#but also bc now I'm feeling lightheaded on and off
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my life is naught but a cycle of *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that'll go away on its own* *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that nothing will come of that for a long time* *hopes that's n
#personal#like one of my ongoing concerns is some tooth stuff I should probably see a dentist about#some back and hand stuff that would probably be improved by less time in the desk chair and more time doin stretches#but the one of the past half hour is uh#slightly gross so feel free not to read. like this is just a vent post really#but I felt a lump in uhhhh a sensitive area#one that I don't think is a standard area of acne for most people? not that I've discussed it w people but#it is an area I've gotten acne in for sure#but it felt. uh. a lil different ig#it burst kinda like a pimple. but I'm paranoid#not only bc it was big and in a weird area#but also bc now I'm feeling lightheaded on and off#could be unrelated. just seems weird that i only started feeling faint after bursting that thang and like#even if they're unrelated and being faint will pass. I still feel a mass under there#god I hope it's just acne brewing#I'm already behind on work just on account of being fucking incapable of doing anything but Fuck All#can't really afford a medical issue rn#I mean in a financial sense I can afford it it's fine we got the nhs#it's just that I do not know how to book doctor's appointment and I'm living w my parents#so I'd have to tell them about it and aaaaaaaahhhhhh#so it had damn well better go away#be nothing. or else 👊#my body shouldn't play these games of chicken with me I'll let us die to avoid being an inconvenience motherfucker#update from like an hour or two later: it's already starting to go away. the power of Not Worrying About It
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tvhsleb3ww · 8 months ago
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HUSBAND OIKAWA HCS OMAGHAUSHSHD
husb!oikawa who helps you do the taxes and puts his glasses on and brings a calculator only for him to get bored after 20 minutes and whines when you don't give him attention
husb!oikawa who is your plus one to any events your office is doing and your female coworkers gawking over him only for him to show off his ring before wrapping an arm around your waist, swiftly saying "i'm taken, ladies" with a smug smirk
husb!oikawa who panics and screams whenever he thinks he lost his wedding ring bc he can't wear it in games!
husb!oikawa who ties the ring to a necklace so he can wear it during games, he'll also give the ring a kiss before any serve
husb!oikawa who watches horror movies w you, expecting for you to hide your face in his chest from the jumpscares and he can act all tough and cool by protecting you from said jumpscares— only for him to be the one hiding in the crook of your neck when watching them
husb!oikawa who picks you up from the bar that you and your coworkers went to bc he doesn't trust anyone on returning you home when you're drunk as a sailor
husb!oikawa who makes hangover seaweed soup along with some hot chocolate when you wake up all lightheaded bc of the drinks you had and nags you for drinking too much
husb!oikawa who will reserve you a VIP seat for his games and will shamelessly kiss you in front of the whole crowd, he could also shamelessly make out w you too but that would earn him a smack
husb!oikawa who gets upset when you can't go with him to his overseas games because of your work, muttering a "you can be a housewife instead, yknow!! I'll be the source of income!!" which he got smacked for because you didn't work your ass for a degree just to be a housewife
husb!oikawa who'd act all tough and nonchalant when both of you have a fight and he's lying on the couch with crossed arms but in reality he's thinking about the fight and he hates getting into arguements with you
husb!oikawa who will beg you to listen to his explanation bc he doesn't wanna go to sleep with you being mad at him
husb!oikawa who just grins and wiggles his eyebrows at you whenever your parents start asking for grandchildren when you both come over to visit
husb!oikawa who will not show up to work if you're sick and will take care of you
husb!oikawa who whines when his mother and his older sister treats you like their own family to the point they forget about him (he's actually happy that the important women in his life get along)
husb!oikawa who has an ID photo of you in his wallet and has a polaroid of both of you on your wedding day in his clear phone case
husb!oikawa who comments on ALL your instagram posts and shares it on his story. he will also reply to every men in the comments section that dares to flirt with you
husb!oikawa who always has a hand on one of your boobs when he's sleeping because he says it's comfy! (he just wants to feel something soft)
husb!oikawa who spoils you rotten and sends bouquets to your office on a weekly basis
THATS ALL FOR NOW KEKE
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sanguineterrain · 1 year ago
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PLS PLS PLS I'm begging you for the play fighting prompt omgggg sanne I'll love you forever (I already do but that's besides the point)
lmfao I am so embarrassed by this 🫣🫣 totally exposing myself right now but whatevs. hope u like it aud (and others). i haven't written smut in a looong time so. baring my soul rn 🫠
jason todd x fem!reader. warnings: smut, playfighting, roughness (?), sprinkle of dumbification (no one look at me), dom jason but also kinda service top jason, fingering, praise, and CONSENT! bc we consent orally here, sir. 18+ only minors get OUT (you shouldn't be here anyway!!!)
heh. anyway. crawling back under my rock now.
****
"Do you think I could take you down?"
Jason raises his eyebrows at you from over his book.
"Come again?"
"Like in that demonstration Kory and Dick did today. Do you think I could do to you what she did to Dick?"
Jason chuckles, setting his book down.
"Baby, I hate to break it to you, but I think Kory's a little more practiced in combat than you are."
"So you don't believe in me. Wow. Some boyfriend you are."
"Of course I believe in you," he says. "She is a space princess, though."
You shake your head and pluck the book from Jason's hands. You make a point of sliding the bookmark in before you close it. Jason squints at you.
You wait approximately a quarter of a second before you leap forward, straddling Jason's chest. He makes a hup sound as you land, and you lift your chin victoriously.
"I got you," you say.
Jason nods, smile widening. "You got me, sweetheart."
"No, I don't. C'mon, fight back, Jay."
His eyes glitter as he studies you. Then he picks up both of your thighs and swings you both off of the couch. You land with him hovering over you, not even holding any part of you down. His hand is underneath your head to cushion the impact.
You huff. You know Jason can do better than this; you've watched him take down fifteen men in less than five minutes.
You lift your head, mouth parted in expectation. Jason understands immediately and happily complies, kissing you warmly.
You take the chance to hook your leg over his hip and throw him off balance. His hand wobbles enough to tell you that he genuinely hadn't been expecting that. Jason rolls on his side, absorbing the impact. You pounce.
"What's gotten into you?" he asks, smirking as you crawl onto him.
"You're holding back," you say, pinning his wrists down.
Jason looks at you mildly. "I told you I believe in you. You got me, baby."
He could break out of your hold instantly. Even if you were matched in strength and size, Jason has years of experience on you.
Something in your brain goes quiet and gooey at the thought. It fades as quickly as it comes.
"Play with me for real," you urge. "Show me some moves."
Jason presses his lips together. "You sure?"
You nuzzle his cheek, scruff scratching you.
"I'm sure. I trust you, Jay. C'mon, show me what you got."
He laughs, unbearably fond, and crosses his legs around your waist. You lose your grip on his wrists in the next moment, and you end up on your back. Again, Jason doesn't let you feel the full impact that he'd unleash on an opponent. He holds your shoulders when you go down to avoid thumping your head on the carpet.
Your breath still knocks around in your chest, though. The lightheaded feeling returns. You shift, pretending like you're adjusting underneath Jason.
"I can show you how to do that if you want," he says, and it's oddly sweet.
Your eyes narrow. Jason tilts his head, immediately suspicious.
"What're you planning, minx?" he asks.
"What do you mean? I'm perfectly innocent."
"Yeah, sure. I see the gears turning up there." He taps your forehead.
"Whatever, weirdo," you say, and push at his chest. "Let me up."
Jason practically scoops you up into a standing position. You busily dust yourself off even though he vacuumed last week. Jason's apartment is always spotless.
Right when you think he's distracted, you go in for the final attack. You launch yourself in his direction, putting all your weight into the advance.
At first, Jason's thrown off. Briefly, the thought that Jason feels so safe around you that he isn't on constant alert crosses your brain, and you melt at the realization.
Then he gets this glint in his eye, and squares his hips, and another feeling overtakes you entirely. He assesses you quickly, and the two of you push against each other for a few seconds. Just long enough for you to witness the emergence of a different side of Jason.
"My girl plays dirty, huh?" he says, voice pitched low.
Your head spins with how fast it happens. You've unlocked something, it seems, by trying to ambush Jason. He locks both of your wrists into his left hand, spins you around, and splays his right hand over your lower belly. Breath squeaks from your throat. Jason doesn't often remind you of your and his acute physical differences, but his large palm cupping your belly, fingers dangerously close to your waistband, reminds you that your boyfriend is at the top of the food chain when it comes to survival.
If he wanted to take you down, he could. That fact sears deliciously in your brain.
Then Jason goes in for the final blow. He pulls you in by your belly while also wedging his thigh between your legs. His ankle hooks yours, and you feel your balance topple as he pushes and pulls you.
You land on your stomach, Jason's hands still on you, and more than a little of his weight holding you down.
You throb underneath the pajama shorts you never changed out of.
All your air pistons out of you when you hit the ground, resulting in an embarrassing catch between a whine and a wheeze.
Jason's grip slackens immediately.
"Shit, baby, you okay? I'm so—"
"Ngh, Jay."
Jason freezes. His grip tightens, just firm enough to make your head go fuzzy again. His breath is hot against your ear when he speaks.
"Oh," he coos, and now you can feel nearly all of his body weight on you. His thigh is between your legs but only to keep them separated. There is no friction against your pussy, you clench around nothing.
"You like that, pretty? Like a little weight on ya?"
"Jay," you pant, wiggling underneath him. "Jay, please."
"Too much?" he asks, and the check-in just makes you wetter.
"No, n-no, want more. Guh—Jay—"
He laughs, a little cruel, a lot pleased.
"Fuck, honey. If y'wanted this, y'could've asked. Feels good, huh? Lighter? Too much on that quick brain of yours; y'need a break, don't cha?"
You've never felt like this before. You'd be seconds away from humping Jason's thigh if you could move.
"Jay, Jay—"
"Oh-oh, I know, sweet. You put up a good fight. Couldn't believe it was my girl, fightin' like that. What happened at that last part, hm? Your pretty head go empty?"
You whine, squirming as much as you can under Jason's weight. He hums.
"Didn't know how easy you get with a little weight on you. Poor baby, gotta keep your wits about you when all you want is to gush all over my thigh. You gushing yet?"
His fingers on your belly slip past your shorts, past your underwear, finally landing where you want them most. Jason gives your pussy sweet, little pets. He parts your folds, shallowly dipping his middle finger, just enough to make you clench.
"Jason, please," you beg, trying to chase his fingers.
"You wanted to play, right?"
You don't say anything, mind hot and cloudy like you've got a fever. Jason pinches your clit, just hard enough to make you jolt.
"Did the words leave you that fast, sweetheart? I've barely done anything. C'mon, you can do it. You're usually such a smart mouth. What happened?"
"Empty," you manage to say. "'M empty, Jay. Needa feel full."
"Oh, good girl," he purrs, two fingers diving into you pussy. You keen. "Good fucking girl. I can keep you full, don't you worry about that, pretty."
His fingers inside of you sound obscene. You might be embarrassed if you weren't on another planet right now.
"God, you're so wet," Jason says, and he genuinely sounds awed. "Little clit's so hard, I bet you can barely think. No wonder you're so dumb right now. Do I even have to do anything? I bet you'd just hump my thigh till you come."
His hand slips out of your pussy and you protest loudly, thrashing and gasping. Jason hushes you.
"Ah-ah, what happened to my good girl? Know all the blood from your brain rushed to your clit, but you gotta be patient, pretty. You think I'd leave you hanging? Be a crime to leave y'wet and aching."
He pulls your shorts and underwear down in one go, then lifts your hips up, slotting his thick thigh right up against your hot cunt. You immediately start to rub against him, out of your mind with the need to come.
Jason laughs. "What'd I say? I take care of my girl, don't I?"
"M-more, touch me, rub my clit," you pant out, nipples dragging almost painfully under your shirt. The carpet bites at your tits even through the fabric, especially now that Jason's given you room to ride his thigh.
You're still one hundred percent trapped beneath him, his weight pinning you down. Your arms remained locked behind your back.
"Mm. A little bossy, but I like you asking for what you want," Jason says, leaning down to nip at your shoulder.
His hand returns to your now bare pussy, and his middle finger quickly finds your clit. He swipes it a few times, then sucks his fingers into his mouth. You hear him lick them clean before he dives back in, now zeroed in on making you come.
It doesn't take long. You moan loud and long when your pleasure reaches its peak, Jason relentlessly working you over. You squeeze hard around his thigh when you come, brain syrupy and light.
"Oh, fuck, God. Look at you, yeah. That's my girl. Feel better?" he rasps, hovering over you.
You don't have time to reply before Jason flips you over, holding you down like that. He's hard, and his eyes are wild, a beautiful, blazing teal. He looms over you, and you feel inexplicably hunted.
