#but bella used to piss me tf off

[oatmealthighs]

how would yall feel about a vampire!eren series 🤔? kinda like twilight... but less pathetic LMAODODOO

[lapushvibez]

can we have some jealous edward headcanons please?

have a great day!

jealous edward? sign me tf up. lol i hope you enjoyed this small hc list. please request more if you want. <3

We all know this man is SUFFERING from raging jealousy issues. It's less of "I own you" and more like he's depressed thinking of horrible scenarios.

If you have a best friend of the opposite sex he might act bitter around them/when they're mentioned.

He understands you deserve emotional connections and support from other people. You don't have to worry about him keeping you hostage or anything.

Edward will ALWAYS be with you though.. there's nothing strong enough to keep him away from his mate. Unless he needs to hunt.

Since he's gifted with the ability to read minds he can easily find out who's crushing on you and if they have any vulgar thoughts about you. Edward definitely lost his calm demeanor once or twice.

If looks could kill? Oh yeah. Whoever is trying to snatch you away from him would drop dead from his glares. Ice cold. Threatening.

Edward uses physical touch for silent reassurance. He grabs your hand. Squeezes gently. Pulls you closer. Kisses your forehead. Rubs your lower back.

Soft eye contact with you. He honestly looks like a kicked puppy sometimes. He's practically begging you to stay with him. Please take the time to ease his anxiety. He'll appreciate it more than you expect.

Edward's never angry at you whenever he gets jealous. He's pissed at the person who managed to get under his cold skin. The minute he looks at you he softens and asks for permission to hold you.

Remember that scene in eclipse after Jake kissed Bella? Yeah, you'll see that type of outburst at least once. Oops.

The best way to comfort him during these episodes of jealousy is to baby him. Cuddle him. Whisper words of affirmations. Confess your affection and love shamelessly. Although he has a habit of trying to convince you NOT to feel that way, he'll learn to like it and eventually love hearing you talk so highly of him.

It's rare he speaks when jealous. But when he does it's obvious what mood he's in. His words are sharp. Sentences are short. Full of irritation and dominance.

"They're busy with me tonight."

"They're taken."

"I'm their boyfriend."

"They don't want you here." (He has no problem speaking up for you, if that's what you prefer.)

Edward kisses you a little too passionately in front of others. Especially at school in the parking lot. He knows people are staring. He wants everyone to see you're all his and always will be.

If you have an ex bf/gf.. Good luck.

This man will glare at them 24/7. Hates them with a burning passion. Even if the break up was done respectfully. He'll never understand how someone could CHOOSE to leave someone like you.

But at the same time he wants to show you off and he's happy they let you go. Now you're all his.

You're his mate. He's in love and obsessed. Nothing will ever be able to calm his love for you. He loves you loudly and proudly. Extremely protective as well.

[familyfriendlyweed]

late night snaps (quackity x reader)

a/n : before we get into the story, i wanted to thank you all for such support on my first post - i only posted it yesterday, and got a hell lot of likes and reblogs and even gained 23 followers, which is insane for me (or maybe i just don’t know how tumblr works, haha)! anyhow, i’m really happy you guys enjoyed it <3 

 it was 02:37 and you were editing your newest video. you had no idea it would take so long, though! even if you were used to staying up very late, you knew you have to put away your laptop and go get some sleep. 

 saving the video as a draft and shutting your computer off, you started to blindly search for your phone, since your eyes didn’t get used to the darkness yet. finally finding it, you turned it on to set an alarm for the next morning when you suddenly saw a snapchat notification from ten minutes ago. it was from Alex. you curiously unlocked your phone and tapped the little notification to be led straight to snapchat.

idiota : hello mamacita

 your face instantly lit up in a childish smile. you started to type your response eagerly like it wasn’t 2 am and you didn’t have online classes tomorrow. 

 you : why hello there, el señor

 you saw Alex’s silly bitmoji pop up as he started to type.  

 idiota : what is my chica bella doing up so late?

 you giggled, getting comfortable in your bed - this meant a long chatting session on its way.

 you : YOUR chica bella? when did that happen?

 idiota : ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!! >:((((

 you : fine you big baby, i was finishing editing a new video

 idiota : hmm i see, i see

 you : what about you though? u should get some sleep!!! :(((

 Alex’s bitmoji started typing, then stopped for some reason. you lifted your eyebrow at that. then he continued, but it took a while for him to finish.

 idiota : why, i just couldn’t fall asleep when you were on my mind all the time, mi amor

 your cheeks grew red in an instant. you knew you could handle jokes pretty well, but this was quite too much. Alex never got so far as to actually flirt with you.

 you : eh??? what drugs are u on

 idiota : the only drug for me is you mamacita

 you snorted. you had no idea if he was being serious or not, even if the second option was more likely.

 you : literally go to sleep wtf

 idiota : i’d sleep better if you were by my side ;)

 this was enough for you - you felt as if you got one more message like this from him, you’d die from the hotness in your cheeks. setting your phone down, you made your way to the bathroom before bed.

 you came back five minutes later, only to see your phone full of notifications from Alex. your heart was thumping really hard, you weren’t used to this, but you opened snapchat anyway.

