#but i was like. i was waiting for the lesbian sex scene i truly was. but not like this. never like this...

[la0hu]

you may notice i'm not posting about the caitvi sex scene. well that's because jinx was actively trying to kill herself while vi decided to get her freak on and unlike her, i've got my fucking priorities in order

[thedeadedhooman]

Favourite supernatural ship/s

thanks for the ask anon<3

samjess is my favourite I guess. it's tragic and sad and beautiful. It always makes me upset and I end up in a puddle of tears. It hurts my brain and heart. It's like a stabbing pain in the gut. what gets me is that even after such a long time, sam could never actually let go of jessica I think. I mean what am I supposed to feel after the i still think about jessica. he was shopping for rings, and he proposed to a ghost, to his past. a nice sweet normal figment of his life, that he held on to for a while until tragedy struck. sam probably doesn't even have any photos of jessica, they were all burnt in the fire. he probably had that voicemail that she sent when he went with dean to hunt the woman in white. which probably got deleted when they had to switch phones or simcards cuz of their shitty lifestyle. she's only a memory to him...fuck

sastiel cuz I love their autistic swag. of course there are moments that make me mad like cas breaking sam's wall but cas also took sam's pain. sam and castiel are so soft and tender with each other. I just know the sex would've been a galaxy brain moment.

samruby because they're toxic af but they truly loved each other at some point. they would've worshipped each other I think. it's bout the roles and the dynamics, there's also a lot of manipulation and betrayal going on and that adds to the more complex elements regarding the pairing. also the soft tender way ruby tries to cajole sam into believing that what he did was right scratches at my brain because she too sacrificed a lot to be the one who catalysed the whole thing. they could've ruled hell together. and their whole sex scene is like two lesbians fucking each other.

deanlisa because dean had a bit of normalcy and a cute son. dean and lisa made a cute pairing I think. he got to be a dad for a little while I guess. It's sad and tragic cuz when cas wiped Lisa and Ben's memories, it really hurt. Like you build this little family and they gave you something to hold on to for a while when you missed your brother and then have all of that taken away from you PERMANENTLY. that shit is sad af.

sambrady because I KNOW WHAT THEY HAD GOING ON. demon lover brady my beloved. I know they fucked. cuz brady is a demon and he died.

samsarah. they are so cute. and honestly out of all the partners sam had in the show I think sarah blake would have been perfect for sam imo. she wanted to help them during the hunt. she's a tough girl. they kiss for the first and the last time and she hopes that sam would visit again. she keeps waiting and waiting and waiting, days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years and then one day she gets married has a kid and that tall floofy haired boy with the puppy dog eyes turns up at her doorstep. she has moved on obviously but at what cost? she died cuz of the very man she waited for so long. and oh sammy. the only reason why he didn't go back was that he knew it was dangerous for her. later he had to go to her to save her but again at what cost? sarah still died and she had a husband and a kid...

wincest. do I need to even say anything? I mean where do I even start? It's not like I want them to fuck each other but it's the codependency. there's a lot going on with these two that can't be seen with the naked eyes. it's the subtext, the yearning, the longing looks, the roles...how dean can't function without sam, he's afraid to be alone, how sam loses it when dean is gone, the need to be the no. 1 person on their priority list, and the fact that they're canonical soulmates. yeah they're weird and that's what I like about it. sam and dean winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other.

sammadison how could I not mention this one. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE AS WELL. I mean it's so fucking tragic. like you think you saved the girl but for what? it didn't work and it's gonna happen again and there's no cure and you two share these tender moments of intimacy thinking everything's gonna be okay only to be met with the opposite. you gave her hope and now it's being taken away..it's never gonna be okay and she asks you to kill her. whatthefuck. now you slowly see yourself in her, what if I become a monster and there's no way back and what if someone I love so much has to put me down like a sick dog. GOSH. I cried while watching that episode.

I also like samwena and saileen and megstiel but I haven't watched the later seasons that well so can't say much.

[alexissara]

Quick Review: Asumi-chan is Intrested in Lesbian Brothels! Vol 2

Asumi-chan is an utterly charming little "porn" yuri. While the story revolves around a simple concept, that Asumi-chan is looking for her childhood crush who she heard works at a Lesbian Brothel booking a different girl every weekend to meet her again it manages to be so much more then a collection of different sex scenes. We're seeing a younger queer woman explore her sexuality, her life change and how she changes as she discovers more about herself.

We intercut Asumi's journey with cuts to Mai who is still in love with Asumi from their first kiss. The formula is mostly the same as it was in Vol 1 only now Asumi-chan has a few recurring characters in addition to the last batch including going on a not at all smutty little hang out with a new girl to watch her favorite anime series' new movie [which leads to her having cosplay sex with a different girl the next week].

The writer clearly as a bit of a thing for roleplay and cosplay, which is fine by me because as asexual as I am those are basically the only forms of sex that are appealing to me, personally. There is a fairly hot threesome scene too, I just love when girls get to enjoy other girls with other girls, it's really good, fills my polyamorous lesbain heart with glee.

The recurring characters are all fun, they show up long enough to give Asumi a life outside of having sex at brothels. The core romance is compelling in that you want to see if Asumi and Mai would out and if maybe Asumi should take a moment to stop and see what's in front of her too and the potential relationships she is passing up on.

Something very nice about this series is it is very humanizing of the sex workers, all of them are treated like full people with hobbies, lives, preferences. They all become smitten with Asumi to some degree but that's just a part of the fantasy. In this volume we find out one of Asumi's friends is a former sex worker and quit and Asumi herself while not engaging in sex work does have a job at a lesbian cosplay bar with the intention of delighting the women who come in.

This is a masterfully done series that naturalizes sex and feelings and exploring in ways I've never seen in most pieces of art. This is truly a special series and I can't wait for Volume 3 and 4 and more if they make more.

[If you enjoy this review consider sending me support on Patreon so I can make more gay art and read/review more gay art.]

[my-personal-multiverse]

This reminds me of a situation I had in a slinta (sapphic, lesbian, intersex, non-binary, trans, agender) darkroom recently. Overall I and the person I played with had a good time but when we were talking afterwards she told me that there were several people who kept interrupting her during our scene and one girl who wanted her to hurt and spank her and was not taking her saying no several times for an answer. She ended up spanking her once and then telling her that now wasn't the time for more to get her to leave and told me later that she didn't actually want to do that but didn't want any conflict. This wasn't the first time I'd heard something like this and apparently there are some people around who don't seem to realize that consent also applies the same for BDSM Tops and that if you ask someone to hurt you and they say no and you keep pressuring them that that is just as much of a consent issue as any other sex act. Just because you're a subby bottom doesn't mean you can't violate someone's consent.

On a different note my life got a lot better once I stopped being afraid of rejection and just started asking for what I want. I know this is making the point that it's a fear of being predetory that's stopping people from being proactive. And I can see that. I've had the fear of accidentally crossing someone's boundaries before. But that can only really happen when you either don't take no for an answer (which I always will) or you try to figure out what people want without directly talking about it. I know some people think going with the flow or something is hot and direct communication isn't but I've mostly given up on that. Like I've been in situations where things weren't fully communicated ahead of time and everyone still knew it was fine and things were great. But mostly that's not how things go in my life. If you're the kinda person who likes getting slapped in the face you kinda just have to tell people that because otherwise it's not going to happen (or if it did just happen it would be a problem). And the thing that was mostly standing in my way wasn't the fear of being predetory it was fear of rejection. If you are asking for things from people directly you can be rejected. That can never happen if you're just standing there waiting for others to make all the moves. What helped me feel fine with rejection was realizing that two people can be attractive and like each other and still not be sexually compatible and there really truly was no reason for me to feel bad because of someone not wanting to have sex with me. There's so many possible reasons for that.

And now that I just ask for what I want I end up in situations like this one recently where I was at a party with a dark room. I was talking to a stranger and she mentioned wanting to find someone to Top and I just said "well if you want to Top me just let me know". And that's how I got someone to Top me within the first five minutes of meeting them.

Honorable mention to my partner who I have learned a lot about direct communication from. For several years my current partner was a good friend and ex of mine. First time we hooked up again really just happened. But the second time happened when I came over to watch a movie and They point blank asked me "just to make sure we're on the same page. We want to have sex with each other, right?"

Another fun one was about fisting. I told Them I wanted to get fisted by Them last Christmas. They said They wanted to think about it. I think I told Them about a fantasy I had with it one more time. Several months into this year at some point They out of absolutely nowhere while sitting in the kitchen say "sometimes when I don't think about anything else... I think about fisting"

Anyway the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. Asking isn't predetory. Rejection is fine. Consent works the same for Tops and bottoms. The power dynamic can only start after you've talked about it as equals.

In a piece for The New Inquiry from back in 2017, George Dust states that when queer people complain about there being a top shortage, what they really mean is “nobody is fucking me the way I want, and I have no agency in that.” Alongside co-authors Billy-Ray Belcourt and Kay Gabriel, Dust suggests that many queer people align themselves with a passive or “bottom” position because they believe that role will absolve them of the guilt of really wanting things. They present themselves as what they believe to be the sexual party with zero power; the receiver, the accepter of action rather than its cause.

This position is drawn in contrast to the bottom-identified person’s idea of a top: the one who approaches, the person with hungers and desires, the person who decides which sexual activities will happen and how intense they will get. The top, from this perspective, is the stronger, more capable, more dangerous person. They’re the only one who can ever be guilty of intruding or harming somebody else. This power is scary, but it’s also compelling.

Dust calls this fantastical version of a top a “brute” — and they are the most cartoonish stereotype of what it means in society to be a man. Because it’s a cartoonish stereotype, no human actually lives up to it — and we’d probably revile a person even if they could.

Though queer people know we are harmed by the gender binary and heteronormativity and all the social scripts those things force upon us, its biases are still embossed on our brains. Without meaning to, we reproduce tired gender stereotypes in our relationships. And so we see expressing a sexual want as masculine, and being masculine as being more capable of violence and coercive control, and thus bad. We see failing to communicate one’s desires openly as desirably feminine, as well as a sign of blamelessness and purity — because on some level we still feel it is wrong to have desires.

But this entire worldview is a complete lie. Desire is not evil. Expressing attraction is not a violation. Failing to express oneself can be just as dangerous as not listening to someone else’s limits. Women can be abusive. Bottoms can sexually assault. No matter our gender, presentation, or sexual role, we are each capable of harm. And the only way to make a safe, mutually pleasurable sexual encounter happen is by going after it, actively, and communicating from a position of inner strength.

So how do you do that, if society’s been telling you all your life that you’re meant to date by acting like a deer passively snapping twigs in the woods, waiting for some hunter to hear you, and pursue you? (That really is dating advice that Evangelical Christian counselors give to women, if you can believe it).

By not fixating so much on what you’re doing or not doing to draw other people toward you, and instead thinking in terms of what you want and what you observe beyond yourself.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply! Missy teasing Clara yessssss, can't wait until Missy gets Clara all flustered at the teasing but also flustered because the reader is seeing her blush at being teased. One thing you don't have to add this in but if you make it smutty then feel free is I am such a whore for like, kisses on the soft skin of the inner thighs or like hickeys on their inner thighs, especially since it's in an area no one can see. I watched some Missy/Clara moments and in the Dalek tunnel Missy is bonkers as usual but the fact that Clara let Missy pin her against the wall like that when she says 'wheeeeeeee' is both hot and hilarious (I'm jealous of Missy for that). I'm also lowkey jealous of 11 when Clara faints in the doctor's timestream, not because of wanting to be carried by 11 but because of wanting to pick up Clara bridal style - if she was awake she would have totally blushed at what he did.

Yeah, literally all my friends think I have ADHD and also the emotional range of a teaspoon which ends up quite funny in conversations but my family would rather do anything than have a family member who is neurodivergent (or gay, for that matter, hence the closet)

Omg only child lore, also yes I had to Google what a Saltine was!! LOL

I don't trust streaming services either - I use Plex and host my own server anyway so I can have all my media locally!! Also...I've never heard of sweet tea it doesn't exist in tea-and-crumpet land as far as I'm aware. Speaking of Britishisms, the fact that you used the word 'telly' in the request prompt ask...I'm literally swooning for that story you do spoil me with your fabulous writings.

As for Wilderness, let me know when you watch it! I've decided I'm going to write a little fan script going back over Will and Liv's scene in the bar, and then Liv...lets just say shows Cara how she should be treated if you catch my drift, before being called back by the boys downstairs to make my own adaptions of that snapshot of the show.

The problem with that series is it assumes someone could cheat on Jenna Coleman which is impossible /j

Also I was thinking about Jasmine from Emmerdale and literally her personality she's so perfect I can't, like she always wears her heart on her sleeve and is ambitious and kind and also slightly ashamed of her sexuality which is like yours truly haha. I'm not saying she's a lesbian I don’t mean it like that I'm not invalidating bi-ness or whatever, but she (semi-spoilers) always seems to go after men who are way older, like, could be her Dad level of older, and I mean with the exception of one boy every other guy she dated was at least 10 years older. She was 19 dating a 37 year old and one of the guys she was with, they had a date, and she kept trying to interrupt their date to invite Debbie places with them. Even in the storylines when she was about 17, maybe it's just the way Jenna and Charley played it but from when I watched it you can tell Jasmine is crushing hard on Debbie, but Debbie (bless her, foster kid) often uses sex and love as a way to deal with her pain or keep people close and it becomes kinda evident in this one scene where Debbie wants them to sleep together but Jasmine isn't ready and they start to kiss, at Debbie's direction. They were interrupted so didn't sleep together but it was all pushed on by Debbie, or like when Jasmine wants to sing in the choir but doesn't because Debbie thinks its weird and wants to impress her, or lies about kissing her as a 'joke' because she really is into Debbie and doesn't want Debbie to think she's weird. Jasmine tries so hard to prove to herself she's not bisexual (or she thought she was a lesbian at the time) and that Debbie's just a friend that when a younger friend found her and Debbie and talked to Jasmine about the possibility of her being a lesbian, Jasmine goes and kisses Debbie's dad to 'prove' she's not, but Jasmine keeps pushing him off like she's disgusted at it. There is a moment where Debbie tries to get her daughter back and at just 19 years old Jasmine offers for the pair of them to raise Debbie's daughter together, which shows just how much Jasmine loves Debbie romantically and platonically. They do look like a proper couple in 2009 with the way they act, but I find it so stupid that they never explored anything to do with anything I've just mentioned e.g. Jasmine crushing harder on Debbie than the boys, or her taste in men possibly relating to being ditched by her parents. She definitely liked Jake, one of her boyfriends, so she's bi, but the way they wrote the whole thing is so bonkers - although, thats British soaps for you! Sorry for the really long yap, I'll get back to the other stuff now!!

