#but also i can't NOT cry about malex at all times so

[lesbianmaxevans]

oh I saw some of your old roswell posts by chance which is why I sent that ask. Same I wish Maria was in on the secret from the start like in the original series I just wasn't into Malex that much I also hated how they ended things between Michael and Maria they could've been great together tbh Maria wasn't used properly in the show I wish we had more of her. I didn't know people shipped her with Max I saw a gif you did talking about then and thought I missed something like when were they together? lmao I would've loved more of their friendship but as a couple yes please I want that too some write that fic. Liz kind of annoyed me throughout the series idk if others were and the way the writers treated Max he deserved better he was actually extremely power and was special then they go just kidding he's nothing special. The whole Max and Liz relationship did take a backseat and you know the self loathing part of himself and being afraid of his powers are barely discussed. Back to the important part of Max and Maria now that you're telling me about it I can't unsee it that would probably be the best relationship on the show you converted me lol

By the way, I don't know if you read the Roswell books but are they good? I wonder if there are any Max and Maria in there if that's where you first fell in love with that ship or not.

maria being the last person to know and a very long time after everyone else...... my villain origin story actually. also the way she found out was horrid. like she finds out by seeing her dead best friend bc her boyfriend and best friend aren't willing to tell her. and how did no one tell her after the gala when she was drugged?!?!?!?! she was in direct danger and still no one told her. unbelievable. I truly hate this writers room so much.

GOD DON'T GET ME STARTED ON 2.13. the way the show had michael dating maria and then was so blatantly pushing m@lex in the final few episodes of s2 is when I really started to dislike the show. (don't ask me why I came back, I was genuinely so close to quitting so many times.) maria's in the hospital after nearly dying and she's sacrificing their rship bc the narrative is giving m@lex the soulmate treatment. and this directly contradicts how s1 ended for her!!!!!!!! s1 she spends the whole time being alex and liz's support system and michael was the only one consistently there for her! she decides to let herself take a chance on this relationship bc she's falling for him and she's constantly sacrificing everything for everyone else and she is choosing herself for once. and then s2 she's back to being self-sacrificing. and then the fucking nora/tripp bullshit to hit you over the head with the m@lex soulmatism. 🤢 god I'm getting so fucking angry all over again I hate s2 so fucking muchhhhhh.

and the thing is michael and maria had good chemistry. I rmbr some of their s4 scenes had me like "damn if it weren't for the dubious consent of their initial rship, I would be on board with this" bc I DID like them in early s1. I was into it up until they had sex when maria was still in the dark. and then the fact that he wasn't the one to tell her about aliens + rosa's coverup was kind of the nail in the coffin for me bc that scene was excrutiating. michael continually trying to touch maria when she repeatedly tells him to not touch her and to leave 🤢 (which imo is even more egregious given michael's background of being abused like........) I can't believe ppl were crying about michael in that scene when maria surely feels violated bc her whole world just fell out from under her. but my rant about how fandom treats michael + isobel vs everyone else is for another day!

anyway! yes, the show never gave maria good material imo. every time they would start to give heather something meaty, it would just disappear. like s1, as I said above, she was pretty much only there to be alex and liz's support and to start teasing her rship w michael + her being part alien bc her abilities. s2 actually kind of lets her start tapping into the alien abilities, but oh no, her powers are killing her. s3 was more of her being self-sacrificing. and then s4 she loses her powers bc the treatment to save her, only to discover new powers in what..... the final 5 episodes or smth? 😑 like....... you do not understand how desperately I want to beat these writer's asses.

there is a bit of maria/max fic 👀 it's mostly smut tho adskjhfkjfdgskjfdg so rip if that's not your thing. maria/max would have been so good, the untapped potential actually makes me feel insane. like esp s3 when they're both dealing w deteriorating health? there's just so much that they could relate to each other on that they wouldn't be able to talk to other people about. and yet I think they have like maybe six scenes together that aren't group scenes in the whole show. 🙄 I deserved a FWB storyline. I saw that 2.08 scene at the wild pony, you can't tell me they don't want to smash.

as for liz...... s1 liz I would have died in battle for her. like I was in the trenches defending her from fandom constantly. s2 retconning her driving force as a scientist from being that she doesn't want anyone to experience the pain she did when she lost rosa (1.07 lab scene) to her chasing after people's approval and wanting recognition....... writers die 5000 times by my blade. it's a core mismatch and makes it borderline impossible for me to reconcile s1 liz with post s1 liz. short version: s1 liz has never done anything wrong ever in her life. idk who post s1 liz is bc that change was straight up character assassination in my eyes. and post s1 liz gets on my nerves a lot too. like how did we go from her in tears at the thought of betraying max's trust when her memories of max are all jumbled bc isobel's mind meddling to her literally using alien dna for experiments w/o his consent when she has accepted and can actually voice that she loves him?!?!?!? like make it make sense!!!!!!!!!!

