#but i remind myself— ill still be me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cheapcheapfaker · 5 months

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the thing about having a kid is that anyone can do it. and I don’t mean that strictly in the “dumbest people you know are rawdogging another future faux hawked -ayden into the world” sense, though it must be touched upon considering I read a review for a baby toy where the mom rated it one star because she couldn’t clip it onto the stroller handle so it faced the baby. I still got the sloth toy because it’s cute. And It’s a clip. It definitely faces inward. Insane a clip is too advanced an instrument to figure out but people still manage to figure out how to keep a tiny helpless grub of a newborn alive. This is not a superiority chant but an anxiety relieving one— if they can keep a baby alive, you can too.

But. My point. And it’s a point I do have to remind myself. Is anyone can have a kid. There’s no limit. Country, culture, religion, politics, personality. You’ll read and overhear stuff and worry, why don’t i feel this way, why hasn’t this been my experience, why isn’t this something i want, and not realize that person is just— an entirely different beast than you that has very little in common other than birthing your own creature. And diversity is a good thing. One isn’t right while the other is wrong. (Except clip lady. I worry for her.) But there’s no one size fits all. Someone else’s parenthood journey is going too look much different than mine. that’s okay.

#the bean #i know i am going to change becoming a parent #and im actually v cool with that. I had a good twenties! im ready to shift into my next form #im ready to grow and change in new and exciting ways #but i remind myself— ill still be me #idk. i hate making hard lines about any of this esp because you ALWAYS hear #’just waaaait until you have a kiiiid you’ll immediately become a Fox News watcher wanting to move to the burbs’#shit like that. yknow. or you read stuff from mom blogs/ mom boards #and i have to remind myself a very specific type of person posts on these things in the first place #my own mom would’ve never yknow? there’s a vast amount of parents out there. so many varieties

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thedisablednaturalist · 10 months

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I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

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xxplastic-cubexx · 23 days

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Chat have we discussed drunk chess with cherik cause i just think. That would be the darnedest silliest thing they could do

#xmen #xmen first class #xmen dofp #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #snap chats #sorry still thinking about dofp and i reminded myself of the plane scene #the idea of drunk chess sounds so stupid fun i wish i could play drunk chess #‘snap how do you play drunk chess’ simple !!!! every piece you lose you take a shot #anyway i think itd be silly …….#id like to do something with that idea but i still have to decide on execution #omg xmen fandom hasnt seen my twelve million ‘i wanna draw this so bad’ tags yet #but yeah i sy tht a lot </3 so many things i wanna draw all the time #either that or write …. but i draw more #i love comic makin. and i blame these damned comics for gettin me into it what tha hell !!!#ok im done rambling i wish i had more to say but i dont #i lied i do. this doesnt have to be after erik apologizes on the plane this could be lit any damn time they play #i just live for the progression of them Trying to play semi seriously for a solid twenty minutes before they lose it #and now they wont stop giggling and being stupid asses #theyre still trying to play but ‘trying’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting #imagine it with me chat … itd be so beautiful i could cry frankly #ok my classes are done for today im gonna sit in my room and think of cherik #maybe ill TRY to draw this … if not then def somethin at least

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craacked-splatters · 21 days

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Practice drawings of sad old men + two dummies

#tmnt 2012 #mutant apocalypse #Theres not enough MA content in the wild #so ill just do it myself #when in doubt draw eye creatures lmao #I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT LEO I SWEAR #I'm still grieving his design loss😭#im going to make it better than b4 out of spite #also sksksk everytime raph and leo fight it reminds me of like puppies yapping #idk why lol #donbot #2012 leo #2012 raph #2012 donnie #2012 mikey #splatter scribbles

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crypt1dcorv1dae · 4 months

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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...

#kafhoshi #kafka x hoshina #kafka/hoshina #jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block #ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay #just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME #ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO

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sojourner-between-worlds · 1 month

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God is still good.

