#but i'm still proud of myself
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heyyyy guys look at the bracelet i made for my friend's birthday!
#kinda crooked as i never did alpha patterns before#but I'm still proud of myself#it took me soooo long to make#hope she'll like it!#friendship bracelets
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You know... they said to "make a path" not necessarily to "draw a consecutive line"... This beautiful, forked path leads through every door only once. You won't be able to follow it without passing at least one door twice, but that wasn't a requirement, now was it?
Haters be like
“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”
#it might not be quantum physics#but I'm still proud of myself#because I'm technically correct#which is the best kind#and linguistics beats mathematics any day
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chapter 12 of my Dracopia series is finished, yay!
and i'm pretty sure 13 will be the last chapter. it feels weird to think that soon i have finished the whole story. but also i'm kind of glad it's gonna be over. 😁
#silverofthunder speaks#it's been fun and all to write the series#but it's been quite hard too to keep everything together you know?#but i'm still proud of myself#i never thought i would get this far#so 🥳
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With the end of season two comes a second redraw!
[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!
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WOOZI on SEVENTEEN winning Artist Of The Year in MAMA 2024
#svtcreations#svtgifs#svtsource#17net#seventeen#svt#forsvt#kpopedit#studiocarat#dailywoozi#woozisource#woozi#lee jihoon#jihoon#y.psd#wz#got too lazy to fix some of the framing and i lich rally forgot how to gif and had to reorient myself for 15 mins lol#so sorry for the dithering <33 and the bad quality in general im v v rusty#but i made 500 gifs <33 do u still think i'm hot#don't know the tags people use anymore too and dk where people find hd files nowadays fdjdjkfjkfd#had to come back to gif this because they're just so special to me!! and i'm so proud of how far they've come#missed u sm too caratblr <3333 hope everyone's well!
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IT'S FINALLY DONE. I don't think I'll draw for a week tbh lol
I put a lot of work into this. Reblog if you want to, it's appreciated if you do.
#rick and morty#rick and morty fanart#rick and morty comic#rick & morty#rick sanchez#rick prime#morty smith#prime haunting theory#my art#I am. so tired#I didn't expect to work on this for so long#Started working on it since around late July#I did the pages in a random order so the art quality might flucture a bit#I think I really challenged myself with this one#Still can't tell if I cooked or burned the kitchen down#I'm proud of it though#If theres anybody reading these tags thats curious about the au#Feel free to send an ask this thing is always rotating in my brain next to my ocs#I'm going to sleep now
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“Zuko?” Ming searched for the Prince in his silence. He was staring intently out of the window, mouth blown wide open, eyes distant and awed and sincere. Oh. His whisper was a fragile, breathless thing.
“We're here.”
Ming’s doubts and concerns are hers alone, but that doesn't mean the rest of the Crew doesn't share them. This sudden mission, Zuko's change in attitude, his obsession with the Water Tribes...
Ming tries to discover the root of it all in For the Spirits Chapter VIII: Make You Stay, but will Zuko let her in?