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : mamacita, don’t joke w me like that

 idiota : did you really just leave me on read wtf

 idiota : i’m sad come back :(((

 and at last, there was a snap from him. you were quite scared at this point. with a shaking hand, you opened it.

 you laughed so hard that you seriously thought you’ll have a seizure. still laughing, you snapped a selfie with a cute filter on (you really thought you looked horrible at the moment), captioned it with “your chica bella had to take a piss u simp” and sent it to Alex.

 he opened the snap almost imediatelly and started typing afterwards :

 idiota : mamacita!!!! you look hermosa!!!!

 you : that’s because i have a filter on lmaoo

 idiota : mamacita don’t let yourself down, you are so beautiful :((

 you started to text a sarcastic reply, but stopped. for some reason, Alex seemed like he was being truthful. he wasn’t joking around when he called you beautiful, that was too affectionate.

 you : ...really?

 idiota : si, si! <3

 you tugged at your lip in a thinking manner. true, you had feelings for Alex, but you never thought he had something similar to you. or maybe... maybe he was just supporting you as a friend. figuring that was probably it, you texted :

 you : thank you quacker B]] ur also v handsome

 idiota : mamacita likes me!!!!!😍😍😍

 you smiled sadly. Alex was definitely playing around. you got lost in thought for a few moments, thinking about how would he act if he was actually in love with someone. would he, perhaps, be more mature? that would be very weird to look at.

 finally coming back to planet Earth, you looked at your phone only to see that Alex has written a shit ton of messages again :

 idiota : i want to see you, mamacita

 idiota : it’s fine if u don’t want to, you’re probably going to sleep anyway...

 idiota : but maybe let’s meet tomorrow?

 idiota : mamacita?

 idiota : ....

 idiota : i’m coming over <3

 your heart gave a leap of embarassment and surprise. why would he even say that?

 you : wait what

 you : wdym “i’m coming over”

 you : no tf ur not

 you : go to sleep

 idiota : doesn’t mamacita want to see muah???

 you : no, that would be awesome, but you should go to sleep, really :(

 idiota : y/n, i already told you, i can’t sleep when you’re on my mind

 you froze in spot, staring at your screen for what felt like an eternity. did he just call you by your name? you knew he only says it in serious situations. deciding to change your tactic, you started texting seriously :

 you : are you like... for real now?

 you : because i know you call me by my name in serious situations, but maybe it’s only a prank, so just answer me truthfully, okay?

 Alex started typing, it took even longer that before, but at last you saw his message, this time without caps, spammed question/exclamation marks, nothing silly at all :

 idiota : i am serious, y/n. believe me, this is not a prank. i just really wanna see you. 

 your heart skipped a beat or two, your face renewed its redness. you felt as if you were dreaming.

 you : okay... i’m really glad. come over, please

 idiota : thank you so much

 you started pondering in your head - how did this happen? how did this silly conversation turn out like this? 

 but what if Alex texted you because he wanted to come over in the first place? after all, he knew how shitty your sleep schedule was. that would be awesome, you thought, a small smile dancing on your lips.

 you checked the snap map only to see Alex about 100 meters from you. wait... what? 100 METERS??? was Alex near your place the moment he texted you for the first time?

 you jumped up, starting to tidy up your messy room up, only to remember you look like poop at the moment - hair messy, face tired, clothes scrunched. 

 exhaling heavily, you tried to change your appearance quickly - you ran into the bathroom, brushing your hair panickily. then you wrenched the makeup bag open and started to rummage through it trying to find some mascara or something...

 ding ding! 

 you froze, your eyes widened. he was already here, what the hell?!

 you quickly put on some mascara, ran into the hallway while brushing your face with your hands from stress (completely forgetting you have mascara on, somehow) and unlocked the door.

 Alex’s figure was dark, since the lightbulb in the corridor wasn’t working, and it almost gave you a fright. but as soon as he engulfed you in a warm hug, the tension in the pit of your stomach vanished. you hugged him back almost unsurely, but smiling.

 “hello, mamacita”

 you giggled. for some reason, you got the strongest urge to cry. probably from happiness, but it still was confusing to you. nevertheless, tears started running down your cheeks, mixing with mascara, probably making you look like you were going to a halloween dress up party. 

 “hey, why are you crying?” Alex asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

 “i look horrible.” you laughed, wiping your tears away.

 “nooo, why won’t you listen to me? i already told you you’re beautiful.” he said with a cute pout. 

 “alright, alright, i’m very beautiful, let me down now.” you said, noticing that he was still holding you in his arms tightly. 

 “whatever the chica bella says.”

 he put you down.

 “aren’t you going to turn on some light? i feel like i’ve gone blind!” Alex exclaimed jokingly and you giggled.

 “i’m like a bat, i hate much light, sorry. buuuut i could turn on this little lamp.” you said, making your way to your desk and turning on a cute little lamp the shade of warm pink.

 “perfect.” Alex said, eyeing you in light now. you thought he’ll make a comment about your awful mascara-stained face, but he said nothing, just smiling and looking at you in awe, like you were some princess in a ball dress instead of a tired college student in messy shorts, an oversized t-shirt and two different socks, because you couldn’t find a pair of the same ones.

