#but i just Cannot bring myself to go. we'll see but it's not looking good atm

[skrunksthatwunk]

i shouldn't drop out i shouldn't drop out i don't want to drop out i like college i like it i like it i shouldn't drop out

[ukiyowi]

Channelled Messages 💌

Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse, Closest Friends, Spirit Guides, and Future Self

Note: Please DM me if you want a reading I am going to be putting a discount on all my readings because I am in a rough spot financially and need to pay money for my room which I was not aware of earlier and could be kicked out if I don't at the earliest. Book a reading || Tip me! (Ko-fi)

♡ Future Spouse

♡ Closest Friends

♡ Spirit Guides

♡ Future Self

Future Spouse

💌 Pile 1

My Love,

I imagine us walking hand in hand through the seasons of life, supporting each other through every victory and challenge. Together, we will create a collage of memories, painting the canvas of our shared life with love, laughter, and endless adventures.

I promise to be your biggest cheerleader, your confidant in times of doubt, and your unwavering support through thick and thin. I vow to cherish and respect you for the unique individual that you are, appreciating both your strengths and your vulnerabilities.

You are scarred right now but theres no reason to be. You are so filled with love and light and everything good, just because someone else cannot see it does not mean it doesnt exist. If I could bring you the moon and the stars I would in an instant. I don't think there has ever been or will ever be someone who is as bright as you.

Please take care of your health, you cannot make excuses for bad habits and keep living life like that, no matter how stressful work or life is please make time for yourself. We still have a while to meet so take care of yourself for both you and I.

Song: It's a Shame - The Spinners

💌 Pile 2

Hey Darling,

Our connection, I believe, will be deeper than words can express. It will be built on trust, respect, and a genuine desire to see each other flourish. While I can't predict the future, I am steadfast in my commitment to cherishing every moment we have together.

We have met before, I don't think you remember me, but I do. your beauty had me stunned and so did your mannerisms. I admire the way you carry yourself, with so much dignity and poise, as if the personification of grace itself were standing in front of me, sweeping me off of my feet.

I will shower you with anything you want, praise, adoration, gifts, love, time, energy, and be there whenever you need. Life is probably fun for you right now, unfortunately for me the road is a little rocky. Enjoy this time with your friends and family, your loved ones truly care about you and want what's best for you even if they can't articulate it well.

Stay strong butterflly and look for me in your dreams, I promise to be a frequent visitor. hope you likfe sunflowers, lillies, and magnolias angel.

Song: Mango bananas - Flyana Boss

💌 Pile 3

Hi sweetheart!!

I have a feeling that when we finally meet, there's going to be a bell that rings making us instantly know like it did in Your Name, also hope you like animation because I love it, I also really like drawing and art, do you? Please say yes!

Life seems to be going too fast for you right now so you need to make sure that you don't lose yourself in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Calm down and do things you enjoy, maybe you'll like pottery!

But beyond the laughter and silliness, I want you to know that I'm dead serious about creating a remarkable life together. We'll support each other's dreams, even if they involve opening a cat cafe or becoming professional trampoline testers (hey, it's a thing, right?). We'll navigate the ups and downs of life hand in hand, and I promise to be your rock when you need it most.

Song: Glue Song - beabadoobee

xoxo

Closest Friends

💌 Pile 1

Life has been quite the rollercoaster lately, filled with its usual ups and downs. I've had my fair share of challenges, but there have also been some incredible moments that I wish I could have shared with you in person.

I often find myself reminiscing about the good old days when we used to spend hours talking and laughing about anything and everything . Those memories are some of my most cherished, and I truly miss you.

Please know that no matter where life takes us or how much time passes, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Your friendship has been a source of strength, laughter, and endless support, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

Let's make a promise to catch up soon, whether it's over a cup of coffee or a long, heartfelt phone call. I genuinely look forward to hearing how you've been and sharing all the stories we've missed out on.

With love,

Initials may include: R, P, W, Q, L

Song: Window - Still Woozy

💌 Pile 2

Leaving behind the place we've called home for so long is both exciting and bittersweet. While new opportunities wait and adventures call, it's hard not to feel a tinge of sadness at the thought of being farther away from you.

Although physical distance may separate us, please know that you will always hold a special place in my life. Our bond is not defined by geography but by the strong connection we share.

And the internet exists so we'll be fine right? You promise to not lose touch with me even when we're both busy? I promise I will remember to call you, if not daily then weekly, please don't forget me.

I wish you could join me and we could embark on this together but life has its ways of separating the best people we've met so that we are forced to widen our horizons and social circles lol, hope it's not too much for either you or me.

Will miss you,

Initials pulled: A, J, M, S, K

Song: Missin something - Zach Templar

💌 Pile 3

I love the days we've shared and I wish to share so many more with you in the future, god I am so so so excited for everything thats to come!

Do you remember that time we decided to go on that impromptu road trip? No plans, no GPS, just a car full of snacks, good music, and an unshakable belief that we'd find our way eventually. We got lost more times than I can count, but it was so much fun and truly unforgettable.

And how about those late-night conversations that somehow turned into early-morning confessions? We've solved the world's problems over a cup of lukewarm coffee more times than I can recall. The neighbors must have wondered if we were running a 24-hour café.

As I sit here reminiscing about these and countless other memories, I can't help but smile. Our friendship has been a rollercoaster of laughter, silliness, and genuine connection. And I wouldn't trade a single moment of it for anything in the world.

Sending you a virtual high-five and a whole lot of fond memories, here's to hundreds more, and don't forget about the promise we made about the weddings okay?

Your platonic soulmate,

Initials may include: G, H, B, L, T

Song: Right Here, For Now - Bakar

xoxo

Spirit Guides

💌 Pile 1

Embrace change with an open heart and a curious mind. Life is a series of shifts and transitions, and it's in these moments of change that growth and self-discovery thrive. Trust in your ability to adapt and evolve, for you possess the resilience needed to navigate uncharted waters.

As you progress in your career, always remember that your passion and purpose are the compass that should guide you. Pursue work that aligns with your values and fulfills your soul. Don't be afraid to explore different paths and take calculated risks. Each experience contributes to your growth and wisdom.

Learning is a lifelong journey, and each lesson learned is a stepping stone to your personal and professional development. Stay committed to your goals, and never underestimate the power of continued learning.

There may be moments of doubt or uncertainty along the way, but listen to your heart's desires and the quiet whispers of your soul, for they will guide you toward your true purpose.

Above all, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Success is not defined by a straight path but by the lessons learned along the way. Embrace each setback as an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.

Song: Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift

💌 Pile 2

In matters of the heart, we see the longing in your soul for a deep and meaningful connection. First and foremost, we urge you to be patient with yourself. Love is a delicate dance, and it often takes time to find the right partner who truly understands and appreciates you.

As you seek love, remember the importance of self-love. Nurture your own well-being, both physically and emotionally. Don't be insecure about your quirks and imperfections, for they are the qualities that make you beautifully you. When you love yourself wholeheartedly, you become a magnet for the love you desire.

When it comes to romantic relationships, let go of preconceived notions and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. Love can appear in unexpected places and forms. Stay open to meeting new people and exploring connections that may not fit your usual "type." Sometimes, the greatest love stories are the ones that defy expectations.

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Be brave in expressing your feelings, needs, and desires. Equally important, listen to your partner with an open heart. True intimacy is born from understanding and genuine connection.

Whoever, you're thinking of, is not the one, set the standards high and do not settle for something that does not align with what you can give as well.

Song: Scared - Jeremy Zucker

💌 Pile 3

Know that you are never alone. We are always by your side, watching over you, and guiding you in subtle ways. We see your potential and your inner light, and we are here to help you recognize and nurture these gifts.

Trust in your intuition, for it is the voice of your soul and the channel through which we communicate with you. In times of uncertainty, turn inward and listen to the whispers of your heart, for they will lead you toward your true path.

Embrace the lessons that life presents, for they are opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Challenges are not obstacles but stepping stones on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.

Surround yourself with positive influences and kindred spirits who uplift and support your journey. Let go of relationships that drain your energy and hinder your growth. Create a circle of love and support that nurtures your soul.

Find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Take time to savor a cup of tea, watch a sunrise, or feel the grass beneath your feet. These moments of presence are where true happiness resides.

Song: July - Noah Cyrus

xoxo

Future Self

💌 Pile 1

Darling, I cannot even start to tell you how good life is right now for me, and eventually for you. I know you are currently going through a rough patch, and as cliche as this sounds, I want you to know that every storm you're weathering now is bringing you closer to the sunshine that awaits you.

In my time, I've seen how the challenges you're facing today have shaped you into the resilient, compassionate, and wise person I've become. The setbacks you're experiencing are not roadblocks; they are stepping stones leading you to the life you've always dreamed of.

You may feel lost, uncertain, and at times overwhelmed, but trust me, these moments are your greatest teachers. They are guiding you towards a deeper understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the incredible strength that lies within you.

One day, you will look back on this period of your life and realize that it was a transformative journey, a cocoon in which you underwent a profound metamorphosis. You'll emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more in tune with your inner self.

The relationships you're nurturing now, the lessons you're learning, and the self-care you're embracing will all become pillars of the beautiful life that awaits you. You'll find yourself surrounded by a supportive and loving community that cherishes you for exactly who you are.

Song: See you Again - Tyler, The Creator

💌 Pile 2

I am sorry, but things are not going the way you would have hoped they would. However, rejection is just redirection, okay? Although things are looking rough for me right now, which, for you, is in the future, I want you to know that this tough phase will lead you to a place of strength and growth.

Life can be incredibly challenging at times, and I wish I could spare you from some of the hardships I'm currently facing. But remember, every setback, every disappointment, is an opportunity for growth and learning. It's through these tough moments that we discover our resilience and develop the wisdom to make better choices in the future.

I want you to hold onto hope, even when it feels like all hope is lost. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome adversity. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones who will help you weather the storm.

Stay patient and kind to yourself. It's easy to be critical during challenging times, but self-compassion is crucial. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you offer to others.

I am working on something thats a dream of ours right now, and I am seeing signs that it may end up succeeding soon or at least kick off, and I still love designing and art as much as you do right now, although I barely have time for myself right now.

Song: Not in that way - Sam Smith

💌 Pile 3

Okay, so maybeee we should reel it in a little with how much you are overworking yourself because it is having a bad effect on me, aka future you. Yep, I'm here to tell you that all those late nights, skipped meals, and stress-induced hair-pulling moments are not doing us any favors down the line.

I get it, you're hustling, chasing dreams, and making things happen in the here and now, and that's commendable. But trust me, I've been there, done that, and I can assure you that I'd appreciate a little less burnout and a lot more balance in our past.

You see, life isn't just about reaching goals; it's about enjoying the journey too. So, let's make a pact to take breaks, breathe deeply, and relish the simple pleasures. Remember, it's not all about the destination; the detours and pit stops are just as important.

And don't worry, I'm not trying to cramp your style here; I just want us to have the best possible adventures together, full of energy, laughter, and great stories. So, let's find that sweet spot where hard work meets self-care, and where the future "us" can look back and be happy about the past "you" for making wise choices.

Also please stop pulling all nighters its not doing any wonders for our skin, and even an extensive 10 step skincare routine does not do as much as a good nights sleep can.

Song: While we're yound - Jhene Aiko

xoxo

[heavyhitterheaux]

Riders Up

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Synopsis: It's the 150th Kentucky Derby, and knowing how important this event is to Jack, you make a point to make it extra special for him.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The week leading up to the Kentucky Derby which is the first installment of the Triple Crown and the actual Derby day was always hectic in the Harlow household. This year was no different.

Jack had changed his outfit at least four times when you finally made an executive decision for him otherwise, the two of you would have missed the derby all together. Because of you having to help him, it now put you behind in doing your make-up and hair. Your dress was red this year and you and Taylor had decided to wear similar dresses. 

This was the first year that the triplets would be going with you and Jack and you were definitely nervous to have them around that many people. They were only ten months old and were now to the phase of getting into anything that they could get their tiny hands on. At first, you and Jack had decided not to bring them, but when Maggie and Brian volunteered to go to watch them specifically, you both quickly agreed. Jack bought out a suite that was near the finish line that's exclusive to family and friends and that made you a little less worried.

Since moving to Louisville at the age of fourteen, you hadn't missed one yet, but this year was going to be extra special. This had actually been in the works close to three years and you couldn’t wait to tell Jack when all of you got to Churchill Downs. It had been hard keeping a secret from him since you literally told him everything, but you knew that the look on his face was going to be worth it. 

You combined your love of animals with Jack's love of going to the Kentucky Derby and purchased a horse who had been training to compete in The Triple Crown races. It was an expensive and lengthy process, and you were hoping all the time and effort put into it would pay off later in the day once the finish line was crossed. And of course since racehorses have very unique names, there was only one that came to mind that made the most sense.

Private Garden.

Your thoughts were then interrupted by Jack for the millionth time that morning, although you didn’t mind. 

“Baby! Does this look okay?” Jack asked as he slipped on his suit jacket and walked over towards you. This had been going on for the last hour and a half as you were currently sitting in your robe at your vanity while finishing up your makeup.

“Why do you keep asking me if you look okay? Are you meeting up with a girl I don't know about? Who are you trying to impress? At this rate, we'll be late because of you and not me with all these outfit changes. I didn't realize that we were at a fashion show.” You playfully asked and all he did was frown before sucking his teeth.

“Stop playing!”

“I was just asking!” You said while holding up your hands in defense. Jack was still pouting so you stood up and made a motion for him to bend down.

You softly kissed him and as you pulled away, you smiled at him before pinching his cheek. 

“My man looks so good that if we didn't have anywhere to be right now, we would be working on baby number four.” You whispered against his lips as you kissed him again.

“I mean, we have time….”

“No, Jackman. I still need to get dressed myself so cut it out.”

“I did get a private suite with a private bathroom.”

All you did was stare at him before rolling your eyes and then untying your robe and dropping it in front of him.

“Are you SERIOUS right now? You tell me no and then take off your robe in front of me?”

“I have to get dressed.” You shrugged before going to the hanger and taking off the red dress that you specifically got for today.

“You owe me later.”

“Hmm, we'll see who owes who. Now go downstairs and wait for me because you cannot be trusted.”

“Just let me put the tip in.”

“NO, JACKMAN.”

Maggie and Brian had gotten the triplets last night so the two of you didn't have to worry about getting them ready as well. Axel would have on an outfit similar to Jack’s since he had packed multiple not knowing which one that he was going to end up choosing while Ivy and Autumn would both be wearing red like you were. When Jack was satisfied with his outfit, he sent a pic to Maggie to let her know which one to pick out for Axel. 

Jack would have taken up too much time anyway if you had to get the triplets ready too with his four outfit changes and everyone would have been late.

When the two of you had finally arrived at Churchill Downs, pictures were taken along the red carpet before Jack had led both of you to the suite that he had purchased to meet up with everyone else. The triplets of course were being passed around and Autumn was loving the attention while Ivy was in her own little world and Axel looked completely over it and was soon reaching out his chubby hands towards Jack who quickly took him from Shloob. 

“Your twin definitely missed you.” You said towards Jack as you pinched Axel’s cheek and he smiled at you before laying his head down on Jack’s shoulder.

“Only because he got to him first.”

“Clay! Don’t start!” Jack replied as he rolled his eyes at Clay who was sipping on a mint julep.

“I didn’t say anything but the truth.”

“The two of you don’t even let up during Derby week, my goodness.” You quietly said as you rubbed your temples while listening to the both of them. 

They continued to go back and forth while you went to sit next to Taylor and Maggie who also had mint juleps in their hands.

“Mama Maggie, are you sure that you don’t want your oldest back?” You asked while glancing over at him and Clay.

“Oh, I’m sure. 100% sure actually. He’s all yours now even though I know it probably feels like you have four children instead of three.”

“MOM! I HEARD THAT!” Jack exclaimed while looking over at the three of you as she held up her hands in defense.

