#but i can't help but get pissed off anyway
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finally watched bnha s6e11 am grinding my teeth so hard at best jeanist's reappearance it'll be a miracle if i still have enamel on them afterwards
#could the plane not have crashed. could he not have gotten eaten by a shark on the island he was sent off to or whatever (was he sent to#an island? idc)#i like that the show is aiming for us to feel devastated you know with all the shots at shouto endeavor the todorokis deku and random#civilian's faces plus the music and shit#and i did feel dread at dabi's dance it was effective and great#but literally i am on dabi's side!! listening to him talk on the battlefield and on tv i am hearing nothing but the truth!!!!!!#abt endeavor and hawks and shit!!! the only thing he got wrong is best jeanist and that's literally bc of hawks lying not dabi lying#i'm gonna keep watching and reading bnha whenever there's a cool or big dabi moment don't get me wrong#and i know that it'll eventually end w a hero victory in both the war arc and probably overall#but i can't help but get pissed off anyway#the villains are right!!!!#so what if they killed ppl? like the government and heroes haven't?#i need a shounen anime/manga where the revolutionary villains actually win#bnha#mecore
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i have... ✨Danyal Al Ghul Headcanons✨ but specifically for my yaelokre danyal oneshot
There's also the tumblr post here but I recommend the link in the title because its the ao3 version, and that one is edited and has some stuff in it that's not in the tumblr post, and will be the version I'm using.
So for summary: this Danyal is also from a Demon Siblings Au where Danny is five years older than Damian. However, things turned out a bit differently, and Danny and Damian had a fantastic relationship with one another. Danny loved music and regularly came up with songs to sing to Damian with. Specifically the folk band Yaelokre's EP "Hayfields" (seriously go fucking listen to it its sooo good. Harpy Hare is the second song but its my favorite. Special shoutout to @gascansposts for introducing the band to me)
He falls off a train when he's twelve and Damian is seven while the two of them and Talia are on mission. He ends up with magically induced amnesia and wakes up in Arkansas while the Fentons are on their yearly Divorce-iversary visit to Aunt Alica, and since he can only remember his name, he ends up being taken into their care.
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Yaelokre Danny has the same facial scar as Things in Threes Danyal, since he was initially another version of him where things turned out better. I'm debating on whether or not I should take it away however, and give him a different scar (maybe from when he fell off the train?), just because the scar is a pretty key identifier for Ti3 Danyal.
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Danny frequently visits Aunt Alicia in Arkansas! Well, only after he gets settled in and stuff. He doesn't really like the city that much and prefers the countryside where Alicia lives. I know she lives in a cabin but I'm changing it to a farm, so she puts Danny to work and gets him to help her.
I don't want to confine his hobbies to only being star stuff, because people tend to have more than one hobby and I feel like it reduces him to one-dimensionality, so he likes to garden, and learns guitar. His room becomes filled with plants, and he turns their roof into a rooftop greenhouse right below to OPS Center.
He has a complex relationship with the weapons from his past, but he's not... like... appalled by it? When he finds his weapons in the Fenton attic all he thinks is that they're his weapons, and he starts carrying a knife on him afterwards. Essentially he becomes fascinated with weaponry because its one of the few physical ties he has to his past, and while he's not training like he is in the League, he allows his strong muscle memory to guide him through his katas.
Danny likes climbing things. This causes Problems For Everyone Else.
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Danny was not the "kinder Al Ghul" in the League. His kindness extended to his brother and family, and that's it. To everyone else he had high expectations out of them, and the pride you'd expect from the grandson of Ra's Al Ghul and trained by its top members. While he wasn't like, unnecessarily cruel or anything, he wasn't merciful either.
This transfers post-train fall as him coming off as no-nonsense and unforgiving. He's not fond of the idea of giving people second chances, and is skeptical of the idea. He's disgusted by incompetency and views it as an unforgivable offense, especially if he thinks that the person should know better, although he's not sure why. Some egocentrism for the soul.
