#but at the end of the day my eye and hand coordination is just poor

[gifti3]

i kinda like how popular cozy games have gotten

[tteokdoroki]

actor!au with bakugou where you’re on the press tour for your up and coming princess movie or something.

of course he’s the romantic interest to your character, the lead, so you’re paired together for the entire junket — seated with one another for interviews across the globe. the whole experience is filled with laughter, smiles, and sharing little facts about one another behind the scenes.

you’re always the first person bakugou searches for on the red carpet at each premier — he reaches for your hand during photos and sneakily slips one around your waist to subconsciously pull you closer towards him.

the fans all think that you’re in love from the way katsuki hangs into your every word when the two of you are stopped for questions. the way he whole heartedly laughs, with his whole body, at a joke you’ve told that’s probably not even that funny.

it’s probably not true. you’re just coworkers who spent months getting to know one another. coworkers who’ve kissed more times than you can count with one hand and who’ve shared secret snacks on set because the days were long and hot but totally worth it for the smiles little girls and boys give you when their princess and her prince bend down to give them a squeeze.

you know that you’ll miss bakugou when this is all over and the movie is out and you’re not showing up to red carpets trying to guess if the PR team will have coordinated your outfits to match those of the final scene in the movie when your characters get married. you’ll hope to work with him again, secretly, praying that you get to be close to him once more.

the final straw that breaks the camels back and gets you to realise that maybe you like bakugou a little more than just co-stars is when you’re both invited for a special interview with big fans of your princess film. children not older than eight or nine wriggle in front of you both with curious questions and katsuki is equally as charmed as you by the costumes they wear that link up with your characters.

for the most part they ask you silly questions like the hardest thing about being a prince or princess, what time you have to wake up for filming and your favourite foods (to which you tell them “he likes spicy tofu, the kind that makes you breathe fire!” and bakugou replies with “are you tellin’ ‘em i’ve got bad breath?” and that makes the kids laugh). but then, the little boy sitting opposite bakugou grows shy and timid towards the end of your time together and the blonde stops the interview from ending so that he can get his question out.

“how did you know that you were in love with her?”

your heart flutters, and you don’t have the heart to tell the poor boy that your acting is make believe and for the silver screen — but bakugou beats you to it, ruffling the kid’s hair fondly.

“i knew ‘cause i was always lookin’ for her whenever we entered a room. she was the first person i saw, the last person i’d want to see,” he rasps, the wisps of a smile on his lips despite the cameras rolling and capturing what feels like a love confession towards his costar. towards you. “i knew ‘cause she was always so kind to me even when i didn’t deserve it, to people who doubted her, to people who loved her. s’been a while since i realised, guess i never said anythin’ but if you like a princess, kid — make sure you tell her before a handsome prince snatches her up first.”

the boy grins eagerly at the blonde’s answer and filming wraps up from there. “they’ll have to cut that bit out,” you say softly, making your way back to the dressing rooms with katsuki. “to avoid scandal, probably.”

but he cocks his head, rolling his eyes at you as if you hadn’t understood a word he’d said. “it’d only be a scandal if it weren’t true. i meant what i said. i like you, dummy.”

you lean against the dressing room door, mouth agape. “w-why didn’t you say anything before?”

“because i was just worried that my princess had already been swept off her feet by her handsome prince.”

“by you, i’d been swept of my feet by you. stupid.”

you take a step back and bakugou follows you forward, caging you in. “guess that makes me your prince charming.” he quips, leaning down to your height.

tilting your head upwards, you smile gently and let your hands rest on katsuki’s broad shoulders. “you’ve been playing that part for the last few months, have you not.”

“yeah, ‘guess i have,” he mirrors your expression, lips brushing over yours in a real true loves kiss.

[ceratedfish24]

People REALLY liked my Scottho post, which I thought might get maybe 17 notes if even that, so, uh, here’s a dabble based on literally one line towards the end of Etho’s 5th episode of Wild Life.

—————

“Best Decision I’ve Ever Made” -Etho

The rain lashed against the cobblestone roof above Scott’s head. For the sake of privacy and as a defense mechanism against Impulse and Cleo’s snoring, Pearl and Scott had put up cherry wood walls between the four color coordinated beds in the small base. Scott had thought about putting a window by his bed, but he figured it was best to keep his enemies from being able to see into his base in a death game. The blankets were heavy, and Scott was lying on his stomach, completely limp. His cerulean eyes drooped. Grian’s games were fun, but they were also exhausting. If he was being honest, his favorite part came after the games, when he was curling up in his bed with his cat and sleeping for hours and hours after a whole pot of pasta.

There was a knock on the door.

Scott’s shoulders had just settled into the mattress, but he shoved himself up from the bed. His chest was heaving just from pulling himself onto his knees on his bed, and he took a moment to decompress from that effort alone. Nobody else was going to answer the door. Scott is nothing if not selfless. He puts his weight onto his left hand, feeling it sink into the sheets, and swings his legs over the edge of the bed.

The teal haired man stumbled his way to the door of his room and leaned against the frame, running his hands through his bed head. If he was going to answer the door in the middle of the night, he may as well look the best he can manage to represent his team. Scott’s feet dragged themselves to the front of their base, shoulders sagging. Impulse’s snores were faint, but they were audible. Scott pulled his head up to look through the small window in the door. A black eye and a red eye looked back at him. The blue haired man shot upright.

“Etho?” Scott swung the door open towards himself. The poor man’s white hair dripped and sagged over his headband, covering it completely. Etho’s eyes were as sunken in as Scott’s, and they were almost hidden in the dark of the night. Water rushed down his skin, dappled with sun and age. The torches covering the base were like a bonfire outlining Etho’s lean frame. Scott was starting to think he had overdone it with the mob spawn-proofing.

“I know this-” Etho couldn’t finish his sentence, before Scott was dragging him inside by his dripping vest. Scott was too tired to notice how Etho’s eyes dropped to look at his lips, momentarily confused as to the blue boy’s intentions.

“What are you doing out here?” Scott slammed the door shut behind them and practically threw himself into his team’s storage. He fished out the thickest wool blankets they had. Cleo had prepared them for the team during the early days of the game, before they had walls and a roof over their heads to keep out the wind. They didn’t need such heavy blankets now that they were in a safe little abode, but Scott was a hoarder. This was exactly why. He wrapped them securely around Etho’s shoulders, and his hands brushed Etho’s neck. The white haired man was ice cold, but he wasn’t shaking. Scott knew cold like nobody else. Etho should be freezing. His teeth should be chattering, and his nose should be running. Maybe Scott would never understand how Etho had managed to reach such a point in his life that such conditions were normal to him.

“Bdubs stole my bed,” Etho shrugged, hugging the blankets closer to him, digging his fingers into the fabric. “You have- uh. Thank you,” Scott would not have been surprised if Etho was about to admit that he hadn’t seen a blanket in weeks. “I know that I was the one who said that we- uh, that we would keep it, keep this alliance on the downlow, but…”

Scott blew on his hands several times and pressed them against Etho’s masked jaw. It was tense. That must be why his teeth weren’t chattering. Etho stared at Scott. The tension in his shoulders, even under the thick wool, visibly relaxed, and his head dropped into Scott’s palms, which felt like a fireplace on Etho’s face. The stiffened joints in Etho’s neck audibly cracked, and Scott could practically feel the knots in Etho’s shoulders and upper back unraveling.

“You don’t have to apologize for wanting to be warm,” Scott murmured. Thumbs rubbed Etho’s cheekbones, which seemed to jut from his face. The blue haired boy made a mental note to feed this lanky man.

Part of Scott wanted to pull Etho’s head into his neck and cradle his shoulders, letting the man put all his, admittedly very minimal for such a tall survivalist of a man, weight on him. He pulled away instead. Scott pulled a towel out from the chest monster and draped it over Etho’s head. A surprised little “oh!” squeaked out of Etho’s throat, as Scott dug his hands into the towel and mussed Etho’s soaked hair, doing his best to dry it. Trying his best to keep his head still, Etho squeezed his eyes closed, as Scott bunched the towel in his hands on Etho’s scalp. The redstoner’s hair was pretty short. Scott didn’t have to try too hard to get it dry enough.

“Uh, do you have an extra, an extra bed?” Etho shuffled in place and rolled his shoulders. Scott did not have an extra bed, nor did he have the resources to make one. The G’s had yet to move their livestock, so shearing sheep would require a fifteen minute run to and from the island far from the rest of the bases in the rain and darkness.

“Yeah. It’s in that room,” Scott handed Etho a water bottle and nodded to his own room, pulling the blanket off of Etho. “You go ahead. I should set up a hook in here to dry this.”

Reluctantly, Etho pulled his mask down. Scott turned away respectfully, but he could hear Etho drinking. He sounded like he hadn’t had fresh water in a year, before he made his way to the ‘spare’ room. He stood in the doorway for a moment and looked back at Scott. The dry man did his best to ignore it, pretending everything was normal. Scott wrung the water out of the blanket in his hands and draped it over his shoulder, opening the chests to look for the materials for a tripwire hook. Etho’s eyes softened, and he crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

“This is your room,” Etho stated. Scott huffed and half-heartedly picked through a chest for string.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scott tried.

“I’m tired, Scott. I’m not clueless. The whole room is blue,” Etho argued. Scott threw the blanket onto the chests.

“We don’t have a fifth bed,” Scott mumbled, defeated, and looked up at the taller man. Etho shrugged nonchalantly. He hadn’t pulled his wet mask up. His lips had a scar running through them. It looked like it might have been from the same attack that scarred over his eye. Scott ignored that he was looking at Etho’s lips.

“So I’ll sleep on the blanket.”

“Absolutely not.” The blue haired boy sped over to Etho and practically tossed him onto the teal sheets. Scott closed the bedroom door behind him. “You’re not a stray fighting for scraps on the street anymore, sir. You’re my teammate, and no less.”

Scott tugged the blankets from under Etho and tossed them onto his frozen form. The warmth from when Scott was still under the sheets not too long ago seeped into Etho’s muscles. The older man had little time to react before Scott climbed in next to him, wrapping his arms around Etho’s neck and tucking Etho’s damp head under his chin. Etho didn’t know what to do with his cold hands. It seemed rude to press them against Scott’s warm shoulder blades. Scott’s neck felt scorching against Etho’s frozen nose. He doesn’t know when he had begun to let his body shiver.

“...If you insist,” Etho whispered. Scott’s hands ran through his damp hair. They felt like a mug of hot chocolate after a day in the snow. He felt like he was melting. “This is, like, the best decision I’ve ever made, I think.”

—————

Thanks for reading my little drabble!!🩵

[aesthetixhoe]

random ethan landry head cannons — E.L.

warnings: some nsfw ones, nothing too bad, maybe slightly queer coded ethan? (some thoughts)

word count:

pronouns used: this is about ethan >:(

authors note: this is just to get something for ethan out while I work on my very long ethan fic :) nsfw in red <3

loves spider man

his fav holiday is halloween

he loves dressing up for it.

He had a short-lived cosplay phase. While that didn't work out, he still loves making costume parts, and takes Halloween very seriously.

his favorite color is blue <3 (regardless of what i say in later things)

he is such a movie nerd, omg

he will skip his classes to go see a movie the day it comes out, at the first showing. or if it's on a streaming service he will wake up early so that way he is one of the first people to watch it so he doesn't get anything spoiled.

he loves emojis. he will use all the hearts, the "aesthetic ones", and the ones like ���😃😈 ironically

he doesn't post anything to instagram, snapchat, tiktok, anything. he just uses it to talk to people, take pictures with filters for fun, or to watch things

he's really oblivious to flirting.

unless you flat out say "I like you" or "you're really cute and I want to date you," he probably won't pick up on it.

he used to wear glasses, but got bullied, so he started wearing contacts :(

he loves syfy

he secretly loves romcoms and reality tv but he would never tell anyone

snack lover. his favorite being cheetos ofc

can cook "depression meals," and that's the end of his cooking expertise

definitely likes star wars

has star wars pajama pants

math is his favorite subject

wanted to have an emo phase but was too scared he would be bullied

likes COD and halo, but doesn't play it with people he knows cause he's scared he's bad :(

he is so insecure about everything. poor boy </3

loves pet names!!

he doesn't have a preface for him, but he loves using baby and sweetheart for his s/o

has for sure thought about chad in a sexual way.

he would never act on anything.

once told chad how he was insecure of his body, so chad started taking him to the gym with him

says he hates when chad is a hype man, but actually loves it

used to want to be an engineer when he grew up, but actually did it in middle school and didn't like it

was an honor roll student

has always wanted to travel somewhere outside the US, but doesn't know where

is an amazing cuddler

give great hugs

his hands are warm all the time

it makes him self-conscious when holding someone's hand, but he tries to ignore it

is a potato enjoyer

has a cat back home that he misses a lot

is awful at bowling

and most sports

it's not that he's not fit enough, he just has bad hand eye coordination

jackets >> hoodies

brushes, flosses, and uses mouthwash 2 times a day, EVERYDAY.

can eat 😼 like no other

takes pictures straight out of the shower, with just a towel around his waist to "see his gym progress"

catches on super quick to things his partner likes

is inexperienced, but still very skilled somehow??

knows where the clit is

is submissive, but he also wants to be dominate

will take whatever his s/o gives

love language is touch, even though he's scared in the beginning

once he gets used to his s/o he loves touching them

he likes hickeys.

whether they're on him or his s/o. he doesn't care. he likes them on him because it shows people he has someone who liked him enough to do that to him. and he likes them on the other person because it shows that they're his.

[lemon-russ]

the girls are fightiinggg- oh shit wait no they really are--

sorry so late! I decided to socialize and leave the house and was swiftly punished for my hubris with feeling like garbage. I drank a ton of baja blast and I'm good now 👉😎👉

Part 13/ ???

< previous || next >

Cato Sicarius x F!Reader

CW: Mentions of sex, slight? sexism,violence / fighting

Summary: Cato and Titus need to put on their get along shirt

word count: 1,946

The wood of the desk splinters under Guilliman's grip, tossing off shards that make light tapping sounds as they fall to the marble floor of his dead quiet office.

He stood, chair screeching across the floor, and composed himself, taking a deep breath.

“So. The men say Cato has gone to the planet I sent the ambassador, alone, and has not returned a day.” He says with forced calm.

The serf nervously nods.

“And he did not tell anyone. And neither he, nor commander Titus, nor The Ambassador, have voxed an update.”

The serf nods again.

“Right.” He says, brushing wood splinters off himself. He frowned. He liked this desk.

“Prepare my ship.” He said, walking briskly to his chambers down the hall, making the serf have to jog to keep up.

“Sir-?”

“My ship, prepare it to head to a294-56. The planet my wayward sons have absconded with my diplomat to.”

The serf frowned and nodded. “Yes, sir.” They squeaked, skittering off.

_________________________________

Titus watches Cato try to keep up a dance with the Ambassador, fuming and huffing in a corner. Cato was stiff and concentrating but managing. Astartes were quick to learn and had excellent reaction speed, so though he assumed Cato could not waltz before this, he copied the movements of the others and followed the Ambassador's lead.

Titus grumbled under his breath. He'd be better at this. He'd learn faster and move smoother and not embarrass the ambassador with poor skills.

His gaze track her smooth movements. Not as coordinated as an astartes, her reaction speeds were slower, not quite on tempo. He realizes Cato is actually the only one on perfect tempo, and that's why he looks stilted.

Regardless, or maybe because of, her human imperfections are what is giving her movements their beauty. She smiles and twirls and waltzes in circles around the room with the crowd. Her dress follows her like water, sparkling ultramarine blue.

Titus smiles, ignoring Cato and letting himself take in her giggling smile, her just exposed shoulders, the way her dress hugged her curves-

He snaps his gaze away. No, he will not let himself look at her in such a way as Sicarius does. She is a mortal, baseline human. It is predatory to look at something so simple, so naive and think like that. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and glares at Cato.

He catches his eye, and Cato grins smugly at him, then defiantly lowers the hand he has on the ambassadors hip to just the top of her rear. She giggles, and Titus has to squeeze his fists.

You can't assault your captain, you can't assault your captain- He forces into his seething mind.

The song ends and the ambassador leads Cato back to where Titus stands, smiling innocent. Like she didn't feel his hand on her ass? She may be naive, but innocent, maybe not so much. He restrains a scowl. “My lady, you dance very gracefully.” He says instead.

She smiled sweetly, and he found it hard to stay annoyed, giving in to a smile in return.

_______________________________________

You feel a little awkward. You'd been desperately trying to enjoy time here with Cato even though Titus was insistent on keeping an eye on you at all times it seemed. But at least you got a dance in. Though Titus boring holes in your back didn't make it less awkward.

It feels like being on a date with a chaperon, like you're some chaste noble girl who's parents worry about appearances.

Come to think of it, most of what Titus does for you makes you feel like an incapable child. Cutting your food, telling you how to dress, keeping you away from a guy you like, it made you feel like a teenager with a strict parent.

You fan yourself with your hand, “Wow this planet is humid. I'm going to step out for a minute.” You say, and they both follow without hesitation.

“Enjoying your view again, Titus?” Cato snaps behind you.

“I'm not doing anything- and you were the one being careless with your hands back there, Sicarius.” Titus growls back.

You keep walking to the beautiful garden outside, sighing and taking in the cool night air as you try to ignore their bickering.

“My hands are allowed to be careless, your eyes do not have that privilege, commander.” Cato snarls at him.

You turn around, finding Cato and Titus scowling at each other, only feet apart.

“Can you stop fighting for like, ten minutes?” You sigh.

