lot of learning and growing to do. she hoped he was ready for it.

god that time there was a station fam barbecue early into herb’s wkrp career and someone, maybe mr. carlson, is like ‘WHO WANTS TO BE THE GRILL MASTER’ like its a big deal and everyone is like oh it has to be herb bc he’s the newest out of us and hes aware all the men see it as a status symbol and he CAN’T be less of a man than another man bc Ego (tm) so hes like of course im the grill master !!! and then panics for the next thirty minutes because he’s literally never even stood next to a grill let alone used one HOW DOES IT WORK the first fifteen minutes he doesnt even have the gas on rip

when herb was, like, 15, he taught himself how to drive a car because one of his “friends” (peers who was a bully that he called a friend and hung out with to stop also getting bullied but who was still bullying him anyway, herb was just brainwashed into thinking that’s what friendship is) wanted them to go out cruising and herb wanted to be a Cool Guy and not look like a chump so he lied and said he could drive. they got pulled over, because of course they did, and herb got in big trouble for you know, driving w/o a licences. the kicker though is that herb didn’t fucking know you can’t drive without a license or that licenses and road tests and drivers ed were even a THING because he literally raised himself and no one ever  t a u g h t   h i m   a n y t h i n g. anyways his dad got called home to deal with it from wherever he was away at at the time and he got in big trouble for interrupting dear old dad’s work anyways so :) what a healthy family

surprisingly, herb DID know how to cook the basics. grilled cheese, pasta, stir fries, a couple casseroles. lucille asked him about it because he was always such a Gender Roles (tm) type of man who wouldn’t even wear a brighter shade of red than like. maroon. in case it got loosely contaminated with the concept of the color pink and he’d have to change his name and move to alaska. so why was he doing a “ womans job “ (cooking) and herb just looked confused and said “what, guys don’t cook?” she told him that no, they usually didn’t and would have laughed at her if she tried to make them, and he laughed awkwardly and absently stirred the pot on the stove and shrugged in mild confusion. “that’s weird. if i didn’t cook i’d have... starved, i guess.”

the bad news is his cooking wasnt GREAT and lucille was happy to take over because again.........self taught. and he has one (1) brain cell so. not Great

LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW ALL CLOTHES DON’T HAVE TO BE DRY CLEANED. his dad literally wore clothes that had to be dry cleaned Every Day (and we wonder why the tarlek family was short on the food budget god) (and they were ugly clothes too akdhfjfg) and ofc if ruby washed her clothes, it was while herb was at school. he dry cleaned so many clothes that do Not Make Sense to dry clean in college before he slowly figured that out.

did not know what an allowance was. bunny asked him for one and not willing to seem stupid to his swift daughter he told her to ‘ask her mother’, who thought it was hecking weird that her money obsessed husband would say that, so she asked him why and after several long minutes he just shrugged helplessly and said “what’s an allowance?”

don’t even get me started on herb and lucille planning their wedding ( ‘what kind of stuff should we put on the gift register?’ “put on the WHAT?”  ‘what are we going to put on top of the cake?’ “there’s gonna be CAKE?”  ‘i can’t wait for daddy to walk down the isle with me, it’ll mean a lot to him’ “your DAD is gonna walk you down the isle....?? but you’re marrying ME, right?”   ) also herb not knowing the wedding look of the bride is supposed to be a Secret and barging into the room w a question or smth while lucille and her bridesmaids are getting ready, and everyone is hella miffed and he’s like WHAT i’ve seen her naked before and theyre all like THATS NOT THE POINT HERB

herb did Not Know about seasonal allergies. he just........didn’t know. he just thought god hated him and every spring and fall his head sprung a leak. and the whole time he was growing up no one A. listened to him complain about them and put 2 and 2 together, nor B. just taught him about basic first aid stuff in general for that matter he doesnt know shit. anyways, then lucille was like why are you such a tough guy just stop complaining and take some medicine for your stupid allergies and he was like take some what for my what now

ANYWAYS herb’s mom left while he was v young and he doesn’t remember much about her. herb’s dad was literally   n e v e r   home. the people herb’s dad left him with would work for obscenely low amounts of pay or owed herb sr. money and largely used all the money for their own food, drugs, alcohol, or other more unsightly business, and left herb alone to fend for himself. this is the disaster human that that produced, thanks, family dynamics! don’t abandon your children, kids, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[libvrtines]

                          hewwo  i’m  felix  ( 20 ,  he / him , gmt )  and  i  just  realised  my  fc  has  no  mf  resources  that  aren’ t from  him  as  a  fetus  and  will  therefore  b  spendin  approximately  all  my  free  hrs  cranking  out  gif  icons  ,  so  lets  get  it  *  pained  laughter  *  !  this  is  my  boy..  except  he’s  not  my  boy  and  i  take  no  credit  for  who  he  is  as  a  person  because  he’s  the  personification  of  a  flaming  dumpster  fire  ,  xu  yuxian  .  his  pinterest  board  is  here  ,  i don’t  have  a  full  amazing  wc  page  but  i  do  have  some  wc’s  beneath..  so  if  u  jus  wanna  stick  around  for  that  i  won’t  blame  u  bc�� otherwise  this  is  just  a  Wreck .   (    i  literally  just  had  to  search  up  my  muses  name  bcs  i  forgot  it  but  i  know  he’s  a  scorpio at  least  so  if  that  is  any  indication  of  how  this  is  gonna  be  then  yeah .  this  is  gonna  be  the  Worst   ) .  drop  a  heart  if  you  would  like  to  plot  ,  or  just  add  me  up  on  d*scord  no anime pls im christian#1950  for  quicker  messages  !  TW  :  mentions  of  drugs  ,  violence  ,  death ,  blood  , manipulation  . 

scanning XU YUXIAN, they are TWENTY FOUR year old and read as CUNNING but DECEITFUL, which explains why they are referred to as the VARMINT. before virtual reality HE was IMPRISONED FOR THE DISTRIBUTION OF DRUGS and living in QUINGDAO, CHINA. they’ve been said to look incredibly similar to HUANG ZITAO, but they’ve never seen it. in this new virtual world, they plan on DOING ALL OF THE CRAZY SHIT HE'S ALWAYS WANTED TO and hope to NEVER GO BACK to reality. 

*    BACKGROUND    !

tl ; dr . “ the best way to solve a problem is just to eliminate it . " in thick accented mandarin. the roar of a bike kicked to life with exhaust pouring out of the tailpipe and the low graveled hum as it idles way past midnight. charcoal ashes and heavy-lidded eyes. teeth stained red from marlboro's and split, bloody lips. baseball bats through car windows, the scrape of a bic as it lights. the smell of cigarettes burned deep into veins. the drag of a knife light across a throat. knuckles blooming purple pressed into nose bridges, a smile with a pair of pliers knocking against porcelain teeth. THIS vine. 

so as formerly stated this is yuxian, the worser half of the xu siblings. disruptive and dangerously reactive to any sort of aggression, he's adapted to a reality reliant on violence and force over patience and rationale. he's an overall shitty guy, with some even shittier habits. street smart and instinctive, his world works in harsh turns and bared knuckled fists. 

dropped out of high-school.. was one of those ‘lunch is my fav class’ kids except he got dragged 2 school by the ear when he was younger and then people just. stopped giving a fuck  ! 

so he did what most boys do in big towns with no proper parental guidance: raised a little hell, drank a lot of alcohol when his liver was barely formed, fixed bikes and engines, and beat up a few rich kids who looked @ him the wrong way. speaks like every mf villain in an anime ever. over-enunciates vowels and suffocates his consonants. acts like the stray he p much is w parents as shitty as his. 

the xu family had earned themselves a nasty reputation in the community they lived in. they're tough, they're intimidating. they do things their way. xu’s speak with their fists and their knives and their brass knuckles and their bats, not known for thinking out their actions before acting out. violent. horrible. the worst People™. 

yuxian’s parents owned and operated a dim-lit, greasy restaurant in the heart of their community, once used to deepen the family's pockets as they sold some choice off-menu items, they were offered a deal by a rich family that bought up their block when yuxian was around 15, selling their enhanced drugs imported from europe behind the grime-coated counter. yuxian saw the $$$ and didn’t think abt how risky it would b, or that they’d be the ones caught red handed if they were ever raided. being able to label himself as a drug dealer just made his reputation in the community go up.. and he was livin la vida loca 

along with working as a drug-runner, he liked to fancy himself as something of a debt collector, making sure to "follow up" with anyone who hopes to evade payment to the family. weapons of choice include a baseball bat to the kneecaps and automatic knives. has he actually hurt anybody ?? absolutely Not. he a puthy ass bitch... but don’t say that to his face unless u wanna end up like that ‘what are u gonna do? stab me? guy who then.. got stabbed 

basically yuxian will do whatever it takes to get what he wants and to survive. he never considers himself a bad guy; he considers herself bold where others find him brash. he thinks that he's tough where he's really just a brute. he's never a bully, it's never unjustified, but if he ever is he doesn’t think much of it bc he’s never gonna change , ygm ?? 

he ended up in prison when he started selling drugs to the rich family’s only son, who lbr, became quite a decent friend to yuxian. the son in question had a bad side - effect to the dodgy drugs they were dealing and died of cardiovascular complications. worst thing is that the last memory xian has of the world before virtual reality is waiting for his parents or siblings to come visit him at but being stood up. next thing he knows he’s in a world where his freedom hasn’t been taken from him and he can. he’s Extremely Bitter, and very Chaotic, my guys. so watch out

*    PERSONALITY   !

honestly and truly, at the end of the day, yuxian is not a good friend to have. xian is not friendly. he will never say the thing you want to hear as opposed to how he is feeling, he'll never sugarcoat anything, he'll never be a listening ear. encouragement and support don't exist here. he is fickle and fair-weathered and will use and use and use until there's nothing left to give. 

self-serving and self-invested to his core, he cares so little it's essentially nonexistent for anyone other than himself. not even his family, given the circumstances. he is opinionated and reactive. volatile. if someone is looking for an influence in their life that will give no fucks and encourage even the smallest whispers of an impulse, yuxian is The One™. 

every bad influence every mother's warned about, everything you know you should say no to: that's her. he has nothing to lose and lives his life accordingly. those in his periphery, he encourages to do the same. respect and admiration are not easily earned. he needs to be impressed. the grander the debauchery, the more points earned. but of course, don't try too hard.. bc that’s corny and he can sniff someone simply trying to impress from a mile away. 

still, to those that he's aligned himself with and chosen to befriend – xian can be loyal the way a snake is to a pack. his trigger-haired temper and baseline defensiveness makes him a good rabid junkyard dog to have in any corner. loyalty is mostly reserved for those who benefit him or to those who serve his best interest – contrary to popular belief, he's not entirely stupid. but definitely has been called a bimbo a minimum of five times in his life. 

simply put, he's a thug. his family has terrorised residents and he hasn't fallen too far from the tree, reaping the benefits of everyone's worst expectations. he's vindictive, manipulative, short-tempered and callous. he'll go to extreme lengths – which often include coercion via intimidation or violence – to get what he wants. he has little regard for other peoples' safety, well-being, or feelings. he lives to ruin lives; not in that fuckboy-esque i'm-going-to-steal-your-gf-and-ruin-your-social-life kind of petty bullshit. he IS a fuckboy but that’s besides the point.. 

every action is based on gut-impulse, acting purely out of unfettered emotion without thinking of what the consequences might be down the line. just pls hate him bc he really deserves it. 

speaking of Love.. with a reputation that followed him from a few years into high school for being tht guy who makes u feel good abt urself then leaves u on read, he's learned to embrace it and accept that people think he just can’t commit. xian is not good in relationships, he doesn't quite know how to show affection in a healthy way. he gets possessive and jealous and easily poisons everything from the inside while trying to sort out the subconscious overbearing fear of this person realising how shit he is or actually realising they’re worth more than his half-assed attempts at affection. so instead he keeps it at an arm's distance before it gets that far. 