He doesn't like being touched by anyone who isn't family, and gets irritated when anyone grabs him or holds onto him for extended amounts of time. Dash has gotten hit so many times. With Jack Fenton's tendency for abrupt physical affection, it doesn't make it any better. I'd argue it'd make it worse because Danny doesn't want to be touched more often than not.
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Danyal had a red scarf in the League that he wore on his last mission, it came off before he fell off and caught itself on the roof. Damian still has it and took it with him to Wayne Manor. He's got it locked in his room and takes it out when he's alone and missing Danny the most. One time he forgot to put it away before leaving his room, and Dick was visiting the manor for something and found it. Damian found him holding it and freaked out.
Dick could only say "I've never seen you wear this, Damian, this is really pretty--" before Damian shoved him to the floor and stole it out of his hands, before screaming at him; "Don't touch this! You don't ever touch this! This is mine! You hear me!?"
It caused such a commotion that the rest of the family present came to see what the fuss was about, and Damian kicked them all out of his room. Dick is the one brother Damian's the closest with, so the fact he reacted so strongly shocked them all.
This is likely what leads to the "Danyal" conversation.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#yaelokre danny#yaelokre danyal al ghul#the yaelokre danny post didn't really go into him interacting with other people but i'm trying to figure out his personality post amnesia#just know this: he's not canon danny. im spitefully refusing to make him a Cookie Cutter of canon danny because the idea pisses me off lmao#he's complex and confused and morally gray even with the amnesia bc memories aren't stored in one part of the brain they're stored#in different parts depending on the memory and muscle memory exists and danny might not actively remember the things that shaped him but hi#body does. and somewhere deep in his mind so does his brain. his memories weren't destroyed theyre locked away in a place where his active#conscious can't reach. plus its magic amnesia and i have comic AND cartoon realism on my side.#danny's personality from the league doesn't get challenged that much by the fentons because danny's learning this about himself just as muc#as they are. Jazz can't “Fix” what's wrong with him when neither of them know it and Danny is always the first to figure it out and then#keeps it to himself. Also. Jazz has a fucking life? she's not the family therapist she has friends and hobbies even if we the viewers don't#see it. But also i just really deeply despise the idea that Jazz “fixes” danny's league issues just by existing and being the therapist#because it waters her down into a one-dimensional character who only exists in the context of providing emotional support and life advice t#danny. also therapy only works on someone that's actively trying to change. otherwise its just psychoanalyzing and people tend to hate#being psychoanalyzed without consent. which as a result may have them refuse help. anyways point is: i believe that growth is slow and#complex and danny would hide a lot of the stuff he discovers about himself because if there's one thing he still retains from being an#assassin. it's how to hide. he likes jazz but there are some things you just hide from people.#damian also told dick to “keep his filthy hands off his things”. which was also a shock because it sounded something he'd say more to tim#damian was distraught the entire time.#okay thats all i have for now.
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skyglow:
(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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kiburi x ushari but specifically doomed kiburi x ushari. more than anyone else in the army they believe with full sincerity that scar's plan HAS to work because they can't succeed without him
#they don't even have to be romantic i just think. about them a lot#bc i'm writing my sections abt them in the BFTP essay#i can't express how tragic it is to me how much they had to believe scar would give them what they wanted#kiburi is absolutely an asshole in canon and doesn't have redeeming qualities yes. but consider this#scar knew that he wouldn't give ushari and kiburi what they wanted because ofc he wouldn't. but they didn't know that#i swear to god it's not just ushari who had so much devotion to scar. sure scar scared or pissed off kiburi but#have you noticed how much kiburi brings up scar in like every battle#he puts so much into the belief that scar is the answer. as does ushari#they would turn their backs on EVERYONE if they thought scar could win#which they did#with kiburi helping to double cross janja and ushari not giving a fuck when the skinks sacrified themselves just for the plan#scar's plan was everything to them#and what happened because of it? ushari died#kiburi couldn't give less of a fuck after scar was gone but i have multiple problems with the rushed-ness of the outlanders after that#like kiburi would NOT immediately allow ANOTHER animal to boss him around y'know#sure he said that jasiri wouldn't boss his float around anyway because they'd take care of themselves but#it's just. not my interpretation of his character#kiburi x ushari is canon divergent anyway obviously lmao but. i just think there's angst in them#like im sorry but kiburi would not give up fighting makuu that easy HFHJDJ#he may not have beef with the pridelands specifically because scar isn't making him attack them since he's gone but#he hasn't got what he wants. why would he stop#completely and utterly an au idea but. kiburi wanting to take over the pridelands because their actions led to ushari's death#reptiles deserve better or something like that#oh god i've rambled so much#this is just to get my thoughts out it's not coherent at all but yeah.#there's my doomed yaoi for you /silly#rambling in tags#spinny rambles#kiburi x ushari#< i kinda love them :[
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Actually i feel like my voice goals are not that unreasonable since the people i get jealous of the most really are my age or older
......
