#but if i do adopt an interest and the person hurts me it ruins the thing for me and ill drop it so fast. so theres also that

[alchemiclee]

i'm the type of autistic that would happily adopt the special interest of someone I enjoy talking to/being around

[miley1442111]

all alone-s.reid

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summary: spencer doesn't want to get hurt, too bad it hurts you in the process

pairing: spencer reid x fem reader

warnings: spencer's a dick in this, reader puts him in his place :)

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You were the new office genius. You’d just joined straight out of the academy, but with your genius, and your experience, you’d been brought straight to the BAU. 

What experience, you may ask? 

Your psychiatry and psychology degrees, oh, and the eidetic memory, IQ of 190, and Hyperthymesia you had. 

And the experience you’d had with a certain serial killer. Your father, Jason O’Neill, had been caught a few months ago, and after that you’d been given a full-time position. You got on well with the team, though one clearly didn’t like you. Dr. Spencer Reid. Apparently he was your equal in intelligence, though you never knew, he refused to speak to you. You probably had a more bubbly personality than the BAU regularly hired, but that had been disproven upon meeting Penelope, the Technical Analyst. 

He just didn’t like you. Oh well. It wasn’t going to ruin your life. You didn’t really give a shit. 

He gave a shit. He cared far too much. 

“Spencer, I’ve got your coffee, extra sugar,” you smiled as you handed out the drinks you’d brought the team from the cafe down the road from the small police station. You handed it to him, not waiting for an answer, he never gave one.

 Emily kicked him under the table. “What’s with you two?”

Spencer rolled his eyes and went back to his book. “Nothing.”

“She’s the nicest person on this team Spencer, yet you treat her like she’s just there for decoration.”

“She’s only good for two things, getting coffee, and keeping quiet,” he snapped, not realising you were behind him. You frowned, then hit him over the head with your bag as you were walking past, not sparing him a glance. 

Honestly, Spencer was practically in love with you since the second he’d met you. You were perfect, gorgeous smile, always something kind to say, always an interesting fact on your beautiful lips. He thought he could listen to you talk forever. Your voice made his day. Your eyes on his made him feel things he never thought he’d be lucky enough to feel. 

But he’d never let his guard down again. Not after Maeve. Never again. 

He’d rather be alone, though everyday you became more tempting.

Everyday he wished he could be with you.

Everyday, just like today. 

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“Doctor,” Your voice rang through the precinct. “Aaron wants you.”

In recent weeks you’d adopted calling him ‘Doctor’, rather than Spencer. His name from your lips often went straight to his heart, he was a romantic, after all. Now ‘Doctor’ sounded clinical and impersonal. It was maddening. 

He didn’t answer, he just stared at his book, making his stand. 

“Doctor Reid, Aaron wants you,” You stated, standing beside him. “Reid-”

“Say my name,” he deadpanned, staring at his book, but not reading the words. 

“I just did,” you scoffed. “We aren’t school children, go to Aaron.’

You called everyone else by their first name, why not him? He knew the answer of course, but it still didn’t take away from his curiosity. Why had it affected you so much?

“Can you stop being a huge asshole for one day and just treat me like I’m a person and not just something here for you to fuck with? I deserve a spot on this team just like you do,” you boomed, smacking his book out of his hands. 

“I don’t think you do,” he said, standing up to his full height. 

“Well I guess it’s your lucky day because I’m leaving in a week,” you snarled back, then walked off to go back to the rest of the team. 

What? You were leaving?

Spencer caught up to you in 4 quick steps and he pulled you to the side of the corridor, shading you both from prying eyes in a broom closet. “You’re leaving?”

His eyes were frantic and… scared? You’d never seen him look at you with anything other than indifference, so this was quite the change.

“Yes.”

“Why?” He pleaded.

“Why? You are seriously asking why I’m leaving?” you sarcastically sighed. “Gosh, I guess it was that the coffee’s shit, or maybe it was the fact that I work in a hostile working environment!”

“That’s corporate bullshit-”

“No. It’s your bullshit. I have been nothing but kind to you in my few months here and every day it’s the same blank stare and shitty comments. Go fuck yourself Doctor Reid.”

You tried to pry out of the grip he had on your shoulders, but you couldn’t. He stood there, shocked and shameful at his actions. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he sighed, letting go of you to run his hands through his hair. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“I’m in love with you,” he admitted. 

“Pardon?” You squeaked, jaw-dropped. 

“I’m in love with you… a-and I didn’t think it was a good idea because the last time I was involved with someone like that-”

“Spencer, I don’t care. I’m leaving the BAU. For good.”

Spencer’s stomach sank. He was too late. You waited for a minute as he just stared at you. He was trying to process it, realise his mistakes,and find a way to make you stay in a 15 second window. 

“Bye Spencer,” you sighed and left him in that broom closet. 

All alone.

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criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)

[piracytheorist]

I love how even silly short missions manage to have their share of wholesomeness and family connection. It's like family is important in a series called Spy x Family or something.

Anyway, Anya is a kid that gets very attached to certain things - and despite being bold enough to use the knowledge she has due to her telepathy in order to make Loid do what she wants, she's not exactly a spoiled kid. She still sticks to Mr. Chimera, the only toy she had while she was in the orphanage. She doesn't ask for new clothes, or toys, or gadgets, what she asks for is experiences (the castle rescue, adopting Bond in specific after she was emotionally invested in him)... and peanuts, too.

So to her, the penguin plush is not just one toy from her plethora of toys that got ruined. It's a toy that her dad got for her. It's a souvenir of their aquarium adventure, where she helped him locate the penguin he needed to find and even arrest the criminal who wanted to get the secret information about the weapon. It's a reminder of how she took part and helped him in his mission. Just a replacement stuffed penguin won't do. It's not the toy itself, it's the memories connected to it. I mean, of course she's sad a toy of her got destroyed - by the dog she asked to have, no less - but it hurts even more knowing what this toy means to her.

And the show takes Anya's feelings seriously with that. The soft "Little by Little" score plays while Loid fixes the penguin, with Yor looking with anticipation. Bond feels sad and regretful, understanding the consequences of his actions and wanting to make it up to Anya. They're all invested in things getting better.

And once the penguin is ready, though with visible "scars" now, Loid reassures Anya that his new appearance is nothing to be ashamed of.

And the interesting thing? Twilight, Best Spy of Westalis, Master of DisguiseTM... stutters. He does so in Japanese both in the manga and the anime.

Which makes me wonder, considering his background and profession, how big his experience with scars is (and if we're gonna learn more about that, come on give the whump fan some scraps here 👀👀) (pls don't spoil me about the manga if we do, I want the whump but on its own time!) and if reaching into his own personal feelings about scars in order to resonate with Anya hit him just a little more than he expected. Or if he was so serious about it that he didn't know whether he should tell her something so grim. He's here dedicating himself into a deadly dangerous job so that kids like Anya won't have to suffer like he did as a kid, and yet he has to pass on to her something he learned the hard way.

Yeah yeah I'm here putting too much thought and grimness into what was supposed to be a wholesome moment. Hi I'm Nette and you'll be getting a lot of those in the future :)

[alreadyblondenow]

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

Summary: The start of a new life. Training to be an assassin and a chance to experience true love. The son of the leader of the Jeong clan fell in love with you while you two live your lives as assassins. He promised a quiet life, but when things went south. You decided to leave Jaehyun… and hide your daughter from him.

VOLUME I: PART 1 WORD COUNT: 7,889k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, just because 20k word count is not acceptable in one post hahaha. I'm sorry :( I will try to put warnings on every part of the story that has gory details. This will still focus on the love story but still I wanted to write again so this may be long. I hope everyone will enjoy every word of VOLUME I.

Too good to be true

When you singlehandedly ruined your life it’s a given fact that you became desperate to saving yourself especially when you know that no one else got your back. No family, no friends, it’s just you and your shadow. You’re an orphan who’s friendless, no one would take you and on top of that …. You’re fully capable of hurting people. That’s why everyone is scared of you. 

“The orphanage… cannot handle you anymore. You’re a good person y/n, you cause trouble because bullies won’t leave you alone… but you’re becoming… too dangerous. I’m sorry- it’s the Jeongs or the slums.” The head of the orphanage explains to you with sorry eyes. 

The Jeongs… Who are they? Am I finally getting adopted? You thought alone as you fix your things, preparing to leave first thing in the morning. Why does it have to be so rushed? Are they really excited to meet me? 

The next day, you were picked up by a tall man. A big, buff and tall man named Chanyeol. He looked sharp in his suit, he immediately explained that he will drive you to the Jeong’s residence and also explained your purpose there from now on. And that’s where your fantasies about having a family disappears. “You are adopted by the Jeongs to be one of their assasins. To kill for them” The words from that guy Chanyeol’s mouth sounded unreal, you wanted to ask if he’s just scaring you and if he’s joking. Apparently not. 

The Jeong’s residence was big. It’s like a paradise. It looks peaceful because it has a very green garden, big trees, flowers here and there, and nice staffs that wore black their entire life working for the Jeongs. There were three other guys arrived after you. They all look alone too and lost, and you figured they all came in different countries. 

“Taeyong, Yuta and Mark. This is Y/n,” a woman in black introduced them to you, they all said hi but you can see right through them… they all have this wall around them as if any time the people here are going to kill them any second. “From now on the five of you will be a team and will work with the Jeongs” she added. “Five? There’s only four of us here” Mark said, he’s the youngest. 

“You will meet the fifth member tomorrow before you training starts…” 

By the time she took you guys for a quick tour around the residence, your world became quiet as if you’re not interested anymore. You just want to rest and start what you need to do in this place. 

It feels good huh? You said to yourself as you stare in the mirror of your own bathroom. It feels good to finally know your purpose in life. The Jeongs gave you shelter, comfortable clothes that are all black but all new and nice, your own room with all the things you need… they even gave you a makeup kit. And you wonder whats that for. 

There were only 5 things they want you to remember. In exchange for the Jeong’s goodness, you need to:

Train to be an assassin everyday. 

Only one Holiday outside. 

Don’t make friends outside. We are your friends and family now. 

Look out for each other.

Earn your freedom. That means after your years of service, you will of course have your freedom. 

The terms were simple and you can only hope that killing someone is as simple as these rules too. 

Everything is too good to be true. 

Until now, you can’t believe that you’re lucky to have this kind of family now.

“So when are we going to meet the fifth member?” Taeyong asked, the oldest. He has a cold impression, scary but very handsome. 

“I’m here. Sorry- my sister and mother is very dramatic. They were having a hard time letting me go. By the way, I’m Jaehyun!” he said with a big smile in his face. He is the first person in this place who actually lit up the entire room with just a smile. 

He’s very handsome. Almost as if you were looking at a saint, you thought. 

“You look lost,” Yuta said, the Japanese guy who looked tough. “The four of us looked so lost when we arrived, but we all felt that we belonged here… but you, I believe you’re out of place. You don’t belong here you’re too happy”

“I’m not happy. I’m just as miserable as you are, I just don’t show it” Jaehyun said with a cocky smile. 

“Oh come on! It’s our first day together, what is up with this tension?” Mark tried to stop Jaehyun and Yuta from fighting, but Yuta knows the truth already. 

“This guy right here is the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Jeong. The next in line to be the next great Jeong” Yuta said with a smirk, mocking Jaehyun’s last name. And this time, he is getting on Jaehyun’s nerves already… but Jaehyun knew better than cause trouble. He calmed himself down and did not let his anger get him. 

Everyone in the room completely understood what’s happening here. He is the son or Mr. Jeong, Jeong Yoonoh, but they call him Jaehyun. He is next in line after Mr. Jeong, the one and only son and is expected to take the family business when the time comes. 

A typical plot, everyone thought. But training your one and only son to be a monster is a different kind of brutality. You can only imagine what kind of struggles he’s carrying. 

“On behalf of my parents, and family, I would like to apologies for them” he bowed in front of everyone sincerely, “I will start training with you guys but that doesn’t mean I am not grateful to sacrificing your lives for our clan. Thank you” after that, he walked towards Yuta whispered beside his shoulder, 

“Don’t you think it’s fucked up? That my father sent me here- his only son. You don’t know me” Jaehyun said sternly that made Yuta shut up. 

The room became quiet and as the first instructor enters, giving Jaehyun and Yuta a good punch before everything starts.  

And that is the start of your life here as an assassin. 

You’re adopted to be an assassin. You’re going to grow old here. 

The past few weeks was easy. You had the opportunity to know your colleagues, all four of them. Finally, people you can call family you thought. It’s part of your training to treat each and everyone as family because by the time you guys are sent for a mission, no one can be left behind. In other words, each and everyone of you should be capable of saving each other. 

Eventually, Jaehyun and Yuta became friends. Good friends. 

Months have passed and this was the beginning of every struggle. It has been heavy and hard. The training was harder. Everyone is bleeding but everyone grew stronger without you guys noticing. 

