#but at the end of the day the harm anyone has done does not disappear magically because they gave you a cup og hot chocolate
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We are robin, Alfed in disguise recruiting a bunch of teens and Gotham youth for a cause they may believe in but he organizes them, he kills one with a train (or well the kid dies due to an explosion but who put him there) and sure he DOES end up giving them resources... AFTER THE FACT??
It gives drafting, its giving, he was a soldier? or a special agent at least?
Bruce ended emotionally stunted and incapable of handling his emotions properly leading him to shutting down, shutting others away and down, lashing out, Alfred... From as much as I've seen i would expect him to like- Take a step back like "not my problem he'll grow"
Alfred still loves the kids, he can still love Bruce, and the other members of the family and still be a very toxic person.
Families and social groups are complex and have depth and all.
one of the biggest lies the fandom with tell you is that alfred pennyworth is a good man.
he’s horrible. people just don’t realize he’s horrible because they’re all too focus on the superhero’s.
not many people in the fandom know this, but alfred literally has a daughter. her name is julia. why does no one know about julia? BECAUSE HE ABANDONED HER. it’s canon that he chose the wayne’s over his OWN CHILD. when she’s introduced in the comics she hates her dad because he abandoned her in england to raise a child that wasn’t even his.
the infamous jason “a good soldier” memorial? yeah, alfred did that. bruce wanted it taken down. alfred also left jason’s destroyed robin suit on display.
alfred is the reason tim is robin. dick and bruce are trapped by two-face and alfred just… gives tim a robin costume and sends him on his way. no formal training. no nothing.
every blame dick for damian becoming robin? wrong. it was alfred. dick was against it. alfred is the first one to give damian the robin costume, like he did to tim years before. dick did eventually choose damian as his robin, but that was while damian was ALREADY ROBIN. (he even tells tim that he doesn’t pick tim to be his robin because he considers tim to be an equal, not a sidekick, but i digress)
when bane breaks bruce’s back, alfred literally packs up and leaves. he travels. he just drops everything and goes to explore the world, until dick eventually hunts him back down.
it’s also a common theme that alfred couldn’t find the right balance between being a father figure and a butler, so he was constantly enabling bruce growing up (and still does) because technically bruce was his boss… even though he had custody of him.
edit: actually technically (in some runs) bruce’s uncle has custody of him but literally makes being absent an olympic sport But you get what i mean
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solarisfortuneia · 8 months ago
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— 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞…
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(or, in other words, promises of their dedication to you.)
✦ featuring: childe, kaeya, xiao, zhongli, kazuha.
✦ warnings: none, just the smallest smidgens of angst in some places.
✦ notes: so, this is a really old work i posted on my first blog that i'm proud of sjhhjs i found it a while ago and decided to rework it a little!! (i haven't changed too much of the original though, just tweaked some sentences and added and subtracted.)
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…i’d pull hell and heaven to their knees at your feet, and i’d kneel alongside them (if I could. oh, if only i could).
childe wants to give you the world and more.
he’s almost reverent in his devotion to those he loves, seeking to please beyond all else, and what he holds toward you is no different. at merely a blink of your eyes, he’d bring you the sun and the stars, weave moonlight into fabric and find a chunk of the most beautiful emerald you’ve ever laid eyes on, and he does it all with a wink and a smile and a ‘you need only ask, dear,’
and it is true, you need only ask for him to lay out the world for you.
but alas, there is only so much fate will allow him to do. his heart and soul may rest in your palms, but he is duty bound to the tsaritsa.
ajax can promise you everything in the world, just not himself.
he cannot promise you himself in his entirety, he cannot promise you an ajax without his secrets, without an always existing barrier in between you.
no matter how desperately he wants to.
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…i’d stand bare in your light, arms asunder, abandoning my secrets and shedding the shadows i once called home.
kaeya alberich fears trust.
he’s scared of what it could lead to, what it could do to him, what it has done to him. he’s a man who lives under a cloak of secrets and inside a cocoon of fear and mysteries, and for him to allow himself to expose everything he hides is no small feat.
but it is the surest mark of his trust in you, that some hopeful part of him believes that you’ll stay against all odds.
he thinks you shouldn’t, though, that it’ll cause you more harm than good— he won’t let himself want you. but you’ll know he is truly yours when he hesitates no longer to tell you the deepest desires of his heart, to bare his whole soul and lay it before your eyes.
patience, and you'll find him the most beautiful butterfly of them all.
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…i’d cross the deepest of chasms, weather the harshest of storms, and brave the most treacherous of paths to return to your arms.
not a soul can say that adeptus alatus has no home to go back to. (and if they did, how utterly wrong they’d be.)
his home is the warmth of your embrace, the love in every gentle caress, and the soft cadence of your voice. it's the smile in your eyes, and the spring in your step, and the softness of your heart. he’d call it almost dream-like, but xiao knows what dreams are like, far better than anyone. he also knows that every dream— no matter how intense, no matter how vivid— always disappears.
but you’re still here, day after day,
does that not mean you’re as real as the air he breathes and the sun that sets over liyue?
xiao’s loyalty is hard won, but it is steadfast. he cannot promise that he’ll live forever, nor can he promise you happiness every single minute of the day. but what he can promise you, is that at the end of the day, he’ll fight his hardest to return to you, no matter how far away he might be.
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…i’d etch your memory— from the most mellifluous laugh to every tiny victory— onto my very soul, so that not even the flow of time can wash it away.
morax has prospered for centuries.
he’s witnessed dynasties fall to dust; paupers rise to prominence. he’s come across many he was fond of and cherishes the memory of everyone he has ever cared for. 
he’s also aware that forgetting some people in the vast expanse time is inevitable. the withering of the blooms of thought spare none, not even a god, and the tree of the psyche grows ancient. after all, even the mind is not permanent in a world of transience, is it?
but zhongli would be damned if he ever let you fade.
his promise, no, his contract— one he made to himself the day the realization that you'd one day no longer be by his side fully set in— is to preserve even the last wisps that linger, encasing the thought of you in shimmering gold, so that after you are long gone, you’ll live on as part of his soul.
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…i’d whisper the softest of tales into the night breeze, tales of you and i, so that even when we’re long gone, the wind will carry our stories for aeons to come.
kazuha is no stranger to the whispers of the wind.
he’s intimately familiar with them, a rare blessing he knows he is lucky to have. but his most divine blessing is the privilege of being part of a story with you. life is short, unpredictable; one never knows what their fate might be, but he's beyond glad that this part of his destiny has you.
he has no desire to be a legend, and he knows you don’t either. but he is sentimental in the regard that he wants the whispers of the two of you to stick around. he’s lost so much, and reciting stories of the two of you is his way of preservation, for nothing spoken into the wind vanishes.
the world knows only a fraction of this wanderer, but he hopes that if they remember anything about him, they remember how much he loved you.
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brailsthesmolgurl · 6 months ago
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LOSE YOU TO LOVE YOU
Preview: You had to lose your lover to protect them against harm but what happens when someday, fate connects the two of you again? Warnings: Angsty but yes to fluff too, slightly-slightly suggestive towards the end! this is gonna be a bit of a lengthy read as always
P.S: This is an extremely detailed request by one of you guys, its a bit challenging for me to write it hence I decided to take it upon my own twist for the story. Or else, I might actually get so demotivated to write this piece and I do not wish for that. Overall plot would still be half-preserved but I had decided not to use any names just for the overall inclusivity for other readers. Great ideas should be shared and I think my readers would like to be included too in this wonderful plot :)
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"What...what have you put into this y/n?" Rafayel stumbled, the mug slipped out of his hand when his legs started buckling beneath him. He was in disbelief as he watched the mug broke upon impact against the hard tiled floor. It was like time had slowed down for him and he could only blame the orange juice he had drank. "Y/N!" He calls out to you again, hands now clasping onto his slender neck when he slowly crumpled to the ground. Yet, his calls for you fell upon deaf ears, four walls on each side of the room watched him suffer.
You peeked over the heavy door leading to his room and your eyes watered at the sight of your fiance lying motionless on the ground. Knocking him out is the only way you can think of the moment you were threatened by an elite group of assassins. They are the reason behind his bounty value--that had exceeded by two million-- and they presented the only option for you to 'save him' is by leaving him.
They cornered you on one of the days when you were out dealing with Wanderers. Although you are fairly combative, one woman against a dozen of elite assassins would not grant you a survival route. Hence, you were practically forced to listen to their proposal. Not much details were disclosed to you about why they were willing to retract the bounty for your fiance but you figured if he could live a better and safer life without a bounty hung on his head then why not? Even if you were to be at their disposal.
"Leave him and he shall walk like a free man he once was." You remembered the grim voice of a man as he relayed the terms and conditions to you. "We do not seek a confrontation here as you are with child."
Flashing back to the present, you lightly rubbed your belly, still wondering how they know of your pregnancy when it was not even announced to Rafayel. This further tells that those assassins are not to be messed with. "I am sorry." You knelt down beside your lover, studying his peaceful features as he was snoozing. "I am sorry I have to do this to you. I promise you that I will be back for you when the time is right." Pushing yourself off of the floor, you left without turning your head back. Each step taken ripped your heart out of your chest even more.
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Years had gone by, with you disappearing off of the grid and went into hiding. During then, you had been living under a pseudonym, revamping your whole image and identity to go full on undercover. You did this because you did not want Rafayel, nor anyone from your past to track you down. However, peacefulness does not last long when news of Rafayel’s bounty is on the rise again and it got you wondered what he could have done to piss them off. You did some digging yourself. With the help of your new identity, you can slip in and out of the clubs without a worry. Eavesdropping just enough to get the information you need to propagate further in tracking down the same man who once threatened you to leave Rafayel.
The trail has led you back to Linkon City and you stood at the balcony of the unit you had rented, overlooking the scenic view of the concrete jungle below. The city has changed a lot since the last you had been here and that is probably years ago. “Mummy.” A child-like voice snapped you out of your reminisce and you looked down, watching the toddler walking up to you. A perfect photocopy of your ex-lover; with dark purple locks smooth to one’s touch and eyes the same as his hair. He is like a doughy-faced version of Rafayel. The child that you bear while you left Rafayel now stood in front of you, eyes full of hope before another similar face joins him. Yes, you gave birth to twins. The other is yet another photocopied version of Rafayel, but adorns the eyes as deep as the blue sea. That is how you manage to tell them apart from one another.
“Mummy you okay?” The blue-eyed toddler followed up with the question. Although only been in this world for three years, the both of them had grown so much, not only in terms of height but also knowledge and other aspects that would commonly be found within a toddler’s growing age. They inherited Rafayel’s artistic talent; always doting on painting to pass time whenever you are home with them. Whereas from you, they certainly are highly adaptable and smart. “We go for walk mummy?”
“Yes, let’s go for a walk.” You stood upon and went over to the front door to grab your coat, handing the twins their coats as well. “Put them on alright, the night is going to be chilly and I do not want you guys to be sick.” Out of habit, you slotted your baseball cap right over your head. It is a good strategy to not stand out from the crowd when you get to shield parts of your face at certain angles. You grabbed your wallet and phone and proceeded to walk out with the twins.
