#but his old writing had him a lil fucked up and he was so funny

[waspgrave]

Dream: Wyll’s current story and kindness but with the energy of EA Wyll with his made up sayings and cockiness

[wraithdance]

Damn I'm still getting notifications on this so I guess I'll elaborate on it for funsies lol

Content warning: AFAB!Reader, terrible british-isms, Reader is a firefighter and idk shit about that life lol, very NY/American coded, explicit language. Shorty getting tossed around like a hot n ready in the next part I just love to set the scene a lil lmao

Part one: The Firefighter

Your mother had always told you two things: 1) not to write a check that your ass can’t cash and 2) A hard head made for a soft ass. Unfortunately for you, you never listen. 

You were on the downward slope of a 48 hour shift and feeling every bit of it. Your captain had taken no mercy on the splitting headache you were nursing and designated you to crowd control on the northern sector of the McCallen theater. The heat of the flames enveloping the old building didn’t help with the already stifling heat wave. Sweat slides down your neck in uncomfortable pools that soak the under clothes beneath your turnout gear. 

While in the middle of reassuring an elderly woman whose granddaughter was in the building you’d caught sight of a large form attempting to cross the barrier from the corner of your eye. You’d whipped your head around so fast you’d damn near given yourself whiplash.

“Hey, get back behind the line!”

Your words die in your throat when you come face to face with the fucking grim reaper. He’s broad and dressed in layers of black from head to toe. His eyes, or what you can see of them from behind the eye black, bore into you from beneath his balaclava. 

What the fuck?

There's a moment where your throat closes up and your muscles lock despite your body screaming at you to run the other way. It’s not until he seems to dismiss you and turns like he’s going to continue on his merry way, that you gain back your senses. 

“Hey I said get back behind the line are you crazy?!” You bark, grabbing the sleeve of his jumper.

Who the hell wears a sweatshirt in the middle of June?

“This is an active fire! ” 

He looks at your offending hand and makes a sound you can only describe as a snort.

“Ya’ can bloody see that.”

This motherfu-

“Good job jackass,” You say between grit teeth “I’m glad you can see the fire, funny enough you can also see it from behind. the. damn. LINE!” 

The grim reaper twitches and if it's possible he looks bigger as he turns his full body towards you. 

You’re too hopped on adrenaline to give a shit about his posturing. You’d worked with sweaty macho guys for six years at the station and had been around servicemen your whole life. There wasn’t a pissing contest around that you would ever back down from. So, you puff out your own chest and meet him head on. 

“Sir, I’m not going to ask you again, get behind the barrier.” 

“Or wot.” you think you might actually catch a murder charge.

“You get behind the line like I asked you to, big boy, or I’ll toss your ass over it myself” You hiss. The big fuck just narrows his eyes in consideration. You’re preparing to make good on your threat, when another voice cuts in.

“Riley, What's the problem here?”

Great two of them. 

The second man is not as broad as the weirdo in black, but still just as barrelled chested. He maneuvers around the barrier like it's just a concept and not a physical deterrent. You have to roll your eyes at his boonie hat and the outdated beard. He had the same fashion sense as your grandpa.

He stops beside the reaper's right side and crosses his stocky arms over his chest, his beard twitching as he takes in your stance. There's something in his blue eyes that you might call appreciation, if it didn’t make you feel like you were on a serving platter. 

You really didn't have time for this shit!

“Like I told your friend here, I need you both behind the line, you're getting in the way of my job and I’m tired of repeating myself.” 

It might have been a childish thing to do but you can’t help yourself when you make rude shoo-ing motions with your hands. 

The newcomers' eyes tighten inauspiciously. An imperceptible look passes between the two mountains that you can’t read. It makes you shudder which only stands to piss you off further. 

It’s not the first time you’ve had some hyper masculine fuck question your authority while on a rescue. Hell, it's come to be expected at this point and you’d joined an online support group for firefighters who experienced the same for being non-cis white dudes. 

The issue is whatever energy these monsters disguised as men are emitting, is disorienting. Normally you would have asked for back up after the second time your request was ignored. Yet your radio still sits at your shoulder and your hands are shaking beneath your thick gloves. 

After a beat the man with the boonie hat speaks, identifying himself as the leader of the two. 

“Listen love, we’re SAS, we can help with the rescue if you just point us in a direction.” 

Your eyes are rolling before he even finishes, you knew it. Macho men.

“That’s nice and I’m auditioning for the Wiz! We have everything under control gentlemen but thank you for the offer!” 

Maybe it’s the migraine or the lack of sleep, but you can’t help but to dig the knife in deeper just a little bit. You’re smiling with your teeth and speaking in a baby voice before you can think twice about it.

“Why don’t you big strong men sign up for the next station tour and I’ll give you a nice badge and a sucker!” You clap your hands in mock excitement, before flattening your tone and expression “So that way, when you wanna play firemen, you can do it without jeopardizing the professionals! Fuck you very much, get off of my scene.” 

Looking back it was probably the thing that doomed you, but you’d been too caught up in the moment to see it that way. Your radio had rattled off with the sound of your captain calling you in for an assist.

You hadn’t thought to really sus out the reaction of the men you’d bitched out. Had been all too happy to give up your position dealing with them to a wet behind the ears rookie. 

After getting the fire under control and surviving the end of your shift you’d gone home and face planted on the couch. After chugging down your weight in electrolytes and ramen, you joined the server for the firefighter’s support group.

You’d been soothed by the jokes your online support system cracked when you retold the clusterfuck of a day. Before logging off for the night you get a friend request from some random account with a string of numbers and a skull icon. You snort but look through the profile. Scoffing when you see that it was made in the last hour.

Fucking bot accounts. You’d have to ask the mods to check out their spam filters next time they were on. 

<SR141698 has been Blocked!>

Ugh, you needed a bath.

Preview of next part:

“Open your mouth.”

Your eyes widen and you struggle against the tight grip around your chin. His warm hands only tighten, causing your lips to pucker. A husky laugh sounds from behind your shoulder and you can feel the brush of cotton against your ear.

“C’mon pretty girl, open up, captain just wants to give you a sucker.”

[webdollzz]

omg like ok imagine professor!rafe like distancing from her because he doesn’t want people to catch on and he’s trying to make them less suspicious. so he doesn’t fuck her for weeks and she starts getting horny desperate and decides to tease him but he continues to brush her advances off and she finally flirts with this guy in the class and rafe fucking looses it. tells her to stay after class and grabs her wrist and brings her back into his office, bends her over his lap, and forces her MINI skirt up (it’s so small it barely covers anything and that only pisses him off more) and spanks her so much she’s going to have marks for days. she ends up sobbing and tells him she just wanted daddy to notice her and he gets all soft on her, telling her he’s sorry, and he loves her, then he fucks her so good and they cuddle after…

LIKE…i can’t he’s actually so yummy 😋 🤤

a/n: this is actually such a scrummy request I got a lil wet mmm mmm mm delicious. love me some professor!rafe.

warnings: older!professor!rafe x younger!student!f!reader. spanking, slight spit kink?, rough handling before he gets all softie, manipulative themes, age gap relationship (all legal, she's 19–21, he's 30–35), possessive and jealous themes, daddy kink cuz he is lit daddy. People know..but like...they don't confront it...or acknowledge.

It wasn't very well hidden amongst the other students that there was something going on between you and Mr Cameron, but everyone, as if it was an unwritten rule, decided to not bring it up.

One, they were all a little scared of Rafe. Some say they've heard rumours of him killing a cop a few decades back, but it was just rumours.

Two, he was the only non wrinkled, slow talking, helpful teacher in the college. If he got fired and they all had to go back to teachers way past their teaching prime, they'd drop the class.

So, they ignored the tension between you, the fact you both coincidentally always show up with hickeys at the same time, and the lingering stares.

Besides, they had no hard evidence to confirm it, just suspicion.

But they hadn't seen any of that in a few weeks now. And God, you were desperate.

You tried touches that lasted a little too long, hidden meaning words, short skirts, no bra, and got nothing. Rafe was just ignoring you.

He felt wrong for doing this. You had your whole life, you shouldn't spend it hung up on some old guy. He was rude, grumpy, and distant. Everything he felt you didn't need.

That's exactly what you need.

But, if you couldn't get it from him, you'll get it elsewhere. You decided to wear an especially short skirt, practically a belt, and a little plain tube top. You're sat in Rafe's lesson, not staring at him for once, and actually looking at the board.

"Hey, do you have notes from last week?" You whispered to the guy next to you, smiling softly. You actually did have the notes, but you needed an excuse for a conversation.

He looked you up and down briefly, knowing the rumours between you and Rafe, but shrugged. He'd take the risk.

"Yeah, yeah, course." He smiled, leaning down to his bag and pulling them out. You scooted closer to him, reading them as he held them, quickly writing it down in your notepad.

"Ugh," you moaned, making extra effort to make it sound sinful enough to get the mans imagination going. "You're a lifesaver. Thank you." you gave him a sticky, lipglossy kiss on the cheek with a smile.

"Anytime, pretty girl." He smirked, licking his lips. You smiled back at him, batting your eyelashes like you would at Rafe.

Who was watching the entire time.

Just because he wasn't fucking you anymore, doesn't mean he'd ever stop staring at you. Watching the whole scene play out, simply wanting to snap the pen in his hand.

You noticed his stare, but didn't meet it. Just continued talking with the boy next to you, your hands lingering on his shoulder and bicep, giggling at his so not funny jokes — it was pitiful to watch you try and flirt with someone other than him. Just so you could have your needy cunt fucked for five minutes before the boy left.

Rafe looked at his watch, noticing his lesson was done. "Dismissed." He told everyone, all beginning to pack their bags and leave. Including you.

"You," He pointed towards you, making you freeze. "Stay."

You nodded softly, nonchalantly waving to the boy next to you with a smile. "Call me!" he chuckled, looking back at you before back at the piece of paper you handed him with your number, nodding to himself before he left.

When everyone was out the room, it was quiet. The only sound being Rafe wiping his whiteboard free of pen, and your thumping heartbeat.

You stepped out from your chair, carefully approaching him.

"What did you want?" You asked, tone flat. Or, at least, it tried to be. If he was going to act like nothing happened, so are you.

"Watch it," He hissed, putting the eraser down and walking to his desk, his palms flat on it. "That mouth of yours has already gotten you in trouble, don't make it worse."

"What have I done? You're the one who's been a dick for weeks!" You scoffed at him, and he stalked out from behind the desk towards you. He towered over you, but kept distance so that the cameras wouldn't catch anything to fire him over. He's already had a few close calls.

"My office. Now." He hissed lowly, and when you began walking slowly, his eyes followed shortly before his feet did. Luckily the camera in his office had been out of commission for a while.

You walked quietly to his office, keeping your head low as he trailed shortly behind you. You could feel his stare on you, all of you.

He wanted to rip his skin off at how short your skirt was, seeing the lace panties he bought you. For only his eyes. Now every fucker in these halls are seeing it.

He pushed the door shut and the sound of the lock clicking sent shivers down your spine. He sat down on the slightly uncomfortable couch in the corner of his office, and stared at you expectantly.

"What?" You crossed your arms, testing the waters to see how long you can stand your ground.

"Come here. Now."

Turns out, not long.

You walked over to him slowly, sitting next to him, which made him sigh.

Grabbing your upper arm and yanking you over his lap, you yelped quietly, not wanting anyone outside to hear.

Your tummy was on his thighs, his hands rubbing soothing strokes on the backs of your legs.

"You want to tell me why you were talking to that boy?" He asked softly, but you knew it was a ruse, you had been punished enough to know what it starts out like.

"None of your fucking business."

Never stopped you from being bratty, though.

He hummed calmly, pulling up your tiny skirt, hardly needing to pull much. He fixed your panties for you, making sure they were nicely splayed against your plush cheeks before delivering a sharp hit to it, the redness immediately rising.

You gasped, burying your face into the couch cushion. Don't want to disturb the passers-by, now do we?

"Want to try that again?" He asked you, gently moving his finger over the red welt.

"B–Because I needed notes.."

Crack!

"Ow! That's the truth!" You whimpered, and he tutted.

"I saw you taking notes all of my last lesson. You always have the notes. Again." He gently pulled your panties higher, making it easier to see the wet patch forming.

"U–uhm.." You mumbled, feeling yourself get emotional. It's been so long since you were in his arms, and now that you are, it's because he's punishing you.

Crack! Crack! Crack!

You cried quietly, and he just tutted and scoffed.

