#but also it's just incredibly lovely to witness

[beloveds-embrace]

Part two of the Lavender Marriage au! Considered adding smut to this but I chickened out lmao if the ending is abrupt it’s because of that 🙂‍↕️

The four men are fuming.

Since witnessing the lip-lock battle, they’ve been stewing in barely-contained anger. Every time they see you- on your porch in one of those sweet sundresses, humming to yourself as you water the flower boxes or hand them freshly-baked cookies- they’re consumed by a burning desire to tell you the “truth” about your cheating husband. But the ring on your finger, and your seemingly cheerful demeanor, stop them every time.

Still, they’re restless. It’s wrong to let you live in ignorance like this. But also, it’s not their business even if they want it- even if they want you. The thought of ruining your cozy life, despite your husband’s unfaithfulness, isn’t an easy one to swallow.

It becomes easier to think of admitting it all to you with each passing day, though.

“He’s walking around like he’s done nothing wrong! The bastard. How does she not see it?” Kyle grumbles, gesturing wildly with his tea mug. He grits his teeth, watching your husband saunter inside the house without offering to help you. He just puts down a plate of steak Kyle knows is too fucking cooked. Heathen. Bastard. Ughhh.

“She’s either blind or loyal to a fault,” Johnny agrees, sprawled out on the couch, looking far more despondent than usual. “Breaks ma bloody heart, lads. She’s makin’ us lemonade an’ cookies, an’ he’s aff canoodlin’ wiith some bloke under her roof.”

Simon grunts, his eyes narrowing as he joins Kyle’s side. “What kind of man cheats on her? She’s…” He trails off, unwilling to finish the sentence, but everyone knows what he means: She’s perfect.

Meanwhile, John leans back in his chair, puffing thoughtfully on a cigar. He’s been unusually quiet, though it’s clear he’s just as agitated, fist clenching on his lap. Finally, he speaks, his tone commanding.

“We wait until he leaves,” he says, much to the others’ dismay. “We don’t meddle now. If she finds out on her own, we’ll be there for her. Until then, we keep our mouths shut.”

The others grumble, but they nod in agreement. For now.

You, meanwhile, are oblivious to the internal warfare raging next door. Your days are filled with your usual routine of pretending to be the dutiful wife, gossiping with the neighborhood ladies, sweetly cooing about your hardworking husband, and pretending you don’t know they will gosspi about you after you leave. On the way, you also deliver a basket of homemade muffins to your handsome neighbors.

Such good men; they didn’t even yet know they were your little kitchen rats to taste-test everything you make for the annual baking contest. This year, that bitch Beatrice will not win and you swore it.

“Oh, these look incredible,” Johnny says when you hand over the basket. He flashes you a cheeky grin, and you can’t help but smile back, cheeks warm. “Y’know, if yer husband does not appreciate all this, I might just have ta steal ye away, lass.”

You laugh, waving off the comment as a joke, but the other three men go rigid. “Not the time, mate.” Kyle mutters, elbowing Johnny, though you really don’t notice. Their house is coming along so nicely and so fast; the perks of having handy men as its owners, you suppose.

Later that day, while you’re trimming the hedges of your precious little garden , you spot Simon working on their roof. You catch him staring at you- not that you blame him, you are wearing your one of cutest skirt and top- and you give him a small wave. He almost falls off the roof even if he does wave back, so you decide to just focus on the damned hedges and hopefully avoid any more incidents.

They’re so distracted by your lovely self that they almost forget their rage toward your husband. Almost. Because just as Price and Johnny are helping you carry bags of groceries back to your house, your husband- traitorous bastard- walks out of the house all patient and whistling.

“Be back soon, honey! You know how long my business trips take.” your husband calls over his shoulder, giving you a quick wink before he hops into a car and drives off.

Unbelievable.

The tension is palpable. John glares. Johnny looks like he’s seconds from sprinting after the car. Simon mutters, “Unbelievable,” under his breath from where he and Kyle are watching from the window.

“Oh dear,” you sigh, though on the inside you are very happy. You know your husband’s boyfriend has a nice surprise picked for him- you helped get it, after all- and now you have the house all to yourself again. Perfect.

You turn to John, batting your lashes up at him and it is as if all his anger melts away. “Be my guests this evening, John? I’d be terribly lonely, all by myself in this big house.”