“You’re the reason why I started drinking.”

“I thought that was Clay.” Jack said while pointing at him and Clay immediately rolled his eyes.

“Babe, I highly doubt that it was Clay, you did nothing but stress her out for eighteen years.”

“Oh, he still does at 26. Absolutely nothing has changed and I highly doubt that it ever will.”

“Now, when you asked me to babysit did you mean the triplets or Jack and Urban?” Taylor asked and all Jack did was look at her in disbelief as Urban was stuffing his face and coming over towards all of you.

Urban noticed all of you staring at him and instantly got a confused look on his face.

“Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.”

“I was definitely talking about the two of them.”

Time was winding down and it would soon be time for the race to start. You felt it was the perfect time to tell Jack about his surprise. 

“Baby, come here for a second.” You said as you tugged on Jack’s hand and he began to follow you.

“Everything okay?” He asked while looking at you concerned.

“Yes, I just have something to show you.”

The two of you arrived at the stables and Jack looked around confused.

“Baby, we are not buying another horse so don't get any ideas.”

“Now, why is that the first idea that pops in your head!?” You exclaimed while turning up your nose at him. 

“Because I know you! And your track record for spending money on animals speaks for itself. We already have too many that we know what to do with”

You rolled your eyes before going up to pet Private Garden and waved Jack over to do the same.

“Isn't she pretty?” You asked him, but he was still eyeing you.

“Y/N, what did you do? Bet all of our life savings on a horse?” He asked before beginning to pet her. 

“No, only some of it.”

“WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONLY SOME OF IT?”

“So, I did a thing.”

“Oh goodness. Nothing good comes out of your mouth after you say that.” Jack responded as he shook his head.

“You are so dramatic. This is your horse.”

“Huh?”

“This is Private Garden and I bought her and had her work with some of the best trainers in the world so that she could compete in The Triple Crown. So, surprise baby! Happy Derby Day! Riders Up!”

“I have something you can ride, but, wait, seriously? Are you serious right now?!”

“I’m ignoring that first part. Yes, silly! I know how important this is for you and I figured that I could start something in the hopes that the triplets continue it one day. That’s why I stopped you earlier from betting on any horses and I thought it was funny that no one else said anything to me either about her name.”

“I can’t believe that you did this for me.”

“Baby, I would do anything for you. You already know that.” You answered as you reached up to kiss him.

“Wait a minute, you bought ANOTHER horse? We have two already!”

“You’re missing the point here. OUR horse is running in the Kentucky Derby so you need to change that attitude.”

“HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND?”

“Um, enough…..”

“BABY!”

“Welp, I think I heard Taylor calling me. Gotta go see what she might need.” You said before starting to make your way back to the suite, but you knew you couldn’t run in your heels and decided on a brisk walk.

“NO, GET BACK HERE!”

Liked by y/ninsta, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, quiiso, 2forwoyne, privategarden, and 1,284,903 others

jackharlow: my wife is full of surprises. I got the ultimate Derby gift when she told me about our newest horse (y/ninsta NO MORE ANIMALS) named Private Garden who was going to compete in The Triple Crown and sure enough she got first place. Definitely something that I'll never forget. Riders UP! Next stop is Preakness. 🌹🌹🌹

y/ninsta: love you long time!! happy you loved your gift! and we can never have too many pets!

urbanwyatt: WE IN THEREEEEEE

claybornharlow: having 3 horses is crazy lol

quiiso: The best horse definitely won today! She's sweeping all 3 races!

taylorrooks: let me know if you need a babysitter for preakness lmao

y/ninsta: I'll pay you double for Jack and Urban

jackharlow: 🙄🙄🙄

urbandjack26: y/n loves this man bad 🥺

allthingsy/n: and wife of the year goes to y/ninsta!!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Well if given how the anime will adapt the Manga, it makes me wonder about the savanaclaw adaptation given how many delays due to the artist's personal life that octavinelle Manga came around and is now have overblot Chapter before Savanaclaw does. I wonder if the author will have time to finish it and given how heartslabyul will release in October 2025, it might take awhile to animate savanaclaw.

[Referencing this news!]

Decided to put these together because the topics were similar enough and I have similar advice for both asks. To briefly clarify the second ask, I believe the Anon made a typo and meant to say "Yana Toboso was NOT involved in the anime's production". This is because Yana made a tweet recently stating that she and her team were surprised and honored that they were making an anime adaptation based on the manga.

Now, about the first ask: we are not aware of what the manga and anime creation process looks like for Twst. Yes, the Savanaclaw manga has had a number of delays, but we cannot be sure if this impacts the anime at all. For example, we don't know how much of the Episode of Savanaclaw anime is even done yet. We don't know if the anime team is going to be in talks with the mangaka to coordinate things. We don't know when the Episode of Savanaclaw will air (and for all we know, it could give the mangaka ample time to finish up). There are many things we do not know, so it would be VERY hasty to conclude anything now.

Regarding the second ask: Yes, it does seem like Yana had no involvement in the anime. This, however, should NOT be taken as an immediate sign that the anime will be poor quality or that the anime will deviate from the main story in large (and bad) ways. Nothing of the news we've heard so far would indicate any sweeping changes. This is equating a past occurrence with something that has yet to even happen without even knowing if the production circumstances are even the same between them. The only thing we know that is linking the animes of early Black Butler and Twst is Yana's lack of involvement. This doesn't account for ANY other factors in production, and it's also assuming that Yana's mere presence makes a product good--and, conversely, her absence automatically makes a product bad. I don't think this is the way to go, as it's jumping to conclusions based on minimal evidence and it's putting way too much weight on Yana's shoulders to carry the quality of the Twst anime.

And that brings me to the thread linking together not just these two asks, but a lot of the anime-related posts and asks that I've been seeing as of late: fearmongering and doomposting. Lots of it.

As I’ve said multiple times now, it's fine to be hesitant about the anime. I'm hesitant of it myself! However, let’s not draw preemptive conclusions or fret over what are ultimately hypotheticals. It’s so far off, and we have zero of the actual final product to look at and judge the quality of. I'm seeing so many people make mountains out of molehills, working themselves up over nothing, assuming the worst-case scenarios... 💦 and again, all of this based on little to no information. I can't help but that time and energy could be better spent on other fandom efforts or things we actively enjoy. It's valid to be anxious about the anime and how it presents something we care so much about, but putting those feelings in a public space paints the fandom in a bad light. It gives the impression that we'll jump the gun and claim something is bad before letting the product speak for itself. If you're a current Twst fan that is excited for the anime, it may not feel so good seeing others theorizing about how bad it will be. If you're a potential new Twst fan seeing this stuff, you'd feel very unwelcome or unwanted. I worry this will fester and create divides in the community... unintentionally creating an environment that isn't fun to be in, and that's the antithesis of what I think fandom should be. I guess I'll end on this note: There is a difference between being healthily skeptical and assuming the worst of a production. Please take a moment to reexamine your concerns about the anime and ask yourself "Is this a reasonable fear?", "What am I basing this off of?", and, "How, if at all, will this affect my own enjoyment of Twst?" If it gets to be too much for you, then please, please step away from social media (where a lot of these fears are being touted) and take a break. Do something you like, take a walk, whatever. I just beg of you, don't allow yourself to be consumed by feelings that will bleed the fun of fandom out of you 💦

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 14/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

The next part might be a pov from the hotel with Charlie and co.

----------------------------------------------------

It's not going well.

Everyone is close to their breaking points. Lucifer curses under his breath as another overlord and a Goetia pass out.

They've been performing the ritual for 4 hours straight and every time they manage to possibly succeed, a stronger wave comes out- the worsening poison of the miasma sure isn't making things easier.

His infection throbs.

Paimon: My Lord! Another Goetia has fallen!

Asmodeus: We're losing numbers, Luci! We should retreat for now!

Lucifer: No! We can't afford to lose a Ring.

Shit! Even with Goodie's powers, it's not enough. Lucifer begins to think that maybe he should've tried with Heaven- No. He shakes his head. Heaven would rather sacrifice humanity if it would mean destroying all of Hell.

Lucifer: Goodie!

Goodie: I cannot give more of something I do not have, angel. I warned you that my support alone will most likely not stop this.

Lucifer: We should at least be denting it!

At that moment, the sea of flowers let out piercing howls bringing everyone to a stop, hands flying up to their ears to block the noise. Lucifer himself felt his own ears bleed from the sound.

Dark roots began to move upward, carrying the screaming flowers to the skies. It went up until it reached the giant pentagram in the sky, essentially forming a giant tree. Some sort of whole then opened itself up at the bottom- like it's giving way. Like it's-

Lucifer: A door.

Someone beside Lucifer yelled for him.

Leviathan: Luci! Your marks!

When he gave the Sin of Envy a confused look, Alastor summoned a mirror for him to use. The radio demon's smile never leaves his face but Lucifer can see it strained.

Alastor: Sire, it seems that I have lost in being the first to devour you in your entirety.

Lucifer ignores the TV guy's indignant 'what the fuck?!!' in the background, instead he focuses on his reflection. It looks like Alastor was talking literally and not making a weird innuendo.

The infection he got from touching Roo's remnants has now reached his face. His right eye has turned black from the infection, and it's slowly making its way to the left.

The King doesn't feel it until he sees it. He vaguely hears Belphegor's cries, noises of disbelief, and the pained groans of the demons around him.

There's still a way.

Lucifer: Goodie. What do I need to do?

The Good of Humanity produces a piece of paper and blows it in Lucifer's direction. It melted to his skin as soon as it made contact.

Goodie: This might be the only way to stop my sister. That is an ancient seal from before the Nothing- strong enough to render God and beings like Roo weak.

Satan: Huh?! Then why didn't you just let us use that from the start??

Goodie: Because there is a condition.

Lucifer: And what's that?

He asks but he has a feeling he already knows.

Goodie: It must be performed from the inside. It needs to be as close as possible to the one you are sealing. The hold will be stronger with proximity. And with you being the highest power here...

Belphegor: Then that means-!

Lucifer: I need to be the one to go in there.

Immediately after he said it out loud, multiple protests erupted. The Sins are trying to talk him out of it while Paimon and a few Goetia are yelling at Goodie.

Mammon: Mate, this is fucked-

Satan: I'll go to Heaven myself if I have-

Belphegor: There must be another way-

Asmodeus: We'll save our strength. Lust can handle-

Beelzebub: You're crazy! You're gonna die-

Leviathan: I am not letting you go on this suicide mission, Luci!-

All the while, he and Goodie never broke eye contact. Lucifer stares, looking for something he doesn't really know in her expression. He raises his hands and everyone quiets.

Lucifer: Are you sure this will stop her?

Goodie: You are the key, angel. It must be you.

Lucifer finally looks at the camera in the sky. It had been there the whole time, probably by the TV demon. He thinks of his little girl who is probably watching with worry at the safety of the hotel. He can only hope that his next course of action won't hurt her in the long run.

----------------------------------------------------

that's suspicious.

that's weird.

[minerva-net]

four times

chris sturniolo smut

warning: corruption kink (not too obvious?)

summary: four times you misinterpreted chris's statement that he's never had his first kiss, and the time you change that.

the first time it's brought up, it's long forgotten.

"When we meet next month, you can give me my first kiss, too." Chris mumbles into his pillow. He has one eye looking at me through the camera. It's funny.

Three weeks before seeing each other, we can't seem to stay off the phone when going to sleep. We're both laying down together on the phone. It's a normal occurrence at this point. Calling has become a normality between us unless I have to be at work, he's filming, or a device dies.

"Yeah?" I ask.

He nods his head. Laughing a little bit to myself I decide to mess with him.

"What makes you think I'd kiss you?" I tease.

"Because I'm your handsome and hilarious boyfriend you cannot resist." He protests.

"I guess we'll see..." I sigh. My voice growing quiet as I close my eyes. I feel my whole body feel heavy as sleep weighs down on me. I can only hope it joins Chris as well as he has a long day of filming ahead of him.

the second time it goes over your head.

As I'm trying to maneuver around Mount Olympus to kill someone, I'm quickly shot from behind from another player. I throw my hands in defeat stopping myself from yelling into the headset.

We're two weeks from seeing each other, and have been doing all that we can do together online. We're both playing fortnite, it's been a long night of one or the other being carried to victory.

"I died again Chris..." I sighed. For some reason I'm not on my game, maybe it's the tiredness from playing so late, or I'm just losing my skill.

"Don't worry princess I got this." Chris says.

As I spectate him he easily gets my killer and the player I was going after originally. He takes time to go through the last person's loot before being shot at himself. He's able to use his fists to run and hide to heal himself. As he wanders around the area he finds who was trying to attack him, and downs them with ease.

There's something about him being good at fortnite that makes my heart flutter alongside the pet name.

"Don't mess with the big dog!" Chris yells into his mic before making howling noises, grunts, and barking.

I could only smile.

"You're an animal, so aggressive." I comment.

I feel a question bubble inside me. "Are you going to act like this when we see each other? Manhandle me to do what you want with me? Throw me around? Show me how to obey you?" I ask.

Chris is silent, maybe I said something wrong? I give myself some grace due to the lack of sleep.

"Nah... I want my first kiss and time to be slow and sensual maybe? I don't know, but if you want more we can try that." Chris says.

I don't understand what he means by this. Did ye want our first kiss together to be special?

"What're were your other first kisses like? Were they expected, unexpected–" I ponder for another question. "What's gonna make mine so special?"

He's silent before answering.

"Well... I've never–" Chris begins.

I hear another voice on the line that must be one of his brothers.

"We're about to leave so we can eat! Let's go!" They say.

"Well wait, I'm on the phone–" Chris says.

I cut him off. "It's fine. Go eat with your brothers. We can continue later tonight."

"Okay... Call you when I'm home y/n. I love you." Chris says.

"I love you too Chris, talk to you later." I say.

By the time he comes back from eating, the idea to continue the conversation is forgotten.

the third time you realize your mistake.

"I think you're going to like this new lip balm I bought. It's cherry flavored, and coming with me to Cali." I say.

There was only one week before we see each other. There's a tingly feeling each time I think about it.

"Yeah? I don't mind cherry, you should bring other fruit flavors so we can try them out." Chris says.

"You're right I should, we could do the chapstick challenge from a few years ago. I can post it on my account since I'm private," I say. "I want to kiss you until I can't breathe." Thoughts just spilling.

Chris's end is silent. I fill the void.

"Well, what if you don't like the flavor, though? Would you shove me away? Or have you kissed another girl who liked to have flavored lip balm and didn't like it?" I trail off.

Chris interrupts me. "I wouldn't know what I like and don't like... I've never kissed anybody."

I laugh at his joke.

"Are you being for real? I can't tell if you're joking." I laugh.

"One hundred percent serious. Never had a first kiss, or anything else." He says.

I sit in the break room in disbelief. There's no way this boy hasn't kissed at least one person, even a small one when he was younger would be okay.

I didn't realize how silent I was on my end.

"Is that okay with you? Need me to get some practice in?" He teases.

"No–no that's awesome. That makes me feel good. I can't wait to show you new things and be your first." I explain, I couldn't contain my smile at this news.

I can't help but think about how he'll act when we kiss. Will he let me take control? Will he try to figure things out as we go? Or will he surprise me when I see him.

"I'm excited for you to be my first for a lot of things. Can't wait for next week." Chris says.

"Me too."

the fourth time you take it to your advantage.

"So what are you going to do on your last night being a virign?" You ask.

Chris laughs. "I'm not sure... maybe jerk off or something?"

"Are you right now?" I ask, curious.

"No–Why–I'm just saying since... You asked what I'd do as a virigin." Chris tumbles on his words. I smile as I realize he's nervous.

I hum. "Okay... if you say so."

Suddenly, an idea pop into my head. Why not mess with him? If he wants his pay back he'll easily get it back tomorrow.

"I'll be back," I say taking out my headphones before he could respond. Muting my phone taking it with me.