#even when you lose your first child to miscarriage #random ramblings #don't mind me #more a reminder to myself than anything else #spent an hour (out of 5) whispering that to myself #i have to believe it or ill fall a part #God is still good God is still good God is still good

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avocado62524 · 12 hours

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#starscream #macaddam #megatron #im a one trick pony. my only trick is drawing starscream and gun megs #me and my bro watched tf1 yesterday and we left pissed off.#im still assmad #no spoiler ofc. thats all. ill explain when the last country gets to see it. im mad but not for the reason you might think haha #its just that it reminded me of myself.#also yeaaaaaaaaah i simplified all the shapes to try to learn how to draw. you lieky? i like #no detail. just blocks #im gonna learn shading one day idk how to make the colors un- dull #im using layers and modes for the first time in my life and i dont get it #and god bless my gunpla id be so screwed without them #i found the superior way to get pose refs

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 month

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Ye olde cat boys....

(I'm working on a bigger piece rn, so I colored this sketch in the meantime :DD)

I realized this is basically a more realized version of a sketch from really early boy king days:

#gah jfc i havent posted a full drawing in more than a month 😭😭😭#i need to remind myself drawing over sketches actually turns out pretty good!!!#still stuck in that 'lineart needs to be perfect' brain even though i often draw over it anyways #cat boy vettonso haunt me on the daily........#they're both cat coded!!!!!!!!!!#i should write a lore post abr this concept but idk what it'd be 😭😭#how they would act if they were catboys.....#hissing for sure. much grooming. many zoomies. poor mark 😞#very happy w this :D cause the sketch concept has been in the back of my mind a while #and im like ILL JUST TRY DRAWING IT OKAY #this feels weirdly nostalgic in the approach to the anniversary of this au #it feels very much like smth i would have drawn back then #well smth i would've drawn now too but like. my past self would be like woah! you did it!#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #catie.art.#boy king au

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todayisafridaynight · 8 months

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#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza series #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #ryo aoki #masato arakawa #snap sketches #for once Not a commission i just. literally have not drawn anything for myself all month #and im going to explode if i dont grant myself ONE (1) government mandated break #also i was compelled. images kept attacking me #have to remind people that i still do in fact like rgg and i am still mentally ill #ok im gonnatry to finish one of my like. ninety comms tonight so i can finally get more time to draw more stupid shit like this BYE

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nabaath-areng · 3 months

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Half assed screens, but some of the glamours I might will use for Ieeha throughout the journey of Dawntrail!

#its funny cause im actually super nervous #in a way thats really similar to how i felt when heavenward dropped #im as prepared as i possibly can be i think for the way ieeha will look with the new graphics #while trying to remind myself to cling onto the hope of being able to mod him #maybe ill be positively surprised of how he looks but tbh i kinda doubt it with his key features being changed #but ill try to stay positive as much as possible at least #im sad that burnout + lack of PC made me miss out on so much of endwalker #i think thats why i dont feel ready for dawntrail yet... because i dont feel done with endwalker #but ill just do all the things im behind on after!!!!!!#ieeha de verral #ieeha #my screenshot #ffxiv glamour #also someone once pointed out i use the maid tights a lot #and they were right. but its still nowhere near how much i use the midan horn of healing #im serious its been the key feature of ALL of ieehas healer glams since...... when did midas drop? early 2016? since then #the field commanders gloves are my second most glamoured item most likely #especially since is for all classes.......#i want to use other headpieces but they either clip or arent visible under ieehas bangs #or they just look off #who knows what will happen in DT... maybe he'll find a new hairstyle or smth. he's had the same since like 2018 #TIME SHALL TELL HEHE

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thejeangreysummers2 · 3 months

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the simon fan fiction i read has left me emotionally hungover i can’t —

i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #ill never be the same actually #like i don’t know if ill survive this #i’ve actually never had an original experience it turns out #this reminds me so much of me and fiancée #and perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is they were literally in ghost face paint before we met #i saw this picture & im like so easily spooked like never watch horror movies #and i’m thinking to myself you’re beautiful still ?? how odd #i literally just remembered this #i love slow burn pining