"I think you've got another one in you," he says, pawing at the soft fat of your thigh. "Pretty girl can give me more, right? What'd you say earlier?"
Jason leans in and covers your body with his. The weight on your chest turns your brain to soup.
"Oh, that's right. Show me what you've got."
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chryblossomjjk · 2 years ago
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distractions | jjk
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⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader
⇢ RATING: m/18+
⇢ WC: 1.1k
⇢ WARNINGS: cute couple content, they drop the 'l' word guys, n*pple piercings n sucking bc u know... fixation lmao, v suggestive but no actual sm*t, finger sucking lol, the love is requited :')
⇢ SUMMARY: jungkook agreed to let you do his makeup, but he can't stop getting distracted.
⇢ NOTES: ugh i missed them dearly!! will be putting out more drabbles soon, but i'm currently trying to focus on my other wip!! i haven't posted anything in so long so i wanted to share this with you guys! school n work is hectic i already feel swamped pls be patient with me :') i miss having time for a hobby lmao!! anyways, i hope you enjoy and let me know ur thoughts! love u <3 also apologize if there's any typos or weirdness, this wasn't beta'd!! if you haven't read practice yet, pls read before this!!
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⇢ SERIES MASTERLIST
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“Kook, look up! How many times do I have to tell you?” 
Four months into the relationship and his attention span, or lack thereof, never ceased to amaze you. With a frustrated groan, you place the pointy end of your Sailor Moon brush between your teeth before gripping his chin and turning his wandering gaze back to you. 
“Bambi, I’m looking up!” He yell-laughs, doe-eyes wide and sarcastic as they bear into you, equally frustrated. You can already see the concealer you applied just a few minutes ago creasing. Dramatically, he karate chops his tattooed arm towards the ceiling, paralleling your scantily clad frame straddling him. The sudden jump has you shifting against his crotch deliciously. Now’s not the time for fooling around, though. You’re determined to put the cute brush set Jungkook randomly gifted you a few weeks back to good use, starting with giving your sweet boyfriend a full beat. “This is up! What other direction is up?”
What an asshole. 
You pop the pink plastic out of your mouth, taking an annoyed chomp out of his annoying fingers. It's playful, of course. You mean, you’ve just got done with a whitening strip, after all…
Jungkook takes the opportunity to shove his digits further past your glossy lips, reaching down just enough to feel your throat constrict, then pulling back. He stares up at you with the cheesiest fucking grin, clearly pleased with himself.
“You’re mean,” you cough, wiping the drool at the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand.
“No you,” he counters, pinching your cheek patronizingly. “I love you, though.”
One month into the lovey-dovey phase of the relationship; that one where the initial butterflies fly away and you’re left feeling like ‘wow, maybe this is a forever sort of thing,’ and you still feel lightheaded every time Jungkook murmurs those three words.
“I love you, too,” you coo, reaching down to adjust his teddy-bear headband. Jungkook’s been growing his hair out. This was his last semester and he was determined to go out with a bang. For whatever reason, he had decided that bang was a mullet. You remember how confused you were when he showed up at your dorm at 3am, drunk off Fireball and excitement, asking you to cut his hair. You thought the request was outlandish and foolish, but you did it anyway, in your bathroom with eyebrow scissors. It came out a teeny bit crooked, and a tiny bit choppy, but Jungkook loved it, staring at his reflection with a big bunny smile and starry eyes. “But baby, this-” you tap on the headboard behind him, “-is up.”
He squints his eyes in defiance before complying. Ah, you’ve trained him well. A very good boy, indeed.
You’ve spoken, or thought, too soon, because after a few swipes of the plush bristles, a high-pitched ‘Appa!’ from your phone, leaning against your Kuromi makeup bag on the nightstand beside you, draws his dark pupils back to the cartoon. 
“That’s it,” you huff like an overwhelmed mother of three, yanking the device out of his sight. “Say goodbye to Aang. You’ve lost your Avatar: The Last Airbender privileges.” 
“C’mon, seriously?” He laughs while lunging forward, attempting to wrestle the phone out of your grasp. Giggling wildly, you toss it on the pink shag rug below you, out of his reach. The movement almost sends you toppling over. Luckily, Jungkook wraps an arm around your waist to keep you steady. “Bambi, you know I’m easily distracted.”
“But you said I could do your makeup,” you pout, batting your lashes at him.
“I know, I-”
“Don’t touch!” You shriek, preventing him from rubbing his eye.
“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes through a chuckle, holding his hands by his head in defense. “Maybe I…” You deadpan him as his eyes scan around the room before, not so subtly, landing on your chest. Cocking his head, he tuts his tongue and grips the hem of your shirt. Shamelessly, he stuffs the nearly transparent material into your mouth, exposing your bare breasts. “There, just like that,” he whispers, warm palms grazing up your torso to cup them, thumbs grazing over your little diamond heart jewelry. You gasp at the touch. “You know, I still can’t believe you actually got ‘em’.” Neither could you, honestly, but if there was one thing Jungkook has taught you, it’s that sometimes, you need to step out of your comfort zone. Take risks. Especially when it results in the cutest little nipple piercings. “So fucking sexy…”
You feel his forming bulge poking against you. God, do you want him. But even Jungkook’s dick couldn’t derail you from the mission at hand. Raising an eyebrow, you lift up the makeup brush.
The tits really seem to keep him preoccupied. With a hand on his cheek, you feel his mouth hollowing, sucking your nipple gingerly as you lean over him and fill in his thick brows. Obviously, it’s a bit hard to focus. Every now and then, you have to tug his hair to redirect his nibbles back down to soft licks. 
“Okay,” you announce, letting the shirt fall from your candy-coated lips and sitting up, “what color?”
Out of the entire thirty-pan rainbow eyeshadow palette you’re holding up for him, he lazily points to the darkest shade in the top color. His favorite color, of course; black. You should’ve known. Your lips scrunch to the side in contemplation. Jungkook would look so yummy with a smokey eye.
So you blend and blend away with blacks, whites, and grays. Shockingly, your boyfriend manages to stay still throughout the entire process. You’re proud of him, really. He’ll definitely get rewarded afterward. And you were right, the final product is absolutely delectable. 
“Baby, your eyelashes are stunning!” You swoon. “And the smokey-eye looks so so so good with your eye shape.”
Silence.
“Jungkook?” You lean forward, gripping his shoulders and shaking softly. Nothing but the sound of faint snores reaches your ears. The little fuck fell asleep. No wonder why he’s been so good. You laugh in disbelief, picking your phone off the floor and snapping a few pictures to show him in the morning. Reaching into your drawer, you take out a couple makeup wipes and start cleaning him up. You loathe makeup wipes and only keep them for emergencies, but Jungkook looks so peaceful that you can’t bring yourself to wake him.
Next, you snuggle beside him with a spare blanket, unable to yank your comforter out from under his thick, muscular thighs. He stirs when you gently pull off his headband. “I love you…” he mumbles, still half asleep. It’s as if the emotion is so ingrained in his subconscious that they bubble to the surface, even when he’s sleepy and incoherent. 
And you feel the same exact way. 
“I love you, Jungkook. Goodnight.”
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© chryblossomjjk 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost]
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heeliopheelia · 1 year ago
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"you know i'm always there for you, right?" (jay x reader)
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genre: comfort fic word count: 0.6k requested by @i-am-confused-about-life ♡
a/n: i'm so down bad for him it's not even funny anymore... also, i hope you guys don't mind another comfort fic bcs i still have one more in the storage!!
masterlist
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At the verge of tears, you shut the door behind you and toe off your shoes. The moment that your gaze lands on your boyfriend who's way too absorbed in some tv show to notice you coming back from work, you let out a relieved sigh. That's enough to break his focus and he turs his head towards your silhouette entering the living room.
"Oh, hey, honey," he greets you, his attention now entirely directed at your pitiful pout. "I haven't heard you come in."
Instead of replying, you drop down on his lap, body instantly curling into his familiar frame, seeking for comfort. Without any questions needed, Jay wraps his arms around you and envelops you with his body warmth. The tears that have been constantly pushing at the back of your eyes for the most of the day finally make their way out, immediately making you feel lighter even with the salty streams running down your cheeks. You close your eyes with a sigh and nuzzle your face into his neck.
The broken sound of your sobs unintentionally breaks Jay's heart in two and he tightens his hold on you. With his hand on the back of your head, he presses your face into his chest until your almost unable to breathe, and yet the gesture brings you all the comfort that you need.
"Do you need anything, princess?" Jay asks quietly when your breathing eventually evens out, rubbing his hands on your back gently.
You shake your head. "No, just you."
Jay hums, leaving a kiss on the side of your head.
"You know I'm always there for you, right? You don't have to talk about it, I just want you to know that."
You nod your head, sniffling as you tighten your arms around his neck. For the entire day you couldn't wait to see him, knowing he's going to understand you like no one else. He's never pushy with asking for any explanations or reasons for your occasional mood drops and yet knows the best way to bring comfort to your heart. Within couple minutes he can shush out all of the anxiety or sadness you've been stuck with for hours, which is just why you love coming back home to his warm arms so much.
You pull away slightly, not too far away, only to look at him with a wobbly smile. Jay's heart squeezes tightly as he notices how your usually so bright eyes now twinkle with sadness, so he lowers his head and brushes his nose against yours gently, using his thumb to wipe the tears away from your cheeks. You close your eyes almost instantly, leaning into his warm hand and letting him caress your skin before he leans in and closes the gap between your lips.
"I love you," you whisper in between the kisses, slightly lightheaded yet never wanting to part with him.
Jay draws out a long kiss on your lips, letting it be slow and deep and just enough to try his best at pouring all of his affection and care on you. And he succeeds at it as you clench your eyes tighter, allowing all of his raw love for you soak you to the bones. You bask in it, all of your walls crumbling down as a pair of his plush lips meets the tip of your nose with a butterfly touch.
"I love you too, angel. So much it's pathetic, really." You let out a small giggle at his words, watching softly as Jay's eyes instantly light up at the sound. With his hands caressing your sides, he presses another kiss to your jawline and grins happily as a smile finally makes its way on your lips. "There's my pretty girl."
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permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk @jaylaxies @yoongspi
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archangeldyke-all · 10 months ago
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thinking ab sev and vampire reader again.. (im obsessed if u cant tell)
what if sevika walked in on vampire reader ranting to their pet bat about how annoying hunting for food can be and their bat seemingly responding back (like understanding what shes saying) ? my asks are literally so odd but like.. i think she'd be so fucking confused LMAOO
thinking about it being a vampire bat also cause.. it just makes sense lol
black reader pleaseee <33
eeeeek im so glad u guys like this little story! i'm gonna combine this with another suggestion i got!
now you know damn well you got us fiending for vampire!reader drinkin sev’s blood….. ohmygod just imagining it is making me giddy. like it feels sososo good but sevika has to pry reader off of her after a few mins bc she’s starting to get a lil lightheaded, and reader thought she’d be able to control herself better but nah 😋
same disclaimer as last time! i'm white, and this is a black reader, so please lmk if i get anything wrong and i'll fix it asap :)
men and minors dni
sevika wakes up to the sound of... squeaking?
she sits up in bed, rubbing her eyes before she stands and quietly pads into the living room.
she's woken up to a lot of strange shit since she started dating you.
you hovering over her and admiring her sleeping face, your cat laying on her head and purring away, you feeding on a rat in the kitchen, various combs and gels and bundles of hair littering the bed as you braid your hair while you wait for her to wake... but this is something new.
you've got the window open, and fluttering back in forth in front of you is a little... bird? sevika squints her eyes. no... not a bird... what is that?
"no i know it's so fucking annoying!" you groan. the squeaking happens again, and sevika furrows her brows, her eyes adjusting to the dark. the squeaking halts, and you stick a finger out, and the little creature comes to latch onto it. "hahaha!" you laugh. "dude, you're hilarious. no-- but have you ever accidentally fed on a poisioned rat?"
the squeaking continues, the little creature adjusting on your finger. sevika blinks again. it's... a bat?? you snort.
"right, you're too small for rats. poisoned mice then?" you ask.
the bat squeaks in response.
sevika shakes her head.
"it's the fucking worst dude! be careful, okay? avoid the slow ones-- it means they're dying from it." the bat squeaks in response and you laugh. "i know they're easier to catch, but you'll get sick!"
"are you talking to a fucking bat right now?" sevika asks. you turn your head, shocked to see her in the doorway. the bat flutters on your finger, its face turning toward you as well. she snorts.
"oh, hey sev." you say. there's a squeak, and you look at your little companion. "my girlfriend, sevika." you say, smiling. the bat squeaks repeatedly, and you laugh. "he wants to know if you're a human." you translate. sevika blinks.
