#but i can hurt myself and hide it from everyone else

[yoomiwrites]

Salty Rush¹¹

Summary: Some time ago, Reader was a partner of Akainu, a comrade he could rely on. Reader betrayed the navy, became part of a pirate crew...And finally the two face each other again

Note: He is WEAK.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

The silence weighed heavily in the small room. My hands rested in my lap, cuffed and immovable, but my mind was anything but still. The minutes stretched on endlessly, every creak of the walls making me jump. I didn’t know what I was waiting for, but the oppressive quiet felt like a punishment in itself.

Then, the sound of footsteps.

They were steady, deliberate, and heavier than those of the soldiers who had brought me here. My heart pounded as the iron door groaned open, revealing a tall, broad figure I hadn’t seen in years. The sight of him made my breath hitch, my chest tightening.

“Sengoku…” I whispered.

The former fleet admiral stepped into the room, his presence as commanding as ever. His white hair glinted under the dim light, and his sharp eyes bore into me with a mixture of pain and disappointment. For a moment, he didn’t speak, simply standing there as if gathering his thoughts. Then, with a sigh, he stepped closer and crossed his arms over his chest.

“So,” he began, his voice low but firm. “This is what it’s come to.”

I didn’t know what to say. Seeing him again brought a flood of memories—years of training under his guidance, his sharp but fair criticism, his unwavering belief in my potential. I had admired him once, respected him as both a mentor and a man. But now, all I could do was lower my gaze, shame tightening my throat.

He pulled out the chair opposite me, its legs scraping against the stone floor, and sat down. For a long moment, he studied me, his expression unreadable. Finally, he spoke again, softer this time.

“You’ve changed,” he said. “But not enough to hide from me. I know you, Y/N. Better than you might think.”

My lips parted, but no words came out. What could I say? Sorry? That felt hollow. Explanations felt useless. So I said nothing, and the silence between us stretched.

Sengoku’s voice cut through it, laced with emotion. “When I first heard the reports of your defection… I couldn’t believe it. I told myself there had to be a reason, something I wasn’t seeing. But then the evidence piled up.”

He leaned forward, his hands clasped tightly together, his gaze piercing. “Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

His words struck me harder than any blow. I swallowed, forcing myself to meet his eyes. “I didn’t want to hurt you. Or anyone.” My voice cracked, but I pushed through. “But I couldn’t stay. Not when I saw what we were doing. What we were becoming. Sengoku… you know it’s wrong. You’ve always known.”

His expression flickered, a flash of something I couldn’t quite place—regret, perhaps. Then, he exhaled heavily and leaned back in his chair. “You’re not wrong,” he admitted, his tone weary. “Not entirely. But that doesn’t mean I can forgive you for the path you chose. There were other ways, Y/N. You could have come to me.”

“Would it have mattered?” I shot back, the bitterness in my voice surprising even me. “I did what I had to do because no one else would. I—” My voice faltered, and I looked away. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice,” he said, though there was no malice in his tone. Only sadness.

The silence returned, heavy and suffocating. I clenched my fists, struggling to keep my emotions in check. Finally, Sengoku broke the quiet.

“Do you know why you’re here?” he asked.

I frowned, confused by the sudden shift. “I assumed… an execution,” I said bluntly. “Isn’t that why you’re here? To deliver the final judgment?”

To my surprise, Sengoku shook his head. “No. This isn’t an execution.”

I blinked, taken aback. “Then what is it?”

He hesitated for a moment, as if weighing his next words carefully. “It’s… an enlightenment. A celebration, of sorts.”

“What?” I said, my voice sharper than I intended. “What are you talking about?”

Sengoku’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he leaned forward again, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “It seems Sakazuki has made his first mistake.”

I froze, his words echoing in my mind. “What… mistake?” I asked, my heart pounding.

He studied me for a moment, his expression unreadable. “He’s claimed your betrayal was part of a covert mission. A lie, of course, but one he’s insisted on. According to him, your actions were sanctioned, your defection an elaborate ruse to gain intel.”

I stared at him, my mind reeling. “That’s ridiculous. Why would he—” I stopped mid-sentence, the answer dawning on me like a punch to the gut. “He… lied? To protect me?”

Sengoku nodded slowly. “It would seem so. And now the higher-ups are preparing to welcome you back as a hero, rather than a traitor.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Anger flared in my chest, sharp and unrelenting. “That bastard,” I muttered, my fists clenching. “He lied to save his own conscience. To clean up his mess. He doesn’t get to decide my story—”

But even as the anger burned, something else stirred within me. A warmth I couldn’t quite explain. He had lied. For me. For reasons I couldn’t fully understand, Sakazuki—Sakazuki, of all people—had shown weakness. Had bent the truth for my sake.

And somehow, that made me furious and happy all at once.

“Y/N,” Sengoku said, his voice pulling me back to the present. “Whatever his reasons, this is your chance. Your one chance to walk away from this with your life. You’d be wise to take it.”

I looked at him, my emotions a storm of confusion, anger, and something uncomfortably close to hope. “And if I don’t?”

His gaze softened, and for the first time, I saw the pain behind his stern exterior. “Then we will lose you. For good.”

The weight of his words settled heavily on my shoulders. I looked down at my hands, the cuffs biting into my wrists, and took a deep, shaky breath.

Sengoku leaned back, his gaze heavy as he regarded me. The tension between us was palpable, the weight of our shared history pressing down on the room. Finally, he broke the silence.

“Tell me,” he said, his voice quieter now. “What happened? Between you and Sakazuki?”

I blinked at the unexpected question, my throat tightening. For a moment, I considered brushing it off, keeping it vague, but the sincerity in his expression stopped me. If anyone deserved the truth, it was Sengoku.

“It’s… complicated,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “We trained together, you know that. Back then, we were close—closer than anyone knew.” I hesitated, searching for the right words. “He was… different. Not softer, exactly, but there was more to him than just the cold, calculating Admiral everyone sees now. He cared. About me, about what we were fighting for.”

Sengoku nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I remember that. You two were inseparable during training. But something changed.”

I looked away, my chest tightening at the memory. “It did. As we climbed the ranks, he started pulling away. The more he dedicated himself to the cause, to justice, the less room there was for anything—or anyone—else.”

“Except for you,” Sengoku said quietly, his words startling me.

I frowned, shaking my head. “No, even me. He didn’t have time for doubts or distractions. And that’s what I became. A distraction.” My hands clenched into fists. “I tried to talk to him, to make him see that the way the Navy was heading—it wasn’t right. But he wouldn’t listen. Or maybe he couldn’t. He’d already made his choice.”

“And you made yours,” Sengoku said, his tone measured.

I nodded, my heart aching at the memory. “I left because I couldn’t stand by and watch anymore. I thought… I thought maybe it would wake him up, make him question things. But instead, he saw it as a betrayal. Not just of the Navy, but of him. And now… here we are.”

Sengoku was silent for a long moment, his expression unreadable. When he finally spoke, his voice was heavy with something I couldn’t quite place—regret, perhaps, or understanding.

“He cared for you,” he said. “More than I think even he realized. And I think that’s why it hurt him so much when you left.”

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. “He cared for the idea of me, maybe. The version of me that fit neatly into his vision of justice. But the real me? The one who saw the cracks in the system, who questioned the orders we were given? He couldn’t handle that.”

Sengoku leaned forward, his eyes piercing. “And yet, he lied to protect you. Do you know how much that cost him? For someone like Sakazuki, who lives and breathes by the code of absolute justice, to bend the truth like this… it’s not something he would do lightly.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking in. “Why, though?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Why would he do that after everything?”

Sengoku’s gaze softened. “Maybe because he regrets what happened between you. Or maybe because, deep down, he knows you were right. And that scares him more than he’d ever admit.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I looked away, my vision blurring. “I don’t know if I can forgive him,” I said quietly. “For the things he’s done, the people he’s hurt. But part of me…” I trailed off, my voice trembling.

“Part of you still cares for him,” Sengoku finished, his tone gentle.

I nodded, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if I’ll ever stop.”

Sengoku leaned back, exhaling heavily. “You and Sakazuki… you’re two sides of the same coin. Both stubborn, both unyielding in your beliefs. And both of you have suffered because of it.”

The room fell into silence again, the air thick with unspoken words. Finally, Sengoku stood, his movements slow and deliberate.

“Whatever happens next,” he said, his voice firm but kind, “know that I still believe in you. You were one of my best, Y/N. And no matter what path you’ve chosen, I’ll always see you as the person I trained.”

His words left me stunned, a lump forming in my throat as he turned to leave.

“Sengoku,” I called out, my voice trembling.

He paused, looking back over his shoulder.

“Thank you,” I said, the words barely audible.

He nodded once, a ghost of a smile on his lips, before stepping through the door and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

As the door closed behind him, I leaned back against the wall, my mind spinning. Sengoku’s words echoed in my head, mingling with memories of Sakazuki, of the fire in his eyes and the rare softness he tried so hard to hide.

Maybe Sengoku was right. Maybe we were two sides of the same coin. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late to figure out what that meant.

[sweettlovinnmclovin]

Besos en todo mi cuerpo | N.A.C

Backstory At 24, you’re someone who tends to prioritize work over everything else, leaving you with little time for socializing or going out. You rarely see your friends, but when you do, there's often someone they bring along who catches your eye. The chemistry between you two is undeniable, and although you’ve exchanged a few casual conversations—mostly flirting—nothing has progressed into anything serious or led to a hookup.

Now, the question is: Could one night change that? Is there potential for this to evolve into something more, like a relationship, or will it just remain a casual hookup?

There he was sitting in the corner of the room talking to one of our mutual friends and taking sips out of his beverage while doing so , he wasn’t much of a drinker so you were caught off guard as you saw him taking a shot and using his beverage as a a chaser.

“you made it” said your friend , This caught Nicholas attention and he looked up at you as if he never thought you would show up but then he started smiling , His gaze never leaving. It was like he was admiring you but at the same time almost undressing you with his eyes it was a feeling you couldn’t describe and always gave you chills to think about. As you settled in and had a few drinks he finally approached you “ Hey didn’t think you would come” said Nicholas,his breath smelled like tequila at that point and when you made eye contact with him you noticed he looked a bit tipsy. “ yea I did , I said to myself well fuck it it’s Saturday and I can always just call off Tomorrow if Im hung over” you say and taking sip out of your beverage after quickly hiding your face. He notice you were a bit shy and a smirk appeared on his face and he chuckled to himself. “ what so funny nick” you say

“ oh nothing it just you never go out , you never call off either or drink what’s up with you”you smiled and said “ I can say the same thing about you , I saw you earlier taking shots”a smirk appeared on his face and said “ I guess we are both doing things out of our comfort zone.”

“ yeah I guess we are”you say

As you guys continue to have a conversation , a girl who seems out of it at this point keeps bumping into you and spills her drinks on your boots multiple times now , at this point its beginning to irritate you and you start to push her back which leads to an altercation. You hate when people can’t handle their liquor and most of all when they get aggressive and you knew she was that type of person and wouldn’t be able to handle her liquor she turns around and says “ bitch watch it ” as she pushes you back , you set your drink on the table and push her back harder and say “ oh please don’t start Shit if you can’t handle your liquor”and turn around and grab your drink as you walk away to avoid it from escalating even more but it’s too late she pours her drink on you and spits on you , “ what the fuck”everyone at this point is watching you two , everyone is expecting you to walk away again there is so much tension you started to think to yourself at what point did they hear this going on , you snap out of your thoughts and and swing and end up hurting her nose instantly ,she started crying and you aren’t sure if it’s because how much alcohol she consumed or what but you don’t bother wasting much time on her and storm out .

As you exit the apartment and about to go in the elevator , Nicholas quickly gets in “ why you leave without saying anything , no bye or see you later” you were still agitated from the fight and want to respond in a rude manner or give off a bitchy face but you were hoping he would pick up on the signs and understand you weren’t in the mood after all some random who couldn’t handle their liquor just got into it with you. As the elevator goes down and there is so much silence in the elevator you can practically hear your breathing go back to normal and you unclench your fist. He finally breaks the silence and says “ for what it’s worth you handled it well , I’m sorry I should’ve stepped in I just thought you had it under control and I mean you did because the blood on your fist is from her nose.” He said this in a tone that caught you by surprise almost as if likes seeing that side of you but you brushed it off and caught in to what he said .

“ what “ you notice your fist and the blood drying up “ ew gross , I feel so disgusting I have alcohol on me , blood , sweat” you unzip your top to dry your chest with your sleeves but not too much to the point you are revealing yourself just enough to get yourself cleaned up however this made him glare at you how he was earlier, like if his eyes can undress you .

“ what “ you chuckle , he instantly replies “ your beautiful “. you both stare at each other for what seems like forever but look away , you look down shyly and feel flushed . He gets closer and you can feel his breath on you gosh he still smells like tequila however the closer he got you can smell his cologne , his aroma was so good he smelled like cinnamon , woodsy scent and hint of spice yet sweet and musky . You looked up and made eye contact with him the longer he stared the more you can feel yourself melting into him until both were skin to skin “ I always thought you are beautiful “ you stay quiet yet you can feel your face getting warm and there was a pink flush on your cheeks However it seemed that he wasn’t done yet , he wanted you to be weak and worship him and that’s exactly what he was achieving. Those 5 mins you spent in the elevator waiting to go back to the lobby seemed eternal , he was teasing you and wanted you to be aware of it now that he knew you desired him he had you right where he wanted but you couldn’t take it any longer .“ please “ you cry , “ please what , I’m not doing anything “ he says in a innocent expression yet smirking , “ I can’t take it “ you lean forward and your body begging to be touched , your hands tugged his shirt pulling him closer and you initiate the kiss , it wasn’t gentle it was a kiss that was along waited, you kissed hungrily , after all he created this tension and desire and finally you have a taste of him you pull away , gasping for air and he quickly deepen the kiss by massaging your tongue with his , there’s so much passion into the kiss he caressed your lower back and stroking your thigh with the other hand pulling you closer. A small gasp came out of you The way he demands for more without speaking , it’s like if he could he would devore you at that very moment. He definitely had a way to tempt you. You rolled your hips against him ,You savored every moment of it and yet you craved more. The way his lips are so soft and warm you couldn’t get enough.

When you guys pulled away the door opens and you can’t help but just smile to yourself . The world feels so faded when you two are together. You and Nicholas have always had chemistry yet never imitated anything yet this was something you both yearned and you finally got to feel and taste what you been craving and you want more.

As you heading to the parking lots Nicholas says to you “Did you need a ride or you brought your own car “. You respond with “ no it’s okay I’ll just uber “. However it seemed like he didn’t want to let you go yet and you were thrilled to know that he felt the same excitement you did. He responded “ what no , I don’t mind taking you home plus we can go back to my place for awhile and just hang out if that’s okay “ he takes your hands and kisses it . “ okay “ gosh why does he make me feel so weak you thought to yourself, “ don’t get shy now “ he chuckles . You approach his car as his opens the door for you “ thank you” you say , “ my pleasure “ he smirks and closes the door while he makes his way to his side and make his way to his place. During the drive you fix your makeup and can’t help but feel him glazing over at you , you hear him chuckle and he says “ you fixing it and it’s going to be all over the place again “ .

“ oh really “ you say smirking, you decide to tease him how he’s been teasing you and making you feel weak and what a better time to do it then when he’s driving , you know he will get you back as soon as you arrive at his place which is why you take it to your advantage be dominant.

You can feel him getting more aroused for you and he takes your hand and places it where his print his “ you want it “ he murmurs you nod .

you unzip his jeans & begin to stroke his shaft through his briefs and he spat“ show me , be a good girl and show me how bad you want it ” you do as he says and lower his briefs , it’s like he can’t take the teasing anymore & he helps you by pulling his cock out. As he pulls it out you can see how hard his shaft is for you , you tease him by licking the tip and swirling your tongue before taking it all he gasp to your touch “ f-fuckk “ he grunts . You continue to tease him by tapping your tongue on his shaft “don’t be a tease “ he murmurs . You continue to slobber it and stroke it , you can tell he is close by the way his breathing gets heavier and by the way he clenches your hair . You look up at him and see he rolled his eyes back & closes his eyes , you feel him twitch “ im gonna cu-“ “ not yet “ you interrupt him .

