#but if i do i just feel ancious the whole time

[jay-lea]

I'm so jealous of people who can be spontaneous I have my routine thrown off in positive ways and I can't even enjoy them bc I'm too busy feeling panicked about the change

[immortal-tale]

The feeling that you know so much and that was enough but then...reality hits you

You feel ancious, scared, frustrated, and worthless when you couldn't do a single thing other than that 1st part...

You feel like you lost your whole purpose and regrets not communicating more with that person...

But– when your smart enough to know that by heart, it just leaves you a gaping hole of worry and self-loathing...

-------------------------------------------------------

The person who gave me reasons to like books. For the sins I committed, she went to jail. The person who wrote a book about our story. The person I wanted to see. The person I resented. She was my mother but also the person furthest from me.

「 “Dokja.” 」

Blood in the living room and the feeling of the falling knife. My mother’s following words.

「 “Read it again.” 」

The moment I finished, the brush stopped. Still, my mother’s thema was incomplete.

“Demon King of Salvation?”

My mother’s story that I knew was up to here.

「 “…Sin. If it is a sin, it’s a sin.” 」

「 “Do all prisoners think this way?” 」

「 “It is funny, the justice of this world.” 」

There were still numerous story fragments floating around me but they didn’t talk to me anymore.

The fragments had a context I didn’t know. I couldn’t hear them and they were unknown sentences.

I was suddenly confused, as if thrown into the middle of the first book I read. The only thing I knew about Lee Sookyung was Lee Sookyung as my mother.

The hand holding the brush trembled. The trembling was speaking on my behalf. I couldn’t do it. This wasn’t something I could do.

Belated regret flooded me like waves. I should’ve talked to her more. I should’ve told her more.

I should’ve shared more with her.

The height of the hand holding the brush gradually lowered. My mother’s stories were crumbling again. My mother’s unknown stories drifted like they mocked me.

「 Maybe I’m not the only one. 」

The moment I had this thought, I felt something behind my back. Someone, who wasn’t me or Aileen, was holding a brush and staring into the air.

“This is what you said to me.”

There was a middle-aged woman wearing a nice suit over a blue prison uniform. It was Cho Youngran, who had the First Spiritualist of Joseon as a sponsor. Another woman was holding a brush beside her.

...

I stood still and Han Sooyoung poked me in the side. “Get out of the way, you’re disturbing us.”

Certainly, Han Sooyoung had been with my mother for the past three years and probably had a stake in her story.

I nodded and slipped out of the room. The restoration of the story was almost finished and I didn’t seem to be any more help. I was a bit nervous but she was a writer… she probably wouldn’t ruin my mother.

I heard Han Sooyoung’s voice coming from behind me. “This… did you mention it at the time? I didn’t know. That’s right, well…”

…Please be fine. I

[juminsmysticmc]

Hey I know your requests ale closed but I was wondering if you would willing to write when you will open your requests about Minor Trio and the RFA reacting to MC playing Elizabeth Schuyler in musical „Hamilton”. If you don’t want to its totalny fine ! Have great day darling!

RFA + Minor Trio’s reaction with a Mc who plays Elizabeth Schuyler in ,,Hamilton’’

Wow. It took me a LIFETIME! Tbh I only watched a little bit of the musical but if I have the chance in the future, I would like to watch it live…! Well, here you are. It‘s probably shitty but I hope everyone enjoys the Hc! Ps. I would like to link my favorite songs….! Who lives, who dies-who tells your story, Satisfied, First Burns

Jumin 

,,Huh? A surprise?“ Jumin smirked as he saw a ticket for a musical. 

He thought it was odd that it was only one. 

He could have bought the whole musical if he would have want. 

But he still visited the place wondering, where you were staying. 

When Jumin realized, that you were playing Elizabeth, he teared up. 

He was really happy that so many people watched you, your talent. 

The song ,,Who dies, who lives- who tells your story“ made him cry even harder. 

He got so reminded of his own relationship with you. 

You, who supported him and loved him the way he was. 

You were the perfect Elizabeth…

After the musical Jumin hugged you strongly and thanked you for your support and you thanked him, for his visit. 

