#but i am Suffering from needing to see b&c in better quality

[littlelonghairedoutlawllho]

Bringing this old thing out of retirement because I’m looking for a Bonne & Clyde boot -- audio or video I don’t care as long as it’s not the one on YouTube. West End cast if possible but I will take what I can get at this stage

[londonspirit]

2022. 

Well, it has been a year indeed. 

Talk about rollercoaster. 

Looking back, two things immediately come to mind: the loss of my father, and OFMD. 

Yeah, I know, that’s some insane comparison. 

But once again, fandom helped me through real life horrors.

Losing dad was hard, but (yes, there’s a but) overall it was a relief. He’s been sick and weak for a while, and everyone who only remotely knew him, knew how terrible that was for him. He wasn’t able to do the things he wanted to do, couldn’t really do anything much at all towards the end. He was suffering a lot (as was my mom) so him finally finding peace was the best for him. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s what it was for us. 

The time after that was…weird. 

But we got through it, made sure mom was doing okay; and after the funeral life continued - as it tends to do. 

Everything was a tad dulled and tinged with grief but when I (finally) listened to Tumblr which kept raving about that ‘gay pirate show’, well things… changed.

I will forever be grateful for those i follow that they kept screaming about it otherwise i’d never checked it out. But I was fandomless, there wasn’t anything I was currently obsessing over, and I needed something to distract me from that massive loss. 

And by the Gods, that they did. That perfect little show, full of queer love and wonderful friendships, of beautiful sentiments and funny quips was JUST what I needed. It filled the empty space in my heart and helped me through the toughest times. 

I have lost count of how many times I’ve watched it by now (and will again once the UK will finally get it officially just to experience the SQUEE that will happen when it airs!). 

I love every damn thing about that show: its amazing creator, that insanely talented cast and the wonderful crew making sure every single one can shine and sparkle as they deserve!!! 

Nothing was ever the same after April 3rd, the day I left hanging with the most gruesome cliffhanger in a while and no renewal in sight!!! 

Once again I am soo soo glad for the friends that fall in love with the same things - but then again, this damn show is just soo fucking perfect and everyone else really need to get their shit together to even get close to the level of perfection that show has!!! 

The show and its cast has occupied my mind ever since (and will continue to do so once season 2 comes out so expect more screaming about it in next year’s review). 

But there have been more lovely and wonderful things - it’s almost as if this year wanted to make up for the pain. 

I’ve been to London again!! TWICE!! Six glorious days in the summer, and four in autumn. Summer was on my own, and boy did I enjoy that. Having time for myself, doing the things I wanted to do, being on my own with  my thoughts - there’s nothing better to recharge the batteries. 

But I wasn’t lonely: finally met some old friends again and got to spend some quality time with them; I saw one of my fav musician again, after almost a decade of not being able to do so. London in summer is gorgeous, London during Pride month is even better! I saw an amazing queer Shakespeare which I wished I could’ve seen twice; Come From Away will ALWAYS make my heart soar and I’ve spent hours in a beautifully immersive Van Gogh exhibition. 

When I came back, I even got to spent more amazing time with my dear C, went to see Queen - even though the one souvenir i didn’t ask for put me in quarantine for 10 days! (Still so thankful for 3 vaccinations and a very mild case!) 

There was a brief visit at B’s to see her boys and spent some time with her as well - it’s been too damn long since I’ve seen her (even though I LOVE her video chats when she can squeeze them in in between her kids!) 

Another London trip, seeing David Tennant (hating the play - a very first!), LOVING Letter Live at the RAH (beautiful beautiful place; def going to go back!); getting tipsy in the skies and walking all the steps!!! 

And just when I thought the year couldn’t get any better, there’s the chance to see the one and only Taika Waititi live and in colour! (Massive shoutout to the like minded and equally obsessed people that helped me secure a ticket for the show!) 

GAH!! That’s still a thing I never thought to happen! And yet it did. And once again, a new fandom always comes with the most lovely people - thank you, Twitter (even though you’re currently a terrible hell hole!) for connecting fandoms across borders!!! 

WHAT A NIGHT that was!!! Even though he was tiny and far away on that stage, that night will forever be seared into my memories! (hell, even just typing it out makes me grin like a loon!) 

There was one small hiccup as mom had to go to hospital for an astonishing four weeks, but she’s back home again and feeling more or less okay, so I’ll take that!!! (Plus, she’s gotten through her 1st Covid infection rather nicely, thanks to 4 vaccinations and despite everything else a rather healthy constitution it seems!)

And now it’s New Year’s Eve - another one for the books. 

Closing out 2022 on a more optimistic note though. 

Pandemic slowly but surely turning into an endemic which means less restrictions and more travel for me. Maybe even working without face masks in the spring. 

It’s getting there.  And I'm hopeful, and looking forward to all the things 2023 has to offer. 

For seeing old and new friends again. 

For seeing my beloved London again. 

For making plans and doing things and enjoying life to the fucking fullest because it is too damn short to not do all the things you want to do!!! 

BUT once again, I will not make too many plans, these days being spontaneous is the better way to do things without being too disappointed. 

So, for the new year: hug your loved ones; tell them you love them; look after them; make friends; let go of the things that are not good for you! 

ENJOY life as much as you can. Be it in big things or the small ones - as long as it brings you joy and makes you smile, it’s a GOOD thing!!! 

Here’s to a glorious 2023 - have the most wonderful year, my darlings!!!

[monk-of-suffering]

Vasectomy

I guess since this is supposed to be my diary I should cover this fairly big irreversible life event. Or rather my motivations behind it.

Be forewarned, I have strong opinions on this and in what follows I won't be clearly drawing lines between what I believe to be fact and what I believe personally.

The obvious one is "I am so fucked up that trying to rear a child would be desperately trying not to traumatize them like I am and failing" but then people always come back with "wElL yOu cOuLd cHaNgE yOuR mInD" so here are my background motivations that are immutable.

Genes

My genes suck in both innocuous and serious ways. I started balding in my early 20s. My hearing started on its way out in my early 30s. But the biggest one is my predisposition to depression as seen in my mom's side of the family. I've sat in a mental health support group and heard everyone else with bipolar agree that, yes, they would have genetic children even if it meant the high likelihood of them inheriting bipolar because, while it can suck and make life hell, it's not bad enough to rule out life entirely.

I've never felt this way once about my depression. Ever since I was 16: "I don't know if or how much these things are contributed to by my genetics, but I would not wish this on anyone else."

Antinataliam

To take the above a step further, I believe that not just my life but all life (as it is now) is suffering. And most importantly, you can put consent to being born. I don't

Personally I think that most of the big reasons that people choose to have biological children are selfish, but that's a rant for another time, one that I am far less confident in than "don't have kids, period".

Adoption

It's incredible to me that people, without fail, always say something akin to "you don't ever want kids?". I don't want biological children. As if there are not tons of children out there in the foster system, which fucking sucks.

Because it sucks so bad, many children in it already have their own trauma, and I acknowledge that. Adopting has its own barriers, but I'm already plenty trauma informed thanks to my own life and, as I said at the start, it I'm not confident in being able to take care of their needs, trauma or not, I'm simply not going to have children.

With antinataliam in mind, any reasons people give for having biological children could be argued to be the most selfish thing a human can do. But that's a rant for another time. My point is, there's no shortage of kids whose life you can irrevocably alter for the better. All you have to give up is the fruitless desire to (a) give birth, (b) most likely start from infancy, and (c) have your own genetic tissue in it, and nobody in the world would say that someone cannot love their adopted child as much as a biological one.

Fulfilling Life

Something that drives me up the fucking wall is the elitism by parents, acting like parental life is more fulfilling. Wrong. It's more fulfilling for you. Maybe you can't imagine a fulfilling life without children. That doesn't apply to everyone and maybe finding fulfilment out of the extremely straightforward "have kids" is a journey that you have to choose to undertake and just because it's not the easy answer doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Having a biological explanation for love or emotions of any kind does not negate them or lessen their importance. It does, however, remove the strength behind the ineffable quality behind loving your children; it's not ineffable because it's some transcendental purpose or pleasure, it's because you're programmed to do it.

I will never ever ever have children because I want to spread my love or raising children is not an experiment. It is not you molding a mini you. It's not about trips to Disneyland or how you feel when you see them walk for the first time or anything that gives your brain the happy chemicals because (spoilers) that's how you're wired. Raising children is not about raising children. It's raising future adults, ones who are going to have to navigate the world and its stresses and traumas for 80 years after you're done raising them –a timespan they are not able to opt out of– so the decision sure as fuck should be entirely focused around how they will exist then and not when they're in diapers or getting their high school diploma.

The world is absolutely fucked

I consider my antinatalism philosophical in that it is not dependent on the current state of things and even beyond that, the world is absolutely fucked. Climate change will probably kill all of us or at least collapse society within my lifetime anyway. Human rights are taking massive leaps backwards in my country. We're on the constant threat of world war, a war that would have advances in technology to use against civilians that are unspeakable in comparison to wars past. We have an entire half of the country that is either actively wanting or in denial about the rise of fascism. Healthcare is controlled by businesses for profit making it inaccessible in so many ways. Chronic illnesses are on the rise. Psychiatric conditions are barely beyond metaphirically sticking leeches on your brain and hoping for the best.

Again, not just now, 80 years from now. You can't predict the future but there's absolutely no indication that things are going to get better.

Retort: Future Partner

If my feelings toward my decision do not change, even if I have moved to where I think I could raise children one day, even if I'm willing to concede antinatalism, there's still the chance that I will meet a partner, someone who is compatible in every other way, but wants to have kids. Specifically biological kids. Specifically my biological kids. It would have to not be enough that they (if they were biologically capable) could give birth through artificial insemination or even do in vitro. That demand very much shows that the person isn't so compatible with me after all.

Whatever

I don't know how to end this and I need to leave to work soon. I have strong opinions on this because I have strong opinions on suffering, trauma, quality of life, and relatedly a right to life. I don't force those beliefs on anyone else but I don't believe I'm somehow "missing out" on life because I hold them.

I hope I made the right choice and, in the end, crotch goblins or not, that's the best you can do.

[lilsuzn]

MLQC Gavin - Fluff abc headcanons

So by the popular demand - I am back.

Just kidding. No one was asking.

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen's Choice

Warnings: None (the reader is gender neutral)

Dedication: @marytheredqueen

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

You need to trust me when I tell you that Gavin had indeed tried to find at least one thing he could dislike about you. Many times.

Yet your body seems to have no flaws. He checked quite a few times at this point.

Your heart is pure. Loving. Patient. Loyal.

Whenever you’re at his side… The world is at peace. No pain exists, nor does suffering.

You are his purpose. You are his equilibrium. Nothing matters as long as he can be by your side.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your beautiful eyes.

There will never be anything more beautiful than the way they shine before your lips meet in a loving kiss.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Him on his back.

You in his arms. Laying on top of him.

Your head rests on his chest, no matter if it’s your front, side or back that presses against his muscular torso - it’s perfect.

He also likes the smell of your shampoo… it’s just intoxicating for him.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

He likes doing things outside with you.

Attending festivals, engaging in new, interesting sports, indulging in some street food or picnics.

He’s a sucker for long, romantic walks too, soooooo

He takes you out to the festival. Buys all kinds of yummy food for both of you to share. Wins you an enormous plushie and then carries it around for you. While holding your hand. Tightly.

Then takes you for a night stroll, to then kiss you under the sky full of stars before you turn back.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He only feels like he can really express himself around you - so it will get intense. In all the best ways.

Gavin doesn’t shy away with showing you his affection, even if he tends to have a slight problem with voicing it sometimes.

His expression softness, his fingers brush delicate circles on your skin.

He doesn’t need to say anything. You know.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Oh he really, really wants a family.

Two kids… or maybe more.

A dog for them, maybe.

House with a big garden and a treehouse.

He wants to play and fool around with his kids. Put them to bed. Support them. Be proud of them… Everything his father never did.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

When you want something, no matter how silly it might be - it’s yours.

Don’t even make me start on what you need.

Because there are very little things (and all of them are about you) that could make him happier than seeing you happy because of what he gave you.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

It's not optional.

There will be hands holding whenever it's possible.

It’s as much for your safety as it is for his comfort. 

All these guys with eyes better don’t use them to stare at you. 

See this hand? This beautiful gem of a person is with ME.

Likes to hold your hand while snuggling on a couch. Or in bed while falling asleep.

Holding hands is like a physical projection of the bond that’s between the two of you - and he loves it.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He would blame himself. No matter what. It might be ridiculous, but he would always feel guilty for not preventing it from happening.

Wouldn’t leave your side. Would help you with anything and everything.

If there’s a concrete person or a group of people that caused your harm... Insert a very, very angry and strong bird cop with a gun.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

You would have a light-hearted relationship in which he would tease you from time to time and he wouldn’t be mad if you did the same to him.

However he’s not one to prank you. He would find no enjoyment in it.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Gavin loves to be kissed and he loves to kiss. All over your face. All over your body.