and god. GOD. don't get me started on the writing for max. the writers so clearly had no idea what to do with him after his "death" and it makes me fucking feral bc the blueprint for what to do after s1 was just sooooooooo fucking obvious to me!!!!!! like s1 he's drowning in self-loathing and that starts to ease a little when he and liz get together bc it's literally the only thing he's ever wanted, but he has his self-sacrificing nature and he's a protector, so of course he sacrifices himself to save rosa. to undo his biggest regret and to attempt to relieve liz's trauma. so you'd think his storyline after this is about him chipping away at the self-loathing (and I think a scene of rosa saying she forgives him would have been pivotal to this but the writers didn't give a fuck about their dynamic apparently bc they have like. 3 scenes together post his resurrection. I hate it here), him learning to embrace his powers (and liz's science background SHOULD have been a help here. just for them to privately understand his heritage better. but again. the writers don't fucking care about that), him becoming more self-assured, etc, etc. and what do the writers do? s2 he's depowered bc he got a weak heart and he's basically just there for exposition dumps. s3 is such a fucking joke for max fans he's literally not even there for half the season. s4 he is depowered AGAIN for half the season and then the narrative treats him as selfish and idiotic for wanting to be able to touch liz without hurting her...... BITING MAIMING KILLING. and as you said he's set up to be so so powerful. noah calls him The Savior. and then in s3 we learn that that's just jones' title that he gave himself. jones, the genocidal egocentric alien, is the one with that title. so it's not even fucking about max. max just has that title bc he's jones' clone. and don't get me started on how fucking nonsensical the writing is for s3. max is jones' clone so he has all of jones' powers. michael and isobel try to fight jones w/o max and barely make it out alive. suddenly w no training or practice, by the end of the season isobel can fight jones with the alien sword and beat him. michael can fight jones with the mind powers and nearly overpower him. meanwhile max does fucking nothing in the final fight. omfg it pisses me off so bad. someone redo this show and do the jones plot competently, it's genuinely devastating how much potential was wasted with it.

and no I haven't read the books! I'm not sure how much of the show would be reflected in them given they are still high school students in the books, so I'm sure a lot was changed to adapt it into the show. I basically just got invested in max and maria bc I'm a polyshipper at heart and maria/liz was so so so real in s1 (why did the writers barely let them interact one on one again after that. god ik I keep complaining about the writers but truly all of them can go to hell!!!!) so I was like "liz has TWO hands" and then s2 fucking up liz's characterization made my brain go really hard for max/maria and I've been stuck there since. lmao.

[stillcosmic]

I saw a take that was like "because Tyler is hurt they should have just killed Alex off instead and had Michael turn evil to avenge him" and I was like??? You'd rather have a beloved character DEAD than absent? You'd rather have Michael throw all his character development out the window?? I don't know why people can't just respect that Tyler is injured and that the show runners are trying to be respectful to him while also trying to accommodate the fans by delivering a good story??? I'd be happy even if Alex only appeared once more this season if only for the knowledge that he and Michael end with a happy ending.

i obviously want more alex and malex this season, but if an actor is not on set because he changed his contract or couldn’t be or whatever is going on… we can’t control that and neither can the writers. they’re working with what they can. plus, i love alex but he’s not the only character on this show. it isn’t realistic to spend 6 episodes with his adult bf crying over him being on a work trip.

i am of the minority that thinks they’ve done a decent job of keeping alex present through michael during these five episodes without him. obviously it’s dumb that he hasn’t figured out more yet from the lack of phone calls from alex… i wish they found out earlier… but we see that michael misses him, thinks of him, loves him, etc. it has only been a week in canon. we’ve gotten some sweet lines, more than we would have expected a season or two ago. that’s his boyfriend and it’s cute af <3

we’re entering the good part of this storyline with michael reacting, etc (remember those interviews where vlam talks about how much michael loves alex, won’t let him go anywhere without him, won’t stop until he’s found, etc. those were excellent). so im just riding it out. i want to enjoy this show and not bitch about it because that’s not fun. i love malex <3 and i have my outfit ready for their 413 wedding

plus, don’t y’all love that the trailer is all about him… his friends reacting? trying to find him??? if they didn’t do this, everyone would bitch that they suck as friends, but they are looking for their friend and now it’s still a problem? like nobody can win with some of these attitudes. (obviously michael needs to know, but i think he knows before the first commercial break. the group knows he’ll flip a shit so they’re probably nervous to say it but he figures it out anyways).

im hopeful they’ll deliver in 10-13 to make up for the time lost on malex stuff <3

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here still mostly on my Malex high, and while there's about 50 of the songs we've covered that could work for this week, I'm going to go with Love Me Like You Do. So this is a recent Covers release, and like most of the covers its the emotion in Ryan's voice thst carries the song. I decided to hold onto it because it's been 2.5 seasons of these idiots circling their feelings for each other and now that they know how the other feels they answered the question "what are you waiting for"?

Ooooh, good choice nonnie! One of my favorite things is either popped up versions of slower, sadder songs, or stripped and slowed versions of poppy songs (Bootstraps did a stunning slow version of “I wanna dance with somebody” that you should absolutely listen to and wallow in some Malex feels), and this is such a great example of that! And you’re right, it’s Ryan’s voice that really carries this song and makes the lyrics shine through. 

