#but Leah is like a lesbian i fear

[casperth3ghost]

Breaking Dawn spoilers btw...

SMeyer i DO NOT care about resume or whatever the FUCK that babies name is, jacob DID NOT imprint on her, imprinting DOES NOT exsist. jacob fell in love with the "Light red-gold hair, fair skin, a few gold-colored freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose, and eyes the color of cinnamon" girl named Lizzie.

[greynatomy]

bookworm

leah williamson x reader

request: either Leah, Lucy or Sam.... married to a writer, someone who's name is well known but face isn't . (could be a pen name) ... the relationship isn't know.... reader comes to a game, the team sees reader and thinks Player should shoot their shot....

the book mentioned is by ciara smyth and i recommend reading it

———

For as long as anyone has known her, Leah Williamson was a known bookworm. Her parents have bought countless books once she’d learned how to read. If she wasn’t playing football, she was reading a book.

Away matches? Reading on the coach or plane, Leah will always be found with a book on her person. Everyone teased her about it, but she always gave recommendations on her favorite reads.

Her close friend, Lia Wälti, did tease her at first, like the rest of their Arsenal teammates, but one time during training, Leah left her book on the lounge chair by the pool when Jonas called her over for a chat. Lia picked up the book to inspect it.

“The Falling in Love Montage by Billie Keynes.” She mumbled, reading the title and author.

By the time Leah comes back to her chair, she sees someone else occupying it, her book in their hands.

“Would it be possible to get my book back?” Leah asks, casting a shadow over Lia.

“Shh. I’m a bit preoccupied.” Lia lifts a finger up to Leah, not taking her eyes off the page she is on.

“Uh, that’s my property.”

“And I’m currently using it, so wait your turn.”

Over the next couple of days, Lia is seen with the same book that Leah had. Some of her teammates ask about it and eventually a a good number of them started reading the book.

Another couple of days later, the team is winding down by the pool at the training ground, all reading the same book.

“This is a really good book Lia. Thanks for the recommendation.” Steph complimented, other gunners agreeing.

“Uh, excuse you all. I have been reading that first. Lia stole the book from me. Had to buy a new one.” Leah complains, eyebrows furrowed.

“Shush. It’s not a competition.”

Leah makes a face of offense.

“Actually, since you’re here, does Billie Keynes have any other books? Preferably with more lesbians.” Beth asks.

“Oh, I’ve got a whole list. I’ll send it in the group chat.”

Two weeks later, they were back on the pitch, ready for a new season. Leah sat behind the bench, still healing from her injury.

After the match, Lia walks over to where Beth and Leah stood.

“Hey! Good game, played well!” Beth hugs the Swiss.

“Thank you, but did you see the girl that was reading a book the whole game?”

“Leah wasn’t reading?” Beth looks at Leah, confused.

“No, not Leah. She’s, uh, she’s right there, just walking off.”

“Huh. Weird.”

Over the next few games, including the ones away, more and more of the team took notice of the girl who reads during the match. Always in the same section, same row, reading a book. Even some fans recognize her, being posted on social media by the team’s administration.

During a team bonding, the team decided to play a bit of truth or dare. One having to eat a spoonful of Vegemite, jump in the pool, tell their biggest fear.

The bottle then landed on Leah, being spun by Katie, who had a mischievous look on her face.

“Oh, no.” Leah was sweating, she didn’t like the look on the Irish’s face.

“Now, we know how much you love to read. You’ve turned some of us, not me, but some of us into avid readers, but there’s one that could rival you as a bookworm.”

“Get on with it, will you!” Leah was impatient.

“I dare you… to go up to the girl that’s always reading during our games and ask her out. On a date.”

So now here she was, walking over to the section after the game against City. She walks in small strides, trying to take longer than she needed to, looking back to see her team huddled together watching her.

“Hey.” She says, when she reaches the girl, who was, no surprise, reading a book.

“Leah.” You replied, not taking your eyes off the book.

“Listen, I was dared to go up to you and talk to you.”

“So, you’ve said last night.”

“Let me finish woman.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” You give an amused smile at the pout on her face.

“Would you like to go on a date? We’ve not gone on one yet this week.”

“Yes, only if I pick where to eat.”

“But, babyyyy.” She whines. “You know I’m picky.”

“That’s why I want to pick. You can’t deprive your tastebuds from flavor.”

“But—”

“Ah ah.” You interrupted. “Pick me up when you’re done.” You lightly pat her cheek and walk towards the exit.

“So?” Katie questioned, wanting to know what happened.

“She rejected me.” Leah replied with a sullen pout.

“Oof. That sucks mate. Thought she’d be the one for you.”

A month passed since the date was executed. Everyone seemed to forget about it, still seeing you in the stands, but no one paying you any mind.

It was a team bonding night. Everyone agreed to have it at Leah’s place tonight. The thing is, everyone knew except for Leah. On purpose? Only Katie knows.

A loud and heavy knock scares Leah from where she lay on the couch. She cautiously walks to the door, looking through the peephole, eyes widening at the sight of her whole team.

“What are you all doing here?” Leah opens the door just a bit.

“It’s team bonding night. Be a dear and let us in.”

Katie hadn’t waited for an answer and let herself in, the rest following after.

“So, what do you have planned?”

“Didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Actually.” Beth butts in. “Did you guys hear that Billie Keynes is releasing another book?”

“Wait. Really?”

“Yeah, in like a week.”

Lia was looking around her friend’s house, snooping more like it.

“What’s it called?”

“I Think—” Lia’s answer gets cut off as she pick up a book from Leah’s shelf. “Leah?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you have Billie Keynes’ new book before it’s been released?”

Leah’s head whips towards Leah so fast that her head could’ve popped off its socket.

“Uh-well-I-um—”

The sound of the front door opening and shutting cut off her stuttering, leaving everyone else to stay silent, not knowing who else it could be. You walk into the living room, freezing at the sight of Leah’s whole team.

“Hey, you’re the girl who reads during our games.” Beth breaks the silence.

“Uh, hi.”

“Wait.” Katie turns to Leah. “I though you said she rejected you.”

“Well, you see—”

“Oh my god! Where’d you find that? I’ve been looking for it everywhere.” You grab the book out of Lia’s hand, flipping through the pages. “My agent almost killed me cause I thought I lost it.”

“Huh?” The team were now confused.

“It won’t be released until another week. It would’ve been horrible to lose it.”

“How do you have this then if it hasn’t been released yet?” Beth questioned, confused.

“I mean when you write it, you get special privileges.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. What do you mean by that?”

“It means how I said it.”

“So you’re Billie Keynes?”

“It’s a pen name. My real name’s Y/N Y/LN.”

“That’s so cool.” Alessia speaks up for the first time.

“You’re like our favorite author.”

“Aw. That’s so sweet.”

“How’d you come up with Billie Keynes anyway.”

“Well, people named William are sometimes called Billie and my wife is from Milton Keynes.”

“Leah! You made me dare you to ask your wife on a date?”

“Yeah. Thank you for that. I’ve got some bonus wifey points for it.” Leah had a smirk on her face, making the team groan and you slap her lightly on the arm.

“Since we’re teammates of your wife, could we get some special privileges?” Beth asks, hoping you know what she means.

“I’ll even sign the book for you.”

[salt-n-salt]

i love your art style soooo much 🥹🥺🥹🥹🥺 i would love to see you draw some yuri like haley x abigail or leah or penny or all of them..... Long Live Lesbianism!!!!

lucky for u i have a secret yuri vault of haley x Leah art that I’ve been hiding under my bed out of fear that it makes no sense for me to ship them since they never interact but u know what. it’s finally time. let me blow the dust off of my yuri bible

[babygirlbites]

Can you please please please have one where Leah is the reader's lesbian awakening? Like... No no the reader is totally straight, she is just... Always staring longingly at girls whenever she's not paying attention, that's totally platonic and straight tho! And sure,she never finds any guys attractive but could gush about girls all day long but that is just because girls are so much prettier... In a platonic way, of course.

