#but i have thought about writing something with finnick being alive

[mzannthropy]

I don't know why the algorithms insist on showing me Hunger Games stuff. I know they have this snakebirds and songs prequel, or whatever the title is, but why does anyone think I care??? And it can't be all bc of Finnick, bc I've been into Sam Claflin for over 3 yrs and it was never like this. I make no secret of the fact that I have a very difficult, complicated and painful relationship with this series, but I avoid mentioning it, bc I prefer focusing on things I like. I feel like I've complained enough this year already. But I swear to all the gods, if this doesn't stop, I will unleash the fucking demons.

You have been warned.

[http-finnick]

𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞.

finnick odair x fem!reader

summary: finnicks pov on how the capitol tortured and used you while he stands useless in district 13. once saved, he quickly realizes you aren't the same.

request: i just discovered your blog! It came up in the stuff Tumblr thinks I might like! Finnick seeing the broadcasts of the reader and Peeta. The rescue scene where they reunite. But reader wasn't tortured with Finnick, like lPeeta was with katniss. Sad and the reader having to get used to life again. Finnick almsot crying bc she jumps at loud noises, flinches. And at first she can't handle being touched. At all. Like they hold hands after a week.

a week ago I saw you on the tv. you weren't in your mother's dress getting reaped, you weren't fighting for your life in the arena. you were perfectly put together as you begged me to stop something you would die for.

I sat silently in the dining hall as people raged and threw insults at the seemingly disgusting capitol-loving traitors but I sat there knowing that you were being tortured. you are going through hell and there is nothing I can do about it.

.

I was in my pure white room as I rubbed my dry eyes to the new lighting, blurred vision, and ringing ears making out nothing until I hear

"They found her"

They found her? what, is she dead? did they find a body? did the capitol realize they didn't need her anymore and strung her up as a warning to others? caught and killed. know your place.

of course, dead or alive I fell out of bed and followed who I found out to be katniss, pure white walls and pure white tiles are all my eyes see until we stopped at a room and katniss turns to me.

"look, she's been through hell. all of them have been..I- fuck, peeta hates me. just, keep your distance" she warns before walking off and I can't help but linger on the words keep your distance... she's been out of my reach for god knows how long and you want me to sit across from her watching my words? fuck no.

I open the door, adrenalin running high as step in and look up to see her

but she doesn't see me

she knows who I am I know that. but, her eyes, she doesn't...feel right around me...like I'm a stranger

I'm already feeling like tears are running down my face and I haven't even said hi yet

"Y/n" the words choke out as I stumble a few steps towards her, she flinches slightly and my heart shatters.

"Hi, finnick" her voice is hoarse, scared. she brings her knees up to her chest as she takes her busted lip into her mouth, rather sucking the blood of her wound than speaking to me

maybe katniss was right I think, grabbing a chair and sliding it over to her, taking a seat I grab the blanket of the bed and whisper "I'm so sorry" as tears pick and poke my glassy eyes

"me too"

.

She's out of the hospital and I go to bed with her by my side, to wake up with it being empty.

shes been sleeping on the bathroom floor lately, the first time I found her there I thought she died.

she shakes and jumps when a door closes and doesn't let me touch her, even to console her when she's woken up from a nightmare. I feel tears run down my face when she lets me grab onto her hand for the first time in weeks.

so, when I tell you I cried. I cried as she cupped my face and brought her lips towards mine, soft as ever as she lays her head on my chest and whispers,

"I missed you, so badly"

"I missed you too"

an: sorry this took so long! I had lots of fun writing from finnicks pov! it was quite the challenge to write about lost, found, and recovered all in one short drabble but I hope I did an alright job! i love you guys so much! mwah <3

[maximoffwitch]

I love johanna mason, could you do something like reader was In the hunger games before her and they met when Johanna won, and they got close like close and then the 75th hunger games come and both of them get pick to go in. You can choose which districts she from, but maybe just her and johanna In the arena together. (Sorry, it's a lot)

The Calm in the Storm

pairing: johanna mason x reader

warnings: blood, canon typical violence, slight mention of ptsd

word count: 1.6k

summary: You have an effect on Johanna that no one else does. In other words, Katniss should thank you for saving her life from the rage of your girlfriend.

a/n: thanks anon for sending this request in!! this is my first time writing for johanna and the hunger games so it might be a little ooc or rough lol, but i hope u all enjoy this lil story :))

“Someone’s here,” Katniss alerted, immediately drawing an arrow from her quiver.

You stayed behind the younger girl, barely peeking over her shoulder as Finnick looked on through the leaves.

When Finnick had first approached you about the alliance with the District 12 tributes, you were hesitant. But as he further explained Plutarch’s plan, the more willing you became.

Despite being the same age as you, Finnick was your mentor when you won your games, so you trusted his gut. After all, he was a big reason you were still alive.

“Johanna,” you barely heard him mutter. Before you could even register the three distant figures, Finnick took over running. “Johanna!”

“Finnick!” Johanna’s voice echoed across the beach, piercing through your foggy thoughts.

“Johanna?” you whispered to yourself before you pushed past Katniss and took off running behind Finnick, leaving a bewildered pair of victors behind you.

As you got closer, you noticed she was covered in blood and you felt your chest tighten. “Johanna,” you swallowed the knot in your throat, fearing the possibility she had been severely injured.

“It’s not mine,” she reassured, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You saw her guard soften for a brief second before shooting right back up as Peeta and Katniss approached.

“Well, I got them out,” Johanna turned back towards Finnick. “We were all the way deep into the jungle, where I thought it was gonna be safe.

“That’s when the rain started. I thought it was water. Turned out to be blood,” she explained as Wiress continued to repeat “tick tock” over and over again.

“Hot, thick blood,” Johanna moved the older woman out of her way, clearly not wanting to be touched. “It was coming down. It was choking us. We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind.”

You took a few steps towards her with the hopes of trying to calm her down. Wiress continued to mutter the same two words, starting to irk even you.

“That’s when Blight hit the force field,” Johanna took a deep breath, and you tentatively put your hand on the small of her back. She visibly calmed for a moment, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. “He wasn’t much, but he was from home.”

“Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock,” Wiress put a hand on Johanna’s shoulder, and you could see the annoyance written across Johanna’s face; her patience was wearing thin.

“What’s wrong with her?” Katniss furrowed her brows.

“She’s in shock,” Beetee explained from the water. “Dehydration isn’t helping. Do you have fresh water?”

“We can get some,” Katniss answered.

Wiress braced both hands on Johanna’s shoulders, desperately pleading, “Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.”

Backing up from the pair, you watched as Johanna threw the older woman to the sand.

“Hey! Get off her!” Katniss yelled, moving quickly to push Johanna. Your eyes widened. You knew this could end dangerously for both women if the situation wasn’t deescalated. Quickly, you shot Finnick a glance, urging him to do something, to which he gave you a small nod.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Johanna protested, as she tried to defend herself.

Before more shoves could be thrown, or before weapons could be drawn, Finnick stepped in separating the two, “Hey, hey, hey,” he pulled away a screaming Johanna, moving her towards you.

“I got them out for you!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Finnick murmured, his arms still wrapped around her.

“Let me go, Finnick!” she yelled, trying to shrug him off.

This time, it was his turn to shoot you a glance over her head, telling you it was your turn to take over.

“Let me go,” Johanna ordered, and you raised your eyebrows at Finnick, who relented, releasing her, “I’m fine.”

“Jo,” you held out your hand with the smallest of smiles, “come on.”

As she looked down at your hand, you saw a wave of tension leave Johanna’s body. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed your hand and let you pull her towards the water.

“Let’s get you washed off,” you suggested, the two of you already waist deep in the water. “Lie back.”

Johanna rolled her eyes childishly and grumbled, “I’m not a child, (Y/N).”

“I know, Johanna,” you agreed with a hum, running your thumb across the back of her hand you still held. “Just let me take care of you.”

Johanna visibly softened, squeezing your hand as an apology. You were the only person who put her as their first priority. Even Finnick, though he had a huge heart of gold, had Annie. But you, you always looked out for her.

The two of you met the year after Johanna won her games when you were both mentors. Though many were put off by her abrasiveness and sarcasm, you knew that it was all just a facade. You, too, had spent the years after your games and during your mentoring creating a persona for the capitol.

You were drawn to Johanna’s intelligence and strength, not to mention her beauty of course, so you made the effort to get to know her, the real Johanna.

While she was wary of you at the first, cautious of your charm and outgoing nature, Johanna realized that that was your own coping mechanism for dealing with your trauma.

As both of you let your walls down for each other, you became closer and closer, realizing what you had was beyond friendship. You loved her, and she loved you.

You were the one to comfort her after she woke up screaming from nightmares, or to train with her in the late hours when she couldn’t sleep. And you always listened and validated her feelings, even when they were being yelled and cursed aloud.

And Johanna, she was the one to protect you from anything and everything, even Finnick, when he pinned you during sparring. She was the one who held you when you cried, soothingly whispering calming words. And Johanna, no matter what, always said ‘I love you’ before the day ended.

In a world that didn’t care, the two of you found solace in each other.

Johanna followed your order and lied back in the water so she was floating, your hand offering support on the small of her back.

“Close,” you hummed as Johanna shut her eyes. Carefully, you splashed water over her face and cleaned off the blood that coated her skin. “Open.”

Opening her eyes, Johanna was met with the sight of you and she swore she could cry.

Despite cuts and dirt littering your face and sweat clinging to your hair, she swore you looked more beautiful than ever. You wore an endearing smile as you looked down at her, gently guiding her head back so her hair was soaked in the water.

As you ran your hand through her hair, watching the blood dye the blue water, Johanna hummed.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you lightly scratched her scalp.

“My thoughts are worth a lot more than that, (Y/N/N),” Johanna smirked, causing you to chuckle and roll your eyes.

“Do you think it’ll be worth it?” Her voice became more solemn and her lips pursed together.

“What?”

“Saving Katniss,” she let out a dry laugh as she moved to stand up right in the water. “This whole Mockingjay rebellion.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, her question raising all the doubts you had when Finnick originally proposed this plan to you.

“I hope so,” you whispered, pulling her closer by her waist so you were nearly hugging. “I’m done being a piece in their games, aren’t you?”

Johanna nodded but didn’t say anything. Furrowing your brows, you used the pad of your thumb to wipe a streak of blood that was still on her cheek.

“Love?” you prodded.

“Do you ever wonder why one of us wasn’t the Mockingjay?”

“Johanna,” you sighed, trailing off.

“I mean I get why not me,” she continued. “Nobody likes me. But you…?”

“Hey!” you protested, wrapping your arms around her neck. “I like you.”

Johanna bit back a genuine smile. “Thank god for that,” she cupped your cheek and connected your lips. Despite the saltiness from the water and the faint metallic taste lingering from the blood rain, you could still taste the pine from the District 7 Johanna carried everywhere – one more thing from home.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Finnick shouted from the beach, causing the two of you to break apart, and you rested your forehead against hers. “Katniss has something!”

Johanna sighed before pecking your lips quickly, wanting to savor the moment.

“Come on,” you took her hand as the two of you waded towards the shore. “It sounds important.”

As you reached the dry sand, Johanna pulled you back before you could reach the others. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” you turned back around, concern laced in your voice.

“I love you,” she stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You grinned, wrapping her in a tight hug. “I love you too,” you whispered into the crook of her neck.

“Let’s go see what the girl on fire wants,” Johanna teased as you separated.

You could only roll your eyes as she smirked, the two of you rejoining the group.

As Katniss explained that the arena was some sort of clock, you remained close by Johanna’s side, basking in the warmth she radiated. Listening to the explanation, you felt everything to click into place, only causing your anxiety to heighten. Johanna, being able to read you like a book, discretely interlaced your fingers with hers and gave your hand a quick squeeze, helping ease your nerves slightly.

Amidst the chaos and brutality of the games, you were grateful to have her to ground you; and for Johanna, you were the calm in the storm.

[l5byrinth]

evermore

“and when i was shipwrecked, i thought of you.”

pairing: finnick o’dair x reader

summary: even in the dark times, even when the pain seemed to be for evermore, the thought of you made that all go away.

requested!

warnings/contains: angst maybe, fluff, lmk if i should add more

a/n: with this fic i realised how bad i actually am in writing. i apologise anon for not doing your request any justice i will probably rewrite or edit it once i’ve finished writing all the requests. TYSM for this request tho i absolutely love writing tswift inspired fics 🤭🤭

Where did it all go wrong.

That was the question that kept you up at night and haunted you during the day. It was strange how, no matter how hard you tried to please people, they still found a reason or way to stab you in the back. Finnick was one of the many people, who obeyed the capitols every wish. The main reason being to save his loved ones. And even that wasn’t enough.

No, because the people wanted entertainment, they wanted something more. They wanted to be astonished, blown away.