"and he can understand me?" she asks, still frozen in the doorway. you wave her over, and she hesitantly approaches. "babe... that's a fucking rodent. you've got a rodent, in our house." she says. there's an indignant squeak and you gasp.
"he's not a fucking rodent, he eats rodents, don't be rude!" you exclaim. sevika snorts and comes up to your side, warily eyeing your little friend. your bat friend squeaks at her. you chuckle. "i know, right?"
"what'd he say?" she asks. you blink, a guilty look on your face. sevika grins. "c'mon, tell me." she says, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. you sigh.
"he said you smell good. that he should feed off of you."
"hm." she says, looking at you. "and you agree?" she asks.
"no." you say, shaking your head. "i'd get too jealous." you say. sevika snorts, and your bat friend squeaks, and you sigh. "alright, go ahead, but just be safe, okay? and come back next week, i'll get you a proper perch and everything." you say. your bat friend flutters, swooping in a circle before taking off into the night. sevika watches it go, still processing what she's woken up to.
"honestly, i don't think i'm ever gonna get used to all the strange shit you get up to." she mumbles. you giggle, reaching forward to close the window, then turning around to wrap sevika up in your arms.
"you are supposed to be sleeping." you say. sevika smiles.
"can't sleep without my bodyguard." she says. you giggle.
"c'mon back to bed for the two of us. i'll keep watch." you say, dragging sevika toward your bedroom. she doesn't move. you pause, looking back over your shoulder at her. she's smirking. "what?" you ask. she shrugs.
"i smell good, huh?" she asks. you roll your eyes.
"you already knew that, sev." you say. she giggles, pulling you back toward her.
"and you'd get jealous of your little friend?" she asks. you chuckle.
"i would. you're mine." you say, pressing a kiss to her cheek. she grins.
"but... you still haven't fed from me yet." she says.
"sev, not this again." you groan. she chuckles.
"yes, this again." she says. "c'mon, babe, how many times am i gonna have to fuckin' beg you to get those teeth in me?" she asks. you giggle.
"you know why i'm... hesitant." you say. sevika rolls her eyes.
"you think you'll fuckin' drain me." she says. "as if you don't get full on a pint and a half."
"but you're you." you say. "you're... so fucking delicious. in so many ways. i'm already fucking addicted to you, and i haven't even tasted your blood yet."
sevika smiles. "honey." she says, kissing your lips. "i'm yours. for as long as you'll have me--"
"forever." you say, interrupting her. sevika grins, and butterflies flutter in your stomach. you've told her before-- vampires mate for life. and if sevika ever wishes, you've told her time and time again that you'd be honored to change her so she can spend eternity with you. forever.
"exactly." she says. "baby, you know you'll have to bite me to change me." she says. you groan and roll your eyes.
"well, duh." you say. "but that's different--"
"please!" she cries. you blink. "please, babe, i'm fucking dying for it. i wanna... i wanna be the one who makes you warm. want it to be my blood pumpin' through you, giving you life. at least for a few years, before we gotta hunt together, yeah?" she asks, blinking at you with big eyes.
you gulp. sevika always manages to catch you off guard with the stupidly romantic shit she says to you. your hands are shaking at your sides, and your fangs are begging to descend from your gums. "sev--"
"and i don't give a fuck about your vampire strength, i could still take you in a fight. so if you drink too much i'll just shove you off!" she says.
"sevi--"
"c'mon baby please! i want it so bad--"
"sevika!" you laugh. she blinks. "fine." you say.
"fine?" she asks.
"let's... let's do it." you say, grinning. she blinks, then bursts into laughter.
"really!?" she asks. you chuckle and swoop forward to kiss her lips. she moans against you, wrapping her arms around your hips. she pulls away with a gasp, grinning at you. "where should we do it? should i set down towels? do i need to do like, a detox or something? or should i be drunk so you can get drunk too?" she asks, speaking at a mile a minute. your smile only grows, until your cheeks are aching.
"baby--"
"shit, this is so fucking exciting. i've been waiting for mont--"
"sevika!" you interrupt her again, reaching up to put a finger over her lips. she blinks at you, giddy. "take me to bed, babe." you say. sevika gulps and then nods.
you've got her sprawled out beneath you, her hands gripping your hips as she squirms under you. she's already looking at you with hazy, love-drunk eyes, and you haven't even bitten her yet. you grin down at her.
"you're sure?" you ask. sevika groans.
"baby-- please!" she whines. "i'm-- i can't-- if you make me wait any longer i'm gonna fucking die!" she wails. you laugh.
"you're not gonna die."
"yes i am!" she says, hysterically, reaching up to grab your head and pull it down toward her neck. you squeal.
"sev!" you laugh, dodging her neck to press your lips against hers. this satiates her a bit, and she stops squirming enough to hum against your mouth.
"i love you." she whispers against your lips. you smile.
"i love you too." you say. "i've never..." you trail off, and sevika blinks up at you.
"never what?" she asks.
"i've never done this with someone who i wasn't trying to kill. or wasn't blackout drunk." you say. she smirks.
"so, i'm your first?" she asks. you roll your eyes.
"shut up."
"fuck." she shivers. "if it makes you feel any better, you're poppin' my vampire cherry too." she grins. you groan.
"shut up!"
"why don't you make me?" she asks, lifting up her chin, baring her throat to you. you shiver on top of her.
"if it hurts--"
"i'll tell you." she says.
"i--" you trail off, gulping. you can see the pulse under her skin, you can hear her heartbeat. you lick your teeth, and your fangs descend. sevika gasps.
"fuck that's hot." she whispers. you bite your cheek.
"i love you." you whisper. she smiles up at you.
"i love you t-- oh!" she gasps as you duck down dragging your teeth against the tender flesh of her neck. you nip and kiss against it, darting your tongue out to lick against her pulse point. she whimpers. "b-baby." she whines. you hum against her. "plea--" she doesn't get the chance to finish.
you sink your fangs into her throat, groaning as the first drop of her blood hits your tongue.
sevika jolts underneath you, her hands clawing into your hips, gasping as the pain wracks through her body. you quickly push your saliva against your puncture wound, and groan in satisfaction as sevika's body relaxes beneath you as pleasure of begins to enter her system.
once she's relaxed, you retract your teeth, then purse your lips around the two puncture wounds and begin sucking.
sevika tastes like heaven. ambrosia. liquid fucking gold.
you moan against her neck, suddenly fucking ravenous as you gulp down mouthful after mouthful of her blood.
beneath you, sevika's encouraging you. the sweet little whimpers and whines she's letting out make you fucking dizzy, and when she starts squeezing her thighs together you groan.
you quickly adjust on top of her, snaking your hand down her body and into her pants. sevika gasps.
"please!" she begs. you chuckle against her, and slip your fingers down to begin working against her clit in gentle, slow circles. a full body shudder wracks through her body. "f-fuck baby, holy shit." she whimpers. you hum against her. "you're never feeding from anyone else ever again. ever. shit! fu-fuck me, please fuck me-- feels so fucking good."
you groan, a drip of her blood escaping your mouth, trickling down your chin. you shove your hands further down her pants, soaking your fingers with her arousal before teasing against her hole. she's pulsing against your finger tips, in time with the roaring beat of her heart.
you groan again, and sink two fingers inside of her to the hilt, unable to control yourself enough to be gentle. sevika doesn't seem to mind, if anything, she seems to fucking love it.
"yeah, yeah, yeah, baby, shit! you're the best thing that's ever fuckin' happened to me, oh fuck!" she groans. you shiver on top of her, your fingers slamming in and out of her cunt, pressing against her spongy g-spot on every thrust.
you can barely make it out over the strong beat of her heart, the heavy breaths you're taking through your nose, the clicking of your throat as you gulp her down-- but sevika's cunt is fucking squelching, and her arousal is soaking her pajama pants and your fingers.
you're-- you're so fucking drunk on her. you've never felt this good during a feed, ever. even when you drain an entire body, even when you're killing an abuser and he's screaming in pain beneath you, even when you're drinking from a drunkard's neck and the warmth of the alcohol is settling in your veins. this is heaven.
"i'm gonna--" sevika doesn't finish her sentence, cumming around your fingers with a scream. "baby!" she wails. you don't stop fucking her, you just growl against her neck and continue pounding into her cunt.
she's shivering beneath you, her hands clawing into your hips. you're sure you'll have bruises tomorrow, but you don't give a shit.
your cunt's pulsing in your own pants, and you start to grind down on sevika's thigh. she just squeaks-- completely overwhelmed.
"b-babe--" sevika mutters. you groan against her. "i'm gonna cum again, shit-- cum with me, please, you feel so fucking good, i'm so fucking in love with you, oh my god i love you, i love you i love you i love yo-- ah fuck!" she cries, cumming again, her cunt clenching around your fingers hard enough for your knuckle bones to crush against each other.
you groan and cum against her thigh, shaking and nearly hyperventilating on her neck with how hard you're heaving breaths to keep drinking from her.
sevika grabs your wrist, and you pull your fingers out of her cunt, shooting your hand up to shove them down her throat. she groans around your fingers and you chuckle against her neck, and sevika sighs the prettiest little sigh you've ever heard come from her lips beneath you.
"shit, honey." she garbles around your fingers. you hum, and sevika grunts. "sh-shit."
suddenly, sevika's hand comes up to grab your hair by the roots, pulling you away from her neck. you blink down at her, suddenly aware of your surroundings now that her blood's not filling your mouth.
"are you--"
"lightheaded." she mumbles, grinning up at you. you giggle, bending back down to lick at her wounds, waiting until the blood stops flowing before pressing a kiss against her throat.
you continue to trail kisses up her neck, over her jaw, until you meet her lips. she hums against you, and you grin.
"are you okay?" you ask. she giggles like she's high.
"i'm fucking amazing." she whispers. you giggle.
"you're suffering from severe blood loss."
"i'm in love with you. let's get married."
you burst into laughter, feeling warm and satiated and so fucking in love with the woman beneath you.
"okay." you say. sevika's eyes widen.
"fuck, really?" she asks, grinning. you shrug.
"ask me again in the morning when you've got your red blood cell count back up and you've got yourself a deal." you say. "but-- once you start gettin' old i'm turning you." you say. "you sure you wanna do eternity tied to me?" you ask. she grins.
"i'm gonna miss bein' your bloodbag once i'm a vampire." she says. you giggle.
"you did it once!"
"we're doin' it every day from now until you turn me." she says, smiling up at you. you laugh.
"i'm not that hungry!"
"i don't give a fuck, we're doin' it for me!" she says. you grin, then duck down to kiss her again. she sighs against your lips.
"i love you." you say. sevika smiles.
"i love you too. i've never been so happy to have a stalker before." she says. you giggle.
"stay here, i'm gonna get you some orange juice." you say as you float above her body. you feel fucking amazing, full of life and magic. sevika smiles up at you.
"come back quick. i miss you already."
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki
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peachsayshi · 1 year ago
Note
deadass started reading ‘the way you love me’ after seeing the news abt gojo and i ended up pulling an all-nighter on it 🧍‍♀️ i wasnt intending on smut I just happened upon it bc of the ‘gojo satoru needs a hug’ tag on ao3 but now im a little bit obsessed and i just wanted to pass along a hug of support to a fellow gojo luvr<3 and also ask if u could maybe write something bittersweet with him bc im still grieving immensely.. can be canon compliant or an au or a lil fix-it blurb i just need to feel Something JSJSJD …..💔💔
➳  minors / ageless / blank blogs dni /this blog is 20+ for follows
⥽ notes: nonniee!! ahhh, first off I'm sending you such a big hug after reading the leaks (because it's what we all deserve right now).I love this string bean so much :c he's the reason why I started writing fanfics again :c thank you so much for taking the time to read my gojo fic! I really appreciate the feedback & support xo here's a little bittersweet blurb xo
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags: angst/fluff; canon doesn't exist here; in which gojo wins but at a cost; reader has a little anxiety; in which you are both healing together; mentions gojo as a dad; manga spoilers
the image of him on the ground, tattered up like a torn up doll, has your body springing upright from your mattress. your legs go numb as your throat tightens with a discomfort that has you struggling to catch your breath from witnessing the soul of your lover descending into an unknown abyss where you couldn’t follow.
why did he look so real?
the visual sends tremors down your spine, making your heart bang heavily in your chest as your ears ring. you instantly reach for him; your hand desperately seeking out his warmth, but instead your are met with the cold touch of your pillow.
the space beside you is empty, and your heart whispers a low, and petrified: no.
you kick off your bedsheets to stand on your two feet and even though the abrupt gesture makes you a little lightheaded, you catch your balance as you swiftly walk out of your bedroom.
it’s just a dream…
one quick turn to the kitchen is where you find him.
you reach your arm around to pinch your skin just to make sure that you are awake...
