#but alive i am such a burden that i should unalive myself

[mahvaladara]

"You are my happyness..."

I don't deserve them. I caused them so much pain. I was so selfish and in my obsession caused them so much suffering. I was disillusioned, and I selfishly hurt them, because I was a coward, because I was a monster.

I don't deserve them.

And yet, they forgave me, they love me, they care for me.

"I know the true you, I have seen the true you. You're not the monster you see, or the selfish coward you loath. You're not the lonely and scared boy in the dark, or the hopeless and sad teenager in the rain nor the broken and suffering man covered in blood."

"You're a beautiful soul, broken into pieces and still holding together trying to ammend it's mistakes, take responsibility for them. I see, the bright and curious spirit trying to learn and grow with the world around them. And I see the kind and caring lover, who will always value everything above himself."

"I see my love. You are my happiness."

I don't deserve them. I am so much trouble. Frail sickly and so much trouble.

But I am selfish... So very selfish that I want to believe that.

I want to be their happiness, and I will do everything to make ammends, to make them happy, even sacrifice myself for it.

You are my life. All of it.