I go to my bathroom, turning the light on. I decide to mess with him a little bit. Lifting up my shirt to show off my bra, I quickly take a few pictures at different angles. However, I decide to be brave and hook my finger through the front of my bra lifting it to reveal my breasts. I take a few more pictures before thinking if I should go lower. I go against it, and wait for when I can see Chris in person.

I go back to my room and unmute the call and put my headphones back in.

"Back." I say.

"Welcome back, that was quick." Chris replies.

I nod my head before realizing he can't see me. "Yeah I just went to get water." I say. I think about my next statement but give myself a pass. "Gotta make sure I'm hydrated for when you got me squriting tomorrow."

Chris chokes at that, gasping to catch his breath. I laugh at his reaction, expecting something lighter than what was given.

"Is that—something—you can do?" He asks.

Wanting to be difficult I ask him to clarify. "Not sure what you mean. What's the full question?

He clears his throat before mumbling quiet.

"Do you squirt?" He asks.

I stop myself from laughing. Smiling wide instead. "I've been known to." I say.

"Do you like... Have—a video of you?" He asks.

I can tell he's nervous, but that makes it all the better.

"No... but I have something better." I say. I send him the bra and braless pictures I took earlier.

I hear his phone drop and shuffling happen on his end before the call abruptly ends. I stare at my phone confused, surely not expecting that reaction from him. Still, I laugh a little before getting comfortable in bed waiting for him to call back. On queue he facetimes me instead.

"Christopher." I say.

"Sorry—" He begins before taking a breath. His face is flushed red like a cherry. "I panicked. Definitely wasn't expecting anything tonight." He says nervously.

"It's okay loverboy..." I trail. "What'd you think? Ready to see me tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes. Fuck. A thousand times yes." He says. He mumbles a few other words after.

"I didn't hear you? What'd you say?" I ask.

"It makes me want to–Make this night—Makes me want this night to go faster..." He says clearly thinking of what he wants to add. "I want to see more of you. I need to see you. Feel you too." He adds.

I smile at him through the phone, and he does the same before looking away.

"Well in less than 24 hours we'll see each other and I'll be in your arms." I say.

He nods his head. I see his face turn into one of thought.

"What're you thinking about Chris?" I ask.

"I'm just nervous. I feel unprepared to see you? This who physical touch will be uncharted territory from how we have been." He explains. "I'm also nervous about if we do... do something more intimate." He adds.

I click my tongue before answering. "That's normal. I'm nervous too... Even if I'm not showing it. I feel like we'll be okay y'know? I think after 3 months of being long distance we'll be even better than before?" I say. "And can I be honest with you?" I ask.

He nods his head.

"It's expected for you to be bad... I'll still like it because it's you though. There's nothing wrong with that. It's your first time, and it won't be like what you've seen in a porno or something... We can decide what is good for us." I say.

Chris makes a sound of approval rather than saying anything. I don't say anything assuming he's getting tired. We sit in silence before I hear a small noise and shuffling from him. I look down at my phone and only see Chris's hair which was stuck to his forehead.

"What're you doing?" I inquire.

"Chillin." He responds. "Had to get comfortable." His voice is out of breath and jagged.

Not believing him I shift to my side and listen more intently. I don't hear anything else but decode to pry.

"Can I see what you're wearing? You saw what I was." I ask.

Chris makes a noise before answering. "I guess—that's fair... Give me a few minutes." He says.

I could care less about his outfit. I figure it's grey sweats and a shirt or no shirt. I only care about what's on his lap and what he's doing.

Before he shows me I hear fabric moving, Chris's failed attempt at being quiet. He lifts up his phone before making a quick swipe down his body. It's hard to see what he was wearing exactly, but I decide to be obvious.

"Can you show me your pants again?" I pry.

"Just my usual grey sweats." He says. I figured but his red face says something else is going on.

I smile at him, he's knows he's busted but I decide not to say anything to make it too obvious.

"Why not show me? I want to see if they're my favorite."

"I—It's the one with the blue 'C'." He says.

"Show me Christopher," I say, giving him a straight face.

Chris's face becomes a deep red. His eyes show that he regrets his decision just slightly, but accepts his defeat. He flips the camera and very obviously stood his cock in his sweats. At the top was a few small dots. Only one could assume it was from his previous activity.

"Interesting..." I start. "Do you care to continue for me?" I ask politely.

Chris chokes on his words before saying. "Yes ma'am."

My stomach feels tight and my legs squeeze together. As much as I love this I never anticipated the night before we meet to be like this. Despite this, I watch his hand appear on the screen and into his sweats. Instead of doing the obvious he wraps his hand around his cock and pumps himself in his sweats.

"Show me. Take it out and let me see." I say.

Chris whines at this. He lifts up his hips and takes one hand to pull his sweats and boxers down to his thighs. His cock comes out and lands on his stomach. His tip leaked precum onto his stomach, and his tip a darker pink after being left neglected.

I rake my eyes up and down, taking it all in. He's good looking and well managed. It's almost ashame he couldn't use it for good.

"Good boy." I mutter. "Let me see you. Continue jerking off."

Chris takes his hand to his dick and wraps around it slowly like he's nervous. But he continues, he pumps himself and goes back up to thumb his head. Slowly but surely, he increases speed as he nears the tip with each pump.

I consider sliding my hand down my pants, but go against it for better judgement. I want to see him work, be there for him. His whines and moans get louder and higher as he chases his high.

"I'm going to love having you tomorrow." I mumbled. Chris bucks his hips into his hands at this. He continues to moan and fuck his hips into his hand. I can hardly control the small moan that escapes my lips as I watch.

When he finishes, he moans my name letting white stripes coat his stomach. I smile at him as he flips the camera. I'm so ready to be with this boy tomorrow.

when you finally meet it's life changing.

"I would say every video there's a least one argument to be made whether someone likes it or not–" Chris explains to me as we walk into his room.

It feels wild to finally be in California, let alone Los Angeles. When his brothers picked me up at the airport, I was amazed to feel him. He felt so real in my hands. We hugged for a good while before Matt honked, saying we needed to not hold up traffic.

We all spent all the spent the day having the boys showed me their favorite spots to visit. From clothing stores to a pizza shop they regularly visit that's been shown in their vlogs.

Chris decided to sit in the middle seats with me so I wouldn't have to sit next to his "icky" brother Nick. It was nice to see him in a different position rather than a bunch of pixels. We held hands the entire time we were out, and he'd open my door each time we got out. I wanted to kiss him when we first saw each other, and after each gesture but held myself back waiting until we could have a moment together.

—

Sitting down in his bed, I ignored what he was saying as he put my bags by his desk. After he finished his story, he sat down next to me. He kept talking... Just like on the phone, he can't seem to stop talking. As much as I enjoy hearing him talk, I need to start what we were do excited for last night.

Rolling my eyes, I swing a leg up, then over his legs as I push him back. I sat on his lap, looking down at him with a big smile. He looks around the room before back at me while lifting his hands.

"You can touch me y'know? I'm not going go break." I remark.

His face turns into a deep red shade as his hands land on my hips. His grip is firm and secure. He takes the chance to squeeze the flesh on my legs before rubbing his hands up and down my thighs.

I choose to be bold and rock my hips on him and leaning down having our chests flush with each other. Chris can only stare at me with his mouth agape. Our noses touch, but I rock my hips again for extra measure and met with him bucking his hips up.

"Ready for your first kiss loverboy?" I coo. His face turns into a deep red shade as he nods his head profusely.

I cup his face, taking a hand to push his hair back so I can take a good look at him. Blue eyes looking back at me with large pupils. I tilt my head to the side before slotting our mouths together. I keep it light and quick before letting go.

"There you go." I smile against hisdating.

I press back in a little to give him a chance to move. However, his lips are limp and unsure of what to do. I decided to be a little more daring. Dragging my tongue along his bottom lip, I lightly nip at him.

I wasn't expecting the reaction I got out of it, but loved it nonetheless. His hands gripped me harder, one sliding down to my ass. He took this as a chance to lightly squeeze it.

I move my hand to the top of his head, carding my hand through his hair before bringing it down to his nape and lightly pulling on his hair to disconnect us. He whines at the loss of contact.

"You got condoms?" I ask. Chris nods his head before pulling my head closer to his to kiss me again. He returned the favor back as he licked and bit my bottom lip. I smiled at the gesture. He was a fast learner.

As I sat on his lap I felt his dick grow hard and twitch with each motion of our lips moving, and the slow rock of my hips. I let out a laugh against him.

"Calm down, calm down..." I whisper. He whines and does as told.

I keep my lips on him, both of us limp. It's nice just feeling our lips together as I stroke the back of his neck with my nails.

"Can–can you–can you touch me baby?" Chris asks. He's cute. His eyes are wide with swollen red lips. His desperation is cute. I give in since he's been so good.

"Where do you want me to touch you?" I know exactly where, but I'd like to drag this out for as long as I can. He closes his eyes as he pulls my head to rest on his forehead. I hum as I wait for his response.

"Anywhere, everywhere. I dunno, I just need you y/n." Chris says.

I slide off him to the floor between his legs. I place my hands on his thighs. I look up at him before speaking.

"Are you sure you're ready Chris?" I ask.

He nods his head quickly, but I giggle at this. "I need words, baby." I chastised.

"Yeah–yeah–yes I want this... I want you," He says. He brings a hand down to my head to cup my cheek. He brushes a thumb against it. "You're so beautiful y/n..." He mumbles.

I couldn't help but get nervous myself and begin to blush a little. Coming back to my senses and what I sat in front of him for, I unbuckle his belt and hooked my fingers around his jeans and underwear. Taking the signal, Chris lifts his hips up to let me pull down his pants to pool at his ankles.

It felt surreal to see him so... raw. While I saw him last night through a screen, it didn't do him much justice. He was a nice size and I couldn't wait to have him when I pleased.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." He teases. I roll my eyes at him and pinch his thigh. He hisses at the pain, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Maybe another time... Are you sure you're ready?" I'm not nervous, but I can't help but feel the need to get double confirmation.

"If I didn't want this you wouldn't be on the floor right now." Chris says.

He's not wrong, but I'd never tell him that. I click my tongue and move my face to lay feather light kisses along his thighs. I start close to his knee and work my way up to his pelvis, alternating between each leg. As I grow closer to him he twitches a little with each kiss.

I place a kiss on his tip before laying a few more along his thighs and stomach. Chris brings his hand up to my hair, making a ponytail.

"Stop teasing..." He mumbles.

"Patience, patience... You're gonna have me for a month." I say.

He mumbles something I couldn't hear but don't care enough to ask what he said.

Finally making it to where he needed me most, I wrap my hand around the base of his dick. I take my other and spread the precum that was coming out of his tip down the length of him. A small noise comes out of his mouth. I smile a little in approval.

I slowly pump my hand up and down him, trying to mimic what I watched him do last night. I took my time going down, but sped up a little as I went up and squeezed his tip more precum leaking out.

Chris began to groan a little louder and more with each motion. His grip on my hair grew a little tighter.

I look up at him through lashes. His eyes are closed with his mouth agape. Small gasps are falling from his lips. While I'm looking I guess he felt me staring, and shoots me a smile.

"Can you–can you—can you do one–one–thing for me?" He asks, out of breath.

"Of course, baby." I say.

"Could you use your mouth? I've been thinking about that since you started..." He says.

I couldn't help but smile again, he's so cute. He whines again as I stop moving my hand. I lean forward a little bit to be closer to him. His grip on my hair loosens a little bit. I stick out my tongue and kitten lick at this tip before licking a long stripe from base to tip.

Chris groans and bumps his leg up at the feeling. His breaths start getting heavier as I take his tip into my mouth. I slowly move my head down a little before going back up, using my other hand to pump the base of him. I bob my head up and down on him, taking my other hand to squeeze his balls.

Chris's breath turns into a pant as my name falls seamlessly from his lips. My name comes out almost like a chant...

"Y/n—y/n–n/n..." He mumbles.

His hips start to buck up a little more frequently as I speed up. I feel his dick twitch lightly in my mouth. His grip on my hair loses that loose grip as he tightens and helps move my head up and down.

He makes one loud groan and grunt before cumming in my mouth. I take it and swallow it. Taking my head off of his softening dick I wipe my mouth. I look up at Chris and his eyes are closed while small pants fall from his mouth.

"Wow... that was—I can never say I never had head before." He jokes, wiping his forehead pushing his hair back.

I couldny help but laugh too.

"For sure. How're you feeling?" I ask.

"Amazing... Are we gonna do more?" He asks.

I think about it, but look at his bedside clock. As much as we stay up late on the phone tonight I'd rather go to sleep.

"Maybe another time... Like I said before you have a month with me." I smile, getting up.

He makes a sound of slight disapproval.

"Don't be mad. Let's shower, I want to go to sleep somewhat early." I say.

"We never sleep early, though! We need to watch our show!" Chris exclaims, following me to my bag where I grabbed my night time belongings.

"And tonight I want to. Just because you got head doesn't mean you can act like you're all that." I say.

Chris huffs as he gets his stuff too before joining me in the bathroom.

a/n: idk if I like this... 😔 lmk if you do and send requests pls! ☺️☺️

[mcflymemes]

ASSASSIN'S CREED III PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the video game, adjust as necessary

we never took them seriously. maybe we should have.

i'm getting ahead of myself.

we've been fighting them for thousands of years.

i've seen the truth.

it holds the power to change everything.

there's only so much we can do.

if we can't find a way to stop it, these next few weeks will probably be our last.

it worked. we think. we hope.

we're here. let's go.

you must find the key.

here we go again.

do you hear us?

you collapsed and entered into a fugue state.

you weren't in any danger.

i know what i'm looking for, by the way. it's a key.

i'd like to run a couple of quick tests.

have you seen it before?

my father brought me here as a child.

on to business then.

the stairs are watched. you'll need to find another way up.

you should have come to me.

for what it's worth, i'm sorry.

that's why we've called you here.

i am yours to command.

well, then i'd best be on my way.

my research has been stolen. without it, i'm of no use to you.

i'll see if i can't speed things up.

we need to find a way inside.

i believe i've found the solution to our problem.

we'll attack on my signal.

i made a promise to you, [name], one i intend to keep.

the sooner we're done, the sooner we can get out of this cold.

it does not engender peace to cut your way to resolution.

if we applied the sword more liberally and more often, the world would be a better place than it is today.

now i've upheld my part of the bargain, i expect that you will honor yours?

you seem disappointed.

you have shown me great kindness, [name]. thank you.

really? that's your response? it's like dealing with a six year old.

i sense my words cause pain.

do you even know what that symbol represents?

come on. i've got something to show you.

very well. i'll train you.

you're also going to need a new name.

what's true and what is aren't always the same.

you'll be happy to hear there's actually good news for once.

it's silly for us to go back and forth like this.

we cannot give up our home.

do you have a name? do you know who is responsible?

time will tell if you speak the truth.

why are you here? has something happened?

you should have heeded my warning.

perhaps you'll respond better to the sword.

are you threatening us?

i thought it might bring clarity or instill a sense of accomplishment. but all i feel is regret.

such sacrifices must never come lightly.

all of them must be dealt with in turn.

you speak the words, but do you believe them?

takes a true monster to do something like this.

every day i wait, more will suffer.

many who should've died today now live because of you.

we do the best we can with what we've got.

you wield your blade like a man, but your mouth like a child.

there are more important things at stake here.

i do what is right. no more. no less.

i don't even see a stall in here. what if i had to take a dump?

please just mute the microphone if you do.

life is not a fairy tale, and there are no happy endings.

in your haste to save the world, take care you don't destroy it!

our interests are aligned.

perhaps some time together might do us good.

i can kill you now if you prefer.

would you like me to come along and hold your hand, perhaps?

why the change of heart? where is this coming from?

you oppose tyranny. injustice. these are just symptoms. their true cause is human weakness.

you have said so much... but you have shown me nothing.

tell me of your latest exploits.

you have not come this far to throw it all away over misplaced sentiment.

there is nothing more to discuss.

i should have stayed.

now you must hide it.

what once was shall be again.