"Don't fucking cry, you — you brought this upon yourself when you started talking to that boy." He grumbled, delivering several more sharp spanks to your already red ass, making you muffle sobs into his leg.

"That's not fair!" you cried, and he gave you four more, two on your ass, the other two on the backs of your thighs.

"More than fair, and you know it." He flipped you over, yanking your panties down your thighs and tossing them somewhere in his office.

You wriggled, your nose scrunching as you sniffled.

"No! M'sorry! Won't do it again." You tried to sit up but he pushed you back down, spreading your legs.

He gave small, but mean slaps onto your puffy clit, your slick sticking to his fingers as he slapped your pussy.

You mewled, looking up at him with tears in your eyes and sniffling. His other hand went to your thighs, slapping you there too. He wanted to leave handprints where people would see. And they'd see them very well with the skirts you wear.

"Have you learned your lesson?" He asked, slapping your thigh again.

You nodded quickly.

"Hm...I don't think you have." he mumbled, lifting your body to go back to spanking your plush ass.

"I'm sorry! Just wanted you to notice, daddy." You cried, and his moments paused. "J–Just wanted you to...to touch me again, m'sorry daddy."

Well, now he felt bad.

"That so?" He asked, barely even above a whisper, bringing you to sit on his lap, facing him instead.

"Uh huh. You haven't even looked at me for weeks, or spoken to me!" You hiccuped, looking at him with big eyes and large tears sitting on your waterline.

His face softened, as did his touch. He gently wrapped his hands around your hips.

"I'm sorry, baby...I didn't realise it upset you so much. I only did it because another teacher asked me about you." He cooed, letting you tuck your head under his chin, nuzzling his neck.

"Could've told me instead of ignoring me..." You whispered against his skin and he could feel your soft lips brushing against him.

"Couldn't be seen with you for a while outside of class, and they check emails." He explained, rubbing over your sore, bruised ass. He felt bad. Sort of.

"Who was the guy?" He asked, gently kissing your temple.

"Ben something."

He'd remember that name to fail him on every assignment for the next six months.

"Y'know you're my girl, right? No one can take care of you like I can." He whispered against your forehead before kissing it, and you nodded softly.

"No one else gets to touch you like me, understand? No one can make you feel as good as I do." He kissed along your cheek, lifting you up gently to kiss your jaw.

You whimpered softly, pawing at his chest as he kissed you and whispered reassurances. What you took as reassurances.

"No one protects you like I do, hm? They don't make you feel safe. I do." He began pulling off your skirt as he led your back onto the dingy couch.

You nodded along to whatever he was say, dumbly agreeing with everything he was saying. They didn't know you like he like did. Didn't fuck you like he did. Didn't treat you like he did.

They'll never be him.

"No fratboy dick can make you cum six times." He scoffed as he brought your legs up, his nose nudging your ankle before he kissed it, then began lowering your knees to your chest.

"And they definitely can't make this greedy cunt as wet as I do." He smirked to himself, running a gentle finger over your puffy clit, humming at the way it glided over with ease.

You whimpered, hips jolting at the slight stimulation.

"Please, daddy.." you cried, keeping your hands on your own legs, keeping your knees firmly against your chest, giving him the best view.

"I'm gettin' to it, let me take my time, sweet girl." He murmured, his hand going to his belt, undoing it quickly and letting it drop to the floor. He pulled his slacks down just enough to grip his cock at the base and pull it out.

He reached the hand over to your chin, tapping it roughly.

"Spit." He stared at you as the spit dribbled from your pouty lips, down your chin, and onto his hand.

He brought that hand back to his dick, using your saliva as lube and giving himself a few mean strokes, his breath hitching.

"You gonna be a good girl for me?" He asked, leaning forward to line himself up. You nodded quickly.

"F'course, daddy."

He slapped his tip against your clit, making you huff.

"Say it." He warned, taking your legs away from your chest and wrapping them around his hips instead.

"M'gonna be a good girl, daddy." you whispered oh so pitifully, and he smiled.

"There's my girl." He slowly began pushing into your tight hole. No matter how many times you fuck, you never adjust.

You whine quietly, squeezing your eyes shut as you clawed at his arm. He had the girth and the length, and despite it being the best dick you've ever had, it was still a struggle.

He watched your tight cunt stretch to accommodate him as he slowly bottomed out inside you. You whimpered, and he nodded.

"I know, baby, I know. Just a few more seconds and you'll feel so good...just relax baby." He cooed, kissing your nose, cheek, and lips gently.

You untensed your muscles, feeling the slight sting of pain fade away, your cunt fluttering and clenching around him.

"Y'can move now, daddy." You whispered into the kiss, and he took a cautious glance at your face to see if you were lying, which you've done before.

"Okay, princess." He slowly slid himself out before he slammed back in, deep but slow strokes, making you hiccup and whimper with every one.

He kissed down your neck and collar bone, grabbing your shirt and ripping it before he kissed over the valley of your breasts.

He looked up at you, seeing your scrunched up face and parted lips. God, you looked so pretty whilst he fucked you.

He kissed his way back up, burying his face into your neck as his arms wrapped around your waist.

"Fuck — best pussy I've ever had, y'know that?" He groaned, speeding up his thrusts, making you bite his shoulder to resist a cry.

You scratched at his back, keeping your legs tight around his waist as he pounded into you, strokes deep and fast, making your head spin.

The sounds of your cunt and skin slapping filled the room, his pelvis nudging your puffy clit occasionally. You moaned and whined, writhing beneath him.

He groaned and grunted into your neck, his moans mixing with yours as you felt the coil twist tighter in your abdomen.

"M'close, daddy.." you whimpered, and he nodded, trailing a hand down to circle his thumb over your clit.

"Cum for daddy, baby. C'mon." He cooed, feeling himself grow closer as he felt your soft cunt squeezing and fluttering around him rapidly.

"O–Oh! Oh!" You whined in his ear, your legs shaking as your orgasm ripped through you, coating his dick and pelvis. He chuckled quietly before he kissed your shoulder, ramming into you to chase his own high.

You squeaked and squealed, but stayed still, knowing that he'd get upset if you made him lose his rhythm.

He panted in your ear, grumbling a quiet. "Fuckin' love you — and this pussy, fuck." before his orgasm met him, his hips stopping as he buried himself as deep as he could inside you, letting out a low growl like sound as he came, filling your pussy to the brim.

He stayed there for a moment to let both of you catch your breaths before he slowly pulled out, muttering a quiet apology as you whimpered, and began cleaning you up with some tissues.

He dressed you and himself again, but didn't want you to leave. So, he wrapped an arm around your waist tightly, pulling you tighter on his lap and resting his head against yours.

"Did you mean it?" You asked quietly, fiddling with a button on his shirt. He knew what you were referring to. His little slip up.

"Yeah..I did." He mumbled, pushing down the guilt that replaced the euphoria in his abdomen.

"I love you too." You kissed his shoulder.

Thank god his office was almost completely soundproof.

Almost.

© WEBDOLLZZ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Autographs

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt x GN!Reader

Summary: You’re the social media manager for AFC Richmond’s socials. You’ve been seeing a trend of asking players for their autograph so you decided to try it out with your team.

Ted Lasso Masterlist

You hold your phone up as you peek into the locker room. All of the boys are dressed so you enter with a grin on your face. You keep a stack of papers close to your chest as you quickly head into Coach Beard's office.

"Hey, coach, training doesn't start for another thirty minutes, right?"

Beard checks his watch and nods, "Affirmative."

You nod, "Cool. I'm going to film some content for the socials then," you turn to Roy, starting with you. You press record and hold out a picture to him, "Can I get your autograph, coach?"

"Fucking hell," Roy grumbles as he sees a younger version of himself staring back at him, "Where the fuck did you find this?"

"Did some digging. Love the curls, by the way," you hold out a marker and Roy glares at you. He still scribbles out his name on the photo, handing it back to you, "There. Now fuck off."

You snicker, "Thanks a bunch!"

You exit the office and zero in on your boyfriend, Jamie. You waltz right up to him with giddiness. He smiles up at you as he finishes lacing up his boots. He stands and pecks your lips, "What's with the look, babes?"

You hold out a picture of a small Jamie posing on a pitch, "Can I have your autograph?"

His brows shoot up in surprise, "No fuckin' way. Where'd you find this?"

"I asked your mom to send me a pic of when you were little."

He chuckles, "Look at me. A sexy lil thing, aren't I?" You snort and hand him the marker. He signs his name and draws a heart, writing his initials and yours inside it. He caps the marker and hands it back to you along with the picture, "There ya go, babes."

"I'll cherish it forever."

You look down at your next photo and go up to Sam, who gives you a polite grin, "Good afternoon, Y/N!"

"Hi, Sam! Can I get your autograph?"

"Of course!" you hand him a picture of when he was a young teen and he laughs, "Oh my."

Jamie, who decided to follow you, reaches for the picture, "Aw look at you, Sammy boy!" Jamie shows all the boys Sam's picture and Sam bashfully chuckles.

"Alright, give it here, Jamie!" Sam swipes it back and signs his name. When he gives it back to you, he asks, "Where did you find this picture?"

"I scrolled through your old Facebook photos."

Sam sighs and shakes his head, "I knew I should've deleted those."

The next person you go up to is Colin. He's a small skinny thing, donning his primary school uniform, smiling widely.

Colin looks up at you in disbelief, "Did you reach out to my parents for this?"

You give a nonchalant shrug, "Maybe."

Each interaction with the boys went this way. Each one was surprised to see a picture of a younger version of them being handed to them. The surrounding players hollering and teasing each other for how they looked back then.

Jamie stood beside you the entire time, watching each interaction and just hanging around you. How could he not? He's always drawn to your presence. Not only that, he just adores how well you get along with the guys. You're sweet and funny, which makes it easy for them to say "yes" to whatever kind of video you want to film for the team's socials. You're very good at your job.

After all the photos are signed, you set them out so everyone can see. You stand back, watching the boys mess around with each other. You're already uploading the videos to your dropbox so you can edit them all together on your work computer.

Jamie wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your temple, "Must be nice getting paid to make fun of footballers," he says with a smirk.

You giggle, "So fun! Seriously so glad Keeley hired me on! Probably the most fun I've ever had in any job!"

"Also probably the best job ever since you get to hang around your hot footballer boyfriend too, yeah?" He gives you a playfully nudge.

You snort, turning to completely face him, your arms hooking behind his neck, "Oh absolutely," you lean in to kiss him but Roy steps in, pushing you two away from each other, "Get a room, you disgustingly cute little shits."

You look at each other confused, but then shrugged as Roy yelled, "Whistle! WHISTLE!" The gaggle of football players quiet and you quickly wave at Jamie. You blow a kiss at him and mouth, "I'll see you later."

He blows you a kiss back and waves, earning him a slap on the head from Roy.

"Oi! What the hell, gramps?"

"Pay attention!" Roy grumbles and turns his attention back to the rest of the players, ready to prepare them for today's training.

[gowonminajxx]

— hobie brown and his smutty tendencies

:: A HC LIST. can be gn!reader but mainly for f!reader <3

++ me just blurting out all this shit LOL.

// CWs :: slight and extreme smut, smoking, hobie being flirty af 🤷‍♀️, author has terrible writing for british characters

— X = sfw

— XX = suggestive

— XXX = blatant smut

pick up lines are a no-go. hobie jst is smooth like that (X)

didn’t know hobie had that DAWG in him!

thinking about how hobie probably would never use those cheesy pick up lines someone like miles would use — or even peter b. hobie let’s it play out, hints being thrown everywhere about how he cares for you and wants to develop a further relationship with you (aka dating!!)

often calls you those pet names such as “doll” “bee” and other playful / dating ones even if you aren’t in a relationship. if you don’t like them, he teases you with them even more.

hobie brown and his lil smoking sessions with you (if you want to obviously) (XX)

thinking about how hobie will always insist on smoking with you. whether it’s plain old cigs or you and him are rolling papers together, getting high as hell in his own home.

if it was your first time, he’d teach you how to smoke it (simply.)