You know he is so close by the way you feel him twitch in your mouth. His eyes glazed over you and his eyebrows start to furrow and his breath hitching

“ now cum in my mouth “ you murmur , when he finally releases you are a few minutes away from his place , you swallow his cum after fulfilling him however you hear his chest heaving and as his zips up his jeans he says “we aren’t done yet ” and he reaches over to grab your neck and chokes you lightly “ not even close” you say as you suck on his finger and flicker your tongue against it . He groans and his eyes flutter , you smirk to his reaction and he hurries out the car and opens the door for you and smacks your ass as you walk infront of him “ if my neighbors weren’t so fucking nosy I would take you right here in the parking garage” he chuckles

“ why not give them something to talk about” you say .

for a minute he seemed like he was down, imagining the scenario and he can’t help but to smirk and say “ you are trouble you know that” .

when you finally reach his place ,it’s happening again that feeling you felt earlier … the adrenaline taking over. Nicholas at this point knew how to make you weak for him and enjoyed it “ I want you to beg for it now ”he says and he pins you to the wall “ tell me how bad you want it” he leans closer to the point you can smell his aroma , and if he was to get any closer you can probably hear his heart beat .

“ I want all of it ” you murmur , “How bad do you want it ” he whispers sending chills down your spine

“ I said I want all of it ” as you put your hand on his chest not only did this create more tension but you can tell it made him aroused right away .

he doesn’t waste any time and his hands quickly drift between your legs , you grind against his hand to create more friction and you moan to the thought of him touching you without clothes you crave his touch so much it makes you wonder if you said it out loud or if he wants to touch without clothes too.He leaves the sloppiest kiss on your neck and unzips your top , leaving you with just your bra on however that doesn’t last long . He unhooks your bra and waste no time and with one hand massages on one breast and with his mouth he plays with the other breast , he twirls his tongue around your nipples

“ f-fuckkkk” you whimper, you roll your hips against him and bite your lip. You feel your nipples hardened and he continues to suck on you breast and leaving love bites “ I want to kiss you everywhere” he murmurs

“ then do it ”you groan , he unzips your jeans and you remove your boots in no time and remove your jeans leaving you with just your thong but not for long “this is coming off too” he murmurs and as he plants a kiss right on your thigh , nibbling softly and removes your thong slowly until it reaches your ankles and you come off them easily “ much better” he murmurs as he begins to leave wet kisses on your thighs , inner thighs and finally what you been waiting for. You yearned for him to touch you and taste you, have him inside of you.

he inserts two fingers in you “ fuck you are so wet”he murmurs as he plants another kiss on your thigh , he lifts his fingers to his mouth and licks them “ you taste good too” he mumbles “ stop teasing me please” you whimper , “ be patient baby”he spat .

he puts your legs over his shoulder and starts to lick your clit it feels so good but you know his cock will feel better “baby I can’t take it please” you cry , as he continues to lick your clit in circular motions until your legs start to shake and you feel like your close “ baby I’m going to cum please”you cry, he lifts you up and takes you to the bedroom where he has you on fours , you arch your back against him and he makes his way to your entrance and slaps his cock on your clit and strokes his shaft. As he slaps his cock on your clit and plays with your clit you can hear how wet you are. Each time he slaps his cock on your clit making you even more wet , “ I need it baby”you cry out , he presses his thumb to your clit and your body feels like it’s trembling to his touch each time.

“If he felt so good sucking on my clit and playing with it I can only imagine how good his big cock feels” you thought to yourself and finally he inserts himself , it takes awhile to adjust to his size but when you do , you moan louder and louder with each thrust you start to throw your head back and arch even more” oh my gosh “ you mumble.

“ do you like that , be a good girl for daddy and take it , take this dick” he growls

he takes your hair with one hand and pulls it occasionally and with the other grabs your neck and chokes you lightly “ baby you can choke me harder” you groan , he did as you said and applied right amount of force / pressure , you can feel yourself getting tighter and feel him getting closer “ f-idk y/n you feel so good baby”he whimpers at this point you can tell he’s close he thrust harder and faster and bury himself into your neck and grunts “ baby I’m gonna cum” you can feel like twitching inside your throbbing wet pussy and slowing down the pace and finally he releases inside of you and tumbles over “ fuck that was so good” he says as he cleans you up then himself.

he goes to the kitchen to get water and serves you a glass of water , you take a sip and he sets his glass on the counter and says “ I’m going to shower real quick want to join me while I get my stamina back and maybe we can do round 2?”

You can’t help but to chuckle and smirk “ well how many rounds did you have in mind”

“ as many times as I want” he murmurs and walks away and as he walks away you can see his perfectly built body, the way his back muscles are so perfect .

he turns around already smirking almost as if he knew you were checking him out and as he strokes his cock , he groans “ so are you cumming or not”

“ you mean coming ?”you correct him

“ why not both” he murmurs with a devilish grin on his face.

you know what two can play this game why not you say and you walk towards him ready to tease him “ está bien , pero primero quiero que me des besos en todo mi cuerpo” ( that’s fine but first I want you to give me kisses all over my body )you murmur as you touch your body seductively . “ its going to be a long night”he murmurs and grips your ass before smacking it.

The end 😗

Below ⬇️

Disclaimer: I apologize in advance if this smut doesn’t turn out well—this is my first time writing it.

Also, here’s what the character is wearing, but feel free to imagine the outfit however you like. Also the elevator scenario I added an image too 😝😏 the last image well let’s just pretend he is doing what the ending saying 😝

[something-so-terrible]

todays the day

[tamagotchikgs]

looking at the scar on my arm everyday feels like a reminder im never going to be ok, im never going to be human i ruined it after all the years i held myself back i finally severed the line i had at any chance of one day belonging

[athenamikaelson]

Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson Pt. 18

Word Count- 3.9k

Warnings- Swearing, self-inflicted wounds, violence

“No, because we’re mad at Jeremy right now, Theo.”

Theo glares at me from the front door as I hold his car keys hostage, “Correction, bitch. You’re mad at him. My babe made a small error, that’s no reason to hold me hostage, from him.”

I grip the keys tighter and glare at my little brother, “Small error?! Theo, he cheated on Bonnie! How is that a “small error!”

Theo thinks to himself for a moment, tapping his chin, “Well…he said he was sorry. Aren’t we all about forgiveness?”

My eyes narrow at Theo’s question and I fight back the urge to hit the back of his head with my palm. 

“You’re thinking of hitting me right now aren’t you,” Theo purses his lips.

“Maybe…”

Theo and I watch each other for a moment before the ringing of my phone distracts me. This gives Theo the opportunity to snatch the keys out of my hands and I glare at him as he books it out of the front door.

“Theo, you little shit!”

“Hasta La Vista, Nerd!”

I clench the phone in my hand and press the answer button as I watch Theo swerve out of the driveway. 

“What,” I bite out into the phone. 

“Damon, Pukey. Who pissed you off,” Damon Salvawhore’s voice exclaims sarcastically on the other end of the line. 

“What do you want, Demon?”

I can practically see the eye roll he’s giving me right now as he responds, “You need to get your ass down to the grill and calm down your girl. She’s freaking out.”

“Why is she freaking out? What happened,” I hurriedly reply but realize the asshole already hung up on me. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding.”

—-

“Jeremy, the minute that you get this, call me.”

I play with the blue darts in my hand as Elena leaves yet another voicemail to her brother. I tried calling Theo as well but the little asshole shut off his phone. 

“Man, you’re feisty when you’re mad,” Damon throws a dart at the board and I frown heavily when I see he made a bullseye. Future reminder- Don't play darts with a vampire. 

“It’s not that I’m mad. I’m just, I’m worried,” Elena tells Damon and I line myself up to take my turn. I raise my hand with the dart in between my fingers and pull back. 

“Why? He lost his job at the grill? I think he’ll survive, Elena.”

“He’s spiraling,” Elena defends and I fight back the urge to roll my eyes. 

Even though Elena is my best friend, practically my sister, and I love her, after I found out what she did to Rebekah before the homecoming dance, I’ve been a bit ticked at her. 

—

“You did what!?”

Elena flinches back at my loud voice. I had just gotten back from the homecoming dance 30 minutes ago when Elena ended up on my front porch.

“We couldn’t trust her Y/n! I had to do it, nothing could go wrong. We had to kill Klaus,” Elena raises her hands as she tries to reason with me. 

“And how did that work out for you?! Klaus is very much alive, the only one who could kill him is now dead, and when an already heavily pissed off Klaus finds out you stabbed his little sister in the back, LITERALLY, how do you think he’s going to react!”

Elena just sheepishly looks at her hands. 

“And besides…stabbing Rebekah in the back, after she agreed to help?! Elena…I expected better from you,” Elena goes to speak but I raise a finger, “I’m not finished. Why exactly did you hide this from me? Everyone else knew of this plan, why not me?”

I grit my teeth as my mind goes through the idea that has been plaguing the back of my mind ever since I joined Elena’s friend group.

  “I know I just became friends with you guys and I’m nothing special or anything… I just thought,” I press my fingernails into my palm, “I don’t know what I thought.”

Elena walks towards me and shakes her hands, “Y/n that’s not what this is about at all! Of course, you’re a part of us. It’s just that we didn’t want you getting hurt. You’re human and…”

“So aren’t you,” I interject, “Elena I’ve been stabbed, shot, kidnapped, maimed, and harassed by multiple supernatural creatures. And yet I’m still here. I’m not some child who needs protection. I’ve protected myself for years, and I will continue to do it until the day I stop breathing.”

“I know I just…”

“I think it would be better if you leave,” I walk to my bedroom door and open it, “I’m angry and I don’t want to say anything that’ll damage anything.”

Elena opens her mouth and then closes it. I watch silently as she nods solemnly and then walks through my door.

“We’ll talk soon?”

I turn at the teary brown-eyed girl, “Ya…sure.”

—-

“Ever since Bonnie broke up with him,” Elena continues.

“Rightfully so,” I pipe up as I close one eye trying to focus on the board.

“He’s moody and he’s not really talking to anyone.”

My eyebrows furrow and I look back at Elena, “You do realize Jeremy and Theo can’t go even a few hours without the other before one of them starts hyperventilating, right?”

Damon nods and agreement and Elena just frowns.

“She’s got a point, Elena. And besides he’s a typical teenager.”

“Who’s seeing ghosts and who’s lost practically everyone that he cares about?”

“Not everyone. He still has you and Jenna,” Damon responds and turns around and nudges my shoulder.

“You going to shoot that thing or what,” He gestures to the dart in my hand. 

I take a deep breath in and then out. I pinch the dart in between my fingers and bring my hand back. With one final breath, I throw the dart forward and watch as it lands just an inch away from the center.

I smile happily at Damon. He smirks at me and then quickly shoots his next dart. My smile instantly disappears as he shoots it once again into the bullseye. 

“Die.”

Damon raises his eyebrows in shock at my comment before rolling his eyes.

“Already did that sweety, catch up.”

I huff as Damon walks to the board and harshly grabs both of our darts off of it. I turn to Elena who shoots me a questioning look.

“You okay,” Elena asks him. 

Damon turns around, “What makes you think I’m not okay?”

“That’s a loaded question,” I sarcastically reply.

“Well, you’re day drunk,” Elena responds and I fight the urge to remind her that that isn’t a new thing, “It’s not exactly your most attractive look.”

Damon walks closer to Elena, “Oh. What is my most attractive look?”

“Uh-uh. I’m not saying that you have an attractive look. I’m just… saying this is my least favorite one.”

“I’m going to barf,” I groan out as I take Damon’s hand and peel my darts from his palm. 

He lifts his hand for me to take my darts but doesn’t take his eyes off of Elena, “Noted. See if I can make any improvements.” 

I’m still holding onto Damon’s hand when a British accent sends a chill down my spine.

“Don’t mind me.”

“Fuck me,” I throw my head back and sigh.

Damon, Elena, and I both turn to see the Original hybrid leaning against the table in front of us. 

Damon instantly steps in front of both Elena and me as he takes my hand to push me back.

“Klaus,” Elena frightenly says, and the hybrid smirks at her.

“You’re gonna do this in the grill in front of everyone? It’s a little beneath you, don’t you think?”

“It’s not like he couldn’t just compel everyone here Damon. So don’t piss the guy off,” I lean up to whisper to the vampire.

“It appears the princess here is the only one of you with a set of brain cells,” Klaus glances at me and then his eyes move to my hand that is gripping Damon’s. The Original’s eyes narrow and I quickly detach my hand from Damon’s. Confusion fills me as I see a smirk build onto Klaus’ face at the move and he looks at me once more before turning back to Damon. 

“I just came down to my local pub to grab a drink with a mate,” Klaus turns around to a brunette man standing behind him, “Get a round, then, would you, Tony?”

“I’m surprised you stuck around town long enough for happy hour.”

“My sister seems to be missing. Need to sort that out,” At Klaus’ mention of Rebekah a feeling of guilt washes through me and I fight the urge to not glare at Elena. 

“Cute, blonde bombshell, psycho. Shouldn’t be too hard to find,” Damon sarcastically responds. 

“It’s almost like the pot calling the kettle black, Salvawhore,” I’m not sure why I’m defending the blonde Original but something about Damon insulting her pisses me off. 

I once again gain Klaus’ attention but this time his smirk drops slightly and an odd look covers his face. As if he’s not sure why I defended his sister either. 

Klaus quickly turns his attention back to Damon and stalks towards us, “Truth is… I’ve grown to rather like your little town. Thinking I might fancy myself a home here.”

“And what is so special about this little town? There are plenty of others for you to inhabit and rule over,” Damon snarks and Klaus narrows his eyes.

“I have some reasons… or maybe just one,” Klaus smirks at Damon but I could’ve sworn he glanced at me for a split second. 

“I imagine you’re wondering how does this affect you,” I try to take a step back, but Klaus grabs my hand and pulls my fingers apart. I try to fight him but his hold is firm as he takes the darts out of my hand. He pauses for a moment when he sees the small red fingernail marks in my palm. I release a deep breath as he traces his thumb over the marks. 

I furrow my brows as I look up to the man who appears to be in thought. But a moment later he locks eyes with me and his once thoughtful look turns into a glare as he pretty much rips his hand from mine and storms by me. 

“The answer is, not in the slightest. As long as I get what I want and everyone behaves themselves you can go on living your little lives however you choose,” Klaus turns over his shoulder to look at Elena, “You have my word.”

I roll my eyes at Klaus’ mocking tone. 

“What more could you possibly want,” Elena shakes her head at the man.

Klaus points at her and takes a step forward into her space, “Well, for starters… you can tell me where I might find Stefan.”

Damon steps over to them and places himself between the two, “Stefan skipped town the second he saved your ass.”

Klaus turns back around, “Well, you see, that is a shame.”

He quickly shoots the dart and I groan as he makes a perfect bullseye.

“Seriously?!”

Klaus doesn’t spare me a glance as he walks back over to the other two.

“Your brother stole from me. I need him found so I can take back what’s mine.”

“That sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem,” My eyes practically fall out of their sockets at Elena’s comment. 

Klaus tilts his head and starts walking toward her and I find myself going to step in between them but Damon beats me to it. Klaus turns and smirks at the younger vampire, letting out a low laugh. And I feel my face warm up at the sound. Really dude?!

Klaus turns back to Elena, “Well, this is me broadening the scope, sweetheart.”

Klaus stands back up to his full height and smirks devilishly at the two before walking away. 

Damon and Elena look at each other worriedly and a thought goes into my mind. 

“I’ve actually got to go. I’ll talk to you guys later,” I grab my bag and quickly run off before either of them can say anything.

 I turn the corner of the restaurant where I had seen Klaus just walk down but when I turn I see no one. I frown as the idea I had quickly falls away.

I turn back around but jump back surprised, seeing Klaus leaning against the wall not even a foot away. He’s looking at me oddly and I fight back the wave of nervousness I get from being so close to him. Nervousness because he could kill me at any moment. No other reason. 

“Looking for someone?’’

I grip my bag strap tighter as I bounce lightly on my feet.

“Yes, actually. You.”

My answer seems to confuse him as he tilts his head, “Oh? And why is that?”

I blow out a breath of air, “I had to ask you a question…or two.”

I watch silently as Klaus watches me as well. He leans forward and stands up. He starts walking, or stalking, towards me and I try to find the willpower not to take any steps back in fear. But as he comes to stand so close our feet practically touch, that becomes hard. 