John really, truly, fucking hates your husband for doing this to a precious, lovely thing like you. But at least it means they’ll be the ones in your company.

“Alright, doll,” he nods, fond as he watches the grin stretch across your face. “Let me just go tell the muppets, then we’ll come by and help.”

“There’s no need-“

“I insist, sweetheart.”

That evening, as promised, the four of them come by to “keep you company” and help. You’re in your element, flitting around the kitchen in an apron as you serve drinks and chatter away, oblivious to the tension radiating from the group. You are practically glowing; your pretty flowers were complimented and the food looks so good you can’t wait to post it on your instagram.

Simon leans against the counter, arms crossed, staring daggers into the walls- into the portraits of you and your husband. Kyle is poking at one of the cookies you made like it’s done something to offend him, his mind adrift. Johnny’s chopping away at vegetables, muttering under his breath and wishing it was something else under his knife. And John? He’s nursing his whiskey like it’s the only thing keeping him sane. It might as well be. You talk so nicely about your husband and what he’s customized for you in the kitchen, still so unaware of the truth.

John contemplates just telling you right then and there, but then it happens.

The front door swings open, and in strolls your husband, laughing loudly with none other than his boyfriend- the one the group saw kissing. They’re holding hands, both grinning like idiots.

“Sorry we’re back so soon!” your husband calls out, completely unbothered by the fact that your house is now hosting four very large, very angry military men. “I forgot my wallet-”

The rest of his sentence dies in his throat when he notices the four men staring at him, expressions ranging from pure disbelief to murderous rage. His boyfriend freezes too, glancing nervously between you and the men like he’s walked into a firing squad.

“What the bloody hell is this?” Johnny practically shouts, pointing between the two men with the knife. “You’ve got the audacity to bring him here? Here?”

Kyle crushes the cookie when he slams his fist on the table, standing abruptly. “Under her roof? After all she’s done for you? Again?”

Simon doesn’t say a word because he truly doesn’t need to- he’s just staring, fists clenched, practically vibrating with barely-contained fury.

John finally speaks, his voice low and dangerous, pulling your surprised self against his side protectively. “You’ve got some confessing to do.”

Your husband just… blinks, then glances at you. “Wait, you didn’t tell them?”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t think it would come up like this.”

“Tell us what?” John demands, his tone sharp. He is still glaring at your husband and the boyfriend

You wave your hand dismissively, like this is the most normal thing in the world with a soft sigh. “Oh, we’re not really married for love, John. It’s just for the benefits- y’know, keeping his parents off his back and mine off mine.”

The room falls silent. Dead silent.

“What?” Simon finally growls, his voice low and dangerous. All this time…

Your husband grins sheepishly, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Yeah, I’m gay. This is my boyfriend. He’s great, isn’t he?” He says, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek.

Johnny looks like he’s just been hit with the frying pan the vegetables he’d been chopping was meant to go in. “Yer what?”

Kyle stares at you, wide-eyed. “You knew? This whole time?”

You shrug, popping a cookie into your mouth. Ohh, Beatrice should count her fucking days. “Of course I knew. We planned the whole thing together. It’s not that complicated, really.”

Simon mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like a curse.

“Anyways, we do have places to be,” your husband sighs. “I’ll just get my wallet and leave you all be to your date.” When he returns with his wallet a few minutes later, he kisses your forehead. “Bye, love. I snuck some of the cookies too- Beatrice is absolutely not winning this year, trust me.” And then he leaves at last.

John exhales sharply, rubbing a hand over his face. “Let me get this straight,” he says slowly. “You’re married but it’s just… out of necessity, and you’ve just been… pretending to love him?”

“Exactly!” you say brightly, clapping your hands together. “See? Not so hard to understand.”

The four men just stand there, utterly gobsmacked.

“You mean to tell me,” Johnny starts, pointing an accusatory finger at you after placing the knife down. “that we’ve been stewin’ for weeks over a cheatin’ husband that doesn’t even exist?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” you reply with a giggle, pouring a drink. Your eyes widen then. “But you cannot tell anyone here, in this shitty town, about this!”

“We won’t, love, promise.” Kyle groans, slumping back into his chair. “I need a bloody drink.” And then he perks up when you slide him the drink you just made. “…fucking lifesaver you are, love. Thank you.”

Simon just shakes his head, muttering, “Unbelievable.” under his breath.