*    WANTED CONNECTIONS   !

bad influence ( somebody he is corrupting essentially ) friends who like to crash parties / slum around bars  perhaps people who he knows from before and were aware of his ugly reputation ?? idk this is gonna be an area only open to a few but if they ever lived nearby or in the city where he did then it’s a possibility  ! friends who like to smoke weed behind dumpsters people who he can con  someone who tries to see the good in him but beneath the dirt there’s just more Dirt enemies / frenemies violent low-lives who he can connect 2 on an emotional and physical level fwb / one-night stands / some sort of violent dislike in personality which in turn results in sexual tension  ?

[lavieendonna]

It’s Whatever || l.h. one shot

Requested: YES! thank you anon x  Pairing: Luke + bestfriend!Y/N  Word count: 2.8K holy shit this is the longest thing I’ve written in forever  Summary: luke doesn’t stalk twitter as often as he should 

The rain pelted down on you as you ran down the street, jacket hauled up over your hair since you weren’t wearing a hat and it didn’t have a hood. You stopped at a red pedestrian light but looked both ways quickly before making a run for it anyway. The Starbucks you were meant to be at forty minutes ago was right up the street and you didn’t have time to stand idly in the rain for a total of zero cars to roll on past.

You were panting heavily when you finally crashed through the door of the café, but it only took a few moments and a quick glance around the place to realise that your friends had well and truly left without you. You checked your phone to see if anybody had messaged you, but you already knew before the screen lit up that they hadn’t.

You groaned (louder than you meant to) unsure if you were pissed or upset about it. All you knew for sure was that you were sopping wet, your freshly blown-out hair ruined and your supposedly “waterproof” mascara running down your face.

“I hate my life...” You huffed bitterly, letting yourself sink into an empty loveseat near the front window. You let yourself melt into the warmth, eyes closed and breathing still uneven.

“Hey… are you okay?” Someone near you asked carefully, and you frowned at the question with your eyes still closed.

“Fan-fucking-tastic. What do you think?” You snapped automatically.

“Uh… no?”

When you opened your eyes and sat your head up again a tall blond with a sheepish, pursed lip smile and bright blue eyes were staring at you pretty intensely. Your cheeks blushed as he shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

“Sorry...” You mumbled, sitting up awkwardly so you weren’t draped over the seat ungracefully anymore. “I… I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“It’s fine.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I saw you run in, I just wanted to make sure you were… okay.” He offered another one of those awkward smiles and you rubbed the back of your neck, embarrassed.

“Ah.” You looked away as you flushed even pinker. “Yeah, that was… it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

You glanced back at the taller boy from corner of your eye, completely expecting him to wonder off in deep regret for even thinking of talking to a psycho like you. But he was still standing behind the seat across from you, something like sincerity deep-set in his eyes.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” He offered and a flicker of something fluttered in your chest. You squished it down quickly, though, biting your tongue and fighting the urge to just cry.

“It’s… no, no.” You shook your head. “I’m okay, I don’t wanna bother… you…?” The sentence came out like a drawled-out question as the blond just turned and walked off half-way through. Your bottom lip poked out in a rather childish pout as you watched his back seemingly float away. You gave another huff, sinking back into the cushions of the loveseat.

“Whatever.” You sighed. “Just my luck.”

You were about to gather your things to leave when He came back, side-stepping around the other seat before sitting down in front of you. He sat a silver table number onto the coffee table between the seats along with a plate with a piece of New York styled cheesecake and two cake forks.

“I got time.” He said with a smile, offering you one of the forks.

*  

“Luke. I really don’t think this is a good idea.” You said into the receiver. You were dressed to the nines in a pair of new ripped skinny jeans and a fire truck red strapless top that hugged your curves gently (but still left enough to the imagination). You switched the phone from one ear to the other as you heard Luke groan on the other end of the line.

“Y/N, can you just trust me? Please?” He begged you through a chuckle. You almost heard his eyes roll, right as you rolled your own.

“Why would I do that?” You shot at him as you saw the Uber pull up in front of your house.

“Uh, because I’m Luke fucking Hemmings, remember?” He said and you scoffed. “Hey, don’t scoff at me. That’s what you said at Starbucks.”

“Yeah – like two weeks ago!” You fired back. “Let it go already!”

“I will not, and you willhear about it for as long as you live.” He said matter-of-factly, not even bothering to let you retort this time. “Just, do this for me, okay?”

“Luke…” You sighed, slipping on your flats and grabbing your clutch and keys before stumbling out the door. “Luke, I really don’t want to meet your friends.”

“They’re not just my friends, Y/N.” He said.

“Yeah, yeah. They’re your bandmates– whatever.” You rolled your eyes again. “But what if they don’t like me?” You found yourself biting your lip as you pulled the seatbelt over your chest and smiling to the Uber driver who just nodded politely and started on his way.

“They will.” Luke urged you. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“If you say so.” You tell him, unconvinced.

*

“Y/N! Smile!” Calum wrapped his arms around your neck from behind you as Michael held the camera up in front of you both, giggling away like a child. You narrowed your eyes just knowing he was on snapchat.

“Jesus, Mike, what filter are you using?” You pulled a sidelong look and he laughed again as Calum let you go, sprint around the sofa so he could sidle up to the bottle-blond and look at the phone. Soon enough Calum was giggling too with his tongue peeking out between his teeth.

“Guu-uuyss!” You whined, expertly splitting the word into two syllables. “Don’t make me ugly!”

“I believe the word you’re looking for is ugli-er.” Michael cackled, quickly ducking out of the way as you hurled the cushion you were using as a backrest at him.

“LUKE!” He yelled “Luke, she’s trying to kill me again!”  Michael pulled Calum in front of him to use as a human shield as you threw another pillow at him.

“Hey!” The brunet protested weakly through a laugh, so you threw one more cushion and hit him straight in the gut. He groaned loudly – louder than necessary – and you just laughed.

“Fuck you both.” You rolled your eyes before letting yourself fall back across the sofa, watching the rest of the boys run around with their drinks and their Snapchat while you relaxed.

*

“I believe a congratulation is in order!” Ashton practically bellowed, the words slurring just a little as he raised his red plastic cup in the air. Everybody followed suit with their various cups and cans of liquor, you and Luke looking at each other with arched brows before you looked back to the other tipsy Australian.

“Uh, why?” You laughed as Ashton trained his sights on you, and you flushed red as the other boys all turned to look at you too. It’d been weeks since you’d met them all and you thought maybe you’d get used to that after a while. But no, they were all still a little more than intimidating sometimes.

“Because!” Ashton proclaimed. “You have been in our lives for a couple of months now and as of last night – that we know of – you’ve been GIFed!”

“GIFed!” The other three shouted with their drinks in the air. Your eyes bulged, and your lips weren’t sure if they wanted to make an O or smile.

“I…? Uh, what?!” You stammered and everyone laughed while Calum handed you his phone. You took it quickly, eager to see what the fuck they were on about, and as soon as you turned the iPhone the right side up you saw he’d pulled up a Tumblr page.

Ashton was right. It was a GIF, mostly of Luke at first, but right near the end of the loop was you making a face before being kissed sloppily on the cheek. By Luke. Your cheeks flamed a burning red, eyes still wide as hell. The GIF was from a few nights ago at another one of your secret dance parties at Michael’s place. Calum had been doing one his rare Instagram livestreams and you didn’t realise that he’d caught that on camera. Inside, you were screaming.

But the guys were laughing and they seemed… proud. And happy. So, you let yourself smile and you drank to the toast – and then drank a whole lot more to drown out the memory.

*

‘@Luke5SOS come get ur shit from my house U prick im not doing your laundry’

You laughed at the tweet – it was supposed to be funny. It wasfunny. You knew he would get it.

There wasn’t a lot to get, the asshole really had left a small bag full of clothes at your house the last time he’d visited. Not for any reason, really, but in the months that you’d known him you knew that it was always bound to happen from time to time. He was a busy guy, and obviously you’d already cleaned it all. Shit-stirring was just your thing. Had been for, well, months.

Your phone started to vibrate violently on the kitchen counter a few minutes later, so you turned down the pasta on the stove and wandered over thinking it was Luke calling. The phone was flashing but when you picked it up, it was just Twitter. A lot of Twitter – too many to even count.

Tweet after tweet started rolling through and you frowned, confused. Ever since you’d met Luke you’d gotten used to a few mentions here and there and to the influx of followers on all of your social media accounts. But this was something different, something you weren’t quite familiar with.

You opened the app and your stomach sank as you immediately wished you hadn’t. They were hate tweets, flooding your mentions, all of them ranging from grammar Nazis to actual Nazis. You breath caught in your throat, fingers trembling so much that your phone actually dropped with a loud crackonto the tiled floor.

You knew that there were fans out there that weren’t overly happy with your presence in the lives of their Favourite Boys, but this was something else. Something you never would have thought would happen to you. You felt your bottom lip quiver and you couldn’t stop the small sob that slipped from your lips. Tears fell slowly down your cheeks, and for the first time in months, you were really glad that Luke wasn’t around.

*

“Y/N?”

The boys called for you as they filed in, this week’s secret dance party being held at your place. You jumped, surprised that they were here already. You weren’t expecting them for at least another hour, you hadn’t even gotten dressed yet. You were still sitting in your room in your bath towel, scrolling through your twitter feed.

You tried not to, especially after what had happened last week. And you did well for a few days, you just deleted the app and that was that. You couldn’t see the comments anymore so they couldn’t hurt you.

You just wanted to know if they’d stopped yet. You re-downloaded twitter to check and now, here you were, naked and trying to cover up the fact that you were crying again because you could hear somebody walking down the hallway towards your room.

“Y/N? You in here?” Luke knocked on the door but opened it up anyway, his sense of boundaries with you having disappeared weeks ago. You stumbled with your phone for a few seconds before you finally shoved it under your leg.

“Dude, what the fuck, I’m naked.” You shot weakly with an attempt at a frown. As soon as Luke saw you he frowned back, closing the door carefully and rushing over to you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, worry dripping from his tongue.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” You huffed, shifting uncomfortably on the bed as Luke sat next to you with your legs touching. You tried to move over a little bit to create some space, but you knew your phone would slip out if you did so you just leaned away from him a little bit.

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” Luke said, hand already on your back, carefully placed on the towel instead of your skin. You sniffled and shook your head. “Y/N, what’s up?”

Your throat tightened and you knew that whatever you said next was going to be accompanied by more tears. It sucked. You hated feeling so vulnerable, especially in front of Luke.

“I just…” Your lip quivered and you bit it in an attempt to make it stop. You glanced up at Luke for just a second, but that was all it took to tip you over the edge. You let out a dark laugh as a few tears escaped down your cheeks.

“I feel like an idiot!” You practically wailed, throwing your hands into the air before burying your face in them. You sobbed more than you had before into your hands, letting Luke pull you to him so he could wrap his arms around you properly.

“Hey!” He said in your ear. “Hey, come on, where is this coming from?! You’re not an idiot.”

“I am!” You replied, the words muffled by your hands. Luke pushed you away, hands grabbing your wrists so he could pull your hands away from your face and look into your eyes properly.

“Y/N, stop.” He said carefully, not really scolding you but trying to get you to calm down. You were about to hyperventilate, chest heaving and breaths shallow. “Breathe, bub, come on.” He reached for your face, thumb brushing away new tears spilling over your lash line. “What happened?”