And there is absolutely no reason why reader was so reluctant to give Leah back her jacket... Or the fact she unconsciously snuggled into it after someone pointed out as a joke that it looked like a claim.

This, this is totally straight... (It is in fact, very much not straight)

I don’t think you realise how close to home this has hit for me.

Like - CLOSE to home.

As a lesbian myself - this is a cannon event, I can not step in.

Like imagine this for a second;

You’re around the bonfire with Leah’s hoodie wrapped around you; and it just smells so much like her and the more you cuddle in the more it smells like her right?

And that’s like completely normal friendship shit

You’re sniffing her hoodie, like any other pal would

And you’re trying to be so subtle about it at first, but as the night wears on and the fire starts to fill your nostrils and cling to the warm clothing, you have to really fight to chase that Leah smell

So by this point you’re pretty much huffing her collar to get any Leah remnants.

“ if you went to kiss her just kiss her” i feel like it would be either Paul or Jake, everyone’s noticed your not so platonic feelings for Leah but nobody dares mention it other than those two jokers

“ what are you even talking about” you’re instantly defensive and that’s how they know they have you

“ it’s just so obvious that you love her, that’s all” they would say, looking around the others for confirmation, but everyone else is too scared to agree, they all see it but they also have a valid fear of angry Leah Clearwater

“Of course I love her, she’s my best friend” it’s a lie and you know it, because although she IS your best friend - you know you love her in a way you don’t love your other friends.

As in, in the way that you want to feel her warm lips against yours, to taste her breath in your mouth.

Which is crazy because you’re completely not into girls.

I mean there was that girl in summer camp who used to play with your hair and it would give you full body tingles

And there was also the fact that everytime you slept with a boy it felt like an out of body experience, and not the good kind.

And if you’re completely honest with yourself; there is the fact that you once went skinny dipping with Leah while drunk and you think about it every time you’re in the shower.

You’re chewing over these suppressed ideas and feelings with such concentration that you miss the sad look in Leah’s eyes when she is again labled just the best friend.

To Leah, none of this is obvious.

In your recollection of summer camp, the girl is just that, just a friend.

You sleeping with men is just that, you sleeping with men.

And she sure remembers skinny dipping with you, but she doesn’t know that you cling to it the same way she does on late night when she should be asleep.

And so on the walk back, she asks you; because she can’t keep it in any longer,

“ do you really think kissing me would be that bad?”

You almost laugh, but you catch yourself before you do, because there’s so much uncertainty in her voice and when you dare to look at her face, you can see such strong vulnerability behind her fake half smile.

And in that moment you realise, maybe it is worth the risk.

What’s a kiss between friends?

I mean girls do it all the time right?

So you turn around to face her, you take a step closer - not missing how she loses a full breath at your boldness.

And you kiss her.

It’s not much more than a peck on the lips, all you have the confidence for.

It’s just long enough for her to taste whats left of the lip gloss you applied earlier that night.

Just long enough for you to feel the softness of her plush lips against your own.

And then you back away, as if burned.

Your brain suddenly catches up with the rest of your body

And oh my fucking GOD, did you actually just kiss LEAH

What were you thinking?

You start to gather an apology, her wild eyes searching yours for some kind of confirmation that you did actually just do that

Before you can even get the words out she’s on you, faster than what should be humanly possible.

Her hands are on your cheeks and her lips are on yours, but this time it’s not a peck.

It’s years of hidden glances, stolen touches and late night fantasies rolled into one.

Your lips part in a gasp, or a moan? You’re not sure

And she takes the chance to slip her tongue into your mouth, her taste consuming all of your senses.

Your body goes limp, your hands grasping out to cling to her so you don’t fall, landing in her hair and knotting into her dark locks.

Her hands move from your cheeks, one on your hip and one on your back to keep you secure.

And if your brain was able to think of anything other than Leah in that moment, you would probably reach the realisation that

This is not how straight girls kiss

[eyesfullofsttars]

☆ I've waited here for you, everlong...

Sypnosis: Ellie Williams, the guitarist of Lost in the Darkness, has questionable methods for handling her stage fright, which results in an accident where Abigail Anderson, a medical student, has to intervene.

Notes: God, this is so dumb, sorry, I'm a lesbian. Also, it's 1.97k words...

Warnings: This is just fluffy stuff with mentions of alcohol (should I put a warning for that?) But nothing more than Abby and Ellie being silly lesbians for each other, nothing sexual or anything!

Stage fright was a frequent challenge for Ellie, despite being the guitarist of Lost in the Darkness, her band. At times, the anxiety and pressure of stepping onto the stage overwhelmed her, feeling all eyes on her, scrutinizing every move and waiting for her to make a mistake.

This obstacle left her with sweaty hands, making it difficult to move her fingers to play the guitar strings, while her chest heaved with each breath, rising and falling incessantly, without giving her a moment to calm her mind.

Despite these challenges, Ellie had found a solution that, although not the healthiest or ideal, allowed her to continue doing what she loved most in the world: playing music, sharing her songs, and being part of Lost in the Darkness alongside her friends Dina and Jesse.

So, facing the consequences, without much thought before stepping onto the stage, Ellie turned to alcohol, taking a couple of shots to calm her nerves and silence the intrusive thoughts that invaded her mind.

That was Ellie's routine before taking the stage to play guitar in front of everyone, delivering a show without hesitation, knocking back shots of vodka continuously just minutes before any gig, even if it was just a modest one at the local bar— the band's current limit—performing in small venues packed with crowds drawn by their love for music.

The shift had been sudden for Ellie, transitioning from jamming in her old man's garage to local gigs and opening for bigger artists. In essence, the band was inching closer to success, but with each step forward, Ellie's fear mounted, seeking solace in alcohol to silence her racing thoughts.

Typically, it had the desired effect; it freed her, making her more outgoing, encouraging her to express herself more boldly, strumming the guitar freely on stage, harmonizing with Dina, charming the admiring girls. Instead of ignoring the bras tossed her way, she would boldly grab one, spinning it around her finger with a confidence fueled by alcohol.

Without alcohol, Ellie would regress to a mere girl with her guitar, tucked away in a corner, absentmindedly tapping her foot, gazing downward with her short hair obscuring her freckled face, lacking even a trace of the confidence that her natural guitar prowess deserved.

Alcohol was a solution that used to work, except Ellie never considered the possibility that her solution would end up complicating things even more.

Now, she was facing the consequences as her dirty Converse sneakers began to get tangled in the guitar cables while she stumbled around the stage in her drunken state.

Eventually, she ended up tripping over the cables and falling off the stage with a loud crash, eliciting screams of shock and surprise from the audience and causing both Dina and Jesse to express concern and rush to her side.

Abigail Anderson possessed a peculiar charm, extremely chic in her act of privacy, coupled with the money inherited from her family of doctors. She inherently embodied elegance, remaining private and reserved, avoiding public events unrelated to her agenda.

It felt like a privilege to have her attention, even a personal luxury to distract her from her primary responsibility, making appearances anywhere other than her classes, her father's private library, her country club playing tennis, or simply hosting a tea gathering at her apartment.

That's why accepting the invitation from her friends Leah, Nora, Owen, and Manny to go to a small local bar for beer and heavy rock music was a surprise to everyone but enthusiastically celebrated.

Taken as an acknowledgment that Abby needed a break from her upcoming exam season, during which she would disappear without being reachable by anyone for weeks.

So there was Abby, seated in one of the uncomfortable chairs of the small bar, her loose blonde hair with two braids hidden among its length, smiling faintly as she watched all her friends having fun, taking sips from her beer bottle, its scent mixing with her white tank top and light blue shirt.

Abby was gently swaying her head to the rhythm of the second song of the night by the band that had taken the stage, enjoying the guitar solo performed by the girl who elicited screams from all the women present, going wild over the presence of this girl with messy hair, black crop top, and denim jorts, whose body seemed to come alive as she played the strings with precision.