You're the light, you're the night You're the color of my blood You're the cure, you're the pain You're the only thing I wanna touch Never knew that it could mean so much

Oh man, this verse gives me big Michael feels. Teen Alex being a bright spot in his very hard young life, but also the comfort Michael finds in the night, thinking of home, although “you’re the color of my blood” is exceedingly rude and painful. “you’re the cure, you’re the pain” gives me lots of Lost Decade feels because I’m sure that’s exactly how Michael felt 😭😭😭 and if that wasn’t bad enough, “you’re the only thing I wanna touch” just makes me think of Michael’s hand and now I’m crying. Also, Michael discovering love? Discovering what it means to be loved through Alex? Never knowing love could be like this? Stooooop, I’m hurting my own feelings!

You're the fear, I don't care 'Cause I've never been so high Follow me through the dark Let me take you past our satellites You can see the world you brought to life, to life

If the last bit was Michael, this one is Alex, because a lot of his fear centers on Michael and so much is tied up in that moment of Michael being hurt by his dad, but it wasn’t enough to keep him away because, like Michael, he never knew love could be like this, so soft, and gentle. And Alex asking Michael to follow him, to trust him is so perfect for this last episode and I’m just dying over “you can see the world you brought to life” after we got Alex talking about wanting to build a safe world for Michael, for them. 😭😭😭

So love me like you do, love me like you do Love mе like you do, love me likе you do Touch me like you do, touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

*sobs* This plea is both of them, begging for the other to love and touch them like only they can. And after all this time, “what are you waiting for” has been their motto because they were never quite ready at the same times.

Fading in, fading out On the edge of paradise Every inch of your skin Is a Holy Grail I've got to find Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire

I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head's spinning around, I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for? 

Oh man, this is just perfect for that kiss this week!! (also fire imagery is going to make me think of Michael and Malex foreeeever!) and this is moment where Alex was looking like, “what are you waiting for” and Michael was like, fuck if I know, *smooches*

Love me like you do, love me like you do Love me like you do, love me like you do Touch me like you do, touch me like you do So what are you waiting for? Love me like you do, love me like you do Love me like you do, love me like you do Touch me like you do, touch me like you do What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

*cries in Malex*

[youngsamberg]

fave malex scene from 1 2 and 3

season 1: this season has so many great scenes that establish their relationship so i can't choose just one!!! the obvious ones are the "i never look away, not really" and "we connected like something–" "cosmic" scenes because DUH but another one that i love is the scene where michael shows alex his lair for the first time!! he brought liz in there like an episode or two ago and wouldn't show her certain things, but he immediately shows alex everything because he trusts him and "if anyone's gonna destroy me it might as well be you". and when michael talks about the console being his only way out, and alex realizes that michael is trying to find a way to leave the planet (and him), i think that's a really formative moment for alex and made him realize how important michael's presence in his life is. i mean alex realizes that he has a piece of michael's ship (or so he thought) and he literally doesn't give it to him because he doesn't want him to go!

season 2: obv alex singing to michael is INSANE but i also have to mention "you came" "you asked me to" because it's just six words and describes their entire dynamic. they're not together, michael is currently dating alex's best friend, and when michael needs to talk he texts ALEX of all people, and he shows up. because of course he does. because michael asked him to. i could talk about that ten second scene for hours

season 3: the scene in michael's lair in 313!! it just really showed how much they've grown. michael telling alex all, and i mean ALL, of his fears, and alex easily being able to calm michael down and decide that they can go through whatever happens next TOGETHER!! also michael vocalizing that all he really wanted to do was go on a date in public with him and walk down main street holding hands!!!!!!! i could cry just thinking about how sweet that was

[cosmicclownboy]

Ok so Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish doesn’t seem like a Malex song on the surface because it’s about blue eyes and they both have brown BUT “You really know how to make me cry when you gimme those ocean eyes” and “I've been walkin' through a world gone blind, can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind, careful creature made friends with time” are very Malex. Also there’s a reference to Napalm.

DUDE I LISTEN TO THAT SONG ALL THE TIME FOR THEM

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and belated happy holidays and also current thank you so much for the fic recs!! I'm back to work but things are so slow to pick up and there's plenty of hiatus left to work through them!! Hopefully by tonight I'll send you my S2 wrap-up thought because I want to start talking about the insanity of S3. Meanwhile, while I don't watch 911 LS (tried, can't stand Owen) i keep up with Tarlos so in tribute to this week's episode a song, Already Gone from the Covers album (sorry😭)

*deep sigh* I had plans to do this today, if nothing else then during my normal 911/Lone Star viewing time because I wouldn't be viewing (sidebar, taking a hiatus week two weeks in to the new season is...not a good look especially in the middle of a multi-episode arc. Stop it) but somehow my entire evening got away from me, so I'm doing this before bed because I will not hold it for yet another day! Plus, we're stuck another week without Tarlos so might as well dig into the pain!

