#but also idk if transmasc is the right word

[yourplaceinaugust]

kinda funny how i used to use the term lesbian to describe myself and then i realized im not really a girl and im also attracted to men and now im a transmasc who has only ever liked men

[zephyr-paladyn]

dan heng transgender moments compilation

in which dan heng says shit that makes me go like ‼️ TRANSGENDER MOMENT ‼️

character stories

It is his first time seeing his own body clearly. This body belongs to him. It belongs to this current name.

1.2 story quest

I told you and that woman many times... I am Dan Heng.

I am Dan Heng. Whether Dan Feng was hero or villain has nothing to do with me. I bore his punishment, accepted my eternal banishment without complaint... but do not let his shadow cloud your estimation of me, general.

dan heng imbibitor lunae trailer

I stand here... to fight for a new life!

dan heng IL introduction

...After all, I am Dan Heng, one of the Nameless aboard the Astral Express.

to be added onto in the future i think

[teja-has-puppet-autism]

y'know sometimes I go to make a post on this here webbed site, and I almost always end up deletin it cause I measure it through the "how widely applicable is this" + "how horribly can people twist this" metrics and it just stops my little fingies from typin

(this turned into me typing an essay in the tags cause I very much did need to process some shit lmao)

[schizowitchic]

also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions

[vampire-nyx]

I always feel like strangely embarrassed when I earnestly like and use and identify with a term other people really seriously hate, like oh no. Am I doing self identification wrong

[yuusakuhanazawashole]

[skrunksthatwunk]

man why are there so many lesbian posts like omg i love butches/look how cool i am as a butch!!! MEN DNI. like. I've been banned from my own dykery wtf

[lesvegas]

anybody else feel weird guilt over being a transmasc dyke instead of 'just a butch' because butches are 'a dying breed'. like somehow being too masculine or becoming a male dyke makes you some kind of lesbian traitor and you're contributing to the endangerment of butches or something

[decolonize-the-everything]

Idk personally I just think it's weird that 85% of the times transmisogyny is brought up it's about transmascs or policing the word transmisogyny itself and not about cis people with the actual systemic power to oppress trans women for being both trans and also women.

Gonna be so fucking real and say something a lot of people won't like but it's reminiscent of when TERFism was getting really popular and everyone was afraid to call it out cuz if you did then it was Very Easy to accuse you of being a woman hating misogynist.

Back then it was more about dividing queer people and feminists from one another than actively sending people harassment and death threats. Of course, TERFs got to that point eventually too. But before that? It was just relatable content complaining about men that proclaimed that men needed to put up with it because they were privileged men with power. And if they didn't put up with then they weren't allies anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It was a hard line they put up with deeply bio-essentialist rhetoric fueling it and people fell for it because they were a little bit right

Men are oppressors.

That was the gateway to the ideology. It was that simple.

And like with the word "feminism" it's extremely fucked up that it seems they've tried to co-opt the term "transmisogyny" as well, but I mean.... What were we really expecting from the same bigoted assholes that already blew up feminism once using transphobia?

Inb4 they start attacking me: I know what transmisogyny is and I know it's just a word meant to help name the compounding oppression of transness and being a woman and that it's not a hateful movement or ideology.

To that I say: So was feminism until TERFs got here. Then we very quickly needed a way to separate them from the rest of us so we weren't getting spoken over or hurting the concept of feminism by letting TERFs become it's mouthpiece. We landed with "TERF" and "radical feminist" for their labels and to this day insist it's not actually feminism or equality they're fighting for and that REAL feminists are trans inclusive and fight for equality instead of just harassing people or complaining about men online.

TERFs absolutely know how to set back feminism, they've done it before, and so I think it's worth considering that they might be doing it again with only very minor tweaks to their methods.

Do trans men (that politicians refuse to systemically recognize the gender of) actually have systemic power that they are abusing as men to hurt trans women? Or does that maybe sound like a stretch? How many trans men are even in positions of power? What systemic laws or policies of beliefs are they upholding?

Do you actually experience oppression from trans men that needs to be systematically addressed snd corrected with the full support of feminism behind you? Is addressing the bigotry of trans men a higher priority than working to dismantle the patriarchy?

How does having your gender respected as a trans man translate to trans men having systemic power and being oppressors, exactly? Isn't that just privilege? Does privilege mean power? Lots of queer people are white aren't they, would it be appropriate for me, a queer brown person to say that queer people are racist and deserve what they get until white supremacy is dismantled just because they One aspect of their identity is harming me?

Isn't the conversation between privilege and power too nuanced with so many of us having intersecting identities to say that any One kind of person is oppressing someone else?