Until the guitar solo was abruptly interrupted by the loud and startling sound of a fall, causing the female voices to switch from desperate screams to gasps of shock, and the band quickly ran off the stage, everyone forming a circle around a spot without moving.

"Did the guitarist fall?" Abby heard that question more as an affirmation from Nora, which quickly caught her attention, making her turn to look at her with a furrowed brow, surprising the entire group.

Once it was established that the guitarist had indeed fallen off the stage, all eyes turned to Abby, the always sought-after option whenever something a medical student could handle occurred, but even more so for Anderson, coming from a family of doctors.

"I'll go check..." Abby whispered timidly, unsure of where to look as she noticed all her friends looking expectantly at her, knowing she was capable of helping in this situation.

Abigail slowly rose from her seat, setting down her beer, running her hand through her hair to clear her vision, and asking for permission as she made her way through the crowd to approach the scene. There, she found the guitarist lying on the ground, surrounded by her two concerned bandmates.

After regaining consciousness, the first thing Ellie remembers seeing is none other than an angel sent by the Lord to her, to take her to the afterlife. This moment would forever be etched in the memory of rock, as she passed away following her guitar solo.

At least she was bidding farewell to the world of the dead in peace after being in the presence of an angel, gently caressing her freckled face with gentle yet firm hands. Despite Ellie never being, nor ever will be, a religious person, she could begin to believe after this.

"Oh God, I'm so glad you woke up," Ellie hears the relieved female voice, managing to focus her clear gaze, snapping out of her reverie. "Are you okay?"

Ellie simply nods slowly, realizing that she was still alive, sitting outside the bar, leaning against the brick wall with the cold night air brushing against her exposed skin.

Her hand grazing over her eyes and as she does, her freckled skin becomes more marked with the black eyeliner already in place. However, this motion allows her to see the woman in front of her more clearly.

Strong features, smooth skin except for a sharp scar on the cheek, long blonde hair, concerned blue eyes focused on no one but her, and hopefully, it would always be this way, in addition to her strong hands, larger than Ellie's face, trying to offer some comfort to the guitarist.

No one was allowed to laugh at Ellie's naivety for mistaking that woman for an angel, not even to laugh, because who wouldn't have done the same?

"Who are you?" Ellie dares to ask, still staring at the woman, her green eyes meeting hers, feeling her heart beat even faster at the beauty before her.

"I'm Abigail. Abigail Anderson, I study medicine..." the woman responds and Ellie immediately gets distracted trying to associate Abby's face with that name, fascinated by the small detail. "Are you okay?"

Amidst the silence and observation, Abby slightly furrows her brow in concern, quickly placing Ellie's face between her hands to look for any signs of a concussion.

Though the closeness intimidates her, Abby tries to remain professional and ignore how attractive Ellie is, with her unusual vibe, smudged eyeliner, disheveled hair, and piercings shimmering in the night light.

"Does your head hurt?" Abby manages to get the words out to ask the right question, while her hands still caress Ellie's face, searching for any signs of pain or confusion.

Ellie shakes her head, feeling a little weak but comforted by Abby's presence. Abby's sweet touch is even more comforting for Ellie, who can't focus on any possible pain in front of her.

"No, everything's fine, I think..." Ellie responds in a whisper, attributing her headache to the mix of alcohol and the fall to the floor. "Thanks for caring, doc" she adds with a smile on her lips, the alcohol still in her system making her more confident and unafraid to flirt with Abby.

A giggle escapes Abby's lips as she sees Ellie's attitude, who quickly shakes her head, assuring her that she's fine. Despite everything, Abby remains concerned, removing her hands from Ellie's face.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Abby whispers, avoiding Ellie's gaze. "Let me know if you feel worse or notice any other symptoms, tell me right away."

Abby's serious tone causes Ellie to snort, nodding obediently, letting Abby know she's listening. Perhaps Ellie misunderstood the situation, or her charms had no effect, or maybe her image lying on the floor wasn't the most attractive.

It's true, Ellie remembers with embarrassment the situation of being sprawled on the floor, completely mesmerized by Abby's image in front of her, caring for her without any ulterior motives. Shame washes over Ellie like the alcohol coursing through her veins, quickly sobering her to reality.

"Sorry..." Ellie mutters under her breath, unsure if Abby can even hear her, but she says it nonetheless, hoping to alleviate some of her humiliation.

Abby listens attentively, but she doesn't respond verbally, just nods quickly, seeking to reassure Ellie that everything is okay, unable to form a coherent sentence herself, longing for Ellie to regain her composure and speak again.

"Thanks for looking out for me. I really appreciate it..." Ellie speaks again, a small smile on her lips, which elicits a smile from Abby too, as if it were contagious, filling her with warmth.

Ellie attempts to rise from the ground on her own, bravely and abruptly, without worrying about the potential consequences, but before she can complete the action, Abby's hand extends towards her, offering assistance in a delicate manner that Ellie quickly accepts without hesitation.

"So... you're heading off alone now?" Abby asks, unsure if it's professional concern for Ellie's well-being or simply a desire to prolong their interaction a little longer.

Although Abby is adept at concealing her intentions, being reserved and formal, a woman who values her privacy, it seems impossible or challenging for anyone to read her and uncover her true motives. But this time, Ellie notices it, realizes it, and discerns the intention behind Abby's words.

Despite Ellie always leaving with her band, escaping from bars to be together, heading to another nightclub to continue the party, always repeating the same routine of getting drunk and picking up girls with the story of being in a band, Ellie nods her head slowly, a smile on her face for understanding what Abby truly means.

"I could use some more medical attention just in case," Ellie responds in an instant, too quick to seem disinterested, but still not trying to hide it beneath the guise of a small joke without taking it too seriously. "Will you walk with me?"

The words catch in Abby's throat, unable to speak as she sees Ellie's smile, her beautiful, freckled face, and that flirtatious yet timid intention mirroring her own. Unable to truly respond, Abby nods dumbly, quickly taking off her jacket and draping it over Ellie's shoulders, covering the sliver of skin exposed by the crop top.

[thiscenturys31stenigma]

Rewriting the Hay family storyline atm bc I hate it so bad and need it obliterated!!

First off...

Just some general edits to the set-up. Lucas is not in young offenders! Look, if we're gonna see Lucas lose his shit at JJ. I'd prefer if it was timed better and done on screen. Leah also does not have a baby because that is stupid. This rewrite also mainly focuses on Leah!! I love Lucas but he has definitely had his time this year. Leah is fun and underrated and I want her to have a storyline that isn't stupid and out of character.

Leah and Vicky are the main couple is this one.

I am not a HUGE shipper of this one tbh. But it has some chemistry and it's lesbian so who am I to complain really. Hollyoaks has ZERO lesbian couples and I'm writhing in pain. This was also partly an excuse to have Chappel Roan playing. They do have some trials and tribulations though (as is the Hollyoaks way)

Lucas works at The Loft.

I know why some people might think that's a bit ooc but I need Ethan and Lucas to be friends for this. It's either this or Dillon Junior James Michael Steven Barnes Hay-Ray The First so take your pick lol. I know he's underage (or I think he is???) but he'll be a cleaner and Ethan will babysit him during his shifts it makes sense guys.

At the start, Ethan and Vicky are together but Leah and Vicky are kissing and stuff behind his back

Again, I know why some people might not like this one but I think it's believable, especially for a show like Hollyoaks. I'm not a fan of Ethan and Vicky but I'm even LESS of a fan of Robbie and Vicky and they are not permanent anyway.

Leah and Vicky have a secret-situationship type deal

Not much I can say about this one tbh. Leah probably tells Lucas first, which is where the trials and tribulations between them start.