You took a few more seconds to take some deep breaths and steady yourself before you even tried to speak again. You wiped your nose ungracefully on the towel and sighed.

“I… I just feel like I should have seen this coming, you know?” You finally said, so quietly you were almost afraid he wouldn’t hear you.

“Seen what coming, Y/N?” He asked, a frown embedded into his brow. You looked up at him, almost in disbelief but mostly just questioning.

“As if you haven’t noticed.” You deadpanned and Luke just shook his head, still not following what you were trying to say. You took another deep breath and closed your eyes.

“I… I’m getting a lot of… comments made about me.” You finally said the words out loud and it felt like a big weight had already been lifted off of your shoulders. When you opened your eyes, Luke’s face seemed to fall even more. He didn’t say anything though, and a new panic started to rise in your chest as you wondered if maybe he was mad at you now. If maybe that meant you couldn’t be friends anymore.

“Shit, Y/N…” he said after what felt like forever. “Y/N… I’m so sorry.” You sniffed again but shrugged, turning your face away from him so he couldn’t see the new tears pooling in your eyes.

“It’s whatever.” You said nonchalantly, finally feeling just numb enough as you braced yourself for the worse.

“Don’t say that, Y/N.” He seemed to tell you off. “It’s not whatever, it’s fucked up.”

You just shrugged again.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s whatever.”You snapped your head back up to look at Luke and he was frowning again, this time seeming a little angry. “It was bound to happen eventually, alright.”

Luke sighed, arm slinking around your shoulders again. The skin of his wrist brushed your bare skin for a second and you got shivers.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He said, softer now and pulling you closer so that you didn’t really have a choice but to rest your head into the crook of his neck. You gave a final heavy shrug and tried not to let the closeness between you fuck with your heart too much.

“I just… I thought I could handle it.” You told him, almost whispering. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

Luke pressed a kiss to the top of your head and you really hoped he couldn’t feel you flush pink.

“I want to worry about you, Y/N.” He said. “I care about you.”  

[permian-tropos]

TIME TO GUSH ABOUT TLJ cause I was looking through screenshots and here’s a bunch of things I might not have mentioned before and a few that I have

1) Paige Tico!!!! PAIGE TICO! her entire time in the spotlight is such a perfectly crafted, perfectly tense scene

2) UM THE OPENING SPACE BATTLE IS SICK the bombers have such striking silhouettes and this is used for some amazing shots

3) PAIGE’S DEATH BEING PRESENTED AS TRAGEDY (and not being softened heavily with the promise of being part of something meaningful the way R1′s deaths are) 

4) Captain Candy Crush’s death is given gravity too and I stan this, he’s not made sympathetic and still there’s nothing triumphant about people being blown up. war is not good

5) Finn’s pod is very flattering and angelic even though his water suit is silly. he basically has a halo and no filmmaker would accidentally give a character a halo so jot that down

6) Snoke’s throne room being utilitarian AND extravagant at the same time is impressive. also I still love the way that Snoke’s real form was made to be this exaggeratedly WASPy old man with the skin texture and wrinkles and pale tufty eyebrow hair, and you know what else? the fact that the camera favors showing the undamaged side of his face. I fucking stan the fact that Johnson took another disfigured villain and played up his old caucasian grandpa looks and made his disfigurement blend into his age. Snoke is a caricature of horrid old white men, possibly the first successful caricature of whiteness in speculative fiction. he looks like Henry Kissinger

7) Kylo Ren’s bandaid has a pattern on it. we ask ourselves. why. did he get to pick out the pattern. are there multiple patterns. are they all edgy and black. I’m now completely invested in whoever decided that they would have patterned bandaids but not make them TOO fun

8) the movie is so pretty im just. the fuckign. aesthetic. all of it. the palette seems to have been taken from a thunderstorm and it’s perfect. the use of gray is a reason I happen to think people didn’t like the film. they were like what the fuck is all this gray in star wars. star wars shouldn’t be gray. but it’s so unique, it’s not the gray of lazy color grading, it’s the gray of someone who knew that the feeling of haze and uncertainty needed some gray and rolled it in like a fog. I’m going to have to post more screenshots

9) I like the fact that the puppet porgs, as opposed to the CGI porgs, are actually kinda ugly cute

10) everything mark hamill does is perfect. every line, every facial expression, every pose. every moment from luke in tlj is unbelievably iconic. alec guinness would be so jealous 

11) Luke perking up and genuinely smiling when he sees R2D2 is the purest moment I have to just 

my eyes are moist

12) the architecture and set design is so amazing too? I love this shot introducing Rose, the harsh contrast that draws your eye away from her, the way she’s fading into her corner of brownish-gray, it’s so good for evoking... idk, just how the world seems too bright and too stark and made of shapes, after someone you love dies

13) I really love how much time we spend on Ahch-To, and how none of it has any campy space action. you’d expect to see some training there, but a lot of people were clearly hoping that Luke and Rey would leave the planet. but we linger so much on the setting, a setting which wholly embodies Luke’s state of mind

14) old luke is a handsome gent. i don’t see enough people with the hots for old luke. this is a big mistake

15) this shot foreshadows Kylo Ren becoming the Supreme Leader IMO. we see him surveying the war machine, watching the instruments of death be constructed, set apart from everyone -- a glimpse into Kylo’s desire for absolute power without anything being direct. maybe he’s contemplating his isolated existence, how much he doesn’t belong in the Order. or maybe he sees an allure to all this. this is what he wants to possess. it’s probably a mixture of both

16) Rey and Luke!!!!!!! everything about how the film frames them develops their relationship!! even as Luke is testy with her, we get shots like these where they’re sharing a warm sunset light and having deep heart to hearts. 

and you know what you know what what what

the fact that Rey starts asking WHO her parents are after meeting Luke is uhh clearly suggesting that she’s wondering if maybe Luke is her dad. I love in this one shot how he’s slumped and she’s sitting up straighter, making him the vulnerable one. I love how the sunset light highlights Rey’s buns. I love that she keeps her buns for a while. I love that people have headcanoned she kept the buns so that her parents would recognize her, and she has the buns in the whole time she’s trying to get Luke to act like the hero she believes in. like she’s trying to get him to recognize her

Rey adopts Luke as her dad and it’s beautiful get out of my face

17) ye there’s a lot of dead children but also I hadn’t really thought about the fact that R2 watched this as well? and R2 was powered off for so long, until the end of TFA? R2 was traumatized and grieving too, and he’s seen this before, he remembers all the way back to when it was Anakin

18) hors!!!!!!!

19) what the SHIT is this why is this movie a fucking painting why does it keep outdoing itself in paintingness argh the way this film uses the day-night cycle is unbelievable, having Rey and Finn’s stories be connected by having the same time

THE HCKING MOON THOUGH 

20) Ok we could talk about how the cold blue moonlight of uncertainty has become the warm orange light of companionship but we can’t forget what firelight also represents re: Kylo cough burning temple nice little double meaning, is Rey making a new friend or is she being tempted, is he going to warm her or burn her

but also I haven’t thought about how fucking awkward Kylo looks!! is he sitting on that barrel?? like since he’s not there is he just sort of compositing himself into the scene? using a convenient barrel

21) see what I mean about blue being cold. blue = asceticism, red = indulgence, the two extremes 

22) Luke sinks into darkness

23) BUT HE DOES ONE THING! the thing that breaks him out of his depression. he takes the fire -- which represents the burned temple, represents Ben Solo, represents the humanity of the Dark Side -- into his own hands. we see the fire symbolizing destruction, then intimacy, then change, in such short succession

fire represents light-dark, something that is both at once. we’ll get back to this

24) you could say that balance is about making your own light in the darkness

also this is why Poe’s line about being the spark that will burn the First Order down isn’t ~too violent~ cause fire has become a symbol of change, of destruction reclaimed as something restorative, thank you very much 

25) can we talk about the fact that between this being like a coffin and the way Rey is holding the saber, this actually has the heaviest resemblance to the way medieval knights were depicted atop their sarcophagi. I don’t even know what it means but maybe it hints that Rey sees herself as a martyr and a crusader in this quest to redeem Kylo and prove her valor

26) the fact that Poe isn’t the only one who gets in on the coup. because the Resistance isn’t a real military it’s a few thousand antifas gathered from all around the galaxy and their numbers are dwindling fast. people kind of put it all on Poe but Connix and Finn and Rose and this woman and this man and this alien were part of it too, and they could have told Poe to cut it out. I like how the blonde woman seems like she’s not sure what’s going on, she’s evaluating the situation 

27) you know what I stan? I continue to stan aspects of how Snoke is portrayed. I stan the fact that he gets all close up in Rey’s face and grabs her cheek and it kind of mirrors the way Kylo gets in her personal space in TFA but even less so than in TFA, Rey is not framed in the way girls often are when they’re restrained and in distress. when she’s being tortured, we’re not given any tantalizing views of her body. Snoke floating her around the room has her stiff and awkward, and the close-up of her screaming in pain puts the camera behind her head so we see this from her POV, we’re not voyeuristically staring at her, we’re experiencing this indignity with her

28) Kylo Ren killing Snoke has the exact same light on his face as when he killed Han Solo. this is very very interesting

here I am in my corner of Kylo having twisted affection for Snoke as well

29) I wish I could ship this more cause I don’t need all this talk of fairy tale weddings and force pregnancies when here they are slicing up lobster boys with laser swords

30) oh but this is where he makes Rey look sad and thats where!!! you know hes gonna have to pay!!! basically everything about the scene where Kylo tears Rey’s heart out and stomps on it and then asks her to be grateful is extremely well done and it did its intended job of making me Big Mad At Kylo 

also look the fire is back its Symbolic

31) you know what I can’t show in this post? the FUCKING SOUND THAT COMES AFTER THE HYPERSPEED RAM. that sound is the most glorious sound I’ve heard come out of a movie. it’s like a massive metal whale’s death scream. Star Wars has always run on sound design but literally that sound (along with the scene it’s attached to) outdoes everything that has come before it holy wow

32) Finn WHACKING Phasma. he didn’t use a lightsaber in this film, but he uses the baton he picked up the same way he used the lightsaber, and it even glows blue for good measure. and we can’t forget that this movie shows a boy holding a broom like a lightsaber, and Rey practicing saberplay with her staff, so -- objects that are not lightsabers symbolizing lightsabers is a thing 

33) I didn’t think about the fact that the Supreme Leader’s throne room is designed to display a view of the outside, or be cloaked in red. possibly it could display anything it pleases. this is great fun for imagining First Order characters making it display things they want to see, like beautiful vistas, or holofilms. possibly it can recreate whole scenes, like a Star Trek holodeck

34) I don’t have to talk about how Leia is framed by the dawn on Crait do I? we already got the picture when it comes to the day-night cycle and how beautiful it is

35) BABY 8 I can’t believe this droid gets belly scritches and nuzzles from Poe

36) fucking love when Kylo finally snaps and starts throwing petty tantrums again at the end of the film like he holds back his brattiness for 12 hours and then here comes the screaming and foot stamping and flailing

I have thrown too many temper tantrums in my life to not want to see one on the big screen in its full glory. no one has pushed him to the point where he’s just ugly crying on the floor, spewing snot and tearing at his hair

I got vicarious pleasure out of Poe’s outburst on the bridge too. people being angry and not being in the right. it’s something I need for catharsis

37) miniaturized Death Star technology aka BIGGEST LIGHTSABER. Kylo stop compensating

but AU where a ginormous person uses the cannon as an actual saber

38) I’VE TALKED ABOUT HOW FINN’S MOMENT IS IN MY TOP TWO FEELS MOMENTS (top one is the hyperslice) but basically if you don’t think he was affected by seeing the slave kids on Canto Bight, what do you think he’s so angry about here, what do you think has him in a blinding rage?