“And what makes you think you can ask me any questions?”

“Because you have such a pleasant demeanor?”

Klaus’ upper lip twitches for a moment, “Is that so?”

“If I say yes will you let me ask you my questions?”

Klaus looks down at me and his eyes make their way over my face. 

“I have things to do, you can ask two questions only,” He pauses for a moment, “And for each question…you have to answer one of mine.”

I frown at his deal, but I still nod.

“Fine.”

Klaus smirks, “Then ask away, Princess.”

“I hate it when you call me that,” I snarl and he lets out a laugh that makes my chest hurt.

“That wasn’t a question.”

“Fucking fine… Why do you have Alastair stalk me?”

Klaus doesn’t seem surprised by my question as he once again leans back against the wall. 

“I can’t answer that,” He replies and raises his hand to glance at his fingernails. 

“Seriously! Are you serious right now!? For months I thought this guy was my first friend that I made on my own and then next thing I know NOPE HE’S A FUCKING VAMPIRE!”

My outburst has Klaus quickly leaning down into my face, “I suggest you keep that voice of yours down,” He glares at me, “For one, we wouldn’t want any of the locals to know about your little friend’s secret…and two, I don’t take kindly to people who raise their voices at me. Matter of fact, the last person who did, I ripped out their spleen and fed it to them.”

I clench my fists hard as I glare at the man, “Is that what you’re going to do to me then,” I bite out and Klaus leans in so our noses are almost touching.

“Trust me, Princess. What I have planned for you is far worse.”

I take a step back in shock, “So you do have something planned for me? Is that why Alastair is following me.”

Klaus closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as if my presence irritates him. To which, it probably does.

“To answer your question, perhaps. Let’s just say I need you to stay as you are, pretty, unharmed, and horribly obnoxious.”

I pause and my glare instantly drops, “Wait…you think I’m pretty?’’

Klaus goes back to leaning against the wall and staring at his fingernails, “Is that the only thing you heard? Not the obnoxious part?”

I frown at his comment, “Takes one to know one.”

Klaus turns his attention back to me and smirks, “You think I’m pretty too?”

I deadpan at the man, “No. I was calling you obnoxious aswell.”

Klaus smirks at me some more before shrugging his shoulders, “Whatever, you say. Besides…your heart tells a different story.”

I freeze up and can feel the warmth coming back onto my face as Klaus smirks down at me. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I try to deny and Klaus’ smirk somehow deepens. 

“Umhm,” He raises a finger and drags it over my warm cheek. I shove his hand away and he lets out another laugh. 

"I think you might be catching a fever then. Your face feels hot."

I slap his hand away quickly.

“Just ask your stupid question, already!”

Klaus leans back and thinks to himself a moment before raising his hand to show me his palm.

“Why do you do that?”

I frown and he takes this as a sign to explain.

“I saw those fingernail cuts in your palm. Why do you do that?”

I pause again and shake my head in denial.

“Don’t try to lie to me, I can hear your heartbeat,” Klaus sternly says and I sigh.

“I don’t know why I do it,” I lean back against the wall next to him and bring my right hand up to look at my palm. The crescent-shaped marks are freshly red and ugly. 

“Sometimes I get angry and think it would be better to hurt myself than those around me,” I say my thoughts out loud, and then freeze when I realize what I had just said. I look over to Klaus but he’s already looking at me. 

“I’d rather hurt those around me than hurt myself,” He remarks and then looks at my palm that I still have raised, “You should too.”

“That’s where we’re different,” I lower my hand and put it into my sweatshirt pocket, “I don’t want to hurt those around me. And I don’t get joy from it either.”

Klaus narrows his eyes at me, “Your mistake.”

“Is it though? Is not wanting to hurt others truly that bad?”

Klaus tightens his jaw and then quickly grabs my hand from my pocket and shoves it to my face, “When it results in you hurting yourself then yes, Astin Min. I would much rather you hurt everyone else.”

“Why? Why does it matter to you,” I question him and he drops my hand and stares at the wall in front of us. 

“Is that your second question?”

I bite my lip and then cross my arms over my chest, “No.”

Klaus doesn’t turn to me, “Then ask your second one already.”

  I pause for a moment thinking over if I really want to ask him this, “Um… when you get your family back from Stefan,” Klaus turns his head slightly to look at me, “Will you wake Elijah up?”

At the mention of his brother Klaus’ once calm demeanor seems to darken. 

“And why do you care,” He stands up and takes a step away from me.

I shrug my shoulders trying to act nonchalant, “I just don’t think he should stay daggered.”

Klaus’ nostrils flare and my nervousness from before comes back as it looks like he’s going to kill something. Or someone. 

“My brother will be awoken when I wake him,” Klaus practically snarls out.

“That’s not the answer I wanted,” I glare at him.

“Too bad. My turn,” He harshly says, “Who shot you?”

I frown at the question. 

“Excuse me?”

“I want an answer, Princess. Who. Shot. You,” Klaus stalks towards me with every word.

“Why do you care?”

“You’re out of questions.”

“Why? Want to tell them they have a nice aim or something?”

Klaus’ blue eyes darken and a chill goes through my body.

“Fine,” I sigh, “It was the Sheriff. But it was an accident. She meant to shoot Damon.”

Klaus continues to stare at me for a moment before rolling his shoulders and nodding his head.

“This has been a fun chat, Princess. Unluckily for the both of us, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other soon.”

That’s the last thing Klaus says before he walks back down the hall and I’m left somehow more angry and pissed off than ever.

— 

“Of course, Elena. Theo and I will be home all night. Once again I’m so sorry. Let me know if you guys need anything.”

I hang up the phone and then run a hand over my face. 

“Are you okay?”

 I quickly fake a smile at Theo as he walks into the kitchen.

“Ya, I’m totally good,” I lie. How exactly was I supposed to tell my little brother his football captain compelled his best friend to walk in front of a speeding car driven by a hybrid?

Actually… 

“Your football captain compelled Jeremy to walk in front of a speeding car driven by a hybrid,” I quickly blurt out to Theo who is staring at me blankly. 

“Wait…Tyler did what?!” 

I raise my hands up realizing I could’ve eased him into this. 

“Tyler’s a hybrid. Which is a vampire slash werewolf mix. And vampires and werewolves both exist because the supernatural exists. Caroline, Stefan, and Damon are all vampires. Elena is a doppelganger which means she's got an old-ass twin who is also a vampire… Um, Bonnie is a witch, and um… I think that’s it. I wanted to tell you but I also wanted to protect you. But with everything going on and with Jeremy almost getting killed I realized that leaving you in the blue might be the worst thing to do. I am so sorry.”

Theo blinks at me. And then blinks at me again. 

“I know this is a lot to handl-”

“I know.”

I frown at Theo’s words, “You mean you know this is a lot to handle?”

Theo walks by me and grabs an apple from the dining table, “Nope.”

I open and close my mouth about a thousand times and Theo just watches me as he eats his apple. He’s got about halfway through it before he speaks again.

“Is Jeremy okay?”

I open my mouth again and then just silently nod at my brother’s chill deamor. 

Theo nods, “Good,” and then takes another bite. 

“Good? What the hell do you mean good?!”

I throw my hands into my hair and pull on it in exasperation. My brother leans against the kitchen island and watches my tantrum with a bored face.

“Would you have rather Jeremy been not good,” He asked nonchalantly and I think I’m going to scream. 

“What the hell is going on?!”

Theo must be getting tired of my screaming because he throws the apple core in the trash and then walks back over to me, “Jeremy told me about the supernatural like weeks ago. He knew what it was like being left in the dark and didn’t want that for me. Unlike him though, who had a hissy fit when his sister kept it from him, I understand why mine did it. I appreciate you trying to keep me out of this, but when my main bitch, and my sister are a part of the supernatural world. That means I am too.”

I stand with my mouth hung open as my brother pats me on my shoulder, “I’m going to let you have a moment to yourself. We’ll chat later.”

I watch bewildered as Theo casually walks down the hall and back towards his room.

What the fuck?!

[makethemhoesmad]

love you till my lungs give out

paige bueckers x reader

word count- 2k(lord)

notes: this fic was such a great write for me, as it focuses around eating disorders, which is something i’ve personally struggled with. i know this is a sensitive topic, so please, if this makes you uncomfortable, scroll away, or read at your own risk.

thanks to: literally the biggest thanks ever to @melpthatsme for dming me your idea and helping me work through it, i really could not have done this without you, so everyone thank them

also thanks to @imaginespazzi and @bueckersstrap for reacting to my random messages about this

—

the first time it happened, i barely realized i did it.

“paigey, my head hurts so bad right now. like, im gonna die right here,” i groan, hiding my face in the fabric of her hoodie, trying to lock out any stray amounts of light coming from the covered windows. she runs her hand through my hair, and starts to ever-so-gently massage my temples. i sigh in quiet relief, and then she tries to pull me up to lay on top of her.

“uh uh, paige, no,” i say. i try to shake my head at her, but a bolt of pain flies through me, forcing my head back down.

“jus’ tryna help you get comfy, ma,” she whispers, bundling me up in a blanket and pulling me back into her side. she moves her warm hands up and under my t-shirt, but i squirm about, complaining that they’re too cold, even though i’ve never felt anything more soft and warm, so she moves them back over my shirt. but i don’t notice it, not really. and neither does she.

the second time, i know what i did.

“so, what should we order to eat?” paige asks, scrolling on her phone for different options. 

“mm, what if i cooked here, for something different! i can make you a grilled cheese,” i joke, nudging her arm with my shoulder. “that’s all i know how to cook anyway.”

she giggles, standing up with me and following me to the kitchen. she hoists herself onto the counter, and watches me intently as i pull out the things for a sandwich. i grin at her, moving to step in between her legs and take her face in my hands. 

“you’re so cute,” i say, pressing a kiss to her nose. she hops off of the counter and follows me to the stove. paige is just too sweet to me sometimes. i’m cooking dinner for her, the least i can do, really, and she’s cozied up behind me, arms around my waist her hands are barely touching, she can barely fit them around me and her chin is resting softly on my shoulder. she’s pressing light pecks to whatever area she can reach, and i feel at peace, in the kitchen, for a few moments. then it stops.

“why aren’t you making one for yourself baby?” she asks, spinning me around to lean me against the countertop, forgetting her sandwich beside her.

“i’m feeling, um, nauseous,” i stutter, stumbling over the excuse. she lets me go, though she looks skeptical.

“cmon, just have a bite of mine then. baby, you really need to eat more, that’s probably why you haven’t been feeling very well lately.”

i allow her to feed me a small bite, then quickly use my fingers to silently add that to whatever else i ate today. i read somewhere that to lose weight, you need to burn more calories that you eat. tomorrow, i need to burn around 800. Well, 804 now. 

the third time, i think paige noticed something was up.

“ma, this is literally the fourth time you’ve said that you’re cold. just take my fucking hoodie, i’m actually begging you,” she pleads, taking it off and offering it up to me. i shake my head, again, and press myself further into her chest, rubbing my arms to try and make the goosebumps disappear. she pulls me into her, then moves her mouth to my ear.

“is everything okay baby? do you wanna go home?” she whispers, nuzzling my neck with her nose. i shrug, not wanting to make her leave if she wasn’t done chatting with people yet. she makes the decision for me, standing up and tugging me with her. her hand finds its way to the small of my back, and she guides me towards the door. i sway slightly as we stand, blood rushing to my head. i take it as my lack of protein, or anything really, catching up to me. she stops walking, lurching to grab me by both shoulders and bend to eye level with me.

“darling, i want you to be honest with me. what have you eaten today?” i shake my head, feeling my cheeks going red at the thought of her confronting me. i look down, trying to avoid eye contact with her as my eyes fill with tears. she wraps me up into a hug, planting a kiss to the top of my head. she pulls me to the car and helps me in, then climbs into her own door, but makes no move to turn the car on. instead she pulls out her phone and asks me “so, where do you wanna stop and pick up food on our way home?” 

“paige, i’m really not that hungry, just tired and need to be with you in bed for the night. can we please just go home?” 

she nods, but looks at me skeptically out of the corner of her eye. she must know that all i’ve eaten today is half an energy drink and a piece of gum. i’ll eat something with her tomorrow, i guess. we can go out to lunch together and then when she goes to the gym ill go on a run. then she’ll see that im okay.

the fourth time, or probably the fifth or sixth, really, i don’t notice it, so i don’t think she does either.

“cmere pretty,” paige mumbles, reaching her arms out to me from where she’s laying on the bed. i slowly move to lay next to her, but roll away when she tries to take my sweater off.

“hey, baby, what?” she whines, apparently frustrated by the lack of contact.

“i wanna leave it on, paigey,” i tell her, moving my hand into the waistband of her shorts.

“but i wanna see you, please baby,” i don’t like saying no to her, but this is one thing i very rarely back down on.

“uh uh, sorry. lemme taste you, though,” i respond, moving to tug her shorts down.

“nah, come and sit on my face, cutie.” she smirks at her own words, but i’m not laughing. i scramble off the bed, standing up to black spots in my vision. i stand still, squeezing my eyes shut to get rid of the feeling. i stay there for im not sure how long, when i feel strong arms loop around my shoulders and help me onto the bed. paige helps me lay down, placing my head in her lap, then starts to comb through my hair with her fingers. she doesn’t say anything, and i’m grateful for that. obviously, she just thinks im tired. she knows im okay.

this time, im sure she noticed. it would be hard not to.

i’ve just come home from a run to the gym, dripping in sweat. it’s part of my new routine. i jog a mile and a half to the gym, i walk on a stairmaster or inclined treadmill there, then run home. normally i leave when paige leaves for practice, and come home just as she’s getting home, if not a little before so i can shower before she gets here. today, i must’ve done a little too much, because by the time i walk in the door, my head is spinning. i walk into the kitchen, sitting down at the island and resting my head in my hands, trying to clear my vision. i don’t hear when the door opens.

“baby, are you okay?” i hear. i sit up quickly, startled, then put my head back down immediately, because my vision goes nearly dark again.

“mhm, just tired you know? just got back from a run.” 

“you’ve got to take a rest day sometimes, darling,” she coos, taking my face into her hands and pressing a kiss to my nose. i nod, knowing i won’t do it.

sometimes i don’t realize it, but she knows exactly what to do.

i’ve just finished cooking dinner, just some simple spaghetti and a salad. i place her bowl of noodles in front of her, then settle down with my salad. when i stand up to get a glass of water, then come back, i can’t help but notice she’s switched our bowls.

“paigey, could i, possibly, maybe, have my bowl back?” i ask, trying to seem lighthearted.

“oh, yeah, sure,” she answers, sliding it back towards me. but when i try to slide hers back, she stops me. 

“nah, you eat that too. seems like you forgot to serve yourself noodles, so ill go make myself a new bowl.” she stands up, but i scramble in front of the stove quicker, blocking her way. 

“why would you do that, when i made you a whole bowl? eat it,” i tell her, pointing back to the countertop. she lunges at me, lifting me easily and placing me on the countertop. why would she pick me up? she definitely thought i was too heavy. i bet she leaves after this. she drags her my bowl over, twirls a few noodles onto the fork, and begins to prod my mouth with it. 

“cmon honey, just a bite. it’s not like it’s poison, you literally just cooked it,” she presses. i start to shake my head, so she moves the fork and instead swoops in for a kiss. i return her advances eagerly. hoping it distracts her. she moves her head down, pressing open mouthed kisses to my neck, and my mouth falls open. i don’t realize she’s noticed that until she’s setting the forkful of food between my lips and lightly closing them.

“it’s one bite, ma. let’s get it eaten, then you can be done.” i chew, not really having the choice to run and spit it out. once i swallow, she beams at me.

“such a good girl, baby. i’m so proud of you.”

at some point, she wins

“come here now, baby,” paige demands, grasping me by the waist and yanking me in front of her. i’d been about to climb into the shower when she spotted me through the bathroom mirror, stripped down to nothing. she’d grabbed me, pulled me into my room, and positioned us in front of the full-length mirror to the side.

“you see how perfect you are? how pretty?” she mumbles into my ear. i let my eyes flutter shut as she snakes her hand down my body, stopping to circle her finger over my clit. a groan slips out from my lips, and she stops.