Lucas and Leah fight a bit

As I half-mentioned earlier. Lucas and Ethan are friends due to working at The Loft and all that. Lucas is not happy about Leah being with his friends girlfriend and they have a disagreement. Dillon notices that Lucas amd Leah aren't speaking and tries to talk to Lucas about it, but he can't tell Dillon the full story beacause that would inadvertandly out Leah. This devolves into a fight and then they can have some drama too.

Leah and Vicky fight

This is where the idea for this rewrite came from actually! Leah (at this point) has accepted her feelings for Vicky. Vicky has not. I know this giving HayRay flashbacks but...idk I can't really defend myself on that one 💀 anyway they fight about how this is affecting the bond between Leah and her brother, Vicky and Ethan and any stuff that may have happened between this. Casual by Chappel Roan playing in the background. This is non-negotiable I fear.

So that's basically all I have!!

I know this probably has some oversights and mistakes but this is honestly just the basics of an idea. Anyway, someone put me in that writers room before I go insane.

[lastsurvivor-a]

~ Character Info Sheet

name: Ellen Louise Ripley

name meaning: Ellen is the Medieval form of Helen, Louise is the feminine form of Louis, and Ripley comes from the name of various English towns, from Old English rippel "grove, thicket" and leah "woodland, clearing".

alias/es: Ripley

ethnicity: American

one picture you like best of your chara:

The CLASSIQUE Ellen Ripley stance

three h/cs you've never told anyone:

I usually tell people my headcanons or post them when I think them up, but here's some random ones that I don't think I've outwardly said:

Ripley didn't always know she was lesbian. It took her two husbands to realize that it really wasn't a "phase" or just a weird feeling. She genuinely just likes women!

She's very much a butch. Won't catch her dead in heels, a dress, or a skirt.

Ties into headcanon 1, but she doesn't regret having Amanda at all. Sure, she realized too late that she mostly dated and got married to men due to pressure, but she loves Amanda and wouldn't trade her for the world.

three things your character likes doing in their free time:

Sports (basketball, tennis, skiing, skating)

Collecting sneakers

Woodworking

eight people your character likes / loves:

I did canon relationships she'd have bc i love too many of you guys to choose from

Amanda, her daughter

Her parents

Her old Nostromo crew (sometimes)

JONESY!!!

two things your character regrets:

Letting Kane on that damn ship (and not quarantining him like they should've)

Working for too much / not spending more time with her daughter

two phobias your character has:

Nihilophobia – fear of nothingness (like the void of space, being alone in such a place, etc.)

Ncytophobia - fear of the dark

Both are gained AFTER her experience with the Xenomorph.

tagged by: @paramounticebound <3

tagging: YOU !!!

[foxymacchiato]

Attack on Titan OC - Bethany Sawyer🌷💜 🦋

♡. ToyHou.se | Instagram | AO3

~

Name: Bethany Sawyer

Meaning: Bethany- house of figs; Sawyer- woodcutter

Nickname(s): Beth, Bethy (by Joanna), the Temptress of Karanes

Alias (if any): N/A

Age: 17 (850); 21 (854)

Gender: Female

Nationality: Eldian (Celtic descent)

Birthday: January 26th, 833

Birthplace: Karanes District, Wall Rose

Current Residence: A small village on the outskirts of Wall Rose

Sexual Orientation: Lesbian

Relationship Status: Taken, later married

Language(s) spoken: Eldian

Life-Long Dream: To inspire others in the town with the fine arts and have a family with the love of her life

Goal(s): To marry Joanna, to rebel against the Military Police, to make sure Joanna's family is taken care of while she's away, to advocate for the Scout Regiment against the rebellion

Like(s): Flowers, dancing, upbeat music, festivals, animals, exploring new places, making people smile, the fine arts

Dislike(s): Intolerance, the Military Police, Joanna's mother, rainy days, cold weather, birds, tomatoes

Bad Habit(s): She can be snarky when she wants to be, is a bit of a perfectionist and sometimes takes it overboard, doesn’t get a whole lot of sleep, procrastinates on important tasks, gossips

Hobbies: Dancing, making flower crowns, singing

Fear(s): Losing Joanna to the titans, failing to take care of her family, the Military Police harming her partner 

Personality: Kind-hearted, charming, flirtatious, creative, extravagant, perfectionist, artsy, dreamy

Favorites(not necessary)-

Food(s): Sweet potatoes

Color(s): Lavender

Season(s): Spring

Activities: Dancing, singing, acting, picking flowers, hiking, making flower crowns

Time of Day: Mornings

Extras: Art- fine arts, acting; Animals- toads, butterflies; Literature- poetry; Flower- tulips

Appearance-

Height: 5’4” (163 cm)

Weight: 119 lbs. (54 kg)

Hair style: Long, wavy, bangs centered on her face

Hair Color: Dirty blond

Eye Color: Gunmetal blue

Skin Tone: Ivory

Body Shape/Build: Slim frame, skinny waist, flexible

Birthmarks: N/A

Scar(s): N/A

Other: N/A

Relationships-

Parent(s): Jared Sawyer (father), Cynthia Sawyer (mother)

Sibling(s): N/A

Other Relative(s): Diesel (pet dog), Joanna Elytis (wife), Filip Elytis (father-in-law)

Love Interest: Joanna Elytis 

Best Friend(s): N/A

Friend(s): Tay Schuyler, Mel Oglethorpe, Nathanael Schuyler

Enemy(ies): Leah Elytis 

Rival(s): The town shrews that demonize her

Quotes:

“People seem to have this idea that I’m some siren trying to seduce them to follow a ‘wicked path’—I’m just here trying to brighten other people’s days and celebrating life. They like to make everyone else miserable instead of taking a moment to just let loose and enjoy what they have.”

“So you're friends of Jo's? She talked so much about all of you in her letters. It’s very nice to finally meet you.”

“I know I wasn’t thrilled when you told us you would be going away, and it’s been scary not having you around or not knowing when...what I’m trying to say is I am so proud of you. Just please promise me you’ll come back so we can start our life together.”

History/Life: Bethany Sawyer is a young dancer from Karanes District and the lover of Scout Regiment member Joanna Elytis. She is the daughter of two theater actors, and they are often traveling around Wall Rose performing the fine arts; sometimes Bethany would come along with them to give her a chance to experience new things, and other times they would leave her with a kind caretaker of the inn they resided in. This gave her a sense of independence, and she would often spend her time out of the house, sometimes leaving the sight of her caretaker to go out and about on her own, which has given her caretaker quite a scare a couple of times.

Being the daughter of performers, Bethany has formed a love for the fine arts even at a young age. She grew to have an adoration for dancing, and she loved to dance whenever there were musicians playing music in Karanes. Her dancing quickly became the charm of the town, often drawing in crowds to watch her dance as though no one was watching. Aside from a few jeering comments and rumors spreading that she was a siren that was trying to lure others down a path of sin, Bethany continued to dance and use it as a way to bring joy and positivity to others. It especially became a huge benefit for her when people would throw coins at her, and she would use this as a way to save up that money to help those who were less fortunate than her. 