[tehamelie]

Various fine opinions on the meaning of life contained in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life:

*Unionize your workplace, alternatively turn it into a pirate ship and take to the high seas. It'll piss off management either way.

*Question everything.

*Look at what you think you know from a different perspective.

*The pursuit of profit at all costs can and will ruin the meaning of any work and also make you worse at it.

*Gender roles are not necessarily assigned at birth.

*The Catholic church is not well.

"God has blessed us so much I can't afford to feed you all any longer."

*Just because you're allowed doesn't mean you should.

*You should not, and will not, die to "keep China British."

*God has many ways to cook you to death, if He wants to.

*Straight sex is so damn boring.

*Don't just stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

*Sport, like sex, only works between equal parties. Any other way and you invite horror and depravity. (That kid is definitely dead and the upperclassmen are just stomping on him anyway.)

*Actually, getting murdered playing rugby against adults two or three times your size is an excellent way to prepare you for fighting in a war.

*Even a good captain will be hated by their subordinates. This is the burden of command.

"We'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise." *is immediately struck down by literal the hand of God*

*A fighting force is better served by a single soldier who actually wants to be there than twenty men who doesn't.

*There's a fine line between keeping one's cool in a heated situation and acting like you're on a bloody different planet when people are dying in front of you.

There are less than 4500 wild tigers left in the world. The "A tiger? In Africa?!" bit is less of a joke every year.

*In less than surprising news, killing people is bad for you. (It turns out, for psychologically healthy people, doing violence really hurts you as much as the victim.)

*Where is that fish?

*Theme restaurants could do with a bit of randomly mixed themes.

*Don't be afraid to ask the most idiotic questions about things you don't understand. That's how we learn.

*Oh ho it's the meaning of liver donation I get it now.

*The Galaxy Song is fun and all but don't give in to misanthropy.

*Matter is energy, the human soul grows with care and attention, and people aren't wearing enough hats.

*Actually, the movie makes a staggering point here and buries it with distracting nonsense jokes, while also making the point that we get sidetracked from self-actualization by distracting nonsense jokes. It's a point sandwich with joke filling.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Shout out to happy penis havers, though I'm not one myself.

*M Creosote shows us that single-minded devotion to one's mission in life (eating an entire upscale French restaurant in one sitting, for example) will leave you unhappy and alone.

*Dunk antisemites in buckets of vomit.

*Gaston, the middle aged waiter, delivers a coherent personal philosophy as he walks us to the cottage where he was born. The significance of this cannot be overestimated. He decided to be a waiter, you see. Because he believes in something. It's a simple belief of giving, of loving people and bringing them joy. But be believes it with all his heart and he'll fight for the right to live the life he chose.

*If you have to die, but can choose the manner of your execution, try being hounded to death by naked women.

*See the world in a grain of sand, or a maple leaf as it were.

*Terry Pratchett was a great man and a great writer, but he's wrong about one thing: Death is relative. No, no, you can't argue away Death or shoot him, but he is subject to the laws of relativity. Consider the stars in the sky; at least one star that's visible to the naked eye I hear may be dead right now - it's 500 light years away and they think it may go supernova at any point within 500 years from now. But here, locally, the star still lives; there's no possible reality where it's gone until the light of its explosion reaches us.

*Heaven is a fantastically cheesy musical theater performance with angel santa claus strippers and a lead singer you just want to punch. Clearly we need to build something better here on Earth.

*Be nice, read books, take a walk sometimes, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. Obviously.

*[The producers] hope that other fish will follow [the example of the movie] so that, in future, fish all over the world will live together in harmony and understanding, and put aside their petty differences, stop hunting and eating each other and live for a brighter, better future for all fish and those who love them. Yes, clearly this is about fish.

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Being Bloodhounds Younger Sibling pt. 2

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Reader: Gender Netural | "you" | Platonic

Notes: the gif makes me smile, bloodhound smiling 🥺

Warnings: none really? Fighting?

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To be honest, when you seen Bloodhound ontop of Fuse like that you were tramatized.

"Y/n-"

Just immediately closing the door.

"I understand your pain now Arthur."

Finally someone gets his pain.

So in traumtization buddies, you feed him instead, along with giving Bear a snack because he ate already

Akward...

You best be sure when Fuse and you get placed on a team he's like:

"So. Eh..heh...hows your day going."

"Good. I suppose. But your face reminds me of the time my sibling was ontop of you."

"Ah...eh...houndy likes to feel poweful."

"My sibling is powerful. You cannot handle them. They go soft on you."

Fuse figures out soon that you dont exactly know what your talking about....

But that kinda makes Fuse think. Is bloodhound easy on him?

Fuse tries to get to know you the best you'll let him. Your standoffish, keep to yourself, Pathfinder is someone thats only really gotten close to you, both physically and mentally.

Its true you've stuck yourself to Pathy while out and about, he showed you kindess and was simply pure of heart

So he was allowed to hug you, allowed to get in your personal space

He just has a vibe that makes him want to be around.

Despite you not suppose to be as he's technology

You see alot of Vantage, Fuse and Bloodhound together.

You figured Vantage is there daughter but wonder why you hadnt been introduced yet.

But before you could bring any of that up your older sibling comes knocking at your door.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Come in."

Bloodhound walks in taking off the mask and helmet, setting it down, "Come. Sit."

Y/n and Bloodhound take a seat on the floor, "i have something for you."

Y/n watched as a box was handed towards them.

"They will aid you."

Y/n was silent as Bloodhound opened the box, "They will help you hear again. Better, easier."

Y/n looked at the book and shook there head.

"Y/n please."

"That is against our ways."

"Y/n." Bloodhound spoke grabbing there hand, "We cannot keep ignoring our future. Rayma has made them for you. They blend in with your hair and skin, they will be hard to see."

Y/n was silent as they watched Bloodhound take them out the box. They trusted Bloodhound with there full heart and mind, and allowed there sibling to fit them to there ears.

"There-"

A loud ringing came with the word as Y/n quickly pulled them out tossing them away holding there ears in pain.

"Sorry! I'm sorry-"

Bloodhound was quick to grab them from the floor, "too strong I suppose. I will turn them down."

Y/n watched as Bloodhound fixed they twisted a little nib, "Lets do one for now."

With time, Bloodhound adjusted them perfectly to your ears

But they couldnt help the look they were given, you looked lost

Maybe this was the final straw? There really was no going back to the old ways

Bloodhounds thankful to Rayma/Rampart,

And like always they help you adjust

And its werid being able to hear everyone so clearly now.

Pathfinder's excited for you, like holding your hands jumping around excited and Wattson joins in

You dont exactly know whats going on

But to thank Rampart you carve something nice,

You stick with a Prowler, the type that stalk the snowy mountains.

While your carving Pathfinder comes over to talk to you on the drop ship.

"So thats bloodhounds sibling?" Vatnage asked.

"Yeah. That the's rumour goin around!" Rampart smiled, "To be honest though mate, we'll never know by looks. No ones ever seen ol' houndy's face."

"Im gonna go say Hi!"

Vantage happily marched her way over, Y/n silent despite Pathfinder's constant talking.

"Hello! Im Mara!"

Y/n looked up then back down at there carving.

"Ooo you carve too? Im a carver myself." Vantage cheered watching Echo relocated infront of Bear.

"Bloodhound is with Fuse. I believe they are the upper deck." Y/n spoke, "Do not eat the bat."

Bear backed up and pouted, Y/n going back to work.

"Wow. You knew before he even opened his mouth! Thats pretty keen!" Vantage cheered, "But I heard your Bloodhound's sibling. You're a hunter too then?"

Vantage was answered with Silence, "You're name's Y/n right? What was your village like?"

Silence again, "Silence is fun too! I'll sit with you and carve with you!"

Y/n was quiet, they always were, after all they had no social skills outside there sibling relationship.

But with this Y/n couldn't help but feel....replaced.

Bloodhound had Fuse, and Vatnage.

They an odd little makeshift family

You didnt wanna ruin anything bloodhound had made for themselves, but the idea of them kinda just going off and leaving to make a new family kinda hurt

You'd never admit that though.

"Hey! Mara!" Mirage cheered making his way over.

"Mr. Witt!" She smiled, "Mr.Witt! This is Y/n! They're bloodhound's sibling! Well. I think they are atleast. Y/n! This is Mr.Witt! He's super cool!"

"I just came to introduce myself to the g-gor-to the pretty new person." Mirage flirted.

"Do you think you are pretty?" Y/n questioned.

"A little yeah." Mirage smiled, leaning on the nearby crates just to slip and fall, Y/n watching him scramble to his feet.

"So! Me? You!? Pork chops?" He smiled, "I have booze! Wait- that sounds wrong- I'm a bar tender! A good one at that!"

"If you're asking me for a partnership you must ask the eldest of my house."

"Oh! Yeah! Parent consent's...cool. even at our age...anyway-"

"Bloodhound is on the upper deck." Y/n responded.

"Huh?"

"Bloodhound is eldest." Y/n informed, "It is bloodhounds word."

Wait....he's....gott ask...

NOT THE HUNTER.

He'll admit. Bloodhound, sweet, nice, but in situations like the games, and serious moments they're pretty uh....spoopy

BUT HE GOES THROUGH WITH IT

WAIT- NO- WAIT MIRAGE NO

"So...Y/n..."

Bloodhound looked at the man, "ah you have met my sibling. I do hope they did not stab you, social skills are not there strong suit."

"No! No! No!"

"Then?"

"I wanted to take them to the bar. Ya know. Hang out with them."

"The bar is not there strong suit i assure you. If you wish to hang out with them truly. Ask to go on a hunt."

"Aye! Witt ya ol' fella!" Fuse cheered coming up with two bottles in his hand, handing one to bloodhound, "if I'da known ya were gonna be here I'da brought you a bottle."

"Im not staying long. Just askin about Y/n."

"Yeah? What's up with the kiddo anyway? Stab anyone new?"

"Witt was hoping to go on....a hangout as he called it." Bloodhound commented.

"Ya wanna take Y/n out on a date?" Fuse commented, "Good Luck."

"What is that ment to mean?" Bloodhound spoke.

"What? Nothin. Y/n...the kid's...just uh." Fuse told, "Diffrent....ya know?"

"No. That is why I inquired."

"The kids....hard to be friendly with. Kids...off putting, rough around the edges."

"You are saying my sibling is rude-"

"No-"

"Then what?" Bloodhound asked standing up.

"I told ya! Y/n's rough around the edges!" Fuse spoke in defense, "Hey! Maybe witt will smooth em out, huh?-"

"Y/n does not need smoothing out. None the less a man nor woman to do so." Bloodhound argued, "here."

The bottle was shoved in Witt's chest, he catching it quickly, "Goodbye. I need to check on Arthur."

"Houndy! I didn-"

But bloodhound was already gone.

You were confused as Bloodhound came back upset though No one could tell but seemingly you

You chased them down worried.

"No need. I am alright." Bloodhound reassured, "I will be back-"

Y/n grabbed Bloodhound by the shoulder stopping them, "Last time you said you'd be back you left....for a long time."

Bloodhound sighed, "I. I am sorry."

"You have apologized enough. I just want to you to tell me whats going on. I can not stop you if you wish to leave."

"A small tussel with Fitzroy is all." Bloodhound responded, "I supoose I am a little defensive as of recent."

So you go to sit with your sibling. Its nice to be in each others presence even in silence.

You're for sure targeting Fuse next match.

So it helps that next match you get put with Revenant and Mad Maggie.

"I want Fitzroy's head."

"I like you already skinsuit."

Talk about trail following. Dude your like ontop there team.

Fuse, Loba and Bloodhound all on one team

So you'd for sure have to take out Fuse secluded.

Luckily your able to single him out, throwing him against a wall.

"Woah now! Houndy wouldn't like you killin' me eh?" Fuse tried to persuade, a joke in the tone of his voice.

"You upset them."

"Ah. That. We talked that out I swear!"

"Hm." Y/n hummed in thought, "Oh well, better luck next time."

finisher for the kill? absolutely

But then Maggie's shouting she's down, and Revenant follows quickly after.

"One last egg! Callin it your family!"

Oh...Is Bloodhound the last one standing?

you can be sure there's an epic standoff.

"May the all father guide my victory."

"And may the Ragnarok falling be as brutal as yours shall be this day."

Bloodhound chuckled, "You were always one for the fall."

"The fall is just as important as the rise." Y/n spoke in defense, "you taught me that."

"You listened well for having been impaired," Bloodhound praised, let us see if your tongue is as swift as your knife."

"Verbalailty is something you reached me not to lean on as well." Y/n spoke, both taking a step forward, "I do hope your age has not impaired you much."

With the last words, they charged at one another, cargo bots that also acted as cameras in the games focused in on the two.

"Hey! Hey! wait!" Wattson called, "Look!"

The two teams stopped the firing, and they all looked at one of the larger screens that were usually meant to show legends, playing the battle out.

"You never bring a knife to a gunfight," Bangalore spoke.

"I don't think it's the gun Y/n's worried about," Wraith told in defense.

"An interesting fighter indeed," Ash praised, "but stupid, very, stupid."

Y/n was knocked on their side, groaning, knife and axe were knocked away.

"You fought well little one." Bloodhound praised, "But I must finish what I have started."

Bloodhound was quick to grab their own axe, Y/n getting to their feet as they stood ready to defend.

Cue the epic battle music

You werent giving up easy, and neither was your older sibling

Think about the Kratos verus Thor fight from the beginning of the game, and...just...thats you guys

But when weapons get knocked away, slidding off the side of the platform is when you both finally realize your just above lava

You got pinned to the railing but managed to fill bloodhound over you barely catching there hand before they fell into the lava below.

"What are you doing!?" Bloodhound argued, "let me go!"

Y/n looked down at them, they'd kill Bloodhound for victory? For Slatra...

"I. I can't!" Y/n argued.

"Y/n! Let me go you've won!" Bloodhound defended.

"I cant! I can't!"

"Why not!?"

"I can't loose you!"

Its like morality had struck you, you were killing your sibling.

"Y/n. Let me go." Bloodhound ordered, "I will be alright. Remember. It is just a game. I will see you back on the ship."

Y/n looked down, loosinging there grip, "You promise?"

"I promise."

So, you dropped Bloodhound, winning the smaller battle, and picked up both teammates.

"Ya crack an egg, good on you kid."

"yeah. Thanks..."

Okay everybody going back to fighting now

Sure enough, you did

You didn't win, placed in the top three though.

You could care less though and ran straight to Bloodhound hugging them tightly.

They congratulate you on your success, you were doing quite well for being new

no matter how old you get praise from your older sibling is always reassuring

Mad Maggie out of all people consoles you, sitting beside you

"You took a big step eh?" She spoke, "It gets easier kids, don't cha worry! Take it from me."

"You're people."

She looked at Y/n and chuckled, "Eh, Salvo's one hell of a dog's arse if I say so at the moment."

"You're people are lucky to have a warrior such as yourself."

"Suppose I'm a bit of a fuck up. Especially when it come to the family."

Y/n looked at her as she handed over a bottle, "One for the top three."

Y/n nodded taking the bottle, "I suppose, I am a fuck up as well."

"Don't let it get ya down-"

Maggie went silent as she watched Y/n chug the liquid from the bottle, "ugh!" Y/n gaged pulling it away "Burns-"

She only laughed as their gagging self.

Here comes Mirage asking you out again,

"On a hunt."

"You hunt here?"

"yeah sure why not."

It's been a while since you went on a hunt, and so you invited Bloodhound excitedly.

Vantage wants to go and even cuts in asking.

You are still iffy about Vantage: you can't help it, just human nature you suppose, being jealous.

But here comes octane wanting to join too,

"A group hunter sounds refreshing. Y/n?"

You nodded and said you were inviting one more person too then.

So when you're all dropped off and given a few days rest, you all gather at a ship, and there you come dragging Revenant

Mirage wishes he just invited you to read in his room at this point.

