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dark-night-hero · 2 years

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「Love You In The Dark」 Kamisato Ayato

↳ In which the more you continue to love him in the dark the more you felt like not only were you breaking your heart, but also his.

It was a wonderful night. It was also a night before a wonderful celebration. And yet here you are due to some reasons resting at the back of the estate now that all tasks are done. Just a few moments ago, you were also doing packing your things. Looking at the stars, a smokin pipe in hand, you're leaning peaceful on the walls of the estate. But then that peaceful night was interrupted with a sound of light footsteps coming.

Alerted, you turn to look at the person only to relax. "My Lord." "I told you to call me Ayato when it's just the two of us- you're smoking." "Do you want some?" You offered in which he shakes his head. You just nod and continue to smoke for the last time as he slowly approaches you. "All the preparations were done for tomorrow's ceremony." "I've heard." "Then you should be asleep right now." "If I do, then I'll be regretting this in the morning." "I doubt that." You chuckle, putting out the flame and placing your smoking pipe down. There was a moment of silence after that.

"I would drop everything if you want me to." "I know. That's why I'm not asking for anything." Looking away from the stars, you look at him only to find him looking at you. So you look away, a small yet genuine smile on your face. "Do you hate me?" "I wish I could." You chuckle, "But what can we do?" You look at him once again. "It's not like I'm the one who's hurting." You reach out to brush off the silent tear on his cheek. "Don't cry, Ayato." "But you're leaving." "You're getting married." You caress his cheek affectionately. "I'm not asking for anything else, am I?" "I'd rather ask you to give up that damn marriage." "Hmmm, I wish I could."

"(First name)?" It was a familiar yet unfamiliar voice. You are pretty sure you have heard it somewhere. No, you were pretty sure you knew who was calling you, yet you didn't dare turn around. "(First name)." This time, you felt a gentle hold on your arm, causing you to shut your eye for a moment before turning around to face him.

As soon as you turn around, just like what you have expected, there he was, and for some odd reasons, seems flustered as he hold you by your arm, slightly panting as he look at you wide eyes as if he could not believe you are actually in front of him right now. "It's really you." "Mr. Kamisato, it's been a while." You smile gently at him, taking a step back, causing him to loosen his hold into you.

The was he reach out, nevertheless retracted his hand as he stared at it for a while before clenching and unclenching it then bringing it to his side before putting his attention into you. "Right, it's been a while. I've been looking for you." "All the way to Liyue?" You spoke before shutting up. That was wrong. In the first place, you should have just ignored him and went as fast as you can. "Mr. Kamisato, what are you even doing here? Never mind that I should get going now, Mr. Kamisato."

As you turn around and was about to leave, you feel a thug on your clothes. "Wait." Don't, leave him be. So you took a step forward, but he didn't let go. "Please wait-" "Let go while I'm asking nicely, Mr. Kamisato" You spoke with a sigh, heart painful throbbing on your chest. You should leave, leave, and never look back. You've done it once. You can do it again.

As you took a step forward, the moment you took a forceful step forward, you heard a sniff. Don't turn around. Another step followed by another sniff that you can feel your heart breaking a bit by bit. Here you thought it already shattered enough that day. "(First name), please. I- I was wrong." Don't turn around. "Please, hear me out." Don't turn around. Archons, don't. "Darling, please." Fuck! Don't turn around. You've done it once, why can't you do it again this time?

"Fuck!" You curse under your breath and turn around. "Why are you looking so pathetic crying in the middle of the street? Where is your dignity?!" You spoke as you grab him by his arm and started heading towards the direction of your house. "Those who knows you would be laughing, crying to see you in such pathetic state, you, the one and only Lord of the Kamisato clan!" You can not help your temper. He looks like he has not gone to sleep for years.

As soon as the two of you entered the house, you urged him for a bath. The thing is, you end up giving him a bath just like the good old days you never thought you would do again. "Don't cry." As he sits on the tub, he weakly reaches out to wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks. "I hate seeing you cry." "Fuck you." You sniff and glare at him. "You- you should be in there living a happy- if not happy at least a contented and peaceful life. What in the fuck are you doing in here." You cried as you gently rinse off the shampoo in his hair.

"I let you go already, why are you here- fuck. What the fuck are you doing in here?" "I- I came to get you back." "I'm not going." "I didn't marry her." You almost splash him with a water in the face. "What do you mean?" "I called of the arrange marriage." He had a small smile on his face after that.

"I was wrong. If I truly love you, I should have never allow you to make such choice- there should have never been a choice to begin him." He look so tired when he said that, brushing back his wet strand of hair away from his face. "My lover is selfless" He added. "You told me to live a happy, if not a contented and peaceful life." When he looks at you, you look away but then a hand gently had you face him. "Darling. I can only achieve that life when you're by my side. I was wrong to realize it too late." Then you let out a sob. "I'm sorry. I really am. But please, please I'm begging you (First name). Come back to me."

