#but Jess is my favorite because he has so many complexities and his relationship with Luke is one of my favorites in the show

[sbd-laytall]

I always feel weird whenever I think about what team I qualify in because I see good parts of every single one of Rory's boyfriends, but I also see the bad parts too.

On the one hand, my favorite Rory relationship is her romance with Logan - in the original show because the revival was just not good and I believe every fan would agree with me - because in my honest opinion, it was her best relationship and one where they both grew as individuals. They also had really great chemistry, and I think of them fondly, even though they were a real mess at times.

But on the other hand, when thinking about the three individual characters, Jess is my favorite out of the three guys. He's just got such a rich arc and presence when compared to Dean (who was actually a pretty decent character until he got married, but I digress), or to Logan (whose character arc is to learn how to be a boyfriend and not be a privileged trustfund baby).

[all-0f-the-above]

DC PRIDE #1 has me living for many different reasons so let's go through it story by story

The Wrong Side of the Looking Glass

the mad hatter storyline being pretty much a retelling of kate's upbringing and the fact that her being a lesbian is one part of that but not everything thank god

wonderland parallels keep you more interested in the story bc you know it's mad hatter, you just don't know why he's doing it; just another one of those "i know the ending so the question is how they got there"

By the Victors

constantine just being like that and trying to get gregorio and his husband in bed with him - my guy this is why you constantly run into exes and one night stands i swear

the fact that m and gregorio just casually team up just gets me bc this just further confirms that m will call his friends on missions not just because they're qualified (ref: m being unsure if extraño could undo the, and i'm paraphrasing here, "time blood magic") and calls his friends to join him just cause he can

m's reference to the love story between patroclus and achilles made my heart hurt since it kind of parallels him and andrew and i almost checked the writer before realizing that it was, of course, the one and only Steve Orlando - midpollo's saving grace

also can i just mention how much i love gregorio's costumes they show in this? becuase BOY are they a fantastic, dignified kind of hot; thank you Stephen Byrne

this midpollo cover art is killing me

Try the Girl

renee being a badass is always amazing

also the fact that she was admiring the defense attorney that would sometimes be arguing against her case is such an Inconvenient Crush that i would love expansion on

i love that you can see the lipstick stain on her mask - that's the reality of kissing in costume, kids

the way they draw all the women's outfits has me so happy and i esp. love renee, valeria's hair as well as the question's coat - it's just so nice to look at (all my love to Skylar Partridge and José Villarrubia)

Another Word for a Truck to Move Your Furniture

ant harley and aunt pam being antiheroes soothes all my mortal wounds

btw i love how Amy Reeder draws them; they have such a bad history of being sexualized and it struck me when i finished reading that not once was i uncomfortable with the angles or body proportions and i got to read two antiheroes who are women and bisexuals! and being able to be comfortable with their framing and writing the whole time

harley having cartoon logic as her meta ability is so close i can taste it

the coloring is gorgeous - thank you Marissa Louise

also this format of people arguing while also beating up a villain or carrying out a complex plan is my favorite - i love the dynamic and the dialogue of relationship speak and fighting a large plant monster

i think harley's mallet is alive and honestly that's great for her

"He's the Light of My Life!"

i'm going to be impressed with myself if i don't cry at alan and todd's story

damon being impatient to meet alan is great and i love the flashbacks to when father fought son like "no duh we have issues making smalltalk"

JIMMY AND ALAN I'M GOING TO CRY HE LOST HIS LOVER IN THE TRAIN CRASH THEN BECAME A GL

alan being bad with common slang in the lgbtq+ community is such an Old Queer staple

the fact that they're still kind of awkward at the end but working on getting to know each other is such a breath of the fresh air that is real life familial relationships

Clothes, Makeup, Gift

andy's whole aesthetic is offending me with how cute it is and good lord Lisa Sterle draws us enbys really well

jesse with those suspenders

jesse with those hips! i'm glad we have a non-binary character that doesn't look like a waify cis male

getting real adhd vibes for jesse rn like repeating the same words over and over in order to remember them yes that's my life

Be Gay, Do Crime

whoever pitched the title idea has my ultimate respect - it's not often that queer culture references make it in

plus size queer antihero; dc my guy are you trying to get my money because here it is- take it

they got gen z slang right! i'm impressed; usually i say "bougie" instead of "boug" but hey do you

pied piper being responsible but also not is such a chaotic good move that i love

also drummer boy's costume kind of reminds me of those old rock star ones

Date Night

yes my girl nia's just checking in with her mom during patrol

her little dream journal is such a cute idea that she wakes up and just haphazardly scrawls it in there

"cute face" yes the most important piece of information

her full body panel with the moon in the background is just amazing - thank you Luciano Vecchio and Rex Lokus

this action is pretty hq not gonna lie

love that brainy is just like "well ok i guess we have an unconscious criminal with us; how are you liking the movie?"

tl;dr i enjoyed it

[cinderelliee]

My final character opinions before Chain of Iron...

Just finished my reread of Chain of Gold ahead of Tuesday’s release!!! I am posting my thoughts/opinions of the main cast so that after Chain of Iron I can see how or if my feelings change. Spoilers: most of my opinions are going to be that I don’t know enough about them lmao. I love the big cast of characters, but that unfortunately also means less time is spent on each one.

Disclaimer: I know that I love some characters that people hate and vice versa. My intention is not to start anything, but more to be more open about what I think about the characters. It’s okay to disagree and just because I say I don’t like a character, it does not mean I believe they are badly written...

Alastair Carstairs:

One of my favorites of the series, and possibly TSC as a whole (let’s see how the series goes first). I love him so much and I can’t wait to see how his story goes. I love that he keeps everyone at arms length and pushes everyone away, but he would also go to any length for the people he loves. I think he has a gift of being able to see people as they are, and notice things others don’t. Probably why he was the one, not Cordelia, who saw what was wrong with his father and kept it from his sister. I’m sure he used to look up to his father like Cordelia did, but instead suffered great disappointment when he learned the truth. And then when he went to the academy, finally having some time away from it, all he found was more disappointment. He did what he thought he had to to survive. And I think along the way he sort of lost himself.

I do think Alastair should make amends with the Merry Theives, but less for their sake and more for his own. I think his journey is more about finding and forgiving himself. There are other ways to live and survive than hurting anyone who gets too close to you. I think he started that journey in Chain of Gold when he dyed his hair back to black and broke up with Charles. But fixing yourself is easier said than done, it’s not one choice, but something that you strive for everyday. His journey actually reminds me a lot of Matthew’s; they have a lot in common and I think their paths will parallel each other’s. I also think Thomas will be a catalyst for Alastair’s growth, as well as a helping hand.

I can’t wait to see his dynamic with the characters this next book as he tries to return to his true self. It’ll be interesting to see how his relationship with Elias plays out too.

Anna Lightwood:

I really like Anna so far. I think she’s very unique and exciting. I love how dedicated she is to being true to herself, but at the same time cares deeply about her loved ones and shows it. Often times I feel like characters like her often act like they’re above showing affection towards their family, so I was pleasantly surprised when she wasn’t. This is probably because her parents love and support her, so she never had to scorn familial love.

Romantic love is a different thing. Now, my two pieces about her life style is: why don’t we all just have a good time. I know there’s some people who didn’t like that she called her many partners ‘conquests’ and that she had a little black book. But I didn’t really see that criticism until recently and I’m confused as to what people thought Anna was doing? Would they rather her not keep track and forget them all? It’s perfectly healthy to explore your sexuality as long as you aren’t harming yourself or others. I know Anna is seen as older, but she is still only 19 (I think? 20 at most right?). She’s still on her journey to figuring out who she is. She is a bit self-centered and definitely privileged (see her relationship with Ariadne), but if she didn’t have flaws there would be nowhere for her to grow from. I highly doubt Anna will be living her seductress lifestyle by the end of the series

Personally, I cannot wait to see how her relationship with Ariadne plays out. Hopefully Anna will have some healthy confrontation with how she reacted to her heartbreak and why. Anyway, Anna is definitely one of my favorites.

Ariadne Bridgestock:

She seems like an interesting character, and I like how she’s not afraid to go after what she wants. I’d like to know a little more about her past and motivations. I also think she’s in a really difficult situation with her family and who she is/wants to be. I think she made a really understandable choice when she engaged Charles, and I support her journey in winning Anna back (I don’t not agree with the people who judged her for not backing off from Anna. She is fighting for who she loves and we are all fools in love). I think she has a lot of potential, but I can’t quite say that I like her yet since she’s probably the character we know the least about.

Charles Fairchild:

No opinion. I don’t love or hate him. No feelings whatsoever. The only thing I care about is the possible drama he will cause for Alastair and Thomas or the Clave as a whole lmao

Christopher Lightwood:

This boy is great! I have no complaints about him at all. He is precious. Honestly I’d just like to see more from him! His lines always make me chuckle. Also I’m not convinced that he would be able to create a antidote before the Silent Brothers would’ve been able to. But whatever, it’s just a story so who cares.

Cordelia Carstairs:

I just think she’s really neat. She is a fantastic protagonist and definitely on her way to becoming my favorite TSC lead, other than Tessa, obviously. I love her strength, kindness, relentless resilience, and how headstrong she is. I think it’s hilarious how straightforward she is. There’s so many scenes where she just says exactly what she’s thinking and just surprises everyone around her because they underestimated her or never expected her to so forcefully share her opinions. I adore her relationships with everyone. Her and Lucie are adorable. Her relationship with Alastair is so sweet and watching them rebuild their relationship was one of my favorite parts of the book, and definitely something I’m looking forward to. Matthew and Cordelia’s relationship is one of my favorites from the book; I love how they challenge and surprise each other (I think they could learn a lot from each other). Her interactions with the Merry Theives in general are perfect.