I know it's validating to say trans men are men (and they are) but they are not cis men and many are not white either which is a Giant fundamental difference that I need TERF-lite to stop ignoring. The same way that saying cishet white men have privilege over trans women is fundamental to outlining the experience of trans women, is also true for trans men and trans men aren't "less oppressed" which is the implication being made and it's only being made because the assumption is whiteness!

Cis white women ABSOLUTELY have power over trans men of color! Mainstream feminism does not have the means or structure to acknowledge this, but it SHOULD if the goal is genuine equality for all genders.

I think we've grown a lot as a society and I think we've found so much solidarity with one another and learned so much that we should be able to say out loud in 2024 that having individual movements is helpful and served us greatly, but if both queer women and woc and disabled women feel alienated and abandoned by mainstream feminism then maybe it's time for something better that WOULD recognize those nuances and intersections of both oppression and privilege.

Something that wouldn't erase someone else's experience or oppression.

Feminism doesn't seem to be serving all women anymore, instead holding most women back in regards to gender expression, exploration, language, and how all that intersects with race and culture, privilege and oppression.

We've grown beyond this basic understanding of gender and gender oppression and I think those of us genuinely striving for equality would have less chance of being co-opted by single-issue concerns that divide community if we were instead stopped acting like equality was a single issue concern.

We should be a united front, united by this new and much more inclusive and intersectional movement that takes into account our developed understandings of oppression and solidarity and lateral violence and white supremacy and doesn't consider one oppression to be worse than another.

A movement that seeks to speak up for the most marginalized voices and provide equality for all would Not be so easily co-opted snd divided by bad faith actors trying to silence those same voices.

It's easy to target different women in different ways because mainstream feminism really only recognizes gender violence and not the many different ways that could manifest or connect: bathroom inaccessibility for disabled women and trans women for example is not considered gendered violence and thus isn't a feminist issue. It's a disability issue or a trans issue.

Why? when disabled and trans women face higher levels of inaccessibility and inequality than even their cis and abled counterparts why isn't this an issue for feminism, yk?

And why can't it just be a general bathroom accessibility issue we All fight for? Or do white trans women and black disabled enbies not use public bathrooms?

Our fights are connected, why arent we?

Like I said, feminism simply doesn't have the structure to continue being useful going forward, especially for marginalized people. We should be able to discuss things like intersecting identities with nuance and respect for one another, without leaving anyone behind in pursuit of our own liberation or prioritizing one axis of oppression over another.

Our liberation movement, like our identities, needs to be intersectional.

[nothorses]

I think there's a Thing where any transphobia known to be against a transfem gets called "transmisogyny", which is fine I guess, but idk I feel like transmisogyny is supposed to be the word for the Specific Type of oppression that trans women face, not "transphobia that in this case is against a trans women". Does that make sense? Like if somebody misgenders a trans woman and that's it, that isn't anything more specific than "transphobia", right? Like if somebody were to call me a faggot, I wouldn't consider That transandrophobia simply because I Am a trans man, I would just think of it as generally anti-queer. Does that make sense, or am I misunderstanding the terms transmisogyny, transandrophobia, etc?

No I think you're right, and tbh I think it's a manifestation (and a really good example) of the "identity = oppression" framework a lot of folks are operating under in these conversations.

It's not something anyone really says out loud, but I've noticed it as a pattern in certain circles; mostly a lot of primarily young, online queer circles.

It's the same framework that, imo, spawned "Transmisogyny Exempt/Transmisogyny Affected" (or "TME/TMA") in which one's identity is directly equivalent to the oppression they experience.

The logic goes: If you identify as X, you experience anti-X oppression. If your identity is not X, you do not, and cannot, experience anti-X oppression.

This is also where we get, like, "misdirected misogyny" as a concept: the logic is that trans men* do not identify as women, therefore they cannot experience oppression meant for women.

Or "slur discourse": if you do not identify as X, you do not experience anti-X oppression, you have never been called this anti-X slur, and therefore you cannot reclaim this anti-X slur.

A lot of other gatekeeping arguments follow similar logic, as do a lot of arguments against acknowledging "transandrophobia" (or anti-transmasc bigotry as a specific concept). Personal identity is understood to be directly equivalent to experiences with oppression, and trans men's identities are thus broken down into their two parts, and assigned corresponding experiences:

Trans experiences

Man experiences

Even understanding "trans man" to be a third identity, with additional, unique "trans man experiences", creates a lot of friction within this framework: a lot of the unique "trans man experiences" we talk about arise from interactions between transphobia and misogyny. But misogyny must be woman-only; our experiences with misogyny are considered incidental, or "misdirected".

If we consider identity to be directly equivalent to oppression, then what, exactly, could these unique "trans man experiences" be?