So I’m gonna be honest, this song hurts me deep in my soul because there is nothing worse for a hopeless romantic that...hopelessness and a love where both people tried but it just didn’t work. It makes my soul ache, but not in the same good way other SaL original songs do. Though that’s likely because, just like everyone who had a breakup any time around when this song was released by Kelly Clarkson back in 2009, it’s got a lot of painful emotions tied up in it. And let me tell you, Ryan’s voice sounding like it’s on the edge of tears the entire song does not help!

But, since Lone Star is leaning into the pain with Tarlos broken up and TK’s life in the balance, we’re going to as well!

Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye Even with our fists held high It never would've worked out right We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out I, I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop

Uuuuuugh, the reason this is so painful is that we know Tarlos are meant to be and are going to find their way back together, but right now, it’s so easy to see both of them looking around and finding themselves trapped by ghosts of their pasts, and traumas old and new. How both of them have felt unworthy of love and like they were never meant for people to stick around, and how sometimes it’s easier to leave than to be left, especially if you think you’re hurting the other person by sticking around (Ooooh, catch me DEEP in my Malex feelings about this song too and having to remind myself that they are currently happy and banging it out on Alex’s couch whenever they can while ignoring Max’s phone calls)

I want you to know That it doesn't matter Where we take this road But someone's gotta go And I want you to know You couldn't have loved me better But I want you to move on So I'm already gone

We still don’t know who broke things off, though I’m leaning towards Carlos mostly because they’ve already had TK be the one calling it off or unsure about  staying together a few times and they need to shake things up, but also because of how Awkward Carlos was when they ran into each other on that call, while TK just looked really sad. And I can imagine Carlos wanting to talk things out and be friends (because he’s still very much in love) but TK has been icing him out. But regardless of how things went down, I can easily picture either of one them trying to reassure the other that it wasn’t their fault and them breaking up is for the best. Have I mentioned that I find this song incredibly painful? Because I do. 😭

Looking at you makes it harder But I know that you'll find another That doesn't always make you wanna cry It started with a perfect kiss Then we could feel the poison set in Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so I love you enough to let you go

*quietly sobs into my comforter* TK and Carlos both have SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be like “You were perfect, this was perfect, but I’m NOT perfect and I poisoned it all, so I’m setting you free because I love you too much to trap you with me. And it breaks my heart 😭😭😭 (This is also exactly like every time Alex or Michael took a step back, both thinking they were at fault for what the other suffered and-NOPE! *think about the couch scene, think about the couch scene, think about the couch scene...)

The rest is just repeated chorus and a bit of repeated verse, but this ending always gets me.

Remember all the things we wanted Now all our memories, they're haunted We were always meant to say goodbye

Because we saw the cracks before with TK always being one foot out the door ready to run, and then we got more insight into Carlos and the whooooole heap of things he keeps locked so tightly away and how not letting TK in caused problems before. I’m soooo interested to see what happened between them, because I think, until they start getting a handle on their own feelings and stop feeling they need to justify being worthy of having what they want, that they are going to continue thinking that everything has an expiration date, and therefore they start out with the “goodbye” already on the tip of their tongues. I am manifesting some HEALING for those boys this season, and I can’t wait to see them work it out and get back together, Because nothing is worse to a hopeless romantic than a love story with no happy ending, but nothing is better than hope springing up in the middle of what looked to be a sad ending.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and I was planning at some point to talk about the things I liked about 3x03 or what my take on that Malex scene was (mostly positive, except absolutely agreeing with you that it came out of nowhere and the writers need to start actually giving Malex the same treatment as Echo, not just promising it) but honestly the next episode is almost here and I'd rather get back to talking about 911, which I've neglected. So I finished 2x07, or as I'm calling it "I Can't Stop Crying" TBC.

SaL anon continuing and yes, I cried the entire second half of the episode. It was ugly. So even I'll start with Eddie's part, actually the least I interesting for me. So while she's not as bad as Taylor, I'm not a huge Shannon fan, her whole "I abandoned my kid because I felt guilty about causing my kid's CP" isn't great. Way to make your kids condition about you. Anyway on to Athena and Hen (I know you've said it but the RNM writers need to watch this show to learn how to write a girlboss) So I love that Athena went out of her way and beyond her duty to find the hiker's identity as a way of keeping her childhood promise. I feel like that's solidly in character for her. And the scene when she told his wife? Uh, so much crying but it was so good. Not just the wife's relief but that she's been fighting for years against the idea he left her with her family and she finally has justice? 😭😭😭😭 Hen's story was the roughest but i loved seeing her indecision play out. (sorry this got long) Hen goes from just confusion about how to feel about her decision to seeing how her Dad kept track if her and you can SEE her hope and tilting toward letting him live in the hope he'll wake up. And how does the show counter this idea??!! By killing a horse, which started off my crying streak. Thank you show for being the first to cause a breakdown via horse. Anyway next scene Hen is similarly letting her Dad go next scene and it's too much. Obviously I loved it.