One thing I will say is there just wasn’t enough of her. I was very surprised when I read it that James and her were basically co-protagonists. I didn’t expect James to have such a prominent role, usually the split between the girl and boy lead is 60/40 at most, but this felt more like a 50/50 split. I just would’ve prefered more from Cordelia I guess, but that’s just me.

Grace Blackthorn:

So at first I was neutral towards Grace. I didn’t care about her at all, but after I came online and saw how many people hated her and acted like her was a villain, I started liking her more. She obviously is a victim of her mother’s manipulation and she doesn’t want to do what she’s doing to James. It’s clear to me that she is doing what she can to survive and to help her brother, the only person she truly cares about. Since she is also one of the few characters that it’s unclear where her story is going to end up, I am curious to see how her story goes.

I know there’s some people who just wanted her to be a villain, and I totally get that. But I feel like if she was, we would get a less complex character. Cassie’s villains, with the exception of Jonathan perhaps, tend to be one dimensional (which is fine because that’s not the reason I read her books anyways!). I also don’t really think she needs much of a redemption arc because she’s just trying to survive.

James Herondale:

This is where I’m going to get a little unpopular. I don’t love James, BUT I don’t hate him either. I am just not interested in where his story goes at all. I think I get what Cassie’s goal was with his character. He doesn’t have Will and Jace’s dark past and he’s not a morally grey bad boy like Julian. James is caring and sweet and noble and has a good family and I can totally see why people like him. For me, he still fills the same exact role that I’ve seen, not just from Cassie, but other YA books as well, and I’m just tired of it. His motivations are doing whatever he can to protect his loved ones and doing things because they are the right thing to do. He is willing to lay down his life for the greater good. I just can’t see anything about him that feels new. The only times I’ve felt anything towards him is when Jem, Cordelia, or Matthew were making me feel something for him.

It could be because I don’t really care for Cassie’s plots and his arc is so heavily involved with all the Prince of Hell stuff. And the bracelet just pisses me off in a bad way. The solution to it is so simple that it just frustrates me, but does not intrigue me at all. I will say I like him better with the bracelet off so I’m hoping in stays off this next book so I can enjoy his POV a little more. I really want to like him, but I just don’t connect with him at all. I wish Cassie had come up with something other than the bracelet as well.

Jesse Blackthorn:

Imma be honest: at the moment I don’t really care about Jesse either. I don’t know enough about him. But it seems like we’re gonna get more from him this next book so I’m reserving my judgement until then. In Chain of Gold I noticed most of his scenes were pretty expository or he was passing along information, but we never really got to know much about him. Hopefully I will like him in Chain of Iron though!

Lucie Herondale:

I really like Lucie so far! My favorite part about her is that she is so practical, but also able to loose herself in whimsical fantasies. She is totally 100% Tessa and Will’s child!! I don’t have much to say other than I love what I’ve gotten from her so far, but I just need a little bit more to connect with her. I’m hoping Chain of Iron really explores her darker side and her motivations. I kinda have a feeling this next book will either make or break my opinion of her.

Matthew Fairchild:

Anyone who has been following me for a while now could probably guess that Matthew is my favorite from TLH. I don’t know what it says about me, but I relate to him on a personal level. Although I haven’t made the same mistakes he has, (thank heavens for that!) I do know how he feels. I do know what it’s like to have something happen, that’s completely your fault, and have it change your life into something completely different than you thought it would be. I have made a lot of posts about him so if you want more in depth details, they are on my blog.

I’m just going to say that, very similar to Alastair, I think that Matthew has a lot of amends to make, to everyone in his life. And his journey is what I look forward to the most. He’s made a lot of mistakes, huge ones, and I know it’ll probably get worse before it gets better. But I hope his story isn’t going to be as sad as everyone believes, (I don’t think it will be, since a vast majority of Cassie’s characters eventually get happen endings) it just means a lot to me that his character doesn’t end up a tragedy. Like I said before his relationship with Cordelia is something I am really looking forward to. And his relationship with his family as well.

I love him your honor. *if I loved him less I may have been able to talk about him more*

Thomas Lightwood:

I really like Thomas!!! I favorite thing about him is that he can so easily see the beautiful and worth in everyone and everything (which makes him perfect for Alastair!). I love how gentle and kind he is. So far what I have seen from him has been so great. And how he was able to carrying on despite his sister’s death and then Christopher’s illness was really admirable. But I’m going to say for him as I’ve said for most: I want to see more from him!!! I have faith that his and Alastair’s relationship with be the best part of the book, so I have high hopes!

Okay!!! I think that’s everyone!! Let me know what you think?? Do you agree or disagree! I would love to get into some discussions with people to pass the time until the release!! If anyone wants to make their own post, please tag me!! I’d love to see!!! Do you think I have enough ‘!!!!!!!!!’?

[horrorslashergirl]

I need any headcanons for Asa and/or Jesse, you can also add others if you want. Like stuff like their scent they're usual mood, how you can tell if they like you, stuff that people usually don't care about ya know?

I have to admit I wrote more than I intended too, but I think it came out pretty good. Some headcanons I debated from watching their movies I think over 20 times? Feeling like a detective. 

Random Headcanons

The Collector/Asa Emory

If I have to picture his scent I think he would have a combination of citrus, disinfectant, and dust; do you know how an old book smells, that rich smell of knowledge that is rather calming? That's how I picture him like. Why citrus/lemon/disinfectant? I headcanon Asa as a neat-freak so I think that would be a common scent for him, plus I don't think the flowery scents are his favorite when it comes to room air freshener.

Surprisingly, Asa knows how to dress, but doesn't care. He dresses according to where he goes; working at the university, working on his human collection. He is a more practical type. He never finds the need to dress to impress.

Asa is an introvert. His usual mood when he is his civilian self is one of pure calmness, maintaining a stoic facade, mostly so that people won't bother him. Now, he isn't a shy guy, more like socially awkward, and doesn't have the abilities of a social butterfly. He can learn to be but chooses not to. If someone tries to get under his skin, he will use his intellect to make said people feel like they're the dumbest and make them walk away in shame. As his Collector persona, he lets his inner demons free; the rage, the blood-thirst, he doesn't feel like he needs to maintain a facade anymore, because as the Collector, he is the master, the one who calls the shots.

If Asa likes someone he will never flat-out tell them or try to impress the said person. If you're a very observant person, you can catch him observing you from the distance, but as soon as you look at him, his gaze will move away from you. Asa likes to observe from the distance and there are many ways his liking to you can go; taking an interest in someone means the person will most likely end up being part of his collection like he sees a beautiful specimen and he knows they need to own them.

I picture Asa as having some sort of PTSD; nightmares, flashbacks can come when you trigger his past. That's probably one of the reasons he isn't so opened up to having someone care for him and trust them. The person who was supposed to love him unconditionally and be the guide in his life took everything away from him; his father we are talking about here. How can he trust someone who they admit that they love him when his father created him the monster that he is today?

He has some sleep problems, mostly because of how big of a workaholic he is. Working from morning to afternoon at the university then working all night on his collection can suck the life out of him. God bless the dark liquid called coffee.

The biggest characteristic of Asa is probably his intelligence and by all means, this man is a walking encyclopedia, not only on Entomology but also on other topics like history, art, and geography. Despite him being strong and intimidating with his stature, his intellect is the biggest weapon; a very good strategist and a master trap. You have to get the brains to make such things.

When it comes to relationships and you managed to somehow get into one with Asa, you need to understand that you have to take this man how he is, he will never change for the sake of someone. Don't question him, especially about his gruesome hobby. I picture a traditional housewife type would be the perfect shot for him, considering he isn't that much at home, someone has to clean the house and cook. I think everything in Asa's life is cold, metaphorically speaking, so coming home to finding his house immaculate and a warm home-cooked meal is a big treat, makes him feel loved and without you being a too push-over and annoy him. Give him his space and be there when he needs it.

Chromeskull/Jesse Cromeans

When it comes to Jesse's scent, I think it would go two ways or a combo of the two. The scent of metal, medical solutions plus adding some expensive male cologne, tobacco, and rich alcohol fragrance is what this man smells like. It's quite intoxicating and makes you feel a little dizzy, but that's Jesse's intentions, like a drug you're getting addicted to.

Looks are everything for this man, despite his face being turned into the horrors today, he makes a very good impression with designer clothing, perfectly polished Oxford shoes, and perhaps a Rolex? Cars are like accessories, the flashier the better. Why not a Chrysler, maybe a Jaguar? Perhaps a Rolls Royce? Cars exhume power and by Gods, Jesse loves the power. If you have the money why not buy the finest things life has to offer?

Jesse is an extrovert and when he enters a room is like a panther is stalking the room, looking for the next victim. He is no shy guy and likes to make his thoughts known by all means; signing, electronic reader? He has many ways. His moods wary, depending on the situation at hand and they come in all kinds of forms. Jesse can go from playful and sassy to downright vicious and brutish. He is a big tease and loves to make people flustered; men or women, doesn't matter.