“just roll your pretty lips around the cig, and take a big breath. alright, doll?” he’d lean in just so you could hear, his breath grazing across your neck.

his intricate ways of touching you and finding excuses to touch you (XX)

hobie will always find some way to wrap his hand around your shoulders, place them there or place them .. in other places.

he often finds himself starved for your touch or some sort of physical contact between you two. his hand always glides from your shoulder to your waist, then a little higher, then a little lower, until he’s practically massaging your side.

once you two are further into your relationship, he always finds a way to touch you in more private places (such as your ass, hips or chest.)

if you two were in private or no one could see you, he’d wrap his hands right across your hips or your chest and give a little squeeze before pecking your neck with a soft kiss.

in public?? FO’ SURE .. (XXX)

thinking about how hobie enjoys seeing you squirm in public especially if he’s groping you somehow or whispering seductively in your ear.

he’d definitely be the type to pull you aside in the middle of something and fuck your brains out! for sure. ramming you against a bathroom stall? FOR SURE.

oh yeah, and taking you aside before or after a concert of his and seeing how willing you are to give him the juiciest head he’s ever had in his life. your lips forming around his length so sweetly, he couldn’t help but groan so loudly even if there’s people around checking themselves out in the mirror.

would he be the type to stick a vibrator in you and make you walk around? that’s up to you 🤷‍♀️……. he’d probably get a laugh out of it yk yk

musical instruments (X)

thinking about how hobie would teach you all his favorite songs on his guitar, while you sit in his lap. he guides your fingers gently, making you strum each string on perfect tune.

if you didn’t get it right, he’d help you and demonstrate for you, holding you close to his in the process.

his chin would be nudging into your neck the whole time while you play. no wonder you were messing up!

musical instruments and fingers (XXX)

thinking about how hobie teaching you how to play his favorite songs turns into him slamming 3 fingers inside of your entrance, causing you to let out loud cries.

the fact he takes off his rings to help you play already sets a tick off in your head. thinkin like .. damn is he gonna finger me?? you get a little excited at the thought even, giggling as his eyebrow raises.

“what’s so funny, doll?” he’d ask if you started giggling.

JSJSJJSS and just thinking about how hobie couldn’t get past one practice with you without turning it into a whole make out session + sex. his ass would NOTT stop thinking abt all those dirty thoughts the two of you share.

that’s all!!!! might update sooner or later thanks for reading my tiny little thoughts

[tw1l1te]

Heyy you fabulous writter! You've had me hooked ever since I first found a post of yours and I don't know if you're taking writing requests but if you are...I'd like to humbly request you to write this idea?🙏

Essentially I think it'd be really cute having a small one-shot of the LU boys in twilights hyrule and them meeting his S/O. His S/O can either be a simple farmer who grew up in the same area or the idea of someone he met on his journey who also had animal turning 'abilities'/features comes to mind so they understand each other more than most. IDK if it's a silly idea or not I just thinks the boys reactions (especially time teasing twilight and such) would be Hella cute! Anyways thanks and keep the good work up! 🫡

- Anon🧋

Yesyesyesyes living out my cottage core dream with mr. cowboy teehee

~

Twilight was getting giddier by the second as he approached Ordon, and the boys could tell. He was clenching and unclenching his fists, trying the keep the nervousness at bay, but how could he do that when he was about to see you. His beloved.

"I don't think I have ever seen you this jittery before, Pup. What's wrong?"

Twilight was about to answer him when they hear a loud gasp.

Twilight turns to see you on a tree above them, clad in what seems to be.... his old tunic? You jump down, hopping down branch by branch before landing inches away from Twilight.

"Oh by three- you're home! I missed you so much-"

He shuts you up, by pulling you in for a kiss, months of love and desperation melting onto you.

You had to pull away to avoid creating awkwardness for the others, "Alright, easyyy cowboy. Now why don't you tell me about your lil' friends?"

Time raises an eyebrow at him, clearly interested in your character.

"Oh! I completely forgot t' introduce myself! I'm Y/n, mister hero's partner."

Time nods, holding out a hand to shake.

"I'm Time, a... friend of Link's. We all met on his recent adventure."

You nod, squinting a bit at him, then eyeing the rest of them. You walk around them slightly, eyeing their garb and equipment a bit before nodding back at your boyfriend.

"They're Links too, aren't they?"

Legend jumps slightly at that, "How did you-"

You smile at him, "I gotta good nose."

Twilight shakes his head, chuckling "Alright, lets go back to the village before you start figuring everyone out."

You jog up to him, animatedly waving your hands, rambling about Colin and how good with swordsmanship he's become. Before you could continue rambling, Wind asks, "How'd you two meet?"

You and Twilight pause, looking at each other before responding.

"Oh, y'know, I met him on his quest during the Twilight Era. Stinky do-wait, they know, right?"

"They're too nosy for their own good."

"Right, so. I met him while I was in my alternate form. Fell on top of me from a brittle tree-"

"-Wait, you have a wolf form too?!" Wind exclaims, running up to you.

You snort, this kid's funny.

"Nah, that's hero's spirit and all. It's better if I show ya."

You focus for a moment before you feel the shift, still uncomfortable but so much less painful than the first time it happened, oh so many years ago.

Opening your eyes, you can feel your senses sharpen, everything intensifying tenfold.

"A fucking fox???!?!! Twilight, your wife is so cool."

"Not my wife yet, but thank you."

You walk up to Wind, cooing at him. He hesitantly pets your fur on your head, earning him a soft purr from you.

You walk up to the rest of them, just looking at them. You give a few extra sniffs to the pink-haired one, him smelling like hare.

Shifting back, you walk back to Twilight, your fur coat retreating back into your skin. You give him a peck on the cheek, continuing your way back to the village.

"Y'all coming or what?"

Twilight breaks out of his lovestruck trance, following you. Time walks up to Twilight, muttering to him,

"I can tell you've got a thing for foxy personalities."

"Oh, shut up."

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 22

Good lord y'all I am never doing a 2 week edition of the Spreadsheet ever again this is actually insane. Like this is the longest post I have ever made. There's like 35 fics on here :)

Anyway as always you can find the spreadsheet here and the masterlist of my recs (that is currently unupdated lol oops) here.

Recs below the Pedro!

Joel

Mothman Fever a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You meet a really hot guy at the Mothman Festival and almost hook up with him, then you meet him again at the Mothman Stakeout except this time he's not just Joel... he's MOTHMAN!!! This fic is so good. It's funny and hot and amazing. Lil element of sex pollen in there and ya know, my favorite, monsterfucking. Also the shirts reader wears had me hollerin'.

Deliver Me From Nowhere a series by @atinylittlepain

Joel got his sheep ranch in a sleepy Colorado town and decided to slow his life down finally. Delores comes speeding into it, literally, in desperate need of help. As of right now there's a prologue and chapter one out, but I've got a little insight into the full story, and just trust me. This fic is worth your time. It's soft, gentle, and sweet, but do not forget that Joel Miller is capable of so much violence. And he's a protector, a caretaker. I love the way the town feels like a character and the way Joel can't help but help her, and AGH. This fic, man.

No closer could I be to god a one shot by @proxima-writes

Okay so this is set in Jackson... you're the town preacher's wife and you are hooking up with Joel Miller. This fic is super hot. I fucking love infidelity fics and I love when there's a lil blaspemy and sacrilege in a fic and this is just such a good fucking example of that. And the ending is so good.

Guard Dog a one shot by @romana-after-dark

TW Dub con, but it's Joel not reader. Raider!Joel fucks with the wrong girl. Reader fucks Joel at gun point and like there's a gun blow job in there and he's so submissive and he's also obviously pretty into it? And then he's obviously very into it. This is was so unreasonably hot. Just like... oh my god? Joel on his knees and whimpering and begging to cum? Good dog…

Jizz Fingers a Joel (and others) series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This is probably my favorite crackfic ever. A splorgimum (alien boy) from another planet can shape shift into anything you want and has various other special space boi powers that make hooking up with him a really good time. This so funny, like you will probably cackle out loud and have to find a way to explain what you're laughing at, but ummmm it's also pretty hot. And I refuse to be ashamed of wanting to fuck amorphous blob boy turned HBO Joel Miller. I mean have you seen what those Jizz Fingers can do?

Not so tough now, is she a one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Your cute lil raider group gets taken over by Joel's much scarier one. He needs to show your group that you are no longer in charge, and he chooses to ruin any authority you could possibly have by fucking you in front of them. TW NONCON. This is depraved and hot and terrifying. I loved the different ways the men in the group reacted too, from boldly participating to obvious disgust. Really shines a light on the spectrum of human depravity oof.

Oblivion a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Your boyfriend's dad is a sweet older man who you go visit sometimes, bake him things, talk about photography... Your boyfriend cheats on you. So you cheat back and let the guy take pictures. He sends those pictures to your boyfriend's dad... and suddenly sweet old man Mr. Miller is not so sweet anymore. TW Dub con, you totally wanted Joel but this is not how you wanted him. This is really hot and a little scary and just FUCK Yes. This is so fucking good

Pillow Queen a one shot by @beskarandblasters

You watch a porn video while Joel is sleeping beside you. He wakes up while you’re watching it. You tell him you want to try that position and he calls you a pillow queen. You prove him wrong. One thing I love more than almost anything else is proving a man wrong lmao. This is so fucking hot it's unreal. That got rode within an inch of his life lmao

All I did was what I had to do a series by @corazondebeskar-reads

I'm not 100% sure why I read this because if someone pissed even in my general direction in real life I'd literally cut their dick off and feed it to them... anyway that is not how I feel about it in fic apparently. Your raider!Joel's little pet or whatever and a new recruit thinks he can make a pass at you. Joel pisses in your mouth right in front of him and then shoots the fucker in the dick. Then he makes it up to you with some overstimulation :)

truth or dare a one shot by @joelscruff

Mean scary neighbor Joel, fuck yes!!! Your friends dare you to "see how far you can get" with your neighbor Joel during a game of truth or dare. You go over there and end up locked in his garage. There's elements of TW DUBCON here, but also he does give you a brief opportunity to leave. This is brutal. He's rough and a little gross about it and it is so hoooottttttttt!!!! And then there's this bit with a flashlight.... anyway I also would ditch these friends since you literally disappear for god knows how long and they don't even bat an eyelash like???

Something wretched about this a series by @covetyou

This is gonna be a series, but so far I've only seen chapter one,,,, Wherein Joel is a drug dealer and you need pain meds for your dad who is very ill. He can't work so you don't have ration cards, but you need ration cards to buy pain meds so he can work to get ration cards. Viscious cycle. Thankfully, Joel is accepting other methods of payment. The main kink in this one is pussy spanking and is so delicious oh my god. Reader is shocked by how much she likes it, honestly I think Joel is shocked by how much she likes it.

Joel + Veracruz

A Lesson in Blackmailing a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles  

No reader in this one! Just Joel domming comandante Veracruz and Veracruz liking it way more than he probably should. Joel is so fucking mean and Veracruz is a brat but he ends up just being a pathetic mess jacking himself off in an alley and I love every second of this.

Dave

Notes on Tutoring a series by @honestly-shite

Dave is your new music tutor and you are down real bad for him even though he's a major fucking asshole. You end up fucking him and then a lot of shit goes down and literally any other summary I can think of is full of spoilers. But this fic, y'all. Oh my god. The way Dave is characterized is so frustrating and so so good. It's perfect. Every detail that is slowly revealed about him is so perfect. The instrument(s) he plays, the music he likes, his background, where he's from, what went down before you met, all of it, is so perfect. The ending may possibly make you mad? But I liked it. I thought it made perfect sense for these two characters.

The Princess and the Duke a series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Originally just Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 3 prompt "Daddy please" and then followed up with Kintober Day 4 prompt "Risk of getting caught," this is now a series so I'm reccing it as such. And FUCK it is hot. Dave is very much still Murder Daddy but he's so soft and sweet for reader... I mean he's still a scary and dominate motherfucker, but it's hot and the fucking tenderness and vulnerability he shows with reader has me fucking reeling dude.

Din

Taungsdays, am I right? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You and Din get attacked by some sort of horny tentacle monster alien thing and it gives you both the fuck of your life, basically. The horny tentacle monster basically wants to fuck you both but also wants to you and Din to fuck. If you like tentacles and/or sex pollen and a lil m!receiving assplay, this fic is so for you. Also even though you didn't exactly consent to getting railed by a tentacle monster, you and Din love each other and are pretty sexually adventurous so it's a good time for everyone involved lol.

Bleed for me a series by @saradika

Din is the mand'alor and a vampire and you are his chosen one, the one he will keep to feed and fuck and whatever else... but you have a secret reason for even volunteering to be chosen in the first place... I'm obsessed with the world building, with the suspense, with the characterization. I'm in love with this fic UGH. It's so fucking good. Din is so hot and scary and perfect in every way. Reader is such a badass too like... girl that is a terrifying situation you have put yourself in. The plot twist is everything. I love thissss

A Place of Safety a series by The_InvisibleWoman (AO3)

Okay so you're a bounty and Din picks you up and he goes to take you in, actually does take you in, but something is just fucking off about the whole thing. And then there's a lil grogu situation, reclaiming the bounty and all that. He decides to try to find her somewhere safe to live and in the process he falls for you and you fall for him and it is so fucking sweet and beautiful and perfect and I love it so much. There are currently 34 chapters and it's ongoing and I am ravenous for this fic fr.