In this framework, they can only ever be the combination of "trans experiences" and "man experiences"; and "man experiences" cannot contain any unique "man oppression" (unless all men are oppressed just for being men), so "trans man experiences" can only ever be "trans experiences".

When people say "transmisogyny" to refer to any and all oppression that impacts trans women, it's because they understand identity and oppression to be one and the same. Trans women's experiences with oppression cannot be understood as complex & nuanced interactions between different systems of oppression- they are always considered transmisogyny, because the person experiencing them is a trans women, and the oppression of trans women is called "transmisogyny".

It's a reductive and honestly immature understanding of how identity and oppression interact with and relate to one another, but I find it really helpful to understand it when breaking down the flaws in arguments like these ones.

*Some trans men (as well as other transmasculine people) can and do identify as women, and this logic is often applied to transmasculine people as a whole, which erases those folks as well. I'm just not sure what the most accurate term to use here is, honestly.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

The shorter version: Hey could you talk about stone tops more? Or anything like that, people who like giving but not recieving?

The longer version: I’m sort of going through that process of self discovery, I’ve been meaning to ask about it somehow- basically I am sexually attracted to people (I think??), I get aroused, I enjoy masturbating, even talking with my partner about stuff we could do is arousing to me. I enjoy some submissive kinky stuff. Hell, my boyfriend (transmasc, both of us are) recently let me go down on him and it was like a fucking religious experience, I LOVED it, but I find it really difficult to enjoy anything being done directly to /my/ genitals. Like, I can feel the sensations, and they feel good, but I don’t build any arousal, like I can’t get in the mood? I know I’m not, but I do feel fucked up and broken. Spiritually, I want my boyfriend to rail me into next week, but physically I’m afraid there’s like. Something wrong with me, like,, I don’t work??? Idk. I’ve got major anxiety, I’ve got dysphoria, I guess I always figured it was one of those things. There’s only so many times I can feel Way Too Seen by fanfiction about Noted Asexual, Archivist Jonathan Sims before I start to wonder what exactly they’ve hit directly on the head, if that makes sense. I’m not asking you to Diagnose Me Asexual lmaoo but I was wondering about more like… asexual adjacent things? My boyfriend suggested I look into “service top” too. I… don’t feel like a top? I’m very submissive. But I’ve heard it’s not always top= dom, bottom=sub… how can I be a submissive top?

Sorry this is… so much. It’s really been weighing on me. Even if you don’t feel up to answering this I thank you profusely for the sex ed content you’ve been posting lately. Demystifying sex and promoting sexual health is so incredibly important, and even just what I’ve read from you makes a difference in the agency I feel over my sex life.

hi anon,

weeeeeee!!! this is a fun one.

so, first off, I'm just gonna throw this out there: liking the idea of something - for instance, your boyfriend railing you into next week - is not an innate sign that that's something you'd like in real life. I'll jack off to the idea of getting railed like Thomas the Tank Engine, sure, but in real life vaginal penetration has never felt like much of anything to me + I haaaaAAAAaaaate the idea of doing anything with even a teeny tiny slight chance of getting me pregnant. some stuff is fine to stay in the brain!

if you do ever decide to tentatively explore it with your bf, that's also fine and wonderful, but let's focus on what we know about your likes right now. you don't want to get fucked (awesome) but you like going down (also awesome). none of that means you are or aren't asexual, btw, there are loads of asexuals in the world who love to get railed and hate going down and also feel every possible way about every other possible array of sex acts. you're only asexual if you want to be, keep that in mind.

you're also only stone or a service top or whatever else if you want to be. words exist to be useful, not as an innate ontological truth to discover within yourself. personally I think it's waaaaay more important for people to refine their sense of likes, dislikes, communication, and boundary-setting than finding the exact right word for their particular cup of tea.

as long as we're talking about terminology, let's get into dom/sub and top/bottom. you're absolutely correct that they're not interchangeable, whatever the hooligans on various hellsites would have you believe. dom and sub are terms for power exchange play, when two people enact a power differential in which one partner is consensually given a great deal of control over the other, be it physically, psychologically, financially, or what have you. top/bottom simply refer to who is acting vs who is being acted upon during a sexual act; while some people identify intensely as either a top or a bottom, it's also a simple matter for those roles to switch on a dime depending on what kind of sex you're into. it's completely possible to have sex without designating anyone the top or bottom, and I'd argue that most people have sex without there actually being a dom or sub involved.

so can dom bottom, or a sub top? of course; people can mix and match whatever pieces of sexuality they want in their own explorations. a dom can boss their sub around like a little servant, giving them extremely detailed instructions about exactly how to rail them, and perhaps punish them (in the fun consensual way, obviously) if they fail to meet those expectations and don't get their dom off the way that was wanted. you can, and I cannot possibly emphasize this enough, do whatever you want forever.

