#but i have no idea how much is intentional or genuinely self-aware but i do know i've come across very little that resembles her good

[beloveliness]

can she rework her whole writing process or

[imsobadatnicknames2]

ok but i need the evrart claire essay

Okay just be warned that this is gonna be less of an "essay" and more of a loose collection of thoughts, and I don't know how fresh or novel any of these ideas are going to be when it pertains to popular Disco Elysium fan discourse because I don't really do fandom, you know?

Anyway, I think the most obvious factet of Evrart's character is how he very intentionally calls to mind a caricature of corrupt union leaders, the image of a sleazy mobster who only cares about his own personal gain but pays lip service to leftist politics and pretends to care about the interests of workers as a way to obtain and maintain his power. And I think a lot of people straightforwardly read him as such, because that's the way he carries himself and the type of character the game is riffing on. There's also the question of how much of Evrart's manipulative, duplicitous attitude is just how he normally acts and how much of it is him specifically acting that way towards Harry and Kim specifically, it's important to have in mind that your main character is a cop and that would definitely play a role in making Evrart go out of his way to be a bit more of a bastard and toy with you a bit before he decides to actually do anything helpful.

However, once you dig a little deeper into his characterization, it becomes clear that he's pulling a very interesting double bluff, because it becomes apparent that the shady mobster who only cares about his personal gain is an act he's putting on. He's very self-aware about the fact that he's playing the villain, he seems to actively revel in it, but ultimately, it seems like he does it because playing the villain is the way he gets shit done.

This is not to say he's not actually corrupt, or that he's not ALSO involved in all sorts of shady stuff and taking advantage of his position of power, but the game does make it apparent that on some level he DOES have the interests of the people of Martinaise at heart.

For example, it is textually stated that the harbor doesn't need a night watchman, and Evrart created the position specifically to provide a source of income for René. He knows the pension Rene gets is not enough for him to live on, but he's also aware that René is the sort of right-wing guy who would rather starve to death than take a handout (especially from those dirty union commies), so Evrart created a job position which pretty much involves doing nothing for a few hours every night so he could help him with his economic troubles in a way he wouldn't refuse out of principle. René hates his guts, ideologically stands against everything his organization represents, and is generally an unlikeable asshole and a fascist prick, but he's also a disadvantaged member of the community and that seems to matter more.

Even when he asks you to get the signatures to build the community center, which is definitely one of the most morally questionable things he does during the events of the game (as it will improve the community, but at the same time displace the people from the fishing village), his intentions seem to be ultimately good. Due to the very nature of his character and the act he puts on, it's purposefully hard to tell when he's being sincere and when he's being manipulative. However, if Harry's drama and empathy skills are high enough when he's confronted about it, you'll be able to tell that he's not lying about his motives for wanting to build a community center or about the fact that he intends to provide better housing for the people displaced by the project, and that he feels genuine rage about their current living conditions. It can still be said that he's ignoring their self-determination and essentially forcing these people out of their current homes, but he does seem to have good intentions and think he's doing a good thing for them in the long run, even if his methods are morally questionable at best.

In that way, the Union is an extension of him in this regard too. They're pretty unapologetic about the fact that they're openly operating as a crime syndicate, but the game doesn't give you any reasons to believe they're lying when they say they're doing it as a way to muslce out all the more dangerous gangs and crime organizations out of Martinaise, or that their involvement in the drug trade is at least partially motivated by a desire to make sure it's not controlled by more dangerous and violent crime organizations. Again, they're playing the villain as a way to fill that power vacuum and make sure more dangerous people don't fill that role (but of course, that doesn't erase the fact that, noble as their intentions may be, they're still involved in all these shady activities and turning a pretty substantial profit from them too)

Of course, on the other hand, just because the game seems to hint at the fact that Evrart and the Union are, deep down, a force for good, doesn't erase the fact that he's done plenty of bad shit to further his interests, and the game doesn't shy away from this. He's still extremely corrupt, his long-term plan to wrestle control of the harbor away from the company and turn it into a worker-owned operation (which *would* massively improve the material conditions of the dockworkers if succesful) involves endangering the lives of a lot of his own workers, he and his brother Edgar pass the position of union foreman back and forth between each other to circumvent the term limit and keep themselves in power indefinitely, and if you explore all dialogue options with the Deserter it's all but explicitly stated that they rose to power by getting him to assassinate the previous Union forewoman.

These are things that Evrart himself would probably rationalize as sacrifices that need to be made for the greater good. After all, it is implied that the previous union forewoman was also corrupt, except in favor of the company's interests, and might have even been a company plant. However, this doesn't make those things morally right. Good intentions nonwithstanding, it's clear that the Claire brothers are very "the ends justify the means" kind of people, they probably see getting the previous Union leader killed or endangering the lives of the dockworkers to overthrow the company that exploits them as "pulling the lever" in the trolley problem, which is extremely callous at best.

Here's where we get a little more into "disjointed thoughts" territory, but Evrart can also be seen as a critique of the limits of trade unionism and social democrat politics. Something that I completely missed in my first playthrough but was able to catch on during my second is that the people of the fishing village refuse to unionize, and as a result they don't get the same level of support and protection that the union provides to the people of the more urban section of Martinaise. This is apparently widely known enough for characters other than Evrart to comment on (I forget what character I learned this from, but it was definitely not Evrart). So it's clear that Evrart and the Union put their interests of the members of their own organization over those of other working class people, which is one criticism that can be leveraged against the way a lot of leftists seem to treat unions as the ultimate tool for worker class liberation.

Similarly, when Evrart tells you his long-term plans, it's clear that his ultimate goals don't involve complete worker liberation. As far as the game shows, he's a socdem who's still looking to work within the confines of capitalism. There are more radically left wing characters in Disco Elysium, but Evrart is the only one with any actual power to affect change, which kinda speaks to the lack of presence of more hardline leftist positions in mainstream politics. As someone living in Latin America, I kinda ended up seeing a bit of a lot of our currrent socdem politicians in him in that respect, I guess, but i'd need more time to articulate this thought properly, I guess.

Ultimately, I think Evrart is an amazingly crafted character. He evokes a well-known archetype of a shady, corrupt, power-hungry union leader, but he adds a lot of depth, self-awareness, and nuance to it and subverts that characterization in several ways. I think he atually serves an important role of ideologically challenging players who share the developers' and writers' political leanings. I think it would have been very self-congratulatory and autocomplacent to make the most influential leftist character in the game an unambiguously good paragon of workers' rights and working class liberation. By instead giving us someone who's an absolute callous bastard who definitely has a bit of blood on his hands, who's a socdem at best and a self-serving mob boss at worst, but can ultimately be interpreted as a force for good, and asking the players to decide what they think of him I think it brings interesting questions to the table of our commitment to material gains, what sorts of people we're willing to work with, and the sort of acts we're willing to tolerate, and makes the game a lot more thematically rich.

I also think a good analysis of Evrart is incomplete without an analysis of the ways in which he serves a a charater foil for Joyce, but I don't feel like getting into that rn.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

any tips would be appreciated, thanks! :)

hi, i was wondering if u could help me with writing a specific type of character? i have a character who’s a man with insecurity issues and he ends up acting weird towards the women around him (basically, he’s internalized the idea of “getting the girl makes you more of a man” without really realizing it). i want him to realize what he’s doing during the story and go thru a kind of “redemption arc” but how do i:

1. make it believable that he doesn’t realize what he’s doing/the harm he’s causing bc he grew up learning that message of toxic masculinity

2. make the “redemption arc” realistic and feel earned?

Hey there, fellow writer! Thanks so much for reaching out with such a thoughtful and complex character question. It's fantastic that you're diving into the nuances of toxic masculinity and character growth. This is a challenging but incredibly important topic to explore in fiction. Let's break this down and dive deep into crafting this character arc.

Understanding Your Character's Background

Before we get into the specifics of your questions, it's crucial to fully understand your character's background. This man's insecurity and internalized toxic masculinity didn't develop overnight. Consider factors like:

Family dynamics: What messages did he receive from his parents or guardians about masculinity and relationships?

Peer influences: How did his friends and classmates reinforce or challenge these ideas?

Media consumption: What movies, TV shows, or books shaped his view of male-female relationships?

Cultural context: How does his broader cultural background influence his beliefs about masculinity?

The more you understand about where these beliefs came from, the more believable his initial lack of self-awareness will be.