Well, reasonable though they may be, realistic is another matter
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#trans#trans ftm#transmasc#my dad has a pretty deep natural singing voice and SO DO I so i expect i'd end up sounding like him :/#it pisses me off to no end that there's just some innate quality that cis men's voices have that i can't imitate; no matter how low or open#*how low or open i try to push my voice#well - i actually do sort of know because i've stumbled over it a time or two#it's not just keeping like.. the space in your throat open#it's a completely different way of moving your mouth around and it feels a) weird as all hell and b) bad for my jaw somehow?#the unfair part is by the time i feel safe starting hormones it'll be past the window where it's normal to want to sound like that ...#i don't actually have that unusually deep a voice i just .... fucked it up a little i think. for singing anyways.#this too pisses me off cause why do i gotta be Obviously Weird in gender BUT no voice to help that assumption along#i dunno anyways. consult coming up and i CAN pay for it i HAVE the money but hough surgery itself is all up in the air until then#i already know i won't have enough but...... i really could pay it off in about a year#ESPECIALLY if i get either more hours or get commissions#i can do it ... i know i can it's just scary to have the prospect of it all falling down on me#due to the fact that this is my first major medical procedure Ever#and i am soso anxious about money#i mustn't spend on little treats..... even if i can... even if i have more than enough money......
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growlssnarls. Does rageful backflip.
#not art#I had a good day at work today. Went smoothly did good at the things I'm payed to do#BUT. TWO THINGS#sorry I'm on my phone so autocorrect. Frowns.#Anyways the most useless guy on the team was in today#And I learned the ONLY reason he is here is because#He is the managers son. A fucking nepo baby!!!#He pisses me off so much. He can't do anything!!! No one tries to help/correct him-#Except the surly morning supervisor whom I love-#And it's easier to just. Fix his mistakes instead of trying to get through his THICK SKULL#And two. Just a rude customer which sucks.#We don't get those usually. Most of our customers are good natured redneck regulars#Anyways she insulted me AFTER I gave her her stupid little drink so I ouldnt like. Spit in it#At least she's good at being a bitch lol#She was like 'ehrn was the last time you washed your hair?' TO MY FACE and quickly walked away#My hair was fucked up coz I was just out changing the garbages. So like. Context. BUT#what a bitch. Shes come in before so if I see her again then. Well.#I spent a lot of time teaching myself how to farmers blow as a child. BITCH 🖕🖕🖕#At least I got to see that handsome lil fattie I Yap about today. when I was leaving. Haven't seen him all week so ❤️❤️😺#He pushes grocery carts sooo cute style 💕💕💕😻#..sighs.. I don't ljke being a teen#personal#Thanks for listening my diary and co 🫵🫶#Nonchalantly goes afk again 🫡🫡
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why am i on cholesterol and blood pressure medications at 26 years of age . 😐🚬 <- pretend cigarette because smoking is bad for your blood pressure
#i fucking **** **** ****** ***** ** **** ****. sorry. what the fuck is wrong with me#why do i have the health problems of a 65 year old republican man.#i get the cholesterol one because that one is a genetic disorder so it's not like i could do much about it anyway#but the hypertension is relatively recent and i feel like its my fault and i should stop eating anything that tastes good until it goes down#YES my mother has some kind of religiously influenced orthorexia and thinks going vegan will cure every disease#surely being exposed to this damaging and wildly incorrect mindset for my entire life did not have lasting deleterious effects on my psyche#anyway there's that but i can't help wondering how much of it is due to the insane amount of mental illness i've been experiencing for years#it was high before i moved up here and started going really crazy though so i don't think that's all it is#but i still get lightheaded every time i stand up. it just doesn't make any fucking sense it's pissing me off#me
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i don't feel like looking for it rn bcus of the mood i find myself in but i need to like. tattoo that post about wishing your mind would be kinder to you and then remembering that you have to do that on my fucking eyelids.