Clara x Planetarium fic sounds so special 🥺 omg maybe Clara could fall asleep at the end of the day and the reader bridal carries her from the passenger seat of the car to her bed and then Clara asks the reader to sleep next to her or something that would be super cute idk just an idea!

Maybe it's just me, but those ideas from the prompts just flowed pretty easily! They all sounded very amusing and if you make any into proper fics I can't wait to read them!

Ugh I love Night In so much your writing is mwah chefs kiss, the bubblegu, the bralette, Clara getting all flustered and then in the mood, its perfect. And goodness me you wrote it very quickly! I love the idea of swapping clothes after..adult activites that you put in, especially if their scent is on the item omg perfect

Enjoy the Tumblrverse and sorry for the long yap!

- ⭐

I'll definitely add that in to the fic when I write it! and clara and missy had so much chemistry together honestly, I love shipping them and the doctor in a polycule because I think they work so well together (and I'd also love to carry a fainted clara but unfortunately I'm incredibly weak and couldn't)

I completely get the family thing, only my mom knows about me being queer and neurodivergent because she's pretty chill. although my grandparents recently found out about me going by aeron instead of my birth name (long story so I won't get into it) and my papa (my grandfather) was perfectly fine with it because he's always been cool about stuff like that. interestingly enough when I was talking about it with them at lunch the other day my nana (my grandma) said nothing, which is hilarious to me because that woman has an opinion on everything and everyone (she wasn't quite as fond I could tell)

honestly I had to google several british terms when I first started watching bbc sherlock/doctor who, but I think I'm pretty caught up on them for the most part. I know that you say chips instead of french fries and crisps instead of chips, and that you call vacations "going on a holiday", and I know that instead of calling it the subway you call it the tube, and instead of tv/television it's telly and instead of apartment it's flat and obviously instead of mom you say mum (I also know you guys refuse to travel longer than 45 minutes unless it's a holiday or event because everything's so close together?? which is so crazy to me because in the us everything is so spread out that people will drive longer than that just to go to work everyday. how does it feel to have everything within walking distance because I'm lowkey jealous haha)

ooh, nice! I just get a bunch of physical copies of media. I have nuwho ninth doctor through thirteenth doctor on dvd, I have all of bbc sherlock, all of nbc hannibal, the first five seasons of the vampire diaries, the first two season of gossip girl, all of house md... I have more and you probably don't know a lot of those shows but it's okay lmao, the point is I prefer to have physical media instead. and sweet tea is so good!! I don't know if you have a hardee's where you live but it's a popular fast food chain here (kind of like taco bell haha) and they make stuff like fried chicken and biscuits (not the cookie type that you're used to, though, american biscuits) and sweet tea. the food can be pretty greasy like most fast food here is but I'd recommend trying it at least once if you ever had the chance to. and thank you so much!! it really means a lot to me to know that someone who's actually british enjoys my writing that's fanfiction based off a british tv show

I'm always so bad when it comes to watching new shows because of my executive dysfunction but you've said so many good things about it I'm definitely going to have to watch it soon! and I completely get wanting to rewrite certain scenes to your liking, I'm sure your rendition of it will be great <3

again most men only cheat because they're insecure and feel threatened by being with women who are so beautiful, so they cheat as if they're trying to prove something to themselves, which usually only proves that they're a massive idiot (I really hope it doesn't sound like I'm mansplaining right now 😭 I'm not trying to I swear)

it's so crazy to me how you can have two characters that are the same gender who clearly have a deep and meaningful bond and are obviously soulmates but they never explore that possibility because god forbid things be gay for once 🙄 and the drama of emmerdale sounds so interesting I really need to check it out

that sounds so cute, I love that 🥹 it really makes me wish I was actually heavy enough to pick someone up to carry them bridal style but oh well, I can just pretend by writing it into my fics

I think my favorite one from the list might be the first one with river trying to control the tardis while being, shall we say distracted because she's usually so level headed and calm that the idea of her getting flustered at something is so funny to me. and thank you, you're so sweet 🥰

I have no clue how I was able to write it so quickly in all honesty, it just sort of started to flow through my creative juices and once I started writing I just couldn't stop. as usual I'm super glad to hear you enjoyed it! (I'm going to start working on the fics from the other prompt asks you sent me, so keep an eye out for those!!) I've been writing a lot recently, I'm not sure if you've seen the post I made with all my recent fics or just the fics themselves but I've been on a massive creative streak and I'm so proud of myself. I remembering at one point when I was struggling to get out even one fic each MONTH and now I'm getting out at least one every day

you're perfectly fine! I always love yapping with you <3 I hope you're doing well 💕

[rebelfell]

Surrender II

eddie munson x fem!reader x lesbian!chrissy cunningham

You find out the full story of Eddie and Chrissy's past, and surprise yourself a little with just how interested you are.

Part One┃Part Two┃Part Three

cw: established relationship, platonic!hc (eddie and chrissy are college besties), questioning/bi reader, phone sex (w/Chrissy), oral sex (fem receiving).

18+, MDNI 6.5k

Does excessive backstory need a warning? Cos that's what you're getting, bby. Also, this post by @pollenallergie is more or less how Chrissy came out to Eddie in my head 🥲

A little smirk breaks through Chrissy’s stoic facade and you feel yourself starting to laugh, half from shock and half from relief.

“Wait, so you…you’re…”

“Yep,” Chrissy nods. “Gay as the day is long.”

She smiles proudly at the admission, seeming pleased she can state it so plainly without any hemming or hesitation. You on the other hand, are long lost in your tangled thoughts, feeling almost as though you have whiplash trying to think of something to say.

Eddie clears his throat and you look up at him instinctively, finding an expression you’ve never seen before. It’s like he’s…worried. Did he need to be? The sharing girls thing was quite a revelation, but given everything you knew about his past, it kind of made sense.

“S-sorry,” you say, realizing how long you’ve been silent. “I’m just…trying to play catch up.”

“Well, Eddie should have told you,” Chrissy says, a little pointedly. “Sounds like someone is still a tad overprotective.” Her glance darts across the table at your boyfriend, who mumbles under his breath something like, jus’ trying to look out for you. 

His typically boisterous face has grown sullen as he stares at his beer and swirls the last swallow of it that sits in the bottom of the tall glass. Chewing nervously on the corner of your lip, you turned back towards Chrissy.

“Do you think you could, uh…would you mind walking me through it?”

“Of course,” she says. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

“Okay,” you sigh. “How, um…how did it start? Like, how did you guys…when did you…”

The question snags in your throat, face getting hot as you search for exactly what you’re trying to ask only to come up empty. Chrissy’s head tips to the side and she smiles at you reassuringly.

“Should I go back to the beginning?”

She glances between you and Eddie, gauging your reactions, and you look back at him as you reach over to take his hand in yours.

“Is that okay with you?” you ask quietly.

He nods as your fingers lace together. “Yeah,” he says. “I want you to know.”

He holds your gaze for a moment and you squeeze his fingers quickly three times in a row. Your secret communication. An invisible note you pass back and forth whenever you think the other needs the reminder. I. Love. You. It finally brings a small smile back to his face. He lifts his gaze to meet Chrissy’s and gives her an affirming nod.

“Okay, then. Here we go!” 

She titters excitedly and spreads her fingers wide as she prepares dramatically to lay her scene. You shoot Eddie a glance, noting his storytelling influence as she begins. 

“So: high-school. Super fun if you fit in, but of course set one toe out of line and you’re all but burned at the stake. And I was this total goody two-shoes. Genuinely, the wildest thing I ever did was buy a tiny baggie of weed from this one.” She jerks her thumb at Eddie. “And my boyfriend was this super uptight Christian—like, I’m pretty sure he thought if he fingered me, he’d have to chop off his own hand. Which was fine, because he wasn’t what I wanted at all as it turns out.”

That must be the glass of spoiled milk. You nod thoughtfully as Chrissy goes on.

“We broke up right before graduation because I refused to follow him to his first choice school and instead I went away to be a counselor at summer camp…where I met Evelyn.”

She smiles wistfully again with that harlequin romance face of hers.

“We were truly, madly, deeply in love for all of about six weeks. And then our summer bubble popped and it all came to a crashing halt. She went back to Minnesota, and I went home to try and figure out what I was gonna do with my life. And, as it turned out, Eddie was too.”

You knew this part—how Eddie had just barely scraped by on his third attempt at a senior year; how he was more shocked than anyone when the college he applied to on a whim actually admitted him. It was cheaper than every other school in the area, and they had a reputation of accepting just about everyone. But Eddie had been convinced “everyone” wouldn’t include him.

“So, we both wound up at the same school and I was feeling really lost. The whole Jason debacle caused a big rift with my parents and my friends had gone away for college. I was already lonely and I’d just discovered this massive, totally life-altering thing about myself, but I had absolutely no one I could talk to about it.”

Chrissy looks down at her drink somberly and you tried to imagine her back then—the beautiful girl from his yearbook, the literal queen of his high-school, seemingly losing everything that made her, her and it makes your heart ache a little bit.

“I was stressed out and not sleeping well, so I went looking for Eddie to see if I could buy from him again. And he wasn’t selling anymore, but he asked if I wanted to hang out instead. He invited me to sit in on a D&D campaign and introduced me to a lot of really great people.”

At this, Eddie and Chrissy smiled, remembering how poorly her fairy character had fared in that first campaign.

“He was actually the first person I came out to,” she says, eyes softening as she cast a fond gaze in Eddie’s direction. “I wasn’t sure how, but I just knew he wouldn’t judge me. Would never make me feel bad for…being who I was.”

You can’t help but look up at Eddie at Chrissy’s words. You knew all too well the depths of his kindness and his unfailing decency. You knew exactly how at ease he must have made Chrissy feel because he’d been doing the same for you as long as you’d known him.

“So, now I knew I liked girls, but still it was, like, terrifying because I had zero idea how to go about it. And not having any experience kinda made it tough to get experience y’know? Plus…it was still Indiana. Hawkins wasn’t that far away. I knew if anybody found out it would 100% get back to my parents, and I was afraid they’d drag me out of school and send me to a conversion camp or something. I really wouldn’t put it past them to do just that. And back then I…I really didn’t know how to fight back yet.”

Chrissy frowns a little, something like regret or shame ghosting across her face. It’s quickly chased away, though, gone almost as soon as it appears.

“Anyway, Eddie became like my…” She pauses, glossy lips pursed as she thought. “What’s the lesbian equivalent of a beard?”

“A merkin?” Eddie offered, earning a mutual eye roll from you and Chrissy.

“Well, whatever you call it, getting together with people with him felt way safer than going up to someone and hitting on them in a bar. Plus…Eddie has excellent taste in girls.”

Chrissy’s eyes dart sideways and flicker over you again. They linger on your face and drift down briefly to your chest before returning to your eyes. In spite of everything, it makes your cheeks tingle and your core pulse, and you have to forcibly bring yourself back to the moment.

“So, what happened with Never Have I Ever?”

“That was how it got started. I was having a party and Eddie brought this girl he was kind of seeing. We were all sitting around playing and we started talking about threesomes. And she’s like, oh, I’ve never had one, but I always wanted to try. And starts getting all touchy and affectionate with me. And, I guess, I knew she was trying to get Eddie to like her more? Like she was for sure using me, but I was kind of using her too? I don’t know, that’s for me and my therapist to unpack.”

She waves her hands, dismissing the thought before she gets too wrapped up in it.

“Anyway—we all go back to my room and she and I start making out like, ooh, yeah, we’re just kissing trying to turn Eddie on. Meanwhile I’m, like, basically forgetting Eddie is even there!”

Your brows raise as you turn to look at your boyfriend, who simply shrugs his shoulders with an it is what it is, kind of smile on his lips.

“Wow…that’s…quite the visual,” you say. 

It really was. 

You knew Eddie was no saint. He’d had quite a roster in his heyday and he’d always been up front with you about that. He wasn’t Hugh Heffner or anything, but he had that boyish ease and a roguish charm about him that girls (and a couple guys) flocked to. It wasn’t difficult to imagine him and Chrissy tearing through their college like the Williams sisters playing doubles.

“It wasn’t, like, a routine or anything,” Chrissy assures. “But it did end up happening pretty regularly. I got my sea legs, so to speak, and Eddie totally became my wing man. We’d, like, confer about what girls I was interested in and he would lay the groundwork to see if she’d be down. I mean, it was college, so of course a lot of girls were trying to experiment.”

Her dainty fingers made exaggerated air quotes.

“By junior year, I’d found some actual queer girls instead of straight girls trying to get attention. And if I’m ever looking to really date someone, I try to stick to people who are out.”

Eddie snorts as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Hey!” Chrissy squeaks indignantly. “I said try.”

She plucks a peanut from the bowl of mixed snacks sitting in the center of the table and flicked it at him. As if predicting the move, he opens his mouth to catch the nut and crunches it loudly in his teeth as he grins back at her smugly.

You half expect him to stick out his tongue.

“Anyway, all that is way behind us now,” Chrissy says. “We’re much older and wiser.”

Eddie nods in agreement as he reaches for the bowl of snack mix.

“Well…older, at least,” she adds, murmuring to you under her breath as Eddie coughs and sputters slightly on the handful of snacks he shoved so unceremoniously in his mouth.

You snicker again as you two share another conspiring look. 

“So, yeah. That’s pretty much it,” she says.

“Wow,” you sigh softly, lost in thought.

It’s surprising how quickly you start to imagine them together. Soft, reddish blonde curls falling across a smooth back; mixed up with pale, inked skin and his dark, wild shag. Eddie’s rough and guttural moans layering over the high, feminine whines you imagined falling from Chrissy’s lips. And maybe even more surprising…the only one you actually felt some jealousy of was whatever girl that got to be between them.

“Yeah, we had quite a time. And we could get kind of competitive…which added a fun layer.”

Chrissy’s voice drops as she lifts her cocktail to take a sip, her eyes meeting yours over the rim, and a little of her drink dribbles on her bowed lips. Her tongue flicks out between them to collect it and you feel a sudden warmth on your leg. Her hand finds your knee under the table and she gently starts to gently glide it up your thigh.

You look down, hypnotized by the sight of her fingers drawing figure eights that slipped briefly beneath the hemline of your dress, leaving your skin buzzing wherever she touched it. Almost on instinct, you look over at Eddie, who was already smirking as he followed the movements of Chrissy’s hand on your leg with his eyes. 