Now, let's tackle your specific questions:

Making it believable that he doesn't realize what he's doing/the harm he's causing

The key here is to show how deeply ingrained these beliefs are. Here are some strategies:

a) Normalize it in his world: Show other characters, especially male friends or family members, exhibiting similar behaviors without consequence. This reinforces the idea that it's "normal" or even expected.

b) Internal justification: When he acts in problematic ways, give him internal monologue that justifies his actions. For example, if he makes an inappropriate comment, he might think, "She'll appreciate a confident guy who speaks his mind."

c) Misinterpretation of reactions: When women react negatively to his behavior, have him misinterpret their responses. He might see discomfort as shyness or rejection as playing hard to get.

d) Positive reinforcement: Occasionally, have his behavior "work" in superficial ways. Maybe he gets a phone number or a date, reinforcing the idea that his approach is effective.

e) Backstory reveals: Gradually reveal moments from his past where these beliefs were instilled or reinforced. This could be a father figure praising him for "manning up" or friends mocking him for not being "alpha" enough. (I hate that word.)

f) Contrast with "worse" behavior: Show other characters behaving even more egregiously, making his actions seem mild in comparison.

g) Good intentions: Highlight moments where he genuinely believes he's being helpful or chivalrous, even when his actions are problematic.

h) Cognitive dissonance: When confronted with the negative impacts of his behavior, show him struggling to reconcile this with his beliefs. He might dismiss criticism as overreaction or make excuses.

2. Making the "redemption arc" realistic and feel earned

This is where the real challenge lies. A believable redemption arc for this character needs to be gradual, challenging, and multifaceted. Here's how to approach it:

a) Incremental realization: Don't have him suddenly "see the light." Instead, show small moments of doubt or discomfort with his own behavior building up over time.

b) Consequences: Let him experience real, significant consequences for his actions. This could be losing a friendship, facing professional repercussions, or a moment of clear rejection that he can't misinterpret.

c) Mentor figure: Introduce a character (could be male or female) who challenges his views in a way he can't easily dismiss. This person should be someone he respects or admires.

d) Empathy building: Create situations where he's forced to see things from a woman's perspective. This could be through a role reversal, a close female friend sharing her experiences, or even him witnessing clear harassment of someone he cares about.

e) Internal conflict: Show him struggling with his changing views. He might backslide or have moments of defensiveness as he grapples with his ingrained beliefs.

f) Active learning: Have him actively seek out information and perspectives on toxic masculinity and healthy relationships. This could involve reading, attending workshops, or having difficult conversations.

g) Apologizing and making amends: Show him genuinely apologizing to people he's hurt and taking concrete actions to make amends. This shouldn't be easy or immediately accepted.

h) Ongoing process: Make it clear that this is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Even towards the end of the story, he should still be learning and growing.

i) Paying it forward: Have him start to challenge toxic behavior in others, showing that he's internalized the lessons he's learned.

j) Redefining masculinity: Show him developing a new, healthier concept of what it means to be a man. This might involve exploring traditionally "feminine" interests or expressing vulnerability.

k) Setbacks: Include moments where he falls back into old patterns, but now recognizes and corrects himself. This shows the ongoing nature of change.

Tips for Writing This Arc Effectively:

Show, don't tell: Rather than having your character explicitly state his growth, show it through changed behavior and reactions.

Avoid the "savior" trope: Be cautious about having a woman "fix" him. While female characters can play a role in his growth, the work should ultimately come from him.

Balance sympathy and accountability: While we want readers to sympathize with your character's journey, be careful not to excuse his harmful behavior.

Use multiple perspectives: If possible, show how other characters perceive his behavior and his changes. This can provide valuable context and contrast.

Intersectionality: Consider how other aspects of his identity (race, class, sexuality, etc.) might intersect with his views on masculinity.

Research, research, research: Dive into academic and personal accounts of toxic masculinity, its impacts, and paths to change. The more you understand, the more nuanced your portrayal will be.

Sensitivity readers: Consider using sensitivity readers to ensure you're handling this delicate topic respectfully and accurately.

Micro-changes: Focus on small, specific changes in behavior and thought patterns rather than broad, sweeping transformations.

Realistic timeline: Give this arc the time it needs. Real change doesn't happen overnight, so don't rush the process.

Internal and external changes: Show both how his thoughts and his actions evolve throughout the story.

Example Arc Outline:

Introduction: Establish character's problematic behavior and beliefs.

Inciting incident: An event that first makes him question his actions, even if he dismisses it.

Rising action: Accumulation of experiences that challenge his worldview.

Turning point: A major event that forces him to confront the harm he's causing.

Crisis: Internal struggle as he grapples with changing his deeply held beliefs.

Climax: A moment where he must choose between his old ways and his evolving understanding.

Falling action: Actively working to change and make amends.

Resolution: Showing his ongoing growth and new perspective, while acknowledging the journey isn't over.

Remember, writing a character like this is a delicate balance. You want to show the reality of toxic masculinity and its impacts while also offering a path to growth and change. It's challenging, but when done well, it can be incredibly powerful and thought-provoking.

Throughout this process, it's important to treat your character with empathy while not excusing his behavior. The goal is to show that change is possible, but it requires genuine effort, self-reflection, and a willingness to challenge deeply held beliefs.

Lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself while writing this arc. Exploring topics like toxic masculinity can be emotionally taxing. Take breaks when needed, engage in self-care, and remember that by thoughtfully addressing these issues in your writing, you're contributing to important conversations about gender, relationships, and personal growth.

Happy writing, 📝💖 - Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[imsosleepyofyourbull]

I’m miserable at the knowledge that Gotoge contrasted everything about Zenitsu and Tengen on the surface — the loser crybaby demon slayer with seven ex girlfriends vs. the flashy Hashira with three loving wives — before connecting them with their breathing and their music and their hearing, only to do basically nothing with it. Are you kidding me? Could you imagine a world where Zenitsu and Tengen actually get to talk?

Because Tengen loves his wives and his friends, but they physically cannot understand what it’s like for him to step into a quiet room and still be able to hear every secret around him. To be seen as a sneak or a spy even more than he already is for his shinobi heritage, for a biological factor he can’t control no matter how hard he tries. Or to find music in the sound of the crowd’s blood, heartbeats, and very souls while being unable to share it with anyone unless he transcribes it.

Zenitsu embodies it.

He is absolutely terrified of it, hearing danger that nobody else can sense until minutes after he’s already become aware and forced to contend with the knowledge that he will also be the first to know when someone has died. How many times did he hear a heart stop beating when he was out on the streets as a child? How many times did he hear his allies’ bones and organs break or rupture in their bodies on a mission? How many times has he heard his own? It’s futile to count, but both he and Tengen know what it’s like to be that person.

And I can’t help but think that Tengen would be excited about their connection in a way that Zenitsu can’t be — he’s older, more experienced, and more confident in himself. There’s no doubt that he stopped thinking of his hearing as just a curse a long time ago, and he probably found a way to have fun with it in his music. But that also means that he’s been searching for someone who would know what he was talking about for even longer than Zenitsu. He’d jump at the opportunity the second it arose, because Zenitsu might want to run and Zenitsu might not be willing to hear what connects them… but Tengen can. And he’s not about to let that go over some petty whining.

So he decides to make the boy his student (maybe even his Tsugoku) and begins training him on everything he’s learned about his own hearing over the years. It’s like every step they take forward in building a proper teacher-student relationship is immediately offset by another five steps back. Zenitsu rejects the connection entirely because, at his core, he can’t imagine himself being comparing to Tengen — to the physical embodiment of everything he wants to be and doesn’t think that he can’t. So he shoves more broken chords into their shared symphony than actually fit and his anxiety becomes a constant shadow on the harmony of their song.

It grows distorted from both his intentional and unintentional self-destruction just as much as it does from Tengen’s own frustration. It gets worse and worse and worse, until there’s nowhere for it go anymore; until Tengen unintentionally insults Jigoro for being irresponsible and letting Zenitsu go to Final Selection with only one technique.

It will be the first and one of the only times that he gets to see become Zenitsu genuinely furious.

Because Zenitsu’s relationship with Tengen here is in the same vein as his relationship to Kaigaku in canon — he hates and respects and fears the sound hashira in equal measure. And it’s that last thing that really matters, because Zenitsu’s rage blinds him to the feeling of fear where it becomes all that Tengen can hear in his sound. The image of himself as a child reflected in a little blond boy who didn’t want to train with him (with his father) but did it anyway. Tengen’s wives have to separate them soon enough, and everyone decides that trying again isn’t a good idea.