 “perfect.” he repeated, shrugging with a smile on his face, like seeing you was everything he needed.

 you laughed and hugged him, muttering a “thanks for coming”. Alex didn’t hesitate and also hugged you, holding you as close as possible, as if he let go of you, he’d drown and would never come back to be by your side again. 

 little did you know, he felt the exact same way.

[keenzinemugstudent]

So I re-watched Twilight and can I say there's a lot of issues that needs to be said

Bella and Edward are not something that kids or teenagers need to think that's romantic their relationship is not healthy and it's not something that kids need to be thinking it's normal that's not a relationship anyone should be having honestly also I don't like Bella the minute she knew that Edward was watching her sleep can you say creepy!? And how she get a big ass paper cut by opening a gift? Then her boyfriend just throws her to the wall making her bleed even more great idiot! Than he left her in the fucking woods! You could have just broken up with her in her house why did you have to take her so far in the woods just to break off your relationship??

Mouths go than she goes to see jake this poor kid she was just using Jacob just to put herself in danger just so she can see Edwards ghost or whatever and then she started having feelings for him which I was happy about cause bitch getting over her ex but then Edwards life in danger she leaves to save him come back and just dropped Jacob after telling him that she loves him that's honestly fucked up bro in the fact I noticed that when she's with Jacob like she's happier like she shows more emotion when she's with Edward she just looks sad? She shows emotion but she doesn't show it as much as when she's with Jacob.

Also when Edward did not tell Bella about his family and the pack chasing Victoria honestly I would have been pissed off because she's here trying to kill me so I deserve to know what the hell is going on I don't want to be out of town for my safety you better tell me what the hell's going on so I can know everyone's fine don't keep secrets Edward you brought her into your world don't hide any damn secrets now! I like Leah Clearwater I feel bad for her because not only did Sam imprint on her cousin but now she's a wolf and she's forced to be with them and see them be all lovey-dovey like wow that's gotta hurt, also Seth is so sweet!

Imprinting uh I didn't have an issue with it till I found out they can imprint on kids...wtf? They say it can be brother or guardian or lover but then I found out that Quil and Jacob imprinted on little kids wasn't it bad enough that they turn into wolves and have to control their anger so they don't accidentally hurt anyone but now they have no choice but the imprint with a random stranger even kids!?

Jacob forcing a kiss on Bella made me want to slap him apparently from what one of my friends told me in the book Charlie congratulated Jacob for basically assaulting his daughter...Charlie wtf man I understand you want your daughter and your best friend's son together cause you hate her bf but the kid kissed your daughter against her will! You better get on his ass for that shit! And I feel bad for Rosalie her backstory was just heartbreaking glad she got revenge on those bastards! Also, Jasper's back story was just yikes dude was a confederate soldier he was my favorite too I love his and Alice relationship I'm honestly mad that we did not see anybody else's backstory I love listening to the legends of the Quileute's fucked they called mutts and dogs who tf wants to be called that. Bella is an idiot she's getting married to Edward and then she tells Jacob to kiss her because he's upset that he found out that they're getting married the whole thing is crazy! I honestly just wish that Jacob would just get over her and see that she's not the one for him I understand that he does not want her to be a vampire but that's her choice but babygirl could careless bout what you think her life should be! Glad that the war is over I'm at the Young vampire girl Bree was killed because she was just a kid man I felt bad for her damn vultori, Glad the army dead glad Victoria is dead I feel bad for Jacob for getting his bones broken by that vampire and having to have them re-broken just so they can heal right feel bad for Charlie because Bella and Edward is going to tell him that they're going to get married and you know that's going to break his heart he doesn't want to see his daughter getting married to the man who left and broke her heart gonna have to reread the books causes I know they're a lot more fucked up shit in there

[mallowstep]

For the love of god, please consider renaming some cats, I've seen names like

"One-Eye, Halftail, Oddfoot, FLIPCLAW (what kind of prefix is 'Flip'?) Twigbranch, Clawface etc. Don't get me started on those atrocious SkyClan names with KITTYPET PREFIXES

Harrybrook, Snookthorn, Rileypool

Like tf?

so i'm going to start with saying! as a general rule, i love these names. i will address them each in turn, but i don't have a problem with warriors having "bad names," i have a problem with names that don't make sense given their context.

it does not make sense for blackfoot to be named blackkit, when he's mostly white. (and, as a colorpoint cat, i assume, would be born entirely white.) etc.

but i have no problem with bellaleaf, because well, yeah! makes sense to me.

after all, leaf was named leafdapple, why shouldn't bella be named bellaleaf.

i'm going to discuss each name you brought up in turn, and then, under the cut, i'm going to ramble about naming philosphies.

one-eye: i'm fine with this. i don't mind cats being named after their disabilities, not when it's an established part of warriors culture. (even if it doesn't happen anymore because people would be pissed about it.) i don't know if i think it's right, or if i think cats would have a problem with it, but i think it's good. i'd like to think most cats wouldn't have a problem with it, though. that said, for one-eye in particular, her name was already white-eye, so it feels redundant. food for thought, i suppose.

halftail: i'm not okay with this, because he lost...half his tail? trust me, as someone who had a cat with half a tail, you don't notice it. doesn't make sense. he can keep sparrowpelt, altho tbh i almost always forget about him.