Whispers in the Dark a series by @kewwrites

TW NONCON!!! This is the darkest Din fic I've ever read. It's fucked up on so many levels, man. Read the warnings and be fucking careful because it's got probably 99% of all the triggers possible. Kew, baby, are you okay? That being said, I loved it. It didn't feel like it was glorifying Din's behavior or justifying it or anything. It was just a beautiful and painful representation of what a broken man is capable of and what it can mean for a person to be wrapped up in that with him. If you can handle it, you should read it. This one will stick with you

Frankie

A Fond Farewell a series by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Angela has written something so beautiful and so painful. It's real, raw, and it fucking hurts. If you're looking for angst this is the fic for you lol. I really loved Frankie in this. I also really really adored Santi's character. This fic is gorgeous. It's one of those things where shit keeps getting in the way of something that should be easy and it makes you want to scream and cry and throw shit. It's also largely based on real events, which just makes it hurt a little more because Ang is my soul mate :')

Slumber a one shot by @write-and-buried

A filthy, lovely, consensual somno fic with a bit of squirting. Frankie is feral and he is so hot in this oh my god. I loved every single second of this fic. Frankie is so in love with you it's adorable and maybe a little gross. Which is just very Frankie. I've read this three times in 2 weeks.

Frankie + Tommy

Group Therapy a one shot by @beskarandblasters

we're pretending therapists don't have a code of ethics because holy shit this is hot. Frankie goes to therapy for his trauma and meets Tommy Miller (who says he looks just like his brother Joel). Frankie and Tommy both have their eyes set on one of the group's therapists. They ask you to go for a drink at the American Legion next door and it's not long at all before you've found a back room and then you fuck them both... Frankie is so soft and adorable through almost the whole thing and then he's fucking you and goes feral and it is so hot dude

Javi P

Drenched a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Me and Ang had some brainrot about Javi P wherein we discussed the fact that we would let this man do things we have never let any man do before. This resulted in a beautifully wet fic where you get covered in spit and cum. And it is so hot.

Carmen: Darlin' Darlin' a series by @thesummerpetrichor

You're the ambassador's daughter and you get dragged to this weekend get away thing for the DEA and Javier Peña is there. What follows is flirting and teasing and getting fucked in public and it is amazing. I love the reader character so much. Fiesty little mean ass bitch that she is, she's just like me. This whole thing reeks of daddy issues, and again I say, she's just like me. This fic is so hot.

Video Games a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

Yes, I did in fact read the whole masterlist, don't look at me. DADS BEST FRIEND JAVI P???? I have never read a dbf!javi, I'm pretty sure. This is so angsty and hot and perfect. The way they dance around each other for literal years (yeah I'm pretty sure that's grooming, but I don't think it was intentional... moving on) and then finally they just crash together and it is so hot. The way he talks you through it and he's so tender and soft and perfect fuck. It's like the Javi from those scenes with Helena or Elisa where that asshole exterior is gone and that overwhelming tenderness you know he has in him comes out and just UGH. Perfection.

Off to the races a one shot by @thesummerpetrichor

I told you. The whole masterlist. Anyway. In this one, you're a sociology student doing research at the embassy and you're relegated to the DEA offices where you go about making Javier's life a living hell. Eventually he caves and fucks you over his desk. And then it becomes a whole toxic thing that is just so perfectly Javi and I love it so much and also the smut is ungodly hot.

Murder Daddy Kinktober Day 5: Who Does This Belong To? a one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

dude... Javi kissed another girl and you want to remind him who he belongs to so you tie him up, get him all worked up, make him confess his sins, and then untie him and leave the apartment, where he is left to pathetically jack himself off and be ashamed of himself. FUCK this is so hot. I love bratty whimpering pathetic Javi.

Dieter

Candy a one shot by @secretelephanttattoo

Dieter takes you to a closed down carnival and you suck his dick in the house of mirrors and it is delicious. I'd like to go on random adventures with Dieter... *sigh*

Crumbs, sloppy seconds, and backwash a one shot by @chloeangelic

Dieter is not so great at the whole monogamy thing, and you know this. You're actually into this, which means you've gotten yourself into a toxic cycle of encouraging the behavior and then regretting it. I love how desperately they need each other and how much you can tell they care for each other. I really fucking love the ending. I love how it’s a bit toxic, but there’s little hints in there that Dieter is trying to be what she wants. AHHH I can't believe this is her first Dieter. 

Unwind a one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

You have a terrible day and you start your period and it's just awful. Dieter takes care of you and it is the sweetest most lovely thing. So fluffy and perfect and wonderful ughhhh I love him so much.

Ghost in the sheets a one shot by @proxima-writes

As a lover of shitty paranormal investigation shows, this was fucking incredible. Dieter is such an annoying little shit in his somehow endearing way and I love him. I loved all the ghosty bits and the flirting and the bickering and AGH. I don't think I'd be down to fuck in a haunted attic irl, but maybe Dieter could convince me lol.

Max Phillips

Lust for a vampire a one shot by @idolatrybarbie

You're a bartender at a vampire themed strip club and after your shift the whole vampire thing gets a little too real. Max is so hot and he fucking turns you and it's so good FUCK. I love the freakiness of the location he takes you to also, really adds to the vibe.

A Real Challenge a one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Oh my god? Max making you wear a plug to work and then making you push it out and then fucking you in a conference room and then making you fucking leave the office in a very embarrassing way that I won't spoil. I'm panting.

Oberyn AND Max Phillips

a court of fangs and foxgloves a one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Oberyn is the lord of a vampire court and you were turned in order to serve him, but you left, uncomfortable with the bond formed when a vampire lord turns you. You regret this decision and come crawling back and Oberyn makes your life hell about it. He isn't exactly ready to forgive you, but instead of killing you for being an insolent little shit he fucks you and his other little pet Max about it. Well actually he fucks Max and Max fucks you... semantics. This is hot.

Maxwell Lord

Working Overtime a oneshot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles 

Dismantling internalized homophobia one rim job at a time! Maxwell doesn't think he'll like getting his lil ass ate out but oh boy is he wrong. And his jizz covered desk is pretty clear evidence of that.

---------------

I'm not even gonna rec my own fics because this is unreasonably long lmao.

[covenofthearticulate]

Have you decided what your fav characters’ favorite plays are?

NO I'M TOO OVERWHELMED LMAO HELP!! Okay but here are some thoughts about what sort of theatre I think they enjoy:

Lestat: Obviously since he got his start doing commedia dell'arte I think he'll always have a soft spot in his heart for those old comedies. (Honestly, I think Lestat is one of the only vampires who enjoys "lowbrow" comedy and I love that for him.) The style of traveling street theatre Lestat would've been performing during his time as Lelio was largely improvisational, and though it moved into a more scripted form over time, I think Lestat is an improv queen. I also get all giddy and happy thinking about his reaction to the fact that commedia dell'arte is still performed today! Like, I did a production of Servant of Two Masters in college lmfao it's still viewed as one of the foundational tenants of theatre to this day and I think that would really tickle him.

He's also a Shakespeare fan but historically speaking we know Lestat would've had to have read French translations which of course weren't impossible to come by, but given all of Lestat's circumstances in his early life (poor, uneducated, etc) it's definitely worth noting that he would've had to have worked hard to get at Shakespeare. I think it's so funny that his favorite play in canon is Macbeth and that he sees himself as Macbeth, whereas Louis and Claudia totally saw him as Lady Macbeth (which is why I wrote a lil ficlet about it LOL)

Okay LASTLY I also just want to say I think Lestat loves loves LOOOOVE restoration comedy and the comedy of manners that was a little before his time but just really focused on like. Outrageous comedy and satire. Lestat likes to laugh, okay!! He loves Moliere just as much as he loves Shakespeare! Tartuffe and She Stoops to Conquer are definitely plays he can quote by heart.

Armand: Shakespeare, yes, but very specifically: Jacobean Revenge Tragedies. These were a lot darker, a lot more hardcore and angsty (as the title suggests!). One day I'll have to get Armandblr's input for some meta and psychological background as to why Armand would be obsessed with plays where the protagonist is wronged so egregiously that they go down a path of murder and (gruesome, often cannibalistic) bloodshed and rage-induced hysteria that ultimately ends in their own demise. But for now I'll just say that I feel it in my bones. I think he staged The Spanish Tragedy at least a few times at the Theatre des Vampires.

Also I think he'd definitely be into theatre of the absurd, especially in his Devil's Minion era! He goes through phases where he really leans into the existentialism and finds it amusing and thought-provoking, but sometimes it also majorly fucks him up (similar to Lestat)

Louis: He's a Romantic at heart, and certainly he loves the classics, but we've already been over Shakespeare so I'll say that I also think Louis has a soft spot for the American canon. Think Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller, Eugene O'Neill, etc. He's a modernist girlie, and I think those plays would be a good guiding light into understanding modern America for Louis. I think Louis often sees middle class America as a fascinating subject to study (rather than, like, a reality that real people live), and I think modernist plays are really good at toe-ing the line of like, being deeply humanizing and beautiful and tragic if done right, and also still being somewhat performative and maybe even a bit artificial and contained behind a fourth wall. I think that dichotomy would be fascinating to Louis. His favorites would be A View from the Bridge and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Marius: Unfortunately there are like 0 Roman tragedies that survived in writing, but we know that they existed and were actually slightly different than Greek tragedies in that the characters actually voiced more of their internal psychological conflict, and also apparently the playwrights were influenced by the development of new rhetorical theory, so a lot of the writing incorporated like public persuasion. So I do think Marius would've been into those but listen I also happen to know for a fact that Marius' favorite play is Shakespeare's Coriolanus. He told me himself. I just read over the wiki synopsis to refresh my memory and I'm losing my mind over this line: "The two tribunes condemn Coriolanus as a traitor for his words and order him to be banished. Coriolanus retorts that it is he who banishes Rome from his presence." like PLEASE that's so petty I love it. Real talk though Marius loves a good political drama and look I know I've brought up Shakespeare a lot in this post already but no one is doing it like him, especially with the Romans!!

Daniel: he's a theatre of the absurd queen <3

[abiiors]

Hello hello ✨

Okay could you write something about George? Oooo maybe him guiding you through having sex for the first time ? Like you’ve done other stuff but you’ve just never gone all the way and you want to just get it over with , but he’s so good you keep coming back for more ? Maybe y’all are friends and he kinda teases you about it until your fed up and you say something like “fine then why don’t you help me out if you think it’s so funny”

working on this now so have a lil ✨crumb✨

you might even catch a reference to another fic 🤭

“so you do it then,” you challenge. 

your back is pressed against the wall of your room. faint music and chatter slips in through the cracks of the door and yet you swear you can hear the loud beat of your heat echoing all around the room. george stills in place. 

“help me out if you think it’s so funny,” you continue. no point backing out now, no point pretending you didn’t offer to let him fuck you. for the first time. “it’s long overdue anyway. i don’t want candles and flowers and a picnic under the stars. i just want to get it over with.”

“don’t say things you don’t mean, little healy.” his voice has gone hoarse as if it strains him to speak normally. you watch as he swallows roughly, the hollow of his throat becomes prominent for a brief moment and you wonder what it would feel like to get a taste of his skin. 

“who says i didn’t mean it,” you push yourself off the wall, taking one daring step closer. george stays where he is, still looking at you intently, still watching. his lips part as he tries to subtly take in a shaky breath. 

“your brother—”

“doesn’t care,” you finish for him. “someone else has his attention tonight.”

“this is so wrong…”

“why?” 

george scrutinises you, rolling his tongue in his mouth. you follow the line of it, wondering how it would feel in your mouth—its weight and its texture. how it would feel on your body, to be touched like that for the first time. 

“why is it wrong, george? i am old enough. i want this, i am consenting to it.” george stands straighter as you stop right in front of him. 

to an untrained eye, he looks casual and cool as always, effortlessly carrying all 6’4 inches of him, effortlessly beautiful and irresistible. but the vein standing taut on his arm says otherwise. he’s anything but cool and casual. if anything, he’s as charged as a live wire. 