[soaps-mohawk]

hey pookster, i'm back! 😈

i cannot get over that cliffhanger. physically sick. i did actually vote johnny to find out, something just told me he'd do something stupid (like that toilet paper ask or whatever it was) and end up accidentally finding the cameras 😭 and i totally got suspicious of the bear, too. the little beady eyes probably look like cameras, i'd be scared shitless if i was 'mega.

i am literally shaking and quaking in my boots. if simon reverts back to how he was before, i'm going to come get him myself. omega does not deserve that 😾 not after how close they got. they talked about his mum!!!! that's so important!!!! he can't just throw it away, or i'm coming for him 👹

anyways, the smut... lord. lordy lord i had to read sitting down. my god. my GOD. i can't even put into words how utterly orgasmic it has been to read. john gets my daddy issues too bad!! and that thing about johnny and his little subby smile??? get out of here i NEED him. 🙏🙏

apologies for being silent for so long, i've been super busy with the horses since staff up the yard has become an issue. i saw all your stuff about breaks and boundaries, and i'm so proud!! you deserve the absolute world and the people that are giving you shit are appalling. you and your wellbeing are utmost priority, do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise 💞 so i hope you're doing good, or at least better!! cannot wait for the next chapter (even though it's gonna hurt like a motherfucker) and i hope you enjoy your little break ❤️

- 🪐

Omg hi!!!! I've missed you!!!

Hehe I did warn about my cliffhangers 🤭 but I could see Johnny doing something like that lol. He so would have happened upon them by accident 😂 it was always going to be Simon though.

Simon??? You'll have to wait and see what happens 🤭

I'm glad you enjoyed my smut 🤭 I was going with it for quite a bit there. The horny hours were going strong there for a minute. Now it is angst time.

Johnny is a sub you cannot convince me otherwise. He brings out the dommy mommy in me. I wanna put a collar and leash on him and make him crawl. Step on him until he cries.

I love those little details. Johnny braiding hair, coming from a big pack, Mr. Sweet Man taking care of 'mega. It's just so sweet to me. Sweet babies. Makes me tear up

Don't apologize for being busy!! I understand 100%. I've been enjoying my breaks honestly. They've helped so much. With my new job I might have to take them more often, or at least change when they're happening but we'll see. Thank you, love 💚 you're always so sweet and lovely.

[ask-a-bot]

Hello, 🪣 again.

Sorry for the radio silence, Frank, Beans, Merlin, Thor, Pidge and Toast have arrived in Scotland, you should see them any time now… hopefully. Merlin got badly injured in the war and his chronometer and navigation systems haven’t worked right since, so they might’ve gotten lost. Let me know if you spot them? (Good news: they haven’t been arrested so far!)

——

Things… aren’t going well over here I’m afraid. Wukong took a turn for the worse and started vomiting this morning, hence the lack of responses from Kitty. He’s cheerful enough, despite the whole Severe Poisoning situation, but the Vehicons have flown into a panic.

To make matters worse, Monsoon seems to share Megatron’s emetophobia. I’m currently dealing with a very distressed and dry heaving seeker, while covered in vomit myself (really hoping none of the substances in it are harmful to organics). I’m doing my best to look after him, but I’m only human. Whatever y’all pay your medics is not enough.

Kitty mentioned you offered medgrade? Downpour is currently flying her way to Scotland, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you send it back with her?? We could really use it right now.

Wish me luck, 🪣

You should have told Monsoon to go along as well. And you need to shower – take no chances. I have the medgrade ready.

When one of us is in a bad way, Dot brings out a big, industrial-sized garbage can. You know, the kind that tenements, schools and such have. No idea where she got it...

I think Alex brought it home from work.

With nobody seeing him? Impressive!

He probably just bought the thing online.

Probably. Anyway, you need something like that. You also need somewhere to contain and dispose of Cybertronian biological wastes – that one included. Our... uh...

Rejected matter?

That'll do. Our rejected matter can poison your planet. You need some way to... well... to avoid the planet getting polluted.

They pollute it anyway!

So? As guests on this planet, we have a responsibility not to add to the problem. We need to dispose of our waste with care and respect.

Seekers like to jettison on the wing.

Ugh! Yuck.

That is a cultural thing, Bumblebee. They are like birds.

Birds go wherever! I had one land on my helm and drop white stuff in my optic.

Yeah... I hope you don't "drop" on the wing too.

Shut up.

This bickering is getting us nowhere. Starscream, in case you have forgotten, you are forbidden from jettisoning on the wing. You are to use the washrack like everyone else and the same goes for your trine.

I haven't forgotten, but we aren't the only seekers here, are we? Do you think they're-

We cannot help what the others do. That is not our responsibility.

That's not fair!

Do you think poisoning a planet is fair?

... No.

No, Optimus and Megatron's right – you've gotta leave a place you visit as you found it or better.

I know that. You've been telling me that since my first planet.

Yeah, well, it's important.

It is. OK... I hope what we've said is helpful. Let us know if you need any more help or advice and we'll see what we can do.

[detroit-grand-prix]

Wildest Dreams Chapter 27 - Wildest Dreams (Phoebe's Version)

Chapter summary: Everything has been leading up to this. It's not the last race of the season, but for Phoebe Stallard, it feels like the last, and best chance to make her goal. After all, what could be sweeter than taking her first podium at home? But in racing, just like in life, it's never quite that straightforward.

Content warning: N/A

Chapter word count: 7,100

Author's Notes: This is the end of the main story. When I finished this, though, this story couldn't let me go, and still really hasn't. I've been working on a bunch of side stories that I will get around to posting, and I'm planning on writing an epilogue that has snatches of the 2022-2024 seasons.

I'm really proud of this story, and I'm glad it's gotten a few dedicated fans along the way. I know OC-centered stories aren't popular in RPF fandoms, and that's fine, but I never feel like I am able to do the actual athletes justice, but the psyche of someone who competes in F1my original plan! Thonestly didn't even get through everything I'd wanted to. It was a challenge, too - writing race play-by-plays is really difficult, honestly! But, as far as the stuff I didn't want to get to, we'll see what I can come up with. Plejuest sprang to mind for me but allowed me to take the story in directions that I hadn't expected. Anyway, thank you again for sticking around until this point. I know this chapter was an absolute monster is still fascinating to explore. And I've really enjoyed being able to examine what it would mean to be the first woman in so long to make it that far. I hope someday that it's not just a work of fanfiction, and that it can be reality. The narrative took me by surprise, too. It's really amazing when the story couldn't let me go, and still really hasn't. I've been working on a bunch of side stories that I will get around to posting, and I'm planning on writing an epilogue that has snatches of the 2022-2024 seasons.

*also, I know the spelling is technically "kerbs" but I just cannot bring myself to spell that word that way. SORRY.

Circuit of the Americas, Austin, Travis County, Texas, United States of America

October 24th, 2021

Bee woke up well before her alarm on race day. Her entire body was thrumming with nervous energy, but at least for the time being, it wasn’t a bad kind of nervousness, at least not yet.

She took her time getting ready before she had to meet Emilia and her parents for breakfast, but time had a way of speeding up for her before something she was dreading. She did manage to eat a good breakfast, though, and Toto and Susie ended up meeting them all there - they were just in one of the hotel’s restaurants, but It was the first time she’d seen Toto since qualifying.

“You had an amazing qualifying yesterday, bienchen. I was very impressed. Your performance has definitely improved this year, and I think as long as you just go out there and have fun, you’ll be satisfied with your performance, no matter what.”

It was different advice than everyone else had given her, but it probably did the most to help relieve the pressure.

Eventually, it was time to head to the track for the pre-race festivities, and festivities they were. There was a drivers’ parade first - Bee and all of her gridmades were herded onto the back of a flatbed truck and were driven slowly around the track, while being interviewed for F1TV. She was amused by the sight of a lot of the other drivers wearing cowboy hats - it just didn’t suit most of them, being rich boys from Europe.

The exception, however, was Daniel Ricciardo - not only was he wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots, but he had shaved his beard into a handlebar mustache and mutton chops, and was wearing a University of Texas basketball jersey. He joked that he was an honorary American, and he certainly wasn’t wrong.

“You look more American than I have ever felt,” Bee told him as they climbed onto the trailer. “They should probably just give you a US passport right now.” He laughed at her. “I would love that, honestly.”

Bee was dreading the interviewer, Rosanna, coming around to her, but it seemed that she was first. At least she’d get it over with. The interviews were also projected over the loudspeakers in the grandstands.

“We’ll start with you, Phoebe. It’s your first race in the United States, you’re the first American on the grid in many years, there’s a lot of people in Williams blue with American flags - how are you feeling ahead of the race today?”

“I, uh… well, maybe a bit nervous, but it’s so nice to see so much home support -” Bee had to stop talking because of the cheer that rose up from the grandstand they were passing. “And I’m really hoping that I can run a good race today for everyone. I’m sure it will be fine once the helmet is on, though. This is an amazing track and I had a really great qualifying yesterday, and there’s so many people here today, it’s really incredible to see. When I started, all of the races were under lockdown and there was no audience, and it definitely makes a big difference.”

She spent the rest of the parade waving to the crowd and talking to George for a bit. The truck they were on was going slow enough that she could finally get a good look at a lot of the crowd - not only were there a ton of American flags, but it looked like someone had produced a “Super Bee” banner that had been widely adopted - she saw tons of them dotting the grandstands.

It was the first time she’d seen it, and it gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling. She’d spent so much of her racing career being somewhat of an outcast, an outsider, an oddity. She remembered showing up to testing for GP3 and getting stared at the entire time, like nobody there had ever seen a girl in their lives. They probably hadn’t ever seen one in a racing suit. She didn’t ever think motorsport fans would embrace her like this, especially when she’d reached Formula 1, the pinnacle of motorsport.

But then, she thought about Adelle and Olivia, and how Olivia had said that there wasn’t anyone she wanted to root for before she signed with Williams. Maybe she wasn’t the only one. Maybe it wasn’t the racing fandom embracing her, but her presence changing who the motorsport fandom was. No doubt that Netflix had helped with this, bringing Formula 1 to a broader audience, but how had she changed who racing appealed to by just being a woman on the grid? It was everything she’d been working for, it was everything Susie had been working for, before her.

All the more reason to try her best today, and hopefully climb the podium at last.

Once she was freed from the drivers’ parade, she headed to the Williams hospitality tent to get changed and get warmed up. Emilia was already waiting for her in her drivers’ room. She left briefly so Bee could slip out of the jeans and team shirt she was wearing and into her Nomex baselayers and racing suit.They did their warm up sequence as usual, and Bee hopped up on the massage table, ready for the rest of it. She froze for a moment, wondering if she should take her shirt off for the massage, remembering how warm, soft, and soothing Emilia’s hands were on her back yesterday.

Emilia didn’t even have to ask before Bee made her decision, tossing the undershirt onto the small futon in the room.

“Oh, okay! I wasn’t sure if you wanted to do that again. Did it feel better yesterday with -”

“Yes. It did. Thank you.” Bee said, quickly laying face-down on the table so Emilia wouldn’t notice the blush spreading down Bee’s face. Bee could feel the heat spreading down from her cheeks to her chest, and knew it didn’t have anything to do with the Texas sunshine.

“We’ll just do it this way from now on.” Emilia said quietly. “If you want.” Bee heard the click of the cap for the lotion bottle and felt her heart start to beat a little faster.

“...Yes. I… I’d like that.” It really was much more effective. Bee was almost so relaxed by the time she sat up for her breathing exercises that she felt like she could have fallen asleep. Emilia grasped her hands again and led her through a deep breathing progression, because Bee had told her that it helped ground her yesterday.

“Okay. Are you ready?” Emilia said, handing Bee her shirt and her drink bottle after they had finished. “Drink some more. It’s hot out there and I know you’ll need it.”

Before long, it was time to head out to the car to take her place on the grid. Before Bee went to head over to the garage, Emilia stopped her. She bent down to Bee’s height, wrapped her arms around her, and said, “Good luck today. Just go out and have fun. Don’t get your head so wrapped up in the result that you stand in your own way. I know this is an important race for you, but it’s not the last one this season. I’ll be here for you no matter what happens.”

Bee returned her embrace, closing her eyes, breathing in Emilia’s presence around her. “I know. But it feels like it’s a big one. And… Thank you. For everything you do. I don’t know where I’d be without you.” She meant it, too. She never dreamed she’d develop such a close relationship with her performance coach, but she was glad she had.

They walked over to the garage together.

Bee said hello to her parents. Josephine, once again, insisted on taking pictures. One of Emilia and Bee together, one of Susie with Bee, one with Bee and her dad, and one with Bee and Claire. She asked Susie to get a picture of the two of them together, after which Bee said “Mom, I have to go! I have to get on the grid!”. She sounded perhaps a little more whiny than was necessary.

“I know, honeybee, but how many times do you get to watch your daughter race in Formula 1 for the first time in your home country? I don’t think it’s a usual occurrence! I think I’m actually the first!”

Bee laughed. She wasn’t the first, technically, but she was the first in the US.

She hugged both of her parents, Susie, and Claire, and they all wished her luck.

She walked over to her car in its place on the grid, holding her helmet and gloves. Emilia had an umbrella to protect them from the hot, direct sunshine, but she was so much taller than Bee it almost wasn’t working. “Drink some more.” Emilia said. “I know you don’t like to use the drink system in your car, so you need to make sure to finish whatever’s in that bottle before we start.”

Bee rolled her eyes a little and took more sips on the long straw, but secretly, she was touched by Emilia’s concern. She was right, though - it was going to get incredibly hot in the cockpit, and she would be more dehydrated today than usual by the end of the race.

She clambered into the cockpit while the engineers and mechanics made their final adjustments. Emilia had set her umbrella down over her so Bee wouldn’t start baking while she was sitting there. Once all of the final checks were complete, Bee had to climb back out for the opening ceremonies.

The opening presentation was very American in every way - there was a marching band (the University of Texas marching band), a flyover by military helicopters, a giant American flag on the track held by various American military personnel, a giant flag carried across the sky by people with parachutes, the cheerleaders for the Dallas Cowboys NFL team, and a country singer Bee hadn’t ever heard of singing the national anthem.

Normally, she wasn’t particularly moved by “The Star Spangled Banner”. It was okay, but she’d heard so many national anthems by now that she’d grown to have opinions on them. She liked Germany’s “Deutschlandlied”, of course, and she had liked Austria’s “Land der Berge, Land am Strome” before she’d heard it so much this season because of Max’s victories. She disliked the Dutch anthem, but liked the bouncy, cheerful “Il Canto degli Italiani” because of her love for Monza. The UK’s anthem, “God Save the Queen”, always threw her off, because she’d learned the melody as a child as “My Country ‘Tis Of Thee”, an American patriotic tune.

But as the singer on the track hit the last note, a chill shot down Bee’s spine. It was moving this time, and she didn’t know why.

Finally, it was time to start. She was glad Emilia had left the umbrella over the opening of the cockpit, otherwise, her HANS device may have been too hot to pick up with her bare hands from sitting on her seat.

She climbed into her car, put on her radio headset, balaclava, helmet, and her gloves, and her focus narrowed to her steering wheel and the view out of her cockpit. She took a minute to focus on her breath, and focus on the racing line, as she always did. She snapped her visor closed, the mechanics all backed away from the cars for the start, and she was ready for the formation lap. She took off with the pack, weaving the car to get temperature into the tires and warm up the brakes, not that it would be difficult today.

“Radio check.” She heard Gaetan say.

“Loud and clear.”

“Okay, Phoebe. Let’s have a good race today. Keep an eye on your tires, the track is hot. Let me know right away if anything seems off. Remember it’s not very long into the first turn and it’s an uphill climb, so don’t be a hero. Good luck.”

“Copy. Thank you.”

It was strange to see the cars she was behind and next to at the start - she certainly wasn’t used to seeing a Mercedes in front of her or a Ferrari next to her, but she relished it. It felt like a challenge.

