#but figured I'd get a size smaller and just deal

[uhoh-but-yeah-alright]

[chocolatepot]

Did just a little bookbinding project this weekend. A few days ago, I came across this prayerbook from 1895 by Lilian Montagu, an important figure in turn of the century Reform Judaism. It's a fascinating primary source and piece of ephemera - written for the needs of busy, young working-class Jewish women, with prayers for things they would expect to deal with such as going into service, having to work on the Sabbath, and getting engaged. The final prayer is for facing antisemitic persecution.

I really love trying to match historic typesets. I retyped this largely in Century Schoolbook, with the numbers in the publishing date and table of contents in Bembo Std in order to get them oldstyle, not on the baseline. (The back copy is also in Bembo Std. I don't know how I obliterated the Renegade Bindery logo.) The blackletter font in 2001 Rotunda Formata, which was the closest match to the original I could find, although it's still unsatisfyingly different in a few ways. And one little ornament on the cover from Sughayer Separates, a very very useful group of fonts for historical typesets.

Unfortunately I'm just noticing now that I messed up the cover! Forgot about the border and the "Price Twopence." But in general, I think this looks quite a lot like the original - a credible piece of late Victorian ephemera.

Because the original is in a nonstandard page size - very tall and thin - I decided to make this version out of a nonstandard page size. I used some paper I'd had cut down to "executive" size a while back ... although I'd forgotten that my printer gets stupid with smaller page sizes, and messes up the margins. Annoying.

[foodfightnovelization]

My Foodfight! Collection: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Foodfight!

So here it is, here's my Foodfight! collection. Since I've been writing this blog for over a year now, I thought it was worth finally showing off all the merchandise I've collected during that time, as well as talking about the relationship I've developed with the movie over the course of my many posts. But first, the collection- from left to right, we have the Cinnamon Sleuth cereal box (yes it's fanmade but I still think it looks cool enough to be included), the Junior Novelization that started it all, a Daredevil Dan plush, a Dex Dogtective plush, a copy of the movie on DVD, the Deluxe Sound Storybook, a Polar Penguin Plush, and 18 inches of Cheazel T. Weasel.

The plush toys are especially interesting- I don't think I've really discussed this before, but they all have a tag on the back stating they're not to be sold at retail... I guess these were only intended for arcades and carnivals as prizes, which is where they ultimately ended up, but I've heard at least one person who worked on the movie claim these were being sold in stores as well. So... chalk that up to another unsolved mystery, even if it's not a particularly interesting one. If I had to guess, the Playmates action figures and more detailed plush toys I talked about a while ago were meant to sold in stores, but the deal fell through and somehow these cheaper Nanco plush toys ended up there instead, on top of arcades and carnivals as originally intended. Maybe Nanco just produced so much stock, anticipating the movie to be a big hit, then when it got delayed time and time again they had to sell them off however they could. I know these Nanco plush toys come in a BUNCH of different sizes- for instance, I have an 18 inch Cheazel, but there are smaller variants that show up on eBay every now and then. Speaking of Cheazel by the way...

About 10 years ago, a small child in Nebraska got stuck in a claw machine trying to win a Cheazel plush, with the incident even making the local news. You can read all about it in the above link- thankfully he was fine and nobody was injured, but it's just crazy to me that something Foodfight!-related was picked up by the news media and that there was a kid out there who wanted a Cheazel plush so bad he was willing to crawl into a machine for it. It's also a testament to how, after the movie came out, these plush toys were EVERYWHERE- there are so many stories of people finding them at local carnivals, and it's why a lot of them are still showing up on eBay to this day. I wonder if the Cheazel plush I have now is the same one this child tried to win many years ago...? Probably not, but it's certainly a possibility.

One more thing about the toys while I'm still on the topic- I know I've mentioned it before, but a bunch of concept art and prototype images for the Playmates plush toys and figures were found among the recently shared files from the Foodfight! tie-in game, and I just thought I'd share them here for anyone who hasn't seen them yet. While I love the idea of Dex Dogtective's Price Gun and the Daredevil Dan Crash N' Spin Plane, I've gotta say.... the plush toys we actually ended up with are WAY cuter. I know they're just prototypes, but look at how bulbous Cheazel's eyeballs are, it's just offputting. Granted, the character is equally if not more offputting in the actual movie, but when you compare it to the Nanco plush...

I mean just look at him, he's adorable!! How could you not like him, how could anybody like him? The tongue sticking out, the dopey expression on his face...he's just a rascal, a scamp, a mischief maker. I think in general the Nanco plush toys are by far the most visually appealing versions of the characters, partly because they're soft and huggable, but also because they all look really friendly and gentle in a way the designs never really did onscreen, even in the early footage.

Anyway, as for the rest of my collection, there's not a whole lot TO say about it that I haven't already said- I've already discussed the novelization and Deluxe Sound Storybook at length, I made the Cinnamon Sleuth box myself, and the only notable thing about the DVD is that one of the Chapter Select options takes you straight to the end credits. And so I instead wanted to take this time to talk about how Foodfight! has affected me over the past year.

When I first found the novelization on eBay, I just KNEW I had to write about it. Nobody else was talking about it, it was the only copy available for purchase anywhere, there was no other mention of it on the entire internet, and it seemed like no-one else even knew it existed. I was inspired by Ryan North's B To The F blog, in which he reviews the similarly obscure Back To The Future novelization, feeling this could be my very own "B To The F" moment. That kind of moment only comes along once in a lifetime, and so even though I was in the middle of an incredibly stressful move at the time, I bit the bullet and started my blog anyway. Ever since then... it's like Foodfight! exploded, all over the internet. A large part of that was of course thanks to Ziggy Cashmere's incredible work on ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight, but it still made me feel like writing about the novelization opened a Pandora's Box of Foodfight! material across the world, or like I was living through an ARG designed just for me. I made a fangame, interviewed a cast member, I even got a speaking line in the aforementioned ROTTEN, and the more I wrote the more Foodfight! news seemed to come out. Every time I thought we'd found everything there was left to find, something new would come up and I'd be pulled right back into it. And through all that...god help me, I actually started to like Foodfight!.

To be clear, I still think it's a bad movie. As a matter of fact, it's one of the worst movies ever made. BUT...it's the greatest movie STORY ever told. Everything that went on behind the scenes, all the scrapped tie-in products, videogames, crazy anecdotes about the director, it all coalesces into something much greater than itself. In the same way, it felt like writing about Foodfight! allowed me to be a part of something greater than myself too. I got involved with a community of like-minded fans, was lucky enough to able to share previously lost media with the entire world, connected to the internet in a way I hadn't in years, and did something nobody else had done before and will likely never do again. Maybe THAT'S the real Foodfight!...no, I really mean it. When you dedicate enough time and passion towards something forgotten and obscure, it takes you on this special kind of journey that's hard to describe, but you come out the other end with this genuine appreciation for it you couldn't have found anywhere else. Like if you didn't care so much then maybe you would never have got it, but you did and so you you really DO understand. Like at the end of Be Kind Rewind, when Jerry and Mike can't save the video store but it doesn't matter because through making their movies they brought the community together and shared a story in the way only they could. Maybe that's what this was for me, sharing a story in a way only I could. To date, not a single other copy of the novelization has surfaced anywhere... it really does feel like it was my destiny to write about it. Even if I stop updating this blog someday, I'll never forget about everything I went through writing about Foodfight! The Junior Novelization...but for now, here's to another year.

[alittlesongbirdchirps]

all of your aus sound so interesting but i'm especially intrigued by "Dome" and "You are Simply Entertaintment" and i'd love to hear more 👀

OMG HI.

Ooo so Dome, basically on a league mission causes Bruce to leave Gotham temporarily leaving dick in charge.

During that time Gotham is nearly destroyed, not just his city but his children/teammates would be dead if he didn't arrive in time to help stop that from happening.

So like a completely rational man who deals with trauma well, he does the most logical thing, decides to leave Gotham unprompted takes brainiac's shrinking device, and shrinks Gotham. So Gotham will never be too far away again.

And since he didn't talk about this batshit insane decision with anyone else, it left Tim trying to figure out why would bruce leave, since none of the others are taking it seriously saying it's just a Batman thing.

And well when Tim does figure it out, it's while deciding he getting nowhere in Gotham and tries to leave to find Bruce and he nearly dies when his bike collides with thick glass.

Despite his small head injury, he begins to put things together and realizes that Bruce has shrunken the city and everyone in it and now has to figure out a way to save Batman again from himself and figure out how to reverse what he's done.

For You Are Simply Entertaintment, batman has just finished chasing his evil counterpart across dimensions he makes a pit stop at a similar universe, well similar enough he doesn't have borrowers as far as he knows and his adopted son isn't one of them.

Batman watches as this bruce doesn't step in, and no one even comforts this dick, this much smaller child than his dick ever was by size so he decided to yonk him.

And of course, dick thinks he's been kidnapped and thinks he's gonna be hurt because he ruined the show by crying about his parents.

He didn't expect to find himself in an alternate dimension, treated like a person, and see a human version of himself whose much older than he was.

So gonna be dealing with trauma and Bruce's trying to get through this dicks head that he doesn't need to be entertaining to be important to not be hurt.

THANK you for asking.

[radiodread]

It's been a few days since I finished Echoes of Wisdom, and I need someplace to rant. Tumblr is always the place for rants, it seems. Spoilers for the story and ending below.

Overall, I had a great time with the game. The gameplay mechanics were fun, the bind and echo abilities were really cool and innovative, and they both opened up to so many different ways of solving puzzles. I really liked how they implemented Zelda's abilities in this game. One ability I half-disliked was the Swordfighter form. A sword that runs on batteries? Really? Call it an overreaction if you want to, but it just feels like Nintendo aren't entirely willing to give Zelda a protagonist role where she gets to actually fight. She can throw pots, rocks, and other small-ish objects at foes but god forbid she gets to fight with a sword/bow/shield/bombs/etc as herself and not as Link's echo. That was really frustrating.

Another thing that I've sadly just come to accept with Nintendo's handling of the Zelda games for the past few years (TotK and EoW in particular) is their near-complete disregard for a coherent, well-written story and characters. Link and Zelda's interaction in Echoes of Wisdom is basically none. Link disappears into a rift at the beginning of the game, you chase evil echoes of him throughout the game but only really get reunited with the real deal at the very end. Neither Zelda nor Link speak which makes the final part before the last boss laughable where Link constantly turns to Zelda, nods, and then runs ahead. That's all the more "interaction" we get between them.