“unless you don’t… unless that’s not something…”

“stop.”

it’s your turn to freeze and gawk up at him wordlessly. george closes the gap between you, stepping towards you until you’re back in your original place; against the wall with his hand resting next to your head. his mouth is so close as he leans down—pink and full and just…filthy. 

“you have no idea… you don’t–fuck. okay.” he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes momentarily. his face is a mask of something. almost something you recognise. but it passes just as quickly as it appears. 

“you have never done this before, any of it, have you? you couldn’t even look people in the eye while saying it, bushing and flustered like a fucking fawn.”

“i have!” you burst out, indignant and angry now. “i have done…things. i have kissed and made out with people, i have…people have seen me without a top on.”

george laughs roughly at that and swallows again. the hollow of his throat appears again, right there, tauntingly close. all you have to do is get on your tip toes and you’ll be kissing it. but then there’s the way his other arm snakes around your waist. 

you are pressed flush against the wall with barely an inch between the two of you. and even though he still hasn’t touched you, if anyone walked in on you in this position…

“so you haven’t done shit. tell me something…have you ever been touched like you touch yourself? have you ever had an orgasm that wasn’t self-induced? someone ever go down on you? make you see stars and blackout?”

the questions come out like rapid fire; each one making your blood run faster and your heart pound all over your body. heat courses through you. it’s undeniable that you want him to do all those things to you, want him to be the first. by the time he’s finished, he's breathing hard. his pupils are so dilated that his eyes might as well be black and you can feel the warmth of his breaths on your face. so you decide to take matters into your own hands, say fuck it and pull him down, crashing your mouth onto his.

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[autumn-foxfire]

Judging by the names of these episodes, it's a series of BO episodes.

As I said around a 100 episodes back, I dropped the series when I got to those episodes so everything after is mostly new to me as I kept up by checking the wiki.

Jodie and Camel <3 I really like these two so I'm lways happy to see them in an episode.

RIP to Jodie's friend.

Agasa adores to spoil his grandchildren T-T He's adorable and does not get enough love.

It makes me sad that Ai is being cut out of the BO plot however. How can Gosho write "because he isn't telling me anything, something is going on," like that's actually good writing T-T I know at this point in time it's Shinichi and Akai that Amuro are interested in due to his own personal reasons but due to the fact Bourbon had previously tried to kill Ai, I think it would be good to keep her informed.

Oh are these the episodes I saw my mutual talking about, where the BS deduction of Amuro being a secret agent is made due to Shinichi connecting his job with his childhood nickname.

Oh the friend is still alive.

Ah, a conservative women who thinks a women wearing a skirt at a certain length means she's seducing her students. Should I mention they're elementary students. What the fuck.

Amuro is such a fucking hypocrite.

Incel: I'm not a stalker!

Also incel: *Behaves like a stalker*

Well, if there is one thing Gosho is good at writing, it's creeps. But he doesn't seem to realise a lot of his "romantic" relationships are also either abusive, toxic or creepy (or all of the above).

God Amuro is being such a lil' bitch.

I hate him. He's being mean to Jodie who doesn't deserve it.

Shinichi is realizing that Amuro is a lil' bitch as well and will put all the hard work he and Akai have done to get an upperhand on the org in danger for his petty revenge against a man that doesn't deserve it as it was a misunderstanding that he partially caused.

Jodie could give Camel a run for his money with that driving.

Maybe the FBI should not just casually discuss their knowledge to one another when they know that their is a master of diguise in the BO who could be trying to swindle it out of them.

While I am annoyed half the org is made up of BO members, I do like that Amuro is still a pretty grey character.

Terrified boy!

Shinichi really needs to work on his poker face, though, he's telling his enemies his movements.

And the truth of what happened, Shinichi's and Akai's plan, has been revealed. At least by Bourbon.

Ooh, the conversation was about Shinichi and how far ahead he had managed to plan. Shinichi is a terrifying boy, it's no wonder he has Akai impressed.

Amuro: I want all you of your attention.

"Akai": And I want to listen to the TV

Poor Amuro, he thinks he's the one who has all the cards but once again Shinichi and Akai are already ahead of him.

Without context, Detective Conan is so funny because everyone is relying on this 7 year old.

Amuro pulling down "Akai's" turtle neck shouldn't be as homoerotic as it was. I know Gosho definitely didn't intend it XD

Yusaku to Amuro: I want to hear my wife, so please shut up.

Yukiko couldn't contain her love for Akai. I don't blame her. He is pretty great. And now you know many of Yusaku's fans are wondering if he's bisexual and if he and his wife will enter a thruple with the man who inspired the work.

Not Akai telling Amuro (or Rei) to stop being a lil' bitch. It's so funny.

Shinichi and Yukiko are definitely mother and son.

He learned how to be a petty lil' shit from her.

Shinichi should take some acting lessons from Akai. He needs them.

And we're introduced to the concept of Rum.

[fractualized]

Talking to friends literally yesterday, I got a sudden fixation on wafflejokes, so let me tell you how delighted I am at the amount of Mr. Waffles in The Man Who Stopped Laughing #7!

As always, spoilers ahead! (Also a drowning and some assassinations, plus a theory at the end.)

I don't know anything about Manhunter, so while this issue opening with an AA meeting is somber, it does also give a little speedrun on what her deal is.

Joker also doesn't know about Manhunter but he doesn't much care.

The poor crowd is also unfamiliar with both of them and thinks it's a street performance, including this cute volunteer Joker is eyeing. I freaking love when Joker just makes up names for people. Engaging yet dismissive.

Uhhhhhh after this panel the cute man is perfectly fine don't worry about it ok

I'm not sure what that gas Joker hit Manhunter with earlier was supposed to do, because she's back up shortly. Joker looks weirdly alluring here when she threatens him with her glowstick.

lmao I love the broad comedy beats in this comic.

And oh SHIT WHO IS DRIVING?

I've had Mr. Waffles for three issues, and if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this comic and then myself.

There's a brief segue to Jason in Gotham PD jail like there was last issue, just beats to let us know what he's up to, I guess. He's aware that there's still a Joker out there, so I'm not sure why he hasn't escaped? And now "someone" is having him transferred to Blackgate? Mystery! Anyway, here he is being manhandled:

Back in Los Angeles, Joker has taken the wheel and is still trying to get to the dang airport.

I love them. 🥰

Joker blows the helicopter to bits, and then

He's so eager to escape LA, but maybe his sourness on Gotham is coming through. He left for a reason, after all, and is only going back to take care of the Other Joker.

Meanwhile Manhunter has recovered from being nailed by a freaking cop car, and I guess it's the straightforwardness of "lady, you need to lie the fuck down" that's so funny to me.

Poor unsuspecting motorcyclist.

Then there's an unexpected diversion to Killer Moth, who is headed for Los Angeles?!

We last saw him giving information to Jason, before Jason stabbed him in the hand in exchange, so I'm not sure what he's doing here. But getting to LA sure is important!

His idiot loser vibe is going strong.

Meanwhile:

Rosenberg, you are a prince for validating my experience at In-N-Out.

I love Joker bickering with his hench rebound about traffic. 😭

We get to see Joker doing a lot of stunt driving when Manhunter is on their tail again.

Joker is so conflicted about LA! He loves that it's supposed to be superhero-free, yet earlier he said he hated the lack of pushback?

Anyway, here's more banter between Joker and his hench boytoy:

And another cute hench nickname.

Joker's idea, of course, is wildly dangerous!

And naturally she does!

But then we cut to our old friend, Hit-By-A-Train-(And-Not-The-Fun-Kind) Joker, who wakes up and sees he's in Grundy's care.

:(

This Joker showed up in Punchline: The Gotham Game #6, and I thought it took place after he was healed, but now I'm thinking he helped her out in the period before he got hit by the train, when he was dressed up like Batman investigating his old haunts. Not that it really matters to anyone but me! (That issue also sort of addressed how Punchline fell out with Joker… but not really? It's still really abrupt and disjointed how it happened. Eh. It's done.)

Back at the highway chase that I would really like to see in live action or really good animation, we have-- you got it-- more wafflejokes interaction! Until Manhunter ruins it. >:[

The crash is pretty cool, though. (Lookit the lil Waffles!)

And here's where we learn the important info that Manhunter is not a vigilante with a no-kill rule.

Hee, lookit his lil nose sticking out.

Here's hoping that Mr. Waffles is conscious and comes to the rescue! (If you're wondering if I've already attempted writing wafflejokes smut… yeah absolutely.)

Based on the description of the next issue, the rescuer is not Killer Croc. It looks like the other Joker will probably encounter Croc in the Gotham sewer. Finally making friends again? ;_;

As always, we now have the backer, which this time revolves around…

Unfortunately most of Joker's fellow rogues are uninterested in helping.

Imagining Scarecrow phonebanking sdghalgksgh

After he clears the primaries, Joker discovers there are enemies of his candidacy.

And so Joker continues to campaign (by bribing his constituency) and allow his doubles to be murdered until…

"America has run out of clowns" made me laugh. "Jarvis Poker the British Joker?!" had me laugh-crying for reasons I still can't  quite grasp.

And so the story basically ends with Joker suddenly the King of Britain?? (With shades of Emperor Joker.)

I miss the more surreal backers, but this one still gave me some good laughs.

For a last note: in the main story we've now been spending more time with the Joker who left Gotham, and since he hasn't given any signs that he's the fake, I'm starting to settle into the theory that maybe there isn't a real and a fake Joker? Maybe the somber Joker we saw at the end of his 2021 series was so weary post Joker War that he found a magic user and asked them to get rid of the parts of him that were stopping him from being the Clown Prince of Crime anymore, but because magic often has a catch, it wound up splitting him into two versions of himself. This theory also stems from that scene in TMWSL #1 where Joker is killing the crime bosses because they "lowered the standard of crime" and "made it inelegant," which he may think of his double because Sad Joker contains all the doubtful, miserable, vulnerable parts of himself. That's why he's an "imposter": he represents everything the Joker isn't supposed to be.

But who knows how long it'll be until I find out if this right. 🫠

[hertwood]

dts s3 e1-3

e1: -i'm glad that i /have/ seen lawrence stroll outside of his businessman mode (chloes wedding pictures came to mind) because i'm SURE he's a kind n lovely guy but holy cow -otmar has littlefingercore advisor to the king energy. i'll say it. -lance is very adorable bbgirl here if i became a fan in 2020 i would've been easily convinced -lando is so LIL im so excited to see more of him~ -[lando squeals] subtitle is always so funny to me. print that on a t shirt -the pink mercedes drama is So Juicy 2 me i wish i was there 2 see it -this poor mclaren man trying to spoonfeed lando pr friendly sentences -cash is king? cash is king. is SO iconic 2 me. the sport is not the same w/o sewis

e2: -christian wants to fuck toto soooooo bad its embarrassing its the end of a multimonth quarantine and ur like when can i tease my work enemy again?? embarassing -the urge to put alex getting deepthroated by that covid swab in my next gifset lmaooooooo -favorite part of christian/toto dynamic is christian will talk SOOOO much shit in front of the camera but when hes talkin to toto he's like *head craned up at a 50 degree angle* hey how ya doin -first time i watched this "DAS" as an acronym threw me off So Bad bc it's also used to describe a tetris playstyle (delayed auto shift). still really throws me off alkdjfaklsdjskjla -HI MICHELLE YEOH'S HUSBAND -"against a mercedes team that is so strong, so dominant, you have to exploit every opportunity you possibly can" hi christian i hope you respect this mindset when the tables are turned! (he wont) -love lando celebrating his p3 start (face down ass up) -being hyped up abt a potential first alex win while knowing how it ends is PAINFUL -also contextualizes alex's anger around checo only getting a 5 second penalty in singapore this year, and hes right!!! its not fucking enough -lando's first podium is so SO special tho!! and netflix do an amazing job with it with the shots of the garage going nuts and the music swelling its just incredible -and the contrast with alex's missed podium is so well done narratively. another very great episode from a writing/editing standpoint

e3: -age old mercedes driver right of passage: listening to lewis sing next door -having watched the brawn docuseries now--i think there are some interesting parallels between valtteri&lewis vs rubens&michael. theyre very different people but how many others have had that experience with a teammate like that? -always LOVE the bits with valtteri in finland my soul yearns for scandanavia -BROCEDES INTERLUDE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA -i do like these lil bits about time penalties explained in episodes because before watching races you really underestimate how much they can effect races. i'm looking forward to seeing netflix continue to use these instances for drama (especially season 4 max v lewis 👀) -TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. FUCK YOU

[pop-roxs]

hoo okay I can already tell this is gonna be long but manga thoughts!! i only read up to roughly 150 I think (Also hi hi I’m off anon! anxiety has been overcome >D<)

quick lil context of me even getting into this also! so my roomie and I have a tradition of watching really bad animes during finals weeks and this time my rookie suggested we watched black butler 2 (still so funny it’s just 2 not season two not book of ___ no. just two. Peak comedy) first half of that was laughably bad and then like ep 7 onward it was frustratingly good. Some bizarre pacing some bizzare writing choices but I liked it overall. anyways over winter break out of nowhere I got manga spoilers on my tiktok for Agni’s death and. It emotionally devastated me bc I loved him sm bc of the like one ep in 2 where he appeared. i told my roomie that and we decided to like actually watch the good parts of the anime so I could get a taste of the actual plot (and eventually we watched s1 lmao)

so yeah that bit didn’t impact me as much when I actually read it but 😭 Agni I miss you dearly you’re like one of the only people I’d trust to hold my drink in this series I KNOW you would take care of it and not spill anything. Also, I read the entire (post campania) manga while procrastinating studying for my organic chemistry exam bc chemistry is a pain in the ass and I didn’t want to look at it

right um. Other arcs. so the school arc has some BIZARRE pacing- (and i never got used to the just casually dropping the F word even if it was used iba like historical context) I was half skimming some of the pages bc I thought it was gonna be basically a fluff filler arc so that end caught me off guard- deffo enjoyed the soma content though! i sure hope he stays happy and nothing awful happens to make him stop smiling! hahah fuck.

