#but i just can't help but feel like i made her suffer regardless

[garvalhaminho]

heartstopper has a specific talent to make me cry w the second episode of each season

[semisolidmind]

How do you think season 5 would’ve gone in your Bad End or Twice As Bad AU?

ok, so

y'know how, since season 4, mk has been going through the whole “i don’t want to use or even acknowledge my monkey form because it makes me feel like a monster” thing? well, bad end/twice as bad mk doesn’t have that hangup to address, because he’s spent his entire life up until the shows’ events in that form, training and living in it. he knows no other way.

he is an incredibly powerful monkey demon; he is the harbinger of chaos, and he's fine with it.

his “mortal” form is the one he’s been having visions and confrontations with. (i imagine the ink curse in s4 using his mortal form to taunt him about being weak now that he's got mortals he cares about– "keep on compromising for them, and you'll end up just like them; too small and insignificant to ever make a difference.")

instead of having to face his fear that he may be dangerous (because as a crazy powerful monkey demon trained by the two other most powerful monkey demons in the universe, of course he is), his mortal self is trying to tell him that he doesn't have to be a monster like wukong. death and rampant destruction don't have to be his legacy.

the mortal mk in his meditative visions tells him that caring for his friends doesn't make him weak or undeserving of his power and lineage. the visions he has during the guardian trials (and the guardians themselves) tell him that in order to be a real hero, he has to care about those that his training would tell him are "lesser" than him (also that his friends aren't worth less just because they don't have a ridiculous amount of power).

mk would learn to accept that every being in the world has value, regardless of their status. nuwa would tell him this as well, when he meets her.

season 5 would be bad end/twice as bad mk's journey of accepting that he has a mortal heart, and that caring for others has immense power all on its own. he must choose to be the change to the status quo.

he'd always known he was an "agent of chaos," but the events of season five cement in his mind that he was brought into the world for a reason. just that now, he alone gets to decide what that reason is.

----------

as for his mentors...

getting captured and re-bound by the gold fillet wasn't exactly on the monkey king's itinerary, and he's majorly pissed. he levels the surrounding area about it, and decimates all of the soldiers sent to subdue him (regardless of how agonizing the tightening spell is; the pain just makes him angrier). he breaks every ward and barrier placed against him, tears apart any enemy who dares to come close. his rage is a force to be reckoned with.

wukong had sworn he'd never be subjugated by heaven ever again; he's definitely not just gonna let this slide. the celestial realm will suffer for their breach of the tentative peace they brokered by leaving the monkey king well enough alone.

as the only one that gets captured after his fit of rage, he only has to get himself out of celestial prison. easy, despite how many wards are placed on his cell (it's not like heaven has ever been much of a threat to him before, after all). he has to get back to the group, for his family's sake. nothing will stand in his way.

macaque only barely dodges getting locked into a fillet as well, and uses his advantage to launch a sneak attack on nezha and li jing; this forces them back and gives the gang their chance to escape in the chaos caused by the monkey bros.

the shadow general takes the distraction provided by wukong's rampage to get reader and everyone else somewhere safe. from there, the gang helps mk find all the stones, defeat the guardians trials, and eventually make their way to the pillar.

both wukong and macaque try to stop mk from sacrificing himself (in-between fighting the nine-headed demon), and reader tries to talk him down from it. however, she can't argue with the look of quiet determination on his face..she knows that he's made up his mind. with tears in her eyes she embraces him, then lets him go.

wukong tries to go after him, but one look at reader stops him. she's...she's accepted his decision. just like she always has. maybe...maybe this time, wukong should too. he sheds tears and holds onto his wife... but doesn't follow his son into the pillar.

the world goes silent, before bursting back to life.

the stones are destroyed, the nine-headed demon dissapears, and things go back to almost normal.

----------

—i imagine reader, with her skills as a peacemaker developed from her centuries as queen of flower fruit mountain, is the one who keeps everyone calm and grounded throughout their ordeals. she's gotten to know them all through her adopted charge, and keeps them on track.

—now it'd make sense for reader to be left relatively safe on ffm, but given the state of the universe in this season, the monkey bros aren't about to let her out of their sight (weird end-of -the-world-again family road trip). they don't care much for the rest of existence, but even they have to acknowledge that they'd prefer the world and their mountain unbroken.

—the pagoda sequence is a very emotionally tense one for reader and the boys in twice as bad. reader relives being stolen and the early years of her imprisonment; after they break her out of the hundred eyed demon's spell, she won't look at either of them and flinches away when they try to touch her; little does she know, her husbands relived the same thing (plus all the other bad shit they've done). they've learned enough compassion for her to feel a bit of shame.

[thefanboyhub]

Random ass head cannons I have for SBG gang yuh let's go:

Note/Update: Disregard the eye color thing for Aiden cuz the author has confirmed that his eyes are contacts ✨

Tyler will call people he likes (platonic or romantic) princess regardless of gender, mostly uses it when he's teasing them or in like idk a passive aggressive way. Like "No shit, princess." Or "Okay princes, calm down." Always paired with an eye roll tho.

Taylor hates Taylor Swift because of the annoying jokes people do with her name.

Adding to the last one, Aiden found that out when he made a joke once and she looked like she was about to throw him out the window lol.

Logan has helped everyone get their zodiac charts and read them. He fucking memorized them too. Little nerdy boy <3

Ashlyn doesn't initiate physical touch(hugs, hand holding, cuddling, ect) with people often (cannon btw), but when she does it always makes whoever was chosen feel special.

Ben listens to literally everything. All music. He's polyjamours.

Tyler is actually pretty good at guitar and was something he's liked since a kid, he loves music with heavy guitar in it. He also named his guitar Mel, like Melody. Only people to touch it was Taylor and Ben.

I see some people say Tyler has Logan tutor him but like. No? Tyler is hella smart and doesn't need to be tutored? Like c'mon. BUT Logan does have Tyler help him work out (Logan's body before and after phantom realm goes crazy man) after the whole almost died to phantom thing.

Aiden use to experiment with hair dye before he fell in love with blond. Also his eyes are red, it's not contacts. It's just his eye color lightening s he aged or smt. Fight me.

Ashlyn hates sour food and loves the more bitter stuff. Aiden loves sour food and hates bitter stuff. They trade food sometimes so they don't have to suffer.

Ben and Aiden know ASL, Taylor is learning to talk to Ben better.

Logan can draw but he doesn't do it often but he loves to watch Ben draw. It makes him want to draw too.

Taylor draws on her friends arms, Tyler will pretend to hate it same with Ash but they always ask her to redraw things when they fade. Aiden once had Taylor do an detailed tattoo like design on his arm in class. It didn't wash of for almost three weeks.

Aiden actually has sensitive skin, the wrong fabric gives him rashes. No one but him knows what fabric won't, it's all based on touch.

Tyler can cook really well, and even enjoys it sometimes. Can't bake for shit though.

Aiden knows ballroom dancing. Rich families or old fashioned one tend to know how to ballroom dance (I use to know)

That's all for now

[anistarrose]

I want to talk about the way aromantic experiences can be represented in very meaningful and validating ways without characters being written as intentionally aro, and also I want to talk about aro-spec Magnus Burnsides headcanons. Luckily, I can do both those things in one post!

During the events of the podcast, Magnus is disinterested in and often straight-up uncomfortable with romance, because of the fate that befell his last relationship, with Julia. I've seen a reading (that I don't think is objectively wrong, though I do not personally share it) that interprets this trait of his as some kind of "sacrifice" he's making on Julia's behalf, being a choice to stay out of other relationships to carry on her memory better. It's a reading that seems pretty reasonable at first glance, but not especially aromantic.