He has a dark sense of humor and that can be shown by just body language; the way that he teased Princess Gemstone with poking her head with his knife 'This piggy went to the market. This one stayed home.' Or when Princess Gemstone tried to save a bounded girl, but she runs away and Jesse waved his hand in a mocking 'bye-bye'.

He has a God-like complex, always the need to be in charge and that is shown when he killed Preston for trying to take the title as Chromeskull. Now, that's his style and Jesse doesn't like cheap copycats. Greedy, Jesse won't accept other people trying to steal his kills and get credit for his work. Just no.

A theory of mine is that Jesse is running a multi-million chroming company. The reasons? Chroming is very expensive and you can get a load of money from it. How do I know? One friend chromed the wheels of his car and the cheapest he found was 400 EURO. The process of chroming is not only expensive but also very dangerous and complicated. So, therefore, CASH! But also when you came tons of money from snuff films you got to have a business facade so people won't brown-nose into your shit. That's what people with illegal businesses do, a facade business to clean your dirty work.

A prime characteristic of Jesse is his ego, his PRIDE. His ego and misunderstanding other made him lose his face and also WIFE. He saw himself as invincible and he didn't even think about his wife when he started all this mafia-like organization. Just shows how selfish he can be in my opinion and like his wife said at the ending of Laid to rest 2 that she hadn't seen him for months and she was pregnant; Jesse thinks only for himself.

Talking about being in a relationship with Jesse? Here goes a nasty truthful headcanon; you will be his trophy wife, just an accessory for him, and having loyal pussy at his beck and call seems like a sweet treat. You will be spoiled rotten, but that will come with the price of being owned and feel like that. Say goodbye to freedom and the option of speaking your opinions. Now, Jesse wouldn't mind you play a feisty spitfire, all the more fun to see you crumble down in obedience into his arms. The only option you have is to be diplomatic and try to best yourself at playing mind games because if you don't at some point you will end up like his ex-wife.

How you can tell if Jesse likes you? Pretty hard considering he has a habit of being a huge flirt and womanizer, buuuuut...You might have a chance to be something more than a piggy or quick-fuck, if you show that you're more than the common-looking piggies. Be smart, be independent, show him that you won't drop on your knees and choke on his cock; don't be an easy catch, if you want to have him want you as his prime trophy.

[aewriting]

RNM Fandom Creators Week: Day 5 - Angst

Angst, hurt/comfort... it’s one of my favorite genres. Roswell NM has a lot of canonical angst (a bit TOO much, in my personal opinion), but it certainly has provided rich soil for creators. There are some really excellent angsty fics in this fandom, and here is a sampling of some of the ones that have left the biggest impression.

PLEASE MIND TAGS for all of these - there is some challenging material here.

The Jesse Manes is a Human Rights Violation series by @dancinbutterfly

AO3 author page

This came out a while ago. It’s an AU in which Michael has secretly been Jesse’s captive since the end of high school. There are a number of parts that are so visceral (Michael and Kyle encountering each other after ten years, Max breaking down to Alex when trying to get more information on Michael’s disappearance, Alex trying to fuck the pain away at a family wedding). This is very well-written and incredibly suspenseful.

Black parade by @pippsmcgee and @packdontendwithblood

AO3 strangeredlantern

AO3 vague_shadows

This is a multipart AU that is part of a series. Like some other RNM stories (and the show itself), it uses fiction to explore some very awful real world situations. In this, Michael and other aliens are under the control of a governmental organization that controls their living arrangements, jobs, etc... and Michael has been assigned to work at Jesse Manes’ ranch. The way Michael and Alex are so connected, but have to contend with power differentials and extreme prejudice are handled very well. I was so so so nervous reading every chapter of this - very suspenseful.

You got older by THE Roswell Anonymous author

The Roswell Anon has written many angsty fics, but for my money this is the angstiest. Oh my god. Poor Alex and poor Michael here. The fic’s premise is that Michael has been occasionally engaging in sex work to earn money, and Alex finds out. Michael lies to Alex in this, in such awful ways, but ultimately his body betrays him, and the truth is almost MORE difficult for them to deal with. Just thinking about it makes me hurt.

Help me heal by @scottt190 (anyone have an updated tumblr for this author?)

AO3 author page

This is a very well-written AU in which Alex meets Michael in a therapy group. Of course, though, without really working on himself, it is hard for Alex to have a healthy relationship with anyone. There’s a guy-wrenching scene here where Alex works up the nerve to go to Michael’s apartment, only to find he’s got a new boyfriend. This one had a happy ending.

Erinyes by @ninswhimsy

AO3 author page

MIND THE TAGS. This is haunting. Michael and Alex are kidnapped by an alien with a vendetta. There are lines in this that I still think of from time to time, especially when the alien gets into Alex’s head. Chilling.

To trust love by @laughsalot3412

AO3 author page

I spoke of this on AU day. This is an exceptionally well-written AU with the premise that Michael, Max, and Isobel have been in Caulfield since they were teenagers, enduring awful experimentation and abuses from the guards. Alex infiltrates Caulfield, posing as a guard. There is of course a connection between him and Michael, but one that is so fraught with the power differential between them and both of their traumatic histories. The author takes no shortcuts and pulls no punches in this.

The first who ever did (anyone know if this author, nostaljinks, has tumblr?)

AO3 author page

This is a very nice exploration of Alex and Michael, and of this ever present idea of owing. One of the most memorable scenes to me, though, is when Alex confronts Michael while out on a date. My heart just hurts every time at that part.

We were hand to glove to cuff by @haloud

AO3 author page

This author has so many good fics, but I think this is my favorite. There is a choice Alex must make toward the end of this that had me gasping. Very well done.

Last years wishes are this years apologies by @lambourngb

AO3 author page

The complexities and angst of trying to initiate and maintain a good, strong, healthy relationship despite a lack of modeling and experience, with a big dose of past traumas and hurts (some inflicted by each other on each other) - the author absolutely nails that process here, in a way that felt incredibly real and painful and healing to me. Oh, and there’s fake dating and a federal investigation too! Truly this is so well done.

My love is a life taker by @jocarthage

AO3 author page

When you have been raised to be a government weapon, how do you possibly begin to reclaim your human dignity and sovereignty? I have not finished this yet (damn it, real life), but it is so so excellent. Well-written, well-plotted, with a deep exploration of the impact of Alex’s upbringing and job, and the hard work of healing.

You’re the reoccurring kind by @skinsharpenedteeth

AO3 author page

This is a recent Lost Decade fic that flows very naturally from Michael’s big “push-pull” talk with Alex in 2x01. That was one of the most memorable scenes of Season 2 for me because it painted such a vivid picture, to me, of what that Lost Decade must have been like for Michael, all the pain (intentional and unintentional) that Alex’s comings and goings inflicted (I will also say there is drunk driving in this which is not tagged in the AO3 posting - I know that can understandably be a no go for some). No one comes off blameless in this one, which I think is very true to a real life relationship, especially one as fraught with internal and external hurts as Michael and Alex’s.

Here everyone knows you’re the way to my heart by @adamsparirsh (not sure why I can’t make a link to this blog!)

AO3 author page

This is so good. Alex has tried to date Forrest but clearly there is still a connection with Michael, and then disaster strikes. Well written. I cried.

[randomfandomimagine]

End Of The Year Faves

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

I was tagged by @myriadimagines and @musicallisto, thank you, lovelies!

10. Zack Fair (FFVII) gif imagine

I really love this one because it’s like the definition of short and sweet. It’s adorable, warm and I think I got Zack’s characterization pretty well and I often reread it when I need a smile. I just love my boy Zack and how this little thing turned out.

9. Connor (DBH) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you”)

The reason I love this one it’s because I wrote it as one of my favorite things to write: a character study. I tried to express Connor’s struggle as he develops feelings for the reader and how conflicted he would be to have fallen in love with someone, having developed such a human thing as feelings. One of the many reasons why I love Connor is because of his arc in the game, because of how guilty he feels for becoming deviant despite being the very android that hunts them, it just gets to me. I’m just really glad that I could explore that in this prompt and that I managed to show it properly as well as make this more angsty, since my specialty is usually fluff.

8. Yennefer (Witcher) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you” “Are you jealous?” “I’m so scared”)

This is the only Yennefer request I’ve ever gotten (besides one for a dating would include that I had already written), and I had so much fun writing it! Yennefer has appeared in my Witcher writings a lot, but never as a main character and never as a love interest, so that’s why this was so cool! I think she’s a very interesting character, so I really enjoyed getting the chance to explore her personality. I love how it turned out because I think it’s the perfect balance between her being sly and also being loving and showing her feelings for the reader. 

7. Too Nice (John Ambrose McClaren, TATBILB ficlet)

John Ambrose is another character I really like writing for. What can I say? I fell in love with him and it was great to write something for him. This is somewhere between love and almost hate, with a lot of misunderstandings and complex feelings that ultimately lead to a happy fluffy ending. He’s just the sweetest and it was curious to write his reactions to someone who doesn’t always respond well to his kindness, even if because it flusters them.

6. Special (Howl Pendragon, HMC ficlet)

And yet another character I love. It was a bit hard settling on just one version of the character, because I love both the movie and book versions, so I tried to make it a little bit of both... even if this Howl is more suave and charming like in the movie rather than the absolute endearing disaster that book Howl is. Still, I always have fun getting other characters involved with the reader and their love interest, so I loved adding Calcifer and Marko to the mix. As well as the cute interactions Howl and reader have, I love the ending in which he hints at the fact that the reader unlocked something in his heart that he didn’t think was possible.