Neither break their stare. Titus huffs, “No, I can't stand by and watch this anymore- what's going on here is wrong.” He spits, turning to face you. “You are being taken advantage of and you can't even realize it.”

You frown at that. “What? I'm not being taken advantage of-”

“Of course you are!” Titus interrupts. “You can't have a consensual relationship with an astartes! You're a baseline woman, you don't have the capacity for it!” He says, tone a bit more like he's explaining something obvious to a child.

You blink a few times in shock, eyes wide. Cato raises his brow as well, looking caught off guard.

“Titus- what the hell do you mean I can't consent?” You ask, baffled. “I'm an adult, and a pretty high ranking diplomat mind you.” You say, furrowing your brow.

He sighs. “Of course, of course, and you're very intelligent for a baseline human, I didn't mean that, but it's different, Astartes are on a level you can't comprehend.” He says patiently, giving a sympathetic frown.

Cato shakes his head. “Holy shit, are you- are you saying you don't like us dating, because you think she's, what? Too stupid?” He asks confusedly.

Titus scowls at him. “Of course not, she's very smart, but her brain is just not formed in a way that she can conceptualize anything like you can. It's a matter of capability” he says, raising his voice.

You shake your head, “you- you think I'm too unevevolved!?” You say, starting to shout.

He looks back at you with a grimace, “I wouldn't call it unevevolved-” he says quickly before being interrupted again.

“No, I'd call it jealousy.” Cato growls, hands balling at his sides. “You just need some weak excuse because you don't want to say you want to fuck her and you're mad I am!” He shouts.

Your eyes go wide, and Titus looks shocked for a split moment.

Somewhere far behind you, you faintly register the sound of heavy footsteps. You turn to see who's there, afraid they'll overhear this insanity, but you're stopped by the sight of Titus’ fist flying forward.

_______________________________

Titus snaps.

You can't assault your captain, you can't-

Fuck it.

How dare he accuse him of perverting that poor innocent girl the way he is doing. How dare he imply he has anything but the Ambassador's best interest in mind. And how dare he talk like he didn't know what he was doing was tantamount to abuse of authority.

Titus sees Cato process what was happening as he starts reeling back his fist, twisting his torso to add to the power. Cato is fast to react, but he isn't expecting it, so by the time he actually sees the punch coming and is dodging, it is already too close. It doesn't hit exactly on the nose where Titus was aiming, but he did still get his jaw.

Bone collides with bone as he makes contact, and though Cato raises his hand to deflect Titus’ fist last second, he is still forced onto the back foot and reels back, hand flying to his jaw.

In a second he goes from shock, to anger, to rage.

“You- You bastard-!” He growls, “A sucker punch?! Are you a coward as well?!”

Titus sneers a bit. “What, aren't you supposed to be the best duelist?” He says mockingly, raising his fists again, this time in fighting position.

Cato snaps his teeth, and in a moment is lunging, knocking both him and Titus to the ground.

They grapple and hit each other, snarling angrily as they fight to get off the ground and land another hit.

“You self-righteous piece of shit-” Cato growls, ramming an elbow into Titus’ face.

Titus lets out an angry shout, tossing Cato off, still in his power armor and much stronger. “You manipulative, depraved prick!” He growls back.

Cato hits the ground hard, leaving a dent in the grass as he slides, but rolls to his feet.

“Seriously? Fight me fair, lose the armor!” He snaps as he stands.

“Fine. Not that you deserve a fair fight.” Titus spits, and he undoes his armor, stepping out in just his body glove.

They run at each other again and now Cato can get a hit in, and Titus tackles him. They roll and punch and knee each other, spitting insults and curses.

The Ambassador, who had been watching in shock until now, gasps and stammers, “M-my lord-!”

They freeze, Cato kneeling on Titus’ chest, arm reeled back for another punch. They both snap their heads up, faces bleeding and bruised and muddied, to the sound of heavy footsteps.

Guilliman stops next to the Ambassador, staring down at them with an icy glare of disappointment.

“So this is how I find two of my most well decorated Sons? Fist fighting like hive gangers in the mud, in public. Your charge forgotten and undefended.” He says in a chillingly low voice, putting a hand on the Ambassador's shoulder.

They both pale before untangling themselves and standing as properly as they can manage.

“Father-” they say in unison, then shoot glares at each other before trying to talk over themselves.

“He attacked me first-”

“He's been using the ambassador-”

Guilliman scowls, and both their words die in their throats.

“You two are a disgrace right now. Look at you. Cato, why are you even here? And Titus, taking off your armor to fight your battle brother? What the hell has been going on here?” He growls with such anger they both shivered.

“My Lord, please don't be angry-” the Ambassador starts before Guilliman turns his icy look on her. “And you, little one. You did not even attempt to inform me of this situation? You know better.” He says in a much softer tone. The softness only makes it more cutting though, as the weight of disappointing him was so heavily dripping from his words.

She cringes into herself a bit. “I- I'm sorry-” she squeaks out, tears forming in her eyes.

Cato takes a reflexive step toward her, hand raised to reach for her, before another cold look from his genefather stops him.

Titus just glares at the ground, fists trembling by his sides.

Guilliman scowls at them, then sighs. “Enough of this. Pull yourselves together before you bring more shame on our legion.” He says with quiet anger. “I already found the other brothers I sent with you, they are gathering the Ambassador's things now. We're going home.” He says, turning the ambassador with him, guiding hand on her back.

Titus and Cato start to follow, and Guilliman looks over his shoulder. “Oh, no. We're going home.” He says, gesturing between himself and the ambassador. “You two can get your own ride back. I can't look at you right now.” He says flatly.

“I've already ordered your crew back, Sicarius. Consider yourselves both on suspension.” Guilliman says before walking away, hand on the Ambassador's back to make her walk with him.

She looks over her shoulder at them with a nervous grimace before Guilliman gives her a look and makes her turn back.

[lz-didyounotice]

Baking weekends : The oncomming 'flour' storm

This gif doesn't belong to me

Heyyy! How are you lots ? Long time no see right ? Been struggling a bit with writing for the past few days. Anyway! First time I write for 12th, so I hope to have got him right. This follows the series of the Baking week-ends. Hope you enjoy!

Froggit-

Warnings : English is not my first language. No warning  for this one, just pure fluff. Preestablished relationship.

Translations : “C’est qui le narvalo qui a bouffé tous mes cookies ??!! ” : Who’s the fool that ate all my cookies??!!  

“Comment ça va, la miss?”  : How are you, miss?

"Je suis chez moi" : Here I am

—----------------------

“C’est qui le narvalo qui a bouffé tous mes cookies??!! ” 

echoed an all too familiar voice from the TARDIS kitchen.

Glancing down at the last packet of biscuits he was consuming, the Doctor hurriedly stuffed the last one in his mouth, attempting to hide the disappearance of your last batch of cookies. 

For the past three weeks, he had been raiding your personal stash of sweets, snatching bits and pieces before stashing them away in his pockets.

Setting his book aside. The timelord found himself drawn to the chalkboard standing in front of him, a poor attempt at diversion for the inevitable confrontation. Unfortunately enough, he only had been half way through his writing when the gentle voice of his wife came around.

“Darling, did you eat my last cookies ?” Your voice, though soft, carried a subtle undertone that he couldn't quite decipher.

“If I did,  as in ‘if I hypothetically did’. Would I be in trouble ?”He ventured. Tiptoeing around the accusation.

Your smile made him more apprehensive, his back slowly pressing a bit more against the board. “Of course not! Why should I be angry? You didn’t eat them.”

It all seemed too easy, too rehearsed. You had to know. Of course, you did. The glint of mischief lurking behind every line of your face was unmistakable. Had he not witnessed it countless times before, he might have missed it entirely. “Anyway, ‘got a call from Clara, she needs my help to surprise her students.” 

Turning on your heel, you could practically feel the weight of the Doctor's gaze boring into the back of your head as you input Clara’s coordinates. With a few  pulls of levers and punching buttons, the TARDIS was nearly ready for departure. Glancing back at your husband, you decided to grant him the honor of pulling the final lever. 

With crumbs of cookies smudging the corners of his mouth, he looked at you like a child caught red-handed with his hand in the cookie jar. Suppressing a laugh, you let him roll his eyes before reaching for the lever. His brow furrowed as he observed your mischievous smile. “What's so funny?” Your grin widened, even eliciting a small snort. “Nothing, Darling…”

Before long, the TARDIS materialized at its destination. Snatching your leather jacket, you darted toward the door, leaving your husband to ponder the source of your laughter as you passed the threshold. Did he have something on his face? Checking the monitor for his reflection, his cheeks flared up as he used his sleeve to wipe away the dead giveaway.

—----------------------

It had been a long week for the brunette, yet she still had the courage to fulfill a promise she had made her students a while back. Putting out two aprons, the girl double-checked her supply of flour, ensuring she had enough for the multiple batches to be made that evening.

Just as she was about to take a mixing ball out, the familiar sound of the TARDIS reverberated through the room, accompanied by excited footsteps. “Clara ?”

“I’m in the kitchen!” She said, head still in the cupboard.

Coming around the kitchen’s door, you had the biggest smile on your face upon seeing her. “Comment ça va, la miss?” 

“I’m doing great ! Where’s the Doctor?” she inquired, turning to face you, a curious expression on her face. She hadn't heard him enter the apartment yet. “What have you done to him?”

Playing dumb, you stepped forward to join her, ready to lend a hand. “What have I done? Do you think I would harm my own beloved?” Despite your attempt to conceal your mischief, she shot you a skeptical look .“Okay, he ate my last batch of cookies…” 

“That’s all?” She scoffed “What? Not my fault if he was caught red handed.” You complained while taking a second ball out.

Chuckling softly, the brunette shook her head in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable.” Sticking out your tongue, you finally laughed with her before standing up, the mixing ball finally found.

—----------------------

In no time, you had already begun making batches, “Je suis chez moi” blasting around the room. Making you both laugh as you danced around the kitchen, dough still sticking to your hands. 

But laughter soon became playful fighting threats, all orchestrated after you had attempted to reach the bag of flour in the upper cupboard. Unfortunately enough, even if you were taller than the brunette, your hand slipped, the white powder spreading everywhere. Including Clara’s hair.

“Oops- Sorry” You sheepishly excused yourself. 

Turning around to face you, Clara was clearly annoyed. Her black t-shirt now tainted white, she was already plotting for yours to turn the same color.

“Hum… I didn’t touch the dough did I ?”

—----------------------

The doctor had come worried about how much fun the two of you seemed to be having. Not that he didn’t feel included, you had tasked him to bake some of the batches in the TARDIS kitchen after all. As much as he found it childish, he couldn’t help but want to see you smile at him, as you proudly presented the TARDIS-shaped cookies. He was fascinated with how such simple things could have you beaming with so much joy.

Finally taking the last batch of cookies out of the oven, he put them to cool down on the aisle. And as he closed the heat inducing contraption, the sound of war cries came from outside.

“Pudding brains” He muttered, running out of the box with a slightly annoyed look. Taking the first door, the kitchen was the second line of action. And as he opened it, he was welcomed with both of his companions covered in white powder, laughing their asses off trying to get the other to stop the carnage. 

Taken in the crossfire, the doctor could only stand in the doorway, and try to stop the two warriors. Unfortunately enough, his voice wasn’t as loud as the music, overshadowed by the manic laughter of the two girls, too concentrated on throwing whatever ingredients came their way.

And what was bound to happen, happened. All it took was for Clara to dodge the icing sugar, letting the sweet powder cover half of the Doctor's coat. Your eyes bore an horrified look as you traced the form in the middle of the doorframe.

“Clara…? Keep absolutely still, his vision is based on movement-” You sheepishly let out trying not to laugh at the very crossed face of your husband.

“Now that’s just insulting sweetie.” And yet all you could do was give him a small smile.

—----------------------

After what seemed to be like a day of cleaning, Clara’s kitchen was finally in order. The dough had been stored in the fridge for now, being the only thing saved from this carnage. 

“My back-” You complained as you finally got up from the floor. Bending the other way around to release the pressure, you heard your back pop in a satisfying manner. “That’s more like it.”

“Please, make me remember to not let you grab the flour next time.” Insisted Clara as she washed the now watered down flour, off her sponge.

“Oh come on, it was fun-” You let out while whipping off the excess water on the aisle.

“ ‘Could have been spared from it-” Commented the grumpy man now seated in the hallway. 

“I've had enough with one grumpy sister, Dear. I don’t need a Scottish husband into the mix-” You let out without  much mind. 

“-Sister?” Clara seemed surprised by your statement. Yet you decided not to pick on it, and put out the stored dough to make new cookies.  This time, Clara,  being in charge of the flour.

“Let’s make the last few batches. We still need to surprise your classroom now don’t we?” 

—----------------------

After this little “incident”, everything went rather smoothly. With five more boxes of biscuits on the counter, you had enough to live on it for the next two months. At least you were hoping. With your husband roaming the TARDIS, you could count maybe two weeks before two of the boxes disappeared. 

As much as the doctor wanted to take Clara on an adventure after such a “Boring” day, you had insisted for him to let the girl sleep before trying to make her run from aliens again. She still needed to teach the next day, and your little session had been quite an eventful one.

That left you and the doctor alone in the TARDIS, the Doctor still covered in flour. You would have supposed he would have changed by now, yet here he was, still in his whitened coat. 

Sighing, you came closer to his side, your hand stretched out for him to hand over his  precious coat. “Come on, hand it over, it needs a wash.”  

“I can do it, you know ?”

“Hand it-” You insisted.

After looking at your hands for a good minute, he finally gave in. “Fine…” Signing the Doctor gave you the coat, leaving him in his white shirt and matching vest. 

Quickly you disappeared in the wardrobe, handing over the coat to the TARDIS’s pressing. Landing her a compliment, you got back to the console room, and quitted your own leather jacket before wrapping it over the doctor's shoulders. “Here, you can have mine for the time being.” 

A small smile drew itself on the Doctor’s lips. Your caring attitude, making his hearts flutter with thousands of butterflies. Smiling back at him, you scooted over as much as you could, taking his pinky finger with yours in a caring manner.

Always so caring. The soft and smooth touch of your hand made him realize how old his was. If he was being honest, he hated being so old, yet you almost made it bearable. He always was questioning why you stayed with him looking this gray, and being so grumpy. Yet the three rings on your fingers told him you would follow everywhere he would. Support him through whatever was to come.

You, (Y/N), the infinite girl. His infinite girl. His everything.

—----------------------

Bonus : 

When he emerged around the console in the morning, he was still clad in your jacket. Despite the fact that the TARDIS had hung his own in the room you both shared, he had made an exception for today. Oddly enough, you had risen from bed before him. You had left your coat, leaving him to speculate that you were probably wearing one of your favorite hoodies.

“Hello, my little thief,” you greeted from the top floor. You were hunched over small scraps of paper, diligently piecing something together.

“What are you making?” the Doctor inquired, intrigued by your latest project.

“A keepsake for Clara,” you replied, without looking up from your work.

“Why?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s her birthday next week,” you finally looked up at him, and from his expression, he clearly had forgotten. “You forgot, didn't you?”

Attempting to play it off, he quickly realized that with you, there was no use in pretending. “Scoot over.”

“Thought you were not the crafty one,” you teased, making room for him beside you.

“Surprise then,” he quipped, grabbing the glue stick.

Laughing softly, you bumped shoulders, working together to create the perfect collage of all your adventures with Clara. Occasionally, you glanced over at his concentrated frown, finding amusement in his determination.

Planting a kiss on his cheek, you thanked him for his help before returning to search for the perfect photos. His neck flushed up to the tips of his ears, his hearts fluttering in his chest at your affectionate gesture.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

One thing I don't understand is why they took time to build up Aemond in part 1, with its complexity and ambition. And then ss2 turned him into a villain so quickly? And why did they choose Aegon to be the one who suffered cruel treatment from family members to gain viewers' sympathy, while they turned him into a rapist in ss1? The sudden change in the approach of the two characters in ss2 left me scratching my head.

Good day/night!

IMO the reasons for it are the same ones I mentioned in this post (I hope you don't mind if I quote it, here and below):

"... IMO we need to take into account two things: 1) HotD writers apparently have received a commission to create a show with a clear as day feminist agenda to regain the audience's favor lost after Daenerys business in S8 of GoT; 2) the most important - they are fucking incompetent, and so they could ruin the characters they "love" just as effortlessly as they do with those they "hate" (sometimes they even fail with the latter - because they are kind of supposed to ruin them but, once again, are incompetent)".

On the one hand, the goal there was to make the show as popular and as appealing to the audience (including general audience, of course) as possible; on the other hand, it was supposed to be done in a certain way.

On no account was a TG character (i.e. the one from anti-feminist side), and a male one at that, supposed to become (or to end up, at least) as an absolute fan favourite. It is not a secret that after season 1 Aemond's popularity reached nearly cosmic levels (according to some surveys, he was the third among the best-liked characters, after Rhaenyra and Daemon - and not that far from them) after the little screen time he had. Imagine what could have been if Aemond got proper development and was presented as a complex, well written character with amount of screen time that he was due as one of the main characters of season 2. There would be a risk of him overshadowing Daemon or even the one true heroine - Rhaenyra. The HotD team couldn't have that - so they reduced Aemond's screen time to bare minimum. As for him becoming a villain, here I go back to the post mentioned above:

"... I really don't know whether Condal and the rest of HotD team are ruining Aemond on purpose - or are just trying to legit create a compelling arc for him by presenting him as a bullied kid with a fuckton of issues who one day just snapped and fully went into a psycho killer mode. Both options are possible - and actually both of them might be true because (and here goes yet another HotD problem) it really feels like the writers who work on the show have trouble communicating and coordinating their ideas. One pushes for one thing, another - for another, and as a result we have characters who act like they get a personality/brain transplant every episode (Daemon and Alicent in S1 are the prime examples of that)".