(Because if anything, it almost seems at risk of turning into something like "there is no sacrifice more tragic than not having a romantic partner," right? Or worse, "this is a trauma response that needs to be healed for Magnus to have a happy ending, because being able to enjoy romance is vital to his happiness and self-fulfillment." Both of which are... varying levels of uncomfortable, to me as an aro person. Like, I'm not in the business of telling people how to interpret fictional characters, but I personally can't engage with these without a bad feeling in my stomach.)

However! Back to the various potential readings of Magnus's character! It's worth noting that so much of Magnus's arc revolves around unpacking his trauma, from the destruction of Raven's Roost and Julia's death — and that healing process doesn't change how he feels about romance! The Eleventh Hour is the turning point when he starts to seriously re-evaluate what the trauma and loss made him want, versus what Julia would want for him, and what would let him live in the moment instead of in the past... yet in the Heart Attack segment of Wonderland? Magnus still expresses disinterest in dating.

In Arms Outstretched, then Story and Song, he further internalizes and chooses to let himself be saved and ask for help, instead of punishing himself with martyrdom — and no romantic relationships come up in the epilogue! When he passes away after a long, happy life, it's Carey, — his best friend! — who holds his hand while they wait for the end!

Magnus's reasons for not wanting another relationship are obviously complex — not just a conclusion about himself that he came to lightly, regardless of whether he's on the aromantic spectrum, not on it at all, or deliberately not choosing a label. What makes his arc so unique and special to me, in contrast with almost every other story about traumatized characters finding a happy ending, is that his happy ending isn't contingent on romance! Whenever he says that he's that not into dating, no one doubts him or tries to undermine him (other than Lydia, who's literally trying to feed on his suffering) — and to me, an aro listener...

Well, the way the narrative takes Magnus's wants and lack thereof seriously is just so refreshing.

Ninety percent of characters in fiction who repeatedly stress that they don't want romance or marriage are only shown doing so to set up for the narrative later proving them wrong. It's to contrast with that later point in the story where they "find the right person," or "understand when they're older." Or "stop being so cold," or "stop acting like they're too fucked-up and 'damaged'." Or "overcome their trauma."

It has an air of "wow, isn't this character so ridiculous, for thinking they won't change their mind later?" Or occasionally, "isn't it so tragic, that they can't envision themselves being loved?"

For protagonist-y characters, for heroic characters like Magnus — for any type of character in which "happily ever after" is considered a plausible, fair-game, genre-acceptable outcome — we see the genre conventions also dictate that "settling down in a romance" and the "happy ending" are intertwined. I've seen TAZ posts from back in the era of The Suffering Game/The Stolen Century airing, expressing sentiments like "Magnus not finding someone to love again would be so tragic and mean-spirited, I hate grim and edgy endings like that." While I can appreciate people trying to subvert tropes like "you can only have one 'true love' in all your life," the incredibly non-subversive and ultra-amatonormative belief that "romance is a prerequisite for a happy ending, or even healing arc" is such a deeply unfortunate one to tag on.

I am aromantic. I don't want a romantic relationship. And I find joy in that! I refuse to accept that I need to be "fixed" or "healed" to live a long, happy life, because I'm not broken! What brings me the most joy beyond just living as an aro is seeing stories actually acknowledge that people can find this happiness without romance — like how Magnus's story does! Like how casually and matter-of-factly it subverts expectations — how Magnus says he doesn't want another relationship, and no one comes along to prove him wrong! He doesn't "find the right person" because at this particular phase of his life, and of how he wants to live, there isn't one in a romantic context!

He heals from his trauma enough to find all kinds of joy — doing things he loves, surrounded by people he loves — and not because of, or in service of pursuing, a romantic relationship!

I almost never see fantasy stories where one of the heroes gets to have an arc like that. An arc where they get to live out an ending that I would want. A happy ending that would be happy for me! For people like me!

Magnus Burnsides gives me so much Aromantic Hope. That this is a kind of happy ending that I am not the only one to idealize, and that I could attain, no matter what horrors are being thrown at me in the present. Magnus dies peacefully, after years of assuming that he wouldn't, and he does so surrounded by his dearest friends and family. Who are all so proud of the life that he lived. Magnus was true to himself, to what he felt would bring him healing and fulfillment — instead of what cliché and expectation dictated to him — and he was completely at peace in the end. Ready to rush in one final time.

I immensely doubt that Travis intended for Magnus's story to be an aromantic story in those words, if at all. But Magnus's story resonates so, so much with so many common aromantic experiences. And that means so much to me. I'm so grateful for that. In this day and age, in this world, I needed that.

I needed to have a good long cry about Magnus Burnsides. Aromantic icon, intentional or not.

...

...Of course, because this is tumblr, I want to make a clarification. This isn't some kind of claim like "shipping Magnus with people other than Julia is problematic." It is, however, a thesis statement that "no such ship becoming canon makes Magnus's arc so much more unique." It's an explanation giving full context to how I'm biased, not objective, but willing to argue that it makes his arc so much more meaningful, too.

And most of all, it's a desire to shine a light on a side of Magnus's character and growth that I think goes underdiscussed. Especially underdiscussed through an aro-spec lens. And speaking of which:

Sure, I said I don't think Magnus was intended as an aro-spec character, or that he can only be interpreted as such — but if you made it this far, you know I think this ruff boi's just chock full of aro-spec subtext! So just for fun — and because the world is always deserving of more aro-spec headcanons — let's end this post playing with some different readings of him as aro-spec!

Gray-Aro or Demiromantic Magnus who rarely falls for people to begin with. Why would it be some tragic heroic sacrifice to remain "chaste" and wait for Julia, when not being into romance is just Magnus's default state of being? He's so confused about why people think he's making some tragic sacrifice! So confused, guys! I even wrote a fic about the gray-aro HC a few months ago (link)!

Gray-Aro or Demi Magnus who thought he was just aromantic, no attraction whatsoever, for over a century — until he met Julia, and fell for her (perhaps very, very slowly). But that doesn't change those years gaining perspective as a platonically, familialy loving aro who values those bonds immensely, and always wanted them to remain a prominent part of his life.

Losing Julia devastates him, of course it does — but especially once he remembers the Stolen Century, he knows he has a long-term support system no matter what, and it won't revolve around chasing that unlikely possibility of feeling romantic love again. Why would it? Why would he need to chase something so fickle just to heal?

Aromantic Magnus who feels no romantic attraction, but in the era of Raven's Roost, doesn't not want a romantic relationship. Except, he doesn't after all. Except wait, he kinda does, it's just complicated. Maybe something queerplatonic? Well, he really likes the idea of a wedding, and that's not necessarily mutually exclusive with a QPR, but there's no guarantee his partner would feel that way too, and...

There's just these expectations that go with dating or marriage, of partners expecting him to love them in such a specific way that he knows he can't... and then he meets Julia, who's a romance-seeking aromantic too, with heavily overlapping feelings. Bonding over their similarities leads to dating, and eventually marrying, over a deep platonic love that may or may not still involve cuddles or kisses, or a desire to start a family. They don't panic too much over the labels — they're just so delighted to be with someone on the same wavelength!

When Julia dies, so much goes through Magnus's head. After a while, he can't help but start thinking again about how rare it is for people to want the same things out of a relationship that he does. Or to consider the way he feels for them to be enough. But as time passes, Magnus comes to terms with it more and more. He's happy to wait for Julia again. After all, he's longing, but not lonely. Mourning, but not incomplete.