...that everything around is what is real.
gojo angles his neck towards you, his gaze softening at the sight of you and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.
"I thought you were asleep," he addresses, the gentle tone of his voice prompting you to march right up to him.
the front of his brows pinch with concern when you reach for his tee and bury your nose into his chest to breathe in the cozy scent of spice and citrus.
a scent that always smells of coming home, of safety, of love...
hot tears prick your eyes; it was just a bad dream, you remind yourself, just a bad dream.
you tilt your chin up, sighing with ease when you meet those familiar irises, all the while thinking that he's still as breathtaking as ever.
you love that he's letting his hair grow out, the snowy length just grazing the base of his neck while the shorter, front layers frame his face nicely.
it's cute seeing him experiment with different looks in this very new process of self discovery - a stage which he was robbed from entirely in his youth.
his once striking, prominent eyes are now soft and muted, a hint of grey glazing over the sparkling blue. the tear in his right pupil reminds of you of that fateful night three years ago, when the weight of the world hung heavily on the broad shoulders of the man before you.
his perfect hands return the gesture of your touch as they seek out your waist, and the simple contact makes your lashes flutter with relief.
he may no longer be the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, the possessor of six eyes, the untouchable with an infinity that garnered his protection...but he is still forever your satoru.
the last three years had you counting every single blessing, with the roots of your happiness blooming all over your home. it's in the gold band that sits comfortably around your ring finger, in every single photograph which has been thoughtfully framed and the bundle of joy sleeping quietly in her bed just down the hall.
yet, despite all of is, you can't shake off the vile cursed king who haunts you like a ghost, especially when you think about the true cost of that battle. if things had taken a turn for the worse then the last three years wouldn't even exist, and everything around you would have been a simple fabrication-
"hey," gojo squeezes your waist to grab your attention, a worried pout forming on his pretty pink lips, "why do you look so upset, angel?"
you swallow the hard lump that's been stuck in your throat since you've woken up. "I had a really bad dream," you proceed to explain, but your voice wavers instantly as a single tear trickles down your cheek, "I had a dream that I...that I lost you..."
your husband arches his brow, but you feel him relax against your touch as a cheeky grin lights up his face. "but I'm right here" he teases with a playful tone that instantly triggers you to feign annoyance.
"Ugh, obviously, satoru..." you scold, gripping your digits against the material of his shirt.
you try to pull away from him, but he simply secures his arms behind your lower back to keep you looped into his frame.
you don't deny the comfort of his embrace, and instead fold by circling your own limbs around his waist as you rest your cheek against his chest.
"I meant losing you for good, as in...never seeing you again..."
"ahh, I see..." your husband acknowledges.
"it scared me, satoru. it really did," you vent with a tiny sniffle. “I thought you were really gone for a moment…”
he draws small, soothing circles with his index finer on your lower back, allowing you to hold onto him for as long as you need while you softly let out your small sobs as the quiet settles around you.
“I can promise you one thing..."
"what's that?"
he releases you for only a moment to cup your cheeks. his face is full of love, showered with devotion that helps wash away your distress. he carefully wipes the rogue tears that fall from your beautiful eyes, before arching forward to tap the tip of his nose against yours.
"you're not getting rid of me that easily" he smiles tenderly and lightly pecks your lips.
his words are laced with confidence, dripping with a strong level of assurance that only satoru gojo can deliver.
it’s lighthearted but full of meaning, because the last time he said that sentence was right before walking into battle.
you curl your fingers around his wrist, parting your mouth this time when he searches for a second kiss. your ears burn when he firms his hold on your jaw, a low flame igniting in your belly as he glides his tongue across yours and releases a satisfied hum in the process.
the kiss is a little extra sweet tonight, like you're savoring the saccharine syrup of the ripest candied berries-
"hmph, 'toru?" you mumble into the kiss, your mind slowly leaving the shrouds of darkness as you rest your forehead comfortably against his. "were you…were you eating the treats that I got for 'ume?"
"what?" he dramatically scoffs in disbelief, "no..."
"satoru..." you reprimand.
"you really think I snuck out here just to eat izumi's candy?"
a tiny giggle escapes you, "you taste like I'm biting into sugar granules..."
"that's cause I'm made of only good things, sweetheart" he smiles as he nuzzles his nose against yours.
for whatever reason that answer brings you immense comfort. despite how much of him has actually changed, you're happy to know that satoru is still himself in many, many other ways.
"I now see where our daughter gets her exceptionally cute charm from," you concede with a roll of your eyes.
"mhmm," satoru agrees with a level of pride that makes your heart swell.
you know just how much that little girl means to him.
he straightens his back, his hand still cradling your face as he calmly strokes his thumb back and forth over your cheek. "feeling a bit better?"
you exhale, "yeah, a little-"
"you want to head back to bed?"
you nod your head, tilting it only slightly for you to kiss the inside of his palm.
“c’mon, let’s get you tucked in”
you’re not quick to let him go just yet, and satoru has to fight back from smiling like an idiot when you lock your arms around his waist.
he stays entangled, draping his own across your shoulder as he leads you back into the bedroom.
you don’t have to tell him where the source of your pain stems from.
he knows it all too well himself.
as a matter of fact, it’s now ingrained at the very core of satoru's soul because even he can’t deny the severity of what happened.
that night stripped him of everything he's ever known, of everything he’s ever believed himself to be…
but he doesn't care about the loss. he doesn’t mull over the depths of his sacrifice when the exchange of his divinity for his mortality meant the reward of living out the rest of his life with his one true love by his side.
it’s a decision he would have made a thousand times over.
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juicefield · 2 years ago
Text
Meyp Skxawng - Neteyam X Avatar!Reader Part 2
A/N: I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter. I don’t celebrate, but I can appreciate a good ham. This is set after avatar 2, both reader and Neteyam are 20. This is set in high camp, bc I said so. This is also not set as far in the future as it is in cannon, for reasons. Also no NSFW (the Hoes Not gonna love this :/). I didn't edit this as thoroughly as part 1, so let me know if you find any egregious mistakes.
You can find the other parts here:
Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4
Although the writing in this fanfiction is my own, I do not claim any  ownership of Avatar, Avatar: The Way of Water, or any of the subsequent medias. All rights go to James Cameron and the producers. 
Synopsis: You experience a new body for the first time, and have never felt freer. Luckily, you have great friends to revel in your newfound joy with.
Neteyam X Fem!Avatar!Reader 8.9k 1st person POV
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"Aw... damn. It didn't work." I mumble quietly, raising my hand to block the offensive brightness. Slowly I blink against the harsh light, trying to block it with my hand. I can practically feel my pupils expanding all too fast, trying to stop the influx of light causing me to be lightheaded. When I turn my head I see Max in a mask hovering above me. I see his mouth moving but I can't understand what he's saying at first. The blood rushes in my ears, louder than it ever has before. 
"... hear me, kiddo?" Is all I catch as I realize Max was the one shining the offensively bright light in my eyes. 
"Yeah, yeah I hear you." I say, loud enough for him to hear me this time. "It... didn't work." I said to him, my words sounding slurred almost because my tongue is so dry. His face looked amused, which really confused me. Why would he find this funny? This is horrible? Finally he relents and puts the LED flashlight down, instead picking up a small hand held mirror.
"Yes, kiddo, it did." Max says, holding up the mirror. As I gaze at its reflective surface I see the body from yesterday staring back at me. Snapping out of my tired state I sit up; entirely too quickly as blood rushes to my head and makes me feel light headed but does nothing to curb my happiness. Max fusses at me but I dismiss him with a wave of my hand, insisting that I'm fine. While marveling at the modern science I reach up to touch it’s- I mean my- face.
"Oh. My. God." I say when my fingertips make contact with the warm surface. I saw her eyes widen at the same time mine did and I couldn't help the sound of surprise that escaped me. "Max! Norm! We did it! We fucking did it!" I said turning to Max with the biggest smile I've ever had. I was smiling so hard that I could feel the unused muscles of my face stretching tentatively. The dull ache from the use only sends more excitement through me, that must mean everything is working the way it’s supposed to.
"No, you did it. You were so brave, sweetheart." A voice I recognized as Norm called out from my right. I feel my ears swivel towards him and marvel at the strange new feeling of having moving ears, of the new muscles I’ve never had before. Stretching sinew that feels too strong to be mine. I reach out for his shoulder and suddenly I notice how big I am. My hand nearly takes up his whole shoulder as I try to gently squeeze him in reassurance. Norm lets out a grunt of pain and ducks to move his shoulder away, rubbing it and wincing.
"You just woke up so you can't really tell how strong you are, but you were a lot more gentle than Jake when he woke up. So don't worry." He says when he sees a look of pain flit across my new face. Before I can even utter an apology he continues, cutting me off. "Now c'mon it's time for a few tests and we'll get you some clothes to wear." 
"It sucks, but the only thing that will fit you is some of Norm’s old clothes that his avatar got too big for." Max said as he entered the room again before I had even realized that he left my side. They pester and prod me while I answer a few questions to ensure that the transfer went as well as we think. They barrage me with a litany of fine motor control tests before they take all the IVs and monitors off of me. By the time they end I am grumbling and practically electrically charged with energy, far too ready to get up and run for the first time in years. Realistically I know that it will take a bit of time to build up to running and sprinting, but I am very tempted to make a run for it. Sadly, I refrain. 
"Okay take it easy and try standing up. Then when you're ready try taking a step. We'll go from there. Hopefully we'll get you up and at em' before Kiri and Lo'ak arrive." Max instructed while checking the time on the clock above the door. I try swinging my legs over the bed and am again surprised by the strength of this body when I almost knock the tray filled with medical supplies beside me off the table. Max smiles and tells me to take it slow while I laugh at my graceless movements. It's then that I notice how good my legs feel. There's no more pain in my legs, no dull ache that refuses to leave no matter what I do. They feel so strong, I swear I can feel every tendon attached to bone under the skin moving as I stretch my feet per Norms instructions. My joints feel like butter and I almost melt into the bed with relief. There had been part of me, a small, dark part in the very back of my mind, that had worried that my genetic problem would affect my avatar.
"Okay sweetheart, try to stand up." Norm advises. Immediately I move to try to stand. I remember my strength this time and stand up with minimal issues. My tail flicks from side to side erratically before I get it under control and tangles a bit in the chords coming out of the bed. Norm and Max rib me a couple times as I struggle to take my first step forward.
"This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." I complain, trying to defend myself against their teasing. I'm starting to get used to the body so I decide to step forward to grab the clothes from Max's hands and stumble a little before catching myself on the steel table next to the bed.
"I feel like a baby direhorse." I grumble as I sit the clothes down on the bed. 
"Yeah. I remember what that felt like." Norm spoke, obviously he's remembering the first time he piloted his avatar. It was a story he often told over dinners with a great degree of dramatics and theatrics. He would talk about how natural Jake had seemed juxtaposed with how clumsy and ungraceful he had been. I’ve had many warm nights and aching bellies from laughing at his jokes while he told his stories of the time before the war.
"Okay. Okay, love you boys but get the heck out while I change." I say, and point at the door, eager to get out of the awful hospital gown. The tag in the back was making my neck twitch, sensitive new flesh itching from the polyester tag.
"You sure you got this alone?" Max asks, eyebrows crinkling with concern. With his creased brows and crinkled eyes I can almost see the anxiety in his face and I frantically assure him that I am capable on my own.
"Yeah. I got this. I've never felt better, actually." I reply as I all but push them both out the door, shooing them away. As soon as the door closes I take off the annoying hospital gown they put me in and pull on the tank and shorts. I brush out the wrinkles and walk over to the two way window to look at my reflection. My reflection is so surreal I almost wonder if I'm actually dreaming right now. If so, it's an exceptionally vivid dream. I push all the hair out of my face and look around for something to tie it with. Luckily there is a large rubber band on one of the tables so I gather my hair to tie it. I feel a small jolt and I gasp when I touch the spinal queue at the base of my skull, also known as the kuru. It's warm and surprises me when I feel the muscle and cartilage underneath flexing against my touch. I try to tie my hair but I can only wrap the rubber band around it all once so it's not really a ponytail, but I simply want the damn hair out of my face. I turn to the door and when I open it I almost forget to grab a Na'vi respirator. Na'vi can breathe the air in the lab, but only for a little bit. I hang it around my neck as I walk out.
It's insane how small everything looks when I step into the lab. It feels like a completely new space as a traipse around, even though I've been living here since my birth. Max and Norm rush over to crowd around me and fuss over me for a while, still worried about complications. I assure them I'm fine, in fact I'm better than fine because I feel so light and so strong. They make me do a few more of the less fine motor, hearing, and sight tests while I wait for Kiri and Lo'ak to arrive. Eventually I get irritated and snap at them, telling them to leave me alone.