“alright, i want you to keep on looking right in the mirror, ma. want you to see how perfectly you take my fingers.” i writhe against her, trying to keep my eyes open and hold myself up at the same time. she plunges three fingers into me. i cry out, locking eyes with her in the mirror, she smirks, the same way she always does when drawing a climax from me. i go boneless. if she hadn’t been holding me so tightly, i would be on the floor.

“now can you see how amazing you are? you don’t gotta change anything about you, i’ll love you no matter what. you should stop listening to what others say, because people that love you, like me, want you, no matter what you look like. i, personally, think you’re perfect. i’ll love you till the day my lungs give out, and even then, i’ll use my last breath to say it again.”

after that, it happens less often. some days, i still forget to eat, and some days even looking at a scale makes me want to throw up. but paige is always there. she’s always there to hold me, or help me eat just a little bit, or to help me lay down and relax after i’ve panicked so hard ive puked into the toilet. one day, looking at her from across the couch, i realize that when she told me she’d love me no matter what, she was telling the truth.

[themaidenofwords]

Do y'all remember how at the end of season one when Martin and Jon were hiding from the worms and their conversation went along the lines of,

"Why the fuck do you keep acting all skeptical when there's a literal half-dead worm woman outside?"

And Jon sort of breaks a little and says, "Because I’m scared, Martin!. Because when I record these statements it feels… it feels like I’m being watched. I… I lose myself a bit. And then when I come back, it’s like… like if I admit there may be any truth to it, whatever’s watching will… know somehow. The scepticism, feigning ignorance. It just felt safer."

Now, I know I am taking some liberties here, because Jon does explicitly state that the Watcher's presence was the main reason he tried to avoid believing the statements, but I think there's something else to be seen here.

Jon's reaction makes me think of why people are sometimes scared to get a diagnosis (mental or physical). Particularly when it comes to mental diagnoses, there seems to be a general feeling that if you ignore it-- if you can just pretend that the warm breath of something just behind your shoulder isn't real-- then it can't bite you. There's a fear of putting a name to problems as if by naming it and acknowledging it is a problem, you give it the power to hurt you.

I've seen this in people struggling with mental health issues, but more commonly i've seen it in the families of the struggling person. Sometimes it comes from a place of good intentions, but there's a type of gaslighting that occurs when everyone close to you refuses to put a name to the thing you all know is there. If you admit there may be any truth to it, whatever is there will become more real.

"It just felt safer."

"Well... it wasn't"

"No. No, it wasn't."

Am I a professional in mental health? No.

Could I be talking out of my ass? Possibly.

But I believe we should acknowledge the fact that being scared of identifying what may lurk in the dark makes it no less real. Illuminating the harmful problems in your mind or trying to identify the cause of the suspicious pains in your body can only help you understand what needs to be done to help yourself. The face of the creature you uncover may be ugly and terrifying, but if it's illuminated, it can be fought.

Don't let yourself or anyone else make you afraid of putting a name to what you feel. Seek a diagnosis. Research for a self-diagnosis. Talk to friends or a therapist. Find the name of your monster, because ignoring it does nothing but let it draw closer to your door.

[revelboo]

sometimes i think this is how some of the bots think about humans

lowkey don't know how to feel about that myself, i actually put myself in some of the human's shoes and wow it's no easy task to deal with their situation and having to keep themselves calm

That’s probably how a lot of them unconsciously view humans because of the size difference.

A Lifeless Ordinary Pt 4

Scavengers x Reader

• By virtue of Swindle’s reputation as a crook, Misfire voted Crankcase to use the language file and everyone else agreed. Most likely the con wouldn’t intentionally off a customer he can scam again, but still. Now Crankcase leans over where the human is sitting on a crate, little legs dangling and heels thumping against the side, and he spouts gibberish at you. Your head comes up, eyes widening as you say something back and get to your feet. “Do you understand it?” Krok demands, right as your little shoulders slump, hands gesturing.

• When the one with the chunk out of his head starts talking and you recognize human language, you lunge to your feet. Asking if he knew your language, because while the sounds are familiar, it’s still nonsense to you. And he’s just staring back at you in incomprehension. It’s the wrong language and you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry. Or scream. You’re still stuck at square one playing charades with giant, alien robots.

• “Still gibberish,” Crankcase growls, leaning back as the human goes on a rant, little hands flapping about and gesturing before you flop back down in frustration. Reaching out he nudges your shoulder with a servo and you immediately swat him. Those eyes glowering when he uses that same servo to tip your chin up. Because he gets it, to be so small and trapped somewhere? Unable to communicate? You must be terrified even if you hide it well. And that’s something he understands. What happened to him left more scars than just the chunk missing from his head. Sometimes the other Scavengers come up on his bad side and he almost swears it’s Thunderwing looming up behind him, that old nightmare digging it’s claws in.

• “Of course it is,” Krok sighs, slumping back on the bench in the cargo hold. Doesn’t even realize when he starts clicking the device in his hand because it’s become a nervous habit by this point. Whenever something goes sideways, he plays with it and now you look up at the noise and meet his optics. As he watches, you hold up your fist, thumb moving to mime him until he stops. “Signal that crook.”

• “I told you,” Misfire growls, wings flaring as he watches you stop copying Krok and look up at him. Unable to understand, but trying. Those intelligent eyes alert. As he watches, Spinister finds that stuffed animal as big as you are and pushes it firmly at you, knocking you flat on your back as you wrap your arms around it in self defense just to get him to stop. “I mean, his name is Swindle,” he mutters as he stalks off.

• Arm looped around the stuffed bear, you crane your neck to watch the one with wings stalk off. They’re obviously all unhappy and it hurts to get your hopes up only to have them crushed again. If you can’t communicate, you can’t ask to go home. You’ve tried mimicking some of the sounds they make, but they always just look at you funny. Expressions giving away that they can’t even tell you’re trying so hard. That your attempts are just nonsense to them. Anxiety lifting through you, you’re aware of the biggest one, the one that had found you and ran you down, still staring at you. He’d scared you nearly to death then, but if he hadn’t spotted you that day? You’d have probably starved on that barren world, scared and alone. He saved you whether or not he realizes it.

• “Think they really were a pet taken after the war?” Fulcrum asks as you chatter at Spinister, trying to get back up only for him to keep pushing you back over with a servo. He’d stop him, but you’re laughing instead of angry. “Why abandon them out here?” Because you haven’t been that much trouble except for the handful of times they’d accidentally poisoned you trying to keep you alive. Swindle’s food at least had been legitimate, though whatever those black and white discs are, you’d tried to devour the entire package as soon as they weren’t paying attention to you. And he’s almost positive you had been swearing at him when he had to take the package away to ration them out slowly. Like now as you manage to get away from Spinister and move as close to him as you can get, big eyes imploring as you hold out a hand. Aware of the others watching as he produces the little package and holds it out, holding up a servo of the other hand in warning. And huffing at him, you take only one instead of trying to snatch them all, reaching out as soon as you pop it in your mouth to pat his servo and mumble nonsense at him.

Previous

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[lovebugism]

I heard you’d like some requests, don’t mind if I do 👹 I could’ve sent 62 but I restrained myself:

*grumbling* "Some people are waaay too touchy."

if it inspires you, please!

emmy (upsidedownwithsteve) 🧡

@upsidedownwithsteve, my love! it was an honor to write for you! i hope you like it :D — eddie munson's a big, jealous grump at the bar (established relationship, fluff, 1.1k)

Eddie’s having a piss-poor night. His beer’s lukewarm, the music’s too loud, you’re too far away, and Steve Harrington hasn’t shut up in ten minutes. 

He could hardly stand the dumbass everyone used to call The King, but even less when he’s got a golden arm thrown over your shoulder. And, yeah, it’s all friendly or whatever, but that hardly quells the wildfire burning in his chest. “What right does he have to touch you like this? Fucking none,” grumbles the wild-haired boy’s inner conscience. 

But then again, no one does. Not even him.

“Think I should go buy her a drink?” Steve asks you over the blaring pop music. His honey eyes are pointed across the bar at a girl way out of his league. His slick mouth is far too close to your ear.

You roll your eyes. “I think you should be a gentleman and feel things out with her first—”

“Oh, I’m gonna feel things out with her, alright,” Steve scoffs, bringing the lip of the beer bottle to his mouth.

“—Before jumping into a one-night stand you only halfway recover from.”

The two of you turn to glare at each other, then. Gazes unwavering. Noses mere inches apart. Eddie makes a faint grumbly noise of protest about it, but the boyish sound of disgust goes unheard under the music.

But when I see you hanging about with anyone—

It’s not unusual to see me cry; I wanna die!

Someone’s been plugging the same goddamn Tom Jones song into the jukebox for six minutes now. Eddie feels like he might as well be in hell at this rate. It’d hurt less, he figures.

You and Steve seem to communicate telepathically until he inevitably caves first. He huffs until his puffed-out chest deflates, along with his stupid ego. He doesn’t know how you always seem to be right about everything. He fucking hates it, actually.

“Right. Whatever. I’m gonna go find Robin. She’s probably lost,” Steve deadpans with a sigh as he slides out from the booth. “Want anything?”

“Can you get me—”

“A spicy margarita?” he finishes for you — like he can read your fucking mind, Eddie grouses bitterly to himself. He hates that someone else knows you as well as he does.

You squint. “How’d you know?”

‘Cause it’s your favorite thing to drink after shots, Eddie answers in his head.

“Because we just had tequila shots. And you always want a spicy margarita after tequila shots,” Steve deadpans, then chuckles when your face scrunches. He pokes the very apple of your cheek and turns to the pouty boy across from you. “What about you, Eds? Want another beer while I’m up?”

Eddie shakes his head with a flat face, then takes a sip of his warm and hardly-sipped beer.

“Next round’s on you two, alright? I’m not your fucking boyfriend— you’re not getting free beers off me all night,” Steve chides lightheartedly before disappearing into the crowd. 

You only smile to yourself as he goes. You know he’ll buy the whole damn bar out if you ask him to. ‘Cause that’s what best friends are for and all. Especially when they’re rich.

A groan bubbles in Eddie’s throat when the upbeat song starts all over again. It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone! the man croons. He drops his head to his elbow and bellows an annoyed moan. His chestnut curls spread wild over his shoulders.

You hide your grin behind your fist. “What’s wrong, Eds?”

“Nothin’,” he monotones, face still hidden.

“You haven’t said a word in twenty minutes.”

“Well, Steve hasn’t shut up in about thirty, so…” he retorts and lifts his heavy head, faking a smile as he tilts his flushed cheek to his shoulder. “Getting you two idiots into a room is fuckin’ crazy, you know that, right? Neither of you knows when to stop talking.”

Your nose scrunches. “Well, that’s what usually happens when you have friends, Eddie. You have conversations.”

“You sayin’ I don’t have friends, sweetheart?” he questions with narrowed, chocolate eyes.

“No,” you answer, grinning all pretty. “I’m sayin’ you’re jealous for no reason.”

His face falls flat at having been found out so quickly. Though he figures he wasn’t exactly being discreet about the whole thing. He grumbles and shifts awkwardly in his seat, feeling too seen beneath your unwavering stare.

“Some people are just way too touchy,” he grouses with a boyish sneer on his features, trying desperately to hide his pout behind the amber bottle in his fist. He takes another sip of the lukewarm liquid and averts his gaze.

Your beam widens until it brightens the dim bar. “You’re the one sitting all the way over there, you loon,” you tell him with a soft giggle that squints the edges of your eyes.

Eddie perks at the invitation. His doe eyes flit from the sticky table to your twinkling eyes. He’s been waiting on the offer all night, too much of a coward to ask you himself, and it shows on his suddenly hopeful features.

You nod your head to the empty spot beside you. “Get over here before Steve comes back and starts yapping again.”

Eddie rises with a newfound life, rounding the table and sliding into the squeaky booth beside you. He clutches his beer with his left hand and throws his right around your shoulder. His arm rests over the back of the booth where Steve’s once was, holding you like he’s been dying to all night.

“Better?” you grin.

He nods wordlessly, wild curls tickling your jaw. He takes another sip to hide his quiet smile when you press your lips to the flushed apple of his cheek.

Steve returns then, with your spicy margarita in one hand and Robin’s wrist in the other. She stumbles in behind him and sways in place ahead of the table — freckled cheeks rosy, ocean eyes glassy.

“Have fun?” you wonder with a teasing lilt.

“I saw something shiny on the way back from the bathroom,” the brunette girl confesses in tiny slurs. “Then I get lost…”

You nod sympathetically. “We figured.”

Steve nudges her ahead of him until Robin gets the hint. She slinks gracelessly into the booth. The boy squints as he slides you your drink. “You’re in my seat,” he observes, as if it weren’t blatantly obvious.

Eddie shrugs. “…Yeah?”

“You could’ve just asked to switch,” he scoffs and slips in beside Robin.

“I was fine,” the wild-haired boy insists, then nods his head over to you. “She’s the one that wanted me to move.”

And even though that’s not exactly what happened, you nod anyway. “Yeah. I got too tired of sitting next to you, Stevie,” you tease the boy ahead of you. “Your cologne’s too strong— you smell like a fucking high school boys’ locker room.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you had a ton of experience in those back in the day, didn’t you?” Steve scoffs.

Your eyes narrow. “Dick.”

“Jesus,” Eddie grumbles like a storm cloud. “Stop flirting.”

[voxslays]

Angel’s “Goodie Two Shoes.”

Warnings >>> A lil angst, swearing.

(This almost took up three entire pages on google docs. lol.)

It was an average Tuesday in hell. Everyone at the hotel was socializing, until Angel walked in. That's when the fighting began.

“That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.” Husk points at Pentious. “That one. That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep!” Husk gestures at Charlie next. “Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.” He rolls his eyes. The others try to deny the accusations. ​​”And you!” Husk scoffs as he looks at Angel. “Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.” Angel moves closer to Husk. “You weren't kidding! Oh ho, wow! Kittens got claws~” He aggressively flirts. “Angel. Enough.” You try to de-escalate the situation. Husk visibly stiffens. “Awww~ Are you jealous?~” He flirts, putting his hands on you.

“Angel. I'm serious. Stop.” You shut him down. “This is hell baby, what did you expect? Flowers?” He says in his thick Brooklyn accent. “You’re making everyone here, including myself uncomfortable! Stop!” You raise your voice to just below a yell. “You know what? Fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender,” he motions to husk, and then to you, “or some goodie-goodie thinks a' me.” Angel was trying to hide the hurt he felt from your rejection by putting on some ‘classy’ sunglasses. “So why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from, porn critics”. Husk growls annoyed at his comment as Angel flips both of you off, with all four of his hands.

You angrily stomp up to your room and slam the door shut. Charlie pokes her head into the hallway, hearing the door slam and a cry. Her affectionate instincts flare within her, she walks to the room and knocks on the door. “Hey….Y/N? Are you okay?” She asks, a tone of concern in her voice. “I'm fine..” You wipe your tears. “Please go away.” *Charlie frowns, worried. This was the second time something like this is happening. Charlie gently puts a hand on the door. No you're not. You're crying,” She pauses. “Can you please let me in?” She asks gently. Charlie waits for a response, shifting her feet as worry and concern fill her heart. She doesn't like when people are upset, especially in her own hotel. She gently knocks again. “Please?” You open the door. Charlie wastes no time in throwing her arms around you in a tight hug. She can feel her own heart breaking that yet another person is crying. 

“Angel called me a ‘goodie two shoes’…is that true?” You say through your tears. Charlie pulls back, gently taking your face in her hands. “Of course not! You're not a ‘goodie two shoes’...You're a good person. You are kind, empathetic, and sweet. You care about people. You make the people around you happy. Angel is just...being Angel…” She trails off. “Don't overthink it.”

“I think I have feelings for Angel.” Charlie blinks, letting go of her. “You have feelings for Angel Dust?” Her eyes are filled with mild disbelief. “You...like Angel??” You sigh. “I do.” Charlie’s face lights up with excitement. “That's great! You should go tell him!” She exclaims happily. “I can't. He is really upset with me…” You say sadly, tears still forming in your eyes. “Just go talk to him. I'm sure things will turn out okay. I promise.” You look up at her, wiping your tears. “Are you sure?” You ask, still a little skeptical. “Yes.” She responds.