Aromantic Magnus who is aromantic specifically because of his trauma, but no less aromantic for it. He just can't bear the thought of getting into a relationship again. Ironically, there's a point in time where he thought of himself as a romantic — back while he and Julia were courting each other — that now feels simultaneously so close and so distant. Magnus who has so much to grieve, and grieves this romantic side of him too — at first. Who thinks that there's only two options, for a folk hero in a story like his — settling down to live happily ever after, or dying in battle. And if there's nothing more upsetting, more uncomfortable, than getting married again — then living happily ever after has got to be off the table, right?

Magnus who slowly realizes that doesn't have to be the case. That no, barring seeing Julia again, he certainly doesn't have reason to believe that even time will change this new, alienating part of him — but maybe, it's not so alien after all. Maybe he knows people who won't even question it. Maybe he doesn't have to change it or overcome it to be happy again.

Why is romance some singular thing he has to chase, in order to settle down peacefully again? Why can't he do it with his friends? With his dogs?

And last, Questioning Magnus who might be aro, who might not be aro, and is maybe most likely to be something in between. But it's hard to tell; he's honestly not sure if he'll ever crack it, and.. ultimately, he's okay with that. Because all that matters to him is knowing he doesn't need a relationship to be complete, to take full advantage of his well-earned happy ending — and he's got a great grasp on that one, surrounded by people who never make him doubt it.

Aromantic Magnus Burnsides. Aro-Spec Magnus Burnsides. My aromantically beloved. Thanks, bud, for all the hope when I needed it.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

hii a little bit ago I ask if you could write loc dead x fem reader who self harms and I loved the one you wrote but could you please write another one 💕

I will hold you

warning : hurt/comfort, self-harm, emotional, kissing, no use fo Y/n

Info : Yeah I remember your request hope you like this one and have fun reading even if it's a little short but regardless have fun reading ;)

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pain. Pain is something that everyone feels at some point, whether it's when you hurt yourself cutting fruit, when you get a stomach ache from laughing or when you're just sad.

But there have also been days, weeks, months, years and decades when you can't get rid of pain. Something that gets stuck in you and hurts you with every passing day.

He knew it, the blond singer of the band knew this feeling, he experienced it every day and could only soften it slightly through the music with his heart by his side. But exactly this pain had captured him and his girlfriend, the one he loved, who was like the light at the end of the tunnel. But even this light can grow dimmer from time to time.

A light that is permeated by pain, a light that has been destroyed by fire, by ice, by metal and by his own body. He had tried it himself and had gone into this spiral abyss, but he had overcome it for a few days at a time and had now somewhat accepted it and survived.

But it was always painful for him when he caught his heart interrupting him and he went home to the room in the house they all shared. He didn't feel the smell of fire after a fire, it was different.

,,Darling! I'm back!" he called into the house, hearing something fall to the floor before he ran upstairs to her, the door to the room was torn open without a lock before he saw that she had thrown the lighter to the floor, the knife lying next to her, but the look of fear, rejection, pain he saw on her face was the most painful thing he had ever seen. That look he knew was a cry for help, a scream that only gave surface to her pain.

A pain they both knew, something they shared and yet hid prematurely. Sometimes, however, they bumped into each other and saw what was going on inside the other.

But the fire they both had not seen for a long time. ,,Wait, darling, just wait a moment," he said hastily, running out of the room and into the bathroom where he grabbed the first-aid kit, which was still more than half full, but it would do.

The crying he heard from her was sad and lonely in her current state. Something that bothered him she shouldn't suffer and yet this was easier said than done as he knew it was painful.

They both knew that this life was painful but life should never be like this. ,,Here I am," he said and knelt down in front of her, wordlessly yet gently taking her arm, the burns and cuts not too deep but the pain of this brief redemption was something she had felt without seeing the end.

,,I'm sorry," she murmured, tears flowing down her cheeks and hiding behind her hand as her friend touched her. She tried to soothe a little while he disinfected the wounds and cleaned the burn cream they had bought just for this.

,,It's not okay, I'm here…it could have been worse but my heart I'm here okay it's going to be okay" he talked to her as he sealed the bandages around her wounds with tape and pulled her into his arms.

Her sniffling mumbles of apology only caused him to hold her tighter. Just stay with me for today, we'll get through this," he reassured her, kissing her head softly, listening to her crying gradually become less and less.

Maybe she even had hope that she could now see the light at the end of the tunnel and not the other way around. He was her light in times when she knew how hard it was. But in the end they would make it, they had always made it somehow and they were making it today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[milkb0nny]

If you write for Jing Yuan, can I request angst with him being in love with Yanqing's biological mother (Reader) but she died asking him to take care of him? If this isn't up your alley or violates any of your boundaries please feel free to delete!

××× my shooting star ×××

Jing Yuan x fem!reader

Note: Thank you so much for this request! It was a very interesting and saddening experience. I hope I met your expectations. Have a lovely day and feed yourself with some wholesome content as well. 🤎

The night was quiet, illuminated only by the soft glow of the moon and the occasional twinkle of distant stars. Jing Yuan stood before your grave, his heart heavy with grief, even after a year had passed since the death of his beloved. Even though he loved you more than anyone else, he struggled to visit your grave. Your death haunts him, as he wished to see your smile one more time. The times he approached your grave, covered in flowers, it was a clear night. He raised his eyes to the lonely night-sky, watching as shooting stars streaked across the heavens, each one a painful reminder of the love he had lost. Each one a reminder he had to take care of your beloved son.

“My love,” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "My shooting star, my dearest sweetheart, my darling. How I miss you."

The memories of you were still vivid in his mind – the warmth of your smile, the sound of your laughter, and the way you had filled his life with light and love. You had been his confidante, his anchor, and the love of his life. Never did he thought to lose you one day. Tears dwelled up in his honey colored eyes, a hurting smile crept over his lips and his shoulders hung low. He never wanted you to be apart from his side, he desired you every day. He prayed, he screamed, he cried so much, only for a last kiss.

A year had passed, but the pain remained as raw as ever. He had made a promise to you on your very own deathbed, a promise to care for your dear son, Yanqing. The young boy, with his mother's eyes and your cheerful spirit, was a constant reminder of the love he had lost. Regardless Jing Yuan loved Yanqing, he always did. There was no moment where he cursed him or accused him of reminding him of his loss. Jing Yuan was mature enough to use that negative energy and turn it into anticipation. The general wanted to make Yanqing stronger, so at least the young boy would never leave Jing Yuan’s side.

Jing Yuan had taken Yanqing under his wing, teaching him the ways of the world and the art of fighting, just as he had promised. He loved the boy as if he were his own, and Yanqing had become like a son to him. But despite the joy that the boy brought into his life, the pain of losing his lover was a wound that refused to heal. After all, Yanqing often visited Jing Yuan, expressing how he also suffered from his mothers death. Both men loved you: one as a strong, confident mother, the other as a beautiful, faithful wife.

Tears ran down, down Jing Yuan's soft skin, as he continued to watch the shooting stars. One after another, all of them being a potential wish for you to come back. Each of them harbored the hope to wake up and see you. Jing Yuan missed the mornings where he woke you up with caressing your arms and kissing you. He missed the evenings you three strolled through the market. He finally knelt beside her grave, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The pain this man owned ate his soul day by day.

“I can't help but wonder… why you had to leave me so soon, darling. I feel so lost without you. I can’t, I really can’t. You were my little fragile flower and I tried so… so hard to protect you. I still love you. I love you so much that my heart’s been hurting, bleeding and wanting to join you. My love…”

Jing Yuan traced a finger over the engraved words on the gravestone, as if seeking solace in the cold stone. Your name was written there but it had already withered with time. The rest of your tombstone was covered in blue and white flowers that Yanqing had always brought to you. Your son, your partner cared for you but handled it their very own ways.