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#zutara au#for the spirits#new gods au#spirit touched zuko#Chapter VIII: Make You Stay#atla oc#atla fic#atla fanfic#atla zuko#ATLA Ming#zutara#zutara fic#zutara fanfiction#Ming is my baby girl and I love her so deeply you have no idea#I tagged this as atla oc but technically she isn't? Ming was Iroh's guard during his imprisonment in the Fire Nation.#She was kind to him despite his status as traitor; so he told her to take a day off during the Day of the Black Sun so she wouldn't get hurt#I loved her character so much even though she was only there for a scene. So I brought her back and now she's part of Zuko's crew.#Some of her backstory was revealed back in Ch2. Royal Guard Ming helped Zuko and Iroh leave the Palace directly after the Agni Kai.#And then she stayed with them as the first member of Zuko's Crew. She's like a big sister to him and like all big sisters she worries.#And has to fight the urge to smack some sense into him whenever he does something stupid.#Which is understandable. But still. I love their dynamic. They're everything to me.#I also love the background of Ming’s artwork. I mean LOOK AT THAT. It's glorious. The best background I've ever drawn. I'm proud of myself.#*sniff*#Zuko's is...okay I guess. But Ming’s *chef kiss*
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"Stop asking why I'm sad, just know, it's enough to know I'm sad"
I know it's been awhile, but I'm simply couldn't let Madeleine Hyland's birthday pass without a little celebration. So here is a tribute to our benevolent queen, Madeleine, and the heartrending wonder that is Little Miss Why So by The Amazing Devil
[View all my other embroideries inspired by The Amazing Devil here]
#It doesn't feel like my best work but I'm still proud of myself for finishing it#And I tried to experiment a little by adding beads#I really hope to get back into creating these in the new year#tad#the amazing devil#madeleine hyland#joey batey#love run#little miss why so#fiber arts#fiber crafts#embroidery
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🌟🍬🤖🎈Congrats to Wonderlands x Showtime for finishing their 4x4!🌟🍬🤖🎈
#project sekai#prsk#tsukasa tenma#emu otori#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#the 4x4 is four rounds of four characters' songs if that wasn't obvious#also please don't ask me what happened to the colors i do not know everything got WAY paler on export#i color picked everything i swear#anyways i love wxs so much and i wanted to draw something serious for this huge milestone of so many songs that i adore#i was initially planning on doing this for every band but if you can imagine making four gifs from scratch is actually a lot of work#i do probably have a bit of time before honami 4 comes out (mixed first + 3DMV) though so maybe i'll still do it idk#but i'm proud of myself for having finished this#wish i had remembered to add a watermark but it would take way too much work to fix it now so. please remember me.....#(and don't repost without credit :) )#my art#fanart#if the gifs are out of sync i am so sorry i have no idea how to fix that. this is my first time posting gifs :(#i hope they will be fixed
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some break/warm up drawings
#totk#fandom feels#artists on tumblr#sketchbook stuff#lmao I'm very proud of the cooking pot of all things hAHA#I love how link's hair fluffs up??#the top right is closer to the actual game model but still haha#it's nice hearing the little cooking jingle/sounds again :'D#also me trying and failing to find ref pics of the front of link's sandals LMAOO#without going to the game and taking pics myself
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antidepressants worked too good, i've converted to Catholicism
#lmaoo but yeah im catholic#technically i'm a revert but eh who cares#proud to call myself a lukewarm catholicism who still believes in abortion rights and gay marriage loll#but yea#fun life update#catholicism#catholic#dark academia#romantic academia#dark acadamia aesthetic#studyblr#light academia#academia#academia aesthetic#light acadamia aesthetic#no im not gonna post much ab my religion bc im v private about it#i just thought this was humorous
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HERMIT A DAY MAY - DAY 18
JoeHillsTSD x Where the Sidewalk Ends
For Joe Hills I chose Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein!
I loved this book along with A Light in the Attic when I was a kid. It was one of my earliest exposures to poetry and since Joe is a poet himself, I thought this would suit them well!
In addition to doing a drawing for Joe, I also tried my hand at an original Joe Hills poem in the style of Silverstein. Writing poetry is pretty far outside of my usual wheelhouse, so I hope it turned out suitably Silverstein-esque! I'm proud of it regardless. :)
Here is the text of the poem:
-
JOE HILLS
A puppet is Juppet
A felt little guy
That felt is swell
And svelte
And blue as the sky.
But try as I might
I can't help but think
All that felt
Must swelt
In a Nashville July!
-
To learn more about Where the Sidewalk Ends and see my style references, continue below the cut!
(Happy Hermitcraft stream weekend! A fine weekend to donate to Gamer's Outreach)
Where the Sidewalk Ends is a 1970s book of poetry by Shel Silverstein. Each poem is accompanied by a whimsical ink drawing also done by Silverstein.