John sighs, downing the rest of his whiskey in one go. “You’re going to be the death of us, doll.”

You grin, completely unfazed. “Oh, come on, boys. It’s not that bad.”

The four of them exchange a look- one of disbelief, exasperation, and maybe just a hint of relief. Because as much as they’re reeling from the truth, one thing’s clear: you’re technically single. And that, at least, is something they can work with.

[bunnysnuff]

Elphaba with a S/O who looks really cutesy and is normally very sweet and soft spoken, but is very protective of Elphaba and angrily stands up for her when they see someone treating her bad:

Elphaba Thropp x gn!reader.

Trigger warnings: mentions of vulnerabilities and marginalising.

Request.

Note: can we appreciate Cynthia voice 🥰 I can hear her singing through this gif!

A Deep Connection: Elphaba is intelligent and introspective, so she'd appreciate deep, meaningful conversations with her girlfriend. Whether it's discussing political philosophy or just venting about the trials of her day, she'd open up to you in a way she doesn’t with others.

Protective Nature: Elphaba has spent much of her life feeling like an outsider, so when she finally finds someone who truly cares for her, she's incredibly protective. She’d always make sure you're safe, even if it means standing up to anyone who might threaten you or your relationship.

Shared Quiet Moments: While Elphaba can be fiery and passionate, she also enjoys moments of calm and solitude. You’d find her curled up with a book or lost in her own thoughts, and you’d often spend time in silence just being with each other. She might even show a rare, soft side when she's in your presence.

Acts of Service Over Words: While Elphaba isn't always expressive with her words, she shows love through actions. She might fix something for you, help you when you're in trouble, or take care of you when you're feeling down. She expresses herself best when she’s doing something for you.

A Complex Sense of Humor: Elphaba might not be the most openly cheerful person, but she has a wry, sharp sense of humor. She might not laugh a lot, but when she does, it’s genuine and likely over some dry, sarcastic comment. You’d quickly learn to appreciate her brand of wit.

Defying Expectations Together: As a couple, you’d likely find yourselves pushing against societal norms together. Whether it’s fighting for justice, advocating for the marginalized, or just rejecting the expectations others have placed on you, Elphaba would love someone who stands beside her in the fight for what’s right.

The Vulnerability You Shared: Despite her tough exterior, Elphaba has a lot of internal struggle with her identity and sense of belonging. Being with you would offer her a sense of acceptance, and she'd slowly learn to open up about her past, her fears, and her insecurities. She might be hesitant at first, but your love would help her heal.

Unlikely Romantic Gestures: Elphaba isn’t one for grand romantic gestures, but she would show her love in unique ways. Maybe she makes you a homemade potion to heal a wound or takes you to a quiet spot where you can both stargaze in peace, away from prying eyes. She values intimacy and personal connections over outward displays.

A Fierce Advocate for Your Dreams: Elphaba believes in standing up for what’s right, and she would absolutely stand behind your goals and dreams, no matter how big or small. If you want to fight for something important, she’d be right by your side, helping you to make your dreams a reality.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i have no idea how somebody somewhere bottles the absolutely magical feeling of having the most fun, silly conversations with your friends -- like, the extent to which this show captures exactly what that feels like and how ebulliently wonderful it is ... it shouldn't be possible to capture that so accurately in a tv screen!!! but it does it!!!

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship

and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.

[liveinfarbe]

I’m mostly on the sidelines, looking at fandom discourse brain worms, stunned. The most incredible of ideas is that it would be anti-feminist to not ship Galadriel with Sauron. I mean, HUH? Do words even mean anything anymore?

I’m chiming in to mention a character that’s been at the core of everything these past two seasons and who gets strangely overlooked in these discussions for reasons that evade me. “Nobody is evil in the beginning”—well, yes, it’s true, Sauron wasn’t but he became evil and liked it. Adar wasn’t evil in the beginning either. He got corrupted, but he hated it and redeemed himself. Adar is the one villain redeeming himself from evil in this show, not Sauron. That’s an admirable arc! He’s a hero and has been one from the beginning, albeit struggling. His path is Galadriel’s, only coming from the opposite direction. Adar is the most fascinating original character McPayne came up with - he still gets punished by them for ever straying towards evil … but that’s a different gripe I have.