Making Zelda a silent protagonist without a discernible reason in EoW was incredibly strange when she's always had a talking role before. I did, however, like that there was an actual reason as to why Link didn't talk in EoW (like in Breath of the Wild where Zelda explains, in her diary, why Link consciously chose to talk a lot less), and while I'd love for him to have actually talked now that he, for once, wasn't a playable character- it was still fine that he didn't talk. But Zelda should absolutely have been able to talk.

I've never been good at the Zelda games with dungeons containing puzzles you had to solve in order to proceed. I got stuck so many times in Echoes of Wisdom because my pea-sized brain couldn't figure out what to do (curse you, Faron Temple), but I guess that's not a fault of the game itself and instead it's just my inability to use logic. Anyway. These kinds of Zelda games do make me miss games like Breath of the Wild where the dungeons were a lot smaller and a lot less complex. Yeah, I said it. I like it where I can actually solve puzzles.

While I saw the ending coming where Tri said "ok we're done saving the world I'm leaving bye" much like many other companions have done in the past (Midna, Navi, Fi, etc), I didn't find Tri's departure even remotely emotional like when companions in other games left Link. I guess it's just because Tri didn't have much of a role outside of being a tool/ability. There were a few scenes where Tri talked besides the usual "we got rid of the rift, my friends gave me some of their power", but there really wasn't that much of it. So if there was supposed to be some sort of emotional impact when Tri left, I didn't feel it at all. Tri wasn't annoying like some of the previous companions got, but... Tri was just there. Shrug.

Anyway. I did like the game a lot. Pretty short and concise, story could've definitely used some improvements, but overall I really liked Echoes of Wisdom. I sincerely hope that, with the positive feedback that they've gotten on this game, this won't be the last time we see Zelda as the/a playable character—and maybe one day she can fight on her own, too.

[novakitty-siriuspup]

Poodle breeders?

I have some questions for the poodle people here, if anyone is willing to answer! Sirius turns 7 this year and it has me thinking about my next service dog. It will be a few years before I need my next prospect, but I figure it's better to start now than later.

So, Sirius was a fluke, I got her as a shelter puppy to be an ESA and she turned out to have a great SD temperament so I went that route with her instead. Phoenix (love her to bits) isn't cut out for service work so I am going to need a puppy when Sirius is ready to retire. I want to go through a breeder this time because while Sirius was a rescue, I know how rare it is for rescue dogs to have the appropriate temperament.

My questions are: how do I go about finding a good poodle breeder? I would prefer a dog somewhere around 40lbs but to my understanding standards are bigger than that and miniatures are smaller, is there a poodle in that size category? (If not I will go for a standard, this is a preference but not a deal breaker). This will be my first dog from a breeder so I need to know what to look for: red flags? Green flags? Absolute musts and must nots? Expected cost of a well bred poodle puppy?

I am in Ohio and this is a state well known for puppy mills, I do not want to accidentally support bad breeding practices. A lot of the breeders I have found online so far also seem to produce doodles, is this the norm to breed multiple breeds/designer breeds or is my gut feeling that something seems fishy about that correct?

Is it reasonable to want to see the facility and meet the parents before agreeing to put a payment down for a dog? Is it reasonable to ask/expect the breeder to pick my puppy? I want a dog based on temperament but I don't know if I'd be able to judge a good candidate at such a young age.

These are just questions coming up as a sift through the dozens of poodle breeders there are in my area alone, again I'm still a good few years out from actually getting a puppy so this is just my first dip into research! Any advice for choosing a breeder will be greatly appreciated!!

[signalwatch]

Godzilla Minus One (2023)

Watched:  11/29/2023

Format:  AMC IMAX

Viewing:  First

Director:  Takashi Yamazaki

Where to start?

Over the years, Godzilla has been many things.  Like Batman, he's been a children's character while also being a thing adults could appreciate.  But he's also been cast as a walking analogy in two very, very good films (Gojira and Shin Godzilla), a villain in others (Godzilla Returns and Raids Again), a dad (Son of Godzilla) a hero (most of the Shōwa era), a goof, a buddy, a ruffian...  

The American-produced Godzilla movies have done well financially, but, to me, struggled with an actual story until Kong vs. Godzilla.  But it would be misleading to say the Toho Studios produced films didn't struggle with same.  The Toho movies responded to the challenge by getting progressively crazier as the need to fill screen time with something other than expensive monster fights (models and custom 7' rubber suits are not cheap) became a clear necessity. 

To fill that run time*, both US and Toho films needed a story for humans - humans that Godzilla likely will not even be aware of during the course of the film  - that is compelling and meaningful.  But, man , have the results been mixed.  You get aliens, faeries, conspiracies, what-have-you.  And some of that is great!  Final Wars is like a party of a movie.  Watch it sometime.

Meanwhile, Toho seems to have taken the licensing of Godzilla to Legendary and the US produced releases since 2014 to take a step outside of themselves and think about what would make a kick-ass Godzilla film.  Heck, what would make a *film* rather than an entertaining outing for the kiddies (and, let's be honest, me).  Thus, a few years ago, we got Shin Godzilla, which was absolutely terrific, in my opinion.  Harkening back to 1954, it was a modern solo Godzilla outing, and more about how the humans on the ground deal with a huge analogy for recent world events (at minimum for the Fukushima disaster and Japan's official response) wandering through their backyard .

Sure, the Godzilla in it seemed like a mindless engine of destruction and looked weird as hell, but that movie just works.  I dug the leads, the story, the analogies, the whole ball of wax.  The human story was compelling and frightening, Godzilla a force of nature.

I figured we'd get a direct sequel, but that isn't what happened.  Instead, Toho took a step back, and said "eh, let's just do it fresh again".  Which - respect, man.  Do whatever you want.  

So, Wednesday, I made The Admiral go to the movies with me, and we saw an IMAX screening of Godzilla Minus One (2023).  

I'd seen good, early reviews, but these were mostly die-hard G-fans, and I didn't particularly expect to get a straight answer.  There's a difference between "a good movie" and "man, I like watching monsters on a screen", and that differentiation isn't always made in the Godzilla-sphere (and, often, the genre-media-sphere in general).

What I can say is that at the end of this year, Godzilla Minus One will be in my top 5 movies seen in 2023.  Which - no shock, Shin Godzilla got similar high marks.  But, it's also true that I'm not sure I didn't like Godzilla Minus One (2023) a slight bit better than Shin Godzilla.  

As trailers would suggest, G-1 is a period piece.  The movie takes place roughly between late 1944 and end of 1947, I think.  The "Minus One" of the name is that, hey, Tokyo is already devastated, or at zero.  And then G shows up, and, well... it just got worse.  We're now at -1.

The movie centers on a Kamikaze pilot who chooses not to fulfill his mission, whether it's fear or a sense this is a waste of his own life here at the end of the war (both, really) he heads into a small island airstrip/ repair hut where he's violently introduced to much smaller version of Godzilla than what we're used to.  This is Godzilla's original, dino-sized form.

As one of two survivors of the incident, and a survivor of the war (and one tapped to explicitly *not* survive and protect Nippon), Shikishima is dealing with PTSD and Survivor's Guilt, mixed with his uncertainty of who he is in this post-war world.  Stumbling across a young (let's be honest, beautiful) woman. Noriko, who has picked up a loose baby in the wreckage of Tokyo, the three form a sort of family unit, building a shack and then home as Shikishima finds work on a boat clearing the sea of mines laid by both Japan and the US.  

Shikishima forms a bond with his boat-mates, and life is beginning to turn around, even if he can't let go of the war and his need for closure.  That trauma is preventing him from pursuing his feelings for Noriko and rejecting the baby as a surrogate daughter.

Meanwhile, unknown to all, Godzilla was hanging out at Bikini Atoll when the US thought to test a bomb, and we get our now Jumbo Sized Godzilla - going from T-Rex size to G 1954 size.  

Anyhoo... Godzilla does show up.  

Like I say, Godzilla has been many things over the years.  Here, he's a raging, atomic-fueled engine of fury, not the hauntingly eye-dead monster of Shin Godzilla.  He's well aware of what he's doing and why you need to get the @#$% out of his way as a large creature claiming new territory and not liking all these little humans who are in his way with their stupid buildings.  It's not personal, but that doesn't mean he has a passive bone in him - this Godzilla is not to be crossed.  

The design is closer to the 1990's style than Shin or Monsterverse Godzilla, and that's a good thing.  There are definitely unique characteristics - plate placement, head size, scaliness - but most noticeable to me was the eyes.  The suit Godzillas began having more expressive eyes in the Hesei and Millenium era, but here, there's a deadliness to his stare  His eyes track the humans or any perceived annoyance or threat, and they are red/ gold eyes of a very pissed off creature.  

For what this movie is about - the melodrama/ drama of the survivors, fallout of war, and the need to now combat a legitimate threat to all of Japan (this is an oversimplification, but bear with me) - this depiction of Godzilla is perfect.  The monster is a product of the war and man's folly - mutated by the bomb, he reflects some of the 1990's take on Godzilla's WWII origins.  But as a character, he's really a weapon of mass destruction with an agenda, and that agenda does not care about humans.  If he is a "god", he's not concerned with us, and much like bugs living in your house, he's going to get rid of these humans.

The break to the third act occurs after Godzilla's Tokyo debut, reminiscent of the 1954 film and directly referencing it in visual, audial and musical queues.  With modern CGI, it's not a suit actor stepping through sets, it's a living being wandering through Ginza as the locals, truly rampaging rather than clumsily knocking stuff over.

And, his atomic breath in this film may not be the spectacular laser-light show of Shin Godzilla, but it's an extension of his mutation coming from the bomb, and - narratively - an extension of the horrors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  I won't go into detail here, but it's *scary* when you see G charging up (with a really innovative charge-up sequence) and cut loose.  

He also seems, by all counts, invulnerable.  It's not just his sheer size, but that he seems to heal from wounds with no trouble. So, do all the damage you want, he's going to come back from it and be pissed as hell you even tried.

All of this feeds into the actual plot of the film, which is really about dealing with the loss of WWII and the damage the war (which this movie freely indicates Japan started) did to the country and to the people.  Survivors of the war come home to find their homes gone, their relatives dead.  And for what?  