5. Kind (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad ficlet)

I don’t often get to write about Jesse, so this was awesome! Peekaboo was one of my favorite episodes and it was amazing to get to explore it. While it’s not perfect, I really like how the connection between Jesse and reader turned out, how kind (:D) he is and patient and respectful, and I think I also poured a lot of emotion to the reader with that background.

4. Separated (Zuko, ATLA ficlet)

By this point, it’s obvious that I’m more proud of ficlets (because they’re longer and take more planning and more time and effort) and about characters I love because I think the passion I have for them is more obvious. I wrote this one right when I was watching ATLA because I loved (and still love) Zuko so much. It’s sort of a character study as well (it’s established that I adore writing them) and I’m so glad that I had the idea of getting Iroh involved because he’s awesome. This ficlet just has a lot of pining and repressed emotions that come out in the end and I love it.

3. Weight On His Shoulders (PS4 Peter Parker ficlet)

This one if pretty recent, as I wrote it after beating the game myself. This game is just awesome, and this is my favorite representation of Peter ever. He’s cute, charming, nerdy, loving, kind, a bit awkward and just everything that Peter and Spidey should be (at least for me). I wanted to represent both his personas in this one, and I like the balance I achieved with it as well as the emotions, the pining, the secret identity and in the end the understanding of the reader. The part with Spidey saving reader is great and I’m very happy with how reader is prepared to confront him about it once they learn he’s Spiderman only to change their mind when they see how much it’s weighing on him so they decide to relax with him for a bit.

2. Reunion (Cloud Strife, FFVII ficlet)

I’ve written a lot of things for this fandom this year because I was super inspired after beating the remake with my brother, I loved it (honorable mentions to Heal My Heart and Stars In Your Eyes, two other ficlets that I wrote and I’m very proud of). Cloud has always been one of my favorite characters, and in this one I got to examine a side of him I usually don’t. Not only does this ficlet include Zack Fair (another one of my favorite characters) but it also goes along with an idea I had been thinking about for a long time of a female reader pretending to be a boy to get into SOLDIER and becoming friends with them, but it also shows Cloud as the meeker and shy boy he is in Crisis Core. It was so cool to write about him back then and after once he had joined AVALANCHE. His relationship with the reader was also bittersweet because of their past and it’s just so complex and emotional that I love it, especially their reunion at the end.

1. Soul of a Warrior (Jaskier x Nissa, The Witcher Fanfiction Series). This was a big project, as series always are. I spent several months planning and plotting the story and even more months writing it, and also revising it once it was finished before posting it. I put so much effort, love and time into this series that it absolutely had to be number one. Soul of a Warrior is probably the thing I’m most proud of (that I have written) in 2020. 

As most of you know (my mutuals definitely do, as they have gifted me amazing things with him), Jaskier is probably the character I fangirled the hardest about this year. I wrote many things for him (the ficlet What Would You Do Without Me? deserves another honorable mention because it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve written this year along with the series) and working on each of them has brought me so much serotonin. Jaskier is just such an amazing character, loving and compassionate but cheeky and selfish while at the same time being charming, optimistic, bubbly, extroverted and a huge flirt. So many layers!

But back to the series... Soul of a Warrior had one of the best faceclaims I’ve found, the sweetest friendship between my OC Nissa and Geralt and the slowest of burns romances with Jaskier. Him and Nissa are very similar in some aspects, so much so that they’re both too blind to realize the other’s feelings (idiots to lovers, am I right?) but they care so much about one another. The three of them were strangers, but they become family (found family, another one for the fandom bingo!) and I’m the proudest of how real and organic their relationship feels. Not to mention that their dynamic was super fun to write because Geralt is the only one that knows they’re in love and is so fed up and exasperated with their obliviousness. As well as this, I think I managed to mix action, emotion and depth really well. My secondary OCs feel more alive than others before them, Nissa was pretty complex and coherent and had a true voice of her own, and their part on the story feels important. There are tense moments, cute ones, sad ones, tragic ones... a little bit of everything. I think this one as a lot more angst and whump because I was in a bit of a dark place when I wrote it, but it still has hope and light in it, which I really love. The series also has a lot more violence than what I’m used to, but it was interesting to get out of my comfort zone a bit. 

Overall, not only do I think it’s fun to read, compelling, funny and emotional all at once, I’m just very proud that I managed to write something a little different from what I usually do and feel like I did it well. I put a big part of me in this series and for that reason Soul of a Warrior will always have a special place in my heart 💜

That it’s, sorry if I ranted a bit! I tag anyone who wants to do this!! 

[dotthings]

After 15.07 ended I had to sit there crying for about ten minutes, marinating in my Dean feelings. So that’s how things are going here.

[[MORE]]

Dean sure is drinking a lot. Oh sweetie. Sure he’s fine. He’s just fine. Perfectly fine. It’s not just Cas weighing on him but Cas is gone yet still out there. But away from him, and he’s feeling alienated from Cas, and Dean’s got this existential crisis about the meaning of his whole life, and he’s just not fine.

Domestic Sam and Eileen cooking together in the bunker kitchen and acting like they’ve been married for 15 years or so I CAN’T EVEN. Those moments of domesticity are important to give this story texture. It’s never going to be all about cooking in the bunker kitchen being adorable but these are complex characters with layers and whole lives and soft marshmallow centers underneath their harsh, monster-hunting shells and I LOVE IT.

Dean likes Eileen (and she made bacon, thus winning a thousand points) and the only point during these scenes Dean showed really any lightening of his burdens was seeing Sam and Eileen together and teasing Sam about her. He just wants Sam to be happy, and Sam is worried about Dean, and oh my heart *squishes them*. “That’s progress, right?” Sam tells Eileen all hopeful, because Dean went out on a hunt. Oh Sam, honey, Sam you know better than that but you want Dean to be okay as much as Dean is posturing to be okay so you’re trying to roll with it. Dean fleeing from his life into a hunt isn’t really a good sign though.

When Dean finds Lee, it’s the first time all season we’ve seen him all the way through happy. I’m not sure I’ve seen Dean look that kind of happy well...ever. My heart is SHATTERING HERE. It’s like this is the Dean that could be, if circumstances had been less brutal, if the monsters, and heaven, and hell, and God himself, had been less brutal, if his mom hadn’t died when he was four, if John had been well...not the way John was to him, and even with all that, the capability is still in Dean, that sense of joy in being alive, in being open.

This ep is kind of underscoring how important different kinds of relationships are. No matter how much I love the relationships of Team Free Will, none of them can be all the things for each other, even if it’s three instead of just two. Eileen and Sam’s rapport shows it in this ep and Dean’s rapport with Lee shows it. It doesn’t mean Cas and Sam are less important to Dean. And I think Dean and Cas really belong together and are suited, if they can climb over being their own worst enemies, and Sam and Dean are Sam and Dean, but Dean and Lee have their own thing too and it BREAKING MY HEART SEEING THIS.

Oooh Eileen makes her move and Sam seems interested and—-LOLOLOL Cas cockblocks Saileen.

Sam is so damn pissy about Cas not getting back to him I am loving it.

“Yeah, I got better.” This should be a crest on a stone shield over the bunker door at this point, everyone in it died at one point or another...but then they got better.

Cas IMMEDIATELY demanding “Where’s Dean?”

He’s so put out that Dean isn’t there akdlfjkl;asjg;lahf even though Cas doesn’t want to talk to him right now. WHERE’S DEAN. The song of the Castiel.

Dean assuming that Lee probably died after they lost touch because “I mean that’s how this usually ends” is the most hunter most sad thing ever.

But no he didn’t die, he retired and bought a bar, he’s living Dean’s Rocky’s Bar dream and everything hurts.

So Eileen realizes that whatever Sergei is planning to do about Sam’s God bullet wound is a bad idea, while Sam and Cas jump right in because they just want to get Chuck and of course it goes badly. This is peak Team Free Will dumbassery. Eileen is such a reasonable, sensible voice here but it doesn’t stop them.

Cas finally calls Dean on purpose because Sam is hurt, I mean nothing brings bickering husbands together like mutual worry over one of their kids. Also Cas is so distressed about Sam, maybe he wants Dean there, it’s almost not quite a flip on Dean praying to Cas needing Cas there personally when he’s scared for Sam.

“If you don’t help me tonight I will find you and burn you alive.” Fierce Cas protecting Sam. I’m all tingly.

So Dean asks Lee “who’s going to kill the bad guys”

“Somebody else” says Lee.

At first, Lee’s ideas about retirement sound like not a completely terrible idea, there is more to life than hunting, and maybe Dean should have the chance to explore that. Oh and it sounds like this friendship with Lee was something Dean had while Sam was an Stanford and I have so many thoughts on that, those years are left unfilled in by canon, we can only surmise and piece together. The idea that Dean was fully lonely the entire time, completely lost without his brother...maybe not so much. Much as it was also hard on Dean having Sam leave him and John behind so completely and I’m sure it hurt. But here’s the thing, they spent years apart, and both had their lives, and this look into a friendship from Dean’s past, while Sam had Jess...interesting. Again, gee it’s like more than one relationship in people’s lives matter.

Eileen looking after Sam who is suffering from a wound “down to his very soul.” Eileen’s worried little face. Cas’s worried face.