As for Aegon, the way writers go about his development is (or has turned out to be) quite messy as well. In season 1, he was made a canonical rapist (and the writers just had to know that such a character won't be received well by the audience) - yet Sara Hess tried to explain how it was because Aegon just never knew what consent was. In season 2 he is being presented as a dumb, reckless boy - but one deeply unhappy and in constant suffering. It's like the audience is supposed to roll their eyes at his poor decisions but also to pity him. And it seems to work exactly like that! Why did they do it? My guess is that HBO people want to improve their chances at the Emmys - and characters like Aegon are just the right material for it. Exploitation? Absolutely. But thanks to that, at least Tom was given a chance to actually demonstrate his talent. And at the same time, once again, a Green character can't be better that the Blacks in everything, right? So show!Aegon is being dumbed down and forced to make some questionable decisions (but still manages to have the most consistent character arc out of all the Greens - which says something about the writing level for this season).

P.S. A little off topic: the thing is that the sympathies towards Aegon from the audience might prove stronger than the writers predicted (actually, from what I've seen for the past week, the same goes for Aemond - he is not hated nearly as much as could have been expected, at least for now). And I think the actors are to thank for that: Tom has been absolutely smashing it this season (his Aegon really is a livewire) and Ewan manages to save every second of screen time he gets to remind the audience via his microexpressions and scene presence why so many people were enchanted by Aemond in the first place. Legends.

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

happy halloween - have a few, quickly-written little headcanons on the svech babies and their halloween costumes 🎃

evie’s six months old for her first halloween and you go a little nuts buying a bunch of different costumes but she ends up going as a little bunny, complete with a stuffed carrot and everyone freaks out over how cute she is

you and andrei also wear bunny ears to go as a little bunny family

alina’s only three months old for her first halloween and evie’s almost three so you go for a family costume again - this time it’s winnie the pooh characters. andrei is tigger, evie is pooh, you’re eeyore, and alina is piglet. the costumes are so freaking hot so you’re glad it’s actually a cold halloween in raleigh for once

when you zip andrei into the giant onesie, he shakes his head and laughs, “didn’t think i would be so damn happy to dress up in an adult onesie, solnyshka.”

kira is eleven months old at her first halloween and walking, but none of the girls want anything to do with a family costume since they all have their own choices. except then it’s two days before halloween and the bigger girls both decide they hate their costumes and want new ones - daddy to the rescue. disney princess family costumes here you come

evie is sleeping beauty, alina is ariel, kira is cinderella and they’re all very very excited about the twirly dresses

andrei has a wicked look in his eye when he pulls a fourth and fifth costume from the giant box - a yellow ball gown for you and a prince costume for himself - belle and the beast

“my hair’s even long enough,” he grins, having been too busy to get a haircut. he’ll never admit it, but he’s just as into the family costumes as you are

by the time dimitri is born, he’s only two months old and you’re exhausted. andrei handles halloween again - the girls go as different superheros (wonder woman, supergirl, and batgirl) daddy’s wearing a batman mask and a huge goofy grin

dimitri gets a little teddy bear onesie, complete with ears and little tail, so he can be warm and bundled while you push him in the stroller as the girls trick or treat. andrei has a little superman shirt that he puts on over dimitri’s onesie because he “has to match the rest of us, solnyshka”

“i’m not dressed up to match you guys”

“don’t worry about that, i have just the thing”

andrei produces a t-shirt that says “super mom” on it for you and a little matching cape that he hooks around your neck with a kiss to your cheek

maks is just about a month old for his first halloween - he gets dimitri’s bear onesie and one year old dimitri is in a little elmo from sesame street

there’s a period of several halloweens where both boys only want to be daddy for halloween and traipse around the neighborhood in their svechnikov jerseys and helmets, insisting on carrying around sticks until they get bored and you end up carrying the sticks

evie bosses her younger siblings around one year because she wants to be dorothy from wizard of oz, but needs her cast of characters. so. kira and alina end up as the wicked witch and glinda, respectively. you’re the scarecrow, andrei is the tin man, dimitri is the cowardly lion, and poor little maks ends up as toto

the year the kids all decide to do their own different costumes and don’t want to do a coordinated family one is a dark year for andrei - he pouts and complains about the kids growing up, so you promise to do a couples’ costume with him and that’s how you end up dressed in matching pirate costumes with andrei’s hand up your skirt most of the night and a brief pregnancy scare six weeks later

[wolfawaycamp]

🐼 write something for your fave rarepair?

🐼EMMALYN TIME

The campers were running late. Again. And it was all due to Emma’s insistence on providing a true, in-depth theatre experience for the kiddos. That was all fine and dandy, but Kaitlyn was gonna blow a gasket if she had to endure another one of Ryan’s passive-aggressive comments about them being behind schedule.

Normally, Kaitlyn was pretty patient and waited outside the lodge, but today she barged right in.

“Ah, perfect timing!” Emma smiled as Kaitlyn entered the room. The campers were already in the process of lining up to leave. Good. “Remember what I told you about teamwork when you go down to the boathouse! It’s all about communication and cooperation! Now fly free, my beautiful butterflies,” she finished with a flourish of her hands, imitating the fluttering of wings.

After the group of kids had been walked down to Ryan (he was in a good mood, which meant he’d live to see another day), Kaitlyn went back to visit Emma. They both had an early lunch on Thursdays, so they’d spend time chatting and catching up on counselor drama.

Emma was cleaning up props that had been strewn about when Kaitlyn returned; she moved in a dance-like fashion, humming as she worked.

“Hey, Em.”

Kaitlyn almost felt rude interrupting, but Emma glanced up at her with that same enthusiastic grin. “Hey cutie. Come by to get a taste of today’s lesson?” She strode toward where Kaitlyn was standing.

“Something about teamwork, right? You teaching them to trust fall?”

“How did you know?” Emma purred.

“I did a bit of theatre in high school.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but the truth was that Kaitlyn had done summer pantomime workshops while Jacob was at football camp, or whatever they called it. She may have been a tad embarrassed about that little tidbit of Kaitlyn Lore.

Emma frowned. “Oh? And you didn’t pursue it in college?”

“Didn’t have time for it,” Kaitlyn stated plainly. Now this was a lie. College was a pipe dream for her, and she was content fixing cars and working at run-down summer camps to make ends meet for the time being.

“Well…you’ve got time now.”

Kaitlyn cocked her head to the side and smirked. “You want me to fall into your arms like a poor damsel in distress?”

A light giggle escaped from Emma’s mouth. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to that. Buuuut…” she pursed her lips and looked off to the side, “…we could try something different, since we’re alone.”

That didn’t sound ideal. “I didn’t take you for that kind of woman, Emma Mountebank,” Kaitlyn declared, feigning shock. Part of her was sure Emma was just being Emma, but another part of her knew that camp counselors were ticking time bombs of repressed sexual energy. Perhaps this was an extremely forward proposition. Don’t flatter yourself, bucko.

“Cute,” Emma remarked, “but I was thinking something more along the lines of…intimacy coordination. Basically, making sure two actors portraying a romantic duo are comfortable and have clearly set boundaries during the performance.”

“Oh, so like, kissing and things like that?” Kaitlyn sensed an odd thumping in her chest at that thought.

And because she’d uttered it, of course Emma pounced on the idea. “Precisely! Would you like to take this rare, once-in-a-lifetime-opportunity to learn how to ‘stage kiss’ from an expert?”

Stage…kiss? Now the thumping had gotten louder. It was at this point that Kaitlyn realized she and Emma were standing only about a foot apart now. She was close enough to smell Emma’s recently-washed hair; Kaitlyn couldn’t quite place the exact scent, but it was woodsy and comforting, appropriate for a camp counselor, she reckoned. “Better make it quick.”

Almost too obediently, Emma brought her hand up, holding it inches from Kaitlyn’s face. “Can I…?”

Kaitlyn nodded encouragingly. Was Emma really just going to straight-up kiss her?

As Emma leaned in, Kaitlyn closed her eyes in anticipation. She’d kissed plenty of girls in her time on this earth, but it had been a while since one had made her stomach do cartwheels like it was currently doing.

Emma’s hand cupped her face. Then, her thumb pressed gently on Kaitlyn’s lips…and she kissed it before pulling away. Kaitlyn tried not to feel a bit of disappointment. It was supposed to be a “safe” alternative, after all.

When Kaitlyn looked back up, Emma was staring at her, seemingly satisfied. Or perhaps amused by the awkwardness of it all. 

“Voila! Stage kiss.”

[luffyvace]

STRAW HAT HEADCANONS

YUP YUP

as a thx for being patient for me not posting all day-

you get the whole crew!! :)

(some of these are based off true stories i’ve heard of from my friends 😭🧍‍♀️)

Luffy

never a peaceful day goes by

hes the type of guy that has to make noise if it’s “too silent”

like bro can’t we get some peace and quiet??

thrives in chaos

his eye to hand coordination is on point bc this man doesn’t think before he does ANYTHING

steals things from his crew even

if he sees something he likes he just takes it

he goes into the bathroom, puts boogers on the tissue then leaves

doesn’t even take it off or flush it

the next person who has to use that bathroom is mortified

when nami finds out and holds a whole meeting to find out who did this terrible act of crime

they find out it’s him he just laughs

per usual

stop this madness.

(he doesn’t)

Zoro

also a menace

not as straightforward with it though

its more like if he gets water everywhere when washing his hands

or spills his drink when pouring it

or pee all over the toilet

he’s kinda like oh whoops

(for future reference- my apologies for who ever you simp for here bc these headcanons don’t hold back)

anyway

sometimes he doesn’t shower after he trains

and just walks in the kitchen full body REEKING 😭😭😭

seriously dude take a shower

”i’ll cool off eventually”

THAT AINT GONNA GET RID OF THE STENCH

it makes me doubt he changes his underwear often enough

he leaves empty water bottles everywhere

it’s worse in the crows nest trust

Nami

thankfully this poor victim isn’t nearly as much as a menace

as long as you pay your beli

is genuinely willing to wait as long as it takes to get that money

and if you die she’s taking your life insurance

if your a pirate and have none she probably just takes whatever money and belongings you own

if it’s gems she’ll keep them but otherwise

she sells your clothes and other stuff that’s not worth much

smells like flowers

yes i said it

every time she comes out the shower something chaotic has happened

ah what a refreshing shower..

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUFFY UPSET ANOTHER GOD 😱

😡✊ 🤣 💥 😓 😑

you can guess what happened

Usopp

his luck heavily fluctuates

sometimes he can get away with stealing. from. nami.

wow.

to other times getting blamed for farting

by luffy

and no one likes that feeling

has a better fashion sense but just chooses to dress how he does

no reason really

he can do hair and paint nails

nail painting he learned from kaya

would love horse back riding if he tried

he would suck at first tho

likes little children but they always end up beating him up for some reason

‘his cooking isn’t that good!’

‘let’s jump him!’

‘yeah!!’

besides the usopp pirates—they just do

Sanji

he could pull if he just stopped simping so hard

opla sanji is proof

his favorite thing to cook is spicy foods

him and chopper bond over spices bc some are good for your health and all

chopper sometimes recommends new herbs to put in foods

and vice versa for medicine

he helps chopper shop for herbs and such

if zoro wasn’t his big brother it was def be sanji

i love this duo it need more screen time

Sanji is a natural with children

which is why i wanna know why he ain’t wifed up yet?!

still hasn’t had his first kiss

prob would’ve genuinely married pudding if she was regular girl or at least not a big mom pirate

Chopper

sweetest person ever

looks up to all the straw hats

so he picks up bad habits from them

and is influenced by them easily

they use him as a tie breaker for stuff

they all bribe him to picking they’re option

usually robin, nami, sanji or zoro wins

robin bc she uses her psychological knowledge

nami bc she offers to buy his doctor stuff (which is rare)

sanji bc they have a close bond and relate to each other

and zoro bc they’re bond too (and bc he scares him sometimes- like that time in water 7)

asks people to help him with his doctor research

everyone was willing until the time usopp had diarrhea

then he could only convince luffy to do it 😭

Robin♥︎

her stare scares the rest of the straw hats

if it’s not a genuine smile and more like a distant stare that is

shes always observing and watching

theres no hiding secrets from her

she’s knows all

she actually reminds me of a friend i had irl and idk how to feel abt it

she wasn’t a bad person

she was just

just like robin 🧍‍♀️

anyway

i wonder if robin would read stephen king?

she would prob big up the book

only for them to find out it’s pretty dark

she prefers tea over coffee any day

its healthier w more health benefits

it just suits her taste pallet more

plus it doesn’t stain your teeth yellow n stuff..

Franky

SO LOUD

the second he gets up-

SUPERRRRRRR

its kinda annoying

he doesn’t care much if you don’t like it

Luffy is louder ok

your fine

wants robin to think he’s cool

if you don’t get something he said he doesn’t feel like repeating himself

either leaves out more details the more he explains it

or stares at you until you get it

constantly requesting american food for dinner

he doesn’t mind noodles and other around the world dishes

but can he get some pizza??

is that too much??

actually such a kind and considerate person

can relate to sanji on his kindness and empathy being his superpower

♡♡BROOK♡♡

needs so much more attention

the only one who still laughs at his skull jokes are luffy and chopper

sometimes usopp if it was a good one

loves to exchange books with robin but..

sometimes they’re a bit scary

(dude your a skeleton…YOUR SCARY-)

robin listens to him well bc he has a wealth of knowledge

he is 90 after all

maybe brook gets his clothes tailored??( bc who makes clothes so skinny a skeleton could fit them?!)

can play instruments no ones ever even HEARD OF before

randomly re-realizes his generation of people is dead

like now he has to accommodate with the youngsters 😭

i mean people in one piece live pretty long

but still they’re not out here kickin it n allike they used to

like rayliegh-

except he’s younger-

way younger-

ok so maybe whitebeard

but he was still jukin-

IDK MAN

one piece people are weird..

JINBEI

idk much about him especially but imma try

he’s so cool

he can prob cook really well

has very good survival and leader skills

plus instincts

wait how old is he??

ok

looked it up he’s 46

so he’s the 2nd oldest

technically would be first if brook wasn’t a moving pile of bones

yohohoho!

my apologies your right this is jinbei.

ok

i feel like he can dance

like he knows traditional dances of all sorts

i mean he could travel under water pretty fast

he should be able to visit different places right?

besides, he was a warlord

of course he did!

i feel he wouldn’t be a simp

as in for boa specifically

like he’s like i got too much going on to simp over some youngster

ik he ain’t real old or anything

but my dude a grown man

bro ain’t got time

he’s too busy being himothy

i feel he’d like poems

jinbei’s was like the most serious one. and that was still all over the place itself-

i take it back probably chopper or robin

this was fun but it took so long. it’s ok u guys enjoy :). i’m off to watch some anime 🏃‍♀️

oh my GOODNESS. so many tags 🤓

[sugar-omi]

Can you imagine what partner/group projects would be like with the Cove and MC in school?? (Ignoring the indifferent route) At school Cove sticks to the MC’s side like glue so imagine whenever the teacher announces that the class has to partner up or choose group members to do a project Cove just SPRINTS to stand beside you and grabs your hand to ask if you can work together (In step 1 I can just see Cove side eyeing any other group members that he has to work with) But also if the teachers like “Oh but you can’t choose who you work with it’s assigned” poor Cove will just complain to you the entire time if you end up not being able to work together, he’s all pouty like >:(

well if its in step 2, you get things done

not without lots of joking and daydreaming, but it gets done eventually

whereas in step 3, dating or crush, there's lots of flirting n hushed giggles.... like nothing gets done LMAO

either way (although especially in step 3) teachers get tired of your shit and decide to assign partners just to get everyone to socialize with others n blah blah blah

(i can barely say this bc i hate it sm!!! i was and am very shy so teachers forcing me outta my bubble had me fucked.... yes im traumatized jus thinking abt it omg i hate teachers, they think they know what theyre doing but this is a lot more damaging than they think ANYWAY MOVING ON OKOK)

cove will fret abt it the whole day, is dreading doing the assignment bc they wanna do it with you and not some stranger or some mean/rowdy classmate

omg during step 1 he's so clingy too, starts moving towards you for any group or pair assignment

at some point snaps abt how its ridiculous they're forcing him to be friends with other kids bc he doesn't like them like that n they don't like him like that and why force a shy kid to do smth they dont want.....

yeah your parents have to keep going to school to talk w the teacher abt this, its tough

by step 3 he can put up with it, but he's texting you like the whole time or getting ready to see you and if his group mates complain its "i did my part of the assignment."

can't even complain bc he did it and he did it right

when you do work together it's the most coordinated shit ever

somehow, even between lots of goofing around and a bit of flirting it gets done on time and if you have to present its done right

you're coordinated, n like a oiled machine

like i said cove takes on whatever you can't

i saw a post, cant rmbr if it was a tweet or a tiktok but he's the type that can't speak up bc they got his order wrong but will go ask the waiter for sauce for you

if its for the same class n assignment, you'll go look for the books n stuff you need together at least

and if you can work on it at home, you will put your parts of the assignment for your group together before you turn it in

omg especially in step 3 he acts like its the end of the world istg he's so dramatic

afterwards will fall over you n is like "omg we barely made it"

like bro. you had to play *insert bullshit gym activity* with another person for like 30 mins more or less CALM DOWN

just comfort him a bit n play along w his exaggeration n its okay <3

[mainstream-deviant]

Secret Santa 2023!