Nights in cities are never boring; with bustling traffic and chatters hailing from crowds. This was what you had missed out on for the past years. Staying by the countryside does have its perks but still, you missed the noises of a city that is alive. Dank pathways were sprawled out at the park as you walked with your toddlers by your side. The rain had just subsided and it smelled of dew and silt. But, something seemed off. There were hints of metallic smell in the air, a smell closely resembled to fresh blood. You stopped in your steps and started scanning the area, your ears perked up to maximise picking up even the slightest of gales. “I’m scared mummy.” Your toddler had seemed to pick up on the shift of aura as well.
A twig snapped and you too, snapped yourself towards the source of the sound, shielding your kids by pushing them behind you and hands dug deep into your coat, ready to draw out your weapon if danger ensues. Your eyes were narrowed into slits, relying on dimly lit street lamps to highlight the bushes in front of you. “You know what you should do right?” You looked down, watching your toddlers nod towards you. They were already trained from young to flee should there be any situation that requires them to. Both of them have a watch equipped with a navigation system that will lead them directly to the nearest police station or anywhere that is a confirmed safe house for them. With that, you ushered them and watched as your kids held hands with one another and started to tread lightly out of the park, the watch illuminating their way.
You pulled out your gun the moment an amorphous figure emerged from the bushes and before it could reach you, it burst into flames, screams of agony like a banshee on a killing spree tore through the empty park. Luckily, your children had already fled and a beep on your watch notified you that your kids are safe, and they are currently back to the unit that you had rented. You lowered your gun and stared at the tallowing figure in front of you, the blazoning red tinge of flames looked familiar, it was as if you had seen it—“Y/n?” You blinked, looking up to find another figure emerging from the same path taken by the man who had now disintegrated into ashes and blended into the night skies. “Is that you?”
“Rafayel?” Your jaw dropped, watching him emerged from the bushes. It must be because you missed him so dearly that your mind decided to deploy a mirage of him amidst danger right? It’s like those final wish scenes and you could not help but feel goosebumps slowly drawn to the surface of your arms. “You’re not real.”
The man in black clomped over and you stumbled backwards, gasps fleeting out of your lips as you thought you just saw a ghost. “Careful.” The grip on your arm gravitated you back to reality. You are now staring right into the eyes of your ex-lover, the same guy you thought was killed because there were no news of him anymore. The same man that you were forced to leave in order to protect his safety. The love of your life, the father to your twins. “You are back.” He enveloped you into his arms, his breath disheveled, his tone of voice ebullient. You were expecting a frustrated Rafayel, not forgiving you for leaving him, not acknowledging your existence because you had left him so suddenly without a reason.
Yet, you could not seem to fathom his current state as he held you tightly in his arms. Rafayel had been nothing but the bearer of a deft husk of a ‘widow’. Ever since he woke up to an empty home, he became relentless. Thomas too, was greatly affected by his melange of emotions. Everyone else who worked around him were forced to be more obsequious than ever, showcasing utmost sycophancy in fear of getting panned by the artist. For he had went through a change of heart, thirsting only for revenge upon the group of people that took away his lover. Succour was indeed offered by Thomas, to seek out information regarding your whereabouts. Rafayel agreed and thanked him, providing him all of the money needed to seek you out but deep inside, he knew that finding you would not be a simple matter and his worry haunted him further.
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The walk back to your place was awkward, one-sidedly perhaps. Rafayel had not stopped talking, telling you about his journeys of tracking down every single one of the members of the elite group and threatening them to spill their guts about your whereabouts. Given that you left him on your own will, none of the men knew where you had migrated to and that literally got their guts spilled afterwards. He then went on, telling you about how he had handled the truth of you leaving him, that, when it came to a certain point in his life, he was the one that caused you the suffering instead. His words did travelled into your ears, but it was not being processed properly as you were too occupied on thinking about how does one tell their long time lover that they had became a father without their knowing?
The both of you stood at the front of your door now, you praying quietly to yourself, hoping Rafayel would not freak out if he were to meet both of your twins upon stepping into the entrance. You imprinted your thumbprint on the scanner and the door unlocked with a crisp click. Two sets of footsteps were heard clomping towards where you stood and you looked over to Rafayel immediately to analyse his reactions towards your twins. “Mummy— who’s this?” The both of your twins immediately froze, being only a couple of steps away and their eyebrows were strewn together in confusion. The father of the twins stood frozen too, eyes darting in between the two toddlers, noticing the familiar and yet uncanny features of theirs.
When Rafayel got to the leader of the elite group, he was foretold that you were pregnant when you left but he supposed that he was unable to take a grasp of time after you had left. Both of the boys are a bit taller than kids of their age, both rocking the same purple locks as his, pallid and flabby cheeks that Rafayel was certain to own when he was younger back in the days and not to mention, the both of them got your lips. Every lip motion is a total reflection of you. “You were pregnant with them when you left me right?” You took the note that Rafayel does probably know of the existence of you having a child but maybe, he is still in shock, not expecting twins at all. You nodded in response to his question.
Rafayel got onto his knees and smiled, tears started jerking around in his eye sockets, tainting his purplish-pink eyes a glassy tint. “I am your father.” He opened his arms to the twins but your kids cautiously looked over to you, awaiting for the confirmation as they had never seen their father before. Upon noticing your nod and smile, the twins squealed in surprise and hurtled themselves into his arms. Just like that, a family reunion happened.
“You already got them to bed?” Couple of hours later, Rafayel had placed the two reluctant twins of his to bed. Given both of the kids had been longing to have a father figure in their life, a few hours of interaction with Rafayel are definitely not enough for them. However, bed time at 9pm came to be an obstacle for the twins. Yawns started replacing laughs and Rafayel knew it was time to call off play time and switch to story time. You would usually read them to bed and Rafayel thought it is a great idea to put the kids at ease by telling his story, portraying himself to be the main protagonist set out on a journey to save a princess and to rescue her minions as well. The princess being you and yes the minions are the twins.
“Yeah, they could barely listen to my story for five minutes.” Rafayel plopped down next to you on the couch and extended his arm across your back, an invitation for you to lean against his shoulder and you did just that. “I might have went a little hard on them for the tag game.” That explains the heavy stomps and patters of footsteps coming from the room and hallways just now as you were taking a rest. You settled your longing gaze on your fiancé, realising that years had done no harm to him. The same hairstyle that he wears without much styling, the same siren like eyes that only holds you as the apple of his eyes, the same moles that were dotted across his face and the same warm smile he could ever emblazoned onto his features when it comes to being around you. He never changed.
As your insecurity started to settle upon you, particularly towards your own looks. Where time and stress has taken a toll on you, imprinting its effects with fine lines and wrinkles on your face, painting dark circles under your eyes and causing you to constantly wear a fatigued smile. “Do I look different to you even after all of those years Rafayel?” You peered up to him.
“My love.” Rafayel’s warm hand came up to caress your pinched cheeks, you had indeed became much more thinner than he last seen you, before you left him. He knew you must have not suffered any lesser when you had to constantly be on the run while having to bring up both of the kids by yourself as well. But, part of him was grateful that you no longer had to run, for he had eliminated every single member of the damned association. “You still look the same as how you always were.” His eyes wandered, down your cheeks and to your lips and back up again, lust wriggling its way through his gaze. “I missed you dearly my wife. I promise you that no matter what happens ever again, I will not let anyone convince you to leave me anymore. For I, will take full responsibility for the safety of our family.”
Your eyes reflected like glass under the dim lighting, words of affirmation coming from your lover after such a long time seized all of the rumination in your head. You did not notice the streaks of tears till you felt the pads of his thumbs swiped across both sides of your cheeks, his hand now fully cupping your small face. “Now, may I take the responsibility to care for my wife and to make love to you all night to prove my love to you?” The words he spoke were laced heavily with romance and lust that he had held back for years and little did you know, he is going to give you another child and make up for all of the lost times with you and his children.
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A request from @cherriejoyponce, fulfilled with my own twist. Hope you like it!
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whenyouwishuponastar7 · 7 months ago
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Hi everyone!
I have to address something that has gone on and is currently occurring. This is the last thing I want to do because I have spent eight years in different fandoms and avoided as much drama as possible. I want no part in it. I want to enjoy my time here.
Unfortunately, this is no longer drama. This is about an individual harming people, their mental health, their safe spaces, their enjoyment of fandom, their favorite ship, and their writing. This is about an individual who chooses bigotry over friendship and will align themselves with bad people for popularity.
And they don’t care who they harm by doing it.
This person made my life a living hell for over five months. It started in August, but things took a turn in October. I was finally free of them in late February because that is when a fandom event ended that tied me to them.
During this event, this person stressed me out to the point of tears. They made passive-aggressive remarks about various things, which made me feel insecure about my fic and writing. They unexpectedly changed their medium and didn’t talk to me about it before they did; I admit I was taken aback, hurt, and short with them. I apologized and took accountability the following day.
From then on, I tried to be as supportive, kind and understanding as possible.
I was “pushy” in December and January because this person had not produced a single finished piece of their art, which would total ten pieces. I knew it was too late in January to get a pinch hitter, and I don’t care that I asked a few times how it was going when I had nothing. I handed them a completed fic on August 28th. They had nothing until mid-January (and almost didn’t make it to this deadline) but didn’t start the bulk of their work until late January 22nd and finished (except polishing and watermarking) on the 26th.
Final submissions were on January 31st.
It took them four days to do what they hadn’t done in five months. I asked if they needed an extension, and we got one because they were not done by the final submission day. I had watched another writer’s artist drop out at the last minute, and mods said they couldn’t find anyone to pinch-hit for them.
This experience was a bad one. I can’t express how shitty it felt. I didn’t write for three months during it, and the fics I’ve written since then aren’t very good. I also have watched my readership disappear—getting the hits and kudos I did before October stopped.
I had a feeling this individual might have been involved if they were talking about me, but I thought I was being paranoid. I still may be, but since this has all happened, I have started to regain readers. I find that interesting.
Anyway! This whole thing ended, and it was bitter for me. I don’t have any more enjoyment in this fandom. I love my ship, but I currently have no desire to write them. I’ve been depressed and I’m scarred from fandom events. This person took away my joy when I only wanted to participate in a fandom event with my friends and have fun.
Because fandom is supposed to be fun, it’s not supposed to do this to people. It’s insane that it does this to people, and I never wanted to be involved in this bullshit.
This person has gone on to enjoy other fandom events, write and produce art, and seems to be doing fine.
Through small but interesting events, I started to learn about this individual’s ‘perspective’ on the entire thing with me. And, hoo boy, it was a fucking ride.
I am still shocked, amazed, flabbergasted and kinda pissed off about how this person lied about me. Everything they said was a complete lie. They shared my DMs via screenshots out of context, warped what we were talking about to play the victim and get sympathy, and flat-out lied numerous times. I have been accused of forcing them to do things during the event when I have screenshot proof that never happened.
For everything this individual accused me of, I provided screenshots to tell the fucking truth.
Two people have told me the same phrasing: they made me out to be a monster.
A monster.
If anyone knows me, my character, they know I’m not a goddamn monster. I try to keep my head down, stay in my lane, play in my sandbox corner, enjoy my ships, and have fun with my friends.