Emerald witch arc is kinda funny to me. like yeah, okay queen of England, send this 13 (14?? I forgor) year old child to a different country to deal with werewolves. this isn’t even ur country girly what. Wolf and miss sullivan (can’t spell her first name) r fun characters I like their addition a lot. Could’ve done without the uh. weird scenes with sullivan but. whatever. (The scenes with finny taking care of ciel also were so sweet Omg I will cry- finny is probably one of my top 5 charas I love himmmmm he scares me tho )

that being said I fuckcking RECOGNIZED that shit was chemicals as soon as I saw that circle thing oh my FuckKING GOD. I literally put down my phone and stopped reading for a good while. I’m reading this manga to procrastinate my ochem I did not need it to insert itself like that >:’(((( it was good though I liked the arc a a lot (my roommate fucking burst out laughing when she saw me being angy and asked why.)

Sascha and Walmart will (sorry sir you are just not memorable) were cute! Hope we get more content of them in the future, or just more reaper lore. Please. I’m going insane all I want is lore (Also my roomie had already told me abt the reaper backstory so that didn’t rlly surprise me). Will and grell showing up for like one chapter was funny as hell, you know will was pissed bc that whole convo could’ve totally been an email or a pigeon or whatever. i missed them though so im not complaining

Idk what to call the next arc. the return of the school guys was… funny ig?? i have to be honest I kinda disconnect whenever they appear I just don’t really care for them 😭 the whole band group off was so funny though and the tonal whiplash was something I was NOT prepared for. It wasn’t as jarring as the paving of the school arc but like hWUH THATS A LOT OF PLOT AND BIG REVEALS HAPPENING REALLY FAST NOW-

love othello though. I’m a forensics chemistry major and I love the forensics part of it significantly more than chemistry so seeing a funny guy doing that is so very !!! ya :D also love the dynamic with Grelle. they’re both trans and besties you can’t change my mind- ALSO OTHELLO JUST . THROWING HIS SCYTGE AND THEN BIDING BEHIND GRELLE. Love him. ronnies still my fav dont get me wrong I am endeared with his talk-shit-while-getting-his-ass-beat mentality but othello is very close behind

wish we had more reaper lore . I would kill to know these guys backstories- Ronald and sascha seem so much you her compared to their coworkers it eats at my brain. sascha especially like aaaaaa kid what happened for you to end up here :(? MAN (also I could fight abt the reaper lore for so long. they don’t deserve this. this shits unfair. AGH…

i had more stuff that I wanted to say but forgot. sorry if this isn’t very understandable i just wrote as I thought of things- basically. reapers my beloved . I’m begging for lore please . soma my king I hope you’re okay. when will Ronald come back PLEASE he’s been gone since like campania 😭

BRO ROOMMATE ANON REVEAL!! i hope you dont mind me still using the roommate anon tag,,

agnis death def threw me off. i wasnt expecting yana to kill him off, especially after having him around for so long. that whole scene was very surprising. and yes i agree with you!! hes probably the most wholesome character in black butler next to some others like the phantomhive servants and soma.

i actually quite liked the school arc(and a lot of people in the fandom would agree w me)! but i get how you wouldnt. i personally was only mostly focusing since i just wanted to get back to grelle T^T.

i didnt really like emerald witch at first. i was mad when it had the honor of being the 100th chapter. but its grown on me since(n yeah those scenes were weird..).

i LOOOOVEEE SASCHA!!!!!! THEYRE SO CUTEEEEE X33333 they remind me of my best friend since they both have that same cheery vibe. like little guy is just making the best out of their afterlie and havin some genuine fun. i fw it. grelles outfit was also sooo hot in that chapter gaw dayum. i want a piece of that reaper PLEASE

you can call the return of the school guys the boy band arc. it was weird but i really enjoyed it.

i find it funny how everyone automatically says that othello is trans. one look at the silly science man provokes the Feeling.

trust me man, everyone wants more reaper lore. i am clawing at yanas feet and begging her to tell me what in the ever living fuck happened to grelle in her time as a human. WHAT THE FUCK KINDA LIVES DID THEY LIVE. WHAT DROVE THEM TO SUICIDE.

i understood everything you wrote, dw!! :3 im hoping soma is ok as well </3

[cagedchoices]

Hiiii I'm really sorry to bother you but I noticed on your old blog you used to have a rule that said not to treat your character like Jesse Pinkman. I think I get why its a concern but I'm wondering why it doesn't say that anymore and also I'm curious to know about what you think the differences between Caleb and Jesse are

omg ok first of all bb, you are certainly not bothering me by asking questions. i appreciate being asked thank you 🥰

secondly uh, i removed that disclaimer from my rules bc i felt like i didn't really need it anymore. it does still apply but i really only had it up bc when i was still fairly new to writing caleb i would get a lot of anons making br.ba jokes. so naturally there would be a lot of people pretending to be fuckin walter white in my inbox trying to tell caleb "let's cook" and like "jesse stop screwing around with robots and get back to work" and shit and like. yeah it's a fun little joke. ONCE. 😬

when you're seeing it multiple times a day/week it loses charm real quick. so i decided to be kinda petty about it and be like 'y'all know that caleb is NOT jesse right?' and i did two things. i flat out stopped responding to br.ba anons and i added that warning to my rules. and it seemed like it worked! i stopped getting flooded and my inbox was allowed to know peace again. but like i said, i don't think i really need it anymore because it should just be kind of a given, right? i mean i'm sure this has happened to other people before and will continue to happen bc that's the internet and unfortunately some people have no concept of boundaries and others just struggle with understanding that they might be making someone uncomfortable without intending to.

but like. to think of a popular example which i'm sure has happened before and will surely happen in the future i just think of a mun who writes joel from the last of us and maybe they like using pedro pascal's portrayal and they enjoy using him as an fc. now imagine that rper getting an inbox filled with anon messages treating joel as totally indistinguishable from the mandalorian. telling him he's gotta go find grogu or asking him why he abandoned his son for ellie or something along those lines. there are some GLARING differences between joel miller and din djarin. they're clearly not the same character.

so it might be funny to the person sending the messages and they're probably just having fun like. i'm sure they don't mean anything bad by it. but lemme tell ya, it's not as much fun to the mun on the receiving end. and in my case it sent me into a lil bit of a writer crisis like 'oh fuck is caleb nichols just a carbon copy of jesse pinkman is that how other people i write with see him?? what can i do to make him stand apart and be different without pulling him away from westworld canon too much??'

so anyway that's the rant over with. to answer the second half of this, caleb and jesse are different people. they just are. they do have a lot in common ranging from appearance to basic personality traits to the way they use body language, but they aren't completely the same. they come from different backgrounds which were influenced by various different factors.

jesse is more creative, he's an artist at heart and he has an artist's mindset and that's a kind of freedom to him. he expresses himself mainly through aesthetics. he draws, he wears a colorful wardrobe that really makes him stand out, the first time walter tells him that cooking crystal is chemistry jesse argues back that it is art and he has his signature style and he resents that walt forces him to change it. the reason jesse got involved in the drug trade is predominantly because it's the one place he is allowed and encouraged to express himself freely through art.

caleb on the other hand, is a soldier and he has a soldier's mindset toward most things. he is/was for the most part content with being told what to do next, following orders, sticking to a game plan. he expresses himself mainly through acts of service in canon, particularly to family as we see with his mom in the hospital and when he leaves his wife and daughter behind to go try and put a stop to the war that's coming. he wants to help, he wants to keep everyone safe and the only way he really knows how to do that is to fight.

i'd also say that while jesse and caleb are both highly empathetic and sensitive to the feelings of others, caleb is more stoic about it. i'm not totally sure if that's just how he is naturally or if he's so wracked and troubled by traumatic experiences and was trained to swallow those emotions in the military or otherwise learned to shut down but like. where jesse is always emoting something and never just sitting completely still and blank, caleb seems more comfortable with staying quiet and not always necessarily showing what's on his mind at a given moment.

and there are or course many more things i can say about specific differences but i feel like i've made this post long enough and gone on a scattered tangent so like. i might explore it way more in depth at a later date. ❤️

[ess-presso]

hi ess <3

lily best milf ever SO TRUE!!!! & i did see theinvisiblemuseum's art its SO good i love their art sm.

tay time! closure, out of the woods, & clean <3

and omg pink lemonade! i loved that fic it was so good. (im trying to get my fic rec for u but AO3 IS DOWN RN. UNBELIEVABLE!! ill have one for next time i promise)

chatting time <3

having a pic of a pigeon as a souvenir from a trip is pretty funny tbh. imagine travelling across the world and the only thing u brought back was a single photo of a kinda-ugly bird.

podg ben & dune timmy❤️ im so excited for the next dune film purely for more scenes editors can use for reg. like yes i like the dune series but im a simple woman. i have priorities.

medium well on an exam is better than medium bad !! i think its a cause to celebrate. also i hate it when everyones talking about the answers they got and u got something completely different. i start panicking so bad.

we truly did win the bff lottery. get urself a friend who brings u food in the rain and dances in the kitchen to jazz with u or threatens to send u to a mental hospital. theyre rare.

tbh kentucky seems like the kind of place to have colonel sanders just everywhere. thats their pride and joy he must be displayed. i bet they have tons of kfcs too.

L & E AND L & B FTW!!! so real. and u have a marriage pact? thats so cool. liv has a long term bf so we dont but if i asked her to she might leave him so. i did have a marriage pact with another good friend but she moved away </3

and omg i hate condescending people sm. they piss me off so much like STOP UR NOT BETTER THAN ME!! especially if shes asking if u know what a computer processor is like girl who cares there are bigger things to worry about i promise.