You knew that by now. Because why else would president Snow make the decision to reap from the existing pool of victors. Because why else would the love of your life, the person you called your home be reaped again. It was all to satisfy the capitol and make them feel even more powerful than they already are.

The moment the woman from the capitol fished a small piece of paper out of the bowl with the reaped one’s name on it, you knew it would be Finnick. When she said the first letter, your prediction was confirmed. And without even hearing the entire name, you broke out into tears.

You watched as your boyfriend tried to be nonchalant about it, smiling through the pain like he always did. But when they zoomed in on his face, you were crying uncontrollably. It didn’t help that you weren’t allowed to come with him either.

However, until the day he left the district you both lived in, you never left his side. Even if it weren’t allowed, even if it meant being threatened by the peacekeeper. Frankly, you couldn’t care less, because all you could care about was your Finnick. The one who was about to relive the torture he did when he was fourteen all over again.

All you could do now was watch him through a screen, something about it bringing some sort of comfort. Because you could see him.

The day of the ceremony was a tough one.

You could tell from everything you saw of him, that the stress and anxiety had gotten to him.

And you were right. He couldn’t function properly without you by his side. Finnick felt as if all the life was sucked out of him and that he would never feel alive again. Nonetheless, he smiled like he was enjoying fighting for his death again. He had to put on a show or else his chances of survival would decrease.

The way the crowd cheered when he was standing next to Caesar flew over his head. Because his thoughts were absolutely consumed by you. Flickerman talked to him, but he didn’t process a single word he was saying. “I heard from a little bird that you have message for somebody. A special somebody.” Caesar said, emphasising the special as he looked at the audience with a smug look.

Finnick’s smile turned more genuine when Flickerman mentioned the special somebody, which was you. The thought of hopefully seeing you again was the only thing keeping him from going insane. So with you in his mind, he started talking in the microphone. “My love,” The crowded room screamed hysterically, but he talked over it, his lips quivering, “You have my heart. For all eternity.”

The image of you sitting on the couch popped into his head and he wished desperately that he was with you right now. “And if…” He continued, but he had a hard time finding the right words. Flickerman nodded at him encouragingly, wondering where this was leading. “If I die in that arena… my last thought will be of your lips.” Your boyfriend tried his best to hold his composure and appear calm and confident, but inside he was breaking down.

After that, the games went by in a blur. The only thing you could vividly remember during the hard times, was the dream you had about Finnick. A dream that you would cherish forever, because it gave you hope of him surviving.

Soon enough, before you knew it, the capitol had taken you because of what happened during the quarter quell. You were watching the games, hoping that the plan your lover and his allies had made would go well. And remember Katniss shooting a bow at the middle of the dome. Before you knew it, the peacekeepers were infiltrating your house. They took you with them, but you can’t recall exactly how and what happened then.

When being held captive by the capitol, Finnick was the only thing you thought about. You weren’t aware if he was alright or not and it scared you more than anything. You snapped out of your thoughts when there was a knock on your door. President Snow himself walked in, accompanied by a woman you had seen by his side a lot recently. It took everything in your power not to jump at and attack him, so you did in your imagination. You imagined strangling him as he talked to you, however, you didn’t care one bit about what he was saying.

But as soon as your lover’s name was mentioned, your ears perked up. “We will find him, dear. And when he sees you, it won’t be long before he will leave district thirteen.”

Some kind of joy bloomed inside your chest, because even though his statement scared you, you were relieved that your Finnick was alive and well.

Finnick didn’t know anything about your state, but he blamed himself for everything that happened to you. He shut himself in his room all day, thinking about you, wishing he was with you, thinking about how things would be like in an alternative universe. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings anymore, being absolutely consumed by and in his thoughts.

Your name was the only word that left his mouth.

One day, Finnick heard about the plans to save you, Johanna and Peeta. And from that day on, he was more involved in everything that happened. Because all he wanted was for you to be with him again and he would do everything it took to get

you back to him. The day of executing the plan finally came and it went by swiftly, however for Finnick, it felt as if a million years passed by. Everything felt out of place without you.

After his interview, which was meant to distract both president Snow and the capitol, he rushed to Katniss. He interrogated her about if it had worked, but even she was unsure if it was a success.

Finnick waited for hours, pacing through his room anxiously. The only thing running through his mind being you, like always. He started to realise how just the thought of you had brought him so far. Because without you, he wouldn’t have cared if he passed away in that arena. Without you, he wouldn’t do his best to keep himself alive and to openly talk about what Snow did to him. Because for you, he would do anything. Anything you wanted him to do.

When he heard yelling coming from down the hall, his eyes widened. Was it possible that they were back with you guys already? Finnick didn’t waste any time and before he knew it, he was standing next to Katniss, waiting for Coin to tell them what was going on. But when he saw Johanna lying on a hospital bed, he knew enough.

You were somewhere here too.

He greeted Johanna, thankful that she was saved as well, before looking around to find you. Finnick asked every person he ran into, anyone that might know where you were. But everyone was so busy with everything they were doing, that they didn’t respond to him.

At this point, Finnick entered any room there was, in hopes to find you after the long separation. He searched every room, investigated every hall, but there was no sign of you.

Your lover was frantically looking around, when you awoke. And even though you were unaware about where you were, the only thing that mattered was that Finnick was right there. You wanted to call out his name, but there was no sound coming out of your mouth.

But you didn’t need words, because your boyfriend could feel your presence. When your gazes locked, Finnick didn’t waste a second when making his way over to you. He pushed away everyone that crossed his path, and pushed the doctors surrounding you aside.

Finnick halted right next to you, tears swelling up in both your and his eyes. He picked you up, not caring about the man that told him not to. He wrapped his arms around you so strongly, you were sure you would never get out of his grip.

Many tears left your eyes as you were finally in the arms of your home.

Finnick pulled away after a long time and took a good look at you, before pressing his lips against yours like a starved man. Hungry for you and your touch, he kissed you like you were all alone, with no one around. The only reason the two of you pulled away, was the lack of oxygen, and when you did you flashed him a smile.

“I finally kissed the lips that were on my mind the entire time.” Finnick whispered, his arms still wrapped around you. With a chuckle you planted another kiss on his lips, before pulling him in again for another hug. Being with your lover restored all the hope and will to live again.

And with him you were sure, that this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.

[puckleberryfinnie]

covey!reader in the quarter quell (opening ceremony!!)

read these first for this to make a bit more sense!

original idea post: click me!

introduction story: click me!

thank you to anyone who showed support in any way on the first introduction for this, it means a lot <33 there’s a lot of just reader content in this (mostly because I’m still working on doing a large amount of dialogue between characters), so if you want, you can skip to later down into this to find more interesting stuff!!

summary: reader goes through the opening ceremony process, meeting people along the way!! - reader meets a bunch of the characters! (Finnick, Johanna, Katniss and Peeta)

warnings: fem!reader, slight mention of ptsd?, alcohol, really bad writing (specifically dialogue)

“Get to know those new winners, the lovers. It’ll be good for your image,” she had said, pouring herself another cup. “It’s not lookin’ too good, kiddo. I’ll miss ya’, if I’m honest.”

Both of you knew your partner- the 50 year old, previous farmer, current jobless winner, would be no help to you. He’d made it known very early on that he hated you- hated the Covey as a whole, if we’re being honest. No amount of kindness, no amount of cheerful smiles could make this man like you. If he saw you in the games, he’d kill you. No hesitation, especially if it meant his chance at survival.

The predestined goodbyes made your heart ache, but in reality, they were better than none at all. Getting one last word in was something of importance to you, with anyone you loved. The games had forced you to realize the value of human life more than ever.

Those lovers, though. Katniss and Peeta- You’d have to understand them, before you arrived. Even if you couldn’t make it out alive, you’d like friends in your final moments. Someone to talk to. The last games had been filled with sleepless nights alone, humming melodies to the mockingbirds in the trees. “K-A-T-N-I-S-S,” typed slowly into your search engine device, one implanted into a high-tech table on the traveling train, headed for the Capital. Millions of articles popped up, lighting up the screen with bold titles, attached with colorful images. This Katniss girl, she was something different from the tributes you’d met. There was no determinable factor to it, she just had something about her that made you curious. You dismissed the thought, closing out the browser before turning your head, looking out the fast-moving train through the pristine, freshly cleaned windows.

It didn’t take too long for you to arrive at your all-too-familiar destination- the Capital buildings towering over you, providing shade for your short trip to the training/housing facility. There were people calling out your name as you walked along the gold paved path, asking you questions. All of them wanted to get the inside scoop on the nearly-dead, newly returned tributes, getting their last words before they reached the end of their life. You smiled, waved, said hello to the reporters before escaping them through the front doors of the tall building in front of you.

The outfits available to you for the opening ceremony were better this time around. Your stylist, bless her heart, knew nothing of Covey fashion, and struggled with finding something with farmy-like elements of District 11 while still reaching the level of luxury an event like this one required. This year’s selections were much better- she took the Covey’s bright colors, taking inspiration from patterns found in the little art markets that used to be found in District 11 and 12, tended to by Coveys looking for some extra money for dinner. You picked the one you found the most suitable for yourself, knowing you’d at least semi-match with your partner.

Exiting the building into an area close to the path for the ceremony, you saw many familiar tributes standing around. Johanna Mason. Finnick Odair. Beetee and sweet old Mags. Despite the screaming from the crowd who’d catched a glimmer of your appearance, you calmly walked towards your pair of horses, placed in front of District 12’s. Katniss was standing there, brushing her hand along her horse.

Walking up to Katniss wasn’t a problem- your mama raised you to be confident like that, knowing that’s the only way to live the Covey life. Smile raised, you prepared to give a classic Covey welcome, sure to draw anyone in!

“Katniss, right? Y/N L/N! I love the dress.”

Poor Katniss had been a bit frightened, not planning for anyone to approach her during this experience. She’d seen you before, though- in the games before hers. She’d remembered Prim saying something about her wanting to win the games like you had- no killing, no violence perpetrated on her part. It’d stuck with Katniss after her own games, knowing she’d played against her sisters ‘morality rules’ with her ever-lethal bow and arrow.

Haymitch had mentioned the girl, too- “she’s not much of a threat- that voice of hers is her only weapon when it comes down to it. But she’s smart- slick and sneaky in the arena. An ally like her would mean more sponsors (her adoring fans) and better hiding places.”

Before Katniss could even get in a word to you, a large arm was wrapped around your shoulders, making you tense up slightly before relaxing at the slight of the boy next to you. Finnick. Finnick Odair. You didn’t know him very well, but whenever you sang for those Capital parties, he’d make sure to send a compliment your way, sauntering off after talking for a moment.

“Now, what’re you girls talking about? Me, I’d suspect?” Finnick gave Katniss a nod before looking down at you, smirking.

“You wish, golden boy,” you laughed, taking a closer look at his ensemble of clothing (or lack thereof) for the evening. You turned back to Katniss, still very aware of the touch between you two.

Katniss gave a strange look to the two of you before saying “Yeah, definitely not talking about you… maybe that ridiculous outfit, though.”

“Ouch! I think it looks pretty nice, don’t you think, singer girl?”

“It’s alright, I guess. Not much to look at, though.” You answered.

“Oh, believe me, singer girl, there’s plenty to look at.” He winked, before walking off with a smile on his face.

You watched as he walked away, realizing what he was insinuating. You slowly turned back towards Katniss, shaking your head before resuming your conversation, the one left unattended when Finnick had blessed the girls with his presence. Now, however, a new person has joined your duo- Peeta. Peeta looked a lot kinder than Katniss, his overall aura more inviting.

“Anyways- I wanted to come meet you, given we’re the two newest winners.” You smiled before lowering your voice to a quiet whisper, leaning closer to the pair. “Covey has loved what you’ve done so far, with the movement and everything. I’ll help in any way I can.” Noticing the cameras pointed right towards you three from above you, you ended the conversation as quickly as possible with: “Well, thank you for your time! I better get to my ride before it leaves without me.” You waved before walking quickly to your place in line, fixing your outfit before getting ready in your pose.

The opening ceremony was the same as last year, for the most part. Not as much smiling, though. A lot more frowns and angry faces were found on the faces of tributes highlighted on the giant projector screen. You kept your smile, though. Smiling and waving is what you knew best. Before long, the event was over, and you found yourself heading to your assigned room. Considering your living space was the second highest floor (District 11 bonus!)taking an elevator was your most efficient mode of travel. There weren’t too many tributes left on ground floor level, most of them had found their way to their rooms at this point.

“Mind if I step in, Songbird?” Johanna Mason, leaning against the elevator door, smiling expectantly at you, waiting for an answer.

“No, no, I don’t mind. Come on in!”

Johanna strutted into the elevator, standing awfully close to you, both of your shoulders almost touching.”Thanks. Johanna, by the way.” She said, turning towards you.

“Lovely to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

“Oh, believe me, I know your name. I see you singing those songs of yours all the time. Pretty good, if you ask me.”