why do movies have to spell everything out for people in exhaustive detail? the only new thing Finn gets from his experience with Rose, is seeing how the First Order isn’t this isolated enclave of evil. the most powerful people in the galaxy have been supporting it all along. he stops trying to run away because he realizes there is nowhere he can run that won’t have injustice. and he’s seen villagers being massacred, he’s seen the Order attack people he cares about, he’s been personally threatened and had one-on-one duels, but on his trip with Rose he sees children being beaten into submission with electric whips

can’t believe people think Finn wasn’t affected by that when it’s the one thing motivating his character growth

every time he sees civilians getting hurt -- children and families -- he sees himself and the family he’ll never know in them, and is so overwhelmed that he does something brash and radical and self-endangering every time, and his arc is about learning to live with that anger. he runs away from feeling and his angst is so beautiful

and I’m still in the camp of Finn having had a Zuko-like arc when he was a teenager because that boiling frustration at not being able to express his natural empathy is what drove Zuko to angst so hard

FINN IS THE SOLIDARITY KING! HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH 

39) fire. Luke facing his demons involves him walking through a gate of flame, out of the darkness, into the light

I will say that this is also very Buddhist imagery -- the flaming sword symbolizes wisdom, which cuts through the veil of illusion, specifically the illusion of duality

“Mañjuśrī is depicted as a male bodhisattva wielding a flaming sword in his right hand, representing the realization of transcendent wisdom which cuts down ignorance and duality”

and of course fire being the bridge between light and dark has come up before in the film. the veil is visibly burning here, Luke having fully reclaimed the image of fire, which was earlier in the film held by Kylo Ren 

I mean. just. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

40) something about this shot is extra special. everything that’s going on on the salt flats is like on this higher dimension, this spiritual plane 

41) for a moment it looks like Luke and the First Order are standing against Kylo. gives you a glimpse into Kylo’s state of mind. is the Order his weapon, or his enemy? it’s both, and he’s absolutely terrified of it

also I’ve talked about how Palpatine’s Contingency plan is about getting revenge on his Empire because he hates its power as much as he revels in it, and he dedicates a good deal of time plotting ways to kill it, because he needs to prove that he is more powerful than it

being the Emperor or Supreme Leader carries with it the distinct horror of knowing that you can never be more powerful than the thing that has empowered you

42) 

43) Luke achieving 100% maximum Buddhist allegory

44) the slope of the floor is the slope of the opening crawl of a Star Wars film 

all right that’s all folks

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld: Conar’s Ambition, Chapter 1, Draft 1

           It was another uneventful day in Slog Hut 1884. Little Sloggies were being raised and trained. Food was brought in by the Mudokon Scrubs, and sometimes they would act as surprise treats for well-behaved, or simply fortunate, Slogs. Of course, they also had to clean up after the animals. The Sligs were too busy training them and making sure the Scrubs knew their place. They had a place to fill and a payroll to maintain.

Conar sighed as he punched in. Not that he didn’t enjoy his job; the visor, gun, and mechanical legs were the dream of any Slig. He was also fond of the Slogs. They were vicious, loud, and smelled awful, but there was something endearing about them.

But was it really worth being a nobody in a glorified animal pen? Making next to nothing overseeing both the future guard Slogs and the Mudokon janitors?

Eugh. Maybe he’d feel better if he caught a Scrub doing something wrong. Physical therapy was relaxing, he heard.

He walked out to the pens, passing several ravenous Slogs. They seemed to stare at him intently, but Conar knew they’d be trained and focused killing machines soon, and would be shipped off to Rent-a-Cop stations everywhere.

And Conar would remain assigned here. Maybe he’d be lucky and get a promotion from Slog Hut Corporal to Slog Hut Sergeant, but he’d still be here, just with a shinier pair of Slig Pants and maybe a small raise.

He shook his head. Sligs were supposed to know their place; it was part of the deal. What could he even accomplish if he had his things taken away? Crawling around without Slig Pants to hold him up, totally defenseless against people who would squash him after one look at his hideous unmasked Slig face.

He came up to his coworker, and gave a standard, professional greeting.

“Whaddap, you slime-skinned bastard?”

“Piss off,” came the return greeting. Conar’s colleague turned around, and only a Slig could see a grimace on another’s be-tentacled face, rather than casual boredom.

“Whoa. What’s gotten into ya, Wiren?”

“You ugly AND stupid?” came the tart response. “Boss is comin’ for a visit.”

Conar groaned. He completely forgot, but Wiren was right. Their Glukkon manager Zeb was gonna throw his weight around some today. Their pay was likely to be docked, but maybe it would sting a little less as they all sucked up to him.

“Well,” Conar said, hopefully, as they did last-minute patrol rehearsals, “the Anum Press said that we were sellin’ more Slogs than ever before. That oughta impress ‘im!”

Wiren shook his head. “Stocks been takin’ a hit since the Rupture farms fire. I don’t get it either, but the boss said sales don’t matter.”

Conar thought about this. It didn’t make sense. Gazillions of moolah and the stocks were crap?

They were stationed by the front-facing pens, so there wasn’t much to their patrol routes. They just had to make sure the scrubs were doing their jobs. A few shouts at and smacks upside the heads of the hapless Mudokons seemed like it was enough.

Conar felt his worries melt away as he enforced some discipline on them. It was what he was born for, after all.

“You call that feedin’?!” he demanded, hitting the back of one hapless Mud carrying an enormous bag of Slog chow. “You ain’t eating until all o’ the Slogs have! Now MOVE IT!”

The Mudokon grunted, stumbling a little on his path.

Conar heard Wiren behind him, repeatedly beating on one of the scrubs with the butt of his gun. He sighed. He’d be called a Mud-lover for weeks, but he never understood why his coworkers went to town when a simple jab or smack would do. Not that he cared about anyone under his charge, by any means – no self-respecting Slig employee would. No; it just didn’t make sense. If the Mudokons were here to work, they should be in decent condition so they can get it done.

With that in mind, he shoved Wiren to the side.

“What the hell? I was getting’ ‘im good!”

“Yeah, yeah, save some for the rest of ‘em. Now c’mon, we got a pissed-off Gluk to worry about.”

Wiren grumbled, moving back on path. Conar heard him grumble something about “no fun” and “scrub softie”.

Anyway, there was also the matter of which Slogs to showcase in the front pens. Neither Conar nor Wiren were in charge of those decisions, but it was known that they would need to help get the loudest, most vicious Slogs to the front. Obedience was the real goal, sure, but nothing impressed clients more than a slavering maw on legs ready to tear them a new one, apparently. Maybe they fantasized about those teeth ripping apart those beneath them.

Conar couldn’t reflect on this. Not only did he have the boss coming in, but he had the more pressing issue of one of the escorted Slogs breaking off its chain, and it was making a beeline for him. Without thinking, he turned to flee. He’d seen what happened to those who shot and missed. He’d rather step into the Recycler than suffer that.

The guffaws from his colleagues echoed in his mind as he ran, even though he would likely be doing the same any other day if one of them got into this. The laughs were being drowned out by the furious barks of the Slogs, but it was clear the other Sligs weren’t about to wrangle the animal until he gave this show an ending. He just had to get to the ladder, and he’d be fine. Hopefully, his co-workers could help get the thing back into its pen.

The Slog was fast, but Conar had a head start, and was quickly able to get to the ladder. He started to climb for safety, but a sudden weight and cheers from the other Sligs told him the Slog had clamped itself onto one of his mechanical legs. He looked down and, yup, the thing had its teeth imbedded into his lower leg. His joint whirred as he tried to shake the red thing off, but it held fast.

“It smells the Mudokon on ya!”

Wiren’s crack caused ripples of laughter across the workforce. Even Conar heard a chuckle come out of himself. You had to have a sense of humor at work.

Finally, after much shaking, the Slog slipped off its own saliva, grunting as it landed on the floor. Conar quickly clambered higher before it could focus on jumping at him again. The Slog was still snarling and snapping in his direction, and no one was too eager to move close.

Conar sighed. Seemed he would have to do this himself.

“Open that pen!” he yelled to a Scrub who was on cleanup duty in it. Without question, the Mudokon opened the gate. So there was that, at least, but the Slog wasn’t exactly inclined to go into the pen. Okay, lessee…

Moving carefully around the second floor, Conar guided the Slog into the pen, and shouted for the same Mudokon (he believed the scrub’s name was Mike) to close it. Mike made a mad dash out as the Slog shifted its attention to him, and quickly slammed the gate back shut.

“Right,” Conar said, as the other Sligs groaned. “Show’s over. Let’s try to make the boss happy for once.”

The rest of the time was spent trying to get everything perfected. Of course, there were a variety of stains on the floor the Muds could not scrub out, no matter how many whacks and threats they got from their managers. The tiling was still an ugly green, the Recycler looked as rusty and bloody as ever, and the back room with all the Slog huts was just too poorly-lit.

Still, the facility looked…at least a little more presentable. The Slig patrol routes were memorized down to each step, their guns were full and ready, the Mudokons were compliant, and the Slogs were not only safely contained, but slavering for anyone stepping out of line.

Everything was set up just in time – Zeb’s valet had come, clad in cheap brass armor and wielding a sizable hand cannon, to announce the boss’ arrival. Every other Slig’s posture unconsciously straightened around this higher-ranked one as he said “All right, you slack-jawed Stunkz, listen up! Zeb is here, and he’s already pissed, so make his day!”

Behind the valet/bodyguard, the unmistakable silhouette of a Glukkon stood. Orange eyes looked around, scowling as they searched for problems. Waddling forward, into the light of the Sloghut’s lobby, he revealed his unfeatured, deep blue suit, with a pin at the lower stomach area signifying his recent favor with the Magog Cartel.

Conar remembered the ceremony – very boring if you weren’t a moneymaker.

Zeb’s unusually thin mouth chomped on a small Sickly Smooth cigar – not a super-premium choice, but a far cry from the cheap Lungbuster cigarettes the middle management and security forces used. He waddled through the facility on a pair of shiny black dress shoes, barely acknowledging the saluting and bootlicking from his security, or even the cowering and sniveling from his Mudokon Scrubs.

He walked all the way to the back, and went up to the bulletin board, humming tunelessly as he assessed the personnel numbers.

“Oy!” he finally shouted, turning to the nearest Slig (Gurol from Slog training). “Explain why we have retired employees!”

“Ah, erm, sorry, boss! Some of the younger Sloggies are still teething, but…”

Gurol looked up at the board, reading the numbers.

“…That can’t explain all of ‘em, boss,” he noted. “We only ‘ad one Slig and a coupla workers get attacked back here…”

           “You serious?” Zeb asked, shaking his head. “You lot don’t know how much it costs to replace ya – you can’t even keep track of each other?”

           “Sorry, boss, but I’m in Slog trainin’. Maybe one of the front-facing guys can explain it.”

           The Glukkon turned to his valet and nodded. There was a little bit of spring to the Slig’s step as he marched back to the front of the facility, where the guards were patrolling once more.

           “You there!” he called out, grabbing the attention of the nearest Slig, who happened to be Wiren. “Boss wants answers!”

           Conar was about to follow as well, but he bumped into the valet’s outstretched hand.

           “Yer not desertin’ your post, Scrub-watcher. I just need the one.”

           “Yessir…”

           Conar couldn’t help but to chuckle a little as Wiren tentatively followed the high-ranking Slig. At least he wouldn’t be facing the boss’s wrath. He just hoped his co-worker wouldn’t cost him any of his pay.