So they take a break. A long one. Long enough that Zenitsu assumes that his apprenticeship is finally over and he can go back to whoever he was before this mess. He’s wrong, of course, because Tengen knocks on his door the very next day and they go all the way back to the Uzui Estate to try something new. They go to Tengen’s music room, filled to the brim with instruments more expensive than Zenitsu has ever seen, let alone gotten to touch, and they spend the night playing whatever they feel like. Because they’d always known each other by their sounds better than they had their words, and trying to force the latter was their first mistake. They knew better, now.

Music night becomes their ritual. After training, they air out their frustrations with song after song in a conversation only they’ll ever understand. Not a thing spoken. And, eventually, they won’t have to speak at all. Zenitsu once explained that when he tried hard enough, he could hear people’s thoughts instead of just their feelings.

What would it be like for him to not have to try at all with Tengen?

(What would it be like for him to have a mentor in the only other person who would understand?)

[chaifootsteps]

do you think Viv genuinely thinks Stolas has done enough to be forgiven in s2 and that he's in the right basically from full moon onwards? or is she just a lazy, egotistical writer who thinks whatever she does is 'good enough' no matter how badly it's written?

it's just hard to understand how anyone could write Stolas behaving the way he does in apology tour, read over the script and then think 'yep, this character is sympathetic'. even when Blitz comes to apologize to him like Stolas wants he folds his arms, pouts like a five year old and turns his head all the way around to avoid listening to him! (istg 'sassy Stolas' is his worst incarnation, bar none, because he always picks the worst moments to be obnoxious - and usually when he's in the wrong when you stop to think about it for more than 5 seconds)

but that's obviously what she wanted with how she kept liking tweets defending him and roasting Blitz (even the most awful victim blaming ones), claimed he just wasn't being self aware enough in the description and keeps insisting they're BOTH in the wrong if the intent wasn't for viewers to side with him

like put it this way: when fans blame Stolas, Viv has an issue with it. when fans blame Blitz she likes the post. if more of the discussion was people buying into the idea that Blitz is more/is solely in the wrong, I doubt she'd be doing the 'both sides' routine on Twitter

she only does it when people have a problem with Stolas because what she really wants is for fans to blame Blitz. apology tour only works as an episode when understanding the framing is that Stolas is right, Blitz is wrong (and even then it manages to make Stolas look like a petty jackass)

I genuinely don't think Viv considers Stolas to have ever done anything wrong in the same she doesn't consider herself to have ever done anything wrong. Check out the "apology" she posted to her tumblr in 2018/19...it hits all of the same notes as the excuses she makes for Stolas. Basically, "If I did anything a little insensitive it pales in comparison to how terrible the world is to me and how much this is everyone else's fault."

The only reason she did the "both sides" thing is because people were criticizing Stolas more than ever before and I don't think she was prepared for that.

[crystaldivination]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰/𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

Hello and welcome to another intuitive pick a card. In this reading we will be looking at the way and how you make others feel your love. I hope you enjoy this and if so don’t forget to leave a feedback as it’ll help me to know what to improve for further readings. Also likes, reblogs and follows are always appreciated!

✤ masterlist • paid services • spoil me! ♥︎

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each pile separately. Take your time to pick out a pile that sparks an interest or a memory in you. Come back later to it again if you can't decide.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

♥︎ Pile 1: flower crown ♥︎

Dear pile 1, everyone loves differently right? We know that people sometimes can’t read other people’s mind so the way to express love is by showing it.

For you I feel like Acts of Service and Quality Time are two of the main love languages you use to communicate your love for others, both in intimate and platonic relationships. You seem to be practical so you often like the idea of doing something for your loved ones that you know they would like. You are ready to give up your time for them if it’s what they need. As long as your loved ones feel good about it, it’s worth your effort. You’re very affectionate in the way you care for them. You show them you love them through your actions. You might pay a lot of attention to the smallest things as for example what your loved ones want to do on their vacation next week so you can already plan and prepare for it, what time their favorite show is on so you can watch together, helping them with chores, doing their errands if you notice that they don’t have the time for it or just as simply as how they like to do their hair or have their breakfast in the morning. You also look for what they don’t like to ensure they only feel positive at all time. Assume if they don’t like their space dirty or taking out the trash you’ll make sure to do these tasks for them. You usually always offer your help when needed, look out for them, give them your undivided attention to make them feel loved and appreciated without being asked to. Your actions speak for yourself. You care for them by making sure your loved ones is taken care of in any way.

♥︎ Pile 2: ballerina music box ♥︎

Dear pile 2, one of the things to create a meaningful relationship is to show the people that you love how much you love and appreciate them so that they know your sincere intentions, right?

You do it through Words of Affirmations. Your love language includes heartfelt gestures such as reminding your loved ones of how much you love them, a random simple loving compliment or a genuine thank-you yet all those small little things are coming from your heart and carry a sense of empathy towards your loved ones since you want them to hear and know what they mean to you. To you words can have a huge impact which can make a big difference. You’re aware of how powerful and beautiful words can really be. Underneath each word is an ocean of meaning and significance that is working to either strengthen or weaken a relationship's bond. Words can be used as a way to tear someone down or build someone up and you choose to embody this power in a positive way. You’re usually someone who tends to notice and care about the details of other people's lives. For instance, you may be the first to notice your partner's new haircut. You also remember to ask your neighbor if they are feeling any better since the last meeting with them. You always make sure to give other people and your loved ones a greater sense of self-worth and make them feel seen with your words. These words are also a helpful and meaningful source of motivation and encouragement to help those feel the most magnificent themselves. Since written and spoken language speaks directly to people’s heart, your strength lies in how you show and how you’re able to show people affection through effusive words, terms of endearment, and sweet little nothings, which are really sweet little everythings.

♥︎ Pile 3: love arrows ♥︎

Dear pile 3, love is the strongest and healthiest form of human and all living creature bonding and belonging. It's that magical innate feel-able sense, I believe, that is deep inside that ties and binds us —emotionally, psychologically and spiritually— to one another. Language is a way we use to express and share meaning, right?

Your love language with which you communicate or share your deepest, most essential parts of yourself to your loved ones is Physical Touch. You might find it harder to be vulnerable so just like one of our natural instincts you show your love through physical gestures such as touch or physical closeness. To you direct presence and expression matter a lot and sometimes more than things like gifts or words because you know the way to let someone know you love them is by letting them see and feel it themselves in their heart. You want to make your loved ones feel good and protected just like a mother who holds their baby in her chest to make it feel loved, connected and safe. By simply hugging them, giving them a pat on their head or holding their hands to let them know that you’re with them and that they can depend on you at any time show a lot about you. Sometimes touches do speak louder than words. It’s a way to tell without saying a word. You love them without saying a word. You actively listen and offer them your ears while showing understanding and affection through expressing them physically and soulfully. You’re affectionate by easing their heart and mind. You’re able to melt away all their worries with your touch in that moment, sooth, relax and give them that extra boost that they need. Intimacy is indeed meaningful and special.

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

Thank you for reading! Sending love your way, beautiful souls 🤍

[falling-violet-petals]

I spent the last two weeks reading every single witch hat atelier chapter (except for 77 which was published yesterday lol) and it has consumed my entire life.

I am obsessed with Qifrey just the idea of a really sweet professor who is also very morally grey and has a very dark past taking in all these traumatized little girls as his witch apprentices to protect them from the same experiences he went through and being so so understanding of their experiences and emotions and worrying about them and never pushing them to do things they don't want to do and letting them experiment as much as they want while providing guidance when they need it. And especially his relationship to Coco with how strongly she resembles his younger self and how they parallel each other but this time as her professor he is trying to keep her away from the pain he suffers and he's trying to make Coco have hope in magic in a way that he himself doesn't have. And the way he acts towards the girls actually makes them trust him SO much like (spoilers) Coco has been keeping the whole Custas ordeal a secret at the request of Tartar but in the more recent volumes she has finally decided to tell Qifrey because of how much she trusts him and Qifrey not only patiently listened to her and allowed her to do what she wanted even though it was dangerous because he knew how important it was but he also actually wanted to help Custas and was willing to talk to him instead of immediately fighting him for doing forbidden magic like the other adults (sorry Lulucy). And like idk it's weird because I'm used to seeing characters that are morally grey like him but to having a character like that just be such a genuine and good teacher/father figure. And granted he actually does have selfish reasons to want to have Coco as an apprentice and that's a big part of what makes him morally grey but a great thing about it is that he doesn't actually let these reasons change the kind of father/daughter or professor/apprentice relationship he has with her like he doesn't treat her any differently than his other apprentices and he very much cares about her beyond just being a lead to the brimhats and he constantly shows it with his actions.