After a years of training, you became good with guns and became a good fighter as well. Theres nothing much of your story… yet. But you are loving this new life that the Jeongs have given to you. 

Jaehyun is good at everything. He was expected to do so. If not, his father will give him a hard time. During the training everyone could see the pressure that he carries everyday. The constant reminder of “I have to be great at this part,” you can basically see it in his face. 

Yuta became a swordsman, and is actually good with everything sharp. Eventually, you guys knew his story. That his family, The Nakamoto clan is in huge debt of the Jeongs, and he came in here voluntarily for the honor of his family. Obviously, besides Jaehyun, he’s the only person who has a family.  

Taeyong became the leader and can turn everything into a weapon. Everyone was quite expecting this already, aside from weapons Taeyong is good at strategizing… planning and organizing everything for everyone not to get killed. 

Mark, became really good at technology. He can hack every system. Unfortunately, because he’s the youngest, he’s not allowed to do the dirty job, only the techie stuff. Which he loves doing. 

Everyone matured in their own way, Chanyeol even got married. But even though time flies so fast they haven’t sent anyone of you to kill somebody yet. 

It was a scary thought. Everyday you wake up thinking, “Is this the day?”. Is this going to be the day that you will kill for the first time in your life? Its not that you kill innocent people, the people that you’re about to kill in the future probably deserves it. At least thats what you’re told. 

You thought that accepting the reality of what you’re doing is the hardest thing but no. “Wait until your first kill. It’s like your first love, you will never forget it” Chanyeol said during one of his lectures.

But by the time everyone had their first kill already, everyone became unstoppable. 

They started training you at the age of 19 and watched you grow to be a young assassin at the age of 24. You grew up ruthless, crazy, and merciless. You have your own way of killing the people you need to kill, you do it fast, but whenever you want to play, you watch their souls leave their eyes. You even became Jaehyun’s father his favorite assassin because you could be anything and you could kill anyone. 

“You could be a perfect Jeong,” Jaehyun joked while you two are sharpening knives that you both used from training earlier. You watch him in front of you and you cant help but notice, he really is handsome but Jaehyun is not only handsome because of his look. Maybe… he’s handsome in you’re eyes because he’s actually nice, he’s nice at the staffs here, he’s nice to you, heck… he takes care of you. He grew up well despite the dangerous environment he’s already in. 

“I don’t want to be a Jeong- I’m not perfect,” you said while you work with a knife. 

“You’re perfect in my eyes and in my father’s eyes,” he replied. 

By this time you just wanted to shut him up and make him stop. Quite annoying actually. “So what, you want to be siblings with me? You have sisters aren’t they enough? or you want someone who kills people for a living as your sister?” 

“Nope. What I meant was marry me someday,” He bravely said. 

There was silence between you two, awkwardness. Jaehyun really saw the ugly truth that it’s not yet time to confess his feeling to you. Not this way, but well, at least he tried. 

“I’m just kidding” he added to take away the awkwardness, “Dinner is almost ready, don’t be late okay?” 

There’s nothing in the world you hate the most than going on a mission alone. You’ve always done missions alone though, but whenever it gets too long to finish, you miss home a little too much as days go by. 

New York is always busy. It never gave you the calm feeling that you’ve been yearning for.

Again, Its lonely when you do missions away from home. It’s the kind of mission where you have to be patient and plan your kill silently, and without trace. The one that you have to plan oh so carefully because you have to make it look like an accident. And because it’s frustrating you, you’re now looking at a beautiful sunset, breathing in and out, on this busy park. Feeling the cold breeze of today, feeling it kiss your face, it’s almost Christmas you tell yourself and shook your head immediately because you just missed home even more.

Another thing you hate about being lonely, is that you kept thinking about the blurry future. The one that was promised after years of service, your freedom. You can’t help but think about hows it like to have a normal life, quiet mornings, experiencing love, experiencing heartbreak, new beginnings and discover opportunities. 

It was calm but at the same time, noisy for a moment, until you received a call from an unknown number. Little did you know, this phone call will change your life. 

“Hello?” You wait for the person on the other line to talk. 

“Well, you look lonely. What’s bothering you?” 

Of course you knew that voice. The voice that gave you a smile tonight, and has been making you smile ever since you two met. 

“You could ruin both of our missions-“ you giggle through the phone but Jaehyun was beside you already and pulled you in for a warm hug. 

“Why are you dressed so thin?” He said, looking fine as ever while he talks to you. He was all red, his nose, his ears, he looked like he’s really freezing but he did not hesitate to give you his coat. 

“I didn’t know that we were on the exact same location” you said as you swing your arms around his and stay close to him. Motioning him to walk with you. 

“I didn’t know it either but, Mark told me that we were. He also said that you’ve been home sick lately” 

“Yeah. I’ve been- it’s frustrating me Jae. I can’t shake him up and point him towards my trap” 

“Patience. Just be patient,” he smiles. 

The night went on beautifully. Jaehyun took you to dinner, had couple of drinks, walked around town, took pictures together like you’re on vacation, you two were playing around, making alibis, wondering if anyone from your missions pass by and recognize any of you. It will ruin both your covers, and what you two are doing right now is dangerous. 

While you two are walking towards your apartment, you asked Jaehyun, “Have you ever had a girlfriend before?” 

“Nope. Nothing real. It’s all for the mission, I guess. Been with a couple of girls, all part of the mission” Jaehyun answers. 

“Me too. Sometimes when I’m with someone, I can’t help but think what’s it like to have the real thing” 

And that gave Jaehyun a stupid idea. A stupid idea to make use of your time together here in Nee York. 

It’s a beautiful time. 

A beautiful time to be together. 

If he couldn’t admit his feelings to you, he will drive you towards love instead and make you love him.

“Thank you for tonight Jae, I really needed it” you reached out for his hand and gave it a good squeeze before pulling him in for a hug before you go inside. 

“Hey can I visit you again tomorrow?” Jaehyun asks, with a smile. 

“Of course. Good night Jae,” you said sweetly.

As promised, Jaehyun visited you the next day, and the day after that, and the following days. 

Your friendship bloomed beautifully but it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t just friendship this time. You’re not stupid, you didn't miss how he puts his arm around your waist and keep you close whenever the place gets too crowded. Like that time while you two rode the subway together, he kept you close and made you feel safe.. as if you’re not capable of saving yourself. 

He made you feel like you can depend on him. He made you feel like he’s your man. 

But most importantly, you can see that Jaehyun has been putting the work for the both of you. 

He has been doing the things he likes with you, while you do the things you like with him. It was beautiful you thought. 

You’ve always wanted to hug someone in the morning and tell them good morning. 

You’ve always wanted to make coffee for someone, not because you have to, but because you actually want to. 

You’ve always wanted to have quiet moments while you read a book, and just enjoy a good day quietly… with your someone. With Jaehyun, it was always calm and warm. 

Like this afternoon. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jaehyun asks while playing with your hair. You on the other hand is feeling very comfortable laying your head in his lap. 

“I love the time we spent together… I can’t help but think of  the day we finally get to go home… are we going to be close like this?” 

“You’re thinking too much—“ 

“Yeah you’re right I’m thinking too much,” you got up quickly from your comfort because it pissed you off. How can he disregard what you just said to him… it was basically a confession. 

But just before you walk away from him, he was quick to grab your hand, and made him face you. 

The tension between you two was intensifying. He’s never touched you like this or be close like this. 

Then he finally kissed you. 

After years of yearning, patience and stopping himself from confessing. He finally did it. 

It was a beautiful afternoon. A beautiful afternoon to kiss and confess each other’s feelings through the way you kiss each other, the way your hands roam around, and the way sweet words just comes out from your mouths naturally. 

He motioned you towards your shared room, hands carefully undress each other in between giggling and whispering. 

It all felt right at the moment. 

His hands are warm when it roams around your skin, it feels like you’re burning in want when his fingers first glide on your wet slit while his mouth is busy kissing your neck and whispering the things you should do. Like, ‘open your legs more,— thats more I like it’, ‘do you want cum already or should I do more?’ ‘Calm down, you look like you’re about to cum’ ‘I want to hear my name’ 

And in between those lustful moment, he kisses you sweetly, as if he’s telling you ‘please’ 

When he saw that you’re already soaking, his kisses went down along your body, kissing and licking your boobs, taking his time to turn you on again and again, until he reaches your pussy and did not waited a second to kiss it and spread your pussy lips. Working with his fingers, up and down and taking turns with his mouth. Time seems to be slowing down at the moment while you arch your back and unintentionally grip Jaehyun’s hair while you enjoy every second of his what his mouth, lips, tongue and fingers could do to you. 

Until you reach your first high and asked for more. 

He reached for your hand and made you pump his cock, “ready?” He asks, you just nod sweetly and reached for his face to kiss him hungrily. 

It didn’t hurt that much but there was a good stretch. He was big after all, and his rawness felt so good around your walls you can’t get enough of it. 

He thrusted slowly, kissing you while he focuses on making you feel good, careful not to hurt you. 

“Fuck- you fuck so good,” with heavy breaths that compliment came out of nowhere he just kissed your neck to respond to that. “Are you really this good at everything Jaehyun?” You added, swinging your arms around his body, touching every part of him which he loves. You touch his body while he looks at you eye to eye, you put one finger in his mouth and it was just another paradise. 

When you feel him asking for more. You comply to what he wanted to do. He flipped you on your stomach and licked your entrance before you feel him kiss your back which made you weak and land face first on the mattress. Little did you know, it was just his way to get you on his favorite sex position. 

Now your on all fours, face on the mattress while Jaehyun thrusts on your pussy slowly. You can feel his hands rest on your ass, giving a slight smack whenever you try to put it down, but he was also quick to replace it with a kiss before going back to business. 

“You don’t know how many times I imagined doing this to you,” he whispers and planted kisses on your face. 

When he felt you clenching around his cock, he fucked you faster making the bed rock and mattress creak. He came inside you of course, while kissing your back and soothing your right ass cheek. When he pulled out, he inserted one finger which felt nice and made you excited again. 

“We’ll go another round,” he winked and watched his cum come out of your pussy. 

That night, you two stayed in bed and fuck more than you could have imagine. 

Of course there’s a time where you just talked about your feelings. How much you two don’t want to go back just yet and how much you wanted this relationship to work. 

After that night, you don’t need to imagine what real love feels like. 

Love and home suddenly became a person for you and that’s Jaehyun. 

You can feel his presence already whenever you feel like he’ll arrive anytime soon at your doorstep and shower him with kisses. Love is knowing that someone will come home to you. Love is watching a movie together, and not noticing that one of you is sleeping already. Love is trying to impress Jaehyun with your cooking skills, and even though he’s a better cook he says you cook better. 

Love is having someone to comfort you whenever you have nightmares and you see the faces of the people you kill in your dreams. 

“Y/n, wake up, baby you’re having a nightmare” 

Jaehyun open the lampshade and got you a glass of water after successfully waking you up. He’s been waking up for five minutes already. He was so worried. 

When you’re all calm again, your now watching the rain outside and enjoying the quiet evening. Arms around each other, keeping each other warm.

“We’ve experienced tough shit — I really believe that we deserve each other’s love” he whispers so he wont ruin the quietness of a beautiful night. 

Days continue to be beautiful with Jaehyun. It felt like a dream but he was a hundred percent real because he proves it every day. The moment you wake up, you get to see his handsome face. Arms around you, like he’s never planning to let you go. 

You reached your vibrating phone and answer the call, Jeno. He was your mission. Your fake boyfriend. The one you need to kill. 

“Hello?” You answered, trying to get out of Jaehyun’s embrace but too late, you woke him up and decided not let you go. As he’s reminding you who your real boyfriend is. He thought of teasing you while you’re on the call but he knew better. Work should be respected.

“Hey, I just miss you… where have you been?” Jeno says, giving you a hint that he knew you were cheating and seeing a man beside him. Of course, you knew that already, Jaehyun mentioned that Jeno sent a gut to tail on him. Your boyfriend just laughed it out, he sees Jeno as a joke.

“I was actually just gonna call you— sorry I’ve been busy with work, with the coming holidays”

But even though Jeno knew you’re cheating, he still wanted to make things work. So he tries. “Can we go on a vacation tomorrow? Please? Days have been stressful and I just miss you” 

“Tomorrow? Uhh.. sure why not? Text me the details? Do you want to grab dinner tonight?” Words continue to come out of your mouth that hurt Jaehyun. But what can you do? You still have to play the part. 

When the call ended Jaehyun was silent. His eyes were closed and hasn’t said a word the moment you ended the call. 

But the man… truly and deeply loves you. So he stopped being childish and greet you good morning and showered you with kisses. 

“So I guess we have morning until afternoon then,” he said and kissed your shoulders. You just smiled and kissed him good morning which turned you on, “Why do you have to be so damn irresistable?” 