Okay okay I knew Lee could turn out to be evil, I knew that, I still shouted NOOOOOOOO. Figured ahead of time this ep could go one of three ways. 1. Djinn dream and Lee wasn’t real 2. Lee is real but good 3. Lee is real and was a friend but turns out to be a betrayer or a monster or dies (ooh fun times we went with a triumvirute on number 3)

I was actually getting annoyed at Cas for trusting Sergei in the first place but then Cas, the tactician, the smart ruthless angel, is holding a captive over Sergei. He knew Sergei might screw them over all along and was prepared.

Eileen pinning Sergei angrily up against the wall by his throat, threatening him for Sam’s sake. SAM THIS ONE IS A KEEPER.

Also Eileen reminds me a lot of Cas. They can both be soft but have this ruthless streak, this warrior fury that comes out.

Oh welp here we go, Lee let the darkness eat his heart. He wasn’t turned into a monster, and he doesn’t do it for greed, it just...ate him up, all he wanted, after his trauma, was some peace but there are costs too high and he gave up what was good about him to get some minor good fortune, his dream bar.

“If evil like that exists int he world, guys like you and me, we aren’t ever going to win”

“No one’s innocent”

“Are we owed a little happiness”

“Good or bad, the world doesn’t care. No one cares, Dean.”

So while Dean is facing this existential abyss about whether anything he’s done, all the trauma he’s gone through, had any meaning, because he found out God was outright manipulating events around him his whole life, on purpose, for entertainment, there’s his old friend, someone Dean clearly connected strongly with and cares about, spilling his own abyss out onto the table in front of Dean and the abyss in Lee is a lot darker and danker and rotted than Dean’s, and Dean’s the one who has to contend with actual freakin’ GOD screwing him over, personally, his whole life.

“Well I do.”

This is probably where I started crying during the episode, because of Dean. Because of all the trauma, all the losses, all the unimaginable horrors he’s faced, including his own inner demons, and he never gave up and he never lost his caring for the world and for others. He often doesn’t care much about himself but he never stopped CARING. And his spirit and his heart are as fierce and butt-kicking as his monster-fighting and hand-to-hand combat skills (I so enjoyed this bamf Dean fight scene) and that is why I love Dean SO SO MUCH.

*pauses to cry again*

“I am you. That woke up and saw the world was broken.” But Lee doesn’t know that Dean knows the world is broken. He knows eactly how broken the world is, how literally broken, that it’s just one of Chuck’s many drafts, and how uncaring Chuck the creator really is. It doesn’t get more world-breaking than that, and Dean knows, and IT DIDN’T BREAK DEAN. Lee’s projecting, he just can’t understand how someone who is like him, who’s witnessed horrors like what he’s witnessed, isn’t broken the way Lee is. But Dean is Dean, he isn’t Lee.

“Why do you care so much Dean?”

“Because someone has to.”

Oh hey because I haven’t made this post painful enough yet with Dean analysis, let’s take a look back at 2.20 What Is and What Should Never Be (transcript courtesy of superwiki)

“All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman, that's haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It's like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? (begins to cry while talking) What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

But Dean is way past this, he’s gone through that stage of questioning and come out the other side. He tells Lee nobody owes him anything. He isn’t owed a reward. He just cares because he does and that’s...well, that’s kind of how life is. As fans, we talk about what our favorites deserve, and of course they deserve some peace and happiness. But that’s not always how it works...still they can keep hoping and we can keep hoping for them. The story isn’t over.

Whereas Lee, when he asked those questions about “why us, why do we have to be the heroes” came out the other side completely broken and corrupt.

The way Dean’s eyes went dead inside when he had to stab Lee. Like a light went out in Dean as Lee died. The contrast between that and his light-hearted pure joy at seeing his old friend again. JUST STAB ME TOO OKAY

Oh my goodness Dean’s return to the bunker and that awkward awkward face to face with Cas and neither of them seems angry any more even but there’s so so much negative space between them and Dean seems like he wants to maybe bridge the gulf but now Cas shuts Dean out, cuts him off, and walks out of the room, a flip on what Dean was doing in eps 1-3 to Cas. And the STARING oh my god the staring. Despite their problems, despite everything, Dean and Cas have a powerful bond and bonds don’t have to be trouble free and perfect to be good ones. They’re going to fix this, if they can climb over their walls and their issues and find their joy together. Because they are both worth it. They are also similar. No matter what’s been thrown at them, how much suffering, how much trauma. Cas, like Dean, keeps getting back up, and hasn’t lost his caring. “Too much heart was always Castiel’s problem” and it’s actually Dean’s problem too and by problem, for them on this, we actually mean great big asset.

Both of them, Cas last week, and Dean this week, undergo something separately that shows them why they have to get back into the fight, and not run away from everything (or each other, I think, that’s tacit). “If I stay here nothing changes” Cas said in 15.06. Cas was able to prove to himself, for himself, that he could save people, that he wasn’t an entire failure, and Dean went through an experience in 15.07 that jolted him to connect with his own sense of caring again, to feel the meaning in who he is and what he does, and how much he cares. Despite Chuck’s nonsense, he still cares about everything, so much it hurts.

[myssparklesbookrants]

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I WISH WERE TRUE SO THAT I COULD DATE THEM or stare at them from afar

HIWow! It was hard choosing a first topic to talk about. I felt like I needed to talk about something big and glamorous to blow the brains out of… of someone. But alas, this is my best, for now..

So, I chose the first one that I had listed on the top of my head ever since I first started reading.

<ta da!>

BOOK BOYFRIENDS!

This is a list of MEN or BOYS who tickle the romantic bone just right! (I had dreamed that there was such an organ in the human body, just near the stomach)

I selected these FICTIONAL BOYFRIENDS as potential members of my harem If I ever defy normal Filipino conceptions of marriage and take up polyandry.

The criteria I used is simple.

  Choose the fictional partners that I can imagine existing in real life  (not too much of an alpha and rich or good looking that borders on unbelievable). The type of characters that I can imagine talking to, who I find fascinating and can be a potential long-time partner, casual hook up or best friend.

 I originally wanted to stick to 10. But as I wrote, a lot of names popped up and I can’t not put them in the list but still, I am sure after I have this article published (Char! Haha) there will be a lot of “Shoot! Why did I not put him on the list???” exclamations. So, maybe I will eventually make another continuation list???

This list is based on the BOOKS I READ so if  you have a bet that I didn’t list, please don’t hesitate to give a recom. A new book to swoon over is always welcome.

 Most Importantly: READ THE BOOKS WHERE THESE AMAZING CHARACTERS CAME FROM. I liked them because of their wit, their personality, how they interacted with other people, their dreams and how their love for their other half made them better people or vice versa. MEANING: THE BOOK WAS WICKED AWESOME AND THE AUTHOR WAS A GOOD STORYTELLER.

(I must apologize for the lack of female to female romantic partner mentions given my current lack of FF Romance reads, which is something I will rectify soon. But if you have recommendations, feel free to comment below and maybe add some MM ones too!)

Anyway, meet…

1. Clayton Danvers and Lucas Cortez

Kelley Armstrong’s  Women of the Underworld Series

Genre: Horror fiction, Paranormal romance, Urban fantasy 

This series is adapted on screen called ‘Bitten’ which is available on Netflix.

Clayton Danvers is the strong, silent, and smart type. He is a professor in a university where he met Elena(his student) and a werewolf! His devotion to Elena was sweet, passionate and faithful to the point that bordered on obsessive but not off putting. The best thing about him was how un-Alpha he was. Although he was strong , his relationship with Elena was a partnership.

This is what romance needs today guys! A PARTNER not a rich and condescending daddy!

Lucas Cortez, on the other hand, is a lawyer/sorcerer, young master of a Cabal Group, who informally separates from his family's company to pursue a life as a lawyer protecting the rights of other magical beings against abusive Cabals(including his family's). Unlike Clayton, he was slender with brown eyes behind glasses. So basically, a cute, smart nerd who is the 'good' black sheep of the family.

(they are in separate books with different female romantic partners)

2. Quinn Sullivan

Penny Reid’s Neanderthal Meets Human

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Quin…*sighs*... So awesome! He was quiet, mysterious,unsmiling, rich and had an almost perfect handsome face. I love that the author imagined small flaws like almost unnoticeable  crooked bottom front teeth and differing sizes of his ears with one prominent feature -his hawk-like stare. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, he took Janie's quirkiness in stride. Asking questions, debating, protecting, annoying, kissing…. You know the drill..😉

3. Beau Winston

Penny Reid’s Beard in Mind

Genre: Contemporary Romance

On first read, Beau was a good looking, charming good boy who is looking for his path after his twin, Duane left to pursue his own.

What I loved about him was how he dealt with Shelley's(Quinn's Sister) clinically diagnosed mental illness(OCD). He researched about it and made efforts to make it easier for her and was just overall supportive. 

It was awesome how much the author has put an effort in researching OCD facts to make details perfectly accurate and how it was NOT at all a hastily placed plot device to get the story going. 

4.Ted Beaudine

Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ Call Me Irresistible

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Hello to my favorite romance book of all time!

 I think I have read this many times already and have to put off re-reading it again for next year(2021)  to give my brain some time to forget some of the plot. We need to keep the mystery going! amiright??

Anyway, Ted was the perfect genius, good boy and people pleasing guy. He is perfectly polite, straight laced  and has basically carried the whole town in his muscled shoulders for years. (Did I tell you he was the Mayor?) 