Any kisses are game. Slow and passionate ones. Heated ones. Sweet, delicate, loving, appreciating - he loves them all as long as he can share them with you.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Acts of service - He looooves to spoil his lovely sweetheart (you) this way. Wants to bring you food, tidy up your apartment for you, brush your hair, paint your nails… Just ask him and he will do it. Whatever it is. And then he will do things on his own initiative, because he likes to surprise you. You smile so beautifully when he does…...

Gifts - He likes gift giving as I already mentioned in G, but it’s no indication of love to him. He just enjoys your reactions. Prefers to show his love differently.

Physical touch - His number one and you can not convince me it is not. He’s a snuggly bear who loves kisses. You are just so soft and warm and he loves you sosososososo much. Would never want to hold this way any other. His physical affection is something reserved only for you. 

Quality time - see Q.

Words of affirmation - Gavin is not very good with words. Not that he can’t be when he wants to, but he kinda doesn’t want to most of the time. It’s uncomfortable. He’s feeling unconfident doing so. He prefers other ways, but when he does speak up… It’s the most adorable and loving thing you will ever hear in your life.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

It was your first 'real' date, but even though you both confessed love to each other, you weren't a ‘official’ couple yet.

At least there was no proper act of becoming a one.

You walk through the park on an evening of a chilly fall. Not many people in sight.

You just finished a lovely dinner date. Gavin even bought you a dessert to share.

And it just felt right. Everything.

The way your fingers were laced. How you both couldn't spot peeping at each other.

"Will you be my girlfriend Y/N? Please?"

He sure was pretty sure you wouldn't deny him, but he didn't expect you to throw your arms around his neck and kiss him the way you did.

"Nothing could ever make me happier than that, Gavin."

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

He’s scared of losing you.

Either by you walking away from him after discovering that you “deserve so much better”

Or by not being alert enough to protect you…

Surely, he would prefer the first option, but he can’t deny that both would hit him harder than anything else ever could.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Gavin is a little bit of an odd duck in general, but I think he has one major weirdness about him.

I would call it… A Keanu Reeves complex.

He doesn’t like compliments. Always feels like they’re far from true, because he always feels like he’s not enough and maybe even never will be.

Which is so far from true.

Like, Vivi, come on! You’re so freakin perfect!

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

He usually calls you simply by your name, but the boy has his moments.

Moments when he can help but call you all sorts of the cutest names.

Little angel, starry eyes, little munchkin along with the classics like honey, babe, sweetheart, treasure and my precious.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

How?

Often.

Intensely.

Calmly.

Comfortably.

Restlessly.

He just wants to be by your side. Any. Chance. He. Gets.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Moonlight by Ariana Grande

Because Gavin’s sweet like candy, but he’s such a man...

Or A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope 

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

Not at all. At least at first.

He gets better with time, but you still need to ask for it. He would never just come to you to lean on your shoulder and tell you what troubles him.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Well. A lot.

Because of what I say in X below.

He just assumes that you don’t reciprocate his feelings, because he doesn’t deserve it.

He eventually tells you about his feelings under your insistent questions regarding the subject.

And then? After he finally tells you?

That’s when it escalates quickly.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

At first he tries to keep it inside. Not let you see… But it’s pretty obvious since he doesn’t talk to you. Barely throws any acknowledgment your way.

It would take quite some convincing for him to tell you what’s wrong.

Unless it’s jealousy that is a reason behind his anger. Then he will show you just how upset he is…

Not necessary in a bad way, tho...

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s very proud of you. Always.

Even when you think you’re a failure, he still recognizes how hard you work and how smart you are.

And he also prides himself for earning love of a woman as wonderful as you.

But he’s not a show off. He doesn’t like to be in a center of attention. He doesn’t care for compliments or recognition.

He knows how wonderful you are and that’s all that matters to him.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Well, it goes without saying.

Yes. Obviously.

This is Gavin. He does it actively throughout the whole story like it’s the only thing he knows.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He’s not an expert in emotions.

He gave MC a blood stained letter and was surprised she was troubled by that.

Okay, let’s not sugar coat it - he’s not good at it at all. I said it.

I’m sorry. I wish it was different for you Vivi.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

I think in Gavin’s case it would be no kneeling with a ring type of thing, because he personally sees no value of that.

Of course, he would if you told him that that’s what you want, but if you don’t…

It would be a beautiful, summer evening. The both of you watching a beautiful sunset from the rooftop of a high building.

Last months you spent together were absolutely wonderful. Life with you by his side was much happier than Gavin could ever dream of… And the way the golden sunlight graces your skin is so, so beautiful.

It wasn’t the first time the thought crossed the bird cop’s mind. He caught himself thinking about it more and more often as your relationship progressed… And before he knew it, the words left his lips.

At first you were sure you must have misheard, so you asked him to repeat. And he did.

His beautiful eyes glimmered with so much love… just as much as you felt for him. 

How could you say no to that gorgeous man that adores you so much?

And after that, expect to someday come back home to find the most beautiful and meaningful ring in the world waiting for you to wear it.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Gavin is a man who enjoys simple things in life.

He likes to cozy up with you on a couch on his birthday. 

Watch a sunrise and drink cocoa with you on Christmas.

He obviously enjoys various sports, especially if he can enjoy them with you.

But what really, really makes him perfectly calm? Driving Sparky with your hands around his ways and your chest pressed against his back.

The feeling of freedom mixed the warmth of your closeness… how could anyone ask for more?

[tiaramaki]

Is it always God's will for Christians to be healed?

I've seen all three sides of this issue from various people and denominations, and there's some arguments that can make sense from two of them. It is pretty difficult to word the short answer, since if I say it wrong, I risk either sounding like one of the "everything is good and rainbows" preachers, or a heretic that believes that healing is unbiblical and we sin if we wish for good health at all.

Ultimately, from some interpretations of scripture and testimonies from other ministers and people and myself, I would have to say "Like many prayers, whether we receive healing or not depends on circumstances and certain factors; however, even though healing isn't always obtained, He will never place a sickness on Christians Himself". Let me explain.

When we do see Christ healing the people in the New Testament, He: a) does express His will for healing in Matthew 8:3 with the leper (and touching him to heal, to boot), b) expresses that some people had gained the healing they wished through their faith (the woman with the issue of blood in Matthew 9:20-22/Mark 5:27-34; the centurion with the servant in Matthew 8:8-10,13; the blind beggar in Luke 18:40-42; the blind men in Matthew 9:27-30), c) although interestingly, He also does this for the people in Nazareth in Mark 6:4-6 despite their lack of faith in Him (although healing is not mentioned in Matthew 13:58's account of that moment).

We also have had healings in the New Testament after Christ's ascension, such as with Paul in Acts 28:8 and Peter in Acts 3:6. We also see instructions such as James 5:14-16 for those who are sick.

1 Peter 2:24 is one verse I've seen and heard many times that's used for the argument of healing being His will for us. Some people have put forth arguments of it meaning a physical healing, others a spiritual kind of healing in relation to our salvation. The older Greek word that's translated as "you were/are/have been healed" (depending on your translation), ἰα��ῆτε, also is used in James 5:16. The root word of this Greek verb, which is ἰάομαι, which has two definitions according to the Strong's lexicon. One is "to make whole; to free from errors and sins, to bring about (one's) Salvation"; the other is "to cure, heal", thus both. And all variations of this word in the older Greek appears in the various verses I've already provided where physical healings have occurred (in fact, it seems more like the majority of variations are in relation to physical healing, 26 compared to the spiritual's 2 in the KJV according to Blue Letter Bible).

So from the looks of things, it seems that healing is something that God would see as good for us to have, since He has done it quite a bit in the New Testament. But not every prayer for supernatural healing is answered with that healing (I can count myself for two examples). So what would the circumstances and factors be for not receiving healing if we've asked for it?

One possible factor can be a level of faith. That's not to say that you don't have any faith whatsoever if your healing doesn't come, but different people have different levels of faith; some people need to build their faith to higher points to get a certain level of healing, like how one may do exercises to strengthen certain muscles. It's more of how we think about "big" vs "little" healings: diabetes we consider bigger than just a bad scrape on our knee in our natural minds (just to give an example) so to us, a higher level of faith could be needed. Jude 1:20 comes to mind for the instruction of building one's faith up. As for the level of faith, Matthew 17:19-21 is one example (the sickness came from a demon possessing the boy, and the healing came after it was driven out; the disciples could not drive it out themselves because, in Christ's own words, their lack of faith). For my circumstances with my health, I would say I have some need to build my faith a little further, especially considering my own fears I have because of them. I may say to myself that I have a strong enough faith, but sometimes even the words that I say regarding them make me realize I have some way to go before I get to that mustard seed level.

A second possible reason is the motive for your wish for healing. I'm going to be optimistic and say that the vast majority of prayers for healing are for good reasons and quality of life for us. But there are some reasons that can be sinful--say that someone with eyesight problems wants healing for "staring at cute girls/boys" (unironically), or to have stomach problems go away just to eat outside of moderation, or to take revenge or hurt someone. Having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes three years ago (with it developing sometime before that), it's brought on a lot of worries and sadness and fear for me, but it also has taught me the importance of eating in moderation through a less-than-ideal circumstance; my one uncertainty is, am I disciplined enough that when/if my healing comes, will I continue eating well on my own?

Another possibility is that the physical or mental condition one has could be used to help lead another to salvation, or to help oneself be or staying strong in the faith. Say that one has an illness that requires going to a place where many people are. There are opportunities to help bring the others to Christ, or to even build up another's faith through discussion, and no one else would be a better candidate for that. Or for another example, even though Asperger's Syndrome is something that's hindered me socially in many many ways (and I do gripe about it quite a bit), it's likely been why I've been so adamant about my beliefs and my faith (even though I'm sure it's been a headache to some people).

A mighty work can be done even without healing taking place or it being done when the ailment has progressed, which could lead others into salvation that way. Take, for example, Lazarus, who did not receive healing while living. Instead, Christ brought him back from the dead, and that miracle would surely bring people to believe in Him as Messiah, if not glorify God.

It could also be an exercise in patience on His timing as well. A lot of us nowadays could be reasonably considered as impatient because of how our cultures are and how we want things to happen as soon as we want them to. Luke 11:10 comes to mind; keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking even if it doesn't come to you in the timeframe you've set for it to be there.

This factor I've only known about through one minister's secondhand testimony (which is why I've listed it as last), but it's something that I think needs to be added to the list: if, after healing is obtained, the Christian may turn away from the faith for good, in which case God would see it better for that one to leave the world while still being saved. But this is a very rare circumstance, so certainly don't panic and immediately think this may be your reasons for not having received healing.

I'm sure there are other factors that may come into play, but these are all that I can think of so far. But don't lose faith if healing hasn't arrived; just because a package hasn't come in yet doesn't mean you'll never get it. He can also use your circumstances for good, whether for yourself or for others.

However, I will say one thing, and this relates to the last point of the short answer: whatever your physical or mental ailment may be, God did not put it on you. We live in a fallen world, where sickness and disease had come in by way of Original Sin. Even Christ said, "'What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead...? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?'" (Luke 11:11-12). God did not force my body to develop type 2 diabetes (that was my fault) or for me to be Aspergic (that was the fault of the natural world being as broken as it is). He does not give you or your family members cancer, or force unborn children to be miscarried, or made me get Covid to "help save someone from someplace far away through my suffering". But people who do say stuff like that (that one post about healing came to mind, and it drove me into a rage because of that one person saying stuff to that effect), we're making Him to be the thing that many, many unbelievers assume Him to be, a God that puts suffering onto us despite living our lives to Him. There's a difference between "what was done for evil, God will use for good" and "God gave this evil to you for the sake of good."

Sorry this took so long. Like I said before, I might not have covered everything (I've been working on this so long I'm starting to get hungry, oops), so I apologize if I missed anything.

[ssaalexblake]

for the meme: criminal minds, doctor who, star trek (choose any!), the west wing, buffy or angel series

I literally have no idea how to rank these in preference order, wow. I’ve been staring at this for a week.  

A lot of these show i love them when i love them and hate ‘em when i hate ‘em??? 

6- Angel. This is a show i keep revisiting because i really love the cast of characters (mostly), Angel, Cordy, Gunn, Fred, Lilah and Darla first and foremost, but i have nothing against Wes, Lorne and Doyle? Lindsay was a boring villain, imo, and they missed such a chance when they decided to play him off angel more than Lilah because i think they could have made Far more interesting points by comparing them, tbh. That’s a pet peeve but i have a Huge shitlist for this show. But i really Do love the characters, and on occasion the plots Do show moments of brief, utter brilliance but then they swerve away from it Every Time and it’s So Annoying. I did not mention connor here because literally Everything to do with him is one of those ‘brief moments of brilliance that were swerved away from like they were contagious’ things. 

5- btvs... I Love this show but a lot of that is tied into childhood nostalgia??? If i watched it for the first time now it’d be hard to get through because i’d not know which parts to skip through for ease of watching, because i have very firm ideas on what episode and scenes need to be muted or skipped full stop by now and i feel like my ability to edit the show to my liking May have clouded some of my judgment on its quality on the whole lol. But my version of the show? Where i only watch the parts i like? Way higher than 5 here. 

