#but i really need the break to just

[abyssin]

i really wanted to come back here after the holidays, i have a lot of childe muse and i love this silly ginger so much. but i may... take a more official break? words just aren't coming when i log on here and i really don't want to force my muse, as eager as i am to write again here. :") to the ppl i approached or approached me to plot, i'll do my best to get back to you when i feel more motivated to be here.. i'm really sorry for the inconvenience again!! in the mean time, you can find me on @13nth and @eseluna. thank you again for your patience!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[antiwhores]

My thoughts on how Bakugou cums:

He lets out a deep guttural moan every time he cums without fail. Its summoned from somewhere deep within him. He would die if anyone heard it except you. It’s for your ears and your ears only.

He does this while either burrowed in your neck or with his head tilted back. If he’s buried in your neck he’s either sucking on it or biting you. You love either but when his head is tilted back you get to see more of him. His Adam’s apple bobs so nicely.

His hands tense and untense rapidly. His fingers squeezed whatever he’s hanging onto almost painfully for him and definitely painfully for you (you love it tho). Also, his hands heat up. He’s gotten better control over it but when y’all first started he burned you so bad bro.

He grabs onto whatever part of you he has access to. From your hips and legs to your hair and neck. He gets too in the moment of his own pleasure and forgets that he’s strong as fuck. You usually come out with bruises.

When he can’t get a hold of you he does one of the three things: grabs fistfuls of his own hair, grabs the counter/sheets/headboard (whatever surface is near), or he lets himself loose and lets little explosions out.

Sometimes he whimpers. You have a mutual agreement to not speak of it.

He kisses you if he’s not covering his face. But if he’s not covering his face he’s covering yours. He hates the face he makes when he cums. Eventually, you got him to stop. Anyway, he kisses you sometimes if he’s not in your neck or throwing his head back. He bites your lips and moans into your mouth.

Okay I’m done

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Archery Nemesis.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[theriverbeyond]

Gideon Nav terrible fashion sense is so important to me babygirl has never been free to dress herself in her LIFE and i firmly believe that if she did have that freedom she would wear just. the most dogshit outfits. socks with slides. neon colors. shirts that say TITS with an arrow pointing down. outfits so bad every woman she meets is begging to take her on a department store makeover episode. outfits so bad you wonder if she got dressed in the dark upside down picking her clothing items by chaos potential. outfits so bad they wrap around to being sick as hell before winding back and punching you straight in the face

[nocek]

Is it a stupid idea? Yes. Did I have to go overboard and animate it? No.

But I had to and I'm not sorry ;P

[s0fter-sin]

something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down

[sydmarch]

it's really strange to me how many people I've seen say that the substance is unsympathetic towards elisabeth & disdainful towards woman in general. idk it feels to me like the movie is really explicitly not saying "silly women, isn't it stupid that they're doing this to themselves?" but "isn't it fucked up that our culture puts so much pressure on women that they feel forced to do these things to themselves?"

[egophiliac]

still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia

[hejee]

my favorite problematic senior citizens

[wolfythewitch]

My Watching Over Kids Hot Take a lot of kids just want someone to talk to them calmly without telling them what to feel. Or maybe they just want to talk and have someone listen

A kid at church today was sulking under a table blocked off by chairs that he couldn't get to play with this Optimus prime toy they had in a cabinet and when I asked him if he was willing to wait for it after the service or if maybe he had some toys at home he said he didn't and church was the only place he could play with one, and Optimus prime is his favorite character ever. I told him we couldn't let him play with it now, but if he was willing to wait until later when there were fewer kids he could take it for a spin. He was still sitting under the table but he wasn't frowning anymore. He told me about dinosaurs. His favorite is the allosaurus. He came out from under the table for a second just to mimic its roar. I said yooo that's sick my favorite is the pterodactyl. I mimed a screech (my dinosaur knowledge is very limited, alas). He crawled out from under the table and started clawing at the air, doing his best impression of a dinosaur. It was very cute. I think he likes dinosaurs almost as much as he likes Optimus prime. Then he ran off to play with the other kids

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[huevotm]

@zukkaweek day three: kyoshi warrior/blue spirit

I had planned to do a whole thing for Zukka week this year, but work has been a nightmare, so i just managed this v rushed self indulgent mini comic about smudged makeup after battle >:)

I imagine them doing vigilante stuff on Ba Sing Se and sometimes running into eachother, so they sometimes team up maybe?? And ofc Sokka doesn’t know he’s hanging out with zuko and zuko gets a bit bold when he’s the blue spirit. (And also has definitely been wondering how it would feel to touch sokka bc he’s touch starved as hell, so once he gets a little bit, he just keeps sneaking little touches here and there)

ANYWAYS HAPPY ZUKKA WEEK EVERYBODY

[daily-odile]

AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

[deoidesign]

I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.

I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.

This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.

When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.

And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.

It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.

If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.