a service top, incidentally, is generally considered a separate thing from a dom (which is not to say they can't overlap!) in that a service top isn't always dominating, but is topping because they enjoy getting their partner off in whatever way they like. the overlap of service tops and folks who are stone is notable!

in your particular case I would recommend not worrying so much about which of these terms, if any, are the correct one for you and focus way ore on exploring and playing with your partner to find a rhythm that works well for the two of you. doms, subs, tops, and bottoms all have something useful to teach people about how they like intimacy, but there's no rush to figure out which category, if any, you fit in. just focus on what's fun and feels good to you and toss the rest.

[lowkeyrobin]

could you write a walker x transmasc!reader oneshot? if not, that is fine aswell! - 🗡️

of course I could!! just beware any random shit because I don't know much about being transmasc and I did a lot of research on reddit and tiktok for this for like mannerisms ans shit ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy! ; for any regulars on my blog, ik I've enforced the gn reader only thing but I updated my rules list, where I'll only do trans masc/fem readers on request. that doesn't mean request a thing and add one of those solely for a set of he/him or she/her pronouns though. ; post writing robin and this was actually so fun to write LMAO I hope you like this even tho it's so short

WALKER SCOBELL ; the boys

summary ; youre transmasc and properly come out to walker and co + some stupid shit for two parts

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; idk shit about awards shows + imagine middle school auditorium seats for the first part

word count ; 723

masterlist

You, Aryan, Walker, and Leah sit in the audience at the 2025 Emmy Awards, chatting before the cameras turned on to watch the proper show begin. You and Walker sit together, with Aryan and Leah right behind you. The thick, tan, plastic chairs were going to do a number on your ass later. For a million-dollar award show you'd think they would upgrade the seat situation a little bit.

Leah and Aryan sit forward in their seats, holding a conversation with you and Walker, both turned around in yours.

"No, and like, you will not be calling me that, thank you!" You laugh and smile, "If you get your grimy hands on my legal name I will actually throw myself away. I am a man!"

"Wait, what?" Walker questions, eyebrows furrowed. "Legal name?"

"I changed my name" You clarify. "Cause like..." You look yourself up and down, hands following your gaze. "Y'know?"

Walker blinks, pushing his blonde curls away from his face. "Wait... you're trans?"

You nod, a playful yet unbelievable smile on your face. "How did you not know?"

"Even I knew" Leah comments, glancing at Aryan, who nods in agreement.

"I thought it was kinda obvious." You chuckle, seeing his surprised reaction. "I had to keep correcting people about my name like, a million times"

"I never knew you had another name? I thought it was always Y/n!"

"This is going on my story"

"Which one?"

"The Boys"

Walker smiles, his right arm slung over your shoulders as he watches you caption and post the picture you'd just taken with him on your public Snapchat story. It was titled The Boys, meant for you and all your close friends.

He was glad to see that you considered him one of your close friends, but also on such a deep level, though it was just a title to you. He saw the deeper meaning that you didn't. Like an over analyzing reader to a writer. He was happy you also considered yourself a boy, that you could happily parade that around and feel comfortable with your identity. He truly couldn't be more proud to see you happy and smiling in this moment.

You look back up at him, a cheesy smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"What's that look for?" You ask, a little confused.

"Nothing" He replies, patting your right shoulder blade as he moves his arm around a bit. "We should definitely make a playlist and put it on your story for people to listen to" He suggests with a slight shrug.

"For what?" You ask again, a little puzzled as to where this was going."

"Just cause"

"Okay, Mr.-Won't-Explain-Shit-Scobell"

"You just went on a five minute tangent trying to avoid the word homophobia"

"I was testing the waters with your gaydar, cause apparently it was broken the first time"

"I don't have a gaydar! I'm just, like, here! I'm just a guy"

"Look at this handsome man! Dude, wear purple more, I'm so serious"

"Okay, I see you, Y/n!"

"Fix your tie!"

"I'm trying, I'm still learning! I didn't have this chapter of boyhood"

"Here-" The blonde mumbles, reaching forward to fix your black tie.

You tilt your chin up, giving him easy access to the cloth wrapped around your neck. Leah and Aryan watch, smug looks on their faces.

You send them a glare, trying not to alert Walker to it. He quickly reties your tie, sending you a thumbs up as he backs away. You quickly thank him, a warmth heating up your cheeks, physically unnoticeable.

"Walker, you look like a divorce lawyer." You comment, stuffing your hands in your purple pockets.