oddfoot: oops i forget him initially! i actually assumed he was named odd because of numbers or something, but apparently it’s a deadfoot situation. we don’t know his kit name, so i’ll assume he was named as either an apprentice or a warrior to fit. it wouldn’t make sense for him to just have the prefix odd, and i’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he didn’t. if he did, however, i would have a problem with it because that makes his name a compound name, not because his leader renamed him.

flipclaw: i don't have a problem with it. what kind of name is flipkit? the kind of name a mother would give who looks a lot like the cat who traumatized her, i think. more importantly, i think it's cute! doesn't bother me. would i name an oc flipkit? probably not, but that's just me.

twigbranch: oh no i love her name. i love it! it's so cute. it means something, too! it has meaning. nope. no one is taking twigbranch away from me. i love it.

clawface: mixed. i don't really have a problem with a cat being named clawkit, but it feels...violent. shrug. i don't like it, but like, i also don't like sandynose.

and i won't directly address skyclan because uh i already stated my thoughts on them.

skyclan in particular, tho, it actually makes a lot of sense for their names to be like that. there is no reason to apply any clan norms to skyclan names.

i really hope they keep their names, too. tradition and legacy of names is important to them (pebbleshine and violetshine for the most direct example, but it's everywhere), and i want that to stay. i love that leafstar named her kit harrykit. never change skyclan.

as always, i want to say that i do not have a problem with anyone's methodology of naming cats. i do not care. i support every single name in existence (barring certain combinations of color and "-face," and anything in that vein), and i do not want to come across as telling you what you should do.

that includes you, anon! i do not think you should listen to me when i say i like these names. i think you should rename them whatever you want. (i strongly suggest reconsidering skyclan renames, tho. there's established reasons in canon for them to have those names, and i think it's a cool cultural thing worth exploring. i keep meaning to write a funny lil one-shot about it.)

but you know! if you want to rename them, go for it! i support you!

that said, here is what i think (and i am not an authority on this in any way, shape, or form) about names:

i've written extensively about naming traditions in the clans. if you want to read that, "names. leaders. meaning" and "names part two" are where i recommend you look. (note: first link is to my main, before i migrated warriors content here.)

i'm not going to go over any of that in detail, because well, i'd rather talk about something new?

anyway, i don't think there's a reason to rename the vast majority of cats. i have very, very, few rules. heck, in ashes, i even had squilf come out and say that there's not even a problem with cats sharing a prefix.

the two cats i have renamed are yellowstorm and runningcloud, both for very specific reasons: -fang is a suffix that only makes sense if you're a warrior, and yellowfang names runningpaw runningnose, but in this au, sagewhisker names him, and she doesn't seem like the type to give that kind of name.

in yellowfang's secret, which i do generally treat as canon, yellowfang explains runningnose's name. i don't have a problem with her giving that name to him in the slightest. i just don't think sagewhisker would, and that overrode my general conservative approach to cat names.

but i do think, to an extent, cats are named for the world around them. i explored this in "without warning," where cats can be named after all sorts of strange things (elevator is my favourite), because well, they don't know what strange names are and are not.

so, for example, if there was a kit named, say, chaffinchkit, i would probably rename them, because i've set my warriors in the pnw, and there are no chaffinches in america.

i would just name the kit finchkit, because really, a chaffinch just a specific type of finch anyway.

i also refuse to name a kit maggotkit. there are probably other canonical prefixes in this nature that i refuse, but maggot is the big one that comes to mind.

but i don't care that ferns are green and cats aren't green. maybe it's a name passed down through the generations, one they don't even remember the origin of, but now, it is a thunderclan name.

or maybe, it is given to a riverclan cat simply because their mother thinks ferns are nice and soft.

none of that matters to me, because i personally find limiting name to appearance is incredibly boring, and gives up a really nice chance to worldbuild.

in "fair is the night," ivypool and tigerheart have a brief conversation exploring this.

"ThunderClan is different," he says. "You don't use names in the same way. You don't know the Ivy before you. But ShadowClan isn't like that. Dawnpelt knows Dawncloud and Flametail knows Flamefur, but...I have Tigerstar." "That seems ineffective," Ivypool says. "You can get more mileage out of your names. Here, Ivy is for grey kits, right? But wiry ones. We need strong roots. And Dove is for grey kits, or white ones, but its for the ones who are born soft."

they go on, but i would never pass up an opportunity to explore that type of thing. (and yes i see the typo)

similarly, i like the renaming system. i am like, this close to saying i love it.

the only reason i don't make brightheart lostface in everything i write is because it'd be too much of a headache to remind people, and i also don't want to needlessly invite arguments about it.

she keeps her name in "saccharine tithes of love and glory" because it's the kind of au where i can throw small things like that, without worrying, because it fits, tonally.

i wish it didn't set a fic in a very specific tone, but it does, and so, i usually use brightheart.