“Oh? Well, thank you! It’s… disappointing that my music will be going away pretty soon… with the games and all…”

“I think there’s some more song left in you, Songbird.’ Johanna sent a slight smile your way before stepping forward with the ding of the elevator. The doors open to her floor, and she steps out before turning around again, “Nice talk, Y/N. See you soon.” The doors close, leaving you alone in the elevator.

You fell asleep promptly after arriving in your room- the day had been quite tiring for you, and you needed to prepare for the next day ahead of you, too. You’d begin training tomorrow, and soon enough you’d have your all-too-stressful skill evaluations. And there always was the impending doom shadowing over every thought in the form of the start of the games, just a week away. As you drifted off, you thought of relationships you’d form in these next days, vital to keep your ever-falling spirits from reaching rock bottom.

ooo they’re flirting with youuuu

I hope you guys liked this little part of the story, let me know if you want more or want to be added to the tag list for this series <33 I’m soso sorry this took me so long, too!! I already have some parts of another chapter started, so it should come sooner!! hopefully my writing had improved just a little, I promise I’m trying <33

INBOX IS OPEN FOR REQUESTS OR CHATS <33

tag list (love you cutie patooties so much 💋💋)

@randomgurl2326

@marvelescvpe

love ya!!

[mrsnancywheeler]

hiii omg so sorry i haven't been in your inbox! finals have been sweeping me away, but i've been lurking 👁️👁️ ok so i was listening to my playlists and had some #thoughts, so I shall share them to make up for the time i was gone 🤝😎 ----- I Want to Write You a Song - One Direction

I want to lend you my coat One that's as soft as your cheek So when the world is cold You'll have a hiding place you can go I want to lend you my coat Everything I need I get from you Givin' back is all I wanna do (…) I want to write you a song One to make your heart remember me So any time I'm gone You can listen to my voice and sing along I'm such 1D trash 😭😭 But this was on my yearning playlist (lmao) and I was thinking about how Finnick would 1000% write this song for his sweet girl. Like this is such a simp song (respectfully) and we all know Finnick is so in love with her its SICK ----- In Agreement - Lizzy McAlpine I talk to my friends about you Pretty sure they're tired of hearin' it I say "I met a guy, and he treats me real nice" Which is good for a change I talk to my friends about you And I think they agree my exes weren't always great And I don't really buy into fate But you tell me I'm pretty And you don't ask for too much 'Cause you know and I know That promises sometimes can hurt When it's barely begun And I don't want this to fall through Collapsing is what I'm used to But we're all in agreement This is something I should hold onto (another song on my yearning playlist LMAO) but this is very much sweet girl coded #idk bc this is definitely her inner monologue when she first meets Finnick and they start dating 😭😭😭 AND WITH THAT IN MIND, IT MAKES THE LYRIC "'Cause you know and I know that promises sometimes can hurt when it's barely begun, and I don't want this to fall through. Collapsing is what I'm used to" HURTTTT ----- girl i've always been - Olivia Rodrigo *just the entire song*

No like, walk with me here 🚶‍♀️ because this is definitey something that could've been written by Billy's muse HOWEVER, it can be either about Billy OR, OR!! Eddie. Do we see the vision👁️👁️. For Billy, it's written from the pov of a reader who has a lil kick to her, who's done being the doormat and rips into him after he disrespects her and he's all like "???" For Eddie, it's more from the perspective of a reader who is always gonna pick Billy over Eddie. And she told him this many times. Yet, he still pursues her. And yet, he still get's upset that she always picks Billy. His intentions aren't coming from a good place. Like that one blurb you did about Eddie not being a fully good guy, y'know? I'm not good at explaining things so I hope I'm making sense LMAO ----- BACK TO FINNICK AND HIS SWEET GIRL! Block Me Out - Gracie Abrams

Now I only let me down When there's no one else around I've been thinkin' way too loud I wish that I could block me out I wish that I could block me out, out I think I'm burnin' alive, but nobody sees the fire 'Cause when I open my mouth, I seem to be stuck in silence And I thought of leaving tonight, but I couldn't drive this tired Plus, after all of this time, I should be a pretty crier (😭!!) Wish I were heavier now, I'm floating outside my body It's not their fault, but I've found that none of my friends will call me Until I'm left to myself, it's honestly kind of funny How every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me This is another sweet girl coded song. This could deffo be applied to her after her games and after she's rescued from the Capitol :(((( ----- Finishing off with a bit of Miss Swift, this one part of Delicate reminds me of Finnick's sweet girl in the last couple of chapters: This ain't for the best My reputation's never been worse, so You must like me for me Where she's finally letting Finn back in and allowing herself to be comfortable with him :') Also, some its and bits of Marjorie also remind me of this fic when I think about it from two perspectives:

The autumn chill that wakes me up You loved the amber skies so much Long limbs and frozen swims You'd always go past where our feet could touch And I complained the whole way there The car ride back and up the stairs I should've asked you questions I should've asked you how to be Asked you to write it down for me Should've kept every grocery store receipt

If I didn't know better I'd think you were still around I know better But I still feel you all around I know better But you're still around

One being Finnick when he's missing the reader while he's in 13 and she's at the Capitol :( (Sometime I remember that part in Chapter 1 of The River where he smells peaches in his oatmeal and starts breaking breaking down, and I cry 🥲) But the other one being the reader thinking about Conway. Even though he tried to kill her, she still reminisces about the best parts of her friendship and can't help but feel the guilt and regret whenever she does. ------ OK HEHE THOSE ARE MY #THOUGHTS 💆‍♀️ I didn't realize how long it's been since i've been in your inbox and it's been WAY TOO LONG! never again 🫡 I love yapping about these things and I love hearing your thoughts about it!! Also, apologies in advance for when Tortured Poets Department comes out bc it'll be the biggest yap session ever once I make a connection between Finnick/Billy and any of the songs -🦅

AAAAAAA POOKIE I CALLED AND YOU CAME ILY 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺💋💋💋💋

(sorry this took so long to get to I get so easily distracted and there's an to get through)

you're all good pookie, I hope finals are going good and that you're taking care of yourself babes 💕

finnick odair the type of man to make you a mixtape that's kinda messy and done wrong but you don't care because he's so sweet and you can hear him talking and all the songs that make him think of you, he's such a simp, and so adorable

justice for finnick's sweet girl. she really had so much hope, felt so loved, so in love and had it all torn away from her. she's so giddy to be perceived by someone especially finnick odair and just addicted to him

billy's muse getting annoyed with eddie and giving daisy some lyrics about eddie instead this time bc she's so done with the way he's always being so sweet and comforting and lovey dovey and then trying to convince her to leave billy for him even though she's told him from the start she wouldn't, and he makes her feel so selfish, and cold for it. but "now you're on my case, how could I go? you never dreamed I'd be so cold and, then with venom on your tounge you ask me who I have become" honestly in this case I think billy would love the song because it validates that she'll always pick him, that eddie, although he's a nusciance, isn't a real threat and never had been.

and eddie gets annoyed for a good while and is pissy about it, which is painful for muse because she feels like she's got no one when her and billy argue. but eddie comes crawling back trying to win her over again regardless of how clear she's made it that he never stood a fighting chance.

SIDE NOTE: this song also makes me think of conway and sweet girl especially in that moment during their games when he's realizing everything and says she's changed which she denies. "so don't say that I've been acting different, I'm nothing if I'm not consistent" "I got wrapped up in the game again and you woke up in an empty bed, and I can't say I'm a perfect ten, but I am the girl I've always been"

aaaaa finnick's sweet girl, my poor tortured baby. the crying, the destructing when left with her thoughts, the death wishes, the silent cries for help that really aren't that silent, I want to hold her so bad

and for delicate, finnick's anxiety about not knowing what's not enough and too much for his sweet girl, where is the line? "is it cool that I said all that? is it chill that you're in my head? cause I know that it's delicate."

finnick thinking about how he should've done more, should have paid more attention even though he has her memorized, that somehow he should have savored every moment with her because he can't bear being without her. and the guilt because he wishes he'd supported her more, helped her heal more, he lies awake thinking about how he should've convinced her that life was worth living, that she was worth it because he has no idea what's happening to her now.

AND her thinking about conway, how she should've really paid attention to each tiny detail of their life before the games, each smile, joke, laugh, every damn moment before she destroyed it all. before snow destroyed it all. and she does see him everywhere and try not to break down, the beach they used to play on, the alleys they used to hide in to chat endlessly, their favorite field, favorite swimming hole, everything and it just makes her grieve.

I LOVE YOU POOKIE AND MISSED YOU 😭😭❤️❤️

SO REAL AND PLEASE SO I'M SO SO EXCITED FOR THE ALBUM AND I'M ALREADY SEARCHING FOR CONNECTIONS (billy and his muse as my boy only breaks his favorite toys, but daddy I love him, I can fix him (no really I can) I can do it with a broken heart)

[solar-halos]

POV – something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

no (writing) excuses askbox game

first of all, thank you for this ask! <3 it was so fun esp since ive been playing around with this scene for a whileee

second of all, i got carried away! in my odesta longfic annie isn’t very happy about finnick wanting to be on the star squad so i chose to write the scene where he breaks the news to her in his pov. fair warning though this is so majorly long and at first i was only gonna include the last section but then i remembered nothing is ever that serious so here's like 3k words of angst + slight sprinkling of fluff at the beginning

with that being said, i feel like this one warrants some warnings: there's referenced non-con (for annie's capitol imprisonment specifically), hurt NO comfort (yet! there’s comfort in the longfic), and annie just overall isn't very fucking nice to finnick. so without further ado here it is under the cut

🤍 DO NOT DISTURB, PLEASE! 🤍

Finnick helps her tack the handmade sign up on their door. Since their fingers are laced together (they never intend on letting go, either), it takes a bit longer than expected. 

Finnick glances down at Annie, who is practically squirming out of her skin in excitement. The strap of her wedding dress falls down one shoulder. Her frizzy curls fluff up around her head like a wreath. 

“You’re so pretty, Annie.” He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear because he knows that’ll make her lean against his palm. He takes a moment to admire her, so kind and genuine and wonderful. Love and being loved by her feels surreal. Like the odds really are in his favor. 

Her eyes light up. He smiles.

“You’re pretty,” she insists, her hand inching toward his shoulder. He slouches a bit so she has an easier time hooking her arm around him in a hug. 

He takes this opportunity to sweep her off her feet, carrying her back inside. He’s rewarded with a giggle and a kiss on the cheek. 

“I love you,” says, sighing against his chest. Warmth courses through his veins. “We are so forever.”

And they call Finnick a poet. He ducks down to press a kiss to her hair.

Annie is love. Annie is life. Annie is forever. Permanent. 

“You and me,” Finnick agrees. “Forever.”

They seal the promise with another kiss.

———————

Finnick’s concentration problems are catching up to him. Maybe they never left him alone in the first place.

He’d been training in 13 ever since he managed to shed off that hospital gown, but they weren’t teaching him anything groundbreaking. So, when President Coin tells him that she’ll send him straight to the Capitol if he manages to pass a series of tests, it’s an offer he can’t refuse. 

It’s not like he’s being cocky about it. He knows what he’s getting into. In the arena, there was always one guaranteed survivor. If he goes out on the battlefield—if he finally takes down President Snow—there’s a very real possibility that none of them will come out alive. 

That won’t be a problem for him. Again, he’s not being cocky. He just knows his strengths. He’s already familiar with hand-to-hand combat—real hand-to-hand combat, the stuff that people in District 13 can’t really train for—and that’ll make him a real big asset to the team.

Anyway. What was he saying?

Oh, right. Concentration problems. Training, too.

He remembers that he has to wake up early the next morning, and he remembers which room he has to report to. He even remembers to set his alarm clock for the right time. But then Annie comes back from her therapy session, and he’s enveloping her in a hug, and suddenly it’s like he’s only capable of conjuring up Annie-related thoughts.

She falls asleep in his arms. He wakes up to the sound of her cussing out his loud fucking alarm clock. He takes a moment to admire her fiery, effortless passion, ‘cause she’ll curse at just about anything if it’s early enough. 

“Sorry, my love.” He kisses her cheek to pacify her. She melts back into the bed. “I have to train today.”

“No, you don’t,” she says, which is mildly confusing, but then it hits him:

He forgot. He forgot to tell her. Something heavy settles over his stomach as he rushes through his explanation, but he already knows she’s not happy with him. It’s written all over the crinkle in her brow, the frown on her face, the small crinkles over her nose.

“Stay with me for a few minutes,” she says, so he does. Of course he does. He’d light himself on fire to keep Annie warm. (She does not ask him to set himself on fire.)

A few minutes turns into half an hour. Finnick is starting to get antsy, because if he misses this first training session, then they might just drop him from the program, and then he’ll never get to Snow, and—

“Finnick.” Annie’s voice is hard. Unhappy. His stomach twists. “Are you training today, or not?”