To be called a monster or to have someone say, ‘you’re nothing like they made you out to be,’ is the most surreal moment of my adult life.
This is fiction, fandom; it’s not real, and not everyone makes a living off it. It’s a hobby, and it’s supposed to be enjoyable. Once we step away from our computers and phones, no one knows us as so and so, writer or artist of Ship. Meanwhile, this person is making me out to be the worst human being alive, and it is absolute insanity to learn how deep it goes.
The twists and turns, the lies, the complete lack of reality, the delusion. It’s creepy and disturbing. And, through finding all of this out, I pieced together a pattern of behavior that this individual has:
When you do something they don’t like, they distance themselves, become cold and passive-aggressive, and hold themselves above you. You are no longer of use to them. They dangle their friendship and attention on a lure, hoping you’ll bite, only to throw you back under.
Please understand that this is a dangerous thing—this is not fandom drama—this is a dangerous individual, and the person with whom they choose to spend their time speaks volumes.
I will not share names or screenshots. Screenshots have been shared with the right people, and I will not make it a public spectacle. I also choose to protect the privacy of my friends and others involved in this, of which there are many.
I have been accused of forcing this individual to do things, hating them and their work, being extremely pushy and stressing them out, and that my server was unwelcoming and the people in it were unkind, and various other things. Small things that didn’t mean anything to me were taken extremely personally and made into more lies to make this person a victim.
Such as my preferred formatting for posting my fic links on tumblr. They did not respect it, even though I attempted to respect their formatting for posting their art numerous times earlier, but I was told not to stress about it and, you guessed it—accused of forcing them to change things behind my back. Again, screenshots have been given to the right people.
This individual can delete everything, but we have our proof, as we have been gathering it. We will not publicly share anything, but if this individual decides to, we have the evidence to back it all up.
There were so many creepy and fucked up things that happened. I can’t list them without getting too personal, but please understand this person does not belong in our fandom.
They chase popular people, especially artists, to ‘collect’ them and lie to and manipulate their friends for sympathy. Their friends need to step away and see the light because they are being used—it’s not a real friendship. It is transactional.
And you should be offended. They will cast you aside when you’re useless to them, too.
If I seem mad, it’s because I am. I have been dealing with this since August, when I realized that many of their comments were strange. I didn’t know those were red flags at the time. This individual pretends to be friendly and claims to be ‘the nice one’ when things go wrong so they can keep their reputation. Interactions with them might seem harmless, but looking at them with a different scope makes them something far different.
Don’t ignore red flags or gut instincts.
This is my story, and it is not told exactly how I wish I could tell it. But I know this individual has hurt numerous other people. I was going to make this post without the ability to reblog, but I am leaving it open for now.
If you want to add your story, as I suspect many of you know who I am speaking of, please do. I ask that you avoid telling anyone else’s stories for them unless you have permission. Protect each other.
This stupid shit unites us. I’m not afraid anymore because I’m sick of watching my friends get hurt again and again.
This individual has befriended a known bully and transphobic person. I won’t speak any further on this because it is not my story, but please bear in mind that they chose a TERF over trans friends. And we know what they say about association.
Blindsided victims of this individual are not at fault for this person’s actions.
See something, say something. Terfs and bullies can GET FUCKED.
Share your story.
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thefiery-phoenix · 9 months ago
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YANDERE DANIEL PARK HEADCANONS
Well I've started getting into the Lookism Fandom as well and damn, it's addicting. Also I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long, my 12th grade exams are finally done and it's a huge relief which means I'll have more time on my hands now. Thank you all for your support despite my lousy forgetful behavior
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Daniel Park as a yandere would be obsessive, possessive and would also be a complete stalker and somewhat slightly manipulative too but not to an extent which would hurt you completely. You'd first befriend little Daniel and his obsession for you starts from there. When everyone else was busy picking on him and making fun of him and ruthlessly bullying him, you appeared like an angel sent from the heavens itself to save him, to protect him and accept him for who he was. He was so surprised when you got a job at the convenience store where he worked and was extremely thrilled to be working along side with you to spend more time with you
As time passes by, his obsession for you spiraled into a rabbit hole of madness. His love for you was getting out of control. Whatever body he might be in, you will always be the only person who will reside in his heart. You'll always have a special place in his heart. Daniel would not spare anyone who dared to make you feel upset or dared to pick on you or make you cry. The other day Logan Lee decided it would be a good idea to take his frustration out on you after Zoe ended up rejecting him for what seemed like the umpteenth time and Logan ended up pouring chocolate milk all over you and your body which leaked and dripped down your hair and uniform
Your eyes welled up with tears and before you were even about to react, Daniel punched Logan straight in the jaw and a few strikes and blows later he was blacked out and unconscious. He becomes ruthless whenever someone tries to harm you. He went back to his sweet and kind and caring more as he pulled you out of the cafeteria into the hallway and offered you his jacket and helped you wash off the chocolate milk from your hair, his heart stinging and breaking at your every sniffle. If there's something he absolutely cannot stand is seeing you, the love of his life cry. You're literally breaking his heart with your tears and he'll gently caress your cheek with his fingers and assure you that he's always here for you
When he makes a promise he sticks by it no matter what. So when he said he was going to be by your side at all costs, he meant it. Your innocent oblivious self won't know that Daniel is pretty much stalking the heck out of you now. It's just for safety purposes you know, the streets of South Korea aren't safe for a pretty little thing like you. You need someone like him to protect you and take care of you and he's more than happy to play your knight in shining armor. You had the dangerous habit of listening to music with both your airpods in your ears which made you completely oblivious to your surroundings. Your lack of awareness would have resulted in something drastic had it not been for your protector Daniel lurking from behind the shadows to protect you by beating those no good scumbags who dared to lay their filthy eyes on you
At times he's not above killing people either especially if they look at you in the wrong manner. Don't even get me started when he loses his consciousness and he blacks out and has eyes like Gun's. He goes completely feral and can and will destroy everything that stands against his way which proved to be a threat to you. He likes cherishing the little things you give him from pens to pencils to candies and such
Under NO circumstances whatsoever does he want you getting involved in fights or these crew wars that happen so frequently. It doesn't matter if you're a fighting prodigy but he will always ensure fighting is off the table for you. The last thing he wants is to see you get hurt and he'd rather burst a blood vessel than allow a single scratch on that pretty body of yours
Once you do manage to figure out he's stalking you or has an unhealthy obsession towards you there won't be any point in going to his friends either for help. Zack is the same case with Mira so it wouldn't really bother him, Jay is helping out his good friend Daniel by keeping an eye on you with his various resources and ensuring the idiots who made the mistake of making you upset are now blacklisted from every single company existing. Perks of being the Prince of the fashion department. Vasco and the Burn Knuckles would just see this as Daniel loving you so much that he's willing to do anything for you and they admire him even more if that was possible
Daniel would only resort to kidnapping you if you're on the verge of leaving the country or if you're going out with someone else. It's okay though it's not your fault. You're never in the wrong in his eyes. You'll wake up in his apartment and you'll obviously be confused and upset and he can understand that. He's filled the apartment with all your favorite books and your favorite things to make you feel more at ease and comfortable. Take as much time you need to settle down he won't mind. It's a big change for you after all
He loves and adores it when you compliment him, he's like melted putty in your hands. Just say the word and anything you want will be yours. Except for your freedom of course. You won't be able to escape from him, he'll find you but he won't punish you. He can't beat to hurt you but he'll make sad puppy dog pleading eyes and ask you why won't you love him despite what he's doing for you. Reason and logic is thrown out of the damn window with him. However if someone tries to forcibly snatch you away from him, they better be praying to whatever God they believe in and hope they're only stuck with a hospital bill instead of funeral service procedures. He'll get the locks changed and get a better security system for you, courtesy from Jay himself. You won't be leaving Daniel ever. You're his and he'll do anything and everything he can to ensure it stays that way...
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I thought of this while falling asleep, so stick with me.
I have a very specific image in my head of jisung/chan/noona laying in bed all day and struggling with their mental health, like depresh sesh fr. And then seungmin sees it after he went to school and came back and they were in the same position. (Especially chan, bc we know he has experienced depression irl). So seungmin texts the pack and everyone goes into help the sad mode. Felix makes baked goods and lays with them, Minho makes dinner and makes sure they drink water (he knows when he doesn't need to be a snarky baby, so he lets them live), hyunjin helps with self care and gets them to shower, changbin talks to them and tries to get to the root of the issue, jeongin tries to get them to play games with him or just cuddles up to them and holds them tight like Felix. (Babies) at the end of the night, everyone is piled up in someone's bed watching a kdrama.
Also, ig i could ask the pack this too. If someone is being seriously depressed, how does everyone help? Who usually has the worst of it, if you wanna answer?
(This is so sweet. Thank you for sharing. Because as someone who struggles with mental health (as most of us do!) this was so comforting to read and imagine and take into consideration. <3)
Triggers (only discussed, nothing specific but please take care of yourself): Self Harm, Depression, Anxiety, Mental Illness, Suicide
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"This is a serious ask." Changbin remarks somberly, lips drawing into a thin, pressed line.
"It is," Chan agrees, nodding. "But it's also incredibly important to talk about. But first-" He gives a soft little smile. "I wanna give all of you guys a big hug and tell you you're doing your absolute best-no matter where you are on your journey-that we're proud of you, and we love you."
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He settles back into his seat, folding his hands into his lap, glancing around at the other members of the pack.
"Is there anyone who feels comfortable discussing this? Or would you like me to go first?"
You glance to him. "I think we've all talked about this amongst each other before, but I don't know if we've ever really talked about it outside of the pack. So maybe it's best you go first, Channie."
He nods once and lets out a long breath between his lips. "Okay. Well, I've had a long, hard road of mental health struggles, it's not a secret I don't believe." He pauses for a moment, gathering his words, and then continues. "I've always had bouts of depression, but it got a lot worse when I moved from Australia to Korea to study."
"I was alone, I didn't know anyone, I was just a kid. I felt like no one cared, like I was adrift without anyone or anything to support me. I turned to school and music and producing to try and fill the void, but the weight of the darkness was increasing, and none of those things felt like enough."
You reach out silently and cover his hand with your own. He gives you a slight smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, and squeezes your fingers between his own gratefully.
"It got so bad, eventually I never left the studio-I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I didn't take care of myself. At my lowest, I seriously considered just being done with it all. No one would miss me anyway. At least that's what I'd convinced myself-and the depression agreed."
He blows another long sigh out through his teeth, and the pain in his dark eyes is heartbreaking.
"But-" He shifts, sitting up straighter and shaking off some of the heaviness, glancing to Changbin now. "-Then some asshole convinced me to partner up with him for a semester project."
Changbin shrugs and gives a rueful half grin in response. "What can I say? I wanted the best."
Chan gives a little chuckle, shaking his head slightly at the other alpha's teasing. "The depression didn't go away. The weight didn't just disappear over night. But over time, I realized that maybe I did have something, was really someone, that people would miss. At least, certain people that mattered."
He glances around at all of you now, affection flashing across his features, and he gives your hand another squeeze.