LIKEAFUNERALL'S XENO>>>>> pandora was winning fr.

gary oldman and timmy in the same video = literal jumpscare. and yes ive seen that pic of ben & andrew and i literally cried. i thought it was edited at first but it wasnt and i cried . #wolfstar

a hozier concert would fix me and i truly believe that. also my entire tiktok fyp is just edits with work song now?? like how does it know we were talking abt that song on here. i fear tiktok is spying on me .

and omfg. i have seen the jesus/judas edits. at first they were really funny like why are people making jesus fancams.....but then they got like actually kinda sad and i felt bad for jesus. like sorry u had shitty friends man . i promise ur really popular nowadays </3

i swear harry is being americanized. he spends so much time there hes forgotten his roots and that the rest of the world exists. like why does he need to do several shows in la or nyc when he can travel elsewhere !!

i dont trust people who dont scream cruel summer ESPECIALLY "he looks up grinning like a devil" like its a scream-or-nothing situation.

piss & gladiators <3 sorry rome but its true. maybe i can fit something else in there. rome, the eternal city of piss , pickpockets, and gladiators.

u should totally give them detentions. abuse ur power. especially if theyre making u late to exams?? so rude of them tbh.

i hate being full named sm. luckily im the one who full names liv and not the other way around so i can live in peace <3

im always seeing art with lil baby harry calling remus his uncle moony and it KILLS me every time. :((

also omg "dumpydumpster"..... fuck that old man fr.

book lovers>anyone else!!!! i cant imagine being with someone who doesnt know who remus lupin is its just not happening.

yes chess!!! every time i play i channel all my beth harmon from queens gambit energy. even if i lose it doesnt matter im still slaying.

u know putting down an answer for every question on ur exam is all that matters !! its better than nothing and i live by that.

annotating books for each other>>> i had a friend and her and her gf annotated sappho's poetry for each other. it was so fucking sweet i wanted to cry.

and hozier writing a song abt u?? literally my cause of death. get urself someone who will write a beautiful song abt u <3

i wanna go to portugal so bad. i looked up the sanctuary of our lady fatima and it looks so peaceful <3 i love old churches tbh they always have such a nice calming vibe. and omg algarve?? that looks SO NICE!!! i need to be at a beach there rn. and all the food sounds so good. im so hungry now.

oh what id give to have james' no-hangover power......that should be me.

the ship name moonwater kills me cause like why are we using reg's cause of death😭 give him a break !!!!!

omg secondary house slytherin!! welcome <3 & the only reason i have so many patronuses is cause i was unsatisfied with the first few so i retook the test a bunch LOL. i figured raven was good enough so i left it at that.

dairy queen <3

"ex gifted kid now try hard" SO TRUE!!!! why cant things just be easy now .

omg timmy tim at the oscars! if i see two timmys this year ill know whats up.

american chocolate is SO GROSS like i know canada has a lot of american chocolate too but at least we have SOME european chocolate thats actually good.

sadly the snow is pretty much gone :( it rained and now its just mush. bad day for snowmen enjoyers.

wait thats so funny to have a taller georgie i love it. and a shorter clown thats hilarious id laugh so hard

killing barty is so funny to me. like yes i like him but yes he absolutely deserves it.

ill make liv get that tattoo even if its the last thing i do idc.

hoarding nail polish and lipstick> so real of u. my nail polish collection is way too excessive and some colours are just Not it. like girl why do u need 3 different browns theyre so ugly.

that quote kills me every time i read it ( i had to read that play for a class and it was like a slap in the face fr.)

mskingbean knows whats up. and omg yes little women references<3333 they take me out every time i read them.

seeing seth rogen & john mulaney was really weird but u know whats weirder? seeingf the entire riverdale main cast walk by only for a literal train of teenage girls run after them. im not kidding it was so funny.

humpty dumpty party mix is a such a funny name ur so right actually. it even has a little humpty dumpty egg guy on the bag i love it <3

omg lover being ur first dance song <3 its the perfect song for that fr. but yes rep is perfect for when ur needing to feel like a criminal !!

fr seeing the parthenon changed my life. i need to go back or ill perish.

i think harry would be proud if he knew i came out to his song tbh. but lu figuring u out? SO REAL. liv already had her suspicions and after the crying told me i radiate "potent bisexual energy" so.

r(edge) 4ever idc. it just sounds sm better.

AHAHA va fa napoli kinda is a swear, it doesnt actually have a bad meaning but it basically sounds like "vaffanculo" which means basically "fuck you" or "go to hell". & omg wanting to learn swedish for young royals MOOD!! i took french throughout all of primary school and im still shit so. bad canadian over here

ur qs

being a gold digger is so real of u. i support this endeavor.

lily evans is such marriage material its not even funny!!!!!

SIX LANGUAGES!!!!! THATS SO COOL!!!!! we got the rosetta stone over here people. i had a friend who was gonna teach me some hindi but she moved away

topaz obsidian & amethyst <33 all so cool.

u should totally watch it, its so good. the last episode where that quote was from was genuinely the most heartbreaking and beautiful episodes of television ive ever watched like ever. it was so good.

forests <333 love myself a nice lil sun dappled forest with woodland creatures wandering about. tbh where i live u can visit all 3 at the same time so i could never pick just one.

omg a hairdresser i love that. im actually my own hairdresser (ie i dont wanna pay for a professional so i just cut and dye it myself) i wanted to be a makeup artist but that dream didnt last long.

wait cancer thats actually cool. i dont think many people know much about how it works & biology is so fascinating sometimes. and yesss ofc platonic soulmates <333 we dont have time for superficial friends!!!

timmy and louis <3 (get louis away from grandma STAT!!!!) ofc flo and zendaya. excellent choices.

*gasps in spotify user* okay but to be fair apple music & spotify are like nearly identical at this point. i only use spotify cause i dont wanna move all my music to apple music itd take way too long.

i love canis major sm. and draco too its such a cool looking constellation.

AWW i love that sm. cant believe he danced better than u thats hilarious. he came to slay and to slay ONLY!!! and the toaster gift? thats so funny and sweet. i hope hes ready to slay again at the next wedding🕺

omg wingstop i want so bad too. they make it sound so good and i need to try it before it die. and omg birria tacos are SO good. highly recommend.

answering qs

ive got a few topics actually: the life of agrippina the younger (emperor nero's mother) and her rise and fall to power; the sociopolitical role of a woman in sparta versus athens; lord of the rings as a whole; the tragedy of star wars and the themes of hope and rebellion. oh and space! i love space and astronomy sm.

worst advice ive ever given: i accidentally helped someone get rejected💀 it was the guy who liked me on and off during high school, he liked this other girl for a bit and asked me what he should do, so i told him to be honest with her and tell her how he feels or else nothing will ever happen between them, so he did and she turned him down for being too forward. oops! at least hes not into women anymore.

worst advice ive taken: tbh ive got no idea. i can be a very paranoid person so when people give me advice i take extra care to think it through so ig ive managed to avoid shitty advice.

which element id be: bismuth bc its symbol is Bi <3 and its rainbow and cool. gay element fr.

undercover spy name: this is so lame but if we're going along the james bond theme id go with 008 cause my fav number is 8.

savoury or sweet: savoury forever. i love sweet stuff but its easy to get sick of it if u have too much.

fav friend: phoebe!! also monica but only bc im a clean freak like her & i also love to cook.

3 wishes: gimme a couple million dollars, the power to stop racism/homophobia, and an endless supply of pasta and im a happy girl.

how long id last in a zombie apocalypse: id like to imagine id be absolutely killing it out there but id probably freak out and die like right away. id at least try and be the best doomsday prepper i could possibly be but i cant even drive so i dont think im lasting long

fav stone: opal! biased bc its october's birthstone but its so pretty. i also love emerald cause thats my fav colour. also malachite. very pretty colour.

fav constellation: scorpio (again, biased. but its cool looking), canis major, leo, & lupus. i cant choose just one.

weirdest dream: i once dreamt that i had lunch with anne hathaway?? it was just a normal lunch. i think i had like mac and cheese or something. i woke up very confused.

worst dream: i once dreamt that i got pregnant and my mom kicked me out & when i woke up all i wanted to know was who the father was tbh.

best dream: i once dreamt that i was living my normal life but my soulmate was there and it was great. except they didnt have a face cause idk who my soulmate is but at least i got to have a dream about it.

timmy or ben: timmy. i love ben but timmy will always be it for me. lil timmy tim girl since day one💪

movie food: popcorn for sure but also reese's! sometimes gummy worms if they have them.

last text i sent: i told one of my friends to watch lockwood & co. on netflix. v fun lil ghost hunting show based on a book series, highly recommend!

last text i got: one of my old roommates said "im always thinking about morbius" like okay girl!

phone calls or text messages: text messages!! phone calls make me so anxious. text messages at least give u time to think of a response if ur anxious. phone calls are merciless and will expose ur antisocialness.

greek tragedy hero: i got achilles. not sure how i feel abt that but okay! (omg u got orpheus thats the best possible answer imo!!)

fav meme: idk if i have one specific fav meme but dumb tiktok humour gets me a lot. back in the day old vine humour was hilarious to me (def mostly cringey now but oh so nostalgic)

qs for u!

whats something on ur bucketlist?

do u have any hobbies?

fav app on ur phone?

least fav icks?

what would u do if u won the lottery?

do u believe in ghosts/the supernatural?

where can someone find u at a party?

go-to karaoke song?

whats the craziest thing youve ever done in the name of love?

if u had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would u pick?

early bird or night owl?

if u were stranded on an island, what 3 objects would u bring with u?

unpopular marauders opinion?

what would u do if u were the last person on earth?

fav number?

fuck marry kill: james, reg, lily.

whats one language u wish u were fluent in?

thats all for now <3

(also i realized these are always SO long & im prob clogging up ur page with my rambling so if u ever want me to stop just lemme know!!!)

-bee

hi hey hello bee :)))))

THEIR ART IS LEGITIMATELY TOP NOTCH IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD.

tay tay -

closure - JEGULUS - listen , I think it's literally James after they break up. like to me it's him 'seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain' I can so so so imagine that being him to Regulus after a long day and all he can feel is PAIN.

out of the woods - JEGULUS - claiming this song especially for my jegulus , but to me it screams of a pair of people (James and regulus) absolutely in love and one of them (regulus) trying so so hard not to be , but 'the monsters turned out to be just trees' and 'when the sun came up you were looking at me' - so so so them.

clean - LILY - ok at first I WAS thinking jegulus , but then I listened and I was like 'Lily Evans' like can you imagine???? her after finally telling Snape to fuck the fuck off , and feeling so much pain , but then one morning waking up and finally being 'clean' (side note - I forgot that u existed is also for them)

SKSKSK I haven't finished it yet - reading mental by sara_holmes - a legilmency drarry fic in which a miscast spell makes them hear each other's thoughts. ( also no. 'tis not okay. execute you.)

chatting :))))) -

pigeons are motherfuckin ugly and I would NEVER waste my camera storage on them. I'd literally rather take a picture of a rubbish bin. hate those pesky arse bastards.

YES YES YES oh my god I'm so excited for dune 2. it has Timmy , zendaya , Flo - literally a bisexual's DREAM cast (and also Austin butler??? I think???) can't wait to go there with the old lu and fucking watch every second ( he fell asleep in the last one.)

I celebrated by getting brownies !!!! nah , honestly when they do that , I'm all like 'keep ur gob shut u mf lepers' they have no common decency like DUDE can you let me fail in peace ???

kitchen jazz , walking through the ran and threats to go to the mental hospital <3333 how lucky we are :))))

they should have a colonel sanders statue like the one of Jesus in Brazil. like , I've said this before , but no one would KNOW Kentucky if not for kfc. and horses , I think. kfc and horses.

lelblelblelb !!! that's so rude of her she should break up with him immediately. pronto. see lu hasn't had a girlfriend in the entire time I've known him. so I'm thinking he'll still be a loner at 40. I might not be. (jk we both won't be. he'll find some girl and I'll find someone too!!! (said depressed because I haven't yet found someone) )

nah she's a bitch for real. but she's pretty. but she's a bitch. girl fuck your RAM and your motherboards. and there are so many bigger things to worry about. like global warming or whatever.

IK IK IK I LOVE HER XENO SO SO MUCH !!!! pandora was winning fr fr. (as was he. both are equally lucky to have each other)

I KNOW THAT MOMENT REALLY MADE IT FOR THE WOLFSTAR SHIPPERS !!!!!! like damn we made it happen. I just fuckin know it (so did we with the Timmy x Gary thing. like they for sure knew.)

hozier literally HEALS my soul. like he (and lu) are the only men ever <33 I think I'd be in fuckin tears if I ever went to a concert. (also same??? I got like three videos of Canadian glow coins ???)

Jesus/judas - nah I saw one of the Great War nd I fr was feeling for JESUS. like bro knew it was judas and he didn't say anything and ,,,, tragic (listen it may be blasphemous but I can so see like a Jesus/judas style marauders au. like it's so blasphemous. but it would be so good.)

BOY FORGOT HIS ROOTS. HE FORGOT THAT IT WAS US BRITS THAT GAVE HIM HIS CLAIM TO FAME. WITHOUT US HE'D NEVER 'GO AMERICA' THAT LITTLE BASTARD.

IT'S YOUUUU SHAPE OF YOUR BODY IS BLUEEE FEELING I GOT IS OOOOOH WOAH WOAH IT'S A CRUEEEL SUMMER (gotta go throw rocks at someone's window fr fr and have him look up 'grinning like a devil' like DAMN.)

piss , pickpockets & gladiators <333 London is the city of pigeons , rain and red buses. what's yours up there in canada??