Hello hello -

Well, it's the 11th hour on xmas eve (possibly literally, depending on your time zone), but I'm here, very technically on time! :P

My giftee for the @super-secret-conspiracy secret santa event was @kitsunefaux, who gave me a pretty wide-open request for Ryou and/or Bakura by preference, with a few shipping options. Tendershipping was first on that list, so here we are. I hope you enjoy me subjecting poor sweet Bakura to the joy of winter weather for your amusement. ;)

Fic Rating: G (or I guess T if a couple of F bombs count)

Fic is below, or on A03 here

-------------------------

“Come on!” 

“No.” There was a pause. “Oh, fuck right off with the pouting.” 

“Is it working, though?” 

“...No.” 

“Pleeeeeeaaaaase? It’s so nice out!” 

“Not it’s not, it’s fucking cold.” Another pause. A judgemental look down. “That’s the only reason you even got me into this monstrosity. It ends there.” 

“Except it doesn’t. People need to see!” 

“Lies.” A pause, then a deep, soul weary sigh.  

“I’ll get your scarf!” A beaming smile. 

“....I hate you so much.” 

---------- 

Even though Halloween was clearly the superior holiday, Ryou always appreciated a nice fresh snow right before the winter holidays. And he was rapidly discovering that it was all twice as entertaining when you have a boyfriend with no concept at all of winter to lovingly torture with it all. 

He still couldn’t quite believe he’d managed to convince Bakura into coordinating ugly christmas sweaters for the day. It was good to know just how far Bakura was willing to go in the quest for winter warmth; that would probably come in handy someday. But for now, he‘d take his small victory. Here they were, all bundled up – Bakura in a scarf and a hat and mittens, goodness it was only barely below freezing, what were they going to do when it got properly cold – and out to enjoy the lovely winter’s day. 

Despite his earlier grumbling, Ryou could tell that Bakura was enjoying himself. Bakura’s gaze was darting around, eyes suspiciously wide and sparkly for a man who was supposed to be annoyed. A thick fog had rolled through the day before, leaving a thick layer of hoarfrost clinging to every available surface in its wake. The frost glittered now against the bright blue sky, turning the world to crystal. Ryou tucked his hands around Bakura’s arm and leaned into his side.  

“See, it’s not so bad, is it? It’s beautiful out here.” 

“I admit nothing.” Bakura glanced over at Ryou with what was probably supposed to be a stern look, but he didn’t quite manage to hide a tiny grin. 

Ryou couldn’t help but roll his eyes a bit at that, though he gamely tried to hide it. “Of course you don’t.” He smiled. “Fine then. Just enjoy the scenery, you grouch. I should have found you a grinch sweater to match the sparkling holiday cheer.” 

“A tribute to the best thief of the holidays? I’d take it.” Bakura made no effort at all to hide his smirk this time. 

Ryou now rolled his eyes quite a lot, and enjoyed Bakura’s laugher at his side. They fell into silence as they walked down the path together, just enjoying the fresh winter air and sparkling frost for a while. Suddenly, Ryou tugged on Bakura’s arm.  

“Oh, look!” He pointed up the path. “It looks like someone’s been flooding a little ice patch. Let’s go slide around a bit!” 

Bakura went stiff beside him. “Not a chance.” 

“Oh, but it’ll be fun.” 

“Nope.” Bakura planted his feet. “It’s bad enough walking in snow, there’s no way you’re getting me sliding around like an idiot. You’re on your own.” 

“Even if moving around a bit more would help you stay warm?” 

Bakura squeezed his arm to his side, tugging Ryou’s hands more firmly into his side in the process, and smiled. “You’re doing a good enough job of that already, thanks.”  

“I see.” Ryou gave Bakura’s arm a squeeze and considered his options for a moment before smiling up at Bakura with an exaggeratedly angelic look.  

“Well, I’m glad to be of service and all, but your heater needs a break.” Fast as a viper, he snatched the hat off of Bakura’s head and bolted towards the ice, gliding smoothly across it to hop into the snow on the other side. “Your precious warmth is right here whenever you’d like it.” 

“What the fuck!” 

Ryou burst out laughing. Bakura looked so deeply offended.  

“Come and get it!” Ryou grinned and shook the hat as though trying to tempt a bull. “Surely the greatest thief of the last few millennia can steal back a hat? All that’s in the way is a teeny tiny patch of i-” The next words were cut off by a burst of hysterical laugher. “What was that?!” 

Bakura looked up from the ground, where he’d splayed himself out the moment he set foot on the ice. “Shut your f-AH!”  

Ryou had to bend right over he was laughing so hard. Bakura kept trying to get to his feet, but he couldn’t seem to manage more than half a second of traction before ending right back on the ground in a heap of awkward limbs. Eventually, he lay still on the ice, despondently spread-eagle, and turned pleading eyes on Ryou. That was about as close to a plea for help as he was ever likely to give, and Ryou managed to calm himself down enough to take pity on the poor man.  

“Ok, ok, let me show you how it’s don- eep!” 

Ryou blinked up at the sky, which was suddenly straight ahead. He lay on the ground for a few seconds of stunned silence before turning his head to look at Bakura, who was lying still next to him, stunned expression on his face. They stared at each other for a moment, before bursting into laughter again.  

“It serves you right! Justice!” Bakura punched a fist at the sky, but wisely didn’t try to get up again.  

“Yes yes, me and my big mouth.” Ryou reached over to stuff the hat back on Bakura’s head. “I think that’s our sign to head home and warm up.” 

“About time. Let’s get the hell out of here.”  

Ryou shimmied awkwardly off the ice, dragging Bakura along in his wake as best as he could. It wasn’t graceful, but they got there. They always did.  

---------- 

Ryou returned to the couch with hot chocolates in hand, and gratefully sank into Bakura’s side when he held the blanket open for him.  

“Here. Chocolate mint for me, and a dash of chili pepper for you. Only the best. Better?” 

“Yeah. Better.” Bakura shifted to help Ryou settle in, and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Remember this the next time you think it’s a good idea to go outside and freeze our asses off. We can skip straight to the good stuff next time.” 

“Oh, but you had a fun. I saw how you were staring at all the frost. Wasn’t it beautiful?” 

“And cold.” 

“Well yes, that’s how frost works.” Ryou took a sip of his drink with a happy sigh. “But it was a good day.” Ryou smiled up at Bakura, warm and content.  

“Yeah. A good day.” Bakura leaned his head over Ryou’s, and they let the warmth sink in.  

[babygirl-garcia]

This is my first Garcia x Reader, so be gentle /lh

This is Garcia x tall AFAB!reader, because I never see enough Garcia content in my life. The next chapter, I promise, will be smokey and HAWT, so be on the lookout for that. Special thanks to @hotchs-big-hands and @criminalskies for your support in my endeavors 💅

“You’ll Be The Death of Me” [Garcia x tall AFAB!reader]

Dating apps were the last thing you thought you would ever use- but after sulking while your sister raved about her engagement and wedding plans, you decided that, damn it, it was going to be your turn. Love was never easy for you, you had an extensive list of messy exes to back this up, but at her request, you gave one of them a try.

With a sigh, you realized immediately that this app was full of beautiful people; beautiful people, sure, but not anyone that fit your interest. Models, swimmers, guys who held fish up to the camera proudly. They all seemed so fake and forced. The first day, after seventeen swipes left in a row, you decided to put the search on hold, that maybe it wasn’t worth it. And you did- you ended up forgetting about it for the next several days. You opened the app to check for any new notifications or messages, to no avail, and were about to close the app when you saw her:

The most beautiful woman you had ever seen.

Penelope Garcia was her name. She was beautiful in the way the others weren’t- her smile reached her eyes, genuine, and her two-toned hair reminded you of your very own when you had first decided to color it. Cute little butterfly clips sat atop two half-up space buns in one photo, and another showed her beaming with a small group of friends. You blinked as you remembered how to breathe, and chewed on your lip as you swiped right. You raised your brow as confetti showered the screen. “Hey,” you asked, turning to your sister. “what does ‘super match’ mean?”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

For the next week or so, you and Penelope messaged back and forth on the app, before you exchanged numbers per her request. You were currently sat at your desk in your room as you did a bit of scrapbooking, listening to your favorite artist in your headphones. A soft ping! pulled you from your work, and you grinned when you saw the notification from your messages at the top of your phone.

new message from Penelope

6:35 pm

Hey, cutie! Sorry it’s so late, but I wanted to ask u something… would u maybe want to go out for coffee or smth sometime? I like the direction we’re headed in, and I’m srry if this forward, I’ve never been one to make the first move like this. Okay bye.

new message from Penelope

6:35 pm

Not ‘bye’ like I’m done talking to u, I just… I guess I’m nervous? I don’t want to do it wrong?

You smiled softly and shook your head, pulling one side of your headphones off, and worked out a reply.

Hey, ur totally fine, sweets, no worries! I would love to grab some coffee with u. Name a time and place. x

The near-instantaneous reply pulled a laugh out of you:

new message from Penelope

6:37 pm

This Saturday, 2? Assuming ur free, I’d hate to pull u from work or smth

You wondered what she did for work, the two of you hadn’t discussed that yet, but that’s what a first date was for. Oh god, you realized- this was a date.

Works for me, gorgeous, my treat.

A minute or so passed between your reply and Penelople’s, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d sent the poor girl into a panic attack before- ping!

new message from Penelope

6:40 pm

It’s a date ;) Send me ur coordinates, and I’ll pick u up Sat

You grinned before sending her a screenshot of your address, then immediately ran to your closet to find something to wear.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

A few days later, Saturday, you stood before your mirror, lips pursed in thought. You weren’t the shortest thing, so most dresses gave the illusion of being smaller than they really were, but this one… it came mid-thigh, and showed off your long legs. You could fix this, you thought, heading back into the closet to grab a pair of fishnet stockings and a leather jacket to pull it all together. You glanced at the perfect pair of heels on your shelf that would match the dress better than any other pair- but hesitated. You hadn’t relayed to Penelope that you were tall, most likely far taller than her, and you didn’t want to scare her off this early. You settled instead for a pair of boots, then stepped back in front of the mirror to give yourself a final once-over. You fluffed your hair up, admiring your handiwork you’d managed with your curling iron. Your phone went off on your desk behind you, and your heart raced as you glanced at the time- 1:55 -and a text from Penelope.

new message from Penelope

1:55 pm

Srry, I’m a lil early, I’m just excited to see u. If u still need time, plz don’t rush!! x

You took a deep breath, hands shaking as you lifted your phone to send a reply.

No rush at all! Just finished up actually, omw out now. x

Giving yourself a few spritzes of your favorite perfume and grabbing the small purse you’d prepared, you headed out of your apartment and down the stairs, heart racing in your chest when you spotted the bright red car Penelope said that she’d be driving. And she; Penelope was standing outside her car, looking almost as nervous as you. She had also chosen to wear a dress, hers colorful and hugged her in all the best places. Her glasses, adorably, you noted, matched her dress. She had cute little heels, and you realized just how much shorter than you she was, but you pushed those thoughts back.

When she caught sight of you, Penelope’s eyes widened, a small smirk playing at her lips. “Hot damn, (Y/N), I could climb you like a tree.” She grinned devilishly, then giggled adorably- it was addicting already, you realized -and outstretched a hand before a look you couldn’t quite read crossed her face, and she instead opened her arms for your embrace, which you accepted gladly. She was warm, and she smelled impossibly of peaches and sunshine. “You look so good, I’m the luckiest girl in Virginia, nay, the world, to have such a babe on my arm.” As she spoke, she took your arm in hers, beaming up at you. “My lady, your chariot awaits.” She said, putting on a silly voice and gesturing to her car. She hurried you over to the passenger side door, opening it for you before making her way to the driver’s side to climb in. “You alright, got enough room? Esther might be a bit old, but she still runs like a dream.” She gave the car’s dashboard a fond pat.

“Yeah, I’m alright, thank you.” You reply, smiling easily at her. All of your nerves you had before washed away, you felt safe, like everything was right in the world.

Penelope grinned brightly, resting her hand palm-up on the center console. “Great. Just wanna make sure you’re comfy.” Realizing that it was the reason she’d put it there, you took her hand, and she immediately linked your fingers together. With her left hand, she poked a button on the radio. “You like dad rock, right? The old stuff, not the divorced-dad stuff.” When you answered in the affirmative, she hummed happily. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.” She gave your hand a squeeze before heading off for the coffee shop.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

After your date, Penelope brought you back to your apartment building, and the two of you sat chatting for some time. Two o’clock had come and gone, and the sun was currently beginning to set.

“So you really work for the FBI? That has to be stressful.” You asked her, turned in the seat to face her.

Penelope toyed with your fingers, your hand in both of hers, a soft smile on her face. “Sometimes.” She replies with a shrug. “I don’t do a lot of the action-y stuff, that’s more for the rest of the team, but I like to think I’m the backbone of the team.” She teased, letting go with one hand to dramatically flip her hair over one shoulder, earning a soft laugh from you. “But no, I could never do the stuff they do…” She shuddered at the thought.

“And you can just… find anything out about anyone?” You offered, changing the subject. “And it’s all right there?”

“Yep!” She beamed proudly. “Anything your pretty little heart desires. And sometimes the stuff you would never wish to see, but I have ways of drowning that out.” Her shoulders raised in a light shrug before she chewed her lower lip, growing quiet.

“Penelope?” You whisper.

At her name from your lips, she glances over at you sheepishly. “I… I’m sorry, (Y/N), but I… I have to confess something to you.”

Your heart stopped, the nerves from earlier in the night returning to you. “Oh? Have… have I done something wrong?”

“No!” She says quickly, squeezing your hand comfortingly. “Nothing at all! I just… may or may not have used those skills to go on a deep dive…” Her eyes flit away, then meet your gaze again. “On you.”

You blink in surprise, trying to register what she’d said. “I- you…” After a moment, you offered a soft laugh. “I mean, on a technicality, I tried to do the same thing, all I found was your Instagram, though. Regular ol’ internet stalking, yknow?”

Her face lit up in relief. “Yes, exactly! Except, with my setup, I have… just a teeny bit more access than just Instagram.”

“Oh yeah?” You challenged. “Like what?”

She spoke quickly, citing off the information she’d clearly committed to memory. “Well, you were born September 2nd, 1979, two years after me, to Warren and Alice (L/N), your natural hair is blonde, you’ve dyed it seven times, according to your socials, love the one you’ve got now-” She reached out to twirl a curl around her finger gently. “-you’re near-sighted, just like me, but you rely on contacts because you don’t wear glasses, at least you don’t now-”

“Okay, okay!” You cut her off, laughing out loud. “You’re great at what you do, I get it.” You smiled fondly over at her.

“Oh, darling, I’m not great,” She started, quirking a brow. “I’m the best.” She grinned, and you returned it easily.

As you both made your way to your building’s main door, Penelope slipped her hand into yours. “I… I had a really great time today, (Y/N).”

You swung your hands as you walked, before stopping just in front of the door. “So did I… we’ll have to do this again, soon.”

“Soon?” Under the fluorescent streetlight, Penelope’s cheeks grew red. “I… I don’t usually get a second date, especially this soon-”

“Neither do I.” You interrupted, kissing her hand. “But I would be remiss to give up the opportunity of another wonderful night out with the elegant Penelope Garcia.”

Penelope laughed softly, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Tu es bien trop gentil avec moi.”

“Oh, she speaks French.” You pulled her closer, you were flush together now. “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”

A sharp gasp came from the shorter woman before you, and she giggled like mad as she gave you a noncommittal whack with her purse. “Not on the first date!” She stopped then, looking deep into your eyes, and reached up slowly on her tiptoes, face growing closer and closer to your own. You closed your eyes in anticipation, but she instead ducked to the left. “Mais pour le deuxiéme rendezvous, chérie, rien n’est interdit.” She whispered hotly in your ear. She pulled back slowly, pecking your cheek to the left of your lips before moving away and starting to walk away.

“You missed.”

Penelope stopped, turning back to you with a brow raised adorably. “I’m sorry?”

“You missed.” You repeated simply, heart racing as a devilish grin appeared on her lips before suddenly she was throwing herself at you, arms around your shoulders and your own snaked around her waist as you kissed her. Just as you’d expected, her kisses tasted just like she smelled- of peaches. It was intoxicating, her kiss, and you never wanted it to end. Which is why your heart sank slightly as she pulled away.

“Call me.” She said, voice low and sultry, and she shot you a cheeky wink. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Goodnight, Penelope.” You watched her off, waving as she drove from the lot, and you went upstairs to your apartment, flopping onto your bed with a heavy, blissful sigh. Penelope Garcia. That woman would be the death of you.

[angy-mouse]

Puck Bunny Part 4

6k motherfuckers! Can you tell I'm in love /j

As before, fluff with some suggestiveness, and some light self deprecating thoughts that get quickly shut down

<Prev >Next

“Oh, that whore!”

“Who’s a whore?” Your switch flew from your hands with a shriek, thankfully landing on the recliner instead of Niki’s face. “Nice shot.”

You jabbed an accusing finger at her, like she could be blamed for your lackluster hand-eye coordination. “You’re supposed to be at work!” 

Niki (who you learned did not hold grudges) handed your switch back, brushing your feet off the couch so she could flop next to you with a groan. “Becky asked for the last half of my shift. Her girl wants to play football next year, so she’s trying to get all the extra time she can.”

“European football or American football?” 

“Screw you… European.”

“That’s good, there’s less to buy.” 

“True, and less chance of a concussion. So, who’s a whore?”