"It's still hard some days. I still get too in my head, the darkness never really disappears, it just takes the back seat for awhile, but I've learned how to cope with it better, to turn to people I trust for help, instead of withdrawing and being alone and letting it consume me."
"We're proud of you, Christopher." Minho states plainly, and you can see how much the words mean to Chan as they settle like a blanket around his shoulders.
"Anyway-" Chan gives a little laugh, the tips of his ears going red, as he shifts and rakes a hand through his curls. "Enough about me, someone else go."
"No, but wait-" You stop him, and he glances at you curiously. "-I think it's important to talk about and realize the triggers, the tells, of someone you know and love when it comes to mental health. Because sometimes, when they feel the darkness creeping back in, they can't vocally express that need for help."
Chan nods thoughtfully. "Very true."
"Hyung has very specific tells." Changbin adds, studying Chan. "He starts to withdraw, he spends a hell of a lot more time alone-in the studio, his room, etc.-which leads to him not taking care of himself. He gets quiet, like he's in his head and not with us, and I think everyone's gotten to the point where they can tell 'regular Chan quiet' from 'overthinking, sinking Chan quiet.'"
Chan is nodding again, shooting the other alpha a wordless, grateful look.
"Jisung and I both struggle incredibly with anxiety and panic attacks." You bring up next, looking to the beta, who is nodding beside Changbin. "Although, just because we have the same diagnosis, it doesn't mean our triggers or even our symptoms are the same."
"Yeah-" Jisung agrees, jumping in. "It's important to note that you can struggle from the same mental issues as someone else, and still realize that that doesn't mean you know anything about what the other person is going through. A similar diagnosis can look completely different for someone else."
"In my case, my anxiety revolves around uncertainty and the 'what ifs', and certain scenarios are really triggering for me." You continue, giving Jisung a breather before you give him the option to express his feelings. "If someone is later than normal getting home from school or work, I panic, coming up with all the worst case scenarios in my head until I can't breathe."
"Communication is absolutely key for you and the type of anxiety you struggle with." Chan agrees, nodding.
"Yeah, we've implemented check ins or communication methods when someone is going to be late or somewhere unexpected." You nod, giving Chan a little half smile. "It's really helped, and I really appreciate you guys doing that for me, even if it feels silly."
"Hey, Hyunjin-hyung never has to check in." Jeongin suddenly complains, as if he's only now just realized.
You grin. "Hyunjin is always late, so I've just come to expect it."
Hyunjin smirks like a cat, all sharp teeth and feline eyes. "You know me so well, baby."
Jisung takes in a deep breath, and you take that as his silent signal that he's ready to discuss his own struggles now.
You glance to him, and give him a little encouraging nod.
"On the other hand, I have a hard time with anxiety and panic attacks in social situations, or when dealing with crowds. I don't like to be around a lot of people that I don't know."
Changbin reaches over and stops the beta's nervous twisting of his hands in his lap, giving him a little warm smile.
Jisung steels himself with the alpha's encouragement and goes on. "I don't like feeling like people are counting on me, or expecting something from me that I can't give. In social situations, there's too many variables and too many unknowns, and I feel like I'm guaranteed to fail no matter what I do."
"The buddy system is a great way to help Sungie when he's feeling anxious." Felix interjects, giving the beta a dazzling smile. "We always stick around him in social situations or gatherings, just so he has someone he knows well to joke with or talk to."
"Yeah." Jisung lets out the breath he'd been holding, seem to relax a little. "That helps a lot."
"And Minho-hyung and noona are great at talking him down when he's in the full throes of an actual panic attack." Seungmin adds, throwing an arm around the other beta's shoulders in a silent show of support. "They let him breathe and take his time, and then convince him his feelings are valid and okay, and that he's safe."
Jisung nods again wordlessly, and you see Changbin squeeze his hands.
"As far as everyone helping out-" Felix looks thoughtful now, his brow creased. "-I feel like we all suffer from certain levels of mental issues, and that's to be expected, and everyone kind of just knows how to help in the right way depending on what pack member is feeling down."
"You were absolutely spot on with your scenario of what Channie likes though." You laugh, referencing the previous thoughts. "He needs people to pull him out of his head, help him take care of himself, and mainly snuggle and be there for him. He likes the entire pack to pull around him when he's in a rut."
"Minho-hyung on the other hand-" Changbin speaks up, giving the elder a pointed look. "-he'll bite your head off the first day. He likes his space until he's come down a little, and even then, he wants one or two specific people to just exist with him for awhile."
"And who are those one or two people?" You ask, already knowing the answer, laughing a little.
Minho rolls his eyes as Changbin answers without hesitation, "Chan and Felix of course."
"Ah, Aussie line!" Chan crows triumphantly, and Felix grins at him from across the room as Minho looks annoyed at having been called out.
"Anyway, as we said-" You continue, threading your fingers through Chan's. "-this is a super important topic to talk and be open about, and please, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to or confide in, find someone you trust-a therapist, a friend, a sibling, a parent-"
"A stranger on the internet." Jisung adds cheekily, grinning.
You laugh. "-a stranger on the internet. Just know you don't have to struggle alone, and that there are always people who will be there for you, even if the darkness makes you doubt that."
"We love you guys." Chan adds seriously, nodding. "And I think I've said it all at this point, so let's end with another big hug."
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marshmallowprotection · 8 months ago
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Been having a really shit time lately
Is it possible to request some post-GE Suit Saeran headcanons? (I like to explore suit and ray being separate alters from saeray sometimes because I miss them as individuals so much and want to see them grow as such)
Thank you!
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Absolutely! I don't typically write them that way but I enjoy seeing the different takes on them! Just so you guys know, and I feel the need to point this out, the game never does officially confirms Saeran's mental health in terms of what he may have. We don't know if he has DID, OSDD, Bipolar, etc. So, there's no wrong way to interpret him as long as you're working to make sure whatever you're writing is done so respectfully.
Make sure to listen to people with the conditions you're writing with if you do not experience them personally, because representation is important and you do not want to demonize personality disorders or dissociative disorders. Media does that enough to people and that's harmful as it is.
We can all learn a thing or two by listening to others. I wouldn't want anyone to get things misconstrued because of the way I personally headcanon and write the characters.
When I'm writing Saeran, I write with DID in mind. I also write GE Saeran as a fusion of Ray and Suit Saeran after the events of Day 10. A lot of people get sad that I write it that way, because they feel as though those two disappear and no longer exist, within reality, they come together to create GE Saeran, or Saeray, as I lovingly call him.
Suit Saeran and Ray exist within him, because they are him, if that makes sense. Their experiences, memories, feelings, actions, all of that live on in GE Saeran. He knows them well because they were him.
Now, let me clear this up as well, the "fusion" of alters does not mean "cured". It doesn't magically make you "cured" all of a sudden. I better not see anybody spreading that kind of misinformation because that is not the case. DID will always be a part of someone with DID, it does not matter if alters have fused or not. Integration and fusion may be a goal for some systems, but it isn't for others.
It's a case by case basis.
Systems together decide what works for them, and nobody better tell them how to decide what's best for them.
Alright, now that we've cleared that up!
GE Suit Saeran is... struggling, for the lack of a better word. He told you his intention that night.
That night when he apologized for everything he ever did to you and how he wants to take accountability for it even if it takes him forever. He told himself that he would leave as best he could because it's not as if he has control over when he is fronting or not.
He wanted to minimize his contact with you as much as possible, to show you that he wants to work on himself as a person, and to heal the wounds that have been inflicted on him so that he can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Even if you accept his apology, he doesn't accept it for himself. He can't forgive himself.
That's one of the reasons why the after ending has a huge emphasis on GE Saeran working to forgive the people who hurt him. He just... perpetuated everything that was done to him by those people on to you. He learns how to forgive them so that he can forgive himself. It helps him find peace, too. To let go of the anger and move forward in life. He'll forgive but he'll never forget or look back.
In an instance where Suit Saeran and Ray exist as themselves, he would be minimizing himself as much as possible in the beginning if he could help it. After all, he told you that he knew Ray could take better care of you than he could. Ray has his own demons to work on, as well, because you also need to talk to him about accountability and how he feels about moving forward to accept what he did.
But, the difference between him and Ray is that Ray doesn't want to hurt people… and Saeran never had a qualm with hurting someone if it protected Ray or you, later on. Ray’s heart is truly gentle, and even if he’s done wrong as well, he won't hurt you... not like Saeran is very acutely afraid of doing. He knows he doesn't want to hurt you, but he also knows that he's not in a good headspace. He won't hurt you with the intention of doing so.
But, accidentally?
He could hurt you that way.
And as he is right now, he can't stomach the thought of hurting you more than he already did. Forgiven or not by you, once again, he can't forgive himself until he confronts his demons... and his way of doing that wouldn't look as close to GE Saeran's way. It'd be messier, mixed with his exhaustion, anger, and fear. He'll get there, I know he will, but it's a long road.
What would his interactions look like with you? Well, he would make a point to step away from you in the beginning and you would know why he's doing that. Every time he's around, he makes a point of giving you space, of letting you decide what you're comfortable with and what you aren't. Sometimes, you don't mind him sticking around, in fact, many of you may say that you don't mind him around at all, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants your express consent at all times to know it's okay to be there.
He is aware of everything he's done, and he's not going to corner you. He's afraid of doing that, actually.
That makes most of his interactions with you not as direct as they might have been in the past. There's a weariness about him that doesn't go away. Even when you try to talk to him, he tries to pull away, because, in his heart, he's going to feel like you're better off without him for quite a while. You have a gentle heart and so many people can abuse that.
He doesn't want to be someone like that, he doesn't want to become someone like the people who hurt him, and he can't imagine the thought of you making yourself vulnerable to him again on the off chance he has a bad day. His awareness of what he's done and what he needs to hold himself accountable for can sometimes go over the edge.
He may end up beating himself up more than anyone else would, and I imagine that sounds familiar, but what can you do? This is a difficult road... and even if he'd hate the idea of being like Jihyun Kim, there is just no denying this aspect they share. The only difference is Saeran wanting to do better and not wallow in self-misery... but it'll take him a while to figure out how to make the best choices for himself. At the very least, he wants to try.
Outside of the guilt in pain he's carrying, what good can you expect once he's found a place of peace? What can you expect after he's confronted his demons and he feels comfortable in his relationship with you? A partner who values spending time together, that’s for sure.
Saeran is happy you love him, and he doesn’t take it for granted. As hard as it is to talk about it, his favorite thing to do with you is to make meals. Far more than Ray, he likes making sure you’ve eaten well, and it’s not just to make up for what he did. He likes seeing you enjoy a meal. He likes being able to being teased by you, to feel your hand on his face as you nudge a spoon against his lips. He likes that you can do this together and it doesn't sting... it stings less and less the more you work together to make better memories.
(It was awful, horrible, and wrong. But, he later told you that not only was it meant to hurt you, it was meant to protect you, too. He knew they drugged the food with elixir and his not letting them feed you in that moment was because of his hurt and fear. It made no sense to him at the time but later on, it clicked.)