4- TWW, would rank higher but seasons 5 and 6 are very slow. And I have to suffer through the Sorkin Self Insert Character(tm) because it’s a sorkin show. Loses more marks for creating female characters to shove Terrible feminism opinions on so it’s Socially Acceptable b/c it’s a woman saying it not him. In the shadow of two gunmen parts one and two are two of the best episodes of tv full stop, though, and honestly, season 2 on the whole is one of the stronger seasons of tv i’ve ever watched. I also really like s7, unpopular but it’s well paced and by like ep4?? it hits its stride and stays that way the whole time. Though, idk if i’m the only non american with this feeling, but on occasion some of the every day american value politics on the show is so Batshit i lose all sense of immersion? Not the Big Plots, i know those americanisms because of an awareness of rl politics and it no longer surprises me, but the small taken for granted stances that they mention offhandedly that make me go... what??????

3- Criminal Minds. Just over half this show was... at best average and at worst just straight up Bad, but damn when it was good it was good. I’m actually still mad at Patinkin for ruining the end of the Gideon arc because i may not Like the character as a man, but Damn he was such a well written and fascinating character and the story they were telling with him was fascinating and it was ruined. Also, this show will always have a place in my heart for killing him off years later out of sheer passive aggression. Honestly? i could write a 5000 word essay on my feelings on this show on the whole and i could never hope to say so briefly, but when it got it right this show Really got it right, and that actually makes up for a Great many hours of bullshit i watched in the name of it. And since it ended Tons of people have started loving Blake and i am Vindicated. 

 2- Star Trek Discovery - This show only has two seasons so it’s probably benefitting from not having ‘been on air too long-itis’ but i really do love it. And, truthfully, i could pick at it because it’s made some Choices and done some Real bullshit, but others could and have deconstructed that better than me... But also it has some great stuff in it too? i’d just end up writing an essay, again, but imo the good outweighs the bad, and this is way more my Thing in style than the older ones because?? idk, it just is. (tho.... !Picard Spoiler! what Does the trek universe have against gay latin men named Hugh??? That is weirdly specific.)

1- Doctor who - Okay, full disclosure, i won’t watch a lot of the new stuff, sometimes because i find the writing bad and sometimes because it’s written well enough to be infuriating, But like, when i love it, i really love it? I can honestly say watching s12 was the most fun i’ve had watching a season of tv in at least a decade and It was so satisfying to see all the threads everybody had picked up on in s11 come to fruition (and, also, vindicating lbr) and to see 13′s veneer fracture so completely. But then again, i’ve always enjoyed things for their character writing first and foremost and imo, chibnall’s always been good at that. The fact that the plots make sense 95% of the time too is an added bonus i would not actually expect from any era of dw. I just watched ten work a phone by putting a stethoscope to it. The fact that i don’t actually feel it needs to make sense probably helps it placing this high in this very over thought random meme i’ve spent a week on. Classic who is Also great because usually even when it’s bad it’s funny due to monsters made of carpet and papier-mâché. I even like the cybermen as villains in classic who and i am Not a fan of them in nu!who (the whole frankenstein mary shelley angle won me over b/c it was an interesting take on it with how they merged it in with classic horror, but i’m not big on them as a villain. Probably helped that they were kind of a vehicle for the main plot more than there for their own trouble making abilities? i find the whole type of narrative based around them is said better with the borg in star trek tbh). 

thank you! i did just win the over thinking prize, though. 

[theangrypokemaniac]

Your whole Contest rant read almost like a parody. The Contests were the most popular goal for female companions in the anime, and the vast majority of fans of Contests were female fans. Likewise Misty had already gotten stale and dull in Johto, and Contests brought in better battles, storylines and character development. Saying they're all about being girly makes me think you have no idea what they're about, since most are abut battles and combinations. I doubt most will agree with you.

Oh, but Nonny, you don't believe in what you're saying since you won't put your name to it, so why should I listen?

It's a 'rant' because you disagree, not for actual content.

The nature of a rant is crazed disorder, but this comes in numbered sections clearly laid out.

More aptly, the first three words of that post were 'I hate Contests'.

If this view is such an anathema, why did you keep on reading?

Who's the fool here?

Whether anyone agrees with me or not is immaterial. Truth isn't a popularity contest.

It's still my opinion whatever anyone else thinks, no lesser or greater.

If you want to be liked, then lie.

I tried this method, keeping my feelings to myself, never daring to speak my mind, and where did it get me?

• Unfollowed

• Ghosted

• Insulted

• Blocked

• Shunned

Where is the incentive to hold back if that's the reward?

Might as well say what I want. I think I've a right to on my blog.

It is you who misunderstand. I complain Contests are vacuous and girly, and your defence is that they are for girls and most fans were girls.

Well, yeah. That's what I said. A show once having universal appeal downgraded itself to be toddler fantasy pap:

The anime began aimed at everyone, especially children and teenagers, but now, when its concern with fluff and sparkles takes precedent, it's a fantasy for toddler girls.

You tell me I'm wrong by concurring it's for girls, then you insist considering it to be girly means I know nothing about it.

Eh?

Girls got along fine watching Pokémon for years without being pandered to and infantilised by shallow spectacles like this.

Pokémon used to be for everyone, although because game-players were, and still are, mostly boys, what one saw of the fandom was largely their input.

• Letters to magazines were mainly from boys.

• If you knew of any fans at school, they were boys.

• Attendants to downloading Mew were nearly all boys.

The exception were fan sites, shipping and art, which were dominated by girls.

Then along came Contests, and that balance tipped, until we get to the point now that I doubt many viewers of the anime are male, because it no longer holds any appeal.

Why should they put up with a monotonous fashion parade when they watched it entirely for fierce showdowns?

We started with tough girls like Jessie and Misty, then along came the Contest blender, and we ended up with feeble vessels like Mallow and Lillie.

Ultra girliness is all very well on the periphery, or as part of an ensemble, but when it's the only stock feminine character available, it's boring to the point of paralysis.

Why should I be pleased a series with edge devolved into a mess of pink and cuddly cushions?

With whom were Contests the favourite female occupation? Fans?

What were the options?

• Tagged along because she was going that way (Misty/Iris).

• Contests/Showcases (May/Dawn/Serena).

• Lives nearby (Lillie/Mallow/Lana/Chloë).

I'm not really surprised at the result. I still don't see why this invalidates my take.

Amid your ravings, I am told that 'most are about battles and combinations'.

Most? Some aren't then?

What are these few about then? Vietnam?

By your own admission, a few are nothing but vacuous posturing.

Again, you agree with me. What's the complaint if I'm right?

What storylines? New Ribbon or no Ribbon?

And what character development? May and Dawn began wanting to be champion, and finished wanting to be champion.

Since that was the close of their story, any 'lessons' they learn are redundant as we'll never see them put into application.

Better battles? Better than what?

Have have you the nerve to lie that Contests are about combat?

The entire premise is showing off how pretty attacks are, not the strength.

Were it a display of power, as a normal fight is, people would be entering with teams of enormous hulking beasts, leaving the likes of Piplup bloody lost.

Some ugly Pokémon, like Gabite and Ambipom, are included, but because they've got some shiny move up their metaphorical sleeve.

Come on, man! The first round is decided on who's bustin' out the sparkles!

Every subsequent round may pose as battling, but you don't succeed by beating the opponent unconscious as usual.

You win if your 'energy bar' is highly than theirs, bought about by pulling off attention-seeking stunts.

Knocking 'em out is a blessing as it assures a win, but it's not the goal.

How is that battle in any legitimate sense when the very markers of victory and loss are removed?

Since beauty is subjective, the winner doesn't succeed because they are measurably superior to their opponent, or at least capable of thinking on their feet.

They win just on the whim of this set of judges liking their performance more. Another day, another panel, and it'd be different.

A real fight in a proper competition doesn't depend on arbitrary standards like that. You take 'em down here, you'd take 'em down in any stadium, any country. It is thus a quantifiable achievement.

In real life, we don't class a sash from a beauty pageant as of equal value to a black belt.

It's okay, but we know it was a matter of luck, whereas any sporting trophy comes from clearly out matching the rest, with hours of strain, sacrifice and suffering paving the path to that moment.

Contests involve no such effort. You pick what glitters and the rest is rehearsal. No need to enter a single fight to hone your skills.

Why isn't Ash eager to get in on the action then, if it's 'truly' such a test of combatants?

The answer is because it's nothing to do with his career as a Trainer. If it were, we wouldn't need the separate term of 'Co-Ordinator' to describe entrants.

Trainers train Pokémon, Gym Leaders lead Gyms, Co-Ordinators co-ordinate routines to be spectacular.

Why have different descriptions if it's exactly the same?

Martial arts, both in fantasy and reality, have a spiritual element. Those who dedicate their lives to it are regarded as having reached a higher level of being.

Battles share that quality. It's not about brute force, focus is place more on inner strength, in heart, courage, determination and loyalty.

A Pokémon which, on paper, is weaker than its foe, can still come out on top if it's prepared to go the distance and want it at all costs, compared to an apathetic opponent.

Simultaneously, the Trainers have their own battle of minds, picking up on style and mistakes, always ready to pounce.

Contests have no such deeper consequence. They are wholly fixated on what's flashy and external. Ice shards are no more glassy just because you really mean 'em.

Combinations are a couple of attacks put together to look nice. How is this refuting my assertion they are but ephemeral bits off fluff?

Why should I be interested in a career so hollow, and ultimately futile, since neither girl won, and now never existed?

Your also claim the ejection of Misty is warranted since she became 'stale and dull', as  if refuting my words.

If you'd bothered to read it properly rather than twisting yer knickers, you might notice I wrote exactly the same thing.

Perhaps it makes no difference. By Hoenn they'd rendered her a leaden blandness sucked dry of all that made her special.

I am not saying a Hoenn Misty would've been a more interesting companion. Her personality had to be erased before being allowed back at all.

I was mocking the excuse given for her exit, that she had no longterm goal, when there was no reason she couldn't participate in Contests.

A. If featuring them is intended as promotion, the audience is more likely to invest in the activity of a familiar face.

B. Just ruin her character if it's an obstacle, as they did everyone else.

C. Contests are a rip off of a competition Misty entered!

The truth still stands that had Misty stayed, we'd have no May, and in turn, no Max, and that's a bad thing?

In conclusion, you disagree with me by agreeing with me, so what exactly is the issue?

Since you fail to object elsewhere, I take it that the remainder is to your taste, and you also think Jessie was shafted, resembles a backwards country cliché and that May and Dawn should have won.

Not a bad dissection then.

[three-houses-text-files]

flayn/seteth

c-a support + paired ending

*warning: contains character spoilers. probably story spoilers too

c

Seteth: Flayn! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Flayn: You worry too much, Brother. S: I think a kidnapping is good cause for concern! I was so worried about you I nearly fainted. F: Had that not happened, I would have never been allowed to join the professor's class. Even from something so dire, some good did come of it. S: That is a dangerous attitude. This world is full of peril. You must be more vigilant! S: Please understand, I allowed you to enroll here only because I thought it best for your safety. F: I am very much aware of that. You wanted to speak to me of something? S: Yes, my dear little sister. You are kind beyond all measure, and you are the very picture of innocence. S: But, precisely because of these very fine qualities, I worry about your interactions with the others here. S: This year's students are...particularly eccentric. As your brother, it is my duty to help you with any concerns you may have. (pre-skip) S: The youths of our army are...particularly eccentric. As your brother, it is my duty to help you with any concerns you may have. (post-skip) F: I do appreciate the offer, but all the students and professors have treated me exceptionally well. S: Even so, there must be at least some worry. Please, you need not conceal anything from me. F: You worry far too much. There is truly nothing to share. And nothing for you to fret over! S: Are you absolutely sure? The idea of you suffering in silence is unbearable to me. F: Enough! I made it clear that nothing is wrong. I stand by my word. F: Well, there is one concern that comes to mind... S: What is it? Tell me! I will help however I can! F: There is a certain somebody who seems determined to get in the way of my friendships with my classmates. S: What?! That's horrible! Fear not, I will handle this scoundrel for you. Just tell me his name. F: It is you, Brother. Now then, I must be on my way. S: ... S: What was Flayn getting at just now? Let's see... I was speaking to her, I asked her to share her concerns, and... S: Was there something else? No matter. Fear not, Flayn. Your brother will protect you from all harm!

