#but didn’t post til the 23rd

[rustbeltjessie]

Top: Stuff I've gotten in my PO Box recently. Postcards and notes and zines and tapes and stickers! What could be better? Putting my PO Box address out here and on Instagram (plus reaching out to some old friends) definitely paid off.

Bottom: My most recent library haul. Three DVDs (Lost Highway, Night on Earth, and Female Trouble), four books (Mr. Know-It-All: The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder by John Waters, The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag by Sasha Velour, a how-to of linocut art, and Sermons and Lectures: Both Blank and Relentless and The Obliterations by Matt Hart), and one CD (The Essential Clash).

Honestly, today was a pretty good day. I made myself a sparkling iced coffee and put it in my travel mug, took it with me, drove to the post office while listening to The Clash, mailed off postcards and letters and zines to a bunch of people, checked my PO Box, drove to the library, picked up all that stuff, and then drove home while listening to Fishbone.

[maxivstappen]

౨ৎ WHAT A COINCIDENCE ! ‧₊˚.

౨ৎ part of my short n’ sweet series (not posted yet) ౨ৎ

smau — angst & sweet revenge

pairing — charles leclerc x reader / lando norris x reader ( fc: sabrina carpenter )

summary — charles has a habit of running back to you whenever things don’t work out between him and alex, but how long will you be willing to keep up with his shit?

warnings / disclaimer — none, just some swearing!

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

23rd August 2023 - TWITTER

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

31st August 2023 - TEXTS and TWITTER

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

4th Feburary 2024 - TEXTS

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

5th Feburary 2024 - TWITTER and TEXTS

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

6th February 2024 - @.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA!

liked by landonorris, sadiesink_ and 2,965,201 others

yourusername the only thing that surprised me yesterday was, in fact, the cake ✨ wouldn’t have wanted to spend it any other way — thank you for all your birthday wishes <3

view all 87,082 comments

landonorris ✓ pretty girl

-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓

carlossainz55 ✓ @.landonorris omg🥹 you’re growing up lando

user3 @.carlossainz55 NOT HIM SIDING WITH LANDO THIS IS SO MESSY

user1 i cannot handle everything that’s happened yesterday and today

user2 @.user1 what’s going on?

user3 @.user2 charles and his ex got together again right on y/n‘s birthday and she’s very obviously throwing shade in her caption (saying she’s not surprised because alex and charles are always on&off) + lando just called her pretty girl???

user2 @.user3 omg queen, lando should make a move

milliebobbybrown ✓ happy birthday bb

-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓

user4 @.milliebobbybrown eleven what are you doing here

user7 ICONIC ICON

user5 oscar and lily were there, carlos, lando, george and max were there, where the hell was charles??? he didn’t even like the post

user6 @.user5 he’s with alex again :(

user5 @.user6 WHAT

user6 @.user5 yes even worse, he left the morning of her bday to fly out to alex

user7 @.user6 nobody confirmed it stop talking shit

user8 @.user7 charles was seen at an airport just that morning + it wouldn’t be out of character for him, he’s always been like this + he wasn’t at her bday party but they were still seen together one day before + half of the grid was there but he wasn’t

user8 the caption is so ironic 😭😭

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

23rd August 2024 - @.landonorris ✓ just posted a story on INSTA! (playing: coincidence by y/n l/n)

@.yourusername replied : i love you more lan🥹

@.danielricciardo replied : i thought your obsession would stop now that you’re together but these past months have all proven me very wrong😔

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

TWITTER

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

@.yourusername ✓ just posted on INSTA!

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 5,669,069 others

yourusername what a coincidence! I’ve got a few surprises for you! first of all, my new single “coincidence” is out now! second, music video for said song is coming tomorrow ANNNNNNDDDD surprise surprise surprise!!! MY NEW ALBUM “Short n’ Sweet” COMING OUT NOVEMBER 13TH <333

view all 128,696 comments

user1 ALBUM OF THE YEAR ALBUM OF THE YEAR ALBUM OF THE YEAR

user2 i want her so bad

user3 @.user2 same

user4 IS THAT LANDO’S HEAD ON THE FOURTH SLIDE

user5 @.user4 IT IS

user6 @.user4 HE’LL BE IN HER MV I THINK

user7 @.user6 OH MY GOD

user8 i want both her and lando

user9 lmao charles in the likes👀👀

user10 probably wants her back

landonorris ✓ 🤭🤭

-> ♥️ by @.yourusername ✓

user11 @.landonorris @.charles_leclerc omg look charles!😧 it’s not that hard to interact with and post your girlfriend !!!

user12 @.landonorris PLEASE GET MARRIED HAVE KIDS PLEASE

user13 im gonna stream this til my neighbours know the lyrics by heart

oscarpiastri ✓ lando won’t shut up about you

carlossainz55 ✓ @.oscarpiastri he never will

user14 i love how they’re all friends with y/n🥹🥹

user15 oscar and carlos interaction in y/n’s comment section might be my favourite thing ever

user16 please more charles hate songs 👍

mclaren ✓ streaming rn as we speak

user17 THE ALBUM’S COMING OUT ON LANDO’S BIRTHDAY🥹🥹🥹

。　　　　✧　　　　⁺　 　 　。

general taglist :: @norrisdriver

first smau ever !! probs not the best but i hope you like it anyway :)

[polizwrites]

PoliZ’s WIP Update -  31 Jul 2024

A bit of a struggle to get the words out this week -  I touched three fics (1 new & 2 WIPs) - for a total of 1946  words.   

On Ao3, I posted: 

Chapter Six of A Little Bit Carried Away - WinterIron No Powers omegaverse fic  

The Bloom is Off the Rose -  No Powers AU ficlet with Tony meeting cute with Bucky & Steve (featuring cheating!Ty) 

Overflowing with Passion - Wartime Stucky PWP ficlet. 

On Tumblr I posted: 

Engaging with the Enemy - Bucky & Sam TFAWS scene retelling

I’m juggling  20+  active/semi-active WIPs with my current  deadline being the July Break Bingo, which runs until mid-August, and Hot Bucky Summer and Tony Stark This or That, which run til the end of August.  

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

July Break Bingo [JBB_24] (runs 1-31 Jul  14 August) 

@julybreakbingo  is a fantastic any-fandom bingo event designed to spark creativity during the month of July - plus the first two weeks of August, thanks to an extension! I’ve combined squares with  multiple other events this month and as of today, I have 22 prompts filled and 1 in WIP form, with one or two more  potentially planned. 

* B5 - "Wanna practice?" -  filled this with  Practice Makes Perfect as a crossover with the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF 261 Maybe One More]. It’s a Pre war Stucky getting-together ficlet that came in at 541 words.

* I5 - Engage - filled this with Engaging with the Enemy. A Bucky & Sam TFAWS scene retelling, it crosses over with the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF 263 In The Meadows]. It came in at 356 words.

* G2 Hurt/Comfort - another Flash Fiction Friday crossfill, where I combined this with [#FFF262 Run Far and Fast ] for  Beating a Hasty Retreat, where teenage Steve & Bucky get in a scrape.  It came in at 410 words.

* G3 - "I can't breathe."  - see G3 above. 

* O2 - Betrayal fic - didn’t manage to figure out a crossover on this, so I wrote & posted  The Bloom is Off the Rose, where a note tucked into an apology bouquet Ty gave him leads Tony to meet two handsome florists.  It came in at 655 words and posted on Monday.  

Hot Bucky Summer 2024 [HBS_R2] (Ends 31 Aug)

More fun from the @buckybarnesevents folks - this time weekly challenges to create (usually NSFW) Bucky-centric fanworks!   Thanks to plenty of cross-filling with other events  (I’m looking at you, July Break Bingo)  I’ve submitted something for the first nine weeks and have at least ideas for the remaining three - now  to see if I have time/inspiration to write them!  

* Week 9 July 27th - August 2nd - FREE WEEK | Optional Prompts: WAM (Wet & Messy).  Posted Overflowing with Passion  this morning -  more wartime Stucky sexy shenanigans.  Post-Rebirth, Steve is very … productive when he comes, and Bucky is 100% here for it.  It came in (heh) at  571 words and crosses over with  BaBB: July: Bukkake,   BBB: B4 - Showoff  JBB: I2 - "I feel disgusting." + N1- "Are you done?" + Alt2 - Love as passion.  

* Week 10 August 3rd - August 9th --  “Shhhhhhhhh…” + Gagged  + Voyeurism - Working on Chapter 3 of  Coming Clean. Bucky’s POV - Tony blabbering about how he doesn’t want to come between Steve & Bucky - so the two of them shut him up in the best way.  Currently crossing over with my TSB_R8 - K5 - Misunderstandings  square and  TSTOT_24 -  Row 2: Omega Tony prompt - going to see if I can squish in any  Aug BaBB prompts.

* Week 11 August 10th - August 16th  “You look good like this.” + Kneeling  + Tied Down  +  Ruined.   Probably Chapter 3   of  The Business of Pleasure -  picking up with  Steve’s  POV?  It’s currently sitting at   71 words and I want to see if any Aug BaBB prompts fit.  

* Week 12 - August 17th - August 23rd  – “What should I wear?” + Nothing -  Got inspired by a song lyric to come up with a Greco-Roman wrestling challenge - if I go WinterIron I could squish in  TSB S4 - "Get it over with"  or  S2 - Tony's Poor Life Choices …? I will also see if any Aug BaBB prompts fit.

Hawkeyes Bingo [HB_R2] (Ends TBD) 

Working on this  Tumblr event - got a 3x3 card and am looking forward to creating more  Clint-centric content and trying my hand at a bit of  Kate Bishop fic as well!    

* A3 - Awkward Flirting – this might be a good entry into my first femslash fic with Kate/Yelena?    

* C1 - Magic -  Combined this with a previous Flash Fiction Friday prompt  [#FFF259 House of Cards]   for   Keep a Steady Hand.  Clint notices Bucky getting frustrated with a task and offers to help.  It came in at 632 words and will post to Ao3 possibly later this month.  

Build-A-Bucky Bingo [BaBB_R1] (Ends 1 Sep 2024)

Another fun year-long  event from the folks at  @buckybarnesevents!  Each month there’s a list of prompts and you choose (at least) one  each month for your card!  At twenty-four  fills and two WIPs with three months to go, I seem to be going a bit overboard …. 😁

* May:  Bucky’s Trigger Words -  combined this with last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF251 Out There] for Just To Live One Day Out There - a Winter Soldier self-reflective ficlet. It came in at 312 words and will get posted to Ao3 Real Soon. 

* May:  Praise Kink - Filled this with Chapter Six of A Little Bit Carried Away, which posted on Friday. Alpha!Bucky and omega!Tony get to live out their sexy fantasies.  It came in at 1138 words 

*July: Sharing Clothes - Also filled this prompt with Chapter Six of A Little Bit Carried Away.  

* July: Bukkake, - see HBS Week 9  above

WinterIron Bingo Round 2  [WIB_R2] (Ends 16 Dec 2024)

Signups are still open for pre-made cards for Round Two of this super-fun bingo event! I have fifteen  fills and zero WIPs at the moment - setting this aside for the moment, as I have other time-sensitive events going.  

* Iron Soldier (One Bingo, One Fill) - looking at combining my Column B prompts: Matchmaker, Bucky Riding Tony, Stark Gala, Inside Joke and Threesome.  Still working on a plot - if you have any suggestions/want-to-sees - let me know! 

* I1 - A/B/O: Knotting  - see BaBB May: Praise Kink above.  

* I3 - Car Sex -  Have a fun ficlet in mind for this - some of the dialogue & such already worked out in my head.   Possibly combine with JBB B3 - "You're in denial." 

*I4 - SHIELD HQ - combined this with the Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF245 You Never Cared] and wrote Fathers Don’t Know Best  -  No Power AU with Bucky working as an analyst at SHIELD who stumbles across a late night visitor to the lobby.  It came in at 407 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends.  

* N1 - Hair Pulling Kink -  thanks to a fun prompt from @scottxlogan  - I filled this square with Untangling Their Attraction - where Tony’s offer of assistance leads to mutual kink discovery (not as racy as it might sound).  It’s coming in at 544 words and will post to Ao3 before this event is over. 