The blonde dramatically scoffs, a hand rested on his heart. "You're so mean to me! You're not welcome to the next boys sleepover"

"I don't wanna be a part of that dorky shit anyways"

"Okay, meanie"

"What are you, twelve?"

"...Did you just attempt to quote me?"

You shrug with a side nod.

Leah speaks for you, "Yeah, he did"

"How do you know?"

"He told us that he was gonna try and quote you at least once today" She chuckles.

The three look back at you, lining your jawline with your finger, clearly sucking up your tongue.

"Dude, stop mewing, we have to go out there in like, a minute"

[genderkoolaid]

i honestly really need advice/support if possible, and to know if this is an example of transandrophobia that i have a right to be upset about, idk who else to go to about it im honestly scared to tell anyone. i feel so fucking isolated from my local trans community, they literally only represent or center things around trans women, calling names for events fem type names (ex: she-*insert thing here*), doing multiple surveys to gather responses from trans women only, literally only having trans women represented in everything to do with their organization and website, despite talking about including all trans and gnc ppl etc. i almost lost it today because they had a pamphlet at one of their events on ‘domestic violence in the trans community’ but literally only include sexual assault/dv stats on trans women when trans men have the highest rates in a lot of statistics of those things in the trans community, and even higher than cis women?? i literally just wanted to cry, it feels like i never see trans men represented ANYWHERE even at places specifically for trans people and i just feel so hopeless. even when i go to their events and im the only trans man (pretty much always), it feels like they’re upset somehow that i’m not a woman :/. and the state i live in is considered one of the most ‘progressive’ for trans ppl in the us. i feel like if i tell anyone they’ll just take it as me wanting to take away resources from trans women, or that i actually hate them and it’s not like that at all. i love all trans people so much, but how is it supposed to feel like a community when only ONE type of trans person (typically *white* trans women) gets represented or given resources over everyone else. gnc/genderqueer ppl are out of the question lmao they are also a complete afterthought. just. im bad with words so this probably came out more like a vent but i need to know im like. not crazy for feeling extremely depressed and isolated over shit like this?? or feeling like this is an instance of transandrophobia? idk man just. ugh. genuinely, how can i find community if it’s just gonna be like this?

You are not crazy and you are totally correct in being upset about this. I wouldn't be surprised if the reason you are often the only transmasc is BECAUSE they put no effort into making spaces open to transmascs. This is erasure and absolutely a part of transandrophobia.

I would recommend trying to bring your complaints up to the people organizing these events– unless you have good reason to suspect otherwise I would try to assume they'll receive criticism in good faith– but you could also try to organize your own transmasc-centered events regardless of if they are open to helping you or not. There very well may be other transmascs near you who would be interested in such a community.

[kk43mi]

alr so if you’re okay with this kind of request i’d like to request a fic in which scara is afab!! i’ve seen many people headcanoning him as transmasc and it kinda grew on me :)) i think he’d be sub and enjoy oral but at the same time also less vanilla things like being tied up, restrained, blindfolded.. idk i’ll leave the rest to you :D

please feel free to ignore my request if it makes you uncomfortable! have a nice day or night<3

this idea is so good anon ! yes i also like to think he would like being restrained...hes always demanding you to eat him out and stuff omg i have so much thought into this. you also have a good day/night! excuse if this seems so messy, ive never written a trans fic... forgive me o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

jealousy┊scaramouche

PAIRING ┊trans!scara x softdomf!reader GENRE ┊ smut. WC ┊ 1.4k+ WARNINGS ┊ (in this case this is wanderer, but i will call him scara!) , praise , pussy eating(receiving and giving.) , needy scara , tied up , lowercase intended!!! SYNOPSIS ┊ partnering up with kazuha to work with your mission, scara gets jealous, thinking you were going to leave him for kazu...or maybe have more fun around kazuha. you and kazuha are good friends, always play fighting and joking with each other, scara cant stand the thought of you enjoying someone else, so he gets jealous and demands you to eat him out. A/N ┊ written by kam , hope you guys enjoy !

the bustling paths of inazuma were alive with activity as you strolled along, your footsteps in sync with the rhythm of the city. your mission for the day was to work alongside scaramouche, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment when you learned he had asked kazuha to accompany you instead.