You walk into the lobby and sit on one of the sofas, reading a magazine. Angel sat down next to you, his long spider-like legs stretching out in front of him as he huffed. The tall and skinny demon’s expression was sullen and tired, his gloved hands fidgeting with the bowtie around his neck. He didn’t immediately say anything, opting to try and gather his thoughts first. After a small moment of silence, Angel took a deep breath and spoke up, his voice quieter than usual but still holding its usual hint of sass. “Look. I know I’ve been real shitty to ya lately. But I’m not tryna be, it’s just how I deal with stuff. Not that what I deal with gives me an excuse to treat ya bad or nothing.. I just.” Angel huffed again, frustrated with his ability to find the words.

“You were right though. I am a goodie two shoes.” Angel laughed slightly at that, shaking his head. He ran his hand through his long fluffy locks and said, “Yeah, yeah ya kinda are Toots. I may just be the right amount of bad boy to get you to break a rule or two.” Angel reached his hand out and gently lifted your chin, turning your head towards him. His usual smug expression was softened, and his usual sass was replaced with genuine worry. “But seriously suga’. Are you alright? I don’t want ya thinkin I don’t care about ya, ya dig?”

“Did Husk put you up to this? Talk some sense into you?” Angel looked away, refusing to meet your gaze. He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed that Husk had gotten involved in their fight. There was a long pause. “…I dunno if I’d say that exactly. More like gave me a smack upside the head and told me to stop being a jackass.” It was your turn to laugh softly at him. Angel chuckled in return, and leaned his head back against the filthy brick wall behind him. He looked up at the night sky, his long legs stretching out before him as he spoke in a quiet voice, “I meant what I said though doll. I really don’t mean to act like such an ass. I..I really do care about you sugartits.”

“The only reason I was upset is because I knew you were right.” You say sadly. Angel quirked an eyebrow at that comment, and shifted his gaze back over towards you. “You… Wait what?” He asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. “You’re telling me you’re really upset cause I hurt ya feelings instead of because I was being a prick?” Angel was dumbfounded, his expression morphing into one of complete bewilderment. It was the last answer he’d ever expect you to give. He sat there processing your response for a moment, his mouth hung slightly open in shock. After a few moments he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “Babe. You really are a goodie two shoes.”

Angel chuckled and reached out to place a hand on your shoulder. When he spoke, his voice was genuine and soft, the usual sarcasm replaced with sincerity. “If it makes you feel better, I really was just spouting random bullshit. I only said that to get under your skin. You seriously have no idea how much I’m into how pure and sweet you are, toots.”

“Easy there angel. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a crush on me.” You tease. Angel let out another small laugh and rolled his eyes, a smirk spreading across his lips. He leaned a bit closer, and said in a low voice, “Darlin, if I’m honest, that’s exactly what’s goin’ on here. I’ve absolutely got a crush on you, Babycakes.” You look shocked.

Angel placed his hand on your thigh, and added, “You’ve no idea how cute you are dollface. So sweet and pure. I’m completely head over heels for ya.” He smirks. “Me too.” You lean in and kiss his cheek. Angels smirk morphed into a genuine, albeit shy, smile. His cheeks flushed a light pink and he chuckled sheepishly at the show of affection. He reached up with his lower set of hands, cupping your chin and running his thumb over your lips. “You’re lucky I’m a sap for a goodie two shoes, doll.” Angel teased, his voice still low and soft. “I guess I am.” You say, as you two spent the night in eachothers arms.

[thescarletnargacuga]

Art by @iamespecter

CHAPTER TEN

Caine and Pomni grow closer while making the next day's race! Caine can't deny his feelings, but Pomni is unsure! The other racers make their own mischief without a track to keep them busy!

WARNING: none!

~~~

Gangle hummed to herself cheerfully as she redesigned the paint sceme and patterns on her kart. She was feeling rosey pink today, so that's what her kart would be for tomorrow. She drew her custom designs on the control panel tablet and they appeared on her kart in real time. "Hmmm....I wonder how many white flowers I could fit..." She was so focused, she didn't notice Gummigoo standing beside her.

"Gangle-"

"EEP!" Gangle's mask went askew but she held it before it moved out of place further. "Oh, hi!"

"Uh, hey...can I talk to you?" Gummigoo looked around to make sure no one else was in earshot.

"Sure!" Gangle put down the stylus and gave him her full attention.

Gummigoo rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the scarred indents of Bubble's teeth marks. "I...I think something happened to me last night."

"A lot happened to everyone last night." Gangle giggled.

Gummigoo forced a small smile. "Yeah, look, I think something bad happened. I went to my room, blacked out and woke up standing in Pomni's room. She seemed rather freaked out by me being there."

"Oh my! I'm sorry, I didn't see you go in there. I was... preoccupied." Gangle glanced at Zooble, a light blush dusting her mask. "Have you tried talking to her today?"

"Yeah, but she brushed me off... wouldn't even look at me." His shoulders drooped. "I consider Pomni a friend, I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I had hurt her in some way...what do I do?"

Gangle put her hand on his shoulder. "Give her space for now. She'll come around when she's ready."

"What if she never is?" He couldn't handle the thought of Pomni never talking to him again.

"How about I ask her on your behalf? Maybe she'll talk to me about it. Girl to girl."

"I'd really appreciate that. You're a true friend, Gangle." Gummigoo smiled for real this time.

"Awwww, shucks. I try." Gangle waved him away bashfully. "Anyway, try not to worry too much. Pomni wanted you here in the first place. I don't think she'd change her mind overnight."

Gummigoo took a deep breath. "I'll have to take your word on that for now, but thank-"

"LOOK OUT!" Ragatha cried out.

Gummigoo turned around in time for a pb&j sandwich to smack him in the face. It slid down his stunned form, falling to the ground with a wet splat.

Jax was laughing his ass off. "I wasn't aiming for you, but I'll take it."

"What's the big idea!?" Gummigoo wiped off the smear of jelly and peanut butter over his eyes.

"I'm bored." Jax picked up a cup of yogurt from the dining table. "That's why." He chucks it at Ragatha, who ducked. The yogurt smacked the back of Kinger's head, who silently turned his head curiously. "Man, my aim is off today." Jax picked up a a mixed berry pie and aimed for Zooble, who had their back to him.

Before Jax could launch the pie, Zooble spoke. "Throw anything at me, and it'll be the last thing your arm ever does."

Jax changed the trajectory last second and threw the pie at Loo, who was hiding behind the furniture with Ragatha.

Gummigoo rushed to the packed table. The bubble chef hovered overhead, amused by the racers playing with the food. Gummigoo got a whole bowl of mashed potatoes, and dunked it on Jax's head.

"AH-MMMPHTH-!!" Jax was blinded and stumbled over a bean chair.

"Fooooood fiiiiiight!" Gangle cheered.

Everyone except Zooble scrambled for the table. They grabbed random handfuls of food and pelted Jax mercilessly. "I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON!!" Jax warcried.

Zooble sat cross legged in a recliner, thumbing through a magazine. Not a spec of flying food touched them.

~

Caine and Pomni laughed hard together, out of bounds. Pomni has to brace against a colorful mushroom tree and wipe tears away as Caine held his ribs and kicked his feet mid air.

"So- so- okay-" Caine tries to talk through bouts of laughter. "So I said; why would the kart need more speed sets? It's already got three! Here, there, and GONE!"

"Oh my god..." Pomni continued to laugh. "I can't believe Kinger of all people would ask for that."

"Oh, believe it! He's more mellowed out these days, but Kinger was a real speed demon early on. Held the champion title for a record number of seasons." Caine took a steading breath, the occasional giggle escaping him.

"Could you add more speed of you wanted to?"

"Oh, definitely. The only limit is the game engine, but if I made everyone go top speed at all times, that would make the boosts and items pretty boring. Got to keep a pinch of chance mixed in with the strategy required to win a race. Keeps things interesting."

"Fair point." Pomni could finally breath normally again. She went to remove her hat to run her hand through her hair, but it didn't budge. She forgot she couldn't remove it. "Hey, um... what all can you do in the game? Are you really all-powerful?"

Caine was a bit taken aback and looked away as he cleared his voice. "I wouldn't say-....yes, I am. As the administrative AI, everything in the game is mine to do with as I please. The only exceptions are the racers. While I could certainly move you around if I wanted to, I can't control the way you act or feel or anything like that."

"Can you affect our clothes?" She tugged at her hat.

Caine looked her over, an embarrassed blush lightly displayed on the sides of his face. "...technically, yes." He wasn't sure were this was going.

"Then can you PLEASE let me take off this hat? It's a bit obtrusive."

"OH! Oh, yes, of course. Avatar changes are tricky, especially since- Nevermind, but I can help you with this." He put his hands on the sides of her hat.

Pomni leaned against the mushroom tree behind her, watching Caine curiously.

Caine focused and lifted the hat slowly. Binary code that made up Pomni's form was exposed. He ran his hand over the top of her head and the code morphed and changed color. Dark brown hair flowed from her scalp and glided between his fingers as he made it grow. The hair length stopped just below the base of her head all the way around. He smiled as he felt her soft hair slip through his fingers, his hand lingering just a bit longer than necessary near her cheek.

Pomni's eyes dilated watching Caine's expressions subtly change as he focused. Her head tingled as the hair grew. Caine's fingers brushing her cheek made her breath catch in her throat. Her digital heartbeat felt like it was trying to escape her chest.

Their eyes met, so close to one another. Caine's gaze drifted down to Pomni's lips.

"Thank you..." Pomni said quietly.

"You're welcome." Caine tried hard not to stare, but Pomni wetted her lips nervously and he shuddered.

"Hey, boss!" Bubble popped in.

Caine launched himself away from Pomni, hovering stiffly. Pomni froze in place against the mushroom tree asset.

"What!?" Caine said a bit too loud. His blush was dark red. Pomni's hat clutched tightly in one of his hands.

"The racers are destroying the garage." Bubble said with a smile.

"Good for them." Caine said, staring determinately in a random direction away from Bubble or Pomni. "Without a race, I'm sure they need something to do."

"You don't want to watch?" Bubble asked, mildly confused.

"Nope. Too busy. Lots of work left to be done on this new track if it's going to be used tomorrow."

"Okay, boss. I'm going to watch the violence." Bubble giggled giddily and popped.

Caine and Pomni both immediately relaxed when Bubble left. Pomni stepped away from the mushroom tree and looked over what she and Caine built. "You're right, there is still a lot to do. We got distracted there for a bit."

"Yeah, we did." He couldn't stop thinking about how close he had been to her. Thoughts of what could've happened if Bubble hadn't come in made his code buzz excitedly. He shook them from his mind and rejoined Pomni on the ground. "While there are still quite a few decorative assets to complete, the track itself is about finished. I'm going to sprinkle in a few jumps and maybe a tunnel for extra flavor."

"Ooh, how about a tunnel made of water?" Pomni smiled.

"I like the way you think." Caine smiled back and tossed her hat onto the same asset his coat was hanging from.

~

An entire plate of food crashed against the wall behind Kinger. He had barely managed to avoid it, moving his body back in a limbo bend. He was out of ammo and grabbed two cushions to throw back instead.

Everyone and everything in the garage was covered in food. The bubble chef kept making more appear on the table as the racers ran around upturned furniture.

Loo shielded Ragatha from an incoming jello mound. Green apple flavored gelatin went everywhere. Loo licked the jello off her lips. "Mmm, at least the food is good."

Ragatha playfully glared at Gangle, who had thrown the jello. "Take that!" She grabbed a handful of random mashed food on the wall and threw it back.

Gangle was hit square in the face, falling backwards. Her mask slipped, shattering on the floor. The sound of the breaking porcelain made everyone stop. Zooble slapped her magazine shut.

Ragatha nearly slipped on mashed food trying to get to Gangle. "Oh no! I'm so sorry! Are you okay!?"

Gangle lightly sniffed, gingerly picking up the pieces of her comedy mask. "Been... awhile since...this happened. I knew I should have...secured it better today." Her voice lulled slowly with a heavy rasp.

Zooble scooped up the pieces easily, then helped Gangle to her feet. They stood between Gangle and the others, not letting them see her tragic face. "Come on, there's extra glue in my room." They leave together to go upstairs

"Way to go, Ragatha. Now the mood is ruined." Jax complained.

"I didn't mean to hit her in the face! I really am sorry!" Ragatha called up after Gangle as the door to Zooble's room shut.

Loo placed a comforting hand on Ragatha. "I'm sure she knows it was an accident."

Ragatha didn't say anything as she brushed food off her dress.

Gummigoo shook mush off his tail, looking around. "Crikey, I think we got carried away." A bit of food fell from the ceiling and splattered on his snoot. He groaned.

"Without a race to reset the garage, we'll need Caine if we want this cleaned up." Kinger commented as he wiped undistinguishable food off his robe. He looked mournfully at the messed up cushions, no pillow forts could be made with messy cushions.

"Hey, chef?" Ragatha addressed the bubble in the room. "Would you mind asking Caine to pop over real quick and help us out?"

"No can do." The bubble shook in reply. "He's busy working on tomorrow's track with Pomni."

"They left?" Regatha looked out the window with it's blinds open.

"You didn't see them leave? You should pay attention more." Kinger said poignantly.

Ragatha didn't comment. She turned back to the bubble chef. "Come on, he can do it in less than a second. It wouldn't take much of his time."

"Nuh-uh." Bubble said with an even wider grin. "He's so focused he even has Pomni against a tree for comparison."

Ragatha blinked and looked to the others, everyone shrugged.

"...and taking off her clothing assets." Bubble announced.

Ragatha clapped her hands over her mouth. Everyone else struggles to pretend they didn't just hear that.

Jax picked up a plate and threw it like a frisbee it at the chef. The unhelpful bubble pops and the plate smashes against the wall. "Useless assistants."

~

Caine finished rendering a new spiral launch and took a breather. "That's the last of the track. This is going to be spectacular, Pomni! Thanks especially to you."

Pomni waved off his praise. "Oh, come on, all I've done is talk. You're the one doing all the work."

"My dear, creative brainstorming is a big part of what I do! The fact that you came up with most of this on your own, I'm impressed. What inspired you?"

Pomni looked around at the dark light colors and soft lighting. "I think I just like pretty things that shine in the dark."

"How poetic." Caine smirked.

Pomni smiled bashfully. "Maybe this is what I liked on the outside..."

Caine watched her carefully. "...how much do you remember?"

"Not a lot. I remember snippets and I dream, but nothing solid. Like, I can't remember where I'm from...where I grew up....if I had a family..."

"I'm sorry." Caine said quietly. "If the exit wasn't the way it is, I'd let you go back in a snap, but for what it's worth...I'm glad you're here."

Pomni wiped away a tear that tried to sneak out. "It's not all bad. The others are fun to be around, and you've... made me feel pretty welcome."

"It's what I do." He took off his hat and bowed dramatically. "Caine, Race Host Extraordinaire, at your service."

Pomni giggled. Before she could speak further, a large asset started blinking some distance behind Caine. Pomni saw it shudder and glitch, her eyes widened.

Caine got up from his bow and saw Pomni staring into the distance. "Something wrong?" He goes to turn around but Pomni grabs his wrist.

"No! Nothing! Sorry! I just, uh- had an idea! Yeah! We haven't made insects for this track yet. Kinger would be disappointed if we forgot." She quickly glanced behind Caine, the asset was normal again.

"Gadzooks, you're right! What an oversight! I know just the thing for a track like this, but I'll need your help." He slid his wrist out of her grasp to hold her hand.

"What could I do? I can't create things out of thin air."

"Not alone you can't, but with a little bit of administrative access..." He snapped his fingers and his hand holding hers glowed a dim gold.

Pomni's palm felt warm and tingly. Her gloved hand buzzed and pixelated a little before going back to normal.

"...if you can conceive it, you can achieve it. Now, visualize in your mind what you want to appear."

Pomni closed her eyes to focus. She thought hard on picturing a moth. It's what was on the top of her head. Suddenly something fluttered in between her hand and Caine's. She gasped and pulled away from him. A black light green and blue moth flew free, coming to rest on the trunk of the mushroom tree. She looked at her hand. "Oh my god..."

"Neat, right? Now, imagine... having that power with absolutely everything! The world is yours to command at a single snap." Caine snapped his fingers and every asset they worked on that day levitated for a second before going back down. "Go on, give it a try."

Pomni looked for the smallest asset. A pebble. She thought to herself: jump! She snapped. The pebble jumped several inches off the ground. "WOAH!"

"You learn quickly." Caine beamed. "This access will allow you to help me more in the future. However, it will only work out of bounds. Can't have you snapping things around active tracks all willy-nilly."

"Aw, and here I wanted to snap Jax into the nearest dumpster."

Caine chuckled. "As tempting as that is some days, it's important to show restraint. Yet another lesson I've learned the hard way." His eyes became distant for a moment, then he cleared his voice. "Anyway, would you like to keep making more?"

"I would." She held out her hand to him.

Caine gladly accepted it. "My power is yours. Show me what that beautiful mind can create."

Pomni could not get used to Caine complimenting her, as nice as it felt, the fluster made it hard to focus. All she could think of were "colorful night bugs". She snapped. A flurry of multicolor moths and fireflies and beetles flew from her hand out on to the new track.

Caine watched her with soft eyes. The way she looked in the colorful low light was truly something to behold. He ran his thumb subtly over her knuckles, wanting nothing more than to pull her in and kiss her breathless. For now, at least, she seemed very happy with her gift. There was real joy in her smile. That was enough for him.

~

It was late before Pomni and Caine popped back into the garage, right outside her room door. All was quiet, the other racers already settled in their rooms for the night. Pomni had her hat tucked under an arm, still wanting to enjoy her head's new found freedom. "Thanks for spending time with me, today. I had fun." She gave him a genuine smile.

Caine's code skipped a beat. He placed a light kiss to the top of her hand. "Trust me when I say, it's been my absolute pleasure. I should have you around out of bounds more often. Who knows what kind of trouble we could get into." He winks.

Pomni internally screams from romantic panic. Her face felt as hot as the sun. "That- that- would be nice! We could make a date of it! ...again." This time, nothing felt like just a nice gesture. This time, it felt meaningful. That maybe pursuing a romantic relationship with a gaming AI wasn't that crazy after all.

Caine could explode into butterflies and confetti. She wanted to make it another date! "Just let me know when. Give your fingers a snap, and I'll be right there." He held both her hands in his. "I'm so happy, Pomni. I'm so very happy to have you around. You're not just another racer, you're special to me."

Pomni didn't know what to say. She was happy too, but at the same time, this was still a crazy situation to find herself in. Part of her wanted to launch herself into Caine's embrace and never let go, the other wanted to run. She awkwardly swung her arms with his. "I... you're becoming something special to me too. I still have... reservations. I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear, I just...need to go slow." She looked down and away.

Caine gently squeezes her hands. "My dear, we can take this as slow as we need to. We can save the high speed pursuits for the track. Rest well, I look forward to tomorrow."

"Me too." Pomni gave him one last smile as she shut her room door.

Caine hovered near the ceiling, looking down at the travesty that was the garage. "Racers." He chuckles and snaps. The place instantly became spotless and tidy. He teleported away.

~

Pomni immediately checked her room for Abel. Relieved to find herself alone, she flopped on her bed and screamed confused emotions into her pillow. "What am I doing!? I can't actually be falling for him?? I want to leave but he's so- so- AAAAH!! Is he really interested or is it an act?? Abel said-... And why ME of all people!? I'm not- HE- uuuuuuuuugh..." She relaxed face down on the bed, eventually drifting off to sleep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

A blue digital countdown flashed before Pomni's eyes. It scared her. She tried to run from it. The numbers got bigger, the blue glow getting brighter behind her. More lights ahead. Two high beam gold headlights. The roar of an engine. Tires screeching. She tries to run to the side, but feels sluggish, her running stride slowing no matter how fast she tries to go.

Both sets of lights get closer to her. A panicked heart beat booms in her ear. The red door with the C&A logo appears between the lights. She throws herself through it as the lights collide.

Beyond the door was an office, but not the same as she's seen before. It looked like a home office. More modern. Papers and files stacked everywhere. Photos of faceless people pinned to a corkboard. Red string connected them. The C&A logo centered on the board with multiple red circles drawn over it.

The flat screen monitors came to life with red letters. P W P I. Again and again. "Pomni..." A feminine disembodied voice called out. "Pomni..." It came from a wall that was entirely made of mirror.

Pomni stared into it, not seeing herself, but the woman in the brown jacket. The strange woman put her hand against the mirror. Pomni felt inclined to do the same. When their hands touched, the mirror cracked violently. The reflection became fragments of visions that meant nothing to Pomni.

The mirror wall fell apart, revealing a black abyss beyond. One large green and orange eye opens, staring directly at Pomni. She couldn't move. Her body defied any instinct to run. The eye rushes her.

Pomni jolts awake with a shout, falling off her bed. "Ow..." She holds her aching head. She didn't feel like going back to bed. None of her dreams have made it worth it. She opened her door to find sunlight peeking in through the blinds on the main floor. It was morning already.

Pomni tiredly requested coffee from the bubble chef. She was the first up, having the lounge to herself. It was the first bit of peace and quiet she actually had in a while. Her mind was exhausted. Swinging wildly from one emotion to another, and dreaming about...whatever the heck all that was, had her drained. Her peace was broken by Zooble and Gangle being the next ones down.

"Good morning!" Gangle cheerfully greeted as she sat next to Pomni. Zooble sat next to Gangle with an arm over the back of the couch.

Pomni internally cringed at Gangle's tone this early in the morning, but kept a neutral face. "Morning..." She sipped her coffee.

"Are you feeling better after spending time with Caine? You were a bit out of sorts yesterday."

Pomni slowly blinked, trying to remember what Gangle was referring to. "Oh...yeah, I am. We had fun."

"That's great! Because Gummigoo seemed pretty upset that you wouldn't talk to him."

"I didn't want to talk to anyone." Pomni said defensively.

"I know, but he was REALLY worried that he had done something wrong."

Pomni focused on her coffee. "He didn't. Just...wrong place, wrong time."

Gangle looked to Zooble in a silent plea. Zooble shrugged. Gangle nervously tapped her ribbon hands together. "Maybe you should talk to him? Tell him things are okay? He cares about how you feel about him."

Pomni stared at her reflection in the black bean water. "I'll talk to him." She'd have to at some point. Abel would be back any time.

~

Pomni caught Gummigoo the moment he left his room. "Hey, can we talk?"

"Sure thing." Gummigoo felt an icepick of fear in his code but went with her anyway. He needed to know what he'd done.

They sat together in the stands, away from prying ears in the garage. Another perfect digital day made the quiet environment easy to enjoy. Gummigoo nervously held his hands together, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees to keep them from shaking.

Pomni sat back with her arms crossed. "Nothing happened the other night. You walked in. We talked a bit. You came around. I helped you find your way out. That was it."

"...that doesn't explain how scared you looked. You acted like I was about to literally bite your head off. Then you wouldn't even look at me the next day. I'm sorry, but I don't believe you." Gummigoo said quietly but firmly.

Pomni took a moment to answer. "The conversation got heated. You're kind of scary when you're angry. I'm glad you came to when you did." The memory of Abel's cold fury directed to Caine made her head hurt.

"What did I say? I really don't remember...I'm sorry." Gummigoo sulked.

"Don't worry about it. People do weird things under the influence. I still consider you a friend."

"Really?"

"Mmhm."

Gummigoo sat up straight. "That's a relief. I would've been devo if I couldn't muck about on the track with you anymore." He smirked.

Pomni smiled back. "Things would've gotten boring so fast."

~

Caine appeared right on time in full race host uniform. Fairy lights sparkle, falling around him. "Hello, my fabulous fantastical friends! I have a very special treat for you all today! A brand new track designed from the very mind of our own Pomni!"

"Oh, this oughta be good." Jax huffed.

"It's more than that! It's excellent!" Caine excitedly flew over to Pomni and held out his cane to her.

She looked at it with confusion. "Uh...what-"

"This is your track, Pomni. You should be the one to introduce it to the other racers." Caine motioned for her to take his cane.

"Ooo! How exciting!" Ragatha clapped. "Go on, Pomni. You can tell us about what you made."

Pomni slowly took the cane, trying not to look at all the eyes on her. "Uh..." Microphone feedback from the cane's topper made an ear splitting ring echo through the garage. She held the cane out at arms length. "Sorry."

"Already off to a great start." Jax muttered sarcastically.

"Um, the track today is..." She just realized they never agreed on a name. She had to come up with one on the spot. She spied the sparkling lights Caine had made part of his entrance and rolled with it. "Uh...the Fairylight Forrest."

As if on cue, Caine snapped and the race track title appeared in shiny, colorful letters overhead. They had way too much pizzazz for Pomni's lackluster announcement.

Everyone but Jax politely clapped. Pomni wanted to fall through the floor. She tried giving Caine his cane back.

"Not yet! They need to see it! Come on everyone! Lead the way, Pomni!"

The embarrassment was going to kill her.

Caine opened the door for her and the racers. The outside was gorgeous. A dark Forrest bathed in pale moonlight surrounded the startling line. The track disappeared into the iridescent woodland, small lights lining the sides. Bioluminescent mushrooms as tall as the trees gave off blacklight glow. Moths and fireflies flitted about.

The racers all gave whispered gasps and comments of astonishment. This was one of the most serene tracks any of them had even seen. Ragatha nudged Pomni with her elbow. "Good job, this is way more mellow than anything Caine's every made."

Pomni smirked mischievously. "You haven't seen the track yet." She raised her voice confidently, seeing how genuinely impressed everyone was. "Welcome to the Fairlyight Forest! Don't be fooled by it's appearance! It's as dangerous as it is beautiful!"

Caine lounged back in the air with his arms crossed, a proud smile on his face.

Pomni raised the cane to her lips. "This track is packed with harrowing hairpin turns, sickening spirals and mind-blowing multi-tiered jumps!"

Caine was falling in love all over again.

"Be amazed! Be astounded! But don't be caught unaware! For a great beast roams these woods, and it's hunger for racers is never saited! Can you make it to the final lap in one piece? Let's find out. Racers! To your karts!" A roaring applause came from the themed stands behind her. She jerked her head around to the crowd, like she had forgotten it existed. NPCs where on their feet, going wild for the announcement. The others excitedly ran to their karts as Pomni held the cane close to her chest. She was rather surprised with herself.

"You're amazing." Caine said from behind her.

Pomni smiled bashfully and held out the cane to him. "I learn from the best."

He took it, going out of his way to make sure his fingers brush hers. "Have fun out there, my fairy queen."

"Always." Pomni smiled all the way out to her kart, jumping in.

Caine twirled his cane. "Racers! Start! Your! Engines!!"

Bubble appeared with translucent fairy wings on their back and stuck out their tongue to start the countdown.

First light...

Pomni couldn't take her eye off Caine. He was looking at her so longingly that her heart skipped a beat.

Second light...

She winked at him, reving her engine.

Third light...

She could swear Caine fainted.

GREEN!!

She takes off with the group into the forest.

~

Blue static crackled along the bounds of the game, moving with purpose. Every asset touched by it blinked and glitched subtly. The static came to the portion of the forest where the antagonistic beast lied dormant, awaiting the racers to trigger it's pursuit. The static leapt into the eyes of the beast. It's cold silver eyes turned bright blue.