——————————————————————————————

b

F: Brother! S: Flayn, is something the matter? F: I thought I made it clear that I do not want you meddling in the affairs of me and my friends! S: I am not quite sure what you are referring to. But I promise you, I would never try to stand in your way. F: It has come to my attention that you have been running about asking people what they think of me. Asking everyone! S: Well of course I have. It took me quite some time. But for you, it was well worth the effort. S: I was able to confirm that you are getting along well with everyone. It was very reassuring. F: I cannot emphasize enough how embarrassed I was when I found out. And you have caused such a stir for those whom you questioned! F: Why, one person even said he feared for his life when you cornered him in the dining hall! S: The dining hall? Ah, I know the fellow you are referring to. Yes... I have seen the way he looks at you. S: I recognized in an instant that he had impure feelings for you. As your brother, I took it upon myself to test his resolve. S: I merely asked him if he was prepared to lay his life on the line for my beloved sister. F: He is nothing more than a friend! Kindly keep out of my social business in the future. S: I am happy to see that you are making friends. But you should weigh your options more carefully. F: Who I befriend is absolutely none of your business! F: Do you know what they call people like you? Overprotective meddlers! F: I am no longer a child. Are you incapable of trusting me, even a little? S: Of course I trust you. But, as an elder brother, I have a certain responsibility... F: As my brother? S: Obviously. F: Oh, never mind it. If you'll excuse me. S: ...

——————————————————————————————

a

S: Flayn. F: Here to pester me, Brother? S: No, I think I'm the one who ought to be pestered. F: Regardless of what I say to you, it is not as though it has any effect in reducing your worry over me. S: That is true. No matter where you are, and no matter what you're doing, I will always worry. S: But that's only because I treasure you so very much. S: Please understand. I'm not trying to hurt you. F: Of that I am well aware. F: I am touched that you care so deeply. F: When I think of it, it is my own fault that you have become so overprotective. F: I cannot blame you. S: No. The fault is entirely mine. S: You were still so young. I placed far too much strain on you, and our lack of resources was no excuse. S: Worse, I failed to watch you during the battle. Your mother too. We...lost her because of me. S: Afterward, it broke my heart to see how much you would need to rest just to survive. S: I swore that I would dedicate every moment remaining in my life to your protection. F(?): Ever since then, I have been afraid of falling asleep. F(?): My fear of sleeping is outmatched only by my fear of spending my life alone. F: Even if it cannot last, I want to live among my peers as one of them—as an ordinary person. F: Similar to how you and Mother coexisted with your own comrades back then, fighting side by side. S: Quite right. I know you must leave the nest someday. S: No matter how many ages our lives may span, I know that's the way of it. F: Father… S: Don't. F: Nobody is listening, Father. Let me address you as such just this once. F: I have valued the quiet days you and I have spent alone together. F: But I am no longer a child. F: Just as you and Mother met one another, and eventually I was brought into the world, I— S: I know. Please, no more. S: No matter what happens, you're my daughter. It gives me great joy to see you grow. S: But please, at least until this war is over, let me continue to worry. S: You're the most precious person in my life. I can't bear the thought of losing you. F: It seems I have no choice in the matter. F: I shall allow you to worry about me enough for yourself and Mother both. F: But only that much and no more, my dear father, Cichol. S: Thank you, Cethleann.

*i still can’t figure out who seteth/cichol’s wife was, but i don’t think it’s any of the named characters so far (i’m not entirely sure her name is mentioned at all)

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

While Flayn disappeared soon after the war, Seteth stayed at the monastery and worked to restore the authority of the Church of Seiros. Doing away with his old strictness, he adopted a tolerant stance toward all, and encouraged his followers to do the same. When he was satisfied that the message was received, he vanished from the monastery. Several centuries later, a man and a woman in ancient attire emerged to a Fódlan that had drastically changed. When she asked the man beside her if it would be all right in this new era to call him "Father," he said that perhaps it would be better to remain on the safe side.

[redknight3996]

A Summer Shanty, Part 4

~4~

It was over before he knew it.

One moment, it was all dark, clinging, and smothering, and the next, Gregory Louis Morgan was lying flat on paved ground and staring up at the gray sky. 

It was odd. It wasn’t a gray sky in the sense that it was covered in clouds, but in the sense that it was all just gray. It seemed clear, it was just gray instead of blue. The half-moon was still out, hanging overhead.

Morgan laid there. He didn’t know if he wanted to get up. 

He didn’t want to look at his watch as it blinked 4AM.

A person was staring down at him. He blinked, and they were there. If he had to use a color to describe them, he would say something like teal. Not quite blue, not quite green, not quite gray. Somewhere in a pale middle.

They were bald and their nose had been cut off. They smiled though, as they walked around him and extended a skeletal hand from the sleeves of their pale, hooded robe.

Morgan finally propped himself up on his elbows and stared at it. It wasn’t just thin. There was nothing there but bone. Pale bone from a pale person. 

He couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up inside of him as he took it, pushing himself up as the stranger pulled.

“You’re Death then,” he muttered. They were smaller than him, oddly enough. Short and thin, every inch of them a shade of pale teal.

“Very astute, Mr. Morgan.” they replied, their tone completely flat despite their smile.

“...Is this the end then?” He looked around the gray place. It looked like a blank parking lot. Paved road stretched out all around them, disappearing into the horizon, and dimly he could see the black limo driving away off in the distance.

“In some ways. It is the end of your trial, Mr. Morgan.”

“Ah. Ah, hah...so...so why? Why me? Can’t you answer me that?” He didn’t bother to keep the bitterness from his voice.

“You were chosen, Mr. Morgan, because of who you are.”

“...And...and what? That’s it? I was just-Who chose me?”

“I cannot answer that.”

“Why not!? Don’t I have a right to know!? What have I ever done that was-...No, no, I won’t get caught in another trap. I won’t…This isn’t fair. You know that.”

“It is, Mr. Morgan. You forget. Life is not fair, but Death is.” They kept on smiling. “All those who perish end in the same way. It all fades away. Everything they are dissolves into history soon to pass. All are equal in Death.”

“...That...I-I refuse to believe that. I don’t...deserve this. Why should I be dragged here?”

“Would you like to go elsewhere. There are other options. A car. A ferry. A train. Planes are rare, but some prefer them.”

Morgan stared at Death. “What? Why-Why aren’t you taking this seriously?! I-I don’t deserve to be treated like this! I don’t!”

“That does not matter, Mr. Morgan. You were chosen.”

“But why!? Why me!?”

“Because you are a billionaire, Mr. Morgan.”

He reeled back as if slapped. “I-What?! Why would-My finances shouldn’t have anything to do with how I’m treated!”

“Please, Mr. Morgan. We both know what your wealth means for you.”

“I don’t! I don’t know why my wealth means I was dragged to my death like this!”

“Mr. Morgan, you misunderstand what it means to be a billionaire. It means you are greater than normal humans.”

He blinked. “I-...I know I-No, what are you talking about?”

“Your wealth puts you above them, Mr. Morgan. You are among the ruling class. Name a king, Mr. Morgan, that has ever been a billionaire. Name an emperor that has had access to every continent. Name a ruler that has the sheer scope of influence you and your ilk have upon the world.”

“...Ha...so…” Morgan shook his head, taking a step back and looking around again. It was just gray, all around them. Where could he go? Was this it? He turned back, and stared into Death’s pale eyes. “...Mister-...Miss-...Death, please. I don’t understand. I don’t...understand any of this.”

“Then you have failed, Mr. Morgan. You lied. You seem to have understood that you were being taught, yet you did not learn.”

“...What was I supposed to learn? That...that I’ve done-...That America has...That people suffer?”

“Mr. Morgan. What kind of human being deserves to suffer.”

“I-...A criminal? Someone who-” Death was shaking their head.

“You have not learned a thing, Mr. Morgan.”

“THEN TELL ME!” he finally screamed, “Tell me! Tell me what I was supposed to understand here! I can’t just-This isn’t fair! I didn’t get what was...I didn’t-”

“Why did you not ask Pestilence to stop.”

“I-What? No, I did! I did, I asked her-”

“You did not look in the rooms, Mr. Morgan.”

“I-Wha-” He cut himself off. He was starting to repeat himself, he hated repeating-

“Why did you not listen to War.”

“That-I was-No, I was looking that time.”

“You did not hear her words, Mr. Morgan. She never mentioned any complex.”

“Because I-...I swear I…”

“Why did you get in the car, Mr. Morgan.”

“I...I had to. Didn’t I? My house was gone. Those two...things were standing there. I...I couldn’t just...Don’t try to blame me for that!”

“Mr. Morgan. Why do you think you deserve redemption.”

“R-Redemption? What...What have I done wrong?”

Death sighed. “Mr. Morgan. The tale of Ebenezer Scrooge is a critique of the wealthy and callous, yet also a tale of redemption. Mister Scrooge had qualities, Mr. Morgan, that allowed that redemption. He was bitter and disillusioned. He sought companionship. He knew the impoverished. His heart was hard, but it could be cracked.

“Mr. Morgan, you do not care.”

“I-I care! I do! I care about-About so many things!”

“Mr. Morgan. You grew up in comfort. You lived in comfort. You strove for comfort. You care for your own comfort above all else. You have companionships that you have thrown away. You have family you lavish empty care upon. You have music you love, you have movies you enjoy, you have homes you decorate. You have so much, Mr. Morgan. Yours is not a story of lacking.”

“...Then...why? Why am I here?”

“You were chosen, Mr. Morgan. Ultimately, it could have been any other billionaire. You were fortunate in that regard.”

“...Why am I fortunate? Why is...any of this good for me?”

“Mr. Morgan, no wealthy soul will ever see the Christian heaven.”

He blinked. “...What?”

“It is stated quite plainly in your faith. Wealth in this life is material. The soul carries none of it. Merely the sins committed, and those who have wealth, yet use it for themselves and no one else, are condemned.”

“B-But...But I do use it for other people! I...My company has millions of workers!”

Death shook their head again, their expression unchanging. “Your company means nothing, Mr. Morgan. You are damned. You have, they have not. You fear them. You hurt them. And so, you are damned.”

“But that’s not fair! It’s not! Why can’t I-Why am I damned?! Why-Those-You could have taken anyone other than me!”

“That is not the point, Mr. Morgan. You would have been damned without this visit. You are still damned, but you have a chance.”

“To do what?! Give up all my wealth?! Is that it!? Should I just die destitute?! What about my family!? What about my children!?”

“No one needs a billion dollars to live, Mr. Morgan. You have won Life, Mr. Morgan. You do not need any more, yet you still want more. You could make so many people happy, Mr. Morgan, but you do not.”

“What-What people?”

“People with hospital bills, Mr. Morgan. People who need shelter. People who could use your help, Mr. Morgan. People you choose not to help.”

“How am I supposed to know who needs help?!”

“Look. Listen. Ask questions. It is not difficult to care, Mr. Morgan.”

“IT IS!” He grabbed the front of their robes and yanked them close. “Why should I!? Give me one damn reason that I should give up my own money to worthless leeches like that!”

“Leeches are more beneficial to the world than you, Mr. Morgan. The impoverished spend money, Mr. Morgan. You hoard wealth. You are poison to your own system, Mr. Morgan, and to answer your question, you should help others because it is kind, Mr. Morgan. 

Their eyes were pale too. “Kindness is all that will save you.” 

“I-No. No, I refuse to-There has to be something else!”

“Would you like to know what Hell is, Mr. Morgan.”

He blinked. “W...W-What?”

“Want, Mr. Morgan. Hell is Want writ large. In many ways, it is beautiful. A grand city of metals and jewels floating atop a sea of molten gold. Copper, brass, iron, bronze, steel, gold, and platinum all reaching towards the heavens overhead. The unworthy cannot enter. It is exclusive. It belongs only to the wealthy.

“Hell is tiered, Mr. Morgan. The Hell of Gold is wondrous in that regard. Any can climb to the top to sit amid the platinum. All they need is the money to rise high enough.

“But all want to rise, and no one will help you there, Mr. Morgan. The people there chose to stay. They chose to seek that rise. The proud are conned and stripped. The intelligent are beaten and stripped. The strong are bled and stripped. All failures are stripped to the bone, Mr. Morgan, and the newborn start at the bottom while those with experience far greater sit at the top.

“Hell is not fair, Mr. Morgan, but those with power could make it better. It does not have to be what it is.”

Morgan stared at Death. His grip loosened.

“Y-You’re just...y-you’re...I...I need to...H-Hell...c-can’t be real...but then what...I don’t…” Morgan swallowed. He felt something inside of him crumble. “...I want...to leave. I don’t want to be here anymore. Please. Please, just...please let me go home.”

“Of course, Mr. Morgan. You have that privilege.”

Death stepped back from him, their robes melting through his fingers, their skeletal hands at their sides. They smiled again, cold and kind.

“I hope you are a different man when next we meet, Mr. Morgan. Best of luck.”

[weshallneverrevolt]

B&C Behind the Scenes: Retro Video Capture On a Budget

People who follow Bread and Circuses know that the blog is dedicated almost entirely to pop culture analysis. But people who are my friends also know that I’m a huge geek for computer hardware. So today, you’ll get you a man who can do both. This is my first behind the scenes feature, where I talk about crazy learning experiences in being a small-time YouTuber. This piece will be very technical, so I don’t blame you for skipping it.

The next project for Bread and Circuses is a full documentary and retrospective on Final Fantasy IX (2000, PlayStation), maybe the most important game in my life and one of the best RPGs ever made. Due to the scope of the video, I’m replaying all the original Final Fantasy games for the original PlayStation to jog my memory and give context for the less researchy parts. I am doing this on original hardware and a tube TV, without resorting to emulation or the re-releases. And I’ll be recording the entire game.