Also his relationship to Olruggio is also so perfectly contradictory. Like you can't convince me they aren't in love. Personally unlike some of the fandom that likes to say they are just married but haven't said it I like to believe that they are both in love and are vaguely aware of the fact that the other likes them back but Qifrey refuses to confess because he doesn't think he deserves it for obvious reasons and he also thinks Olruggio would realize his intentions even sooner if they were romantically involved and Olruggio on the other hand is so used to Qifrey's secrets and dodgy personality and refusal to talk about serious things that he's afraid if he confessed Qifrey would just completely shut him off (we all know he would actually do something worse but shh 🤫). But even without the shipping if you just (for some reason) see them as friends there is still so much to say about their relationship like Olruggio clearly cares so deeply about Qifrey that he spent his childhood with him and then moved with him to his atelier and still lives with him after all the crazy things Qifrey pulls off (like spontaneous adoption) and he also forgives Qifrey for everything no matter what and (spoilers for chapter 40) still Qifrey (who is very much still affected by his trauma on the daily) is so closed off that he is not able to accept all of this affection and acceptance that Olruggio is willing to give to the point that Qifrey is actively harming him and violating his personhood by erasing his memories whenever he finds out about Qifrey's search. And like... the fact that Qifrey is so traumatized that in "self-defense" he's turning around and doing the exact thing that traumatized him to the person he loves most and the fact that Olruggio loves him so much that he would be willing to forgive even this... I don't even know what to say anymore because they just make me want to scream.

Anyway yeah I like Qifrey a normal amount I swear

[wavyskies]

A post that's very much related to a separate post that's been going around the graphic side of Tumblr. (To the person that made the original, this is not in bad taste. I'm just stating opinions of my own and opinions that others may have in common with me. I genuinely have no intent on trying to make you look necessarily bad in any way. The first half is just kind of me rephrasing the original post because I thought it had a good point, but that point got lost along the way.):

Make a pretty blog because: you enjoy making it, having one makes you happy, looking at it comforts you, etc.

If making a pretty blog doesn't feel like something that would be worth your time or would make you happy, then don't.

Just have fun and be yourself, there is no standard to meet and you having a "non-aesthetic" blog doesn't reflect on you. People are here for YOU, not your blog aesthetic.

That being said, to anyone and everyone who DOES have an "aesthetic" blog, that's cool. I hope it makes you happy.

And I hope that some people realize that making and decorating a blog, even if it's super "aesthetic," IS a way to express yourself. Art is self expression, fashion is self expression, music is self expression, even book covers can be self expression. It doesn't matter if it follows a color scheme, maybe that's just what you like and what feels right.

And using myself as an example because I'm sure I'm not the only one, I don't make my blog appearance for ANY of you. I'm sorry. It's for me, because it brings me comfort. I like having a pretty blog because it helps with my anxiety, I enjoy looking at it, and it feels more like mine. And also, there are so many blogs I have made that I find "aesthetic" that are on private. They could not be less for followers or status.

"It's just copying" (<- paraphrasing here.) No idea is original. Listen to me: no BOOK idea is entirely original. Every story has technically been done before in one way or another. Does that mean the author has no personality? Does that mean the author has no creativity or is just trying to seem cool? No. There is no such thing as an entirely original thing. But they we're expressing their talent and what they like to do. Let people have fun, let people do what they want.

This same argument can and does happen in the artist community, the writing community, and every other form of art. This is not a new argument, it's just a slightly different context. If this was applied intensely to everything, no one would participate in hobbies anymore.

I love everyone who doesn't have "aesthetic" blogs. I love everyone who does. And yes, some people with pretty blogs get followers more easily, but those followers have minds of their own. If they realise "hey, this person isn't actually all that great of an individual," then they'll unfollow them. A color scheme and some pngs don't earn love and forgiveness. It's all for enjoyment and fun.

Please do be yourself. But be yourself in whatever way works for YOU. At the end of the day, it really is just pixels. So the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. But take that again with the context of this post: the appearance of your things or how cool you seem DOESN'T matter. So do what you want.

I am very aware that this post is much less than perfect. There are definitely parts that I could've phrased differently, and things I could've added to convey the message better. But I hope you can understand what I was trying to say. Thank you for your time if you read this far, and if you have any comments or things you would like to add on to improve this, please let me know. And it's more than likely that I'm wrong about a lot of this, and this entire conversation is up to debate. If you disagree, then please discuss it publicly because I think this is an interesting debate and I would love to understand more than my biased stances allow me to right now. Again, thank you so much for your time. Have a lovely day. <3

[egg-emperor]

Speaking of Eggdad I don't remember which video it was but it had Ian discuss how family bonding between Eggman and Sage would be destroying villages and subjugating the inhabitants HAPPILY together. Eggman and Sage are new team dark if anything. In fact, if we got a new Sonic Heroes type game it'd be so awesome if we got a playable Eggman team featuring himself truly, Sage, and Metal Sonic.

Yeah every time Flynn has talked about Eggman and Sage that I'm aware of, it's not without him explaining how Eggman has messed up perception and conditions behind his embracement of the dynamic, or emphasizing that they're still very much evil together. It's cool that he doesn't seem to play into the hyper pure wholesome fanon idea because of how the fandom mass misinterpreted it and clearly prefer it that way, when he very well could. Goes to show that it really was never actually the written intention of their real dynamic in the games

Because it just reiterates what we already see to be the case in the game already, with Eggman's dynamic with Sage being anything but traditional and in fact very self-centred and conditional with just as selfish motives as ever, and Sage clearly being on Eggman's side of evil even after her developments by staying by his side as he laughed at Sonic's cyber corruption death and the way she says the world is his to conquer. She's still very much evil and her development is only likely to make her more so to please her father and attempt to bond with him

So the idea that closest to family bonding is through that instead of all the traditional things/at least with an original evil twist on them in the very rare occasion that they might be is great. Eggman wasn't the type to suddenly get into tons of traditional domestic family activities to please someone who was literally created to serve him, so Sage instead joining in on all the things he already enjoyed doing before she existed and her just being happy to be included makes way more sense. And it's way cooler to think about what fun diabolical things they can get up to together!

It's fun to think about how they work together in business and schemes and happily destroying villages and subjugating inhabitants. Also how Eggman could indulge in his love for theme parks with her, not by wholesome trips to Disneyland but showing how they really should be with Eggmanland, twisted and deadly dangerous thrills. Same with carnivals. And with his love for circuses, he kidnaps and showcases stolen animals like Circus Park. And he said he could turn Sonic and co into toys for Sage to play with in The murder of Sonic, teaching her that people are their playthings

It is pretty much his answer to a new Team Dark, though he prefers the name Team Eggman now, probably because he considers himself the founder and creator of the original Team Dark and feels it was highjacked with him being cast out and replaced by Omega so he wants to assert extra hard that it's his this time so it won't happen again, can't forget who it belongs to or replace him when he's in the name lol. And then he can show how much better he can be on a team with his own superior creations built in his image instead of with Shadow and Rouge!

While it's funny that he had Zavok on his Team Eggman last time, reflecting his cush and obsession with the guy lol, Eggman and his own creations makes the most sense long term. The best way for him to team up with anyone is if they're his own obedient creations that won't - or literally can't ever think of betraying him with the programming like Metal (for the most part!) or have the genuine enthusiasm like Sage and most of the "teamwork" is really mostly them serving him and him getting all the benefits and glory. Metal and Sage are the perfect fit

Also if going by team types again, they don't fit into the Heroes team structure as none fit Flight type much but certainly fit the Team Sonic Racing one. Sage Technique, Metal Sonic Speed, and Eggman could be Power class again like he really always should be and would've been again if Zavok hadn't stolen that spot in TSR! Eggman being the brains and the brawn when be wants to join the action and show off his physical strength, Sage also being brains and skill with her programme abilities and Metal being the speedy killing machine he's always been

Diabolical dream (nightmare?) team there! XD They could get up to some great evil together!