           In the meantime, he knew that if anything worsened up here, it’d be on his head. So back to patrolling it was. He had to make sure the Mudokons didn’t relax just yet. Besides, he needed to keep his mind off the risks he might face. He could have his pay cut, get a reassignment to one of the worse Slog Huts, or even be fired and sent to Skillya as a soup ingredient.

           None of that. Focus on the job.

           Step, step, turn, step, step, step, hit Mudokon, step, turn…

            He had to give the Scrubs credit; the floor was less rough and grimy than it should have been.

           Step, step, hit Mudokon, turn, step…

           The Slogs up front seemed calmer, though the one that harassed him earlier still faced him at all times. It was less intimidating, but at least they were all still alert.

           Step, step, turn, step step…

           Okay, what was taking Wiren so long? He couldn’t keep concentrating on stepping and smacking Mudokons upside the head. He was supposed to start on his break ten minutes ago, and he really needed a Lungbuster, but if he left now, no one would be watching this Odd-forsaken floor, and he’d get chewed out for that. He just had to keep focus for a little while longer, that was it.

           Not like anything ever happened…

           The minutes stretched on and on, as did Conar’s need for a smoke. Nothing was happening, as usual, and his mind screamed that his break should happen now, if not sooner. Normally he wouldn’t have an issue just lighting up on his patrol, but it wasn’t technically allowed, for reasons Conar had trouble understanding. Everyone did it when the boss wasn’t around, and he wasn’t around often at all.

           Screw it. He was going to step outside. The Scrubs could take care of themselves for a minute.

               He was almost to the door when he felt a presence behind him. He turned, and winced as he saw those dress shoes tapping impatiently under that suit. Conar could hear that valet snickering behind him.

               “Uh, hi Boss. Just goin’ on break.”

               “Mhm. And I guess you’re leaving the Scrubs on their own, when there’s A KNOWN TERRORIST ON THE LOOSE?!”

               The secondhand smoke as Zeb leaned forward to get into Conar’s face wasn’t enough to satiate his needs, but it did help clear his head for a moment.

               “…But boss, that Abe guy was last seen at Rupture Farms, right? That’s nowhere near here!”

               “FEECO IS ON A COMPLETE LOCKDOWN RIGHT NOW!”

               “What?! When did that happen, boss?”

               “Watch the news for once, you insignificant ! It was just on an hour ago!”

               “Sorry, boss,” Conar said, shaking his head. “I was workin’ then. Couldn’t watch the tube.”

               “Well,” Zeb sneered, “the ‘tube’ says that that blue Mudokon bastard’s gonna try to break into Soulstorm! Is that close enough for you to take your job seriously?!”

               A cheer came from behind Zeb, cut short by a hand going over his mouth. It was one of the Scrubs, and Conar recognized him as the one he called “Slim”. Yeah, he probably had a name, but he was noticeably lankier than other Mudokons, and a little bit taller and thinner for it. Even his cap looked a little taller on his grey head. His yellow eyes quivered as Zeb’s valet spun around in an instant.  

               “Y’see?” Zeb said, over the sounds of punches and grunts. “We gotta keep ‘em in line in these trying times! If someone like that Abe guy shows up, who knows what’ll happen?! Moolah’s already tight as it is!”

               Conar had, just the other day, saw in the Daily Deception how Zeb and his associates at other Slog Hut chains gave themselves sizable bonuses this quarter. He silently thought about this.

               “Now, since your worthless co-worker couldn’t answer me, maybe you can …WHY ARE WE HAVING EMPLOYEES RETIRED!”

               “It ain’t my fault, boss! Idiots keep stepping into the Recycler!”

               He pointed to a giant fan of rusty blades that was on the wall opposite them. It was an effective way of making Slog chow, but all it took was one wrong step for the blades to start, and the suction power of the machine was insane. There wasn’t any way to turn the sensor or the fan off, either.

               “Well maybe if you bums didn’t try to sneak outta work, accidents could be prevented!”

               “It was past time for my break, boss…”

               Conar immediately winced, realizing who he said this to.

               “With your pay, I’d think you’d need the extra work time… LIEUTENANT!”

               The valet stopped beating Slim and was at his boss’ side in an instant, holding a notepad. “Yes, sir!”

               “Take a note! This incompetent Slog Hut is getting half pay.”

               “Already on it, sir!”

               Conar sighed. He could already guess who was going to have to deliver the news.

               “Oh, and there are gonna be some longer hours ‘round here… these upstart Mudokons need some closer watching. All hands on deck, at all times.”

               “Yes, sir,” Conar said, trying his best to keep his voice neutral.

               The lieutenant finished writing down everything, humming to himself the whole time. He pulled out a rubber stamp, signing the note on his boss’ behalf, before handing it to Conar. He read everything over, and his tentacles sagged as he saw Zeb nod at him. He started to walk over to the back, as he heard the boss and crony start to walk out the door. He overheard a little bit of their conversation as they left.

               “Smart way to save Moolah, sir!”

               “Just a few more cost cuts and Ma’s sure to be proud!”

               Slim gave Conar a weary look and slowly got to his feet. He was shaky, but he walked over and extended a hand for the note.

               “Wha…?”

               “C’mon,” Slim sighed, “I know you’re gonna have me tell ‘em anyway.”

               Conar looked at the note in his hand, then back to Slim. The guy already took a wallop, and such news would make him an outlet for Slig rage. Conar would enjoy the view as much as the next guy, but really, they were down enough workers as-is, and delivering news like these pay cuts was a good way to get a Mud thrown into the Recycler. Besides, the guy still had to clean up after the Slogs.

               “You tellin’ me my business?” Conar demanded, slapping the Scrub in the face. “Ya still gotta get the Slog crap!”

               He watched Slim carefully. The Mudokon’s eyes were wide as he rubbed his cheek, and it looked like he was trying not to smile from gratitude. Conar couldn’t stand it; he was a supervisor, dammit, not a caretaker!

               “And pick yer hat up! We got uniforms for a reason, and I don’t wanna see your ugly bald head!”

               That seemed to snap him out of it. Slim nodded and ducked to get his cap back on.

               The other Sligs reacted as well as could be expected. A lot of groans and pointing fingers echoed across the back room. Several Lungbusters came out and the room was quickly full of little red lights. The foul-smelling Slog Hut barely changed its smell. The Scrubs winced instinctively before the Sligs began to resume their duties their way. If the boss wasn’t around, why not? And they had a lot of stress they needed an outlet for…

***

               It wasn’t much longer until quitting time anyway. Conar didn’t mention that they were just being used as a ploy for Margaret favor; what would be the point? He was pretty sure everyone already knew. He simply waited in line to silently clock out. His fellow Sligs were already chatting as if nothing had happened, talking about different kinds of guns, grenades, and liquor. Not that Conar didn’t enjoy those things, but the boss had given him a lot to think about.

               No one noticed as Conar hailed a cab home. He’d normally hit the bar with his colleagues on days like this, but he wasn’t really up to the hell he’d get for delivering the news. He remembered the laughs he had when some other chump had to give the update. No Scrub was available, so the sucker was stuck paying on top of being raked over the coals after work was over.

               Conar was sure he’d still have to do that, but he wasn’t in the mood today. He just wanted to lie in bed for a bit, maybe watch some Name That Trauma, and get himself ready to endure another day. Thankfully, the Mudokon driving the cab knew to drive fast. Yelling at Scrubs was great, but it wore at the throat after a long workday.

               The cab stopped at a part of the city where a lot of Sligs lived. It wasn’t hard to tell, what with it looking like a barely-controlled war zone. Scorch marks, shrapnel, and bullet holes were everywhere. There was the smell of not only gunpowder, but also chemical weapons that were tested here. Even the Mudokon that dropped him off had a rag over his face ready. Conar never got it; every Slig knew the gas weapons were weak stuff. The Mudokons were just chumps, but that was no surprise.

               Conar pulled a keycard from a compartment on his pants’ waist, stepping over a broken mask and a discarded blunderbuss on his way to the apartment gates. He shouldn’t have bothered; he could see that someone smashed the lock again, and a couple of Sligs were working on it. One of them nodded absently while Conar just strolled in through the gate. Obviously, they weren’t security detail. They didn’t have the guns for it.

               No, once again the guy at the front desk had a pistol ready, loudly demanding to see the keycard of anyone coming in. Conar rolled his eyes as he showed his. The clerk grumbled, but let him in. Conar could tell the offending Slig was already taken care of; the clerk grumbled about “only gettin’ to take one shot” as he climbed the stairs.

               It was otherwise uneventful getting to his apartment, but Conar groaned as he opened the door. Ratz had gotten in. The place was more of a mess than normal, and green glowing eyes gave him a shudder. He knew it was a real load, but he couldn’t shake the feeling they were watching him, and taking mental notes for… something. He just wished they took notes of the gunfire that came their way when he came in. It was getting expensive for multiple reasons.

               And there was a reason outside of the bullets – this time he blew a hole into the wall. He could see his neighbor shooting out of bed with a start, turning towards him.

               “What the hell?!

               “Ech, Ratz,” Conar explained, taking another potshot.

               His neighbor rolled over, reaching for something.

               “No, don’t,” Conar said, shaking his head. “They’re already gone.”

               The neighbor sighed, carelessly dropping his gun again, and pulled the sheets over himself again.

               Conar walked over, and dragged his gun locker to cover the hole he made. He did not need this after a pay cut. What he needed was to unwind and turn the tube on. It took time to find the remote and dig through the fridge for some Paramite Pies, but it would be worth it for the season finale of Name That Trauma. It was always fun to see the Mudokons squirm and scream, and this one promised to have the most exciting and elaborate tortures.

               Thankfully, he got the TV on in time. Just at the end of the title card.

               It was a fine season finale, but Conar felt it was less creative and exciting than last season. It just wasn’t as fun when the Mudokons passed out before anyone could even answer.

               Still, it was good for taking his mind off things. He was able to guess along with the contestants, and more correctly than they were. He wished he was there on one of the podiums, because obviously none of the Glukkons, Sligs, or Vykkers they pulled from wherever worked security detail. He’d be able to retire a happy Slig. Hell, he could probably host. He’d put up with wearing that stupid fake toothy grin and gaudy wig if it meant he had moolah to throw around because people guessed things right.

               The Terminal Trauma round arrived. Conar was hopeful; they always saved the craziest and most challenging torments for last, and he hoped this would live up to expectations. Last season involved four different assaults on the Mudokon, one on each limb. How would the ante be upped this time?

               The hapless Mud shivered in the spotlight. His eyes darted nervously, as the crowd waited with bated breath. Two Sligs emerged from either wing of the stage, and the curtain came down…

               And that’s when an emergency bulletin from Magog on the March came on. Conar groaned; he knew that they’d be selling the season finale at an inflated price, and wouldn’t be doing reruns.

               “Special bulletin from the Magog on the March – news you can’t abuse!” the newscaster began. “Mudokon terrorist Abe was seen in Slig Barracks. General Dripik declares martial law!”

               The broadcast cut to a shot of the Glukkon general, surrounded by microphones at a press conference. Any Slig who graduated the Barracks could recognize him.

               “No mamby-pamby Mudokon meat puppet’s gonna make me look like a fool!” he barked. It was a similar inflection to the one he had at Conar’s class graduation speech, which was surreal to say the least. “We’ll have that traitor Abe in no time, or my name ain’t….uh…”

               All the brave resolve and vicious spittle stopped, as his one real eye looked around nervously. His brow furrowed.

               “Er…”

               “Dripik, sir,” Conar said, automatically. He could hear a chorus of the same coming from other apartments.