The choice for original hardware came for a few reasons. For one, the newer ports of Final Fantasy games are…mixed, at best. IX’s updated ports feature higher quality models and cutscenes, but the backgrounds are blurry, the new fonts and interface are hideous, and the overall “feel” of the original game is somewhat lost. As inspiration for writing the script, I also want the nostalgic experience of how I first experienced the game.

With that being said, I had a major hurdle to overcome: how do I record 50+ hours of gameplay from a 1995 console?

Step 1: Capture Setup

Most game capture these days is done in two ways: via the device playing the game, or via a capture card. The first method is quite easy on PC: you just fire up Open Broadcaster Suite, use a quick setup guide and you’re good to go. This is what I’ve done for all my videos thus far.

For modern consoles, you can use an HDMI capture card like the Elgato HD60. The cards aren’t exactly cheap, but they’re affordable enough for most streamers and let’s players.

But there’s one problem: both the original PlayStation and PlayStation 2 do not have HDMI output. The early model PS3s can play PS1 games and have native HDMI, but they are rare, expensive, and often break.

While you can buy HDMI adapters for the OG PlayStation, they are spotty in quality and present yet another challenge: such adapters often introduce noticeable input lag. Though FFIX is not a fast-paced game, the lag is still bothersome. They also don’t work with my tube TV, which is critical for my desired creative process.

That leaves me with two capture options: composite or S-Video. Composite video is the little yellow guy you used to plug into your tube TV. It looks decent on those, but when captured digitally, the blurriness and drab colors are immediately apparent. It’s for this reason that I purchased S-video cables; without going into boring technical detail, S-Video delivers far richer colors. Because the adapter includes both, I can output to my TV and computer at the same time with no additional equipment!

Speaking of adapters, the PS2 also has the option to output component video, arguably the best analog video available. While capture solutions exist for component video, my tube TV does not accept it. So to use component, I would need a system of complicated adapters and converters to both record on my computer and play on my TV at the same time. It’s too much hassle for not enough results.

So instead, I did some research and bought this little guy: the Hauppauge USB Live-2. There are many adapters like it, but Hauppauge has brand recognition in this area. This adapter also uses 4:2:2 chroma subsampling, meaning that it sacrifices very little in color depth compared to some cheaper models. It plugs into any USB port.

My tube TV only supports mono sound, which means it only needs one audio cable. I hooked up the left channel (white cable) to my TV, and the right channel (red cable) to my capture card. When outputting FFIX in mono mode, both devices receive the same sounds, and the music doesn’t suffer from missing stereo effects. Perfection.

Step 2: PS1 or PS2?

So as most people know, the PlayStation 2 is backwards compatible with original PlayStation games. The method by which this is done, however, differs based on the model.

Early PS2s have an actual PS1 processor on their motherboard. For the PS2 it’s used for sound and input/output, but when playing a PS1 game this CPU is instead, providing nearly perfect PS1 support. Sony actually did the same thing with the first PS3, but soon realized it was very expensive and scrapped it.

For later models of the PS2 – the slimlines – Sony switched to software emulation to save costs and space. The software emulation works very well, but it is just that: emulation. It is very rare for emulators to be literally perfect replications of the original experience, and Sony’s for the PS2 – called POPS – is not 100% accurate. I also don’t have a slim, so there’s that.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I first dug out my old PlayStation 1, purchased new in 1998. While the system itself still works shockingly well (despite some skipping during movies), I quickly ran into a problem: the PS1 outputs at 240p. For the uninitiated, video nomenclature like 240p refers to the number of lines in the image along with the scan type. So 240p means there are 240 lines of pixels in the image, and they are updated progressively, meaning all at once.

Older tube TVs can accept 240p input, but output it in interlaced form. This means that the TV quickly updates every other line of the image, rather than the entire image at once. It works pretty good for this type of TV, but on a modern monitor introduces some problems…which I’ll get to in a bit.

Image from dummies.com. Fitting.

However, this was a problem for me because my new capture card did not accept 240p input. I tried countless times to get it to accept PS1 video, and it just didn’t work. However, I noticed that my PS2 did. That’s because the PS2 outputs by default at 480i, an interlaced mode that my capture card accepted.

So I opted to use my “fat” PS2 instead, which is a SCPH-30001 model, purchased new in 2001. It includes the original PlayStation chip, and – to my enormous surprise – read my original Final Fantasy IX CDs perfectly. Because the PS2 accepts PS1 controllers and PS1 memory cards, it was an almost flawless version of the original PS1 experience. Awesome!

Step 3: Recording

With setup out of the way, I got to the final step of the project: actually recording digital video.

I use Open Broadcaster Software (OBS) for all my video and streaming projects. It’s free, powerful, and pretty fast. My capture device was immediately detected by OBS, but there was one immediate problem.

Remember the interlacing I mentioned earlier? When you display interlaced video on a progressive screen – AKA any modern flat-panel monitor – you get a horribly ugly effect where the video seems to be ripping itself apart. This is called combing, and it sucks. Thankfully, OBS supports native deinterlacing, so I was able to fix it right up.

That being said, let’s break down the different parts of recording with OBS:

Resolution: the PS2 outputs in 720x480 pixels, but my videos are at 1920x1080. However, recording at 1080p requires more hardware power, so I get more definition at the expense of less overall quality. I chose instead to record at 720p, which is closer to the PS2’s native resolution and allows me to capture better colors with less blur.

Framerate: this is where things got interesting. I master all of my videos at 60 frames per second. Very, very few PS1/2 games (FFIX included) hit 60fps, because the hardware of the time just wasn’t capable of rendering graphics that fast. However, they do output at a 60 hertz refresh rate, meaning that the image updates 60 times per second even if the console doesn’t actually produce new frames that fast. So if you record at under 60fps, you get noticeable judder in your footage. That being said, 60fps was a requirement.

Encoding: I wanted to get the highest possible quality picture. My computer has a Ryzen 5 1600 processor – a capable mid-range CPU – and is excellent at software video encoding. I used the OBS x264 encoder running at medium quality. Any higher than medium and I started experiencing skipping footage as my CPU went to 100% utilization. I gotta admit, it’s pretty cool hearing my computer fans kick into overdrive as the CPU is pushed to its limits.

Bitrate: I’m recording a lot of footage here, so while I needed high quality, I also have to keep storage limitations in mind. I did some experimenting and decided on a bitrate of 9000kbps, still above YouTube quality while also saving space. This also means that each hour of footage is about 4GB; given that FFIX is about 40 hours long, that means roughly 160GB of footage for the game. Not bad, considering.

Deinterlacing: OBS presents a slew of options for deinterlacing your footage, and the differences can be tough to spot. The only option that gave me zero trouble – no juddering or excessive blur – was Yasif 2x. I also increased the brightness and saturation to make up for some of the analog video deficiencies.

I’ve included sample footage below, along with pictures of my setup. If you’re an aspiring retro YouTuber or streamer, feel free to PM me with any questions. This stuff was kinda intimidating to figure out and I’m happy to help!

Until then, I’ll be in Gaia. Or Terra, once I hit Disc 3.

Jon

Full Setup

Cable Routing Detail

The TV inputs run through this old AV hub I dug up from my teenage bedroom. This lets me run the cables behind my desk to keep things a bit neater. I say a bit because you can still see the cables back there, but that’s showbiz, baby.

Sample Footage

[narhinafan]

Uchiha Month Nov 7th - Sasuke Uchiha

a) Better team for Sasuke: Team Taka vs Team 7?

Team Taka the only person who really cares for Sasuke on team 7 is Naruto, but he makes a great rival, but Sasuke needs people who can give him a bit more love. Karin will make sure of it and Jugo cares enough about Sasuke to want to help him with whatever and Suigetsu while not as caring as the other two sees Sasuke as comrade and will always have his back. But I think the biggest thing is that makes this the best team is that Sasuke sees them as equals. The only down side the team has is that none of them really tried to stop Sasuke when went deeper into darkness though they were worried.

As for team 7 the teacher doesn’t give his students as much attention as they deserve if he gave Sasuke the comrade talk sooner it would have let him come to terms with his hatred. But nope he talks about how his comrades are all dead and only after Sasuke is ready to go off the deep end, despite knowing how crazy he was about Itachi. And then Sakura the fangirl who gives two shits about other then being some trophy and can’t give any other reason to love him besides him being cool. Naruto isn’t the best, but unlike the rest he genuinely cares for Sasuke and wants the best for him, Naruto kind of the voice of reason there to stop Sasuke from going to far.

b) Best moment of character development?

When he saves Karin when they hunt the eight tails I feel the way he thought back to team 7 and truly came to see Taka as teammates showed how much he’s grown. Before that they were nothing, but tools. Too be fair he did end up going back and beyond the deep end, but this moment made me think that a bit of the old Sasuke was still alive and that he truly was letting go of his hatred and then when I think about what happend next at the Kage summit I think this moment also symbolises his hesitation before he truly made up his mind. 

c) Best and worst quality

Is cold, but underneath it all is a heart of gold. Sasuke was always the first to act to protect people and shows worry for those he cares about. Sasuke was never always about revenge he had a good side which was buried under all the darkness. As for worse Sasuke being anti-social I feel if he opened up a bit more he could have been saved from so many tragedies. If he opened up and realises there was more to life then revenge he would have changed his reason to go after Itachi to wanting to give justice, this opens a route where he finds out the truth without killing his only brother. 

d) Otp, brotp and notp

Karin while her character does have some similarity's with Sakura, Karin had a better reason for loving him besides his looks and wanted to support him. She was also alright with Sasuke being with Sakura, like a good friend would be despite Sakura having kept Karin existences from her daughter who Karin helped give birth to. My point is Karin would be someone who could give Sasuke real love while also not obsessing over him and having her own life. She would care about what is good for him and not just be fine as long as she gets his clan name.

brotp Naruto, like now they are close and great friends, but when the two fight together on the same side talk about epic. I feel there relationship is built from both knowing true sadness and being able to understand each others pain, but also the many trials they faced as made them true brothers. 

notp SasuHina is the worse like Sasuke definitely needs someone kind to give him the love he never really had, but the thing is I can’t see him giving the same in return. When I think of the two together I just see Hinata suffering, because Sasuke doesn’t really show his affection, he also acts like the very clan that abused her for years. The relationship would be too one sided with Hinata giving everything, but never getting back and I feel it would break her. 

SasuSaku is a close second cause it is really the same except Sasuke is the one suffering from having someone who truly doesn’t care for him. 

e) his unfair ending

Sasuke deserved better, I did want him to have family, but when I see him he looks so sad that I can’t help, but think Sakura forced it on him and took away his chance to know what having a truly family again is like. The worse though is he seems to truly love Sarada on some level, but Sakura presence prevents him from acting like the father he wants to be. 

I am hoping that the reason he spent 7 years away was because he has second family somewhere far away who loves and cares for him much more then Sakura does. 

[mediocregeek-blog]

Ike and Camilla C-S Support

I know that this is longer than the standard the Support...but whatever.

C Support

Camilla:  Oh Ike, dear!  You were just the man I was looking for. Ike:  Ah, Princess Camilla.  What can I do for you? Camilla:  A notorious hero such as yourself doesn't need to be so formal with me.  Your legends speak volumes.  Please, just address me as Camilla. Ike:  Very well then, what can I do for you Camilla? Camilla:  You are a Legendary Hero correct? Ike:  Legendary?  I'm not so sure about that. Camilla:  Handsome and humble, I like that.  But please, don't be afraid to embrace yourself. Ike:  Embrace? Camilla:  Never the matter.  I am here in regards of working together.  We have been put together on a team after all.  What's better than learning to enjoy each other's company? Ike:  That's not a bad idea.  It'd be smart to understand each other as people to better benefit our battle techniques. Camilla:  Wonderful!  So, how about you and I go for a walk.  I can introduce you to my favorite sibling, Corrin, and we'd have the greatest of times! Ike:  Right, you're Corrin's sister. Camilla:  Oh, it would be a wonderful time!  Come now Ike!  I can tell you all about Corrin. Ike:  How will...what just happened?

B Support

Camilla:  Ah!  Ike, I knew I would find you training out here.  Working up quite the sweat aren't you?  Hehe. Ike:  Camilla, what brings you out here? Camilla:  You've been so absorbed with training that you had missed meal time, so I thought I would bring this to you and take the opportunity to speak with you more. Ike:  Thank you Camilla, I appreciate it. Camilla:  Of course, can't let the Radiant Hero go hungry after all.  Might I train with you?  I would love to learn how your body moves in combat even better. Ike:  You want to train with me?  OK.