(also, it's clear that she prefers brightheart in the books, and i respect that. i don't think, in my culture, that makes sense for her, but i've talked about my works as being on a spectrum between canon and me, and most stuff is far enough away from me that i call her brightheart.)

anyway.

part of it is, renaming cats is imposing my rules over canon. i feel that saying "flipclaw should be named something else" asserts that my world is correct, and canon is wrong.

like, tallstar as a name does not make sense in my windclan. a kit can't be tall, and i've established that windclan names are very literal. but i've let it go, because i chose to make that a rule, and now i live with it.

i hope i didn't come off as prescriptivist, here, because i honestly believe if you want to rename cats, you should. i'd even be happy to discuss alternatives.

for clawface, might i suggest scorchface? (the suffix is malleable, frankly, but i don't feel like thinking much about it.) scorch deliberately has negative connotations in shadowclan, so you keep the same effect as clawface. especially since it just kind of sounds ominous.

but as for what i will do, it is not rename cats. i like their names (especially skyclan's), in all their idiosyncratic glory.

[bellasberrycobbler]

The thing about Jasper being a confederate soldier that shocks me and pisses me off isn’t as much the fact that Jasper was a confederate soldier- it’s that Smeyer thought that that was an offense that someone could come back from.

Jasper wasn’t JUST a confederate soldier. He wasn’t old enough to b a confederate solider, so he actively lied about his age to become a confederate soldier, then he was so GOOD at being a white supremacist that he advanced through the ranks. Jasper was fucking PASSIONATE about enslaving black ppl. He was LIVING the mission. I dont rlly care what his motive was. But isn’t it crucial to note what a zealot he was? Like he wasn’t just a white supremacist he was part of THE white supremacists.

Given that he was egregiously racist, one would think that an offense of this magnitude would merit some HUGE redemption arc. Like, it’s fucking SLAVERY. I personally don’t know what kind of redemption arc one would need to go through to come back from literally fighting to enslave an entire group of ppl, but it should be significant right? No. Smeyers clearly doesn’t think his white supremacy is enough of a problem to warrant a redemption arc. She would’ve written about it if she thought it important (maybe it had happened behind the scenes, but we as readers don’t know cus Smeyers thought we would just get over it). Perhaps this is a reflection of her mormonism. Mormonism also thought black ppl were inferior+slavery was just and then changed their mind as “times changed. Or maybe she’s racist and also a Mormon. I don’t rlly care what it’s a reflection of. It’s just rlly messed up and strange how smeyers just nods and smiles.

Everyone just accepts that he was a confederate soldier. Bella hears that he is and she’s just like, “sure.” I’m SURE that the WP hears about him being a confederate soldier, and we never hear about their indignation. Carlisle known for his sense of justice and empathy, CARLISLE WHO IS A FUCKING DOCTOR AND TREATS BLACK PATIENTS, never mentions it. No one refers to his past as unfavourable or distasteful (and those r very fucking mild words). These ppl all just go along with it. And it’s not even like his racism is an issue that never comes up. They talk about his time in the South time and time again. But no one seems to think twice about it.

Jasper’s power comes from supposedly being exceptionally charismatic in his “past life.” So like, once again, he was using a gift that he had to enslave ppl. Not only that, but he’s feeling everyone else’s emotions too. HOW would ANYONE feel the anguish of enslaved ppl with them and then just shrug and carrying on with their newborn wars ro wtvr tf. The utter lack of empathy is fucking astonishing.

Edward says Jasper probably wouldn’t be vegetarian if not for Alice. So, basically Jasper’s only sense of morality comes from loving a white girl....... which...... need i say more? Both sexist and racist (unsurprising coming from smeyer)

The fact that stephenie meyer is a racist bag of shit is news to no one. But the way she’s not even just ~coded racist~ like JK Rowling with jewish people, like she’s just straight up doing the racism ™️ rlly fucking pisses me off.

[figonas]

Twilight Re-watch Notes Pt. 1 - A Contest for the Worst Movie Quote in History

I'd like to think I'm funny so please enjoy my scene-by-scene notes from a recent Twilight Saga re-watch.

Hey Catherine Hardwicke, opening with the death of an animal was probably not the best choice but go off I guess??

There is a lot of general Bella awkwardness that I'm skipping over here but the scene in gym class is so horrifically, painfully uncomfortable that I almost passed out from the second-hand embarrassment.

Jessica trying her best to be fake nice to the human embodiment of a crumpled soda can: "Aren't people from Arizona like....really tan"

Bella with all the cadence of a child who just found out Santa isn't real: "yeah..I guess that's why they kicked me out"

Mike clearly just trying to get his dick wet: "HAHAH you are funny"

no mike she is not.

I'm not gonna go into the biology class scene because god knows tumblr has beaten that particular horse to death. BUT the scene in the administration office immediately after that is a TRIP. Edward has one of his most dramatic lines here when they won't let him switch classes: “I’ll just have to endure it” ?!?!?!?!?!?! This is INSANITY, he sounds like he's going to burst into tears like Edward please chill you aren't even being a little subtle.

I will never get over Bella trying to put Ketchup on her burger and then just???? giving up???? when it doesn't come out after she limply shakes it approximately once.

“HOW YOU LIKIN DA RAIN GIRL” Is our first contender for the worst and most unnatural line in movie history, and trust me there are plenty more.

Bella accusatorily saying “you were gone” to Edward as if this dude who she met for approximately 30 minutes 2 weeks ago owes her even a PALTRTY SCRAP of an explanation about anything???????