Jaehyun just chuckled and kissed your lips for the last time before he got up from bed, “I know we can’t get enough of each other but we have to get up now, it’s a busy day for the both of us but… can I just kill Jeno and have you for myself?” he joked. 

Even though Jaehyun knew that this is all part of the job, he can’t help but think that … he can’t just let you allow them to touch you. He wanted you to at least… think of him… 

The whole morning was unexpectedly quiet. You know the reason so you confronted him. “I wont let him lay a finger on me from now on, I promise” you said and hugged him behind while he’s cooking. “I know you’re worried. But please don’t forget that I am more than capable to protect myself”

“Thank you for promising,” he smiled and kissed you. When Jeno kept you away from Jaehyun it was torture for you. You used to like it whenever you and Jeno have sex, hell- that’s the reason why you got him around your finger. But now that you’ve experienced love finally and you know how making love feels like… you just can’t let Jeno touch you ever again. 

The whole trip was a mess. You stopped yourself from just slitting his throat while he’s sleeping. He didn’t like it when you stop him from having sex whenever he asks you to. He hated every reason you give him, but he never forced you. Of course Jeno knew this was because you’re cheating on him. He was planning to get you killed. Little did he know, you’re already ten steps ahead of him. 

By the time you and Jeno got back from that wasted vacation, he kept you on his side most of the time. Making sure you don’t have time for Jaehyun. He visits your apartment every night, pick you up in the morning, and spend time with you whenever he can. He even admitted that he really loves you. You just faked it and told him, you love him too. It’s disgusting. 

Jeno is a head of a drug cartel. He made a very famous drug that made a lot of people crazy about it. Too much of it can definitely kill you. That’s what happened to the daughter of Mr. Seo. Well she didn’t die, almost die. Mr. Seo is a powerful man that has great connections with great doctors whom took care of her daughter. Long story short, the daughter was Jeno’s ex-girlfriend, they made that drug together but Mr. Seo denied that his daughter had anything to do with it. 

By the way, Mr. Seo is Mr. Jeong’s longtime business partner. And that’s why you’re here. To serve revenge to someone’s daughter. 

Jaehyun on the other hand, is here to protect Mr. Seo’s daughter, just in case Jeno tries to send someone and kill her. But he just protects the girl from a far. Jaehyun is very careful with his job, he hates messy things. He’s the silent killer not you. 

“Can we just switch missions? I’ll protect the girl and you kill Jeno?” you joke and booped his nose. You just finished having sex and it really felt good to be fucked by the man you love after for so long you thought. This has been the first night you’ve been together, ever since Jeno kept you away. This wouldn’t even happen if Jaehyun didn’t kill the man tailing him. Poor guy you thought. 

“Don’t give me ideas,” he laughed and made you sit on top of him, creating a great view of your body, you then reached for his cock and surprised him. He didn’t expect that you’d put it in and grind on top of him. 

“You were saying?” you wanted him to continue what he was saying while you fuck him. Yes, fuck him. 

“I said…” he croaked, almost a moan. He couldn’t even finish a sentence, “don’t give me ideas that I could easily do” he pulled you down so you’re closer to him, kissing your neck while you continue what you do. In a matter of minutes, Jaehyun came and you stayed on to him, feeling him catch his breath. 

“If Jeno dies, we both come home— but I’m not pressuring you,” he laughed and kissed you, “I’m just a little excited to what’s next for our life after this mission, you know?”

But you were already sleeping when he checked up on you. Of course he didn’t just let you sleep naked on top of him, gently he made lay you down beside him and looked for clean clothes to cover you up. He kissed you goodbye because he needed to work tonight. 

The next day, there was something off with Jeno that he kept on getting mad and he’s getting into your nerves. That pushed you to go for the kill and just use a knife to kill him. To your surprise, he was specially skilled with sharp objects too. You didn’t back down of course, you gave his pretty face a nice scar, just incase he survives and you fail to kill him, at least he will remember you. 

“Your boyfriend is an assassin too, I know that much. He’s dead now,” 

And those words got the best of you. It caught you off guard making him had the chance to pierce the knife deep. 

Now you’re on weak on the floor bleeding and trying to survive. But your mind is really not on what’s happening to you, you don’t care if you die. But you care if Jaehyun is really dead. It can’t be. He’s the greatest assassin you’ve ever seen. 

You feel your body getting weaker and weaker as you crawl away from Jeno… then suddenly you hear a thud. And heard someone call your name… 

“Y/n— fuck, stay with me baby,” 

It was Jaehyun. You’re sure that he’s well and alive. 

“It’s just a cut Jae, I’ll live for sure,” 

Jaehyun on the other hand was quick to get materials he knew could save you. He also called for Mark’s to send help and clean up Jeno’s body. “Mark, Y/n needs help send a doctor to Jeno’s place now and clean up”

“Got it! Yuta is also on his way to fill in for you— we had a lead on,”

“Mark, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I don’t care if that girl dies. Y/n needs me, how long do we have to wait?”

“S-sorry, but help will be there 20 minutes tops”

Jaehyun didn’t even said thank you or good bye to Mark. He just ended the call and took care of you because you passed out already. Jaehyun was panicking already and more than furious that he shot Jeno’s dead body a few more times to release his anger towards him. 

When you finally wake up, you see Jaehyun beside you sleeping. You figured maybe he didn’t even got the chance to rest from last night. 

This mission was more than fucked up. You failed. Jaehyun failed. All because you finally have a weakness now, and it’s Jaehyun. This is bad you thought.   

By the time you’re all well and ready to go home, you thought that Jaehyun will go home with you and tell every truth to Chanyeol together. But no. He needed to stay behind because he needed to fix his own mess for you and for him. You could have helped him but you’re too weak at the moment. 

When you came back, Chanyeol was beyond furious, he told you ugly truths… that made you force yourself to the things you don’t like. Like, leaving Jaehyun. 

“He didn’t tell you that the girl he was protecting secretly was his future fiance?” Chanyeol smirked, he didn’t want to hurt you either but he needed to tell you the truth for your own good. After all, you’re like a daughter to him. 

“Are you really sure you love Jaehun?” you nod ‘yes’, of course. “What can you offer to him? Cant you see it? You two are not perfect for each other, he’s a son of a powerful man. Who are you y/n?”

And that hurt you.

“Have you ever imagined stepping into Jaehyun’s real world? You have to understand that you two are not meant for each other,” 

He was right. “Good thing Jaehyun’s father never heard of your relationship. He wanted you to work directly with him. Take this as a chance to redeem your last mission. And try to forget about Jaehyun while you’re away”

And just after Chanyeol talked to you, Jaehyun just arrived in 127 house, wearing the biggest smile on his face. Hoping for a welcome back kiss perhaps. But you avoided his touch. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, you don’t know where to begin but he already knew that Chanyeol a;ready brainwashed you, “Chanyeol is good at brainwashing Y/n, you know that”

“But that doesn’t mean that the things he told me aren’t true. I’m sorry Jae— it was childish. What we did was childish,”

“I can’t believe I’m fucking hearing this. AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN NEW YORK Y/N?!” He shouted. 

“I’m sorry,” is all you could say before turning your back on him. 

Maybe life is punishing your for all the lives you’ve taken without mercy.

You’ve been far from home way too long now… you’re long forgiven for what happened to New York now. 

At this point you don’t even know if what happened between you and Jaehyun was true or was it all just a dream or a fantasy made up. You don’t even have one single proof that you and Jaehyun shared something special there. You only have this heartbreak that you’ve been carrying for years, ever since you left. 

Given that you’re Mr. Jeong’s favorite assassin, you work tirelessly whenever he puts you on schedule. You’ve been assigned to be close to him and became his personal bodyguard, and go whenever he goes, and kill whenever he says so. Mr. Jeong is very busy man, he flies in and out of different countries and you alone is responsible with his safety for the whole time… well, you and other unnamed bodyguards that are foreign. But most of your days are spent on the Jeong’s skyscraper building. You just stand all day, everyday outside Mr. Jeong’s office and guard it. 

But by the time Chanyeol made you come back and put you on a field mission, you’ve never been so happy and excited to kill someone after so long. 

“I love seeing your smile Y/n,” Jaehyun welcomes you back with a hug, together with the others, “But you wont like this mission,” Jaehyun warns you. 

He talks to you like nothing happened. Like he wasn’t the reason why you were away from this home for far too long. You’re not mad at him. You’re just surprised on with how well he’s been and that’s the only thing you want him to be. Happy. 

While Mark is explaining what is what and who is who, you can’t help but think that Jaehyun was right with his warning earlier.For years and years of killing, this has been the hardest mission for you. It was as if you are looking for a ghost who kills people and you’re almost hopeless with this mission. 

Hendery. 

There are six Phantoms, Yangyang, Winwin and Xiaojun are all dead. And Hendery was the one assigned to you, while Ten and Kun are both hard to find because no one knew their faces. No one knew what Hendery looks like either, but Mark just so happens to know that he will have business in Hongkong on new year’s eve. That’s all the information he could give to you, because that’s all the information he has about Hendery.

The Phantoms are very rich chinese men who has many successful business around asia. They’re powerful because they kill every competition they have, and they kill strictly for  business and because of business. Business is everything with the Phantoms. And that’s the difference between the Jeongs and the Phantoms, the Jeongs kill for protection. 

Rumor has it that the Phantoms wanted to buy every business that the Jeongs own. And that is where the war started between them. 

“This time I really want you to be careful,” Jaehyun came out of nowhere while you were packing your things. 

“Privacy Mr.,” you joked, “I know your family owns me, but you don’t own me, yet.” you teased him, you were talking about him being the big boss someday. He just laughed and crossed his arms. He always looks nice in black with his golden ring, the only token he had from his mom, its like an I.D for him… so that people around this house will not forget that he’s still a Jeong. 

“When I killed Yangyang, the kid almost fooled me” he started and sat down your bed, “It was a loud kill, I almost fucked up” 

“That sounds like a joke, you never do loud kills ” you stopped packing and sat down with him. 

“He knew who I was… barely came out of his house alive” Suddenly the air in your room became cold… this has never happened to Jaehyun before. “They’re all jokers Y/n, they know us” 

That night, Jaehyun didn’t want leave your bed. You couldn’t sleep either, you just miss how his warmth can calm you and make you feel safe. He didn’t want to bombard you with words like “I miss you so much…” and tell you the things he has been doing while you were away. You have so little time together, and all he can do it show you how much he still feels for you. 

So he bravely kissed you. 

And you kissed him back. 

For a few minutes it felt right. Like you two were back in New York in that small little apartment. His kisses were sweet and inocent, his hands were all over you but on the right places, like while he intertwines his hands with yours and how he cups your face only to hold you closer. But when you two stopped and realized that this will get you two into trouble again. He let you turn your back against him. 

And theres nothing he could do and did not protest. 

He pulled your duvet and made sure youre warm tonight, kissed you one last time on your head and left your room. 

He still loves you. And that fact alone made you cry to sleep, because you still love him too. 

When you left for the mission, it was already loud and red all over Hongkong. Mark still has no further information about Hendery which makes you even more nervous. “Calm down, just read the room and trust your hunch” Mark said through your earpiece. 

“What if I kill the wrong guy Mark? Are you going to take responsibility-” but Chanyeol had the line even before you could finish. 

“Can you please calm down? Hendery is within the area already because his bodyguards are spotted… but still no visual on the target,” you sigh at what Chanyeol said, “Maybe Mark is right, read the room. It’s not hard to find someone who looks rich and has an army of bodyguards around” 

“Okay. Fine. I’ll move on my own since you two are so useless” 

You removed your earpiece and put it in your purse. 

You were ordered to just watch him during the event and go for the kill when the clock strikes 12 and the whole country will be so loud. You were having a hard time looking for him at the moment, who would have thought that it would be this hard. You drank your frustrations away, shot by shot. Until you’re becoming light headed and a little tipsy already. You can’t go home with a failed mission. Agin.

During the celebration, you noticed someone who’s really handsome and really attractive… actually, his family is so loud, you figured he was celebrating with his beautiful sisters and their kids. The room was not hard to read, they are just a normal family that will be in shock by the chaos you’re about to do later. Poor kids you thought. 

The kids were all cute, wearing colorful dresses, very energetic… it makes you dream about having your own someday. Will you have a daughter? A son? whatever it is, you will your kid with all your heart. 

Then suddenly… One of the kids approached you with a glass of water. 

What if… the water was poisoned. What if Hendery sent her? 

What on earth are you thinking Y/n? She’s a sweet kid. 

“My uncle thinks you need a glass of water,” she whispered and gave you the class… before the so called uncle finally approached you. 

Of course he knew you already. He knew beforehand that someone will try to kill him tonight because he has been attending funerals of his friends lately. But he did expect you. And by the time you and Hendery finally faced each other during new year’s eve in Hongkong, he fell in love with you. 

“It’s amazing how little human beings can have a power to us all” you smiled watching him. 