Meg's carefree life and struggles basically tickled his good boy bone the wrong way.

Read this novel to witness how a perfect boy and wastrel girl turned out in the end. Seriously Please Read!

5.  Patrick Jason 'Pick' Ryan

Linda Kage' Be My Hero

Genre: Contemporary Romance

  He was the tattoed, orphan softie on the wrong side of town who thankfully did not grow up a thug because of a vision he got when he was young from a moled witch.

One day, his tinkerbell, the star of his visions, enters the bar he works at, but PREGNANT!

Gosh! I loved this so much. This was part of the Forbidden Men Series but can read as a stand alone. Although, I advise you to read the other books also, they were all awesome!

6. Colin Bridgerton

 Julia Quin’s Bridgerton Series

Genre: Historical Fiction/ Romance

Charming, green eyed and younger son, Colin was considered a catch of the ton.

He had a case of wanderlust and couldn't stay at one place without getting an itch. I can't say more without giving a major spoiler, but I loved that the author made him major insecurities.

Because secretly,too perfect is boring, right??

7. Sean Cassidy

Penny Reid and L.H Cosway's  The Player and the Pixie

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Wewowewowewo. *sexy flames* 

Imagine a gorgeous jerk of a jock with sexual inexperience and a rainbow haired goody goody shoes girl (whose brother is his ultimate enemy) who is willing to be the TEACHER!

But it was more than that, I liked how the authors highlighted the perils of kleptomania, the privilege of the rich and how gorgeous jerks are set straight by their women who would not suffer in a relationship with a class A insensitive jerk just because he was good looking and rich.

This was a ride! I lost count how many times I re-read this book.

8. Elend Venture

Branson Sanderson’s Mistborn Trilogy

Genre: High Fantasy

Elend was the angsty boy part of the elite class who is disgusted by his privilege and looks for ways to make the government better by reading outlawed books that spark rebellious and forward ideas. In short, he was a closet revolutionary.

Throughout the series there were some major changes in his life from a closet reader to a person who pursues ideas he just once read in books?

How do they say it? Walk the talk or in his case, Walk the read? (talking about it would mean death)

9.Archer Devereux

April White’s The Immortal Descendants Series

Genre: Time Travel Romance/ Historical Fantasy

Dumdumdumdum. Imagine a conservative college boy from the past your future self time traveled in, spends time with you, helps you in your quest, likes you secretly and is shy about it and becomes a vampire stuck in immortality waiting to meet the 'present' you.

Talk about love lasting through time! This was a great book if you love time travel stories with historically accurate and interesting facts injected heavily into the story! 

10. Rupert Carsington

Loretta Chase’ Mr. Impossible

Genre: Historical Fiction/Romance

A hellion younger son of an earl who loves an adventurous carefree life who is without inhibition, just goes along the ride and has a set of surprisingly caring and dependable muscled shoulders.

Meets a beautiful tempered scholar who needs his help finding his kidnapped brother in the sands of Egypt.

This is perfect for those who love adventure romances, and topics on the papyrus, mummies and the french and British looting conflict in the African colonies.

11. Sebastian Ballister

Loretta Chase’ Lord of Scoundrels

Genre: Historical Fiction/Romance

My favorite Historical Romance book ever!! Like Ted Beaudine's book, I try to read this at least once or twice a year to forget some of the plot and keep the mystery going.

He was called the Marquess of Dain and has been raising hell since childhood and in the present day France where he meets the blue stocking Jessica. The author throughout the book continually refers to them as the Beauty and the Beast.

What makes this book SPECIAL is how intelligent, witty and funny most of their conversations were. It's funny how many books are under many sexy, funny and witty lists on goodreads but only some of those on the list are actually true! THIS BOOK IS ONE OF THEM!

Jess was not annoying or shy or too much of a fighter and Dain was not too obnoxious. It was perfect.

And if you have not read this book or others from this author or genre, I command you to start reading after you finish this article.Break some cherries!

12.  Hardy Cates

Liza Kleypas’ Blue Eyed Devil

Genre: Contemporary Romance

A blue neck Town boy chasing dreams outside of town to leave the shithole of a living. He has white knight complexes but leaves the damsel in distress after the case is solved. Also, muscular and has the blunt and bluest  eyes on Texas 

This book I have also reread many times because it talks about dealing with domestic abuse and moving on after an abusive relationship, dealing with people who have narcissistic disorder and the life of the privileged.

13. Connor ‘Mad’ Rogan

Illona Andrews’ Hidden Legacy Series

Genre: Paranormal Romance (PNR)

Wootwootwoot. Imagine a former military but now head of the House 'Mad' Rogan successfully publicly kidnapping you in broad daylight using only wads of cloth. Talk about a powerful telekinetic! 

I loved that he was once again, A partner in the relationship and not an overprotective ape despite him being awfully more powerful than Nevada.

14.Phil Tucker

Jennifer Crusie Welcome to Temptation

Genre: Contemporary Romance

This is written by an author whose ALL BOOKS WRITTEN i have read and loved.

 Phil is part of a long line of male Mayors in the family and meets almost fugitive-like Sophie. 

Read as they deal with each other, try to take down a production of town porn video, deal with an enemy, try to dirty Phil down to win the next election and spend time reading a romance classic.

15.  Ansel Guillaume

Christina Lauren’s Sweet Filthy Boy

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Known for the many explicit sexy times that can be read throughout the book. So, if you want to stay green in the ears, skip this one till you're legal.

Ansel is a sweet, full of life French Lawyer celebrating with friends in LA and Mia with her friends also, celebrating their newly graduated from college selves.

Ansel is soft, a daydreamer, magnificent bringer of orgasms and game with all things Mia is willing to do.

They married through Elvis and decided to not divorce yet to explore the beautiful France and a  possibility of a good relationship.

AND DONE!

I actually have a lot more but these are for now.

CONSIDER THIS LIST AS A BOOK RECOMMENDATION FOR AWESOME ROMANCES WITH WELL WRITTEN AND SWOON WORTHY CHARACTERS 

Topic for my next blog entry:

How to Find the Next Good Book to Read:

A Guide to Good Sources of Book Recommendations

[ziracona]

hi can we pls have some uhhhh 🅱️uentin Smith headcanons, and some killers hcs if you want! I also lowkey hc Jake and Claudette to both be some degree of autistic, I imprint like a baby bird on my fav characters so I hc both Jake AND Quentin to be trans, and Quentin and Meg are ADHD infodump pals. Literally sitting around the cabin taking turns talking about something they love while the other is sitting there... no thoughts... head empty... they r supporting each other

Nice! And Claudette is canonically autistic according to her archives description as far as I can tell, and I’m so glad! You should check out @askthedreamwalker if you’re interested in Quentin art bc their Quentin is trans and they have really nice art! Also u right as hell about Quentin and Meg. He gets v excited and Meg and he can special-interest back and forth for hours One person is pitcher, pouring information into empty pitcher2, then the other takes a turn and pours back into first pitcher. Info dump support friends. Heaven.

And hells yeah, I love son boy! Idk if you mean ILM headcanons or general, so I’m just gonna go with gen. 

Quentin’s got a big sense of justice. Not okay with people getting away with terrible shit, which makes the realms extra unbearable (somewhere in the distance Yui and Tapp are like ‘cheers mate’). Holds people very accountable. Boy is very fair and got upstanding character. Expects people to operate with like bare minimum decency and ain’t about to let that shit go if someone wants to be a bastard. Last person ever to let a killer get a pass for going around murdering people in-realm and would hold them extremely accountable and be v willing to kill one in a fight and view them with disgust and righteous anger, but also be one of the first people willing to forgive a killer if they genuinely reformed, or got thrown to the survivor side by the Entity and actually chose to shape up and proved they meant it. He has a huge sense of justice and righteous anger, but also believes in forgiveness and second chances. (Within reason. If any of the particularly bastard killers like GF or Nightmare or Clown showed up with a completely ooc change of heart they will never have anyway, Quentin would be like “…listen. …There are some things only God can forgive…U gotta take this one to him…and away from me. Forever…”. Boy got those high-quality standards 👌

Used to be kinda high-strung, but then his life was a living hell for so long that he ran out of energy entirely and now he has no choice but to be mostly chill. If he gets a burst of energy, the old excitement power switch flips back on and he is both way more talkative and active, and happier. Unfortunately he is usually so worn out he’s about to drop.

Got a bit of a martyr complex. The fact that literally locking himself in hell with his worst nightmare worked does not help. Feels massive guilt over the fact that the Nightmare is in the realm bc of him, but is still kind of glad bc it means he’s not out there murdering his family. Hates that he feels that way because he thinks it’s kind of wrong. Views being stuck in the realm as sort of penance for having brought Krueger unintentionally. Afraid to tell other people it’s his fault because he’s scared they would never talk to him again, and the idea of losing his friends and complete isolation here is unbearable. Feels guilt over that choice, because he feels like he’s in a way lying to them, and that if they would hate him if they knew the truth, they have a right to. Boy loves his friends hard, but does not trust them to forgive him, or to trust in him, so he’s not always completely honest about not just that but anything he’s struggling with. Very sad dumbass. Suffers alone because he’s afraid to ask for help, and/or does not think he deserves it.