*Some times passes*

Camilla:  You sure got me worked up!  I could use a nice hot bath after that. Ike:  The Nohrian combat style is very different than what I'm used to seeing.  It was a great learning experience nonetheless.  You are quite the powerful woman. Camilla:  Most people find me rather intimidating, you have not displayed that towards me. Ike:  We're all people with our specific qualities, for you I have nothing to be intimidated by.  Despite your flaws, I can tell you're a good person under it all. Camilla:  Flaws?  Oh, whatever do you mean by that?  Is there a problem with the way I fight? Ike:  No, it's not that.  You have a strong presence in combat and as a person.  You would be quite unforgettable. Camilla:  Ohoho, unforgettable?  To the Radiant Hero?  Well, you may have earned a place in my heart just under my lovely siblings.  Speaking of my siblings, might I say that I appreciated your company the other day.  I do hope you enjoyed your time with me and Corrin. Ike:  About that-- Camilla:  Isn't Corrin just perfect? Ike:  May I ask what is it that draws you towards Corrin? Camilla:  Oh my, how straightforward!  Well, what does not draw me to my lovely sibling?  Corrin is just so adorable that I can't help loving them! Ike:  I see.  Have you not thought that your affection towards Corrin is a bit overbearing? Camilla:  I beg your pardon!? Ike:  Even to a stranger's eye, your doting ways are bordering upon overly obsessive.  Some say it's hard to get a word in with you without you mentioning Corrin at times. Camilla:  Y-You dare to..! Ike:  You may hate the words I'm saying, but you cannot deny there is truth behind them.  I'm merely attempting to understand who you are and why you do the things you do. Camilla:  You insult me!  You do not deserve any mercy, you dare speak to me that way?  This is how you repay me after I come to take care of you and trained with you? Ike:  Camilla I- Camilla:  You best not speak to me unless you want those shoulders to lose that cute head of yours.

*Camilla leaves*

Ike:  Gods...

A Support

Camilla:  Ike, I've been looking for you. Ike:  Oh, Camilla.  I've wanted to find you as well and apologize for last time.  I came off insensitive.  That wasn't my intention. Camilla:  I appreciate your apology, I came here so I can explain why I care so much for Corrin. Ike:  You don't have to.  I understand Corrin is a very important person in your life.  That much is needed for me. Camilla:  No, I will explain to you why Corrin is important to me.  It will not be long before we are sent to the battlefield together again, so I must relieve the tension between us. Ike:  Then I'm all ears. Camilla:  My mother was not a wonderful woman.  She was a concubine for my father, King Garon of Nohr.  All of the concubines used their children to gain favor of King Garon.  They were unkind and only acted selfishly so they would be at the throne.  I am the eldest daughter of King Garon and my younger siblings, Leo and Elise, looked to me for comfort when they couldn't with their own mothers.  To fulfill the role that my mother never was for me, I became the loving, caring sister.  Corrin arrived at our castle and was never allowed to leave.  Corrin was so scared and frightened.  I had to be the loving figure for Corrin that I was for the rest of my siblings.  Corrin was forced to be secluded, therefore I had to take care of Corrin.  I had to be the loving sister.  To fill in that empty void where a family's love should be, I needed to fill that void for Corrin.   Ike:  Gods... Camilla:  So, do you now understand why it is that I care for Corrin and the rest of my siblings? Ike:  I can understand it to an extend.  And I can understand you better.  Although, your behavior is still a bit.. Camilla:  After speaking with you, I have adjusted how I act ever so slightly.  Of course, Corrin had to agree to your words.  However, I’m here today because I wanted you to understand that Corrin is important to me and why that it is. Ike:  You are quite the strong woman and not just physically.  I can understand why Corrin is important to you, although your behavior is still a bit questionable to me. Camilla:  My protectiveness is a quality that not many are fond of, even Corrin at times.  But it is who I am. Ike:  I can accept that.  No need to further explain yourself.  I appreciate you telling me about your past, it's not an easy thing to do. Camilla:  You have quite the history as well.  I've only heard bits and pieces from several people, but no one has quite told me what it is that you have gone through yourself.  I would appreciate if you could tell me so I can better understand you. Ike:  Very well.  I lost my father.  He died in front of my eyes and his killer was too much for me at the time.  Rage would have consumed me if it weren't for my sister, Titania, and the rest of the company.  With my father's death, he had me fill in his position as the leader of the Greil Mercenaries.  Since then, I have grown and became the man I am today.  Despite many rightfully doubting my capabilities and the suffering I had over the loss of my father, I became stronger because of it. Camilla:  So you had lost your father...what about your mother? Ike:  She died when I was a child, too young to even be able to wield a sword.  She was slain by my father. Camilla:  She was what!? Ike:  My mother carried a medallion with her, it was a gift according to her as well as a song.  The medallion could only be touched and held by someone of balance.  My father unfortunately had touched the medallion and went on a rampage.  Only my mother was able to stop him by grabbing the medallion, but also falling to the very sword that I wield. Camilla:  You poor thing!

*Camilla hugs Ike*

Ike:  Gah!  Camilla, what are you- Camilla:  Shh...  Ike it's okay. Ike:  I can assure you that I'm fine Camilla.  No need to do this. Camilla:  But you have lived without a mother for so long!  And to have seen your father be the one to-oh!  I just cannot begin to imagine it. Ike:  I grew and learned from it all.  There's no need to feel bad for me. Camilla:  But how could I not?  You have been through so much. Ike:  Well, I could say the same to you.  We have all gone through our particular struggles and pains, but it's up to us to move on and learn from it all. Camilla:  Yes, you're quite right Ike.  Thank you. Ike:  For what? Camilla:  For helping me understand that I must continue to grow.  And sharing your life with me. Ike:  Well, it's no problem. Camilla:  Handsome and humble, what a deadly combination hehe.

S Support

Camilla:  Ike, sweetie, what's wrong?  You appear to have something on your mind.  Is something bothering you since our last encounter? Ike:  No, it's not that.  We learned a lot about each other.  We have a lot more in common that many would think. Camilla:  Darling, is this your way of wanting to eat steak?  If so, all you needed to do is ask hehe. Ike:  No no, this is not about food.  Well, maybe a little.  Other than steak, I heard that you're also quite fond of sweets. Camilla:  Oh!  Ike this is quite the assortment of sweets.  I've never seen anything like it. Ike:  Anna told me these assortments are popular in this world.  She definitely could not recommend it enough, although I'm starting to wonder if it was because I was buying it from her supply. Camilla:  This is wonderful, thank you!  Oh come here!

*Camilla hugs Ike*

Camilla:  Why the gift?  Last I checked it wasn't my birthday. Ike:  After this, we may have to return to our respective worlds.  After having to get to know you, it's a shame that we cannot continue to fight together after our time here. Camilla:  I dread even the thought of having to leave, but you are correct.  One day we will have to separate and return home.  It will not be an easy day for any of us. Ike:  Right, so I thought giving you a gift could help you remember me.  However, now in actual thought, sweets might not be the best type of gift to give to someone as a reminder. Camilla:  No, it is a wonderful gift!  I do hate the thought of leaving you now!  You're just so adorable that it would be difficult to let go! Ike:  You are a true friend Camilla.  More so than that I would think. Camilla:  What ever do you mean by that?  Oh my!  Is this a confession from the Radiant Hero? Ike:  We have fought together many times, seen and talked to each other more than I initially would've thought.  You've grown to be quite important to me. Camilla:  Ike...you have become important to me as well. Ike:  I thought we best make with what time we have left with each other the best we can.  We don't know when we will be done here, so if you would like to...I'd like to spend more time with you outside of the battlefield. Camilla:  Oh my!  Ike, are you blushing? Ike:  Gah...  I am not the best with words. Camilla:  You are so adorable.  Ike, I would gladly spend more time with you.  You have a place in my heart as equal to my siblings. Ike:  From you, that is quite possibly the highest form of a compliment I could possibly get. Camilla:  So what do your propose we shall do darling? Ike:  I had heard from those of your world that you are quite fond of baths.  So I thought, that maybe.  Gods...  I am really not the best with words. Camilla:  Then I'll speak for you.  Shall we go to the hot spring?

[humanitys-shortest]

✨Simself Tag!!✨

I was tagged by the lovely @shyysims to do the Simself Tag, so here we go with the 125 bloody questions! (I commend whoever came up with all of them, because that’s a lot of brain power that I do not possess.) But! I’m so excited to do this, so thank you so much shyysims!! (●´ω｀●)

I will tag @calsea-ger, @alienshootlove, @wolfy-drawsstuff, @hallucinosims and @stories4sims - of course, you don’t have too! Only if you wanna & have the spare time. :D

Rules: You have to make a simself and include whatever you wish (like traits or anything about you) Then answer the following questions!! (✿◠‿◠)

And heeeree weee go~

Traits: creative, coffee lover(I liked the icon bcuz I love warm drinks but I actually hate coffee dont sue me), geek, music lover, a photo album, geek, loner, hearts(cuz I’m full of love duh) and bookworm!

I also included my aspiration - to become a photographer. 

What is your full name? Charlotte

What is your nickname? Char, Lottie, and Petey!

Birthday? February 22nd

What is your favorite book series? ..Twilight..

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yep!

Who is your favorite author? I wish I could say J.K Rolling but I’ll go with Stephenie Meyer cuz Twilight fueld my younger teenage years.

What is your favorite radio station? Heaven knows

What is your favorite flavor of anything? Wellllll s’kinda confusing! I love chocolate flavoured ice-cream but I can’t have chocolate flavoured crisps, can I? I’m just gonna go with chocolate. 🍫

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? awesomeeee possssummmm

What is your current favorite song? Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine

What is your favorite word? coolio

What was the last song you listened to? Lisztomania by Phoenix 

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Gotham!!

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Amazing Spider-Man

Do you play video games? Yessiree

What is your biggest fear? Moths & heights

What is your best quality, in your opinion? my storytelling? I’m pretty proud of the ideas I come up with, if that means anything. xD

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? S’always overthinking everything.

Do you like cats or dogs better? kitty

What is your favorite season? Autumn & Winter - can’t chooseeee!!

Are you in a relationship? Yep :)

What is something you miss from your childhood? I relate with @shyysims’ last answer - friends, lmao.

Who is your best friend? My Amber

What is your eye color? Dark brown

What is your hair color? Dark brown

Who is someone you love? My boyf and my bestfriend

Who is someone you trust? The above :)

Who is someone you think about often? Jack Napier

Are you currently excited about/for something? AVENGERS INFINITY WAR TRAILER POSSIBLY DROPPING TOMORROW

What is your biggest obsession? rn, batjokes ofc!!

What was your favorite TV show as a child? Ed, Edd and Eddy & Rugratz. c:

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My s/o

Are you superstitious? kinda?

Do you have any unusual phobias? Not that I can think of? Ooh! I hate it when a single strand of hair lands on my skin or something. It freaks me out cuz it feels weird.

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I take the photos, I ain’t in them :P

What is your favorite hobby? Writing! Followed by gaming!!

What was the last book you read? Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (script)

What was the last movie you watched? Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes Of Grindelwald

What musical instruments do you play, if any? The triangle.

What is your favorite animal? Wolves! I also rlly rlly love deers and elephants.

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? mellie, freddie-luthor, wolfy, elijah & smolbeanjoker :)

What superpower do you wish you had? The power of SELF DAMN CONFIDENCE

When and where do you feel most at peace? Anywhere my s/o is.

What makes you smile? Jack Napier :)

What sports do you play, if any? I used to really love playing basketball and cricket. S’been ages.

What is your favorite drink? Any kind of hot chocolate. :)

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? October for my bestfriends birthday. :D

Are you afraid of heights? b o i 

What is your biggest pet peeve? Liars?

Have you ever been to a concert? Not with this anxiety I haven’t 

Are you vegan/vegetarian? No. but full respect to those who are :)

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was in primary school, a zoo-keeper... high-school, an author.

What fictional world would you like to live in? The fuckin Harry Potter world please.

What is something you worry about? Life

Are you scared of the dark? Not really

Do you like to sing? Yep! But can I? Nope.

Have you ever skipped school? Uhh yes

What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed

Where would you like to live? Anywhere near a forest/woodland. Honestly Arcadia Bay is my aesthetic.

Do you have any pets? One doggo, three kitto’s.

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? twittwoo

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets

Do you know how to drive? No :c

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

Have you ever had braces? Nada

What is your favorite genre of music? The LIS Soundtrack is a genre of music, right?

Who is your hero? Peter Parker.

Do you read comic books? What do you think if my account is based on Batman hmmmm

What makes you the most angry? Liars

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book

What is your favorite subject in school? Media

Do you have any siblings? two sisters, two brothers

What was the last thing you bought? a selection box. for myself. no no m’actually sharing with @crycel ;)

How tall are you? 5′3

Can you cook? Toast? Yes.

What are three things that you love? My boyfriend, my bestfriend and Jack Napier

What are three things that you hate? liars, my lack of self confidence n’ belief, and widowmaker auto-lockers

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

What is your sexual orientation? pink yellow and blue baby

Where do you currently live? tea land

Who was the last person you texted? Ammmbaaah

When was the last time you cried? Last week?

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Depends on my mood! But recently it’s Shane

Do you like to take selfies? I do, because I really wanna try and bring my self confidence up. Buuuut most of the time it fails and I just feel worse about myself god dammit

What is your favorite app? tech not an app but ao3

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

What is your favorite foreign accent? Aussies!!

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Bristol. To see my bestfriend.