Parallel play. You don't have to be doing the same thing to enjoy time with him, and he just likes being in the same space as you. Sometimes, his health should have the two of you doing something separately so he doesn't feel as though there are odds stacked against him. He's still learning how to exist as himself, and as much as he wants to learn more about his existence by your side, he needs time to make sense of what he likes and what he doesn't like.
He wants the space to make mistakes and to learn from them by himself, but he knows if he needs help, you'll be there to help.
I will say if you want something light-hearted, the goofiest thing about him is that despite how it may seem on the surface, he's quite gullible, and you can trick him into doing quite a few things.
Of course, you should only use this for good, like getting him to try something new for dinner. In the end, he likes it when you do that, because something is empowering about knowing that you can push his buttons and stand your ground even in Normal situations. It's not that he wants you to push him around, it's just that he wants to know you can stand as his equal.
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mari-lair · 1 year ago
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For @kittytheartist-rambles
(Kannagi AU: Part 1 . Part 2)
Teru tracks them down by the bracelet he has given them, angry and worried by their reckless escape. As a kannagi, Aoi attracts supernaturals like sugars to ants, even Akane can tell fighting them all to protect Aoi would take too much time at best and kill them at worst, so he chose to run. At this point, Aoi has stopped resisting, running with him into the unknown.
Akane knows Aoi blames herself for a lot of tragedies in their lives, so he keeps it a secret that the clock is his life, not wanting her to feel like the deal he doomed himself to save her was her fault. Aoi doesnt know the clock is cursed, but she does understand the clock can stop time and it must have some limitations, since Akane wasn’t stopping the time of every monster running after them, very hesitant to use his power.
The elders made sure to hammer home that Aoi couldn’t be 'tainted’ by anyone in the village, so the only times she had touched Akane was when Akane first tried to invite her to play at 5 years old, when they tried to escape at 10, when he threatened Aoi in an attempt to make her unfit as a sacrifice at 15, and whenever Akane was unconscious and Aoi cleaned his injuries, it left her touch starved. When they reach a safe space, away from anyone’s eyes, Akane hugs her tightly, only allowing himself to process how scared he had been of failure now that he could rest,and crying in relief. Is an overwhelming whiplash from what Aoi had been prepared for, so she gets misty eyed too, happy to be alive.
Aoi knows Teru will reach them, sooner or later, even if they never sleep, but she wants to enjoy this, curling up in Akane’s lap to rest as he brushes her hair. Part of her want to kiss him, do what she had always been told she isn't allowed to, but another felt scared of getting too comfortable in this dream like moment, so they were satisfied cuddling.
Akane planned to only rest a bit, needing to grab food and find a place teru wouldn’t find them, but he end up falling asleep, having spent too much energy using the clock's power, trying to run away, and making sure no harm comes to either Aoi or himself, all while barely getting any sleep that week.
When Teru finds them, the two are curled up for warmth. It makes his frustration disappear, and his heart clenches, wanting to lay by their side and rest as well, watch over them. He watches them for a few minutes, conflicted, but ends up trapping Akane in his bracelet beads and adding seals to make sure he couldn’t escape. He then grabbed Aoi, surprised to see her struggle so hard after years of obedience and peaceful behavior, punching his arms and kicking his knee, even trying to use her bracelet on him
Their punishment for escaping should be Akane’s execution, which Teru would have been able to do a few years ago, trained for situations like these, but he can’t now, not when he will already lose Aoi, so he ties Akane to the cave ceiling and declares that he’ll get his punishment tomorrow when the sacrifice is done, which will give Teru time to make a decision.
Aoi knows the elders have given Teru permission to kill Akane, and she remembers how angry the exorcist had been when Akane showed up with the clock, but she wants to believe on his promise to look after him when she’s gone. Teru says he’ll stay by his side till his end when asked but he can’t promise Akane’s safety, he is a realist after all, even if he vouches for him, the boy will be punished for making Aoi late for her sacrifice, and giving her legs many superficial scratches from their panicked escape.
Aoi panics and tries harder to get out, yelling for the clock to stop Teru’s time, but it is no use, only Akane can use the clock, and he must be touching it to do so. Teru put protective charms on the cave entrance and takes his clock, ignoring the weight of Akane’s glare and the venon in his voice.
Aoi can’t stop crying on her death day, so they give her a drug to brainwash her, sure it would lower her fears like with every other Kannagi and make her docile as always, but while it does lower her empathy and take away all her fears, they aren’t aware she craves for more than death. She falls into the pit, but she tries to drag Teru with her. This way she will have someone dear to keep her company in the afterlife and Akane binds (fed by teru energy) will disappear, he will survive. She nearly succeeds in killing Teru, but he grabs onto the edge of the cliff at the last moment and manages to climb back to the surface.
Teru showed the elders the cursed clock when his competence came into question, shutting them up, and surprising everyone that a peasant like Akane got help from the keeper of time. Teru kept the clock hidden and safe, aware it was connected to his lifespan, and lied that it had been destroyed and Akane have died for his crimes, deciding he would keep him safe and away from the village.
Teru visits his family for the first time in a while, reconnecting with his dear siblings with a mix of joy and a heavy heart, and sneaks out at night. When he frees Akane from the cave, he let the boy punch him a few times, sitting by his side with a broken nose when he curls up in grief. Teru shares this overwhelming sense of loss, but is unable to cry or say anything, since this is his fault.
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stuffyflowers · 5 months ago
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What do you think Ceroba does after a Neutral run where you kill Starlo? Does she ever accept that you really did it? Does she end up tumbling into an even worse mental state? Does she ever get support from, like, the remaining Feisty Four?
ohhhhhh that’s a LOADED question i could absolutely ramble abt this.
I might as well drop my answer in the “does she know?” poll: im a “she has a hunch but doesn’t act on it” truther.
After weeks (or maybe even just days) of searching, she’s the first to come to the realisation that he’s not missing, he’s dead. She knows him better than anyone, she knows that even in his lowest moment he would never disappear for this long. In general she’s also just the most grounded monster in the wild east: while the others can indulge themselves in hope and optimism that he’ll return, she can just face reality and know the odds are definitely stacked against starlo being alive at this point
She would eventually accept that clover did it, too. It was a thought itching at the back of her mind ever since she first saw them on the cliffs, just… standing there. Only now is she ready to put the pieces together, who else could have possibly done it? The four were angry at him, but they were all still close friends just going through a rough patch. Clover, though? From the very beginning of their wild east journey, she had suspected they weren’t really… into it. They were being basically held there against their will, after all. If anyone would be willing to pull the trigger on star, it would be them.
And I imagine she would develop a guilt complex over this, of course. I’ve mentioned a lot before that she has a tendency to blame herself for things even when its out of her control, notably how she says she let chujin work himself to death when chujin is the one that intentionally hid everything from her, including the warning signs that his life was at risk. This would extend to star, I think. Her entire role in the wild east is as an observer, she watches over clover and encourages them to come to a peaceful resolution with starlo by playing along. When she leaves him, just like the four, she willingly left star alone with someone she knows could cause him significant harm (“humans are dangerous”, of course.). ESPECIALLY if we assume this is on a neutral route where ceroba already knew clovers soul is impure and thus had killed monsters before. What was she thinking??? How could she allow herself to set boundaries and leave him alone??? Who cares if what he said hurt her feelings, her feelings don’t matter. She should have been there to protect him.
So uh. Yeah. Definitely falls into a worse mental state. Losing the only person she was still close to, and in her mind it was all her fault, just like in chujin and kanakos case. She could have put a stop to his killer, too, but she didn’t. This is her new rock bottom.
I’ve already rambled on so long but uh feisty four uhhhh… honestly idk if they’d be able to do much for her. She isn’t close to them, really. Not enough for her to consider them her friends, apparently (“Starlo was the only friend I had left”). Ceroba would probably have trouble finding support in general as at this point she’s still hiding so much from everyone in relation to her family and the mission she had been left with. Letting her guard down to talk about how stars death affected her would mean having to talk about them, as well. Ceroba is stubborn, too, so I think it would be a long time before she truly lets herself get support from anyone
… and I think itd be more likely from crestina and solomon, tbh. She doesn’t talk much to the four, but she does talk to stars parents a lot, esp in relation to star himself. They’re the first ones she goes to consult abt stars disappearance, too. I think if anyone was able to get her to open up and get the support she desperately needs, it would be them.
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foxydivaxx · 1 year ago
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Zosan- Look What You Made Me Do
Naming this after a Taylor Swift song makes sense tbh. Yes, this is the villain Sanji story.
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Zoro has made an observation about Sanji lately. Although the cook still maintains that mask of his, dancing around Nami and Robin and cooking as usual. But something feels off. Almost as though all the warmth within him is slowly disappearing. Considering the latest tragedy in his life which is the destruction of the Baratie and the deaths of the cooks and Zeff at the ends of the Charlotte family and Germa, it is not surprising. 
He remembers the day they got the news via a newspaper. The others tried to hide it from the cook but eventually, he found out and he lost his shit. He wanted to go to war with his family that day. This was before he was forced into marrying that Pudding girl. The fact that Sanji abandoned the girl after completing their mission and even said in the most scathing tone that she was trash is shocking. Considering the girl's actions, she deserves every form of hate.
Now months later and at a glance, tensions seemed to have calmed down. But as time went on, Sanji began to snap and get pissed off by the littlest of things. At first, he thought he was seeing things. But after some mediation sessions, he realized how right he was. Something happened to the cook. He started realizing it after the debacle with his family and past and also after their trip to Wano.
Sure, it is a sort of a welcome change to see him, no nosebleed every few seconds whenever they pop up. He still flirts. But it just does not feel the same. Usopp has been noticing that Sanji has been distancing himself recently. He does his normal job but only reserves flirting for meals. Even the flirting has reduced drastically. Once meals are done, he just stays in his lane.
Did some woman break his heart? But then again, a lot of women have turned him down over the years. So he doubts that is the problem. That leaves only one thing; his powers. Maybe the cook fears that he could become like the rest of his biological family. Only one way to find out.
Once everyone had gone in after dinner, he headed over to the cook’s room. Usually, he would knock. But today was not the time. So he just opens the door and walks in. The blonde was going through a book whilst lying down on the bed. 
He looks up, an icy glare in place. “Why the fuck did you just barge into my room, you shitty swordsman?!”
His fiery temper was still there. “Listen, we need to talk.” Sanji raises an eyebrow and puts his book away. Now that is unusual. On a good day, Zoro would not even bother himself because as far as Sanji was concerned, Sanji was a nuisance to him and he just tolerated him for his cooking and fighting skills, skills he often questioned.
“About what?”
Here goes nothing. “You been acting weirdly cook.”
This took Sanji aback. Why would Zoro care for him?“What do you mean? Like I am perfectly fine, mosshead. No need for anyone to worry about me.”
“You are hiding something.”
“I AM HIDING NOTHING YOU STUPID SHITBAG!!”
“Yes, you are!! And I will not rest till I get the truth out of you!!”
This irritates Sanji even more. “AND WHY THE FUCK WILL YOU CARE ALMIGHTY ZORO WHO CAN MOW ANYONE WITH THREE SWORDS?!!”