The poetry is fantastical and imaginative, often written from a child-like perspective. Though the poetry sometimes touches on darker themes, it does so from a thoughtful place and the collection is enjoyable for people of all ages.
Even if you aren't someone who likes poetry, I highly recommend picking up Where the Sidewalk Ends or A Light in the Attic. They are both wonderful.
Style references:
Every poem in the book has a cute drawing to accompany it. Here is the poem from the above image:
THE ACROBATS
I'll swing
By my ankles,
She'll cling
To your knees
As you hang
By your nose
From a high-up
Trapeze.
But just one thing, please,
As we float through the breeze-
Don't sneeze.
The illustrations for Where the Sidewalk Ends are whimsical with sparse, stippled shading and cartoonish characters
The lineart of these drawings is thick and a little messy but still easily readable even when the subject of the drawings is unusual (which is pretty much all of them)
#Poetry is art too!#It's just not an art I have a lot of experience in#I'm happy I took on the challenge of writing for Joe#And that I still found a way to include a drawing as well#This is one of my favourite entries so far#and I'm proud of myself for giving it a shot!#joehillstsd#joe hills#hermitaday#hermitcraft
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WANDEE GOODDAY | 1.03
#wandee goodday#wandee goodday the series#wandeegooddayedit#tvedit#yak x dee#yakdee#great sapol#inn sarin#uservix#userspicy#usersasa#bledit#thaidrama#boyslovesource#usergay#userlinnea#userrlana#tusersilence#userbon#*#still trying to actually gif shows i'm watching!!!#and i actually coloured this myself for once i'm proud of it
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tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.
please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.
also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.
anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!
1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR
i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!
in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.
these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.
FORGETFULNESS
i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.
EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT
while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.
in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.
oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)
he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.
LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER
this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.
does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.
update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.
DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET
while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)
tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.
and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.
(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)
if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.
IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER
again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.
it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.
another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.
INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS
if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.
other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.
so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.
from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.
however, there is obviously one more thing...
HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST
obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.
is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.
i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.
2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL
those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).
of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.
won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)
THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET
besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).
other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.
TONDEMO-WONDERZ
since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.
from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.
88 SHOOTING STARS
another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.
aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.
you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.
tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.
MR SHOWTIME
mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff
there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.
also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.
from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.
i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.
oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.
to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.
i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.
3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS
listen, i know how it sounds.
i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.
for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...
he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.
and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.
(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)
and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.
nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.
tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?
if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?
and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.
however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.
aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!
is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.
feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao
...i hate ending analyses.
#i spent too much time on this. this is the most important thing i've ever written. if this flops i'm gonna do very bad things to myself.#/JOKE but seriously skdkshd if this does bad i'll be very sad#i'm way too passionate about this headcanon hehehehe#also don't mind the cover photo i just didn't want to put read more when it was still so empty#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#puroseka#prosekai#colorful stage#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wonderlands x showtime#tsukasa wxs#wxs tsukasa#tsukasa pjsk#pjsk tsukasa#tsukasa project sekai#project sekai tsukasa#putting more tags on this one because i'm sorta proud of it#if i actually messed up something very bad you'll never hear from me again#ri says things the tag
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Holy Object
#my art#second chance wip#fantasy art#animation#it's the Key y'all#cursed myself when I made arguably the most iconic object in my wip canonically impossible to draw#throwing in a little beetle imagery. as a treat. shh#spent too much of my day on this lol#!!!!!!!! have I mentioned that I'm insane about my own silly little story? !!!!!!!#did this live up the to full heights of my vision? absolutely not#some corners were cut. but. I still am proud of the end result
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a glow in the dark 🗡️
i almost never draw backgrounds so this was a really experimental drawing...
#the hobbit#bilbo baggins#lotr#lord of the rings#my art#i am still a little bit unsure of the background haha#but i guess it's fine because obviously it cannot be perfect as i haven't practiced#on the other hand i adore how bilbo turned out akdjskjd i'm so proud of myself#tolkien
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