* N5 - "I'm here for you."  - Possibly the next chapter of  Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ?  

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round Six [BBB - R6]  (Ends 31 Mar)

This amazing bingo event from the folks over at @buckybarnesbingo is back!  I have ten fills, no WIPs at the moment, but a coiple  more crossovers planned. 

* B4 - Showoff - see HBS Week 9 above.

* K4 - Last Times/Farewells - combined this with a previous  Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF257 Count The Days ] for  Short-Timing It - a pre-war (just barely) Bucky & Steve (Stucky if you squint) ficlet. It came in at 313 words and will post to Ao3 before the event is over.   

Warm and Fluffy   Bingo  [WFB]   (no end date)

Eight fills on my card, courtesy of   @warmandfluffybingocards  - need to try for another crossover or two!

* I2 - Vulnerable Drunk - matched this up with a previous Flash Fiction Friday prompt of [#FFF258 Milky Way Dreams]  for Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines -  a MIT-era Tony & Rhodey ficlet, where a drunk Tony shares a childhood dream with his best friend.  It came in at 318 words and will get posted to Ao3 at some point.   

————

On  other creative fronts:  I am working on a Ziggy the Vulture plush figure for a custom commission.       

If  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[mysticsparklewings]

My Decadent Romance

----------

Happy 20th Birthday to My Chemical Romance’s I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love! 🥳

Also sorta Happy Birthday to the band, as it was their first album release. 🎉

AND Happy belated National Ice Cream Day, which was July 17th—Hence my dessert mashup.🍦

I did a similar thing for Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge’s Birthday in June, & while I didn’t plan to do it again, when I noticed the dates this month I couldn’t help myself.😋

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

----------

I really hadn’t intended on following up on My Delectable Romance. It seemed very much like a one-time thing since it was, in my mind, unlikely that something like National Donut Day and a My Chemical Romance album anniversary would come mere days apart again. Yet here I am a month later. 😂 As it turns out, July 17th was National Ice Cream Day, and My Chemical Romance has another album anniversary (this time for their first: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love) today, July 23rd. Once again, exactly 5 days apart. 😃 I had so much fun last time I felt like I had to at least try and see where this one might take me. [And to be fair, yes, I did originally want to post this on Sunday but I finished it a little too late in the day so I held it back 'til today.] Fellow MCR fans can probably recognize without a word from me that this one was trickier. Bullets’ album cover is the most abstract among the main 4 they released, and quite possibly in their whole discography, too. The only 100% solid imagery is the silhouette of Harry Houdini dangling from his feet in the background (And yes, that is officially who/what that is if you were previously unaware like I was for quite a while after I became a fan!) The rest is a cacophony of maroons and yellow-orange. Still, even if I ended up hating what I came up with and scrapped the project, I wanted to give it a good honest try. And odd as it is, when I really stared at the official artwork, I could just make out a spot in the center where the shapes and colors could, in another universe, look like a hyperrealistic ice cream cone with a drizzle of chocolate syrup or hot fudge. I won’t deny for a second that if I hadn’t had the thought of ice cream in my head I never would have seen it and I’m 200% sure there is no hidden picture of ice cream there—This is simply the magic of the human psyche at play. But it was just what I needed, so I ran with it. 😉 I did my best to bring out what I saw, but admittedly even after significant tweaking, it’s still not 1:1 with what I could see in the original with my imagination. If I had another month to stare and tweak, maybe I could get closer, but that’s not the reality that we live in. 😅 So for the here and now, my hope is simply I managed to bring out what I could see enough that you Sparklers can see a definite ice cream cone and not just a blurry somehow-different-than-the-original mess. My process for this one was actually closer to what I did with Ghosts of Snow and Sun since I was using a mixture of faux oil and acrylic brushes in Procreate, doing lots of back and forth with the layers, etc. There was way more focus on blending here than there was with My Delectable Romance since my basis was more abstract. Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge’s cover still has abstract elements, but the main focus is definitely more graphic and solid in nature. Still, after I’d made decent headway on the ice cream center point, I could start on what I think is my favorite part of the final piece—That ice cream scooper where Houdini should be. 😂 I am so glad that idea popped into my head and I kept pushing until I found the right reference image because I think it ended up working so well! 😋 If you’re having trouble picturing it, this is the kind of ice cream scoop I was going for, as opposed to the simpler kind you’re more likely to have in your kitchen. I specifically wanted the more industrial feel since I thought it mimicked the texture and spirit of the Houdini silhouette better, even though the simple kind probably would’ve matched the general *shape* more closely. Though, contrary to the two points I just made: I actually brought back the sprinkle brush I originally used for Words that Kiss Day 19 where you can see it. Last time [My Delectable Romance, I mean] I used it to fill in the base background, and then just free-handed the clear visible sprinkles at the end. I’m not sure exactly why, but this time, early on I knew the sprinkles probably wouldn’t cut it for the background. Then when I got to the “topping” sprinkles [pun fully intended], I tried to free-hand a few, but it just felt wrong. So I tried the brush on a whim, and this time it feels right to me. Go figure. 🤷‍♀️ The text…Well, the visual style was pretty simple since I already had the right font installed from past MCR projects and I just needed to add a little extra grunge to the edges and a shadow to make it look closer to the official art. The issue there was just figuring out what the text should say. Last time it was easy because “Sweet Revenge” was already in the title and right on the money. “I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love,” really can’t be twisted to relate to sweets or even food in general with the same ease. I went through a couple of other variations—“I Brought You My Bowl, You Brought Me A Scoop/Spoon” or “I Brought You My Hunger, You Brought Me a Cone.” The bowl variation I came up with before I’d started on the artwork proper and had scribbled a 2-minute sketch in one of my IRL books so I’d remember the idea, so before I figured out the final art would use a cone and not a bowl for the ice cream. The original line, “I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love,” has such a poignancy to it; The narrator has something volatile and dangerous, and they are given love as a response. It’s hard to convey the same message while talking about ice cream, so I settled on the classic stereotype of a person eating ice cream/sweets when they’re upset. You come to your friend or lover sad, they offer to take you out for ice cream, that sort of thing. This won out among my options since there’s a song on the album, Our Lady of Sorrows, and there was a demo version released for that song titled Knives/Sorrow. It's not "right on the money" in the same way, but it did feel like it was sitting right there. And I changed the second “brought” to “bought” for the simple reason that if you give someone ice cream in a cone, especially the pointy-end kind, it’s more likely you bought the whole thing—cone, ice cream and all—from a shop on the corner, as opposed to buying the cone and ice cream separately at a big box store and preparing it yourself. It’s a veeeeeeeery subtle implication of “small-time business with a lot of care into the final product,” and that’s definitely what MCR was back when Bullets was first released. To say they’ve come a long way since then is an understatement, and somehow they managed to add more care instead of taking it away like so many other bands do when they “make it.” Oh, and one more text/word-related thing: I learned when double-checking my spelling on the title that while “Decadent” is used to mean a rich, luxurious dessert, it also means “characterized by or reflecting a state of moral or cultural decline.” Until today, I only ever knew of the dessert usage, but I am fascinated by the duality the word apparently has, and I find it incredibly fitting for MCR. 😊

So, like last time we’re left with this art that is, at its core, very silly, but it was fun to make and I’m glad I listened to that little voice in my head pushing me to just try it. 👍 Will we see the other two albums is silly dessert forms like this? I don’t know. It really depends…Not necessarily on if other dessert-related days come out around their anniversaries, though that would be a particularly good motivator. I think the fact I got 2 almost in a row was lucky enough 😆. Rather now it hinges more on if I can think of two more dessert-ish ideas that would work for them both…and remember their release dates in time. 😅 Either way, I can tell you guys I’ve already got some other non-dessert-ish MCR art waiting in the wings for the right time. (August, if things go according to plan 😉) So hopefully that’ll be something for you to look forward to while I get back to…other things... 👀

----------

Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings

I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love and associated concepts © My Chemical Romance  

----------

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[conscious-naivete]

my twitch follow dates are so funny and confuzzling

like, i didn’t have an account until presumably october 23rd cuz that’s when i followed tommy. now, you may be thinking, ‘okay, cons followed tommy first, that makes sense, she got pulled into dsmp with tommy-tubbo-wilbur fanart and some funny posts about dream, i bet she followed a bunch of creators that day, having just made an account’ and you’d be right! so who else did i follow on october 23rd?

fundy eret and quackity.

3 days later i followed sam ant n karl, 6 days later hbomb and purpled

two weeks later i followed tubbo (nov 6th), 3 days after that was wilbur phil and jack (nov 9), and 5 days later was ranboo (nov 11). the rest of them were kinda the mid/end of november into december

what the heck was i doing? how was i spending my time? i watched the tubbo’s festival pov Live! as a tubbling i’m appalled and as a general dsmp fan i’m baffled. why did i not follow wilbur for so long? i followed sam n ant for badlands reasons, i know, but not bbh for another month?? til After “who cares”?! maybe i accidentally unfollowed somewhere in there? i know i didn’t understand how twitch worked but how bad was it???

[auggie-hunter]

the insomnia diaries;

❛ surprise. send an unexpected nsfw image to my muse.

truthfully, auggie should've known this could’ve happened one day. not that he’d ever expect it from her, or even ask, but he should’ve known teddy graham would find new and exciting ways to make him fall out of his chair.

(literally; he’s in the middle of a stream when it happens. he’d seen the notification go off while waiting for his game to load and had the capital idea to fully lean over to check instead of just reaching for his phone with his arm.

he’s could not be more relieved that he falls to the ground because he isn’t sure he could’ve kept a poker face on camera. or that he’d make it to his 23rd birthday with the way his heart is racing)

and while his viewers are likely laughing up a storm at his faux pas, turning his chat to chaos, he manages enough mental capacity to mute his mic, eyes still glued to his phone.

because his girlfriend, bare from the chest up with an arm tucked behind her head and a knowing, bright red smirk on her lips, stares back at him on his phone.

vlauggie: sorry dudes, technical difficulties, we’re back tomorrow, 7pm. ps: you’re all banned for laughing at me :)

…even if technical difficulties were, quite literally, him dramatically unplugging the computer and running to his bedroom where she laughed loudly when he all but jumped her bones.

worth it. totally.

__________________

❛ abrupt. kiss my muse out of the blue.

she’s in the middle of a phone call with her sisters, giggling from her place on the barstool at the kitchen island. about whatever it is they’re discussing. he isn’t sure; he genuinely hasn’t been listening. what he is sure about is how happy she looks to hear their voices and be laughing with them.

he hasn’t seen her smile in so long, he thinks, and his heart squeezes when he realizes just how long it’s actually been. eight months since they lost lip.

her eyes look so bright, and she looks so much like herself. like his teddy. like the heaviness of her heartbreak isn’t weighing her down.

like she might fly again.

he’s missed this for her.

she’s mid sentence when he cups both her cheeks and presses his lips to hers, soft and tender and warm. it catches her off guard; he can tell by the way she stares back at him, lips slightly parted, confusion on her brow. but instead of answering her or explaining, he drops a long, lingering kiss atop her head, thumbs swiping softly over her cheeks.

she mutters something about calling them back and her arms are sliding around his waist a second later, drawing him into her arms.

__________________

❛ go down. go down on my muse.

he almost hates that she’s here like this. almost. that she could come back after all this time, after he finally figured out how to make himself stop missing her long enough to move on. 

he almost hates that he’s so addicted to her that he’s willing to burn it all down for her.

almost. but auggie hunter could be  selfish like that. teddy graham would always make him selfish when it came to her.

they were just supposed to talk. she just wanted to talk, or so she said. the way she’d fallen into his lap in the middle of it all told a different story.

the way he falls right into her makes him angry, because he knows she knew he would, and that he always would. she knows her choosing not to talk and just go straight into the familiar is her way of having her cake and eating it, too.

but two can play at that game. and he can’t say he’s doing much thinking when he lifts her onto the desk in front of him though. or when he’s pulling lace that he wants to pretend wasn’t strategic down her thighs and letting his mouth following the same trail back up them.

the ring on his left hand burns with the weight of what he’s doing, and the pressure of soft, firm skin underneath it. he desperately wonders in the back of his mind if there will ever be a day in his life where he isn’t weak for the woman in front of him.