Oh man, yeah 2x07 is a rough but good one! I loved Eddie’s look in the interview for the new school and how concerned his is about making sure he gets something that will be the most helpful for Christopher, even if it means doing something he didn’t want to do like reach out to the woman who left him (and Christopher) to ask for help. And Eddie isn’t really big on asking for help, but for Christopher? He’ll do anything. And yeah, I also cry every time Athena goes to talk to the wife. She just finally gets the closure and knows that she was right all along, that he didn’t leave her, not willingly. (And yes, Athena is amazing, and so are Hen and Maddie, and Karen, and it really shows that there are different ways to be strong women) The thing with Hen’s dad was 😭 and yeah, during my re-watch I absolutely skipped the whole scene with the horse because I did not need to be emotionally scarred by it again. This show has made me tear up a lot, but that scene made me full on ugly cry. And I know you haven’t seen season 1 but this was also a great episode for Buck in that he stopped living in his ex’s house (not a place they got together, her place that he wasn’t even really officially moved in and living with her in, btw). I wonder why that is? Who could have come into his life to make him want to go out and start living again? 🤔🤔🤔 There are a lot of fun moments in this episode especially with the whole “ghost call” thing which I LOVE that they left open-ended. I can handle the occasional slightly spooky thing (like I LOVE Welcome to Night Vale, and my profile picture is very gory for someone who claims to hate horror and gore 🤣) but I usually hate Halloween episodes of shows because they are always TOO creepy, or use it as an excuse for some cult creepy murder fest or other thing I can’t watch or that deeply unsettles me, so I was leery about 911′s but I have really enjoyed all their Halloween episodes (Brooklynn 99 is the only other show that made me say that, because they understood that Halloween is supposed to be FUN, and overly dramatic and ridiculous) though I think season 3′s one is my favorite because of the Buck stuff and mostly because it’s a great Chimney episode. 

And as a bonus in this episode, those boys sure did look pretty repelling down that cliffside! One of my favorite shots in the show. And Eddie got introduced to Buck’s superstitious side and probably fell a little more in *something unnamed as of yet* with him.

I am so glad you’re enjoying the show and be prepared to buckle TF up because the next episode is a doozy! 

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and just because we're feeling hope doesn't mean we can't cry about it, so let's talk about Eight. I've been saving this, it's in the top five, and that's because I love that through the perfect synch of music and lyrics (another perfect Malex match) Ryan details an entire journey of a relationship from suspicion to intimacy. Malex have always been closed off but now is the time for them to go from "I won't let you in" to "heres a map, here's a shovel, here's my Achilles heel".

"just because we're feeling hope doesn't mean we can't cry about it" is SUCH a fandom mood, and especially perfect for Malex! I'm glad you saved this one and are bringing it out now just before we find out more and what we know is going to change. This song....whooo boy this song is so Malex it hurts. I was really getting a lot of Alex vibes in this song but I think that's because he's more closed off from the audiences POV, where as we got to see a little more of Michael's vulnerable moments when he was alone (after Alex rebuffs him, or he finds out about Sanders trying to foster/adopt him etc) but Michael is still pretty closed off towards other people so this really is such a good fit for both of them. I hope everyone (read: you and me) are ready for a feels trip!

i remember the minute. it was like a switch was flipped- i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up and suddenly it fit. God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago... i was little, i was weak, perfectly naïve and i grew up too quick.

Uuuuuugh, it is crying about baby Alex and Michael hours right off the bat here! Just thinking about them having to grow up too quickly, but also how they fought, and picked up the armor they needed to protect themselves as best they could in order to survive (oh but babies, it is time to lay that armor down!). Also thinking about how the show has Liz talking about armor and how that fits with Michael and Alex gearing up and trading barbs with each other over the past 10 or so years. Also think about that quote from GoT (forgive me but we can't talk about armor and NOT talk about this quote 🤷‍♀️) "Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you". But the thing about all that armor, is it makes it very difficult to let people in. Which not only served, but likely saved Alex and Michael in the past but it's a coping mechanism that is no longer helpful and is actually hindering their growth at this point.

now you won’t see all that i have to lose and all i've lost in the fight to protect it. i won’t let you in. i swore never again- i can't afford, no, i refuse to be rejected.

Oof oof oof. This hits me right in the Alex feels and him leaving Michael behind to protect him and to protect himself. But also in the Michael feels and how after all these years of crashing together and breaking apart he was tired of feeling rejected over and over again and feeling like he was never enough. And also also in the Malex feels and how they were just starting to open up to each other on a deeper level when Jesse Manes happened, and Rosa happened and they both closed themselves off again.

i want to break these bones 'til they're better. i want to break them right and feel alive. you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong- my healing needed more than time. when i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things, i see the familiar. i was little, i was weak, i was perfect too, now i’m a broken mirror.