“I have to, my love.”

My love. My love. My love. She’s his love, so he doesn’t ever want to make her unhappy, but he’s not doing a very good job. She huffs at him.

“No, you don’t. The whole point of District 13 is that we don’t have to do anything. If you want to train, just tell me that.”

Yeah, Finnick couldn’t just tell her that. She’s already so upset with him, so he should just stay put and wrap her up in his arms, but he can’t. He doesn’t want to, either, but don’t you dare fucking tell her that, because the only reason he wants to go at all is so that he can take down President Snow. Then, they’d be free to do whatever they want whenever they want. A moment of torture away from her is worth a lifetime of happiness in her presence.

Annie understands that. She understands that they need to take down Snow, and she wants to take down Snow, but she also hates the military industrial complex. And Finnick would hate it, too, under normal circumstances, but how else was he gonna fight for his freedom? The Capitol took a lot from him, but he couldn’t wait to show them just how proficient he was at turning the odds in his favor. In the country’s favor.

Annie is glaring at him. He decides to stand his ground.

“I want to train.”

She blinks at him. Wrong answer. He tries to backtrack, but the damage has already been done. 

“I’m going to visit Johanna today.” Then, before he can ask, she adds, “Alone. You can do whatever you want.”

The pit in his stomach is overwhelming. He never planned on attending every single session—just the ones he needed to. Like the ones about assembling a gun (the arena never had anything like that). He also shows up to schedule a time for his exam.

“I’m a bit nervous,” he tells Annie. She glances over at him before promptly returning to whatever she was drawing, almost like she’s making a point to ignore him.

Almost. He and Annie don’t ice each other out. It’s not their thing.

“Annie?” he repeats. He knows that she was upset with him for leaving, but they already talked it out, and she already said she forgave him. If they're not okay, then he understands, but he just wants to be on the same page. It'll make trying to fix things much easier. “Are we good?”

Sometimes, Annie ignores him when she’s working on a drawing, but it’s nothing personal. She ignores everything—even her own appetite—but she usually multitasks whenever she doodles. 

She looks at him. Finnick lets out a breath. “Do you want to play a card game?”

He thinks about repeating himself—he’s nervous, and he wants to know if they’re good—but he doesn’t want to risk upsetting her again. It’s not her fault that he’s putting his life at risk.

“Okay,” he says. She grins at him. He forces himself to grin back.

——————

“We need to talk about it,” he says, because they do.

She knows exactly what he’s referring to. It’s why she doesn’t answer him.

“Annie.” He sits right beside her. “I meant what I said. I’m not leaving you. The mission is still in the planning stages. We don’t even know which route we’re gonna take.”

She’s locked in on another drawing. He sighs. He can feel himself getting frustrated—he’s not leaving her, because he’s incapable of living without her—but getting snappish isn’t going to fix anything. Especially not with Annie. Her parents fought a lot, so he doesn’t want to risk setting her off. She’d never treat him that way—would never scream or throw anything at him—but she’s naturally very expressive, and that doesn’t bode very well for any of them when she gets angry.

She stares at him. He knows what she’s gonna say before she even opens her mouth. 

“Wanna play a card game?”

“Annie.”

“What?” she’s not yelling, exactly, but she’s being firm. Too firm, considering that all he wants to do is talk to her about something important. “Dr. Aurelius taught me how to play. It’s fun.”

“Can we talk about the mission?”

She makes a move to get up. He relents, even though he really, really shouldn’t, but he can’t stand the possibility of sleeping in separate beds tonight. 

“Never mind,” he says, placing a slow, gentle hand at her hip. He’s testing the waters. She dives straight into his arms. Thank goodness. “What’s the card game?”

“It’s a bit tricky at first,” she replies, reaching over to shuffle the deck. "But you're good at stuff like this. I think you’ll really like it, ‘cause there’s so much strategy in it.” 

Conversations about the mission were easy to avoid when they were still in the early stages of planning. The last time Finnick brought it up, Plutarch and Coin were still negotiating if they needed to add another member, but it’s an inescapable part of his life now. He gets the stamp, attends all the meetings, and introduces himself to everyone else on the team. They’re even calling themselves the Star Squad. 

They examine the holo splayed over the table, where everyone squints at a battlefield riddled with mutts and traps. It hits a little too close to home.

His gut twists. What’s he gonna tell Annie?

“Nothing,” Katniss answers, because apparently Finnick said that out loud. “That’s what my mother and sister will be hearing from me.”

Fair, but Annie isn’t his mom. Or his sister. She already forgave him for not telling her anything about the rebels, and he promised to tell her everything that he knows from now on, so he had to tell her about this. He had to, or else he’d make everything worse.

His mind is in overdrive throughout the entire meeting. Words usually came to him so easily, but things are different with Annie. He doesn’t love anyone or anything nearly as much as he loves her.

He decides to just play it by ear. The meeting already ran long, so he doesn’t want to keep her waiting. 

He steps inside their compartment. She was pacing around the room, but she stops dead in her tracks the moment he closes the door. She wrinkles her nose at him.

“I’m sorry.” He is. He’s sorry about a lot of things, actually, but maybe if they talk about it for a bit, everything will be okay. Annie loves him, so that’s already a huge source of comfort. “I’m sorry, Annie. The meeting ran long.”

He can’t tell if she’s giving him the silent treatment again—because that’s apparently something they do now—or if she’s just thinking of a response.

She frowns at him, obviously very unhappy, but they don’t have another choice. They don’t have time. If it took them this long to breach the subject, then that already means they’re in trouble.

“I don’t even care,” she lies, but Annie’s emotions have always been stamped so clearly across her face. And, right now, her face tells him that she cares a lot. “Let’s just go to bed.”

They can’t. They can’t. They can’t. He stands his ground, and she relents. He takes that as a good sign.

“District 13 is organizing a mission where we finally infiltrate the Capitol. And they’ve invited me to go.”

“Well, you’re not.”

It sounds final, they way she’s saying it. Finnick forces himself not to give in. He had to do this. He had to get to Snow. 

He stands his ground until she snaps at him. His heartbeat spikes.

“You goddamn fucking liar! You said you wouldn’t leave me again!”

He’s not. He never could, and he tries to explain that to her, but his mind goes absolutely blank. She’s never called him a liar before, but he supposes that’s the truth, isn’t it? He didn’t tell her about 13, but the Capitol captured her anyway, so she’s well within her rights to get upset with him. He just wishes she wouldn’t yell.

“You promised me you’d stay, but now you’re suddenly infiltrating the fucking Capitol?” she demands, which doesn’t sound right. “Did you make that decision before or after they locked me up?”

No. No, that doesn’t sound right at all, because that’s not what happened. He made that decision a long time ago, but whenever he’d try to tell her, she’d pretend that he wasn’t even talking to her. That hurt, but he didn’t address that concern with her—he’s not even addressing it with her now—because he knows that this must be hurting her harder.

Finnick can be cocky—even now, especially now—but he’s well aware of the risks. Nothing is ever guaranteed, and 13 is no exception. But if they both agree that they need to take Snow down, and if they both agree that Finnick dealt with the brunt of all his cruelty, then why aren’t they reaching the same conclusion? 

“So sorry, then, Finnick, that I’m not as important as your stupid fucking trident.” She’s angry with him. Finnick wracks his brain, trying to think of ways to coax her into liking him again, but nothing makes sense to him right now. Annie’s never yelled at him like that before, ever. “I bet the Capitol is gonna love seeing you with one again.”

“Don’t say that to me.” The implications of that don’t hurt. Finnick had thought a lot about that, too. The last time he had been so eager to prove himself to anyone was when he was enrolled at the Academy, desperate to show off his expertise at all the different stations. 

But this is different, both literally and fundamentally. And he knows that Annie knows that, so he doesn’t really appreciate being branded as a Capitol puppet.

“But it’s true,” she says, even though they both know it’s not, and Finnick doesn’t understand why she’s doing this to him.

He’s not an idiot. He knows that she’s worried about him leaving, just like how Mags left them, but he doesn’t like how she’s framing this like it’s a choice he’s making. Like he’s walking away from her. Like he’s engaging in something inconsequential for the sole purpose of hurting her. Like he doesn’t love her, when that’s the only thing in his life that he’s ever been sure of. 

Finnick doesn’t want to hurt her, but he understands that his intentions don’t match up with reality. He understands that she has the right to be angry with him. He understands that she’s upset about how secretive he was about the rebel plan, because their relationship was supposed to be built on a foundation of trust, so—

“Is that why I got captured, then?” she asks him, and she’s right, but she’s also not. The Capitol would have captured her no matter what, but he could have done more. He could have pushed Plutarch harder about rescuing her from Four. He could have encouraged 13 to execute their rescue plan a lot sooner. He could have neglected the rebellion entirely, because at least he’d know that Annie would be safe.

Finnick should have just done that. He got all in his head about how he wanted to be safe, too, but it’s not worth it to have Annie yelling at him right now. 

Moldy food. Capitol cells. Rape.

If it was hard to articulate his thoughts before, there’s no hope for him right now. He always knew what they were doing to Annie, even before she told him herself, but now that she’s not holding back—rape rape rape rape rape, just like how they raped you—he’s trying his best to just remain coherent. His memories in the Capitol were always so hard to suppress, but the thought of the same thing happening to her makes his body revolt against his mind.

Annie is always so sweet to him. Always used to remind him that nothing that happened in the arena or in the Capitol was ever his fault. But if she’s saying all this now—rape and pills and you let Mags die I stayed with you throughout everything never even thought about leaving you most miserable bitch I’ve ever met just fuck off and die already—

Fuck off and die? Isn’t that why they’re having an argument in the first place?

Finnick doesn’t know. There’s not enough oxygen circulating to his brain, and his heart is beating too hard to overcompensate for that, but it’s not like he can feel sorry for himself when Annie was in Capitol cells and Peacekeeper clutches and beatings and rape and all you did was sit here and wait for it all to be over, you fucking asshole.

“Stop pretending like you’ve ever cared about me!”

It’s the last thing he can remember her saying before they’re interrupted by a knock at the door. Maybe it’s someone complaining about the noise. It wouldn’t be the first time he and Annie received that sort of complaint, even though the circumstances back then were kinda different.

The thought of being separated from Annie still makes his stomach plunge to his toes. She’s saying a lot cruel things to him, yes, but it’s not like she actually means them, and it’s not like she doesn’t have a reason to be upset, and—

She grabs a marker. They both ignore the banging on the door, staring at each other instead, because what she does with that marker is going to predict the trajectory of their relationship. Her parents threw things at each other, yes, but they’re not her parents. He can overlook the yelling, but there are some things that he won’t even forgive Annie for, and this will be one of them.

She sets the marker down. The District 13 guards let themselves in. They start walking toward Finnick at first, but maybe they can sense that reality is very blurry for him right now, because they promptly ask Annie to remove herself from the room. She goes without a fight, but if there’s one thing about Annie Cresta, it’s that she has to have the last word. 

“I don’t know why I love you,” she says. “I don’t know why anyone would love you.”

The door closes. Finnick finally gives himself permission to melt onto the floor, curling his knees into his chest. 

I don’t know why anyone would love you. That makes two of them.

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 14

Part 2: The Quell

Chapter 14: Katniss knows she won't write goodbye letters to her family. Effie has an idea. They watch the recap. Katniss has nighmares so Peeta and she watch the tape of Haymitch's games. Haymitch says his trick with the force field was almost as bad as Katniss with the berries.

Thoughts:

-- A lot of faves first appear in this chapter. I am excite.

-- The Victor of the 25th Hunger Games is not in the lot Effie sent. Peeta thinks "they must be dead." I suppose the Victor could've just had cancer or drinked themselves to death. I immediately suspected foul play though. I always assume the Capitol is up to something.

-- I might have to put my thoughts on Haymitch's games in a separate post. SO MUCH HAPPENING.

Quotes:

"I had it especially done to match Katniss' pin. I was thinking we might get you a golden ankle band and maybe find Haymitch a gold bracelet or something so we could all look like a team."

Effie expresses herself with fashion, guys. She had her hair done to match Katniss' pin before the Reaping to show her solidarity. IDK why this makes me want to cry. It's not rebellion really. It's more like Effie is like one of those sportsball fans who paints themself in their team's colors. Except she's not just rooting for 12 to win some trophy, but to live.

If he were the tribute, he would have owed Peeta nothing and could be as drunk as he liked. Now it's going to take all he's got to keep Peeta alive in an arena full of his old friends, and he'll probably fail.

I think we're all lucky Haymitch wasn't the tribute in that case. Being hungover in the clock arena sounds miserable (so much lightning and noise!) Although maybe if Haymitch and Katniss had been the tributes they would've just jumped off their podiums and high-fived each other before drowning themselves in the sea?

In the history of the Games, there have been seventy-five victors. Fifty-nine are still alive.