(he also wonders how in the world they got here)

__________________

❛ note. give my muse a note saying : [ content ].

he’s surprisingly nervous today. ironic, considering he’s technically already done this. but til the day he died, auggie hunter was certain teddy graham would, without much effort on her part, make his heart race.

they weren’t even going to have a wedding. they’d talked about it, sure, once they’d gotten back from paris, matching rings on their fingers. they’d said they could do it one more time for their parents’ sake.

except the world had been put on pause, she’d turned out to be pregnant, and they’d had more pressing matters to attend to in the form of two babies and more love and life than they knew what to do with.

but that was then. this was now. their daughters are eight months old, the world’s eased back in, and their families are waiting patiently in the terrace of the house in maine he and teddy had called home for the better part of the last eighteen months.

they’re getting married. again.

and he’s nervous.

the thing is, if he could see her, then maybe he wouldn’t feel so antsy about it. call it separation anxiety after all the time they’d spent together coupled with way too much excitement.

and he’d see her soon; one glance at his watch tells him they’re only twenty minutes out from when he’d be waiting for her at the top of the beautifully decorated aisle in the garden.

(the watch is a present from freddie when he’d come in to help with his tie, their father’s initials engraved in the back. “he’s here, too…” his brother had said, and they’d both held back tears)

but somehow, twenty minutes feels like an eternity.

he closes his eyes and takes a long deep breath, trying to get it together, before reaching for his suit jacket. he’s getting married. (again).

while running both hands over the front to smooth out the neatly pressed material that makes him look older somehow, wise beyond his years, a crinkling grabs his attention. he furrows his brow, wondering if the dry cleaners had forgotten some kind of tag in the pocket. he’s careful with the boutonniere, trying to make sure he didn’t ruin teddy’s favorite flower resting delicately over the pocket.

an envelope.

he furrows his brow as he pulls it out. that for sure hadn’t been in there before. or at least… he thought he’d have noticed when he pulled it out of the garment bag. the paper crinkles in his hand when he turns it to read it, and then, he smiles.

auggie.

written in a familiar cursive he’s seen a dozen times on post-its, in journals, in love letters. teddy.

he’s careful not to rip it when he opens it, chuckling to himself when he spots the blue paw print sticker on the back. an ode to their ongoing blue’s clues binge when rosie decides she’s over sleeping promptly at 4:07 in the morning.

loving you is my favorite part of waking up every morning. and knowing i’ll get to love you the next day is my favorite part about going to sleep. thank you for taking my hand, and wrecking all of my plans. i wouldn’t have it any other way.

can’t wait to marry you (again!!!)

- ted

yeah. he’s ready now. and would be forever.

__________________

❛ mark. leave a mark on my muse’s body [ specify where ].

working out your history probably wouldn’t end with a purple bruise on your hip bone.

(or it could; it would maybe just lead to a more fun memory than the painful one you’re currently dwelling on)

had you sorted your shit out, you wouldn’t have shown up late at night, dressed (or undressed) in the way you were, to jump into the arms of a married man.

(or you would’ve, except you’d have been his wife, and he’d have been your husband and you would’ve giggled in each other’s arms in the aftermath)

but the purple bruise on your hip bone is angry, a symbol of wanting and taking what doesn’t belong to you, of him having his cake and eating it, too, (literally) even if you’re the one who let him in the first place.

you’re the one who showed up to his restaurant late at night; you’re the one who insisted you talk; you’re the one who found your way onto his lap.

(even if he’s the one whose deep frustration led him to push you onto the desk in his office and find home between your legs, hands gripping your thighs like a lifeline. the red scratches on the side of your right thigh should fade soon; at least the reminder of the band on his finger not having the strength to last as long as the tender skin low on your hip bone.

the secret, wordless brand on your skin is a longer reminder of how much he resents you for leaving him.

or maybe he resents you more for coming back.

then again, he’s the married one, you think selfishly. although, there’s a ring on your finger that makes you a hypocrite since you’d be there soon, too.

had you sorted your shit out, you wouldn’t be staring at a reminder on your bare skin through the mirror. you’d be with him. where you belong.

and he’d be with you, where he belongs.

(but maybe the bullshit ends with you. maybe you’re the one who sorts it by slipping the ring off your finger.)

(and you refuse to be anyone’s secret. and you refuse to have him of all people be yours)

(you just desperately hope he feels the same)

__________________

❛ pin. push my muse against a [ wall, table, other ].

teddy wasn’t even going to have a bachelorette party. she was just planning on grabbing auggie and eloping at the courthouse, wanting nothing more than to just be married to him. but she should’ve known her sisters wouldn’t be able to help herself. even her little siblings bixby and belly, freshly twenty-one, wanted in on the planning.

it’s how she finds herself leading a singalong of four of her siblings, her future siblings in law, her best friends, and fellow patrons while belting “africa” by toto at a karaoke bar, drunk on too many sugary lime mojitos.

there’s a tilted crown on her head that looks too perfectly placed for how tacky it’s actually meant to be, and she’s clumsier than usual, so while the room goes wild, daily has to come to her rescue and help her off the stage when it’s over.

she’s one step down when she spots him, all the way at the back by the bar. her jaw drops and she gasps like she hasn’t seen him in ages though it’s only been a few hours.

her fiancé, her auggie, watching her with his smile like sunshine and cinnamon bun wrinkled forehead. (good lord, she’s drunk) she loves him so much.

(she’s really gonna be his wife. she could cry.)

daily’s calling after her when she clumsily runs away from her and toward his direction, narrowly missing a waitress on her way over. but teddy ignores her, a woman on a mission.

her lips are on his before she even says hi, arms wrapping around his neck and crossing at her forearms. she nudges him back, pinning him up against the corner of the bar, and when he chuckles against her mouth and pulls back to look at her, she grins just as wide.

“sorry to interrupt your big night, i just wanted to—“

she shakes her head and kisses him again. “never, i missed you sooooo much.” this time her smooch is loud, and he laughs wrapping an arm around her waist when he feels her kiss more of the space above this lips than his actual lips.

somewhere behind her, she can hear olive mutter something about it being a bachelorette party, but she doesn’t entirely care. auggie’s here!

“baby,” he mumbles against her mouth, pulling back. “go back to your party. i just wanted to bring you this,” he pulls out her engagement ring from inside his pocket. “i thought you might’ve forgotten it. though i think i should hold on to it for now.”

she pouts, ready to protest, but he grabs her left arm from where it rests at his shoulder, a huge, pink toy diamond ring on her finger. “just until you come home; you’re already covered.” he kisses her cheek three times.

“el—“ she hiccups. “it was eliza’s idea. she said she saw it on one tree hill and was scared i’d lose mine.”

he snorts. “thanks, one tree hill.”

“go ravens.” she giggles and stands on her toes to kiss him. “wanna make out?”

“i think you’ve got that part covered,” he says against her lips, still so very amused at her.

“okay but over there so i can take your pants off,” she slurs, closing the inch of space between them so he’s pinned against the bar counter.

“how about you go have fun, and i’ll wait for you later with no pants.” though he knows a puddle of drunk teddy would end her night in sleep, but he humors her.

she gasps. “can we go now?” and he has to catch her hand before she unbuttons his pants.

“no, olive and allie are already glaring at me for being here,” he tells her and kisses her forehead. “go; i’ll see you at home, okay?”

“…fine. i love you. a lot, a lot. like, to pluto a lot.”

there’s that smile again, big and bright and she all but melts into her boots: “i love you, too.”

as she’s walking away, she turns back to look at him. “i won’t even tell anybody about your whole fake pretest. pretet… pre…” she huffs, tongue tied again:

he laughs. “you caught me.” and with a final wink, she’s finally back with her party, and he’s walking out the door, both hands in his pockets, and his soft grin intact.

__________________

❛ choke. intimately wrap your hands around my muse’s throat.

okay, so it isn’t shocking per se; all the time they spent surviving on stolen moments and making the most of them for so long (before deciding to just say screw it, secrets be damned) had turned into lessons and discoveries.

lessons and discoveries that led them both to understand they were all kinds of kinky.

like how auggie was easily putty in teddy’s hands at the sight of her in any kind of lace. or satin. or leather, and how much she loved how easy it was for her get him to bend at her whim. or teddy being really into being tied up (and tying him up). her affinity for being blindfolded (and blindfolding him)

“i like surprises.” she’d said it at her birthday dinner; herhad eyes met his across the dinner table, knowing he’d know what she meant despite being surrounded by all their friends, none of them any wiser.

there’s auggie’s obsession with going down on her, and the way her legs had a little too much power over him. he was convinced this was why she’d started wearing shorter dresses in his presence. though she’d never admit it.

(it’s how he put two and two together about how having him look, but not touch was a turn on for her, and how she’d put it into practice by having him sit at the edge of her bed while she showed him all the ways she touched herself without him)

marks that scream mine, a slight tug of hair (or two), a hand up her skirt hidden in plain sight was a bit of a power trip, only to be met with bare, wet skin. because two could play at that game.

teddy on her knees. auggie from behind. chasing orgasms in new and exciting ways…

the list went on and on.

so again, finding this out isn’t shocking. a little surprising, considering they thought they’d fully populated the mental list by now. but when she’s pressed into the mattress, and he stops moving in her for a second to help ease her head out of the uncomfortable position it had ended up in, another discovery is made.

she’d winced, and when she’d complained about her head, he’d cupped the back of her neck, and gripped gently to help her get more comfortable. except his thumb puts a little more pressure than intended against her throat in the effort to help her move, and the way her eyes flutter while lips part and she clenches tighter around him gives him pause.

teddy appears a little surprised herself, especially with how her eyes widen when he lets go and she realizes what had just happened. he’s a little blown away, but clearly not as much as she is. but then his brow raises, a silent “really?” appearing on his face with an upward quirk of his lip.

of course, before she can even put together an explanation, her cheeks rouge a deeper shade of red than just a moment earlier to match her averted eyes and bashful expression.

he bows his head to kiss her. a reminder that there’s no need to be embarrassed. not about this, and especially not with him.

(even if the way she usually blushed while turned on, all the way from her face down to her chest, easily made his head spin. the way he could tell the difference was pretty hot, too)

but then auggie slows it down, more deliberate and sensual, and yet a little dirty, his hand eases back onto her neck, fingers and thumb applying careful pressure. he pulls back to look at her. he needs to follow her lead on this one; he won’t do it otherwise. there’s a word for this, too.

 teddy’s eyes meet his, a slow nod of consent and trust allow him to keep going. and when those same eyes flutter again, and her lips part, he knows he’s found it. her sweet spot. and then he moves inside her again, picking back up where they left off.

she comes faster than either of them anticipate after that.

lesson #350.

__________________

missed connections… what if we just missed who we were in a past life?

“wait, so you really just told indy you wouldn’t come to her wedding if she didn’t invite me?” teddy laughed, smoothing out the skirt of her dress, soft pink and ending just at her mid-thigh. indigo graff wanted a wedding of whimsy, which meant seventies florals and springtime energy. “you’re her maid of honor! it’s a small wedding.”

olive shrugged, the blonde highlights in her recently cut hair appearing extra glossy while styled in soft beach waves. “she knows i hate our cousins, i absolutely wasn’t getting through this without someone normal. and eliza couldn’t fly back from bali, and you know drew is still stuck in davenport because he’s the worst--”

“he’s not; you love him, and there’s a random springtime blizzard.”

“teddy stop being rational please, i’m being bitter, let me be bitter.” olive straightened out her own dress, the navy color as close to black as indigo would let her go for the day. she wasn’t hating it, or the way it contrasted with her red lipstick. “who plans an entire wedding in two weeks?!”

“okay,” teddy watches her trying to find the fine line between rational and letting olive be olive, but she’s still quite amused about this. “but scarlett is here. and forest is here.”

“forest is taking his photog job way too seriously so after we’re done being bridesmaids he’s gonna go off in search of the perfect wedding candids,” olive rolls her eyes while wrestling with the spandex shorts she’s wearing underneath to get them straight. “and i adore my sister, but scarlett decided she wanted to bring patrick to the wedding, and she adores patrick and will inevitably dump me for him once she’s done bridesmaid-ing. clearly my siblings don’t care about me and my needs..”