"looks like it's just you and me today," kazuha remarked with a mischievous smile, his amber eyes sparkling. "let’s make the best of it, shall we?"

you nodded eagerly, having grown fond of kazuha's company over the past few weeks. his carefree nature always brought a sense of joy to any situation. as you embarked on your mission, you and kazuha engaged in playful banter and light-hearted teasing, each teasing comment met with laughter.

little did you know, scara was watching from a distance, his eyes following your every move. He couldn't help but feel jealousy rising within him. his blunt, cold demeanor masked a deeper vulnerability, and the thought of you enjoying someone else's company didn't sit well with him.

as the day wore on, scara’s jealousy escalated. he began to repeatedly mutter under his breath, his words filled with bitterness. "why is everyone drawn to her? can’t they see i’m right here?" he grumbled, unable to hide his frustration.

meanwhile, you and kazu were completely engrossed in your mission, unaware of scara’s growing resentment. the sun painted the sky in shades of orange and pink as evening settled in, casting a warm glow on the city. the mission had been a success, but scara couldn't find any solace in that.

finally, unable to contain his envy any longer, scara confronted you as you bid farewell to kazuha with a hug. scaras features contorted with frustration, his voice tinged with a mix of anger and vulnerability. "why do you always have to seek attention from others? can’t you see i’m here too?" he snapped, annoyance evident in his tone.

taken aback by his sudden outburst, you looked at scara, his harsh words only fueling your confusion. "scara, what are you talking about? kazuha and I were just having fun. it doesn't mean I don't appreciate your presence. you paired me up with him, so why are you being like this?!"

"youre being wayy too fucking touchy with him! and exchanging jokes too like as if you dont have me." he crossed his arms, while he puffed his cheeks out, signifying he was irritated. "scara, were just friends and you know that! plus he already has lumine!" you put a hand on your hips.

"yeah but no need to hug him! if you want someone to hug, im here." his forehead popped a vein, clearly telling that he was pissed the thought of you hugging someone other than him. "ugh, im pissed off now. if you enjoy time with him more then get with him." and that made you scoff.

"scara i never said anything about enjoying more with him! look...are you just..jealous?" you came to that conclusion...why else would he be mad, he never acted this way before.

"im not jealous! it was just a violence impulse that took over for a second." he would scoff before shifting his hat to block his face. "so in other words, jealous." you couldn't help but chuckle, and in that moment, he roughly clasped your wrist.

"well im pissed and pent up now! help me." with an effortless grace, he swept you up in a bridal-style embrace, then lifted both of you, soaring towards the direction of your shared abode. "wha-" was the last word you said before he took off.

sooner or later, you both reached your abode, scara gently places you down, harshly grabbing your wrist again. "ah-scara that hurts." your wrist ached at the sides, but your complaints fell on deaf ears as he continued to pull you into the house, heading for your shared room.

you would sigh, before finally speaking. "what do you want? cuddles? kisses?" the echo of scaras firm footsteps resonated through the house as he led you to the room. he harshly pulled you into the bed with him. "eat me out." his words left your eyes open wide.

"seriously..? now?" you eyed at him, intertwining gazes. "im pissed about that kazuha dude, so help me out here!" he can already be seen taking off his garments, till the only armor left visible on him was his black under-suit. "hurry.." he would grab your head, lowering it down to his aching pussy, begging for you to lick and suck on.

"dont order me around." you push his hand off you with a sigh. "ill make it up to you alright..? even though it wasnt my intents to make you jealous.." you whispered the last part. "well then hurry up! need to cum, and we havent been able to do it for so long since you were so fucking busy with missions!" you let out a chuckle. "i know im sorry."

you would move the suit that would cover his heat, revealing his pussy, pustulating on nothing but air. "so eager to be touched already." "mmh hurrryy." he would buck his hips towards you, running out of patience. "now now, no need to hurry, lets make this more exciting for you, mkay?" you eyed at him, before heading to the nearby table stand, you deftly opened the drawer, revealing two soft, neatly folded cloths. with a quick and precise motion, you reached out and secured them in your grasp.

scara rubs his thighs together, looking so...excited. he was biting his lips as he couldnt contain his thrill, he always loved the thought of being tied up. "do you want to try th-" "yes, please." he said with no hesitation. to be honest, you didnt think he would be up for this, so, there you bind his wrists together and then secure a blindfold over his eyes. the thought of not knowing where you would touch next had aroused him so much.

before scara can even say 'hurry', you tongue was already on his clit. sucking and swirling the soft muscle on it. "mmghff~!" scara muffled out, shuddering in pleasure as he moans out. traveling both of your thumbs to his folds, spreading them as you glide your tongue sensually along it. emitting pornographic moans from scaras lips. thighs quivering from the way your tongue skillfully pleasures him.

bucking his hips towards your face more, you take this as in he wanted more...inserting your tongue inside while your thumb caressed small circles on his clit, it sent him into an intoxicating whirlwind of pleasure. eliciting moans here and there. his head thrown back as his hands tried to find something to take hold on.

scara could almost cum on the spot right now...just a bit more and..there you halt your movements. "huh..? hey, whyd you stop..." he would whine, bringing his own fingers to stimulate his clit, but you slap it away. "no touching yourself, plus, im all worked up too." you say and he can hear the sounds of clothes shuffling and falling onto the ground. "lay down." you commanded and he obliged.