“Well those human beings can be little monsters too and can really dry up my wallet fast” he joked and sat beside you. 

One last look around to check if you still have any luck for Hendery… but looks like… today, is really not your day. 

For the whole night, you and that stranger talked and talked. Luring you into saying what your heart truly desires. He became your first friend outside your job as a killer, which is basically a sin and you could be punished for this. He made you feel like a normal person. 

At 12am, Hendery was still a no show. So instead, you enjoyed your time for yourself. 

Hendery let you play with his nieces, you two danced and talked and drink until you’re drunk enough to even remember your purpose. And by the end of the night, he bought a suite so you two could talk somewhere quiet. 

But it’s not what happened. It was intimacy in bed… that’s what happened. Good thing you weren’t actually clueless in this game so you get to satisfy him. But what really counted as a memory that night was the way he talked to you about freedom. Like he knows you already, like he’s trap somewhere too… like you. 

“While I was looking at your nieces earlier, I can’t help but think about my own future. Someday I want someone to drain my energy with how they drained ours earlier,” Hendery laughed at that fact, her nieces are all full of energy and you were both really tired playing with them. 

“I want to have a life,” you added. 

“Me too,” he said. 

“Hmm. What troubles you,” you asked while you play with his hair.

“I may look like a prince but I’m swimming in debt, I need to pay up. That’s how I could have a life,” 

It was too much private information in one night, you thought so you stopped asking questions and just lured him to have more sex with you. By the time you pass out sleeping on his chest, he thought…

He could easily kill you with one swift move right now. But no. 

The moment you wake up, he’s gone and left you a note.

You can kill me anytime. Come find me again. - Hendery.

And it was more than a frustration to you. You stare at the note that smelled like garden rose. You were more than angry and mad but you couldn’t let it out because your mind was busy searching for clues from last night… but then again, you remembered what Jaehyun said.

Yes, it was a failed mission. But theres a part of you that was actually happy that it failed. You can’t kill him in front of his family and his loving nieces. It will just plant trauma to them. And you can’t be the one who caused that. 

You came home from a failed mission. Chanyeol was beyond disappointed to you. Again. Not only you failed the mission, but you broke one of the rules. “You befriended an enemy Y/n. How could you kill him in the future now? What will you feel if you heard the news that Taeyong successfully killed your friend? — you also had sex with him. I am out of words…”  "Well, at least it wasn't Jaehyun right?"

It was silent in his office for a slow minute. You knew everything you did was wrong and you have nothing to blame. 

“You’re on schedule for three months, no rest days and no holidays,” 

By the time you and Chanyeol are done talking, Jaehyun was waiting outside. You figured he heard everything. 

“I think this Hendery guy fell in love with you. god y/n you’re so stupid when it comes to shit like this” Jaehyun said, he sounded jealous, of course he was. But even so, he brought you apples because you missed dinner.

“Like what?” you said as you munch the apples he gives you.

“Like when someone is showing you bold signs that they like you” Jaehyun continue to munch the apple. You were quiet because maybe he’s right. 

“I like you. Cant you see it?” 

I’m well aware Jae. But you didn’t say that. You didn’t want to talk about your relationship tonight. You can’t get Hendery out of your head. “Hendery is different-“ is all you said.

Jaehyun scoffed, “Of course you’d say that. What you like him too?” the change of his tone bothers you already. 

“Hendery is different because he opened the Pandora’s box for me. He had nieces, cute nieces Jae. And I spent time with his family that is super sweet,” you tried to explain nicely, but he keeps on pushing you. 

“So you do like him?” theres a part of him that is envy and jealous that Hendery was the one who got to opened that “pandora's box” for you. 

“No Jae. I don’t like him. I only love the things he made me experience that night. To have family, to be able to play with kids, to dream for my own… to dream of my own freedom,” 

And then there it is. 

Jaehyun stopped himself from talking because he knew this conversation could turn into a fight. He also realized, that Hendery showed you different things, a different angle in life that he can’t give you. For now. His father adopted you to be an assassin, and caged you in the world of killings. 

Jaehyun was quiet and all he could do was hug you and calm you down. But you pushed him. Hard. And made him leave.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

[wangxianficrecs]

Catharsis by Starfell123

Catharsis

by Starfell123

T, WIP, 7k, Wangxian

Summary: “Look, I know I’m probably foolish. I know that the chances of this not being a business-meeting are slim to none, but I need to know for sure. If Uncle Jiang wants to apologize, I’ll give him a chance to do so. If not, I want to tell him where to stick it in person.” Thirteen years after being thrown out by the Jiangs, Jiang Fengmian contacts Wei Wuxian and asks to meet. Wei Wuxian goes in the hopes of reconciling with his adopted family, but the circumstances he finds himself in wont allow that to happen. What will he do when his former guardian tries to arrange a marriage for him that will benefit the Jiang-sect? Kay's comments: This story felt very satisfying. Thirteen years after being kicked out by Madam Yu, Wei Wuxian is thriving. He's filthy rich, he's surrounded by people who love and support him, he has a successful company and now, Jiang Fengmian turns up because the Jiang Sect is struggling and thinks he can just marry Wei Wuxian off as though he's still part of the sect, because technically, he was never formally struck of the disciple rosters. Also, rest in pieces Madam Yu, she's not missed. Really loved how soft Wangxian were for each other. Excerpt: Now the Jin-sect was on the verge of collapse and several sects stood on the brink of financial ruin. Wei Wuxian hadn’t been all that interested in listening to the financial portion of the story - he let Qing-jie handle their money for a reason! - but he’d understood enough to know that things were BAD. “I am aware of the monetary issues most sects face in the wake of Jin Guangyao’s schemes. Have you found a way to save Yunmeng Jiang?” “Yes. The Lan-sect has offered to enter an alliance with us. An alliance based on marriage.” Jiang Fengmian gave him a significant look and Wei Wuxian’s thoughts started racing. A marriage alliance. Someone from the Jiang-sect was getting married to a Lan. Who…? He tried to mask his growing dread with a smile. “Oh, that’s so sweet! Did you call me here to invite me to Jiang Cheng’s wedding?” Jiang Fengmian grimaced. “Not exactly…” Before he had a chance to say anything else, the door opened to reveal two figures clad in white.

pov wei wuxian, modern setting, modern with magic, wei wuxian leaves the yunmeng jiang sect, attempted arranged marriage, bad parents jiang fengmian & yu ziyuan, somebody lives/not everybody dies, hurt/comfort, happy ending, genius wei wuxian, rich wei wuxian, families of choice

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about terukaneaoi! I love them too much to be normal, so expect everything to be based on canon but without the polish of a 'proper analysis'

Let's start with something simple: Aoi is scared of thunder, Teru can create it.

Teru's presence puts her on edge when he uses his powers, but slowly I can see him make her get used to lightning.

Teru's bracelet already gives her a connection between lightning and protection. She seems troubled when she uses it, but she does appreciate this protection, to the point she wears it in school even on her play outfit.

The more she gets used to Teru lightning, and the more her fondness for him as a person grows, the stronger this association will become, and with time I can see her fear of storms disappearing. She associates Teru with a big doggy after all, it's not a very scary view.

Akane will stop being worried about Aoi every time it storms, and start associating lightning with something that makes his partners happy.

Speaking of which, Teru and Aoi have similar interests: Aoi likes shark movies, and teru is cool watching horror movies with people he treasures. Aoi likes sweets and games, Teru likes arcade games and places that sell sugary sweets.

Teru has a more 'out of home/extreme' version of Aoi's hobby.

Teru would force her out of her comfort zone which can be wonderful, specially with how gentle he is with Aoi but I can see him getting too excited when he have fun and going overboard.

Thankfully Akane is the kind of guy who will take bullets for Aoi, so if Teru carries the Aois around like he does with Kou and Nene, Akane would either offer himself a sacrificial lamb so Aoi can rest or protect her from his more extreme ideas. Protecting Aoi is like an instinct for Akane at this point.

(unrelated but Akane calling Teru 'sir', and Aoi always holding to Akane's sleeve when she wants to get closer to him is very cute to me)

Now let's talk about something that would make their relationship a tad complicated and all the more interesting: their view on romance.

Aoi and Akane have jealousy issues and are too proud to admit when they are being possessive.

The romance in their head is super old-fashioned, they don't do casual dating, and if there is romantic interest involved they expect a marriage: Akane immediately imagines Teru and Aoi getting married when teru threatens to ask her out on a date in chapter 59, and Aoi's excuse not to date Akane is that she can't marry a guy that will make her be named Aoi Aoi.

Teru can fix this issue by making the two adopt the Minamoto surname, erasing Aoi's best excuse and likely forcing the poor coward to take a step.

However, if the Aois eventually cave in to Teru barging into their lives, and include him in their hopelessly romantic standards they would gain a problem, a very annoying problem called "Teru has a lot of fans and he actually likes the attention and doesn't wish any harm on them, so Akane can't hit his admires with a baseball bat like he does with Aoi's ." cause teru wouldn't like that and Akane is the kind of guy that would get horrified if he learns he is hurting a loved one and immediately try to fix it.

With nothing else to be done, the two would be very salty about it.

Aoi would easily be hit the worst. Her whole day gets ruined when Akane gets 1 admirer that he bluntly rejects, refusing to even take the chocolate, much less the girl's feelings.

So dating Teru, who smiles sweetly at his fans and does not care about his class making a pavilion of him with merchandise available, would be her worst nightmare.

Just picturing how she would react to moments where Teru is adored is so pitiful to me, cause I guarantee teru will still have a million fans after they starts dating, he has celebrity status. His fans love him even after they give up on a relationship with him, even Nene, who is far from his biggest fan, takes time to fully let go of her worship with him.

Aoi is also very self-conscious, the poor girl acts like people's perception of her doesn't matter but she is extremely arrogant, she will fight her crush on Teru harder than her crush on Akane because she refuses to believe she is on the same level as his fangirls.

She look down on Teru's fangirls, to some extent, telling people teru is the kind of boy every girl can fall in love with, but making sure to establish he is not her type. She used to only ever mention him to try to connect with Nene, acting so fake it's straight up condescending.

So geting a crush on Teru would give Aoi a gigantic crisis.

Both Akanes love to pretend they aren't the jealous tipe, but since they have no issues looking after each other, they would consistently use each other as excuses to reprimand Teru. So we have both Aois going "I am not bothered, not at all, but think about how much Ao-chan/Akane-kun is affected by it."

I feel like Teru would make the Aois jealous on purpose at first because he likes to torment them, and because it makes him feel special, he adores attention, but when he realizes how much it bothers Aoi he'll try to set boundaries with his fans, while simultaneously calling her out for being overly insecure, something Akane is too smitten to do when not in extreme scenarios.

Teru is not nearly as possessive as the Aois: As of now in the manga, it realistically doesn't matter if Teru likes Aoi, Akane, or the two, cause his chance of scoring a date with either is zero. At the start of the manga, he doesn't seem jealous when Akane gushes about his undying love for Aoi or when guys throw themselves at Aoi's feet. Teru is chill. It's not like anyone is making any progress so why worry?

BUT the second he catches Aoi and Akane near kissing he does not even think about doing the whole 'oh I will suppress my feelings so I do not burden them' cliché, he slams himself into their relationship, while simultaneously pushing Aoi and Akane together.

Teru talks a lot about stealing Aoi from Akane but he has no intention of doing so: He waited until the two resolved their issue in chapter 69 before barging in. He let them have a moment in the tunnel despite knowing it could be Aoi's last day 'alive'. He tries to hang out with both whenever possible. He let Akane go after Aoi in the rescue, and so on. It's not like he wants them away from each other, he just wants to be there with them.

Unrelated, but Teru's shocked "whoa" is so funny to me, cause it was revealed in the relay interview that the one thing Teru has issues with regarding Akane is his approach to win Aoi's heart.

The approach he is talking about here is before the grim reaper arc, when Akane used to tactlessly confess his love everyday and treat her like an untouchable goddess. So the 'male lead of a romance manga' approach Akane has going on in chapter 69 must truly have been a shock to Teru.

"whoa." feels as if he is shocked, appalled, but also reluctantly impressed.

Aoi and Akane are so pretty in Teru's eyes, is insane actually.

In short: I think Teru would not care if people flirt with Aoi and Akane, but he will get jealous and more clingy if Akane gives Aoi too much attention, or Aoi neglects him. The only people he can ever be jealous of are the Akanes themselves.

They all have interesting connections separated too.

Akane bonded with Teru about their mutual duties as student council members, which makes them used to work together, and also bond over their core belief when it comes to human life: both value it, albeit for different reasons, and share a similar kind of hatred for the supernaturals that endanger it.

Akane and Aoi bond about being childhood friends and having the same core belief when it comes to romance. They are fundamental parts of each other's life, witnessing the other grow, how they changed and how they stayed the same. They know each other better than anyone.