[orenji-iro-no-sora]

Thoughts on TGCF book 1.

Vol 1 | Vol 2| Vol 3| Vol 4| Vol 5| Vol 6| Vol 7| Vol 8

*Spoilers*

Xie Lian's crush

I finished the first book and at this point Xie Lian might as well be sighing, giggling, twirling his ponytail and kicking his legs. He is so charmed (I don't blame him). It's funny that literally in bottom of a deathly pit, he's worried that he's too comfortable in Hua Cheng's princess hold. MXTX protagonists really have the worst timings for gay epiphanies. (Does it count as an epiphany if you're still oblivious?)

Body in abyss, isolation, friendship, and reverence

While they did say that Xie Lian learned that when body is in abyss, the heart can't be in paradise, I think he still managed to find tiny moments of paradise with Hua Cheng. And isn't that life?

Xie Lian has been extremely lonely all this time which contributed to him being attached to San Lang quite quickly. Also, Hua Cheng's sincerity shines through even in a disguise so immaculately created. Xie Lian is smart and figure things out easily, he's able to perceive Hua Cheng for what he is, irrespective of what others say about who he was. Their friendship is something that he holds dear; he values Hua Cheng's company.

Him being able to tell that Hua Cheng is the only one who ever called him 'His Highness' out of genuine respect instead of sarcasm also shows how aware he is of other's harsh sentiments towards him.

However, I do believe that even though it may be idealistic to accept and focus on the positive, Xie Lian as deep as he has been in the abyss, carries a troubled heart. His desire to forget his own suffering, embarrassment at his own actions, even when they stem from right intentions is a proof that he sees himself as someone who failed at all levels.

Instinct to protect

This idea is brought up again and again but Xie Lian is helpless in his desire to save people. First, as the commander who "died" saving Banyue, facing demotions and ridicule yet trying to protect civilians at the border, protecting is his way of showing that he cares. And he cares... alot. He is instinctual in his love. He didn't need to protect San Lang (from the bite, from the pit) especially when he knew that he's Hua Cheng yet he acted before thinking. Someone who's as calm and collected as him falling to his knees, screaming from the edge of pit really demonstrates how much he care about San Lang (to the point of irrationality, atleast by his standards).

Saving the common people, parallels to morality in real life

While he acts embarrassed of his foolish (yet brave) dream of saving the common people, it's something he's still striving for. Despite feeling self conscious and disappointed that he could not live up to his words, despite his strong belief in his own misfortune, despite his poor self confidence and lack of support, despite still not knowing the answer to how to save people, he's still doing it. He's still brave.

Xie Lian is also a perfect example of how people who choose morality and ethics in life are often treated by the rest. MXTX often makes her characters pay the price of taking a moral stance. There's a strong culture of self serving in the Heavenly Realm, officials want to extend their influence and climb the ladder. They carry disdain for Xie Lian, thinking him naïve for wanting to do something fruitless and selfless like striving to save the world. Hua Cheng carries admiration for the exact same goals.

Heavenly Realm, to me, is a reflection of society, where people are worshipped for their accomplishments, elevated to a godly status for their fame and influence, even when they have acted mostly in self interest. Service to community is not desired, even laughed at. There's an acceptance for certain doom and no initiative to change it.

Banyue: symbolism for young adult cluelessness

When state preceptor Banyue asked Xie Lian how to save the people, he expressed remorse at his inability to answer her. Banyue feeling like she had been a failure because she hadn't figured out life in 200 hundred years is such a parallel to how it feels to be a young adult having no idea what you're supposed to do in life and slowly wasting away with the time passing gradually out of your control.

I always thought being an immortal would take away the pressure of time, but I guess nothing can save us from this commodifying mindset, trying to find value and reason for existence. Even ghosts want purpose. Even deities do.

Ambiguous conflicts and nuanced feelings through Nan Feng and Fu Yao

One of the things that I really liked was that both the major conflicts in the story, that of Xuan Ji and Banyue vs Central Plains, were ambiguous in terms culpability. Who's to blame? Every party involved was responsible and in case of the war helpless in their own need for survival. Another parallel to reality.

Similarly, Nan Feng and Fu Yao's feelings towards Xie Lian were also nuanced. They "volunteered" to help him but carried anger and resentment towards Xie Lian, towards themselves for not supporting him back then, admiring him but also condemning him at the same time. I'd love to see how it'll all play out, I'm sure Xie Lian knows who they are and I want to see how he'll deal with it all. Emotions are often nuanced and complicated, you can love someone but dislike them, you can fear someone and still crave them and this juxtaposition of complicated feelings is something I really enjoy in fiction (and hate in real life).

Stereotypes and expectations

Tremendous Masculinity. XD

It might be a gag, but it also shows that even deities do not wish to live up to any expectations people may have of them. Often what is believed is not rooted in reality at all, and heavenly officials are powerless and unable to control people's beliefs about them.

Worshippers' ideas about gods also contributed to Xianle's downfall. Xie Lian was not invincible, that was his crime. That's why, later Xie Lian constantly denied Puqi people that he cannot offer wealth or a wife or a child to anyone. He won't make promises he can't keep.

Hua Cheng's name

Finally, I'm not sure which idea I like better: Hua Cheng being his real name, destined and fated to seek and hold flowers, or Hua Cheng being his fake name that he chose to live for Xie Lian, that he chose to find meaning in him.

Either way, I'm looking forward to learning more about who he really is.

Final Note- Ruoye is so cute. It's a band but it's cute.

I am sure my ideas are bound to change as I proceed with the novels but for now I'd say the first book was really enjoyable, a good mix of horror and action and fun interactions. Onto the second one!! <3

[lemotmo]

The other side of their fandom coin. Some of them clearly do understand what's going on. Multiple questions again

Q. I have never been a part of a fandom that was called out directly by the head of a show. I'm very embarrassed to have followed so many of those blogs. And I think you're correct. I think we sunk our own ship.

Q. I feel very stupid after watching Tim's interview. I got so caught up in everyone screaming at me that Tommy was temporary and if we didn't demand more from the show we weren't going to get more of him. I never participated in the Oliver and Ryan hate but I'm very embarrassed today.

Q. I am filled with genuine embarrassment after watching that interview today. That did not sound like a man with any interest at all in continuing with a ship that he seems to believe brought so much meanness into his show. Although I did not personally participate in any of the hate comments being sent I did follow blogs that were actively participating in it. I had no idea it got bad enough to draw Tim's attention. I'm mortified.

A. People being excited over a new ship was never the problem. We have been waiting a long time for canon queer Buck or Eddie. People were bound to go overboard. The problem was how quickly some of those people completely lost all concept of reality, and demanded complete and total legacance to their new found toy. It was bizarre. I have spent more time than I care to admit trying to figure out what the hell happened, and the thing that happened was they believed they were actually friends with Lou. I sound like a broken record when it comes to the cameo videos, but they're one hundred percent the reason we are where we are today. I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he started doing them with good intentions. Fine. He realized he had amassed a little online fandom and he wanted to indulge in that attention for a bit. The problem was it became pretty clear fairly quickly that these were not structured interactions in any way, and he was just saying whatever popped into his head at the time. He lacks the ability to self edit and it became a problem almost immediately.

In his first couple of videos he gave out episode spoilers. He also told his 1200 viewers (yes that tiny viewing number sprouted all of the ugliness we are now seeing) that Tommy ended up with Buck because Ryan wasn't comfortable. Something he knew was bullshit. Whether he knew the actual reason or not he knew it had nothing to do with Ryan. The storyline was conceptualized, story boarded, at least partially written by that point, and approved for Eddie, meaning Ryan was fully aware and clearly on board. Then as the production date drew closer the actress who played Natalia, Buck's girlfriend, suddenly became unavailable, she got a part in a play. While the actress who played Marisol was still available. Tim and the show needed the Tommy plot for the larger plot his character was to be involved in so instead of scraping the mini plot they swapped Eddie for Buck. That's it, and Tim, thanks to Lou's video, had to confirm this. Lou never needed to add his made up version of events and it was alarming that he so casually did. What that video also did though was basically confirm Buddie. Because if the Tommy character was just about confirming queer Eddie it wouldn't have mattered that the actress playing Buck's girlfriend was the one who became unavailable. It should have had nothing at all to do with Buck. He did all of that in the first couple of videos. Tim and ABC should have pulled the plug right then. But at the time they were probably still in the 'all press is good press ' bubble and they looked the other way.