,,Of course I would come to see my beautiful wife!“ 

Zen 

,,Mc! Mc! Guess what! I play a big role in a musical! I will play Alexander Hamilton in Hamilton!’’

Zenny told you. 

You looked at him with big eyes, your mouth wide open. 

,,What…? Aren’t you happy for me?’’ he asked you a bit dissappointed. 

,,What? No Zenny. I just….I will play Elizabeth Schuyler in Hamilton.’’ you told him and then smiled. 

Zenny and you were going to play in a musical together! 

Zen was so happy about that he kissed and hugged you. 

This was the first step in your carrier together. 

When he however read the script, he had to tear up. 

Even if you weren’t Eliza, he was so proud of you. 

Because he really thought, that this was your perfect character. 

And he really thought about it, would you later in the future do all this what Eliza did for Alexander after he died…?

And then he knew, you would do even better…..

Yoosung 

He really thought he would fall asleep when he heard that you would play in your first musical. 

For you he drank a lot of coffee. 

But in the end he was sure, he would have never fall asleep. 

Your role was just amazing. 

He could feel the feelings of the actors. 

The most hurtful part was, when Angelica had her speech on the wedding. 

He didn’t knew why, he just got remembered of Rika and hoped, that she would be happy that he now found you…

That she would have done the same for the two of you….that at least you were satisfied now.

Jaehee

Jaehee loved musicals a lot.

And so when you told her that you were playing a role in Hamilton she really got excited. 

But sadly you didn’t tell her who you were playing. 

When she then saw you in your first song, she teared up. 

You looked so beautiful.

Your dress fitted you so good, your role was so perfect. 

Since then, she loved your musicals more than Zen’s….! 

She begged you every night to sing the last song because your song was way too perfect…! 

Saeyoung 

,,Really?’’ he asked you when you told him that you were going to play Elizabeth Schuyler. 

He perhaps got even more excited than you. 

And since he got ancious before the Musical began, he made you afraid. 

,,Saeyoung! Shut up and go away! I will screw up because of you!’’ 

But in the end, you played your role so much better than he thought. 

That’s why he filmed the whole act and posted everything on YouTube. 

And made you to the super star of this play! 

You had even more clicks then Zen had! 

Saeran

He didn’t know what or who Hamilton was but when you told him, he was excited. 

And proud of you. 

The song ,,First Burn’’ made him fall in love with you even more. 

He didn’t know why but he somehow felt sorry for you. 

Your anger and hate but love for Alexander was so strong that he began to cry. 

He didn’t know why but he hoped, that he would never let you feel like that. 

He already knew that he would have been proud of you and that’s why be bought 1000 roses for you. 

In the end of the musical he threw them at you, to show everyone that you were his and he was yours. 

That he loved you. 

Jihyun 

,,God…I love music but I really think that tonight I will fall asleep in the Orchester.’’ Jihyun told you while he slipped his coffee. 

,,Where will you play in?’’ you asked him. 

,,Oh, in the musical Hamilton.’’ he responded. 

He watched your reaction. 

You let your knife fall and looked at him. 

,,But dear, I will play Elizabeth in that Musical!’’ 

Now it was his time letting the coffee mug fall. 

How was it possible that he didn’t knew that you were going to play in a musical?! 

He was scared, didn’t he listen to you? 

When the show finally began, he even stopped playing because he watched you. 

Your amazing role, your beauty, he was caught by your role…. 

 He got fired from that Musical but he didn’t regret it if it meant that he had the chance to see you. 

Vanderwood 

,,Wow. I’m not interested.’’ his response was. 

,,Yeah? Why are you coming along?’’ you asked him angry. 

Three hours later you asked him how your part was.

,,I fell asleep every time you began to play.’’ he answered and walked away. 

But the truth was, that he cried in the end and tried to hid his excitement that way. 

Because you were just amazing…! 

And to be honest, in his opinion you really deserved a musical on your own! 

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

21.10.’18// 02:09 MEST

Tagged: 

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @milkyxstrawberry 

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 

[fangirlbase]

The Passion’s Price //h.s  (Part 3)

How many inches in a mileWhat it takes to make you smileGetcha not to treat me like a child, babyTell me, tell me, tell meSomething I don't knowSomething I don't knowSomething I don't knowTell me, tell me, tell meSomething I don't knowSomething I don't knowSomething I don't knowI hear it everyday

I hear it all the time

I'm never gonna amount too much

But they're never gonna change my mind

Oh!