Of course Galadriel can’t forgive Finrod’s and Celebrimbor’s murder, and that’s why she doesn’t give in to Sauron, can’t be full of love for him. Yet, a much more directly impactful proof of psychopathic cruelty happens in front of her eyes just before she faces him off and rejects him in that fight. An event that necessarily overshadows their interaction: she sees him betray and slaughter Adar, a man she clearly admires and likes. More than that, she felt kinship with him, which was eventually sealed by Nenya. The moment she witnesses that, Sauron’s off the menu. Adar was a foe to evil, a villain in Galadriel’s world view, who came back to the light, who freed himself from Sauron’s influence, and did something Sauron could never do: not wallow in fucking self-pity. Adar accepted his own failure and his shame, and wanted to do something about it. He didn’t lie. A partner ten times more worthy than Sauron. And because she’s not a few hundred years old anymore, Galadriel gets that. She also saw the wonder that her ring Nenya did to him and realizes Sauron is the one bereaving the world and herself of the light and goodhearted and a future.

Call me crazy, call me anti-feminist, call me regressive, call me stupid for not understanding canon or text.

BUT

I don't believe it's that big of a stretch to think that maybe, just maybe, Galadriel is not truly madly deeply in love with the guy who used her friend as a dart target board 🤷‍♀️

[captainshakespear]

"Nicky vs Primo unarmed cage match" "Nicky vs Primo armed combat" "Nicky vs Primo track and hunt in the forest" there's no version Nicky doesn't win. it doesn't matter how much cocaine Primo has done beforehand. because Nicky could do exactly that much cocaine beforehand and still turn Primo into a paste if necessary.

[nachosncheezies]

People like Bill Jr. got all kinds of things wrong about Scully but probably none moreso than thinking it was tragic that Mulder was dragging her along on some descent into madness, when actually the real tragedy was how few of the people she loved ever realized it wasn't a descent.

(It couldn't be bc 1. it's not madness and 2. she was already there.)

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 19, 2021 12:15 a.m. star noraebang

song in queue: man & woman - kim bum soo w/ park sun joo ✨

[theladyfae]

i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶

[theoptimisticdaydreamer]

Can we have a season of bake off where all the bakers are over the age of 50? Even better if they are in their 70s.

Older generation bake off.

I assure you that I will still faithfully watch every week because there is something so classic about the people who learned how to bake the old fashioned way: Watching their relatives who have baked for decades. With measurements like a pinch and a hint and a smidgeon. Recipes being passed down on the backs of notecards with the ink all smudged away or only through word of mouth alone. Who grew up having to stretch every ingredient. Who didn't have the internet or a lot of recipes/ingredients readily available for a significant portion of their life.

Give me older charming bakers. Give me an entire tent full of Nickys and Keiths and Dawns and Maggies. Bonus points if they have a really salt-of-the-earth life. Bonus bonus points if they have supreme British wit (a la Dame Maggie Smith) that will leave the judges speechless (and subtly insulted). Give me an entire tent full of people who do not give a damn about what Paul and Prue care most about--- presentation and ~finesse~. People whose only goal is to feed the people they care about with the food they create.

Give me a season of ~rustic~ bakers.

[dootznbootz]

🌟

HELL YEAH, HOMIE!!! >:D WORM FAMILY!!!

[wings-of-angels]

I might be aro but by GOD masculine poets with long and messy hair keep being the exception

[ghostboyjules]

y'all remember that post I reblogged abt being a loser fail butch... and in the tags I talked abt bein a himbo.. literally just proved that point to myself inadvertently. 😐

to set the scene,, I look absolutely ridiculous rn because I cut the sleeves off of a ratty t-shirt (the sleeves were uncomfortable and it's May in FL. :/) so that's the sort of vibe™ we're working with this evening. (1am. just realized it's 1am.. huh.) but I wander into the kitchen to take a sip of ginger ale and I notice that my fan is making a weird noise, so like. brain completely shut off, I just take my fan apart and tighten a few things and put it back together, but now I have dust under my eye AND LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS I do one of those lil puff of air things (the kind when you wanna move a piece of hair outta your face) DIRECTLY INTO MY EYE. dust goes RIGHT into my eye. 😐 oh and apparently my thumb was also bleeding so I had that goin on as well without realizing it

[125storejuice]

.

[itspileofgoodthings]

Matthew Saracen is one of the most real boy characters ever created.