#but i cant post here cause no one gives a fuck but MEEEEEE

[prettyboykatsuki]

im gonna answer some more asks and then log off a bit so i can write for john marston on my other blog fddfjjdkgfdbjhbdffdg

[slut-4-beetlejuice]

I would love some BJ fluff where the reader is a super romantic and sweet person (with a cold and sarcastic exterior) and he’s trying to figure out how to ask her out but he’s not gray and romance and gets the deetz and maitlands to help out

(hey, annon? thank you. i love this request!)

“Ah, sweet Satan I want them to punch me in the face”

That was Beetlejuice’s first thought when he first saw you. You we’re Lydias cousin and had recently moved into the Deetz home. They lived closer to the college you we’re attending, and agreed to let you move in for the time being to avoid having to pay for a dorm. You couldn’t lie, you we’re pretty stoked! Lydia had always been like a little sister to you, and the Deetz had welcomed you with opened arms. It was like it had always been your home.

For the first month or so, Beetlejuice was forced to watch you from afar. Lydia refused to introduce you two because God slash Satan forbid, he scare you away. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t into you though. you seemed like one of those tough as nails types. You wore a leather jacket and had a resting bitch face. He once saw you punch a Jehovah’s witness in the face for telling Lydia her mom was in hell. It was awesome.

But, the more he watched you, the more he stared to notice little things. Like how you would watch those sappy romance movies alone in your room and always cry at the ending. How you had one of the most impressive stuffed animal collections he had ever seen, and how valentine’s day was one of your favorite holidays because you “just liked the concept of love”

He realized that he may have had a crush on you. just maybe. But, it was confirmed after he finally got to meet you. you didn’t even flinch. It wasn’t everyday he found someone that could go toe to toe with him in flirting, and it caught him off guard. In a good way.

“hey Sexy. About time we finally got to meet.” He purred. You smirked, “I agree. I cant believe Lydia would keep such a handsome devil from me.” “I’m more than just a devil baby. I’m the ghost with the most.” “oh, are you now? You might have to show me sometime.” You smirked, walking away.

BJ was fucking smitten, and Lydia was regretting her life choices.

As Beetlejuice started to worm his way into your group, he started to notice more of the little things about you. Like the way your eyes lit up the room when you laughed, how infectious your smile was, and how you told a store with your whole body. It was the little things like that that got to him. You could just smile at him the right way and he’d go wild. It he had a heartbeat, it would go wild when you we’re near. Fuck, he was in love. And he had to admit to himself he was in love, and he had to do something about it. He had to ask you out. But there was a problem. How do you ask out a punk with a heart of gold? Which side do you appeal to?

Time to ask the experts.

“Adam, Barbara, I need your help.” Beetlejuice announced as he entered the attic. Adam sighed, “please, please tell me you didn’t put another racoon in the dishwasher.” “what? No, I told you that was a one time thing.” Beej mumbled. “then why did you do it twice?” Barbara questioned. “because the first time was a test run! Look guys, I need you’re help, it’s about y/n.” he pleaded.

Adam looked worried. “Beej, whatever you’re planning leave them out of it. They’re a nice person, and they don’t need to be caught up in some crazy scheme.” Adam said. Beetlejuice shook his head. “no, it’s not like that…it’s..welll..ugh.:” “you love them.” Barbara observed. “no, I don’t want to prank them, I wanna- wait did you just call me out? You knew I liked them?! Why didn’t you tell me?!” he could have been saved from so many sleepless night if she had just told him how he felt before.

Barbara shrug. “you had to figure it out yourself.” “ok, but how did you know he loved them?” Adam questioned. Barbara shrugged, “it’s an intuition thing. It’s the way he looks at them. The way he acts around them, his body language, ya know?” “well, could ya tell me how to ask them out, cause I got no fucking clue.” Beetlejuice sighed. “oh Beej, you’re thinking too hard about it.” Barbara smiled, “Y/N isn’t some enigma, just be straight forward and honest. Tell them how you feel and see if they feel the same way. Y/N is the kind of person that would apricate the honesty.” Adam nodded and agreed. “yea, Y/N wouldn’t like the emotional games. Like, they’re an emotional person, but that’s why they wouldn’t want you to beat around the bush. Then no feeling accidentally get hurt, and you both know where you stand without having to question your sanity.” Adam assured him. “bonus points for a romantic gesture.” Barba pointed at him and agreed. “mm, good point, y/n would like something cute and cheesy.” “cute and cheesy? Like what?” Beetlejuice questioned.