His gaze lifts to meet hers and her lips twitch with a smirk of her own, clearly offering a challenge. There’s more buzzing as Eddie reaches for your other thigh, gripping it tight in his wide palm as he hauls himself closer to you in the booth. Chrissy responds in kind, nudging up next to you until your nose is filled again with the crisp, light scent of her perfume. It mixes with Eddie’s headier musk to create something totally unique, much like their distinct touches and the varied pressures of their hands on your thighs and differing weights of those hands.

Heavy and light. Rough and soft. Leather and lace.

Chrissy’s sea glass eyes flicker with intention as you meet her gaze. Her fingers wander higher still, disappearing beneath your skirt and flirting with the crease of your thigh. And you’re certain she must be able to feel the heat radiating at the apex of your legs. Eddie’s hand moves up in kind and he leans in close to kiss the sensitive spot behind your ear he knows so well.

It’s just a game, you think. They must be doing a bit.

The heat of their combined gazes causes an excited fluttering in your chest and a warm rush of blood to your face, among other places. Your pulse throbs, head spinning until Chrissy pulls her hand back and you finally exhale a shaky breath. Eddie chuckles darkly and he presses his lips to your burning cheek, his eyes flickering one last time to Chrissy’s as he does.

You can practically hear his childish taunt of Ha-ha, I win.

At the end of the night, you and Eddie wait outside with Chrissy until her Uber arrives. She was house-sitting for Robin and Nancy while they were in Barbados for a babymoon before Nancy was due to pop in the next four or five months. When her car arrives, you all start to say your goodbyes and both of you open your arms and envelop one another while Eddie looks on.

Chrissy hops in the backseat, reminding you again to let her know if you want to get together again before she heads back to Chicago in a few weeks. You smile and assure her you will, holding up your phone that now has her number saved in your contacts.

On the ride back home, Eddie seems more fidgety than normal. He’s mostly quiet, not even humming along with the radio when you switch it to his preferred station. And when you get home, he’s extra doting from the moment he pulls into the driveway, rushing to tell you to hold on as you reach for the handle so he can come around to your side and open it for you.

Inside, he stops you at the door so he can kneel and help pull off your shoes.

“Thank you, baby,” you whisper, running your hands through his hair and gently scratching his scalp. He sets your boots to the side and stands, wrapping you up in him.

You breathe his scent deeply and start to step away, but he’s not done with you yet.

“Hey,” Eddie starts, gently tugging you back into his arms. He tilts his head down and touches his forehead to yours. “You’re okay, right? With everything you heard?”

“Yeah,” you say, nodding slowly. “I do wish you had told me. I was really getting up in my head about you two.”

“I should have,” he murmured. “And I wanted to, really, but…I guess I was a little afraid of what you might think. Like Chrissy said, I know it sounds kind of scandalous.”

You licked your lips, deep in thought. It was a little weird to think about, sure. You’d never asked for a lot of details about his past relationships, afraid of the specter of jealousy that loomed. You’d figured in most cases, the less you knew, the better. But it was difficult (impossible, actually) for you not to wonder about this.

“So, you’ve had like…a lot of threesomes, then?”

“Technically?” Eddie shrugs. “I don’t know, I never considered it that because I never got with Chrissy. I think she liked watching me fuck girls, but we were like ships passing in the night. The most we would do was like a stage kiss.”

Eddie demonstrates by pulling you into him like he’s going in for the kill, but angling his head in such a way it only seems like you’re touching. Unless someone was laying down beneath you, it would look like you were kissing from almost any direction. He wiggles his head around wildly and makes a series of slurping and smacking noises that cause you to erupt in giggles.

“And none of the girls ever noticed?” you ask, breathless from laughing.

“I think they were a little distracted,” he tells you, his voice getting all low and rumbly. “Kinda hard to keep track of what’s going on with two people trying to make you come.”

The words ignite the fire in your cheeks as does the way he keeps his hold on you, hugging you flush against his body. His excitement is evident pressed up against your hip and you wonder if he can tell you’ve been soaking since he and Chrissy touched your thighs under the table.

“That tracks,” you breathe heavily, shivering as he runs his fingertips up and down your arms. “I can see how the two of you together would be difficult to resist…”

“I definitely didn’t have to push,” Eddie chuckles. “The girls were super down all on their own.”

“No, I get it. Chrissy’s…really pretty,” you say softly. Eddie notes the shift in your tone when you say it this time, no longer threatened. Purely appreciative. Genuine.

“You know, she thought the same thing about you,” he says with an impish smile.

“What do you mean?”

To answer, Eddie takes out his phone and holds it out for you to take. The screen is open to his text thread with Chrissy and you scroll through the messages they’ve been sending leading up to your meeting. It’s all fairly innocuous, not dissimilar to the texts you’d exchanged with him about what nights you were free and where you should go while Chrissy was here.

One of the messages, though, is a picture of you he sent to Chrissy captioned with a heart eyes emoji. The shot is one you’ve never even seen before, from a day not long ago when you and Eddie went for ice cream. You’re sitting across a table from him, looking totally relaxed and comfortable—the polar opposite of how you normally feel in front of a camera.

In your hand is a vanilla cone, a little dab of it on the tip of your nose. Your sunglasses rest on top of your head and your face is luminous as you look off to the side at something—a little dog wearing a bowtie, if memory serves. It might be the most flattering photo you’ve ever seen of yourself, and even more flattering are Chrissy’s proceeding reactions.

Chrissy: wowowowow 😛 she’s stunning! jeez, I might need a minute…

Eddie: hands where I can see ‘em, cunningham.

Chrissy: I kid, I kid! I wouldn’t dare steal your girl

Chrissy: at least not the *first* time we meet.

Excitement warms your chest and the feeling of it radiates down to your center like when Chrissy’s eyes flickered over you at the bar. Eddie’s eyes glint with excitement of his own as he slips his hands down to palm your ass, lifting the skirt of your dress so it skims the tops of your thighs.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you more explicitly,” he says. “I wasn’t sure if Chrissy wanted it to be broadcasted. This is still Hawkins, you know?”

“It’s alright, I get it,” you say.

“And you…you’re sure you’re okay?”

Eddie’s eyes shimmer as he stares at you, revealing the briefest hint of fear. He doesn’t like lying to you, ever. And you know he wouldn’t have done it under many circumstances.

“Yeah, definitely.” You smile, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. “It's just surprising, I guess.”

“Surprising how?”

“I don’t know, how…hot it is?” You squirm slightly in his arms. “The thought of you guys sharing a girl…both of you making it all about her…”

Eddie’s brow lifts with interest. He knows what a turn-on that is for you—the thought of being the center of your lover’s attention; having them lavish you with affections; prioritizing your pleasure over anything and everything else. He also knew how hard it was for you to voice such a desire because of how selfish it made you feel. And then he had to grit his teeth as he listened to you recount seemingly endless tales of past boyfriends who took advantage of your giving nature  and didn’t return even a fraction of what they received. 

For a whole month afterward, he’d enacted a strict two-for-one policy on himself just to see if he could pull it off. Obviously, he could—even pushing it to three and four if he remembered to stretch first.

Still, he was always looking for new ways to indulge your fantasies.  And it sure sounded like this was shaping up to be one of them.

It’s a couple days later when you come home after work, practically singing to yourself as you kick off your shoes and head into the kitchen to start prepping things for dinner. Fridays normally put you in a good mood anyway, but they’re especially sweet when Eddie had a weekend off. 

You had beat him home. He typically left the garage around 3:00 to compensate for having to be back so early Saturday morning, but the shop was closed through Monday because the owner’s daughter was getting married. To make up for it, their hours had been extended today to squeeze in a few extra customers. Eddie volunteered to stay on, knowing how his boss appreciated it and how he showed that appreciation on payday. Hopper probably could have kept regular hours just by asking Eddie to run things in his stead, but he liked giving his employees a free weekend now and again, especially when he had something to celebrate.

You busy yourself chopping vegetables and browning some ground beef with onions and garlic, a row of cans containing the rest of your ingredients for chili lined up on the counter. Just as you’ve thrown everything in the crock pot and set it to cook on low, a picture of Chrissy’s sweet smiling face fills your phone screen as it buzzes on the countertop. You reach for it with shaking hands, trying to contain yourself and sound as normal as you can as you slide onto a barstool.

“Hi, honey,” she coos in a dulcet tone. “How are you?”

“I-I’m good,” you say, doing your best to pretend you aren’t trembling with excitement just at the sound of her voice. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, really,” she sighs, sounding a little bit like a pout. “I’m so bored. Eddie said he would call when he got off work so we could all do something, but I haven’t heard anything yet.”

“Ohh, he had to stay late at the garage. He should be home soon, though.”

“Ah, I see. What about you, angel? When did you get off?”

You draw a shuddering breath at her question, feeling certain the entendre is intentional, and hoping she can’t hear you gulp as you answer. “Umm, just…just a little while ago.”

“Mmhmm…and what are you doing now?”

You hear a soft brushing sound over the line and could swear it sounds like she’s laying down on something soft. Maybe a couch, maybe a bed.

“I’ve, um…I’ve been thinking a lot about what you guys told me at the bar.” Another gulp. “About you and him and…sharing girls?”

“Me too,” she sighs. It’s languid and gently strained as though she’s stretching as she says it, exhaling softly into the release of her muscles relaxing. “Made me kinda miss those days…part of me wonders if I’ve still got enough charm to woo a straight girl.”

“I think you’ve got enough charm to do anything you want,” you chuckle.

Chrissy’s laugh is like peals of jingle bells tinkling in your ear. “You big flirt,” she teases.

Your heart is pounding now, the rhythm of it pulsing in your ears and between your legs. Is this for real? Maybe she’s just messing around. Maybe she just likes attention. Maybe—

“Have you ever been with a girl?”

You inhale sharply and chew on your bottom lip. “No, never. My, uh…my friends and I kiss sometimes, but it’s just out of affection. Nothing serious. Nothing real.”

You wonder if she’s able to glean your own disappointment. You’ve never had feelings for a woman, per se, but there had been moments here or there where you noticed certain ones and it caused your mind to wander. There was something so enticing about them. Something so bewitching it made your head spin. Boys were attractive, sure, but women were like works of art come to life.

They seemed more like masterpieces in museums hanging behind glass barriers and velvet ropes you would never dream of touching for fear of tarnishing their beauty.

You’d always suspected there was some part of you that was interested in women and that it might have blossomed if given the opportunity. But then you met Eddie and it didn’t seem to matter so much anymore. Bi or otherwise, he was the one you wanted. 

Still, that curiosity lingered. 

“Have you ever wanted to try?”

Chrissy asks her question plainly. There’s no judgment in her voice, no sense that she’s trying to shame you for your sheltered existence or even pressure you into answering in the affirmative. It feels like talking to an old friend, except your panties didn’t get this wet talking to your friends.

“I did. Or, I guess, I do. I don’t know, it’s hard to say. I love Eddie and he’s who I want to be with, but…” You can’t help trailing off because the truth is you don’t know the end of that sentence.

This was a common failing with you.

Not a failing, Eddie would scold you gently. It’s just a space for improvement. You weren’t great at expressing your desires and had a bad habit of just accepting whatever was offered, and making your own wants an afterthought. And Eddie was everything you ever wanted, so how could you possibly be so selfish as to ask for more?

“No, I get it,” Chrissy says. “He really loves you and you two are so sweet together. But…” Your heart leaps into your throat. “I’m sure he would like the idea of you finding something new that brings you pleasure.”

You pressed your lips together, deep in thought. She definitely had a point there.

Eddie was great about exploring new things and doing whatever he could to help you figure out what you might like in bed. So far, you’d had fairly limited experiences, partly due to being shy and also just a lack of opportunity. Again, see ex-boyfriends who were perfectly content having you pleasure them, but rarely made the leap to think outside the box (pun intended).

He’d read up on soft dominance when you mentioned once in passing you liked the idea of someone being in control over you, but figured you couldn’t be a submissive because you didn’t think you’d enjoy impact play or being punished or humiliated. And another time when you saw a short video on proper hair pulling technique and asked if you could try it out on him, he started doing it back to you and excitedly realized it was very much more your thing.

“I mean…we could try something?” Chrissy says. “With Eddie there?”

“I think I’d be too scared,” you say, wincing at your own diminutive voice.

“Oh, honey,” she mewls sweetly. “Why’s that?”

“B-because I…I wouldn’t know what I was doing and I…” You pinch your eyes shut and dredge up every speck of confidence you have to finish the thought. “I would wanna make you come.”

There’s a soft gasp over the line, so faint you thought you must have imagined it at first. And when Chrissy takes a few seconds to respond, you swear your heart stops until her smooth, sultry voice returns.

“You would, huh?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say. “I’d, um…I’d want to know you were enjoying yourself.”

“Trust me, I would definitely be enjoying myself,” she says with another lilting sigh.

There’s some more rustling on the line. Was she taking off her shirt? What did her bra look like? Is she even wearing a bra or are her breasts exposed now, pretty pert nipples hardening as she skates her free hand over them and down her abdomen and belly?

“Why don’t you tell me how you’d do it? What would you do to me if I was there?”

Okay, that is definitely the sound of her unzipping her jeans. Your heart races at the thought of one of the prettiest girls you’d ever seen touching herself to the idea of what you would do to her and you think you might combust on the spot.

“I’d…I’d wanna touch you all over…feel how soft you are…I’d wanna grab you by that ponytail and yank your head back so I could kiss your neck…”

“Oo-ooh! That’s right, baby. Show me who’s in charge.”

You chuckle bashfully, trying to keep your cool hearing the slick sounds of Chrissy’s fingers playing with herself. Your mind is still scrambling for what to say next when the sound of the front door opening catches your ear and your head jerks up to see Eddie returning home from work.

“Hey, baby,” he says, smiling brightly as he comes through the door and you practically gush all over the barstool just at the sight of him.

He’s still got his hair pulled back in a low bun, little curly tendrils framing his handsome face. He hasn’t changed out of his coveralls, but has the top unzipped and tugged down with the sleeves knotted around his waist to reveal the white tee he wears underneath. The material is smudged all over, stretched tight across his chest and around his biceps that flex as he plops down his bag and leans on the counter across from you. He smells like sweat and motor oil and the sex you had this morning that made him have to skip his shower so the smell of you clung to him all day long.

It takes him all of about five seconds to deduce what is going on. His eyes flit first to your face, biting down on your lip with your expression pained from how turned on you are. And then down to your thighs that press together as you squirm in your seat, desperate for some friction.

“Who ya talkin’ to?” he asks, his casual smile descending into one of pure filth.

“Ch-Chrissy,” you gasp. “She, uh, wanted to do something tonight.”