“on this day of all days? what a betrayal,” teddy snorts deadpan. “and you told me to bring ivy!” she walks around to help olive finish freshening up.

“i did, i know. but i like ivy. i don’t like patrick.”

“you don’t like anyone.”

“i know that, too,” olive says simply exhaling heavily before taking a look in the mirror. “okay, this is gonna have to do.”

teddy smiles at her through the mirror. “you look beautiful,” she tells her, wrapping both arms around olive’s shoulders and squeezing her tight. “come on, grumpy.”

as they make their way out of the bathroom, her best friend’s sigh makes teddy turn around. “i just can’t believe my big sister’s getting married.” olive’s lip quirks, pride swelling in her chest.

teddy grins. “you’re so cute. let’s get you over to her before all this real emotion goes away,” she teases, leading her out the door, but not before she bumps chest first into someone’s back just beside the door.

“oh!” teddy exclaims, grabbing onto a set or arms to find her balance.

“shit, sorry!”

olive glares, stopping short just before she could bump into teddy. “who stands in front of a bathroom door?!”

“sorry!”

olive looks to teddy. “auggie. fredward’s lame brother. and best man.”

“hi olive,” he shakes his head, seeming more amused at her antics than annoyed. like they’d been through this before. “hi, nice to meet you…”

“teddy,” she motions to herself. “best friend.”

he smiles. “teddy. that’s cute.”

teddy grins. “thank you.”

“don’t flirt with her, she’s taken,” olive interjects and teddy giggles when auggie blushes.

he clears his throat, shooting teddy an apologetic look before turning to olive. “i was looking for you actually. scarlett sent me. indigo’s ready to go.”

“and why didn’t scarlett come get me herself?”

auggie shrugs, but before he can say another word, teddy’s whisking her best friend away.

“come on, oli; it’s showtime, you can yell at your new in-laws later.” teddy shoots auggie a look of amusement and a friendly wave before disappearing down the hall.

the chaos of it all.

[drarryruinedme7]

Two Malfoys Are Better Than One

Posted on Tumblr too @mzuul for their precious art: The Perfect Gift. 😍

Threesome- Draco/Draco/Harry | Rating: E | Length: 3,6K | Tags: PWP, Dom/sub Undertones, Top Draco, Bottom Harry, very much Explicit Sexual Content, Pet Names, Over-sensitive Harry Potter, Double Penetration, Blink and you’ll miss it breath kink, Orgasm Delay, Anal Sex, From fuck to love? | Beta: amazing @keyflight790 ❤️

Two Malfoys Are Better Than One (AO3)

“Malfoy?” Harry heard the door of Grimmauld Place close as Malfoy entered the house, the scent of his citrus shampoo lingering in the air behind him.

It was enough to make Harry hard, his mind already going in all kinds of directions.

Pity Malfoy always had to open his mouth and ruin everything.

“I see you can still recognize people, in spite of the ripe old age.” Malfoy turned towards him, leaning his hip against the banister of the stairs that led to the second floor, a smirk already pulling at his plump lips.

He was annoying, really. And his voice absurdly irritating. Not at all one of the reasons why Harry’s cock was throbbing in his pants. He cleared his throat, hoping his voice wouldn’t show just how much he was already affected by Malfoy’s presence.

“You idiot, you’re older than me, and today’s just my 23rd birthday.” It came out breathy, the exact opposite of the usual spite they reserved for each other when in public. But here they were alone, in the safety of Harry’s house, which reminded him…

“What are you doing here, Malfoy?”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he approached Harry, a predatory glint in his eyes. When he was mere inches from Harry he purred in his ear, “I have a birthday gift for you, sweetheart.”

Harry knew, he knew that the pet name served as a reminder of their positions, of his place, but he couldn’t avoid the contented whimper that escaped his lips at hearing Malfoy call him ‘sweetheart’ with that soft tone.

In a swift movement, Malfoy grabbed Harry’s waist and pushed him against the wall, pressing him there with his body, his straining erection hot against Harry’s thigh.

“Wanna see what it is?” Malfoy breathed on Harry’s mouth but didn’t give him time to reply because he slowly licked Harry’s bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth. He released it, breathed again, “Mh, do you, sweetheart?” and intertwined their hands, bringing them up above Harry’s head, pushing his chest against the wall, blocking Harry’s breathing. Fuck, Malfoy could always turn him into mush with only a few moves, few words.

Harry tried to take a breath but almost choked on it, Malfoy’s weight still pushed against him. His cock gave a jolt at the feeling, his voice already panting. “M-Malfoy, I can’t—”

“Breathe? You know you like it.” Harry could hear the smirk in Malfoy’s tone, but a second after, he was stepping back, the lack of his body heat already painful.

Harry held his gaze, smirked. Malfoy could never resist him when he tantalised him, his Dom side singing at the possibility of showing exactly who was in control.

“Um, how come you have a gift for me? We’re not boyfriends, as you always like reminding me with your daily owls. ‘Hi Potter, day 321, a gentle reminder we’re only fucking.’  ‘Hi Potter, day 405, we’re still only fucking.’ I have hundreds of them, together with the notes you leave on my desk every morning and your emails and—”

Malfoy waved a hand in front of Harry, scowling. “Okay, okay! Well! If you don’t like my notes, you could have just said so.”

Harry snorted, and cursed himself for the affection that gushed through him. “I like them, Malfoy. After all, they’re a sign you think about me every day.”

A faint blush covered Malfoy’s cheeks, but he quickly took back, saying with a shrug, “Listen Potter, the thing is, we’re fucking and that’s great, it works like this, right? But who said enemies who fuck can’t have birthday gifts?”

Harry narrowed his eyes at him, bracing himself for yet another one of Malfoy’s jokes. “Enemies?”

Malfoy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and approached Harry again, his lips brushing Harry’s when he whispered, “Meet me in your bedroom in ten minutes.”

Harry stared as Malfoy turned and stalked off towards the bedroom, giving him the perfect view of his perky arse. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, wondering about what Malfoy had possibly bought him.

Since they started fucking, they established some rules, safe words, what games and toys could be used. Harry loved to sub, he especially loved it with Malfoy, but there were some things he wasn’t comfortable with. Surely Malfoy had respected that, right?

Taking a fortifying breath, he made his way toward the bedroom, slowly pushing the door open.

“About time, Potter. I’d punish you, but today’s your birthday. I’ll leave you one, sweetheart.”

Whatever response was on the tip of Harry’s tongue, it died when he saw Malfoy sitting on the bed, legs sprawled, completely naked, gasping on the word ‘sweetheart’ as he was stroking his cock in long, teasing tugs.

Harry froze, not knowing what to do, what he wanted from him.

“Come here, sweetheart.” Malfoy’s pupils were dilated and his gaze unfocused, wandering madly all over Harry’s body as he reached the bed.

“Get naked.”

This time the tone didn’t let any space to the imagination; it was a command, one that Harry was more than happy to comply. He stepped out of his pyjama bottoms, climbed onto the bed and settled himself between Malfoy’s legs.

Harry’s gaze dropped to his cock, shining with drops of pre-come. Sucking in a breath, he looked up again to find Malfoy smirking, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

“The t-shirt too, sweetheart.”

Harry shook his head — right, the t-shirt. He threw it off somewhere by his side, and didn't take off his pants, knowing it was one of Malfoy’s favourite parts.

He returned to look at Malfoy, waiting for the next instruction. Letting go of his cock, Malfoy moved closer to Harry, pushing him onto the bed, pinning his hands above his head, straddling his lap.

He finally kissed Harry, licking along his bottom lip, eliciting a deep moan from him, thrusting his tongue inside his mouth. They started an agonizingly slow grind against each other, every brush of Malfoy’s cock on Harry’s sending sparks of lust across his skin.

It was always like this with Malfoy. Harry felt every little movement, every brush, lick, kiss, multiplied in every cell of his body, making him dizzy and crazy with want.

When Malfoy left his mouth to trail kisses along his jaw, Harry groaned, bucking his hips forward, searching for friction. Malfoy smiled against his cheek and brought a hand to his hip, pushing it into the mattress, with a strength Harry knew would have left bruises. This thought made Harry’s head spun, and he started to unleash incoherent begs, “P-pease, let me move, l-let me… I-I need…”

Malfoy only pressed harder on his hip, biting on Harry’s earlobe. “Stay still and be patient, pet, all in good time.”

Harry panted desperately, wanting more right now, right then, but he learned that waiting had its rewards with Malfoy.

He nodded frantically, tilting his head to give Malfoy better access to his neck and a second after he felt Malfoy’s tongue trailing a long stripe along his throat, his Adam’s apple, biting gently at his flesh, the contact once again making Harry’s world spin around him.

He closed his eyes, arching his back off the bed, sinking his hand into Malfoy’s hair, trying to disentangle his other hand from Malfoy’s grip.

Malfoy tightened his hand around Harry’s wrist in response, and raised his head, his eyes serious. He cast a wandless and wordless spell, black silk laces appearing at Harry’s wrists, bringing them together and clasping them to the headboard of the bed.

Harry gasped at the feeling, already lost for the man straddling him. Malfoy smirked and shifted lower, brushing his lips to Harry’s nipple, whispering, “I told you to stay still, sweetheart, didn’t I?”

Harry nodded, trying to remember when he said so, but coming up with only the memories of Malfoy’s lips on his ear, neck, Malfoy’s hard cock pressed against his, his body sliding on his, his low moans the only sounds Harry could recall.

Malfoy kept lapping at Harry’s nipple, circling it with his tongue, lightly grazing his teeth on it as the hand at Harry's hip started moving and a finger was suddenly brushing the hem of his pants, slowly tracing a line from one hip to the other.

Harry’s senses felt overwhelmed by Malfoy’s touches, his light gasps, his firm voice, his permeating scent. He growled, desperately trying to move his hands, to touch Malfoy, to have something, anything more than this, his cock throbbing achingly in his pants.

He felt Malfoy softly giggling on his chest and then kissing somewhere at Harry’s ribs, he had no idea, he only craved for that mouth to go lower and lower, until he felt Malfoy's hand grasp his pants and tugging.

Harry planted his feet on the mattress and raised his arse from the bed to help him get them off, the fabric maddeningly brushing Harry’s cock. He let out a strangled moan and looked down to see Malfoy looking right at him, lowering his head and licking a long stripe from the base of Harry’s cock to the tip.

Harry’s sight blurred and he threw his head back, his mouth opening in a silent gasp, his stomach clenching. The feeling of Malfoy’s tongue on his cock was almost unbearable and his hands itched to move and grasp Malfoy’s hair, urging him to take his cock finally.

But Malfoy just licked the pre-come away and came back to Harry’s balls, slowly licking them, and then lower again on Harry’s perineum.

He lapped at the furled skin with the flat of his tongue and Harry saw stars. He panted, “M-Malfoy, please, I beg you… s-suck—”

Harry’s plea died in his throat when Malfoy finally replaced the tongue on his hole with his finger and swallowed his cock instead, until his nose rested on Harry’s groin.

The finger on Harry’s hole slipped in, wet, til the first knuckle and then out again. Malfoy sucked on Harry’s cock, swirling his tongue on the shaft as the finger thrust back in, until it was completely buried in Harry’s arse.

Harry cried out, relief coursing through him, his hips helplessly bucking against Malfoy’s finger, his brain completely fuzzing. “Oh gods, more, more, Malfoy—”

This time Malfoy thrust in with two fingers and let go of Harry’s cock, sitting between his legs instead, caressing his thigh with his free hand, looking pleased down at him.

Harry looked back at Malfoy, his legs trembling with the effort of holding back his impending orgasm, a plea in his eyes.

“Not yet, sweetheart. You don’t want to ruin your birthday gift, do you?”

Harry opened his mouth to reply as Malfoy added a third finger and thrust in, brushing Harry’s prostate and making his entire body shake with the need to come.

He bucked his hips up, searching for an invisible friction, not having enough, not able to come yet. He sighed loudly, trying to gather his composure to be able to properly respond, and glowered at Malfoy.