Then he started getting actual ship theories and basically told the fans who paid to submit them whatever it was they wanted him to say. Things went downhill rapidly from that point. He could have stopped it at any time. He could have filmed a simple Instagram video, Cameo video (since he liked the money part) or tweet saying things were getting out of hand and he would appreciate it if people would calm down a bit. Instead he upped the cost of buying a video. That was his response when they turned on Oliver, to increase the cost of talking to him. It was never about his 'fans'. He didn't give a shit about anything other than the fact that they were paying him. But they saw it as a genuine connection to him and everyone else became the enemy. Even when he ended any and all forms of communication, once he was no longer allowed to profit off of them, his little army blamed everyone else for bullying him. Which was crazy to see given what they were putting the cast, crew, and many fans through on a daily basis. You don't have to be embarrassed because you liked the ship, such as it was, but the behavior of many in your fandom should be embarrassing to you, so it's good that it's bothering you. That means you recognize the reality and can change how you choose to participate in it 💗

All right, another interesting post made by our anonymous OP. It gives us a nice timeline of where things started going wrong.

I'm sure that many of the more casual BT fans were just happily shipping their ship and didn't really know what was going on behind the scenes of those big BT blogs that spread the hatred.

It's a certain subset of the BT fandom that did this (and is still doing this). A group of big BT blogs that went too far. They bullied and threatened cast and crew. They posted Tim's DM messages to bludgeon other fans, as Tim put it. It's crazy behaviour to do all this over a damn TV-show. It's fictional people in a fictional world. But as soon as you bring this mess to real people in the real world? Yeah, you cross a line. And once you cross that line, there is no way back. Because in the real world actions have consequences.

Anyway, onwards to better I suppose. *crosses fingers*

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[dross-the-fish]

First of all I just really want to say I absolutely LOVE your art and specially the way you draw Erik, Leroux-Erik my beloved 😭💕

Ok ANYWAY. I saw your posts discussing about Erik and how the Phandom portray him and Raou, and I really want to point out some of my views (in the healthiest and most polite way possible!!!)

I'm not trying to deny Erik's flaws nor that I have an obvious bias since he's my favorite character ever AAAND Raoul is a character I dislike a LOT for multiple reasons lol but, I want to adress that: Erik is a person that endured multiple ways of abuse and humiliation in his life, since he was a child. He has multiple scenes of trauma response and, as you pointed out your post, acts impulsively many times and also shows clear remorse for his actions. What I think separates him from Raoul is (aside from the obvious class diference and the fact that Erik has a whole history of trauma and evidences of mental illness) the fact that Erik learns something from his selfish, self-destructive behaviour. He *had* a chance to end up with Christine if he didn't so shitty with her, and this is very impactful in the end specially because Leroux didn't treat him as a villain who deserved punishment, but as a traumatized AND completely abandoned person who fucked up pretty bad

Obviously, despite my personal beef with Raoul, I don't think he's some sort of abusive devil or any shit like that. I just think Christine would be better at her own. Forgetting Erik's flaws for a minute — Raoul *is* very manipulative, childish and uncaring towards Christine. He, unlike Erik, doesn't learn from his mistakes and presents the same behavior until the end of the story. Idk my girl Christine could be better at her own, single, following her career. The fact that Raoul was born in a rich family in the 19th century and didn't face any of the poberty or struggles that lower-classed people like Daroga, Erik and Christine had also make his character waaaay more difficult to like in my point of view. I'm NOT SAYING THAT "being rich makes you evil" (duh) nor that Erik's actions are ok, just to be clear! It just bothers me how so many people treat Raoul like a saint little puppy and Erik as a monster, like COME ON

Now, back to Erik: I'm not saying you intended to mean that, but I have a huge problem with how part of the Phandom thinks Erik had malicious intentions when approaching Christine, or that his feelings for her are fake. The "Erik knew precisely what he was doing since the start" really makes sense considering how his redemption arc went in the novel. Obviously this changes a lot in many adaptations (for example he's clearly much more self-aware and manipulative in the musical). But Leroux-Erik *genuinely* believed he was doing the right thing. Maybe he had an idea of "uuuugh maybe this is pretty bad maybe i should stop" but the self-destructive-fear-of-abandoment-everything-is-fine voice spoke louder. Let's not forget that what turned Erik into having such a violent mental breakdown was not "Christine doesn't love me and I must punish her" bullshit, it was when he heard her speaking not so many cool things about him and his appearance at his back (NOT BLAMING OR HATING HER, I love Christine, I'm talking about Erik's pov). If Erik didn't love Christine, or if he was a monster, he wouldn't feel any guilty for his actions. The most impactful thing in the ending of POTO is that Erik realized he had treated the woman he loved like trash and even still she showed him the compassion he needed

Ok ending this long ass text, I just wanted to state that I agree with a lot of your points specially how the Phandom tends to summarize everything to black and white even though most of the characters are all morally grey. I wanted people to stop dehumanizing a mentally ill abuse survivor like Erik while also stop hating on a poor woman who never asked to be put into Raoul's or Erik's bullshit lol thanks for having the patience to read, I'm really curious to know what your thoughts about this are 💕💕💕

I appreciate your courtesy, I understand where you are coming from but there are a few points i'm not sure I fully agree with. While it is fair to depict Erik as traumatized or mentally ill, I feel these are ultimately reasons for his behavior, not justifications. I agree that he is a sympathetic character and his story is a tragic one, I also agree that Erik had a great capacity for good under better circumstances. Leroux says "he had a heart that could hold empires but had to content himself with a cellar," or something to that effect and I believe that's true. But some of Erik's behavior cannot be written off as impulse or trauma response. He was still an assassin who built torture chambers and even when no longer in Persia he still had a torture chamber in his home that he made use of. He has enough agency that he can still be held responsible for all of the death and destruction he caused even as we acknowledge that he doesn't enjoy killing and feels remorse. How he deals with his remorse in particular is a bit of a sticking point for me. Erik's consistent ability to willfully "forget" what he does or completely deny the severity of his crimes is very likely a product of guilt but the presence of guilt is not a sign of virtue and after awhile it starts to feel like he is first and foremost dodging accountability. He never feels guilty enough to stop and prefers instead to alleviate his internal discomfort by emotionally distance himself from his actions. I also think it's important to acknowledge that Erik is a villainous character and he is violent with Christine. He does try terrorize her and coerce her into marrying him by threatening to kill her and everyone else. To be honest that's why I like his redemption, because he actually NEEDS to be redeemed. You can't redeem a character that never fell from grace. If we can't hold him accountable for his choices and acknowledge the full harm he did then his redemption is hollow. On the subject of Raoul, Leroux tends to write him as being kind of young and stupid and most of his boorish behavior the product of youthful impulse and the older I get the more I'm inclined to agree. This doesn't make Raoul right or even necessarily likeable but if we're giving Erik grace based on the author's sentiments towards the character we should probably give some to Raoul as well. Ultimately I feel Raoul redeems himself by proving he's willing to die for Christine. He throws himself into mortal peril to save her because he does love her. Yes, he has a lot of privilege compared to other characters and it certainly contributes to him coming off spoiled and bratty at times but at the end of the day he and Christine do love each other and he is who she chose. I'll admit I sometimes feel compelled to defend Raoul even if he's not remotely close to my favorite character just because the fandom tends to over inflate his flaws and hold him to the worst faith interpretation while making every excuse under the sun for Erik. The phandom will go to great lengths to see nuance and humanity in Erik's behavior but not in Raoul's and, while I have my own character preferences and Erik is certainly my favorite by a long shot, I try to be fair and empathetic to ALL the characters in the story, whether I actually like them or not.