Teru and Aoi bond over feeling alienated from their peers. They don't understand each other, and their experiences and reasons for feeling this way are incredibly different, but they understand the feeling of being different better than any other human character.

One of the things the three share in common is that they are all petty with each other.

Teru wants to be a good guide in chapter 70, but both Aois are still salty about the kiss he interrupted and refuse to take his hand. Akane is always delighted to drag Teru down, just as Teru is to bully him, and Aoi looks happy propositionally making Akane jealous.

It combines into the best kind of 'wow they are awful, I love them' interactions.

It's like Teru's mere presence brings the worst out of the Aois, but despite Akane and Aoi's confusion when it comes to Teru a lot of times, they don't hate him. They grow fond of him.

Akane grow to respect Teru. I would go as far as to say that deep down he always admired him a little, because his perception of Teru changes from "a demon" to "a nice husband that would make Aoi happy" in the span of 20 chapters.

The three can be unconventional about their care for each other, but to me, it is undeniable they value each other opinions and well being.

Even Aoi grows a soft spot for Teru, and this strange but prevalent display of care in their actions speaks volumes.

Terukaneaoi can make each other better just as easily as they can make each other worse. They balance each other out while leaving space for a lot of conflicts that can be explored, honestly, they are plain fun, and I adore them.

Bonus: Their height difference is beautiful, just look at them!

[lwiann]

i adore your durge so much please share facts about him if you are so inclined

omg thank you for taking interest in him... 🥺

He's a really quiet guy who takes the cult business seriously. He's got insane father issues with Bhaal and does everything he can to be his perfect son. Hence the extreme religious crisis when he met and got obsessed with Gortash to the point where he would punish himself through self-flagellation and offering more bodies to him. Self punishment has always been something he did when he thinks he disobeyed Bhaal, but it was never that bad until Gortash... hjkgfkdfg anyway..

He enjoys the killing and whatnot.. typical durge stuff. Huge ego, pretty pompous. but there were times when he'd wish more in life and question his purpose especially during the start of his fall from grace. questioning what he wants aside from killing. be with who he wants. I cant ever talk about him without bringing up Gortash hjfkff but Gortash really did ruin him because for the first time, he wants something more than the purpose his murderous father has given him. His one true equal in this world. The only person whom he has told his real name that was given to him by his adoptive family before the urges came. Yet the only way he knew how to express his love is to tell him "i will kill you on my father's altar and then myself" lmao.. just two very emotionally constipated evil people honestly.

Post-tadpole, he tries redeeming himself and ultimately fails because I think it's such good tragedy. He develops a thing with Gale but can never really commit to anything because the moment he woke up on that pod, there is a hole in his heart in the shape of a tyrant he can barely remember. So it's more of a complicated interest in gale. I am torn between: Gale makes him sane and he's truly the only person that he never wants to hurt. or someone he wants to corrupt. mostly leaning on the latter. but less corruption and more of trying to maximize his potential, is what Vanh believes he's doing anyway. he's still very much a silly fucked up evil guy with or without bhaal...

I could go on and on... he's so special to me jgdfkgkkg...

when he's not being an undiagnosed edgelord (lol) he likes the sky, he likes the ocean. he likes watching the tyrant tinker with his metals and inventions. He likes watching the wizard cook. he's very observant in an almost creepy way. He likes being alone too where nothing can disturb him.

as a cult leader, hes just a very annoying guy when he talks, honestly. he could go and on and on about his father and his unholy mission and i like to think he would be banned from fortnite lobbies 💀💀

[thewayuarent]

Perfect victim Sand

(Except he’s not)

Sand is a quite interesting case to study. There are a lot of things to love about him and trust me I do. But. He is the closest thing we have in this show to the perfect victim idea. I mean, even Force jokes about it (god I love this man).

The thing is, I have a strong feeling that huge part of the fandom literally adopted him. Like you know, compensating him absent mommy and daddy. His mother is great woman, she’s loving and caring, but she is far from an actual parental figure - @emotionallychargedtowel made a great analysis on that topic and how it clearly influenced Sand.

Maybe that’s something about Sand being genuinely loving and caring character himself. Maybe it’s because we spend 5 episodes with him being absolutely adequate and not minding others business and by the moment of episode 6 the idea of Sand was already formed. Maybe it’s about Ray pulling Sand through a lot of shit. Maybe it’s something about First’s babygirl vibes, amazing microexpressions and his big boba eyes that easily penetrates the soul. Maybe it’s all the above and more.

But Sand gets the most I’ll protect him by all cost vibes (I get it, I want to protect him too, he’s my sad stupid baby, how can I not). And while it’s understandable to some degree, it doesn’t mean Sand is a victim in every situation he himself, series or fandom try to apply on him.

And yes, it’s specifically about Sand and Top beef. While we don’t know the full story yet, we know the basis: Sand had a lover, this lover cheated on him with Top. Right? Except that in Sand’s mind this story looks a bit different.

Not once, but twice Sand claims that Top “stole his lover”. And I’m sorry to bring it to you, my precious sad baby with big beautiful eyes, but your lover is a human being. They’re not a car, or watch, or a cow. They are a person. And as a person they make decisions.

Unless we’ll find out that Top literally put a bag on their head and dragged them away into his basement, Top didn’t stole anyone. This person cheated on you. It sucks, I get it (Mew probably gets it even better than me). It hurts a lot. It’s absolutely not Sand’s fault. But it’s not Top’s fault either.

Yes, hitting on someone’s lover is a douche move (if Top knew about Sand and didn’t care and I wouldn’t surprised but we don’t know for sure). Yes, Top is an arrogant jerk who behaves like a toxic bitch with anyone except for Mew. Yes, in that hospital scene I kind of wanted to punch him in his hot smug face.

But Sand’s lover cheating is not his responsibility.

And Sand’s choice of actions is stealing and spreading fucking revenge porn. Where is not only Top he hates so much but also Boston who did to Sand what? Made an ugly scene on his birthday and ruined his whatever it was with Ray? Bitchy behavior 100%, but not on, you know, illegally recorded sex tape level.

He regrets it later, but two people he apologized to - rightfully so - are Ray and Nick. Not, you know, Boston for example.

I mean, how the thing Sand did with Top is different from the thing Mew did with Boston? In details - yes. In motivation and general action - the same shit.

And I know that the majority of saving Sand agenda is directed towards his relationship with Ray. I get it. I feel it (I have a very complicated mix of very complex feelings about that one but I digress). But I do feel that Sand isn’t criticized enough for his actions towards Top (and Boston).

Compare it with the amount of criticism towards:

1. Nick recording and using TopBoston footage;

2. Boston recording and using RayMew footage;

3. Mew stealing and using Boston footage;

The only person I doubt here to criticize hard is Ray cause while he got and resend this fucking sex tape and I do think it was wrong I kind of understand his situation. I mean he did receive it passively not actively and I doubt Mew believed him without proof. It still sucks from his side to use it and I don’t forgetting him but he was kind of a tool not a participant so yeah.

All of them are clearly wrong and deserve discussion about their behavior and all the critique they get. But so as Sand. The thing is, Sand is not a victim of Top.

Top is a victim of Sand.

And it’s absolutely not about Top being good or bad or Sand being good or bad it’s really about humans being complex and depending on that specific situation. It’s always about complexity and context.

Sand is, if generalizing, a good person. But he also selfish by some degree and categorical and has some deep trauma over his ex lover. And he does fucked up stuff.

That’s why I found Sand’s attitude towards Mew especially interesting. With MewTop situation he probably didn’t really care but at some level had a sense of justice. In his eyes, Mew is as victim of Top as he was. So Mew deserves to know the truth.

But with MewRay? And that’s where the fun (and also clear speculations) begins. Sand doesn’t have a beef towards Mew about Ray loving him and prioritizing him over Sand, at least for now. Maybe because he learned something through his last relationship, but with his behavior towards Top I doubt it. It’s probably partially because Ray is technically not his lover or boyfriend or monogamous partner - he doesn’t owe Sand anything and while he’s angry and sad he understands that.

But it may also be about the Mew technically being there first. You know, how Sand was with his lover until Top appeared. Ray loved Mew way before he even knew Sand exists. It’s actually Sand in this analogy who takes Ray away from Mew (not that he knew about it or Mew cared but you get my point). So Sand doesn’t blame Mew for being with Ray. He probably - understandably so - blames Ray for playing with his feelings and also blames himself for falling into it.

And now here is a part when I just speculate about cool plot line we’d probably never get so feel free to stop reading now. Like for real. So Sand is fine with Mew and, honestly, good for him. My question is: if Sand will buy this RayMew relationship thing. And then Ray gets back to him. Will he resist temptation?

We have a small chance that Sand will get some self respect and won’t take Ray back immediately, of course. But in a case of Mew. If Sand is stupid enough to believe there is something happening between Ray and Mew from Mew’s side, will he stay away cause of respect towards Mew and their relationship? Or will he “play Top card” and - how was it? - steal Ray to himself?

Cause oh my lord he wants Ray for himself. He can agree with Nick and his “I don’t want be his first and only it’s enough to be with him” as much as he wants but we all know that even Nick doesn’t really think so. Sand probably also doesn’t want to deal with Ray at all by that point but totally opposite desires can coexist.

It would be really interesting to watch his internal conflict about being better person but still losing to his desire plays out but I really doubt Mew and Ray will last long enough to us see it.

[vee-crytraps]

Hiiiii

I hope you're doing good, not good criticism aside.

Now, this chapter 🧑‍🍳💋 as always

There's so much to unpack good god.

The fact that Bruce forced everyone on an outing bc missy I ignore and isolate my daughter and then get mad when she goes looking for a more receptive father figure? It's so dad of him lol. Like, you're the one basically forcing your daughter to go look for love demonstrations that actually make her feel loved and not controlled, attention, understanding and quality time and then have the audacity to be mad, plan a shitty trip and then disappear. Honey, thanks for trying but you gave us absolutely nothing.

Dick mentioning how it was him and Bruce the ones to take Robin away from her says a lot about his character. I swear to god am equal parts attracted to your Richard as much as I am holding a personal Vendetta. Girl, get out of the stage please (and he's reenacting Mia's Goth "Please I'm a star!" Scream while we kick him out).

I don't feel good about being proved right like Barbara, good god, I feel so fucking bad 😭😭😭😭.

Jay bird baby, why are you out here proving me right? I don't wanna be. I need the fanon uwu coquette version of him to heal my heart. When he was I'm going back without any regard for batsis? Girl, I needed to take a deep breath and hold onto my heart pieces. Jay, Jason, my love, no. Immediately no. That was literally your only line.

Damian, and I AM biased, love you. He's so intense lmao, same boy, same. But when Nadia came? I put down my phone and punched a pillow. I could never. I'd probably die hahahahhaah

Can't hate her, she's giving enabling bad influence young aunt and I love it. Dick, you're stepping up to your nickname hun.

Also, the scene by the lake? Sorry, I literally want to slobber him up and hydrate his beautiful caramel skin with my saliva and tears cause he's so hot and then kick him in the balls and assure he doesn't have any offspring that could potentially come out as dumbassy as him. But him getting to know about Damian? Hihihihihihi I was rubbing my hands together.

This is just where my imagination went, batsis with Damian and Jon (sorry, I just love them together, they make a great pair and balance each other out). Dick's face would be so fucking funny.

Also, not him being "you shouldn't continue that". Shut up. The fact that you hurt her doesn't give you the right to assume Damian would. At least not the same way as you. And we all know he has already begun to ruin her opportunities at getting to know decent people (as Nikolai is described as) so don't act like you actually have her best interests in mind. You are so hypocritical Richard Grayson agh.

Also, Jon as always being THE knight in shining armour that he is coming to save the day. Dear heavens, can he be anymore sweethearty? Impeccable job, as always Jonathan Kent, immaculate. Clark, we salute you. Thank you for healing us and giving us a speck of hope in man kind (by this I mean actually men, not humans).

I may be a bit disillusioned with the girls. Come on sugar, please include your little sister innnnnnn. Barbara, stop being my representation in the story, I can't stand it. I just don't want to be right about the boys 😩

But it hurts so good!1!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1!

Anyways, thanks for such an amazing chapter.

Ignore people who don't appreciate it. I hope you have a wonderful day/night!

Xoxo - 🫀

Ah, you have no idea how happy it makes me that you slid in here before I shut off my anons!!!