Her eyes locked on the starting lights, and she held her breath as all five disappeared.

Right away, she got an amazing start - she saw a gap between Leclerc and Bottas, and swept straight through it, immediately going up into 5th place. Miraculously, there wasn’t any silliness heading into turn 1, a climb steeper than Raidillon at Spa. She pressed in her throttle, and was right on Bottas’ back as they straddled the entry curb on the right.

The nice thing about the hill was that you could brake later and harder than normal without issue, but the apex was hard to spot over the blind crest. You also had to avoid the temptation to turn into the first apex early - the wider line was superior for the best exit.

She slammed into first gear to rotate the car quickly before a quick shift into second gear, making sure to avoid the sausage curb that would wreck her exit.

Turn 2 was flat, and really just a means of getting to turn 3 as soon as possible - that was where the real fun started. A mistake here could affect your drive all the way through turn 6, even as far as turn 11, so keeping a good rhythm and flow here was of the utmost importance. It was the same as Maggots and Becketts at Silverstone.

It didn’t take long to settle into her rhythm, thankfully - by the time they were on lap 4, she was still right on Bottas’s back end as they went into turns 9 and 10. She managed to tell herself to take 9 flat, but it looked like Valtteri had lifted a bit, and she was able to gain on him. If she could stay on him until turn 11, she’d be able to use her car’s Drag Reduction System on him. Formula 1 cars had a rear wing that had a panel that opened to reduce drag - it was like getting another 20 horsepower on your engine, but it could only be used in certain sections of the track, and only while you were a second or less behind the car in front of you.

“You have DRS on Bottas.” Gaetan confirmed as they flew around the hairpin.

“Copy, I’m after him.”

She pressed the DRS button on her steering wheel, and her rear wing snapped open, granting her an additional burst of speed. She slid out of his slipstream and flew around him. She thought he’d be putting up more of a fight, but it was a long race.

She also wondered what Toto was thinking, as he watched from his spot in the Mercedes garage. Would he have been proud of her for battling with, and overtaking, one of his works team drivers, or would he be disappointed that Valtteri didn’t fight more for his place? She hoped it would be the former more than the latter.

“Good job, Phoebe. Perez is next, but he’s about six seconds ahead, and he’s gaining on Hamilton. Just hang out here for now and watch your tires.”

“Copy, thank you.”

Her and Valtteri played leapfrog for a while, trading positions, almost like it was some sort of game. This went on for about ten laps, until she was on the long back straight again, with Valtteri in her crosshairs ahead of her.

She heard Gaetan say, “Box, box, Phoebe.”

“What?! Why? It’s so early!”

“Slow puncture, losing pressure on your front left.” She hadn’t even noticed yet, but the car had so much sensitive instrumentation that the pressures likely hadn’t gotten low enough to affect her driving. She must have developed it from the curbs she ran over while chasing Valtteri.

Images of Sakhir last year flashed through her mind, when George led most of the race while he was driving for Mercedes temporarily, until a tire mixup made him have to pit twice. He fought his way back through the pack, but a slow puncture made it so that he went from almost winning the race to almost not even finishing in the points. She remembered seeing the graphic of his nameplate sinking from the top of the rankings to almost the bottom, and was now envisioning it happening now, live, on television, with her blue “STA” nameplate instead.

She wanted to throw up - who knows how many positions she’d lose pitting this early? But, she had no choice. At least she’d have a tire advantage, but she’d have to pit again later on, surely.

As a mercy, she hadn’t gone all the way past the pitlane yet, so she didn’t have to do a full lap on a tire that was losing air. Since it was a slow puncture, she could still manage around the 12-19 complex if she was careful to avoid the curbs. Those would cause a blowout that would probably force a retirement. She made it - she pulled into the pitlane and felt the anxiety rising. The pit crew changed her tires, but just as she was pulling away -

“Stop! Stop! Stop! Stay here! Red flag!” Gaetan practically shouted through her headset. His voice was abrupt, urgent.

“What?! What happened?”

“Red flag! Latifi spun into the wall at turn 11 and took Alonso and Gasly with him. There’s debris to clear and they’ll need to repair a barrier.”

“Oh, shit! Is everyone alright?” She was trying not to sound too excited, just in case anyone was hurt.

“Yes, they’re all fine, they’re out, but the track is a mess. Red flag procedure, Phoebe.”

Her relief was almost palpable. It must have happened just before she pulled into the pitlane, and she was on the opposite end of the track from the Turn 11 hairpin, which explains why she had no idea.

“Okay, how many places did we lose? What’s our position?”

“Checking.” It was hard to say, as she was the only one pulling into the pit. Unfortunately, it meant that everyone would get a free tire change, and she wouldn’t have the advantage when she exited, but now everyone else would have to either use a harder tire or stop later on.

A moment later, he said, “We are P6, you will line up behind Leclerc.”

Okay, it wasn’t as bad as she thought, she’d only lost three places. That might not be so hard to make up. The other cars came into the pit lane, and she was able to stop the car and get out. There would be another standing start, and they had an hour.

She stripped off her headwear and walked back into the garage. Emilia was standing at the entrance again, as she had been at the Bahrain red flag. But this time, instead of immediately sweeping her back into the privacy of her drivers’ room, she said, “Are you okay? Do you need to take a minute to yourself? I know that was probably pretty stressful.”

Bee shook her head. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

She found it oddly touching that Emilia was just always right there, waiting for her in case she needed her. Sure, as her performance coach, she was more or less Bee’s assistant, but they’d never discussed things like that - their relationship, their routine just naturally developed that way.

Different drivers had different ways of staying alert and “in the zone” during red flag periods. She knew Daniel Ricciardo would put on his headphones and listen to music. Some just sat in their garages, or stood in the pitlane and watched. This past year, during the rain-induced red flag in Spa, she remembered actually deciding to take a quick nap, and she hadn’t been the only one to do so. She remembered watching Kimi Raikkonen on TV infamously eating ice cream during a race in Malaysia in 2009.

This time, though, she and Emilia sat in the garage, though still sitting apart from everyone, Emilia talking to Bee about everything and nothing, as a way of trying to keep her from overthinking and getting anxious again. They would go back to do warmups again before the restart, but for now, they just chatted in German together - at least it gave them some privacy. At first, Emilia strayed away from talking about anything to do with the race, but Bee eventually started talking about the race again.

“I felt like I was going to throw up when Gaetan told me I had a puncture. I didn’t even feel it yet.” Bee said. “All I could think about was George in Sakhir last year, but the red flag came in just in time.”

“You were doing so well, though. I think you’ll have no problem making up those places again. There’s still a lot of race left. And no offense, but I’d never thought I’d see you battling for position with Valtteri. At least you did it without crashing.”

Bee laughed. “Could you imagine? I’d probably just flee the country before I had to talk with Toto about it.”

Eventually, it was time to get warmed back up, but Emilia could tell Bee was starting to get nervous again. While Bee didn’t normally get very emotionally demonstrative around other people, Emilia had noticed that Bee’s body language would change considerably depending on how she felt. When she got nervous, her movements would get stiffer, she’d start to fidget and pace, and she’d start biting her lip, or her balaclava if she was wearing it.

“Well, let’s… go finish this, I guess.”

As Bee turned around to leave her drivers’ room, Emilia seized her by the shoulders, and pulled her in close, bending down until their foreheads were almost touching, looking right into her eyes.

“Phoebe, listen. Earlier was just a warm-up. You showed them what you can do. I know it feels like today is your last chance, but it’s not. We still have so many races together. And regardless of how today ends, regardless of your place, you’re going to be successful. You’ve put in the time, you’ve put in the effort, you’ve worked so hard - it’s all paying off. Those other guys might be in faster cars, but they haven’t had to climb half of the obstacles you’ve had to to get here, and you were fighting right up there at the front with them. You can do it again. I’ll be out there on the pit wall watching when you come across the line and cheering you on, no matter what.”

Emilia pulled her into a hug. Bee was a little surprised at first, but eventually, she returned Emilia’s embrace. She had to bury her face in Emilia’s shirt though, to hide the tears that had started to come into her eyes. Even in German, she felt what Emilia had said right down to her very core.

“Okay. I’m ready. Let’s do it.”

She put her balaclava and helmet back on before she left the room, wanting to stay focused and engaged, but she made sure to wave across the garage to where her parents and Susie were sitting. She saw They all called out to wish her luck as she went back out to her car and climbed back in. She and Georged walked out of the garage together, and he wished her luck as well. At least, that’s what she thought - he already had his helmet on as well, but he gave his head a clear nod and grasped Bee’s shoulder. They gave each other a quick hug.

Once again, the mechanics made their final adjustments, and Bee’s focus once again started to narrow. Gaetan did their regular radio check, and Bee’s car was moved back out onto the grid for the restart.

Once again, her focus narrowed into the view out of her cockpit, the sounds of her own breath, the racing line, and the five red lights in front of her.

As the lights went out, she got another decent getaway. Her eyes were wide open and focused, looking for gaps. She didn’t see any, but she was breathing down Charles’ neck from the start, at least. There were 42 laps left, so, as Crofty, the F1 commentator for Sky Sports in the UK, would always say, there was “all to play for”.

She stayed calm, and patient, and eventually, Charles faltered when she was able to use DRS on him, and was back up into 5th. A few laps later, she was hunting down Daniel. He locked up on turn 14 - it was crucial to be gentle on the pedal there, but he may have gotten unnerved by Bee’s presence in his mirrors. It opened the door for her to get around him, and she did.

“Good job, Phoebe. Perez is ahead by three seconds, but we have to start thinking about tires.” she heard.

“Copy. Just let me know. Going to try to build a gap with Daniel.”

As it turns out, she didn’t have to worry about tires - Ocon had a retirement that caused a safety car, which means that everyone got a free tire change. Sure, she was once again robbed of a tire advantage, but so was everyone else.

Verstappen was in first, so he controlled the pace of the pack behind him once the Safety Car period ended. Bee hated these rolling starts, because of how much control the pacesetter had - you had to have constant awareness of when the front of the pack would start to break away once overtakes were allowed again, lest you be overtaken from behind.

If you went too early, it would mean a penalty. Sometimes, the cars in the back could be caught out. In Mugello in 2020, there was an accident at the rear of the pack when they didn’t realize the cars ahead were not at full speed.

Verstapped broke away, and Bee managed to be quick enough on the throttle to end up wheel-to-wheel with Perez for a moment. She had to back off going into a corner to leave enough space, otherwise she would have ended up getting punted into the gravel trap.

She stayed on Perez for the next few laps, but she was focusing so hard she was losing the lap count.

Luckily, Gaetan was nothing if not reliable.

“Five laps, Phoebe. Push, push. Checo is 2.5 ahead, and has been talking about tire wear. Keep the pressure up and you’ll be in DRS range soon.”

It was getting down to the wire. Phoebe pushed through all of the turns, making sure to stay right on Perez’s shoulder, just to be able to take any opportunity he might have presented. She was so close.

“Three laps left, you’re 1.2 away. Almost in DRS.”

Her pace must have been mind-blowingly quick if she’d cut that much off of their gap in two laps. Maybe he was slowing down. Either way, she couldn’t let up now. One lap later, she heard Toto’s voice in her mind as they rounded the turn 9 chicane together.

“You have to squeeze your arse cheeks and commit.”

They were almost wheel-to-wheel again, and Bee wasn’t going to back off this time.

She was through.

But then… Perez had DRS on her. Bee cursed - she should have waited to overtake him until after the DRS zone. It was a stupid mistake, but she remembered what Natalie told her when she was so angry about her late pit exit during her last outing at Monza.

“Some drivers have even made mistakes that have destroyed their entire car. A few seconds on a pit exit seems like nothing in comparison, right?”

Right. It was a small error on an otherwise stellar performance so far. Nothing to lose her head over. She did her best to keep Perez in the dirty air of her car, to defend. The DRS zone would end soon anyway. She wasn’t going to let him take his position back that easily.

“Last lap, Phoebe. Good job keeping Perez behind you.”

It was now or never. She had to be absolutely dead-on for this last lap, Perez was still on her, and the endless defense she had to put up was starting to get exhausting. She could feel herself start to falter going into Turn 12, and she and Perez were wheel-to-wheel again in the 90-degree corner, but she didn’t let up. She couldn’t. Not now.

In her mind’s eye, she saw the faces of everyone who had supported her over the years - her parents, the Wolffs, Claire, Natalie, Emilia, George, Adelle and her daughter, the dozens of fans that she’d met just this weekend. She didn’t want this podium for herself, but she wanted it for them - a tangible marker to show how far she’d come because of them, a means of thanking them, and showing her how strong she’d become with their support. It urged her forward.

And then - she saw a flash of Helmut Marko’s face. She could see him so clearly - the round, balding head, the thin gray hair, and his small, beady blue eyes. His left eye was a prosthetic and his gaze was always a bit off-center. She saw the disdainful, sour look that he had whenever he talked to her towards the end of her time at Red Bull. She thought about how he’d look from his spot in Red Bull’s garage if she snatched this podium away from his own driver. She wanted, more than anything, to deny him a double podium today.

She also imagined the inevitably pissed-off look on Christian Horner’s pointy, freckled, ferret-like face - she didn’t know Christian that well, she’d avoided ever talking to him. But, it would be a bonus.

She kept her foot down through the turn 16/17/18 series, making sure to cling to the curbs to maintain the most speed. She could practically feel Perez right on her, but she stayed firm, steadfast - it was literally the meaning of her surname, after all.

Perez was practically next to her going through the home straight, but she held her breath and stomped the throttle coming out of turn 20.

Time froze, and then dilated as she crossed the line. It was a split-second that felt entirely too long. She felt like she could feel her pulse between the thin margins of seconds it had doubtlessly been.

She saw a spray of fireworks that shot off as soon as the race leader - Max, probably, crossed the line, and she followed a few seconds later. Did she make it? She couldn’t tell. She’d seen Perez inching up to her on her right side at the last minute, but she didn’t think he’d made it through.

“PHOEBE STALLARD! P3!” Gaetan shouted through the radio. She could hear the cheering from the Williams garage in the background. “THAT’S A PODIUM!”

A scream came from somewhere deep inside of her. She didn’t even feel it coming. She’d just run the race of her life. Even through her helmet and headphones, she could hear the roar of the crowd - it sounded like a prolonged, rolling thunderclap. She practically felt it in her chest, even over the hum of the engine behind her.

She looked up and ahead of her, onto the pit wall, and saw something incredible. The crew of practically every team was clinging to the pit wall fence over the home straight, cheering for her. So it seemed, at least. She saw the British racing green of Aston Martin, Ferrari red, Mercedes white and teal (she spotted Toto easily, as tall as he was), McLaren papaya, Alpine and Williams blues - at the last second, she caught a glimpse of a tall woman, in a blue shirt, with blonde hair, grasping the upper corners of an enormous American flag - Emilia.

She was on her cooldown lap, and was speechless. Normally, a driver would thank the team, depending on their mood, but Bee had felt herself start crying. She was grasping onto the bottom of her visor, trying to wipe her eyes through the gap.

She heard Claire through her radio.

“Phoebe, that was an absolutely incredible race. I’m so proud of you, and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come with this team. I know Dad is at home watching now, and I know he’s so excited and happy right now. It’s been a pleasure to be your team principal, and I’m going to miss you so much next year.”

Bee took a breath, and swallowed around the lump in her throat.

“Thank you, Claire, for believing in me. It’s been awesome working with you, and it’s not going to be the same without you. I wanted to get a podium before the end of this season to send you out on a high note and to thank you for bringing me onto this fantastic team - you’ve all been the best part of racing in Formula 1. The spirit and heart of everyone here and in Grove keeps me motivated, and this podium is for all of you - I couldn’t have done it without you.”

It sounded corny, but she’d meant every word of it. Williams had come so far in the last two years, even with the sale and the transition of leadership, but she loved it. She was proud to have been part of the small resurgence they were experiencing.