“But, sweetheart, I will keep my promise," he vowed. "I will always care for Yanqing, just as you asked. I will make sure he grows up strong and wise, just like his mother. He is such a good kid, so strong to deal with your death." He cried out loud, sniffling and wiping away his tears. There were rare occasions where the grown up man sobbed, but when it was about you he never refused to bawl his eyes out. Where were you?

As he gazed up at the sky once more, another shooting star streaked across the heavens, as if in response to his words. Jing Yuan took it as a sign, a message from his beloved, reassuring him that you were watching over him from the stars above. Oh, what bright shooting star you were this cold night.

With a heavy heart, he stood up again, kissing a flower, then wiping away his tears. "I will carry your love in my heart always," he whispered, his voice cracking and breaking apart like shattered glass. "And I will find the strength to continue on, for you, for Yanqing, and for our love."

With one last lingering gaze at the night sky, he turned around, his back facing your grave, and walked away. His steps heavy but determined, as he faced another day without his beloved by his side. Before entering the front door of his residence, he looked up, to the brightest shooting star that caressed the sky this night. Naturally he smiled at that.

“My shooting star. I love you.”

After saying these words, he opened the door to find Yanqing sleeping on a chair. He always waited for Jing Yuan to show up before he head to bed. To Jing Yuan, he treasured it deeply. He softly woke his apprentice up. Tired eyes met the reddened eyes of Jing Yuan, though the younger one didn’t question why he had cried. He knew, they both knew well enough.

[sepublic]

Furthermore, Belos is the type of colonizer who loathes a culture, but also feels entitled to it and is pissed off when it doesn’t bend over backwards to his demands. He wanted the glyphs of the Titan but he refused to respect her and her people, her body, her customs, and opted to take it by force; A method needlessly more complicated, difficult, and arduous than just humbling himself and learning on someone else’s terms. 

So to see some people have the fucking gall to treat Belos’ seizure of what is essentially a native resource as some W over that mean and unsuccessful Titan, disparage Luz as ‘not working’ for the glyphs like he did (ignoring how this brown girl actually put in the work of adapting to another culture), and unironically praise his ‘protestant work ethic’ is just… racist! It’s racist!!! 

It’s buying into the conservative strong man myth that Belos got where he did ‘by the grit of his own teeth’, when really he lied to and cheated people who actually put in effort and suffered the consequences for him; He stood on people’s shoulders without consent and attributed their sacrifices as his own like so many American Dream capitalists, instead of appreciating and reciprocating others’ help the way Luz did. It’s buying into the idea that Belos’ atrocities can be overlooked for the sake of admiring how he ‘got things done’, because that’s just the price of success!!! Like I dunno maybe we shouldn’t even jokingly praise a character for being a colonizing thief, a swindling capitalist in all but name.

This reminds me of that time I saw someone’s Road to El Dorado AU where Philip plays the role of one of the white Spanish dudes. Like are you fucking for real. You saw a genocidal white colonizer who impersonates a local religion he has no real understanding over to manipulate the natives for his own selfish ends and you actually said, “Okay but what if we treated it as a cute and good thing this time? What if we treated his blatant disinterest in everything that isn’t seizing the natives’ resources as a teehee trait???” I don’t care if Philip is chill and doesn’t murder people in this version of events. Y’all are just being lowkey, if not outright, racist. 

Belos is an effective satire of right-wing conservatives and radicalized white supremacists, genocidal colonizers who bastardize and appropriate cultures, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” success stories, entitled abusers with all their excuses, and Christian self-flagellation and savior complexes. Dana based him off of televangelists, cult leaders, and her own conservative relatives. And yet so many people willingly ignore the whole point of Belos’ narrative and themes to reduce him to just “Caleb’s moody brother” or some sadboi victim of religious trauma, as if Philip didn't willingly embrace Puritan ideology regardless of whatever drawbacks it may have had, because it ultimately promised superiority…

And with the AUs that strip Belos of everything that makes him Belos for the sake of some feel-good story that undermines the show’s themes and does his victims dirty, that isn’t even an alternate version that’s just a completely different, made-up guy with none of the depth. How’s he going to learn his lesson in a redemption fic if the first thing the writer does is undo the curse to restore Philip's White Man status that he so obsessively clung onto, and lost for that very reason? How is he going to learn his lesson if the writer can't seem to properly comprehend what exactly he did wrong and the actual reasons for it???

[privatehousesanatomy]

hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.

that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.

i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.

let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.

chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.

another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?

while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.

and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.

idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 18/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

Update: There will be a change in the chapter upload schedule. New chapters here will be posted MWF starting this week so next update will be on Friday. While TTh are days for me to rewrite and post story 1 chapters on ao3.

Thank you for your understanding <3

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Adam is actually adjusting rather well in Hell which, honestly, baffled Charlie and the others. Lucifer not so much because he's pretty sure Adam was not meant for Heaven but they didn't wanna embarrass themselves by having the first human soul fall in Hell.

And they say Lucifer's the prideful one.

Sure, the dickhead bitches and complains but he deduced the guy would do it regardless of where he was. He always thought that Adam was a lazy ass son of a bitch who's all dick and no brains; like one of those jock characters from Charlie's DVD collection.

Maybe that's why he's adjusting so well. His attitude is very on brand for Hell.

Still doesn't explain this, though.

Lucifer: How are you so good at this? I thought you said you hated it.

Adam: I said I hated it not that I'm shit at it. Besides, who the fuck loves doing paperwork?

Today, Lucifer is at the palace catching up on centuries worth of documents that he missed during this 'me-time'. The Sins initially offered to take over so that he could rest but he insists on doing it himself. He feels bad about relying on the Sins too much every time there's a problem. He's supposed to the older brother! The-uh- King of Hell! And what King can't even do simple paperwork?

Apparently he is, because he and Adam have been at this for days now and the pile just never seem to lessen. He's beginning to think someone has cursed him to be stuck here forever.

Speaking of Adam, Lucifer won't admit it to his face but the other has been a very big help; like they're actually making progress and none of the work is half-assed too.

He can't help but look on in wonder at how the first man is just zooming through the endless papers.

Adam: Oi. I know I'm a fine piece of art but can you stop lookin' at me like that? Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Lucifer: I just can't get my head around all this.

Adam: What's not to get, bruh? You know I'm good at everything; even the boring shit. I handle Sera's when she's too busy doing fuck knows too, you know!

Lucifer: Excuse- what?! You handled Sera's documents?? And she didn't stop you the first time???

Adam: Okay- why the fuck are you acting like that's such a shock?

Lucifer: Helloooooo it's freakin' Sera? It's you? I just-

Lucifer makes an exaggerated gesture of scratching his head in mock confusion.

Lucifer: -is she out of her mind? Did she suffer some form of brain damage?

Adam: Okay, look. You are making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be, I don't pry into your stupid skills and insecurities.

Lucifer: Bitch, you literally do that all the time!

It was nice, in a weird way, how they're bantering. It almost reminds Lucifer of the first days he came to Eden; how Lilith and Adam pretended for a bit to get along for him.

As an angel, he was taught to see the good in everything. After all, everything was made by Father's hand so why would they be anything less than good and perfect?

They say that God is omnipotent and all-knowing, so he often wonders if his Father intentionally made the humans that way. Still does not explain why he would cast him out when the mistake was in his Father's hands.

Because.

Adam was fun until he said something about Lilith. Adam was fine until he acts like a 'man'. Adam was a friend until he wasn't.

Eden was one hell of a reality check. Pun intended.

Man, was pre-humanity Heaven always been cult-like?