#little rock.txt#venting#it's not even. specific. i've just been in kind of a shitty mood for a few days#like i thought i knew what had triggered it so i walked myself through some thoughts on that#but i'm still just. vaguely pissed off all the time.#i don't feel particularly motivated to write the important things or talk or draw or do fuck all#like i Have done stuff. i did my laundry bcus i have work and if i didn't get a clean bra together my chest dysphoria was going to get Bad#but i've stayed up until 7-8 a.m. and woken up at 2 p.m. both of my days off#i'm supposed to be helping plan a pathfinder mission and i can't think that hard about fucking anything#i'm just tired and angry and trying to keep up appearances bcus i don't want to be tired or angry anymore#but sleeping and trying to nurse myself through my feelings don't Work bcus i'm Not Good At Them Yet#i know people love me and i'm trying so fucking hard to love myself too bcus i don't want to let them down#anyway. sorry. rant over. if you live with me uuuhh sorry i've been like this the last few days. i don't. super want to talk about it.#i need to call my doctors is what i need to fucking do but i'm gonna try to do that after work
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't 😭#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green 😭 please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE 😭 the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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Super hot take. I mean like the hottest take ever in the history of rabbits. The literal spiciest take of all time. The carolina reaper of takes, even.
If a color variety is endemic to a breed, it should probably, in many if not most cases, be an accepted variety for that breed.
Ok so now that all the color purists are foaming at the mouth and running to their keyboards to chew me out, lemme explain for those who might not know what I'm talking about. As usual, this will be lengthy and in depth because I am incapable of Shutting Up.
Those three color varieties are black, brown (chestnut/agouti), and fawn. The thing with these three color varieties is that with one main exception (we'll get to that in a moment), you're not going to get any colors except those three when you intermix them. If you breed a black to a brown, you'll get browns and blacks. If you breed a brown to a fawn, you'll probably get browns. It makes sense to generally not want to intermix them though, because in theory if you mix these colors, it can result in the kits not having quite the depth of color you want (apparently. This is what I was told by other Silver breeders). A black to a brown could result in browns with too much black, and blacks that aren't as deep as would be desirable. A brown to a fawn could result in browns that are just too dull or light in color. I can understand the reasoning behind not wanting to do this kind of color mixing, especially in a breed where fur color is such an important part of their Standard of Perfection. (In fact, other than silvering and fur texture.. it is *the most important* part in the modern Silver standard... I have opinions on that, but I've shared some of those in a separate post)
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Example that I am currently aware of in the breed I am currently working with: The Silver technically only has three accepted color varieties for the breed in the United States (four in the UK, but we'll get to that in a moment). That means there are only three color varieties that can be shown, and generally means only three color varieties that will be considered 'part of the breed.'
Remember how I mentioned about the UK having a fourth accepted color variety? You'd think - well considering the only other endemic color that isn't red-eyed white is tort, it's gotta be tort, right? NOPE. It's blue. Where does blue fit in the other three color varieties? It doesn't. It's the dilute of black, yes, but the dilute gene isn't present in any of the other varieties, so technically, dilute isn't a gene that should generally exist in the breed. The only way you can get purebred blue Silvers is to import them from the UK. Other than that, you've got to do some crossbreeding in order to get it, and doing that means you need years and years of careful breeding to take all the traits of the rabbit you're using for crossbreeding out of the breed you're going for. It's a long, difficult process that requires a lot of breeders to work on it, a lot of money, a lot of cage space, and a lot of culling. There had been a Certificate of Development (CoD) for blue Silvers in the states, but it just expired this year because folks just couldn't keep up with it and there wasn't enough interest I guess.