The way you sob, it hurts. At the same time, was it relief that you are feeling right now? But then there comes the guilt. "I- we- let's get you dried up, Mr. Kamisato." "(First name)-" "Not now, let's get you dried up and clothed first." You spoke as calmly as possible as you stood up and wipe away your own tears. "Darling- please- I know you can't-" "Ayato." You look at him, "Dry up and dress up, I'm going to introduce you to someone."

The way he cautiously and nervously looks at you, who is currently helping him put on a new set of clothes. It seems like it was the clothes the locals here wear. But the thing is, why do you have spare clothes of man on your house? "One of the locals gave it to me." You suddenly explained, "They assumed I have a husband, so they just gave me this. I never thought it could be put to use until now." Suddenly, relief came into him, releasing the breath he's been holding on unconsciously.

"Come here." He had no choice but to follow you as you gently hold him by the hand, it was warm. "Who I'm about to introduce you, I'm sorry." "What-?"

The way his eyes widen as soon as his eyes set on the sleeping figure on the room just right next to you. He took a step back, his heart beating wildly on his chest, he looks like he was about to snap his neck the way he turn his head into you. "Is he?" His light purple iris were trembling as they looked into your (eye color) ones. You did not dare look away from him, not like you can as those teary eyes look into you with hope.

You wonder what he could be feeling right now. Pain? Happiness? Betrayal? Sadness? Before you could even think further, you watch in shock as he kneels in front of you, hands shaking as they hold into your clothes. "Please. I'm begging you. He's mine, right?" The way those bloodshot light purple iris looks at you. Those eyes were telling you, were begging you, even if it's a lie to tell him that the child peacefully sleeping on the bed was his.

"He's mine right? Please tell me he's mine." He looked desperate, he was desperate. He was begging on his knees. "Please say something." He begged, clenching on your clothes he was holding on. Then tears started falling, you don't know if it was his or yours. But then you nod, not trusting your voice. "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hide- hide it from you. I was just-" "I shouldn't have let you leave." In a split of seconds, you were in his arms.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I'm sorry." He repeatedly apologized as he held you tightly yet gently in his arms. "I'm sorry you had to leave and continue to love me in the dark." "And thank you." You felt him shake. "Thank you, fuck. Thank you." You just stood there, in your own tears as he held you in his arms. But then you slowly lifted your arms, and then you placed it on his back. "It's alright." As you gently tap his back in comfort, the more his shoulder quiver, the more you felt him hold you tighter, but, "It's alright."

It was an eventful night full of tears and revelation, almost like that night all those years ago, and yet for some odd reasons, it felt so different. For some reason, you no longer felt like it would be like the old times where the two of you have to love each other in the dark.

"Will it be alright for me to come back?" By your question, it made him scoff, gently shifting the child in his arms as the two of you look at the horizon as the two, three of you headed back in the nation the two of you belonged. "It's always been your home. Isn't it natural to come back where you belong?" "Still, the two of us-" "They know." "Huh?" "Would you believe me if I told you we were never in the dark?" For a moment, your (eye color) iris tremble.

"As funny as it may sound, everybody knows, can see how we felt for each other. That's why by the time I back down at the arranged marriage, they didn't find it strange." There was a small smile on his lips. "Would you believe me if I said Ayaka almost beaten me to death upon hearing your departure?" There was sad smile on his lips, but then he look down on his and your child in his arms.

"I'm sorry" "I told you it's alright-" "But it's not." He looks at you gently. "No matter what you say, time wasted is time wasted. I'm going to win you back no matter what you said." You blink at him. "What's the point of winning me again over when I was never over you?" This time, he blinks at you. "Is that so?" "Hmm." You hummed before the two of you let out a burst of laughter.

Suddenly, a harsh cold breeze passed by sending a shiver down your spine, as well as the child in Ayato's arms. "Let's head inside?" He asked, holding you close with his free hand before giving you a peck on your forehead. "Let's head inside." You replied as you started to make your way inside when you felt a thug on your clothes. It strangely felt deja vu.

It was strange at the same time it made you realize that, in fact, this was no longer a situation where you have to carry on things even though you are not fine. Nor were the two of you in a situation where you have to keep your love in the dark. This was no longer a situation where even without a fight, the two of you were placed in a situation where the two of you had to be defeated.

"What's wrong?" "I love you." It was strange but warm. "I don't think I ever said it openly and this loud before." The way he stood there with your and his child in his arms, the way he was rubbing his neck in flustered. You chuckle, "I love you too."

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