Really loves the other survivors and would do anything he could to protect them. Dies in the majority of his trials because he battles endlessly trying to keep the others from being the ones who die. In a way, he’s trying to make things up to them, but he would absolutely do the same just because he loves them, and did for a long time before he ever figured out Krueger and him being taken was his fault (not that I personally think that’s a fair way for the boy to view it). Optimistic externally, struggling internally. Absolutely refuses, ever, to give up, but is always right on the threshold of having a breakdown. Pushes the others to find a way to escape and tries to give them hope. Takes a lot of shit. Will not fight back much if teased just be like -__- and moves on. Doesn’t let people boss him around though, and will always do what he thinks personally is the right thing. Extremely forgiving. (Except to himself.)  Snark boy if opportunity presents itself. Can I offer you a shot of adrenaline in this trying time boy? the rest of the time.

Gives people the benefit of the doubt. Not a hoe. Would commit to a s/o very dedicatedly. Also not the kind of asshole who would cut down on time w friends when in a relationship. Boy’s love is not a zero sum game. Would die or kill for Laurie. Loves Claudette and learning botany tips from her. Thinks she is pretty and admires her kindness and skill and refusal to let the world change who she is, and wishes he was more like her. Has not told her that. Is a lot more like her in that regard than he thinks he is. Pretty damn good in a fight bc he always gets back up. Determinator. Still in love with Nancy and loyal af. Misses her a lot. Does not open up about himself as much as people think he does. Misses his dad and Nancy and his dead friends a lot, especially Jesse. Doesn’t actually talk about his problems much. Just suffers in silence because he doesn’t think he can ask for help.

Takes his faith seriously. Prays a lot, and struggles with feeling completely abandoned by God, but won’t give up on that either. Tries hard to believe he cares and things will change. Dedicated to trying to make sure that regardless of what his friends believe in, they are okay. Very sad and alone but tries to not think about that. Tries to help friends stay hopeful. Is both baby and badass sass boy in one package. Fight hard, love hard, someday will get to sleep for a whole year. 

If you are nice to him once, will assume that means you are friends now. Genuinely cares deeply for every single survivor at the campfire. Wants to protect people. Constantly suffering bc that’s impossible here. Really just wants everyone to be okay someday, including himself, and simultaneously kind of feels like he no longer deserves to be okay in the end at all. Tries not to think about that. Massive guilt issues. Bottles it up. Loyal as hell. Would die for his friends so much it actively worries them and they’re like “Quentin…please. Quentin-stop—stop. You’ll die again. I swear to god Quentin! I can die this time! Quentin!!! Come back here right now!” But he never comes back. Big sibling energy. Regularly people be like “Damn u could make a pretty fine lil brother out of this” and then they do. He loves so hard. Please be nice to him. He’s always trying so hard and never thinks it’s enough. He works so hard.

Triggers include being grabbed by his hair and jerked around, losing his necklace, the cave, and the Nightmare within 15 feet of someone he loves, so homeboy has just, a lot of bad days. Is playing a fun game called ‘I will absorb trauma forever and not get help for it and then one day it will kill me’. Needs to learn to depend on his friends.

Good sense of humor, enjoys reading and music. Will talk way too much about things he likes and not notice he’s done it and then feel bad. Dumbass sweetheart, will think he’s doing a great job flirting and be proud of himself when he did not, in fact, do a suave job, but it’s cute. Tries hard. All the time. At everything. God he tries.

I would do killer hcs too but this already so long and I cut like half of what I initially wrote rip. I have too many thoughts. Head full. : ( Here’s just a few little ones:

Myers does not like working for the Entity. It tried to pull a fast one and be like, “Yes tis I, another voice in your head,” and Michael was like “Bitch it’s my head. I don’t know you!” and that did not work. While Michael very much would love to kill Laurie and get inner peace, working for the entity provides 0% daily Michael needs, and he hates it. Sometimes he just does what the fuck he wants and gets in trouble (homeslice is the only killer who can kill survivors with no mori and no perk for it. Michael cannot be controlled). Does not like being here at all. He doesn’t cause the Entity a lot of trouble like Krueger does, so it doesn’t consider him a problem killer, but they do not have a ‘Ah yes my favorite killer’ kind of thing going. Michael hates the spider-monster. He is so tired of everything at this point. Boy is suffering. Would fight the Entity if he knew how. Has been hurt by it before, and does not like that, because it takes longer to heal than he is used to.

Myers has a few times had his home area be close enough to the campfire that he could see it in the distance, and he watches them when that happens. For hours. He is lonely, but does not realize that, and probably never will. He does stand there and watch them, being sad and not realizing he’s sad at all. It’s the closest he ever gets to human interaction aside from killing people in trials.

The Entity hurts Max sometimes, not because he has done anything wrong, but because injuring him without providing even a way to prevent it keeps him peak feral and afraid, just like it wants. No time to recover or learn or grow. Just anger and pain and fear.

The Entity promises Rin a lot of things. Not because it has to, but because it enjoys the taste of her suffering. One of her addons is paper cranes, one of 1000 to make a wish, as the description says. I’ve always interpreted that to mean it likes to screw with her and offer her things like that she can do between trials, in the moments of lucidity she occasionally has when completely alone. ‘Make 1000, get your wish,’ but every time she hits 999, it blows the ones she’s made away, and she has to start over. Unclimbable hill. Just to watch her struggle. That kind of thing. Intentionally tends to send survivors her way it knows she would dislike killing the most, just to watch her have to do it against her will and bask in the horror of what she cannot make herself not do.

[jessread-s]

The Rose Society (The Young Elites, #2)

Book Review: The Rose Society by Marie Lu

Rating: ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ (4.8)

The following review is spoiler free.

Review: After finishing The Young Elites, I just HAD to pick up The Rose Society. Maeve was mysteriously introduced at the end of The Young Elites, where her perspective written in the third person occupied the last chapter. I was not sure of her role or connection to Adelina, but I knew that thing were going to get wild seeing as The Daggers cast Adelina aside. 

What Worked:

01. The new perspectives. As always, I have enjoyed reading from the perspectives of Adelina, Raffaele, and Teren, but it was nice to get a glimpse of Maeve’s life as the Queen of Beldain. Her additional perspective helped me to understand the lengths of her powers, the tension between Maeve and Lucent, and her familial situation, especially the loyalty displayed by her brothers and the motives behind her mother’s actions. 

02. Adelina. Wow. I am not even sure where to begin. In The Young Elites, Adelina was a scared, abused little girl that her father sold to the highest bidder.  She was flawed, worthless, and fated to die by burning until she developed her ability to create illusions. A lot of things change in The Rose Society. For one, Adelina embraces the darkness inside of her. She no longer is the frightened, worthless little girl from the first novel. Adelina is ruthless, determined to destroy all who have betrayed her. But the more Adelina calls on her power, the harder it is for her to distinguish what is real and what is an illusion. It was extremely interesting to see Adelina’s own power betray her, making it clear that Adelina maybe isn’t the most reliable of narrators. It was also heartbreaking to see how much she relied on her ability to create illusions, how her fears and paranoia made her believe that without her powers she would be nothing. It truly goes to show how much her own past has made an impact on her life. She doesn’t know how to love because her father never loved her. She doesn’t know how to trust anyone because of the countless betrayal she has experienced by her own family and the dagger society. Her greatest fear is to be cast aside by all the people she holds dearest in her life. So rather than developing relationships with others, Adelina chooses to destroy all who encounter her. It is easier to abuse power than control it. What really saddened me were those moments when Marie Lu allowed us to see the care-free Adelina. The Adelina who would smile or even laugh on occasion. The Adelina that just wanted to be loved. 

03. The cliffhanger at the end. Though we did not receive a new perspective like we did in The Young Elites, I was still completely blown away by the way Lu chose to end this novel. Adelina went through a huge transformation throughout  The Rose Society, so the ending was very fitting. I will leave it at that. 

04. The sisterly bond. For a majority of The Young Elites, Adelina’s sister Violetta was held captive by Teren and the Inquisition, so we didn’t get to see much of their relationship. With Violetta at Adelina’s side in The Rose Society, it was interesting how things played out. Though we never receive Violetta’s perspective, we learn more about her through Adelina, like the extent of her powers and why she acted the way she did in the past. Lu makes Violetta out to be as the light combatting Adelina’s darkness and it was refreshing to see the two rely on each other. 

05. The darkness. I never expected Marie Lu to completely plunge into the darkness but I am living for it. Rather than continue on with Adelina being a character that falls into a “grey” area like in The Young Elites, I enjoyed watching her completely embrace the fear and fury within her. She let revenge consume her and did not hesitate to kill anyone in her way. Reading from the perspective of a mad, ruthless villain is a breath of fresh air and I love that Adelina does not apologize for who she truly is inside. 

06. The pacing. I could NOT put The Rose Society down. Each chapter pulled me further and further into the madness within Adelina and I could not wait to see how her story would unravel. I also enjoyed the viewpoints from new characters who were featured within the book and their stories were equally as compelling as Adelina’s. I was constantly on the edge of my seat as I sped through the pages feeling a surge of adrenaline as I waited to see how things would play out.  

07. Magiano. Perhaps one of my favorite things about The Rose Society is the addition of Magiano and his relationship with Adelina. In The Young Elites, Raffaele only briefly mentioned Magiano. He was made out to be a character from folklore almost. I was unsure about whether he would be included later in the storyline, but ultimately I am glad Marie Lu placed him in the second novel of the series. It was so interesting to see this character idolized in the first book laid out as a flawed individual like every other character I had encountered thus far. I loved getting to know more about his backstory and his ability which I found incredibly fascinating. What I love most about Magiano is the joy he possesses. Lu created Magiano to be the light in Adelina’s life and I can’t stop thinking about how he is the one who can save her from her own darkness. 