Adam: Bro, how bout you shut up and let me do the work you've forced upon me. And why are you here anyway? I thought you live at that hotel now.

Lucifer: Oh? Would you rather do the work there? I have to warn you; Nifty goes in and out of rooms as she pleases to clean so-

Adam: Ah!!!! Don't say that name!

Lucifer: What? Afraid she's gonna come out of the mirror like some sort of Bloody Mary?

Adam bearing his teeth at him like a wild animal is a funny sight to see but then a got a very genius idea, a literal lightbulb turned on above his head.

Lucifer: Nifty...

Sensing what Lucifer is doing, Adam scrambles up and charges at him. Lucifer dodged him with ease and flies high above the room away from prying hands.

Lucifer: Niftyyyyy~

Adam: Lucifer, stop that shit!

Lucifer: Niffffffffffffffty-

Nifty: Hey guys!

The scream the two let out at the sudden voice were embarrassingly high enough to be mistaken for a teenage girl's.

Adam: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Lucifer: Jesus Christ!

Despite the panic in front of her, the little cyclops just smiled on.

Lucifer: Nifty, what in the world are you doing here?

Adam: Get that thing away from me!

Lucifer: Oh don't be such a baby, it's just Nifty.

Adam: You screamed too, asshole!

He gave Adam a wave to say 'whatever' and turns back to Nifty who has her eyes locked on the panicking demon behind him.

Maybe he should let her have at it at him just a little.

Nifty: I'd love to start a goat collection hehe~

Okay, nevermind. With Adam's surprising skills at organization, he can't afford to die yet until he finishes Lucifer's paperwork.

Lucifer: Uh Nifty, my question?

Nifty: Yes, roach queen?

Lucifer: Roach what? You know what, don't answer that. I asked why are you here.

Nifty: Oh! Miss Charlie is calling for you. Seems pretty urgent.

Lucifer: Did something happen at the hotel?

Nifty: Not really!

Lucifer: So?? What is it???

Nifty: Have you been outside at all, Mr. King?

Lucifer: Well no. We've been holled up all day doing this-

He vaguely gestures to the mess of his office.

Lucifer: And I put up a sound barrier so we wouldn't get distracted. I've also turned off my phone sooooooooOHHHH my god!

What the shit?? 666 missed calls??? Most of them are from Charlie.

Nifty: Said that no one could reach you. The others are trying to calm the panic cause most of the icky demons went straight into the hotel. I wanted to stab them but Miss Charlie told me to just come here and get you!

Probably to prevent bloodshed. His daughter is so smart but-

Lucifer: What actually is happening, Nifty?

Nifty: Oh! The sky is falling!

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Sorry if it's a bit short but I just wanted to write AdamsApple banter and a bit of introspective.

Also, is that a chicken little reference???

Kudos to you if you saw that Spring Broken reference (arguably my fave Helluva Boss episode all because of the creative insults)

[hxzxrdous]

The School for Good and Evil

Platonic Lady Lesso x Never!reader

TW: Anxiety attack, skin picking, OCD

Note: This one is for me, because I suffer from anxiety and a skin picking disorder. Also stream Hold My Hand by Lady Gaga, tee hee !! </33

HOLD MY HAND

You woke up drenched in sweat, the lingering scent of copper from your nightmares permeating the air around your bed. The aged wooden frame creaked as you sat up, your feet hovering above the cold stone floor. Casting a gaze around the dormitory, a realization struck you like a lightning bolt - you had unknowingly slept over your first-class History of Villainy. The mere thought of entering the classroom with all eyes fixed upon you filled you with overwhelming anxiety. The prospect was too dreadful, too mortifying.

Frustration etched across your face, and in a moment of despair, you began absentmindedly picking at your skin, as if trying to alleviate the tension. With a heavy sigh, you realized the state of disarray you had left your hair in. There was no way you could attend class in such a disheveled state. Not like that. You knew that the dean's Doom Room was awaiting for you which made you anxious even more. The possibilities of what she would do to you for skipping class.

Retreating to the bed, you pulled your legs back up and crossed them, continuing to mindlessly pick at your skin. Suddenly, a knock interrupted the silence, causing your head to snap toward the door.

"Y/L/N," Lady Lesso's voice echoed sternly. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to muster a response, but nothing came out. Lowering your gaze, you averted your eyes to the ground, ignoring her calling for you. Growing impatient with your silence, Lady Lesso forcefully swung open the door with her cane, the clicking of her heels drawing nearer and nearer, still unable to meet her piercing stare. That was it. You were convinced you were about to get killed.

"M-ma'am, I-," you whispered, your voice barely audible, while nervously scratching your scalp.

"Speak," the redhead commanded, her arms folded on her hips, her cane firmly in hand. "You got something to say, say it." She spat out.

"I... I can't stop picking at my skin," you replied softly, frustration evident as you ran your fingers through your hair.

Concern flickered across the dean's face as she noticed the wounds on your scalp. "Y/L/N, why do you engage in this behavior? Is there a particular reason behind it?" Her head tilted slightly as she studied you intently.

"I dunno- I get a feeling like I have to smooth out my skin by picking it- C-can't stop," you confessed, your quiet voice barely heard.

"What do you mean by 'a feeling'? Is it akin to an itch or a compulsive urge?" Lady Lesso inquired, her gaze unwavering. "As if you simply have to do it regardless of the consequences?"

"Yes... like a compulsion," you murmured, scratching your scalp in frustration. "Please... I need help."

"I will do my best to help you, but you must also be willing to put in effort, Y/N," the dean stated firmly, crossing her arms. "Now, do you believe you can resist the urge to pick your skin, or is it more of a coping mechanism, a way for you to regain a sense of control?"

You shrugged your shoulders, contemplating the question. "The second one," you replied. "It somehow calms me down, even though I always regret it afterwards." You gestured toward your messy scalp. "It's not about the pain, but like self-soothing, I guess," you tried explaining.

"Alright, I am here to help you," Lady Lesso's voice softened as she moved closer, kneeling in front of you. "Can I hold your hands?"

Sniffling, you glanced at the dean, a hint of confusion in your eyes. However, you extended your hands towards her, allowing her to take hold of them.

"I... I want to do it again so badly..." you cried out, tears welling in your eyes.

"Please don't. It will only cause you harm, and I don't want to see you hurt," the dean implored firmly, holding your hands tightly in hers. "Just take a deep breath and focus on your breath. Can you feel the warmth of my hand? Is it helping you stay calm?"

"I... I guess," you nodded, trying to focus on the sensation of the dean's hands. Your trembling persisted as you fought against the urge to retract your hands and resume your destructive habit.

"Breathe. You're okay," Lady Lesso reassured you, gently stroking your hands with her thumbs, doing what she could do to get you to relax and prevent any further picking. "You are safe here, Y/N. I won't allow anyone to harm you. I promise, you're safe."

"I just... I want to smooth it out," you whimpered, shaking your head in frustration, still holding onto the woman's hands tightly.

"It's alright. We'll work through this together," Lady Lesso spoke softly, her voice brimming with empathy. "I want to help you overcome this, and you're a strong person, I know you can do it. If you start to panic, just remember you are safe here and no one can hurt you, okay?" She continued to gently stroke your hands.

"'S hard... So hard... Wanna do it-" you started trembling even more, Lady Lesso's grip on your hands tightened.

"No, you musn't." the dean's voice grew stern as she held your hands with one hand and lifted your chin with the other. "Look at me, Y/N. Look into my eyes." You locked eyes with Lady Lesso, her unwavering gaze filled with determination and belief. "You are stronger than this, you are beautiful. I know you're trying SO hard not to do it, but you are stronger than you know. I believe in you."