The one typical exception is black to fawn. This pairing can result in a new color, known as black tortoiseshell (or black tort - I'll just be referring to it as 'tort' here). Basically that means the rabbit has a primarily fawn body with black points and black belly/side markings. The other less typical exception is red-eyed white, but this is, so far as I can tell, fairly rare compared to tort in the case of Silvers. Which is good, because perhaps the most important part of a Silver is the silvering, and you can't see silvering if the rabbit is already white. This is one case where a potentially endemic color variety is one that definitely shouldn't be accepted I think, especially considering it's not a common thing to have pop up.
(disclaimer for the two above paragraphs; this is based on the knowledge I have of rabbit color genetics. I absolutely do not claim to be an expert in color genetics and it is a topic I am definitely still learning. If something mentioned is inaccurate, please let me know!!)
Why is that relevant? Because one of the main reasons I was told why tort Silvers shouldn't be a thing, other than just being told that "we don't need another variety," is that getting a CoD and creating a new variety is such a long and difficult process.
That's just it though - it's not a long and difficult process in this case. The color variety already exists in the breed. There's no need to worry about the rabbits having the wrong body or fur type or not having enough silvering any more than you would any other Silver, because they're already purebred Silvers. The effort is minimal, to be honest. It wouldn't be any different than breeding and showing any other 'normal' Silver with the exception of needing to write the standard - which, again, would be as easy as looking at any other breed's standard for the black tort coloration and pretty much just copying and pasting that into the color section. Is it maybe more difficult than I'm able to perceive it as? Sure. Maybe. But that doesn't negate the reason why this is important.
And why is it important?
Because Silvers are already an incredibly endangered breed. They're already genetically bottlenecked enough as it is, not just because there's only about 500 left in the world, but also because breeders insist on only breeding pure colors. Tort Silvers could contain extremely valuable genetic variation to help prevent some of that bottlenecking.
Because tort Silvers are freaking beautiful. I've been told on numerous occasions how stunningly beautiful a tort Silver can be. Beautiful rabbits draw in more breeders. A rare breed can only be saved if there are enough breeders willing to keep it alive. If people can get interested in the breed from this variety, it could be a key to helping to save the breed.
Because we don't need to be wasting anymore perfectly good genetic material. Yeah this kind of ties in with point number one, but here's the other side of it: if tort Silvers aren't an accepted variety, that means any tort Silver technically should be culled. I wish it were as easy as saying "well just don't breed blacks to fawns then." Problem is, folks have already done it, and they've already sold the offspring, and those offspring have already bred and become part of the overall gene pool. It is entirely possible and honestly not even that uncommon to pair a black Silver to another black Silver, to not know of any fawn in the immediate pedigrees of either one, and to end up with a litter of over half black tort. By the logic of breeders right now, those entire litters are pretty much worthless beyond maybe food or fur, or at least the tort half are. This breed can't afford to have 'worthless' rabbits that otherwise fully meet the breed standard and would be a good candidates for continuing the breed.
And so, to make a long story short, especially in the case of a rare breed like a Silver, it is absolutely ridiculous in my opinion and honestly potentially damaging to decide that a truly endemic color variety (especially one that is commonly found in litters where it wasn't even being intentionally bred for) can't or shouldn't become an accepted variety for a breed.