[awakentheeldritchabomination]

First Random Writing Dump

CW: mentions of self harm and emotional abuse

As decreed by the poll, most of ya’ll seem fine with a little bit of word vomit, and since I have some time, I’m just gonna spew a bit of my thoughts on my version of Charlie so far. It won’t be much, just a jumbled list of rough ideas. I don’t know how set I am with these, but here goes:

- They may or may not be renamed

- They use they/them pronouns but don’t correct people who misgender them; they find gender to be an odd concept, and they can’t quite grasp why people care so much about it

- They know a lot about human history but have not personally interacted with many people beyond what is necessary (until later)

- Their capacity to empathize with the plight of humans comes from guilt, their mother, who is still going to be Lilith… maybe…., a horrific chance encounter, and their relationship with V (gotta pick a name for her lol)

- Still, growing up in a privileged position largely removed from the sinners’ reality while being surrounded by reminders that these people invited suffering through their own wickedness has given them this sense of innate superiority; they are semi-aware of the fact that their elitist mindset exists and is not…great…but they prefer to bury it under toxic positivity and pretend it’s not an issue

- They have been trained to fight (heaven and hell are still basically at war, after all), but they’ve never had a real battle, and they’ve certainly never killed anyone before; the weight of dealing death terrifies and paralyzes them

- They are aware of what they are, and they deeply fear what they are capable of

- They are not very well acquainted with their demonic form, and they’d rather not be; it’s often triggered by ugly feelings they don’t want to confront

- Yeah, they’ve got some things going on deep down. Beneath the sunshine and rainbows and genuinely good intentions, there’s this raw, wriggling darkness, gnawing on their insides like maggots; they don’t know why

- Spoilers: it’s the manipulation and emotional abuse Lucifer subjected them to as well as the resentment harbored against both parents for deciding to bring a child into a realm meant as an eternal torture chamber for evil people; they don’t consciously recognize the abuse they experienced because of strategic subtly, gaslighting, and isolation from other experiences. Both they and Lilith know something about Lucifer is off, and it creates this eerie, underlying fear that permeates every interaction, yet neither of them know how bad it actually is; Also Lilith likes to make excuses just like: “Oh, don’t be like that. He’s just doing whatever coz he loves you :)”

- Their warring sides will come to a head; the anger inside them will boil over, and they will be a terror

- Lucifer cuts them off after a falling out that occurs because of the hotel proposal; they will only be accepted back once they’ve “come to their senses”

- Charlie and Alastor have a weird relationship; they’ve got this yin-yang, mirrored image thing going on; they:

1. Are both biracial and are torn between different worlds

2. Have distanced themselves from one (their blackness. Yeah, Charlie is technically half black. But it’s a little more about their relation to the whole of humanity for them), but while one is actively trying to seek it out, the other has been conditioned to avoid it

3. Are performers (which will play a role in discussions of identity, y’know, what it means to perform an aspect of identity; what is whiteness vs blackness; queerness vs heteronormative ideals; how we generally define them and individually express them. But it’s also just “hey, we both like doing a thing. Oh, wow. Neat.”)

4. Have a volatile amount of anger that makes them violently lash out

5. Have strictly opposing yet similarly extreme moral principles

this will also be present in their designs (they have opposing coloration: blue vs red, white on black vs black on white, etc.); then there’s the wolf vs deer thing… I feel like I’d need a separate post to go through all that. I feel like this is already a lot lol

- They kinda feel conflicted about being friends with Al because he allows them to cut loose a bit and have fun, and they weirdly enough have a bit in common….but like…. dude ate people…..uhhhhhhh (does that make them a bad person if they like a literal murderer?), but then they think “I’m not supposed to judge. I’m supposed to help (and I’m totally fine….right….?). Meanwhile, V’s just like, “No, babe, please judge”

- They don’t like absolute silence, and they don’t like being alone; it allows their mind to wander into dangerous places; since Alastor is a literal radio that spits out music and static constantly, they sometimes just seek him out when their thoughts are too loud. Like, he just becomes a sentient noise machine for them basically

- Charlie’s got a habit of chewing on things when they’re nervous—pens, the inside of their cheek, their nails—coz dog (or….wolf….dragon….thingy); it’s usually harmless, but when they feel especially bad, they bite themselves (sometimes they bite the stuffing out of pillows as a substitute); when they start to more aggressively gnaw on their nails, V usually tries to guide their hand away

- They hide under the bed when they are feeling particularly miserable and anxious

There’s a lot more crap brewing, and I didn’t go into as much detail as I could have…. But I think that’s enough for maybe the week idk. If anyone’s at all curious, I might make another post about V or something.

Leave thoughts in the notes if you wanna!

[impercre]

Differences Between Book/ My Headcanons and Films Cheat Sheet

Duke Leto Atreides

He's much more of a bastard. Duke Leto is actively plotting to usurp the throne from Shaddam IV and hasn't married Jessica specifically in the hopes of marrying one of Shaddam's daughters.

Paul Muad'Dib Atriedes

Also so much more of a bastard. While he does have mixed feelings about it, ultimately he is consciously manipulating the Fremen to get what he wants which is revenge for his father's death and House Atreides back in power.

Thufir Hawat

Thufir is one of the most renowned and feared mentat-assassins in the Imperium who's served House Atreides for generations. After the Fall of House Atreides, Thufir is forced to join House Harkonnen where he takes the young Feyd-Rautha under his wing with the intent of using him to take his revenge on House Harkonnen.

House Harkonnen

So while the main cities on Giedi Prime are industrial nightmares with pollution/food rationing/ etc. The primary export is of Pilingitam wood, the trees growing to massive size and becoming as hard as steel when dried out.

Feyd Rautha

While I'm not going to pretend Feyd doesn't have issues, he does. He's probably one of the most self aware characters in the book. He's fully aware of how perverse the Baron is and actively wants to escape his control. He's also genuinely popular on Giedi Prime with many having more love and loyalty for him than they do his Uncle. I have taken the liberty of fleshing him out even more and developing the relationship with him and Thufir, with Thufir in some ways molding and guiding Feyd to be a more honorable ruler like the Atreides were. He also does care for his older brother, Rabban. He's aware Rabban is terrible even brutal governor of Arrakis but is equally aware his Uncle has maneuvered to force Rabban into that position. Rabban has also actively protected Feyd from their Uncle. As he himself wasn't so lucky avoiding his Uncle's s****l abuse.

The Fremen/Arrakis in General

So there isn't the divisions between Southern and Northern Fremen. The book treats the Fremen as fairly homogenous which is problematic in it's own right. I myself prefer to write it as every Fremen tribe having unique cultural practices. I am particularly fond of the idea of each Fremen tribe using slightly different techniques in how they produce Stilsuits and how they decorate them. In terms of religion- based on my understanding of the books the Fremen who live in the cities tend be the more skeptical of Fremen Religion with those being in the deep deserts being the more religious. Since the movie also glosses over this I think it's also important to point out in the book Paul inherits Jamis' household after killing him. In Fremen culture calling someone out means you will have to provide for that person's spouse, children etc. And is not to be taken lightly. Also I made up a whole tribe for my own shits and giggles X

Liet Kynes

So uh my Kynes is a man. He is also part Fremen through his mother and while he does help the Atreides he comes to regret it. He is also an important leader amongst the Fremen having united the Tribes in the hopes of changing the face of Arrakis to be more hospitable and be under Fremen control. He's also Chani's father.

Chani

Like in the book Chani is a Sayyadina, a Fremen Priestess. She's not against Paul as a religious figure, she does initially believe he is the Lisan Al-Gaib but also comes to believe he doesn't fully understand her culture and needs to be protected.

Kaleff

Kaleff is Jamis' stepson. I've headcanoned it that Kaleff sees Jamis as his father as his birth father wasn't a good man. I have aged him up from what he was in the book so he's roughly the same as Paul but decides against calling him out coming to respect Paul as a friend and leader even if like his father he's a religious skeptic. But falls in line with Paul because he has no love for some of the current Fremen social norms or most off-worlders.

[little-de-vil]

19, 20, & 22 for dealers choice!