Eddie’s eyes are positively wolfish and the sight sends another jolt between your legs. He nods and motions for you to hand the phone to him. He holds it to his ear and stands tall over you, getting as close as he can so you can still faintly hear Chrissy’s voice over the receiver.

“Cunningham, you dog,” he chuckles darkly. “You getting my girl all worked up?”

“She’s getting me worked up,” Chrissy retorts with a tinkling laugh.

“Oh, I know she is,” Eddie says, tongue flicking over his lips to wet them. “I bet you’re touching yourself while you talk to her too. Aren’t you, you bad girl?”

Even as Eddie speaks to Chrissy, his eyes lock onto yours and you can tell this show he’s putting on, the words he’s saying in that deep growl he knows you love, is all for your benefit. He places his hand on your knee and gently guides your legs apart to stroke your inner thighs. His fingers roam freely, but decidedly swerve away from where you need him most and you have to grip the seat beneath you to stop yourself from dragging his hand straight into your heat.

“Ma-a-ybe,” Chrissy’s voice lilts, half-moaning her answer.  “Is she touching herself?

“No, not yet,” Eddie says, his fingers still inching their way up your thighs. “My sweet girl knows how to behave. Don’t you, baby?”

You whimper as you nod, even though part of you knows if Eddie had taken much longer to come home he might have found you in a much more compromising position. His fingers finally reach where you need him most and he sighs at the warmth and wetness he finds.

“Ohhhh…” he moans, the sound coming from deep in his chest as he swipes your panties to the side and nimbly begins to stroke and tease your entrance. “She’s dripping though.”

“You’re welcome,” Chrissy titters faintly. 

Your back arches in response to his words and his touch, thrusting yourself towards him, wordlessly begging for more. His fingertips sink inside, but remain decidedly in the shallows as he watches them, enraptured by his own movements as well as the way your slick coats them.

“Talk to Chrissy for me, baby,” he grunts. “I need to taste you right fucking now.”

Eddie grins as he passes the phone back to you and drops to his knees, spreading your legs apart so he can bury his face between them. It’s not often he jumps straight to the point like this. Sometimes he gets so wrapped up in the teasing and toying, you think he enjoys the lead up as much as the main event, if not a little more. But right now, his fervor can’t be delayed for one second as he flattens his tongue and licks a fat stripe directly through your center. 

You throw your head back and moan with abandon as his lips surround your clit and he sucks on the over-sensitized nerves. Your arm trembles from the effort of clutching your seat, one hand holding onto it for dear life as you press the phone against your cheek with the other.

Chrissy moans in response to your own that rang through over the line. You picture her laying on a plush bed piled high with blankets and pillows, her lithe body all twisted up in pleasure as she touches herself. For some reason, you imagine her under a gauzy canopy strung with fairy lights that cast her in their soft, radiant glow. The hot girls always had canopies over their beds when you were growing up. You wished you could smell her perfume and feel her lips on yours.

You bet she tastes like a piece of watermelon candy.

“I missed you, darling,” she says, breath stilted as her moan trails off. “Tell me how you feel. Is he touching you? Filling you up nice?”

“Y-yes, his…his tong—fuck…his tongue is…”

Words are already impossible when Eddie is going down on you so enthusiastically, and it’s made all the more difficult with Chrissy’s breathy voice in your ear, coaxing you towards your release.

“I wish I was there too, pretty girl. I wish I could lick you up like he is.”

Eddie jumps to his feet and you gasp at the movement and the loss of his mouth on you. Thankfully, you have just enough wherewithal to hold the phone away so you don’t squeal in Chrissy’s ear when he lifts you up and heads for the bedroom with you cradled in his arms. He doesn’t place you down so much as he throws you on the bed and you bounce slightly on the mattress before sinking into the extra thick down duvet he gave you for your last birthday.

His eyes are wild as they rake over you and he snatches the waistband of your panties to drag them fully down your legs. He flings them to the side and strips off his own shirt before frantically tugging down his coveralls, revealing his boxers that are stretched to their absolute limit.

You’ve had more than your fair share of energetic encounters with Eddie before, but there’s a fire lit within him this time pushing him to new heights. Part of you wonders if he likes having Chrissy as an audience—likes the thought of her listening to him draw every moan and whimper out of you; likes the thought of showing off his prowess, showing off you. Maybe you do too.

His mouth returns eagerly to your center and as he devours you like an animal, Chrissy hears your pleasure in pealing moans that fall from your lips.

“God, you sound so good,” she sighs. “I wanna hear more.”

Your mind is turning straight to mush from their combined efforts. You can’t even think about the noises you’re making, only the ones you hear coming through the phone or drifting up from between your legs. Eddie moans sinfully and you can feel the vibrations of it as well as the words he’s murmuring into your pussy about how hot you are. Distantly, you register a low buzzing on the other end of the line and when Chrissy speaks you can hear in her voice how close she is.

“Come for me, sweetness,” Chrissy moans. “Come for me and I’ll come for you.”

Eddie feels your reaction to her words as he fucks you with his tongue. He drags the tip back up to your clit and begins to flick it against the swollen bud. He fills you with his fingers, sliding them easily inside and curling them upwards in search of that sacred spot inside of you. 

Blinding white light fills your vision as he presses on your g-spot and your orgasm overtakes you rapidly—your entire body quivering, exploding all over. In your ear, you can hear Chrissy as she reaches her peak, her breathy moans echoing your own. Eddie remains buried between your legs as you ride out your high, still murmuring his endless praise that’s muffled by your cunt.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby, so fucking good. Jesus fucking Christ…”

Slowly, reluctantly, you return to earth.

The softness of the bed beneath you cradles your body that has gone slack with exhaustion. Eddie sits back on his calves as he surveys the results of his toil with a triumphant smile. There’s a sheen of sweat on his bare chest and his chin is glistening with your spend. He pulls the phone from your limp grasp and holds it up to his ear to talk to Chrissy as he gazes lovingly down at you. 

“You alive over there, Cummingham?”

He grins wide at his own joke, always his own best audience. You roll your eyes, but laugh too as you try to regain your breath. You’re too blissfully fucked out and he’s too far away for you to hear Chrissy’s response, but that fiery blaze returns to his eyes as he listens to whatever she is saying.

“Oh, I don’t think we’re even close to done yet,” Eddie chuckles.

You giggle softly and manage to shake your head to confirm his suspicions. He leans over you, dark curls falling forward as his bun comes loose and surrounding you in a curtain. And he speaks to her, his voice low and even, eyes burning into yours as he does.

“How about you get your ass over here and we see who can make my girl come the most?”

Part Three

[flyingfanatic]

Image transcription under the read more.

Dorothy Allison Her thighs I was thinking about Bobby, remembering her sitting, smoking, squint-eyed, and me looking down at the way her thighs shaped in her jeans. I have always loved women in blue jeans, worn jeans, worn particularly in that way that makes the inseam fray, and Bobby’s seams had that fine white sheen that only comes after long restless evening spent juggling one’s thighs one against the other, the other against the bar stool.

After a year as my sometimes lover, Bobby’s nerves were wearing as thin as her seams. she always seemed to be looking to the other women in the bar, checking out their eyes to see if in fact they thought her as pussy-whipped as she thought herself, for the way that she could not seem to finally settle me down to playing the wife I was supposed to be. Bobby was a wild-eyed woman, proud of her fame for running women ragged — all the women who had fallen in love with her and followed her around long after she had lost all interest in them. Hanging out at softball games on lazy spring afternoons, Bobby would look over at me tossing my head and talking to some other woman and grind her thighs together in impatience. The woman was as profoundly uncomfortable with my sexual desire as with my determined independence. But nothing so disturbed her as the idea other people could see both my lust and my independence in the way I tossed my hair, swung my hips, and would not always come when she called. Bobby believed lust was a trashy lower-class impulse, and she wanted so to be nothing like that. It meant the one tool she could have used to control me was the very one she could not let herself use.

Oh, Bobby loved to fuck me. Bobby loved to beat my ass, but it bothered her that we both enjoyed it so much. Early on in our relationship, she established a pattern of having me over for the evening and strictly enforcing a rule against sex outside the bedroom. Bobby wanted dinner — preferably Greek or Chinese takeout — and at least two hours of television. Then there had to be a bath, bath powder, and toothbrushing, though she knew I preferred her unbathed and gritty, tasting the tequila she sipped through dinner. I was not supposed to touch her until we entered the sanctuary of her bedroom, that bedroom lit only by the arc lamp in the alley outside. Only in that darkness could I bite and scratch and call her name. Only in that darkness would Bobby let herself open to passion.

Let me set the scene for you, me in my hunger for her great strong hands and perfect thighs, and her in her deliberate disregard. When feeling particularly cruel, Bobby would even insist on doing her full twenty minute workout while I lay on the bed tearing at the sheets with my nails. I was young, unsure of myself, and so I put up with it, sometimes even enjoyed it, though what I truly wanted was her in a rage, under spotlights in a stadium, fucking to the cadence of a lesbian rock-and-roll band.

But it was two years ago, and if I were too aggressive she wouldn’t let me touch her. So I waited, and watched her, and calculated. I’d start my efforts on the couch, finding excuses to play with her thighs. Rolling joints and reaching over to drop a few shreds on her lap, I scrambled for every leaf on her jeans.

“Don’t want to waste any,” I told her and licked my fingers to catch the fine grains that caught in her seams. I progressed to stroking her crotch. “For the grass,” I said, going on the her inseam, her knees, the backs of her thighs.

“Perhaps some slipped under here, honey. Let me see.”

I got her used to the feel of my hands legitimately wandering, while her eyes never left the TV screen. I got her used to the heat of my palms, the slight scent of the sweat on my upper lip, the firm pressure of my wrists sliding past her hips. It was as calculated as any woman who knows what she wants, but I cannot tell you what magic I used to finally get her to sit still for me going down on my knees and licking that denim.

It wasn’t through begging. Bobby recognized begging as a sexual practice, therefore to be discouraged outside the darkened bedroom. I didn’t wrestle her for it. That, too, was allowed only in the bedroom. Bobby was the perfect withholding butch, I tell you, so I played the perfect compromising femme. I think what finally got to her was the tears.

Keeping my hands on her, I stared at her thighs intently until she started that sawing motion — crossing and recrossing her legs. My impudence made her want to grab and shake me, but that, too, might have been sex, so she couldn’t. Bobby shifted and cleared her throat and watched me while I kept my mouth open slightly and stared intently at the exact spot where I wanted to put my tongue. My eyes were full of moisture. I imaged touching the denim above her labia with my lips. I saw it so clearly, her taste and texture were full in my mouth. I got wet and wetter. Bobby kept shifting on the couch. I felt my cheeks dampen and heard myself making soft moaning noises —  like a child in great hunger. That strong, dark musk odor rose between us, the smell that comes up from my cunt when I am swollen and wet from my clit to my asshole.

Bobby smelled it. She looked at my face, and her cheeks turned the brightest pink. I felt momentarily like a snake who has finally trapped a rabbit. Caught like that, on the living room couch, all her rules were momentarily suspended. Bobby held herself perfectly still, except for one moment when she put her blunt fingers on my left cheek. I leaned over and licked delicately at the seam on first the left and then the right inner thigh. Her couch was one of those swollen chintz monsters, and my nose would bump the fabric each time I moved from right to left. I kept bumping it, moving steadily, persistently, not touching her with any other part of my body except my tongue. Under her jeans, her muscles rippled and strained as if she were holding off a great response or reaching for one. I felt an extraordinary power. I had her. I knew absolutely that I was in control.

Oh, but it was control at a cost, of course, or I would be there still. I could hold her only by calculation, indirection, distraction. It was dear, that cost, and too dangerous. I had to keep a distance in my head, an icy control on my desire to lose control. I wanted to lay the whole length of my tongue on her, to dribble over my chin, to flatten my cheeks to that fabric and shake my head on her seams like a dog on a fine white bone. But that would have been too real, too raw. Bobby would never have sat still for that. I held her by the unreality of my hunger, my slow nibbling civilized tongue.

Oh, Bobby loved that part of it, like she loved her chintz sofa, the antique armoire with the fold-down shelf she used for a desk, the carefully balanced display of appropriate liquors she never touched — unlike the bottles on the kitchen shelves she emptied and replaced weekly. Bobby loved the aura of respectability, the possibility of finally being bourgeois, civilized, and respectable.

I was the uncivilized thing in Bobby’s life, reminding her of the taste of hunger, the remembered stink of her mother’s sweat, her own desire. I became sex for her. I held it in me, in the pulse of my thighs against hers when she finally grabbed me and dragged me off into the citadel of her bedroom. I held myself up, back and off her. I did what I had to do to get her, to get myself what we both wanted. But what a price we paid for what I did.

What I did.

What I was.

What I do.

What I am.

I paid a high price to become who I am. Her contempt, her terror, was the least of it. My contempt, my terror, took over my life, became the first things I felt when I looked at myself, until I became unable to see my true self at all. “You’re an animal” she used to say to me, in the dark with her teeth against my thigh, and I believed her, growled back at her, and swallowed all the poison she could pour into my soul.

Now I sit and think about Bobby’s thighs, her legs opening in the dark where no one could see, certainly not herself. My own legs opening. That was so long ago and far away, but not so far as she finally ran when she could not stand it anymore, when the lust I made her feel got too wild, too uncivilized, and too dangerous. Now I think about what I did.

What I did.

What I was.

What I do.

What I am.

“Sex,” I told her. “I will be sex for you.”

Never asked, “You. What will you be for me?”

Now I make sure to ask. I keep Bobby in mind when I stare at women’s thighs. I finger my seams, flash my teeth, and put it right out there.

“You. What will you let yourself be for me?

one of my favorite pieces about being a femme was by this one dyke who regularly enjoyed the company of a rough tough butch who had some sort of complex about having sex anywhere other than in their bedroom with all the lights off. and there was always this whole long ritual of stuff that had to take place before they could move to the bedroom— they had to eat dinner, they had to watch tv, they had to do the dishes— and it wasn’t so much about drawing out the moment as, we were dealing with someone who felt stigmatized about the appropriateness of having sex in the first place and therefore had to make sure that they had the most appropriate version of it every time they did. Which meant not rushing towards it like something you were really looking forward to, not skipping any of the steps, never turning on the lights, and to not under any circumstances allow yourself to be seduced into doing something inappropriate in an undesignated space like the living room couch. And our narrator saw that and understood that and immediately set about doing her best to make herself so incredibly and mindblowingly appealing that the butch would have no choice other than to break every single one of her self-imposed rules and jump her right then and there, lights on and living room couch and everything.

and it had the best photograph too, criminy, lemme find it

[queermediastudies]

Blue is the Warmest Color? More like, the male director fetishizes lesbians for 3 hours.