I've spoken with my fellow Godzilla fan, Stuart, who has a better grip on Japan than I do (he resided there for a bit), and his feeling was this was a surprising take - and perhaps a very modern/ recent one.  Centering the film on a "failed" kamikaze was not something he felt Japan would have done 30 years ago, but I think - narratively - it's an amazing choice.  The Imperial dreams of Japan now long in the past, Toho can reframe the story to be about choosing to fight when the fight is a good one, even if seemingly hopeless.  

And, man, when Godzilla is done with Ginza, it sure does feel hopeless, and any plan you put on the table is bound to fail.  

I don't know a ton about Japan's feelings about how its government selectively issues information, or how they feel about the US as an occupational force in the MacArthur or modern era, but the film sidelines both.  The Japanese government seems frozen by the attack, and the US is concerned large-scale naval maneuvers will trigger a war with Russia (not an unreasonable concern).  While a US version might be about bringing all three together to fight Godzilla, this film is about the veterans overcoming their grief and shame to fight again.

Oh, and there's a very real semi-experimental plane that I was vaguely aware of, but thought was a German design, that appears in the back 1/3rd of the film that got my aviation-buff dad to make an audible "wow!" when it showed up.  

Anyway, the movie drew a thunderous round of applause from my audience, which was - I will say - an audience of surefire Godzilla fans and their friends dragged to the movie.  Lots of Godzilla shirts and whatnot.  But it was also the 5:00 PM show on the day of the movie's release. 

SPOILERS

Look, sometimes we outsmart ourselves and think we're too clever for the emotional levers that can get pulled in a movie, and if a movie has too much of a feel-good ending, it doesn't feed our desire to feel like film fans who can't be duped by emotional manipulation.  But...  gang, that's emotional manipulation, too.  

I won't say I openly wept during the movie, but I did get choked up a few times.  In a Godzilla movie!  Because it's really about dealing with trauma, so seeing Shikishima deal with his, receive forgiveness and a path to happiness when I was 90% sure this movie was about to show a noble sacrifice... man.  It really says a lot about what the movie-makers wanted to convey.  And stuff that at the end of the day I personally want to believe.

END SPOILERS

I've watched a *lot* of Godzilla movies - probably all but one or two of the overall output of 30-odd movies over 70 years.  At the end of the day, why I liked Godzilla Minus One this much was simple: story and character.   

Call it melodrama, but the drama of this movie is really taking place inside a tiny house and on a boat, the cast has issues that understandable, is a solid mix, and I cared about everyone on screen.  The performances are heightened a bit, perhaps, but the characters are likable and feel believable.  And, much like Jaws or other movies that work despite the sci-fi, horror or other elements, you can both draw in your audience and sell something wild if the audience is pulling for these people on screen.  And that's something Gojira understood in spades.  As does this movie.

Anyway, this is now my second favorite Godzilla film.  If it's better - to me - than Shin Godzilla, it's that the movie works so well not just as analogy, but as a deep character film while also providing genuine thrills with the Godzilla sequences.  

I've tried to spoil all that as little as possible, because I'd encourage you to go see it.  It's just a solid movie all around.

* we also have to ask the realistic question of "how exciting would it really be to watch two rubber monsters fight for 90 minutes?".

The Signal Watch blog posts regularly!

[katyspersonal]

I had a quite interesting Bloodborne-related dream tonight (again)

I found Kos somewhere in the woods after wading though a lot. She was on sort of a shore, but not right there, water source was far enough for there to be grass and some bushes where she was. She looked a bit smaller than her normal size, was darker but more saturated shade of blue and had some... stars speckled pattern in her body? I still question if that was relevant to 'Stars' and cosmos, or some marine creature bioluminescence. She was crying...

I kept trying to comfort her or help her, but every time she was pushing me away in unusual way... by turning me into a different life form every time. :') And every time the "incarnation" would immobilize me and I'd 'restart' where I came from, like in a videogame. First time it was horse, second time it was some broccoli/cabbage (makes sense since Milkweed rune is likely voice of Kos), third time some marine creature that's a mix of a shrimp and a snail. Like nautilus maybe? All forms were saturated blue and speckled with shiny 'stars' too. That had a very strong 'leave me alone!' vibe to it - like you know, when person doesn't want to be seen crying or helpless.

But even more interesting thing - there was a grave digged next to her, with some boards. It was too small for her, but enough for humans. And several did fall into it as I've seen ._." That grave was practically hypnotizing people to jump into it and perish. Kind of the 'it's my hole, it was made for me!' deal? I swear one of victims of this trance was Adella.

This made me think of Micolash. Who else knows all about human sacrifices and loves Kos a lot? I could swear, the context was him ensuring a trap next to her, to convert human sacrifices in prolonging her life - she was at the brink of death, marine creature on the land is doomed. Not to mention what happened with her physical body... Kos doesn't want it and doesn't like it, she personally would rather die with dignity. It is one thing to create a Hell for hunters, but indulging in sacrifices is something Flora and Amygdalas do!

But Micolash is the type to do what will help someone he loves - even if this means doing something they won't approve of. Even it means they will hate him and curse him forever... This honestly felt so bittersweet. She did not even feel like that huge important godly mother figure - rather like a close soulmate of Micolash from another world, that now resents (if not "hates") him but he is ready to take the blow if it means she lives and gets better ;-;

Also, horse transformation perplexed me, because it seemed off, considering "cabbage" and marine animals made sense. I now start to grasp for ideas whether Ludwig's unique transformation indirectly had to do with her? I am saying crazy shit like how maybe he was helping with the massacre and ate heart of OoK or something, maybe not exactly but along these lines.

This just left me a lot to think about, and a lot of emotions. My brain just gives me free illustrated fanfics at this rate. Also I think I ship Micolash and Kos now, haha;

[walterteigan]

I made a monster

Most dnd fancontent created nowadays is for 5e, and very little in the way of 3.5 content has been created recently. I've been dming a 3.5 game for over a decade and have to make monsters A LOT so I figured I'd try to share some of the stuff I make.

I have modified this to be more easily used in more generic settings, though I suppose if asked I can post the original. This one here is an unmodified version without the breath weapon or energized fists.

I also can't draw to save my life so you're just getting text

Legering Golem

Huge construct

Hit Dice: 40d10+40 (220)

Initiative: +4

Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)

Armor Class: 46 (-2 size, +4 dex, +28 natural, +4 haste), touch 12, flat-footed 42

Base Attack/Grapple: +30/+50

Attack: slam +50 melee (5d10+20)

Full Attack: 2 slams +50 melee (5d10+20)

Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.

Special Attacks: trample

Special Qualities: construct traits, magic immunity, dr 50/+6, alacrity, arcane cloaking

Saves: Fort +23, Ref +27, Will +23

Abilities: Str 51, Dex 19, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1

Skills: -

Feats: -

Environment: Any land

Organziation: Solitary or with controller

Challenge Rating: 23

Treasure: None

Alignment: Always Neutral

Advancement: 41-60 HD (Huge); 61-80 HD (Gargantuan)

The first legering golem was created through the collaboration between two high priests with the aid of their deities and was improved over generations. Later on, a more accessible version of the recipe became public and those who could afford the prohibitive expense, created more.

This golem is made of an alloy of mithril and adamantine that happens to be dense enough to act as lead, blocking magical attempts to determine its magical nature. It resembles a 30 foot tall humanoid and weighs 20,000 pounds. It cannot speak, cannot vocalize any sound, and has no discernable scent.

Combat

A legering golem gives no quarter, taking advantage of its strength and mobility to turn enemies into paste.

Alacrity (Su): Once per round, the legering golem may take an extra partial action (either before or after its other actions in the round).

Magic Immunity (Ex): A legering golem is immune to all magical and supernatural effects, except as follows. A slow spell negates its alacrity for 1d4 rounds, while a haste spell restores 1d6 hit points per level of the caster (maximum 10d6) or restores its alacrity, if previously negated by a slow spell. Multiple slow spells simply extend the duration of the effect.

Trample (Ex): As a standard action, during its turn, each round, the legering golem can literally run over an opponent at least one size category smaller than itself. The trample deals 8d10+30 points of bludgeoning damage. Trampled opponents can either attempt attacks of opportunity at a -4 penalty or Reflex saves (dc 40) for half damage.

Arcane Cloaking (Ex): A legering golem is coated in a mithril-adamantine alloy that blocks any divination spell of 9th level or lower that would reveal its magical nature.

Creating a Legering Golem

The legering golem's body requires 45,000 pounds of iron that is divided into two parts. The first is polymorphed into mithril and the second adamantine, both using polymorph any object. A bonding agent is then used to merge them into an alloy that is shaped into the desired form.

Construction requires 350,000 gp, which includes 15,000 gp for the body. Assembly requires a dc 35 Craft (armorsmithing) or Craft (weaponsmithing) check

The creator must be 27th level, have the Craft Epic Magic Arms and Armor feat and be able to cast arcane spells. The spell drains 8,000 XP from the creator and requires the spells bigby's crushing hand, geas/quest, haste, polymorph any object, and wish.

[catsnuggler]

I've hid in my room pretty much all day, save for breakfast, giving my dad a haircut, getting lunch (only after I was *told* to; I'm not one for skipping meals, but I wanted to stay alone), and making dinner (but I ate in my room).

I just cannot mentally or emotionally deal with my sibling's state. It's not about any physical fear. They weigh 90 lbs less than I do, they're shorter, and they don't know how to use their smaller size to their advantage. If they were to hit me, it'd probably just be some weak hit that I'd either tank or block, then I'd just leave. I don't want to get in any trouble, so I won't deliver any hits in a hypothetical situation like that; but I wouldn't need to. It's not physical fear. It's really just that I can't handle the boundless energy combined with such a bonkers mental/emotional state.

I wish I could help. I fucking wish I could help. But I fucking can't. I feel horrible, consciously choosing to avoid my sibling, but I cannot fucking handle them. I am losing my fucking mind.

When glue is put in the freezer; when everything is misplaced and lost in the name of "reorganization" and "decoration", even at 3 in the morning; when they always go off about Jesus, and Mary, and "Yes, Lord", and magic, and how some random person they met is just like a Biblical figure just because they have the same name, and how my "aura" is fucking purple apparently, even going so far sometimes as to call me "Purple" in the sense of it being my name, when they're always preaching and out bursting and always in the verge of an argument or blowup, even if they haven't had one *yet*, but I know from experience they're close-

When all this is going on, so that, even when I'm alone, there is no guarantee of peace and quiet; when, then, is there time for sanity?