and there, youre on top of him, you ass facing him, laid on top of his heat as his arms were secured around you, creating a 69 position. "do it together mk?" he nods eagerly and already starts eating you out like he hasnt eaten in years. your thighs trembles, but that didnt stop you from sucking his clit again. sucking, licking, and fingering his bud had him feeling satisfied, even forgetting why he was pent up in the first place.

moans emitting from your mouth due to the way hes sucking your clit, not even stopping to take a break. stimulating you so hard youre almost at your climax, but you hold it in, wanting to come together with scara. the smell of sex and sweat is filled in the air, tasting his sweet, sweet juices, the flavors dancing delightfully on your tongue. "nnghf! y/n...gonna cum..!" he mutters out, sending vibrations to your clit.

"together..!" were the last words you said before both of the individuals squirted on each others faces. sucking and lapping up the juices that were dripping out. moans and grunts escaping from your lips, and scara tried catching up with his breathing. he let out a sigh, his breath escaping in pants. wet patches staining the bedsheets.

getting off of him, you plop your worn out body next to his. "enjoy?" gently removing the restraints, you tenderly caress his soft cheeks "yeah, whatever." chuckling before kissing his lips. "im tired. lets sleep now." he would mutter out before snuggling himself to your neck. cuddling him to sleep. you guys were exhausted already and you could always clean up the next day. scara forgot all about kazuha, now his worries were gone.

requests open!

[barkhoffman]

rest in peace tumblr user barkhoffman 🕊🕊

I'm gonna use this ask I got to springboard an explanation as to why I've gone silent and stopped updating, so! here it is! the Discourse no one asked for!

it was brought to my attention recently that some people on twitter (a site which I no longer use and have not used for years because it is a cesspool) have been vaguing/insulting SLAP, which! sure! fine, that's your right! not everyone has to like what I create, I don't mind that at all! that's not why I vanished, though.

my issue with these "criticisms" is that they ended up insulting who I am as a person. accusations of fatphobia, transphobia, and ableism (among other things) have been leveled at me, and that's where I personally draw the line.

you don't have to like me. you don't have to like what I write. but when you call my moral character into question, I get a little bothered.

an example: some of the accusations include calling me transphobic for using the word "vagina" to refer to a transmasc character's genitals. for those of you who don't know (not that I should have to disclose this information), I am not cis. trans people are not, in fact, a hivemind, and the idea that we should all be ashamed or uncomfortable or whatever the fuck with our anatomy unless we couch it in different terms is actually rather more transphobic than using a medically accurate term to refer to a person's genitals during a smut scene -- a scene which is written from the third-person limited perspective of a 48-year-old cis man who is unfamiliar with transgender issues, so even if it WAS universally offensive to call a vagina a vagina, it would still be in-character.

the thing is, in-character observations, speech, and thoughts are not actually a universal indicator of the author's identity or beliefs. things that you dislike or that make you feel uncomfortable are not automatically morally impure, and you don't have to reach for reasons to say the creator is a bigot because you don't agree with how they portrayed things.

(there's also something to be said about the inherent colonialist racism in the transmed viewpoints that lend to "transmascs shouldn't ever have vagina used to refer to their genitals," dismissing nonwhite cultures with a rich history of third/other genders and gender euphoria. DYSphoria is not the only trans experience. furthermore, calling the word vagina "female-gendered" is a slap in the face to all of us who are NOT female who have no problem referring to our genitals in that way. idk man, are the arguably more gendered terms "pussy" and "cunt" REALLY more appropriate here? should I have used "bonus hole" instead? not sure what the solution is supposed to be.

anyway.)

I could go on and on and get into every little accusation thrown at me and how insulting and ridiculous they are, but I don't want to invite that level of discourse. this is bad enough. it is absolutely batshit bonkers that I, as a nearly 30 year old person, am sitting here typing this right now. it is even more wild to me that at least some of the people involved in this drama are apparently in their 30s as well.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. if those of you who have a problem with my fics expended even half that energy into helping actual real life people instead of defending the nonexistent honor of fictional ones, the world might actually get better.

I know, I know. it feels good to vague on twitter and pretend you're doing activism when you're trashing a small creator's work in a way that's very likely to get back to them. it feels nice to know you've "saved the world from some evil" when you discourage people like me from continuing their projects. it feels like you're making a difference, right?

unfortunately, you are not. I would advise those of you involved in all this to get well soon and mature a little bit past wrongly deducing someone's viewpoints via the fictional works that they create. there are happier and more productive ways to spend your time, I swear.