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fatehbaz · 5 months

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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child #when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me #for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites #while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs #at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books #which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa #anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop #one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me #in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card #tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition #later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned #i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds #but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me #they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes #and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories #which i was always sentimental about as child #from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides #and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns #to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth #parents passed when i was a child #never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness #and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions #and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally #and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost #even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions #but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth #thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood

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uygfiug · 2 months

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oh btw i just got one of those big ass monstera plants today :) shes quite small still but !!! yay !!!

#ill show her off in the morning #too dark rn #ive had one of those small ones for a bit as well :)#so its nice to have both #anyways i am not posting this at 2:12 am #who would even be awake at that hour? not me i sleep when darkness descends on us #im just having a snack before i go to sleep #bc im really really hungry #bc its been a while since dinner #i gotta remember to have some icecream tomorrow #bc my brother always eats all of it before i even get to have any #but theres still a bunch rn #i was going to do read in a park i really like #that is a whole train ride away #so idk if that goes with the icecream #ill figure it out in the final hour #yknow a guy once told me im really good at talking to myself #bc it was in a vc but like i was the only one who felt comfortable actually talking #everyone else went into it expecting to be the only one who didnt want to #so it was just me & a bunch of people sending messages #quite fun actually #i wouldnt call that talking to myself though #anyways getting off track #i was just thinking how i enjoy rambling in the tags often & that reminded me of that situation #i finished my snack goodnight yall #mine

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sweetvalentinescandy · 3 months

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trying to make some tweek designs just to like practice or somethin idk ell oh ell im not feeling very confident in my art anymore lowkey

big yap fest for each design under the cut !!

Barbarian Tweek

"ive never really thought of tweek as afab outside of TSOT, but i feel more comfortable drawing top surgery scars [than i do like.. nipples.] ive always seen tweek as trans, usually non conforming/non binary/androgynous in general, but ive never considered transmasculine. but i like the idea!

this is probably my least canon compliant design of this bunch. i feel like the fantasy of TSOT is just so ripe for headcanons. i NEVER draw sp characters with canon in mind really, probably the autism taking over or somethin, but i always at least age them up [more in the main tweek design]. for this design, i was thinking more of what tweek thought they looked like, if not the more au version of TSOT. like, The Thief by Wintergrew on ao3 kinds of non canon compliant. thats also most of the inspiration for basically every TSOT thing i do ever. i love that series (i did cry) (a lot)"

Tweek Tweak

"its the original guy lets have a round of applause honestly..., not my favorite time ive drawn bro. he looks so boring when hes just standing there. i always see tweek as non binary, just because i project on them a LOT.. like. i know that hes a guy and probably doesnt care [in canon], but i just headcanon like that i guess. i also age him up, along with every other sp character, to be around my age so like 14-17. i know thats controversial [and by "i know" i mean i saw someone on sp whisper pinterest say they hated it] but i just dont know how to write kids. theyre kinda boring. i can project more onto teens i guess. thats kinda all there is to say. sometimes i draw tweek with brown pants, but thats because i just like the earthy aesthetic [on them]"

Wonder Tweek

"this is the most canon compliant one. im just not that much of a TFBW guy honestly (which is sad because its the only source of not really canon twenny sigh) but i guess its also the source of some of the best creek. i am not a creek hater but sometimes its hard to fight the allegations when i start crying over them having a cute scene in a video game [not because im mad its because i miss being in a relationship] [frowney tumblr loser behavior] when i say this is the most canon compliant one, i mean it. this is SHORT HAIR TWEEK. [i usually draw tweek with like longer hair like 2021 wolfmullet hair and with the little twin sideburn things idk what theyre called, mostly because i didnt know how to draw short boy hair before getting into sp and thats just how i drew them instead but a year later i finally decided to just do it and thought it was okay for startin out] code red. sound the alarms. theres not a lot to say besides that. (can you tell i hit my peak with barbarian tweek.) [i ordered this by order of how i finished them and yes you can tell sigh]"