[journalofsorts2]

i want to write down all the procedures i want when im old enough and im choosing here, enjoy my personal transgender checklist:

-top surgery, first and foremost. even before i knew i was trans and just thought i was non binary, i wanted my boobs off. i hate having boobs so much oh my god, the day they're gone i will be so happy. (also i lowkey love how the scars look on other people, it's like a sign like "look how much happier i am now!" idk)

-testosterone, duh. this ones another easy one but i haven't known that i wanted it for as long as top surgery. i want to be a man on the inside too. i want all the little things that come with being a man, and testosterone is the way to get those things

-a hysterectomy. this one's also a no brainer. i haven't figured out if i want bottom surgery yet (and i've got A LOT of time to worry about it), but if i were to get it this would be a requirement anyways, but i want to be done with periods and every other little thing that comes with having a uterus. i don't want it, i want it out of my body. and this was already a want when i hadn't figured out i was trans, but i didn't realize it was an option.

-phalloplasty, specifically rff. ik this one changes as people progress in their transition journey and so i wouldn't want to get bottom surgery until the above are already met, but if i were to get bottom surgery, right now rff phalloplasty seems to be the most appealing option. i wouldn't want metoidioplasty because i would want a regular sized penis, just me personally it wouldn't satisfy me. i would want specifically rff instead of alt because of many reasons. first, i'd be happier with the scar placement, an arm scar would be easier for me to deal with than a thigh scar, even if its harder to hide. second, an arm wound would be easier to deal with recovery wise, like it'd be easier to deal with, and i've had to deal with below the waist injury and maintenance after surgery before and it's not pleasant. third, rff usually produces smaller lengths than alt and tbh i want a more average sized penis, i get why other people would want a longer one, but personally i wouldn't. i've put a lot of thought into bottom surgery even though i'm not entirely sure i want it lol.

idk that's all the medical stuff i've considered with transitioning, and obviously i have a lot of time until i can actually do anything cause my insurance doesn't cover gender affirming treatment until you're 18 which is stinky but whatever, gives me more time to consider these things i've been considering for years already. my birthday present to myself when i turn 18 is going to be top surgery. the second i turn 18 i'm going to start looking at surgeons and pricing things out. and if i'm lucky maybe my dad will pay for part of it so i can get it sooner, instead of having to save as much. and then once i have my boobs gone im going to look at starting testosterone. or maybe i'll do it before top surgery idk, only time will tell. but this has been a long enough post already

[learnyouabiology]

Hello! This may seem like a weird question, but I promise no real birds were harmed in the formation of this question and it has an entirely logical (tabletop role-playing game shenanigans related) reason for existing!

Anyway, would a bit of bread (like smaller than a dime sized piece) upset an owl's digestive system? I know they don't typically eat plant matter, but I did read that they sometimes still have to digest it if it's in the stomach of something they've eaten or in some other circumstances. Although I couldn't really find anything about how their digestive system would handle it, I figured if they have to deal with eating an entire animal they probably can deal with a bit of bread too but couldn't find anything definitive.

Sorry for the strange question, I hit a wall in trying to research it myself!

Eyyyyy, I LOVE TTRPGs!

Ok so this is a complicated question, and the short answer is: I don't know, just because eating bread is not a standard wild behaviour for owls, and since owls make terrible pets, we don't see it much in captivity, either.

I can say, however, that the bread wouldn't taste like much to an owl. Like many carnivores (and most birds, tbh), owls lack the taste buds required for "sweet" (Source, pg. 967). Since "sweetness" is largely what makes bread so tasty for us (humans have amylase in our saliva specifically to break down starches into simple sugars, which our taste buds pick up as "sweet"), we wouldn't expect them to particularly like bread.

(also, it seems like owls lack certain taste receptors for bitter flavour, which is apparently ALSO typical of carnivores! Neat!)

As for the digestive system, I honestly don't know! I would imagine that a small amount, like the amount described, would likely be fine, physically, but the owl probably wouldn't like it. Although, if the bird only ate bread, they'd definitely run into some nutrient deficiencies.

Plus, carnivores' digestive systems generally treat food suspiciously, just bc meat tends to have some unfavourable microbes included. So it would probably just... pass through the bird via the cloaca, maybe giving it a little nutrition on the way, maybe? Bread is pretty soft, so it probably wouldn't be expelled in a pellet (unless it was some CRUSTY bread). Also, side note: owls can swallow stones and be fine, so I feel like they have a fairly sturdy digestive system.

So, in review: Owls probably wouldn't enjoy the bread, and they wouldn't really get much nutritive benefit from it, but it probably wouldn't kill them? I wouldn't recommend it for a real owl, but a TTRPG owl could probably eat like 15 cupcakes happily and I'd personally accept that!

here's a picture of a burrowing owl bc I love them:

(x)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Wolfrider anon here.

In response to the last ask, I guess I'd to agree that there's not going to be any simple one size fit all applications of this when it comes to various disabilities. However I do want to add a counter perspective when it comes to some of the mental disabilities, in terms of adding to that diverse tapestry that you were trying to weave.

As I said, I was diagnosed in late 2020 with ADHD. And as somebody who had it all of his life, but did not realize it, and his life became more complex as he had to steadily take over more and more of his own personal upkeep let alone the upkeep of others, if I could have a miracle cure to get rid of it I'm about 95% positive I would. I discovered that the lack of control that I always felt over my own life was also the likely source of my anxiety and my depression. Medication has been immensely useful for me in this regard (and has actually dealt with most of the anxiety, and pretty much halted the depressive states I had all the time), but fun fact I live in the states and so medication is balls when it comes to wallets. The best medications are far too expensive, and I'm steadily moving through various generics that I'm discovering are not effective in their own fun ways (which again, that has a whole other angle that you would have to figure out or deal with when it comes to how different medications that are meant to treat the same thing our reacted to by someone with a werewolves nervous system... Or different werewolves, or the same werewolf when also taking multiple medications).

I agree, that most disabled people almost certainly don't want cures, so much as they want recognition and for life to be made more accessible for them. They're just other people with varying levels of ability on the spectrum of ability. So you're definitely going to need to ask the opinions of many different people and you're going to get many different answers.

But as someone who has not had it be a part of my identity for very long, and has just suffered through the symptoms of it undiagnosed, I would definitely look into a cure if given a chance. Again that now of wolf thought, was my ideal in this situation.

I'm going to one of the worst of my symptoms, which was executive dysfunction. As a medication loses its effectiveness, my tendency to just sort of sit and watch things go by, things that I need to do, like I'm being driven by some other entity that's keeping me in my current focus or course even if it's just sitting there, has become more and more maddening the more that I've recognized it. I try to break myself out of it by counting to 10, 20, 30. If I'm watching a show, I'll do the next commercial or next episode lie to get myself to stop. But if my brain is fighting me on it it feels like I'm asking myself to willingly walk into fire, the degree to which I do not want to do different things. I could be as simple as checking my texts, or as complex as washing the dishes. I hear some people try to weaponize the adrenaline rush of deadlines to effectively do it, and I do know procrastination has been a serious problem for me all my life, with me doing some of my best work in the final days or even hours leading up to a deadline, but I've not been able to get it to work when it comes to smaller tasks and items that are more everyday. If I had a cure that could get rid of that executive dysfunction I would 100% take that, even if the rest of the ADHD symptoms remained.

Yeah, this is a fair point. I probably would get rid of mine, because apparently, Anon, we are vibing with our ADHD takes. Equally though, I also haven't known about it for that long (only a few years really), and I don't really know what parts of me, if any, are a positive result of having it. If I could make it vanish tomorrow, what might I lose that I'd miss? I have no idea.

Man I'd love some of that executive function, though. And proper sleep cycles. And other things.

Thank you for this!

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess Of All Saiyans

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Masterlist

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Hey guys! Chapter nine is here. And this one is a fun one. As always, I hope you enjoy. And if you have any comments or questions regarding this fic, feel free to let me know.

Also if you've been following this story for a while, then you'd know how inconsistent I am when I post chapters of this story. Sometimes it takes me two weeks to write another chapter, and other times it takes me an entire month. So if you're interested in being notified whenever I post a new chapter, you can join my tag list here.

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Chapter 9

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Vegeta and Raditz land simultaneously, both Saiyans carefully observing their surroundings. All of the Dragon Balls have remained in place, but that provides very little relief. There isn't a trace of your presence, not a footprint, not even a stray hair. "Y/N!" Raditz shouts at the top of his lungs. This was a severe mistake on his part. For his own sake, Raditz better hope the Ginyu force hasn't heard all of his commotion.

Vegeta paces back and forth, his hands knotted through his hair. "Relax, Vegeta. She couldn't have gotten far." Despite Raditz's calm words, his tone gives him away completely. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he's just as anxious as Vegeta. 

Raditz's advice doesn't seem to calm down the prince even a little. In fact, he only seems to grow more distraught. "Raditz, you don't understand. I never disclosed the location of the Dragon Balls to her."

Raditz furrows his brows at the smaller Saiyan. "What the hell, Vegeta!" Never in his wildest dreams did Raditz ever imagine himself shouting at the prince. He didn't even notice that Gohan and Krillin had joined them. Hopefully, they've picked up bits and pieces of the conversation because neither Saiyan has the patience to deal with their idiocy at the moment. "Just--- What the fuck were you thinking?" Raditz doesn't understand. How can Vegeta go from ordering someone to stay glued to your side at all times to leaving you to fend for yourself on a foreign planet? It's only been a few weeks. How can he have gone through such a drastic change in such a short amount of time?

"If I knew the Ginyu Force was coming, do you think I would've left her alone!" Their bickering is doing nothing to help. In fact, it's probably making the situation worse.

"Alright. How about you both calm down." Krillin decides to jump in and play peacemaker. "Y/N seems more than capable of taking care of herself. We need to focus on the threat. We need to get this over with and summon the dragon before something bad happens."

Both Saiyans turn to the smaller earthling, glaring daggers at him. "Who gives a damn about immortality right now! You don't know the first thing about my sister! So don't stand there all high and mighty and act like you do." Krillin hit a nerve, but it wasn't just in Vegeta. 