You gave a shrug, going back to your game now that your curiosity’s been sated. “Fucking Marnie: I need to buy a pig before fall, but she’s too busy bouncing on the mayor’s dick to run her fucking shop.”

Niki leaned in close, peering over your shoulder only to see an 8-bit world of flowers, green grass, and a sparkling blue river. “... You need a hobby.”

“This is my hobby.”

“Another hobby. You could come running with me.” Your lip curls too quick for you to hide it. “Alright, point taken.” There’s a beat where you’re sure you were rude, and now that you’re not crying over the last guy or humping the next one she’s not interested in talking to you. Niki is kind, but maybe she doesn’t want to hang out with you, which you’re just going to have to be okay with.

You don’t realize she is talking until the back of her hand smacks down on your thigh. “I said, tell me about your date.”

You blink, pausing your day to not waste those precious minutes. “You wanna hear about my date?”

She’s leaned back, eyes closed as she rolls her shoulders, but she still nods. “Yeah. I saw the to-go in the fridge- where’d he take you?”

The switch clinks on the coffee table as you put it down, and the sofa groans under you as you pull your feet up. “Well, I don’t remember the name of the place because he wouldn’t tell me: I’d been bugging him about letting me pay for something so he said he wasn’t giving me the name so I could look up the prices.”

“And was that your plan?”

“Of course it was.” A warmth blooms in your chest as you get a high-pitched giggle out of her and the words start spilling out. “But the menu didn’t have prices on it, and I’m pretty sure he’d said something to the hostess to get that because it was nice, but it wasn’t snooty-fancy nice, ya’know?”

“How nice was it?”

“Complimentary bread, but plenty of families.” For a second, you think that wouldn’t make sense to anyone but you, but she nods, so you move on. “I said I couldn’t decide between the alfredo or the surf-n-turf- just making conversation- and when the waitress came up, he ordered them both and even ordered two entrées for himself so I didn’t look like a pig.”

“You’re not a pig,”

“Oink, oink.” 

You got another snort of laughter out of her. “What about dessert? A good man treats you to dessert.”

“I was stuffed! I told him I couldn’t eat another bite and he was all-” You furrowed your brow and pitched your voice down in a poor man’s imitation of Punz. “‘What about Niki? I don’t wanna be on the wrong end of her shovel. Have a bite just to make sure it’s good and you can bring the rest back to her.’ So, yeah, there’s half an alfredo bowl, some sirloin, and a slice of cake that’s all yours if you want it.”

“Good man.” You barely have time to wonder if that’s a joke before she’s reaching over to take your hand in hers. A soft smile painted across her features, the kind that made her eyes shine with a soft affection that couldn’t be faked. “I’m happy for you,” she promised softly, like it was a secret to be shared only with you. “You deserve a good man. And I really hate to change the subject, but either I’m sleep-deprived or someone’s playing country music outside our window.”

You take a moment to listen. 

Now she’s coming home to visit

Holdin’ the hand

Of a wild-eyed boy

With a farmer’s tan

“Who the fuck is listening to Trace Adkins that loud,” you muttered, pushing off the couch.

“Why do you know who Trace Adkins in?”

“Because he’s six and a half feet and the only sixty-year-old I’d bend over backwards for.” She gives a mumble of, ‘fair enough,’ as you reel up the blinds, laughter bubbling out of your throat at the sight on the lawn. “Oh my god,”

There was no way of knowing if Sapnap had started dancing at the beginning of the song or when he saw movement in your window, but he was going hard. Full-on country boy line dancing, complete with a white cowboy hat, as he held his phone above his head like a boombox. You’re pretty sure he even had a picture of a boombox pulled up to complete the look.

You pushed the window open. “What the hell are you doing?!”

You would’ve thought you’d shouted, “Yes, Sapnap, I will marry you!” He lit up like a bulb, a big cheesy grin spread across his cheeks, the apples pushing up into his eyes to turn them into little crescent moons. His lips moved, but all you could hear was Trace’s, “turn it up!” His face dropped into a pout when he realized and fumbled with his phone. He finally got the song paused and you waited for what could possibly be so important.

“Hi, sugar!” 

You snorted as he waved, wiggling your fingers at him. “Hey, handsome. What’s wrong, couldn’t find any pebbles to throw?” 

“Well, I wasn’t sure which window was yours: not a mistake I wanna make.” The way he shuddered made you think he did make that mistake, but the thought left as soon as it arrived because he was looking up at you with those puppy dog brown eyes. “Wanna go for a walk together?”

You get a vision. Fluffy brown ears and a tail wagging at mach 4. It fits way too well, especially when you imagine him asking, “Walk? Walk, walk, walk?” 

Besides the dog-like implications, it’s sweet. Classically romantic, and somehow it fits Sapnap perfectly. But still, part of you craves sitting alone in your room with a video game.

He waves again. “Hi, Niki!”

Her laugh vibrates through your arm as she squeezes into the window next to you. “Hi, Romeo. What’cha up to?”

“Punzy said I can either get my ass out of the house by myself or go to the gym with him, so I’m asking my sugar on a date ‘cause fuck ‘im.” 

Niki gave a solemn nod. “Fuck him indeed,”

There’s a part of you that’s terrified of what these two could talk about if given the time, and it pushes you past your slight hesitation, calling out, “let me find my shoes,” as you duck back inside. You can hear them talking as you scramble for some decent walking shoes.

“So, what’s with the hat?”

“It’s sunny out.”

“... So you just had that?”

“I’m from Texas, Niki.”

“Hey, don’t forget a water bottle.” You’re shoving your feet into your sneakers before you realize she’s talking to you. “He’s right, it’s pretty sunny out there.”

“I’ll be fine, mom.” You think you’re funny, right up until she sticks her head back out the window.

“She can’t come out to play, she’s gonna get her ass beat.”

You threw open the mini fridge. “I’m getting a bottle, Jesus!” 

“Alright, she’s headed down- whoa, look at him go.” Niki ended in a mutter, leaning further out to presumably watch Sapnap dash for the front of the building. You replaced your switch on the dock, just in case you were gone long enough for it to die, while she closed the window. “You got everything?”

“Yes,” you insisted, painting on a false air of exasperation just for the theatrics. “I have a water bottle, I’m wearing good shoes, cell phone’s in my pocket, and I’ll be back before the streetlights come on.” You made a dash for the door before she could snap back. “Bye, mom, love you!”

You’re halfway down the hall when you realize what you’ve said.

“I did NOT just tell her I love her. Holy shit, this is worse than calling your teacher mom. I DID call her mom!” 

Your phone buzzed against your ass and you almost don’t look at it.

Ich liebe dich auch :P 

Sapnap is waiting for you outside and lets you dive into his arms. “Hey, sugar,”

“Smother me,” you command into his sternum. 

His hand comes up to cup the back of your neck, thumb and index finger massaging circles into the base of your skull. “But then we can’t get ice cream.”

A snort escapes you as you adjust to give him a proper hug. “Oh my god, you’re so right. What was I thinking?”

“Crazy talk, that’s all it was.”

“Crazy,” you agreed, glancing up at him. Your cheeks warmed and a smile crept onto your face as you realized he was already looking at you. “Hi,” you hummed, pushing up onto your toes, hands braced against his broad chest.

“Hi,” he hummed back, meeting your lips as if he’d been desperately waiting for any sign that it was okay- as if he hadn’t done far worse with far less. He pressed featherlight kisses against you over and over, like he was as afraid as you were that too long and you’d fall into each other right on the lawn. 

When you finally peeled yourselves off each other it wasn’t far, his thick fingers threading through your smaller ones as you set out. “There’s a chocolate haus right nearby with all kinds of ice cream, I thought we’d go there. They make it all in-house, it’s really good.”

“How do you know where there’s a chocolate haus when the fat bitch who actually lives here has been going to Walmart for chocolate?”

He gave your hand a tug like a punishment. “You’re not a bitch, you’re my sugar bunny.”

“Oh, baby,” you cooed, hugging his arm to your chest, “I’ve got you pretty fooled, huh?” 

“And anyway, you’re too obsessed with your schoolwork to go exploring like I do.”

“I’m not obsessed with schoolwork!”

“‘I haven’t eaten, I’m too busy studying,’” he mocked.

“Your impression of me makes me sound like I’m in the eighth grade.”

“Well, in my impression of you, you only have an eighth grade education.” He beamed when you couldn’t even pretend to glare at him. “It’s alright, sugar: you get that degree, and we can try everything you missed together.”

Oh.

Oh. Thoughts of exploring life together filled your mind. Adventurous new toys in the bedroom, laughter as you bumbled through a new recipe in the kitchen, screams of joy on roller coasters too dangerous for you to ever try alone. Your heart in your throat in every one, but a tight squeeze of your hand- a promise that you’re not the only one who’s scared- gives you courage every time.

Sapnap isn’t as obscenely tall as Punz or Sam so it only takes a skip in your step to plant a fat kiss on his cheek. “What’s that for,” he hummed.

“I need a reason to give a cute boy a kiss?”

“No, but I’d hope you’re not running around kissing every cute boy you see.”

“Only the ones who feed me,” you tease, bumping him with your hip. “Pretty sure I’ve got a fat tab rung up for the fucking part of that deal.” 

He shook his head, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It doesn’t count if we both eat: that’s just a good time.”

“You got that right, at least,” you mused as he kissed his way across your knuckles. His thumb wandered like he was anxious, drawing shapes and letters and random nonsense over your hand as far as he could reach without letting go. 

“... Your campus is pretty,” 

You glanced around. There was a game of Frisbee in full swing on the left lawn constantly tripping over the few people actually studying, and a sizable yoga group on the right. The trees were well past their blossoming stage, but still a bright green as they resisted against the cool fall air. “It is, huh?”

“Yeah. Our campus has, like, one tree. It’s all concrete and pavement.”

A noise of disgust fell from your lips without intending to make it. “Cityscape. Give me a forest any day.” 

“It kinda reminds me of home, but, yeah, over here is way prettier.”

You put on your best aghast face. “Wow, fake cowboy. You’re a total city boy, aren’t you?”

“It’s my darkest secret,” he drawled with a grin. Even with all his bravado, his cheeks were still pink. “Sam’s the country boy, I was a suburbia baby.”

“That hat is a lie.”

“But it makes my beard look way sexier.”

“Another reason to take it off,” you declared, snatching it off his head and placing it on yours. The brim dropped over your nose, so you pulled it back and let it hang around your neck by the strap. “You go around looking too sexy, panties start dropping, they have to put out a flash flood warning-” He obviously stopped paying attention the second you stole his hat if his dopey look was any indicator so you really went into it. “And I can’t fight off the entire female populous by myself, but maybe if I sat on your face in front of them all-” Sapnap stopped walking, his grip on your hand pulling you to a stop with him. “Hm? What’s up?” 

When you turned, you saw his gaze had fallen off of you at some point, the realization shooting an arrow through your chest. Were you boring him? You shouldn’t talk so much. Maybe some skinny yogi in a sports bra was getting his attention.

“That sign says ‘free.’ I’m trying to read the rest, but I think I need glasses.”

You felt ashamed for ever questioning his integrity.

“Free beginner’s yoga,” you read for him, “no experience, equipment, strength, or flexibility required.”

His thumb started strumming across your skin. “I wonder if that stuff actually works. I mean, I know football players will sometimes learn ballet…”

There’s a moment where you’re trapped in your own thoughts. Thinking about all those gym classes trying to keep up with the fitter kids, feeling their eyes as they were forced to wait for you before moving on. Thinking about your first roommate who wouldn’t stop trying to talk to you about your aura. 

Then the moment’s over because you remember the way he’d put it. 

We can try everything you missed together.

And he was so good for that, and he deserved someone who was going to be just as good to him, and you sure as hell weren’t going to give him up willingly, so you were just going to have to be good enough for him.

So your other hand joined your clasped ones and tugged him over. “Come on, let’s try.”

He shook his head, but his expressions were easier to read than a picture book: he’s not resistant, he’s embarrassed. “No, it was just a passing thought, we don’t have to, I just-”

“Trying everything together, remember?” A smile crept across your lips as his ears burned cherry red, but he let you guide him onto the grass. “Do you actually want to do it, or do you just want to see me put my ass in the air?”

“A man can want two things,” he pushed out with a cheeky grin.

You snorted, gesturing to your chest with your chin. “Yeah, I know: one, two.”

He held your hand for as long as possible as you walked away, calloused fingertips trailing down your softer ones until the very last second. You almost said ‘fuck it’ and tackled him for the touch back, but you restrained yourself. 

You followed the others’ lead, thankful for your position at the back to hopefully obscure anything embarrassing you might do. Although, you had to admit, it wasn’t that tough: you’ve been sitting criss-cross-applesauce since preschool. They were doing steeple with their hands, too: something else you had down pat.

The teacher was a thin woman with abs that made you jealous and a powerful voice. She’d given you a smile as you dragged Sapnap over, but now her eyes were closed. “Bring your chin down towards your chest,” she hummed, “and feel that amazing stretch in the back of your neck.”

Oh, shit, that actually felt great.

“Try to lift your chest towards your thumbs and see if that gets you to sit up a little straighter.”

A fucking moan escaped as your back popped in three different places, heat flooding your cheeks as Sapnap snorted. “Stop that,” he whispered. “If it feels that good, you won’t need me anymore.” The girl in front of you snorted, so you ignored him in hopes of pretending he wasn’t talking to you.

After a few minutes, you couldn’t figure out why you’d been so hesitant to yoga. Mostly, you’d only done cat and cow repeatedly, and it shocked you how good it felt. Like you’d been shoved in a crate in your sleep for the past month, and your body was finally able to breathe and move the way it was supposed to. You almost apologized to the collective group.

“Push up into downward dog,”

“Scratch that: yoga sucks,” you decided. You had a face full of titty, no upper arm strength to hold this pose, and Sapnap wasn’t even behind you to appreciate how great it makes your ass look, so what the hell’s the point. 

“Fuckin’ skinny people bullshit.” It isn’t until the girl in front of you laughed so hard she fell back down to tabletop pose that you realized you let your inside bitching turn into outside bitching. You could feel the heat rushing to your face and it wasn’t just because of this stupid pose. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered, trying to backtrack, “I didn’t mean-”

“Nah, girl,” she insisted as she pushed back up, “don’t apologize: you gotta stick by your guns.”

There was a murmur of agreement from beside her that drew your attention. Unfortunately, you were stuck staring at their ass from the way everyone was positioned, but you did appreciate that ‘they’ was printed on one cheek and ‘them’ on the other. Props for both hilarity and remarkable efficiency. “Say it with your chest,” they insisted. “Speaking of: this move was definitely made by someone without tits. I’m suffocating.” A snort escaped you, but Sapnap sounded like a leaking balloon as he wheezed trying to hold his laughter in, flopping on his side in the grass like he’d officially given up. 

“Friends,” the instructor called out, and you just knew you were going to get kicked out. Kicked out of a free yoga class: you’ve never stooped so low. “Reminder that if I’m telling you to do something your body doesn’t like, please listen to your body. You know yourself better than I do.”

“I’m fine, I just like to bitch.”

“I’m not,” you admitted, dropping into a child’s pose to push your hips back. “But I’ll still bitch with you.”

You caught a glimpse of an enthusiastic thumbs up. “Fuck yeah: big bitch solidarity.” 

The first girl turned around to face you instead of the instructor, giving you an eager smile. “You should totally come back next week: Adrienne usually brings her dog to class. We got totally cheated this week.”

“Benji is getting his teeth cleaned so no one passes out when he starts panting. Drop back into tabletop, and stretch that left ankle back for me as far as you can. Remember that we’re trying to create a long stretch through the spine, and the crown of the head is an extension of the spine.” 

“I never realized how heavy my head was,” you admitted as you consciously lifted it. 

“You got too many brains in there,” Sapnap claimed. “Play more video games.”

You cocked your head to make sure he saw your false offense. “I play so many video games. Hey, why are you on the ground? Get your ass up here and suffer with me!” 

“It’s haaard!”

“Oh my god,” the person in front of Sap cackled, “how long have you been dating?”

You can feel a heat take over half your face. “What makes you think we’re dating?”

“You sound exactly like us.”

The girl cackled. “‘Yoga is sooo easy,’” she mocked. “They do strength training and the first time I dragged them to class they threw such a fit!”

“Don’t tell them my shame!” The two of them followed along with the teacher in some contortionist move you could never pull off unless you suddenly lost forty pounds and half a tit, but it did mean you could finally put a face to the other. “You do this every time we meet new people! Stop using my embarrassment as an icebreaker!”

Sapnap’s grin was palpable in the air. “Now, that’s an idea.”

You pointedly didn’t look at him. “Another word, you won’t see me topless ever again.” 

“Shutting up.”

The girl wobbled again as she laughed. “You’re smarter than Andy, at least.”

Sapnap retrieved his hat from the grass where it fell off your head and settled it back in place. “I know my place. Sapnap, by the way.” 

“Josie,” she gave back, and you offered your name, too. “My partner Andy. Romantic partner, not yoga partner. They’d never last.”

“I don’t blame them: I’m tapping out,” you admitted, sitting up properly. You blinked when you realized you were just a bit taller than usual and your constant headache was gone. “Okay, hold on, this might be worth it.”

“Right?! Doesn’t it feel so good after? Hang on-” Josie leapt to her feet and skirted through the crowd, rifling through the instructor’s bag.

“Do you mind, Jo?”