33 victors are NOT reaped but killed between now and the end of Mockingjay. More than die in the Arena. You actually had a better shot if you volunteered. (Congrats, Enobaria.)

Effie makes hushed, distressed comments like "Oh, not Cecilia" and "Well, Chaff never could stay out of a fight.""

I understand the "not Cecilia comment" since we are later told that she has three small children. Did Chaff volunteer? Or is it just he got reaped so "oh well he could never stay out of a fight"?

I try to make some mental record of the other tributes, but like last year, only a few really stick in my head. There's the classically beautiful brother and sister from District 1 who were victors in consecutive years when I was little. Brutus, a volunteer from District 2, who must be at least forty and apparently can't wait to get back in the arena. Finnick, the handsome bronze-haired guy from District 4 who was crowned ten years ago at the age of fourteen. A hysterical young woman with flowing brown hair is also called from 4, but she's quickly replaced by a volunteer, an eighty-year-old woman who needs a cane to walk to the stage. Then there's Johanna Mason, the only living female victor from 7, who won a few years back by pretending she was a weakling. The woman from 8 who Effie calls Cecelia, who looks about thirty, has to detach herself from the three kids who run up to cling to her. Chaff, a man from 11 who I know to be one of Haymitch's particular friends, is also in.

First appearance of my beloved Mags! Also I'd like to see the footage of Johanna rolling her eyes as they brought out the reaping bowl with just her name in it. It also means Johanna has known for months that she is going back to the Arena. I wonder how she handled it compared to Katniss?

After the anthem, they show President Snow drawing the envelope for the second Quarter Quell. He looks younger but just as repellent.

So Snow definitely moved up from Gamemaker to President by 50. But Finnick says he was a "young man" when he rose to power so I am thinking he became President around 25. Anyone else have thoughts on this?

[velidewrites]

Ok babes I finally caught up on the last chapter of RWMIL and so it’s time I send all my thoughts, feelings, and theories!

So glad that we got a Rhys POV! I’m very curious who he was talking to, I’m sure everyone has said this but I’m thinking eris based on vibes… but also the talk of shadows obviously seems like Azriel so idk!!

Also wondering who he is trying to protect back home. Are his mother and sister going to be alive in this au?? Or is it the bay boys and mor? Along with that I’m excited to find out if they’re gonna end up being victors/tributes from another district during the quarter quell, or if they are people from back home, or something else entirely.

The similarities between Rhys and Finnick are so heartbreaking. For that whole conversation I felt like I was waiting for a punch to the gut and thinking he would mention needing to get back to Amarantha or something 😥

My heart broke for Feyre in this. When she was crying and saying they could make a wish to the stars 💔 Uhg and I’m so glad you included the painting/putting flowers around her part, that was always so beautiful to me.

Despite how sad this was I’m excited to see badass angry Feyre with a bow take out the careers and then the capitol! Go off bestie!

Thank you for writing this, I have been enjoying it so much and I hope it has been fun for you as well 💕

I’m so sorry it took me this long to respond but I wanted to keep your ask in my askbox and just stare at it for as long as I can 😩

I’m so happy you liked Daddy’s POV. I had so much fun writing it that I edited chapter 8 to add it in again. It’s also fun to see everyone guessing the man he was talking to was either Eris or Azriel. I can only say one of them is the correct answer 😌

I LOVE hearing your theories (as always) and I’m very excited for you to learn more about Rhys and his story as we move on from the first Games. Also, I love that people are picking up on the parallels between him and Finnick!

Anyway, Feyre has a bow now and shit is about to get real. I’m so excited for you to see it and as always, thank you so much for popping into my askbox to share your thoughts 🥹💕

[therealvinelle]

Hey, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin sent me to you for some spicy opinions. Have you read the hunger games? Do you have any headcanons? Any thoughts on main characters that is different from the way the author meant to portray? I really enjoyed your thoughts on Twilight and I’ll admit I disliked Twilight but not because of the characters being too flat and boring (I don’t agree with that) but just because of the writing style and the framing of the relationships. It really annoyed me. But your headcanons made me realize that there were some hidden gems in there. So thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I like that my life has gotten to a point where I’m the Muffin’s referral point for spicy opinions. And I’m very glad you enjoy my Twilight metas!

When it comes to my spicy hunger games opinions, I don’t actually know how spicy they are. They’re definitely very spicy considering what Hollywood tried to do, but I think I’m actually pretty much in tune with Susanne Collins. Tumblr certainly agrees with me, which is very rare but quite nice. The Muffin and I don’t actually want to have spicy opinions, it’s just that we’ll say shit like “Luke’s not a real jedi” and expect it to be obvious but nope, turns out the entire Star Wars fandom begs to differ. So, I think I agree with Collins on what she wrote, which is great, but I honestly can’t tell anymore what the authors want me to think so who knows.

So, first of, there is no love triangle in those books. And I’m not simply saying that the love triangle wasn’t the focus of the books, I’m saying that the love triangle did not exist.

Katniss and Gale were close friends and if it hadn’t been for the hunger games then yeah, they would probably have ended up together. However, the hunger games happened, and Katniss was a very changed person after that. Gale was still the same, and more, he did not get it, at all. He didn’t understand the person Katniss had become and wanted the old one back. They continued to hang out because they’d grown up together, but at this point it was only the memory of their old friendship holding them together and not the real thing.

Then we get into the third book, in which Gale grows enamored with weaponry and the quest for revenge against the Capitol, proudly displaying to Katniss his sadistic device that’ll later kill Prim. Katniss is horrified, and as usual Gale doesn’t get it. Their relationship with violence are polar opposites: Katniss has been forced to kill to protect herself, Gale takes pride in designing devices that’ll kill as many civilians as possible.

On to Katniss. The first big mistake Hollywood made with her was casting Jennifer Lawrence. Katniss of the books is an impoverished and starving child. Lawrence has the wrong body type for that, and more, she has the completely wrong presence. It’s like casting Timothee Chalamet for Thor. 

Then we have Katniss herself.

Katniss, as I see her, is not a hero at all, and she’s not supposed to be. A hero is too positive a word, as heroes get to choose their own destiny. St. George chooses to go slay the dragon. Katniss is thrown into an arena and told to kill children. She has nobility, grace, and kindness, she is indubitably brave and selfless. It’s not her character I’m questioning. But to call her a hero is to play into the narrative that there’s anything glorious or inspiring about her story, and there isn’t. She’s a traumatized child who’s propped up by powerful people to be a symbol. At first it’s the Capitol making her and Peeta star-crossed lovers, and then we have the resistance making her their rallying point. Katniss has no control over any of this. The hunger games is not the inspiring story of a girl who rallies the forces of good against the evil empire, but rather the story of a child who is grossly taken advantage of by both sides.

Then there’s the fact that even before the Capitol happened, Katniss had been forced to grow up too early. Her mother failed to be a mother, and so Katniss became the family caretaker, raising Prim like a daughter rather than a sister and keeping the family alive. Her childhood died with her father, and it is an unusually jaded and sad child who enters that arena. This doesn’t make her better suited for what she endures over the course of the trilogy, but less. Katniss has had no one to rely on, comes to rely too much on Peeta, which in turn makes her crumble like a house of cards when she loses him.

Going slightly back to the love triangle debacle, Katniss ends up with Peeta not so much because they’re the star-crossed lovers the Capitol wanted, but because after the arena Katniss is really only able to connect with people who know exactly what it’s like. Peeta, Finnick, Haymitch - these three all become deeply precious to her, there is a bond forged between victors because no one else can ever truly understand. Peeta/Katniss wouldn’t have happened in a timeline where they weren’t reaped, but they were, and now they’re each other’s only real option.

Not to mention that as victors they’ll live lives the rest of their district can’t really relate to. They have nice houses and a pension, which is alienating enough, but they’ll also be forever entangled with the Capitol, either as prostitutes, mentors, or both. Gale likes Katniss, but he could never have a wife like that.

By the end of the trilogy, Katniss is a traumatized mess of a girl, and so is Peeta. They choose to have kids anyway, something I have mixed feelings about. I see what Collins wanted with that. Katniss makes it clear early on in the series that she never wanted children, because those kids might get reaped. And, to my recollection, it was also that she just thought the world was a too cruel place. The fact that she still chooses to have kids can only be seen as a sign of healing, that Katniss now feels safe enough in this world to bring others into it.  Which is nice. Except I think that losing Prim is what made the real difference to Katniss. Prim was her daughter, and having children is the closest she’ll get to getting Prim back. I’m also slightly worried Peeta will one day snap and strangle them. There’s also the fact that I really don’t think Katniss and Peeta are parent material by the time those books are through. It’s bad enough that Katniss had to be her mother’s therapy animal, she shouldn’t repeat the cycle. But maybe I should have more faith in Katniss. And damnit, I want to be happy for her. In other words, I have mixed feelings on those kids. This all being said, I’ve heard people think it’s out of character for Katniss to have kids, and I disagree with that. I think it’s a very Katniss thing to do. The question is whether becoming a mother was a good decision.

(Since your ask pretty much put a coin in the ramble box, I’ll ramble some more: the whole “children are healing” thing in the epilogue happens through Annie Cresta as well. The girl is more traumatized than anybody after her hunger games, and codependent with her lover, Finnick Odair. Finnick dies tragically, luckily it turns out Annie was pregnant so now she gets a baby too. I question her ability to raise a child on her own, but the fact that both Katniss and Annie get to have kids points to those children symbolizing healing and happiness.)

[justauthoring]

stranded.

Request(s): Hello, darling! Could I please request a Finnick Odair imagine where they get separated in the Quarter Quell and the reader ends up with Johana where her and the others get caught in the blood raining from the sky? Maybe reader isn’t too fond of blood and passes out before she reaches the beach so Finnick goes in to get her? She wakes up and literally tackles him because she missed him. Thank you, love, if you write this! I love your writing a lot! It always makes my day and makes me smile.

hi! i love the hunger games so i’m so excited that you’re getting into it! can i request something for finnick where the reader is also reaped for the quarter quell and they’re trying to protect each other throughout the games and are figuring out how they’re gonna make it through together?

hiii, could get a finnick imagine where they’re victors from different districts and go to the quarter quell together and they confess their love for each other or something. thanksss

Could you do a hurt/comfort fic with Finnick please??????? By the way I love you work 🥺

Just... anything Finnick... please ❤️❤️

Requested by: @arcadianmoonlight & @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Reader Word Count: 1,622 Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Finnick was reaped first.

They went in order of the districts. And being from district six, you had to watch Finnick, a dear friend you’d made during your horrifying time in the Capitol, be reaped for those terrible, terrible games once again. When you heard his name be called, the worry of being reaped yourself seemed to no long matter.

You wanted to be reaped. If only to be with Finnick, even if they were your final days.

And when the sweet, old lady who had never been anything but kind to you was called, it wasn’t a matter of thought or hesitation before you volunteered for her. You did it for selfless reasons, even if as you stepped forward and called out the words that by right meant your death you were shaking from fear beyond relief, you knew you were at least saving one woman’s life who’d gone through enough turmoil for a life time.

And... that meant you could be with Finnick. That in itself was enough.

Joining the rebellion was one of the easiest decisions you’d ever made. Half because of what it stood for, and half because Finnick had been there, and being with him always made you feel ten times braver then you actually ever felt. 

The night before the games, you thought you were prepared. It was a numb feeling more than anything. You weren’t scared, weren’t even really angry honestly. You never wanted to go through the games ever again in your life, but you felt as if a change was coming, and even if you never got to see the end of it, you knew your sacrifice was not pointless.

If you were to die in the games, you’d be dying protecting the chance of a new world.

And that’s something you’d always dreamed of.

But nothing could’ve prepared you for the feeling of standing on those pedestals, staring around at the arena like the first time. It was so alike and yet, so different then you remembered. You remember trying to look for Finnick, desperately so, but unable to see him. Your heart was pounding madly against your chest, racing, and it felt as if you might throw up. Your nails were digging into the palms of your hands and you were trying to keep a level head, but ultimately failing.

Then the games started.

You ran fast to the cornucopia, somehow managing to make it there without running into anyone. You made a beeline for the weapons, all while trying to keep out a careful eye for familiar faces, namely Finnick. When your eyes land on a katana, a small bout of hope manages to flood through you, knowing that if you could get your hands on that, you were ten times saver.

Just as you move to reach it, someone jumps in front of you. It’s one of the careers.

In his hand is a staff.

You barely manage to dodge a hit, ducking with stride, nearly tipping into the water beside you. You strike your leg out, managing a hit, but it ultimately not really doing anything. You try to slip past him, get behind him so you can grab your katana, but the second you try, you’re nearly knocked in the shoulder.

Just as the career is about to send a deadly hit to your head, an axe stabs him square in the middle of his back. Your lips part as you watch his eyes widen, then dull, and he tips, falling into the water with a loud splash.