Babe, this took me so long so I really hope you like it!🥺🥺🥺

From this ask game:

19. How do they silently/subtly express their love for each other? I’ll be talking about both The Happy Couple (Celeste and Vance) and 27 (Madon and Lathe Sheraton) I have a thing to S last names, I guess, his partner from 7. I wanted to differentiate they way each couple expresses their physical love not just because they are their own couple, but because of their circumstances and the way they move about the world. For Celeste and Vance, I wanted their relationship to be around consent. When Celeste first saw Vance after he won, she asked if she could take his hand; from then on, I realized that their love comes from consent and autonomy, especially with Vance! To quote my girlfriend 3 times when I first told her this: “like the idea of acknowledging that u will never fully know another person’s comfort levels within a specific moment is so real! and genuine and humble!!!!” / “and Lest asking that question is such a lovely question bc it’s telling the other person: i have your best intentions in mind and this is not a solely self-serving, righteous act i’m going to do by offering comfort. and acknowledging that they’re going to do what’s best for the other person.” / “BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCEEEEE (of consent). AND NEVER MAKE IT SEEM LIKE A HASSLE. ITS HOW THEY SHOW LOVE!!!” I really just wanted them to be open about how and when they are confutable with showing their love. As for 27, they are the opposite side of the spectrum depending on their location! If they’re in 7, they are not as open with their physical affection because they don’t really need to be, they don’t have to prove their love. Not to say that the Happy Couple needs to prove theirs, but it’s different for the boys. They aren’t watched the same way they are if they had met in the Capitol, it’s honest, not voyeristic. They’re usually apart, not physically close, but they treasure quiet moments together, whether it be working side by side at Lathe’s family shop or just in the woods, a few yards apart, taking in the beauty. But when they’re in the Capitol it’s a whole different ball game! They are not overly affectionate, but they can seem to overcompensate their love by being very physical.  Wren is so antithetical to his parents love. He's so aware of him and his partners body and how their love is so open and unasked; so fully known by both parties. To once again quote my girlfriend, “at some stage in a relationship, there’s blanket consent. like u don’t have to ask ur partner every time if u can kiss them bc it’s implied yes :’).”

20. What clothes/accessories do they steal from each other? This has been so hard for me to answer because I’m so not silly/goofy about my OCs, I take this very seriously & this is such a cute silly/goofy question lol. But if I really had to think about it, I would say Lathe usually steals Wren’s fancy jewelry in the Capitol, which he doesn’t really care about EXCEPT FOR HIS EARRINGS, DON’T TOUCH THOSE! Madon tends to take Lathe’s flannels so much so that Lathe’s grandmother stitches Madon’s name onto one of his to designate it as his own. His old Peacekeeping buddies there joke around that he looks more like a tradesman than an army grunt, but then again he’s never been one for uniforms.

22. How do they apologize after arguments? This is usually the case for the Happy Couple, after lots of separation to process not only the argument but their response, they tend to come together and just talk. A lot of their relationship is based on communication and honesty, and because they are both two people with vasts knowledge and experiences of truly horrific things, they know it’s best of not hold that all in. So, they talk over a few drinks and maybe a cigar when the kids are asleep, sometimes late at night walking around the gardens.

[hoppipolla]

Love doesn’t make you blind, it makes you selfish and desperate. 

Yoojae is a very easy character to despise for he only appears as someone selfish and self-centred. But he is not. How do I know? Because a soul as thoughtful and kind as Hanjoon wouldn’t be friends with someone like that. 

There is one simple fact that the recent episodes might have made us forget about: out of everyone — and yes I do include us viewers —, Yoojae is the one who knows Hanjoon best. 

He knew that gifting him a laptop was a bad idea but he couldn’t bear the thought that someone else might have bought one for him if he hadn’t beaten them to it. 

HJ: You know I wouldn’t like it. Why did you spend so much money on it?

Beyond hating that very idea, he felt distressed. Why did it not cross his mind that Hanjoon might not have his own laptop? How come a senior who barely knows him knew about that even when he didn’t? As @ueasking accurately pointed out in their post comparing the drama with the novel it originates from, money — or the lack of —  is a leitmotif in Star Struck. Yoojae knew that Hanjoon would not like receiving such an expensive gift but it breaks Yoojae’s heart knowing that Hanjoon will always struggle to properly study if he doesn’t have a laptop; hence the fact he still bought him one. It was an insensitive thing to do but he couldn’t help it. Yoojae wants to take care of him and lift the weight he carries on his shoulders. He wants to be a shoulder on which he can always lean on. He doesn’t want Hanjoon to rely on anyone else. But Hanjoon doesn’t want to rely on him, not like that anyway. Taken out of context, it could be perceived as a toxic behaviour but it’s not. Yoojae cares immensely for Hanjoon and he wants to help him the best he can. His intentions are genuine but his actions always fail to make them clear.  

I’m not excusing Yoojae’s behaviour though. Yoojae is indeed being selfish but what’s worse is that he is painfully aware of how much of an ass he’s being to Hanjoon. He hates himself for it but he doesn’t see any other way. Him throwing the chocolates in Hanjoon’s bin in front of him was useless and hurtful. He did so because he wanted to make sure that they could go back to how they used to be. As if throwing out the chocolates once and for all would make them forget that night in front of Hanjoon’s house. 

If I could, I’d add an audio file to this text post with only the dialogue of this scene, the one before the time jump (i.e the chocolate box disaster scene). 

Both actors did a brilliant job and their micro-expressions wonderfully reflected the inner turmoil both characters were going through. However, what absolutely shattered my heart is the fluctuation in Yoojae’s voice. The way his voice quavered and broke as Hanjoon’s words sank in. 

He was taken aback by his confession and so he let his anger speak in his place because he was on the defensive. He thought Hanjoon was emotionally blackmailing him (see @ueasking’s post for more details) and he couldn’t believe that he was about to lose his best friend. Because they had made plans for their college life together. Because although his future was not yet all planned out, Hanjoon was always a part of it. Always was and always would.  

So yes Yoojae acts immaturely, reacts in the worst possible ways, and doesn’t take into account Hanjoon’s feelings but it paradoxically shows how much he loves him. You have every right to think he is in the wrong for that but this isn’t the point.

I can’t even begin to imagine how much pain he had to go through while waiting for Hanjoon’s call which never came. Hanjoon was his safe place and he lost it the moment Hanjoon disappeared from his life. Strangely enough, he doesn’t resent him for it because he understands why Hanjoon did that. (Again, I adore Hanjoon so I’m not blaming him for disappearing. I’m not here to blame anyone anyway.) That’s why Yoojae greeted him with such a warm gaze and a genuine smile in the bar scene (ep 5). 

Hanjoon leaving left a void in Yoojae’s heart so deep that it scared him. Now that Hanjoon is back in his life, he’d do anything to make him stay. 

Yoojae tends to act on a whim and he doesn’t over-analyse his feelings. The moment Hanjoon agreed to be his friend again was all he ever wanted and so he stifled the confusing emotions that had aroused when Hanjoon confessed. However when he realised that they could never go back to their old-selves, a wave of panic washed over him (which explains his excessive drinking in ep 6). 

The cafe scene during which he acts like a child who wants Hanjoon’s undivided attention is proof that both Hanjoon and him won’t ever be able to go back to just being friends. What led him to get drunk is that precise realisation. Parts of him must have anticipated the fact that Hanjoon would (or might) act differently but he didn't expect himself to be so on edge. The old Yoojae would not have reacted so strongly to Hanjoon’s being flirted with by a girl. When Hanjoon told him he loved him, it acted as a self-epiphany but this epiphany happened too soon. Yoojae wasn’t ready and Hanjoon needed to protect himself. Both hearts were broken that night although one expected it whereas the other didn’t. 

The embodiment of Yoojae’s desperation was that scene near the end of ep 6. 

So. Much. Subtext. It might be silly but although this scene has no dialogues, I can hear Yoojae’s every thought. His plea to make Hanjoon stay. His silent cry telling him to not run away. But Hanjoon breaks free from his grasp and Yoojae knows there is no going back. Hanjoon won’t indulge him anymore. 

Truth be told, I didn’t want Yoojae to lean in for a kiss after Hanjoon told him to let him go (both literally and figuratively). Because he did so not because he was ready but because he was terrified of losing Hanjoon again. 

Next week eps are going to be intense. I’m so scared to see Hanjoon’s reaction. The dialogue in the playground highlights yet again how absolutely amazing he is. The fact that he told Yoojae that his feelings for him are still very much alive and that staying close to him is agonising requires outstanding courage and says a lot about his character. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Hanjoon is such a beautiful and brave soul. The way he is always so thoughtful, attentive, and kind to the people around him is everything to me. Even when he was shocked to see Yoojae once again after 5 months of not talking to him, he still found the emotional strength to try to soothe the girl crying next to him in the bar. 

The fact that he kept on reliving the chocolates disaster scene for 5 months straight is just heart-wrenching. Knowing how thoughtful he is, I’m sure he felt guilty for not contacting Yoojae. 

Although Star Struck abides by the BL genre conventions and uses some classic tropes, the well-written and raw dialogues and the detailed acting make it stand out and highlight how complex the human condition is especially when it comes to the most irrational of emotions: love. 

Part 2