Pairing: Harry Styles x Anna Margaret

Summary :Anna was badly mistreated as a child. She grew up and gained the power of oblivion with a lovely voice. She will now have a chance to take revenge on your love as well as boogeyman, conquering the stages of the whole world.

Harry was very bad as a child, but also quite kind. He mistreated the girl he loved only by status, making her disappear for long years. Is it now that even after a long time he will remember all the faulty acts of his past in time to regain the love of his life, or lose it to one of his best friends?

Parts: Chapter I / Chapter II / Chapter III

                                                                                                  Chapter III

About a month had passed and Anna's career was only taking off higher and higher.She had settled into her uncle's house, living in the greatest luxury and comfort money can afford. Her friendship with the boys grew more and more, even with Harry, although he did not admit much. With all the fame, more music and clips had been produced.Some hater's started appearing on Twitter and Facebook, but nothing unmanageable.Exactly three days ago there was a start of confusion as Anna, Niall and Zayn strolled through the mall. "Boys, you can go ahead. I'm going to buy some coffee and I'll be right back.” "The tabloids do not stop announcing your date. Are they really messing up, Zayn?” Niall asked amused, playing green. “Niall, I just got out of a relationship. I'm not just jumping under the first girl to show up.Perrie broke my heart. Anna is helping me with this. Did you know that she has already applied a revenge on a guy?” "She does not look like a girl like that. Did she tell you what happened in the end? If the guy survived? " He asked, laughing, imagining the potential of the girl in disgust. "She said we're still going to find out ... It sounded very strange to me.” "I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" The boys rushed toward the shout, encountering a small crowd formed around two blondes. They were kind of aggressive in trying to get through the crowd, but they did not mind when they came across Anna, who was totally messed up with coffee and Perrie with an angry look on the girl. "What happened here, Perrie?" Niall tried to be polite, clearly knowing what had happened. "Anna, how are you?" Zayn, on the other hand, had run toward her friend, because a burn was what they least wanted at the moment. "I did not know you were so desperate for a new girl, Zayn.” "Are they all jealous, Perrie?" Anna controlled herself against the girl. She took advantage and pulled Zayn away. Any kind of romantic comment would ruin your whole plan. "Perrie, why you threw coffee ..." “HOT, NIALL!” "Hot on her? There is no need for that.” "Because of her, Malik is not as depressed as I'd like to be. HE HAS TO SUFFER EVERYTHING WHAT I PASSED!” Anna just kept quiet. She also wanted Harry to suffer everything, the problem was that she knew how to plan revenge. Perrie did not. This show would pay more attention to Anna, and would greatly diminish Perrie's fame. "Why do not you spend your time investing in your career than detonating my life? I mean, if I get someone else, will you keep pissing me off? If I've been so bad for your career, if I've destroyed your life as you say it yourself, why do you keep following me?GO LIVING YOUR LIFE! "Zayn was visibly altered, chasing Perrie with tears in her eyes. Anna had indeed been burned, her neck and belly completely red. Today he would give an interview to a very famous program, where he would have the premiere of his new music video. "Just try not to talk nonsense, Margareth" Harry had given her some advice before leaving the studio and would really try to follow him. It would be her first interview and her uncle would be with her there. She wore a blouse completely closed to hide the redness. A pair of jeans and high heels accompanied his costumes. “First of all we would like to show for the first time the newest clip of the star of the moment: Anna Margaret!” Everything darkened and an Anna dressed as a maid danced with the mop and sang while her boss fought with her.

Everybody tells me

That it's so hard to make it

Yet so hard to break it

And there's no way to fake it

Everybody tells me that it's wrong what I'm feeling

I shouldn't believe in

The dreams that I'm dreaming

I hear it everyday

I hear it all the time

I'm never gonna amount too much

But they're never gonna change my mind

Oh!