~~~

CH 1 PREV NEXT

[jo-harrington]

Insouciant (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Pairings/Relationships: Older!Eddie Munson/Reader

Warnings/Themes: Mutual Pining, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Found Family, Allusions to Previously Unmentioned Trauma (Eddie), Suicidal Thoughts

Note: I've been just feeling a way lately. Overwhelmed. A tiny bit hopeless. Unfortunately I have too much I want to do and write before I meet the end so I can't off myself quite yet.

And while this might not be something I do in practice regularly, I wholeheartedly believe that Eddie would. Especially an Eddie who's pulled himself out of the pit of the Upside Down and found a new future elsewhere in Hawkins. Finding hope in the hopeless.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

Insouciant - definition, noun or adjective. free from concern, worry, or anxiety; carefree. nonchalant.

"There you are," Eddie's voice is sharp and clear over the snaps and hisses and crackles of the bonfire that you'd been staring into for most of the night. "I've been looking all over for you."

You don't turn your head towards him. Instead you just take a sip from your now-warm can of Old Style and sigh, "Well it shouldn't have been hard. I don't think I've gotten up from this chair since I got here."

He snorts and falls into the shitty lawn chair next to yours, wallet chain clattering flatly against the plastic. Shit the plastic even groans in protest a little as his gangly limbs flop to and fro so he can get comfortable on this remnant of summers past that has been residing in Jen's mom's garage for the past too-many-years.

It's obnoxious, like him, but you like how obnoxious he is, so you have to hide your smile in your can as you take another sip.

There are a lot of sounds tonight.

The flat thunk of beanbags against the cornhole boards out in the front of the house, Joe over by the grill telling a story and the accompanying laughter as his stories often elicited, the drone of cicadas from the trees past the paint-peeling fence, and the bonfire crackling in front of you.

And you chose to stay right in the middle of it all. Sometimes chatting, sometimes laughing. But silent for the most part.

Together, but somehow very separate from the party.

Alone, yet overwhelmed more by the flurry of sounds--thoughts--in your head, than by your friends.

"You didn't need to come tonight if you weren't feeling it," Eddie offered and sipped his own beer. "Fuck, if I'd'a heard that someone else was gonna stay home, I would've too. It's hot as shit out here; I can feel my balls sticking to my legs."

You can't help the chuckle that comes out of you and you finally turn to look at him.

You look at him, looking at you. You see him. You've seen him all night, even when you weren't looking. It's not hard to see Eddie Munson. It's never been hard.

"You get what you pay for," Joe told everyone when he first brought his new metalhead coworker around to meet Jen and Steph and Ben and you at your first official Jen's Mom's Garage beer session of the summer. New to town, new to the state, with puckered pink scars along his jaw and arms, and a mouth that just wouldn't stop. "Which isn't much."

You'd argue that wasn't the case though; either part. Eddie was everything. The life of the party and a pain in the ass, with too many secrets to boot, but the longer he hung around Joe and Jen's group of misfits, the more he opened up.

At least, he did to you. Because you saw him. Saw the ticks and twitches, saw his little superstitions, saw the way he flinched when birds flew past him, saw the way he called Christopher the Dog Topher instead of Chrissy like everyone else did. There was something there, something etched into his skin.

You never asked, but he always told you. Because you saw him.

And he saw you too.

Which is why he leaned into the arm of the lawn chair and asked, "what's the prob, Bob? You said it yourself, you've been here all night. You're usually out kicking my ass at bags by now."

Your eyes dart back and forth between his, and for a moment you enjoy the way the bonfire warms and melts those chocolate depths.

There's a sparkle there, a spark. Some little bit of joy that was obvious even on the days when he was annoyed or cranky. It's there now, amidst the vast sea of worry he's aiming at you.

You turn back to the fire so you don't have to look at him anymore.

"How do you do it?" you ask after a beat.

"Do what?"

You're silent for a moment before he repeats himself.

"How are you so..." you fight for the word. There's not one that really matches him. So loud and unassuming all at once. "Insouciant."

"Gesundheit."

"I know you know what it means. I've heard you use bigger words than that, asshole."

"Ah, you're swearing," you can hear the grin in his voice. "That's how I know you're fine."

"Answer the question."

"Can you use it in a sentence please?"

"Eddie."

"Alright," he scoffs a laugh. "I don't know? Why are you asking me?"

There's laughter from the group at the barbecue and cheers from the few people out front. Joe announces that burgers are almost ready and Jen's mom asks if the cooler needs more ice.

"Because my shit doesn't even seem...important," you wave a hand at the fire. "And it still feels like the earth is gonna open up and swallow me whole at any second."

"And you want to figure out how not to feel like that?"

"I want to know how not to feel like I want to step in front of the Metra during the Monday Morning commute," you snap at him.

Well, not at him. At yourself. At...the world.

You close your eyes for a brief moment and then knock back the can and chug the rest of it so you don't have to talk. Once the can is empty, you make to throw it to the ground, but Eddie's hand darts out to grab your wrist.

His touch is gentle, thumb caressing over your skin for a moment before he speaks.

"What makes you think I don't feel that way too?"

You had considered that before many times when you shot, what you thought was, some secret look across a driveway only to find him watching you. Oftentimes you'd see the flash of self-hatred in his eyes before he turned away from you.