One night in the spring of 845, Bethany was celebrating another festive night with fellow musicians and had finished up another one of her dances when she suddenly crossed paths with a young girl who looked to be in a hurry. Bethany caught up to her upon seeing she was crying and attempted to comfort her, and she helped cheer her up by taking her to explore the beauties of the town at night. The girl introduced herself as Joanna Elytis (someone who always admired Bethany from a distance), and it wouldn’t be long after that night that Bethany and Joanna developed romantic feelings for each other. Joanna’s father accepted Bethany with open arms and was thrilled to see that Joanna had someone that cared for well-being; she began to spend more of her time at their home after the departure of Joanna’s mother, and the young couple would talk for hours about what they wanted for their future together. Initially, Bethany was hesitant about the idea of Joanna enlisting in the Garrison, but she knew the benefits would be to help them in being able to start a life together the way they wanted. They still kept in close touch by writing to each other almost every day, discussing their plans to leave Karanes and have their dream wedding and adopt children. While Joanna was away, Bethany permanently moved in to help look after Filip and take care of their dog Diesel. Joanna would end up changing career paths after being motivated by the fall of Wall Maria to fight back against the invading titans, so it was very hard for Bethany not to worry so much about her well-being—she tried many times to sway her decision and convince her to go to the Garrison like she said, but she knew her hard-headed girlfriend wouldn’t change her mind once she made her decision. To ease her anxiety, Joanna promised to make time to see her girlfriend after they return for their mission, which came to a brief halt postponed when word quickly spread that there was a traitor amongst the scouts. Bethany traveled to the capitol to protest against the Military Police wrongfully imprisoning the members of the Scout Regiment, causing an uproar in the town that were already becoming more critical of the government. After the rightful heir to the throne was taken by Queen Historia Reiss, Joanna and Bethany were reunited at last, and Joanna made the quick decision to propose to Bethany and marry her as soon as possible, knowing she would soon possibly be facing death when the mission to reclaim Walk Maria was approved. Joanna and Bethany had a small wedding ceremony in a small village outside of Wall Rose with Joanna’s comrades and Filip (as well as a pampered Diesel) attending. It would be one of the best nights that Bethany would forever cherish in her heart.

After Joanna was tragically killed in battle, Bethany resented the Scout Regiment and forever mourned for her fallen lover. She still maintained a friendship with most of Joanna’s friends and would write to them often, however she saw the Scout Regiment as responsible for leading Joanna and many others to their deaths. She continued to use her art of dance to in memory of the love of her life.

Bonus Facts

-Her voice: Japanese- Rumi Ochiai (Rouge the Bat, Sonic the Hedgehog); English- Jamie Marchi (Chizuru Maihara, Ouran High School Host Club)

-She’s an Aquarius.

-She smells like sugar plums.

-Her character design is based off of Aurora from Sleeping Beauty.

-She and her family are middle-low class.

-She hates wearing shoes and likes to walk around barefooted.

-Her role in the story was going to be a lot smaller and have her only be mentioned in flashbacks and by name, even perhaps one small role, but I thought it would be nice to add a little more detail about her character and give her a bigger role.

-In a modern AU, Bethany would be very much into idol culture and be a theater kid

-Her spirit animal is an orchid mantis

~

OC Profile Credit- AliceCantBeStopped; Divider- fairytopea

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD Fanbase Speculation on Our Mystery Person

@galadrieljones

Also for a sneak peek into some truly moronic notions, see the replies! How many people think Daryl is going to float all the way to France on the back of a capsized skiff? more than you think!

(Idk for some of us the idea that there may possibly be more to the story than what we’re shown in five seconds is apparently too much to bear lol)

I’m sorry for being a bit of a bitch tonight but seriously if this is the state of the average fan right now it’s no wonder they’re going kamikaze on Fear and just making whatever they want for the probably four dozen or so of us fans who actually watch the shows and care about what’s going on.

(I should say there are nice comments too. But far too many of these for comfort )

Some insight into the fandoms thoughts on the mystery hands:

Many ppl saying it’s Troy via the spoiler. But many ppl also confused because the hands look somewhat feminine. Some guess it’s Al.

@wdway

I was hoping you would keep an eye on the chatter today about the strange person. It seems everyone's having the same back and forth this week are about it being Troy. Al is interesting except that it would mean that she returned and bleached her hair. I don't think a lot of people have noticed the hair. I think it would be a major mention if they did. Love to see if anybody else notices the hair or if it's something that TWD will eventually mention.

@galadrieljones

I’ll keep looking in and see if anyone is talking about the hair!

@wdway

They made sure that viewer sight line was on the table and the person's hands, there might not be many of us who noticed the hair. Not everyone is looking for symbols, clues like we do. And that's exactly why whether it's Beth or Troy or someone we've never seen that blonde hair was meant for TD. No doubt in my mind.

@wdway

I guarantee you that all the people that read her response is going, "what blonde hair?"

@galadrieljones

Yeah there is not a lot of mention of the blond hair.

Okay so honestly it seems like not a lot of ppl watch Fear at all. Lots of ppl excited about Troy. Scanned twitter and Reddit. Only found that one single mention of the blond hair so far.

@wdway

Meant for us!!!!!

@galadrieljones

Some are catching on…

As ppl talk more about it, many are predicting it’s Al.

Just means that whatever tptb did, it’s working. Lots of ppl think it’s Troy due solely to the leak, but enough ppl are calling bullshit, because the hands and wrists are too feminine.

Starting to think the “leak” was on purpose.

My favorite is the person who calls her “Sally”

@wdway

Really would tptb really do something like that? Leak information to get people talking. I'll have to think about this, I'm shocked.

@galadrieljones

This is Al. She has short hair, she is a lesbian, very butch. I 100% understand why ppl think it’s Al. But the blond hair? It’s bizarre here, and specific. How many fully blond characters have we had in the show? There’s June, Madison, Beth, Andrea, Leah, am I missing anyone? None of them is Al. Adding the blond hair is clearly meant to throw a wrench in the discussion. Everyone thinks it’s Troy but like clearly it’s not Troy, even if he does have weird little hands. Maybe it’s Al? But why tease blond hair? That part is what’s so weird. Sure ofc Al could have dyed her hair blond. But then anybody could. Just very weird, especially after Leah.

@wdway

I just got it. People counted down who it could be and figured she was someone that might return from the cast and that all this time she's been "lost" on an island and her hair turned blonde, haha

@galadrieljones

The same ppl who are confused about how Daryl will get to France will now demand that this is Al, who was last seen in West Virginia. That said, maybe it’s Al. But wtf works Al have to do with Troy? Why would she have the hammer Madison used to kill him?

If Al was tracking Madison for the CRM it wouldn’t be this hard. Madison worked for PADRE for years, returned frequently to the same spot in Texas. She is on an oxygen tank and clearly can’t get very far on her own. She needs PADRE to keep her alive. It makes no sense why Al would be tracking her from Mexico

Troy makes the most sense, but the blond hair is trippy. Maybe it’s a woman related to Troy, like a wife or girlfriend. We saw one rumor Troy had a daughter Madison took. But I also saw some discussion on Reddit that some ppl think Troy actually won’t be a villain, that this is misleading, that he is actually trying to earn back Madison’s love by returning Alicia and Strand to her. I actually don’t remember tho if Troy knew Strand.

Strand wasn’t at the ranch, and he only would have met him right at the end.

@wdway

I think it's just that people remember the actress from the series Lost and in that series she had blonde hair. That's the best reasoning I can do. Makes no sense to me. I truly think if they were going to tease about Al that it would not be in that setting it would be tied to the crm.

Strand was part of the dam episodes though, right.

@wdway

Is this person carrying some type of bag under the coat. There's two objects that seems to be sticking up could those objects be similar to what with they left behind on the table.

The object on the right is what I'm curious about, the person has just stepped away and it looks like wearing tan pants.

There's a water canteen on the right, in the middle what is that object? And then to the far left bronze colored what is that? The middle object reminds me of something but it's so far out there that I hesitate to even say it but I'll do it anyway, it looks like a fold up music stand.

I know I'm skipping back to Morgan and Frosty. The only colors on frosty is black, white and green, the scarf is green. It has the top hat but typically the top hat is black and the scarf is, I believe red. I just think this is a huge clue especially since there are black and white curtains hanging next to to it that the Walkers come through that window breaking the glass. This along with the strange blonde person is just blowing my mind.

@galadrieljones:

Strand was part of the dam episodes though, right?

Yeah he was there. He is first a prisoner, then Daniel frees him after killing Dante. Strand promises to help Daniel find Ophelia. He takes Daniel back to Rosarito, but it’s overrun. Daniel then abandons him and Strand is super messed up and wanders back to the coast where he finds the Abigail. That’s when he talks to the Russian cosmonaut, who gives him new hope. He burns down the Abigail, and in this scene is wearing his aviators.