"You know I love you guys but c'mon I'm perfectly fine." I say before retreating to my room. I attempt to weave briefly but I just can't because it's a lot harder when you're two times bigger than you normally are. I settle for some music instead and pop in the 2005 pop mix CD. I accidentally press the eject button while trying to press the play and I finally understand how Lo'ak’s skxawng ass broke my CD. It's surprisingly hard to push the right button at this size because they're so close together. Finally I get the CD to play after a few tries and Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl starts flowing from the player. While I'm about halfway through My Humps. Hearing the loud door to the entrance screech open I scramble to press pause on the player. While I absolutely adore Kiri and Lo'ak I still am not ready to explain what My Humps means. I had a hard enough time explaining Don’t Cha by The Pussycat Dolls that I don’t even want to think about the mess of explaining the term 'humps'. I hear Max say my name and the word room while I scramble to sit on my bed. I awkwardly try to adjust my position into a casual laying down pose before the door opens and I hear Kiri and Lo'ak before I see them. 
"No you… you- penis face. You said if I cleaned last night-" Kiri said before noticing the surprised look on her brother’s face and turned around to see me. Her eyebrows nearly shot off the top of her face. "Uh... hello?" Kiri said in that particular voice that she uses around people that she doesn't know. I get an evil, maliciously wicked idea to mess with her but of course before I can make good on that and mess with her Lo'ak’s big mouth opens. 
"Who the fuck are you and why are you in (Y/N)'s room?!" He shrieks and bumps his head on the top of the door frame before scrambling into a fighting stance. I burst out laughing at this and through the tears in my eyes I see the recognition of who I am dawn on Kiri's face. 
"It's me skxawng." I say in between breaths while I try to calm down, and Kiri lets out her own giggles at her brother's high pitched scream. Clutching my stomach, I stand up feeling my newly acquired abdominal muscles protest slightly from all the laughing.
"(Y/N)??" He says with his mouth open like a fish.
"Yeah. You better close your mouth before an atokirina lands in it and Eywa finally gives you the sign to shut it forever." I say rolling my eyes and pushing his shoulder gently.
"Yeah that's definitely you." He grumbles as Kiri laughs at us under her hand. Kiri approaches me tentatively, like I'm a newly born creature to befriend.
"How?" Kiri asks me while she grabs my hands and inspects my hands and arms. "I thought they said it was not possible anymore."
"They used Grace's pod… I'm sorry, Kiri. I didn't know until yesterday." I say looking down at the floor. Although I know Kiri will not be mad at me for using her mother's chamber, I know it might be a painful reminder of the loss of her. One could argue that she never really had her, but she had always been comforted by Grace's avatar. Always seeked out the tube when she was having a hard time emotionally.
"Hey, it is okay. I'm glad they used it to give my friend a chance at a life. It is what mom would have wanted." Kiri insisted before throwing her arms around me in a bone crushing hug. At least it would be if I didn't now have carbon fiber bones. "It's Eywa's will." She assures me. Lo'ak walks behind me and inspects my entire body before whistling. 
"Damn girl, you look pretty good in blue." He says while smirking. 
"Ew, Lo'ak that's actually gross. Shut up." I say while rolling my eyes. "Today is my first day." I abruptly try to change the subject from Lo'ak’s disturbing attempts at flirting. 
"Well that means we have to go out and have some fun. We can show you all our favorite fun spots. C'mon Taw." Lo'ak says excitedly, even using the nickname he had given me as a child. They had just called me Tawtute or sky person when we had first become friends, not used to saying my name. Eventually I told them that I didn't like being called that because I didn’t feel like a human at all. They started to simply call me Taw after that. Grumbling in defeat, I reluctantly follow as Lo’ak starts trying to pull me out of my room and Norm calls out to protest.
"Hey! She's not going to be able to keep up yet because it's her first day. She can go out tomorrow, Lo'ak. We have exercises for her to do first. Y’know stuff to strengthen her sense of balance." Norm almost yells from the other side of the lab. 
"C'mon Norm. We'll only take her to safe places and have her back before first twilight.... please?" Kiri pleads as we approach. Luckily Norm has a soft spot for her, as Grace's child, so he relents, but not before making me promise to be careful. Before we walk out the door I take a moment to brace myself to take my first step out of the lab in a few years. I've always avoided going out, for many reasons, like the staring Na'vi or vile names I would hear in hushed conversations that I just know have to be about me. I almost tell them I can't do it but when Lo'ak pulls me out of the door and I take the first breath of fresh air with no mask, I know I had to do this. With my new heightened Na'vi senses I can almost taste the air as I smell it. It smells earthy and lush; almost like the cave made by the mountains is alive despite having no plants inside. Lo'ak keeps pulling but I plant myself firmly after a few steps to have a second to get my bearings. Although the entrance to the lab is the furthest building away from the entrance of the cave, there are still a few Na'vi that live right around the human dwellings. 
These were the less prestigious families of the clan. At this time most families were carrying out various tasks and jobs delegated by Jake and his few chief advisors relating to the more domestic chores to avoid midday heat. Many of them did the jobs deemed less important like weaving and basket making. A few had looked up from their jobs to aim their shocked eyes at me, accompanied by open mouths gaping like fish. As I glanced around most of the Na'vi looked away as soon as I met their eyes, dropping to their crafts in shame from being caught . I could hear a few muttering lowly 'uniltìranyu' or even some muttering dreamwalker in English. I catch a few elders pursing their lips and shaking their heads in disapproval. Suddenly I felt like I was back in that pool, a small little weak girl that stood in front of Txeyu soaked and cold not only from the water but the pain of alienation. Kiri could immediately tell what I was feeling, her empathetic nature peaking out. She places a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles.
"Taw. Please, you are having a chance here to show these people who you truly are. Let them see that you are as strong outside as you are on the inside." Kiri urges me forward with the hand on my back. My first instinct is to snap back that I am not nearly as strong as she thinks but I bite down the bitterness and start moving forward again. 
"If you weren’t wearing such silly ass clothes then they wouldn't call you that. Hell, they'd probably think you were one of us, you speak the mother language almost perfectly for a sky person." Lo'ak adds as an attempt to comfort me in his own way as we walk towards the front of the cave. Luckily, almost everyone was out hunting or gathering so we were able to peacefully make it back to their marui that sits near the caves' large entrance. As we all walked there Kiri said that she would help me cut my hair, because it looked 'like a banshees nest' and braid it into a style that would protect my kuru. 
Neytiri and Jake were currently out on a hunting trip with their eldest son, Neteyam. Neytiri and Neteyam were a mystery to me; I had never met them and they had made no effort to know me. Which, I'll admit, is completely understandable due to Neytiri's personal losses that were caused by the humans. Jake is a sky person but she still hasn't let go of her grudge and if you are human you must prove to her you are worthy of her good graces before she kills you. I don't know what Neteyam's deal is, though. If I am to believe Lo'ak it's because all he ever does is work and train. But, and this is probably more the truth, Kiri tells me it's because he's a total momma's boy and Neytiri always told him not to play with me or join his siblings for our usual hangouts. This would normally be a little insulting after almost a decade of friendship with her other children and even her husband, but I totally get it. Humans are nothing but trouble, especially on Pandora. She barely tolerates Spider, but I'm jot sure if she even considers him more than Kiri's pet. 
Kiri putters around their family marui gathering beads, string, and a small exquisitely carved dagger. Just as she makes her way over to me Lo'ak groans.
"Ugh. C'mon I meant let's have some fun. I want to to braid hair and talk about boys." He complained, flipping his hair back for dramatic effect and blinking his eyes lashes before his face morphs in disgust.
"You mean while I braid her hair. If you do it her head will look like a mess." Kiri says, sticking her tongue out. "Besides you know she must braid her hair to protect the kuru."
"Whatever, man." Lo'ak scoffs before picking up his spear and running a thumb over the sharp stone tip. "I'm gonna go fish while you guys kiss and sing or whatever." Kiri responds only by giving him the finger and rolling her eyes while I laugh at the two.
"Sit," she commands while patting the mat in front of her. I hesitate so she adds an annoyed "Now!" While pushing me forward. I sit down and cross my legs awkwardly. This had never been a pose that came easy to me because of my problems, but as I settle I notice it feels completely natural to sit like this.
"Please, if you could try to cut it like my normal hair. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I still want to feel like me." I said as I ran a hand through the waist length hair, marveling at its length and texture. It felt coarser than my other hair, but still soft even with my new refine senses.
"I can try," Kiri says nonchalantly before grabbing hold of all the hair and slicing a large length of hair off at once. 
"Kiri!" I yell, not expecting a large cut, "please leave some of my hair! I don't want to be bald." I complain and she just clicks her tongue cheekily. Before I can register or try to stop it my tail flicks her leg in annoyance. "Do you ever get used to having a tail?" I ask dumbfounded as I try to stop it from showing my annoyance to no avail. 
She only snorts and incredulously says, "Well I don't know, I've always had a tail. After a while it'll just feel like another finger, maybe?" She says while she finished roughly chopping the sections of my hair my hair. I'll have to finish later with some scissors in the lab, but honestly she's given me a really good base to start with.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it. And you." I say as I turn and give her a smile. Kiri gives me a small smile back and motions down to her lap where she has a large sack of beads that she used from everything from jewelry to hair accessories. 
"What colors do you want?" She asks, grabbing out a handful of beads for me to inspect.
"Um, whatever color you think would look nice." I say and shrug. I've never much cared for my appearance so I'm not really sure what color I'd like in my hair. It was never really something that I’d thought about much, not really much of an option when you grow up with such limited resources. I don't even get to pick my own clothes, mostly I wore the clothes left behind by the female scientists. This often led to strange outfit combinations since most of the nice clothes were taken in the hurry to get off the planet. Kiri ends up choosing a couple purple beads and a few large green beads. We chat as she brushes my hair and sections it off. Mostly I listen to her complaints about learning medicine from Mo’at. They were notorious for butting heads about what herbs and roots to use because Mo’at is much more traditional in her Tsahik practices than Kiri is. Kiri is a lot more concerned with the patients comfort while Mo'at is a stickler for efficacy, always opting for the bitter herb that works faster over the mellow ones that take longer. Her hands work lightning fast as she  braids down my kuru and two braids on either side of my face for the beads, a style she herself often wears because of her much more delicate hair. Most Na'vi had textured hair, much more similar to people of color than Kiri's thinner hair. When she is finally done she hums happily and hands me a small handheld mirror that I use to inspect my reflection. I am again startled that my face is an entirely different color but relax when I realize that it still really does look like me. The only thing missing is a scar from a childhood accident. Feeling the braids and admiring my new hair style I smile at Kiri.
"Thank you so much. My head feels a lot lighter now." I say while I trace my fingers over the braids, admiring the two strand technique she uses on the ones framing my face. She just nods in my direction while she moves to put away her precious beads. "So..  what now?"
"Now we get you out of those clothes. Are they Norm's? They are horrendous. I feel like I must cleanse my eyes." She says with the signature flat tone she uses when she teases me. I stand up and nod lazily, not wanting to acknowledge her teasing. I've been in many wars with Kiri over the years and I can admit when I am outmatched. Lo'ak is much easier to battle in the game of wits, so I've learned that instead of being against Kiri, it is smarter to be with her. While she rifles through a sort of chest I notice that I am actually taller than Kiri. The thought sends a happy zing through my body that culminates in my tail almost wagging before I consciously force it to stop. It makes me happy to be tall because it means that my new body is particularly strong. The Na'vi always prized the taller members of the clan, as they often made the best warriors among them. I puff my chest proudly and proclaim to Kiri that I may not fit her clothes. 
"You are rather small for our age." I tease as she rifles flings a few tops over her shoulder. She flips me off silently and pulls out something that was larger than the rest.
"Oh thank you, Eywa. I found it!" She squeals excitedly before holding the set up to the light filtering through the hole in the center of the marui. It was a beautiful set, made from feathers from a variety of Pandora’s prized bird-like creatures. She hands it to me. Turning it over, I admire the fine details of the Omaticayan craftsmanship. I trace my fingers over the braided band that holds all the feathers. The leather is soft and pliant,  even though the set itself is obviously older. I can feel my face muscles get tired from the grin that stretches them before I realize that I cannot accept such a gift, it would be considered disrespectful by the clan. They wouldn’t want me to wear their clothes, evidenced by the fact that Norm still does not own any Na'vi clothes for his avatar. He always just wears larger size human clothes. The only exception was a battle band given to him by Jake for his help with the human war, but even that is a huge privilege because he is not one of the people. I have done nothing to earn this outfit so I shake my head and try to hand the set back to Kiri. Kiri, however, does not accept it and goes on to explain whose it was.