“Malfoy, is my birthday gift your cock? Because I’ve already had it, you know…"

A mischievous glint lit Malfoy’s eyes, and he pulled out his fingers, making Harry’s leg slightly tremble under his touch. He already mourned the loss of those fingers and bit his tongue for giving a salty response.

But then Malfoy slipped a hand under Harry’s body and tugged, and Harry sat up, following his touch. Malfoy untied Harry’s wrists, but before Harry could finally touch him, grasp him, he grabbed his hands and tied them again behind Harry’s back.

“Malfoy, wha—”

“Do you remember,” Malfoy whispered at his ear, “the safe word?”

Sighing for finally having his arms lowered, even if still blocked, Harry nodded. “Mango.”

“Good boy. Use it if it’s too much, okay?”

Harry froze, his mind racing. They never had to reaffirm their rules, they were ordinary habit by now. What the fuck did the prat have in mind?

Together with a touch of anxiety, lust sparked again in Harry at the thought of letting himself go to something new once again, with Malfoy. Curiosity took over and he nodded, trustful, contented.

Malfoy settled himself behind Harry and pulled him into his lap, just enough to align Malfoy’s cock to Harry’s hole.

Harry slowly sank down on Malfoy’s cock, opening his mouth in a deep growl of satisfaction at the feeling of fullness he was craving so desperately, his cock leaking a spurt of pre-come as Malfoy grasped his hips to guide him.

When he was fully seated, Malfoy bit on his shoulder and grabbed his tied hands with one hand. He thrust lightly in and Harry wiggled his hips, the feeling of Malfoy’s cock stretching him making him weak.

He rose a bit, leaning on his knees, and Malfoy took the hint, starting to fuck him at a rough pace, soon finding Harr’s sweet spot.

Just as Harry felt his balls tighten and the room spin around him, Malfoy pinched his arm, taking him out of his lust, and growled breathless, “You know, Potter—”

He took a deep breath and started again, his voice firmer, “I really struggled to find the perfect birthday gift for you today.”

Harry listened as Malfoy thrust in more forcefully, sliding one hand over his chest to brush his nipple, smashing his ability to think.

“I mean, you have it all,” he went on, helping Harry rise and sink again on his cock, Harry’s strength abandoning him for the effort of not coming, “What more could I give you?”

He finally untied Harry’s hands, positioning them in front of Harry, so that Harry was now leaning his weight on his own arms. That’s when one of Malfoy's hands came to Harry’s throat, grasping it as he knew it would have sent Harry over the edge in mere minutes.

He caressed his pulsing vein, pressing slightly. Harry choked on a gasp, feeling his cheeks aflame, the need of orgasming more and more strong.

Malfoy leaned to his ear and went on, “And then that’s when I realised. What better gift to give you… than me.”

Harry blinked two, three, four times. Either Malfoy had succeeded to fuck him into silliness, or the overwhelming pleasure was intoxicating him, because in front of him Harry could distinctly see another Malfoy, dressed in shirt and trousers, a smirk on his face.

“M-Malfoy, what the fuck, who—”

The Malfoy in front of him got closer unbuckling his belt, taking Harry’s chin between his thumb and index finger, pulling him in a heated kiss. Harry’s brain shut down, he was sure Malfoy was right behind him, still fucking into him, brushing his prostate over and over again, then who was now kissing him, making him tremble?

As he broke the kiss, the second Malfoy unbuttoned his shirt, making some of the buttons jump on the floor, and he put a hand on Harry’s chest, slowly sliding it lower and lower, until he grasped Harry’s cock.

From behind him came Malfoy’s familiar drawl. “Do you like your surprise, sweetheart?”

Harry looked at the second Malfoy as he started stroking him and he knew, right in that moment, that he could not hold back his orgasm anymore.

“I… don’t know what to say. E-everything I feel is so en-enhanced…”

He closed his eyes, letting his other senses guide him. Laying his head on the shoulder of the second Malfoy, Harry begged. “Let me c-come, Malfoy… p-please…”

He heard a single reply from two identical voices. “Come, sweetheart.”

Harry’s cock released the first spatter of come as the two Malfoys were still finishing to speak, his senses wrecked by Malfoy’s thrusts and the scent of the other Malfoy’s hair so close to his face. He kept leaking come on Malfoy’s hand for what felt like an eternity and when he finished he barely registered Malfoy sliding out of him and laying him down on the bed on his back.

“Gods, Malfoy, I… that was…”

“Not even the beginning.” The second Malfoy was undressing himself, climbing the bed right next to his Malfoy. Harry realised he had no idea anymore who was the real one.

“What… what do you mean?” Harry felt exhausted, but his cock seemed to think differently. It was still fully hard, and was throbbing at the image in front of his eyes.

In a flash, Harry realised Malfoy hadn't come yet and made to grasp his cock, but he gently batted his hand away.

“I want to fuck you again. But—”

He turned towards his clone.

Fuck.

Harry’s eyes widened and for a second, his cock started to wilt. Surely, he didn’t mean to double penetrate him, right?

“I want you to take both of us.”

Shit.

Harry propped himself up on his elbow, regarding him with a wary gaze. He opened his mouth to tell him off, when he looked at the two of them together and his cock hardened once again fully.

The idea of having twice of what he usually had started to implant itself in his mind. If his orgasms were already so strong with one Malfoy, how would it be with two?

He laid on the bed again, holding Malfoy’s gaze. “Okay.”

If he wasn’t sure of this decision, the happiness reflected in Malfoy’s eyes did the trick.

“You’re such a good boy, sweetheart, you know? Good good good boy. I’ll treat you so well, I’ll be patient, pet, you’ll love it, you’ll beg for more.”

Harry’s cheeks felt hot at the praise.

“Now, turn on your stomach, pet.”

Harry made to do it, when a thought startled him. He looked at the two Malfoys and breathed, “No.”

Malfoy’s eyebrows knitted together and Harry's went on. “No, I want to see it.”

At this, the eyebrows of both Malfoys rose to their hairlines. “Potter… it will be more painful like that.”

Harry didn't reply. If he had to be penetrated by two Malfoys, he wanted to see the show.

“Okay then. It's your birthday after all.”

Malfoy laid down on the bed next to Harry and pulled him to straddle his lap, never taking off his eyes from Harry’s face. He brought a hand behind his neck and drew Harry closer, whispering to his ear, “Tell me if it's too much.”

Harry’s heart leaped in his chest at the words. He didn’t remind Harry of the safe word, didn’t remark his Dom position or gave him an order. He simply asked to be alerted if Harry’d be uncomfortable, with fondness in his voice.

Harry grinned at him as the second Malfoy positioned himself behind him and aligned his cock to Harry’s hole, slipping in easily again, a groan escaping him.

He carefully started to stretch Harry around his cock with his fingers, inserting one and then two and then — just when Harry was sure nothing else would have fitted in — he added a third finger, as the Malfoy under himself pulled him in a kiss, distracting him just enough, sliding a hand down between their bodies to grasp his cock and Harry could feel it slowly thrusting in along the second’s. He broke the kiss, gasping for air.

Trying to stay calm, Harry gripped the blanket at the sides of Malfoy’s head, shutting his eyes, biting on his lips until they bled, sure it wouldn't have been possible to take two and that they’d break him. Malfoy kept whispering praises and encouragements at his ear, until he felt both of them inside himself, stilling to give him time to settle.

He opened his eyes again, his sense burning for the presence of two Malfoys inside of him. He looked down at his Malfoy, eyes half closed, and then turned his head to peek at the second Malfoy behind him, his sight full of those plump lips and for a moment, Harry thought of being in heaven, a heaven of porcelain skin that seemed endless and grey reassuring eyes.

He inhaled deeply, now able to feel the pleasure over the pain and let out a little moan that seemed to reinforce the two Malfoy’s, who started fucking Harry in earnest.

It mustn’t have lasted for long, with Malfoy over-sensitised by their previous activities, but by the time the two Malfoys cried, “Fuck, yes, Harry” and came into Harry’s arse, Harry was enough aroused to come again, the feeling of their orgasms enhancing his own, his fist pumping quickly on his cock, a moan, “gods, Draco,” escaping his lips.

—---

Harry woke up with a start, every inch of his body aching and a pounding headache.

All the memories from the previous night came back in a rush, making Harry's heart pump quickly.

Of course, that’s why his back and arse were hurting so badly. But all in all, Harry knew he had never experienced a pleasure so intense before.

Malfoy was completely crazy and exhausting, but he always knew how to please him. Again, all the memories of the care Malfoy had used to clean and make Harry comfortable after giving him his ‘gift’, invaded his mind, leaving back a warm feeling.

He sighed and turned his head, finding an empty bed — Malfoy went back home, as per usual. He scratched his eyes and extended an arm to grab his glasses on the nightstand, finding a note next to them.

He grabbed both, shoved his glasses on and read the note:

“First off, come down, breakfast’s ready. Second, it’s day 681 and we’re still fucking. Or maybe more?”

Harry smiled and jumped sat on the bed. He couldn’t wait to go meet Draco downstairs.

--

Link to AO3. ❤️

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 7

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 181: Typing on day 182. I received an email from someone at DSM who had got my CV from Helen Proctor (she was the manager that interviewed me along with the founder) and wants me to interview for a IT business consultant role for a shoe firm (Loakes) in Kettering. I called the chap and had a quick chat and arranged it for Wednesday.

A few beers, as it’s Friday, and caught up via video chat with Foggy and Irish Mike (Foggy’s on quarantine having holidayed in the south of France). It was a late one and they were both pissed, but nice to chat. Andy and Ham were meant to join but were no shows - Ham had his sister’s funeral this week - might explain it.

Day 182: I messaged Ham - he went round his folk’s house after work last night as his two sisters were there. I have to admit, I am ignorant of all of Ham’s brothers and Sisters so he may well have meant one was Preaya in an urn.

Someone on the Oundle Chatter FB group asked about Google Hangouts (on behalf of her son who is attending college and they have online classes using it. I am now about to look into it for her. Why did I get involved. It’s 8pm on a Saturday, ffs!

Update, I researched it and messaged her - seems I hit a nail on the head and she seemed suitably grateful. Booze and pizza coming right up (at 9:15pm)

Day 183: Up at just before 2pm - I drank shed loads last night and went to bed after 4am. Faffed about but did manage my stair climb, a 10km walk and I am now making a roast dinner-ish tea (chicken breast stuffed with red leicester and wrapped in bacon) with all the veg and yorkies (I am trying to empty the freezer as it needs defrosting).

Day 184: I posted on FB that today was half a leap year of lockdown (that’s wrong, should have been yesterday). Rachel replied that it isn’t lockdown anymore. I replied that it is for me but that got me thinking - are we officially in lockdown still? Checked, and we are. Posted that on the same thread and Badger replied that the current level of lockdown has been uprated to level 4, whatever that actually means. Rachel’s post worries me - 1. ‘cos it’s indictative of the far-too-relaxed attitude and, 2. I wasn’t even sure even though I’m still observing the same lockdown behaviour that I was before Boris made his announce on March 23rd. Scary how facts bleed into fiction. 

Jim contacted me today, asked me to call. I did so, he says I’ll be asked to return to work (from home) on the 5th October (two weeks). Shirley from HR will be in contact. I’ll believe when I see the email from her! 

Day 185: Boris announced a tightening of the relaxed lockdown including pubs shutting at 10pm. None of it really affects me since I’m still in as full a lockdown as when it started.

Received an email from John Morton at DSM for an interview at Loakes tomorrow (Wed) at 09:30am.

Received a Facebook message from the editor at Oundle Chronicle - he wants to do a short article about the photos I take and post on the Oundle Chatter fb group.

Day 186: Interview went ok.

Called Dad and Rita to let them know that I received an email from RCI confirming that I will be back at work on the 5th of October.

In the evening, Facebook had posts concerning somebody walking round Creed Road with a knife in his hand, and the police getting involved!

Day 187: Spend spend spend. Paid my speeding fine today £357, my water bill £147, bought two new duvet cover sets and two new sheets £58, a new pair of walking boots (my relatively new Hi-Tec are leaking and falling apart) £75. Oh, and the car insurance renews day after tomorrow, £230. Thank fucking fuck I’m being taken off furlough!