But then he ends up in Mexicali at the bazaar, imprisoned and in debt. Madison frees him, and then they end up at the dam, trying to bring water back to the ranch. Strand ultimately ends up making some sort of deal with the Proctors, and it’s a little convoluted but he makes the deal to ensure Madison, Nick, and Alicia’s freedom. He has to try and empower Daniel tho to make good on the deal. This is when he ends up shooting Daniel in the face.

One of the last discussions we see with Troy before he “dies” is as they’re planting the C4 under the dam, and Nick runs in to tell Madison that Strand sold then out to the Proctors. Madison says they need to meet up with Daniel, but Nick says that Daniel will kill Troy if he sees him. This is because Daniel blames Troy for Ofelia’s death. Ofelia was bitten in the air vents when the ppl at broke jaw are confined to the air right pantry after Troy leads the walker horde to the ranch. She was trying to fix the broken fans.

So Troy has beef with both Madison and Daniel. But I don’t remember if he ever met Strand. He might have, with Nick, at the Bazaar, when the two are “harvesting” walkers for adrenochrome, which they’re selling to the bartender. So idk if Troy would know Strand. I’ll have to go back and check.

Man season 3 was crazy lmao

Madison killed Troy in front of Nick. It messed Nick up bad, and after the dam remember he becomes weirdly codependent with Madison. It’s why he ends up dead. But before that, Daniel interrogates Nick about Troy and the horde b it Nick never sells Troy out. The two were best friends, even after Nick killed Troy’s father. Troy is obsessed with Madison and with the Clark family.

I’m trying to think of another proxy here. Troy is a bit of a “Governor” archetype but it’s different than that because he was a pseudo-son to Madison. His attachment to her is pathological but not necessarily hateful. I would not be surprised if he wanted to help her, even after she tried to kill him. It is pure speculation but it reminds me of the apostle Peter. He betrays Christ three times but still ends up by his side. Madison is the Christ figure here, which would make Troy the Peter archetype. The dog biting the hand that feeds him. Possibly there’s an Edwards parallel? If Edwards helped Beth survive the gunshot, then helped her escape Grady, he would be an interesting parallel, betraying her multiple times before ultimately ending up at her side.

@galadrieljones

I haven’t looked closely at that metal item in the back. I will today. I took the metal cylinder thing with a handle as a thermos? Maybe for coffee. I have no idea what the military looking object laying on its side is. I thought maybe a flashlight, but I really don’t know.

@wdway

These are totally random and out of order but this one struck me because of the Heavenly light shining onto the water.

Just wanted to show this again. I believe this is a large knife on the right side remind me of how Daryl wore Beth's knife. I know I'm probably reaching, but what the heck.

@galadrieljones

fall is a long time to wait. They want us talking and reaching. If they wanted it to be Troy, cut and dried, they wouldn’t have added the hair and made the hands like that. I have now looked at this dumb hands so many times. I feel that while they’re a bit masculine it’s ultimately the wrists and forearms that are too feminine. Troy had weird little hands but he doesn’t have lady wrists and his forearms are defined

Also I feel if they wanted it to be Al, there would be a hint that it’s Al, other than the fact that the hands are feminine.

I want to draw out tptb somehow. They have been really quiet about Fear. Everything revolves around the spin-offs.

[butchdykekondraki]

i cant even imagine what leah was thinking when she saw clef like. imagine you walk in, fully expecting to see the Very Obviously A Man guy everyone fears at the foundation, and its just. its a butch lesbian. the "man" everyone is scared of is just a butch lesbian with a fat rack. so you're like "why are you-" and she just cuts you off to tell you she needs to make this place a falcon Now. and you're like "...ok sure." so she takes you, by helicopter no less, to some fucking site you have never been to. and she keeps playing the fucking mandolin during this (which is weird considering everyone talks about her ukelele and not her FUCKING MANDOLIN) and at this point you're just freaked out about it because she keeps dodging the questions of why she's a girl now, and everyone just.. doesn't acknowledge it. everyone is acting like this is normal. so at this point you're practically going fucking insane because she has once again put you in a helicopter, but this time to try to maneuver a huge fucking pigeon (that's right it wasn't even a hawk it was a fucking PIGEON this whole time) to your home site. and then it falls off the rope and is electrocuted to death because it tried to fly away but apparently the foundation clips its wings (which you previously did not know). so finally, FINALLY, you get to ask "why the Fuck do you have tits" and she just hits you with "oh i was fucking around with the gender switcher rock lol. why do u think im escorting you around idiot." as if you're the insane one in this situation.

[aubigney]

Our Wives Under The Sea lacks the depth to be a truly great novel (a review)

i have to admit that i’m one of those people who will read a book or watch a film or series because “it’s got lesbians in it”. i’m in lesbians with lesbians. my friend doe told me about this book and since i’m trying really hard to get back into reading (and listening to audiobooks. download libby! it’s free!) i decided to give this one a go. while listening to it i had the brilliant idea to start a series where i critique the story writing in books i come across — ones that need it, because obviously there are plenty i don’t have the skills or expertise to critique. this seemed like the perfect first book for this series. it’s interesting, well-written, and about lesbians, but as you’ll find reading this review, it has its problems.

there will be spoilers in this review! sorry to make this a comprehensive review but i figured i might as well because it’s my blog and i have a lot of thoughts. and i’m sorry that the tense is all over the place, i don’t have the spoons to correct it. just pretend it’s all in present tense, thank u love u mwah

let’s start with a short synopsis. the book is told through dual perspectives/POVs of both halves of a relationship. miri is the first character we’re introduced to: an anxious wreck who cares for her wife, leah, and doesn’t have much going on outside of her. leah is the second POV character, and she has just come back from being trapped in a submarine for four months. the book details their relationship during the period where leah has come back—she’s distant, cold, and dissociates frequently, leaving miri to anxiously fret over the state of their love for each other. not a lot happens in the book. the pages are filled with snapshots of leah’s time in the submarine, miri and leah’s brief interactions when she gets back, trips to a counsellor, and flashbacks to better days. the later chapters in the novel are where it first starts to pick up, an interesting choice which packs in conspiracy theories and tales of monsters deep under the ocean, but because these are introduced so late, they leave the book feeling unfinished and rushed.

if i could sum up my thoughts on this book in one sentence, i would say it spends too much time on miri’s anxious mess of an inner world and not enough time on leah’s fascinating time at the bottom of the ocean.

let’s start with the things i liked about the book. there were parts that absolutely took my breath away and some that made me sob so hard i wanted to curl into a ball and hide under the earth forever. miri details an anecdote leah told her about taking her first girlfriend to the aquarium where leah worked after hours and finding that the octopus had died. in this part, miri details how things would have gone differently if she had been the one leah took to the aquarium, how the octopus mary would still be alive. even writing this post makes me tear up because death just gets me and it was written so matter of factly that the desperation was very evident: miri wants to turn back time and rewrite a history where everything is good, great even, instead of what she has now.

i also liked leah’s recollections of her time in the ocean. i actually loved leah’s POV because she has so much to say about life, death, relationships and marine biology. i was so rapt by her sections that they made miri’s sections listless by comparison. i honestly wish the entire novel had been through leah’s perspective. i would have much preferred a whole novel or novella about being trapped under the ocean with a massive sea monster. leah describing the ocean and her fear of drowning coinciding with things like disappointing her father and sea monsters is amazing. these parts are done so incredibly well, especially considering the miri parts are so poorly written.

this book is half relationship breaking down and half horror story, but never meshes those two well. the body horror elements are interesting, but my main problem is that miri’s parts aren’t written well enough to make me like the book as a whole. there are many instances of “filter words” or what i call “sensing words” — words like thought, felt, imagined, heard, etc. words that tell us what the character’s experience is instead of describing it. miri’s parts are full of these. some egregious examples include:

“i felt good to have scrapped and apologised. moving around the party, i registered the ache between us, and felt grateful, irritable, loved her easily.”

in this passage we have: “felt,” “registered,” and then “felt” again. this is a prime example of the poor writing and something that both many authors do and many critics say not to do. clearly i’m on the side of the critics. the reason that filter / sensing words are bad is because they filter the experience that the reader has of being fully immersed in the novel. in a first person perspective (meaning “i”, and “me” perspective) if a character sees something, we know that they see something because the narrator describes it on the page. there’s no need for the character to say, “I saw this go down,” because by virtue of it being included we know the character saw it.

this can be played with more in and second person perspective, but it’s still more common in contemporary literature and genre fiction to filter the action through one character’s perspective, at least for that chapter if not the whole book. i would love to write a whole post about this or maybe do a video about it. it’s a very complex topic and leaves a lot of room for debate.

sensing words remove the reader from the action. they encourage laziness in the writer, because the writer can’t take out the filter sections and leave it like that. saying “it went down” is scarier than writing “i saw it go down” because the first one requires you to write more, whereas the second one allows you, even forces you, to rest easy. but i don’t want this whole review to be about sensing words. at least towards the end miri details the things she remembers without putting “i remember” in front of every item in that list, so i can’t say the writing didn’t improve right before the clock strikes 12. it’s incredibly important in horror to keep the pace and immediacy of the action. filtering the reader from the action in a horror story removes the impact the horror has on the reader. the section where leah’s eye explodes should have been written a lot better to make more of an impact. in miri’s sections, everything was made into an action with very little description, imagery, or literary techniques. miri does this, and then she does that, and then she feels sad about this. there is introspection in her sections, but it’s hollow and uninspiring, especially compared to leah’s. this is usually, but not always, due to the sensing words.

the most frustrating thing about this book for me is that miri is complicit in the breakdown of a relationship she claims she’s sad about breaking down. this book is half about mourning the loss of someone who both is and isn’t really gone, someone who metaphorically died and came back wrong. the sadness of the book rests on how miri mourns their relationship — but this is not believable nor sad.

throughout most of her sections, miri complains that leah isn’t the same person she was before the trip and that they can’t connect because leah spends all her time in the bath. but one of the few instances in the beginning of the novel when leah and miri are on the couch watching tv, leah tells miri a story, and miri ignores her and turns back the tv. she says something like “i pretend to watch the television and miss my wife.” girl she is TALKING TO YOU. she’s RIGHT THERE. it’s baffling. she mourns a relationship that isn’t over and we’re supposed to be sad about that.

another thing that ticked me off was how miri’s sections don’t have a structure. there were a lot of flashbacks that were seemingly thrown in randomly with little to no connection to the romance. there was a flashback about how she lied about having to feed cats, and for the life of me i can’t figure out why it was in there. i think it was to show that miri was having a hard time while missing leah, but all she did was… lie about having to feed some cats. there’s no shame in having a subdued novel, but it comes back to my number one pain point: miri’s sections are not well written enough to make them worth reading.

but leah’s sections are so good! she has a job, friends, a sea monster to befriend, the looming and ever-present threat of death by submarine, as well as all these flashbacks to her childhood with her parents. miri, by comparison, has leah and some friends. at the end she also has juna, which leads me to my next point.

the most exciting miri things happen way too far into the novel. the book is around 35 chapters, and chapter 29 starts with juna, the sister of one of the people on the submarine, talking to miri about what went down as the submarine literally went down. and then right as juna tells miri about what REALLY went down, the novel cuts to the next section.

like, seriously? that was the most interesting part of miri’s sections and the author just cut away! over the last few chapters it mentions a conspiracy theory that everyone involved with the submarine had about the company possibly stranding them down there on purpose, but it’s never explored — and i have no idea why. that could have been soooo interesting! that could have fuelled miri’s sections! in between caring for leah and mourning their relationship, she could have worked to uncover the truth about the conspiracy, and then not noticed how complicit she was in the relationship breaking down. that would have been so much better! she even says something like “the conspiracy should be a lot more interesting to me than it is” which is how i feel about this book.

there were some interesting phrases but they were few and far between. when the author tried to create imagery, it failed, particularly in this section: “coffee stained and sticky to the touch, long chunks of text irregularly underline… as though the previous owner had been using it to build a monster in a shed.” How can an underlined book be a monster in a shed? imagery has to make sense for it to be effective. something she could have done is connect this imagery to what leah was going through, maybe even “build a monster under the sea.” and then go on to write more using this imagery with better metaphors and similes. you can really judge how good a writer is by how the only literary technique they use is simile (like, as) and refuse to elaborate for more than one phrase. except that julia armstrong IS a good writer because leah’s sections were amazing! grrrrrr.

honestly, miri’s sections felt rushed and uncared for. if i was to guess, i would say that julia armfield wrote miri’s sections last because either she liked leah’s sections more or because she realised she needed to / her editor told her to write more, and then she ran out of time before the deadline to write it well. there is a tendency among writers to write the most exciting and interesting parts first, but that means you’re going to have to write all the worst parts of the book last. when you don’t enjoy what you write, it shows. you need to take the time to make sure this is what you want to write and this is how you want to write it. this book could have easily just been leah in the submarine and i would have loved that, but instead the author chose to write half the book in a way that was extremely disappointing and a lot worse than the sections she actually enjoyed writing. julia armfield writes a lot about the ocean (link at the end) and it really shows that she has a deep love for it, so it’s baffling that she wrote half the book through the eyes of a character who hates and blames the ocean for taking her wife away.

the most interesting thing to me personally about this book was the monster. my god, but i am a sucker for a good monster. it didn’t scare me like some book monsters do, but that could have been because i was listening to the audiobook and i find myself more immersed in the written form or the visual form, and less so in audio form. still, it was cool as fuck and leah writing her name in the logbook to show to the creature was intense — i fucking love it.

the last thing i’ll say about this is that the ending feels justified. sometimes we really do have to let go of the ones we loved. leah is no longer fit to live on this earth, and while the ending made me sob in my bed for like 20 minutes, it’s cathartic and well-earned.

that’s where i’ll leave this review. feel free to reply with any of your thoughts or link me to your own review! let me know if you enjoyed this book, or what you enjoyed about it! i also use storygraph but i’m going to write some reviews on tumblr because they are so. so. so long and i don’t know how interested people would be of my review on other platforms. cheers, big ears.

links:

[redheadbigshoes]

🧜🏽‍♀️i genuinely think i’m a lesbian and i really want to accept that about myself but i’m nervous bc i’ve had a lot of male partners and i know i loved my ex bf very much. but even when i was with him i would secretly think i’d be happier with a girl. every time i’ve gotten a bf, i was actually looking for a gf first. i know i’m most likely experiencing comp het but i just don’t know how to let go of that social conditioning. sometimes i feel like i make myself accept men’s advances bc i’m lonely and don’t think i’ll find the love i’m actually looking for so i settle for what i’m given.

what are some things i can do to accept and embrace my identity more? will i ever let go of the notion that i have to marry a man to have a happy life? i feel like i should talk to a therapist about this but i can’t afford one rn. i’ve been doing other self growth/healing things on my own so i just want to know where i should begin in this journey. it’s so hard when everywhere i look girls are talking about their bfs or their husbands.

i also want to ask you what are some of ur favorite wlw blogs or youtube accounts or reddit communities or movies/shows/books? i just really want to submerge myself in the sapphic culture, i feel like that would help me with my self acceptance.

sorry for such a long ask. i’ve been stalking ur account for a while now and have been wanting to ask u questions. i just was a bit nervous i suppose 😅

Love isn’t necessarily romantic. If your ex bf was someone nice and that you cared about that love you felt for him could simply be a platonic love, like a kind of love we feel might for friends or even family members.