“You are a part of this crew, goddammit!”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Besides, why are you pushing so hard for this?! I never mattered to you or anyone on here!!”
Now we are getting somewhere. “Who says?”
Sanji looks away. ���Let’s just say my excessive flirting has caused more harm than good.” 
Bingo. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
“Look, it ain’t my fault!! Considering how I was raised and shit, I just do not know how to control myself.”
“That is not just it hm Cook?”
“SERIOUSLY SHUT THE FUCK UP MARIMO!! AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL IN MY FUCKING ROOM?!! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS?!! LIKE FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
“Not until you fess up perv cook.”
It was at this point that something changes within Sanji, something that shocks Zoro. Sanji gets up and soon his entire body gets consumed by flames. His eyes are now blank and a pair of devil horns appear on his head. 
“You know nothing Marimo….” His voice now sounded distorted, demonic. Before Zoro knew what was happening, Sanji vanished from the room in the blink of an eye. Stunned, he immediately rushes out and looks for the cook. Not a sign of him.
He immediately alerts the rest of the crew and tells them what has just happened. "WHAT?!" Luffy exclaimed in shock. "Maybe his father did something to him. Like some experiment and he was not aware of it.?" Robin suggested.
"Maybe that could explain why he reacted that way. Whatever that strange power is, it is slowly consuming him," says Chopper. "We have to find him before he destroys himself and the world," says Usopp.
"But where do we even start?" Brook asked. "I hate to suggest this, but we may have to have a word with a certain family."
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saltymcsaltything · 9 months ago
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I know I am conditioned by trauma to see red flags everywhere and assume the worst of anyone I don't know and trust because experience has shown that it's the safer default, so it's very hard not to see malice and contempt in the behavior and words of @photomatt
But I am trying to turn that off enough to appeal to reason, because in reflecting on his most recent posts in particular, I think it's possible, however much my instincts scream otherwise, that he's just ignorant of what the trans community experiences and actually can't understand why we see his words and actions as harmful and transphobic.
This entire debacle keeps making me think of the double empathy problem - he cannot possibly understand the truly vile hate and abuse we are exposed to on this site or the lengths even small blogs have to go to in order to curate our experience into something that feels remotely safe. Many of us have been physically and sexually assaulted because of our gender and we are at risk of being murdered. TERFs on this site *gleefully celebrate the deaths of trans people including children* and actively target people with a history of self harm and suicidal ideation. That is the context of trans lives that has him painting us as toxic for mocking him and his overreaction to 'threats' that most of us wouldn't even bat an eye at. I don't doubt that anons and DMs have been sent to him that are far worse than the hammer car thing, but he's still only seeing a tiny sliver of the hate levelled against trans people. Maybe if he considers how what he is experiencing happens every day ending with Y for any trans blogger with a sizeable following and that Tumblr's track record for taking action against that is beyond abysmal, he might snap out of this pattern of centering himself over the user's who have been pushed past their breaking point by the years of failure in addressing biased moderation and complete lack of visible action against hate speech. If he does, maybe there's an opportunity to actually see something positive come from this.
@photomatt, I am going to attempt to put aside my visceral aversion to so much of what you've said and done over the last few days and try to get you to understand *why* you've faced the backlash you have, because it is clear you do not really understand our experiences and cannot empathize with them. And please don't claim that you do, your actions and tone towards us say otherwise and it's insulting to watch you claim allyship when you have contributed to the harm we endure on a daily basis. You need to sit with th knowledge that you have hurt us because of your ignorance, reflect, and start actually listening to us. Stop centering yourself and work to see what your actions, words, and the past and present failures of Tumblr as an organization have done to the trans community. Keep in mind that you admitted to having a contract moderator that was actively targeting us and colluding with others to do the same, and understand that the harm done by that didn't disappear when they were dealt with - if anything disclosing that ripped open gaping wounds, and your actions since have poured salt in them.
I doubt this is worth the effort at this point since you seem to have fully entrenched your defensiveness and your framing of a community in the current political climate that is constantly under threat of actual, life threatening physical violence for the crime of existing as "toxic", but if you have even an ounce of humility and genuine desire to support us, I hope you'll consider taking a step back and reflecting on your recent behavior from the perspective of users who have seen communities they have painstakingly built on Tumblr where we had a modicum of safety repeatedly decimated by disastrous policies and practices, and who have for years been actively targeted by bigots who want to see us erased from existence and openly brag about their attacks. Put yourself in the shoes not of a CEO but someone who's existence is under theat on multiple levels on a daily basis, and then read the way that you, the most powerful person on the platform talks about a member of the community who was the target of a malicious campaign of harassment, mass reporting, hate speech, vile accusations and death threats. Try to see what we see - especially the avoidance of the biggest issue for the community, which is the harassment campaign that TERFs are gloating about in the notes of your posts.
Behavior is communication, and your behavior feels *abusive* given your position of power in the context of what we face on a daily basis. Users desperate for a scrap of hope that the common threats that we are faced with on this platform might be dealt with in a meaningful way saw the most powerful person on the platform focusing solely on the "violations" of a single user who was being brigaded by one of the most vitriolic and toxic groups on the platform. Not addressing the harassment being visited on her spoke volumes - it told us you *do not care* about the harm that is done to us on a daily basis by bad actors, but you absolutely care about whats directed at you and @staff. While I sympathize with line level employees who are caught in the cross fire of the backlash you incited with your ignorance and callous disregard for a community that is routinely traumatized, I don't have much empathy to spare for those in leadership who have a level of power and privilege no ordinary user on this platform comes close to having, especially after witnessing how quickly you will wield that power to protect *your* in-group and yourself from a *sliver* of the abuse the trans community endures on a daily basis. It was sickening witnessing how quickly blogs mocking you were banned when people who have done *far worse* to us for years have been able to do so with impunity under your watch when all it would take us for you to look at a single report of the hate and abuse we report and wield the same ban hammer against people who should have been held accountable *years* ago. Knowing you would do for you and yours but not for us is utterly depressing.
And it's not only the trans community dealing with hate speech, death threats and harassment, but in this instance that was who your behavior was harming when you showed what you were capable of doing to protect your people when the issue you repeatedly failed to address but clearly could have was the *massive* flood of hate that the trans community repeatedly reports but sees scant evidence of any response. If there *is* meaningful action in the background, the lack of transparency makes it meaningless because from our perspective there isn't anything being dive to address mass coordinated harassment campaigns that *should* be easy to mask since so much of it is copy/paste anon hate spammed in asks. You claim standard policy is to not comment on moderation decisions but then decided to make an exception in this instance to, from our perspective, shit on a victim of a targeted smear campaign and make claims about their behavior that did not match the evidence you made available, while invoking law enforcement action against someone who is at increased risk of police violence and then doubling down on how much *you and your people* were being hurt when criticized for failing to address the entire situation and for centering your own feelings over an entire community who's suffering on your platform you fail to acknowledge.
Make an exception and tell us what you've actually done to address transphobic harassment. Not doing so when you made an exception to talk about the victim of one of their campaigns is a bad look and is part of why you are being accused of upholding and enabling systemic transphobia. Sticking to your policy of silence for transphobes but making an exception to talk about a banned trans user looks pretty biased,and given the well documented track record of Tumblr when it comes to bias against the LGBTQIA+ community, it's a really bad look. As CEO you should be sufficiently cognizant of the history of these issues and the ongoing problems with moderation to recognize how easy it is for users which have been conditioned to expect the worst to see this as biased. You desperately need to gain some perspective before putting your keystrokes out there on these issues
Your behavior has hurt vulnerable people. It has made people feel unsafe. You're angry about being called a transphobe, but your actions have harmed the trans community and your inaction in addressing those targeting us looks like tacit approval of their behavior. If you cannot clearly and unequivocally commit to take action against the transphobic harassment we face from malicious users on the platform, then your inaction creates and upholds systemic transphobia. Your intentions and principles are immaterial when the impact is harmful. If that hurts you so much to be called out for upholding and enabling transphobia, *do something about it*
I don't think you can be reached at this point and I am not even sure that assuming your intentions are not deliberately malicious is even reasonable, but I would sure like to be proven wrong for once.
But I won't hold my breath. Long before this situation I had blocked you for your ableist behavior regarding forced animations. Suggesting that disabled users could simply pay for premium features in order to have a safe user experience was a stunningly insensitive take. That comment belied your ignorance of the potentially fatal effects of visually triggered seizure disorders and the widespread prevalence and debilitating symptoms of other visually triggered conditions like vertigo and migraine. Your embrace of the prevailing societal opinion that actually, making disabled people pay more to exist at every possible opportunity is just good business was disheartening and caused me to write you off as a fake ally. All you have done recently is provide further evidence that my suspicions were well founded, and at this point if you don't wake up and start actually working to address your failures instead of becoming defensive and painting people you have hurt as toxic, you won't have any users left on this site but the transphobes you are protecting, inadvertently or otherwise. I guarantee other communities are watching you closely and spotting the sane red flags that the disability and trans communities have. You have a lot of work to do to repair the damage you've inflicted and to start actually fixing the problems that have plagued this site for years. None of us are going to want to support this site financially ever again if you continue to behave like this, so your threats to abandon Tumblr are toothless because people are already leaving. You have a chance to salvage this situation if you are actually willing to do the work, and then maybe you can actually monetize things on here in a way that doesn't alienate the user base so that people are actually happy to support the platform.
If you actually believe in the principles you posted, actively work to uphold them *here* take action to protect and support the trans community instead of stepping on a landmine you easily could have avoided by seeking perspective before responding. Prove that you are actually doing something about Nazis and transphobes - give us an option to report transphobic hate speech specifically and release metrics - reports submitted and actions taken. Hell, release metrics on all of the reports - some of those mass reporting campaigns should be pretty easy to spot.
Please actually give a shit about users. You have a great deal of power and you have welded it against vulnerable people. However justified you may feel in doing so, you're still contributing to harm, and you should rethink the way you respond because it makes you appear vindictive and capricious.
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mozillavulpix · 1 year ago
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So okay, a bit delayed but
the things about the Rain Code ending that confuse me (story and gameplay-wise)
Because I actually really enjoyed the ending but there’s a few parts that I legitimately don’t know why they did it like that, it almost feels like weird game and script oversights
So the final chapter of Rain Code has Very Big Danganronpa vibes.
The main reason being that at the end of the day, it comes down to the protagonist being forced to make an impossible choice.
The choices being:
a) Yuma reaps Makoto’s soul in the Mystery Labyrinth to uncover the truth (and escape the labyrinth he’s stuck in), but this means having to reveal the truth that everyone living in Kanai Ward is a homunculus that’ll turn into a mindless flesh-eating zombie if they’re exposed to sunlight. So they’re vampire zombies.
b) Yuma lets Makoto go, allowing him to keep them in relative safety under the artificial rain cloud where they’re in no danger of harming anyone, but that means Yuma can’t leave the Mystery Labyrinth since the mystery won’t be uncovered and his soul will eventually be consumed from staying there for too long.
Of course, in typical Danganronpa fashion, Yuma chooses the secret third option.
c) He lets Makoto go, but tells him he trusts him to tell the residents the truth himself. If that happens, the mystery of Kanai Ward will no longer be a mystery, so the Mystery Labyrinth will disappear on its own and he’ll be freed.