"I... I can't breathe," you mumbled, your words strained as your breathing became rapid and shallow. Your cheeks flushed with heat, visibly turning red, as your breathing quickened.

"Slow down, you're breathing too quickly," Lady Lesso gently picked you up and settled you on her lap, her voice a blend of firmness and tenderness, laced with concern and reassurance. "Take slow, deep breaths. Can you do that for me?" You nodded, attempting to mimic the woman's breathing pattern. "Nice and slow, Y/N. Inhale... and exhale."

"I... I'm trying, ma'am," you managed to utter between breaths, your palms becoming increasingly clammy to the touch.

"Keep trying, I've got you, little one," Lady Lesso cooed, cradling you in her arms as if you were a small child, offering comfort despite your teenage years. "Your breathing is improving. Keep it up for me, just a little longer," she soothed, gently stroking your hair. "You're going to be alright, Y/N. Remember, you are safe here."

"I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to," you attempted to pull away, but Lady Lesso held you closer, refusing to let you go.

"Y/N, there's no need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong," she whispered, continuing to rock you back and forth. "I'm not angry with you, I promise. Not at all." Her voice radiated understanding and love, ensuring that you knew you were safe and accepted. The warmth from her touch spread through your body as she tenderly stroked your hair.

"I'm... I'm so tired," you murmured, your body growing limp as you nestled into the dean's embrace, your eyes fluttering shut.

The redhead sighed softly, continuing to sway you gently. "Rest now, my dear," Lady Lesso spoke softly. "You've done well. I'm proud of you." She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "We'll talk more when you've had a chance to relax, alright?"

[n--n]

So can you elaborate on the lyrics of Poison being uninspired? I think a big problem with them is that there’s supposed to be a dramatic switch up in tone at the end, but it’s not actually big because the song has no dark subtext, the darkness is pure text. You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end.

Addict was something people could have actually comfortably danced to in the club, which makes it hit when the concept is flipped to the dark side of itself, and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life. Angel wasn’t happy before the ending of Poison so why is the song suddenly sad now like anything has changed?

But to me the lyrics seem unique enough. Like I can’t say any of them are cliches or platitudes. Though it kind of annoys me that the second verse like a regular pop song, but a real pop song has eight lines in verse one, this one has six and the Yeah yeah yeahs don’t count, so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete. That could be an example of it being uninspired.

Thank you for this ask it gives me an excuse to surgically open this song and really understand why it bothers me so much. Also it's 12 and I haven't rewatched it in a while so I might come back tomorrow and rewrite this so take it w a grain of salt sorry abt that.

In a nutshell- it's uninspired to me bc its such a nothingburger of a song. Like what do we get from it that we don't already know about Angel- either from the show itself, side content like the Addict video, or even from posts about him? Nothing. And lyrics aside, although the beat is good it's just a generic pop tune like Addict was a generic Kesha tune ya'know? Nothing about the melody particularly stood out to me as unique on its own or helping the storytelling. Even the fact that it's so upbeat in spite of the lyrics and visuals works against it when it gets towards the end and fails at trying to surprise you that it's sad.

"...so the second verse has an odd number of lines and just feels incomplete"

^^See thank you for articulating this bc I don't actually know much about how to articulate my thoughts on music, but this does help me make sense of why the actual tune just didn't grab me/felt off.

Also, going w/ the comparison to All You Wanna Do again- it's uninspired in that it also tries to do the thing where it makes a character use sexual innuendo to cope/describe the sa but falls so flat. Like,

"So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp

Yeah, I know it's poison You're feedin' me poison I'm chokin' from the taste and I can't help but swallow Up your poison I made my choice and Every night I'm wasted like there's no tomorrow"

Angel Dust does his dance as he sings this-and the images of him in his fetish gear/parts of the assault appear on screen, and he even poses in the positions it's implied he's being assaulted in. Like, was ALL of that necessary when the lyrics are already telling us directly what's happening to him??? Katherine made sex jokes abt her sa too, but we get to see her as her own character outside of the assaults and we learn so much about her pov, how it affected her entire life, etc. I feel like I wouldn't find it even that egregious if we had gotten to have scenes where the audience gets to see Angel be himself outside of the performative mask he wears+his suffering, but he was only used for cheap sex jokes when interacting w the others at the hotel. And now in his song, he redundantly sings abt his situation which we have already been shown:

"I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear Yeah, yeah, yeah"

We saw his conflict w Husk over how fake he is, saw him placate Val over the phone, and I can't recall if we saw him disassociate but regardless. The point is we know all this, it didn't need to be a song let alone a whole music video. If we left the scene after Val abused Angel in the backroom and made Charlie leave it would have been waaayyyyy more weighty and foreboding than this song/MV.

ALSO:

"You can’t have a character say “My stories gonna end with me dead from your poison” then expect us to be shocked when the song gets sad in the end." + "...and it fits thematically, because it’s him coming down from his high, and he’s taking in what’s become of his life."

^^^^THIS!! They really tried leaning into the tragedy of his situation but really just ended up making him a tool for whump instead. Addict was put together wayyy better musically, thematically and visually- it actually felt impactful when we're left with Angel Dust crying on the bed w his pet comforting him, whereas Poison leaving him on the ground left me feeling nothing but annoyance.

[bigblueoctoling]

Side Order Observations about Acht

Some reiterating of points, an analysis of our New Canon, some speculating on the timeline, and a little bit of headcanon.

So first and foremost to reiterate, I really feel like a lot of people are overfixated on the idea of Acht's reaction to Marina and Pearl's relationship being funny. To me, after going through everything, it feels like they're genuinely just trying not to be discomforted by it.

Consider the fact that Acht pretty clearly displays a low self esteem, after everything; a part of why Marina's escape hurt Acht is because of a sense of abandonment- one has to imagine they would feel like they weren't worth saving. Especially given that Acht sunk low enough to become sanitized willingly.

I dunno. To me, none of this really reads as "funny", it's tragic. And there's nothing really to do about it- Pearl is obviously a great partner for Marina- it doesn't feel like Acht has any animosity towards her. A lot of the Funny Jokes about Acht being a Hater feel very rotten to me as a result.

I feel like there's a great amount of meaning to Acht finally being able to sing with their own voice. Mind you, a decent amount of that has to do with my own complexities with my voice, but as someone who had their worthlessness cemented into them their entire life, it's a big step to be able to move forward and present your true self openly.

I don't mean to sound like I'm just venting that people aren't appreciating Acht enough, but it really feels like a lot of people just take them as like a Funny Joke Character and don't take them seriously at all. A lot of this story is about Acht's struggle with self worth. The difference between suffering in silence as long as it meant things were stable, or changing everything into an uncertain future for the sake of bettering things.

I can't help but wonder if Acht somehow fought their way into being here- as I've established previously, it's very nebulous how exactly Acht got *into* the Memverse. But beyond that, the fact that they had made #35 caught is strange, too. One has to assume timeline-wise this happened before Side Order, but... how? If reports of the low-tide party can be considered canon, their music was there as well.

It might be related to the fact that they bring up Pearl's killer wail during the finale of Octo Expansion- seemingly, that was able to reach them while they were sanitized. Perhaps that was able to return some amount of control to them? Likely not entirely, but enough to ambulate without external orders, perhaps.

It's also very strange, to me, that Acht somehow managed to be hurt prior to Eight's arrival, and moreover, that this injury seemed to incapacitate them? While I'm at it, a few theories for that:

Acht's lack of their own Palette (as mentioned in my previous post, due to sharing one with Eight, theoretically) causes them to not actually be considered by the program as a Real Person, and as such, it just doesn't Heal her.