Tell me, tell me, tell me

Something I don't know

Something I don't know

Something I don't know

Tell me, tell me, tell me

Something I don't know

Something I don't know

Something I don't know

How many inches in a mile

What it takes to make you smile

Getcha not to treat me like a child, baby

So here's the track like

Catrina makes wish like medinna make em say

I'm you ready

Are you ready for it?

Yeah I'm ready for it

Really ready for it?

Yeah I'm ready for it

Let's get ready for it

I'm on my way

I know I'm gonna get there someday

It doesn't help when you say

It won't be easy

And then Anna walked into the studio, smiling and slightly flushed. She walked to the sofa and sat down, controlling a small tremble that settled in her hands.

"Good afternoon, Anna! Ancious? "The presenter asked, noticing the girl's condition. He appeared to be no more than about 35, very nice.

"A little bit, Marshall.”

"You'll see I do not bite. So, little star, how old are you?”

"Twenty-three, but with nineteen-year-old body.”

Laughter echoed.

"Though it has burst here in England, you are not from here.”

“No. I came from Kansas, United States.”

"But your accent is English."

"I moved when I was little. My uncle realized my potential in a visit last summer at a school performance and decided to bring me here.”

"Simon Cowell, right?"

“Yes. He brought me to live with him and help me. Because he works primarily with One Direction, I'm spending time with them, getting in the way. They have helped me a lot with everything.”

"When did you start singing?"

"When she was very small, even at that time she was not a little tuned.” Laughter echoed.

"That's not what Liam Payne said about you. According to him, it does not require any kind of adjustment in your voice. So it means it's always been tuned.”

“Well ... not always. The air in Kansas made my voice good.”

“Well, the little star ended up jumping some questions I was going to ask, so let's get down to business: dating, single, married?”

“Completely single.” She replied blushing, shaking her hands.

Harry did not want to cheer, but he was following the house interview. She wanted to know if she was going to do something foolish to tease her later and she was very interested in the last answer.

"But that did not stop rumors about a possible affair with Zayn Malik being spread.”

“Not even! We're just friends, just like the rest of the band. It would be the same as saying that Harry and Louis are a couple.”

The audience was delirious. Harry spat out the soda he was taking, completely indignant, sending a message at the same time to her.

"WHAT THE PART OF NOT TALKING SHITS THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, MARGARET ???"

"It does not stop you from having fans who think that, but it's not true. And Harry, it was just a comment. Sorry Marshall, Harry sent a very angry message at the couple's suggestion.”

“No problem. But if there is no affair, how do you explain that mall mess between you and Perrie?”

"I really did not understand that. She broke up with him and was annoyed to suppose he had a new girlfriend. She is completely clueless. I mean, who writes a song just to detonate the ex's career? if she wants to come out on top, it certainly is not so.”

"You look very angry with her, Anna.”

"Marshall, she threw hot coffee at me. I have burns from the shoulder to the belly. Who would not be angry?”

"That probably answers my next question: Will your future projects be cluttered?”

"Probably only next week."

"And what are they?" Something new on the way?

“For now only a few photo shoots and some feats. It is also possible to open some shows.”

"We can see then that his career is taking off higher and higher.

‘Absolutely.” She finished with a small smile.

***

Harry still could not believe how Margareth could have been so stupid as to mention the shipp that the boys so hated. Even if it was only a comparison, it was completely absurd! He had instructed her not to talk bullshit, and when she least expected it, she dropped a bomb. Not that he was really worried, it was not going to affect his career after all, but it had been his advice.

He had turned off the TV and was getting ready to go to the record company. They were going to record a new song today, the song made by Zayn with Margaret's help.

***

It was late afternoon, early evening when she arrived at the front door of a teen magazine. It would be his last appointment of the day. A small photo shoot. Everything would have gone well if he had not sent a photo to Niall in the middle of the change of clothes showing the damage Perrie had done. The girl wore short shorts with a v-neck top, showing the burns on her lap. I would have to use a lot of editing on the images to remove the marks.

The boys were surprised at how ugly she was, with Harry making harsh but equally shocked comments. The act did not go unnoticed, having been reported in the story as "ANNA MARGARET AND ZAYN MALIK EXCHANGE INTIMATE PICTURES DURING TESTING." The shock was so great that the magazine was sued, having to pay with moral damages to Anna and Zayn.