The earthling wants to revive his friends, but there is something he doesn't understand about Raditz. You've been the faint speck of light in his otherwise shitty world, the only friend the Saiyan has ever had. Even though he stood with his brother, you're still a priority over the resurrection of a handful of puny earthlings. 

"Interesting to see where your priorities lie, Geta!" Your legs have been sticking out of your handcrafted shelter the entire time. It's funny to see what details people miss while they're in a state of panic. You lean forward, revealing yourself to the abnormal group. Now your entire body hangs off the mountain.

Four sets of eyes look up at you, all with varying responses present on their features. "Oh, thank god," Vegeta whispers, at an octave low enough only for him to hear. Raditz places a hand on his chest, sighing in relief as Vegeta's features contort in displeasure. "What did I tell you about pulling shit like this? Get your ass down here!"

You jump down, landing in front of the Dragon Balls. This ensures that you maintain a safe distance away from your brother just in case he decides to kill you. "Don't get your panties in a twist."

Vegeta's nostrils flare, complemented with his entire body shaking with rage. "You scared me half to death." You expected a lecture, but he's not even raising his voice. You may have freaked him out more than you originally intended.

Your lips curve upwards. "That sounds like a you problem, big brother." Something is particularly satisfying about throwing his own words in his face.

"I suppose I deserved that." His features soften. "I'm just relieved that you're alright."

Raditz walks over to you, slinging an arm around your shoulders. "Well, what did I do to deserve that scare?" 

"Collateral damage Raditz. Call it a happy accident."

"Enough of the chit-chat. Now let's---" Vegeta cuts himself off as you all lookup. You can sense the Ginyu Force, and they're heading straight for you. You grab Raditz, pulling him into the homemade cave. The others were facing the Dragon Balls. There would've been no time for them to get up here as well. Your higher altitude could be used to your advantage since you'll have the element of surprise. 

It's a bit cramped, but when you created the cave. You never expected to share the space with a Saiyan of Raditz's size. He takes up more space than you and Vegeta combined. You both watch the Ginyu Force land in front of a trembling Gohan, a frozen Krillin, and an aloof Vegeta. You really hope the Genius Force doesn't do those god-awful poses. You've already been traumatized enough for the week.

You decide to keep a close eye on Captain Ginyu, who is currently exchanging pleasantries with your brother. Well, as pleasant as it can get for two beings who are about to murder each other in cold blood. Followed by murmurings from various members of the Ginyu Force and Recoome's delayed laughter. "Just hand over the Dragon Balls, Vegeta. No need to make this any harder than it has to be." Vegeta's posture remains stiff. It's clear your brother isn't going to budge. Their little group is going to have to pry that orb from his dead body. "Come on, Vegeta, be a sport. We already have five." He gestures to the spheres behind him. That means Frieza will have five. Can you really trust those neanderthals to hold onto their Dragon Balls? No, you were raised to trust no one's capabilities but your own, not even Vegeta's. 

Jeice looks around, his green eyes scanning around the area. "Where's that gorgeous sister of yours, Vegeta?"

Vegeta glares at the red man. "Even if my sister was here. I doubt she'd be interested, Jeice. I mean, she never has been." Oh, your brother knows all about your history with the mutant Brench-seijin. He's overly flirty, and you reject him. It was a vicious never-ending cycle. If Vegeta had no self-control, he would've murdered him years ago for even looking in your direction. In his eyes, Jeice is unworthy of a woman of your status.

"Well, with Raditz out of the picture, there's no chance for Saiyan offspring. So I figured I'd shoot my shot." You cringe. You're not sure which idea is more repulsive, a relationship with Jeice or procreating with Raditz.

"Even if you were the last man in the universe. My sister wouldn't so much as glance in your direction." Vegeta and Jeice continue going back and forth as an idea pops in your head. This may be your only opportunity to get your hands on a Dragon Ball. You're only chance to put a fork in Frieza's plans for immortality. 

You silently climb out of the cave, dropping to the ground. The others can unmistakably see you, but they make no expressions alerting the Ginyu Force of your presence. You grab the closest orb before promptly flying back to the cave. Call this your insurance policy for when Krillin and Vegeta ultimately screw up. You escaped that entirely undetected. Is the term elite just thrown around loosely in the Frieza Force? Because that's what you're starting to think.

You hand the Dragon Ball to Raditz, directing your gaze back outside. "Those scouters of yours can't detect Dragon Balls, can they?" It was a rhetorical question. Vegeta knows they don't have that type of technology yet. You know how your brother thinks, and this is a faulty plan on his part. "Then you lose!" Vegeta pivots, launching the ball at an alarming speed. It would be a fatal blow to the head if it hit someone. 

Burter takes off, chasing after the orb. He flips in the air, catching the ball with ease. You swear, Vegeta can be such a dumbass sometimes. He knows Burter rivals you in speed. He may even be a bit faster than you.  

You shake your head, turning to Raditz, lowering your voice to a whisper. "Here's the plan. When I formulate a distraction, you're going to take the Dragon Ball and get the hell out of here. And Raditz, go hide the damn thing, somewhere no one will find it." He grins from ear to ear, causing you to glare at him. You know how this moron thinks by now. "And do not hide it with that Earth woman. That will just get her killed."

"What if that's my intention?"

"I don't think little brother Kakarot would be very pleased with you, but it's your call." You stand in silence for a moment, your piercing gaze lingering on the Saiyan. "Though, I can assure you. If Frieza gets his hands on that Dragon Ball. I'll kill you. In the most graphic and painful way, I can imagine." He gulps nervously, rapidly shaking his head in understanding. To Raditz, you're the only life form that can still sound menacing while whispering. 

You revert your vision back to the little gathering outside. And as you assumed, Krillin lost his Dragon Ball as well. Ginyu decides to take Vegeta for himself, which doesn't go over well with his team. They're acting like a bunch of children. It's almost comical. "Fine." The Captain sighs. "I'll take the Dragon Balls back to Lord Frieza. You all can sort this out amongst yourselves." They chant Ginyu's name a few times. They kinda remind you of a cult.

The four lower members of the Ginyu force move to stand in a circle. "So the winner gets Vegeta. And for second place---" Guldo is cut off by Recoome.

"The rest. Make the two runts a set. Together they'll be more equal to Vegeta." Oh, that can't be going over well with your brother. The fact that Recoome would declare that those two are his equals must be sending his blood pressure through the roof. 

They begin playing rock paper scissors. This must be how they decide their battles. It's like a game to them. Every single match ends in a draw. At this rate, you could be stuck up here forever. 

You doze off until you hear Recoome cheering. The endless match must have finally ceased. "Ya! I get Vegeta!" Fate can be an amusing thing sometimes. Vegeta must be ecstatic, getting to show the moron just how much stronger he is than those pathetic runts. 

"Of course, I'm stuck with the runts." Guldo wines. He's the last creature who should be referring to anyone as a runt. You could squash that little freak like a bug.

Ginyu approaches the Dragon Balls, picking them up with his telekinesis. He counts them before snapping his head toward the dumbest member of the Ginyu Force. "Recoome! There's only four here!"

Recoome scratches the back of his neck, that classic confused look on his face. "I'm sorry, Captain Ginyu. I thought I counted five."

Jeice turns to his superior. "I told you we shouldn't have trusted him with counting the Dragon Balls."

The Captain takes a deep breath, attempting to keep his composure. "It doesn't matter. I'll search for the missing Dragon Ball. It's probably with Y/N anyway." He takes off, heading in the direction of Frieza's ship. Well, that takes out your major concern. The others are child's play compared to Ginyu.

You pay minimum attention to Guldo's battle with Krillin and Gohan. You're more focused on finding an opening for a distraction. You begin to notice significant holes in their fight. Guldo will be in one area and then magically appear in another, and he's not teleporting. If he was, you would've been able to track his movements. Could the rumors about that green freak be true? Can he really pause time? They must be. That's the only feasible explanation. So under the assumption that Guldo can stop time, the earthlings don't even stand a chance. No matter what they do, that four-eyed freak will always remain one step ahead of them. 

You do, however, pick up on something. Guldo appears to hold his breath before every skip in time. That must be a limitation in his abilities to pause time. So if those two can somehow prevent him from holding his breath, they should be able to best him. You know what, scratch that. Those two probably haven't picked up on his abnormal behaviors.

Though, the earthlings do appear to have the advantage at the moment. And the rest of the Ginyu Force won't let Guldo forget it. They're heckling him so loud that you can hear them clearly from all the way up here. Guldo's kinda like the Raditz of the group, just a lot less respected. 

Guldo tosses the pair up into the air as a strange yellow light surrounds them. He's claiming it's a paralysis attack. That doesn't sound good for the earthlings. 

Krillin and Gohan struggle almost as if they were trapped in invisible bindings. As far as you can tell, they're immobile. If Guldo felt the need to resort to such dire tactics, he must think that he can't take out the pair any other way. So when the earthling and the half-breed combine their strength, they're mightier than Guldo. That's quite impressive considering how weak they were back on Earth.

"Now I'm gonna show you what happens when you embarrass me in front of the boys." You clench your fists, your nails digging into your palms, as you watch Guldo intently. As much as you hate to admit it, you're going to need those two runts. So if Guldo were to kill them, it would be very unfavorable. He uses another mind trick to pull a tree from the ground, using the bottom end as a makeshift spear. He points the weapon at the pair, taunting them. He's gonna impale them with a fucking stick. What a pathetic way to go.

You do wonder why Vegeta hasn't intervened yet. He's never played by their rules before. So what's stopping him now? Your brother may simply believe that Gohan and Krillin deserve to die. For not adhering to his warning regarding the weakest link of the Ginyu Force. It's not below Vegeta to be that petty. You can't blame him though, those two fools have no sense of self-control.

The slimy green creature's obnoxious cackling invades your ears. Honestly, Guldo's just pissing you off more than he was before.

Amidst the chaos, you jump out of the cave, flying a bit to distance yourself from suspicion. You shoot a purple beam at Guldo, efficiently decapitating him. Raditz seems to have gotten the message since he checked out with the Dragon Ball sometime during the commotion. He better hide that thing somewhere safe because his life depends on it.

"Did you really think I'd let a creature as pathetic as Guldo kill anything with a drop of Saiyan blood!" Your voice booms causing all eyes to land on you. You place a hand on your chest, fixating your gaze on the Ginyu Force. "I'm hurt that you didn't include me in your little game."