Behind him stands Johanna.

You meet her eyes, and with a nod, you rush forward, grabbing your katana before turning to you. “Have you seen Finnick?”

She shakes her head; “but I found Wiress and Beetee, like I was told. Come on!”

You want to argue. Want to look for Finnick. But you don’t. Instead, you follow her, rushing off with her and her district partner in tow, bringing Wiress and Beetee along, into a section of the jungle. You don’t really stop running until you’re in the depths of the trees, surrounded and hidden from view.

When you slow to a stop, everyone’s exhausted but alert. You grip your katana tightly in your hand, shaking.

“We should be good here.”

“For now.”

You drown out the chatter, glancing around.

“Did...” And you start off slow, breathless, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Did anyone... Did anyone see Finnick? Or-Or Mags? Did anyone--”

You meet their eyes, seeing the pity on their gazes, even Johanna looks at you with sympathy, and you know right then and there, your question is useless. Everything had happened so quickly and suddenly... Finnick could be anywhere.

He could be... he could be dead.

You shake your head free of the thought, knowing nothing good will come from thinking like that.

You keep your mind busy with helping the rest of the group. You all continue to walk, going further and further into the depths of the jungle, keeping your ears on alert for any noise of someone approaching. You help set up camp and volunteer to keep first watch when night falls, knowing that you won’t be able to sleep anyway.

Hours, you’re sure, pass. And it’s reaching sunrise when you’re woken up by a raindrop falling on your forehead. You blink yourself awake as more raindrops fall on your head, groaning lightly in response as you push yourself up, meeting Johanna’s gaze, who’d taken last watch, sharing a similar expression.

Holding your hand out before you, you expect a simply drop of water to fall on your hand.

It’s not water. It’s akin to your worst nightmare.

“I-It’s blood...”

-

“You just left her there!”

“I had to get them out! That’s what you told me!”

Scoffing, Finnick brushes past Johanna without another word, ignoring the calls of his group as he rushes back the way Johanna, Wiress and Beetee had just run from. His lips snarl in disgust and discomfort at the traces of blood left from the blood rain, it coating his shoes, creating a thick and tense turmoil for him to rush through.

He has no sense of which direction to go. You could... You could be anywhere.

But he couldn’t just leave you in here. Not if there was a chance you were still alive. He... He had to find you.

He couldn’t lose you.

He wanders for a while, your name leaving his lips in a desperate shriek, hoping that just once he’ll hear you call back. He never does. Finnick doesn’t hear you respond not once, and his hope starts to dwindle while his desperation becomes tenfold, eyes frantically searching for your figure.

And then... then Finnick sees you.

He’d notice you anywhere. The sight of you brings such a deep, immediate relief to him as he instantly picks up the pace in his step, rushing towards you, and falling to his knees next to your limp body. Pressing his ear against your chest assures him you’re still alive because of your faint breathing. He brushes back the strands of blood-soaked hair that sticks to your face, looking for signs of any life-threatening injuries.

There’s scratches along your cheeks, probably from branches, and you’re covered in blood, but other then that, you look fine.

Slipping his arm under your knees and the other behind your back, Finnick gently pulls you up in his arms bridal style, while making sure to grab your weapon too. You stir gently in response, a moan of discomfort leaving your lips, but you don’t wake up. The trek back to the rest is with a lighter heart, though Finnick doesn’t once slow his step, desperate to get you cleaned up.

The others watch him carefully as he submerges from the jungle, but he doesn’t say anything, bringing you into the water carefully but quickly. You jump in response to the cold water, but Finnick keeps you safely tucked in his arm, using his free hand to wipe away the dried blood off of your skin, suit and hair.

A soft, relieved smile curls onto his lips as your eyes flutter open.

You choke at first, coughing the blood that you’d swallowed involuntarily, and Finnick helps ease you best he can. And at first you jump, confused, the last memory you have being in the depths of the jungle, choking on blood, but then your eyes find Finnick’s and you ease almost immediately.

“You found me...”

“Of course I found you,” Finnick whispers, pulling you up against his chest as you breathe heavily, trying to calm your racing heart. 

“Did the others--Did--”

“They’re safe! They’re safe!” Pulling back, Finnick points behind himself, to the rest of the group that scatters around in the water and on the beach itself. You ease in his grip as you let your eyes flicker across them all, meeting Johanna’s eyes briefly and nodding when you she sends you a look.

Turning to Finnick, you smile gently, bringing your hand up to cup his cheeks. “You went to look for me?”

Finnick shakes his head; “I couldn’t just leave you there.’

Letting your thumb stroke his cheek gently, you nod, voice a light whisper; “thank you...”

“I...” And he hesitates, face twisting for a moment as you watch with a blink, confused. “I have to say this. In case... In case...” You soothe his hesitation, stuttering with a gentle smile, cupping his cheek. “I love you...”

And your heart flutters in response, leaning up in his grasp to press your lips against his own in a quick, but meaningful and heartfelt kiss.

“I love you too, Finnick Odair,” you laugh lightly. “I have for a long time now.”

-

Let me know what you thought?

[dingdongitsbees]

since u like getting asks abt ur works im gonna keep it coming when i can HAJSHAJAJAJAJ I JUS LOVE IT SO MUCH LIKE-

the first time i came across this work was at 12 midnight then i binged read it til like 3 am HSBQHQHABAHAH i was screaming, crying, laughing, jumping, and throwing up at each scene THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I HAVE A QUIZ THAT DAY so like a took a nap, went to online school then got 18/20 on the quiz i didn't study so much for bcos i was busy thinkinv about black eyed susan HABAHAHABAHAHA and i rmbr thinking like, "maybe this work is good luck, this is why i got a high score HAHAHAHAHAH" then from there on i was super looking forward to ur updates (THIS IS NOT TO PRESSURE U OR ANYTHING BUT YOU JUS REALLY MAKE MY DAY AHDHQHDHAK)

THEN MY FIRST THOUGHTS AS I READ IT WAS LIKE "damn one of them gonna die am not ready for that." THEN WAS LIKE "HOLY SHIT THEY DIDN'T DIE BUT MANY DIED" HAHAHSHQHAHAHA idk how to explain but HABAHAHAHAHA i remember thinking i hope sasha and connie doesn't die then i remembered that hunger games doesn't work that way so like tears. but like now, since this arc follows catching fire (i think???) my tots are mostly praying for the characters to be alive HAHSBQHAHAHAHA ion think its possible tho

i also read abt what the other anon said before (IM SORRY I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO) about how yn is peeta and levi is katniss but not really cos their characteristics are different as well. i also thought of jean as finnick and was like " :DDDDD FUCK" but knowing you, you might do something that'll make me scream since i cannot stress how much you're good at writing your stories to the point i lay at night thinking abt it like "damn they kinda hot, i hope when porco dies, he gonna die a handsome death as well" HABAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IDK lowkey scared you might actually make levi or yn go through the peeta mode where zeke brainwashes them or smth IDHSKSUSJQJQ

SORRY FOR MESSAGING LIKE THIS NOW, i followed you for a long time now and just thought of how dry my messages were and was like "yo give more hype, bestie deserves it"

HEHEHEHE that's all (probably not since i haven't done my second reading of the latest chapter HAHSHAHAHAHA) sorry again if i spam u love you mwamwamwa

bestie i literally i love you

but oh my god 😭 i would lecture you on having a better sleep schedule and preparing for school but i literally could not be more hypocritical if i tried, i stayed up till 6 am to finish one the chapters one time im a full ass idiot 😭 but my work obviously paid off cause clearly i 100% got you that score BES is a good luck charm for SURE (except for everyone in said fic)

oh my god there were actually quite a few people who were so sure more than levi and reader were going to survive in the first game and i felt so bad but also not at all gdhuiwnd i remember i got a comment going like "falco and gabi are going to survive right? RIGHT?" and there were a few people who hadn't seen or read hunger games so they weren't prepared so you were very much not alone lmao 😭

also literally why did they make PORCO that HOT i swear to god i literally wasn't prepared, i didn't have time to mourn i was SIMPING he did not look that good in the manga 😭 but mappa i thank you dearly 😏 and actually this is only a slight spoiler but hardly at all, he will be a bit more relevant as a character as time goes on! especially since reader killed marcel and all...

and haha peeta mode 😀 anyway-

also dont worry omg im just happy youre sending these asks they make me so happy pls and sorry it took so long to reply to this one ✋

but thank you so much hope you have a BANGIN day bestie

[bywhatilove]

Mockingjay Reread (the 2nd half)/ rewatch of Mockingjay Part two Thoughts

Warning: I have ALOT of thoughts concerning Mockingjay part two

Josh Hutcherson doesn’t get NEARLY enough credit for playing hijacked Peeta. No one could have done it like he did. Same goes with Jen in how she brought the many, many character layers of Katniss alive.

and while we are on the topic of acting- I know Jen and Josh don’t really match their character’s book descriptions but, they both did SUCH a good job at bringing Katniss and Peeta alive. I truly can’t imagine anyone else playing Katniss and Peeta as far as acting goes.

UGH I could really write a whole thesis paper on the character’s differing perspectives about how far is too far when it comes to your actions in war time. That is a component of Mockingjay that is so fascinating to me.

There are so many instances in Mockingjay when you can see that Katniss really is just a seventeen year old girl who should not have been placed in this position. And, when I remember that I’m the same age that Katniss and Peeta are in Mockingjay? It makes me realize just how powerful this story really is.

Definition of heartbreak: “All I know is I would have saved myself a lot of suffering if I had just given that bread to pig” no, seriously, look heartbreak up in the dictionary, that’s the actual definition

Finnick, Johanna, Katniss and Peeta is the ot4 I deserved and I will NEVER not be bitter I didn’t get it

The shot of Katniss and Prim dancing at the wedding is so heart wrenching because you know it’s one of the last moments they ever have together.

Katniss showing her little self up after hiding on the hovercraft and trying to stay unseen while everyone stops and stares will never not be funny to me

Finnick being kind to Peeta and looking out for him while everyone else tries and avoids him will always warm my heart. They are the Brotp I deserved.

“You’re a painter. You’re a baker. You always sleep with the windows open...” excuse me while I go cry in a corner

“Clearly some alliances don’t last forever.” CEASER FLICKERMAN HOW DARE YOU. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you.

“That’s what you and I do. We keep each other alive” That line hits differently because they’ve been doing that since they were 11.

Finncik? Odair? Died? No. He’s alive and well and living with Annie and their son in four. I don’t know who just died but it definitely wasn’t my man finnick.

“Stay with me. Always.” Do I need to say anything else?

“If you end this, all those deaths, they mean something.” Peeta’s speech in Tigresses basement is the first sign that the real Peeta is back. It’s one of my favorite parts in the movie.

“If I see you again, it’s going to be a different world.” Arguably my favorite everlark moment of the entire series- either book or movie. At this point, they know it’s the end of something, rather that be the end of the capital’s regime or the end of the districts rebellion. They both know that what happens within the next couple of hours, ultimately decides their fate. And after everything they’ve been through together, this could really be the last time they see each other and they know that.

The image of the capitol children being forcibly removed from their parents, and then the parachutes drop and everyone just assumes they are gifts...it hurts.

Prim dying is something that I really don’t have any words for. This whole story started with Katniss protecting her sister from probable death. And for prim to die in the very last moments of the revolution? It’s terrible.

The fact that there were 75 victors , and only seven were still alive in the end blows my mind.

Snow’s talk with Katniss in the rose garden always gives me goosebumps.

I’ll admit it- I’m not Gale’s biggest fan. But he deserved a better ending. His and Katniss’ friendship deserved a better ending.

Headcanon- Peeta and Annie routinely check up on each other via letters and phone calls post war and Annie eventually visits district 12 with her kid and Johanna

Was it too hard to include the “let me go. I can’t” dialogue? Seriously, it would have took like three seconds

Katniss’ depression when she is locked up in the training center after killing Coin and when she returns to 12 absolutely breaks my heart. She’s only 17 and she went through so much. Katniss deserved only the best.

“The life of a victor.” Effie Trinket, I adore you.

“We’re fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction.” One of my favorite quotes from the entire series.

The Katniss and Peeta theme that always plays over their scenes together is so beautifully composed. James Newton Howard is a genius.

“You love me. Real or not Real?” “Real” maybe I cry everytime. maybe I do, and thats okay.

Katniss goes from seeking Peeta’s comfort because of nightmares to seeking his comfort because she genuinely just wants to be with him, and I think that’s beautiful.

Anytime I see anyone complain that Katniss having children/ending up with Peeta is OOC and shouldn’t have happened, I have to physically reframe myself from fighting them.

“But there are much worse games to play” is the perfect way to end the series. Suszanne Collins, you may have caused me emotional trauma, but you are a genius and I’ll forever be grateful that you created my favorite story.

As you can tell, I have a lot of thoughts/emotions when it comes to this series. Seriously, I have a lot. So if anyone ever wants to talk about it with me, don’t be afraid to reach out.