Because you saw him.

But even in that sea of darkness, the spark was still there. He would turn away and could still laugh at a joke or...start a story of his own...or...

Or...or...or...

And you couldn't.

All you could do was sit in miserable, numbing silence.

"How do you stop?" you whisper.

"Beer," he answers almost immediately. You try to pull your wrist from his grasp but he tightens his grip. "No hear me out. Not like...become an alcoholic beer. But I wanna go and have a Guinness in Ireland beer."

"Hmm."

"And candy. Did you know that the Tootsie Roll factory is an hour away from here and they sell 10-pound bags of rejects? I want to get one and see how much I can eat before I puke.

"And you know I write fantasies right? Well I used to play Dungeons and Dragons. That's how it all started. Actually, I guess this is twofold. I want to be able to DM a game with everyone for one thing. And I want to see if my writing is worth anything for another. Can't do that if I'm splattered across the Lake Street Metra Station."

You admit that he has a point.

"But how do you stop it from getting you down right now?" you ask. "How are you so..."

You struggle for a word again but Eddie is quick to supply one.

"Insouciant?" he offers and you nod.

You watch as he takes a deep breath, as he licks his lips and swallows hard.

"Because when everything gets to be too much or I have a bad day, or...or I'm literally back in the pits of hell having bats bite me until I'm ground chuck again...and I think it would just be easier to end it than to keep putting up with that bullshit...I think that I can't do any of that until I can find the courage to ask you out for breakfast. And that's exciting enough that I can forget about my problems. Even if it's just for a little bit."

Your heart stops in your chest.

And damn if he isn't right that for that split second nothing bothers you and there's nothing in your head or your heart except for that.

"See so when I do ask you out," he repeats and your heart goes from petrified to racing, "you have to say yes because otherwise I have nothing to look forward to anymore."

"By that logic," you reply slowly. "You can't ask me out because then how are you gonna look forward to our first date anymore."

"I'll just look forward to our second date."

He says it like it's the easiest answer in the world.

His hand tightens on your wrist for a second and it grounds you back down to earth before he lets go and sinks back into his chair with a beatific smile. He takes a sip from his beer and then looks at the bonfire.

You also turn and stare at it, beer can still in your hand, thoughts flitting through your head at a million miles an hour. Not doom-filled thoughts like earlier, but instead excited thoughts, worried thoughts--but the good kind of worry--and you...you smile.

"Hey!" Joe hollers across the yard. "Burgers are done!"

"Fuck yes I'm starving," Eddie hops to his feet and then holds his hand out to you. "Burgers, sweetheart?"

You look up at him and see that sparkle in his eye, and for a second...you can almost feel one mirroring his form in yours. A little brightness shining through the din.

And your problems are still there. The weight on your shoulders.

It might not ever get better or be ok. Shit it might get worse. You can feel it creeping in.

But at least you have something to look forward to.

Together with Eddie.

[readychilledwine]

Runaway Love

Summary - Amren and Rhysand's sister have begun to grow closer since Feyre took her duties from her. Amren, seeing she's hurting and needing time away, invites her friend to Summer, she just didn't plan on happened next or having to explain it to Rhysand - Tarquin x Rhysand's Sister reader - told from Amren's pov

Warnings - none I can think of. Lots of italics?

A/N - a side from some Tamlin smut, we are at the end of my maternity celebration, which means we will go back to our regular updates 💜 part of me wants to turn these two into more, but that may be a project for another day

Amren watched from the hill as Tarquin and you sat facing each other in the sand. Your foreheads were rested against each other, fingers laced together.

You two had done the one thing your brother had made Amren promise to prevent from happening. You two had left the seaside Palace late in the night, when everyone else was fast asleep and gotten married on the very beach Tarquin now held you on. Married under the watchful gaze of Summer’s high priestess and the stars.

By time Varian and Amren had found you, the ceremony was done. Vows had been exchanged, the kiss had been shared, the priestess had left. You two had been there, standing as the waves lapped your glittering white dress, just staring at each other.

A throat cleared next to her, turning to her own lover the ancient being sighed. “How will you tell him,” He asked softly. “He will want to know why she refused to come home.”

Amren looked down at you again, a smile forming on her lips as Tarquin tilted your chin up and kissed you. “I will tell him the truth.”

Rhys sat down, Feyre having left the room with Nyx as soon as tension began Building over Amren's avoidance of her mate's questions.

Violet eyes stared at her, waiting for an answer to the question that was hanging in the air like a cold unwelcome breeze. Rhysand rose a brow to Amren and Varian. “Do not make me ask again.”

Amren finally answered, voice showing no signs of emotion as she sighed. “She is not coming back. She is staying in Summer with Tarquin.”

Rhysand's gaze darkened, “And why Amren, did you as her chaperone allow her to make that decision?”

Varian answered, feeling the need to defend his own lover. “Your sister is a grown female. She does not require permission from-”

Rhys growled, gaze going to the visitor in his court. “I did not ask you. I asked my second in command why SHE did not perform her duty to protect my sister and bring her home.”

Something in Amren snapped in that moment. Her loyalty to y/n coming forward.

She couldn't help but to growl at the High Lord as Varian shifted uncomfortable next to her. "When was the last time you paid attention to her, boy? The last time you actually listened to one of her mission reports instead of telling her to leave it in your office?”

Rhys opened his mouth to defend himself only to pause as Amren snarled at him. "You have not given y/n a single ounce of care since your mate came. You even stripped her of her duties to her home and court so your mate would have a place." Amren settled back into the chair, not even realizing she had stood in her anger until Varian gently grabbed her small hand in his.

"They married, Rhysand." He said softly. "Unless you plan on ripping the bride of the High Lord of Summer away and starting a war, there is nothing you can do but ask to visit.”

The High Lord's face fell. “They-” He shook his head, “She wouldn't have willingly married him without myself, Azriel, and Cassian there.”

Amren looked at him again, her eyes then lingering on Rhysand's wedding band. “There was a time where she believed the same of you.”

His head hung in shame. “Show me.”

They both shook their heads. “We weren't there,” Amren said calmly. “They knew I had specific orders and made the choice to get married in the dead of night. By time we found them, it was done.”

Rhys stood turning away and walking to the window to hide the tears that were about to fall. “Then show me them leading up to the decision. Show me she is happy.”

Amren couldn't help the small smile, a rare thing gracing her face, as she thought back to their first day in Summer.

Tarquin smiled down at Amren, welcoming her back to Summer as he motioned towards the veranda where a table was set for 4. Cressida was there already, eyes wide as she stared behind Varian.

She stood immediately, telling a servant to get another chair and moving so she would not be at her cousin's right hand. "I brought another guest with me,” Amren stated coolly. “I hope you do not mind.”

A soft gasp was heard, followed by the voice that would haunt the Night Court until they heard it again. “Amren! You did not warn him you were bringing me? You-”

Tarquin was moving to her, to his mate, immediately, taking her soft hands into his. “Y/n,” his voice was breathless as he studied you. Eyes locking on your own the second he had decided you were well. “This is the most wonderful surprise. Even the sea has become more fair in your presence.”

Amren chuckled as a blush spread from your cheeks to your softly pointed ears. “I believe your seas only reflect their master's emotions, Tarquin,” you stated softly.

“Then they calm while my heart races at the sight of you alone.”

Varian had his own favorite memory in mind. One from a night spent on the Pleasure Barge.

Varian watched like a hawk ready to attack anyone who may approach you or Amren. The two of you had your arms linked, whispering secrets to each other as he watched the sheer skirts you two wore sway in the soft salty breeze.

You had not been on the barge before, having been banned from it during your last visit by Rhysand, and the two older fae were excited to bring you to watch the activities taking place.

Tarquin had come beforehand, ensuring the private balcony you would be watching from was perfect for his mate.Varian knocked on the door as Amren told you to behave as she went to their own balcony.

He opened the door and ushered you in. “I trust you have an idea of what will be happening here tonight?” Varian led you in by your waist, holding you close to him as the guards watched. “If at any point you are uncomfortable, tell my cousin.” You nodded, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you stared ahead.

Tarquin was standing there, his back to you two as he moved pillows exactly how he wanted them for the night. He had brought in expensive champagne for the two of you, chocolate covered fruits, flowers.

It was clear to Varian you had never been truly courted in that moment. You had never had another fae ensuring everything was perfect for you and you alone. That they had brought the best for you and you alone. He bent down to your ear, “Be good, little star.”

Amren had thought of another memory, smiling again as she heard your laughter echoing in her mind.

Varian and Amren had found a shady spot on the beach, enjoying cool wine and fresh fruits and cheeses on the beautiful, warm day.

The ocean was gorgeous today. Soft waves rolling in, a breeze cooling the air.

That same breeze carried your laughter as Tarquin chased you through the sand. The two of you had just come out of the water after you had decided a swim was absolutely a must.

Amren immediately froze as you screamed, panic setting in until she realized it was because Tarquin had caught you and lifted you into his arms. Your back was to his chest, legs kicking out as your head fell back and your laughter filled the air again.

“He's moved her things into his room,” Cresseida mumbled. “Tell me, dear Amren. How will Rhysand feel about his precious baby sister breaking all of his rules while she's here without him? Sleeping in Tarquin's bed. Wearing a Summer Crown. She is sitting with him during court meetings. Need I bring up the nights on the barge?”

“Let them be, sister.”

“Do you plan on dealing with him if be storms here with his Illyrians in tow?”

Amren rolled her eyes. “Rhysand has hardly paid y/n a single mind since Feyre came to the Night Court. She was brought here on that first visit as a distraction without knowing what was happening. If Rhys wants to be upset, he can speak with me.”

Tarquin was carrying you over, holding you bridal style as he smiled down at you. The tail end of his sentence could be heard. “Tonight then?”

“Tonight,” you whispered.

“And then they married,” Rhysand concluded at the end of Amren's memory. He sat back down, head in his hands. “Did-” his throat tightened as Azriel and Cassian walked in. “Did she look beautiful?”

“Breath taking,” the Summer general answered immediately.

Amren ran to the hillside by the beach they had spent the day on. “No no no no,” she kept muttering under her breath. “This damn girl-”

Varian shot an arm out to stop her. “Do not say-"

“It's done, my goddess.” He pointed down the beach. There, just barely in the water, you and Tarquin stood. He had both hands cradling your face as he kissed you. The white dress you had packed, the one that was lightweight and shimmered like glitter, was sparkling until the light of the full moon. Your hands were resting on Tarquin's chest, hair flowing in the wind.

You were glowing, like starlight during Starfall, as your foreheads came to rest together. Varian sat in the grass, pulling Amren down with him as he did. “Beautiful little creature,” he said, nodding down towards you. “and her beautiful chaperone should not take this as a failure on her end.”

Cresseida joined them, tears in her eyes as she sat next to Amren. “It's the perfect ending, is it not? A runaway wedding?”

Amren shook her head as you and Tarquin turned towards them, hands held and fingers laced together. As you walked, you looked up at him and only him, trusting him to guide your feet to your friends. “No,” Amren finally said. “It is a perfect beginning.”

Silence had filled the room as Cassian sat, and Azriel just nodded. “So, she isn't coming home then,” Cassian said slowly. “And our little sister now resides over a court I am banned from.”

Azriel nodded, moving to the window Rhys had previously stood in front of. “Did she say anything to you before you left, Amren?” Azriel looked over his shoulder at her. “Anything at all?”

Varian nodded. “Be happy,” the couple said together. “Be happy and take the leap.”

Amren held her own left hand up. There sat a sparkling large diamond centered in gold and rubies. “I will be packing my things as well, High Lord.”

Rhysand sighed heavily, nodding. “Do you plan on a year-long engagement?” The two nodded. “I am happy for you, both of you.”

“And your sister?”

Rhysand shook his head. “Her I will deal with later.”

Taglist - @kemillyfreitas @biancabldss @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @hnyclover

[prongspoet]

broken hearted | luke castellan.

first time writing for luke, so hope this is okay! tell me what u think in the reblogs i would love to know and get more luke asks!

summary: the curse of cabin 10 makes aphrodite!reader pretend to date her best friend so she doesn't have to cause a heartbreak to her actual crush. even though, at the end of it, she's the only one who had her heart broken. major inspo from this concept.

"You're staring." y/n' best friend, luke castellan, head counselor of the hermes cabin, pointed the fact out, side eying the girl right at his side, after looking at the boy sword training in front of them.

"he's staring back." the aphrodite girl said with a grin. the sunlight bathing her head making it comfortingly warm. luke would know, since he was the one caressing it while she laid down next to him. both of them on the grass, enjoying the late afternoon at camp. "so..."

michael dawson, ares' kid, was, in fact, staring. luke couldn't blame him, the way his best friend looked made everyone pay attention to her. she didn't even had to try. and still, the swordfighting happening in front of them made luke even more sure that mike needed a way so she could notice him. not naturally, but somehow, it worked, since the girl payed attention to him as soon as he started.

"oh well, like mother like daughter, huh. " he continued, in a mocking tone, holding his laugh, raising himself by his elbows, before taking one of his hands to the girl's arm. "your siblings wouldn't be too happy to see the goody two shoes dating an ares' kid, would they?"

"gods, don't fucking say that." she giggled, hiding her face with both of her hands. she went quiet for a second, still staring at the boy. "ares' kid or not.." y/n sighed, pouting slightly. "mike's nicer than the others, he wouldn't deserve to be a guinea pig."

"what do you mean?"

"you know what i have to do.” the girl muttered, with a soft sigh. she couldn't blame her mother, she worshipped aphrodite; her beauty, her power, her knowledge and her actions. that didn't mean that she enjoyed the judgment. the need to make someone else feel miserable just because she could. it wasn't fair. "the first love heart break thing."

"i'm glad i'm not in his shoes, that's for sure." the boy whispered, with a chuckle, still trying to be as quiet as possible. his thumb caressing her arm incessantly. it made her skin burn. in a second, y/n abruptly raised her chin, getting supported by her elbows, getting muffled groan from luke, once it hit his ribs. "what is it?"

"you could be!"

"am i your first love, daisy?" he raised one of his eyebrows, with a mischievous grin stamped on the boys face. the scar in his eye making itself more clear. "you should have told me sooner- ouch!"

"shut up, hero. listen to me!" he knew that tone. and as anyone else who had a single bit of sense, he kept quiet, wanting nothing more to hear her insane idea. "we could pretend to be boyfriend and girlfriend." the smile on her delicate face kept getting bigger as she explained her brilliant - yet not completely effective - idea. "i could pretend to break your heart. no one gets hurt, i can stay with mike after is over, and my mom ends up being proud of me!"

the aphrodite girl stared at him expectedly, hoping he would buy her insane plan, hoping he could save her from doing something he never imagined her doing it. luke got quiet for a minute. his eyes were darker than usual. he couldn't stand that. y/n knew her best friend well enough to know that he meant to say something. he never truly did. "you shouldn't be looking for her approval."

"i'm not searching for approval i'm just trying to prove myself.."

"you don't have to prove your devotion to her by doing this." his tone stern, more quiet. colder. "you burn offerings for her every single day. you pray, you're always expressing how incredible she is."

"you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

and suddenly, the idea seemed more appealing than ever. she wasn't using her charmspeak on him. no, luke knew how sugary and sweet y/n's words could be when she wanted to. at that moment, his best friend was just being honest. and even though he could retribute that feeling, luke felt that he needed to do it. just for her.

"yeah," he nodded. defeated. "fine, i'll do it."

"really?" the girl hugged him tight. more excited than ever. "thank you boyfriend!"

"yeah, yeah." he grinned, letting her rest her head on his chest, carefully watching y/n closing her eyes, like nothing else would ever bother her. "just don't be too mean when you dump me."

pretending was easy.

they've always been stuck to each other. having dinner with each other. burning offerings with each other. planning capture the flag with each other. training, swimming, talking, sneaking out to parties. always with one right after the other.

it wasn't supposed to be different, they just had to make it more believable.

"we should be holding hands," y/n pointed out as the couple walked calmly to the main area, where dinner was starting. "silena asked me why we never hold hands if we're dating, so i thought we could make it more..."