This is totally a shitty dad trip, this is for real a thing my dad used to do when I was a kid lmao. Dick is the mooooost complicated one of them all simply because batsis is like a piece of his childhood. I mean he was in his teens when she was adopted, but she was around long enough to know him from top to bottom. Much like Bruce he's got this caged bird attachment to her haha He does think he's doing good for her by steering her away from Damian and others, but it's the kind of 'I'm sure i'm right' that just so happens to align with the fact that he wants to wait until he's good enough for her. Jon is a very very lovely guy! Clark raised a good boy, but I hope everyone remembers that they're also superheroes! And aliens, who canonically don't experience or understand the entire range of human emotions. The venn diagram is only almost a circle. The truth is, most of these boys have been shot, stabbed, torn apart, mind controlled, broken every bone both indidivually and together, murdered and brought back to life in a goo that makes you crazy, broken then put back together both correctly and incorrectly emotionally and mentally; wooooof they are not okay. But they want to be! For her! They just have to learn a hard lesson first! Bruce has set the example that your civillian life is where you cut corners and make sacrifices- which does not bode well for batsis, who is attracted to people who were raised by him haha. Not to mention, her entire existence is her civillian life. Bad luck fr! Things will get better! Remember this leads into KMM where everything is sexy and happy! Thanks as always for dropping in. As you can guess it was pretty discouraging knowing I put like 90,000 words into creating this universe as a whole and then having someone tear it down with a few hundred. I very much needed this <3333

[stanlunter]

hi i'm the anon who asked you a couple things the other day (you may be able to figure out who i am after reading and that's okay). i guess i just didn't see the posts you were referring to in both cases despite spending a while scrolling through your blog and just reading.

for some clarification about the wlw question, i didn't care about canon or fanon, i was just curious about how your opinions work since i personally do like many of the ships you don't, as well as some we mutually share, and i'm the type of person who wants to learn about differing viewpoints to understand them better despite that.

i'm also wondering how you like scorptra if you're a catradora anti since catra has been verbally abusive to scorpia at the very least, though i'm aware that's arguably better than her treatment of adora but still not healthy until the very end of the last episode.

i hope it's understood that my intention was not to challenge you as a gotcha but simply just to know you a bit better. i may have stopped feeling comfortable being mutuals with you (or just following? i don't remember tbh) for various reasons related to fandom but i still respect you as a person and your opinions so sometimes i come back.

also big W on harlivy and korrasami btw, i love our bi4bi queens

lastly i agree with you 100% on the lunter tiktok video, i love voidpitws' edits very much so i still follow on instagram but i don't support the superiority complex all the canon sibling truthers have when they're wrong 🤷

Hi!

Yeah, that's fine, I understand that a lot of people can have different opinions with me, since a lot of mine are controversional, even if you agree with some

I would love to answer your question about Scorptra and Catradora tho

First of all, catradora being abusive isn't even the only reason why I hate this ship. I talked about it before so I don't wanna fully describe everything again, I will just call them: it ruined s5 and both of Adora and Catra's arcs and that's basically a canon incest, since they werent even just portrayed as adoptive sisters, but even the whole crew, including Nate, have admitted it multipe times. You can try to find some posts about it in anti tags, there is actually a lot of information, if you're actually interested

Now, about abusiveness and Scorptra. Tbh, I really don't understand how can people even compare these two, when these ships are so different, but anyways. I will talk about Scorptra s1-3 and s4 separately, since the whole portal arc has changed so many things

Let's see. Why I consider Catradora as an extremely abusive relationship?

Let's compare Catradora to s1-3 Scorptra

Catra hates Adora and tried to make her suffer as much as possible. Every time she saw Adora, she did everything to hurt her either physically, or mentally, by making her self-hatred stronger than it ever was and used every opportunity to do this. And no, It never was "bc they were at the war". Catra did it bc she just personally hated Adora and wanted to make her feel pain, no one made Catra do this, it was always her personal desire. And even when they were kids, she was the same. And the reason why It's rather "abuser x victim", than "enemies" is bc Adora never treated Catra the same. If in case with Glimmer, It's at least mutual, than with Adora it never was. Catra was always the one who tried to find a fight with Adora. Adora never tried to hurt Catra and never tried to offend her. All she was doing was self-defense. And claiming self-defense as smth even near to abuse, is just horribly and a victim-blaming. Also you can see, every time Adora "hurt" Catra (even tho it was never Adora's fault and was always on Catra's victim complex) she immidiatly tried to apologize and to fix it, just bc she cared about Catra's feelings, even tho it was never her fault and responsibility

What about Scorptra? Well, Catra just never tried to make Scorpia hate herself and feel awful and didn't tried to physically hurt her. We can say Catra did say smth offensive to Scorpia, but it was never bc she wanted to hurt her, but rather bc Catra didn't care about Scorpia yet and Scorpia's love to Catra was confusing to Catra, she didn't even understand that Scorpia loves her, for her Scorpia was just weird and kinda annoying, especially bc for Catra It had to take a lot of time to love someone, so after s2 (White out episode) when she realized that Scorpia actually cares about her and isn't just being annoying, she accepts Scorpia and starts caring about her back. And after that episode she stops thinking about Scorpia as about just someone weird and starts thinking about her as a friend who cares about her like Adora did once

So, after that Catra starts developing her trust and careness to Scorpia. She desides to be honest with Scorpia and lets her in, by letting Scorpia help her. And then, when she realized that Scorpia isn't even "just" care about her, but also is ready to sacrafice everything she had to save Catra, Catra does the same to Scorpia and puts Scorpia's life before her own. And that's her most selfless action, which, Imo is much more selfless than Catra ever was in s1 or s5 with Adora. Bc, if Catra never thought Adora actually cares about her and thought Adora cares about SW and her role much more, with Scorpia it was the first time she saw someone who cares about her more, than about anything else. And when she realizes it, she desides to do the same for Scorpia, bc she values it so much.

And then they spend the happiest day in their life in a Crimson waste, being mutually respectful to each other and mutually loving being around each other

So I genuinely don't understand how can people say Scorpia was abusive there just bc it was a slow-burn for Catra, bc she has the clearest attachment-issues and couldn't believe someone can actually love her due to her life experience. But I think that's what makes their relationship with Scorpia only more important, bc Scorpia managed to "deserve" Catra's trust, love, respect and careness, even tho Catra was actually such a selfish person who is afraid of being used and left and didn't believe anyone can actually care about her. Scorpia was the first person who has shown Catra that she doesn't have to deserve love to be loved (like it was with SW) . And that she's not alone and that there are people who care about her and are not gonna leave her. For who Catra isn't just an "another friend" to use and leave, who doesn't worth staying for (like from her perspective she was for Adora. Which, again, I obviously don't blame Adora for, she didn't have to care only about Catra, It's just what Catra thought about Adora). Even if we compare Adora and Scorpia's leaving:

Adora left the Horde despite Catra, Scorpia left the Horde because of Catra

Adora showed Catra that she doesn't worth staying in the Horde. And Scorpia showed Catra that the only thing that could make her leave the Horde is Catra

Also, every time Adora tried to help Catra or just did something well, Catra was jealous and envy, bc she saw Adora as a competitor, which isn't healthy, especially considering the fact that Adora never saw Catra the same way. And when Scorpia helps Catra and does her job well, Catra sees, respects and thanks her. That's why her in s4 saying Scorpia she's useless was a straight up lie

Here we go to another thing: Catra always saw Adora as her enemy or a rival, not just as a friend. Which created a super unhealthy dynamic between them. Catra was always the envy friend to Adora, who can't be happy for her and always finds a way do downplay her achievements like we've seen in ep1. Catra was not only envy of Adora's achievements and respect, but also of Shadow Weaver's love. Which was a sibling jealous of a mother or a mother figure, their whole "Golden child" and "Scapegoat child" dynamic with an abusive mother figure

And so Catra's envyness lead to hateness and the hateness lead to unhealthy obsessesion Catra had

She made her whole life and whole goal to make Adora "lose", bc she couldn't handle Adora winning her. She was ready to destroy the whole world just bc of it which isn't healthy in any way. And if you're gonna call Scorpia "obsessed" with Catra, remember that Scorpia was the one who was against activating the portal bc of the risks and tried to make Catra change her mind even despite loving her, while Catra still did it bc of her obsessesion with Adora. Catra was litterally addicted and I do not think giving an addict their addition in the end as a praise is healthy. Catra should have been learnt to let her obsessesion go, to get a life, to find other reasons and goals to live, besides hunting Adora. It could be anything. But giving her just what she was so obsessed with is the worst idea Nate could possible choose

And what about Adora?

Even tho Catra was her best friend, Adora never cared about her as much in the first place. Basically, unlike Catra, Adora always had her own life that wasn't only about her love interest. If the only thing Catra had in the Horde was Adora, Adora did have a lot of things besides Catra: she had Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio, she had SW's admiration, she had the Horde's respect and she had her own goals. Catra was in her life too, but she was never the first for Adora. Which is absolutely okay. What is not okay is Catra's life, since she decided to dadicate it to Adora and when Adora left, she became lonely. I can't blame her for that, but Catra's life is Catra's responsility and making it only about one person is just stupid and never ends well. So, that's true that Adora never wanted Catra as much as Catra wanted her. Tbh, Adora never even recalled Catra in a good way after s1, so, as someone who was never a catradora shipper, before s5 I had no idea and no thoughts that Adora actually cares about Catra, not even to mention that she "loves" her and this ship never made sense to me bc it. It was always so one-sided. And the way Catradora shippers are trying to call Scorptra one-sided, makes me think they just skipped the whole s3.

So , for Adora Catra was always just an ex friend who for some reason (since Adora didn't understand it) decided to hate and fight her, just bc for some reason she didn't want to go with her. Catra's behavior never made sense to Adora and that's also strange to me that they didn't want to mention it in s5.

And the worst thing is not even that for Adora Catra was always just an "ex friend", but that she also was a cruel enemy, who made Adora go throught so much trauma, made her hate herself and think that she should die and that her life has no worth, that she only makes things worse and doesn't deserve anything good, while in reality Adora is the most selfless and kind person out of the whole show. Catra tortured Adora, killed a mother of her best friend, terrorized the planed and took away homes and lives of so many innocent people. Adora didn't just despise Catra, but she hated her for everything she has done and s5 has completely erased that fact. And it wasn't the "love-hate" type of hate, It's a hateness people have to terrorists, murderouses and war criminals that take away people's lives and make the life horrible. And that's ridicilous how so many fans really think that's just bc it wasn't directly shown in a kid show means It's not true, while It's very much is and was so heavily implied. Like they think a "war" is when two lesbians are arguing, not when people are losing their homes and families and die. And Adora, as someone who can't stand cruelty and injustice, has litterally left the Horde to protect those people. Making Adora suddenly "love" someone who has done all these things makes no sense and was so stupid and horrible.

Especially considering the fact that her whole arc in s3 was about learning that she's not responsible for Catra's actions, that Catra decided to live like this herself and that Adora doesn't have to baby sit Catra and what SW did to Catra wasn't on Adora either and that she didn't have to be responsible for it. Adora did a right chose to leave an abusive environment and she actually did ask Catra to go with her many times. Yet what do we see in s5? Catra is a victim of everyone. Catra opening the portal and abusing every is now SW's responsibility and not Catra's one, Adora is also blamed for leaving Catra and not for chosing to love some days with Catra over saving the whole world and Adora has to baby sit Catra every fucking minute

It has completely destroyed everything that had been building for 4 seasons and that's terrible not only just for Adora, or even Catra, but for the whole ending and finale season.

So now about Scorptra in s4

While I do agree that their relationship obviously wasn't healthy there and Catra treated Scorpia and everyone around really bad, I don't think their relationship can be called abusive bc of that like catradora during their whole relationship.

First of all, when we talk about characters relationship, we should consider all of their relationship during the whole show in general, not just take out of the context one arc and run with it. If catradora was toxic and abusive on every single stage (when they were kids in the Horde, when they were enemies and when they became friends - couple), Scorptra, like I've already described it, wasn't. They mutually cared about each other and Catra didn't treat Scorpia horribly. S1-s3 was the default of their relationship and s4 wasn't what Scorpia and Catra's relationship is normally, it was what they turned into due to the stress and the whole shit that has happened in the finale of s3. Which doesn't justify Catra ofc, but it does show that Catra actually cares about Scorpia and what was in s4 was rather an exception, than what their relationship actually is. During it, Catra hated herself for what she did, she became like a "full" villain, she was angry on herself and on everyone else and focused on her goal to destroy the rebelion and started ignoring everything else that was and still is important to her, like Scorpia. So, after such a huge action, that has changed the war so much, that Catra had more things to care about than ever. What Im saying is that Catra's anger in s4 wasn't aimed at Scorpia. Scorpia just happened to be a scapegoat of Catra's stress and guilt. While with Adora, Catra did aim her anger exactly at her. And in this case the whole "they were at war" excuse fits much better, since Catra's anger at Scorpia was caused by the stress at the war and the portal, while dor Adora it was just a pure haterd. So, does it make it okay? Absolutely not, it still was unhealthy. But does it change everything and make Catra's relationship with Scorpia and Adora incomparable? Absolutely yes.