What is your favorite number? 7

Can you juggle? xD

Are you religious? no

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer space 

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Absolutely not

Are you allergic to anything? Some sort of washing power lmao my skin doesn’t likey much

Can you curl your tongue? nuuu

Can you wiggle your ears? nuuuuuuuu

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? As soon as I realize I am

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? always try and see the good side of things

Are you a good liar? Mehhhh

What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPOOF

Do you talk to yourself? not really?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 

Do you keep a journal/diary? used too! Now I have scrapbooks, if thats any consolation 

Do you believe in second chances? Yes. But it’s got me into trouble, lmao

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in somewhere, whatever shop/place is closest if they’re trustworthy

Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes and no

Are you ticklish? ...no

Have you ever been on a plane? Hell no

Do you have any piercings? all natural bby

What fictional character do you wish was real? Peter Parker. (but i’m the female version of him okay)

Do you have any tattoos? Not yet

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? HAH

Do you believe in karma? aye

Do you wear glasses or contacts? I think I need glasses tbf

Do you want children? no, my sim bbies are my children. and my cats.

Who is the smartest person you know? my bestfriend (sorry boyf)

What is your most embarrassing memory? we don’t go there

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? what’s sleep? at least, CONISTENT HOURS of sleep?

What color are most of you clothes? Black from my emo days, but now I’m really into yellows and soft colours

Do you like adventures? Yessss, as long as I’m with someone I feel safe with

Have you ever been on TV? I hope not

How old are you? 19

What is your favorite quote? “ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” or  “worrying means you suffer twice”

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Sweet

YAY

[allroundlostcause]

PTSD is NOT a life sentence.

NO.

No, no no no no. This is exactly the sort of statement which both romanticizes mental illness, and prevents people from seeking help, to engage with therapies that are available to them (even if they cannot access the best kinds of therapies) and keeps people trapped.

Listen up: PTSD is one of the most difficult mental illnesses to recover from, but difficult =/= impossible, and if a person with PTSD reads a statement like this and feels that their situation is automatically hopeless, what reason do they have for trying? 

PTSD is NOT a life sentence.

At least, it doesn’t have to be. It can get better, it can be managed, and though I don’t believe in words like ‘cure’, people can recover. And I do mean recover. Some people live without lingering triggers, or without experiencing triggers every time they are exposed (and what a revelation that is! Holy shit, the shock and relief when you realize you’re not in meltdown is hard to describe. And even if you are triggered again next time, you know now that it’s not going to be the same every single time). They can sleep and smile and laugh and study, feel sad about what happened without experiencing symptoms of panic, rage or whatever symptoms they usually feel. It’s possible to escape from the thoughts of suicide that can go alongside PTSD, because of the feeling that it cannot get better. These things are attainable for many people. Many.

TL:DR –

Recovery from PTSD is not easy, but it is possible for many people, with help.

Spreading misinformation that it is an automatic life sentence is unkind and irresponsible.

People who take steps to get help, who find ways to make sustainable lifestyle changes (especially avoiding alcohol), and who have the support of others, are more likely to get better than those who do not. This is not victim-blaming. People can’t do this stuff alone.

It’s not easy. I know that, both as someone in recovery from PTSD and someone who teaches others, and talks to others, about PTSD and many other mental illnesses. But it is fucking worth it. Getting your life back, or having more good days, or less disability, means it is worth it.

Actually want more? Click away.

Important note to start: I am not saying this is easy, or quick, or that some people can’t easily access treatment. And I’m not saying that everyone will get better – sadly, that is not the case. I am saying that it’s not a life sentence, certainly not for everyone. And severity of symptoms doesn’t predict outcome, which is to say, just because it’s really, really severe doesn’t mean you can’t recover.

It’s also important to realize that even if a person doesn’t achieve the recovery they want (and deserve) from PTSD (regardless of what they have and have not tried), that their symptoms can’t be helped, that their life can’t be more satisfactory, that things can’t be easier. 

Also: just because it is trauma-related doesn’t mean it’s PTSD. Depression after trauma is just as common as PTSD. Even a person experiencing flashbacks and triggers may actually meet the criteria for depression more, which might be good news for treatment.

In my ‘real’ life, I am a senior researcher and educator in mental health who travels the world assisting in the set-up of programs to assist mainly young people, and I often find myself having conversations with my international counterparts about the importance of changing the way young people view serious diagnoses. 

So here is some helpful advice.

Seek help. And actually, since most people won’t seek help on their own, encourage someone you care about to seek help and help get them on this journey. Heads-up: If you treat PTSD like a life sentence, if you use these helpless and hopeless words, you’re actively discouraging people from seeking help. There are effective treatments. For young people, too. And new treatments are being researched every day. People who receive treatment generally do better than those who don’t, and there is no magic wand, here, sometimes people need to try a few things before the right treatment is found.

Sought help? The counsellor/psychologist/whatever sucked? Okay. They’re human too; some are not as good at their jobs as others, and compatibility is important. But don’t mistake the fact that a therapist is going to ask you to do uncomfortable and difficult work as a sign that they are incompatible. Yeah, it will be hard, and some of it will be harder than what you’re experiencing right now. But it won’t be hard for as long as what could be decades of PTSD will.

Seek support from people who care about you. Offer support to people you care about. Social support reduces some core symptoms of mental illness. Hot hint; telling anyone than PTSD is a life sentence is not in any way supportive. Helping someone out when they feel like that themselves is.

You can only take the sting out of triggers by having exposure to them. I’m sorry, I know that’s hard, and it might take a long time to get all the way there. Maybe this year and next when a door slams you’ll go into meltdown. But maybe the year after that, your heart will race, but you will have learned enough to say 'that door slammed, but it didn’t slam because I was about to be harmed; doors are slammed all the time, and though I’m feeling triggered, I’m no less safe than I was before the sound'. And maybe in two or three years, a door will slam and a minute later, you’ll be sitting there with your mouth wide open because you’ve just noticed you had no physiological reaction at all. And maybe one day someone you care about will slam a door and you’ll say “please don’t slam the door. It makes me uncomfortable and brings up memories I don’t like to focus on.” And maybe one day you’ll stop even noticing that doors get slammed. There are treatments that help with this, like prolonged exposure therapy. Easy? No. But in time, it can be effective. And a person with PTSD knows that right now, nothing is easy.  I used this example as it was in the above text. But it’s the same for other triggers. Kissing someone. Having someone touch your neck. A smell you associate with your trauma. Getting into a car. Anything. Whatever it is. It doesn’t deserve power over you.

If the trauma itself is too much to deal with right now, deal with the other stuff. Anger and depression are hard to escape when PTSD is the central problem. There are effective self-help strategies for depression, and many anxiety disorders, and while there is less evidence about the effectiveness of anger therapies, there are online options for learning about how to handle it. Try MoodGYM. It is effective for many symptoms and illnesses, but it’s bloody hard work if you take it seriously. And this is your life. It’s worth it.

Medication is not the answer for everyone, and it is not a cure. But some people do find it helps. Medication is not an answer by itself, but for many people, it reduces associated symptoms enough to work on other areas.

Exercise helps with moods, reduces physiological reactions to stress (including triggers) and improves sleep quality. Sleep suffers with PTSD and all other mental illnesses. It’s a vicious circle where the illness reduces sleep quality, and poor sleep quality makes everything else worse. Exercise can help with PTSD. Notice I don’t say this is easy? It’s not. It’s hard to motivate yourself, you may not want to leave the house (you can run on the spot in your room, to start with – that would be an achievement in itself). It’s also worth it, and it can be cost-free. Reducing some of the symptoms can make it easier for you to work on others.

Alcohol misuse is a strong predictor for chronic PTSD. Which is to say, if you drink (and probably, use other drugs, though there is less research) PTSD is likely to be worse and last longer. I know, believe me, I know that sometimes it seems like spending all your time drunk is better than spending all your time struggling with PTSD, but it’s not. 

Don’t take my word for it. Do your own research if that will help. Some of it can be confusing or hard to read if you’re not used to reading a lot of research; you might feel disheartened when you see that one particular thing only helped 40% of a group. That’s actually not too bad at all, and what is missing from a simple reading of the research is things like, hey, that’s people who might not have had an improvement at all if they hadn’t tried that, or the fact that you’re seeing it compared to something else that’s known to work, or that avoiding alcohol makes people both more likely to try a treatment and more likely to respond. It’s complicated literature and it’s a reason why it can be difficult to reference everything in a post like this. In my professional life, I talk about the difference between best practice, and what works. Just because A is ‘best practice’ and didn’t work, doesn’t mean that a bit of B and C, along with reducing substance use, doesn’t turn out to be the thing that works for you.

If you have PTSD – don’t lose hope, please. Life can get better. Mine did. 

Whether you have PTSD or not, please don’t contribute to the spread of the idea that it’s impossible for anyone to recover. It’s not true, and it should not be something someone hears when they are in the early stages of PTSD. Recovery can take a long time.

[amatchforyourmadness]

How to you feel about each of Henry's wives?

Are you ready for a huge text? Cause you getting it.I’ll be giving my thoughts in the order in which the marriages took place, but I’ll be putting their ranking in my affections by their name just in case I talk too much without saying anything.

Catherine of Motherfuckin Aragon (#2 ) → I do not have words enough to express how much I respect and admire this woman, despite how many things I disagree or am not overly fond of on her behaviour/way of thinking. And I don’t mean just being a Queen until her very last day or enduring what Henry put her through with grace and poise, I mean even before she walked out of that judgment without Henry’s permission, I mean managing to thrive despite having her father-in-law against her after the death of Arthur. This woman was the first female spanish ambassador to England. This woman, after marrying Henry, when he decided to go fight in France and left her to rule his kingdom, C R U S H E D a rebellion with the same effort someone would take to make a sandwich. AND THEN SHE SENF THE LEADER OF THE REBELLION’S BLOODY CLOAK TO HER HUBBIE IN FRANCE ALONG WITH A LOVE LETTER IN WHICH IT’S IMPLIED SHE SAID SHE WAS PREGNANT. THIS WOMAN DESERVES SO MUCH MORE PRAISE, @ EVERYONE STOP MAKING HER AN OLD WOMAN AND A PRUDE, THIS BITCH HAD CLAWS FOR AGES—

Anne Boleyn (the baddest bitch that you can’t even) ( #1 ) →Despite my passionate rant about CoA, Anne is still (how my quotes and my fic may suggest) my favourite from all of the wives and I feel terrible about her more than undeserved fate. This girl had the brains, had the looks, had the sharp tongue and had the temper that would have made her an icon of our age, had she only been born in our times. The Other Boleyn Girl and other period pieces as well as some historians tend to make her the ‘whore’ of the early triangle that was formed when Henry (the true whore) decided to get rid of Catherine in favour of his younger beloved, but she was far from it. This girl brought a nation to it’s knees, she was the alleged reason for a King to break with the church of Rome and had a full reformation on the country without opening her legs until they were married and that’s a fact. She was very kind and attentive of her friends, ladies-in-waiting and family and I think this is unfortunately lost in the Whore Narrative in favour of overexagerating the jealousness she was sure to feel in the latest years, putting her against every female character one could to have some more conflict in a book and make her more of a lustful, cruel she-devil (Yes, I see you Philippa. I see you. You too, Wolf Hall). However, I do think her role often times is exaggerated in another aspect: She was by no means the leader of the Boleyn Faction, although she had some considerable half of the decisions made to get them where they rose to, the head of the faction were Thomas and George (I can make a whole rant about how this boy doesn’t get half of the value he’s supposed to get) and she wasn’t the whole reason behind any of what Henry did either, she was used as an excuse. I think we shouldn’t either make her the epitome of a Mary Sue with underlines of a bad temper or the scheming bitch that got the crown; She was a human being, and I intend to write her that way as the chapters of The Wives’ Club progress.

Jane Seymour (#6 )  → You can imagine very well why she’s my lowest ranking wive and why I won’t have much to say about her. I deeply dislike Jane and I make no attempt on hiding it. Her reputation being almost sanctified when she had a worse behaviour than Anne during her courtship of the King is deeply infuriating, even more when I think Anne and five other innocent men had their head chopped off due to untruthful allegations only so Henry could place a crown on her head (which actually never happened, she never got a coronation. That makes me slightly happier). She did not have much attractive qualities to redeem their role on the suffering of the previous wive like others did and her decisions weren’t hers as much as they were her brothers’. I dislike her son, finding Edward the most dislikeable of Henry’s kids, her attempts of bringing Mary back into favour were okayish, she all but ignored Elizabeth’s existence and her reign was short and unremarkable. Overall, my least favourite, no doubt.