“Damn it, Adrienne, I’m trying to network for you, but this purse is a disaster area. Aha!” She brought the flyer back to you with all the pride of a cat delivering a dead mouse, so you would’ve felt bad not accepting it. Especially as she eagerly started to point out the different lines of text. “The club gets together every week, and Adrienne puts together different routines, so one week is stretching, then core strength-”

Andy grabbed their girlfriend around the waist and manually pulled her back. “Personal space, babe.”

“Sorry,” she gushed, “I get kinda excited.”

“That’s okay,” you told her, because it really was. When was the last time someone got really excited talking to you? Asking you to join them? 

You knew the answer as thick fingers laced with yours. “Should we go, sugar?” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, almost like a little beg. I’m tired of sharing you. “Think we earned our ice cream,” 

The thought enters your mind that he’s too pretty and sweet, and he deserves a good kiss. Sweet and pretty boys need a good kiss now and then. So you kiss the back of his hand clasped in yours just like he had as you murmur, “yes, we have.” You offer the couple your best smile, too, just to make sure they know you aren’t fleeing. “I’ll have to come to another class without my tag-along.” Sapnap makes an indignant sound as he pulls you to your feet, especially when Josie responds with, “same here,” and then Andy is indignant, too. 

“You two can have fun turning into pretzels,” Sapnap promised, “Andy and I will bring the actual pretzels.”

“Ooh, we should get pretzels, too.” You bid your goodbyes as you resumed your walk, detangling your fingers from Sapnap’s to hug his arm as you consulted the flyer. It was little more than a time and place under a curly Yoga Club header, but still you searched for something to convince you to go again. 

“They were nice.”

Sapnap. Shame on you. Nice boy wants to go for a walk with you, and you’re giving your attention to a half sheet of copy paper. You pressed yourself more firmly against his shoulder. “They were,” you admitted, forcing yourself to believe it. Pushing aside every insecure thought about how they secretly hated you for intruding on their space- a space that anyone with eyes could tell wasn’t yours to take.

No. They were nice. They were a cute couple, and they were nice. 

People can pretend to be nice.

Sapnap leaned down. His nose bumped against the crown of your head, getting you to look up enough for him to kiss your forehead. “You thinking about joining?”

You’re shaking your head before he’s finished speaking. “They don’t need some amateur slowing them down,” you tell him with a forced laugh. You hope he takes it as a joke and laughs along.

He doesn’t. His eyebrows furrow under his white brim. “I don’t think it’s that kind of thing. I mean, the head yogi or whatever even said that if you can’t do the pose, you can just do child’s pose. Which, I thought was ‘drank too much last night’ pose, but whatever.”

“Okay, first: instructor,”

He grinned. “Yogi Bear,”

You chose to ignore him. “And second: they were probably only inviting me to be nice, so it would be awkward if I went.”

There’s a beat of silence where you think you’ve successfully ruined the conversation, letting your anxieties out into the open where they should never be. You stumble as you realize Sapnap’s stopped, peering up at him as you try to place his expression. 

Somewhere between adoration, exasperation, and maybe constipation. 

“Sugar,” he cooed. A heavy hand came up to caress your cheek, covering the entire side of your face in his palm as he strummed across your cheekbone with his thumb. “You are wonderful-” You practically melted in his hand. “And breathtaking-” Oh, you were a puddle! “And usually so smart, but that might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I live with a bunch of hockey players.”

“What?!” He’s still petting your cheek so you move to shove him away and get pulled into his chest instead, lapels fanning out around you like even his varsity jacket was trying to suck you in. “Don’t hug me! You’re an ass!”

“Sweet, sweet, bunny,” he cooed- oh, you could hear the grin on his stupid handsome face. That bastard! “Don’t fight it. Just listen for a sec- I said don’t fight it- listen for a second.” He let you thrash against him for another minute, knowing full well you could slip out if you really wanted to, until you settled against him with a huff. “Okay, sugar, now hear me out,” he bargained. “If they were just being nice, they would’ve just been nice. There was absolutely no reason to give you the date, place, and time they meet up at if they didn’t want you there. People don’t do that, sugar. That’s some next-level soaps type conspiracy where you go just to find out your evil twin is sleeping with your sister.”

You don’t know what it is, and you’re definitely going to run some experiments to figure it out later, but something breaks past your anxiety. Maybe it was the factual way he said it, that your messed up brain said, “oh, we didn’t know that,” and accepted it the same way you don’t get anxious about what color the sky is: it’s a fact. Maybe it’s the heavy, woodsy scent that completely envelops you from inside his jacket, filling you with a warmth that went beyond just being protected from the breeze. 

Maybe trying to figure out why your evil twin would sleep with your sister, who would therefore be the evil twin’s sister as well, control-alt-deleted your entire system.

You took the win either way.

“I’m not trying to push you into going,” he promised with a firm squeeze, like he secretly wanted to make his jacket so comfortable you decided to live in it with him. “But I know how easily anxiety can drown out reality.”

Something in his tone strikes you. You get flashes of your previous ‘dates’. A desperate clutch on your hand as you walked out of the rink. An arm behind your head like he didn’t want you to forget he was there. Holding you tight to his chest, still inside you as he declared, “You can’t take her, she’s mine!”

You pushed your arms around him, still under the jacket, and squeezed him tight. You didn’t know what to say. What could possibly convey, “I’m a fucking anxious moron, but I’ll try to help you not be an anxious moron because I like you way more than I should.” You settled for, “maybe I’ll go. Niki did say I should get a new hobby.”

He buried his nose in your hair like he understood what you meant to say. “Yeah? Three guys not enough to take up your time?”

“I don’t think sex counts as a hobby.”

<3E>

You were panting, breath coming out in long, drawn-out gasps, emphasized for his benefit. “Oh my god,” you gushed, “It’s too much! I can’t handle it!”

“It’s a fucking thirteen degree slope.” His giant grin is what saves him, because if you’d detected a single ounce of judgement for your unfit lifestyle, you would have turned around immediately. 

“It’s fucking unconstitutional, is what it is,” you tell him instead. 

“Unconstitutional,” he repeated back, like the word was hilarious.

“Telling a cute girl you’ll buy her ice cream, then making her walk. It’s not right!”

“Well, you won’t let me carry you,”

You huffed, taking another bite of your ‘Oreo Brownie Explosion’ which was somehow even more chocolatey than the name suggested. “I already stole your hat and made you do yoga: I’m not breaking your back, too.”

“I’m making Punz record me next time we work out,” he promised, extending his hand that didn’t hold his own cone to help you over an uncovered root. It was probably a two-inch tall obstacle, but he was so cute, you took his hand anyway. “Maybe doing some hip thrusts and benching with your weight on the bar will get it through your thick, pretty head.”

“Nice save with the ‘pretty,’” you drawled. He didn’t let go of your hand after you conquered the root, so they swayed between you. “Although I’m not thick: I’m fat.”

“Deliciously,” he agreed, suddenly aiming his teeth to your neck. “All the more to eat, my dear-”

“Stop, your lips are covered!” 

Any attempt at saving your pores bites the dust when he starts blowing raspberries across your sensitive skin, your roaring laughter echoing through the trees. Especially when he mutters, “oh, shit, sug’, made a mess of ya” and starts kitten licking ice cream off you.

“What flavor is that, again?”

He offered his cone. “Mint Mountain. I think it’s got Andes bars and York patties in it.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Ugh: you had to be a mint lover, huh? We better get to this secret you wanted me to see quickly. I can’t be seen with someone who likes mint ice cream.”

“It’s got chocolate in it, just like yours!”

“Don’t you dare compare that monstrosity to my amazing chocolate!” 

“Watch your step.” He helped you over another root, hand sliding to the small of your back. “It’s right over here.” 

“Are you gonna tell me what it is?” His cheeky grin says ‘no’ without him having to. “I want you to know,” you told him emphatically, “if you’re taking me deep into the woods to kill me, I will haunt your ass ‘til the end of time.”

The trees gave way as you walked to reveal a grassy hilltop dotted with wildflower patches. Bright purples, reds, and blues sprinkled through the lush grass to mirror the bright stars starting to peek through the foggy sky. The other side of the hill was much steeper, letting the city landscape sprawl out like a blanket thrown over everything. Sapnap squeezed you tight and a warmth bloomed in your chest. He found this beautiful spot just for you? It touched you so thoroughly you nearly forgot what you were even talking about before.

Until he leaned close, lips brushing across your ear, and hissed, “then we’d be together forever.”

“Oh my god, you do that too well,” you snorted.

“And ever, and ever-”

“Stop!”

He threw his head back so he didn’t destroy your eardrums as he cried, “AND EVER,” into the dusk with a giant grin. He clumsily shed his letterman as he ran in front of you, passing his cone from hand to hand to keep the jacket clean, which was promptly null as he tossed it on the ground. Maybe it was the ice cream he was worried about ruining. “My lady,” he offered with a dramatic bow, kicking the lapels open for more surface area. 

“Why, thank you, my dear.” 

The name sort of slipped out: he called you my lady, so you were just playing along. He flushed so pretty, though, and when you sat he snuggled right up to you like he was accepting it. Yes, he seemed so say as his arm stretched out on the grass behind you, I am your dear. 

You pressed yourself into his side, settling in and soaking up his warmth. “This place another result of your exploring?”

“Just call me Dora.” Lights started flickering on across the city. Golden arches on the west side, living rooms all throughout as families settled in for the night. “In the summer, there are fireflies,” he told you, voice soft in your ear. You tucked your head against his shoulder. “I took my sisters out here camping once. I never got to see that kinda thing growing up, so it was fun.” 

A hum rumbled out of your throat as his thumb pet over the back of your hand. “Yeah? How old are they?”

“Too fucking old.” You laughed against his neck as he shook his head. “I have two baby sisters and a brother, and they’re all growing up too damn fast.”

“Kids do that,”

Sapnap hummed in agreement, and for a minute you were just sitting together. Cuddled up under the stars with ice cream, acting like you needed to share body heat even as you ate your icy treat. 

“They’d like you.” You pulled back to look at him. The dimming light did it's very best to hide his deep blush, but he didn’t. A different kind of smile spread over his lips- softer and shyer. “My sisters,” he clarified. “My step-brother doesn’t like anyone but his PS4, but the girls would like you.” He seemed to realize what he was implying, burying his mouth in his cone. “Probably try to humiliate me with stories or tell you you’re too good for me-”

A hand in on his cheek dragged his lips onto yours. He grunted into your mouth in surprise but fell against you, lips moving together soft and slow. You licked over his lips but didn’t push further, scratching your nails through the hair on his jaw as you pulled back. You pressed a peck against him when he tried to chase after you, smiling into it as it seemed to satisfy him. 

“I’m sure I’d like them,” you promised. A drop of something trembled on your lip as you spoke, and you licked it off. “Hm. Maybe mint’s not so bad after all.”

[scratchandplaster]

Aftermath of Drugging

CW: discussions of non-con drugging, spiking food, medical whump, overdosing, drug abuse, addiction, death, brief BBU-mention

Using drugs as a whump method is pretty common, and rightly so! As one of my favorite tropes, it was interesting to think about how they could affect the Whumpee after the act itself, be it physical or mental.

That's why I made a little compilation (for me and you), if you feel like agonizing your Whumpee even further. There are also some examples in between, for your entertainment!

The research is mostly relating to any downers, meaning any drug that makes you calm or fall asleep, so anesthetics, hypnotics or sedatives. Examples include ketamine, Rohypnol, GBL, propofol and heroin.

Uppers on the other hand have the opposite effect in stimulating the human nervous system. Some of the effects that are noted below are applicable to both kinds of drugs, but keep in mind that stimulants are more of an afterthought in this list. I'm going to recap the effects of both at the end.

I'm not a pharmacist by any means, but as far as reliable research for creative writing goes, this should suffice. No one is going to fact-check your whump fic, bestie ��

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

By method:

Ingestion (forcing them to take pills, spiking their food)

→ General indigestion, nausea, dry mouth

Injections via syringe or continuous administration through an IV drip (e.g. in medical settings)

-> Swelling/tenderness/infection/bruising of the injection side

-> High fever (even days after the injection)

→ Anaphylaxis: skin rash, chest tightness, dizziness, nausea, facial swelling

Anaphylaxis is an all-body allergic reaction that can cause mild to severe and even deadly symptoms (shock or coma). It can escalate and should be immediately treated with a shot of adrenaline. This kind of reaction could be detrimental to Whumper's plans, especially if they intend to keep Whumpee alive for the foreseeable future. So it would be helpful for them to always carry an EpiPen, just in case...

Inhalation (gas or liquid)

→ High risk of choking and (sleep) apnea

-> Irritation of throat, nose and eyes

-> Throat spasms (Laryngospasm)

Includes coughing, difficulty breathing/speaking and the feeling of suffocation. Even though this kind of spasm fades away pretty quickly, they cause severe stress and panic to the aggrieved party, even leading up to lose consciousness again.

Physical side effects:

-> Drowsiness/tiredness, headaches/migraines, tinnitus

-> Dry mouth/throat or excessive drooling

-> Dilated pupils (causing Whumpee to be light-sensitive)

-> Slurred speech

-> Skin rash, itching, hives

-> decreased/increased appetite (give them a little snack...or not)

Motor skills:

-> Muscle relaxation, ataxia (lack of movement control), general weakness

-> Poor coordination

-> Tremors, cramps, spasms

-> Numbness, paralysis of the body or extremities (a local anesthetic would also do that trick)

Vegetative effects:

-> PONV: nausea, vomiting, retching

-> Cold shivers or hot flashes, acute sweating

-> Arrhythmia, low blood pressure and heart rate

-> Labored breathing

-> Vertigo

The physical consequences alone can make the wake-up process a living nightmare for Whumpee. Any after-effects that inhibit them from just getting up and escape are probably the worst in such a situation, making them weak and useless even if no restraints are involved. Imagine Whumpee just breathing heavily and quivering with cold shivers on a basement floor, unable to shake this uncomfortable feeling off. Their whole system is just trying to get the drugs out, but doing more damage than intended. Numb to the world around them, not even feeling if they are hurt or wounded. Or imagine the complete opposite: Them being able to get up and stumble to the exit, only to be overwhelmed by intense dizziness and collapsing back onto their knees. All the while Whumper watches, of course 👀

Did Whumpee eat beforehand?

Prior to any anesthesia, the person has to fast for at least six hours beforehand. Because Whumpees rarely plan their own kidnapping or non-con high, Whumper should wait for the right moment to get it done. Otherwise, they're risking aspiration or choking and therefore dangerous lung damage up to death; surely the most undesired outcome. Who would have thought that drug abuse can be dangerous...

Impure compounds? In my illegal drugs!?!

If your Whumper's stash really was cut with popular diluents e.g. other medication or lactose, the risks are surprisingly low. The threat of overdosing still comes from the main drug agent. However, mixing downers and uppers to cancel each other out can lead to a dangerous cycle, which amplifies the side effects and increases the risk to OD.

Mental side effects:

-> Nightmares, paranoia around food/drinks

-> Depression, anxiety, self-loathing (e.g. for not being careful enough)

-> Psychosis, hallucinations (optic, acoustic, in terms of taste etc.)

-> Dissociation, confusion, disorientation

-> Insomnia

-> Reduced anxiety or inhibitions

Now instead of being afraid, Whumpee could go batshit crazy and make fun of Whumper; spitting, biting and insulting their aggressor. An outburst they will probably regret later, when they're calm again and sober enough to understand the damage they have caused themself.

-> Memory loss/amnesia

Cue intimate Whumper, who just plays the part of a worried friend while keeping their love safe and controlled. Vague recollections of past abuse? No, just take another sip from your tea, it's alright... One could use drugs as a mean of removing memories altogether, I think in the BBU the "drip" is used to erase the whole personality of the Whumpee, making them a blank slate to train however one would like.

Withdrawal:

-> minutes or even days after the initial drugging

-> extreme anxiety up to paranoia

-> nausea, vomiting, indigestion

-> muscle aches

-> flu symptoms like a runny nose, sweating and fever

Depending on the kind of drug and how often it is used, withdrawal can start after just one dosage. "Not even once"-drugs include meth, heroin and crack cocaine. Also, barbiturates have a high risk of dependence. Speaking of it...⬇

Addiction as a long term effect:

-> Organ damage especially of the brain, liver, kidneys and the diseases that follow (including cancer, short weight, heart failure)

-> Loss of interests, behavior/personality change

-> Selling all valuables and ending up in poverty

-> Aggression/violent behavior

-> Shame and guilt

Isolated, financially and mentally unstable, Whumpee's life had been ruined with just a single act. Even Caretaker turned their back on their former friend. But Whumper would love to help Whumpee become sober again, under just a few conditions. On the other side of the spectrum: a Whumpee who finally managed to escape and take revenge on their abuser, they slowly but surely make Whumper ruin themself through their newly developed little habit...

To sum up:

Downers (decrease bodily functions and calm you down)

→ Unconsciousness, weakness, distortion of perception, failure of motor functions, coma

-> Common examples: Xanax, ketamine, propofol

Vs.

Uppers (stimulate bodily functions and mood)

-> reduced inhibitions, more prone to hallucinations, psychosis, seizures, serotonin syndrome (high heart rate, sweating, twitching, mania)

-> Common examples: meth, ecstasy, cocaine

Bonus: How to store your Whumpee!

The immediate consequence of drugging someone is to figure out how to keep them. Get them secluded and ready for whumping:

-> In the backseat, foot space or trunk of a car (use an ambulance, it's inconspicuous)

-> You know these roof boxes people strap on top of their car? Stuff ´em in there!