And what confirmes this fact is Catra's reaction there:

First of all, Catra didn't realize how much her words hurt Scorpia. Like I said before, Catra didn't mean to hurt her in the first place, she just wanted to be left alone and to put her anger on someone. And when Scorpia says Catra is a bad friend, she immidiatly realizes it and feels bad about hurting Scorpia, feels guilt. Something she never felt while hurting Adora. When she was hurting Adora, she was enjoying it and didn't think there was her fault, she put it on Adora. However with Scorpia, just when Catra realizes she hurt Scorpia, she immidiatly gets that It was her fault and that Scorpia didn't deserve it. And as we see later, Catra immidiatly stopped acting like this towards Scorpia and started treating her better (for example, sharing her thoughts and feelings with her, as a friend), the only problem is that it was too late.

When Hordak asked Catra where was Entrapta's recording, Catra lied to him, saying she didn't find it, bc she knew if Hordak found out Scorpia has damaged it, she would get in troubles.

So she takes Hordak's aggression on herself, instead of letting him hurt Scorpia. Just like she did in the prison scene, when she didn't let Scorpia help her get out bc Scorpia would have troubles bc of that. This shows us how much Catra actually cares about Scorpia, even when she is in the wrong and acts toxic.

And the saddest thing is that they actually could be together, happy and in healthy relationship, if only the creators decided to let Catra let go her obsessesion with Adora, for example, in the Crimson waste. I really love the idea of them staying there in s3, instead of returning to the Horde. It seems like it would be much better for everyone. Or at least, if s5 was written better and Catra actually had at least some screen time with Scorpia, they also could leave others and return to the Crimson waste as they wanted to.

So, It's not like I look at Catra yelling at Scorpia in s4 and think "ohh, that's so cute, they should kiss now", It's that their whole relationship was beautiful, complex and dramatic. Bc Catra could be happy with Scorpia, but her obsessesion was stronger and it ruined everything. I'll dare to call it "doomed yuri", bc of how tragic Catra's issues made it

Well, I think that's all, hope I did answer your questions

[the-dyke-of-handsomeness]

I am going to watch all of the hunger games

Before the first movie:

I kinda know the plot but not really, girl gets chosen to fight weird tradition thing by a pink drag queen, older sister is like “fuck no” and some other shit happens.

My expectations for the rating: 7/10, really good but only the first movie so not amazing.

During first movie:

Why is this weird posh British (I think) person in pink drag?? Beauty full drag tho

It's not drag??

I didn't know Josh Hutcherson was in it T-T

Why is the solution to war to send a bunch of teenagers to fight to the death?? Instead of just resolving the issue like adults and talking.

The apartment Katniss is staying in is ugly as fuck.

Haymitch is kinda hot.

KATNISS DONT MESS WITH THE FUCKING BEES

Josh Hutcherson is also a bad actor..

I love Rue so much I just want to adopt her

NO RUE WTF

Why would they add two victors?? That's just dumb as fuck, it ruins the whole point of the games.

After the first movie:

I hated this. (/pos)

I Loved it but hated it cuz of Rue.

8/10 Better then I expected for a first movie.

Before catching fire:

I have no idea at all what this one is about sooo

During catching fire:

ooooo Kathrine? Kathleen? KATNISS (I forgot her name) has PTSD

Who tf is named *snow*???

NO MAGS

MAGS IS GONNA DIE AINT SHE

SHE DIDDDDD

Johanna X Katniss 4 life

After catching fire:

AMAZING DKDNDKD

THE GOVERNMENT CORRUPTION AND THE UPRISING AND JUST ARGHHH (/pos)

9/10, 1 point off because I really liked Mags and also cliffhanger

before Mockingjay part 1:

I have no idea what will happen other then a continuation of the last movie

during mockingjay part 1:

JOSH IS DEAD HAHA

NO WRONG DUDEEE

ITS THE SONGGGG GUYSSSS

after mockingjay part 1:

Pretty good, I didn’t peticularly like it though. It was kinda bland.

7/10 still pretty good but nothing really happened

Before Mockingjay part 2:

I really hope this one is better then the last but yk

during mockingjay part 2:

KATNISS IS DEAD??

NEVERMINDSD

KATNISS IS DEAD??? (Again)

NEVERMINDSD (Again)

team Finnick for life, screw Peeta and Gale

FINNICK DIED

NOOO PRIMMM

WHAT THE FUCK PRIMROSEEEE

THEY CANT KEEP DOING THIS TOO MEEEE

After mockingjay part 2:

Amazing movie oml much better than part 1

PRIMMMM

8/10, it was hard to follow and keep focus on but it was a really good film, 1 point taken off for Prim dying, that was just unnessecary.

overall:

8/10, amazing franchise but mockingjay part one really dragged down its rating.

great movies, very hard to stay focused on. I had to be doing something else while watching or else I would lose interest.

before snakebirds and songs:

I think it’ll be good

I know it’s a prequel

During snakebirds and songs:

WHO is this Wish.com Draco malfoy??

Holy shit Lucy grey…

HOLY SHIT LUCY GREY!!

Holy shit Lucy grey’s voice..

HOLY SHIT LUCY GREY’S GUITAR

Turns out I have a thing for southern accents.

after the ballad of songbirds and snakes:

OH MY GOD

I just, it’s amazing.

the powerful message underlying in it, everything about it.

I started tearing up in the theatre and I am going to sob into my pillow once I am done writing this. (/pos)

The fact that, that is happening in real life right now. The villain of a fiction story is happening right now in front of us. Just hurts so much.

And that there will be people who watched that movie and walked out of it all happy, as if nothing like that is happening in our world.

this movie made me better, and the direction was amazing.

ranking:

10/10, I don’t think I’ve ever given a movie a solid 10/10 before but this movie deserves it.

will/would I read the books?

probably, I think the movies were great and if the movies were a good representation of the books then I believe the books will be really good

[arc-misadventures]

Maybe I missed something but doesn't JNPR overreact to the Arc family. Compared to team rwby who were basically insulting Jaune the Arc ladies just seemed happy to have another sister/member?

Also how Jeanne react to the Arc family?

True, but to Jaune, and the rest of his team it feels like they are forgetting about him, and that they are replacing him for her.

Sure they didn’t let them explain why they said those things. But, the few words they spoke did all the damage it needed to do.

As for the second part…

The Repercussions of Your Actions

(SMASH!)

Acheius: Oww…

Jeanne: Why?! Why did you just punch him in the face!

Acheius: Some random guy came out of your room, and said, “Hi, dad! Why are you freaking out, its me your son?” How else did you expect me to react?!

Jeanne: Not by punching him through the wall! TWICE!

Acheius: Look I understand that I messed up, you know I’m just worried about my precious baby girl.

Jeanne: I am not your, ‘precious baby girl’ anymore! I am a, Huntress! I am can stand up for myself! And, I am sick, and tired of everyone beating up, Jaune just for showing up!

Acheius: It was an accident…?

Juniper: Honey, you punched him through a wall, twice. Landed on him, and continued to wail on him even after his aura broke. On top of that, your fight tore up my lawn, and ruined my tulips. Do you honestly think you are in a good place to argue against her, or me for that matter that it was… ‘Just an accident?!’

Acheius: Uhhh… W-Why am in trouble for messing up the lawn! Nora punted me over the house, and I tore up you rose bushes on landing!

Juniper: My precious little girl was defending her friend from you! And, unlike you, she offered to help me me fix it for some wonderful mother bounding time~!

Jeanne: Uhh… Since when was, Nora my sister?

Juniper: Five minutes after I found out she was an orphan!

Jeanne: Okay…? Are you okay with this, Nora?

Nora: I’m loving it, oneesan~!

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: This is the greatest day of my life…

Juniper: Also, I’ve adopted, Rin as well.

Jeanne: R-Rin?!

Rin: I… I’m also happy with this as well, onee… san…

Jeanne: Grk?! Oh gods… This is too much to bare!

Acheius: I have two new daughters?! Oh this is a wonderful day! I would have preferred to have been informed about this before you adopted me, but I’m happy nonetheless! Come on girls, how about a hug for your new father!

Nora: No!

Rin: I’ll have to pass.

Acheius: Eh?

Nora: We like, Jaune! And, we’re tired of everyone beating him up!

Rin: We understand why you attacked him, but couldn’t you have shown more restraint before you decided to attack him?

Juniper: So, as punishment for hurting, Jaune, you get no father-daughter bonding until you’ve learned your lesson!

Acheius: Juniper, I’m…?!

Juniper: And, don’t bother apologizing until after you fix my tulip garden! Come along now girls, lets go have some mother daughter bounding~!

Nora: Oh, oh! Can I see, Jeanne’s baby photos!

Rin: Oh, I would love to see those!

Jeanne: W-What?! No you don’t need to see those!

Acheius: …

Acheius: Haa… I did screw up this one…

Theo: Yeah, you just snapped, and beat the hell out of that guy. You’re usually more level headed than that dad.

Philip: Yeah, honestly I was looking forward to meeting this guy, Jeanne made him sound like an interesting person.

Alex: Meh, I can understand why dad punched him, we’d probably do the same thing if he had hurt our precious sister. But, I doubt any of us would have gone that far.

Acheius: Haa… I did screw up… I going to be thinking about how badly I screwed up while I fix all of this… Well, best get to it; Would one of you mind fetching some of the gardening tools for me?

Richard: Yeah, no. Go, get them yourself.

Acheius: Eh? Why?!

Galahad: Because you’re just gonna rope us in into helping you. Besides we have more important things to do.

Acheius: Oh yeah, what better things?

Theo: Like fixing the holes in the walls you put through my room!

Acheius: Ahck?!

Richard: We best start on repairing the new ‘window.’

Alex: Agreed, it may take longer to fix, but I rather not deal with the cold breeze it will flood the house with.

Philip: Or, how mad mom will be when the house starts to get cold.

Arc Brothers: AHHAHAHAhahaha!

Acheius: …

Acheius: Haa… I may have screwed up big this time, but at least they’re all happy, well at least most of them. Well, best get to work then.

///

I was just going to answer the first part. Then this came out. Do enjoy~!

[messinwitheddie]

(Trigger warning: mentions child abuse, drug abuse, homelessness and unemployment.)

Nny "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you say anything?"

Squee "Because why should I have to explain common courtesy to a grown man?!!"

Nny "No, I meant about your dad?"

Squee "You knew how punchy he's been since mo. Oded! You KNEW!!"

Nny "I'll cutt off his hands. Problem solved."

Squee "NO!! If you injure him he'll just be home all the time! I don't want you to hurt him or kill him! He's my dad! As long as I make it seem like I don't exist when he's around he leaves me alone so just STOP screwing that up for me, OK?!!"

Nny "But... Squee, you shouldn't have to--"

Squee "Where do you get the time and energy to do all these horrible things to so many people!?!"

Nny "I-"

Squee "You must sleep great during the day!"

Nny "No... I don't sleep during the day either."

Squee "So you have that much time on your hands! Get a life!! Get a JOB!!"

Nny "I'm sick of you and Pep throwing that in my face! It's NOT that easy! I have NO ID and NO legit work history and NO legally registered address!! Who is going to hire me?!!"

Squee "Okay, that's fair!"

Nny "It's a vicious cycle!"

Squee "Then take a night class or something! I would tell you to adopt a pet or get a girlfriend but you would just-- hurt them! You're NEVER really happy unless you're making someone else suffer! It's pathetic!"

Nny "That's not true."

Squee "YES IT IS!!!"

Nny "Why are you attacking me?"

Squee "BECAUSE I'M FRUSTRATED!!!"

Squee "You like to watch me suffer! Makes sense! Everyone else does!!"

Nny "You're the one person I know I NEVER want to see suffer."

Squee "Did you convert your living room closet into an iron maiden? Is that why the screams are even louder tonight?!"

Nny "Um...yer...no...?"

Squee "There's blood pooling from under the door, Nny!! I can see it!!"

Nny "I was installing a shelf and the project got away from me."

Squee "Just be a man and admit I'm right!"

Nny "Squee, you need to calm down and go back to bed. I can't handle this."

-door slams shut-

Squee -kicking the door- "NICE TALK, MOM!! Get help you sick bastard! Don't just screw with the doctors! WORK ON YOURSELF!!"

*series of thuds*

*incoherent mumbling*

*boots clopping*

Nny "Leave me alone!!"

Squee Leave ME alone!!"

Nny "I wasn't talking to you!!"

Part 2 of Z? Night 7

Thank you if you enjoyed and or reblogged these very self indulgent break room sketches. Hopefully this last bit didn't ruin it for everyone.

[mr-nauseam]

HI, so, I really wanted to learn more about the au you're writing, but one thing that have been keeping on my mind was: what do you think that'll happen in long term? in the sense of the second rebellion and the 74th games and stuff, do you think it'll still happen?

I wanted to answer this question today and it's at night, so there might be a bit of rambling in my answer but let's get started!

First thanks for the question!!! Also I've decided to call this Au: Suffocation Au so I can distinguish it from my other wips even if I don't talk about many of them, haha.