               Apparently, someone there reminded him too, as he perked up and repeated “DRIPIK! …I knew that, I-I did…”

               Conar sighed as the broadcast’s sponsor came on, M.O.M. ended, and it abruptly cut back to the credits of the game show. There went that highlight of the day.

               Amazing how some random Mudokon could have the big shots shaking in their expensive dress shoes. Abe had to have had that effect; why else would M.O.M. deal with this? Yet, such a powerful figure would be a humiliating way to be ruined? Sure, he was a Mudokon, but he’s the one who caused the Rupture Farms fire!

               “…gonna make me look like a fool!”

               Those words echoed in his head as Conar turned off the TV. He hadn’t put his mask or Slig Pants away yet; he was too distracted with the gears slowly turning in his head. Zeb seemed to be pretty scared of any of his Scrubs following in Abe’s footsteps, even as he and everyone else called them inferior.

               He looked at his pistol. He realized that Zeb might have the Moolah, but Conar might have the power to take it away.

               Of course, he mused, pacing around, he couldn’t do it alone; any Glukkon worth his suit had loyal security of some kind, who would eliminate any threat, no questions asked. He might become a very rich Slig, but he’d also be a short-lived one.

               The scary thing with that Abe guy is no one knew how he did it. How did he cause the Rupture Farms fire with nothing but a loincloth and a feather to his name? Surely if one Mudokon could cause such a ruckus, another could help him raise hell, too…

[steveharrington-imagines]

Fine Lines (brother!Steve Harrington x Reader)

Summary: "what happened, kiddo?”

Warnings: self harm, bullying- please don’t read if these are triggering topics for you!)

"Y/N, come on! You're going to be late!" your brother shouted through the door of your bedroom, waking you from your slumber.

You sat up straight, your hair a mop atop your head. "Okay, I'm up!" you shouted, sitting up to stretch. Within minutes, you had grabbed your clothes and ran to the bathroom. You stripped out of your pajamas and stepped into the shower, standing under the hot spray. "Shit," you hissed as it stung your wrists.

You looked down at the fresh cuts that dotted your wrists, the ones you added at 2 am the previous night. Despite the pain searing throughout the irritated skin, you hurried throughout your shower, rushing to get out.

After drying off, you got dressed in your favorite pair of jeans and a mustard yellow sweater. You finished your routine in record time, slipping on your tennis shoes and racing to the kitchen where Steve was waiting,

"Morning," you greeted, sitting across from him at the table. "Hey sleeping beauty," he muttered through a mouthful of toast. "Almost ready to go?" you asked before taking a piece of toast for yourself. "Yeah," he said, shoving the rest of the bread down his throat. He pushed his chair back, gathering the plates and wordlessly offering you the last piece.

"No thanks," you declined, smiling as you went to grab your bag while eating your toast. The sound of Steve rinsing off the dishes sounded through the House.

"Ready?" he shouted, sorting through keys. "Yeah!" you called back as you walked to the front door. "Let's go, kiddo," he murmured as you walked by, giving your head a soft pat. You hopped in the passenger seat while he locked the door.

He joined you and pulled out of the drive, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. "Did mom and dad come home last night?" you asked. Steve clicked his tongue. "Sorry- they should be home tonight though."

You nodded, taking a deep breath. Out of habit, you pulled your sleeves over your hands, heat rising to your cheeks.

"Cold?" he checked, "oh, uh, yeah," you lied, turning to stare out the window just as you pulled up to the school. "Have a good day- I'll see you at 3:15," he said with a smile.

You held your fist up, smiling as he bumped his against it. "See you tonight," you said as you exited the car. You watched as he drove away before entering the building.

Your feet tapped against the tile floor as you walked down the crowded halls. With a few minutes to kill, you trudged to your locker. After turning the combination and opening the door, you tried to block out the voices behind you.

"Look at her," one of the boys whispered loudly enough for you to hear. "People only like her cause of her brother."  You had just gotten your textbooks out when a large hand slammed the door closed. You let out a gasp as its owner shoved you against the lockers roughly, pinning you there with both of his arms.

"Hey there, Harrington," he breathed, staring down at you like a predator to prey. "Tony-" "Shh, mouth closed. You look better that way," he said. You glared at him despite your quivering chin. "Aw, c'mon baby- as ugly as you are, who else will treat you like this?"

In a burst of courage, you pushed him away just in time to run to class. You blinked away tears from your waterline, slinking into the classroom alone.

•

The day progressed as normal from there. Three o'clock arrived sooner than you thought, signaling the final bell to ring.

You went back over to your locker, gathering your bag. Footsteps echoed behind you, prompting you to pack faster. "Harrington," Tony sing -songed as he came up behind you. His shadow cast upon the otherwise empty hallway. "I've gotta go," you mumbled, trying to get past.

He wrapped a fist around your forearm, his fingers digging into your cuts. You hissed, pulling back. "What's the matter, dumbass?" he began. "Are you gonna go slit your wrist?" Tears welled up again, and you jerked away , successfully sprinting out of the building.

You wiped your glassy eyes on your sleeve as you spotted Steve's car in the lot. Your feet slapped against the asphalt as you ran to his vehicle. Tony watched from the concrete steps as you escaped.

"Hey-" he started. "Please, drive," you sputtered through tears. "What happened?" "Please!" you repeated. You sobbed as he drove home, brow furrowed in confusion. "What's going on, kiddo?" he asked softly, reaching over to rub your back.

His touch, while soothing, brought more tears to your eyes. "I can't do it, Steve," you whimpered. "Do what?" he asked as he pulled into the driveway. "Anything," you dismissed before sniffling. As soon as he parked, you grabbed your house key and bag before running to the door.

Steve watched sadly as you ran inside. What had happened, he wondered? He couldn't push away his feelings if concern as he rubbed his eyes with his palms in exasperation. With a sigh, he slipped into the house.

You had been in your room long enough to pull your razor blade  from under your mattress. Your hands trembled as you pressed the metal into your skin, holding your breath to stay silent. The new cut stung as you slowly pulled it to the right, watching as it crossed your veins. Blood pumped from the wound, smearing across your skin.

Your tears mixed with the thick, red liquid. After repeating the action twice more, you sighed and shoved the weapon back under the mattress. You laid down atop the purple bedding, ignoring your still-bleeding wrist, pulsing and numb. You continued to cry, allowing yourself to drift off in a dreamless sleep.

-

Steve stood outside your door, his fist hovering in front of the wood. He wanted to check on you, but didn't want to invade your space. Defiantly, he shook his head. 'This is silly,' he thought to himself, rapping his knuckles against the door.

He was met with silence. "Y/N?" he called, concern rising to his throat.

You stirred from your sleep with a jump, pulling your sleeves over your knuckles. "Just a minute!" you rasped before scrambling out of bed. You combed through your hair with your fingers, making yourself more presentable. "Come on in!" you called while straightening your shirt.

Steve slowly pushed open the door, peeking around the corner. "Hey," he said softly.

You smiled weakly as he sat beside you on the bed, by your pillows. "Hi." "So um, what happened today?" he asked. “It's nothing, just emotional I guess."

His eyes bore into the side of your head as you stared at your toes diligently. "Y/N, is someone hurting you at school?" he asked sternly, resting one hand on your shoulder and one on your pillow. “No, it's f-" "Whoa," Steve interrupted, staring at his palm.

Your face burned as you looked at the red liquid covering both your pillowcase and his hand. Slowly, your brother turned to face you, brows furrowed in concern.

"What happened?" he asked immediately, inspecting your rigid form. "I don't know," you lied, turning slightly to further hide your wrist. “Y/N," Steve said, a crack in his voice. Your eyes remained on your toes. "Kid, please, let me in."

You flickered your gaze up to meet his hurt one. "I p- I promise, nothing's go-going on," you said through sniffles, few tears slipping down your heated cheeks.

Steve sighed before pulling your head into his chest, smoothing your hair as you cried into his green sweatshirt. “Im sorry," you whimpered, pulling back enough to wipe your eyes, exposing your bloody sleeve.

Immediately, Steve pulled your wrist to his face. He gently pulled back your sleeve to reveal cuts, old and new. "Y/N," he whispered, running his thumbs over the welts.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his wounded eyes flitting to meet yours. "I couldn't," you said, feeling shame crawling under your skin.

"I'm your brother- I'm always here, I always have been. Why was this a better option?" he begged. You shook your head helplessly. “I need help, Stevie," you cried, wiping away more tears.  "I know, and I'm here for you," he soothed before pulling your head back into his chest.

His tears fell in your hair as you held on to him, finding solace in his familiar form. "I'm sorry," you admitted. “No, no, it'll be alright, we're going to be ok." He paused to look down at your shivering body before repeating himself. "We're going to be ok."

[saintkimora]

ok……..here is the long awaited post of what happened on saturday night! (Last Saturday night btw not yesterday night) ive been too busy to post about it until now but it is juicy

so as i said on saturday, joel and i were texting on and off that day but it was weird as usual. so after i showered i wrote out a text to him saying that even though we havent been communicating much recently i still miss him and think about him all the time and that i appreciate the chances i do get to talk to him. so i sent this message but literally the second it sent i got a message from him. like we sent our texts at the same time. so i started reading his text and it started with “perry……im really sorry but what we have isnt working out” skafjhkajdhfkjads so i felt like a jolt in my legs and had to sit down. so he sent this long ass breakup text and here are the basic points that he used

he isnt ready for a relationship/exclusivity (even though HE was the one who literally deleted all his dating apps the day after we met bc he wanted to focus on pursuing me)

he hasnt been making the effort and i deserve someone who does

he hasnt been opening up and he is aware of that bc he knows he isnt ready

i deserve someone who is in a better place in their life than he is rn/someone who has their stuff together

i dont deserve what hes putting me through

he wants time to be single and make mistakes and regret them (stupid ass reasoning btw)

he knew using texts was the wrong way to end it but he wasnt strong enough to do it in person

he apologized if i feel like i wasted my time on him/if i regret anything ive done w him (since the last time i saw him before this was when i had sex with him)

hes sorry that he isnt treating me better

not my fault at all

so yeah that was the text! i didnt even read it fully until later on like i skimmed it and called him immediately and asked if we could talk in person (ofc i got all choked up trying to ask and almost started crying over the phone) so he said yes he owes me that much so i grabbed my tissue box, tried to put on my shoes (my mom had to help me bc i was shaking too much) and drove to his apartment and then sprinted to his apartment from where i parked a block away. i got there and his roommates werent home so it was just him. he opened the door and i said hi and he let me in and it was v solemn so we went into his room and sat on his bed and this is where the drama really started

so i was like “can i have a hug” and he was like “yes” so we hugged and i started crying. so we hugged for a while and then we separated and i was like “ok so explain why you want to end this” so he started explaining it to me. i was crying and he was crying too but i was crying more obv! i was like bawling. his eyes were red and tears were falling and he was sniffling but he wasnt like crying hard

so he just explained that he was in a bad place when he met me and he still is in that bad place (in reference to his depression) and how its not me its him and how i deserve someone who puts in the effort and doesnt distance themselves from me and actually has the time to see me and i was annoyed bc caleb did the same thing and i am sick of other guys telling me whats best for me like *vicki from rhoc voice* how do you know whats best for me? and like obv just bc you have depression doesnt mean you dont deserve love, like he said he still liked me and wanted to be with me and how it was breaking his heart to have to do this so i did not want him to end something just bc he felt he didnt deserve me or that he wasnt worthy of my love or anything like that 