Blue is the Warmest Color" (2013) directed, screenwritten, and produced by Abdellatif Kechiche, is a french coming-of-age film about a 16-year-old girl named Adele and her journey through adolescence exploring her sexuality. She first meets her love interest Emma in passing. They walk by each other and make intense eye contact. Emma has her arms around another woman but still looks at Adele intensely. They truly meet for the first time at a gay bar. Emma is an older woman and comments on how people like Adele (underage) don't go into that bar very often. They end up going their separate ways but Emma gets the name of the high school Adele goes to. The next day Emma is waiting for Adele after school and then her friends start making homophobic comments to Adele. After this, a very passionate relationship starts between them.

This film goes through the years of them being together and they are together for a long time. Five years into the future their relationship becomes toxic. Emma has somewhat detached from Adele and seems to have become interested in another woman named Lise. This leads Adele to cheat on her with a male coworker. Emma finds out, slaps her and calls her whore, then kicks her out of their shared home. Three years later Emma and Adele meet up with each other. Emma reveals she has been in a relationship with Lise since she and Adele broke up and Adele reveals she still isn't over her. At the end of the film, Adele realizes that their relationship was doomed from the beginning because they're just too different and the film ends.

Blue is the Warmest Color was made to cater to the male gaze and to men who only support the lesbian community because they fetishize them. Most of the movie is explicit sex scenes between the two girls and the screenwriter/director/producer is a much older male. The main actress, Adele, was freshly 18 at the time of filming. This suggests that this movie is made only for the male gaze and made by someone that has no connection to the lesbian experience and wouldn’t understand what coming-of-age as a lesbian would be like. This film is created by a man who already places the male gaze into effect. All men are brought up, purposely by their parents or accidentally by society, to view women mainly as sexual things that are made for them to enjoy, and this is what this film comes down to. Kechiche handled the concepts of love and heartbreak very well and portrayed emotions very deeply but still, all that can be focused on is how sexualized both main characters are for the entire film. “The male gaze here as I said is not overwhelming or outrightly predatory, but it is there, in varying degrees of intrusion. It is out and out aestheticized, which makes it difficult to question ‘Blue is the Warmest Colour’s problematics” (Singh, Feminism in India, para. 5).

Men cannot understand the experience of a young, lesbian woman which is what Kechiche is claiming to understand by creating this film. He is a straight male and even though this film is based on a novel he took many creative and artistic liberties while making the movie. A male writer named Matthew Knott wrote about his feelings on this movie from his perspective as a man and he says "My problem is not with the very idea of male directors dissecting the female sexual experience on-camera... It is the fact that, without female voices in the picture, the discussion is left incomplete" (Knott, Indie Wire, para. 7). The director cannot create an accurate depiction of lesbian romance because he can't be in that position. Women are often excluded from the topic of their own sexuality because men feel as though they are in charge and understand it better than women could. This film is a prime example of that. He had no help from female writers and just made this film into basically a fetish film for men to watch. Many women online after the movie was released commented on how uncomfortable this movie was and that it felt "icky" and not like a genuine and pure love story. The sex scenes in this movie particularly seem very much like they were made to be porn. They don't blend with the beautiful scenery and filmography that is a part of the rest of the film. It seems sloppily thrown in. "There's a seven-minute-long sequence of hilariously advanced lesbian sex, jarringly out of step with the tone and the aesthetic of the rest of the film" (Hallett, The Stranger, para. 6). Even if Kechiche had good intentions, this just goes back to inherently how many men view women, and that is as sex objects.

As a queer person who identifies a lot with womanhood, this film felt gross to watch. There were definitely beautiful parts to it and the actors did wonderfully but I couldn't get it out of the back of my head that the sexual aspects were so dramatic and out of place. It sucks to see so many wlw films boil down to the sex scenes in them. It feels like sex is all women will ever be good for. Even if men are completely taken out of the picture, men will still have to find a way to inject themselves into women's lives.

References:

Hallett, A. (n.d.). Blue is the warmest color: The most controversial film about French lesbians you'll see All Year. The Stranger. Retrieved November 4, 2022, from https://www.thestranger.com/film/2013/11/20/18260624/art-and-controversy

Jorbin, A. (2013, November 1). 'blue is the warmest color' and the real problem with male filmmakers and female sexuality. IndieWire. Retrieved November 4, 2022, from https://www.indiewire.com/2013/11/blue-is-the-warmest-color-and-the-real-problem-with-male-filmmakers-and-female-sexuality-214825/amp/

Singh, S. (n.d.). Blue is the warmest colour: Abdellatif's male gaze ... - feminism in India. Retrieved November 5, 2022, from https://feminisminindia.com/2020/07/20/blue-is-the-warmest-colour-male-gaze-feminist-review/

[live-laugh-slay]

'Blue Is The Warmest Color' And The Effect It Has On Me (Spoilers)

Before I can talk about the film that shaped who I am today, I have to talk about where I'm at. I found myself stuck in an identity crisis at the ripe age of seven. I was different than the other boys at school. I didn't like sports. I walked differently. I talked differently. My friends were all girls. I spiraled between being gay and bisexual. Afterall, I still liked girls. I never had a REAL crush on a guy. I spent years of my life believing I was bisexual. I met my best friend, who I admittedly forced myself to have a crush on at first. I realized she wanted me as a friend and that's what I wanted too. She introduced me to the boy who made me realize I was gay. The boy I still like as I'm writing this. Now that you know that here's the effect the film 'Blue Is The Warmest Color' has on me.

The film starts out with Adele being lost with herself. She's a confused high school girl going through those high school feels. Her classmates are bored out of their minds to the subject of 'The Life Of Marianne' (the book they read in class) Adele is amazed by the book and finds it to be brilliant. Adele is a character we all may be or at least see. She's a kindhearted girl who can't seem to figure out who she is. She ends up going on a date with a guy her friend's think she likes (and maybe she did like him) While walking to the date, Adele sees the blue haired light that is Emma. Adele is immediately in love with Emma. The beautiful blue hair shines in the grey world she seems to be stuck in.

After nearly getting hit by a car, Adele goes on her date. It goes well. Adele, trying to convince to her friends (but more herself) that she's straight, sleeps with him. The sex isn't as good as Adele clearly lets on. She ends up breaking up with the guy but feels equal emotions as he does.

In sadness, Adele is brought out with her best friend. He brings her to a gay bar. She feels out of place, so she sneaks out into a lesbian bar. There, she sees blue. Emma and she make small conversation that is rudely cut off by Emma's friends. Before Emma leaves though, she asks Adele what school she goes to.

The next day, Adele sees Emma waiting for her. With sideways glances from her classmates, Adele follows Emma. Emma makes a portrait of Adele. She's a very gifted artist, good at people.

Adele is scrutinized by her friends for going off with Emma. They call her slurs and mock her.

At this point, it's time for me to address the elephant in the room. The sex scenes. I actually despise them. The only one I don't skip on my rewatches is the last. It has a reason to be in the film, as it leads into a heart renching and adorable conversation. But the nine-minute-long scene is truly unneeded and dampens the film for me just a tad. It's still one of my favorites though.

After the sex scene Adele goes to a pride parade with Emma and meets her parents that night. Adele feels welcome with her parents. She's not out to her parent's yet, so she feels at home.

The scene I'm about to discuss may be my favorite of all time. It's the birthday party scene. Adele's eighteenth birthday is celebrated by her parents and her REAL friends. It's a beautiful scene. Adele dances with her friends to one of my favorite songs 'I Follow Rivers.' That's another thing about this film, the soundtrack is amazing.

The second part of the film is what I love about it. It's truly what cements the film as one of my favorites. It's about letting go and realizing love's growing pains. Love is a beautiful thing, but what about when it ends? Adele and Emma's relationship eventually comes to a violent end after Adele (and maybe Emma) cheats. Emma has been spending a lot of time with a co-artist. Adele feels alone. At this point they've been together for years. Adele only wants to be with Emma, which makes her feel lonely when without her.

We see Adele struggle to get over Emma. She follows her dreams and becomes a teacher, a good one at that. But the breakup makes it hard to keep a happy face on. Adele goes through many phases of grief. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression (realization), testing (calling Emma to see her), and acceptance. Acceptance being the scene where she walks away from Emma's art show.

Adele is a character I relate to in every way. She's confused, scared, and at the end of the day a good person. She has problems that not many people around her go through, which scares her. She loves Emma, but she expected Emma to love her forever. I'm an emotional wreck watching the film. I tell my friends about how this film affected me nearly daily. It left me in dishevels. I put myself back together and went to bed, depressed, but proud that I found a film that truly affected me... FINALLY. The film casts a spell on me. A spell of love and immersion. At the end of the film, you feel just as in love with Emma as Adele was. Which makes the ending even sadder.

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

[littlewetbeast]

so this is coming from your tags on a post about s8 and 9. as someone who only joined the fandom after nov 5, I'm always curious about what the fandom was like when the show was airing. can you talk about that a little bit more? maybe elaborate on your tags? thanks a lot <3

i can only really tell you what it was like from my perspective back in the day, and what i can say is that there was SO. MUCH. HYPE. when season 8 was coming out. people were pointing to the source material and going, wait! that shit isn’t just a gay sex joke, that shit is like - textual romance! and that’s what made people begin to argue that this time, it wasn’t bait, but a narrative that they surely wouldn’t drop the ball on. of course, now, in hindsight, we all know spn is the baitiest of bait and supreme trashfire, but at the time it truly did seem like things were headed in a new direction - and we had the textual evidence to back us up on that. i mean, i was there watching it all live throughout season 6, 7 and 8 - most of my close friends watched it, and the destiel tumblr community was on fire by the time season 8 rolled around. i wish i could find some of the old meta posts, but essentially, season 8 truly got so many people thinking that this time, the tides were changing. charlie and kevin were now part of the main cast, and there was undoubtable intent in season 8, not just from cas' side, but from dean's as well. people went bonkers over the aaron scene. this was a time where queerbaiting was at a an all-time high amongst so many popular tv shows, but there was simply no one that went the length that supernatural did. and it wasn’t just the undoubtably gay shit - it was the introduction of kevin and charlie, that incremental effort to include more characters outside of a white, male cast, which bolstered the argument that spn was finally headed in a new direction. i mean, they’d done the same shit over and over for years, surely this was a sign that they knew they had to switch things up. i remember being so genuinely hyped, along with my other queer friends, because we started to believe that perhaps spn truly was going to follow through on this. it was literally all there, in the text! one of dean’s closest friends was a lesbian. dean was in a love triangle with two men. dean got romantically flustered when a gay guy hit on him. dean hallucinated cas and altered his memory to cope with him leaving. dean was on his knees telling cas he needed him, and it broke the connection. there was just so much. anyway. having had that experience, the unfolding of spn’s ending and cas’ confession literally felt like a ‘classic spn’ moment for so many of us. we’d already been burned before by having the naïve expectation that spn could... you know, actually be normal about queer people, and write fulfilling narratives for them. throughout season 9 through 10, a huge amount of things that season 8 set up were undone - kevin was killed, charlie was killed, cas and dean were separated and no homo-ed repeatedly. there wasn’t an outrage that i could see on my dash, but myself and all my close friends just... stopped watching. there were crickets on my dash, maybe a few gifs here and there. the interest completely plummeted. there was a silent deflation and quiet acceptance from those of us that had actually gotten our hopes up that spn really was that show. when i discovered they’d killed off both kevin and charlie, that cemented the knowledge that supernatural was never going to give us what we wanted. i can’t even fully describe how fundamentally that experience changed me, but my attitude towards media and queer representation was completely altered as a result. spn has refused to move with the times, but they had already demonstrated before that they were never going to make that leap. they were in the stranglehold of the network, and the desire to retain their conservative viewership overrode every attempt to move beyond the gun-slinging sam-and-dean bro show.  so yeah, in the end, i have such sympathy for newer fans that got burned so badly by the finale, but as an older fan, i looked at it as it was all unfolding and just went - yup, been there, done that. it’s a classic spn move. i stopped giving credit to those who were throwing out crumbs of representation, when what we actually deserve is to feast. anyway, in summary, spn has expertly burned its queer fanbase for almost a decade. in response, i reject many parts of the canon and simply enjoy the fanon content, because it’s stupid and i do what i want. 

[elsanna-shenanigans]

February Contest Submission #8: La Petite Mort

Words: ca. 4,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: Lemon Content: definitely rated M, kristanna, past megelsa, cheating, guided m4sturbati0n, Anna maybe has a drinking problem (maybe she has a bunch of problems) Song: La Petite Mort by Coeur de Pirate

===

"Never?!" Anna exclaims, as Elsa takes a long sip of her piña colada to hide her embarrassment.

"I mean, it's not that uncommon, right?" Elsa responds when she's recovered. "I read online somewhere that over ten percent of women haven't."

"Yeah, but, like, those are probably women with husbands who don't know a vulva from an areola, and you're, well, you!" For emphasis, Anna gestures in Elsa's direction. Her long blonde hair is down for once, Instagram-perfect wavy curls cascading over her shoulders, and her strapless silver dress glitters in the low mood lighting of the local bar.

Elsa blushes. "Thanks, but I'm not sure what my physical attractiveness has to do with the functioning or non-functioning of my anatomy? God, are we really talking about this? I haven't seen you since your graduation and we're somehow talking about my sex life."

"I blame the tequila," Anna says, and downs the remnants of her margarita in one gulp. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to?"

"No its just—I mean, we're both adults now, right? It's fine."

There's a pause while Elsa adjusts the fit of her dress, and Anna takes advantage of the moment to stuff her face with some nachos (noting that Elsa has deftly avoided all of the jalapeños on her side of the basket).

"Wait," Anna starts again, before she's even finished chewing, "So all that time with Meg you never, she never—"

Elsa shakes her head.

"But you two were all over each other! I thought you were gonna be a forever thing, honestly."

"She was all over me. I was just doing my best to try to keep up!" Elsa laughs about it at first, and then lets out a long sigh. "It's actually part of why we broke up. She took it as a personal failing on her part, and then when none of the ahem things we tried, well, worked, she started thinking that maybe I didn't love her back as much as she thought."

"Oh jeez, I had no idea. That sucks, Els, I'm so sorry."

"It's probably for the best, right? We had some good times. It's not like the things we did weren't fun."

Anna finds herself blushing, and when her brain starts to conjure up images of what her sister and Meg might have got up to, she deftly changes the topic to Elsa's impressions of Seattle now that she's moved up to the city. They spend the rest of the night catching up on the past few years spent apart, and Anna tries to forget the whole conversation

===

But there's something about the little revelation that Anna can't let go.