[cinematicnomad]

1, 7, 25 for the fanfic end of year ask :)

001. favorite fic you wrote this year i have a soft spot for take my hand (take my everything) which was the first fic i wrote this year! and kind of the first step back into writing creatively on something new that wasn’t the 7 year monster sterek fic. also my first foray into 9-1-1 fic and was just a lot of fun! 

007. longest completed fic you wrote this year the longest fic i wrote was my second for the year! so show me (family) wound up being around 16k+ for 9-1-1 which kind of burst out of me over the course of one 48 hour window unlike take my hand which took a few weeks to crank out. 

025. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read SO MANY FICS DUDE!!! i’m gonna rec a couple, some that i re-read this year and some that i discovered for the first time, all from a variety of fandoms. BUT heads up, you didn’t specify a fandom so it’s gonna be a little scattered. also someone else sent me this same question but specified 9-1-1, so i’m gonna reserve those recs for that ask. GET READY!!

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (7/7 | 84k+ | M) destiel; AU: college/university; john winchester’s A+ parenting; angst with a happy ending

only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet jack allen is just kansas mechanic dean winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.

until, that is, a string of coincidences leads dean to auditing a poetry course with one dr. castiel novak. the professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia’s foremost expert on the poetry of jack allen.

note: i discovered this fic back in the pre-pandemic times of feb 2020 and i’ve read this fic TWICE since, leaving a lengthy comment each time. the poetry in the fic itself is stunningly gorgeous and i have a habit of reading it out loud to myself while reading bc it begs to be heard. this fic is seriously beautiful and makes me want to read all the poet!dean au’s out there in the world. unfortunately there aren’t that many so i just keep coming back to this well. i don’t think i can express enough how much i love this fic. 

lost time by ARCurren (105/105 | 350k+ | T)  bransonxsybil; AU: canon divergent; outsider POVs; original characters; slow burn

the story of a free spirit who was asked to give up the man she loved for a system she didn’t believe in and what happened next. AU after 3.04. 

note: did i think, when i stumbled across this fic years ago, that it would wind up being one of my all time favorites that i return to time and again to re-read? never. did i re-read it for like the dozenth time this year?? 110%. this fic is everything i want from fanfiction—it’s beautifully written, expands on canon, and shows me all the hidden moments the cameras never did (not to mention it’s historically accurate and delves deep into irish politics of the time). the first third or so of this fic is all about tom and sybil’s slow burn romance at downton, but the fic really bursts into its own when we follow the two to dublin and get introduced to all of the author’s deliciously detailed oc’s. heads up warning: this fic was never officially completed, though the final chapter is a beautifully written summary of the final arc of the fic. even so, it’s fucking worth it. 

misfire by mothlights & unpossible (6/6 | 28k+ | T) sterek; time travel; angst with a happy ending; alive hale family; magic; alternating POV

“the debt must be repaid,” she says, and it has the weight of a vow. the words resonate through him, ringing through his ribcage and the bones of his jaw, and stiles loses his breath and maybe his grip on reality because she draws herself upright and where there had once stood a supermodel-level MILK now there is galadriel’s much hotter older sister, a presence of unmistakable power in their ordinary, smells-vaguely-of-thai-takeout hallway. 

“oh shit,” stiles says. 

note: this fic is the first in the misfire ‘verse and i need you to understand that it literally broke me when i binge read these fics a month or so ago. i am a sucker for a solid time travel fic especially bc there are such few good ones in fandom. but this gets at the heart of it all by exploring the idea of stiles getting the chance to save derek’s family and taking it...after he and derek are romantically together in his true timeline and then actually dealing with the ramifications of how that alters everything and how stiles survives in this new present where he and derek are virtual strangers. everyone should definitely read this, but you should also know that i fucking sobbed while reading the sequel (which also has a happy ending, but really digs deep into the nitty gritty angst of the repercussions). 

map of the world by seperis (11/11 | 154k+ | M)  destiel; end!verse; alternate universe; canon divergent; original characters; slow burn

the world’s already over and they’re already dead. all they’re doing now is marking time until the end. 

note: look, if you don’t know about down to agincourt by @seperis, what are you doing with your life?? the series is over 1M+ words so far, the fic author is on book 4 out of a planned 8, and it’s fucking phenomenal. i know i’ve tagged a couple of these recs as slow burn but...this is the slowest slow burn to ever burn. canon!dean travels back into the end!verse timeline just as lucifer kills dean and somehow cas made it out alive and has to keep dean safe while he learns to become his end!verse counterpoint. the world building in this series is intense and i cannot recommend it enough. i’m still in the midst of my re-read bc it’s SUCH an endeavor but i highly recommend it to everybody. 

invictus by ellanasan (116/116 | 355+ | M) hayffie; au: alive abernathy family; pre-hunger games; canon prostitution; slow burn

“so then, before i can even think about doing something stupid like trying to stab him with his fucking golden paperknife, he gives me a choice, see?” haymitch continued, almost detached. “either i play nice like all the other victors or he’ll kill my family. i could either become his puppet—greatest punishment he could give me, according to him—or i could become the example.”

AU in which haymitch’s family lives.

note: hello, have you ever wondered what the hunger games series would be like if haymitch’s family were alive? i fucking hadn’t until 2 years ago when i stumbled across this fic and fell head over heels in love with this ship. @ellanainthetardis is my go to hunger games fic writer for anything exploring canon and i’m obsessed with anything she writes about the OG victors pre-canon (finnick, joanna, chaff, etc). this fic is just 300k+ exploring that world and all the intricate details of how cruel the games could really be. HIGHLY recommend. i definitely re-read it this fall when i needed a pick me up.

don’t know what i’m supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) by crazyassmurdererwall (1/1 | 30k+ | T) sterek; canon divergent; angst with a happy ending; ghosts; stiles POV

stiles sees dead people. yep. seriously.

(he’s got this. he’s totally got this. so what if one of them is derek’s mom?)

note: did you know that @crazyassmurdererwall is one of my all time favorite people? and that she’s wicked talented? and that in our spare time she’ll send me a billion fic ideas that are amazing and i get to hear all the intricate details of her plot bunnies? but i digress. this fic is one of my all time fave sterek fics i’ve re-read it sooo many times. there’s just something about the heartache and stiles’ insecurity and the way he tries to shoulder it all on his own. and then there’s alli’s brilliant writing, the way she weaves through a scene and paints a picture just so and manages to tug at your heart strings with her precise word choice. there’s some amazing world building in this fic as it explores this other facet of the supernatural that canon teen wolf never touched upon, and i’m so grateful for that bc alli is the only one who should be allowed to write about ghosts and teen wolf together. 

lagavulin and guinness by snarfle (10/10 | 163k+ | explicit) hartwin; slow burn; PTSD; suicidal thoughts; graphic depictions of violence; domestic abuse

plenty of people had looked down on eggsy throughout his life. he had gotten fairly used to it. didn’t mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. what really sucked was that the new arthur was worse than the old one.

“eggsy grimaced. he didn’t know how to explain to harry—who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life—that the new arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

also featuring: dean is harder to get rid of than eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and eggsy is really beginning to wish that harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

note: look, i know i recced this literally less than a week ago but i ALSO stayed up til 5AM re-reading this last night and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i was on a bit of a kingsman kick earlier this year, so i’ve actually re-read this fic TWICE so far in 2020. i will give you a serious warning in that this fic delves deep into domestic abuse through the lens of a variety of different relationships. it also explores the potential for abuse in hartwin, bc this fic is one of the few that actually commits to the fact that they’re literal spies who murder people. actively. a lot. but seriously, this fic is one of my fave in the fandom and i STRONGLY recommend it. 

waste of breath by bryrosea (1/1 | 22k+ | M) loganxveronica; canon compliant; missing scenes; navy; past child abuse

logan echolls, the nine years, and the navy.

note: bryrosea has an obscene number of amazing logan and veronica fics (her canon divergent series stay with me is another i re-read this year), but i’ve found myself returning to this fic a lot over the years. i’m a sucker for canon compliant fics that explore the missing scenes in between canon and this fic hits all the right buttons by diving deep into how logan echolls went from being a trash fire at hearst college at the end of s3 to being a decorated navy pilot by the movie. it explores logan seeking out therapy and making a life for himself that he can be proud of, all while pining after the girl who got away. and bc this author is amazing, she followed it up with a sequel from veronica’s point of view in the series done by only me. 

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog (8/8 | 60k+ | M) destiel; POV castiel; pre-canon; post-canon; canon compliant; immortality; reincarnation

“and what’s the point of it?”

“of love? there isn’t one. loving is its own purpose.” 

note: i mean??? i don’t really know what to say except that this is one of the truly most beautiful fics i have ever read. it follows castiel through time as he meets different reincarnations of sam and dean across history and falls ever more deeply in love. it is achingly tender and so ecstatically written that i die just thinking about it. and that summary? i mean. holy fuck break my heart why don’t you? i don’t know how i missed out on this fic for so long since it was published in 2015 but i only learned about it for the first time back in july and it was. life changing?? when the fic finally reaches the canon timeline and he meets THIS dean it’s peak yearning. 10/10 will read again.

ahead in the count by elisela (17/17 | 50k+ | E) sterek; AU: sports; pitcher!stiles; teacher!derek; long distance relationship; getting together

“yankee fan,” derek says, laughing when stiles makes a disgusted face. “the bronx bombers, stiles, you can’t be a new yorker and—”

“stop talking right now,” stiles sighs, shaking his head. “i can’t believe i still want to kiss you after that,” he says, pulling derek in by his coat. “this is making me rethink everything.” 

“i’ll never watch them again,” derek promises, and stiles laughs against his mouth. 

or: stiles is a starting pitcher for the NY mets when he meets and falls in love with derek. derek doesn’t know. 

note: i read SO MANY of @elisela’s 911 fics this summer, which i loved, and then she got into teen wolf and started writing sterek and i just about died. this fic is amazing, one of my fave sterek AU’s that i’ve read in years. it’s just the right amount of drama and angst and fluff filled with all the joys of miscommunication and character relationships that makes reading sterek such a joy. reading this fic and finding out eli needed fic recs pushed me to dive back in to reading sterek fics for a bit this fall so i can say with the utmost authority that this is one of the best i’ve read in a long time. 

i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us by notequitegucci (2/2 | 32k+ | M) gendrya; alternate universe—modern setting; outsider POV; friends to lovers; friends to lovers

9 times a stark encounters gendry + 1 time he meets the starks.

note: again, this is the first in a 2 part series titled love me like you do that explores arya and gendry’s dynamics together through the point of view of her family. game of thrones ended last year with a whimper but i keep returning to the gendrya tag on ao3 to seek out new, amazing content and also to re-read some old favorites. i can’t remember if i came across this for the first time last year or this one, but i’ve read it and re-read it more times than i can count since and i love it more than i can describe. i’m a total sucker for outsider POV fics and my biggest pet peeve in canon is the fact that none of the stark’s ever found out that arya and gendry had a history together. this modern au fic almost makes up for it by giving me a gendry encounter with every family member and then the big reveal. it’s peak content. 

theeeeeeese recs got a little away from me. i wasn’t originally intending on adding lengthy notes to each entry but ... oh well!! these are all amazing so please enjoy. 

fanfic end of the year asks

[nami-writes]

*inhale*

OKAY ITS 11:26 PM AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I BINGED THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIES TODAY AND ALSO WATCHED MOCKINGJAY PT 2 FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT PEETA