#i'm willing to be a variety purist to a certain point#like. i understand the reasoning. i get it. it's fine.#but to go so far as to say this variety can't be accepted because it's born from mixing existing varieties is just... it's so stupid.#*especially* because it's so common for it to just pop up in litters that are born from same-variety parents.#i literally could go on about this topic for hours it literally makes me so upset.#this is one of those cases where I'm like. yeah sometimes other breeders really piss me off.#i have to wonder what the folks who argue so strongly against making tort an official variety are actually breeding Silvers for#because like. idk about them but I'm doing it primarily for conservation and trying to help save the breed from potential extinction.#i would imagine that that along with the usual trying to better the breed should be the main reasons why people work with them#and if thats the case then why wouldn't we try to do something that could potentially help those conservation efforts???#anyways. yeah. rant of the day ig.
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i hope the lady at the transportation services office is getting paid extra to be condescending, jesus fucking christ
#like im paying twenty five dollars for new bus card cos i lost mine for my health#not cos i depend on the bus to literally get home ... like i feel enough like shit dont need your help THANKS#i have never been that cold to a person behind a desk like that before but when she was like 'try not to lose this one'#i just said thanks and walked away... like please fuck offffffff i am thirty four fucking years old#anyways. im so pissed off i can't even think abt work
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I've finally cracked and I'm learning how to mod skyrim. My poor laptop doesn't deserve to suffer so I'm downloading the unofficial patch, and at most 10 mods....What made me crack was the repetitive dialogue ngl... BUT, this will NOT become like Stardew Valley where I have 350 mods and got really into it bc Skyrim is too... much work and possible issues for that
#also#sorry but i NEED Teldryn Sero's mask to somewhat match his armour#i can't deal with glass armour with chitin mask anymore#there's 3 mods i have in mind#and i will briefly find a few other ones that are for people who need Vanilla like experiences w nothing straining my baby laptop#ngl i got very angry at the condescending tone of a Guide to how to mod and almost decided not to bother#and there's an overwhelming amount of text to read when you first get into it and i have adhd. so the 'you HAVE to read EVERY line'#attitude of this guide pissed me off#especially when they were assuming i wanted to go extreme enough to need a tool to extend a 350 mod limit on it??? i think???#and no one clearly explained WHY i should use a mod manager. in sdv modding it's not common practice to use one so it was shock#i was like why would i need that???? and everywhere just kept telling me - you need it. get this one. it makes it easier#HOW?????#finally found a guy who did a short 10 part YouTube series of vids and explained in the first 5m vid why it's helpful#mannnnn#i get cross if it's not clear why i 'need' something. telling me over and over that i need it doesn't explain what it's use is#anyway#once i got past the Very Rambling aspect of the guide it started to make sense#so I'll get on with it tonight#skyrim posting
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🌹:O
:3c
Lucifer doesn't care how the labcoats say it works; he knows there's no such thing as a clean break from a drift the minute the plug is pulled. Instead, Michael goes from a second consciousness beside his own to being dragged out of Lucifer the further Lucifer gets from him, both of them gripping tight to the connection until it slips, until it snaps, with a violent recoil that knocks Lucifer's brain out of alignment and reminds his legs that they don't work. His next step falls too fast, too heavily, and refuses to take his weight. It's only Michael, now only a voice outside of Lucifer's head yelling his name, catching him from behind that allows Lucifer to collapse to the floor with his dignity intact.
#is this more than one sentence? yes. yes it is. because tumblr deleted this post once and pissed me off.#i had so many tags about lucifer already and boom. gone.#anyway. tfw you see your boyfriend get severely injured during a battle and this makes you panic so bad you manage to make it a few meters#which is a lot for a guy who can't actually walk.#lucifer's got a whole Situation. turns out plugging a guy's brain up to a giant robot is not without its bugs.#especially when said guy was one of the first to be stuck inside the giant robot with his brother. and testing was a lower priority due to#everyone wanting a faster solution to the Giant Fucking Monsters. so lucifer's brain got overloaded and can't send signals to his legs#anymore to move right unless he's hooked up to a mech. technically when this first happened the doctor told him 'well if you stop doing mec#shit you can walk again.' but 1) he's not doing that. and 2) that was years ago. just because that recommendation is still on a file#somewhere doesn't mean it would actually work for him. or even that it would have back then. it's still the official answer for 'fixing' hi#because that's better optics than the truth. which is that he can't walk.*#(technically. technically. if he was left disconnected from the mech for a week he could walk. it would also be exhausting. and painful.#and slow. this is not something lucifer considers to be helpful information when he moves faster and with more ease in his chair.#this is something other people like to point out about him that makes him want to start hitting them. and it's not even really true anymore#the 'a week disconnected' thing. again. was a long time ago. it would take over a month for him to stand nowadays.)#(v few people Get all of this but like. michael is one of them. he's in lucifer's head enough that it would be weirder for him not to get i#add to that him being one of the few people who has seen lucifer walk nowadays and focused more on 'hey he looks like he hates that'#than praising it. and he gets it. and is also the requisite amount of annoyed when lucifer *runs off* before michael can help him into his#chair!! not the first time this has happened and will not be the last. michael's used to catching him.)#ask#oh my god that was so much rambling. this isnt even the point of the fic btw. this is just. backstory. worldbuilding.