She waved out to the grandstands as she passed by them on the cooldown lap, and it was clear that people were absolutely losing it. She could have never imagined this. She almost didn’t want to pull into parc ferme - she was enjoying this particular moment - just her, her car, and the distant shouts of her fans - too much.

But, even so, she arrived and pulled up to the 3rd place bollard (another thing she’d never imagined doing) and saw that her team had gathered around the fence to wait for her.

She was 5’2”, not even 160cm, but she felt twice that height when she climbed out of the FW43B and stood on its nose. She tossed her head back and let out the same scream she’d felt tear itself from her chest earlier - of triumph. All of the tension and pressure of the weekend was gone. She jumped down and sprinted over to the crowd of Williams team members at the gate. She wasn’t quite tall enough to jump up and on top of the barriers like some drivers did, but they did their best to reach her, and she was caught in a hailstorm of hugs, cheering, and hearty slaps on her back and helmet.

It was so loud in that crowd of people. The atmosphere was electric.

Someone - probably Emilia - placed the corner of the American flag in her hands, and she gripped it fiercely.

She turned around to see Lewis waiting for her. He grabbed her into a tight hug that lifted her off her feet, which was not difficult. He set her down, and she stripped off her helmet and balaclava. He did the same, and took a moment to re-tie his braided hair back into a ponytail

“I can’t believe it, Phoebe - you’re the first woman ever on a Formula 1 podium!” Lewis shouted over the commotion around them.

Oh. She’d forgotten about that part. It wasn’t what she’d set out to do, necessarily.

He hugged her again, patting her back. “You must have run an incredible race. I can’t wait to watch it later. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Lewis, for everything. You’ve always been so kind to me, and it means a lot.”

At the other end of the parc ferme area, there were small stands for them to place their equipment, and a scale to be weighed right near the pit lane. There used to be cool-down rooms where they did this, but they got rid of them during the abridged COVID season to maintain team bubbles. She stepped on the scale after Lewis. Claire was in the garage outside of parc ferme, standing with Emilia. She went over to them, and they both pulled her into large hugs, telling her how proud they were of her, again.

She wasn’t sure where to go next, though. The podium was on the balcony above the FIA garage area they were in, which was where the medical car was parked. Emilia shoved Bee’s drink bottle into her hands while Bee was looking around, trying to take everything in.

“Here. Drink. It wouldn’t be a good look to pass out on the podium in front of your entire country, would it?” Bee shook her head, and drank greedily. She was only just now aware of how thirsty she was. The race she ran was intensely physical, and the fatigue was only now starting to set in.

She wasn’t sure what she should be doing next, though. She wasn’t sure where Lewis had disappeared to, but she heard some cheers outside that indicated he must have been outside.

She peeked around the door of the garage to see that he was doing an interview with Jenson Button, and just as she did, the F1 employee next to her said, “You’re next, Phoebe.”

She typically didn’t hang around after races to watch the podium ceremony these days, so she was happy for the direction - this was all new to her.

She walked over to take her place in front of the microphone, and Jenson asked her a few questions. The cheer she got when she stepped out of the garage was deafening, and a flurry of American flags unfurled in the crowd. She barely paid attention to whatever Jenson was asking her, but she got through it.

She walked back into the garage area, and stood next to Lewis for a few minutes, chatting companionably with him.

“Uh…” she said. “Where do we go now? Upstairs, or -”

Lewis laughed, and grabbed her by the elbow. “I forgot, this is new for you - come on, this way.”

He led her upstairs into a small waiting area that had an FIA official. It was the “backstage” behind the outdoor podium platform, which was set up on the balcony of one of the permanent buildings at the track. She was still gripping onto the flag she’d been handed. She draped it over her shoulders.

They were also joined by someone from Red Bull to accept the constructor’s trophy for the team. She was just glad it wasn’t Christian or Helmut, but that was apparently rare. The trophy presentation party came in - they were all various local officials that she didn’t know, and…

Shaquielle O’Neal? Bee never watched basketball, but knew the enormous man when she saw him.

“We’re just about ready to start, gentleme - I mean… sorry, ladies and gentlemen.” The FIA official said, looking directly at Bee. Bee waved it off. “It’s fine. I know, this is new for all of us.”

The presentation party all filed out. Bee laughed because Shaq had to duck out underneath the door frame. Certainly not a problem she’d ever have.

“Hey, good job.” Max Verstappen told her. “I heard you gave Checo a bit of a headache. That’s not easy to do.”

It was the first thing Max had ever said to her, that she could remember.

“Ah… thank you. I tried. Congratulations to you, as well.”

He nodded a quick nod at her. “Thank you.”

“And in third place…” she heard from around the temporary wall. “The first woman to ever stand on a Formula 1 podium as a driver… Phoebe Stallard, of the United States of America!”

She walked out from behind the barrier. If she thought the cheers were deafeningearlier, this was nothing. It was incredible. She could barely hear anything else, and it was coming from everywhere - from the audience below, from the people crowded onto the paddock club balconies on the left side of the stage area. She glanced at the LED screen behind her, which was playing a pre-filmed video loop of herself making various celebratory poses - she remembered when they filmed it during pre-season testing, and it felt silly then, because she didn’t think it would even be necessary. Well, she was wrong.

They introduced Lewis and Max next, and the Dutch and Austrian national anthems played. Shaquille O’Neal handed Max the first place trophy. She congratulated the Red Bull employee standing next to her on the constructor’s trophy. Lewis received his trophy, and finally, a man came over with the small statuette for her.

She raised it aloft, and it felt like she was lifting the weight of this season, the weight of her entire career - it was everything it represented. Her own expectations of herself, her desire to perform, her desire to show the people that supported her how much she appreciated it. It was all there now, in the form of a solid metallic statuette.

“And now… the champagne!”

She barely had time to react and put the trophy down and pick her victory bottle up. It didn’t matter anyway, Lewis and Max had done this dozens of times before and were far too quick on the draw. They had both set out to drench her, too. She thought she felt Lewis actually pouring the bottle down the back of her race suit. It was sticky and smelly, but it felt kind of good in the heat.

She did her best to return the spray, but it was too late. She showered the crowd below instead. From this vantage point, she could see the faces of everyone that was there for her. She could see her parents, she could see Emilia, she could see the Wolffs, she could see Claire. She smiled and waved to all of them as they smiled back up at her.

It was just like what she’d envisioned the night before, but it was even better, because it was real. It was her goal for the season, the line she’d been striving for, and she’d made it through it all - all of the terror, all of the beauty, both in equal measure.

Schönheit und Schrecken.

It was true that Rilke had said that no feeling was final, and this feeling wouldn’t be, either. She had a few races left for this season, and had already signed for another season. There would be terror. There would be triumph, so she hoped. There would be defeat. There would be anxiety and sadness.

But none of that was here, right now. All that was here, now, was a memory that she wanted to hold onto forever.

[bullet-prooflove]

The Diagnosis - Jimmy Lanik x Reader (feat Will Halstead)

Tagging: @annieradcliff@cosmic-psychickitty@giuls-ver@crazy4chickennuggets

You weren’t talking. You were simply sitting there on the hospital bed staring at Will Halstead as he cleared his throat anxiously, awaiting some form of response to the news he had just given you. Your  eyes were wide and apprehensive, your eyebrows curved into frown as you took in the information trying to slot the pieces together. Your pink lips were set in a grim line as you attempted to gather your thoughts. Your expressions unreadable. Will couldn't tell what you were thinking and he had no idea of what the right words were to say to the wife of his colleague.

"You’re sure?" You asked him in a voice completely devoid of emotion.

Will crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded you sympathetically. He despised being the bearer of bad news, especially when it came to someone he actually cared about.

"I ran the blood work twice." Will confirmed gently.

Your hands raked through your hair, gripping it to ease the trembling that was jutting through your nerve endings.

"What's going to happen to me?" You asked Will. "Should I be preparing myself for..."

You couldn't bring yourself to say the words because the images were rife in your mind already. Will sank down into the stool beside the bed as you put your head in your hands. It was like a hole was opening up in the ground below you and you were falling so fast, you had no idea which way was up.

This was not happening, you told herself. This cannot be happening.

"We need to run more tests.” Will said softly, before reaching out and clasping your hand.

There was so much despair in your features, and he was determined to do everything he could to take care of you.

"We can't tell Jimmy about this." You murmured, shaking your head vehemently. "Not until we know for sure what's going on. He doesn't need anything else to worry about at the minute."

You were terrified, he could see it in your eyes as you withdrew from him and wrapped your arms around her torso. Will had never seen you look like this before; every ounce of colour had drained from your features.

"I won't let you go through this alone." Will promised you. "We'll just take a quick look, see what's going on and discuss a treatment plan."

That was hopeful at best. You could see that Will was trying his best to be positive but no matter what he said you knew the outlook was far from good.

Love Jimmy? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[thysanniia]

so there is a mouse living in my walls.

like all good stories, this one starts with strange noises in the night. these were noises that I, a boy who once upon a time kept guinea pigs, immediately recognised as those of a rodent gnawing/scratching on something. ok. there is a mouse in my room.

specifically, the corner of my room that is now an alcove filled with shelves, but was once an airing cupboard that housed a boiler. presumably due to the pipes, there is some empty space just behind the walls. it is in this space, behind the walls of the darkest corner, that the mouse has taken up residence.

now, mice are wonderful creatures, but this fucker decided to resume its gnawing at precisely 5:30am, for two nights running. combine this threat of disrupted sleep with the generally unsettling nature of scratching noises coming from inside the walls late at night, and you can start to understand why i was becoming paranoid and on edge each time i lay down in the dark to sleep. it was clear: the mouse had to go.

and so a mousetrap was set. i would have preferred humane traps, but this is what we had, and i just needed this mouse gone. i moved my plushies to a different room for safe keeping, and went to bed. soon enough, the noises began, and i shone my phone's flashlight down to scare it off. three things happened.

number one: it was immediately obvious that the trap had been triggered. either the mouse was lucky, or they are a much smarter foe than i had anticipated. regardless, it had failed.

number two: the noises immediately resumed. this mouse was no longer scared by my flashlight. evidently the allure of the peanut butter still in the trap made it bold, and my presence was not enough to stop it.

number three: a tiny shape moved in the crevice beyond the trap. the mouse was there, i had finally seen it. definitive proof: this ghoul that had haunted my sleep has a mortal form, and the form of a mouse it was indeed. at least it was not bigger.

and so, hunched over the edge of my bed clutching my phone with mildly trembling fingers, i began to film. i continue to catch glimpses of the creature as I sat there unmoving, unable to look away. i film for a whole 10 minutes, entranced by the presence of this mouse who's plan begins to unravel. slowly but surely, scritch after scratch, this cunning rodent bastard began to tug the mouse trap and its peanut butter prize close and closer to the hole from which the scourge came.

luckily for me, the mouse had miscalculated - the trap would not fit through the hole. it began a new approach, searching the trap for some way of accessing the peanut butter right where it was, in front of me. what were once shadowy movements of a hiding figure evolved into hints of whiskers, the glint of a beady eye, the twitching of a curious nose. and then it happened.

around the side of the mousetrap it crept. cautiously, paw after paw, it moved out from the darkness and into my phone's light, fully in view. it sniffed at the trap and then looked up. two glossy, unblinking eyes stared up and connected with mine.

the eye contact lasted a second, maybe less, before the mouse looked away and retreated back to whence it came. it continued to scratch around for a little longer, and then it left. a fleeting encounter, and yet one so unexpected and somehow deeply personal. a pang of sympathy for my nemesis hit my soul. perhaps some respect, too. i reset the trap but it did not catch the mouse.

the next day, after i shared the newly revealed face of this mouse I had discussed so much over the previous nights, a friend named them Sweetheart. well shit, that's that, they have a name and now i cannot possibly bring myself to kill them. Sweetheart must live. Sweetheart wins this time.

i have set live capture traps tonight. already i've glimpsed Sweetheart leaving the safety of the shadows to investigate the fresh scent of peanut butter.

tomorrow, we'll see where the story goes.

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Dangerous Romance Ep.7:

1. I'm excited! Who's excited? We'll finally know the aftermath of the kiss. I mean, after Kanghan explicitly told Sailom that all he feels for him is guilt, how would he explain the kiss??? 😤😤😤

2. Waaaaait, hold up. Is grandma sick??? Also, Sailom is back in Kang's house eating dinner with the family but the two still seems a whole lot of awkward with each other. 😶

3. Oh, so Kang and Sailom didn't get to talk? Dammit, Guy and Auto. Also, that's no fair, Kang - telling Sailom you don't want to see him with anybody else but still have not retracted the part that all you feel is guilt and pity for him.

4. I almost forgot that they have connected bedrooms via a shared bathroom. Oooh, the possibilities lol 😅😅😅

5. Kang: "Give it to me straight". Me: "He can't. He is gay/bi." 😂😂😂 Yeah, I'll see myself out 😅😅😅

6. I laughed when Kang asked if Sailom wants to be his boyfriend. I mean, really? Really? Just the previous episode you were ready to punch Sailom for breaking Pimfah's heart and has also broke his heart in the process. No apologies? No backsies?? WTF. 😭😤

7. It's awfully quiet back there that if I'm the car driver, I would be suspicious 😂😂😂 Also, look at Kang's smile when Sailom opened the (bathroom) door for him.

8. Okay, Kang being completely honest about his feeling for Sailom is 😭😭😭😭 but his way of flirting is 😅😅😅😅😅 .

Guys, I died laughing. I already ascended to heaven (or descended to hell, am not really fussy about these things lol)

9. On the bright side, having Kang as a boyfriend means Sailom (and his friends) will never be hangry as he kept buying food/feeding Sailom tasty treats lol

10. Oooh, so Kang decided to start gaining Sailom's friends' trust by bringing them food? What are Guy and Auto, alley cats??? Lol.

11. Oh no! Grandma, be well 😭😭😭 Why were you lifting heavy objects? You are rich! Call someone to do it for you next time 😭😭😭

(Sidenote: My Grandma did something similar. She went ahead and used a ladder to change a lightbulb in her house but the ladder collapse under her weight and she hit her hip. After that, her hip deteriorated as she did not go to a doctor because she didn't want to 'waste' money. She was never able to regain her ability to walk and had to use a wheelchair until she died.)

12. Lightning striking just as Saifah swearing that he will never manipulate Kang's grandma to buy him things is peak comedy 😂😂😂 Also, yeah I don't trust Saifah. No offence but he hasn't done anything (in this series) that paints him as trustworthy lol

13. I forgot that Sailom's fave dish is grilled fish and veggies. But how did Kang know? Lol. See, told you Kang is treating Sailom's friends like pets 😂😂😂 Ngl though, I would have eaten the snacks and still not trust Kang to pull a prank or two lol

14. Wait, did Pimfah really asked Kang or is that an excuse? Also did they tell Pimfah about what is happening them or did they just let her figure things out? 😑

15. I would ignore the fact that Kang raided Sailom's drawers (without asking, mind) to get that shirt, but focus on his relentless cheesy flirting in a public transportation lol

16. Another sidenote: I cannot believe, not even for a second, that Kang's noodle is NOT spicy. For better or for worse, authentic Thai food is almost always spicy even without the chilis. Lol. Also, not related to the plot or story, if it's available in your local Asian grocery and don't mind spicy food, try the MAMA and MAMA OK instant noodles (esp. the salted egg flavour).

17. Tbf, I don't think it is just the spicy noodles. I doubt Kang has any experience shopping in a crowded public market. I mean, as a kid, my mum also used to drag me to our country's Chinatown market (because that's where all the cheap goods are) to shop and hated every minute of it because of the crowd, the heat, and the smell of wet goods exposed under the hot sun.