I have to admit that I don't have such long term plans, I usually enjoy open endings and not getting so involved with the events in THG but I do have some ideas of the future after the events that take place in Suffocation (one shot) and I will leave my hypothesis concerning the second rebellion and the 74th games at the end!

The Cardew family enters into crisis. On the one hand, they have no other biological heir, so they will have to give one day the power of the bank to another family, which will cause a lot of tension between the elite families and well, vultures.

The Cardew also demand a meticulous investigation, Livia's mother suspects at one point Coriolanus and there is a potential scandal when that happens Casca (who did not die because in this Au, Coriolanus returns to the capitol in another way) tries to support this hypothesis publicly, this rumor is silenced by the fortune of the Plinth (Sejanus specifically does and this is what makes Coriolanus finally murder Highbottom).

The wedding gift that Coriolanus gives to Sejanus is to murder Dr. Gaul, because in this au specifically Sejanus and Dr. Gaul have a history together of failed apprentice and teacher and a lot of shit happens between them, and Sejanus was very serious when he says that Gaul was in charge of ruining his life (house arrest and he was practicing gamemaker in what Coryo returned and other things).

Some former mentors are more vocal in their opinions against the games (Lysistrata Vickers in specific), and it takes longer for the inhabitants to adopt it as a show, instead of solely a punishment of war because Coryo doesn't immediately return to the capitol when he is sent to D12 and Gaul and Sejanus are not interested in making nice shows, but in fighting 24/7.

Snow not only kills political rivals to be president, he will also kill more people he thinks hurt Sejanus because since he didn't make a big deal about Dr. Gaul he thinks Sejanus approve it somehow, and there are some abandonment issues that Lucy Gray reinforced and he's really as dependent on Sejanus as Sejanus is on him.

The public opinion of the Snow-Plinth wedding is that it was out of pity for Sejanus, who by that point has a reputation for being mentally ill / unstable, this will interfere later with the possibility of an heir (lab baby).

Io Jasper is the head of Gaul's lab when she dies and I believe she could had many arguments with Snow.

About 2nd rebellion: I think the rebellion could have happened earlier, there are details make me believe that it is possible the Capitol is not a united front, able to offer the same comforts and unity among its inhabitants, and Katniss mentions how many people in the capitol from her perspective were there for personal vendettas and we know that if people lose their comfort, they are more willing to want things to change.

What I fear is that an earlier 2nd rebellion (maybe Haymitch games?), could be more problematic in many ways, and end in a very long war (lets remember the dont had the neccesary resources was a big thing in revolution dont be allowed to happen), the D13 would do its thing and I suppose that would affect in many ways. Your question definitely made me began to think about what it would be like!

I promise that if I structure this in a better text later I will share it, I hope I have still answered some questions you had? Thank you again for being interested in my au, I'm open to more questions if anybody want!

[umihoshi]

Autumn anime 2023 is so STACKED, it's illigal!

Aside from the obviously amazing continuing shows, there's TOO MANY great new ones.

Based on first episodes, here's my top ranking (may be subject to change cuz Apothecary Diaries isn't out yet. And excluding SpyxFamily, dr. Stone and Tokyo Revengers which are all *chef's kiss*)

1. Kamonohashi Ron: Deranged Detective

you had me at Detective. and then you had me at Deranged. Also, I'm a big fan of Amano Akira's other works, Reborn and eldLIVE (Psycho-Pass not so much, but she only did the character art) Depressed adult who is too curious for his own good, what's not to love?

2. Undead Unluck

I saw the manga before and had been really anticipating the anime. They're such a fun duo and their personalities and abilities compliment one another really well. looks like there'll be a lot of cool unusual superpowers. Reminds me a lot of Blood Lad, just hoping this anime won't end with virtually nothing solved T~T;

3. Kingdom of Ruin

Bit on the over the top side with the amount of tragedy, but the worldbuilding seems very interesting. I'm a slut for witch hunting too. May end up severely traumatized if I continue, but we'll see how it goes.

4. My New Boss Is Goofy

My soul is healed, my crops are growing. Grown men doing stilly stuff is comfort food for the eyes. Looks a bit yaoi baiting, but can't complain if it's cute. Reminds me of Cool Douji Danshi.

5. Migi & Dali

I don't even know what's going on at this point, it's so surreal. Elder couple wants to adopt one child and genius twins thought 'we can work with that'. The silly love children of Johan Liebert and Sakamoto desu ga. (same author as Sakamoto too. it sure shows.)

6. Crash course on Naughtiness

Last season, I was confronted with the pet-peeve of feeble waifu syndrome (I finished My Happy Marriage, but I'm sorry, I could not stand that girl...) And this season around, I realized the formula that breaks the curse of feeble waifus: a batshit crazy counterpart. This man is just bullying her with kindness. plus points for another excelent job done by Sugita Tomokazu.

7. Frieren

As a big fan of DnD, I can't say no to such a DnD-based series. Plus the pressure of having to live such a long live as elves do is very interesting. It's a bit slow to my liking, but the characters are amusing and layered.

8. Yuzuki family's 4 sons

a young man who has to take care of his 3 little brothers after his parents died, give me some napkins Q-Q not a single person looks or acts their age (the youngest has better vocabulary than I do;;) but it's all fun and sweet and trying to find your way in an unusual family-hirarchy

9. I'm in love with the villainess

My eyes hurt from looking at this. But the over the top artstyle works quite well with how silly the story is. I too would like to say 'step on me, mommy' to my favorite villain. Just hope it won't become repetitive in its jokes.

10. Tearmoon Empire

Wow, will you look at that. Another reincarnated villainess. Luckily, this one has no memories of living in a different world or something. Just her future self's diary. Enjoying the concept where she's not suddenly a saintly good girl for a change.

11. Oujo to Banken

This dude is on THIN fucking ice. I commonly enjoy age gaps very much. but in no way what so ever, would I support a relationship between a teenager and the 10 year older guy who basically raised her. Him being her parent figure is where I draw the line. That said, I'm eating up the amount of over-protectiveness and yakuza-logics. It has the amount of spice I had hoped to find in Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting that wasn't there.

12. Ragna Crimson

I'm sorry. just...... you can't make me believe that the ditsy loli-girl is the best dragon killer in the world. stop. The maincharacter is quite interesting, though. I like how it's like... his actual own power that he has for his OP special snowflake thing. Borrowing tomorrow's energy for today.....that's the description of a burn out I read the other day;;; But you do you, boy. good luck dying very early in life.

[tadpolejourney]

Day 22

I was way too upset last night. I wrote so angrily I actually broke my quill and ripped through the paper at the end of my last entry, stabbing myself in the leg with it in the process. I threw the quill into the fire and went to bed early. I didn’t notice I had left my leg to bleed all night until this morning.

Before I started to write last night, I spoke with Gale and everyone else at camp. Literally no one but Gale supported Mystra's plan, naturally. Lae'zel had a particularly interesting insight as a follower of Vlaakith. She thinks Mystra is doing this for selfish reasons. The Absolute must be a threat to her dominion. And she has no faith in Gale whatsoever, which is why she is demanding he die while still demanding his faith. Again I say, it's absurd.

Yesterday we ventured into the ruins of a Lathander monastery in order to gain access to the githyanki creche.

A small troop of githyanki were outside with a few Absolutists that they'd captured. One cultist tried to run and got shot in the back. Safe to say we found the creche. The dream guardian spoke to me outside the door leading to the creche, and bid me to stay away from the githyanki. I couldn’t turn back then, after promising Lae'zel and making it all the way there. We had to see this through. Besides, it gave me no good reason to stay away other than it said so? Consider yourself ignored, guardian guy. That door was magically locked anyway. At least now I know for sure that thing, whatever it is, is not omnipotent.

In our attempts to find another entrance to the creche, we found a pack of kobold looters drunk on firewine. There were too many of them, so we stayed in the side room and had someone by the door to close it behind anyone who made their way in. Again, my tried and true battle tactic when you're ambushed and/or outnumbered... It should have been an easy fight since our enemies were drunk.

Gale had other ideas. The kobolds had bellies full of firewine, there's firewine on the ground, and firewine barrels everywhere. It's a very flammable space. What does Gale do? He casts fireball in the entryway of the next room where all the kobolds are. Perhaps a great idea in theory or in other circumstances. And sure, he killed a couple, but the blast burned all of us, knocked him backwards, set the room we were in on fire, and I was hurt so badly I fell unconscious. The fire nearly killed me. Astarion tried to pull me up but couldn't get me out of the fire, and I blacked out again. When Gale pulled me up, I was surrounded by kobold corpses and more were making their way into the room from above, but the fire was out.

We finished them off, and Lae'zel seemed really inspired by that battle for some reason. I guess we adapted well and had good teamwork in the end? Or maybe it was me almost dying. I don't know, I probably would have inspired her if I'd died in that fire. Gale asked for my forgiveness immediately, and of course he got it. Mistakes happen, and I'm sure he won't cast a fireball like that anytime soon. I think he's used to being more... precise as a formerly top-notch wizard than he currently is. Maybe he just didn't see that big old barrel of firewine by the door. Oh well, nobody died and we won the fight, that's all that matters.

Then we ran into a huge gremishka nest. Since there wasn't any fire and Gale didn't cast any spells, that one was quick and easy.

Being in the Lathander monastery's ruins reminded me a lot of my dad. He was sent to Baldur's Gate by his monastic order (of Helm) to help protect the city's growing population of lost and hopeless people. I was one of the lost and hopeless people he found and protected. He adopted me and changed my life. Before that I'd been nothing but a victim. A dolly for my biological parents, an easy target for criminals, devils, and monsters. He taught me how to defend myself and how to heal my mind from the horrors I experienced from infancy until we met. He saved me, in all the ways a person can be saved: physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. Monks, of any order, will always have my respect. I don't consider myself to be one, and truly I'm not a monk. I just know how to fight like one and how to think like one.

We explored the entire ground level, upper level, and roof of the monastery ruins. While exploring we learned this place stored the Blood of Lathander. Lae'zel, naturally, was completely disinterested and very frustrated with us backtracking and not going straight for the creche once we determined its location.

I told her dramatically, “I bet Shadowheart would be reeeeal interested in this place,” referring to the monastery ruins. To which Lae'zel replied, “Tchk, fine. But do not tarry for too long. We have waited long enough.”

We grabbed what we needed to find the Blood of Lathander below and headed into the creche. According to Lae'zel it seemed relaxed to the point of undisciplined. I suppose that's one perspective. It was istik this and istik that everywhere we went. Their healer had tons of mindflayer parasites. She studies them. The 'purification protocol', known to githyanki as the zaith'isk, is a crazy looking device. It looks insectoid and yet is definitely mechanical at the same time. I had a bad feeling about it. I insisted upon going first, even though Lae'zel was initially quite upset. She ended up being impressed by me over it because I stood my ground against her. I really only went first because this thing seemed dangerous, it was too late to back out of it, and I thought better me get hurt than her, Astarion, or Gale. I thought surely it couldn’t be worse than some of the shit I’ve been through in my life already.

I was right. It wasn’t worse, but it was pretty fucking bad, and definitely dangerous. That thing tormented me. It didn't cure me, but it sure did change me. I feel more in touch with the illithid tadpole than before. Not a good thing. Not at all. In the attempt to remove my infection the zaith'isk exploded. The healer was horrified and outraged. Lae'zel thought the creche must have a traitor in it because the 'treatment' failed. I was done entertaining the githyanki at that point. Crazy ass zealots, the lot of them. I got us out of there before we had to face any more danger. I decided we'll try our luck again with the Underdark.

We made our way back to the myconid colony today. There we met a mindflayer. It was peaceful, said it had broken free of the elder brain. Its name is Omeluum. It told me about the Grand Design, a plan to eliminate all githyanki and enslave all other humanoids. This is the first time I've ever had a conversation with a mindflayer. It's definitely different from my other experiences with its kind. It is offering to help me understand why my tadpole is different. All I have to do is find some rare and dangerous mushrooms that mess with your mind. Yeah.

I gave an antidote to an Ironhand gnome named Thulla. She wants us to go rescue her kin from duergar slavers across the lake. Looks like I'll get to help the gnomes and the myconid if I take out the duergar. I met with Sovereign Spaw as well. It was turning corpses into mushroom zombies. Normal mushroom guy stuff. Another sovereign, called Glut, came with us to kill the duergar.

On the way we ran into the bulette again, and managed to finish it off this time. Glut turned it into a mushroom zombie. That was the most badass thing I've ever seen in my life. Mushroom zombie bulette. I don't think we'll top that on this journey. Glut helped us kill all the duergar on this side of the lake, but immediately asked us afterwards to kill Spaw so it could take over the circle. We pushed it off a cliff.

Tonight in camp I didn't speak to anyone. I didn't hear much chatter around camp either. I think we're all starting to feel the weight of our situation, more than ever. We have so much more to worry about now than just becoming mindflayers.

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