so he also explained how he wasnt ready to settle down and i was like sis we arent even officially boyfriends yet, its not like im asking you to marry me and have kids lmfao and he said he wasnt ready for exclusivity so i was like “does that mean you wanna fuck other guys?” and he was like “i dont know” so ????? and he was like “im feeling conflicted” so i was like wtf is going on in here on this day

also i asked if his roommates were home and he said no he was home alone tonight and that was part of why he was feeling so bad and its like sis…..if being alone makes you feel worse then making yourself even more alone by breaking up w me doesnt seem like the best way to fix that! and i told him that i was free tonight and he couldve just invited me over if he was feeling lonely and he was like “i thought you would be busy” like sis literally the only times i am ever busy on saturday nights is when im with him!! lmao

he also said he wasnt opening up bc he couldnt/wasnt ready for it yet, but like i wasnt asking him to open up like all i wanted was for him to put a modicum of effort into our conversations just to show that he cared, like we can just keep doing fun things like im not asking him to get all deep and vulnerable with me (although i would love that too)

so we just had a very emotional time, i was crying my eyes out nonstop and he was lightly crying as well, there was lots of hugging and holding and stuff so like i was really really REALLY losing it like i was so MESSSSSSSSSSYYYY like i was just getting all in my feelings and saying all the things im gonna miss about him and like apologizing for anything i did wrong/apologizing for not being enough for him and like it was really really bad. but i was still also cracking jokes like a dumbass throughout the whole thing lmao bc i like to find the humor in things

i decided to mention that i was originally planning to ask him to be my bf officially on our next date (that plan had changed since he became cold and distant the past week or two but originally i was planning on doing it on the next date after i got back from the retreat) just bc i was being emotional

at one point he was laying on the bed and i was sitting on the edge of it crying (and covering my face bc im an ugly crier even though he’d already seen plenty of footage of me crying at this point) and he held out his arms and was like “come here” and i was like “no” and looked away and he was like “please” like that was very satisfying bc it showed that he needed comforting as well at that moment

at one point i was just laying on my side rolled up in a ball scream crying into my hands now THAT was messy. it was nice though bc joel moved in behind me and tried to hold me and calm me down. speaking of calming down! there were some points where i got like………REALLY bad like i was breathing so hard and fast it was troubling but whenever i had a wave of that joel held me and tried to soothe me and help me breathe

i even offered to have an open relationship if he wanted (bc this was during the exclusivity convo) bc i was just trying to grasp at any straws i could at the moment in the hopes of reaching an agreement or just stalling for time so i could move past his walls and get through to him. in reality i would never even consider it bc it is definitely not for me but at the moment i was desperate. he said no though bc he knows i wouldnt want that and he said he didnt want me to compromise myself for him

so then this is when we reached the turning point. so joel was laying down and i was like half sitting on the bed/half laying on him. and i said something along the lines of “you dont have to go through this alone, i wanna be there for you” and like when i said alone he lost IT! like we had a breakthrough he started bawling just like i was this whole time!! obviously it was hard for me to see him in that state but it was also kinda nice to see how much he cared 

but then he started breathing really fast and he was like “i think im having a panic attack” so i was like uh oh so i was like omg do you want me to get off of you or something but he was like no stay here so i kept holding him and tried to help him ride it out. but then he choked out the words “i think im making the wrong decision” like !!!! i have never felt such a strong feeling of hope in my life! but i was just like its fine dont worry about it just breathe and btw during this event he was laying on his side so he was looking to the side while i was kinda on top of him so i was like at him. so then he turned to look me directly in the face and………………………

he said “I love you!” like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hearing that made me SO so happy so i was like “i love you too!” and we hugged and kissed and then he was like “ask me!!” and i was like “ask you what???” and he was like “ask me what you were gonna ask me before!” and i was like “OH! joel……will you be my boyfriend?” and he was like “YES!” and then we hugged again and laughed and made out and it was really really passionate even though we were both gross with tears and runny noses, like it might have even been the most passionate kissing ive ever had! it was a very emotionally intimate moment and i loved it

so then he was like “im sorry” and i was like dont worry about it lmao so then we just continued cuddling and kissing and stuff for a while. he told me that he knew i loved him back bc during my breakdown i said “i really really really really liked you” and he said he knew i wanted to say i loved you lol

he also said hes gonna try to open up more and put more of an effort in so!! that was nice

so it was hot in his room and we were all sweaty on top of being gross from crying so we showered together which is always fun. and during the shower he was very touchy and he would like press his body against mine and give little kisses on like my chest or my back which i really loved. we also did some sexual stuff too

then we got out and dried off and he finally said he would watch flavor of love with me!! so we watched a few eps and it was super fun. then we cuddled until we fell asleep holding each other which is always one of my fave parts of our dates. he was very affectionate and sweet and i really liked it. then we fell asleep and in the morning i had to go home bc i had work or something

so yeah thats it! it made me really happy that he said i love you (and that he said it to me first!!) and i made sure he knew that he could always ask me for anything he needed if he was feeling down again or something. so now fast forward to today he is back to texting me every day and being an active and engaging texter! and i went over to do homework with him on monday night which was fun! and then on friday night he invited me over at like midnight and we got checkers and then we hung out and cuddled and watched more flavor of love. and then we did some more sexual things which was really fun! he was really really into me again and he literally is the hottest guy ive ever met so i enjoyed getting to make him feel good and stuff

on friday the 13th i am taking the gsa eboard + jami w me to go see the addams family musical at his school since he is part of the pit orchestra so that will be fun! i am very happy to have joel back and i am even happier that we are officially boyfriends now! and its so so so nice to get i love you texts again!! overall i am very happy with how things turned out and i am glad i fought to make it work instead of just seeing the text and being like ok bye

[first-and-ten]

2017 Week 5 Recap

Fuck Mike Pence so much. He flew out to Indiana just to throw a fit about players kneeling for the anthem. Go to hell. Ugh. And on top of that Jerry Jones, after looking like the world’s least comfortable Scrooge McDuck at the Cowboys’ pre-anthem protest last week, now says players who kneel should be cut. It’s so bad Roger Goodell had to send a memo to the owners telling them to cool it. I hope all the Cowboys kneel and the Pence and Jerry die in the same fire. And did you see the statue of Payton anyway? It doesn’t look like him, and it is also too soon. Let him at least have time to decide to GM the Titans before you do that, now you might have a statue of a division rival’s GM outside your stadium! Idiots. Oh and the Dolphins’ o-line coach resigned in disgrace after a video surfaced of him snorting cocaine before a team meeting, so next time someone complains about players kneeling during the anthem, that could provide some perspective. 

Also, YA Tittle died, so that sucks too.

Teams that need Kaepernick: TEN, MIA, CLE, SF, NYJ, BAL, OAK IND, JAX, MIN, NYG, ARI, PIT

Hot seats: Ben McAdoo, John Fox, Hue Jackson, Marvin Lewis, Chuck Pagano, Todd Bowles, Bruce Arians

Teams on Bye: ATL, WSH, DEN, NO

NE 19 - 14 TB [W] Game ball: Stephen Gostkowski If the Patriots can’t give a good Thursday performance then who can? This is not how this game should have ended but Nick Folk’s errant kicking turned this from a 23-19 upset into an ugly loss from a team that just barely outuglied the defending champs.

BUF 16 - 20 CIN [W] Game ball: AJ Green Solid performance all around from the Bengals, who are now only a game back in a division of klutzes. Making the switch to Bill Lazor at offensive coordinator seems to have been the right move, as Cincy’s new schemes give Andy Dalton a little more time to think before he throws. The Bills shouldn’t get too down, but the passing attack was lackluster without Jordan Matthews.

CAR 27 - 24 DET [L] Game ball: Cam Newton An impressive and important victory. Cam played with poise and very few mistakes, earning a crucial tie-breaker over Detroit.  Don’t think that gets him off the hook for what he said about it being weird for a woman to talk routes, though. If he thinks that’s weird, he would be astounded by how much women know about sports but don’t say because men won’t shut the fuck up. Please educate yourself on how women have impacted your sport’s growth and culture, because I promise you it’s more than you think.

LAC 27 - 22 NYG [W] Game ball: Melvin Gordon Like I said, someone had to lose. Makes sense that it’s the team that lost 4 WRs on the same day. OBJ and Brandon Marshall are both out for the season, so a 0-5 with nothing in the cupboard, the G-men are done. Stick a fork in them. It’s just not happening. The Chargers aren’t a whole lot better off, but after 4 weeks of actually competing I bet it’s nice for it to finally end in a victory.

SF 23 - 26 IND OT [W] Game ball: Adam Vinatieri Both the Niners and the Colts played extra periods last week as well, meaning at this point each squad has gone 10 quarters of pro football in the last 8 calendar days. That’s absurd. Any win with Jacoby Brissett at the helm is a gift for the Colts. Every week without a win is a nightmare I’m sure for John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan. Here’s an idea: employ a QB other than Brian Hoyer! Maybe one whose name rhymes with Schmollin Schmappernick.

NYJ 17 - 14 CLE [W] Game ball: Marcus Maye In a bizarre twist, the Browns actually controlled much of this game. They had two red zone turnovers in the first half that completely squandered their dominance. They brought in Kevin Hogan for the second half, leaving the week 6 start up in the air. Myles Garrett got a sack on his first snap, which is pretty awesome. Probably not a coincidence that the Browns defense has never looked better this season.

ARI 7 - 34 PHI [W] Game ball: Carson Wentz Not much of a battle of the Carsons, more like one Carson just sending the other’s team through a shredder. Total domination by the Eagles, and now the Cardinals have Adrian Peterson to save the day, because nothing says Arizona like a bunch of rich guys who are about to retire.

JAX 30 - 9 PIT [L] Game ball: Leonard Fournette Yesssss, bury him! Ben Roethlisberger threw 5 INTERCEPTIONS and no touchdowns! You know who else has done that this century? Ryan Fitzpatrick AND NOBODY ELSE! Dude, he is going to just straight up give up in the middle of a game this year and he and Jay Cutler are gonna just get appointed to Trump’s cabinet and stop giving a fuck about anything. Oh and BTW the team he threw those picks to legitimately did well. They just ran the ball a gajillion times so that Bortles couldn’t Bortles up their chances. I mean if you told me before this game that a QB would throw 5 picks I wouldn’t be surprised, but I also would have been really excited to have the Steelers defense on fantasy because I would assume they were doing the picking.

TEN 10 - 16 MIA [W] Game ball: Kiko Alonso Another game that nobody should have won. Matt Cassell isn’t doing it for anyone, and neither is Cutler. It is time to move on. It’s nice for Miami to get a win but they had playoff aspirations before the season that seem pretty far-fetched at this point.

BAL 30 - 17 OAK [L] Game ball: Mike Wallace It’s a little hard to analyze this game because the Raiders fell behind so early. It would be unreasonable to expect EJ Manuel to dig out of that hole. This is the Baltimore we saw in the first two weeks, it must be nice for them to now that still exists.

SEA 16 - 10 LAR [W] Game ball: Sheldon Richardson It was a close one but the Seahawks are now leading the division. Neither team looked even close to good on offense, though the Seahawks have to be happy that Jimmy Graham has been effective two weeks in a row. 

GB 35 - 31 DAL [W] Game ball: Aaron Rodgers Oh man, this is what happens! Aaron freakin Rodgers! What do you even do? You score to go up 3 with just over a minute left, if you’re playing any of 30 teams in the league you’re thinking you probably are winning or going to overtime. But against the Patriots or Packers, you just resign yourself to seeing football magic kill your game. Ridiculous. I said the Packers run game might end up better now than it was with Ty Montgomery, and, well, Im not sure it hasn’t...