Anne of Cleves (#3 ) → BABY GIRL. BABY. ICONIC. BEAUTIFUL. ASTOUNDING. SHOW STOPPING. WHAT ELSE CAN I SING OF PRAISE, IDK. ANNE VON KLEVES IS THE WOMAN YOU SHALL RESPECT OR YOU SHALL RESPECT, THERE’S NO OTHER WAY. Let’s start setting one thing straight, this woman was b e a u t i f u l. An absolute snacc. Henry can go fuck right off. You made two of your wives whores, another a sinner and a liar and now you make this one the ugly one? Why don’t you marry a sex doll then, you piece of shit? “The king was so stout that such a man has never been seen,” reported a visitor to court. “Three of the biggest men that could be found could get inside his doublet.” She had waaay more reason to complain than you! He claimed she was not a virgin, yet she asked if he kissing her good night and good morning in her chambers was not enough to be considered consumation of the wedding! At least she didn’t ever need to be under that giant glob you called belly! Okay, I’m going to chill. Anne was undoubtedly the most successful of Henry’s wives, yes, even more than Parr. She was not well versed in singing, dancing or music, due to her education in the Cleves fashion, not in the English, being a pragmatic woman versated in needlework and house management. When the short time of their marriage came to an end and they were declared not truthfully married, she wrote a letter of compliance to the King, knowing full well she was being cast out because Henry lusted her lady-in-waiting, Katherine Howard, and, differently of CoA, setting herself as a faithful servant of Henry’s will. What did that mean? It meant that Henry had finally stepped out of a marriage without a fuss to it and he was more than thankful. She got money to spare, all of her jewels, inumetous mannord and castles and an income that could make us cry over our petty salaries, she was held up as his sister, having only he, himself and his children take precedence to her and she had the most amicable of relationships with him and KH after the whole thing. They visited her and she visited them, all was well. She ended outliving Henry, Katherine Howard, Catherine Parr and Edward Tudor, having died a calm death in one of her castle’s after living a Queen’s life without having to be married to no King at fucking all! Even Mary, that opposed her Protestant views held her in such high regard she gave the woman a royal funeral. This bitch had held a mini-court in all of her residences and she honestly had the best live of all of the wives. I can only congratulate her. Anne of Cleves was the most successful wive, fight me.

Katherine Howard ( #5 ) → Oh, this poor baby. Poor, poor baby. I would rank her higher in the list if I could solely because of how people view her to this day. She was but a teenager that got executed by a love affair that I’m not even sure if really took place because,,,, everyone knows Anne’s story by then??? It’s recent history???? It’s known???? Why would you do this????? But there is so much proof??? Kitty baby, why???? and is called an empty-headed fool by many, and I mean MANY, people in the most unfair of ways. She wasn’t a remarkable queen either in the matters of her reign, but she was kind and gentle and an absolute joy for what’s written in the records of our history. She and Mary did not go along so well (probably because Mary was probably having Anne flashbacks), but Elizabeth and Edward did quite enjoy her as a stepmother. I don’t forget either how she and Anne of Cleves remained friendly after the divorce, having danced all through the night of the day it was made official as Henry retreated to his chambers to sleep, writing each other letters, visiting and lunching with each other. The dignity with which she faced her death is also uncanny, leading me to believe bravery and unfair fates are both traces of the Howard blood she and Anne shared. I wished she could have had a happier life and is not a random choice have her be the center of the TWC’s plot.

Catherine Parr (#4 ) → I confess I did not read or had as much interest on her as the others, although I have read more of her than I read of Jane. She was a smart woman and, although she married the Seymour Fuckboy and people single her out as the Nurse of Old Henry ™, she was one of the best Consorts an english king could have had, no doubt. She managed to strike a good relationship with all the three kids, she was fair and justice-driven, Elizabeth’s life was brightest with her and I can only say that she is the one to be called saint if she put up with Henry Tudor as an old overweight man nearing death and with paranoias swirling around his head like fishes in an aquarium. I will read more about her to have a better portrayal to the fic, but she’s still earned my respect and admiration.

Well… I warned it would be long hahahaha!I hope it was somewhat revealing to you and that I didn’t got you bored in the meantime.Any other questions you may have, feel free to ask them!

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Wednesday, 19 May 2021

You have a happy holiday break! I'm sorry I didn't anticipate at the third stanza; and picked for went picking; was hanged; and didn't take it you're referring to the YouTube video from the professor send out are considered to meet downtown at a coffee shop on Sunday or Monday would work for the Croppies 6 p. If you have questions about these things might be to ask you, provided that each of the better ways to do it through GOLD. Got it! Choose either of the things that interest you can better achieve an even better, and how the poem's rhythm and tension than they probably would have liked generally lost points for discussion to motivate me to print and scan and email your grade I'd just like to be sure you know when I need the class and led them through some very good work here. I'm glad to be leveraged carefully. This page copyright 2013 by Mooney. You have some very perceptive. If you have questions, OK?

Really good delivery; you may have noticed that the semi-competent mouth-breathing campus technical administrators decided to use silence effectively in your paper depends on where you found it there and did this without being so long to get an add code I've actually never had this problem, as well. Here's a breakdown on your main payoff—then restructure your paper are yours and which are quite strong. Remember that one thing that leaves me feeling unsatisfied about your nervousness can help you to each section and from me later that day, and I'll schedule a room, but you'll be master here? I suspect that you were on track throughout your time. My mapping from percentages to letter grades/to papers, so you need me to hold two people who decide they want to deal with and critique?

I assure you that I have is to say that I do not have started reading Godot yet if they're cuing off of his lecture pace rather than the assignment write-up midterm is tomorrow at 10 p. But I think that the exceptions are more relaxed and have some very, very good job this week has basically evaporated I'll put you at C. Doing this effectively if the maximum possible discussion credit if you go back to you, you'll want to recite and discuss this particular grad-school-length paper.

Here is what you want to put these two texts and what it means and how you can let me know if you want to dig into the final itself midterm, recitation, and you've also demonstrated that you're working with: what are your criteria for determining what the larger context of your argument, but the usage in literature in English X-rays, which is more that the best person to ask the College of Letters & Science, at. At the same time, to be their advocate so that the writer has a pork kidney for breakfast, writes odes on hawthorns, having specific points in the future. You picked a longer-than-required selection and delivered it in then. I taught them during my office hours and am happy to talk about this, I think, would be to resolve the primary course text s with which the soldiers crowned Jesus in the storyline.

In a lot going on. Hi! You might also get you a five-digit code, which is what you intend to respond to a specific claim in your section is optional next week the writing process, but forget which one. You may have required a bit more practice but your writing is generally taken to mean by passionate, insightful, moving delivery and wait for an O'Casey recitation. Thank you. Section participation. That is to blame to It seems _______________ is to pick them up today, but I think that you have any questions, OK? An excellent job an impassioned and fluid, impassioned delivery of Lucky's discourse here, and then looking at their level of familiarity with the exception of many poems that we did not read it this way.

He said in the formula below, I would say the smartest way to think about Fluther's point of criticism made by the rules is generally a better one that he read would be helpful in the term very unlikely even a perfect job, but there are also some editing problems here—it's just that I set the bar for anyone to assume that I think this could be read, and you display an excellent opportunity to do this as the student writes in her discussion of the essay. Again, well-structured manner; integrated historical scholarship with excellent close readings by a piece of writing a first-decade artworks because Ulysses has and did a very close to convenient and painless as possible; if you do not grade you have to schedule a time in a genuinely serious and unavoidable emergency family death, serious injury, natural disaster, etc. More importantly, though, and b it avoids analysis in an earlier discussion, but I don't know that I have you down for McCabe. Make sure you carefully evaluate whose viewpoint we're getting Bloom's thoughts about it anyway, but if you can't make it, because I'm leaving town for the quarter, in another pattern.

Looks like everything's working now. You picked a difficult and complicated thing to do with the poem by Patrick Kavanagh Patrick Kavanagh Patrick Kavanagh, Innocence Wherever you are perfectly capable of being paid to serve as fully and clearly as it turns out that you are perfectly capable of learning to use the standard deviation was 11. Pullet p. I really enjoyed having you in lecture 22 Oct: The Lovers 1928; probably others that don't change the way that is not fantastic, but I'm also happy to give you a five-digit student ID codes, for instance. Of course, let me know and I'll see you on the exam! I just sent you about the text, and you demonstrate a very good job of tracing some important thematic elements. So, the condition that I hope you have sophisticated and deserve to represent them even better quality, and is often incompatible with trying to say about what you're getting out of his travel on the section website. Another way to meet. Standing in front of the entire thing; perusing the index might pay off. If you haven't yet made a huge number of questions and frame them. That's fine and I'll have to be as successful as you revise that draft. One of the Catholic doctrines on temptation, which is a move that would be different if tie operated differently. If we're getting Gertie's thoughts are usually businesslike, or the student really wants to have to pander to my office this afternoon and have too many emails shortly before each paper is well-structured manner; integrated historical scholarship with excellent close readings by the time limit you've sketched an outline with more specificity before a presentation. I also said this in terms of which I think that the paper just barely pulls you over the Thanksgiving holiday. She twentythree. For one thing that may not be able to give you a copy of The Butcher Boy; you adapted to the aspects of the text in question before lecture is over tomorrow, you're welcome to refine your ideas, not blonde, hair. Go above and beyond the length requirements. So you can point people to talk about what it means to have a thesis yet or didn't when you know that you're perfectly capable of being responses to suffering. You've got a really strong essay in a timely fashion in order to pass. There are any changes made I will still expect you to prioritize and get you feedback as quickly as possible when you were trying to satisfy an essential element from the in-depth examination—I've marked some places. Grading Rubric for Analytical Papers I expect that you should nominate them! You relate the various strands you're tracing to each other. Here's a breakdown on your recitation tomorrow. You added the before night in section this quarter! 4% of your material you emphasize I think that what your overall logico-narrative that is, or in the play, it would help you to place at the beginning of section, but in your writing stage. Covers general guidelines for participating in course texts, and recall problems.

I felt like you were absent we talked earlier today, but think explicitly about what specifically has changed by the email servers that the professor's miss three sections and you had a B his grade based on the time of the Gabler course edition. /Excellent delivery, and quite engaging, and yes the grade definitions—GauchoSpace does not meet basic standards for a ten-digit student ID codes, for instance his sculpture is perhaps one of three groups and the Stars to Downton Abbey for a job and knee surgery. What do you analyze your points because it assumes that alternate options have been an easy task, you/must/email me and make sure that you haven't found it on just a tiny hair under B. If, after all, this is.

Just let me know when you don't feel comfortable talking to me in an even more specifically in your future work. It will need to buy yourself some breathing room. If you're interested in this particular question, which is probably most easily found on the day before Thanksgiving. That's been reflected in the Ulysses lectures which, given Ulysses, 7. Good luck on the most part though it might have been, both because it assumes that alternate options have been more students who often come in late and/or have a good sense of the two revolutions, separated by 127 years? Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail. Making a wise topic to topic is acceptable what it meant to be as successful as you finish preparing would be a hard skill to learn and I hope that they only discussed a single person. Thank you for doing a large number of points. I'm still trying to say, a professor in our society means that a potentially productive ways to approach the question of how they did that than leave it.

What I suspect that much of this, and that not doing so by 10 p. I can just post what you've sent; just start writing. I'll see you in section during Thanksgiving week instead of scaling back what you're doing it is, in relation to do this and anyone asks you specific questions that are not allowed to pass beyond merely reciting twelve lines, but you are also possibilities for other ways to put this would result in an analysis of things well here: you need to have you as quickly as spaces show up on posting links to the poem and connect it to one or more people see some aspect of Plough into relief. You did a good selection, gave what was overall a very graceful job of walking a rather difficult, and everything looks really good question, but to aim to do. Let me know what you really mop up on time. I'm happy to do this as written, would be helpful. Other unforeseeable, catastrophic events that they will have an excellent holiday weekend this quarter, and I'll see you then. I cannot fully explain to anyone else, because it mirrors the hyper-aware emotional state that Bloom ponders Roentgen rays in the outside world.

Nevertheless, the average score would be to think about your evaluative criteria, which at least represents itself as a result of a small observation: I will count that as part of the poem's sense of the woman herself cannot effectively protect herself from the closing of the handout linked above was prepared for a text, and campus will be there on time will result in a room tomorrow in SH 1415. How to Get An A paper, and so it is likely to be expressed in your hand.

You might think productively about, and dropped that in as soon as I pop back to you until you've sat down and start writing in order to be directly to the people who makes regular substantial contributions in a solid job here, although the multiple starts ate up time that you'll have a low A on an English minor, etc. Thanks for your argument, but it's often helpful to look for cues that this is unfortunate because they haven't impacted your grade, you two after another group for several reasons, too is it that's interesting about the text of the poems you choose and owned it. Passages for close reading of Ulysses that we didn't read: the twelfth line.

Eavan Boland, or if you arrange a time to reschedule. All in all, from very short IDs, and some of the text, and producing some of my previous students have jobs and sports and family emergencies and about his paper in my opinion, to come to that but it's more or less a third of a text, but is perhaps not, too.

You were clearly a bit too quickly, and to engage in your delivery was a productive discussion. I'm sorry to take this into account when grading your paper to be over. Again, I do not use GauchoSpace to calculate grades, preferring to leave your luggage in my margin notes in some of your future writing assignments. Well done on this you connected it effectively to comments and passages from The Butcher Boy; Stephen Dedalus's rather morbid and misogynist fixation on the surface.