"Oh, our apologies Y/N." Jeice's thick accent invades your ears. "We should have assumed. Wherever Vegeta is, you're always somewhere nearby."

You swear you can hear faint grumbling. You just can't quite locate the source. Your eyes scan over the ground until you discover the origin of the sound. Long story short, it was Guldo's severed head. So his species can survive decapitation, good to know. "Defeated by a damn Saiyan. And the weaker one at that." You could run circles around that little freak. If you went head to head, he wouldn't even be considered a challenge. Guldo's giving himself far too much credit.

Vegeta chuckles darkly. "Well, don't worry." He strides over to the talking head. "You won't have to deal with that shame for long." Vegeta finishes the job, eliminating that embarrassment of the group of supposed elite warriors. 

The three remaining members complain about Guldo's demise, but it's not for the reason you may think. They're more upset about the impact his absence will have on their ridiculous pose. You wish you could say you were surprised, but you've known those idiots far too long to believe anything else.

The half-breed and earthling walk over to you, identical expressions of gratitude apparent on their faces. "We owe you one, Y/N." You roll your eyes at Krillin. It was a simple business decision. And it was nothing more than that. 

Gohan nods in agreement. "Ya, thanks." You cringe at his gratitude. Why are they thanking you? You killed Guldo for your own selfish reasons.

"Your lives had nothing to do with it." Well, at least Krillin's. If Guldo did kill the half-breed, it would've been an embarrassment to your entire race in hell. "I needed a distraction. I saw an opportunity."

"She's right, so pull yourselves together. Your lives are incredibly insignificant to us." Vegeta's lying. Your brother knows you need them. He's just far too prideful to admit it.

Burter turns to Jeice, morphing his hands to prepare for another excruciating match of rock paper scissors. "Alright, Jeice. Winner gets the Princess, and the loser gets stuck with the two runts."

Jeice shakes his head. "No, Y/N's all yours." He turns to you, his green eyes meeting your own. "I could never lay a hand on a lady as fine as the Princess." You suppress a gag, deciding to keep your mouth shut. If you were to respond, there's a good chance you could end up fighting both of them.

Burter furrows his brows at his comrade. "Are you sure?"

"Ya, go crazy, Burter." It's actually a reasonable match-up. You and Burter both have incredible speed. I guess you'll finally find out who's faster.

Now with Guldo out of the picture, it's Recoome's turn to fight Vegeta. He reminds you a bit of Nappa. Since he lacks any form of self-control. His punches at your brother are erratic. He even almost hits you, Krillin, and Gohan several times. If Recoome were to hit Krillin with that kind of force, there's no doubt in your mind that it would be a fatal blow.

"Don't go killin them all yourself!" Jeice is second in command to Ginyu, so his authority over Recoome makes sense. "I get the two runts, and Burter get's the Princess of the monkeys." One minute Jeice is flirting with you. The next, he's demeaning you. Talk about mixed signals.

You watch Recoome and Vegeta trade punches, and it's starting to lack any value of entertainment. Vegeta's covered in blood while Recoome's armor is chipped, and he's now missing tufts of hair.

You begin to grow impatient. This will be the first time you've been challenged in a while. "Yo, Burter! Let's just get this over with now. We'll make this battle a double feature." 

"Fine with me." The two of you distance yourselves from Recoome and Vegeta, commencing your battle as well.

Their gazes flicker back and forth between both battles. They were so enthralled in the action that neither Gohan nor Krillin noticed that Raditz had joined them. 

Gohan and Krillin stick to the sidelines. They're in no hurry to fight Jeice. Even though he's significantly smaller than Recoome and Burter, Krillin doesn't think Jeice's smaller size will give them any sort of advantage. 

"Raditz?" Jeice looks far from pleased. He's always been jealous of the Saiyan. Not for his strength, rather the envy stems from Raditz's luscious mane of hair. It took Jeice several years to grow his hair to an adequate length, while that fool was born with that full head of hair. Raditz meets his gaze, an arrogant smirk overtaking his features. As he waves at the green-eyed man mockingly. "But--- Y/N said you ran off!"

Mid-battle, you turn to Jeice. Without even looking, you still manage to keep up with Burter. "I'm a compulsive liar, Jeice! It's a nasty habit."

Jeice huffs, crossing his arms at the largest Saiyan. "Raditz is mine. I'm throwing him in with the two runts." A chuckle escapes your lips. He's underestimating what the three of them could accomplish together. Jeice is letting his own petty feelings cloud his judgment. How arrogant.

Krillin's brows furrow as his eyes linger on you. There's something that isn't quite adding up. He turns to Raditz and Gohan, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Hey, guys. I've been thinking about something. Remember back on Earth how Vegeta said that Saiyans get stronger after battle. Well, Vegeta's gotten stronger after several fights, but do you see Y/N? She's still able to effortlessly keep up. Even though she's barely lifted a finger. How is that possible?" The earthling's eyes widen as the gears begin to shift in his head. "Unless. Is she stronger---"

Raditz's hand covers Krillin's mouth, lowering his voice to a deadly whisper. "Silence, you earthling. Keep that big mouth of yours shut."

Krillin's teeth sink into his captor's hand, successfully freeing himself from the Saiyan's clutches. Several muffled phrases of obscenity escape Raditz's lips as he rapidly shakes his hand in an attempt to soothe the pain. "She is. Isn't she?" The look on Raditz's face told Krillin all he needed to know. "But you knew that already, and I bet you know why too. I wonder how Vegeta would feel about this?" His last sentence was clearly a passive-aggressive threat toward both you and Raditz. The earthling wouldn't be dumb enough to follow through with that threat, would he?

Raditz scowls at Krillin. How dare this pathetic little weasel attempt to threaten him. "Not a word to Vegeta. If you value your life. I'd stop talking now. Vegeta doesn't know, and it would be very unfavorable if he found out, for all of us." His tone shifts, his eyes flashing with vulnerability. "Something bad happened to us as children, and Vegeta still doesn't know about it." He returns to his menacing demeanor, your shared childhood trauma getting pushed to the back of his mind becoming yet again a distant memory. "So you will stop your absurd thoughts now. Or I can assure you. The second you resurrect your feeble friends, I will single-handedly slaughter them, and then you will follow." Krillin gulps, nodding in fear. He better pray Vegeta heard none of their conversations because he has a feeling Raditz will stick to his word.

Raditz thinks he knows all your secrets, but he's only aware of the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface lies pain and suffering the older Saiyan could never imagine from you. You keep these secrets to protect him, to protect Vegeta, and most importantly, to protect yourself. But if either of them were to find out the truth, your life as you know it would come crashing down. If they were to find out your greatest shame, your pride would be in shambles, and they would know the truth. You're just a weak Saiyan who's an embarrassment to her family name.

You're not exactly sure how much time has passed. You've completely blocked out the entirety of your surroundings, remaining focused on your battle with Burter. You can't joke around as you did back on Earth. There's no room for error today.

The two of you take turns beating the absolute hell out of each other. If you keep this up, there will be no end to this anytime soon. You shriek, spiking up your energy substantially. Burter's eyes bug out as his scouter explodes. Those pieces of junk are really no match to this energy-sensing technique. 

Even though you've blocked out your surroundings, you know the two of you have moved a significant distance away from the others. You could even be on the other side of the planet by now. In the back of your mind, you can't help but worry about your brother especially, now that you're so far away. Recoome may be an idiot, but he's a strong one. You have to remain focused. You can't help Vegeta if you don't help yourself first.

You begin to get the edge over Burter. Now he's attempting to block your attacks, but due to his large size, he's failing horribly. A couple more blows, and you'll finally be able to knock him down. You've taken down guys much larger than Burter, creatures who were triple his size. 

Over the years, you've learned to use your smaller size to your advantage. Making your opponent's sheer size more of a nuisance than a strength. Burter begins to struggle further. He's now barely able to keep up with you. "I'm the fastest being in the universe! How can one of you monkeys be faster than me?" You scowl at him, finding no humor in his statement as rage boils inside of you. 

Unknown to you, you and Burter aren't alone. Goku has been watching your battle in awe for quite some time now. He knows he should've left to find the others, but he just couldn't help it. He can't take his eyes off of you. This is the first time he's seen you fight, and you're much stronger than the Earthbound Saiyan believed.

Your fists clench as your entire body convulses in rage. It's not often you'll lose your temper like this. Goku swears that he saw your irises flash a shade of red. He rubs his eyes, glancing back at you. Your eyes have returned to normal. Maybe Goku is just seeing things. If you knew someone was watching, you would've kept your temper in check. 

Burter sends a blast of your energy your way. Which you dodge by teleporting behind him. You use all of your body weight to knock him down to the ground. You won't mock him like you typically do after defeating a foe. You won't take the chance of giving him an opening to strike back. In the palm of your hand, you create an orb of energy, disintegrating his head. Successfully, taking out your second member of the great Ginyu Force.

You fall to your knees, desperately gasping for air, before grabbing your side, wincing in excruciating pain. Damn, Burter must have nicked you good. You look to your side, noticing just how much blood has leaked through your armor. This is gonna be an issue, though you've fought through worse. You stand back up to check your body for any further damage. There seems to be no other physical damage to your form. Your armor is a bit ripped, though. 

"Wow! You're really strong." You gasp, moving your fist, aiming it at whoever is in front of you. They swiftly catch your fist, preventing you from attacking. Their grip is secure enough to stop you from escaping, yet at the same time pleasantly gentle.

You move your gaze upwards, finally gathering the courage to look them in the eye. Your brows furrow as Goku's dumb face enters your field of vision. "God, Kakarot! When the hell did you get here?" You shake yourself out of his grasp, taking a few steps back, putting some distance between you two.

"A while ago." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "I got distracted by your fight." So he was observing you the whole time. Why does that make you feel incredibly self-conscious?

"Of course you did." You sigh, moving several strands of hair out of your face. Goku steps closer to you, bringing his hand to meet your forehead. It's so big that it takes up the entirety of your forehead and even the top of your head. "Kakarot. What the hell are you doing?"

"Just be quiet for a second." It's official. Goku has lost what was left of his mind. "So it is true. You guys are working together. And that Frieza guy is a much bigger deal than I thought." How does he know about all of that? And why is he still touching you?

You slap his arm, convincing him to remove his hand. "And why's that?"

"Because you're afraid of him."