“It was my mothers, a very long time ago. She was around our age. She has now grown out of it and no longer uses it. Please, I am gifting it to you.” She insists, pushing my hands away. At this my mouth falls open. Is she trying to kill me?! Though I have not met Neytiri two things have been made very clear to me.
1: Neytiri does not like humans.
2: Neytiri is known for being a fierce woman, hell she even scares the mighty Jake Sully!
Immediately I drop the set, refusing childishly to accept it. If Neytiri saw me in her clothes she might kill me and stuff my body to mount like a trophy hunt. Screw that, with how much she scares the Olo’eyktan I wouldn’t be surprised if she ate me. No way in hell, man! I just got this body and I have so many things I need to do first. 
“Kiri, do you want me to join Eywa?” I ask incredulously. “Seriously your mother may slay me if she sees me in that. And it's not even yours to give away.”
“You are wrong,” she sasses back at me, “she has given it to me, therefore it is mine, therefore I may give it to you.” She rolls her eyes and bends over, picking up the top and loincloth.
“Yes. But, Kiri, there has not been a sky person that has ever been permitted to wear the people's clothing, besides your father who, might I remind you, became one of the people so he doesn’t count.” I insist, practically whining, while she tries to force me to accept the top from her hands by pushing it at my chest. As we continue to bicker a head pokes into the marui. 
“What are you guys doing?” Lo’ak says looking between us. “And why aren’t you done? I caught so many fish I thought the stream would run out and you still hadn’t come to me so I headed back.” He explained and came in with three large fish strung up on a rope hanging over his shoulder.
“I would hardly call three enough to drain the stream,” Kiri teases, “and we would not have taken so long if this one would get dressed.” She points at me, as if accusing me of a horrific crime.
“I cannot accept the clothes. It is not for me to wear! I am not one of you. The elders of the clan and your mother would not like it.” I explained to Lo’ak, turning to him and gesturing to the clothing she is holding. He simply looks on with a bored look on his face before it transforms into that face he gets before he spouts one of his ridiculous ideas.
“Well,” Lo’ak starts with the mischievous look on his face, “how could they be mad if you had the consent of the Olo’eyktan’s kids huh? Dad would totally be fine with it, too.” He insists. Kiri enthusiastically agrees, nodding so hard her many braids bounce up and down. 
“Yeah right. As if your mom or respected clan leaders give a thantor’s ass about your ‘consent’.” I counter and shake my head at them. I see an idea form in Lo’ak’s mind. A delicious, evil idea takes root and he opens his mouth to birth it to the world.
“What about the future Olo’eyktan?,” When I shake my head he continues on, “No I’m serious (Y/N)! The elders really respect Neteyam’s opinion and wouldn’t challenge you if you told them that he allowed it. Mom wouldn't get mad either if she knew he approved too.” I stay silent as I mull it over and I finally agree, albeit reluctantly. I'm not sure whether I agree with their reasoning or if they've simply worn me down. Another example of why it is better to be on Kiri's side, she will always wear you down.
“Okay let’s go.” Lo’ak says and grabs my forearm, pulling me out of the marui. There are a few more people than earlier and I get strange looks as I pass them, but luckily no one seems to care much as everyone is getting ready for dinner. I guess it has been longer than I thought it was to braid my hair, as eclipse is nearing. Kiri trails a length behind us, not really caring to keep up with Lo'ak's enthusiasm.
“Let’s go? Where are we going? Lo'ak!” I say confused, while Lo’ak stubbornly drags me along without uttering a word. A few times I almost trip over people as I try to slow down and get answers out of him. Unlike usual, he is a man on a mission and doesn’t answer me until we reach the cooking area. 
“To Neteyam. We must ask him about the clothes, he is on cooking duty today. Normally, men don’t do that but mom insists that he needs to learn to do the jobs of women to appreciate the work that they do when he becomes Olo’eyktan.” He explains, as if that's the reason I was confused.
“What?! No! I don’t even know him. I shouldn’t be here when you ask him. I want to meet him under less weird circumstances. It's totally weird to be like, 'hi my name is (Y/N), been friends with your sisters and bro for a while, can I wear your mom's old clothes?'.” I complain, planting my feet solidly on the ground to force him to stop pulling me along, finally getting agitated at his lack of awareness of his own peoples opinions.
“(Y/N), please, it’s Neteyam. He will not care.” Kiri piped up, she had finally caught up with us and now stood beside me. 
“Fine! Fine. But I’m not explaining this to him, you guys are!” I say and stick my tongue out at them. Lo’ak merely rolls his eyes and Kiri nudges me forward. I start moving again and we walk up to the large earthenware cooking pots that the many women are standing over. I can smell the pots, admiring the smell of spicy and earthy tones that float up from them. Among them is a range of ages. I see some that are as young as eight to many young adults like myself to even respected elders of the clan. The young children seem to be processing some sort of vegetable while the teens and young adults work on slicing meat and veggies. The older women are the ones actually doing the cooking, while the elders are the ones barking out orders and instructions to them. I hear many new Na'vi words as we walk past them. I assume that most of these must be the names of foods and spices, mostly because as a male Lo’ak does not get cooking duty and Kiri absolutely hates it. Tuk, on the other hand neither likes nor dislikes it so she also does not talk about it. Even with her mouth running a thousand miles a minute she still doesn't talk about things that she deems boring, which leaves my education of such matters to be very little. I search among the women for the mysterious Neteyam, but before I find a single male standing around Lo’ak calls out to him.
“Neteyam. Brother!” He practically shouts, unperturbed by the scornful looks that older ladies give him for disrupting their cooking lessons. A few younger children let out barks of laughter at his mischievousness. It's then that I notice him. Immediately I am confused that I hadn’t immediately seen him, he towers over most of the women there. Maybe it's because of the gentle smile and look that is in his eyes that makes him seem much smaller. He’s a lot less out of place in the kitchen than one would expect from a great warrior and hunter. He’s also, unfortunately, devastatingly good looking. I mean, I had always thought that Lo’ak was handsome, but his brother has this air of maturity and gentleness that makes his fine looks feel entirely different from Lo’ak’s. He feels like a man, while Lo’ak still feels like a boy. I feel a thousand times more awkward now. Why would Lo’ak do this to me? I think to myself when he catches sight of us and waves before I can make a run for it. I see him say something to the elder he was listening to and he makes his way over to us. As he nears I can practically see the confusion on his face as he looks at me. The urge to run away rears its ugly head as he catches my eye. I bet I could make it back to the lab before Kiri and Lo’ak could catch up to me. Before I can win or lose this hypothetical bet with myself the mysterious man speaks.
“Baby brother, what brings you here?” He asks and I can’t help but enjoy his voice. It is soft, yet mighty. Quiet, yet commanding. I ignore that thought and try to refocus, looking at him while attempting a smile that says ‘Hello future chief please don’t find it disrespectful that I came here today to ask you about what clothes you’ll allow me to wear’. I don’t think the point gets across, but one can only hope. “And who is this?” He ads while giving me a sideways glance. I notice that his gaze lingers on my shorts before moving up to my face.
“Hello. My name is (Y/N). And your baby bro has dragged me here to ask you something.” I offer up using my rusty Na'vi language abilities, trying to get ahead of Lo'ak's scheme. When Lo’ak said almost perfect for a sky person he may have been slightly over-exaggerating. I used to be better but I stopped talking to Kiri, Lo’ak, and Tuk in Na'vi a couple years ago when they asked me to help them practice English, so my ability has deteriorated quite a bit. I offer up my hand for him to shake. Neteyam looks down at my hand with knitted brows until Lo’ak says.
“You remember, our human friend.” He prompts, nudging Neteyam towards my hand. Neteyam seems to remember the silly human custom of shaking hands and takes my hand in his slightly larger one. He grasps it softly and shakes it a few times, giving me a barely there smile. 
“Oh. It is nice to finally meet you. You speak the mother language very well.” He compliments as he shakes my hand. “And I am sorry I have not made it to meet you before, but Olo’eyktan training is very intense.” He says bashfully, looking down at the floor.
“Oh it’s fine. Trust me when I say I understand. There are not many who would rush to meet me.” I joke to try to lighten his demeanor. I find myself fiddling with the two braids that frame my face to try to escape the awkward situation. Instead of making the atmosphere it seems to make Neteyam deflate even more as he winces. “Oh sorry, I was trying to make a joke.” I explain, thinking I may have somehow offended him.
“No, I am just really sorry that I had not met my sister's best friend before.” When that came out of his mouth I realized, relieved, that I had not offended him, but instead had made him feel bad for me. Not the optimal outcome, but better than I feared.
“You are too kind, but I believe that may be Spider. Not me. Your brother however, maybe, but only because he has no friends.” I say with a laugh, hoping that this joke would actually land. Luckily that gets a few chuckles from him and he actually smiles before finally looking me in the eyes.
“You are funny, (Y/N).” He compliments my jest while Lo’ak pouts at it, grumbling an expletive that I can't catch under his breath.
“Ugh, Taw you are so mean to me. Sadly, you’re right, though. I’m stuck with you as my best friend.” Lo’ak interjects rolling his eyes, bumping my shoulder when he says the word stuck “So, stop flirting with my best friend.” He almost accuses Neteyam. Neteyam blabbers for a second, very obviously embarrassed before struggling to get out an annoyed, 
“I am not flirting skxawng! I am simply trying to be nice to your friend.” He defends himself. I look over to find Kiri’s reaction to find her hiding a grin behind the feathered top she's still holding. I see her shoulders shaking and realize that she is also holding in laughter at her brothers' antics. In an attempt to change the subject Neteyam asks Lo’ak what he has come to ask him about.
“Well (Y/N) here doesn't have any clothes of her own to wear in this body so we came to ask if we could give her one of moms old outfits.” Lo’ak explains. “She thinks it would look bad if she accepted the gift, that mom might hunt her on sight. But, like I explained, if you say it's okay, surely mom will be fine with it.” He throws and arm around me and pulls on my ear when he says that his mom will hunt me. I push him away and flick his arm harshly to get him to stop.
“She is right. Mom would not like that. It has not been done since father.” Neteyam says, dipping his head in agreement with me. 
“I know, but come on look at what she is wearing. If she wears that everyone will say stuff about her. Maybe they’ll even start saying bad things about me and Kiri.” Lo’ak says, using anything he can to convince Neteyam. “Plus she's not like Norm, she doesn’t have specially made earth clothes for her much bigger Na'vi body.” I can see the gears in Neteyams mind turning as he considers what his brother said.
“Yes. But-” Neteyam starts to say before being cut off.
“C’mon man, Mom won’t ever wear this again. And Kiri probably won't grow into it like mom thought she would… Plus, don’t you think it would look a lot nicer on her than this.” He says while gesturing at my basketball shorts. This makes Neteyam look at me up and down before he sighs loudly. 
“Fine. But if mom asks, it was not my idea. I'm not taking responsibility for you this time.” He huffs at his brother. Suddenly, a voice calls out and Neteyams tail whips back and forth in clear annoyance.
“Dinner is ready. I must go help now. Will your friend be joining us? I am grabbing food to bring back to the marui.” Neteyam asks Lo’ak but I answer anyway.
“I would love to come, but I have to tell Norm and Max. That will give me a chance to try them on.” I suggest, despite secretly hoping that they don't fit. He seems taken back that I had answered him and not Lo’ak, but he nods and smiles nonetheless.
“Goodbye then. See you at dinner, hopefully.” He says before heading back over to the elder he was helping before.
“Awesome!” Lo’ak says throwing an arm around both me and Kiri on either side of him. “Well… First one to the lab wins.” He declares before taking off running and laughing at my dumbfounded face. I had certainly never been challenged to a race before, especially not by Lo'ak. Spider was the only one who I could possibly keep up with, but he was never really around much before my legs started to give out on me. Miles had always been a child who needed adventure, while I was always more of a homebody. Always cooped up in the lab, reading and talking to Norm and Max. Kiri laughed and nudged me before she took off running after Lo’ak. Seeing Lo’ak getting further away I hesitated, wondering if my motor control over this body was really ready yet. The, I thought of Jake Sully, he did not hesitate with his new body, so neither should I! 
I look to the left and right to see if anyone is watching me. Luckily, most of the women were completely unconcerned with me, only focusing on their pots and knives. I take a deep breath before I take off after them. I’m again surprised by the strength of my new body, it feels like I launched forward rather than started running. In the first few steps I feel like a baby deer as my knees wobble and my feet are unsteady. My tail isn’t balanced and I almost fall into a woman carrying a large pile of leathers and pelts. I shout a small apology in Na'vi behind me. Not turning to face the disappointment on her face, I continue on. As I run my body instinctively adjusts itself, and I can feel my newly acquired tail now helping me to stay upright as I dart around people returning from a hunt with animals slung over their backs, hoof-like feet tied together. A few of the hunters in the party call after me to stop running through camp, but it feels like I’m flying. If this is what running feels like, then I can’t even imagine what actual flying on an Ikran would feel like. Finally Kiri comes into view with Lo’ak almost by the lab entrance in front of her. For the first time in my life, I feel determined to win against Kiri so I push myself harder. My muscles strain against me, the muscles in my calves are burning when I finally push past Kiri in the last leg. I whoop as I pass her in the last second, barreling into the lab door that Lo'ak is holding open to us.