-> Put them in a box and ship them overseas

-> Basements are classics, but try the attic for a change

-> Just use a coffin, combined with an old hearse nobody is going to notice

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterpost]

[thelavendersquid]

Love Persevering (Tell Me How You Feel)

@amazingmsme and @thebest-medicine - The wait is over! Thank you both for your encouragement to write this fic!!!

Summary: Fjord wants nothing to do with the tickle fights his friends keep starting. Yet he can't help but be drawn to the subject and the memories it brings…

The Mighty Nein talk about feelings and process their grief for Mollymauk through the ticklish love language they all share.

Some grief and light angst but mostly tooth-rotting fluff.

My contribution to Mollymauk Week: Day 4 - Joy

Words: 7,028

AO3 Link

Sequel to No Words Needed but can also be read as a standalone

****

What is grief, if not love persevering?

****

Jester’s fingers scurry up Caduceus’ sides and he’s laughing immediately, stumbling sideways towards the tunnel wall and holding his hands up in a poor attempt to block her. Jester follows after him, laughing along as Caduceus’ back hits the wall and he throws his head back, squeezing his eyes shut tight and giving in to his laughter. He gives up trying to bat Jester's hands away and instead focuses on coordinating himself enough to retaliate - jamming his hands towards her armpits and wiggling as best he can possibly manage. His efforts are rewarded by a flinch backwards and sudden giggle. Caduceus can barely focus through his own giggles but he pushes forward, pressing his advantage, and feels Jester pull back slightly, succumbing to giggling.

Caduceus opens his eyes and finds her dancing from foot to foot, trying to escape his fingers without actually moving away. He laughs in an entirely new way, never stilling his fingers as they poke and prod up and down her torso and wiggle under her arms. Jester yelps and falls forward - throwing her arms around him and face planting into his stomach as she dissolves into full-out laughter.

That’s unexpected and Caduceus flinches as she does this, chuckling. Then he wraps his arms around her, pulling her in closer for a hug - as his fingers scribble up her back.

Jester shrieks. Heh. That trick always got his siblings too.

He feels Jester’s fingers pinching up his back just then - as she laughs into his stomach, which might be even more tickly. He’s laughing again.

Jester clings on tighter as Caduceus starts laughing - and he can’t let her win at hugging of all things, so he grips onto her even tighter in return. It’s a bone-crushing, tickly hug that has both of them laughing too hard for words. Caduceus can’t remember the last time he's laughed this hard and he’s reluctant for it to ever end.

Nonetheless, after a few moments it does - he slows his fingers and gently pulls Jester away so they’re facing each other. He squeezes her shoulder, still grinning ear to ear. “That was fun.” Jester beams back up at him. Caduceus looks up at the others - most of whom are looking distinctly uncomfortable. He gives them an easy grin. “You should try it, it’s a lot of fun.”

Jester spins to face the group too, looking delighted. “Yes! Oh Beau-oh! Are you ticklish?” She springs towards Beau, fingers wiggling and a downright evil grin on her face. Caduceus chuckles.

Beau, eyes wide as saucers and looking panicked, holds up her hand. “Wait, wait, no. I’ve got Caleb duty, I’m doing this, I’m busy.” She gestures frantically to her other shoulder, where Caleb’s hand rests.

Jester’s eyes travel up his arm to the glassy-white eyes indicating Caleb is watching them through Frumpkin at the moment. She turns back to Beau. “Alright fi-ne, but I’ll get you later.” She flashes Beau a grin which leaves Beau looking like she's seen a ghost - but with the faintest grin tugging at the corners of her mouth in return.

Jester spins towards the others. “Fjord! What about you?!”

If Beau looked panicked, Fjord looks downright horrified as Jester’s gaze lands on him. “Me? I, ah -“ he coughs and clears his throat, trying to bring his voice back down from where it seems to have leaped up an octave. “I don't have any idea what you’re asking.”

Jester has closed the gap between them with frightening speed. She flashes him that dangerous grin. “Yes you do. Fj-ord, I already know you’re ticklish!” And quick as lightning, her fingers scuttle up his stomach.

Fjord chokes on a gasp and reaches frantically for her hands. “Ah - Jester wait!”

Jester does not wait and Fjord fails to catch her hands, which means she continues wiggling her fingers over his stomach and up towards his ribs. She’s watching his face for any reaction.

It comes. Fjord sucks in a deep breath and clamps his mouth shut, biting down on his cheek.

Jester pouts at this and sets to work even harder. Her fingers poke and prod into the spaces in between his ribs. This has Fjord bending double and turning desperately away from her. Jester grins and flows with him. And Fjord can’t hold back a snort - which turns quickly into hearty chuckles he can’t manage to stop.

Jester laughs in delight and worms her fingers even higher, towards his armpits. Fjord splutters and dissolves into raspy laughter. “Jehehhehhehster ST-hahahahaha-stop ahahahahaha - STOP IT!”

Jester laughs along with him, following as he turns away from her even further. She glances over her shoulder, fingers still wiggling their way beneath Fjord’s armor. “Cad! Come help me!”

Caduceus is watching this with a slight frown spreading across his face. “Hmmm. Hold on a minute. Maybe you’d better give him a break.”

Jester catches something in his tone and turns around to face him. Her fingers on Fjord’s sides slow but don’t still entirely. She gives Caduceus a slight frown and he raises an eyebrow at her and nods towards Fjord. Jester turns back to look at her victim. Fjord is twisted as far away from her as he can possibly be, bent double trying to hide his face, tense as a board, and laughing through gritted teeth - clearly trying to stifle his laughter with little success. Behind the laughter he looks distinctly unhappy.

Jester’s frown deepens and she pulls her hands away. Fjord jerks away from her the moment he's free, turning so his back is to her. Jester blinks and drops her hands to her sides. “Fjord?”

Fjord is biting the inside of his cheek as hard as he possibly can to stop his chuckles. He coughs to clear the last of them away before growling over his shoulder. “Give me a minute. Go find someone else to torture.”

Jester's face falls. She turns to give Caduceus a sad look. He gives her a worried frown in return.

Fjord coughs a few more times for good measure. He can feel every eye upon him. He can also feel the heat rising up his neck. Ugh.

With a shake of his head, Fjord straightens up and turns to briefly face the group. His face is composed. “Come on. Let’s go.” His accent is firmly back in place and he stalks off down the tunnel, leading the way.

Fjord can hear muttering behind him as he walks away but he pointedly ignores it and walks on. Then - footsteps. And there’s Beauregard walking next to him, staring. Fjord glances over at her and she raises her eyebrows. Fjord clears his throat and gives a shake of his head, looking away quickly. Beau doesn’t say anything, but Fjord can feel her gaze locked on him.

Caleb, feeling Beau start walking again, drops back into his body. He blinks a few times to clear his eyes and looks around at the others with a frown. The energy has shifted so dramatically in such a short period of time. Caleb catches Beau's eye and raises his eyebrows at her. She gives him a shrug in return. Caleb frowns but stays quiet.

Jester stares after the others with a dejected look. She turns to Caduceus, who has collected his staff from where it was tossed aside. He gives her a sympathetic look, and slowly the two follow after the group, trailing behind alongside a confused-looked Yasha and Nott.

And so the group presses on in tense silence.

********************

It's several weeks before Fjord brings it up again. They’ve been busy, thankfully, and he hasn’t had time to let it occupy his mind. And mercifully, Jester and Caduceus have always left him out of their now-becoming-frequent tickle fights and ambushes on unsuspecting members of the Nein. The fact that Fjord makes a quick exit - or at least looks away awkwardly - whenever such events take place probably helps.

But he still can’t help but notice things.

It's not until the group is settled into their rooms at the next inn that Fjord says anything. The quiet night allows him far too much time to think, and he finds himself looking over at Caleb - who is definitely not asleep, Fjord can tell that much from his unsteady breathing.

He takes a deep breath and rolls over to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling. A cough to break the silence, then - “Caleb? Can I ask you something?”

Darkvision allows Fjord to see Caleb visibly jump at the sound of his voice. He turns his head to face his roommate. “Ja, of course.”

“Do you like being tickled?”

There’s a spluttering sound from the other bed and Fjord sits up, alarmed - just in time to catch sight of the wizard in the middle of choking on his own spit. Caleb sits up too, coughing. He’s careful not to look at Fjord. “Ah. I’m sorry. I was not expecting that, is all.”

Fjord nods. Caleb coughs again and brushes an arm across his mouth before sliding back down into his bed. Even in the dark Fjord can see his face is a good two shades darker than before. This does not discourage him from continuing to press.

“I only ask because I’ve seen Jester get you several times now and you’ve never told her to stop or to knock it off, so-“

“Have you tried telling Jester to knock it off?”

Fjord chuckles. “Fair.”

Caleb gives him a hint of a smile, then turns away as it fades and sighs. “I….ah….” He trails off into silence without finishing the sentence.

Silence hangs between them for a long moment. Both staring at up the ceiling without a word. Finally Fjord breaks it. “I don't care, by the way. But can you tell me why? What about it do you like? It’s torture. How can you like it?”

This is met with a slightly strangled sound, then silence. Fjord shifts in his bed to look over at Caleb. The wizard is staring, wide-eyed, up at the ceiling.

Fjord sits up again, looking worried and regretting everything. He shouldn’t have brought this up. “Forget I said anything. We don't have to talk about it.”

Caleb does not respond, just continues staring at the ceiling. Fjord watches him worriedly for a moment, then slowly slides down into his bed. He can feel his own heart racing as he stares up at the ceiling himself. What was he thinking? Of course Caleb doesn't want to talk about it, neither would he if someone brought it up like this - in fact isn't that what Jester did when she grabbed him and reminded him what tickling felt like in the first place? And didn’t he react just as badly? Why would he think this would go any differently? Caleb didn't deserve this. How stupid and insensitive of him for dragging him into it.

With a swoosh, Caleb throws his blanket back and leaps out of bed. Fjord jumps. He pushes himself up. “Caleb?”

No response. Caleb swiftly crosses the room, pushes open the door, and steps out into the hall.

Fjord throws his own blanket back, his feet hitting the floor. “Caleb!”

Not even a glance in his direction. Fjord hurries out of the room. Blinking as his eyes adjust to the light in the hall, he sees Caleb knocking on the door next to theirs.

There’s a creak and the door opens. A sleepy-looking Caduceus stands in the doorway, blinking blearily at them. He takes in the sight of a frenzied-looking Caleb standing in front of him and a confused and scattered Fjord a few steps behind. His face shifts into a soft smile, and he pushes the door open and steps back to let them in. Caleb steps inside and Fjord, not seeing any reason not to, follows.

Caduceus shuts the door and follows behind them, rubbing his eyes. Across the room on the other bed, Yasha is sitting up and looking worried.

Caleb is standing in the middle of the room. He’s fidgeting with his coat and staring at the floor. “I am sorry to wake you both up, I don’t mean to be a bother…”

Caduceus just waves a hand. “Nah. Never a bother.” He waves towards the ground, gesturing for them to sit, before turning away to start making tea.

Yasha is already getting out of bed. “You’re not a bother, Caleb. Do you want some privacy?” She’s sheathing her swords and looking ready to leave.

Caleb shakes his head. “Nein. No. Stay, please.” He drops to the floor, sitting propped against Caduceus’ empty bed.

Fjord, for his part, stands in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. Caduceus turns around, carrying cups of tea. He hands one to Fjord before lowering himself down to the floor, sitting cross-legged and leaning against Yasha’s bed, gesturing for Fjord to join him.

Fjord reluctantly sits down across from him. Yasha has joined Caleb, the four of them forming a little circle in the middle of the bedroom.

Caduceus hands out tea. “So.”

Caleb takes his with both hands. “Danke.” He takes a deep breath. “Ah, I came here because Fjord was asking me about, ah…ti-“ He cuts off abruptly and looks down into his cup.

Caduceus takes a sip of his tea, waiting patiently. Caleb stutters and then trails off again, face growing darker.

Yasha is wearing a confused frown. “About what?”

Caleb takes a deep breath and tries again. “About ti…about kitzlen.”

This time both Yasha and Caduceus look confused. “What?”

Caleb takes a long drink of tea. Fjord sighs, rubs a hand over his face, and speaks up. “I was asking him about tickling. It’s really not a big deal, I shouldn’t have brought it up, let’s all just go to bed and not worry about it-“

He’s cut off by Caduceus’ sudden clarity. “Ahhh.” His expression has cleared into another soft smile.

Yasha’s face clears too and she leans back against the bed again. “Oh.”

Caleb looks surprisingly relieved, despite his face being about five shades redder than usual. He nods. “Ja. That. He asked me about ti…ah, that, and I would like to talk about it, but I…ah…I needed a mediator.”

“I don’t know what that is,” Caduceus says. “I can listen to the two of you talk if that’s what you want, though.” He takes another sip of tea.

Caleb nods. "That is exactly what I would like, thank you Caduceus.”

Caduceus gives him a smile. It's too full of knowing for Caleb’s liking and he looks away quickly. Caduceus’ smile widens.

Caleb takes a deep breath before heaving it back out in a sigh. He’s still staring down into his cup. “I - I do like kitzlen - ah, tick..tickling…Fjord.” He glances up at Fjord - who is staring at him in something like disbelief - before immediately going back to looking at his cup. “It’s a nice, ah, break. Like being inside Frumpkin. Or when I Polymorph. It’s nice to not have every single thought racing through my head. You know?”

Fjord nods slowly. He does know about racing thoughts. Beside him, Yasha is nodding too.

Caleb seems emboldened by this and presses on. He takes another deep breath. “I…like being stupid, sometimes. I am not, most times. Most times I cannot be. So it's nice to be able to sometimes, with people I can be stupid around. I can be stupid around you all and I am very grateful for it. And t…ah, tickling…it lets me do that. And also laugh. I have not laughed very much in my life, but I have never laughed more than I have with you all. And it feels…good.” His eyes dart up for a half-second, just long enough to see the group’s reactions.

Yasha and Caduceus are smiling softly at him. Fjord is staring right through him and looks distinctly uncomfortable, as if he just swallowed another orb.

Caleb takes a long drink of his tea. It helps. When he lowers his cup his face feels less flushed. He glances over at Fjord. “Does that answer your question, Fjord?”

Fjord blinks at him blankly for a moment, before giving his head a shake and sitting up quickly, clearing his throat. “Yes - yes, it does, Caleb. Thank you for sharing that.”

Caduceus gives Caleb a proud smile. “I’m proud of you for talking about that. You did great.” Caleb gives an awkward shrug and looks away, taking another sip of tea.

Caduceus turns to Fjord. “What about you Fjord? Why did you want to talk about tickling?

Fjord sucks in a deep breath and opens his mouth to respond. “Well, I…I…ah…”

Caduceus interrupts his stuttering. “Should Jester be here for this?”

This snaps Fjord out of it. He blinks and looks up at Caduceus. “Jester? Why should Jester be here?”

Caduceus gives a slight shrug. “It might be good for both of you. She was pretty upset after the last tickling incident.”

Fjord heaves a huge sigh and slumps against the bed frame he’s leaning on. He stares down into his cup. “Alright. Yes, she should be here too.”

“I’ll get her.” Everyone turns to see Yasha unfolding herself from the floor and making her way over to the wall dividing their room from Beauregard and Jester’s. She knocks softly. There’s a muffled sound from the other side - words that Fjord can’t quite make out - and then Yasha says, in her soft voice, “Can you two come over here? We’re having a discussion.”

There’s another muffled response and then a few seconds later, a knock at the door. Caduceus, who stood up to refill the tea, opens the door to let in Jester and Beauregard.

Beau rushes into the room, eyes darting around and looking ready for a fight. “Is everyone okay?! What’s going on?!” Jester follows her, looking concerned and just as ready for whatever they might face.

Caduceus holds out cups of tea towards both of them. Beau looks down at the cup, confused. Caduceus pushes it closer and she takes it on instinct, looking back up at him and then around at the others with a frown. “What’s going on?”

Caduceus hands Jester her cup and goes back to his spot next to the bed, lowering himself back down into a cross-legged seat on the floor. Yasha looks over to Beau. “I said we were having a discussion.”

“I thought that might be a code word for ‘we’re being held hostage, come help us!’” Beau carries her tea over and drops down in between Yasha and Caleb.

“Nah, we’re just talking,” Caduceus says, holding out a hand to beckon Jester over. She smiles and plops down next to him, taking a sip of her tea.

“What kind of conversation is this?” Beau asks before taking a sip of her tea.

“Yeah, are you talking about who you want to kiss or what?” Jester pipes up, waggling her eyebrows.

Caduceus sets his tea cup on the floor next to him and looks over at them. “Fjord was talking about tickling.”

Jester’s face lights up immediately and she spins towards Fjord. “Tickling?! Fjord, you were talking about tickling?! Oh, I’m so glad you called us over here, Yasha! Tickling is my fav-or-ite.” She smiles at Yasha, who returns it with a soft smile of her own.

Fjord’s face feels hot again and he busies himself with looking down into his tea once again so as to not have to look at Jester. Out of the corner of his eye he still manages to catch her face fall when she sees his discomfort. He feels something in his chest start to ache.

“So, where were we?” Caleb asks, setting his own cup down too. “I shared the depths of my soul, I believe it was your turn now.” He looks over at Fjord expectantly.

Fjord sighs into his tea cup before taking a breath and steeling himself. He swallows his feelings and looks up, expression - he hopes - settled back into one of confidence. “Right. Well. I was just asking what everyone thought about…well, tickling.” He raises his eyebrows as he looks around at the little group, doing his absolute best to look resolute and interested.

Jester gives him that bright smile again, although there's something sad deep in her eyes that Fjord wishes he hadn’t seen. “I loooooove tickling! It’s so much fun! Like, tickle fights - they're the best thing ever.” Her tail is wagging ever so slightly, tapping against the ground. Fjord can't help the smile that twitches onto his face.