#south park #tweek tweak #barbarian tweek #wonder tweek #the stick of truth #sp tsot #tfbw #sp tfbw #brief mention of creek #im not interested in my hobbies very much anymore but its ok #ill probably get out of it soon i hope #ok so since this is probably gonna get buried... ive been.... watching hermitcraft.#im still super super super not a dsmp fan the last dsmp fan i thought was nice and cool was my ex and he was a whole can of worms #i dont dont dont dont dont like dsmp ever no #just knowing how many problematic people are in that series is just so ick i couldnt ever see past that shit #also its just not what i want in content besides that #but ive really taken a liking to hermitcraft and the life series and yeah its cringe but like.. idk its captivated me.#and ive.... been... drawing fanart #vine boom sound effect plays the room shakes the earth splits in half gasp sound effect “you need to LEAVE!!”#but im really disappointed because of the overlap of dsmp fans in the life series/hermitcraft fanbase #so its either i post hermitcraft fanart and risk the dsmp fans liking my stuff and interacting #which does remind me of my ex unfortunately sigh #or i just.. dont post hermitcraft fanart. sigh #i dont ever worry too much about who interacts bc i dont want to gatekeep my art #like dsmp fans have interacted before #but i just... dont want to associate myself personally with that fandom #i KNOW theres good dsmp fans but me personally if i was supporting that group i wouldnt be very proud of it either #just wanted to get that off my chest (TOP SURGERY JOKE)#tumblr tags are literally my diary bro oh my shit

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schizononagesimus · 3 months

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oh my god im going to tear my eyes out. in a good way. i dont know why the world is trying to pull me in two directions so hard right now but i got another funding opportunity at my chosen university out of nearly nowhere. i don't think i have a good chance, but I can at least try and inevitably mourn when i don't get it. i also have another job opportunity that would also get me back in europe. I still have articles to edit and presentations to give this summer and beyond. It's not over until it's over, and boy is it not fucking over. I just gotta get the fight back in me.

#i didnt even tell people that i was in the running for a different phd too bc i thought id be rejected and i was ultimately but i was only #one of two candidates. it was close! and now if i have this gap year there's another funding opportunity at my uni of choice and THEN #another phd opportunity ill be writing a proposal for. so either way im winning. i just have to remind myself that im still fucking in this.#i refuse to leave academia and everyone is refusing to let me. i just had to grieve but the universe wont even let me do that and keeps #throwing opportunities at me. maybe itll happen. maybe this year. probably not but god what if #lessons of the hand and the mouth

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crunchycrystals · 24 days

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i think ive mentioned this before but like i cannot stress enough how fucked up i think it is that i started dissociating at such a young age and continued that for months and never realized

#crunchyposts #me ventilating #the mental illness chronicles #not as bad as others but like i was so young. im still young and this happened years ago so #and throughout those months i was like 'maybe the situation isnt as bad as i think it was'#meanwhile every time my brain tried to remind me of the situation i immediately started to forget that the world around me was real #tw dissociation #tw derealization #i was constantly saying to myself 'maybe youre overreacting' while i wandered through life feeling weird when people said my name #because i forgot that other people were aware of my existence #this did also make me a worse person i am a lot meaner to strangers now bc i forgot that they were also real #im better now i swear i know yall are real i know that im typing this #i know my name i dont feel as weird when i see pictures of myself #but i just get really mad on behalf of younger me being put in a situation that forced their brain to dissociate #there was probably someone i couldve talked to about this but i was barely aware of anything happening aroud me let alone the concept #of dissociation so #i say im ok now bc i dont want yall to worry im really fine now i just wannt to rant #wow i found old messages saying it caused me physical pain #and the next message was 'nevermind we're back to everything feeling fake we're good now' isnt that fucked up. trauma babyyyyyy

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