Day 188: Friday and I’m going to have a few beers and watch a couple of films.  I’ve been trawling through Seinfeld and am most the way through S3, and it’s brilliant. The Kramer character is mentally good. One episode had the actress who played Janice in Friends - that episode is a classic - which also included an scene whereby the cast are all exclaiming ‘Saturday night’ similar to the Friends TikTok trend. Got a call this morning about a service delivery lead role for EPM, a education service provider, based in Huntingdon. It’s a good role, very involved, reporting directly to the head of IT. But it’s only £32k pa. I replied to the email the recruiter subsequently sent to say I am interested but that salary is less than £5k pa than I am on now as a 2nd line support techie!  Lastly, I am well on my way to doing 500,000 steps in September!

Day 189: I was woken by the doorbell - a delivery of one of the duvet cover sets. On the door mat was a missed parcel delivery note from Ryal Mail (I have to get whatever it is from Warmington PO) and a note from next door (No. 34) asking for me to turn my music down at 10.30pm. That’s fair enough but....10.30pm! What are they, 80 years old? I have felt low today. There is no rhyme nor reason as to my moods suffice to say I am not of the happiest dispostion on a permanent basis, resigned to being alone. In fact, I have come to terms with the fact I’ll die alone but, it seems, some days I cope with it a lot worse than others. On that cheery note, it’s 8.45 pm on a Saturday night so, I am about to launch into some beers, weed and pizza. I think tonight I’ll seek out the second John Wick film - watch the first last night - so fucking good. You gotta love Keanu!

Day 190: Hopefully the last Sunday of having an enforced no-work-on-Monday so I’m going to have a beer or two (it’s now 8:20pm - just cracked open a Bud), watch American Sniper and eat Chilli and naan bread and onion rings. I did a 12 km walk today - I recall a time when 40-45 minuts walking was enough. Today’s walk was 2 hours! I know it’s only walking but I feel fitter than I have for years; still unfit, but fitter. Day 191: Well, I enjoyed the decadence of boozing last night but it meant getting up at after midday! Still managed two walks, trip to Tesco’s in Hampton after picking up the mystery parcel from Warmington PO. It was two unknown bottles of beer for a marketing campaign I entered a few days ago! I have to not open the beers until I receive instruction whereby I’ll be joining in with other drinkers in video chat! Day 192: Smahed 500k steps for September with one day to go! Cleaned the kitchen - I’m going to do the whole house over the next few days while I have the free time since I’m back to work on Monday.  The lad from next door called round this eveing to ask if I got the note. When I said yes, he told me they (he and his partner) can still hear music. FFS! I asked where their bedroom was, it’s along side mine, so I guess it’s the TV sound that is travelling up and disturbing them. Great, fuck knows what I should do if I want to watch anything after 10:30pm. I suppose going back to work is good timing..I shall be going to bed around that time myself, especially if I want to get up early to get a walk in before starting at 09.00 am.

Day 193: Typing on day 194. Only managed one walk today, before 9.00am. It made a great change walking that early. I then set about doing housework (which I started yesterday) - I want to clean the house from top to bottom before going back to work. i.e. while I have time during the working week. I did the Kitchen yesterday and the whole lounge today. It’s fucking knackering. I managed 519k steps in September, works out at 9.6 miles per day, which is good and, also, annoying. I have taken delivery and laundered all my new bedding. It’s brushed cotton lushness, can’t wait to try it. Last ‘happy hour’ of (this current) furlough, so I had beers (and a fucking spicey sausage casserole)...hence penning this a day late.

Day 194: I didn’t get out of bed until nearly 2pm, FFS. Spome with Ricky Roberts about kayaking, it sound sliek something I could take up but, I would need to join the boat club to have somewhere to get in and out!

Day 195: Sueanne from work called to let me know she’s taking over from Jim ‘til new yer and that the team are looking forward to my return - lovely. Dad called, he and Rita are fine as usual - lovely.

Day 196: Got up fater 2pm. I was seriously fucking wasted last night. Had a video chat with Fog - just checked, it ended at 02.04am and I did a lot more drinking and smoking after that. I still managed a 9.7km walk and am now going to settle down to a few (just a few!) beers, shepherds pie and watch Casino. Day 197: Quiet Sunday with some bizarre results in Super Sunday in the prem. Man U lost at home to Spurs 1-6 and Liverpool were thrashed at Villa Park, 7-2. Work tomorrow, feeling a little apprehensive, not sure why. Got to go to the office (to reset password) at 09.00am

Day 198: Back to work. It went OK. I had to go to the office so that my a/c could be enabled and password reset and t get VPN working. There were a few problems but I was back home and logged in OK in the afternoon. Saw Mark in the office - he’s lost weight and was telling me about a cycling accident - I knew about it, but I didn’t realise he had been in hospital and had a plate put in his shoulder. He also has the exact same issue with codeine as me! I am pleased to be back at work but it’s different - no Jim and Sueanne in charge is the main thing. I’m just going to keep my head down; it’ll be for the best.

Day 199: Second day back at work and I’m (trying to) crack on with it. It’s all coming back... New walking boots arrived today (I have them on as I type); I reckon I’ll be OK to walk in them with no breaking in. That’s just as well as my evening walk took me by the marina and the path between the lock, the small bridge and, especially, the larger bridge into the field at the bottom of Basset Ford Road was flooded, no way my boots will be dry for tomorrow.  I did my stair climb before work, 3.5 km walk at lunchtime and then a long, second one, as mentioned, later. I want to try and do a short walk before work in future, hopefully. On the way back from the lunchtime walk, I saw the lad from next door who thanked for me keeping the music down as per the note he left, so, that’s all good.

Day 200: I’ve started a work diary,  à la ENDC....nowhere as urgently required but I just think it’s a good idea.

I wore my new boots for the lunchtime walk (3.6km) and they’re fine. However, I didn’t use them in the evening, they niggled the left foot a bit, so some breaking in is required. My usual ones were just about dry enough having been sat on the radiator! Day 201: Popped into the office today to pick up my full headset dongle, did a quick shop at Asda. So, only one walk today. I have not yet managed to get a walk in before work, just the stair climb, so missed out on a lunchtime walk today since I was shopping. Did 8.5km in the evening. Bought a card online for K’s birthday. Not sure why, we seem not to be communicating - I haven’t heard from her for over a month now which, as mentioned before, I shouldn’t find as hard as I do. The card’s pretty cool though, a quip about just getting a card as a present would involve non-essential travel. Now I am back at work, I want a to do loist app. I recall a smart one that was a linear/curved affair that I saw on Producthunt but, fuck me, I couldn’t find it after over an hour looking. Then I checked Google apps and there it was (Lightpad.ai) - I was chuffed and relieved. The lad from oundle School has been trying to get hold of me via Messenger (he tells me by email) so he can interview for the article in the Chronicle. He has pencilled in Saturday at 6pm.Fuck knows if it will go ahead, the whole thing is sketchy. Day 202: First week back at work over and done. I ordered some stuff from Amazon (slippers and socks) and they offered a free trial of Prime, which is the norm, but, seeing as I have had a free trial under that a/c, I assumed it would error, as I have seen before. This time it didn’t! So, tonight, I just about to have some beers, eat pizza and watch The Gentlemen,. It was suggested by Miles on FB when I asked for  recommendations. It’s been on my to-watch list since its release. I need some cheering up, I’m having a low ebb today.Day 203: Typing on day 204. The Gentlemen was pretty good. I had lots of beers and smoke and went to bed fucking late, gone 4am. Up at lunchtime. I was meant to be going up Foggy’s for a few beers and to listen to Cobblers vs Posh but I sacked that off. I went for a walk at tea time when it got dark fucking quick and pissed down. I didn’t mind ‘cos Posh won 0-2. I watched two films in the evening: Master and Commander: Far Side of the World and Official Secrets. Both excellent. Day 204: Another late night, so up at just before 2pm. 12.64 km walk! I’m going to make stirfry and watch Knives Out...taking advantage of Amazon Prime.Day 205: I didn’t watch Knives Out last night, Amazon Prime was playing up. Tonight, however, after uninstalling and reinstalling the LG app, it’s working again. But, rather than a film, I have started watching The Boys series. 3/4 through the first episode and I’m kinda hooked. Another long walk tonight (I didn’t go out before work or at lunchtime), over 5 miles. My new boots are a marvel...they’re still new - I can tell I’ve got a little bit of wearing in still to do, but, pretty much from the off, I can walk long distances in them. I’m impressed. I think, because they are so light, they may be susceptible to the cold, especially now I can walk for longer periods without hypo-ing. The snow and frost will be the test.Day 206: Bit of a frustrating day at work. I am pleased I have a diary of events to update, that’s all I will say on this potentially public diary. Had a chat with Mark about certain aspects of the day, it was a good chat whereby he agreed with some of my gripes. In the evening I took part in a Ipsos marketing test of two beers with a whole bunch of people online. Ultimately, you have to choose one of two beers you prefer and answer questions why. It’s then revelaed which beer you chose. The beer I iked best was Stella but 4.6%, I think that’s the next product iine for them. You don’t get to find out the other beer. I shoudl recieve a £15 amazon voucher for partaking. If that actually happens, I’m going to buy a pair of gaiters. My new boots are fab (although I did turn my ankle last night) but their insides don’t half attract gravel and debris.Day 207: A productive day incorporating ToDoist with work and GCal, I have sacked off Lightpad.ai (it was too cumbersome moving tasks between dates) - so I managed to tick a few things off the task list as a result (responding to Jo Broom’s voicemail, chasing an eye appointmen, for example). Tim came round and did the garden, nice chinwag. I saw little Derek the other day, as well, he’s not coping great with the whole pandemic atm, certainly now lockdown has relaxed, he’s not as social as before. Day 208: Had a chat with Sueanne today, which is not unusal, and I was asking about creating KBs...she remarked how well, and quickly, I getting up to speed. It pleased me. I am having battered fishcakes, potato wedges and peas for tea. I am looking forward to it the most ridiculous amount (it’s cooking as I type). I shall eat as I watch more of the rather excellent The Boys. Seinfeld is on the back burner atm. Day 209: Emily Folgate’s room mate at uni has tested positive for Covid19! Marc’s avoiding the pub and I am glad I didn’t pop up there last Saturday! Bumped into Ash and Dee when i walked past the vets, chatted for 5 mins, it was really nice to see them. The lady next door (38) stopped me outside to say she recently realised that it was me who posts photos to FB, and said they’re ‘amazing’! End of week 2 back at work. As I type, I’m on my first beer, about to have many more and a smoke, half way through The Trial of the Chicago 7 on Netflix. Living the dream! Day 210: Things got messy last night. Sugar levels were a mess. I couldn’t even make it upstairs at one point, laid down on the long rug nursing a big bottle of coke. Got up at around 1pm and did usual shit, now having a beer, spicy sausage casserole in the oven (and it is fucking spicy) and I’ll pick a film to watch in a bit. Posh won, 2-0 at home to Oxford, up to 4th, one point behind Lincoln.

[elizabethplaid]

thursday thoughts - feb 27, 2020

Pretty sure that even the recent short-term goals for myself are still more ambitious than I am capable of performing now. But! I’m trying to adapt them, rather than give up. (Discussion for that is under the cut.)

Looking back at my daily notes has helped me put things in perspective. I’ve accomplished a lot more than usual in the last 2 weeks - even just the last week! And I still have a bit more to do, to prepare for counseling on Tuesday.

------------- Instead of the big-city food restock, we might try the closer Walmart and Dairy Queen. (We were gonna do the big stores in Bangor and a new-to-us sit-down restaurant.) Tonight’s fatigue is making me rethink even that. So a quick run to the nicer grocery store, hit their salad bar (as our “Junk Food Friday” plans), and come home. And if we just stay local, I could do that on the same day as counseling. (I don’t want to leave doll stuff in the car for too long.) Yay for options.