This song is...a lot. That first bit about breaking bones fits with Michael and his hand and the forced healing he got from Max (pleeeease say we are addressing that this season!), and the second part about needing more than just time to heal is so on point for both Michael and Alex about both their external and internal injuries. And I love how that second part of this section brings back the "i was little, i was weak" from before, but makes a point to change "perfectly naïve" to "i was perfect too" because being little, and "weak" isn't a bad thing for a child to be, but now so much has changed for both of them, both seeing more broken parts in mirror. I'm also thinking about Alex seeing Michael as a teen and immediately seeing something familiar, a kindred spirit. Aaaaaand now I'm crying again.

but i can't let you see all that i have to lose, all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it. i can't let you in- i swore never again. i can't afford to let myself be blindsided. i'm standing guard, i'm falling apart and all i want is to trust you. show me how to lay my sword down for long enough to let you through.

Just thinking about Michael being so shocked to see Alex in the pilot episode, and Alex telling Kyle he can't just to into a conversation with Michael blind and how hard they have been fighting to protect themselves from getting hurt again. AND THEN, Ryan hits us with the exact thing we are all trying to manifest for season 3: Malex wanting to trust each other, and learning to lay down their armor and let each other in.

here i am, pry me open. what do you want to know? i’m just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence. but here's a map, here's a shovel, here’s my achilles' heel. i’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i'm ready to begin. i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in.

The hits just keep coming! This first bit makes me think of Michael saying "Do you want to know who I am? Or do you want to know what I am?" And it continues to be crying about baby Michael and Alex hours, thinking about them hiding and being scared and burying those softer parts of themselves. And again, the wish for season 3: the two of them being open to love even if it means getting hurt. "If anyone is going to destroy me, it might as well be you."

i’ll shake the ground with all my might, i will pull my whole heart up to the surface. for the innocent, for the vulnerable, i'll show up on the front lines with a purpose. and i’ll give all i have, i'll give my blood, i'll give my sweat- an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken. i’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again, invincible like i've never been.

This verse gets me in my Alex feels in particular with the talk of having to reveal his long-buried heart, but also with fighting for the innocent and vulnerable (not just his service, but also offering Michael a place to stay), and being on the front lines, giving his all. But the last line, that is what I'm looking forward to this season. The two of them have been so broken, but they are putting themselves back together, and when Malex finally learns to trust each other, and let each other in, when they become a team, they are going to be invincible.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and indulging in my Malex feels with When it Don't Come Easy. It's another Covers song so if you're not familiar be prepared for Ryan's voice and a piano to take your heart apart a bit but also put it together wrapped in a fluffy blanket (so tears but sweet ones?). In my mind this is either Malex now or Malex post-Forest but pre-relationship. They have doubts and are working it out, but they don't have doubts about what they mean to each other (but we know, they're gonna get home)

Oh man, you weren't kidding! This is just such an earnest love song about being loving and supportive and this is exactly what we want to see for Malex! And the thread of being unsure if they will make it home is killlling me. Very excited to talk about this one today.

Red lights are flashing on a highway I wonder if we're gonna ever get home I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight Everywhere the waters getting rough Your best intentions may not be enough I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

Right away it starts with "I wonder if we're gonna ever get home" and that is such a Malex mood and has been for this whole time since they were teens. And then immediately it goes into "Your best intentions may not be enough" which is just rude.😭

But if you break down I'll drive out and find you If you forget my love I'll try to remind you Stay by you when it don't come easy When it don't come easy

Uuuggggh it hurts. They haven't had it easy but they were previously both able to get some distance because Alex would leave back to wherever he was stationed. But seasons 1 and 2 made them stay in close proximity and really face what happens when they can't just leave and forced them to start working on actually communicating. I am hoping to see some kind of acknowledgement that things are maybe still not easy but are still worth putting in the work.

I don't know nothing except change will come Year after year what we do is undone Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run I wonder if we're gonna ever get home You're out there walking down a highway And all of the signs got blown away Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

All this one step forward, two steps back stuff, and Michael spiraling and dating someone else and whatever is going on with Alex and Forrest with them walking in the "wrong direction", it definitely made us wonder if they were ever going to get home 😭

But if you break down I'll drive out and find you If you forget my love I'll try to remind you And stay by you when it don't come easy When it don't come easy

I just love this chorus! It's all about the love and support, going after someone whose lost their way, reminding someone when they forget that they are worthy of love, and (most importantly for Malex) choosing to stay, even when things are hard. As always, I'm manifesting this energy for them!

So many things that I've had before They don't matter to me now Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost And for the love I've never found When the last bird falls And the last siren sounds Someone will say what's been said before It's only love we're looking for

"Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost and for the love I've never found" along with the "siren sound" reference really hits me in my Michael feelings about losing his mom and the love he never got from her or the rest of his family, and also thinking about Alex and his mom who left (would loooove to know more about what happened there) and the love he never got from his dad. And then capping it off with "It's only love we're looking for" I just... *incoherent sobbing*

When you break down I'll drive out and find you When you forget my love I'll try to remind you And I'll stay by you when it don't come easy When it don't come easy It don't come easy It don't come easy

This was such a good one today, Nonnie, especially with the current rain storm I'm having. Despite all the salt I may have, I truly am excited about the new season and what is to come!