Adams eyes lit up. “stand outside their window with a boom box and play “I wanna know what love is” by foreigner! When they come down to see what all the rucks is, give them a rose and ask them to be yours. Its how I asked out Barbara!” he grinned, happy to give advice. “that’s genius.” BJ laughed, “no it’s not!” Barbara chimed it, “its way too cheesy! This isn’t the 80s or a movie, you can’t just do that. You’d be better off giving them a stuffed animal. You want slight cheesy, not double cheese.” “but its so genius.” “don’t do that Beej, its what’s the words the kids are saying these days? Cringy? Cringy. Its cringy Beej, promise me you won’t do that.” “but-“ “promise.” “fine. I promise I wont do that,” BJ sighed.

 ……………………………………………………………….

You yawned as you changed into your Pjs, ready for bed. It had been a long day, and you we’re ready to just crash out for a week. You went over and opened the second story window, smiling at the cool air. You went over to your bed and curled up under your warm covers. You we’re almost asleep when you heard a familiar song drifting into your room. You could have sworn you heard it before, but what was it?

You got up and went over to your window to figure out what it was, looked out the window and oh my god what was he doing?

Beetlejuice stood outside your window, holding a boom box high above his head as “I wanna know what love is” blasted out to you, and he sang every word with all of his soul. He looked like something out of the 80s, right down to the stiped denim jacket and sunglasses at night. Say what you want, he committed to the bit.

“I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE ISSSSS!! I WANT YOU TO SHOW MEEEE!!! I WANNA FEEL WHAT LOVE ISSSSSS!!!! I KNOW YOU CAN SHOW MEEEEEE!!!”

The poor neighbors.

“BJ! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”

“SEDUCING YOU!”

“WHAT?!”

“COME DOWN HERE!”

“NO! IT’S COLD OUT THERE!”

“FINE! THEN I’M COMING UP TO YOU!” he yelled up at you. He rested the boom box on his shoulder and started to float up to you. No way this was real. He smiled softly as he saw you. “Y/N, I like you. I like, really really like you. a lot. I might even love you. I think it’s love? I don’t know. I don’t know what love is to be honest. But, I want to. And I want you to show me.” He said sheepishly, producing a dead blackened rose from his pocket and handing it to you. “so…will you be mine?” he asked.

You felt like you had to be dreaming. This was crazy. But you couldn’t help but smile as you took the rose from him. “oh my god BJ!” you laughed, making room for him to enter your room and closing the window. “but, you know, you didn’t have to do all this. If you really wanted to be extra, you could have bought me a stuffed animal or something.” BJ feigned surprise. “See! I tried to tell Barb that, but she insisted this was the way to go!” he said, barely holding back the grin in his lie. You laughed and went and sat next to him on the bed, leaning into him. “I’m so sure” you giggled, leaning into your demon. “so is that a yes?” he asked. “hmm?” “to you being mine? I mean, you let me into your room, and we’re kinda cuddling right now, so, will you go out with me?” you laughed. “I mean, I gueeessss” you teased kissing his cheek. He blushed as pink threaded it’s way through his hair. “awesome.” He laughed.

Who knew asking out the punk with a heart of gold would be so easy?”

 (hey guys! This is my second time writing this, so, lets hope it actually posts this time. Nevertheless, I still had a lot of fun writing it. Fun fact, a Jehovah witness actually told me my dead mom was in hell for not accepting Jehovah once, so writing him getting the punched in the face was so cathartic and self-indulgent. I really like it and I hope you guys too! As always, constructive criticism is always welcomed, and let me know what you think!!)

[patchdotexe]

Multiples of 4!!

oh no we have to do MATH It’s. Really not that hard. shut up ill do it skipping those we’ve already answered, by the way!