Acht got hurt, and simply Gave Up. Seeing no way to handle this threat on their own and not really having the willpower to fight it.

The story of them getting hurt by a Jelleton was a lie, for whatever reason, and the scar already existed one way or another. After all, the Jelletons don't exactly seem capable of physical injury like that?

Each theory offers an interesting amount of potential, and ultimately it could go either way. Regardless, the cut is very strange.

So, where does Acht end up after everything, exactly? It's kind of implied that Acht did, in fact, go on the world tour with Marina and Pearl and Eight. Again, I have to ask- Marina, Pearl, and Eight all entered intentionally, where was Acht? My only real idea here is back with the "Eight and Acht share a soul and ergo this process automatically pulls Acht in too" theory, so I have to presume she's still in the NILS statue, one way or another. But going off of the map, there's evidently a subway line that leads to the deepsea now, so I have to presume it wouldn't be TOO hard, but it'd still be a bit of an ordeal to find her and get her out on her own. Just a tidbit of writing I'll definitely do once I fic this all out.

But where does Acht go afterward? I can't really help but want to just also put her with Marina and Pearl. The language of her letter implies they don't immediately live together, though. I can't really imagine Marina and Pearl wouldn't do SOMETHING to help Acht integrate into normal society, though. Then again, Acht does produce music which, evidently enough, is at least moderately popular. It's not out of the question for her to get her own place, nor is it out of the question to imagine, as much as Acht loves The Gang, they wouldn't want to feel like a burden on them, regardless of that actually being possible given their Immense Mountains of Wealth. Either way, I don't think I can come to a conclusion here, I'll have to think about it.

I just love love love Acht so much and I really hope that people appreciate them as much as I do. Even if I am greatly biased.

[good-beanswrites]

I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.

Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.

When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs. 

Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off. 

He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone. 

If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.

Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts. 

He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.

Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below. 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken… 

Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones. 

He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down. 

He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?

A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead. 

He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?

Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”

As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.

Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!” 

Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there. 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?

He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?

The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him. 

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.

—

“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed. 

He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.

She didn’t. 

Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said,  “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“But--”

“-- But I’m better, yeah.”

Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing. 

“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.

She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”

“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.

After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts. 

“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.

“They almost killed me. You saved me.”

[yuseirra]

Onk spoilers!! (Vague) Jotting down what I make of 162~ writing clears thoughts and helps me wrap things up and understand things. Here's my attempt in trying to make out what Kamiki is. He's so confusing lol

Stream of consciousness~~

The guy in the chorus in IDOL though.. That is probably Kamiki...that IS a realization I get.

So Ai is that kind of person to him huh,

Can I actually pity this guy? Or is he a character that's not meant to be taken that way? What is the message they want to give, the intent behind this? Is this emotions he's having another type of obsession that should be left at that? Like I say over and over, then it's better without 154 because in that case, it'd be more straightforward enough to have some sort of moral. "Don't idolize people to the level of erasing their individuality and and just accept them as a person."

How does this guy take of Ai? What should I make of him? It's not a matter of being complex or not, it just doesn't make sense to me for the time being.

So does he want to get her back because she's a person he really "loves" and he just couldn't bear living in a world where she doesn't exist or is it that he deems her too special, like someone who's different from him that he could not reach, to the point of it becoming an obsession, fixation or worship? Maybe both ideas can sorta somehow coexist?; Can it?

Well, this was a guy who kept saying him and Ai "were the same". That was the basis I had as I interpreted him but, "becoming closer to her", huh... For me, it feels like he wanted to feel her as "reality" after Ai's passed. Like, he really wanted to have some sense of Ai actually being there in the world. That should be what he means by having "weight".

In that case, he IS trying to get back what he's lost... And it IS similar to the sense of wanting to bring her back from the dead but there is no way for that to happen in this world so he's clung onto false hope. He really did grow very crazy after having lost her.

I'm trying to understand his analogy in a psychological sense, yeah, if it is this, then it can make sense, but why make a character like this... What good reason is there to make someone suffer this much AND make him even go as becoming a perpetrator beyond saving(if he is?)

Okay.. I come to the conclusion that he really wants Ai to "exist". That seems to be what he wants. That IS something pretty sad. But making someone like that go this far? For what? Aqua was in this for Ai's revenge at first but, it's not about her revenge now anymore in this case, right? Because the one that he thinks of avenging is the one that actually wants to have a sense of her "being there" in a sense, Kamiki wants her to live. If Ai was alive, he wouldn't be doing any of these things in the first place.

Oh... the English cover for Fatal is so golden. It goes: "I can't bear to live when I know you've gone away, I'll surely give up anything, no matter what it takes!"

That is exactly how he feels about Ai. I can sense that well. So losing her destroyed this guy to bits. Only fragments of what he's used to be are left in this sense, he really couldn't live in a world without her, was it. Wow, Fatal does describe him perfectly...

Shouldn't the ones that caused this to happen be brought to light too, then? They surely must. Regardless of whether this guy lives or dies, he wasn't originally this broken. He really wasn't this mad. He used to be so kind. Can you really call this "delivering justice"? This is so cruel... If he's done horrible things, then yes, let him rot and burn in hell but, what about what's caused a person to be this broken? How will that be ever resolved and punished? How can it be made better compared to where it left off from? Kamiki is clearly despairing to the point of insanity. This guy's so hurt. Beyond repair maybe, but no one can tend to his loss. Not a single person is there to help him. In the past, there was only Ai. Now, he still has nothing. He could be blamed for a lot of things but he really doesn't have things to live for. (By the way, why was he so attentive to the twins?? Why does he know about them so well? He knows so much about Aqua? What was that about him having paternal love huh? I was pretty sure that he does have it, there were signs)

Yeah...after thinking about this calmly, I can see WHY Ai wanted him to be helped. Can he be though? I've always been asking that because they NEVER show us what he's actually did. He became so different after losing Ai?? They display that in a painfully obvious way now and it's pretty terrible what they make of him. Should they have never met? I don't ever think the story should head in that direction because that'd imply it's wrong for idols to have tried to find love, Ai got murdered because she chose to love. That can't be it.

I have to make sense of a character's mental state in order to create fan works of them, yeah... For now, this is what I make of him. I'm not sure if he's worth sympathizing or pitying(really hope so) in an objective manner, it's a sad situation though.

I think society is what's ruined him. He really might be the god who's been tainted by the malice of people, I would appreciate it if they really brought in that sort of analogy? If they want to tie in the idea of gods. They're so mean on him... He never got to be happy when he was just happy from having one person with him by his side, they couldn't even let him have that and now they make him a monster.

He got two songs so I think he's loved though? So let's see if we get more things about him later on. For the time being, I think I got a little better grasp on how his mind is functioning compared to the way I did this morning. Still don't get it entirely.. But I think I partly understand what he's going for.

[slashthrashandcrash]

Do you yave any HC's for Meg? Both in and out of trials perhaps?

In General:

ADHD queen I love her

If her coach hadn't helped reign her in, she very nearly would have gone down the same path as Joey from Legion - impulsive, high energy, rebellious, way too eager to vandalize a cop car just because someone told her to lmao

She was way more focused as a kid and only started becoming reckless once her mother's diagnostic went terminal, because then she needed every opportunity to distract herself from the inevitable heartbreak

Lived in a trailer park with her mom

Never got her license and really doesn't plan to ever learn how to drive a car, a passenger princess for life

Great core and lower body strength but absolute trash arm muscles

Only 20, can't even purchase a beer for herself yet, but that hasn't stopped her from doing keg stands since she was a junior in high school

Trial Related:

She's closest to the other original three survivors due to how tight knit they had to be in the fog, before the camp started to expand into the dozens. Now so many conflicting personalities and timelines and griefs can be overwhelming to manage if you try to be everyone's friend

Sometimes to break the tension, she'll ask the other survivors in a selected trial if they wanna bet/race on who can either fix the most gens or find the hatch the fastest (regardless if they get killed or not)

She times herself for nearly every task in order to keep herself focused and grounded

Knows that she's probably gonna be used as bait to get a killer off another survivor's ass, even if some days she really doesn't feel like it and wish the favor could be returned for once...