*exhale*

okay so first off i just wanna say mockingjay pt 2 is 100% my fave thg movie simply bc of the ANGST

all i could think about while i was watching it was how GOOD the mf fanfiction would be

like,,,,, the descriptions of trauma and pain and hurting and healing and his reasons for being homicidal and the panic attacks he probably has and oh my god im gonna die

like peeta’s ENTIRE character arc in that movie is just. healing from trauma and i literally Cannot i love angst

like?? just think of him getting to 13 and hearing katniss’s voice in that room and his heartbeat spikes and fear floods thru him and he knows something bad is coming and he’s gonna be hurt bc he’s always hurt when she’s involved and he’s not restrained, he can make the first move, he has to make the first move or she’ll hurt him again

or being strapped down to the bed in that observation room, pulling and straining and struggling in his restrains, just trying desperately to escape bc he’s in a building with katniss and he’s scared and afraid and alone and vulnerable and if he doesnt get out he never will

or being taken to the other district where katniss and her squad are, muttering “my name is peeta mellark, i’m from district 12,” over and over bc if he doesn’t he’ll forget again, he’ll forget who he was and who he now has to be again and he cant forget again or the handcuffs will stay on and he’ll never be trusted and he’ll never be truly safe, not when nobody there knows who he is anymore, not even himself

or trying to test the waters, talking to katniss despite every instinct in him telling him it’s unsafe, she’s unsafe, and finnick telling him that if he’s unsure about his memories he can just ask, and it’s such a simple solution but it was so easily overlooked until he was told about it bc the thought never even crossed his mind that maybe they might be willing to help and maybe they aren’t as bad as he thought

or listening to the sound of gunfire from the pod as he crouches behind the wall with strangers he has to trust with his life, but his eyes are glassy and his heart’s racing but he can’t even feel it bc all he can focus on is the gunfire, how he listened to gunfire just like it kill innocent people in the capital, innocent prisoners, some of which he knew but most of which didn’t seem to have anyone and all of which died at the hands of snow and peacekeepers, a fate he was threatened with constantly before and after he sat in the furthest corner of his cell, trying to cover his ears and muffle the guns and the screams and banging his head on the wall in a feeble attempt to die, just die, just let me die already

or running from that black goop chasing them and his survival instincts kick in and all he can think about is surviving, he has to survive, he needs to survive, even if it’s at the cost of someone else’s life, and he doesn’t feel in control of himself at all when he watches himself grab the nearest person and drag him to the ground, throw him into the sea of black to die before somebody restrains him and he’s dragged inside only to be tranquilized like a rabid dog, like an animal, because at that point, it’s practically all he is

or fighting the sewer monster things and seeing katniss being attacked and for just a moment, considering not helping her because all that matters is that he survives this, but he snaps out of it just enough to drag it off of her and divert its attention to attacking him instead and he’s panicking because he just saved her and he thinks she’s left him to die, he can’t keep it at bay for much longer and he’s going to die because nobody else here cares about him, katniss is the only one who’d even bother to try and help him, and then finnick kills it and saves his life but that only makes his screams echo in his head when he doesn’t make it

or running in the underground parking lot(?) and just barely making it and he’s just barely keeping himself from murdering someone again and then he just can’t find it in him to keep going, can’t find any reason to keep going when all he is is a liability because he can’t even be trusted, he can’t even not get someone killed, finnick died because of him and he’s so fucked up he has homicidal urges that he’s just barely able to stop himself from acting on and there’s no point in him going on anymore, there’s no point in him living anymore

or sitting with katniss and asking her to handcuff him because although he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he doesn’t want to be the reason another person dies and they treat him so well, better than he’d been treated in so long, and it just isn’t fair that what they get in return for that is a murderous, broken man, and he’d rather be cuffed than be a danger to the people who barely know him and yet have been so kind that they’ve kept him alive and haven’t even hurt him at all for how little he contributes

or talking to gale, remembering gale’s history with katniss and that he himself has no chance with her, not with gale, not when she’d obviously choose her childhood best friend over him, and he can’t deny to himself that he’s afraid gale thinks he’s a threat because he’d be completely vulnerable to him if he wanted to just kill him, only to be told that gale thinks the opposite and that he has no chance with peeta, but although it does give him a little hope, it also gives him guilt because he knows gale deserved her far more than he ever would

oh my GOD the potential angst hurts

but it’s been almost an hour since i started writing this and now my headcanons are written down so i’m gonna try to actually sleep lmao

if i ever write this shit its gonna have a LOTTA feels and i am gonna be LIVING for it

[miaouerie]

[coda] a pyrrhic victory/an elpidian daydream

this coda marks my first multichapter fic wrapped up and completed!!! so here’s some more related ramblings as a way for me to commemorate this milestone n___n

with the nonlinear narrative I thought I’d include a linked timeline for the chapters in case anyone (like me lol) wants to read the story in chronological order. then there’s some further explanation of what I’ve dubbed ~the jeron’s death conspiracy~ and notes from characterization I wasn’t able to include directly in the story, but were still important regardless...

furthermore, I want to thank @ninelanterns, @atthelamppost, and @sadieandor for following along with this story, as well as anyone else who came along for the adventure. this is definitely a darkfic as far as rebelcaptain goes but I hope that both endings were satisfying in their own ways !!

1. an actual chronological table of contents

Before Cassian is reaped:

day 15

Cassian’s time in the Games:

days 2, 9, 5, 18

What came after that:

days 6, 7, 11, 13, 14, 22, 26◆

Jeron dies:

days 20, 8, 25

Jyn is reaped and Cassian mentors her:

days 1, 3, 4, 12, 10, 16, 17◆, 19◆, 21, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30

After Jyn wins her Games:

bonus chapter, day 31

◆ = chapters that are about trauma concurrent to most of the story, and loosely placed chronologically

2. the Jeron conspiracy

I decided to do a summary for this because I changed my plan slightly after posting day 8: “don’t say goodbye”/abandoned due to some inspiration from @ninelanterns; originally I was going to have snow have cassian brainwashed into genuinely believing that irga and his father were killed by someone with a grudge against them and the capitol (aka someone closely related to a tribute who died under their mentorship) in order to use him as a mouthpiece against those plotting against the capitol; the angst would’ve been from him finding out the truth and hating that his dad’s suicide was used for the capitol’s means. but then I got the idea to have snow brainwash cassian into believing that the “accident” his father and irga died in was actually his fault, because he told jeron the truth of what snow was doing to him in the capitol:

Snow sells Cassian “under the table” until he turns 19, which is when he has Cassian adopt a new persona that can be better capitalized on. Jeron realizes that Cassian’s faking it, suspects that Cassian has been hiding his victimhood this entire time, and when he confirms it realizes there’s no other way to get Cassian out of it; Snow certainly won’t let him sub in to mentor. Suicide is his solution to both Cassian’s problem and his guilt over not being able to protect his son.

Snow has Irga killed in the same way that Jeron kills himself to let Cassian and Lila know that Snow knows it was a suicide. Suicide is the ultimate refutation of Snow’s power—as well as the complete antithesis to any victor’s innate clinging to survival—so Snow has it covered up: Cassian, as one of two people to know the truth about Jeron’s suicide and Irga’s death, is tortured and brainwashed into believing that Jeron and Irga were killed in a power plant explosion as retribution for him disobeying Snow. Doing so serves two purposes: installing the cover-up and guarantees Cassian’s submission.

Before his death Jeron wrote a suicide note, knowing that he couldn’t kill himself and leave Cassian without an explanation. He knows that Snow will have their house stripped and searched, so he hides the note in what was designated to be Cassian’s house. He couldn’t have known it would be the one thing that would break through the brainwashing; if Cassian hadn’t found it, he would have continued to believe that it was all his fault.

Draven does his own investigation into Jeron and Irga’s deaths after witnessing the whiplash that was Cassian’s first three years as an unwilling victor whore, his outrageous personality flip after turning ninteen, and how his demeanor changed after undergoing “therapy” to cope with Jeron’s death. He finds out that Jeron’s death was a suicide, Irga’s death was retribution, and that Snow has an entire program to monetize and exploit victors after their Games.

3. getting from day 1 to 31?!

when I originally thought of this AU it was more about the angst that growing up in the limelight of the capitol as the son of a victor would be like, with constant camera crews as cassian was growing up, betting pools on when he was going to be reaped, etc. and more of an emphasis on the issues that cassian (as part of the pseudo-celebrity class that victors occupy in the capitol) would have trying to promote this fake relationship with jyn during the games to save her. there was also going to be a straight downer ending, with the closing scene being cassian telling jyn that they have to fake a relationship now in front of the cameras and jyn having a “what have you done?” moment

I deliberately did not go in depth with what jeron’s life as a victor was like, partly because plotting both jyn and cassian’s hunger games was already a Lot (I found out pretty quickly that you have to start with planning the arena first, in order to plan tribute deaths and sponsor gifts...) but jeron was an underdog winner, as are most of the victors from non-career districts. lila was pregnant around the time that jeron was reaped and esperanza, their first child, was born some time before jeron’s victory tour. snow had their daughter killed because of something jeron did/didn’t do on the tour; even though jeron and lila are shaken from the loss they agree to be open to having another child, provided that jeron doesn’t do anything to put the child at risk ever again.... but cassian would’ve gotten reaped regardless because there is no way snow wouldn’t have exploited the family drama!!! but cassian’s reaping creates a rift that is referenced in day 15: accidents. and even though jeron is successful in saving cassian that isn’t the end of it; while lila isn’t privy to what cassian is going through she can feel a marked difference each year he comes back in the way that mothers do, as well as the tension between father and son (cassian’s fear of jeron finding out as he’s dragged deeper and deeper vs. jeron’s suspicion that something wrong is happening that has to do with cassian), which all culminates in the year that cassian turns nineteen with jeron’s death. when her husband arrived in district 5 before cassian did he didn’t tell lila about their son being a horndog in the capitol, but lila seeing cassian after he finally gets back five weeks later confirms her worst fears. then she’s the one that discovers jeron’s body and is present when the peacekeepers come to take cassian back to the capitol. her son is gone for a month....... then when he comes back he’s spouting lies about jeron’s death even though both of them saw the body??? yeah, that’s why she nopes on out of victors’ village. after jeron’s death her and cassian don’t see each other for four years until cassian brings jyn home from the games

jyn’s backstory came together quickly but I had considered having bodhi be one of the tributes who died under cassian’s mentorship. bodhi and jyn would’ve been close friends so jyn would have already had that vendetta against cassian; it would’ve made hitting that original ending easier but having jyn be against cassian from the very start would’ve made it less plausible that they could earn each other’s trust before the start of jyn’s games............. while I wanted this story to be dark and depressing I still wanted it to have a reciprocated rebelcaptain end game, so :’)

it wasn’t until day 28 (the cassian/finnick noncon) that I got an idea for a not-so-horrible ending, and I blame the completely depressingly hopeless whump in that chapter for making me think “hmm maybe this shouldn’t end terribly” :’D btw, if anyone noticed I forgot annie cresta is in canon the 70th hunger games victor. for someone who’s neurotic about looking up details I have no idea how this fact escaped me because I didn’t notice until at least halfway through whumptober, so we’ll just say in this AU she’s the 71st victor. this weaves in nicely with my headcanon that after snow saw how easily cassian was manipulated when someone he loved was on the line, he had annie reaped to exert more control over finnick (which happens to be my favorite kind of odesta fic tbh). anyway after writing 3k of depressing andair (andor/odair ship name? ok i’m shutting up) cassian/finnick I had a lovely mental image of cassian and jyn cuddling on the train back home to district 5, relieved and alive, and thought that would be a more uplifting note to end on. then I remembered that I was writing this for whumptober, and decided to write the terrible ending too :’)

4. some chapter commentary because why not

[ETA later!]

5. is there no escape?

yes!!! yes they do escape:

in a pyrrhic victory, post-day 31, draven succeeds in absconding with cassian and meeting up with jyn, saw, lyra, and the rest of their resistance cell (an underground, pan-panem organization fittingly called.... the alliance). draven has to cut out cassian’s implant before they rendezvous with the group, which he ropes a medical professional into doing (he may or may not kill them afterwards); it’s the only mark cassian bears on his body until he starts getting freckles from being in the sun again. similar to mockingjay in how peeta’s hijacking was treated with therapy in district 13, cassian undergoes actual, legitimate therapy after he and draven settle in with the alliance HQ. draven hovers anxiously for the first several sessions because “therapy” in the capitol has a stigma, even before he read the term “extensive in-patient therapy” in cassian’s intendance records, and it does take a good while before they make any remarkable progress. but unlike katniss and peeta cassian is alright in jyn’s presence, and in fact prefers it. they’re almost always seen together, and while jyn has a good amount of guilt for leaving him behind the first time her motivation for staying with him is out of a genuine desire to help him get better so they can be with each other the same way they were in an elpidian daydream again.

in happily ever after!an elpidian daydream, cassian and jyn are able to escape together in between arriving home in district 5 and what was supposed to be jyn’s victory tour. jyn was never aware of what snow did with desirable victors because it’s really only the top 1% of panem and the victors who know about it; she and cassian escape after he tells her that he wants to leave with her, but he doesn’t tell her the real reason why he wants to escape until much later and jyn never sees the recording of cassian and finnick (but he does tell her it exists when he’s explaining the details of how snow exerts his control over the victors). their relationship progresses steadily, but the secret doesn’t come out until jyn points out that cassian is extremely passive in bed and only mirrors her desires. there’s varying attitudes towards sex in the districts vs. the libertine views in the capitol but cassian’s shame stems from his powerlessness in what he had to do Before. he receives therapy for it but jyn is patient and firm with reminding him that he had absolutely zero choice in the matter, and that she could never hate or be disgusted with him for it. there’s a lot to work through there as a result of cassian having to lie to himself about it for the first couple of years of it happening and then willingly choosing to engage with it when he was trying to save jyn, but their relationship comes out all the more stronger for it. as for what happens to draven?.... because this is the happily ever after ending I like to think he’s able to stay in the capitol and work as an agent codenamed fulcrum 🤪🤙 and that after his extraction when things get too dangerous for him in the capitol he and cassian are able to reunite again as part of the alliance/rebellion !!