“I don’t have strong feelings about it either way,” Beau says, across from him. Fjord turns to look at her and gives a nod. Caduceus turns as well and studies her for a moment, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Beau catches his eye and flushes bright red. She turns back to her tea quickly. The faintest of smiles spreads across Caduceus’ face.

Caduceus turns back to Fjord. “I like tickling. It’s fun. I’ve always had fun with it with my siblings and sometimes my parents too - we got my dad one time, that was great.” He grins at the memory, an infectious look that the others find the corners of their lips twitching to match.

Fjord turns to Yasha. “What about you, Yasha? What do you think?”

Yasha has been looking lost in thought, gazing down at the ground. She looks up and says, softly, "It reminds me of Molly.”

Fjord blinks in surprise before looking down at the ground himself. He nods, and his voice drops to a whisper as he says, “It reminds me of Molly too.”

Yasha gives him a soft smile, which Fjord looks up just in time to catch. “It’s just, it’s everything that he was, you know? He was…Molly was…he was so carefree and he loved to have fun, and he loved to make people laugh - oh, he loved to make people laugh.” She smiles brighter, fond, eyes drifting up to the ceiling as the memory comes back.

Fjord nods. “And he was so touchy. He was always looking for a hug or trying to get closer.”

Yasha looks back at him. “Oh yes, oh yes, he loved to be hugged and held and cuddle. He loved touch. And he - he felt like a warm hug. You know?”

Fjord nods rapidly. His eyes have become wet with tears. “He did. He really did.”

Yasha sniffs and reaches up to wipe away a tear of her own. “That's why tickling reminds me of him. It’s all those things wrapped up in one - all that touchy-feely, carefree, fun that feels like a warm hug. And that's what he was too. He was all of those things in one.”

Fjord can feel the tears startling to trail out of his eyes. He looks down, furiously trying to blink them back. “He liked it, too.”

“Tickling? Oh yes, he loved it.” A wet smile spreads across Yasha’s face again as she wipes away more tears that are steadily streaking down her face. “He loved both sides of it. He would tickle me to pieces so, so often - and he loved it when I’d get him back.” She looks back up at Fjord with that shaky, soft smile. “Some of my absolutely favorite memories are of those times."

Fjord nods and wipes a hand roughly across his face. “He got me a few times. I wish I’d let him do it more often."

“He got all of us, I think,” comes Caleb's voice from across the circle. Fjord and Yasha turn to face him and see him wiping away his own tears. A shaky smile perseveres on his face anyway. “He really loved it.”

Beau, next to him, takes a shaky breath and nods. “He got me too, the jerk.” She rubs away the tears that are trailing down her already wet face, past the fond smile she can’t manage to hold back.

Jester sniffles and says, softly, “We had so many tickle fights. It was so much fun.” She pauses, staring off into the space, remembering. Her eyes well up with tears. “I miss him.” Her voice cracks as she says it. Caduceus puts an arm around her and she snuggles closer to him.

Beau is wiping her fists over her face. She sniffs. “We should have a tickle fight in honor of him. He would’ve liked that.”

Caduceus looks over at Fjord. “How are you holding up, Fjord?”

Fjord takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh, wiping away more tears. “I miss him too, Jester.” Jester gives him a watery smile. Fjord coughs and takes another deep breath. “I…I’ve been tickled before. When I was a kid. I was picked on, and I was quite often the victim of tickle, well…torture from the other kids. They were stronger than me so they could pin me down and I couldn't get away. I couldn’t get them to stop so I just had to take it. I hated it. It made me feel powerless and weak. But I could never quite manage to stop being ticklish. I hated that, I hated being so ticklish.” He looks around at the others with a tinge of hesitation. They're watching him - eyes soft and still glistening with tears.

Fjord sucks in another breath and goes on. “But with Molly….I don’t know. It always felt different when Molly would try to tickle me. It felt…warm, like Yasha said.” He trails off, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, and then sighs. “I regret fighting him off so much. He meant well by it.”

“It was his way of showing love,” Yasha says softly. She wipes away more tears and a shaky smile spreads across her face as she looks at Fjord and then around at the group. “He loved you. He loved all of us. So much.”

Caleb, Beau, Jester and Fjord all reach up to wipe away more tears that threaten to spill over. Caduceus finds his own eyes damp too.

Fjord nods and heaves a sigh. He turns towards Jester. “And I…I’m sorry for fighting you off, too, Jester. It’s always felt warm from you too.”

Jester gives him a smile. “Aww, I’m glad it does! I don’t ever, ever, ever want it to be mean, Fjord, I like tickling and I think it’s fun and I want it to be fun for whoever I’m tickling too. I just want to make them laugh.” She glances over at Caleb, who gives her a smile.

Fjord gives her a faint smile of his own. With another sigh, he turns to look around the group. They’re all still sniffling and wiping away tears that slowly slip out. But they’re also all smiling.

“I can see how much of a loving thing it is for all of you. It’s not mean. And I…I’d love to be part of that. But I’m not sure I can handle it. I’m not sure I can let go of that control.”

Caleb is nodding. Yasha and Beau look like they know the feeling he's talking about too. For a moment, as Fjord looks around at all of their faces, he senses for the first time that…he might not be alone in this. He'd never considered that this might not come naturally to the rest of his friends either.

Jester sits up, pushing away from Caduceus. She leans towards Fjord. “What if we tickled you for just, like, a few seconds? Just to see if you like it? Just to try it out?”

Caduceus looks up brightly. “A trial tickle!”

Fjord studies them for a moment. He looks down at his cup. Then he nods and looks up at Jester. “Yes. Let’s do it.” He throws his arms open. “You can have five seconds.”

Jester blinks in surprise. She had not expected that to work. She looks around the little circle. Her friends all wave her forward, grins spreading across their faces. So, a grin working its way onto her own face, she turns back to Fjord and shuffles over until she’s kneeling right in front of him.

Fjord blinks up at her with his best puppy-eyed face. A nervous grin is already threatening to break through.

Jester giggles, still tinged with emotion and a little sadness, and wipes away the last of her tears with the back of her hand. “Fj-ord! This is going to be so much fun.”

Fjord scoots backwards, closer to the bed. “Five seconds, remember? Just five seconds.”

“Of course.” Jester shuffles forward, closing the gap between them. She flashes him another grin - and it reminds him of Molly, she’s really perfected that terrifying look tieflings can have - and slowly lowers her wiggling fingers towards his stomach. Fjord bites down on his lip.

The second Jester's fingers make contact, Fjord feels every muscle in his body contract and tense. He tries to pull away but there's nowhere to go - he's already pressed himself against the bed frame as far as he can go. So instead he squirms to the side and tries to brace himself.

Jester’s fingers scribble over Fjord’s stomach and Fjord clamps his mouth shut to block out the noises threatening to spill out. He flinches away again as her claws pinch at his sides. Yep. This is every bit the torture he expected. The loss of control over his own reactions brings with it a dark cloud of memories, none of them good. He’s vulnerable, weak…small. It’s almost unbearable, and he’s about to open his mouth and yell for Jester to stop…when her fingers shift every so slightly. Up. To begin scratching at his lower ribs.

And all the emotions burst out of Fjord in a sudden bark of laughter he could never hope to hold back. “HA!”

Jester giggles. Fjord tries to bite down on his tongue again but doesn't quite manage it. Now that the dam is broken, laughter bubbles up out of his throat. “Ah-hehehehehehehahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOHOHOHOHO!” And just like that, he’s rolling side to side with laughter, trying to bat away Jester's fingers that are scribbling and scratching over his ribs.

And to his surprise, he finds himself not hating it.

Actually…

It is kind of fun.

It’s just laughter after all, Fjord realizes. It’s an excuse to be silly and laugh. And it feels every bit as warm as he just described. It feels loving. It feels playful. It feels like every other time Jester tries to drag him into her silliness and make him laugh.

And just like all the other times Jester pulls them into her silly antics, he’s having fun.

Just as quickly as it began, it's over. Jester rocks back onto her heels, grinning down at him - Fjord realizes belatedly that he's somehow wound up on his back on the floor.

His second realization is that he's disappointed that she stopped.

“Sooooo, what did you think?!” Jester asks eagerly, leaning in towards him and still wearing that grin. But Fjord can see something else in her eyes - a glimmer of nervousness. Hesitation. Concern. Worry that maybe, despite her best efforts, he might still have hated it.

Fjord is panting for breath. He returns her grin almost shyly before looking away and muttering, “You don’t have to stop.”

Jester squeals and jumps on top of him, throwing her arms around him in a hug. “AHH Fjord! I’m sooooo glad you liked it!” Fjord jumps before realizing what she’s doing and puts his arms around her in return. Then he feels Jester’s fingers wiggling up his back and he snorts - before they work their way into his armpits and he's laughing again. He buries his face in her shoulder as the giggles take him again. “AHAHAHAHAH no that wasn’t fa-hehehehehahaha-air!” Jester giggles right along with him.

The rest of the group is chuckling too, watching this. Caleb turns to Beauregard. “A tickle fight in Molly’s memory, ja?”

Beau gives him a nervous grin and scoots back slightly. A rare playful grin leaps onto Caleb’s face and he grabs her arm before she can get away. The look of shock that flashes onto both their faces when that actually works makes them both burst out laughing. And then Caleb’s other hand is spidering up Beau’s arm and she’s giggling and flailing around for an entirely different reason. Caleb turns and calls over his shoulder, “Yasha! Come help me!” Yasha, grinning, grabs onto to Beau and holds her in place - allowing Caleb to bring the other hand into action on her sides and leaving Beau cackling with laughter.

Caduceus is grinning from ear to ear as he watches this tickly battle take place. There’s Jester attacking Fjord and making him laugh harder than Caduceus has ever seen. It’s a good look on him. Fjord is starting to try and return the favor, Caduceus can see. Unsuccessfully so far - Jester is one step ahead of him and making him slam his arms back down against his sides by going for his armpits every time - but Caduceus is confident he’ll power through and have a counter attack coordinated soon enough.

A few feet away from that, Caleb and Yasha are wrecking Beau - who has already managed to slip one arm out and latch it onto to Caleb’s ribs, leaving him bent over with laughter even as he continues scribbling his own fingers across her stomach. It’s hard to say which of the three are laughing the hardest - Yasha isn’t even being tickled, but she's laughing as if she is. Caduceus smiles.

A sudden warm breeze blows through the room, and Caduceus looks up, smiling, as he closes his eyes and leans into the Wild Mother’s embrace. He feels another swirling breeze and opens his eyes gently, sensing another presence - and jumps as he finds a mostly-translucent, lavender-colored, ghostly figure standing next to him.

Another warm breeze blows immediately. And Caduceus suddenly realizes he recognizes this figure - from stories, drawings, illusions. He’s seen those horns before, heard about those tattoos, seen that spade-tipped tail. A whisper comes through on the wind, a warm smile from the Wild Mother accompanying it - Mollymauk.

The figure gives Caduceus a smile. Then, before he can react, it’s diving forward into the tickly fray. Caduceus watches as the spectral purple tiefling darts over to Fjord and Jester and squeezes Fjord’s side a few times, before immediately spidering ghostly fingers up Jester's back. To Caduceus’ surprise, they both jump and squeal at the sudden touch. He blinks. They shouldn’t be able to feel that. But…somehow they can?

The specter dashes across the room and grabs Beau’s foot, scribbling claws across the bottom and leaving Beau shrieking with laughter in a whole new way - while its tail wiggles underneath Caleb’s arms, making him choke on a squeal and dissolve quickly into giggles. Wearing a bright grin, the ghostly Molly lets the two of them go and throws itself into Yasha’s lap, claws wiggling against her stomach. Yasha yelps and bends double, giggles spilling out.

The specter turns to look at Caduceus - grinning brightly from its place in Yasha’s lap, fingers now working their way up across her ribs. It sees him watching and pulls one hand away to gesture towards him - a beckoning motion.

Caduceus doesn’t hesitate. With a soft smile, he stands up and goes to help Fjord coordinate his still-unsuccessful counter attack on Jester. Taking a note from the specter, he spiders his fingers up her back. It works for a moment - she squeals and bursts out laughing - “Caduhahahahahaceus! Hahahahaha nohohoho!”

But Fjord is no help in this attack, and Caduceus quickly finds himself pinned underneath Jester as she spins around and lost to laughter before her fingers even find his sides. He doesn’t protest.

Jester has mercy on him after a moment, letting up and turning back to Fjord, who has been laying on his back panting for breath. But instead of attacking him again, she says, “Fjord! C’mere! Look, Caduceus is, like, really ticklish on his ears.” And suddenly her fingers are scratching the back of his ear and Caduceus is giggling again and trying his best to squirm away. Moments later he feels a second set of hands on his other ear - Fjord, the traitor. He yelps and gives up trying to get away in favor of bursting into laughter. Fjord and Jester both start laughing along with him, which somehow only makes him laugh harder. It feels good.

CRASH!

All tickling ceases as everyone jumps and looks, startled, in the direction of the door. Bursting through the doorway is Nott, crossbow loaded and ready to fire. She swivels side to side, aiming the crossbow wildly while she looks for a threat. Yeza peeks out nervously from behind her. Nott looks around and slowly lowers the crossbow at the sight of all her friends staring at her. “What’s going on?! We heard screaming and thought you were under attack!”

Beau, currently on the floor being held in place by Yasha while Caleb looms over her, fingers stilled in place on her stomach, shouts, “We are!”

This snaps the others out of it. Chuckles start spreading around the room again. Nott looks confused.

Jester beams over at Nott and Yeza, fingers still on Caduceus’ ears, who is taking the blessed opportunity to catch his breath. “We’re having a tickle fight! Come on, come join!”

Nott stares at them all for a moment. She looks unimpressed and gives a shake of her head. “I'm not ticklish.”

A set of fingers from behind her suddenly squeeze just below her arms and Nott yelps. The others, watching, giggle. Nott spins around and comes face to face with a grinning Yeza.

“What was that about not being ticklish?” Yeza asks. Nott’s face flushes and she looks away. Yeza reaches out to grab her - and misses, as she's gone in a flash. She peeks out from behind Fjord, doing her best to stifle the grin that's working it's way onto her face. Yeza laughs and leaps forward, fingers wiggling. Nott yelps again and ducks behind Fjord.

Fjord is laughing. So is Caleb, as he ditches Beau to jump forward and try to catch Nott. Nott dodges him easily but looks like she's trying not to laugh - and seconds later gives in, joining Caleb and everyone else in laughter.

Just like that, the battle is back on. It’s Beau who manages to grab Nott first and holds her still as Yeza demonstrates her most ticklish spots for the rest of the group to exploit. Nott is howling with laughter, but eventually manages to coordinate herself enough to get out, “He's ticklish too! Get the back of his knees!” It's unclear whether she's talking about Yeza or Caleb so the others split their attention between both - and find that knees are a bad spot for both, leaving them both rolling with laughter.

This back-and-forth, all-out, giggly battle goes on for another minute. Caduceus, every time he opens his eyes, seeing the lavender specter laughing right along with them as it dodges in and out of the fray. It makes him smile.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

The group freezes again. This time they all look alarmed as they look up towards the door.

A voice comes through. “Can you quiet down please?! It's almost midnight - we’re getting complaints!”

There's a pause. Then Fjord - suddenly composed and voice smooth, if slightly out of breath - calls out, “Yes, yes of course! Our apologies! We’ll quiet down.”

The group waits with bated breath. There’s a huff on the other side of the door and then footsteps walking away.

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. The group glances around at one other, make eye contact…

And collapse with laughter.

Fjord falls over onto Jester's shoulder, who’s rapidly making her way towards the floor and landing on top of Caduceus. Caleb is losing it, leaning fully onto Beauregard, who’s collapsed onto Jester. Nott and Yeza are leaning against each other and Yasha. All laughing too hard to speak.

“Oh my gods, we’re the worst!” Beau practically yells. This is followed by a chorus of shushing, which only makes them all laugh even harder.

Eventually the laughter trails off. Caleb wipes tears away from his face and readjusts himself to rest his head against Beau’s stomach. He holds out a hand, beckoning the others over. Jester, seeing what he’s doing, leaps over to cuddle up next to him and Beau. Nott pulls Yeza over and takes his other side, snuggling close. Caleb pulls them both in even closer. Yasha slides over and throws an arm over Jester and Caleb. Fjord lays down next to Beauregard, who looks over at him before grabbing his shoulder and pulling him in closer. Fjord reaches out to grab Caduceus and pulls him along.

Caduceus, as he snuggles in close to Fjord, Beau, and the others, watches as the purple specter worms its way into the cuddle pile too. It - he, Molly - drapes across the top of all of them. Arms threading their way in between to wrap around Yasha and Jester, legs worming their way underneath Fjord and Beau, tail wrapping around Caleb and Nott. He seems to almost melt into the group, in the way only a truly boneless ghost-like specter can. And the others unconsciously respond to him - wrapping their arms around limbs and a tail that aren't really there…and yet, perhaps, are there after all.

No one else seems to see this figure. But that's okay, Caduceus decides. They can all feel him. And isn’t that what really matters, in the end?

Caduceus catches Fjord’s eye and gives him a smile. Fjord returns it. He looks happier than Caduceus thinks he’s ever seen him.

Another, softer breeze blows through the room. Caduceus and Fjord both close their eyes as they feel its embrace. And there, surrounded by the warmth, still lingering smiles, and slowly steadying breathing of their friends, they drift gently to sleep.