Budget may restrict our grocery shopping anyway. There’s something going on with dad’s truck, and dad’s doing taxes. We need soda and TP and maybe a few other things, so we can survive til the next payday(s). ----------

As a note to myself, I’d like to discuss what I’ve accomplished lately. If I don’t note it here, it’s harder for me to remember.

Wednesday Feb 19th (the day after counseling) -

Washed dolls and MLP

including some of the baby dolls, who will leave on Tuesday

washed and folded laundry

experimentally cleaned baby blankets; long soaking helps

had a cathartic cry, explaining some mental health stuff to my dad

Friday Feb 21st -

Finished laundry, though I didn’t take it upstairs

Washed sheets and remade my bed

Saturday Feb 22nd -

Took a long shower, changed out of pajamas, and wore lots of jewelry

Went out to eat with a large group, mostly strangers

Lots of sensory overload, but I had plush toys to hold and calm myself

Helped our team win 3rd place for trivia night, and a $10 gift certificate

Got wrapped up in the trivia. Dad had to remind me to eat.

Dad said they now consider me a trivia hero and want me to return

And I’m totally excited about that, too

Sunday/Monday Feb 23rd/24th -

Finished sewing Neighbor-G’s pincushion ring

Was almost overly-ambitious with crafts, but I calmed myself down

Wednesday Feb 26th -

Wrote the list of short-term goals

Moved laywer’s bookcase into hallway

Filled it with Beanie Babies, adding ribbons to them

Finished off 3 rolls of ribbons

Thursday Feb 27th (this post)

Adjusted the short-term goals, with options

Compiled this list of accomplishments, which is also an accomplishment, further lengthening the list.

There are other things accomplished on other days that I forgot to note. I’m better at helping put away clean dishes, even if it’s not all at once. I’ve helped to cook a few times.

Even writing (original) posts to tumblr sometimes feels like an accomplishment. Like I said to a friend recently, I go into hiding and silence when I feel at my worst. If I’m here, even just to say “hi, still alive”, that means I’m mostly okay. That’s how this “daily notes” series got started.

Part of me remembers how handy daily writing was, back when I had LiveJournal. There’s a post circulating about how we’re nostalgic for what we had at that time - the community, more than just the platform. It’s both for me, but also that the words were “near the surface”, easy to spill out. I’d say more, but the tap is dry now.

[morallygreyprompts]

Bad Things Happen Bingo Continuation #21

Bloodstained clothes

Previous Post: here

Super speedy, be aware my inbox is at 23. I have prompts planned until the 23rd of April, so just go easy on my inbox for a week or two please til I get some of these written up and queued. College is being a pain too so I don’t have much time to get on top of things ^^’

For a moment, neither Hero or Villain moved. Hero didn't want to take the pressure off Vigilante's wounds. The terrible rattle to their breathing was a massive cause for concern. How long did Vigilante have? They hoped Sidekick came back quickly. Hero was in no state to fight and Villain knew it. Even kneeling over Vigilante’s body had their head swimming in an overwhelming current. Push on the wound, push, push.

“While you're… occupied,” Villain said, “I want to make something very clear.”

Hero flinched as Villain brought the knife up to their shoulder, the tip pressing into the skin, not quite drawing blood. Resisting the instinct to fight Villain away wasn't easy. Likely concussion didn't help Hero very much and all they could do was keep their attention on the blood slipping through their fingers. Their pulse pounded in the ears like a drum and Hero was struggling to concentrate. Their heartbeat was racing like a frightened rabbit’s. All they wanted to do was curl into a ball and sleep.

“Are you listening?” Villain purred, their expression carried false intrigue and their eyes pierced them with unspoken threats. Hero glared back, looking up into Villain’s shadowed face. Their heart seemed to beat a little faster. How easy it would be for Villain to kill them, one single movement and they’d be finished. The blade drifted towards Hero's chin, raising their head, but it didn't stop Hero from trying to help Vigilante. Villain tried to raise their head up more, make them loosen their grip, but Hero only winced and let it cut into their chin. Push, push!

“Ever the selfless hero,” Villain observed. “But these are my streets and this city is no place for heroes. People can get really hurt.” Villain looked down to Vigilante's weak form, the shallowness in their chest their rasping breaths. “I won't warn you again, [Hero]. Next time I'll just kill you. Stick to helping people across the roads. This city doesn’t need you.”

Hero snarled and leaned back to get away from the blade. They reminded themselves to keep pressing down again. “Firstly, get that knife away from my face before I shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Second,  you are scum- and you don't get to tell me what to do.”

“Bold words for someone swaying back forth like a reed.” Villain's hand shot forward and seized Hero by the hair, with the knife in the other hand. But even then, Hero didn't move their hands, they pushed down despite the pain it caused them. Push, push.

“Get lost,” Hero ground out. The stinging of the tugging on their scalp was off-putting, but they didn't dare stop pushing. Vigilante was getting weaker under their grip.

Villain smirked. “Tough little egg, aren't you?”

“[Hero]?!” Sidekick bellowed. Villain let go of Hero and stepped back.

“Heed my warning, little hero. I'd hate for something to happen to your little friends.” In a swift motion, they swung the blade at Hero’s face, marking their cheek.

Villain took off at a hastened walk, “Follow me and you’ll die,” they called behind them casually. Sidekick glared at them, desperate to throw a brick at their head, but their priority had to be taking care of Vigilante. Hero relaxed muscled they hadn’t realised they’d tensed.

“Ambulance is on its way,” Sidekick said. Hero barely heard them. Push, push, push. The words repeated themselves like a mantra.

“Here,” Sidekick said gently, putting a hand on top of Hero’s bloodied shaking one. “I’ve got them. I. I can look after this. You should sit back against a wall. You look even worse than when I left you.”

[doomednarrative]

2018: A (Personal) Year in Review

I put off writing in general so much, but I’ve put off this particular post long enough. 

And no, this isn’t about the general world or the country. It’s about my personal life, and it’s mainly a vent/personal rambling post, so I’ll put under a read more. If you don’t care to read it, that’s totally fine. 

But anyways. Here we go: 

2018 was...a fuckin ride, to put it in simplest terms. 

For those who are new and unaware, lemme briefly bring you up to speed about the end of 2017 for me, cause it’s important to the context of this entire thing:

December 17th of 2017, when I was on my third day home for Christmas break from college, I packed a backpack, and I left my dad and stepmom’s house for good. 

Their house had been abusive for years, and my mental health was in the absolute tank in college. I was feeling casually suicidal and had a full on breakdown about having to come home for winter break. After a fight I got into that night with my stepmom after she found me texting some friends on Discord (which I wasn’t supposed to have, even tho I was almost 19 and an adult at the time,) she got Pissed, and so did I. I had finally had a group of friends who supported me and helped me out so much, and I didn’t want to loose them. And I couldn’t stand the abuse, the treatment of me like I was a child with no privacy or personal autonomy, the constant pushing for me to date my one long time friend and to be straight, or my parent’s inability to accept me as their son and not their daughter any longer. 

I was given a choice, and told if I decided to leave, I wasn’t welcome back. A few months before, my best friend had said that their parents had a safe space for me to go if I ever needed it. They had been aware of how bad some things had been with my parents and feared for the worst, so they offered me a home if it came down to that. And that night, it came down to that choice. 

I packed one backpack of stuff I was allowed to bring (solely because it was stuff I bought) and I walked to my friends mom’s house, and by the next morning, I was at her dad’s house, safe and sound. 

2018 became the year of learning how to be an adult in a house that treated me as one, and in a house that didn’t put my personal safety and mental health in danger. 

2018 was...well, it was simultaneously the worst and best year of my life. 

Early on, I could tell my parents weren’t going to let my off easy for leaving. My mom wasn’t a problem, she had been out of my life for almost two years at that point, and hadn’t attempted to make contact with me for a long time. 

But my dad and my stepmom? Oh, they were determined to make my life as bas as they could while not being physically around me. 

First thing they did? They tried to take all of my possessions from my dorm at college without my knowledge, because they thought that They owned that stuff. I only found this out because I called the college to formally drop out and ask when I could pick up my stuff, and they informed me my parents were already planning on picking up my stuff for me. 

Me and my now adoptive parents ended up making an impromptu trip, four hours up and four hours back, that night to my college campus to make sure that I could get my possessions before they could. And we were successful.

Next thing my dad did to screw me over after moving out? 

That bastard stole about 700$ from a joint bank account I had with him to use for college. That was money I earned from about 7 months of work at my summer food truck job. And he took it because he legally could since it was a joint account, and didn’t tell me. i found out when I went into the bank to withdraw that money and open a separate account. 

So I was starting off the year with already some setbacks. 

Thankfully, I Was able to replace my birth certificate and social security card relatively easily, so that was in my favor at least. 

Then, come my birthday on January 26 last year, I got a letter. Two letters to be specific. One from my stepmom, and one from my dad. 

Both were full of manipulation and guilt tripping language and just. Gaslighting and more emotional abuse. They had somehow gotten my address from when I had set up my separate bank account and changed my information in the bank system.  And they decided to send me abusive shit as a birthday present. 

I’m not gonna lie, it hurt a lot. 

They continued to try to do stuff like that. They called me multiple times from different numbers, they called police on my adoptive family to say that I was crazy and that my parents were like. concerned for my safety because i had blocked their phone numbers after the first two phone calls. They texted me from different numbers, just. A lot of different bullshit. 

February was the first time I saw my dad since leaving. I had gone to a screening of Love Simon, as it was really important to me, and somehow thru some stalkery methods, he knew i was there and he confronted me in the theater lobby after the film. (When I asked how he found me there, his answer was ‘I have my ways.’ I never posted about this encounter when it originally happened.)

He proceeded to be transphobic to me in public, demeaning me and humiliating me in front of everyone in the theater, told me I was the reason my siblings were now in therapy (which is a lie, my brother was already in therapy for anxiety long before I left), calling me crazy, telling my adoptive mother that I “needed help” and that “she’ll outstay her welcome.” He said a lot of awful things, and eventually I left the theatre in tears after screaming at him that I was his son and that this shit was why I left in the first place, and that he should go fuck himself.

Thankfully, I didn’t see him for months afterword, not til october, right before I left my retail job that he and my stepmom found out I worked at. I saw my stepmom three times at that job, once with my siblings (which is the only time I’ve seen them since leaving and that was. Very hard to deal with and a very emotional time), and twice without my siblings. The times she came without them, she was an absolute fucking asshole to me, still spewing her abusive rhetoric about how I was in the wrong for leaving, and how my father did nothing wrong when he saw me in February. 

She and my father only left me alone after I told them that I would not get into an argument while I was on the clock, and that if they didn’t leave I’d call the store security guard. 

After that, they haven’t done anything else. Yet. We’ll see what 2019 holds. 

But, aside from the bullshit with my parents, 2018 had its other ups and downs. More ups than downs, but it still had it’s rough moments. 

I got a job in early May as a sales associate/cashier/fitting room attendant for a well known Coat Factory chain store. 

That job was pure fuckin hell, and I’m glad I don’t work there anymore. The last week that I was supposed to work there before leaving for my new job, I got pulled into the side office by the manager on duty (she wasn’t an actual manager, she just had closing priviledges) and she Screamed at me about how a customer complained about me, she hated me, my coworkers all hated me, all three of my managers hated me, and how she was tired of my attitude and how she couldn’t wait til I was fuckin gone. The whole issue that night had started because of her and how she couldn’t properly communicate to me where she wanted me to be that night and what duties she wanted me handling. She took out her frusteration at her own mistakes on me, and I had had enough. I stood my ground with her and didn’t let her walk all over me, but I went home that night, bawled for about two hours because being yelled at is a trigger for me, and she had been all in my personal space like she was going to hit me, and then I emailed my general manager the next day and told her she could replace me for my last two shifts and I wouldn’t be coming in for them. 

I haven’t stepped foot in that goddamned store since I left that night. 

I have a different job now. I work as an overnight personal care assistant at a nursing home, but it’s a higher end one, and it’s not bad. It can be stressful and super draining at times, but enviornmentally its a better job than the retail one ever was, so it’s good. 