Somehow it feels like an injustice; Elsa has been through so much, and come out of it as such an amazing and beautiful person, that for her to be denied this one specific thing just felt wrong. Anna knows it's a weird thing for her to fixate on, and it's not like her own sex life is much better. Kristoff can't get her there on his own without help from a little vibrating friend (or sometimes two), but that's not abnormal really? And he doesn't take it as a hit to his ego or anything, so that's nice. She chuckles to herself when, in reminiscing, she realizes that the last person to truly dazzle her in that way had been Aurora, during that phase of hers in college.

Which is how, on a night when Kristoff is out late with the guys, Anna finds herself in bed watching (bad) lesbian porn on her laptop, bottle of wine on the nightstand, while thinking about how to help her sister have an orgasm. She wonders again about what exactly Meg and Elsa tried together, and her mind dutifully conjures their faces onto the actresses in the video. The scene shifts into higher gear and Anna frowns, frustrated with how fake it all seems. Elsa wouldn't sound like that, she thinks. And so she starts searching, and clicking links, and clicking links which, in retrospect, she knows she should not have clicked, trying to find something that she thinks Elsa would like.

She doesn't remember falling asleep. That, on its own, isn't a horrible sign, but when she cracks an eye open the next morning, there's no wine bottle on the nightstand, which means Kristoff must have cleaned up for her. She sits up, struggling against a burgeoning hangover headache. Kristoff is standing at the mirror near the bathroom door, adjusting his tie.

"Had a bit of a girls night of your own, eh?" he teases, a giant smirk on his face.

Anna feels herself turn bright red. "I blame the wine," she says, as if that explains everything.

He gives her a kiss on the cheek and an I love you (which she returns) and heads off to work without hassling her further.

Which is when she picks up her phone and realizes the real trouble she's gotten herself into: seven unread messages from Elsa.

Elsa: um, did you mean to send these to kristoff?

Elsa: 🤣🤣🤣

Elsa: or maybe someone else? (sorry I clicked one)

Elsa: you're drunk arent you

Elsa: meg actually made me watch that last one with her

Elsa: you can imagine how embarrassing it was 😳😳

Elsa: i'll just pretend I don't know Kristoff is into that 😅

There's a slow creeping horror when she swipes up in the chat history and realizes she sent Elsa links. Links to porn. She hesitates to click the one Elsa mentioned, but ends up doing it anyway, and immediately chucks her phone toward the other end of the bed.

Horny Stepsisters - Blonde/Redhead Part 1

Anna spends the next half hour burying her head under her pillow before she manages to work up the courage to send Elsa a slew of apology messages.

She doesn't make it 24 hours before searching for 'Part 2

===

Anna spends the better part of a week dodging her sister's requests to hang out, before finally relenting when Elsa suggests a day hike to the nearby mountains. It's just such a classic Pacific Northwest activity, and she figures the great outdoors will help alleviate the lingering embarrassment of the Porn Link Incident. Elsa picks her up early Saturday morning in her Subaru, and they head south toward Mount Rainier. Seeing the snow-capped mountain up close always brings a smile to her face, and for a time she feels like maybe she can put the whole thing behind her.

Elsa springs the trap on her when they stop for lunch after several hours of enjoying a gorgeous and sunny fall day.

"Those links you sent me weren't for Kristoff were they?"

Anna's face is stuffed full of turkey sandwich at the moment, which is certainly not coincidental timing on Elsa's part. Now there's no way she can stammer out a pathetic excuse before her cheeks turn pink and give her away.

"In my defense, yes I was a bit drunk," Anna manages to get out, after forcing herself to chew and swallow her food. "And Kristoff had left me all alone for the night."

Elsa is perched up on a rather large rock, having already finished her light meal of two granola bars and an apple. Her skin is glistening with a light sheen of sweat from the hike so far, but she doesn't look at all upset with Anna. More like, curious?

"Because you wanted to help... solve my problem?"

Anna nods. There's no point denying that now. "I know it's not my business. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea."

"Meg also tried the porn thing. Didn't work, obviously." Elsa hops off the rock and moves to sit next to Anna on the log she's been using as a bench.

"I just thought maybe they'd give you... ideas? I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

"Yeah, Meg had ideas too." Elsa laughs. "I didn't expect you to send me the stepsisters video though."

"Listen, it was late at night and I—you're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"I guess I'm just trying to figure out why you're so invested in this?"

"I don't know," Anna admits, because she really doesn't. "It just seems like something I should help you with."

"Okay but... why you?"

"Well, I mean, you haven't dated anyone since Meg, so who else is going to?"

"I'm not sure the answer to that question should be my little sister."

This makes Anna blush again, so she distracts herself by taking another bite of her sandwich. She knows she should let this go, should drop the whole thing and move on. But she can't.

"Would it really be so bad, if I help?"

Elsa narrows her eyes at her. "You're serious."

"Think about it, with Meg there was probably all this pressure, because you two were in a relationship, and that puts all these expectations on it, right? But with me you wouldn't have that. It would just be me... helping."

"Helping how exactly?"

"Not like, you know. Just, helping you figure it out, for yourself."

"That doesn't sound terrible, I guess."

"Well I would hope it's not terrible!" Anna exclaims, finally finding the humor in the situation again. "It's supposed to make you feel really good!"

"That's what I'm worried about," Elsa replies cryptically, before standing and starting to gather her things so they can continue their hike. "I'll think about it, okay?"

"Sure," Anna agrees. "No pressure, I mean it. That would be weird."

Elsa just rolls her eyes.

===

Yes

The word just sits there on the chat app on Anna's phone, taunting her. Elsa didn't need to think about it very long, apparently, and Anna has this knot in her stomach as she realizes what she's gotten herself into. She takes a sip of her morning coffee to settle her nerves, then types out a response:

Anna: okay Anna: um, what's the plan?

Elsa responds immediately.

Elsa: you're the one helping me! so the plan is all you babe

Anna ignores the way the word babe makes her stomach do a little flip.

Anna: okay, but when? where?

Elsa: uhhh probably we should do my place?

Elsa: we could do tonight if you're not already busy with your boytoy

She glances up at Kristoff, who is currently busy scrambling some eggs for Sunday's breakfast.

Anna: i'll be there. 8pm

After breakfast, she drags Kristoff back into their bedroom.

===

Anna does a shot of tequila while she's waiting for her ride to show up, and then another when the first one fails to have much effect. She gives Kristoff a kiss goodbye on his cheek when the driver finally arrives, but he's already lost in the new video game she just bought for him that afternoon, only managing a quick I love you in response, without actually taking his eyes off the screen.

The trip to Elsa's place is a quick one, and the tequila finally starts to kick in by the time Elsa greets her at the door with a quick kiss kiss on either cheek.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Elsa asks as she heads for the kitchen while Anna ditches her coat and shoes. "There's cider in the fridge, or you can help me with this wine."

"I, um, pregamed already." She joins Elsa in the kitchen, sets her purse down on the counter while Elsa pours herself some of the aforementioned wine. "Probably not a good idea for me to get wasted for something like this. Wouldn't want to do anything truly stupid."

Elsa eyes her over her glass of wine. "No, we wouldn't want that."

"So should we uh, get started?"

"I'm ready if you're ready." Elsa downs the remaining wine in her glass in one gulp. "What's the plan, Miss Teacher?"

"Oh god, please don't call me that! I'm not an expert or anything, just a, uh, concerned party. But, um, I was thinking we would start with you, just, showing me what you do? And I can give you some pointers, and um, maybe show you what I do?"

Elsa gives her a look. "That's it?"

"It's a starting point! I have to know what I'm working with, you know? And besides, I figure if I know what works for me, our bodies are probably pretty similar, right? That's something Meg never had."

"Okay, that's a good point. Sorry for doubting you."

Elsa looks a bit dejected suddenly, so Anna steps forward and touches her shoulder. "It's okay, really. This is going to be awkward no matter what. We just have to push through that. So, um, maybe you can show me where the bedroom is?"

That seems to do the trick, because Elsa's face brightens immediately. "Yeah. C'mon, it's upstairs." And she takes Anna by the hand and leads her away.

Elsa's bedroom is both new and yet somehow familiar. Her aesthetic is still the same as when they were teenagers, all white furniture and pastel blue bed sheets. Everything about is so Elsa, something that is regrettably no longer true about herself and her own (shared) bedroom.

Elsa lets her hand go and plops down on the edge of the bed, looking both nervous and excited. "So, uh, how should we start? Normally this is when I'd be furiously tearing someone's clothes off while making out."

"That's probably not a good idea either," Anna manages to squeak out while suddenly contending with the idea of making out with her sister. "But you're at least going to have to get down to your underwear."

"Okay, right." Elsa takes a deep breath, and then pulls her t-shirt off in one fluid motion and tosses it at Anna's face.

"Hey!" Anna exclaims, but Elsa just responds by sticking her tongue out at her, and then proceeds to scoot her ass out of her black skinny jeans, though this time she does not toss them at Anna's head.

It's been a long time since Anna's seen her sister this undressed, and she can't help but admire the way that Elsa's curves have filled out over the years. She's wearing a white lace bra which is doing wonders for her cleavage, and matching white lace panties which only accentuate the way her hips curve out on the way to her thighs.

You look great, is what she means to say, but as the tequila from earlier continues to take effect, what actually comes out is: "Wow you're hot."

Elsa blushes briefly as she scoots around on the bed until she's resting against the pillows and the headboard. "Okay, your turn!"

"Wait, what? Why do I have to get undressed?"

"Fair is fair! Besides you said you might have to show me a thing or two later."

"Alright, fine," Anna concedes, and proceeds to take off her own attire of tank top and yoga pants, only to find Elsa struggling to hold back from giggling. "What? Is there something funny about this now?"

"Sorry, it's just—well, we're both wearing the same color underwear as the girls in the stepsisters video."

Anna glances down at her own bright teal bra and panties. "Oh god, you're right. Well, Mom always did say it was my best color."

"Yeah, well, she's right about that! You look great, by the way. Love all your freckles."

Being complimented fills Anna with a new feeling of confidence. "What was that line from the video?" She does her best to act sultry as she crawls on to the bed on her hands and knees. "Hey sis, I heard you need help with your sex ed homework."

Anna knows they're just play-acting, but there's something captivating about the look Elsa gives her in return.

"Yeah, I'm having trouble with this one exercise... it starts with an M?"

Elsa's voice sounds like honey, so Anna keeps going: "Oh, I think I know how to help you with that," she says, as she presses forward toward Elsa, unsure which one of them will blink first.

It turns out to be both of them, as the two women erupt in laughter and giggles, just inches short of beginning to play out the next part of the video. Elsa is still laughing into one of her pillows while Anna tries to catch her breath again while lying partially on top of Elsa's legs.

"You really had me going there, Anna. Wasn't sure you were going to stop."

"Not sure I was either." With that Anna sits up again. "You know, it's not too late. We can still stop before this gets any weirder."

Elsa pulls her head out from behind her pillow. "Do you really think you can help me with my problem?"

"I want to try."

"If you're still in then I'm still in. So, no, I don't want to stop."

Anna suddenly realizes what that look was in Elsa's eyes before. "Oh my god, you're horny!"

"Well that's kinda the goal isn't it!" Elsa objects.

"Yeah, but it was the stepsisters thing that got you going, wasn't it?"

"So what if it was! It's not my fault if a hot girl suddenly climbs on my bed and starts to seduce me."

"You think I'm hot?"

Elsa's response to that is to throw her pillow at Anna's head. "Yes, you're hot damn it! I'm your sister but I'm not blind."

"Hot enough to want to start masturbating?" Anna asks with a wink.

"Anna, you're making this weird!"

"I'm just trying to get things started! How about this," she says, as she re-positions herself so that she's lying sideways across the foot of the bed and adopts her best sexy pose, head propped up on one elbow, one leg crossed over the other for maximum appeal. "Does this help?"

"I'm going to hell," Elsa mumbles, before sitting up with her back against the headboard again. Then, slowly, and with Anna's eyes all over her, she spreads her knees apart and slips her left hand into her panties and starts going at it.

And Anna finds it mesmerizing. She's never seen Elsa like this before; she's studiously avoiding making eye contact, but Anna can feel it when Elsa's eyes roam over her body, and the sense of power it gives her is intoxicating. She wishes she could feel like this all the time. There's just one problem.

"Jesus, Elsa, you can't just go HAM on your lady parts like that and expect an orgasm to pop out!"

"Why not?" Elsa whines in frustration.

"Didn't you and Meg ever do foreplay? Your body needs to warm up for this kinda thing. It's not actually a button you can just push, you know?"

"Well, yeah, we did foreplay, though Meg was not the most patient type, to be honest. I just didn't think that was necessary for masturbating? Why go through all the trouble?"

Anna literally facepalms. "Wow, you really have no idea what you're doing here, do you? Okay, here's your first tip: take your bra off."

Now it's Elsa's turn to play coy. "If you wanted to see my tits you could have just asked."

"Haha, very funny. I mean it though, you need to get your whole body into this."

Elsa shrugs in resignation, and then reaches behind her back with her hands and undoes the clasp of her bra. A short moment later, Anna finds herself staring at her sister's boobs.

Her really nice boobs.

"Elsa, you have really nice boobs."

"I'm glad you appreciate them I guess! So, what am I supposed to do, just fondle myself?"

"Do you need me to demonstrate so you can get back in the mood?"

"I'm really going straight to hell," Elsa grumbles. "Um, yes, go for it?"

Anna smirks, and then swiftly undoes her own bra and tosses it at Elsa's face.

"Brat."

"You like it."

"Your boobs are really nice too, if we're being honest."

Anna sits back on her knees, supporting herself with her left hand while starting to feel herself up with her right hand. "They're nice to touch, too. Why don't you try it?"

This time Elsa doesn't make a fuss before complying, and Anna has to admit she's enjoying the show, even as she continues touching herself. It's not long before Elsa's free hand is back between her legs, though this time the motions are slower, lighter. Matching pace with Anna's own ministrations.

"That's it, nice and slow. Take your time, okay?"

Elsa nods but doesn't say anything. Anna can tell she's really starting to get into it; the panting, the way she's biting her lip, the little sounds that she keeps holding back. It's the hottest thing she's seen in who knows how long? And god she wants to touch herself too, but she can't. Because this is about Elsa and not about her.

Anna manages to keep up her role as sexy eye-candy for about ten minutes before Elsa suddenly rolls onto her side and smacks at her pillows in frustration.

"Fuck!" she shouts, and Anna moves quickly up the bed to assess the situation.

"Hey, what's wrong? You were doing so well!"