Considering you’re someone who seem to have recently discovered you like women as well (pls correct me if I’m wrong) I think something that could help you accept your identity and see that you don’t have to marry a guy is watching sapphic movies. There’s movies like Portrait of a Lady On Fire, Imagine Me and You, My First Summer… (there’s others too). I follow 3 sapphic couples on Youtube that could also help you accept your identity. Their Youtube Channels are: Caitlin and Leah, Abbie & Julia, Julie and Camila. There’s a lesbian podcast called Lavender Menace.

I think I responded the youtube accounts hahah! Those 3 movies I mentioned I watched it and I liked it, there’s also Fear Street (it’s a horror trilogy). Some shows: The Fosters, Sex Lives of College Girls, Orphan Black (the sapphic couple isn’t really main character), A League of their Own (I’ve never watched it but a lot of people talk about it), The Haunting of Bly Manor… (there’s others that I cannot really remember rn). About books I made a post some time ago about the sapphic books I’ve read, you can find that post here.

No need to be sorry! I absolutely love responding these asks and I don’t mind if they’re long!

[blackberrylemonade]

eternal fear is that people inexplicably think i’m flirting when i’m just being nice

[nerice]

oc ask meme! 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, and 47!

*rolls up my sleeves all the fucking way* let me introduce u to so many freaks. also linking my oc page again here not everyone's on there but for refrance!!!! this got long so im actually using the humble readmore function for once but im gonna showcase one answer up here and that is:

has anyone drawn fanart of your ocs? if yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

i love all the art you n charlotte have drawn but this pic you did of reina. man (i cry everytime i look at it, she's SO BEAUTIFUL here you got her down better than i have ever drawn her <33333)

first oc ever: a young girl who gets her throat taken out by a big cat at a circus performance; who is now a young boy called honey who gets his throat taken out by kizuna while he wanders the swamplands searching for his brother! :D

personal favourite oc: absolutely without any doubt or competition whatsoever this goes to sky lmao. rabbit daughter of my life <33333

have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else? nope! all organically grown ocs in my brain tbh i find the practice of adoptables etc a little weird but that's just bc it, for me personally, conceptually, just does not work at all lmao

if you could make only one of your ocs popular/known, who would it be? nightmare scenario that guarantees callout posts tbh but after reading a billion articles on traditional female villains for my thesis i am slightly tempted to blaze knowledge abt faye lmao. high femme lesbian villain (power armor notwithstanding) we need more of em <3

are your ocs part of any story or stories? only have story ocs!! if i think up a guy he comes pre-equipped with problems which i will somehow slot into the grander verse, i don't make the rules

sunshine oc: alissa!!!! tragic girl who dies too young but before then is the absolute light in the life of everyone she touches ;_; there is one au where she lives and aims to use the lifesong to help more people, in the process of which she becomes eliada's sworn enemy & also possibly romances damia. long story

troublemaker ocs: handsdown linn wins this category lol. always up to no good, a nsfw criminal menace <3

oc otp: YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT IS JUMIE/REINA. thank you for drawing them make out it gives me life <33333

introduce an oc that means a lot to you (and explain why): gestures at reina. gestures at sky. gestures harder *camera pans over i am now on the floor sobbing* yknow?

introduce oc that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like: jumie used to be very mellow and leaned most strongly into the caretaking persona (it still comes out with sky a lot ;_;) but when i actually got around to writing her boy. oh boy. takes no shit and vibe checks every single person she comes across (for better or for worse) lawful good paladin behavior

which one of your ocs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going? leah!!! unfortunate tendency to disappear on people bc of whatever piqued her interest & also knows no fear/loves freaky and spooky stuff. noah, her scaredy-dragon bodyguard, is as exasperated as he is close to a heart attack at all times

pick one oc of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really) cait, avery, and jumie wld all run weapon aes focused blogs (swords, knives, spears&bows respectively) and would probably end up sending each other hatemail over their weapon preferences lmao

introduce an oc who is not quite human: kizuna!!! typical choice here lol but. fun-sized (bear shaped) omnivorous murder bunny who can shapeshift into the people she devours. has a little identity crisis from it eventually, its ok

do you have any certain type when you create your ocs? do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? it’s time to confess: i dont set out to create ocs so much as they just show up unasked on the doorstep of my brain but i absolutely love 2 give ocs a truckload of extremely visible scars (and some hidden ones for funsies) face scars are one of the greatest honors i can bestow <3

has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your ocs as their child? various yeah most frequently adopted are leah (statistical daughter of all time) and belle+sky for trauma reasons lmao

[peelingitwithpeels]

What I want from Season 3

◦ MORE from Henry, Scotty, and Bo specifically more details about their lives before the island (Scotty’s episode mainly focused on their friendship and some bits of Bo’s life)

◦ The risk on this island is bigger than both islands combined (for drama purposes)

◦ As much as Leah has been unraveling what’s going on, I don’t think Leah should be in a leadership role yet

◦ Leah not being the only one to find out things ( I love Leah but that’s something I always wondered why she was the only one figuring things like for example in S3, let Shelby (if she’s not the operative ) figure out who the operative is or Fatin figure out they’re being watched by someone (Seth)

◦ Fatin showcasing her fears and panics about still being on the island ( we rarely saw Fatin ever have a breakdown)

◦ Toni and Shelby building a friendship and a foundation and getting back together halfway through S3

◦ More of Henry and Ivan’s friendship

◦ Both groups bonding eventually

◦ development for the boys (like having them grow and us learning some things about their home lives cause I hardly know what their parents are like except for Henry’s mom, Bo’s dad, and Raf’s parents)

◦ A Rachel, Henry, and Dot friend group

◦ Raf developing outside of his relationship to others and becoming his own person( I love Raf but compared to the other boys he doesn’t have a strong presence)

◦ Us finding out how Martha and Toni met and learning about Toni’s mom

◦ Ian recruiting more people to help from the outside

◦ Nora reappearing on my television screen more than once

◦ Bo and Shelby becoming friends cause that’ll mean I’ll see more of their characters explored

◦ Toni and Leah’s friendship being explored

◦ Toni and Ivan having a friendship and both letting their guards down by being friends which would be beautiful ( credit to @lesbian-jpeg)

◦ Josh getting into a hobby completely outside of Kirin and it helping him heal(maybe he can garden?? That’ll be nice like how religion had helped Rachel)

◦ More group teasing Kirin playfully (specifically Fatin, Ivan, and Scotty)

◦ Kirin stepping back from being a leader for awhile cause from looking at his interview I think he’d feel a bit detached from the role and might feel like he’s inadequate

◦ Shelby’s main fear is that she will end up alone because of what she is, I want her to make more queer friends

◦ Martha and Josh being the token straight people of the group

◦ Maybe someone trying to spy on Seth to figure out if he has access to a way out like using his own tactic against him ( Tricking him into thinking he has an ally and then going to the group and telling them what they learned; i think Leah would be able to do that honestly)

What I NEED from Season 3

◦ Shelby and Martha’s friendship seen more(I missed them last season)

◦ Henry bursting out in song and either Dot or Leah knowing the song instantly and joining in and the rest of the group just staring at them

◦ MORE OF DOROTHY CAMPBELL THE MVP

◦ Raf and Leah stating out loud that they’re platonic with a capital P

◦ More than 10 episodes (I’ll accept fifteen)

◦ Nora and Rachel’s reunion

◦ Josh’s healing journey

◦ All the kids jumping Seth

[femmesandhoney]

best lesbian ships and/or couples in tv and film in your opinion, queen?

not to out myself as someone who had a sk*m phase but cris and joana really hold my heart <3. deena and sam from the fear street trilogy are also fucking amazing horror queens. shelby and toni, obviously, but also im rooting for leah and fatin who i better be able to add to this list eventually from the wilds. then my babies rae and scylla from motherland fort salem. and i don't really watch many lesbian movies except the classics everyone likes, but i don't really obsess over the couples like with tv show ones. but portrait, the handmaiden, and the perfection are wonderful.