Her least favorite killer is Pig because that bitch is fast as fuck and uses stealth to get the jump on Meg. Her second least favorite is Xenomorph because jesus fucking christ

Has more than one occasion tripped, ate shit, and then immediately got hooked

And Because I'm A GhostMeg Bitch:

Still has to be bait to save the other survivors but at least she doesn't have to worry about getting mori'd when Ghostface eventually corners her

If she ever leaves a trial before everyone else has made it out, Ghostface will be sure to be extra excruciating with his kills on whoever is left, so she always hangs back until she's certain no one has to suffer his "pouting"

She'll die before she ever admits she feels a teeny bit relieved when Ghostface is the killer because she knows she'll make it out alive and mostly unscathed

When she wants to get under his skin, she'll ignore him the entire trial, no matter how much he whines or throws her friends on hooks (sorry for being collateral damage)

Never leaves a trial with less than one hickey

If the other survivors haven't seen a killer all trial, complete the generators with no interruptions, and make it through the gates without a single scratch, then they know there's a locker rockin' somewhere on the map and they will be mercilessly teasing Meg for it when she comes back to the campfire

[danyayeni2]

♡✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚ How they fall in love with you

Characters: Romeo, Juliet, (G/N reader)

(REBLOGS APPRECIATED!) (Cred: @/sseuda)

Romeo Montague swore that the stars didn't look as beautiful as your eyes, as you rambled to him about poetry. "My teacher said my poem needed some work, but I don't understand! What could it need fixing? I thought I had done well!" "My love, I know you have done well! In fact, I can help you with poetry! I'll even-" "Woah, there, Romie! I don't want you to overwork yourself for me!" 𒂭 you knew that he has a tendency to overdo things when it comes to you, and considering his luck (and naivety), things were either going to be a stairway to heaven, or a highway to hell. But he didn't care! If you told him to carry the earth on his back, he wouldn't even ask twice.

𒂭 If you thought Romeo was loyal to you then, you'd be shocked at how loyal he is to you now. He'd obey anything you say, regardless of whatever his family, friends, or whatever Verona says. You weren't a rich person, like his family? Great! He'll spoil you! You're emotional and can't stand fighting! He's the same way! (twiiiiin, where have you been?) You weren't in a mafia? That's okay, he's not much of a fighter either! (Unless someone threatens you, then he'd lay his, and whoever threatened you, life on the line.) 𒂭 You didn't really know how this all happened, he just shared an English class with you, and he was so....happy? He always tuned in with the teacher, and he even helped you when you felt like an outsider in the class! He reminded you of a golden retriever, and he still does! 𒂭 His love language are words of affirmation. He's good at loving in other ways, don't get him wrong, but he's perfect at smooth talking, especially on nights where you two are goofing off. At this point, can you even tell if you two are friends, or if you're dating?

𒂭 And DON'T get me started on his family. Sampson and Gregory were always teasing him, or trying to give YOU hints. They always found it funny when Romeo would blush as you leaned into him, questioning if he had a fever. They love their little cousin, but they also love to see him suffer. 𒂭 Benvolio was actually pretty normal! He respected Romeo's crush on you, and always made you feel welcome! He'd drive you around Verona with Romeo and acted kind of like a bodyguard to both of you! He felt like an older brother to you, and he even told you about Romeo's plushie that he still sleeps with! (You found it endearing!) Of course, Romeo would be as red as a strawberry, while happily showing you his plushies!

𒂭 Mercutio was the WORST. God, he's the one gossiping ALL about Romeo to you. "Did I ever tell you about when Romeo screamed when he saw a spider-" "SHUT UP, MERCUTIO." Mercutio would go shopping with you and Romeo, and all he'd do is grin at Romeo, while Romeo would continuously avoid his gaze, and walk faster with you so Mercutio wouldn't gossip anymore about him to you.

𒂭 Romeo also "lowkey" loves the idea of marriage. He wants to spend his whole life with you, and what better way to do just that by buying you a custom ring with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, his hair slicked and styled, and a nice suit? Yep, definitely lowkey.

𒂭 Needless to say, he's head over heels for you, as if you couldn't tell, with how much he's given you.

(Cred: @/fairytopea)

Juliet Capulet giggled as she fangirled over a book with you. Her cousins were out doing something for her father, her mother was out with Nurse for something, and it was only you, her, and a few butlers and maids.

"Juli, the ending was already overdone! We've seen it in the last two other books!" "Yeah, but that's what makes it so beautiful! Even though it's been repeated, it doesn't lessen the message!" "And what would that message be, huh?" You asked her, while she laid her head on your lap. "I think it's.......it's.....", she looked into your eyes, with a smile, "Love." ₊˚⊹♡ Juliet loved spending time with you thoroughly, and THAT was saying something. She loves her family and her friends from that school her father was an alumnus in, but they all annoyed her! They're all some prissy rich kids who are mean, cruel, and feels self-entitled, but you're different than them. You were wearing a nice outfit, and Juliet quickly broke away from her family, while double checking to see if any could see her and complimented your clothes. Then, you two rambled about books. Then, aquariums. Then, seashells. And ever since then, it was history. ₊˚⊹♡ Her family started to see you more and more, and while they didn't trust you at first, they soon felt relieved that you were with her. Juliet needed someone her age to interact with instead of Nurse all of the time, and Nurse needed a break to relax. And as for Juliet, well, she felt relieved and less trapped. Someone her age, interacting with her??? Interested in the things SHE likes??? She would've never expected this!

₊˚⊹♡ She didn't really know the feeling of love, until she told Nurse, and she was quick to hide it. She knew her father had expectations to uphold, and even though she just wanted to spend her life with you, she knew that being with you was even more dangerous. If it wasn't the mafia, it was her father, or how the people in Verona would think of you being with her. Not to mention, the Montagues. If you're seen with her, they could attack you too. She hated not wanting to explicitly express herself, but she tried doing it other ways, specifically, quality time! ₊˚⊹♡ Juliet always made sure to call you, text you, and even invite you over to dinner! She always made sure you went to the Capulet parties, and that you danced with her! ₊˚⊹♡ She loves going to the library with you, and you still haven't noticed that she's buying more romance genre centered books! Well, she always had, but those were like fairytales compared to the books you'd read. This time, she wanted to recommend you some books, so you could admire her knowledge on your favorite genre! She loved hearing you ramble too! She just...well...wish she understood what you were talking about in most of them...

₊˚⊹♡ Speaking of libraries, she was close with the librarians, so they always gave her a free book on whatever your interest was! Sewing, got it. Music, tons of book on music theory. Art, the book might as well be a mini museum. ₊˚⊹♡ She didn't know exactly what made her fall in love with you, besides how nice you were, and how you'd listen to her rants about her life and her struggles, but she loved you thoroughly.

(cred: @/floriseu)

A/N: Since I've written for Tybalt and Mercutio, I've decided to branch off to other characters x reader, so why not start with our titular characters, Romeo and Juliet? Honestly, these were pretty quick, but I HAD to write for them. I've been planning on it anyways, so this was a fun little thing.

I hope you enjoyed it!