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here to say you have no one but yourself to blame for the fact that today we are talking about Page 28. Everything about it makes me scream/cry, but we need to talk about his voice in the chorus. I just can't even describe properly what emotion is there because it's A LOT (hint: my favorite song is my fav because of the way he sings it). And the lyrics and the Malex of them! "Elegance in dissonance", "casting shadows on all I leave behind", please help, I'm not doing this one justice.

How could you read my tags specifically talking about listening to Aperture and Page 28 back to back and then do exactly as I suggested?! *shocked pikachu face* I am so excited to talk about this song because it reaches deep inside my soul and makes me feel so seen. It’s a song about working on yourself and moving forward and I love it so much. And yes, let’s talk about his voice in the chorus! I usually describe his songs as sounding “earnest” because that’s the closest I can come up with for the emotions it invokes. It’s like no matter what emotion is being conjured by the lyrics, he is feeling it so deeply and his voice lets you know. (I’m now wondering if your favorite song of his is one of his covers? Very excited to find out!)

I just read through the lyrics again with Malex in mind and I am screaming about how perfect this is!!! So let’s get started!

have you read the script? could you picture it? … is it worth the risk?

everything i love is on the line, on these neon signs.

but i need to know- when you looked away, was it something that i said? was it something that i said? well okay, okay, i need you more than i did before. now that the concrete is nearly set.

Oof, right off the bat we are getting into both Teen Malex (Alex making that first move, Michael kissing him in the museum) and present day Malex, wondering if the risk is worth getting hurt again. (I like to think the “neon signs” are the way they look at each other so clearly in love that all the Manes family knows it and everyone else is just being purpousfully obtuse 😂) And then that doubt in the pre-chorus! 😭😭😭 Lost Decade Michael feels AND season 2 Alex feels! Both of them wondering if it’s their fault. I can’t. I cannot.

here in the second act i’m living in repair. strange how the heart adapts when its pieces disappear. and there, on page 28, i’m so tired of drying glue, i begin my grand attempt at building something new.

I love this so much. The imagery of living in repair and having to adapt to living with a broken heart, and eventually being tired of waiting for the repairs to take hold so you start clean and fresh. It’s just....uuugh I cannot even put into words what this song makes me feel. But it’s also so good for Malex and this is (I know I say this ever time, I know but it’s so true!) what I want to see for them in season 3. I would love for them to have some good conversations and clear the air and agree to start clean.

though i tend to write the epiphany more immediately, i guess i’m trusting that there’s such a thing as elegance in dissonance.

God, i’m skeptical of pulling scenes. was it something that i said? was it something that i did? please don’t get me wrong- i still need your help as history repeats itself

Uuuuugh, back to Lost Decade-Present feels! I love the imagery in that first part, of being so eager that you want to skip ahead to the “good parts” and missing the beauty and growth that comes from dissonance. (This is....an important lesson for me.) And then back to the doubt and the line about history repeating itself...it just makes my poor Malex soul ache. 

here in the aftermath, i’m pulling at the seams. strange how the heart adapts in the absence of routine. and there, on page 29, i find “new” and make it mine. but i can’t help casting shadows on all i leave behind.

Love the change to the chorus which is still focused on “adapting” to the broken, to the new, and how even when starting over the past doesn’t ever go away. I think that’s something Malex will struggle with eventually though I hope it only helps them grow and learn to lean on each other when they are struggling.

maybe i could afford to change a bit… even let go of the reigns? every torn out page was worth the risk now that the stakes have been raised.

so here in the final draft, i’ve given all i have. strange how the heart expands in the absence of a plan. there’s nothing left on the page, but i’m okay with that, for i found my resolution was designed for stronger hands.

Ahhhhhh! Musically this song is a bop and has a lot of forward motion on it, but that shift from the bridge into the final chorus makes my soul sing! And then I try to sing along only to find out I’m actually crying because this song does things to me. I love the realization in this section that change is good and necessary, and sometimes we need to let go of the things we’ve held on to, or give up control and realize that some risks are worth taking. And then the shift in the chorus from the heart “adapting” to the heart “expanding” (”in the absence of a plan”, lookin at you Alexander.) and just the settled hopefulness of “there’s nothing left on the page, but i’m okay with that” and the final realization that it’s okay to ask for help and rely on others. 

I just love this song so so so much, so thanks for letting me flail about it today! 

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here and I'm so sorry my dear but it's crying about Malex time because we're gonna talk about Silhouettes. Yes, we say this about every song but the lyrics of Silhouettes are so, so painfully Malex. Its the horrible trauma of both their childhoods "because the scars they left we're loud and clear", the wish from both of them that they could change things and be loved "they'd wake up tomorrow and regret the pain", and so many others. Most important "the truth is that you're loved".