I TOOK AWAY HOUSEPOINTS. IF THEY DO IT TOMORROW IT'S A LUNCH TIME DETENTION FOR THEM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THOSE LIL BITCHES. full respect to the ones that keep out my way , love them.

it's so cool u can full name liv , because it's the other way round for me. like in a fully LOUD voice he full names me and I'm like 'fuck okay this shit serious'

and about lil harry and uncle moony I found this canary u might like (ac: letraspal)

I hate dumpydumpster so much. how dare u hurt my boy harry like that. (u bet I'm going to take it out on him in doa)

yes how am I supposed to be with u if u don't read. how are we supposed to keep each other silent company u don't fuckin read. and and remus lupin is god how can someone not know him.

CHESSSSS. I LOVE THE VIBES AND I'M GOING TO LEARN I SWEAR. and queen's gambit energy slays whether u win or lose. just saying.

except when the question is some astronomical shit and all u can think of is - damn. gonna pull a hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and go for '42'.

ANNOTATING SAPPHO'S POETRY FOR EACH OTHER??? THAT'S SO SWEET AND ONE OF THE MOST ROMANTIC THINGS TO EXISTS EVER ???? I WISH THEM NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND I HOPE THEY GET MARRIED FR FR.

ahhhh Fatima is my safe space.( and yes old churches on top. but there's an abandoned church like three streets away and it's like a horror movie style church. literally abandoned. posters from the war or some shit it's scary fr fr) and ALGARVEEEE algarve is home home. (the food is top-notch so I get u so hard) !!!

no same because hangovers are the reason Lucifer fell from heaven like wtf ???? (although lu does have a hangover cure , and if I'm the drunk one and he makes it I'm always at least 50% better. he a real one for that.)

THIS. EXACTLY. like moonseeker? at least do that?? give my boy a break okay like damn.

yes exactly like u better not stick me with shit like mole or rat or something u best believe I'm retaking that test. (thank u I feel welcomed indeed. but careful because I'm still a brave at heart.)

I want to go Dairy Queen.and wingstop. ESPECIALLY. wingstop.

got them chills from tmt like that song HITS HITS.

Timmy Tim and Tim Timmy <333

european chocolate is the only chocolate that should exist. ban American chocolates. (also cannot believed they banned kinder eggs. like wtf dude???)

that's annoying as fuck I hate when that happens. sue the sky.

EXACTLYYYY OH MY GOD. a taller Georgie and a shorter it and it was fucking hilarious. everyone complimented us and we were so proud!!!

yes like I like him in fics in canon he go fuck himself into the deep pits of the nether worlds.

YES, U DO THAT , I DO LU AND WE WILL CONVERGE AT THIS POINT WHEN WE SUCCEED.

I would just burst into tears. straight up.

mskingbean oh how I love her. lw references have my heart (literally going to write one in chapter 13. so excited.)

who the fuck would run after them. if it was me I'd be running away.

I WANT TO GO THERE. I WILL ONE DAY. ONE DAY JUST U WAIT.

nah that sounds like such a fun cute lil snack I love that shit.

harry would love that for u. liz and lu know what's up , they got their bisexual best friends , and now they're allied as fuck.

glad it's a semi-swear. that's so fun omg. also I also took French in primary and secondary and I still cannot speak more than 'je ma pellet' (not correct but u get it). Lu's a fluent frenchie though , so I always got him to do my French hw , and I'd do his English. fair exchanges , that way .

GOLD DIGGER STYLES !!!!!!

LILY EVANS THE WOMAN THAT SHE IS <3333333

THANK U I LOVE BEING MULTILINGUAL !!!! also why everyone of urs moving away. that's kinda sad. (I teach u Hindi. then u can watch Bollywood movies which HIT.)

OKAY OKAY I HEAR U I SEE U I'LL WATCH.

yes like picnics in the forests with little bunnies running around in the sun aahhhhh. (also not being able to pick is so fuckin real of u. like I get that so hard.)

I too am my own hairdresser ( I lied because I tried then just called lu to do it for me so TECHNICALLY he's my hairdresser but I digress) I'm gonna be honest here. glad u moved away from the make up artist dream because no way would I be paying 500£ for facial makeup like girl damn does that shit come with a free diamond necklace or something ???

I know I know I moan about it tonnes but bio and them are my THINGS. and oncology + cancer has always been a bit of an interesting thing to me. very cool to learn about . (and yes!! we take only diamonds of friends !!!)

GET LOUIS AWAY FROM GRANDMA. and straight to me. I could treat him right. ( all jokes I have one louis already (that's lu right there.) however I might abandon my louis for that louis !!!

Apple Music is just BETTER. sorry , bee , I shall never use Spotify. Apple Music is like the HD version of Spotify.

Canis Major (especially the alpha star wink wink) & Draco stay winning I love them so so much.

he SLAYED. he slays always he's so good at dancing makes me jealous fr. and yes a toaster , and I told him not to bother but he did. which , admittedly , very sweet of him.

one day many years in the future I shall brave America just for the wingstop. (now I want to eat those birria tacos so bad like god come in my mouth rn bbs.)

reviewing ur q's <333 -

THIS ALL SOUNDS SO INTERESTING ??? I AM SIMPLY IN AWE ???? also yess yess yess space and astronomy forever like looking through a telescope being there being real and just so .... ethereal. love that for us ex-astronomy bitches.

nah bro got done so bad he switched to the other side. now I wanna know if he's still getting done bad by the men. but u did what u had to , and it's really just his fault.

avoiding shitty advice like YESS YESSS DAMNNNNN I wish I could do the same.

bismuth for bi is so real. bisexuals for the winnnnn. I'd be polonium because I want to be a poison. dangerous as fuck.

008 sounds so cool , but 007 has a ring to it. like it just does. idk what I'd be. 007 is my go to. so double oh seven it is.

no literally I can never get tired of savoury stuff , but I can of sweet things. like no one ever gets it , but I'm absolutely right. (brownies are the only exception to this rule)

Phoebe and Monica !!!! my baes I love them so much !!! my favourite friend is joey. I aspire to be a loveable slut too <33

a couple MILLION???? I'd be shooting for the billions ??? bad one bee. endless pasta yesssss as u should !!! (and yes so noble of u to stop the world problems. such a good person !!!! )

nah same I'd be killing myself before any clown kills me. or I'd be like Eddie , survive till the second movie then die on the cusp of happiness.

OPALS ARE SO PRETTY THEY'RE LIKE MADE OF PARADISE I SWEAR. and I fucking love emeralds and malachite (idk what the last one is but I'm trying)

YESSS SCORPIO IS SO PRETTY TOO!!! Canis Major also a win yessss. and Leo. ahhhh reggie I love u . but not as much as sirius. but I love u. AND LUPUS OMG (makes note of sirius telling remus about his very own star)

idk what you're talking about having lunch with Anne Hathaway is perfectly normal. and Mac and cheese with the queen of Genova ??? stay winning girl , love that for u and ur funny little brain.

nah because same. I had a whole ass baby with someone , beautiful and blonde and it was a cute lil baby boy and I was such a happy mother then I woke up and I was sad ???? like bro u were never a mother LET IT GO !!! pregnancy dreams are weird as fuck. especially when u dk who the father was.

ahhh yess having your soulmate by your side yessss I love. I've had so many dreams but I never know who the person is. like reveal yourself heathen so I can find u and kiss you on the mouth.

yes ben barnes hits but not as hard as Timmy Tim Tim.

this movie food sounds lovely. once I took a whole steak too the movies. + Yorkshire puddings. (but its okay because cinemas here don't have ushers. ) and people around us were eating shit like fucking lobster. like idk what we were on but that movie everyone was eating high cuisine. (but I love a good box of smarties , nachos + gummy worms myself. ALSO THE RAZZLE DAZZLE CHOCOLATE BUTTONS. THE WHITE ONES.)

ooooh interesting. I've actually seen some ads for that shit , adding to my list rn. (my own last text was 'can I be the banker today' and u can very well guess who it was to)

yes girl ! go ! to therapy !! (the last text I got was 'YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT BEING THE BANKER. FUCK NO. I'D RATHER KILL MYSELF. )

no yes I so get this because same. there's literally only one person I'd ever phone call/ FaceTime (lu) and I'm on ft with him now (he's not being neglected it's like a mutual study session where I study and he studies and also makes sure I'm studying.

achilles ! wow idk how to feel about that myself. u better not lose your lover or else you will literally raze the earth. (and I better not lose mine or I'll lose them again)

no same there are so many good memes idk how to choose it's way too hard. this one is my favourite-

my q's !!! -

getting married and having a family. I know I know some people will say 'not very feminist' (fuck them feminism is about choice) and dw CAREER is still on top. but I know I'm going to do that shit. I want that true love type of thing. the kind where you look at someone and go 'yes. you. you're the one.' that kind. damn this shit got me sentimental as fuck. and I really just want that happily ever after with my person and I want to have a family too. AND A CAREER. but I'd do that on my own too. u get me ??

eating brownies. and baking brownies. and jazz dancing. but brownies and jazz. and also , obviously reading and writing !!!

probably Tumblr. everyone is so chill here I love it.

are u asking about my idk ?? like the one thing that a potential date or someone would do to turn me off immediately ??? I'll answer it like u are hold on. when he's a mummy's boy. (and I've had this experience specifically with a boy). like oh my mum doesn't like it when u do that. my mum doesn't want me to do that. my mum would do that for me why don't u. idk motherfucker maybe because I'm not your mum????? the fuck ??? go date her then ????

world trip with my best friend and buy a huge giant mansion and fucking have the time of my life. and donate to charity and stuff , obviously.

near the window next to the snack table eating a cracker and holding a can of coke and chatting to lu. (if sober) // if not sober then on top of lu piggy back style trying to unscrew the light bulb and saying it's too hot but getting cheered on also by the unsober crowd. true story. happens weirdly often ?? but I always ask for piggy-backs when drunk it's like ... a thing.

*coughs* *brushes lint off of jacket* *coughs again* I CAN'T LOVE YOUUUUU IN THE DARRRRRKKKKK I FEEEEEL LIKE WE'RE OCEANSSSSSS APARTTTTT.

hmmm. going to go for platonic soulmatism (sorry to anyone I've dated. I just haven't crazy things for u. u were nice though. some of u that is.) I put itching powder in the uniform of a guy on the rival hockey team (he'd fouled lu and he was all taunty and shit and I had it in my pockets only because we'd passed by a partica shop and I had to go inside to buy shit for a party and I was like 'damn itching powder this is fun'). rest be assured Lu's team did indeed win. (the guy had rashes on his face next time I saw him , which , not my fault because that's not where I put the itching powder ??)

speaking. I can write notes , I can hear music , I can see my peoples. I don't mind never talking again.

night owl. I love getting my shit done late and staying up till like late then going to bed and refusing to wake up ever. this is also another reason I get full-named by lu sometimes. he literally has had to wake me up by throwing shit at my window before.

Swiss army knife , first aid kit , and lu. if people are not allowed , then I say phone. call for emergency and shit. or if people aren't counted , then I say monopoly. maybe the imminent cause of death will make him let me be the banker.

listen this is very unpopular but -it's not misogynistic if people say 'lily potter' instead of 'Lily Evans' . like that was her name. people are fully allowed to call her that??? it's not unfeminist to take your husband's last name , and someone should tell them that. (not talking about when she isn't married to James or when she's younger. ) but u get what I mean. like let people live damn she is a potter. at least in canon.

kill myself. very simple. but I'd need lu at the very least. can't live on the earth without the best friend (very sirius x James . except sirius did live without James....) I'd straight up kill myself if he died. very dramatic , I know. but we go down together !

3. u might have seen the reblog on my blog of this number going everywhere. but 3 is very dear to me. I think I really hate 2 though. like that bitch can go die in a ditch somewhere. '23' is a close second (hello I was born on the 23rd)

fuck lily marry James kill reg. sorry reg but I'm pulling the 'they're good people' thing. but I still love you. but I love them more.

hmm. I do wish I was fluent in French. I think I'd love to understand half the shit lu keeps saying to me. and maybe I'd've got a better grade in my French exams in secondary school !

q's for uuuu -

are you a mirrorball or this is me trying ?

drarry or dramione (feel ashamed to ask but I feel like I should )?

one ship has to go - jily or regulus ?

wolf star or jegulus ?

craziest thing you've ever done in the name of love ?

craziest thing someone's done in the name of love for you?

funniest story you have ?

craziest rumour you've ever heard ?

bitchiest thing someone has ever said ?

harry or Hermione ?

dramione or romaine (again , obvious answer , but I still want to ask )?

(AND NEVER STOP RAMBLING !!!! I LIVE FOR THE RAMBLES!!! THEY ARE ALL VERY VERY DEAR TO ME I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. come back soon bee I will miss u too much <33)