"real, yeah." luke nodded, grabbing her hand right the next second she spoke. "c'mon, girlfriend, hurry up." he grinned, and she couldn't help but grin back. "i'm starving."

luke could do that. he could kiss her in front of people, and tell everyone the way they got together. he could hold hands with her, caress her back and almost have a heart attack when she kissed him behind his ear. he could live with that, yeah. it was normal. it was pretending.

until it started to change. suddenly. quickly.

he noticed her. the eyes, the shape of her face, the way her eyebrows moved when she laughed, and the look she gave him every single time she entered a room he was already in, and luke couldn't help but pay attention at her soft hair, how excited she became while looking at pretty flowers, and especially, how her fingers felt against his own scalp when they needed to do some pretending. she was an aphrodite kid after all. y/n was charming. y/n was lovely. y/n was his girlfriend, at least for a while.

and she couldn't help but notice him either. how his scar looked more bright when they. the subtle, yet attentive and gentle way he taught her how to hold a sword, how to train, how to fight. the infuriating way at how he held her chin up slightly, every single time, before sealing his lips against hers.

and for once, neither of them were pretending.

the bonfire started earlier that night, but the couple came to it late; y/n helped one of her sisters who was in a small crises, and her sweet caring boyfriend waited for her by the aphrodite cabin's door, holding her hand as soon as she got out, so they could sit together at one of the logs, full of campers, chartering, telling stories, and enjoying the peacefulness that the simple event emanate.

luke choose one of the back logs for a reason, it was darker, harder to anyone else to see them. even so, as soon as the boy started to leave little pecks at her jaw, he was able to hear some whistles and exclamations. teenagers were gonna be teenagers after all.

"alright," y/n sat upstraight, taking a deep breath before continuing. "you can't do that here."

"i'm just having fun!" the boy said with a mischievous grin. he knew way to well what he was doing. she hoped he would do it forever. the teasing, the almost getting caught made her heart sink every time. "you are my girlfriend after all."

"don't get ahead of yourself, hero." she muttered, grinning at him, before sealing lips with him again. "i still have to break your heart."

"are you sure about that?" he furrowed his eyebrows, pretending to be offended, but getting right back at his job pretty quickly. "i'll just enjoy it until the time comes then."

she laughed, taking her head back so he could have full access to her neck, delicately taking one of her hands to his scalp. and he noticed how much he loved that sound. so much in a way he wished he could bottle it up so he could taste it every time he felt miserable. that wasn't possible. but y/n promised that as long as they were together, he was allowed to make her laugh any time he wanted to, if if meant getting him happy.

that's why it hurt even more when he did what he did.

when he revealed himself to be the traitor.

"come with me."

"i'm sorry, what the hell are you doing?" she cried out, feeling her heart beating faster than ever. "you're not thinking straight. you're not. you're not like this, i-" the words got caught up in her throat. y/n felt like she could pass out at any minute. "i know you luke." her voice was a mere pleading by then, hoping with all her soul he would hear. "you wouldn't do this to me."

"you mean a lot to me, daisy, but this is fucking different."

he was different, and she finally noticed. his eyes darker, his tone stern, and the way he held himself up, like he was prepared for a fight.

y/n would never fight him.

and he would never fight her, right?

and when luke turned his back against her, letting the aphrodite girl caught up with a sob, furrowing her eyebrows, feeling the tears already soaking up her eyes, y/n thought she understood.

maybe aphrodite didn't buy it. and even if she did, she knew it started out with a lie. y/n was playing house. thinking she could be smarter than her mom, she could prove it to everyone else how that curse was a lie, and that nothing would happen to the one that didn't completed it.

but it did happend.

no demigod could ever stand out a god. y/n was no exception.

and she finally understood that.

by the end of the day, y/n went back to her well known cabin, shamefully, missing her radiant aura and pretty smile, hiding a shattered heart in her pocket.

[oizysian]

Don’t Fight With The Birthday Girl

Summary: It’s Lizzie’s birthday and you have a special surprise for her

Word count: 2k

AN: I wrote this a few years back for Lizzie’s birthday but never posted it here, so here it is! Happy birthday to the loml, Lizard ❤️

•

"Elizabeth, your girlfriend's here!" Ashley called out into the crowd of people.

I smirked at the birthday girl's reaction; a blush and a huff as she approached us and pushed her sister - only half jokingly.

"In case you forgot, Ash, I'm married."

Ashley turned to me and rolled her eyes before walking off, presumably to find Mary-Kate and mingle a bit. I looked at the retreating back of her older sister before returning my attention to the woman of the hour.

"You look beautiful, Lizzie." I smiled brightly, taking in her appearance.

She was wearing a black knee length dress with short sleeves, her hair was up in a cute little ponytail and she wore very minimal makeup. She looked ethereal.

"Thanks, Y/N." She smiled, her eyes shining brightly with happiness.

"Did you open your presents yet?" I asked, knowing that I did arrive a little on the late side.

She shook her head and gestured to the table along the back wall lined with gifts. My eyebrows raised in surprise, impressed by the amount of gifts she'd received.

"Wanna open mine first?"

"Should I?" She bit her lip and smiled, looking down at her hands for a second before returning her gaze to my own. "I don't wanna play favorites."

I took a step closer to her, barely brushing my lips against her ear.

"You know I'm your favorite."

I pulled away, watching as she shuddered ever so slightly at the feel of my hot breath on her. With a wink, I walked past her, intending on getting myself a drink and having a good time.

At the drinks table, I met up with the twins who animatedly told me all about their new Spring collection that was coming up. They seemed excited so I couldn't help but be excited for them too. They were both a little tipsy, and handsy - not that I minded because we were all very close. Mary-Kate gave me a nudge and gestured with her head towards someone behind me.

"Looks like someone's a little grumpy."

I looked over my shoulder, spotting the birthday girl with her husband, chatting with some people I didn't know. But Lizzie wasn't paying attention to the conversation - she was staring daggers at us.

I shrugged and returned my attention to the twins, taking a big gulp of my drink.

"I offered to give her her present early." I smirked to myself. "She didn't wanna show favoritism by opening mine and not anyone else's."

"Oh, so that's why she looks like that." Ashley laughed, giving Mary-Kate a knowing look. "She's got a lot of ... built up tension."

I snorted at her words. Elizabeth had tried being so careful to hide her affair from everyone, but the two people she could never lie to were her older sisters. They probably knew about it before she did.

"She missed her chance." I turned back towards her again and gave her a small shrug and only a slight look of pity.

She chose to parade around as the perfect wife instead of getting her gift early.

"You're with us now," Ashley said with a smirk, sliding up to my side. "She'll have to get in line."

I wrapped my arms around both of their shoulders, pulling them close.

"I've never been with twins before." I laughed, and they joined in, all of us enjoying our time together.

I would never hurt Lizzie by sleeping with her sisters. It was all just jokes and I was sure she knew that. A tap on my shoulder got my attention and I released the twins to come face to face with a very unhappy Lizzie.

"Hello there, birthday girl." I smiled at her, finishing off my drink quickly.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She shot a glare at both her sisters before returning her attention to me again. "Alone."

I nodded at her and she grabbed me by the arm, dragging me away. I could hear the snickers from her sisters as we left and I realized they purposely got me in trouble for fun. Oh boy.

I followed behind her as she led me to an upstairs guest room. I was really in for an earful now.

"Elizabeth ..." I started, attempting to explain what she had seen.

She closed and locked the door behind us, stomping over to me angrily.

"What the hell was all that?"

"All what?"

"That!" She spat. "With my sisters!"

"We were just hanging out." I replied simply, shrugging as I sat on the bed. "Plus, you were mingling with Robbie. What did you want me to do with myself?"

"I certainly didn't want you to flirt with my sisters!"

"Elizabeth," I started softly, placing my hands on my knees and leaning towards her slightly. "I'm not fucking your sisters."

She crossed her arms over her chest and I held my hand out to her, which she chose to ignore.

"I'm fucking you."

"And is that all it is to you?"

My hand dropped at her words, confused as to where this was coming from.

"I should be asking you that."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're the married one, Elizabeth!" I shouted, standing from the bed. "I've been faithful to you this whole time! I haven't even looked at another woman."

Her eyes softened at my confession. She took a step towards me and took my hands which were clenched at my sides.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly. "I don't want to fight with you on your birthday. I'll just go."

I pulled my hands away from her, swallowing roughly at the hurt expression on her face. Before I could make a move towards the door, she was in front of me, her hands cupping my cheeks.

"Don't." She whispered, her lips pressing against mine in a fevered kiss.

I kissed her back, knowing all this tension and frustration stemmed from the double life she chose to live. I was just as guilty as she was and respected her desire to keep me a secret, but it didn't mean I was always happy about it.

I pressed her up against the door, my hands slipping up her dress as she kissed me sloppily, hungrily, as if she had never tasted my lips before.

"Do you want your present now?" I whispered softly.

She nodded and I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her panties, tugging them down around her knees. My hand slipped between her parted legs, two fingers ghosting against her slit teasingly.

She wriggled the rest of the way out of her underwear, kicking them away once she got them down to her ankles so I could access her wetness without struggling.

"So, that's why you're so grumpy." I breathed against her lips, my fingers just barely caressing her clit. "You're so wet."

"I've been wet since you teased me earlier." She squirmed underneath my weight, trying to get my fingers to move. "I hate when you do that."

"That's why I do it." I dipped my fingers into her heat, gathering her wetness on my fingers before pulling away from her.

"What -" She gasped breathlessly as I used my free hand to undo my pants.

She got the hint and helped me free her birthday gift from the confines of my dress pants. My thick, purple cock sprung out at her and she gasped, running her fingers along its length.

"Is this new?"

I nodded, sticking my wet fingers in my mouth and grabbing her hand, guiding her as she stroked it carefully, as if it would break.

"Happy birthday." I removed my fingers and smiled.

"It's too big." She whispered, almost in awe at the size of it.

"You can take it." I let her guide it between her legs, rubbing the tip against her throbbing clit.

She gasped softly, her hands reaching to grab my shoulders, letting me take control of her.

"You're gonna look so pretty with me inside you."

She let out a breathy moan that I swore I could get drunk on, and I gripped at her thighs, trying to pull her up my body. She jumped and wrapped her legs around me, the cock fully pressing into her heat as I grind my hips against hers, drawing loud, needy moans out of her.

"Be quiet, sweetheart," I whispered into her ear as I adjusted the cock between her thighs. "We wouldn't want anyone to hear you."

I slipped inside her easily and she threw her head back against the door, crying out at the intrusion. Realizing she was a little too vocal, she took a fistful of my shirt into her mouth, biting down as I slowly inched the rest of the cock into her.

"That's right, baby," I cooed, my hips jerking slightly with the urge to just fuck her like an animal. "Take all of my cock. You're such a good girl."

I heard her let out a pathetic whimper as I began to thrust up into her, the sound of our bodies crashing together deliciously loud in the quiet room.

"H-harder, Y/N." She whined, her teeth still buried in my shirt. For once, I was thankful that she wasn't biting me.

I knew that if I slammed her up against the door someone would hear, so I turned us around and clumsily walked us over to the bed, dropping us down as gently as I possibly could.

She released my shirt and took my hand, placing it over her mouth so I could silence her as I fucked her into oblivion. I pressed her down into the bed and slammed my hips into hers, the sounds of her moans driving me absolutely mad.

"You like when I fuck you like this?" I bent down and whispered in her ear, the disgusting sounds of passion and desire she was making fueling my inner fire.

She squeezed her eyes tight and came, her pathetic, needy moans stifled by my hand as her body tightened and jerked beneath me. I waited until she quieted down to release her, her mouth agape, panting heavily as she tried to catch her breath.

"My beautiful girl." I whispered softly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "You look so pretty when you cum hard for me."

"Please," she whimpered, her eyes fluttering shut at my gentle touch. "More."

"More?" I questioned, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Can you handle more?"

"Mmm, yes." She smiled up at me, rolling her hips into my own.

She bit down on her lip, keeping up the rhythm and I decided it was time for her to take control.

I flipped us over, her small squeal of surprise drawing a small chuckle out of me. She got comfortable on top of me, pressing her hands onto my breasts and lifting her hips to slam down into mine. I groaned at the power behind her thrust, grabbing onto her hips as she fucked herself on me.

"Oh, oh fuck." She moaned, her brow furrowing as her second orgasm built up inside her.

She threw her head back, a silent scream slipping past her lips as she came again, her wetness soaking me and the bed. Oh fuck.

As she came down from her high, she sighed contently, sliding herself off the cock she feared she would be unable to take. Boy, was she wrong. She laid down next to me, her legs dangling off the bed, and I got up, getting down on the ground in front of her and tugging her towards the edge of the bed. I wasn't done with her yet.

"Y/N, I don't know if I can ..."

"Shh," I hushed her softly, my tongue darting out to clean the cum off of her inner thighs. "I need to clean you up."

I heard her slap her hands against her mouth once again as my tongue swirled along her clit, dipping between her folds teasingly as her hips thrust up into my face. I gripped her thighs tightly as I explored her delicious wetness, her legs twitching around my head. I made sure to absolutely devour every inch of her, feasting on her as if she was my last meal, as if I'd never have this chance again.

I heard her squeal from above me and I knew she was close. I slowly inserted two fingers into her, her pussy tightening around me as I fucked her until her body gave in, sending her into her third climax of the night.

As her slick gushed out of her, I eagerly licked it up, doing as I promised and cleaning her up. She writhed on the bed and I placed a kiss on her mound before rising back up and kissing her fully on the lips. She was dazed, her eyes heavy as I let her taste herself on my tongue.

"Happy birthday, my love."

[zyafics]

hi guys! i wanna hear ur thoughts about what series i should write next. nothing is planned, but i wanna hear my readers' opinions so i can prioritize better <3

note: all of these descriptions i made up on the whim, and may not be the official summary, but it is the gist of the series

BROTHER’S RIVAL | About 12 Parts

Pogue-born Kooks, you and your brother aren't welcome to Figure Eight. Mainly because of Rafe. When your brother is determined to steal the 'King of Kook' title from Rafe, he's going to return the favor by messing with you.

tropes brother's rival, secret relationship, rafe using reader to get back at her brother, porn with a plot

DEAD MAN WALKING | Undetermined Parts

Injured in a shootout, you saved Rafe's life as a medical student. But when he returns, and the wound turns deadlier than initially anticipated, you might be the only person in the world who can save him. But when working together, it reveals more about your—and Rafe's—history, and how exactly it might be intertwined.

tropes mafia boss x doctor, secret identities, reluctant allies, plot twists, high stakes, slowburn

KILLER INSTINCT | Undetermined Parts

There are murders around the city. An unknown assailant goes around killing people without a definitive motive. However, when you and the new boy in town start working together and uncover the patterns of the case, you're starting to piece together that Rafe might be the murderer. Not only that, he also can't seem to remember that he is.

tropes murderer!rafe x psychology student!reader, sheriff's daughter!reader, boy obsessed, plot twists, slowburn

ALL AMERICAN SINNERS | Undetermined Parts

A pact shared between two people, Rafe and you have always relied on each other as lifelines, using each other to hide each other's dirty habits. But when something threatens the stability of this unhealthy dynamic, the extreme length Rafe and you would go to keep it together. And how it might destroy your relationship once and for all.

tropes coke addict!rafe x sex addict!reader, codependent relationship, toxic dynamic, us against the world mentality, porn with a plot

GOOD GIRL GONE WILD | ~ Roughly 8-10 Parts

You're rushing a sorority by deciding to ditch the good girl image in college. But when Rafe needs help in a class, and you need to secure your pledge, Rafe offers his status to help you get into your sorority of choice, for some lessons. Which may or may not turn into something else.

tropes frat!rafe x sorority!reader, good girl turned bad, tutor lessons, sex lessons, jealousy, porn with a plot

FALL FROM GRACE | ~ Roughly 8 Parts

Rafe has always struggled to maintain his father's favor. When his latest antic caused him to be kicked out of the house, Rafe turned to you for safety. However, when an opportunity arises to win back his father's trust, but by hurting you, Rafe has to choose whether he's willing to lose the only person who always accepted him for who he is.

tropes childhood best friends to lovers, i-hate-everyone-but-you rafe, rafe has to hurt reader to make up to his father, slowburn

here's a little poll! you can also send in asks, or ask in the comments, for more clarification if i'm not explaining myself properly (i'm studying rn and deciding to do this on a whim! <3)