I was checking my notifications because I hadn’t had one from you in a bit (read: 1 day-ish) and I was about to be excited when I opened this and oh my goooood why are you doing this to me?! 😭😭😭 this song makes me ugly cry if I think about it too hard and it is SO perfect for Alex and Michael it hurts. (DO NOT SPEAK TO ME ABOUT EVAN BUCKLEY RIGHT NOW, I CAN'T DO THIS WITH HIM TOO, I WILL HAVE A BREAKDOWN)

Anyway. Musically this song is absolutely beautiful and so soft and gentle that it's easy to miss the gut punch of the lyrics. I have officially been proven wrong because I firmly believed it was impossible to be sad while listening to ukulele and OH LOOK I’M SOBBING INTO MY SHIRT. Also the clarinet solo is so moving and beautiful. I love, love love this song, and the video for it posted at the end of this ask is a MUST WATCH because it's absolutely stunning AND it’s a silhouette!

Okay, whoooo boy I gotta prepare myself for this. I hope everyone is ready for a feels trip because this song is heavy but so, so, so hopeful. I read through the How It’s Made for this song and there is some interesting stuff about his work with To Write Love On Her Arms and how listening to these stories of hurt and recovery brought this song about, but I’m going to post a quote of what he said about family because it really hits at the Alex and Michael of it all. (And Buck, oh god, someone go give all these men 10 minutes of solid hugging)

“in all of our histories of pain, it's not uncommon that the source is deeply rooted within our family relationships. which saddens me to no end, considering that "family" should to be a relationship that safe and sacred above all else- it's meant to be where you turn when the world is unkind to you, that builds you back up. so, "silhouettes" is a story about someone navigating the waters of hurt and pain from their broken family, struggling to see the simple truth that they are worth love and deserve so much better.”

Okay, grab some tissues and lets get into these lyrics!

You wrote your name in invisible ink For you were so afraid of what they might think But the scars they left, they were loud and clear Weren't they? Weren't they?

Oof oof oof. This speaks to both Alex and Michael hiding parts of who they are, and to the abuse they both suffered throughout their lives. 

When it's too much to bare, memories erase A disappearing act, deserving of our thanks When it surfaces, just hold your breath And swim, just swim

Just thinking about how we have yet to really see Alex deal with his trauma from childhood and from overseas, and we’ve seen Michael avoiding a lot of his trauma but not really confronting it and I am really hoping season 3 will dig more into that for both of them. I would looooove to see them actually breaking down and helping build each other back up. I like the imagery here of holding your breath and swimming against those memories that can make you feel like you’re drowning. (It also sparks that Finding Nemo connotation that helps lift the weight a little by making it a more fun reminder) From the How It’s Made again, “that lyric refers to our incredible, but dangerous human ability to shut down the things that hurt us so deeply- a defense mechanism that goes back through our darkest memories and covers them up from our consciousness. which is perhaps, in someways, a gift that we are able to turn off those unspeakable things and build up strength in order to process it in a healthy way.. but it's so dangerous too because those swallowed memories build and build without us knowing, which can take a serious tole on our health and wellbeing”

You begged and begged for some kind of change Maybe they'd wake up tomorrow and regret the pain That they've passed down to you like DNA But no luck, no luck

Oh god, I can’t. This hits right in those Alex feels and him wondering if the stroke Jesse had maybe “fix” whatever made him hate Alex, and I am just a blubbering mess right now. I’m also absolutely broken thinking about tiny, fragile, baby Alex and baby Michael being hurt by adults who were supposed to care for them, and Michael looking at the stars and begging for someone from home to come and rescue him. 😭😭😭😭😭  

It seems only by the hand of God or death Will they truly change their silhouettes For a miracle or a consequence You wait and wait

This is probably my favorite line in this song. I can’t really tell you why, just that it strikes a chord in my soul, and the imagery is beautiful. And thinking back to how Jesse died, trying again to hurt Alex and Michael and how after all this time, they were there to witness the consequence of his choices, and how in the end, it didn’t erase what he had done. 

Maybe distance is the only cure? Far away from hurt is where healing occurs But all you really want to do is make them proud Don't you? Don't you?

This gets me in my Lost Decade Alex feels and him trying to be The Best to prove a point to his dad, and how he was able to get that distance and pull himself together into this ice cold military man and how that persona crumbles when he’s back in Roswell. And how Michael never got the chance to have that distance and how he is still so deeply in that hurt. Okay, now I am really hoping that Michael left Roswell during the (frankly ridiculous and I will never not roll my eyes about) 1 year time jump to get some space and some chance at healing.

It must be so hard, in the mess you're always cleaning up To believe in the ghost of unbroken love But I promise you The truth is that you're loved, so loved You're loved, so loved

😭😭😭 So many thoughts and feelings about Michael cleaning up the mess with Rosa and taking the blame for all that and hiding what happened to his hand and who was involved, and Alex researching Project Shepherd and Caulfield and trying to make sure Michael (and Isobel and Max) stay safe and off the military’s radar, and about them fighting over the Lost Decade and having to pick up the pieces alone each time and how much they both want love but do not trust the love they are getting from family/friends is unconditional. This song breaks me but those last lines always bring back that spark of hope. This song is like having a good cry when you really needed to, and someone you love sitting with you and wrapping you in a blanket and a hug and reminding you that they love you when you’re done. This is what Ryan does best, he leads you to a complete breakdown but in a way that makes your soul feel a little more healed at the end.