I stop when I reach the chamber between the outside and the lab, my lungs heaving as I struggle to slow my breathing. Lo’ak is laughing at me and Kiri says something to defend me, but I can’t really hear them with the blood rushing in my ear. Ba-dump ba-dump. My heart beats strongly in them, another reminder of how powerful I feel. The rhythmic pounding slows and when I calm down Kiri congratulates me on catching up to her. Max and Norm greet us with a hey from the monitors in the computer lab as we open the second door, depressurizing the small room. We wave back and make our way towards my room, all of us grabbing a Na'vi mask as we pass the rack.
“You did very well for your first race. Very strong.” She says smiling at me, her fangs poking out slightly over her bottom lip.
“Would have been more impressive if she had won.” Lo’ak teases, “It's easy to catch up to you, Shorty.”
“Yes, well it's her first day in her Avatar. Father has told us what his first day was like, he compared it to a baby yerik taking its first steps. Catching up to me was pretty impressive.” Kiri said, defending me again. 
“Thank you, Kiri,” I started, “and I would have won if you hadn’t cheated. You ran off before you even finished your sentence.” I complained, tugging on one of his braids harshly to punish him. He lets out a yowl of protest and gives his own tug on the braid framing the right side of my face. Kiri breaks us up before a brawl can break out.
“So are you coming to dinner? Please, we’ll get dad to say yes, I promise. I want to be there when you taste the best food you’ve ever had.” Lo’ak almost begged while he fidgets with the puzzle on my desk.
“I guess, as long as Max and Norm both say yes.” I replied, but really I was hoping Max would say no. Mostly because, knowing Lo’ak, I was going to be embarrassed through the whole thing. I’m sure he would keep teasing me about Neteyam and my clothing, and I will definitely be interrogated by Neytiri about my outfit. I’m sure she would have a lot of questions for the weird kid that has been friends with her weird kids for a decade or more. I am definitely not ready for that on my first day piloting my avatar. Plus now that I look at it, the set that Kiri tried to give me is so small I’m scared that I will flash everyone on they way there. 
“Please, Taw.” Kiri joins in the chorus of begging. “I’ll tell mom beforehand that I gave you one of her outfits, too.”
“I have to wear that thing? Seriously? It’s so small! I don’t think I would be comfortable with that yet.” I try to weasel my way out of wearing clothes that are honestly smaller than my underwear in my other body. 
“Trust me it will look really good on you.” Lo’ak says practically leering at me. 
“You know, I’m starting to think that you just want to watch me wear something ten times shorter than anything you've seen me in before.” I say rolling my eyes at his attempt at flirting(?). 
“No, but that is definitely a plus,” Lo’ak starts to say before I give him a death glare, “C’mon Taw, it’s not a big deal I’m just kidding. Every girl in the clan wears clothes like that.” 
“I’ll only wear it if you promise to not try to embarrass me tonight.” I reason with him, before taking my puzzle back from his hands.
“Hey, I can’t help it if you embarrass yourself. But, I won't try to embarrass you.”  Lo’ak says holding out a pinky. I grasp it with mine for a pink swear. It was something that me and Lo’ak and Kiri had been doing since forever. I told Kiri and Lo’ak that pinky promises were a death contract on Earth; a sacred ritual. That if you break the promise the other party has to kill you. Of course a few months later they had found out that wasn't true when they saw Norm pinky promise me to help with dinner. They had asked him why it was worth a “sacred pinky promise” when he usually said he would help before getting absorbed in his work and falling through on the promise. Norm had laughed through his entire explanation, that no, if he failed I would not kill him. They were so mad that Kiri had refused to come over for the next visit to the lab. I had to apologize and braid her hair four times before she fully forgave me. To this day we still use pinky promises to signify a serious promise, despite not being able to kill each other if we fall through on our promises.
“I’m serious, I want your mom and brother to like me.” I admit, looking away to hide from the reaction I knew was coming.
“Awwwww. Taw, you love us so much you want to impress our family.” Lo’ak coos, pinching my cheek that I turned away from him. I slap his hand away lazily and accompany it with a glare.
“Lo’ak stop, this is obviously important to her.” Kiri said, reaching out to stop Lo'ak from grabbing my cheek again. “Don’t worry, I will be there to protect you from Lo’ak.” She says, and pats my face where Lo’ak pinched it to soothe the skin. 
“Thank you, Kiri. Hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe she is my best friend.” I say flipping off Lo’ak with my right hand while throwing my left arm around Kiri in a half-hug. Lo’ak only grouchy at us while Kiri laughs. 
We talk for a few minutes, before they have to leave to help get ready for dinner. The plan was for me to change and come to their marui when the dinner horn is sounded, which is when most Na’vi go to get food. Usually, a member of each family stands in line to get food for the whole family. Most dishes are served in one dish and the Na’vi use their hands to eat from each dish, using a cloth to wipe their fingers between each type of food to avoid crossing flavors. Each cloth is customized to the owner to avoid confusion, often made as gifts for children. I have never been so glad that I asked Kiri to teach me to weave as I pull out one of my pieces that is small enough to use as a napkin. I made it to use as a bandana, but in this body it is more like a napkin size. It's really too fancy to use as a sra, especially because it's not a special occasion but, since they're considered personal items to the Na'vi there might not be any that have not already been used. This would definitely be a better option than using one of Lo'ak's extras. Ew.
After that I get ready, pulling on the small set. As I look in the mirror I can’t help but fuss with the feathers on the top to get them to cover as much of my chest as possible. The loincloth starts to ride up so much that I debate changing back into the ugly shorts and tank top again. I shake my head and decide to just let it hang where it sits, as every time I move so do the tops many feathers. I go into the lab to show the outfit to Max and Norm. Norm, of course, flatters and compliments me about a thousand times. Max simply smiles fondly and listens to Norms compliments, much like a father listening to a mother fawning over her child. He only interrupts to ask how I feel about the clothes. I would love to tell the truth and tell him that it's way too short for my comfort, but I just smile and say I love it. If I told him he would definitely tell me to change, which would no doubt cause me a fight with Kiri and Lo'ak. After they both stop admiring my outfit I ask them to go to dinner and surprisingly both agree, quickly. I raise my eyebrow at this but choose not to question it. After that I help with their dinner while waiting for the dinner horn to sound from outside, they promise to set aside a big portion for me to eat when I re-enter my body later, making me promise them I will eat it. We usually eat dinner earlier than the Na’vi, so just as I add the finishing touches to our dinner the horn blows and I make my way down to the Sully’s marui.
Thank you for reading! Let me know if I have made any mistakes or errors, feel free to massage them if you don't want to comment. Feedback is also greatly welcomed.
@skeletondeerart
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groovebunker · 1 year ago
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💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!
Hope you're starting to feel better 😊
I think (atm) it's either the bonus chapter of wwyd where cc takes fran shopping OR the holiday party chapter of the agony aunt au where cc brings a date who looks a little familiar, niles loses his mind and fran loses her temper (in a hot way). i'm also planning to write the birthday party referenced in the chanukah fic bc i can't stop thinking about it 😭
an (unedited) snippet from the bonus chapter under the read more!
Fran knew CC was wealthy. It’s not even just about her things, the expensive clothes and the frankly ridiculous Upper West Side apartment, it’s in the way she holds herself and talks, the way she commands a room the second she walks in. CC is rich beyond her wildest dreams. Which is why she shouldn't be surprised when CC guides her to the personal shopping counter at Bergdorf’s and addresses the woman there by her first name.
“Anna, I called earlier to book an appointment for Fran Fine.”
“Yes Miss Babcock, I have your dress here and I’ve already pulled some gowns in the colours you suggested. I’ll take you through.”
She leads them through to the largest dressing room Fran’s ever seen, a rail of dresses in shades of pink and red standing in one corner. She feels like she can barely afford to stand there, let alone buy anything. CC comes to stand next to her, her hand resting on Fran’s lower back.
“Is this ok, darling?”
She realises she's not really sure. It’s just the opposite of what she'd been expecting when CC had suggested taking her shopping. She’s used to a shopping trip meaning several hours browsing Loehmann’s with Val or her mother, debating how much she can afford to put on her credit card this month. She loves it, loves finding the perfect thing tucked away at the back of the store and giggling with Val as they show Sylvia a succession of hideous outfits. Once a year, around the holidays, she comes down to 5th Avenue and lets herself dream about affording this kind of thing one day. When she's not a nanny on six bucks an hour. And it's not like she was expecting CC to shop off label. But she’s treating this like it's any other Monday, as if there's not a rack of dresses in the corner which each cost more than Fran makes in a year, as if half the staff hadn't looked down their noses at Fran the second they pushed through the doors, as if Fran could ever fit in in a place like this. This is CC’s normal and Fran’s so far out of her depth that she feels a little lightheaded.
“Honey, is this really necessary? I was just gonna go to Loehmann's.”
CC leans in a little closer, gesturing for Anna to leave them alone.
“It’s not really necessary, no. But I like seeing you dressed up in beautiful things. So…indulge me?” It’s not fair, Fran thinks, the way her voice drops or the way her mouth forms the word ‘indulge’. How is she supposed to say no to that? “If there's nothing you like, we’ll go anywhere you want.”
“It’s just…so expensive.”
“Maxwell was kind enough to give me his credit card. He was just so grateful that I was taking you shopping,” she grins, “He thinks I'm going to have a terrible time.”
Fran smirks. Mr Sheffield's paid for enough of her fancy outfits. What's one more?
“Oh, does he now?”
CC unbuttons Fran’s shirt and pushes it off her shoulders, letting it fall crumpled to the floor.
“Mmm, he was so apologetic,” she undoes Fran's jeans and pushes them down over her hips, helping her step out of them and her shoes, “So sorry that I had to take time out of my day to do this. Kept saying I was doing him a huge favour.”
He clearly has no idea. Or he's a much better actor than they’ve given him credit for. Fran’s not bothered either way, because CC’s pulling her over to the rail of dresses and looking at her as if she’s sizing her up. She pulls a maroon gown down and holds it up, scrutinizing it against Fran’s skin.
“This one first, I think.”
Fran thought she loved shopping because of the search, because of the choice and the possibilities. When they got here, she couldn't understand why CC would want someone else to pick out what she should try on, what she should wear. Not that it’s not working for her, clearly, but she thinks it must suck all the fun out of getting dressed in the morning. Fran’s clothes are so much a part of who she is, she can’t fathom having anyone else choose them for her. But now CC’s helping her into another dress, this one a deep cherry red with the neckline cut across her shoulders, and it fits like a glove and CC can't stop looking at her. This is probably the 7th dress she’s put on, and she’s been watching CC get more and more flushed, less and less able to string a sentence together as she helps Fran change and then bosses her around a bit, tells her how to stand and to turn slowly so she can see her from every angle. And Fran’s starting to get it. She doesn't want a stranger picking out her clothes, although Anna has done a very good job, but CC choosing them? CC looking at her in her underwear with that slightly hard gaze, flicking through clothes and deciding what she wants to see Fran in? And then lounging back against the mirror as Fran models them for her? It’s liable to ruin both her and the ridiculously expensive dresses.
“What do you think, darling?”
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xamaxenta · 1 year ago
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So I was looking through your art tag just to vibe cuz your work is fab and I came across the awesome Sabo Cauterizing His Own Wounds piece post Reverie and ended up thinking about how it's a common theme in One Piece that scars will hurt when the one who caused them is fucking around or getting up to no good.
And now all I can see in my minds eye is Sabo clutching at the scar on his stomach and clinging to the wall or the back of a chair because he had to treat the injury himself so it probably healed weird first of all, and second the five elders and Im are definitely up to no good.
Sabo knowing that one of them is nearby because he can feel it in the scar tissue that tears through his insides.
Also cuz I'm soft, imagine Sabo clutching his stomach over the scar mid hanging out with Ace so Ace gets to comfort him and hold him and I get to roll around squealing cuz they are so tender.
Awowu thank you anon !!! The post reverie cauterisation piece is a sleeper piece that got way more attention than I thought it would get and im really grateful people are enjoying it as much as me
I wish i had the guts to finish it as a full coloured piece but idk sketch form feels very raw too and i think if i ever revisit the idea itll be another moment, like i love how you mentioned the scars hurting theme in OP thats 👌🏽
Im on the move and Sabo just fucking feels that in his insides, missteps for a moment goes all pale and sweaty thats soooooo good
Like… what if another Lulusia? Can you imagine the blinding white pain Sabo felt then as he watched an entire island get “vaporised”? I love that panel i want to explore that Sabo expression more irs delightful Oda pls i demand more !!