My mental health has been a wild ride as well. I won’t get into the full details here, but let just say that uh. I’m 99% sure that I’m both ADHD and autistic, and I’m thinking I have some form of ptsd as well from years of trauma shit. I’m not suicidal anymore, but I have bouts of depression and anxiety and sometimes anger that last for days to weeks at a time. It’s...rough, to say the least. And dysphoria doesn’t help any of that. 

But I’m alive and fighting, and that’s the important part. 

Not everything this year has been bad tho. There’s been a fair amount of good too, and I’m greatful for it. 

December 23rd I celebrated my first year aniversary with @curious-corvids, and i couldn’t be happier about that. He’s been there thru this Entire ride, and he’s been such a positive force in my life, and I hope to keep him around for years to come. 

Similarly, March 18th this year will be my one year aniversary with @sinclair-solutions, and that I’m immensely happy about as well. They’re such a wonderful person and just. i’m very lucky to have them, I really am. they’ve also been here thru everything, and I could never thank then enough for that. 

I made some friends in the past few months that I can’t imagine what my days would be like without them in it. Kathy, Jay, Fi, and Evan are such great people, and I’m lucky to have them around. 

I got the chance to meet Ren, Lu and Erin in person for the first time at DragonCon, and went to both my first comic convention and my first out of state trip alone with them, and it was honestly the best five days of my life. I can’t wait to do that again with them this year. 

I’ve been steadily improving at art this year and took commissions for the first time, and that’s been a very fun thing to do. 

I’m actually able to like. Afford to buy things for myself and spend my money without interferance, and thats such a change from how my parents used to control my finances. 

Overall 2018 was just..a wild ride. 

2019 is sure to bring better things. With luck this month, I should be starting the process of legally changing my name, and that will be a very freeing thing to do. 

I turn 20 on January 26th, and just. 

I didn’t think I’d actually make it to 20. That’s a personal milestone for me, to have made it this far. 

Whatever this new year brings tho, here’s to hoping it goes better than 2018. 

Here’s to hoping I’m better this year than I was last year. 

[danideservedbetter]

Day 226

As determined as I was to not be stressed before school starts, life literally had to do just one more gotcha and now like. I’m just. Idk.

You guys may (or may not I’m not judging) have noticed that I didn’t post yesterday!! That is because my pharmacy once again screwed up my prescriptions so I was totally out of my work meds for like two days!!! Which is not what I needed the weekend before I start school back after a three year break!!!

As if that wasnt enough, remember the train?? The train I was so relieved to take so I didn’t have to rely on myself to drive and that I scheduled my classes around?? It’s out of service!! Til the 23rd!!! OF FEBRUARY!!! But ONLY on the days I need it Bc service remains on schedule during the weekends and during Mardi Gras : )))))

I’m literally just ignoring signs at this point but I’ve lost so much already idk what else I have to offer.

But I’m still going. My overall goal for this week is to resume stretching daily because I’ve been slacking on that. Read more. Stress less. Idk if that’s even an option because wow. It seems like anything that can happen to prevent me or discourage from starting school has or will have happened. Three years I’ve been waiting and have been told no at every step and here I am sacrificing so much and idk if it’s even meant for me to go. You wouldn’t think so with all this stuff that’s happened.

Idk how I’m going to do it. I can’t be stressed out every day. I already know it’s not sustainable for a healthy person, let alone for me. School is supposed to be an escape but now having to drive every day I don’t know if I can trust myself to even find the motivation to get up and do it for three hours every day. I know I’m whining, plenty of people have it worse, but it angers me so much that it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I was making every precaution to ensure that even if something went wrong I could make it but now I just. Dont know.

All I can do is try. I have one more day to pull it together. It’s not enough.

Itll have to do.

[skatingmadwoman]

Lacey Baker vs. Nyjah Huston NikeSB

When I first wrote this, I was furious. I gave myself a few weeks of thought to see if I felt any different, and I didn’t. This post is purely my opinion, come talk to me if you have any thoughts on it as well!

Lacey Baker’s NikeSB video part for her Bruin Hi pro shoe came out on February 23rd, and Nyjah Huston’s ‘Til Death part for his pro shoe came out February 27th. In my opinion both parts are incredible for so many different reasons. Lacey has the technical style, and the fight for equality and inclusiveness. Nyjah is a master of skating rails and has his pure vision in the movie-like part. But, what has bothered me so much that I feel like I need to write this? It’s the radical online feedback between both. When I scrolled down to the comments on Lacey’s video, it honestly made me sick. Comments like, “Stfu with the equality bullsh*t in the description”, “This guy sucks”, and “these tricks were relevant in like 1995”.

Photo: Sam McGuire

Nyjah’s comments were more positive, although there are negative comments on his, they were more about the music choice? His positive comments were like “The best skateboarder”, and “I almost cried”. I know what you are thinking, why are you getting heated over YouTube comments? Because it’s not only on YouTube, it’s on Instagram, Facebook, and so many other sites. No matter what Lacey or any other woman skater does, there are always those comments yelling about how they or any other pro skater are much better than the women, and they deserve the sponsorship more than the women. If you are so mad about women skaters not being on the same skill level as men, maybe you should have let them start joining pro teams sooner. Give them pro boards when they are ten to keep them progressing. Let women be able to compete in Street League in the first place instead of adding their section FOUR YEARS ago! If women skaters had the support that men have had the whole time, then there would be that equality. Lacey wouldn’t have to be fighting for equality in 2018 if there had ever been that constant support. Maybe the haters would be sponsored like the women if they didn’t have such horrible attitudes. Skating comes from punk culture, a culture of misfits who don’t fit in. How dare you make women the outcasts of an already outcast culture?

Photo: Twitter

Both are great skaters, but Nyjah is nowhere near my favorite. You want to know why? I absolutely cannot relate to Nyjah. He has the star status. He lives in Cali, in a mansion, owns more cars than I ever will, and has his own skate warehouse. Lacey on the other hand, is a queer skater, living on the east coast in a New York apartment. I can see myself in Lacey’s shoes. I cannot see myself in Nyjah’s. And it’s fine if you can’t see yourself in Lacey, you don’t have to, you just need to respect that other people do. Both Lacey and Nyjah are Street League winners, they have both proven themselves to the world that they can skate on that level, so they both need the hype for them to keep up the good work. I will always stand by saying that skating is for everyone, no matter your gender, race, age, sexuality, skill level, or any of it. If you are having fun, you deserve it. It’s time that the industry and its followers start thinking the same. Below are links to both parts so you can form your own opinion.

Lacey Baker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RvKpAOaTv4

Nyjah Huston: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBgbBrxj2to

[grimmmemoirs]

I present to you: Grumpy Mall Santa Gaston!

This is a late Christmas thing for you all to enjoy. I got the idea on the 23rd when watching the tavern scene from BATB. Gaston’s chair and red clothes reminded me of a dude working as a mall Santa and it just stuck with me. Unfortunately because of the busy holiday season, I didn’t have time to edit this so that it could be semi-ready for Christmas day oops.

I was planning on adding another character or two in, so hopefully I’ll be posting that within the next couple of days. :) Til then, enjoy the festive grumpiness and have a Merry (late) Christmas!

[bangcakes]

I was tagged by @youngksnose & @snqjin. thanks for tagging me !!!!!

Rules: answer the questions, then tag bloggers that you want to get to know better!

nicknames: manda and others that iiiiiiiiiii hate

height: 170cm / 5′7

birthday: june 23rd

star sign: cancer

orientation: straight  

favorite fruit: raspberries

favorite season: spring

favorite flower: roses

favorite scent: campfiressssss

favorite color: green !!!!!!!

favorite animal: toads :p

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: tea

average sleep hours: 6-8........ sometimes 4 lmao

dog or cat person: cat person

favorite fictional character: sunako nakahara (the wallflower)

luck numbers: 13

hobbies: makin shit on my computer, blogging, number fill ins, sudoku, reading, colouring lmaooooooo

what I’m wearing rn: jfc....................... a grinch pajama shirt and ninja turtle pajama pants lmaooooooo what a goddamn mess !!!! i didn’t realize just what i was wearing til i wrote it out just now lmaoo god..........

dream job: behaviour analyst. i could be one in a few years so that’s exctinggggggg

favorite food: noodlesssss

dream trip: canada (parts i haven’t been to like pei)

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

favorite bands: day6, paramore...... kinda lost track of a lot of the ones i used to listen to oops

favorite solo artist in kpop: daesung !!

song stuck in my head: crush - 2ne1

last movie i watched: stealing beauty

blog created: sometime in 2013 but didn’t use it much until 2016 when i got into kpop lmao

number of followers: 485 which is way too many imo lmao. i don’t like having a lot of followers tbh lmao. been there done that never again adskgjaldskfj.

i post: where tf do i start......... kpop (mostly day6 these days lmao), aesthetics, postive things.... funny things.... anything that i see and i’m like W A N T essentially lmao.

why did I choose my url: b/c sungjin is such a cute lil sunshine when he smiles !!

random fact: i used to lift up rocks and look for bugs when i was little lmao

I’ll tag: anyone who wants to do this :p

[mydailybullshit]

October 23rd 2020

It took me a while to go to bed after last night's post but eventually I did. I woke up to a random message and immediately flipped my phone facedown which turns it into Do Not Disturb mode. Woke up again around 10 ish and just laid in bed til I felt ready to tackle the day since I really didn’t need to do much. Finished watching Skyfall and started part of Spectre to continue my Daniel Craig 007 marathon. As I was about to go grab some lunch I decided to call my cousin Daniel, who just got off of work at the same time that I called him. He mentioned that he was still going to the shooting range for golf. Told him that I would be there in 40 after I gathered my clothes and got ready. I had also agreed to go to my nephew Anthony’s house to help him with his computer since he was having issues downloading a game. Drove over to Auburn CA to play some golf at Home on the Range and had a beer there with my cousin. Then we drove over to Rocklin and met up at the Bass Trap to have my first meal/dinner and a beer there. I enjoyed a tasty Hazy IPA called 5150 with a Sweet Heat BBQ Bacon burger. It was delicious and filling. After all that we said our goodbyes and I drove back to Sacramento. On my way to Sac I was craving a bit of booger sugar so I hit up the usual suspects. One was out of town and the other was walking their dog. So I drove straight to my sisters house to help my nephew with his computer to kill a bit of time. Helped him with a download and then met up my other contact to pick up a half. At the same time Juan was texting us that both locations that I said to meet up at were packed. It frustrated me a bit because he wasn’t even trying to help and just kept saying it was packed. So I told him to wait there and that we should all still meet up at that location. Picked up my sugar booger. Drove straight to Thai Canteen. I parked and walked up to the restaurant and ordered. Soon after we paid and got our number we found an empty table that I asked them to clean up for us. So yeah just annoying that he was so off putting when he could have made something happen like I did when I arrived. Took a while but Venu and Tapia eventually showed up. Had a few drinks at TC. Then walked over to the University of Beer. Had another hazy IPA, this time a double named Juice with Benefits with a shot of Jameson which we all ended up taking since Venu bought the round for the table. They made fun of my wallet for having a notebook and pencil. That joke ran on for a while. Juan almost fell off his seat. We also flirted with the server Liz. Venu had to leave early because he had to be part of a 36 hour surgery. We ordered another round of shots and headed over back to Thai Canteen to have one more Soju bottle. We called it a night and made our way back to the car. I dropped off Tapia at his car because I thought I might be able to go to Sam’s to hang out. She didn’t answer so I made my way back home. As soon as I got home Ricky called me to see where I was at. We talked a bit but I cut him off and let him know that I needed to wake up early to drop off Ricardo at the airport in SF. This day was pretty good. Got an interview set for Tuesday. Talked to Daniel about hanging out this upcoming Monday and Tuesday. Have my haircut scheduled for Monday. Also Venu asked us to keep Halloween open since his GF will be visiting so I’m going to reschedule the cousin’s camping trip to the following week when my sister wanted to go camping. The worker at the golf range called Daniel’s friend Sall Grunyun which we found hilarious. Also when he came up to introduce himself I guess Daniel had mentioned that his cousin Tido was coming so he already knew my name and when he introduced himself to me he called me The Tido which I absolutely loved. That’s all I can think of as I finish watching Spectre and I guess I’m calling it a night. So goodnight and farewell fellow Bullshiteers!