KC 42 - 34 HOU [W] Game ball: Tyreek Hill The fact that this game was in reach in the 4th quarter before Hill took a punt to the house is quite the testament to DeShaun Watson and how he has changed the offense around him. It’s really incredible. But that might not be enough to overcome the loss of JJ Watt and Whitney Merciless. That is fucking tragic.

MIN 20 - 17 CHI [L] Game ball: Jerrick McKinnon I was so damn close. And then Mitch Trubisky goes and throws a pick. Great, thanks Mitch. Mitchington. Mitcherino. 

Record this week: 10-4 Record this season: 45-32 Locks record: 14-5 (Survivors used [X]: ATL, SEA, NE, GB, PIT) Upsets record: 11-13 2014 pace: 50-27 Pickwatch leader: 52-25 (Patrick Schmidt, Fansided)

NFL Title Belt: KC (defended from HOU)

DSA Jackpot candidates: KC

MMA candidates: NYG, CLE, SF

The Room Where It Happens: N/A

Fallen Tributes: N/A

FANTASY CORNER

Danger Squirrels 125 - 140 Schneiders List [L, 2-3]

Goddamnit. I prepared so well to be covered during my bye weeks and then Mariota and Montgomery went and got hurt. I dropped Mariota for Tyrod Taylor and I guess I chose wrong because it was not enough. Props to Melvin Gordon for trying to get me the win, and a big fuck you to the Steelers defense. And I technically wasn’t rooting for this because Go Seahawks but imagine what could have been if Cooper Kupp caught that TD in the last seconds? Siemian the Finals 150.29 - 171.75 Decatur Fist [L, 3-2]

I shoulda started Torrey Smith. I knew I should have, too. I just couldn’t get all the drops I’ve seen him make this season out of my head! The one time Jimmy Graham is worth a damn, and I get nothing out of Antonio Gates. I cannot believe Ed Dickson scored 22.5 points, that’s just cheating.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Untucked (S09E06) Snatch Game Airdate: April 29, 2017 @wowreport Ratings: 593,000+ on @youtube as of 6/15/17 Score: 8/10

**********SPOILERS BELLW**********

I made a specific contestant a promise I would go ahead and watch Untucked to not only highlight the juxtaposition of my styles of writing when it comes the two totally different series (one competition, one what’s morphed into a show of spirit and sense of community), but also because Drag Race is simply a tough one for me to review. I have a lot of respect for everyone that comes on the show and demonstrates that ‘fire’, and I get caught up in trying to both critique ‘Drag Race’ as the competition style calls for and pad my blunt critiques with humor that can be sometimes taken the wrong way. Last week’s 'Untucked’, I focused heavily on Nina, I recognized a pattern, certain tendencies, withdrawing fro. The group, and a look of the eyes that I know all too well because I myself have battled depression, addiction, dependency, a slew of shit (as most of us have) and had to figure out how to maneuver life without throwing up too many buckets of water on myself when I start to get white hot. It’s not easy, but for some people it is… And sometimes those very people want to say, 'Get over it’, 'Suck it up’, or write you off… Depression, self doubt, all these things that plague us in the cycle of the human condition are not something you can just wipe off the mirror like lipstick… But I see you Queens struggling with that too, so…

We start this 'Untucked’ off with a bit of fun, the same fun we aren’t exactly seeing translate to VH1 on the 'Main Stage’… Then again VH1 was the network that picked Wendy Williams to host the between breaks 'Viewing Party’. Just ask our buddy Jonny McGovern & his friend Erickatoure why that’s not the best move… Better yet just go subscribe to his channel on YouTube. 'Hey Qween’ is literally just waiting for you, calling your name, just sitting on YouTube Red’s digital shelf waiting for you to watch until your eyes turn glossy & red, leaving you pupils dilated to the size of mega saucers… And when you finally emerge from your house everyone will assume your either a tweaker or from Wilton Manors.

Apparently Trinity Taylor, God Bless her Floridian soul, has never seen 'Bad Girls Club’ or been the only white girl in the room… As she has no clue what 'edges’ are. I can’t tell you why this is so damn funny to me, maybe it’s Shea’s earnest and surprisingly highly detailed & accurate attempt at educating Trinity on the matter (This is emerging as Shea’s specialty, not the history and extensive knowledge of edges, but breaking things down in articulate manner that anyone can follow - plus she’s talent personified)… Maybe it’s Valentina’s adorably juvenile delivery of the line she delivers to Trinity explaining to her that she has her own form of edges, 'that black spray stuff you be spraying, DUH!’ But as god as my witness, there are simply no words to describe the laughter this scene inspires!

Trinity still doesn’t get it, she’s 'from the south’ she says we don’t use words like 'Edges’… Tho, again, I’m gonna have to break something down… South Florida and even parts of Central Florida aren’t really the south. Consider us more of the North Caribbean, hell we aren’t even really a part of the United States, thats just what it looks like on the map so everyone including your parents and teachers have told you so. But yeah, 'edges’ are most definitely still a word down here in the 'North Carribean’. Valentina’s adorableness continues… Her Hispanic background leads her to really appreciate Trinity’s astonishing ability to be 'so evil and so nice at the same time’. See, that’s how we do it here in South & Central FL… We love you, but we simply don’t have time to dance around your feelings. We’ll give you the shirt off of our backs then have you lay down in a mud puddle so we can walk over you. I’m kidding, of course. We’d obviously pick you you up and give you a peck on the cheek, dust off the mud and take our fn’ shirt back. It’s just the way the bottom half of Florida works, and that’s why I 'get’ and love Trinity Taylor so very much. Now that we got some proper Florida representation, maybe S10 we can get South Florida’s legendary 'Daisy Deadpetals’ finally on this show! Ru, please?

Enter the tops and the bottoms… Tho Alexis clearly states, 'This top is versatile.’ Told you, Alex, we could have so much fun. Tho for me it’s always much more about the passion and connection than it is about the final act. We’re getting way off topic. Sasha and Alexis go back and forth telling the others how much the judges praised each other… There is a deep respect between the two and though I absolutely loved Sasha’s 'Marlene Dietrich’ and did pad my opinion with a bit of comedy on the 'Main Stage’ review… I do want to set the record straight and say Alexis’s Liza was most definitely a highlight. Seeing the top two sit across from each other with their dignified 'Northern Poise’ is quite the scene… And Alexis’s shape from the side is nothing short of astounding. If the hair was different and the dress were pants, it would be spot on to my favorite Madonna… 'Bedtime Stories’ Madonna, particularly 'Human Nature’. Either way, I love it and for some reason Sasha’s poise is so proper I can’t help but keep rolling the word 'Yankee’ through my head… I don’t know how to interpret that for you, but I have it on pause and can’t stop laughing.

With VH1 taking the show in such a vastly different direction, I can’t say how much I appreciate this 'Untucked’ enough. Alexis, Shea, and Sasha look to immediately focus on Nina who needs a bit of love after the strange exploitation of her depression reared its ugly head the episode before last of 'Drag Race’. It’s clear Nina is feeling a bit better at this point but those kinds of battles are never over. These three obviously are aware of that and I want to show love to all three of them, particularly Shea who goes the extra mile for her and really tries to continue to hammer things back into perspective for Nina. This is the 'Drag Race’ I want to see. People have criticized the show for being too 'best friend race’ as they have with Slice’s RHOT… But we do enough of beating each other down, especially when you are in a high pressure situation constantly trying to squeeze every last drop of creativity that you can for the next challenge and the next and being paraded around on a runway and criticized, by both the judges and the world… I’m happy to see (however you want put this) the brotherly/sisterly… Straight up human empathy shining under the bright stage lights of television.

The bottoms… Peppermint, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, and Farrah Moan speak next. Peppermint is frustrated that she nailed Brittany in a prior challenge, but couldn’t nail Nene Leakes. It’s much different when you are given a character with lines & direction than when you literally have to create one from scratch… Then again, everyone knows 'Snatch Games’ is coming, so they really do need to be prepared. Farrah looks stunning, and is clearly saved by her fantastic runway look, I’m still curious as to who Gigi was or why anyone would care… Then again I’m in my 30’s and an ex-athlete, Ginger Cub who thinks the thicker the better… Im not scouring the internet for makeup tips. Either way, Farrah is just very young for this competition. Bring her back in 5-10 years and she’d be a massive threat. Her talent is there, it just needs a few years of experience before she can really show what she’s made of.

I often find myself very frustrated with Cynthia Lee Fontaine. This is a competition, I want to see the best of the best battle it out. This is Cynthia’s second time on the show and she’s screwing up essential Drag Race portions of the show… But here, she’s just so defeated, but she instantly goes through a horde of emotions within 2 seconds and is all the sudden firing herself back up with her own words, and it melts me. Despite any critiques I give as a judge would in my reviews of the 'Main Stage’, I’m a softie on the inside and nobody does Cynthia like Cynthia Lee Fontaine. I just don’t think a 2nd stent on 'Drag Race’ was in order, but there is something about that fighting spirit Cynthia displays that I feel needs to be seen, not just by this younger generation, but by everyone. Alexis takes note and proposes a toast, “L'chaim”, bitches!

World Of Wonder, come through! If VH1 has the producers focusing on the negative, then WOW always has their own freedom with 'Untucked’ to make up for that… And they do. Our girl Nina needed this video message from her mother, and that soft, loving, and tender look Nina shoots the screen that you can see if you pause the show right at 13:49 is all I needed and wanted for Nina. Keep pushing, girl… And listen to Shea! That’s a true friend, and there aren’t that many of those in the world. Like I keep saying, you can always tell who the strongest men and women in the room are… They are the ones lifting everyone up, instead of tearing them all apart.

Before I close out yet another long-winded love letter to World Of Wonder’s 'Untucked’ and all the contestants in this show… As I’ve explained in the past, I’ve always had an extremely tough time with the gay community. I sold myself at Johnny’s in Ft Lauderdale for years and nearly destroyed myself after my Aunt (who was like my sister) took her own life. My past experiences made it difficult for me to separate sex and shame, I will not point fingers as to why, but I’ve opened up about it in other reviews and will continue to do so as I sort it out as I go along. My critiques for the main stage of 'Drag Race’ are always difficult to navigate. I have a deep respect for the art form and contestants of Drag Race from Jaymes Mansfield to Nina BoNina Brown to Alexis Michelle and everyone in between, but like Trinity Taylor I try to tell it like it is from a loving place. I enjoy writing about the show. I enjoy watching the show. And if I’ve ever offended a contestant or said something that crossed a line or was taken the wrong way, I apologize. I fight to kind of hold onto the gay community in a weird way through this show, because my experiences with said community have been mainly negative in real life… Whether I was selling myself on stage at Johnny’s or Boardwalk… Or being introduced to methamphetamine at an early age.

I write because it’s my passion, and I’m starting to make a nice living at it and turning my dreams into reality. I said something in my last review of 'Drag Race’ and attempted to pad it with humor and the person who it affected respectfully came to me and talked to me about it directly. I appreciate that… And I think we were both able to see where each other were coming from and hopefully a friendship will come of it. But then this morning I wake up to death threats, 'kill yourself’, and a variety of hate speech from a community that I’ve never been able to find that true piece of love and acceptance I needed… One that for some reason is the hardest on me than any other community or subject I write on. I’m not over here crying about it, but all that nastiness will get you blocked real quick. My Spotlight Saga project, which is growing fast, and I’m happy to tell you all is being built into an online magazine slowly but surely - as well as a place where people can share perspectives to open hearts, minds, mouths, and ears, is my baby and I will fight for it till the end of time. There’s nothing in this world that I do half assed, my momma sure of that. So show love, address each other with respect, and fools… Don’t come at me crazy, cuz I’m not throwing the towel in anytime soon.