But you have me thinking about Sabo weak from bloodloss freshly weeping burns painted across his stomach, its distressing perhaps that he doesnt feel that sort of pain anymore, maybe its because hes been burned before, maybe its because he’s the one who did it this time— watching as lulusia is wiped off the face of the grand line and his gut that puncture wound he sealed is fucking burning, lightheaded he just manages to catch himself against the ledge of the small skiff boat theyre fleeing in and just vomits blood and bile and ghskfbrn
Man…
And you also mention Ace lives too and wwwww yeah Ace who also has a . Ahem puncture scar to flaunt get it, he understands and im always very excited to see them hurt comfort together as long as its happy ending bc ill cry if it isnt!!!
Thank you for the super sweet ask anon
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mayisgoingnuts · 3 months ago
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OKAY!! First off is Elaine because ik she's your favorite /lh
•Her favorite movie is Nightmare Before Christmas, she also watches Powerpuff girls when she's bored.
•Her and Rai met when they did cheer, then they both quit and did softball, then they both quit, forgot about each other, and ended up in classes together + band. Rai forgot about her entirely. Elaine just barely remembered. (For reference they were around 6-8 for cheer and softball and around 13 when they met again.)
•She hates tea, every kind of tea. Iced tea, hot tea, all of it.
•She may hate tea but she loves to gossip.
•She uses a plastic reed for her clarinet, I think I mentioned this but I know didn't mention how much she loves it. She was calling Rai when she got it and Rai had to mute her because of how loud she was.
•Her and Rai put drawings in each other's cases for instruments.
•She likes anime, especially Attack on Titan. Yet she doesn't have much merchandise for it.
•A month younger than Rai. Elaine was born in August and Rai was born in July. They both use this against each other.
•She likes 2000s music and 80s music. Her playlist is a mix of that + some songs others might consider 'weird' for example "Your Stupid Face" (I forgot who it's by)
•She'll paint Skid/Pumps nails, do their makeup, and fix their hair when Rai is babysitting them. Sometimes it's so she can have a break. Sometimes she joins them and lets Elaine do whatever.
•She's mixed with just about everything but she only looks tan. (I'm not good at describing it, she doesn't look white, but she doesn't look black??) Rai makes fun of her for it affectionately.
•Elaine talks a lot of shit about white people not being able to season stuff properly, but she can't even eat a piece of pepperoni without thinking it's hot. (One time Rai went to her house and they had burgers for dinner, it was so bland Rai almost threw up.)
•If she's at Rai's house while Hatzgang+Susie are all hanging out there she'll go and hang out with Ross instead. The six of them get along well. They have movie nights a lot.
•TransfemRoy Sometimes she'll do Roy's makeup and hair. Roy tries to pay her back but she refuses to take it.
•uhm that's all for her for now, I'll work on Rai in a minute bc I feel lightheaded 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
-🍂
HEHE SILLY
Also them having a month of difference immediately tells me that atleast ONCE Rai turned to her dramatically and went "tsk... you're too young to understand......"/silly
Trying not to mention the transfem roy and going wild over it/vpos
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vgilantee · 2 years ago
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wait no he'd totally respect you saying no but literally mating with him is inevitable, so if you were the one that came to him, finally agreeing you'd mate with him bc it's unbearable that you haven't yet. god he'd be so cocky.
of course he'd respect you saying no, because he's in the same boat really, he doesn't want it to be you, he's just already hit acceptance whereas you're still in denial
maybe it takes an unbearable heat, one that is painful and has you lightheaded and your skin feeling as though it was on fire, only able to smell him, your body craving him and no matter how many times you cry yourself to sleep because it's painful but you don't want to have to ask, you know it's inevitable. so you steel yourself, wipe your eyes and stand as straight as you can, before finally going to his house.
honestly, he probably knows how much pain you're in because he's in it too, his own rut having somehow already synced up with your heat. he too has already done the trying not to sob, the praying that his own hand will fix the problem and ease the pain. but he won't go to you. he already made his case, telling you it was unavoidable, but when you told him to go fuck himself, he decided that you would have to be the one to make that first move. you would have to reach acceptance yourself
ethan smells you before he hears the urgent knock on the door, already racing toward it just to see you
"please. it hurts. i'm done fighting it, i need you, eth" and ethan is pulling you into his house the second the whine of his name has left your lips, already literally tearing off your clothes as you tear his, tumbling to the cool tiles to ease the heat from your skin that now doesn't just burn from inside, but also wherever your skin meets his
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la0hu · 1 year ago
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unofficial iud recovery log everyone avert your eyes:
june 13th (tuesday) i got it in, experienced pretty bad cramps and light watery spotting discharge, nothing too bad tho. note: this would have also been day 1 of my period
day after i just had slightly bloody watery discharge but also insane bad cramps and lightheadedness; i did almost pass out for a couple hours and felt emotionally numb / extremely weird mood that i was worried would be permanent
thursday i took off sick and had bad cramps; i believe my bleeding started to pick up so i had to start using tampons again, changing every 4 hours
friday terrible cramps, lightheaded again, bleeding really picked up + clotting so changing tampons every 2-3 hours. super lightheaded right before my hair appointment but it subsided by dinner time
yesterday and today, cramps are being managed by alternating advil and tylenol, changing tampons every 2 hours during heaviest flow and every 4 hours at night. blood flow is pretty heavy but still lighter and with less clotting than my period. in general i feel a bit weak, but my mood is normal
update: monday, cramps and bleeding lessened somewhat but still need to take meds and use tampons :( ; negligible bleeding last night
tuesday: no bleeding last night, bleeding is lighter today, no tampons but sitting around all day anyway. clotting is still kind of heavy. cramps are weaker but still needed to take advil.
wednesday: no bleeding last night. bleeding definitely lessened so that i don't need tampons anymore, but there's still clotting. cramps have also lessened but they're definitely not fun to sit through; had trouble telling if i had bad indigestion or cramps in the evening, which was not fun
thursday: i bled last night >:( but in general my flow feels a little bit lighter (still with clotting). low level cramps still, so slight i don't notice them until i realize i don't want to move or stand up straight out of discomfort. flow picked up in the evening though, and i did end up using tampons again :(
friday: bled last night and needed to get up in the middle of the night. when will i get a full night of sleep again... flow feels the same as yesterday, which is to say still annoying and heavy by most people's standards, but manageable by mine. cramps have calmed down a little? it's getting easier to skip the advil, but i still need it.
saturday: bled only a tiny bit at night. woke up with terrible cramps, but that's probably bc i was so hungover. flow is markedly lighter; i used some regular tampons, but i left them in and forgot about them and used a cotton pad with no issues, and when i took them out, i noticed my flow had slowed down a lot.
sunday: full night of sleep. woke up with no cramps, but they kicked in by midday and i needed advil. blood flow was very light, heaviest in the afternoon and tapering off as the evening came on.
monday: full night of sleep, no bleeding at all! cramps didn't kick in until midday. bleeding is light and with much less clotting than before. TMI but in the shower i could feel my cervix had moved back up, which is where is normally lives when i'm not on my period (before this point, it had been lower and nearer to the entrance of my vagina as it is when i'm on my period). worst symptom right now is the cramping
tuesday: no cramping at all, and during the day bleeding is not exactly light but manageable with no tampons.
wednesday: bleeding picked up at night; at 3am i woke up and put in an extra large tampon, and at 9:30 this morning i removed it and it was completely bled through. no cramps though. in the evening i felt my iud strings poking my labia somewhat painfully; i didn't feel any plastic, but my strings felt markedly longer than before. my bleeding picked up a lot after this point. i had to re-tuck my strings a second time before bed.
thursday: had to get up in the night again. cramps are different, less painful than normal period cramps but not like anything i've felt before. bleeding is very heavy again, comparable to the first week post insertion. before my appointment, i felt more pain and lightheadedness, probably because i ate a small breakfast and then didn't eat until 3:30.
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vamp1re-bait · 7 months ago
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feeling a weird sense of guilt for calling out of work today. i didn't feel as bad earlier bc like. being lightheaded and having constant nosebleeds for days on end aren't exactly compatible with working but also like. i changed so many plans bc of it. i guess i'm probably feeling bad about it bc i would have just been getting off now. i dunno. retroactive guilt despite being actually genuinely sick is weird
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chocolattefeverdreams · 1 year ago
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Ugh I'm feeling like giving up on the entire IB diploma entirely recently, I have a business management ia to finish, ess ia, math ia, the EE, the TOK essay, Economics ia check, and so many tests at the same time.
I feel like I don't even care if I just pass the diploma anymore. I'm just so, so tired. I always feel like I'm not deserving of any rest or sleep if I have not done anything that is related to school. I'm so tired of hearing these thoughts go over and over in my brain. I just want to rot somewhere more often now.
I sometimes even wonder if I actually even like my school anymore. I feel constantly lightheaded in school, like everything is a fever dream, especially in certain classrooms. I have to stim a lot and I have to leave the classroom often just to go somewhere and breathe in natural air instead of AC. I also get hungry in school often, I usually eat lunch at 1 or 1:30 pm but when it's school I come back at 3:30 pm so I'm very hungry and tired by the time I come back.
It sets the energy for the whole day, I don't even feel like taking my laptop out of my bag when I get home. And what would be the point in doing something anyway? It's going to take hours and if I can't even finish it off by that time then there's no point to it for me. I literally took a day off today just so that I could start my business management IA.
And I don't even have close friends or a friend group to belong to at school. My closest friend at school battles mental health problems and I rarely see him there. And I KNOW that it's okay to be alone or enjoy things by yourself, but when you've always sucked at making friends in school it kinda gets to you later on. I feel envy when I see groups of friends and I always wonder if I will actually belong to a group like that someday. Sometimes when some classmates talk to me I always get the feeling it's for a joke which I'm the butt of. Maybe it's bc I have a monotonous way of speaking irl most of the time??
I wish that some of this stuff and all the IAs we do now was actually in DP year 1 BC it would save a lot of stress for a lot of people. Like the business ia could be done in January when I was in year 1 or something. The ess ia too. Instead of it all being crammed later on in 12th grade.
Ok but today, I'm going to make myself the cup of herbal tea I've been avoiding for weeks because in the end, I know I deserve sleep.
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hazellight11 · 1 year ago
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Just had a horrible past one hour ✌️
I had work at 1pm so i woke up at 10, checked tumblr and other stuff on my phone for about an hour, and then around 11 i was about to get out of bed when i picked at a pimple on my face and it started bleeding more than i expected it could so i waited for my sister to be done in our shared bathroom so i could get ready and also like, check out just how much my forehead was bleeding bc my mirror in my room has shit lighting. But some combination of seeing the blood and not having eaten enough yesterday made me lightheaded/nauseous so i asked my sister to get me a glass of orange juice from downstairs when she was done on the toilet and she refused but fortunately my parents were home so my mom brought me some. So i drank a small glass of orange juice while laying on my bedroom floor (which i hate bc it's carpet and we have cats and i haven't vacuumed in a while). And then once i wasn't on the verge of passing out i realized i got my fucking period cramps. Which for me usually last like an hour or two and consist of overstimulation (audio, light, physical ouchy ofc, and temperature) that are worst when laying down but still bad when sitting up and especially rn because of the blood sugar thing. So just thinking about doing anything sucked and i was literally writhing because moving a little bit felt slightly better than staying still (i had taken some meds for it but it takes a bit for them to kick in). Anyway at 11:30 i ended up texting my boss that i wouldn't be able to make it in today because i'm not feeling well. Which i hated doing because i was literally scheduled for 3 hours today with just one other person (it's a sunday so it's bare minimum) which means she has to find someone else who can work today in the hour and a half before we open (i know i know "it's the manager's fault for not scheduling enough people" but i work at my local library and i've known her longer than i can literally remember and i do completely trust her bc she's literally a small town library director, not like a retail boss). And i already took Friday off with less than a week's notice to go to the movies. Actually on second thought i don't feel as bad now since i was scheduled for 6 days three weeks in a row (normally every weekday + every other sunday but someone is on vacation so i ended up with 3 sundays in a row) (usually i'm only working like 3 or 4 hours a day so it's not that bad and also it's a pretty easy job bc it's a student/summer job at a smaller library)
Anyway i'm feeling a lot better now (but i think taking it easy is a good idea since i haven't gotten out of bed since i started feeling better like 20 minutes ago and shelving books has always been a slight issue especially in the children's section where the shelves are low and it's a lot of bending over which can make me slightly lightheaded)
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