Elsa grunts into the pillow and smacks it again for good measure before rolling onto her back. She looks up at Anna with eyes shining with the remnants of tears being held back by sheer frustration.

"I was! I felt like I was so close, but I just... it's like there's this barrier that I just can't push through and I don't know what to do! I just don't know what my body wants, but the stubborn bitch won't tell me."

"It's okay, Els. It takes time honestly, you just have to keep at it, keep experimenting." Anna runs a hand along Elsa's cheek where a lone tear has managed to escape, swiping it away into nothingness. "But, um, there's one more thing I'd be willing to try with you. If you still want to."

"Like what exactly?"

"Well, it's like I said downstairs. You're having trouble because you don't know what your body wants, but I do know what my body wants, and there's a decent chance it's the same thing? So, I could like, guide you. More directly."

When Elsa's eyes immediately go wide, Anna rushes to clarify: "Not like, doing it for you! Just, guiding you. With my hands."

Elsa spends several moments just gazing up at Anna before responding. "You really don't have to do this, Anna. It's not your fault I'm messed up."

"You're not broken—"

"I don't mean that. I mean—you know, the other thing."

"Oh. Well yeah, that was a surprise. And honestly flattering. But you're not the only one of us who's turned on right now, if you can't tell?"

Elsa just stuffs her face into her pillow while repeating the words fuck and hell over and over for the next minute. Then: "Okay. I guess we're both going to hell, but okay. Where do you want me?"

Anna scoots back on the bed a bit until she's in the position Elsa was in previously: back against the remaining pillows and headboard, with her legs spread to create space in front of her. "You can sit right here, in front of me, so I can show you what to do from my perspective."

Elsa gives her a questioning look before propping herself up and moving into the proscribed position. Anna lets out a little squeak when she scooches back into place, not having accounted for the part where her bare breasts are now pressed up against the warm skin of Elsa's naked back. And there's no way Elsa can't tell how her body is naturally, physically reacting to the new situation, but at this point she just has to press on.

"Okay, one last thing. You need to take your panties off." Elsa starts to object but Anna cuts her off, "If this is going to work, you're going to need to relax and let go, and that's not going to work if we're trying to cram both our hands down there."

"I really hope this is worth it," Elsa mutters, and then hoists her butt off the mattress for a brief moment as she slides her panties down over her hips and down her legs before flinging them into the corner of the room.

"Okay, now you'll just do what you were doing before, but with my hand on top," Anna instructs, words whispered against Elsa's neck as she reaches her hand around her waist in offering. Elsa does as she's told, guiding their superimposed hands into the position, but doesn't actually, well, start.

Anna squirms around a bit on the bed so that she can speak into Elsa's ear instead of her neck and the accompanying mouthful of blonde hair. "You're doing great, Elsa. Just go slow. I'll pick up on your rhythm and then guide you, okay?"

Elsa doesn't answer, but she does start moving her hand.

It's at this point that Anna realizes how unbelievably turned on she is. In retrospect, she's basically been edging for the past hour, and now she's got this utterly gorgeous and very naked woman quite literally in the palm of her hand. This close to Elsa she can hear every little pant, squeak, and moan; it's all she can do to resist the urge to plant her lips on Elsa's shoulder or whisper something like good girl in her ear. So she says it out loud instead.

"Good girl. Now let me drive."

And just like that, Elsa lets her take control. She doesn't even have to be touching her directly to feel the effects of her motions. The way Elsa's breath cuts short when Anna moves her hand like this, or the way her hips squirm when Anna moves her hand like that, is all the feedback she needs. And like she told Elsa to do earlier, she takes her time. She builds Elsa up with a breakneck pace, only to let her cool down for several minutes until Elsa whispers more in a pleading tone that Anna can't resist.

After one cycle, Elsa grabs onto Anna's free hand and holds fast. After three cycles, Elsa's moves her own hand to her chest and Anna's follows suit, guiding that motion now too. After five cycles, Elsa starts cursing; just mutterings to herself at first, then rising into a chorus of fuck fuck fuck as Anna shortens the cooldowns and extends the build up, brings her closer to the edge because she knows where it is but doesn't want this feeling, this power to end.

She starts to think hell might not be so bad if Elsa is down there with her.

"Anna, please," Elsa begs, and the dam breaks.

She plants her lips on Elsa's shoulder as she carries her over the edge, kicking and screaming, cursing and praising Anna with alternating breaths. Elsa is literally shaking in her grasp, the grip of Anna's embrace being the only thing keeping her from collapsing into a puddle. It's only when the last wave crests that Anna eases off, cooling her down one final time with whispered praise and gentle caresses until Elsa actually does melt in her arms.

When she thinks Elsa might have actually recovered enough to speak, she asks, "So how was it?"

And Elsa's answer is to twist around in their embrace so that she's facing Anna and press their lips together.

Anna's head swims. She feels like she can't breathe, though that's at least partially because Elsa's tongue is now in her mouth. And then it's because her tongue is in Elsa's mouth. Her vision starts to turn that sparkly grey like she's about to pass out, which is strange because her eyes aren't even open. She's lost in Elsa's kiss for an indeterminable amount of time. It's only when her body actually registers that Elsa's hands are pulling at the sides of her underwear that she finally realizes with startling clarity that the line has most definitely been crossed.

Reality snaps back into focus with the force of a sledgehammer. She pushes Elsa away with strength that she immediately regrets, clambering off the bed in search of her discarded clothes.

"Oh fuck—Anna, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—"

Anna tunes her out. Whatever Elsa's saying, she doesn't have the mental bandwidth to process it right now. She needs to go.

When she manages to get her clothes mostly back on, sans bra which is probably lost somewhere in the bed sheets, she turns back to Elsa, who seems like she's just short of having a panic attack. That's not an acceptable outcome either, so Anna forces herself to sit at the edge of the bed, manages to get a hand on the side of Elsa's face so she can speak to her and know Elsa will hear her.

"It's not your fault, okay? I promise," Anna assures her, not entirely sure of the truth of those words.

"Please don't go."

"I can't stay."

Elsa crumples on the bed, tears streaming into her pillows.

Anna finds her way back downstairs in the dark, grabs her purse from the kitchen, puts on her coat and shoes at the door, and heads out into the night.

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer

Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!

It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April

I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.  

This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back. 

So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from. 

So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.

So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim. 

I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!

So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out. 

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.

So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”

So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs. 

I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before. 

But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...

One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did. 

But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?

Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh. 

So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur​ pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling. 

But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get  a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought. 

Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)

This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still. 

So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming. 

But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit. 

So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that. 

Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up. 

For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug  and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way

At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now. 

So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast. 

Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of 

He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph. 

Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume. 

So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her

It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it. 

So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh. 

He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.

In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place.  While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles. 

But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again. 

The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason. 

So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends. 

We also get this exchange. 

I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of 

Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing. 

Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord. 

Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into  a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.

Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time. 

So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem. 

Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy. 

At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona. 

The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible. 

So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim. 

Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling. 

Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.  

Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable. 

So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.

But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed. 

Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it. 

So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now. 

We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her. 

Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you. 

He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...

Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head. 

And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...

Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...

Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!” 

She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love. 

I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....

So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her. 

Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.

One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...

 Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger. 

Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall. 

And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot

Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever. 

So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last. 

They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high. 

Final Thoughts:

Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding. 

There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do. 

But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes. 

And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa. 

Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright. 

All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through

Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad. 

Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow. 

[bourbonbees]

Suptober Day 6- Cemetery Boys

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34336042

Rating- G Jack POV

Jack has discovered there are a great deal of things that he loves about being human, he loves eating cake, taking his dog for walks, and swimming, but there’s nothing he loves more than his family. His family is not conventional, he’s got three dads, one of which is an angel, but all of them love him unconditionally. It’s rocky at first with Dean but after some quality time spent listening to Zep and going fishing together, the grumpy hunter warms up to him. It also doesn’t hurt that Jack’s first dad, Castiel, is also Dean’s partner and therefore holds a lot of sway over him, whether he likes it or not. Sam, his third dad was the best! He’s the one that establishes family movie night, Jack’s favorite night of the week!

Sam lets Jack pick the movies pretty much every week, much to Dean’s dismay. This week Jack chooses Ghostbusters as his pick. It’s great, he especially loves the jokes and the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man. He isn’t sure where the writers did their research for the movie though, his experiences with ghosts contain a lot less whimsy and a lot more salting and burning. The movie is just wrapping up when it hits him, they don’t have a name, every great team of heroes has a name.

“Hey, why don’t we have a name?” Jack poses the question, looking to Dean for a response.

“Kid, how much candy have you had? Are you sugar crashing? Remember, me Dean, you Jack, that annoying guy over there, Sam, this adorable ray of sunshine, Castiel.” Dean is concerned, he feels Jack’s forehead and looks him over, his parental instincts kicking in.

“No like a team name! Like there’s The Avengers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, uh The Fellowship of the Ring.” Jack lists off, Sam sending him a proud smile at the last one.

“Jack, hunters don’t really do teams. We’re kinda solitary, it’s our nature.” Sam explains, causing Jack even further confusion as he looks around at his family. They do everything together, live together, celebrate wins together, spend holidays together, work together, is that not a team?

“We’re not a team? Isn’t a family a team?” Jack frowns, worrying that he’s misread a long series of social cues. He is prone to that sometimes, his brain working a bit differently from his dads, neurodivergent, that’s what Sam had called it.

“Jack, oh, of course we’re a team. But more than that, we’re family.” Cas swoops in, reaching over and patting Jack on the shoulder. Cas is always the gentlest of his dads, he gives really good hugs, and is the one Jack goes to on the days where being a human is too much to deal with.

“Would it make you feel better if we had a team name?” Dean offers, following Cas’ lead. Jack doesn’t miss when Cas sends Dean a small nod of approval. Dean has a different parenting approach, sometimes he’s a bit harder on Jack. Jack doesn’t like that but he understands that Dean is trying.

“Yeah, I was thinking Cemetery Boys!” Jack says right away, looking around the room expectantly. Sam chokes slightly on his beer while Cas smiles approvingly, Dean laughs softly, shaking his head at Jack.

“Well we do spend a disproportionate amount of time in cemeteries, so it makes sense to me.” Jack defends, his cheeks feeling hot, blushing, that’s what Sam had told him it was. Sometimes Jack hates being human, blushing is embarrassing and makes him feel a bit like a baby.

“Shouldn’t we be cemetery men?” Dean questions, raising a quizzical brow at Jack.

“Technically speaking, Jack and myself are neither male nor female. So, no.” Cas supplies, shrugging his shoulders at Dean and earning an eye roll. Jack doesn’t understand why his dads enjoy teasing each other so much, maybe annoying someone was another human way to express love?

“So, you’re telling me, I came out as bisexual for nothing because, I’m not really dating a man?” Dean blanches, gently smacking Cas on the shoulder. Hitting people is another love language Jack has learned, but not too hard, he learned that after accidently punching Sam a little too enthusiastically on the shoulder. Play fighting is good, actual violence is bad, he had explained that to him.

“We’re non-binary! Claire taught me that.” Jack is happy to interrupt, always happy to share the latest things he’d learned. He loves Claire for that reason, she’s always full of new things to learn, she is an excellent big sister. “Claire, Me, Cas, and Dean, we’re all LGBLT? Or is it LGBTQ? Either way, Claire is a lesbian, she also taught me that. And Dean, you’re a bisexual! Cas, you’re gay, I think? So, you didn’t come out for nothing, you came out for your non-binary partner.” Ha! Jack is very proud, this is one area he feels confident he knows more about than Sam, Dean, or even Cas.

“You’re surprisingly well informed for a toddler.” Sam compliments, tipping his beer bottle at him.

“The toddler age range ends at 3, I assure you, Jack is 4. He is no longer a toddler. I read all the development books.” Cas corrects, earning a laugh from Dean and a groan from Sam.

“He did, trust me Sammy, made me read some of them as well. Babies are weird man. Glad you came out fully formed kid, it was a relief.” Dean chuckles. Jack is relieved he came out fully formed too, it’s a lot more fun hanging out with his family when he can talk to them like this.

“I’m a celestial being, age doesn’t exist for me. I am as old or as young as I want to be at any given minute. Isn’t that neat?” Jack prides himself on choosing this form, a teenage body, he likes it because he can help his family. He likes going hunting, driving cars, and helping Dean cook dinner, a baby couldn’t do any of that!

“He really is your son-uh I mean they really are your child?” Dean self corrects, Jack notices he does that a lot more lately, again he really is trying to be better. Jack admires that about Dean, it’s something he tries to emulate as best as he can, always working to be a better person and make his mistakes right.

“Oh, I’m comfortable with he/they, just like my dad! I do feel like a boy most of the time.” Jack looks to Cas who nods along with him. They’d talked about it once, Cas explained that Jack could change a number of things about himself if he wished, if it would better match his soul. But Jack is really and truly happy with who he is. So is Cas.

“Yeah that’s my son.” Cas says fondly, pulling Jack into a hug. This is a good hug, the kind that makes Jack feel safe and cared for. Cas always makes him feel like he belongs, that no matter what he has a place in his arms.

That night, Jack sets a plan into motion. He waits until everyone is asleep and gets to work on creating gifts for his family. He uses his powers to manifest a set of matching black crew neck sweatshirts with the words ‘Cemetery Boys’ embroidered on the front in white thread. He then designs a magnet, putting a little ghost and tombstone on it. Once he’s satisfied he goes through the recycling and finds a box to put the sweatshirts in.

The next part is the most dangerous. Jack, creeps down the hall to the door that leads into the garage attached to the bunker. His eyes glimmer when he finds his target, the black 67 Impala, sitting dead center in the garage. Dean had just waxed her the day before so she was extra shiny. Jack likes when Baby is shiny, it makes the sun reflect on his face, nice and warm. He takes the magnet and carefully places it on the bumper, making sure not to scuff or scratch the shiny metal. Then in a flash, he is back in his room, laying in his bed as if nothing has happened.

Dean doesn’t notice the magnet until they are packing for a hunt the next day, a simple salt and burn case in Wisconsin. The whole family is going! Dean has even promised Jack that he will take him to Wisconsin Dells if it goes well and they will go to a place called Deer Park where he could pet and feed a bunch of deer. Jack likes animals, sometimes more than people, they’re much less complicated.

“Oh my god! My Baby is a whore! You gave her a tramp stamp?” Dean gasps, pointing to the offending ‘Cemetery Boys’ magnet on the bumper.

“You like it? I made it myself!” Jack beams with pride, hoping Dean was speechless because he was blown away by his ability to create magnets.