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yes. by a lot. H-A-M-A-D-A… uhhhh oh it’s exactly 6! that’s cool. I… don’t know my last name? So I guess same as Hiro’s. 4 letters! R-I-D-E. mathonwy, so. longer, yeah

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

mmm. too many. can we get a fricking, new partner just so these questions arent so angsty i kissed trust A LOT !!!!! that works

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in bed! with my mom. we share a bed. like we still have our sleeping bag in case we need it? but mom let us share her bed

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

That’s… weirdly specific. i dunno guys, have we? i used to football! Well. Does it mean American or Everywhere Else? i used to everywhere else football! alright lets all kiss mae HOORAY

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

[shouts from across headspace] YES

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

[singing] whyd ya have to go and make things so complicaateeeed In personality… Yes? I take care of people. I just want my friends to have a good time. what the fuck is a stable sense of identity tho ( MEEEEEE)

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

aw man this is totally a romance one. we sort of dont … like anybody that way, right now. I DOOOOOO [tackles trust] HGHDFGDHZ guys thats not an answer i like trust cause. he was there for me w hen things were really really shit? and even when he, wasnt there for me, it was because he was worried id get hurt more if he was. and i HATE HOW HES SO DUMB AND SACRIFICES HIMSELF A LOT jesus shit trust most of your kins do that shit too. hes a gay baby. i love him Wow, thanks.

44. Does anyone disgust you?

HAHA I FUCKIN WONDER maybe we should stop bein salty about magpie for a bit? NAH

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

uh. black. thats MY shirt, you asshole! inspace i aaaaam wearing… uh. yeah im still wearing the shirt idrew myself in. did i actually post that? fuck i dont remember red! i didn’t bring a change of clothes. WHICH IS WHY IM UPSET ABOUT LOSING MY PANTS. HINT. it was an accident ): Green. im straight up naked right now YOU’RE COVERED IN FUR, DON’T GIVE T HEM THE WRONG IMPRESSION i can stop being covered in fur if yall want? DONT DO THT

[scrolls past “anyone youre giving up on”, trust starts laughing]

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

OH MY GOD? WAIT ARE YOU SURE YOU GRABBED THE RIGHT ONE YEAH????? [LOSING IT] do we even need to answer this with trust here [on floor]

56. Do you like to cuddle?

shit yes please pet me meet me in the CUDDLE PIT [wheezing] don’t touch me 8| or well. unless you’re my friend. which all of you are. still not a fan of uh, prolonged contact though? hugs are okay, being held onto for a while is unnerving

60. What do you carry with you at all times? 

[impulsively] my ass I’D. HOPE SO?????? I still have my Evoker, actually. I haven’t had to use it in a long time, but I keep it with me just in case. we always have our phone on us ngl.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? 

[smooches trust] :D i literally cant remember who i have a crush on, guys bandetto? THAT WAS YE A R S A G O OOOOOOOO

oh my god how long IS this very?

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?  

NEITHER, GOD, NO, leopard print? i guess? im disowning you

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

guys was it pizza hut or dominos that had the valentines day promotion idfk my dude its been a long time either way.

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

we kept hearing about it but we dont know a single thing so, no [nasally voice] do you want anime? nooooooooo MAE YOU TYPOED IT AS “WANT ANIME”, I SAID “WATCH” MAYBE I WANT SOME ANIME RIGHT NOW!!!!!

80. Are you from the south?    

im really glad we changed up the formatting, guys we’ve always been up north. we’re miswe… mid… leo help midwesterners. pat i dunno how you kept fucking that up so bad

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?  

we’re in like. no condition to do any of that. i parkoured?

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

i dunno guys, IS our phone touch the screen? imagine how is touch the screen knock it off. yes.

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

ew, no? mae, even counting system stuff? [annoyed noises] okay, maybe once

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

haha oh man, that would’ve been at ms rose’s house… wow. :,) so like. maybe a decade ago. GUYS WE’RE TWO DECADES OLD WHAT THE FUCK

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?     

probably? not even abt magpie ths time, we just have a lot of people on facebook but we don’t even use it

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

[magnus voice] pard’nr NY’ALL that sounds like something id’ look cute in actually? NY’ALL stop