I'm not mad, honestly. I'm just sort of tired. tired of getting messages asking where I am and what happened. tired of feeling like I have all this bottled up inside. tired of fandoms that would rather stoke fake moral outrage like Republicans than, idk, go to a protest or give a homeless person a dollar or defend POC from your racist uncle at the neighborhood barbecue.

I don't think we as an internet "society" really understand the mental toll it can take on someone to be called things like fatphobic, ableist, and transphobic -- particularly when, in my case, I am fat, disabled, and trans. of course, being a member of a group doesn't absolve you from bigotry against that group. however, when these accusations are leveled based entirely on someone's body of work and not on their actual character, it makes us far less likely to create works, what with the likelihood that they'll continue to be looked at in bad faith by those who have some sort of weird moral high ground point to prove.

I really didn't want to have to post about this and bring the people who like my work down, but I think you guys are owed an explanation rather than silence. not sure if I'll post anything after this, because I'm really too old to be engaging in internet slapfights over torture porn movie fanfics, of all things (I guess I really spoke too soon when I called this fandom nice, drama-free, and welcoming). if my ask box gets too messy, I'll turn it off. idk. just wanted you guys to know where I've gone.

now stop telling everyone I'm dead

[queer-questions-and-polls]

Hi there, I'm afab and I've been questioning my gender for about the past year.

My question to you is - is it valid for your non binary identity to be linked to your trauma? (I'm really, really sorry for this long ask)

Ok, so I may be about to go on a massive tangent here. These past few months, I've basically done away with so much of what I thought I knew about myself. When I was a child, since as long as I can remember, I've felt like I needed to be feminine in my presentation. I've never felt like an innocent, carefree child, and I don't relate to trans people who say they felt free in their prepubescent body, and want to return to that androgyny, because never had that .

I'm also recently diagnosed autistic, and my masking goes really deep - as far as I can remember. It was really strange - it was like i kept femininity at an arm's length. For example, I would have a really strong aversion to the colour pink. But there were also really strict guidelines I put in place for myself, for example no boys clothing, no martial arts or football, even if I wanted to. I lived in another country for a while, and I had a really short haircut which I hated, and I would often get mistaken for a boy, and that would enrage me, because they were questioning my authenticity.

I don't think I ever wanted to be feminine, but I felt I had to be to protect myself.

And now, the societal expectations of girlhood quite literally make me feel sick when I think about me in those contexts. I don't think I want to be a girl, but it's not a choice I can make, right? Am I just a pick me girl with issues? Do I just have trauma, and is this something I need to fix, or am I allowed not to be a girl?

As for dysphoria, I have no idea if it's just poor body image, since I don't fit typical beauty standards. Do I hate my boobs because they're absolutely massive, or because they make me a girl (rhetorical question)?

You sound so much like me to be honest with you.

It's fine to go on a tengent <3

that's what I'm here for to listen and give advice/ tell you about a similar experience so no one feels alone.

I, as a child was strongly encouraged to be feminine & i felt like I needed to to be loved and safe, I hated pink & had big trauma from all male figures in my life who give me really poor body image issues that I still have to this day, because that I hated masculinity for a long time and myself to be female. I forced myself to get into dancing i started wearing make-up (I was 6 at that time)

I didn't get to be a Carefree child either, I also didn't have that. My androgyny went away at 2 years old.

The rules sound somewhat like me when I was refusing to question my gender.

Now to your final paragraph: you not wanting to be girl isn't you making a choice.

E.g: I don't want to be a girl I get dysphoria about being one.

the only choice being made there is about if transioning is right for you.

I have both dysphoria and poor body image (i wasn't conventionality attractive either) and to be honest with you I get that completely but I can tell you what I do personally to differentiate it. Which is thinking 'is this about my weight or looking to feminine?' But that probably won't work for everyone.

A pick me girl with issues? My dude. (Sorry if that wording brings any discomfort)

A pick me girl is someone looking for male validation and that doesn't sound like anything you've said at all. But if you mean a tomboy it really doesn't sound like that either.

Idk if this will help but I also have massive boobs, and by observing my mother who is the same size as me i figured something something out: women with big boobs typically hate them because of back problems & bra issues.

I, a transmasc just hate them in general as well as for outing me even in a binder and I wish they would disappear. My mother wishes hers were half their size.

Even if you your transness is linked to trauma does that make you less trans?

Also something else i would recommend that helped me is to imagine yourself as one of your friends and your trying to help them figure themselves out.

(Bassically look at yourself though an outside perspective it usually helps!)

I wish you good luck on your gender journey and I hope this helped you at least a little <3

And remember I'm just a stranger on the internet, you know you best so don't take my word as the gospel truth.