“Also, the term you’re looking for is sex worker. You need to be more sex positive Dean, especially for someone, who from the sound I hear coming from your room at night, seems to enjoy sex a great deal.” Jack blurts out nervously when Dean doesn’t respond. Jack tends to do that, he wishes he could stop, another part of what makes him different from most people.

“Oh, for the love of Christ. Please Jack, no.” Sam is doing something Claire told Jack is a facepalm, meaning he was either embarrassed or frustrated, perhaps both?

“Do not be ashamed of our healthy sex life, Dean. But do but ashamed of your gendered slurs and generally overdramatic demeanor. The car is unharmed, it’s a magnet.” Cas steps in, doing the teasing thing again. Jack really doesn’t understand his dads, but he’s glad they seem happy together.

“I swear one day Baby and I will drive away and leave you all behind. Traitors.” Dean threatens, this is a joke, Jack measures. Dean does that a lot, uses sarcasm and empty threats, at first they used to confuse and frighten Jack but now he just accepts it’s part of his nature. Dean is grumpy. Loveable but grumpy.

“See your theatrics are quite comical. You couldn’t leave us if you tried. Who would open the pickle jars for you, darling?” Cas smirks, Jack remembers witnessing this scene, Dean saying all the “no words” at a jar of gherkins as he struggled for a good 5 minutes, until his dad took the jar and opened it within two seconds.

“It was one time! And I swear I loosened it!” Dean glowers, clearly ashamed by the great pickle debacle of last week.

“Dads, stop. I will remove the magnet.” Jack decides it’s his job to play peacemaker, he steps up and gently takes the magnet off baby’s bumper, Dean visibly sighs in relief. Jack tries to hide his disappointment, he’d meant the sticker as a gift.

Cas notices his mood shift and is by his side, pulling Jack into a side hug. “Hey, you can put it on my truck.” He offers, rubbing Jack’s back and making him instantly feel better, must be magic dad powers Jack figures.

“Thanks dad, this is why you’re my favorite.” He says without thinking, Sam and Dean giving him matching offended expressions.

“Uh-what about me, I’m the one that sneaks you candy when Cas isn’t looking.” Sam makes a good point, he is exceptionally good at sneaking. He and Jack have so much fun together, that’s how they ended up with Miracle the dog. Sam had helped Jack smuggle him into the bunker and once both Jack and Cas had bonded with the dog, Dean couldn’t kick him out. Though Jack knows that Dean loves the dog just as much, he’s caught him slipping Miracle some of the good bacon when he thinks no one is looking.

“No Dean is the one that gives me candy. You help me pull pranks!” Jack laughs as Dean, flinches, quickly busing himself with packing all their bags in the trunk along with the weapons they’d need.

“Dean!” Cas says in his low, ‘oh no you’re in trouble,’ voice. “We’ve dicussed this, Jack’s intake of high fructose corn syrup is frighteningly high. He needs to eat real food.” He adds. Nougat is a food, Jack thinks privately, nougat might be his favorite food in fact.

“He’s a kid, he’ll be fine. Dean and I lived on that shi-stuff as kids and we turned out alright.” Sam, usually the vegetable police, surprisingly comes to Jack and Dean’s rescue, earning a matching raised brow from them both.

“Did you though?” Cas challenges, hand on his hip, sometimes dad gets sassy. Jack likes when dad gets sassy because it’s funny, makes him laugh.

“Well damn, don’t sugar coat it or anything babe.” Dean says in disbelief, opening the passenger door for Cas, Sam climbing into Baby’s backseat before Dean motions for Jack to come sit behind him. “Do I even want to know?” He sighs as he spots the box Jack is carrying.

“Well you’ve all been distracting me, I almost forgot.” Jack pauses as he opens the box and holds up the Sam sized sweatshirt. “I made us all shirts! Team shirts, we’re the Cemetery Boys!” He says proudly, shoving the shirt at Sam, then two at Cas, one for him and one for Dean. Jack pulls on his own shirt right away, stretching his arms and modeling it for them all.

“Can you all wear them for me?” Jack pulls out his trump card for this one, using the ‘look’ that Sam had taught him. He made his eyes big and kept them open just long enough so they were watering slightly, then bit his lip.

“I really screwed myself when I taught you my secrets. Really, using my own puppy eyes on me. Really short sighted of me to teach you that.” Sam sighs as he pulls on the sweatshirt, Cas doing the same.

“Nope, still not doing it. I don’t do matching shirts.” Dean holds firm, shaking his head at Cas when he holds out the sweatshirt to him as they pull out of the garage.

“Dean, the couch in the library is awfully uncomfortable. It’d be a shame if you had to sleep there.” Cas is firmly on team Cemetery Boys, pulling out the big threats to get Jack his way.

“Ugh fine, but no one can ever find out about this!” Dean groans, waiting until he’s at a stop sign at the end of the road to pull it on. Jack lights up, his team is complete, all three dads are wearing his shirt!

“It’s funny how easily emasculated you are Dean. Life is a lot more fun when you stop caring about gender expectations.” Cas smirks, Dean rolling his eyes at Cas and mimicking his know it all expression.

“Dean is sensitive, dad, and he’s really good at making pies! I think he cares less than you think he does.” Jack pauses, pleased when Dean makes eye contact with him in the rearview mirror and smiles. “Besides, I saw the pink underwear he hides when I helped with that laundry that one time.” He adds, Dean’s smile quickly disappearing, his eyes wide as he tightly gripped the steering wheel.

“Jesus Christ, kid, stop selling out all my secrets.” Dean grits between his teeth, now he is blushing. Jack knows Dean hates blushing just as much as he does.

“Oh that’s good! Can’t wait to tell Claire that one!” Sam barks out a laugh, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“You wouldn’t!” Dean hangs his head in shame when they stop for a train.

“Already did!” Sam sing songs, holding up his phone. Jack is sometimes thankful that Claire doesn’t live with them, living with your sibling seems exhausting sometimes, if Sam and Dean are any indication.

“Alright that’s enough Jack, don’t spill all the coffee. Your dad is allowed to have his secrets.” Cas intervenes, gently patting Dean’s thigh.

“Tea, dad, its spill the tea!” Jack sometimes can’t handle how out of touch his dad is. Guess that’s what happens when you’re millions of years old.

“Oh right, what’s the difference?” Cas sighs, laying his head back against the headrest as if he’s exhausted, Jack knows it’s just for dramatic effect because Cas doesn’t sleep.

“Cas, there’s big difference! One is the nectar of the gods and the other is glorified leaf water.” Dean defends, holding Cas’ hand, it’s meant to be a private gesture, but Jack can see it and it makes his heart happy.

“Tea is good.” Sam tries.

“I rest my case.” Dean counterpoints.

The case is a rough one, it turns out to be a bit more than a simple salt and burn. The ghost, a family annihilator was coming from beyond the grave to try to kill his son who had survived his attack. They had split into two groups, Dean and Cas at the cemetery burning the bones and Jack and Sam with the victim, trying to keep him safe.

“Do you think maybe we can take a photo together in our shirts?” Jack asks offhandedly as he and Sam roam the house looking for any objects that might still tether the ghost to the house.

“Why do you care so much about these shirts and taking a photo together?” Sam asks curiously, making Jack pause to think for a moment.

“Because, I’ve been watching a bunch of shows and movies, and all the families in them, they have all these photos together. They make all these memories together and they display them in their houses for everyone to see. I want that. The fact that we don’t have that makes me kind of scared, like this isn’t real. Like you all are prepared to run at a moment’s notice if I go nuclear.” Jack explains, using air quotes around the word nuclear.

“Oh. Oh. Jack, hey, it’s not like that. I guess, well we’ve been so busy saving people and hunting things, we’ve lost track of normal family things. You’re family Jack. Promise.” Sam says right away, pulling Jack into a crushing hug. Sam is strong, Jack hopes to be that strong someday.

“Can we take a photo then, a family portrait?” Jack asks hopefully.

“Family portrait? Family portrait. Shit! Jack, the family portrait!” Sam gasps, letting Jack go and looking around the room with wild eyes.

“Huh?” Jack is trying to catch up before he spots the family portrait hanging above the fireplace, both the victim and his evil departed dad in the photo. He rushes to grab it off the wall and tosses it into the fireplace. Sam pulls out a container of salt and lighter fluid, coating the portrait, then Jack tosses a match, lighting it on fire.

“Good work kid.” Sam grins as the ghost appears and then bursts into flames. “I think you’ve earned that portrait.”

True to his word, the first thing in the morning, Sam helps Jack use the laptop to find the closest portrait studio. It happens to be a JC Penney portrait studio, making Dean groan and complain about cheesy backgrounds and awkward poses that they’d likely endure. With much coaxing and further threats from Cas to relegate Dean to sleeping with Miracle on the dog bed, he agrees to the photoshoot.

Jack gets several copies of the photos made. He hands out wallet sized copies to Mary and Eileen who both coo over how adorable they look. Cas gets it framed and hangs it in the library, Dean never admits he likes it, but Jack catches him stopping to look at it every day, a proud smile on his face.

This is Jack’s family. His team. His Cemetery Boys.

[mermaidsirennikita]

What do you think they'll keep or get rid of for Bridgerton S2 (and what do you hope they keep/get rid of)? And do you think they'll keep the bee sting in the garden as is? It's such an insane scene lol.

Well, I hope they get rid of Colin and Penelope, but sadly we don't always get what we want. I think France sounds perfect for them, though.

--Honestly, if they want to maintain any level of genre authenticity, the bee sting has to stay. It's so insane, but that's the kind of thing that would only happen in a romance novel. So to remove it and sub in some like.... sane... reason for them to marry would be to take away a lot of the book's charm, imo.

--I hope they get rid of (and think they probably will get rid of) Anthony getting all huffy about his "rights" on the wedding night. It just hasn't aged well, and as much as I am trash for Horny Man Desperate vibes, it just wouldn't play well today.

--I think they'll probably get rid of the scene where Anthony sucks on her tits in the parlor, which is such a shame, but this show..... lacks balls. Does it move the plot forward? Not really. Does it emphasize that these people do have a physical connection? Yes.

--That goes for most of the "superfluous" (but not really) sexy bits in the book. I think these will probably be melted into another montage, or like.... one or two non-wedding night sex scenes.

--I think the ending carriage scene may be morphed into something else. Not sure.

--They'll obviously get rid of his I burn for you~ line because it's been done, but I do think it's very possible that they'll keep the W0MAN I WILL TIE YOU TO THIS BED speech. And I hope they do. Does Anthony have remarkable coherence for a man who's balls deep in a woman he's been dying to bone for weeks? Yes. Do I care? No.

--Edwina's secondary plot will probably be changed into something a bit more exciting. I doubt lesbian!Edwina will happen, but I imagine we'll get some kind of Lydia Bennet But Not As Bad moment where Edwina is with someone inappropriate. Her B plot will be expanded. Whatever Edwina had in the original book is not gonna be there.

--Mary will have a snr snr adaptation expansion so that they can give Polly Walker snarky lines about Mary. This will seem very important about the writers, but will take away from what people actually care about.

--Daphne will be there, obviously, and she will say snarky lines about Anthony being on the market. The 6 people who stan Daphne will be very into this, and everyone else is gonna be like wait the duke's really is gone.

--I think they'll keep the Deskgate scene that people sometimes go onto r/RomanceBooks to call abusive, but it'll be like.... Kate will bite Anthony's leg, but Anthony won't kick Kate in response. Because Kate biting Anthony is fine, Anthony (lightly) kicking her in response is not fine, somehow.

--Obviously, there may be a change in circumstances as it's not like Siena can.... casually walk up to Anthony and be like anyway fancy a lay? But maybe she can? I've heard little about the girl playing Siena being back that's definite, buuuuut I wouldn't be surprised if SOMEONE propositions Anthony while Kate is under the desk.

--I imagine they'll whittle down Kate's mother's death a bit to make it somewhat less wild.

--Lol man there is a DECENT chance of them cutting her fear of thunder. Idk. I could see it being kept, I could see them cutting it because it seems "too much"? If they do, obviously the big comforting scene won't transfer over.

--Pall mall will be kept, Simon won't be there, Edwina (and Eloise) may be there, everyone will bitch about how Simon isn't here to say his two lines. Colin will be like "it seems that she has your ball, brother" and everyone here will be like WOW COLIN IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE. It will get giffed like 60 times.

--I think they'll probably keep the first kiss largely as is but soften it somewhat to make it less.... aggressive? But was it aggressive in the book? Eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh by what standards--

--Basically, I think they'll keep the backbone of the story, but they'll add in a fuckton of shit that will be borderline impossible to truly care about, and will soften a lot of the story to make it "more palatable to a general audience" like romance novels don't sell to the general audience lol.

[roublardise]

9 and 15 for the sapphicnatural ask 😊💕💕

thank you!!! 🥰

9. post or link me your favourite spn femslash creation made by you

oooh god.... i got this question waiting in other asks so i'll be able to give multiple answers. for now i will be talking about my Anael X Bela amv!

it's one of my first amvs and i'm just so happy with how it turned out 🥺 it's quite simple but very sweet, i'm quite proud of making content for a rarepair, first of all. but also how i managed to make it work with two characters who do not interact in canon, it's not even the same aesthetic! i wasn't working with hd yet so it's a bit frustrating to rewatch, however that's when i tried out putting voiceovers, and i love the typos i did :) also swiftnatural 💕

i truly LOVE the idea of these two together. i think demon Bela should have had Ruby's place in s15!! the plot is literally about some artefact??? hello.... why the fuck bring back Ruby when Bela is right there!! knowing about artefacts was her job! she was great at it! they already ruined the opportunity by having that guy cas hates instead, how hard was it to have Bela for one little episode. that's part of why i can't get behind Anael X Ruby even tho the canon gives us some compelling scenes, all i think about is how Ruby 1.0 was a better actress it should have been BELA!! yes Anael could have two hands but no not in this case.

15. female character that definitely deserved better?

which all.... lead to my answer to this question......... i will say Bela Talbot. she deserved to at least come back as a demon!! her dynamic with Dean was super interesting, they were the same but dealing with their traumas differently. i'm obsessed with what it says about Dean's own childhood that he's paralleled with the girl who was sexually abused and made a deal to kill both her parents.....

i WISH they were able to explore that more, especially as rn it's just blaming Bela for her choice - a choice she made at 14yo! they never question why a 14yo would make a deal, like the way she's treated is so unfair. she could have died bc they didn't have time/a way to save her, but not bc they just refused to do so? bc they thought it was legitimate for her to die??? hello what.

wish we had more of her lesbian coding bc imlo (in my lesbian opinion) when she tells Dean they should have "angry sex" this is lesbian behavior. also what happened to her cat i need answers 🔪

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