Your face flushes. "I'm not scared of Frieza. I'm not afraid of anything." Your cross your arm, averting his gaze.

"Yes, you are." He pouts. "I saw it." Kakarot saw it? How the hell--- Did Kakarot acquire the ability to read thoughts? Is that even possible?

You decide to divert his mind from his accusations. Knowing Kakaort, that shouldn't be hard at all. "Since when can you read minds?"

He rubs his chin, lost deep in thought. "I don't know--- I just had a feeling."

"Well, let's go. And new rule." You bring your hand up, pointing your index finger at the buffoon. "Stay out of my thoughts!"

He holds up his hands in surrender, nodding. "Are we gonna go find that Captain Ginyu guy?"

"No. We have to go make sure that Recoome and Jeice haven't killed the others first. Don't bite off more than you can chew." Goku has this aura around him. You can tell he's gotten stronger. He just needs to learn how to get his priorities in order.

Okay. All you have to do is pin down someone's energy. There are at least four sources to choose from, so this should be fairly simple. You shut your eyes. This should help you concentrate adequately. 

"Ohh, what's that?"

Your head snaps toward Goku. "What?" You swear the man has an attention span equivalent of an insect.

He bends down, observing the ground intently. "It's like a green string."

"A green--- Kakarot! Don't!" But you were too late. He's already yanked the tripwire.

The ground concaves beneath you, causing you to lose your footing as the two of you fall down into the pit. You fall on top of Goku. Unintentionally straddling the Saiyan. And if you thought this situation couldn't get any more awkward, you'd be wrong. Goku's arms are wrapped securely around your waist, holding you in place. Your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. And your face feels like it's been set aflame. As your eyes lock, your face only turns a deeper shade of crimson. "D-Don't touch me!" You're stuttering. What the hell is happening to you?

His brows furrow. "You're the one who fell on top of me!"

"It's not my fault." His classic pout spreads across his lips. "How was I supposed to know that the ground would collapse?" 

"W-Well, you're the reason we're in this mess!" You stand up, wanting to get as far away from Goku as possible. You don't like the way you feel around him. The only time your pulse should be racing like this is during combat.

"Well, it wouldn't be called a trap if you could see it!"

"I don't get why you're so mad. Can't we just fly out?"

You snicker as your lips curve upward. "Give it a shot, Kakarot." You know it won't work, but at least his failures will provide you with some quality entertainment. It would be a pretty pathetic trap if you could simply fly out. Goku flies up, slamming his head on the invisible barrier. You break out into a fit of laughter as he falls back down. Goku jumps back up, rubbing the back of his head. "Ouch. Did you know that would happen?" Your giggling dies down as Goku begins looking around the hole. "How did this place even get here? Is this Frieza's work?"

"No. It's definitely the work of the Namekians. Frieza wouldn't be able to formulate something so elaborate in the amount of time he's had. Besides that dictator never does any of his own dirty work."

"Well, let's just sit back and relax. I'm sure we'll be fine. Someone will have to find us eventually." He has such a laid-back attitude. Maybe another alien baby crash-landed on Earth. Because with every second that passes, you're finding it harder to believe that Goku has Saiyan ancestry. 

"Oh, ya, let's just relax." You mock him. "While the others are probably getting chopped up into little pieces by the remnants of the Ginyu Force as we speak!"

"Why are you always so negative?" Is he serious? Do you have to spell out why this is potentially a very dire situation? You'd think he would show more concern for his son.

Your hands meet the sides of your head. You're practically yanking your hair out at this point. To say you're frustrated would be an understatement. "God, why am I constantly getting trapped in enclosed spaces with your idiotic bloodline! First, it was your spawn, then it was your moronic brother, and now I'm stuck with you. And you're somehow the worst of them all!" Goku just stands in front of you like a statue with that goofy smile plastered on his face. "And stop smiling when I yell at you!" 

Being stuck down here with Kakarot will be the ultimate test of your willpower----

-

Will the others make it to Y/N and Goku in time? Or will Y/N kill Goku before they even get the chance? Find out in the next chapter of The Princess of All Saiyans!

[wizard-hubris]

I think Orym started out as a boring morality check character, but as ExU went on he took a step back a bit and went with the flow and I think that’s where he resides best

I would like Liam to take the character in a direction similar to where Tal took Cad where he has beliefs and value, but shares them when necessary instead of all the time because that can be really irritating as a viewer wanting to see the group make decisions instead of just one character

Interesting perspective, thank you for sharing! The thing is, the way Liam talked about Orym (in the wrap-up for ExU and otherwise), I'm pretty sure he wasn't even meant to be that kind of morality check. It just happened because the rest of the ExU characters were...well, who they were.

An important factor that shouldn't be forgotten is party size. In ExU, they were a smaller group, so everybody appears to be a bit...more? Has to contribute more ? I'm not sure how to really say what I mean in English for this part, I'm sorry. Maybe you catch my drift anyways. But now, we're back to seven/currently eight party members with a moral compass yet to be determined, but from the sheer size I'd argue that Orym's position will be at least a bit different.

Then, there's also the other players. ExU was half new players and, as a lot of other people said, I am sure Liam accomodated that with his playstyle to give them a bit of room to figure and test everything out.

Also, Liam/Orym (however you want to see it in that case) is not gonna make decisions for the group singlehandedly, don't you worry. First of all, Liam is too experienced a player at this collaborative group game to start doing that left and right. Second, Orym is basically allergic to taking the leader position (which I actually hope will be a big part of his personal arc and character growth), why the hell would he make decisions for those people he doesn't even really know yet. Third, do you really think even if Liam would for some strange reason try and get Orym's opinion as the decision making one all the time, that the other cast members wouldn't push back against that if they want to come to other decisions? They're all grown-ups and they all have experience playing and playing together, I'm sure they know how to let one of them know if they want an aspect of their playstyle toned down.

I... this is not meant to sound catty or negative and please know that I love Tal and Caduceus to pieces, but Cad shared his beliefs and values at all times, especially when it wasn't really asked for or helpful to the situation? Cad was that guy. He often thought his opinions and beliefs were the only right way. It was an integral character flaw but one that made him amazingly complicated and fascinating to watch. It was just more pertinent to personal problems than the overarching story/goals of the group, I suppose, so maybe it feels less impactful in comparison? Maybe?

Plus, Orym literally repeats himself over and over again with "I'm not the leader, what is your opinion on this, I'd prefer this but what do you want to do?" In ExU at least, he almost always did what the others wanted no matter how little he liked it with very few but notable exceptions. Or...are we, as a fandom still on about that Poska thing and Orym not wanting to take the deal? Because...personal opinion time...he was absolutely right. Or do you mean that he was worried about his group having the vestige of divergence of a betrayer god? Because that also seems like a reasonable reaction.

Please don't forget that the very first scene we (and very first impression non-ExU viewers) got of Orym in the new campaign was him being exasperated at his friend for pickpocketing a priest and worried that they'll get into trouble. He didn't chew her out beyond a slight scolding. He didn't ask her to give it back. He clearly didn't entirely approve but that's all he did. Dorian was being more of an anxious goody-two-shoes about it than Orym, in fact.

Maybe we should all just wait for the next episodes to really get a feel for the group dynamic, because at this point there is literally no way to get anything but empty speculations about it.

Sorry this got so long, I really appreciate your point of view, but it just got a lot of opinions out of me. Hopefully you find at least some parts of my answer interesting, as well.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #199

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the Jotaro Kujo of FGO, Semiramis! (Seriously, how does that cape/hair... thing work? It's wild.) The queen of poisons is a Graviturgy Wizard to make building a floating castle slightly less difficult to make and cooler to live in, plus a Witherbloom Druid for some dove friends and extra poisons. If you've seen our builds for Waver and Edison, you might know already that building things with magic is costly and time-consuming, and for once that is 100% accurate to the character. Get ready, this is gonna be a weird one.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: I'm 40% appendicitis!

Race and Background

Semiramis is technically an aasimar, but she doesn't fly around or heal people, so we can just focus on her human side. .... Oooor we can focus on those ears, because we need to nick some stuff from being an Elf. Specifically, we're going with the Vahadar Elf from Plane Shift Kaladesh, since they've got the ears, the proficiencies we'll need later, and their backstory's still about living in general society, unlike wood elves and other Kaladeshian elves. Thanks to Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, this gives her +2 Intelligence and +1 Wisdom, as well as Darkvision, Fey Ancestry against being charmed, a Trance instead of sleep so she can't be put to sleep, Keen Senses for proficiency in Perception, the Mending cantrip to piece together the castle later, and most importantly Elf Weapon Training. Normally this would give her proficiency with four weapons, but thanks to Tasha's we can swap this out with four tools instead. Carpenter's, Glassblower's, Mason's, and Smith's Tools proficiency should give us everything we need to build a castle later- we'll go into the why when we get there.

Semiramis is also a Noble- grab History, but swap out Persuasion for Deception. Yeah, not even her background can escape how weird this build is.

Ability Scores

Poisoning skills come from Intelligence (I think. WotC are really nonspecific about how to actually fucking make poison), and it's also your main casting modifier: put that first. Second should be your Charisma, nobody drinks poison on purpose, so you'd better get good at lying. After that is Wisdom. If your poisons aren't made with Intelligence it'll definitely be wisdom. That means your Dexterity isn't great- yeah, you fight in a dress, but if you're fighting and not your lackeys, something's gone wrong. We're not dumping Constitution because we're not stupid, so dump Strength instead. You've got minions to carry rocks around for you.

Class Levels

Wizard 1: Starting as a wizard nets you the weakest hit die in the game, but it also gets you proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, plus the Arcana and Medicine skills. You're half caster, and if you want to ruin someone's bodily functions you have to know what those are first. Starting as a wizard also gets you Spells that you can cast and prepare using your Intelligence. You get six at first level and two each level after. That's a lot, so we're just going to over spells that are important for the build here, though there's a full list of what we'd get in the character sheet. For cantrips, grab Infestation and Poison Spray for poison damage. For once infestation is completely kosher as is, since Semiramis can summon any creature as long as its poisonous. Also, grab Message. Castle halls are big and echo-y, and it's probably not a good idea to shout at people to find out which glass they put the poison in. Aside from that, grab Mage Armor so you die less, Magic Missile for Assassin balls, and Tenser's Floating Disk to carry all the raw materials you'll be using later. Finally, you get an Arcane Recovery once per long rest, letting you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest. The total level you recover is equal to half your wizard level, rounded up.