Actually, this whole scene is a horrific nightmare of awkward intrusive conversation:

“You’re asking me about the weather” HOE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA TALK ABOUT YOU DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER

“hey did you get contacts” WHO JUST ASKS THAT?!?

and of course; “it’s the fluorescents” [RUNS AWAY]

Charlie and Bella have the only organic-sounding dialogue in the entire movie. Any awkwardness they have is BELIEVABLE father-daughter awkwardness and not like "I'm being forced to film this against my will" awkwardness like every other exchange in this film series.

Bella asks Edward ALL OF ONCE about him saving her from the truck and Edward gets so haughty and smug thinking that Bella won't figure it out

“you’re not gonna let this go are you?” “no” “then I hope you enjoy disappointment” [storms off] MY DUDE LITERALLY 2 SCENES LATER SHE FIGURES IT OUT IN 3 GOOGLE CLICKS

“I had an adrenaline rush, it’s very common you can google it” contender number two for the terrible dialogue award.

Edward saying “if you were smart you would stay away from me” AFTER HE APPROACHED HER LIKE FUCK OFF [skeleton throwing its own skull gif]

Kstew got a lot of flack for her performance in this movie but when she has a good partner to exchange lines with she SHINES. The scene with Angela and her at the beach where she tells her to ask Eric to prom is GOOD. EVERY scene with Charlie in THIS ENTIRE FRANCHISE is GOOD. It is nothing but pure misogyny that Rpatz didn’t catch any flack for his truly, horrifically awkward performance

I cannot believe Stephanie thought it would be a good idea to have Edward save Bella from potentially getting gang r*ped like I get it girl is about the drama but still this is just a TOOOUCH too far

“your hand is so cold,” WHO SAYS THIS TO SOMEONE THEY BARELY KNOW COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED???

SHE TRIES TO REFUSE CARRYING BEAR MACE WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST R*PED NOT 4 HOURS PREVIOUSLY LIKE SIS CARRY A KNIFE?!?!?!?!?

The “you’re impossibly fast & strong” monologue is so bad I want to barf

“I’ve killed people before” “doesn’t matter” BITCH YES IT DOES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

“MY OWN PERSONAL BRAND OF HEROIN” IS SO BAD. Like we all recognize how bad this is right? Especially when one considered the target demographic for these films, i.e. teenage girls, have NO FUCKING FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS WHAT.SO.EVER.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb” YOU’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR ALL OF 3 SECONDS I CAN’T WITH Y'ALL. AT LEAST THE BOOK HAD SOME BUILD-UP JESUS GEEZUS

Who thought this meadow scene was a good idea, they need to be sent straight to hell. WHY ARE THEY LAYING DOWN LIKE, SIT MAYBE?????? IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNNATURAL THEY LOOK LIKE DOLLS I HATE IT

The scene where they get out of the car and Edward puts his arm around Bella while Spotlight by Mutemath plays in the background is TOP TIER teen drama bs and I love it. Far and away the best shot in the movie apart from The Baseball Scene(TM).

I will never get over the fact that Edward's bitch ass rats Bella out for already eating when she comes over to meet his family. BE FUCKING COOL EDWARD FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GOD!!!

Esme is too pure for this world I can’t deal with her, & Emmet waving the knife is my favorite thing in all 5 of these movies

Why tf are Alice and Jasper fucking off doing god knows what in a tree and not helping with dinner like everyone else? Y'all ain't special even Rosalie is helping

Esme talking to Rosalie “Clean this up..now” I LOVE YOU BE MY MOM

Earlier they talk about the fact that vampires don’t sleep BUT the first thing Bella says when she walks into Edward's room is “no bed” girl we know what you after you ain't slick.....

WHAT IS THIS DANCING SCENE IN HIS BEDROOM IT’S HORRIBLE TO WATCH and I want to find whoever thought “well I could always make you” was a good line for Edward to say and slap them directly in the mouth.

“hold on tight spider monkey” excuse me while I VOMIT

Mike offering his opinion on Bella dating Edward HOWEVER justified is automatically invalidated by A. his own romantic interest in Bella and B. the fact that he has also know Bella for all of 10 minutes & has no bearing on her personal life whatsoever

THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS THIS MAN HAS BEEN COMING INTO HER ROOM AND WATCHING HER SLEEP THIS IS RED FLAG CITY LIKE BELLA WATCH A TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARY OR READ THE NEWS FOR FUCKS SAKE

THIS FRANCHISE HAS THE MOST HORRIBLE KISSING SCENES IN MOVIE HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN HEAR LITERALLY EVERY BREATH, EVERY AWKWARD PRESS OF LIPS. You're telling me THIS was the best take of this???? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THIS WAS TO FILM

The whole scene when Bella is telling her dad about her date with Edward is absolutely god tier. Charlie snapping the barrel of the shotgun closed, him motioning that he has a halo on, asking her if she still has her pepper spray. BILLY BURKE LIFTED THIS MOVIE UP AND TRIED SO HARD TO CARRY IT ON HIS BROAD, MUSTACHIOED DAD SHOULDERS, WE STAN

WHERE TO START WITH THE BASEBALL SCENE:

Supermassive Black Hole in the background, Alice going AWF with her pitching, Rosalie getting all pissed when Bella says she's out and Emmett yells "c'mon babe it's just a game" like the puppy dog of a person (vampire?) he is, CARLISLE WEARING A SCARF WHILE PLAYING BASEBALL, I WILL NEVER EMOTIONALLY RECOVER FROM JASPERS BAT TRICKS, EMMET AND EDWARDS LAUGH AFTER CRASHING INTO ONE ANOTHER.