On paper this is a nice ending, but it’s done kind of weirdly?
1. The game actually physically makes you make the decision of either “Destroy the Labyrinth” or “Remain in the Labyrinth”, but it actually doesn’t matter what decision you make. Even though Yuma’s decision really does come down to “Remain in the Labyrinth”, even if you choose to destroy the labyrinth, the game will act like you chose to remain. I guess it’s because ‘Yuma asks someone to destroy it from the outside’ isn’t exactly either of those choices, but also the game treats it like this is a decision to “Remain” first and foremost.
This is especially weird compared to Danganronpa Ultra Despair Girls and V3. In those games, they give you the option to physically decide between the choices, and if you don’t do what the protagonist chooses to do (ie: “Don’t break the controller” and “Refuse to vote”), you get a nonstandard game over. But that’s not the case in this one. It’s just baffling because they didn’t need to give you the ability to make the choice if it doesn’t actually do anything.
2. It kind of contradicts itself on whether or not Yuma was choosing to sacrifice himself. 
On the one hand, he acts like there’s no way that Makoto would be able to destroy the Mystery Labyrinth on the outside in time before his soul is destroyed. So is the point that he’s choosing to give up his life for the hope that Makoto will find a better solution? Even if that’s the case, he is still resigned he’ll die, so it doesn’t even feel like the game is making him choose a “third option” at all.
But then just as he’s waiting to die, Shinigami suddenly tells him that there’s an emergency exit that he can use to leave the Labyrinth whenever he wanted. She offhand mentions it in an earlier chapter, but you had probably forgotten about it. I guess she didn’t want to bring it up until there was no other option because doing that breaks their contact, meaning he can never use her power again, but also...Shinigami, shouldn’t you have told Yuma while he was still deliberating on that choice? She’s completely silent when he has to make the decision, saying it’s all up to him, but like...coming-of-age story aside, don’t you think you should tell him important details like that before he chooses? Because the game seems to say that Yuma definitely didn’t remember that option.
3. Yuma gets his memories back as a consequence of choosing to break the contract with Shinigami and I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a good or bad outcome.
Because on the one hand, Yuma’s lost memories are that he’s Number One of the World Detective Organisation, that he’s literally the greatest detective in the world and is said to have the “world’s greatest mind”.
But on the other hand, himself as Number One seemed a bit unhinged and you’d also think Yuma would be conflicted over whether getting back those memories would fundamentally change the person he’s become over the course of the game.
Like, the main thing is the game spends zero time discussing the implications of this if he uses the emergency exit. Yuma is more concerned and upset about the fact breaking the contract means losing his memories of Shinigami. Which is fine, it’s a nice way to end it, but...are you worried about getting your old memories back or not? He literally doesn’t say. It’s like just a side-effect of losing Shinigami and they don’t bring it up at all.
It gives me major Danganronpa 2 vibes, but comparing it to Danganronpa 2 confuses me more than anything. Because in Danganronpa 2, it was clear that Hajime having to wake up as Izuru would risk destroying his entire sense of self. It was only through Hajime’s sheer determination that he changed the rules to force his personality to remain even after the choice was made. We also had a whole epilogue narrated by Hajime that gives an unambiguous answer that he chooses to live as Hajime once the story is over. In contrast, we barely know anything about what Yuma actually *is* at the end of the game. We know he’s choosing to be a detective, but that’d be the case whether he was Number One or Yuma Kokohead. We also don’t know if he has some kind of detective super-brain like Izuru or...Makoto. He just gives Kurumi a letter saying he’s leaving on a journey, and he’s in a place with mysteries, but he doesn’t do any actions on-screen to give us an idea of how competent he is.
Like, at least give Number One a different eye colour or something. It makes no sense that amnesia would change your eye colour to begin with, but this is a game with vampire zombies and a death god that can turn into an anime girl. Realism is not their priority here. It’d help give a clear way to tell the difference between the personalities. Hajime doesn’t show his eyes in the epilogue of Danganronpa 2, but Danganronpa 3 gives him hetereochromia just to nail in that his personality is some sort of combination between the two. Or even just a different outfit. Or a different hat. Why did make him look identical as Number One? It makes it all the more confusing.
anyway, I still enjoyed it. I think it was actually a less confusing ending than Danganronpa V3. At least it was clear on what things were real and what things mattered. 
But I just find it weird because these issues all have very simple fixes. Change the way the player has to make the ‘choice’ at the end. Have Shinigami bring up the emergency exit before that. And make Number One have some noticeable difference to Yuma so we know who he is at the epilogue there. I don’t know why they didn’t do it like that.
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greetingfromthedead · 8 months ago
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C54: Experimented
For more information on the series (tags, CW, etc) click the banner!
Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit
Chapter: 54/84
Words: 1.8k
No particular warnings for this chapter.
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You ended up spending a large portion of the day with Luida. She just swept you up in a way; she made you so comfortable; she was soft spoken and kind, making it so easy to get lost in the conversation. She talked about young Vash to you, and it made you chuckle. He has always had this kindness and curiosity about him. Before you knew it, Luida had done a full physical on you and ran more tests. You intrigued her with your nature. Vash was sent off with your blessing to keep Brad company and to make sure he doesn't lose his mind. Luida observed your rapid healing when removing needles and refused to go any further, even when you offered that she could nick you with a scalpel. Despite all that, you did give yourself a few little bruises with your fingers for her to observe.
"It's all so fascinating. I wonder how it ties in to our sensor and that ordeal." She wondered out loud as she made notes on the tablet. "How is your head doing?"
"Hurting a little, but nothing too bad. The buzzing inside the scull is nearly drowned out by the buzzing outside," you joke as a multitude of machines are working all around you.
"I wonder what exactly causes those headaches. With you having very rapid healing and all that. It is perfectly reasonable to have a headache after all you've been through. I'd like to take a look at that brain of yours if you don't mind."
"I'm not going to offer to take it out... I don't think Vash would be happy," you laugh.
"No!" Luida tries to sound disapproving of your joke, but laughs nonetheless: "We have technology for that."
"I trust you to the point that you can stick me anywhere." You smile because it's the truth. She has your complete trust; you know she means you no harm, and all she does is for your benefit.
"In that case, I have a few ideas." She points at more of her equipment and gets into elaborate detail on how they work and what they do.
You spend a few more hours in the laboratory; if anything, it is fun for you, even if Luida doesn't really make any new breakthroughs. Vash does stop by a few times, but gets shooed away by Luida when he gets in the way, like when he tried to take your hand while you were lying on a table on your way into a tube.
"Also... did you notice the medications I gave you making any difference? I know it might be hard to say; don't worry about it if you don't know." Luida asks as she offers you her hand to get off a table.
"I'm really not sure; I slept through them, but I guess that was their point," you ponder.
"Vash said you have immunity to poisons." Luida starts marking down more things on her tablet, and at the moment she looks exactly like a scientist you would imagine in your mind if you were asked to picture one.
"I can't say with absolute certainty; I have tried a few and they didn't do anything, but I guess if one is potent enough or my body weakened, who could say..."
"Most medicine is poison; in controlled dosages, it does more good than harm. I actually gave you Plant medicine; we haven't had to use it on anyone but Vash since the very early days because he took care of the Plants, but the equipment given from Earth included Plant medicine, mostly meant to calm them in case of distress. I gave you a small dosage of it. I'm unsure if they have any effect on you at all, or maybe the dose was too low due to your healing factor... Either way, I thought you would want to know."
Once again, time passes by unnoticed in the laboratory. All you've found out so far is that your blood turns into ashes when out of your body, and all other parts seem to disappear in a mysterious way or perhaps change into pure carbon. But that doesn't dampen your spirit. You are happy to spend time with a human, one from the Space Age, someone who remembers the time before. Luida talks about her experiences on Earth, and it makes you glad.
Vash walks into the lab more carefully this time, determined not to get sent away by Luida. The first thing he notices is your laugh; it melts his heart and brings a smile to his face. He is glad you get along with Luida, and he is happy that one of his oldest friends has a new person to talk to. He hears the elderly woman laugh, and as his eyes look for where the noises are coming from, his eyebrows move together into a confused frown.
"Vash!" you exclaim cheerfully, and he turns his head to the side.
"Would either of you explain what's going on?" He asks kindly, but the confusion and concern are clear in his expression.
"Oh, don't worry, I'm only strapped in because otherwise I would fall off the table." You explain your situation.
"I understand that, but it doesn't explain why you are upside down." Vash clarifies as he comes closer.
"Oh, you're right." you chuckle, "Well, I've had the same little headache for a while, and we wanted to try and find out where it comes from. I shouldn't have a headache due to the healing factor, but here it is. So we would like to compare it to a more classical headache, but it's quite hard to cause something like that in me. We hoped that excess blood in the brain might do the trick, but so far it has honestly made the other headache go away, and it makes me laugh."
Vash contorts his body more to try and see eye to eye with you without having you backwards.
"The other option is to try and give me a strong enough concussion that it won't be healed before I get into the machine." You smile at him.
"I would rather have you strapped to a table..." Vash sounds thoughtful. "Have the two of you eaten anything all day? I know your answer, Iris, but Luida, you should take care of your health too."
"You're right. We should take a break." Luida steps closer to the table where you lay, still giggling as you look at Vash. "I also have a different idea for a test; I haven't been able to conduct it before, and it might give us more insight into how your Plant connection works... and it might give us more clarity about the signals we've picked up from Iris with the sensor... All in all, very valuable data if the two of you would be willing to provide it. How is Brad? He would probably like to be part of this one."
"What test do you have in mind?" Vash smiles as you reach out to him and squeeze his cheeks in such a way that his next words come out a bit muffled: "I convinced Brad to go to sleep after he had some dinner. He made progress, but it's a waiting game now."
"Alright, maybe another day then. But I would like to do a brain scan while your Plantness is activated, marks and all. It's a unique opportunity for this, as I think neither of you currently has the capability to activate them on your own."
"We have no control over it. Every time it happens because of some crisis, I think it's subconscious. We could try if Iris is up for it, but I don't know how to do any of this on command."
"You could try mushing your forehead against mine!" You chuckle again. "Sync your brain waves! Think Planty thoughts! Or I could sing you a lullaby! That's what I did that one time... but I think only you glowed... or maybe I glowed somewhere else... I was too busy admiring you! But I don't think I glowed."
"Luida..." Vash straightens up a bit but squats down to be at eye level with you. "Is she drunk?"
"Funny you mentioned this!" Luida sounds happy. "I haven't given her anything, but her brain does seem to think she is drunk. Started to light up the same parts of the brain as drunkenness about 10 minutes after she started being upside down."
"Wait..." he says, looking over to Luida. "How long has she been hanging like this?!"
"About an hour," you grin, hands grabbing at his coat.
"That's enough. Get down!" There's concern in his voice: "You might think that you're indestructible, but you should still take care of yourself!"
"Don't be so dramatic! You should try this! It's fun!" you insist with a slight laugh.
"Luida... help me out. Please!" Vash pleads, and the older woman gives a slight chuckle before moving the bed to a horizontal position and unstrapping you.