18. Auto: "We are not down to earth. We are just dirt poor". Harsh, but extremely accurate lol

Also Auto: We don't mind that (Kang spending money on them). Throw it all you want. We're all for it. Throw it this way. Screw dignity! Keep throwing! Don't hold back! 😂😂😂😂

19. Kang's road to romance is a bit rocky. It's a given that Auto and (more specifically) Guy will have a difficult time trusting Kang after the bullying incident in the first episodes. However, Kang's friends are also bonafide a**holes, even without Kang's prompting. 😅

20. Where is my Guy and Nava ship??? I swear if GMMTV does this like they did TiwPor in MSP (as if an afterthought), I WILL RIOT. 😤😤😤

21. Wait a freaking minute. These are high school students. I'm not saying I was a saint at that age, but I drunk beer in the privacy of my friend's backyard lol. Pretty sure underage drinking in a public place like a bar is illegal even in Asia.

22. It turns out, Auto is the worst kind of drunk lol. Also, I believe Chimon when he said Sailom cannot dance. You'll understand if you have seen an episode of the School Rangers 😂😂😂😂

23. Uhm, Miss, stop grinding. He is gay. Lol.

24. I mean, alcohol is not the best relationship starter, but if it will set my GuyNava ship to sail, I will take it (as long as everything is consentual, ofc) 😅😅😅

25. See, it is illegal. But Auto, learn to run faster, gawd dammit. Also, what would happen to Kang? Will his father scold him? I highly doubt it since they have been painting the man as "doting" to the point that Kang cannot disappoint him because he does not expect anything great or good from Kang. However, this might ruin his political dreams, so we'll see.

26. The dad finally getting angry with Kang only because it can potentially ruin his election run is all kinds of messed up. 😑

27. At this point, Sailom has displaced Kang as the favourite grandson lol

28. Ugh, Saifah. What are you planning??? Don't ruin this for Sailom 😭😭😭😭

29. Oof. The cheerleader outfits are cute. They look like Sailormoon's transformation outfit. 😍

30. Why are you flirting in front of everyone's salad, Kang? 😅😅😅 You have a game to play. Focus. 😆😆😆

31. I know people have been pointing out the similarities between this series and BBS. I guess the true test of acceptance is when your bff learns to play well together with your (not-yet) bf in a football match 😂😂😂

32. Kang being anxious that Guy (and Auto) will never like him for missing that goal is 😔😔😔 Also, I commend Guy (and Auto) for being so sharp, it hurts lol. Unlike some "friends" (looking at you, Wai) 🙄

Officially boyfriends!!! Will Kang ramp up his cheesy flirting? Also, Saifah being on Ms Ging's medical team CANNOT be a good thing. The man is not above stealing from patients. I can smell trouble.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

The Broken Veil: Chapter 3 - Miracle

Image source from Pinterest

Unfortunately, I've had a mental health crisis while writing this story. I'm planning to stop immediately and to post all my existing chapters at once to prevent myself from returning to the project again and again. That's somewhat good for you because it means you get more chapters at once, but it's also a shame because it means we'll only get to chapter seven. It has to be done, though.

To anyone out there dealing with maladaptive daydreaming, limerence, mania, or psychotic symptoms, please know that I'm thinking of you. Take care of yourselves and don't let the fantasy pull you in any deeper than you're comfortable with.

Summary: John Wick has just agreed to kill Gianna D'Antonio, repaying the marker that gave him a life with Helen. However, Helen is trying to contact John from the afterlife, to show him that it is possible to stop the cycle of violence – not by forfeiting his own life, but by creating a fundamental shift in international systems and perhaps even the balance of good and evil in this world. But he doesn’t have to do it alone. She’s coming back.

“Heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy.” - Catherine Earnshaw, Wuthering Heights

Time is disordered as it touches the border of a timeless land.

He can almost see her, can feel her within reach.

His soul is pressed against the veil, on the brink of crossing. While there is still direction, he pushes towards Helen, single-minded. He is going home to her. They have not been so close since that day in the hospital. His life…she can feel it throb into her as if only the thinnest sheet of fabric divides them.

It’s time for the final stretch. She lets the force of his consciousness guide her towards him. His heartbeat thrumming in terror, his heartbeat soon to be stilled. She can feel the heat of his skin, his yet-unbroken skull, and the sudden pain of breaking. She has skin, she has a skull, she feels the impact of the bullet. The guilt circulating through his veins, falling forever in his stomach, bringing him down. NO.

Inhale. Helen draws back. Exhale. She slams forward into her husband’s body.

Sound, light, sensation. The veil is broken. She has him in her arms.

The floodlights are blinding, the gunshot is deafening, the air against her flesh is a sensory overload. God, it’s so different to be alive. She had almost forgotten.

She has him in her arms, and something has struck her back and fallen harmless to the floor.

Ares stares. On instinct, she fires again and keeps firing. She empties the clip but Helen has died once and cannot die again. It’s not body armor. It can’t be, because Helen is nude. There is only one small blaze of silver on her ring finger.

“John, open your eyes,” she whispers. “We’re not done.”

He looks so innocent, so confused on his knees below her. He looks only upward, respectful of her body, his chin tilted up into her face, his hyperventilating breath shuddering over her naval. “I’ve come home to you.”

“No,” she shakes her head. “I’ve come home to you.” For a moment, she can’t bring herself to turn away from him.

Ares’ backup is stepping out of the shadows, guns trained on Helen.

“Identify yourself,” someone says.

Helen turns, her body frontally exposed to their gaze and they don’t know where to look. His head is still shielded behind her abdomen. She fixes her eyes on Ares. Quietly, “My name is Helen Wick. And you…” she begins advancing, slowly, “You tried to shoot my husband.”

Behind her, John’s eyes range over the ground in a daze, caught by some flicker of light. It’s littered with crushed metal like golden coins. The same shapes he’s seen a thousand times, the same shapes that fell from his clothing earlier. Flattened bullets. It finally registers. Ares tried to shoot him, and she shot Helen. She shot Helen.

John picks up his gun.

***

Another wave of gunfire, but this time, it’s answered by a volley from between the two pale legs that frame John Wick like Roman pillars, and there’s three men down beside Ares. Some begin to flee but Ares orders them to advance. He tries to lunge forward and Helen pushes him back, covering his face. Bullets are slamming into his body, and he’d double over if she weren’t holding him upright, shoving him back down the tunnel away from the gunfire. Her hands are touching him. He’s in physical contact with Helen. The rush of it wrings some strangled sound from his chest. Then a different rush hits again: They shot her, they shot her, kill them all.

He's hurtling down the tunnel to where he stowed the M4, hand in hand with her, firing over his shoulder. He swings her smoothly around a corner, out of sight. She’s protesting but he can’t stand it if she gets hit one more time, it doesn’t matter if she’s bulletproof or not. It’s cocked in his hands and he becomes a storm.

***

John is not aware of how many times Helen saves his life. She walks in his wake, stepping over the dead, her arms open, trying to take up the whole space of the tunnel, breaking into a run when anyone gets too close. The rocks do not cut her bare feet and the bullets do not sting but she doesn’t want to be dragged away from John if someone gets their hands on her, so she keeps moving. She picks up a pistol from one of the fallen and struggles with it, but she’s never done this before and it takes her longer than it should to realize it’s empty. She wonders if this would have been easier if she were still incorporeal, ironically. She could have just slammed into the barrier and what she wanted would have…happened. But now her one power is her body, and she places it between John and the enemy over and over again.

At some point, he runs out of bullets and she watches him throw his gun at a man’s head, then sweep another to the ground and strangle him between his legs. He’s a force of nature. It feels almost like a violation to see this, somehow even more intimate than the time they’ve shared in bed. This is not for her eyes. The sweat plasters his hair against his forehead and he makes low, animal grunts. In the silence of precious moments spent reloading, his panting echoes down the tunnel. She’s desperate to hold him – whether to comfort him or to praise him or to hold him back or to join her hand with his on the trigger, she does not know, but she sees the labor of his body and she wants to be as one with him.

Finally, the shots stop ringing. There’s only his breathing as he still spins in paranoia, checking all directions, ragged waves filling the space from wall to wall with overwhelmingly intimate noise, then gradually slowing. “John.” She approaches him carefully. He has still hardly looked at her yet.

“…Helen?” He stares at her as if for the first time.

“Yes. It’s me.”

Her skin glows angelic in the floodlights. He can barely hear himself speak. “This is impossible.”

“A miracle, maybe.”

His hand moves haltingly toward her shoulder and caresses it. Her touch does not feel distant. Her voice does not come from somewhere impossibly far away. He can smell her scent, that little, warm, animalistic scent that doesn’t even come to him in dreams. He’s speechless. “Are you…what…” He struggles for another long moment. “You were dead.”

“I am dead. But I’m also alive. The veil is broken.”

Again, that strangled sound from inside him, and he throws his bulk against her wordlessly, his head buried in her shoulder. She can feel his face twist up against the side of her neck as he breaks down and just sobs. Her arms pull crushingly tight around his back, fists clenching handfuls of his suitcoat, unwilling to let him go. They stand that way for a long, long time.

“I love you. I love you and you’re gone, you’re-gone,” he gasps, fighting against the hope of what cannot be. His chest is heaving against hers. “I…miss you so much.”

“John.” She lifts his face, which is marbled over with a glaze of blood and water. He half turns away, overwhelmed by the sight of her, but she holds him fast. “I love you so much. I am here.”

She sees something finally register. “God. How?”

“I wish I had answers, but there are no answers on the other side. I just kept trying to get back.”

He sinks against the wall, his eyes ranging over the mass of bodies lining the corridor in horror. “You saw…” He hides his face in his hands and chokes out, “I’m so sorry. You were never, ever supposed to see me like this.”

She drops beside him and pulls him back into her arms. “No. No no no no. You don’t understand. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

When he’s calm enough she pulls back and looks at him with fire in her eyes. “You were right to kill them. I’ve wanted to say this to you for so long, ever since I died, but I couldn’t speak. You’re allowed. You’re allowed to be angry with the people who are caging you in, who are trying to take lives like ours and twist them into a wreckage, who are forcing you to do what you know to be wrong. The fact that people have made you kill your own friends, kill just to be with me, kill just to keep breathing...it's an atrocity.” He’s shaking with tears but she doesn’t even pause for a breath. “They've backstabbed you, treated you like a human weapon, took your childhood, took your peace. It's not your fault. They tried to twist you up in every way they could and STILL you never became a monster underneath, STILL you're tender and uphold your ethics and care so much about people that it scares you. I love that about you. And I love you. I love you so much. That is what I meant to tell you with that damn rose. I wasn’t saying you should pay with your life. I want you to fight back even harder. Don’t do a god damn thing they say.” He presses his face into her shoulder again and wails with anguished joy.

At length, gasping, he lifts his head and manages to speak. “I love you too. I need this, I…you have no idea how much I need to hear that from you. I can’t-I can’t live without you. I fall apart.”

She corrects him gently. “You can, but I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I’m here with you.”

“But I don’t know what to do. What choice did I have, other than completing the job or accepting my fate? I’ll die for not fulfilling the marker. I will be HUNTED, Helen, you don’t understand. Santino will take out a hit on me. The only way that stops is when he’s dead. Then I’ve killed the marker holder and it’s High Table jurisdiction. That’s international, and there will be thousands-”

“Not if you take down the entire High Table.”

For a long time, he just stares. “That’s an army. That’s war.” But he’s almost smiling. She IS smiling.

“You want things to be different. I want to help you make them different. I didn’t understand this when I was alive, but there are things you and I are capable of…there are things that need to change…We’ll talk. But for now we need to keep you safe. We can’t stay here. Are you…okay? How bad are you hurt?”

He just looks at her, struggling to speak. He thought the only person who would ever care to ask him that was dead. She waits. It’s like old times. He always seemed to have trouble starting a sentence, let alone finishing one. “…Nothing that won’t heal.”

“And are you okay? How are you feeling? I’ve given you quite a shock.”

“I…” His vision blurs over with tears again. “I…” At first it seems that this is too difficult a sentence to finish altogether. “I will remember this day for the rest of my life.”

She pulls him up, taking the weight of exhausted muscles and he can’t resist embracing her once again when he’s upright. He starts to give her his suitcoat and she stops him. “No, you need that. I can take any clothes, I just need to be decent for the street.” He starts pulling the jacket unceremoniously off of the nearest corpse. It engulfs both her hands and hangs just below her privates, making her look like a smitten teenager wrapped in her boyfriend’s hoodie. She picks up the body’s handgun. John peeks at her sideways and downright blushes, then insists they take the pants and boots too.

He exhales, still trying to steady himself. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

She kisses his cheek lightly. “Believe it.”

He’s laughing, actually laughing. He feels young again. Waves of giddiness keep washing over him. He takes his wife’s hand in his – his wife’s hand! – and they pick their way through the catacombs towards the clear Italian night. He would skip if he weren’t limping, but instead, each time he stumbles, she takes his weight and keeps him walking. He has never been supported by someone after killing. Never, even when she was alive. He would come home two days later, mostly mended, and she would tend to him then, but the exit from battle itself had always been a long, painful march of shame. It is so humbling to see how she steadies him, waits for him, pauses now and then to hold him again, staving off shock with the warmth of her body, even knowing everything he did. This may be a dream, but he doesn’t care to wake up.

Standing at the mouth of the catacombs, there’s a figure, leaning against a car. Helen can feel John go tense as he recognizes Cassian. The figure’s arm stays at his side, but it’s close to his gun. “Who’s with you, John?”

They’re still hidden in shadow. “First, why are you here?”

“I’m curious why you lied to me.”

“…Felt like getting shot.”

“You got over that pretty quick.”

“Yeah.”

Helen steps forward, the light breaking over her features as she does so. She extends her hand to Cassian. “Helen Wick. Pleased to meet you.”

Cassian doesn’t move. He looks straight at John. “The fuck?”

“Shake hands with my wife.” It’s not a request.

He does. “I apologize for the incredulity. I’ve been told you’re dead.”

“It’s quite alright.” She makes no further explanation.

“For what it’s worth…good for you. Both of you. Love is unlikely in our circumstances. I understand that on a personal level.” He steps up to John. “John, you spared my ward. Someone close to me. She and I both want to know how we can repay you.”

“Gianna wants to know what I expect from her.”

He stiffens. “I genuinely am grateful to you. But yes, that is the chief reason I’m here. We appreciate what you’ve done. But I hope you understand that she can’t single handedly make the marker go away.”

“I don’t need to be spared by the High Table. I didn’t do it for a debt.”

“Then why? I get it, you have a death wish, but…this puts both of you in danger.”

“I’m not dying. And sure as hell no one is killing Helen. We live on our own terms now.”

He frowns with pity. John will be executed, that’s unavoidable. “Fair enough. You’d better take your head start then. The hit hasn’t been placed yet. Gianna went underground immediately, and we’re about to tell her brother that she’s dead. I don’t know how long it will take him to learn the truth, but some time is better than none. You still have my thanks. If you need to contact me…” He passes John a slip of paper with a phone number. “I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to help. But don’t hesitate to call.”

He nods. “Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Wick.”

Cassian steps into his car and he’s gone.

Helen twines her arm through his again. “Point the way, John.”

They start to walk. Rome is gold, gold, gold, even at night. Again he says it, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll never be able to say it enough. I thought I could never tell you again.”

“But you did, many times. I was listening.”

“You could hear me?”

She pauses. “I’m trying to figure out how to describe it…I couldn’t hear words at first. I could feel what you felt, from the moment I died. That felt…inviolable. I can still feel it now and I know that it will never be broken. Words emerged over time as I started trying to come back. And images. But it isn’t like seeing and it isn’t like hearing…it’s very strange. It takes so much effort to bring them to the surface.”

“You told me to let go. But you didn’t.”

“Neither did you.”

“I tried. But then…” He falters and his footsteps halt. “Helen, I have something to tell you about the…dog you got for me…”

“I know. She appeared to me when she crossed. Probably looking for someone connected with you. That’s when I knew something was wrong and I couldn’t leave you alone. I guess you could say she sent for help.”

For the fourth time that night, John is sobbing into his wife’s chest.