A TRULY IMMACULATE MOVIE SCENE. This scene isn’t long enough

“My monkey man” might be the worst line in this movie, I’m so torn between which one is the worst. Also, I'm just now realizing that this is the second time someone has compared a loved one to some type of monkey and I really don't like it.

Bella's defeated “I can’t hurt him” breaks my heart every time. AND FUCKING BILLY BURKE pulling out his acting chops with Charlie’s poor little broken sounding “I know I’m not that much fun to be around we can do more stuff together” & “I just gotcha back” LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE HURTS ME ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL AND I AM ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION

I know I've skipped over a lot but it's just a lot of like star wipe level montage of nonsense, so we are mOVING ON to what is possibly the biggest plot hole I've never recognized before now: How in the hell was James planning on luring Bella out if he didn’t find that videotape of Bella's mom looking for her????? Or was he just going to bust up in the holiday inn, metaphorical guns blazing & toss Bella out a window???

This fight scene between James & Edward is VERY poorly choreographed and you can practically see the stunt wires pulling on their clothes but no one is surprised..this is Twilight after all.

Who the fuck starts the fire in the ballet studio if Carlisle & Edward are with Bella, Jasper and Emmet are holding James's arms and Alice is ripping his head off???? Esme and Rosalie aren't there so the only explanation is that Emmett's power Stephanie never told us about is his ability to start small, controlled, indoor bonfires with his mind.

If Bella was losing blood from her femoral artery it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she would have been cognizant enough to tell them her hand was burning + THERE’S A BIG ASS BITE HOW DID THEY MISS IT???

Let Me Sign is such a good fucking song. Actually, while we're on music every song on every Twilight Saga soundtrack SLAPS. At least 1 department at Summit Entertainment was staffed with competent people. (side note, why the fuck do I know the studio by name that made this movie. I need to go lie down)

Bella acting a damn fool in the hospital bed like clingy much

CHARLIE IS SUCH A GOOD DAD FUCK!

The Edward/Jacob beef is so dramatic at prom can you both chill for 5 minutes we haven't even gotten to y'alls bullshit yet that's not until New Moon.

Bella really thought this mfer was gonna turn her at prom in the middle of the dancefloor??????????

Flightless Bird American Mouth. That's it, that's the bullet point

Victoria coming to prom, like we stan a dramatic bitch.

I will almost CERTAINLY post my New Moon (Extended Edition) notes in a few days. & yes I do have notes on the entire franchise.

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[vclterra]

felix and demetri learn stan twitter language and won't shut tf up. aro: edward u fucked up we're gonna kill u now lol bella: no!!! kill me pls!! spare him!! felix and demetri, in the background: OMG WIG!!!

pls i’m crying just-

• “OMG felix just ended him” - demetri to alice while watching felix smash edward through those marble stairs

• “iconic. we stan a LEGEND.” - felix and demetri literally anytime jane uses her gift on someone (she hates it and loves it at the same time but she won’t admit it out loud)

• “ooh drag him/her/them” - both of them any time caius gets pissed and goes off on someone, which is all the time

• “that’s so ugly.” - anytime one of the cullens (*cough* edward) makes a snarky remark to them

• “sorry you’ve been cancelled” - anytime they ‘dispose’ of a secretary fjskshdsksk

• “we stan a queen” - whenever heidi does anything. period.

felix and demetri are a chaotic duo that cannot be stopped

[mayatheamazon]

ATTENTION: DO NOT ADD LIZLEZLIZLEZ ON SNAPCHAT!!!!!!!

“She” is actually a male hacker posing as a 19 year old girl’s private Snapchat under the name Lizette. Avoid VALERIE HOLLIDAY as well.

Sincerely, a victim.

so yesterday morning this girl on snap (super pretty, was going to meet up with her in a couple days) wanted to confirm we were meeting.

I said that yes I believe I can convince my parents to go out that day and then she goes off on me, acting as if I was blowing her off when it was the opposite?

she goes on to slut shame me for having 10 partners throughout my life, get pissed that my upper-middle-class self is “so rich and priveleged,” and discredits my talking about working my ass off as a host in a busy restaurant to pay off my student loans as “an easy job, taking the jobs from those who need it, and being so rich” that I “deserve to be targeted.” And the vacation pics I put on my snapchat story because my friends like to see my life was “flexing my wealth.” Bitch tf. I wear cheap clothes and don’t even rly shop ever. I love to give back and I mind my own fucking business. If anything I use my privelege for good and give my friends clothes when they really need it. I never ask people for anything in return. Even if I’m the friend who drives around all the time paying her own gas and car expenses.

I agreed that my family was more fortunate but only because they started from the bottom, survived the 2008 housing crisis BARELY but only because they saved up wisely and had rainy day funds, and still give back. My dad is a small business owner who gives jobs, not takes them. And I’ve always been raised to not be a spoiled brat, to always give back, and to check my privelege.