"I feel the blood sloshing!" Your eyes are wide, but you spring up from the bed, Vash ready to catch you. "So... food?
"Yes, we should go get food, love." His arm wraps around your waist.
"She is fascinating." Luida calmly chimes in as she puts away the tablet. "From what I've found out, her bone density is higher, probably to protect her from accidentally hurting herself with her enhanced strength; otherwise, she might just snap something. Her metabolism is fast; she converts food into energy very quickly; everything is fast about her: her reaction speed, the way her brain functions, and her body itself. Also, her senses are heightened—eyesight, smell, hearing, and taste too! I'm unsure if it's an innate ability of hers and the Plant DNA enhanced what she already had or if it's completely thanks to the Plant powers. Sadly, I am not knowledgeable enough about genetic makeup and stuff like that. We could wake a specialist."
"Let's not, at least for now." You smile back at her. "It doesn't matter as significantly to me; it's not so much how my body functions; I'm more after the knowledge of what happened to make me this way. But you are so smart! You said you're a flora researcher, yet you operated all that medical machinery and understood what's happening!"
"I was trained in the basics; I think it's comparable to you getting combat training; I got medical. And then there was our specialty. Also, getting put in charge of Home comes with its own challenges, one of which is that I need to know a little bit of everything. I learned a lot from the medics before they went to sleep again."
"I can't believe how things played out after the crash... How ironic. I was meant to be the one to help everyone settle in and to help them survive, but in reality, I was nowhere to be found... I wandered off into this sandy Hell." Your voice has a note of sadness.
"Nobody can blame you for that." Vash's arm tightens around you, pulling you a bit closer, but he knows it's not enough to erase the guilt you must feel.
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visioncursed · 2 months ago
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Name: Jamie Miller Occupation: Street Artist Age: 24 Sexuality: Queer Species: Witch Clan/Pack/Coven?: Augury  Hometown: Port Leiry Relationship Status: Single Personality Traits: Adaptable / Idealistic / Empathetic Cynical / Self-Destructive / Impulsive
Biography
Jamie loved magic as a child; a member of the Augury since birth, she had always been surrounded by all forms divination and everything that came with it. She still remembers watching her elders read tarot and tea leaves to wide-eyed customers and the feeling of hope for the future that everyone left with from their circle. Sadly, that childish fascination wouldn't last. Jamie did study magic throughout her teens and was determined to follow her coven's path, but magic wasn't kind to her as it was to the rest of her family; for Jamie, divination came in bursts, often screaming at her while she was sleeping. It wasn't hopeful, but more akin to terrifying omens that stayed with her for weeks on end. Her portents were always easily dismissed, too. Why would they not? What experience did she have with divination anyway? And since when were visions this direct and accurate? These were probably just nightmares of a teenager far too invested in that kind of magic, anyway. She'd grow up and learn real magic soon enough. They didn't live long enough to watch her grow up, however. Jamie had dreamed about the fire that would bring their home down, and she had tried to talk to her elders about it, but no one listened — "fire is a portent of renewal, child. You must learn to interpret your visions". She was the only one who wasn't at the house that night, though whether it was out of dumb luck or because she could feel the fire coming, she didn't know. Jamie was 14 years old when that happened. With some luck and with the help of some family friends in the right places, she avoided the system to instead live with some remaining witches from her coven — the ones that didn't accuse her of starting the fire herself. Her interest in magic almost disappeared completely in the following years, unsurprisingly. Her nightmares now included both omens and horrible memories of what had happened — what she had let happen. It wasn't just the fire, it was all of the visions she had had before that she hadn't done anything to stop from coming true. She began to experiment with just about everything to stop herself from dreaming. From herbs, to harder drugs, to magic, to simply not sleeping at all. Those were radical measures, but Jamie couldn't bear the idea of having more premonitions that she couldn't do anything about. They never fully went away. Even as Jamie distanced herself from magic, as she forced herself to stop dreaming, a vision still forces its way through, most of the time subtle enough even for her to notice until it's too late. Today, Jamie paints for a living in the streets of Port Leiry, not too far from the witches reading palms for easy money. She does her best to make a living for herself without relying on anyone, harming anyone, hoping her art will bring the same kind of joy that saw when she was a kid, still unaware that day after day, her dreams are making their way into her art.
Wanted
SURVIVOR - A survivor of the fire that killed her family (or similar event), still harboring resentment towards Jamie for believing she was responsible for what happened. CLIENT - They bought a painting from Jamie, only for something to happen to them that was eerily similar to her art. They are understandably freaked out and questioning Jamie about it. DEVIL IN HER EAR - Someone (Hunter/Vampire/Werewolf) with a strong desire to eliminate witches altogether and who has found in Jamie a way to take them all from the inside — as long as they ensure that her magic will be gone once they're done.
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cannibalisticdespair · 6 months ago
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Hmmm, no prompt this time.
Claims of immorality without material harm to point to are bullshit and originate in religious thought. Now, this does also include "they have every intent to do material harm and just haven't done it yet", ala Nazis, but the immorality is still coming from the material harm being done. If someone has no intent to do material harm and has not done material harm, you can't justifiably label it immoral. The only "immorality" present is that you don't like it, and that's a fucking stupid barometer of morality. That's why every group that tries to promote some concept must invent some objective universal arbiter of morality who doesn't like it. And when they don't, they just resort to "but it might cause material harm at some point!" And that's even dumber, tbh.
Like, what couldn't cause material harm? Reality is fucking weird. Here's an example:
Tandey, a native of Warwickshire, took part in the First Battle of Ypres in October 1914 and the Battle of the Somme in 1916, where he was wounded in the leg. After being discharged from the hospital, he was transferred to the 9th Battalion in France and was wounded again during the Third Battle of Ypres at Passchendaele in the summer of 1917. From July to October 1918, Tandey served with the 5th Duke of Wellington Regiment; it was during this time that he took part in the successful British capture of Marcoing, for which he earned a Victoria Cross for “conspicuous bravery.” As Tandey later told sources, during the final moments of that battle, as the German troops were in retreat, a wounded German soldier entered Tandey’s line of fire. “I took aim but couldn’t shoot a wounded man,” Tandey remembered, “so I let him go.” The German soldier nodded in thanks, and disappeared. Though sources do not exist to prove the exact whereabouts of Adolf Hitler on that day in 1918, an intriguing link emerged to suggest that he was in fact the soldier Tandey spared. A photograph that appeared in London newspapers of Tandey carrying a wounded soldier at Ypres in 1914 was later portrayed on canvas in a painting by the Italian artist Fortunino Matania glorifying the Allied war effort. As the story goes, when British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain traveled to Germany in 1938 to engage Hitler in a last-ditch effort to avoid another war in Europe, he was taken by the führer to his new country retreat in Bavaria. There, Hitler showed Chamberlain his copy of the Matania painting, commenting, “That’s the man who nearly shot me.” The authenticity of the Tandey-Hitler encounter remains in dispute, though evidence does suggest that Hitler had a reproduction of the Matania painting as early as 1937—a strange acquisition for a man who had been furious and devastated by the German defeat at Allied hands in the Great War. Twice decorated as a soldier, Hitler was temporarily blinded by a mustard gas attack in Belgium in October 1918 and was in a military hospital in Pacewalk, Germany, when he received news of the German surrender. The experiences of battle—first glory and ultimately disillusion and despondence—would color the rest of Hitler’s life and career, as he admitted in 1941, after leading his country into another devastating conflict: “When I returned from the War, I brought back home with me my experiences at the front; out of them I built my National Socialist community.”
So, if you accept this as true, not shooting a wounded man in the back could cause genocide. Should we start shooting the wounded in the back, just on the off chance they end up being Hitler? Reality is fucking weird, you can't predict the outcome of things.
Hey, anyone's abusers ever get stopped from committing suicide before they did that abuse? I mean, yes, obviously, that's just a statistical certainty. So blindly stopping people from committing suicide could lead to someone being abused. Does that make it bad? No. Obviously not! You can't predict what's going to lead to material harm! If someone hasn't done it and is not expressing the intent of doing it, you can't try to preemptively strike on the possibility that it could happen because of a thing, because if you try to actually follow that logic to any conclusion, it completely implodes in a massive ball of fire as you try to weigh whether you might save someone's life only for them to go on to abuse someone later on.
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addictwoapen · 1 year ago
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7:22am (feels like 3:42am)
I never thought I'd live past the age of maybe 18 or 19. I just. Stopped thinking about what would come after.
This doesn't mean I wasn't making plans. But it never had that tangible feeling like the one you experience when a concert for your favorite band is three weeks away. Or when you have a camping trip planned with your dad in the summer and the first hint of spring is finally breaking through the cracks.
When I got to college, I knew I was going to attend grad school. I knew it would be a longer road of education than most of my friends at the time, who were all going to be done in four years, while I had seven to go. But for some reason, while I was making these plans, it had never occurred to me that they were so very real.
I start working with my first round of clients next semester. It will be my first time practicing as a counselor for college students, and I am terrified, but I am also prepared.
They will not be the first people I have talked off the ledge.
15-year-old me did it for the first time her sophomore year of high school. Her friend was threatening to take a bottle of extra-strength ibuprofen and drown herself in the tub. Young me was so overwhelmed that she had panic attacks during her tennis matches. Her vision would tunnel and her memory would fail. A protection technique, they say, that the brain uses to shield you from harm.
16-year-old me did it again for a friend who was self-harming. He sent her pictures of his actively bleeding wrists with no follow-up. And while she sat in her parent's basement trying to figure out her geometry homework, her heart sunk and a slew of texts were sent to make sure he was okay.
17-year-old me did it again for a friend who would often say "goodbye" and turn of her phone. To see if anyone cared about her. Present-day me knows now that she was just struggling. She just needed help. But what a horrible way to live, to have a friend you called your best one disappear and insinuate she's ending her life.
This was all too much for young me. She had her own severe anxiety that prevented her from being able to say what she wanted and be who she is. She had her own depression that consumed her at night and made the world feel like it was ending. She never thought she would get through it. She was just living one day at a time and hoping for the best.
And to be fair. Adult me feels the same at times. Young me is still current me, but god does she feel like she has aged so much in the last few years. I guess what they say about brain development is true.
My golden birthday is next year. 24. A birthday I couldn't even imagine arriving to as a child. I remember thinking "wow, my golden birthday is so much later than everyone else's". All of my friends were born on single digit days, or the early 10s, so their golden birthday came and passed, but I always liked the number 24, and I was excited to have mine when I was an adult and not a child.
24 has been a number I associated with myself since childhood, like most people. It is the number at the end of my e-mail address. It is my go to when making a pin. It is a number that is mine. And when my golden birthday comes and goes, I don't know what that number will mean anymore.
I never thought I'd make it to 24.
By the time the sun starts to set on twenty-four and twenty-five approaches near, I will have my Master's degree. Hopefully a job. I will hopefully be moving out of state and to another far away from where I grew up. I will be working with client's and supporting the community in amazing ways. I will have a cat. I will live with a friend I did not expect to come into my life that has. It's all a very beautiful thought.
But god did I never even expect to make it to 23.
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