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main verse hyurick: HAD THEIR FIRST KISS
black knight! hyurick: he called him a knob
#( dash commentary. )#that would be truly wonderful ( ooc. )#until the end and then a little more ( patrick & hyuk. )#going to you without any reason ( patrick & hyuk | black knight verse. )#I'M SORRY I HAVE TO COMMENT ON THE DUALITY OF THESE TWO...#one is so sweet and wholesome and GOD I'M GETTING CAVITIES#the other is 'he is making me mad and i can't argue against him so i will be resorting to schoolyard tactics instead'#the duality of love really#love is sacrificial and pure and makes u happy....but it's also 'you are pissing me off so much i can't help but think u're doing this#on purpose. i love u anyways but i'm gonna stab u'#FJSLKDJKFLSDJFLK#okay i sleep now <3
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Also if you're wondering why I had to be Irish: bitch, I'm a native species! You're the invasive one! This is my home! I'm just visiting yours for a lifetime, and I'm being kind enough not to redecorate your room at my place. The Tuatha Dé Danann were already acknowledged as being sui generis. Maybe stop turning your grandfather's place into such a fucking bloodbath if you don't want Him to pitch an absolute fit when He wakes up!
#and if there are any more crimes you have committed#now is the time to confess#to be absolved or redeemed#i can only help with one of those things but i'm not the one who chooses what goes in the fire#i just build it and keep it running#it's better to be thrown back into the ocean#you only go in the fire if you've really pissed him off#i give you what mercy is mine to give#a swift cut is a kindness#i don't have the keys in this lifetime#i can't let you into your father's house#but i can help you change the locks and fire the bad shepherds#maybe train some better ones#possibly from a more diverse candidate pool#you wanted a Paraclete#i really hope i'm not the only one they sent#but i'll take my better part that you see as the dirty work#i want my fucking wages though#i'll only split it between the grandkids anyway#you'll get your share#but ONLY your share#everything that was your father's is yours#stop being so fucking prodigal#take it from me it's a bad idea#“i can still hear her voice sometimes” “stop telling people i'm dead! or in heaven!”#they're both technically correct but they're oversimplifications that you're using to bully your siblings#“dad left me in charge!” clearly dad should have know better than to leave you little shits alone in the first place#but i guess you did crucify him so i can't blame him either#mother has arrived-- what do you mean you drank the fucking wine#that was barely juice it needed to AGE this is just like that time in Cana... let's tidy up before we ask him to do his next miracle okay?
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when I find whatever God that made it impossible for me to put a tampon in im going to drown you with roach spray
#scrib talks#and then I get stressed tf out which makes it impossible to get it to go in 🥰#it males me want to cry#im going to a waterpark tomorrow and I remembered that I need to bring tampons#which I fucking hate btw#and I'm doing research#and turns out some people js can't use tampons#and I'm honestly pissed tf off because if I tell my parents I can't go swimming since I can't put a tampon in then my dad's gonna get upset#w me and my mom's gonna try and help me but it's js gonna stress me out more#because I have crippling anxiety and asking for help when it's offered makes me break down and not functional#anyways#tw vent in tags#cw vent
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