I’m literally 18 and just graduated and everyone in Orange County has some wealth but obviously when I move out it’s going to be with my own money. I will Be budgeting and eating ramen and having to work multiple jobs but I will do it and not give up on my passions. I’ll be the burnt out gen z-Er that I already am. I don’t lay around.

My days are always filled with me being extremely productive.

Always on my feet. Being anything but lazy.

So for her to call me a spoiled brat when she didn’t even know me....

Idek. I know of my privelege as an American teen who has a car, has a job. I feel rich because I have a good supportive family, a roof over my head, and an open heart. That’s what matters to me most. Of course I’m tucking rich compared to countries with hella inflation and poverty and severe class separation.

The girl starts screenshotting and saving all the private pics and videos I naïvely sent her. Then, while still slut-shaming me, verbally abusing me, and all that shit, she DEMANDS $150 from my own minimum wage paycheck or else she sends my nudes to my parents and managers at work.

She tells me the street I live on too. Calls me stupid. Says that she is actually a man in India who hacks and targets “rich girls” (meaning the girl I was seeing was his previous victim!!!!) to “redistribute wealth”

like some edgelord guy who’s read V for Vendetta or Fight Club and relates to the problematic characters without knowing that OH, Robin Hood’s equivalent in the modern day would be actually targeting rich big business owners who use their privelege to overwork and underpay their employees, or maybe the Hollywood men who use their wealthy white male privelege that we hear about in the #MeToo movement.

Instead of being chaotic good, he’s acted pretty sexist and chaotic evil if you ask me.

Fuck off, buddy. So I sent the money. Was friendly the whole time besides saying the hacker better leave me alone after this, and calling him a dipshit. Asked what food he was buying with it. Said hummus. I joked with the hacker that “I fucking love hummus”. Tried to be a good sport about all of this. Even on the Venmo I said “have a good day XX” (ok that might be sarcasm but DUDE my nude was his profile pic so I can afford to be salty). He’s probably going to use “Valerie Holliday” to catfish as me because that was the Venmo name.

Maybe you can say I’m a “priveleged girl who’s only for wealth redistribution/caste separation reduction if it doesn’t affect her” but the fact that in comparison to the people in my area that is NOT Beverley Hills, I’m not rly that rich??? and the victims of this guys actions should never just be victim blamed?

So guys. I love Bella Thorne. I love the women and men who’ve had to engage with hackers like this who steal their private info and make them feel powerless. Now I’m one of the victims but I don’t just want to be a victim.

I laughed at this and didn’t cry. You can say I took a little breather from my stizz to just clear my overthinking mind and take this as a lesson from the universe. I am pretty trusting of people—too much sometimes—and I’m just grateful I didn’t get hurt and that it wasn’t more $ from my bank account so I can still repay my dad for graciously helping me financially now and again.

I’m glad I didn’t budge on my own opinion of myself and know that I’m not just a spoiled brat. What separates those from me, is that idgaf if I have to do real work like cleaning my dog’s shit, and I am extremely aware of tons of problems in society. Fast fashion is something that I really wish to help stop in the future. So that factories can stop child labor in countries like India, where the hacker was from.

It’s sad because I asked the hacker why he does this besides “redistributing wealth” like the chad he is and he said “what moral compass?” Obviously I’ll never know what this guy has went through but I know that I’m getting money by working.

I mean. Maybe he’s the spoiled brat, typing some hacker codes to bamboozle money from teenage girls he thinks are so “rich” and “evil.”

I’m calling Snapchat soon but I’ve been busy at work and got severe pinkeye this morning but enough is enough.

We gotta stick up for those who’ve been through this shit. It’s SUPER LAME.

Here are the pics of the chat btw (1-5) and Valerie Holliday’s Venmo with my pic on it on 6 of 6. I mean...cool hacker flex. I said he did good at being a hacker but damn he’s an awful human.

STAY SAFE GUYS.

[hoochy-coo]

What do you think about Bella hadid boyfriend?, like I’m so happy for her but girl he’s so ugly and it’s piss me tf off

I promise you that 99% of us feel the same about her bf lol

[fatphobiabusters]

Mod egg was abelist in his response to the free coutry anon. I've said it before. Also, two seperate anons. There is more than just one person who doesn't like you, believe it or not. Like I said, you guys are assholes. You harrass everyone you don't like on insta, you spread lies about science, you can't take a jooe about yourselves. You're kind of like trump that way.

How tf was my response ableist? Do tell me. All I said was “you haven’t taken a government class have you?”

Also it’s a big leap from us being pissed about getting harassed and encouraging our followers to report a fatphobe who is harassing a fat person on instagram to Trump. You anti-SJW sure love to cry “so much for the tolerant left” and “Freedom of speech!” whenever someone calls you on your shit.

Tbh you sound more like Trump with your whining and constant harassment and refusing to leave us alone after we (Bella most likely) tell you nicely to fuck off.

Unluckily for you, I’m nowhere near as kind as Bella. I’m telling you in no uncertain terms to fuck off and never contact us again. Go step on a lego.

-Mod Egg

Edit: it has come to my attention that I was using a phrase that mocks speech impediments. I have changed the wording in question and I'm sorry to anyone hurt by my use of that phrase.