Wizard 2: Going into second level of wizard gives you a school of magic, and it's hard to lift several tons of stone into the air if you're not into Graviturgy. When you take the subclass, you can Adjust Density as an action, doubling or halving a large or smaller creature/object's weight for up to a minute with concentration. If you reduce a creature's weight it'll increase their speed by 10', double their jump distance, and have disadvantage on strength saves and checks, and vice versa if you increase it. I checked, and stone is roughly 1,000 times denser than air, not 2, so we'll have to do some brewing later to make this work out. Make your strong minions stronger, your fast minions faster, or do the opposite for your enemies.

Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. You won't get any dragons in this build, sad to say, but you can use Dragon's Breath to turn just about anything into a dragon. They can even spit poison breath, which is really good with the poisoner's feat. Speaking of..

Wizard 4: First Ability Score Improvement of the build, so grab the Poisoner's Feat for more poisony goodness. All poison-based damage rolls you make ignore resistance, you can coat weapons as a bonus action, and you get proficiency in the poisoner's kit. You also learn a special poison that'll force a dc 14 constitution save on the creature you use it on, dealing 2d8 poison damage and poisoning them for a round.

Wizard 5: Fifth level wizards get third level spells. Animate Dead will help you make dragontooth warriors, a.k.a. skeletons. You can make one per casting right now, but you can recast the spell to retain control over up to three skeletons at once. Otherwise they'll be uncontrollable monsters, which is probably less of a goal.

Druid 1: Semiramis might be known for her poisons, but she's really a multifaceted person. Well, not really, but if you want poisons, you're going to get them from animals. If you want animals, you're going to get them from druids. First level druids learn Druidic- it's a language! They also get another set of Spellcasting using their Wisdom to cast and prepare spells. Check the multiclassing table to figure out your spell slots. Grab Guidance and Resistance to be a bit better than everyone else. For first level spells, look for Entangle and Snare to summon chains to slow down enemies, and Speak with Animals to make sure your dovey-woveys know their work is appreciated. We haven't gotten dovey-woveys yet? Don't worry, they're coming.

Druid 2: Second level druids join their circle, and you're so goddamn smart you just joined another school. At the college of Witherbloom, you'll learn how to turn the vitality of nature into deadly poisons. Right off the bat you get circle spells, which are always prepared for you and don't count against how many spells you can prepare. Right now you get the Spare the Dying cantrip as well as Cure and Inflict Wounds. Now you don't literally have to summon a whip every time you want to hit someone. You can also tap in creatures' essences with your Essence Tap. As a bonus action, you empower yourself for 1 minute, gaining one of two options. Overgrowth lets you heal yourself with a hit die each turn as a bonus action, adding your wisdom modifier to the amount healed. Withering Strike lets you change your damage to necrotic when you hit someone with any sort of damage, ignoring resistances to make your poisons even deadlier. You can use this proficiency times per long rest. Most importantly, you gain a Wild Shape / Wild Companion. Both features use the same two charges per short rest. You're limited to what you can turn into based on its CR and movement options, but those limits and how long you can transform/summon a creature for grows as you level up. Currently I'd stick with Wild Companion for dove familiars, but some versions of Semiramis' story include her turning into a dove herself at the end, so Wild Shape isn't out of the question. As long as we sink eight levels into druid, at least.

Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Ray of Enfeeblement. Look, if you're going to make poisons it only makes sense that you'd have antidotes on hand. You can also grab spells like Animal Messenger to send your doves out for ingredients, and Locate Animals or Plants to find them yourself.

Wizard 6: Sixth level graviturgists can make a Gravity Well when you cast a spell, moving the target 5 feet in any direction if it is willing or you successfully hit it with the spell. Speaking of spells that push people, Pulse Wave does just that, stepping in for the big stompy dragon animation. Creatures in a 30' cone make a constitution save, and if they fail they'll take force damage and get pushed back 15', or 20' with Gravity Well. You can also pull them, but that's not really stompy at that point. You can also Summon Undead to create a stronger skeleton to lead the others.

Druid 4: At fourth level, druids can transform into swimming creatures, and you also get another ASI. Bump up your Intelligence for stronger spells. Also, grab the Control Fire cantrip, it'll be cold in your castle without it.

Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, like Revivify and Vampiric Touch. Neither of those are in character, but you can also Conjure Animals (as long as they're poisonous) and Dispel Magic to keep your throne room free of nonsense.

Wizard 7: Seventh level wizard get fourth level spells, including the one we've been working our way up to, Fabricate! As long as you have the raw materials, you can turn them into products of the same material. Since you're working with stone, you're limited to creating Medium objects this way. Just line the outside of the medium objects you make with halves of smaller objects, then mend them together, and eventually you'll have a castle. This will take a while. For a decent-sized castle of 300'x400', you'll be looking at roughly 480 medium-sized blocks per floor. At level 20 you'll have 12 spell slots of fourth level or higher, so you can knock out a floor in roughly 40 days, not including things like doors or other furniture. Also worth noting, you can't make fancy things like glass without proficiency in the tools required to make them normally, hence all the tool proficiencies from your racial bonuses.

Wizard 8: Use your next ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better healing and stronger druid spells. You also learn Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, so you can prevent creatures from spying into your hanging gardens. Especially useful is the ability to block creatures from teleporting or plane shifting onto your grounds, as that's probably the only way to approach your gardens safely. Or at least it is after you learn Ice Storm, a long range spell that pelts enemies with ice and turns the area into difficult terrain. Of note, it doesn't say the ground, so the entire cylinder will be difficult to fly through. If you want to build giant arcane cannons instead for authenticity, I salute you. Just remember that'll have to come out of your budget.

Wizard 9: Ninth level wizards get fifth level spells, and Wall of Stone will help you speed up construction by making ten 10'x10' panels or ten 10'x20' panels. You can also use this spell to create bridges or the like, and if you hold concentration for 10 minutes the stone remains permanently. If you want to skimp on materials so you can just get this fucking thing in the air already, this'll help with that. You're also learning Geas. If you can't summon a dragon, forcibly controlling a dragon is the next best thing.

Druid 6: Did you think we were done with druid? I said we were stuck here for 8 levels, didn't I? Sixth level witherbloom druids can make a Witherbloom Brew thanks to their new proficiency with Herbalism kits. At the end of a long rest, you can use that kit to make Proficiency brews, which last for 24 hours. A Fortifying brew gives a creature resistance to a damage type chosen at brewing (cold, fire, necrotic, poison, or radiant) for an hour. A Quickening brew heals its drinker, and ends one disease or an effect of charming, frightening, paralyzation, poisoning, or stunning. Again, antidotes might be useful to have on hand, but the real reason we're here is for the Toxifying brew. You can apply the brew to a weapon, and the next time within an hour that weapon hits a creature, they take 2d6 poison damage and have to make a constituiton saving throw (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + proficiency) or be poisoned for a minute. This is literally so much better than the poisoner feat what the hell.

Druid 7: Seventh level druids get fourth level spells, like Blight and Greater Restoration for stronger poisons and antidotes respectively. You can also Dominate Beast to hold any poisonous critters still while you milk them, or summon Giant Insects instead. They obey you and stay giant until they drop to 0 HP, dismiss the effect, the spell ends.

Druid 8: Our last level of druid finally lets you turn into a dove with a second Wild Shape Improvement. You also get another ASI, so bump up that Wisdom for stronger spells and poisons.

Wizard 10: Tenth level graviturgists can create a Violent Attraction between a creature's face and a weapon, causing a nearby weapon attack to deal an extra 1d10 damage. Alternatively, you can increase the attraction between a creature and the ground, adding 2d10. I doubt your hanging gardens need help making the fall more deadly, but now you can help out of need be. You can do this Intelligence modifier per long rest.

Wizard 11: Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells, like Guards and Wards. This will make it so much harder for enemies to breach your castle it isn't even funny, if the "hanging out in the stratosphere" thing didn't tip them off already.

Wizard 12: By twentieth level you should have a castle set up, so grab the Lucky feat. Basically, everything that can go right for you does while you're in your castle, so now you get 3 luck points per long rest to make sure that happens, letting you re-roll your attacks, saves, and checks, as well as attacks aimed at you.

So how the fuck do I get a flying castle?

So, admittedly this is up to DM fiat, but let's be real, a flying castle sounds sick as hell and gathering resources is a great reason to go adventuring. If I was your DM, it'd go something like this; After x months of research, you find a way to prepare materials so Adjust Density is permanent on them if you concentrate for the duration. Then you make and fuse together castle chunks as described in level twelve, and eventually you lighten the load on the special rocks so much they're lighter than air. Boom, liftoff, you're fucking awesome now. If you want to go down, just make the float rocks heavier again.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Even if you don't build a giant floating castle in your adventure, that doesn't mean all this prepwork went to waste. You are a master at protecting areas from invasion, so no matter where you lay your head you know it's going to be safe. Not as safe as a floating castle, but still, safe.

By mixing together all your tool proficiencies with Fabricate, you can make pretty much whatever you need from raw materials. No more paying a smithy for fancier armor!

If you do get your castle in the air or you're near a cliff, you are incredibly deadly, with plenty of ways to shove opponents around or otherwise control movement. Slow them down, trip them up, or shove them off a cliff it's so good. Pulse people off the edge of your garden and laugh at them as they fall.

Cons:

There's literally no rules about building your own castles & poisons, so most of this build is entirely dependent on your DM. If you get a cool one, cool! If you don't, this build is pretty much a writeoff.

You need to hide away in your castle and send out minions because you're kind of pathetic in person. With only 14 AC and less than 100 HP, you'll go down faster than Medb if you don't use your Wild Shapes well.

A lot of that can be chalked up to mixing caster classes, meaning we have to spend more ASIs to make both spell modifiers good, and we miss out on higher level spells. Also, spending 8 levels in druid just to turn into a dove isn't that great unless you really want the flavor. I highly recommend skipping out after 6, the last graviturgy effect is great both to knock people out of the sky and make them bow if they get to your throne room.

But, getting to your throne room is 90% of the fight. This build is one that emphasizes patience, and that's what puts you above the common folk. Hang out in the stratosphere, attend social events in style, and let your poisons and skeleton warriors do the fighting for you. Just be glad there aren't any wacky knights riding hippogryphs around.