08. The complexity of the characters. I have always been impressed with Marie Lu’s writing abilities, but The Rose Society blew me away. So many characters have been introduced- Adelina, Violetta, Enzo, Raffaele, Teren, Lucent, Gemma, Michel, Maeve, Sergio, Magiano- and each one was completely fleshed out. I was never left confused as to which character was which or how they came to exist with their powers. Each of their separate storylines were compelling and interesting to follow. It was extremely satisfying to see each character fit with one another almost like puzzle pieces. With each new additional perspective, I was able to see the bigger picture. Marie Lu did a phenomenal job capturing the characters’ relationships with one another as well as their morality. 

09. The diversity. Once again, I applaud Marie Lu for creating such diverse characters. Characters of all different ethnicities, skin tones, genders, and sexualities appear front and center. Adelina and her sister Violetta are both women of color, fairing from Tamoura. To take a step further, Adelina is visually impaired. Magiano, Lu’s newest character, identifies as a black man, who later serves as Adelina’s love interest. We also learn that Raffaele is bisexual and one of the other character’s within the dagger society is involved in a same sex relationship. I greatly appreciated Lu’s efforts to include diverse representations.  

What Didn’t Work:

01. The world-building. In my review of The Young Elites, I took issue with the absence of how the blood fever came to be and had a hard time placing the different cities mentioned without referencing the map. We spent a great deal examining Adelina’s present rather than venturing into the land’s history. I thought that these issues would be resolved as I made my way through the series, however The Rose Society failed to answer my questions regarding the outbreak of the blood fever and how Marie Lu’s world came to be. The map at the beginning of the book details three separate “lands”: The Sealands, The Skylands, and The Sunlands. For a majority of the time, the story presides within The Sealands only making small references to The Skylands through Maeve’s character with little detail surrounding The Sunlands. I began to question why such regions were even included. Hopefully, Lu will allow me to explore these lands further in The Midnight Star. 

Jess Approved?: ✓ Review posted to Goodreads

Buy on Amazon: US | UK

[space-malex]

This is the tale of me realizing that Alex Manes is my favorite character on Roswell, New Mexico

I went into the show from the very beginning as a fan of the original. In the original, my favorite character was Michael. Following behind Michael was Maria and Alex. I kind of expected RNM to be the same, and when I watched the pilot, it confirmed my suspicions. I was like “oh yeah, Michael is my guy.” I wasn’t expecting malex, but did that ever shoot to the top of my ships list immediately. I loved all the characters, but I was pretty sure Michael was gonna be my big ol’ fave, just like 20 years ago. However, I was struck by Alex in a way I wasn’t expecting. He was so different from Whitman, but you could see the depth in him and he hit my feels immediately.

Ep 2: I fell more in love with all the characters, including Michael. Seeing his scenes with Isobel and that conversation with Alex at the end, ughhh. But then we got the human scenes and I fell more in love with Alex during his scenes with Maria and Liz. We got to see him smile and open up a little and I felt myself ache with love. And then at the end with him and Michael I could hear my heart cry “my babies.” At that point I was like okay, maybe they’re both my favorites.

So, onto episode 3. Two big things happened that week. The episode aired, and we saw the first instances of Alex hate. There was a lot of talk about Michael deserving better and Alex being a jerk. Until this point, I had been operating under the assumption that Michael was my favorite character, and Alex had hurt him, so it surprised me how fiercely protective I felt over Alex and how upset the attacks against him made me. I immediately jumped to his defense (and I guess I’ve been doing that ever since lmao). I still felt horrible for Michael, but my love for Alex was growing ever stronger. The second thing that happened is that over the weekend following the episode, for whatever reason, the fandom decided to collectively watch Hello Again. You can imagine the result. Everyone became massively thirsty over Tyler in an instant and many of us (the non-PLL fans mainly) realized we had been sleeping on him. Did falling in love with Tyler influence my love for Alex? Perhaps.

Episode 4 was without Alex. Michael was 😩, especially during his scenes taking care of Isobel and his scene at the end with Max and Iz. I just wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. At the same time, I missed Alex. I really felt his absence (same with ep 11). Unlike the episodes without Maria, Kyle, Noah, or Jesse Manes, the omission of Alex left a tangible void in the episode. At least for me (how I did not realize from day fucking one what a goner I was I’ll never know lmao).

And then episode 5 happened and it was all over. I remember the second Alex appeared at the cabin, sassing off to Kyle like the gay icon he is, and the realization physically hit me. “Oh my god. He’s my favorite, isn’t he? My actual son!” Then the rest of the episode happened and solidified my lifelong Alex Manes love and stanning.

Maybe it’s because I relate to him in many ways. Maybe it’s also because I relate to Michael in many ways and Michael has that intense love for Alex too. It’s rare even now in tv for a gay character to “have it all” so to speak. To get a well-developed arc, to be complex, to have a deep relationship with their love interest. Alex gets all of those things. He’s sassy, but he’s not the “sassy gay bff” trope. He’s an abuse survivor who is still dealing with fallout from it, but he’s so strong. He’s a genius but not in a flashy gary sue kind of way. He’s not perfect. He’s flawed. He’s fleshed out. Not to mention, he had the single best character arc of the whole season.

That being said, even though Alex is my favorite character, I love Michael just as much. It’s incredibly rare for me to have an otp where I love them both pretty much equally. The vast majority of the time I will love one half much more than the other. Malex is a special ship in that both halves of it are such well-developed characters individually that there isn’t a wild imbalance in their (narrative) relationship like there can be with a lot of couples. And while I do think that Carina (and the narrative) favors Michael, she’s done justice to Alex and has created a character that a huge portion of the fandom has fallen for. I think that’s pretty awesome.

[a-sjournals-posts]

favorite ao3 - all of them now

Booksmart - Amy and Hope: - indefinitely, maybe by freerangeegghead: In which Amy navigates post-high school life and finds something she never knew she was looking for (2 chapters, 16,532 words) - Never Break the Shape We’ll Take by lco123:  Five girls Amy kisses after graduation. (5 chapters, 10,820 words) - homemade dynamite by magnet:  A twelve-year-old Hope moves into the same apartment complex as Molly Davidson. (2 chapters, 26,818 words) - scoring points on and off the field by lover_of_many_things:  Hope is the captain of the soccer team. Amy is her nerdy and activist obsessed self. She and Amy just kind of fall into each other–literally. (one shot, 5,955 words) Fifth Harmony - Camila and Lauren - waterloo by listenup_folks:  Lauren has always known Camila is the most amazing person in the whole world. It isn’t until her senior year that she realizes there’s only one “most amazing person in the world” and that she wants nothing more than for that person to be hers. (10 chapters, 29,825 words) pitch perfect - emily junk and beca mitchell (seen pp2 and missed them) - Fake It ‘Til You Make It by  bmcbapej:  It takes years for Beca and Emily to properly question why they’re so good at making other people believe they’re dating. (one shot, 4,165 words) - to have and to hold (until we grow old) by  moxiemorton:  If their paths crossed before they met at Barden, it would’ve purely been luck. Not fate, not destiny, none of that soulmate crap. Just luck. (one shot, 8,083 words) - Look Into My Eyes And Say You Want Me, Too (Like I Want You) by saturndust:  The first time Beca Mitchell saw Emily Junk was when she met her at HSMUN. Debate was dull as hell and Beca wanted to go home. But then she saw the tall brunette sitting and blowing bubble gum and crap She’s pretty. And then she talks to her and Beca wants the conference to last forever. (one shot, 5,402 words) - hey honey you could be my drug (…all this trash talk make me itchin’) by  sylviewashere :  There’s a new a capella group on campus, and they’re the Bellas main competition for Nationals. It’d be easier for Beca to hate them if their captain wasn’t so cute. (one shot, 4,168 words) - i wouldn’t know where to start (sweet music) by sylviewashere:  Beca’s known Jesse and Emily for most of her life. She never thought of Emily as more than Jesse’s little sister, and then suddenly, they become roommates, and Beca thinking that Emily is cooler than she thought. Maybe a lot cooler. (one shot, 3,666 words) - Can I Get Your House Key? by wherehopelies:  Since they were kids, Emily and Beca always used to joke how they would live together when they got older. Emily never expected those jokes to become reality, but she never expected to fall in love with her best friend since kindergarten either. (one shot, 16,706 words) - I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me by wherehopelies:  “Being a guardian angel is kind of the worst. Especially when you’re designated Human is the disaster that is Beca Mitchell.” (one shot, 3,761 words) - I’m Starting To Want You (More Than I Want To) by wherehopelies: "In the years after, they’ll say it started with a kiss on a stormy night. They’ll say it began with tequila and lust and boredom. They’ll remember hot skin and frantic breathing and the taste of alcohol mixed with new beginnings and maybe just a little bit of we-shouldn’t-do-this.The truth is, it was much more innocent than that.“ (one shot, 5,907 words) - is it cool that i said all that? (is it too soon to do this yet?) by wherehopelies: bemily tattoo au or the one where beca’s a tattoo artist and chloe is the resident piercing specialist and they’re totally into the cute girls who stop by one day. side flirty chacie because i can (one shot, 11,026 words) - like a needle on a record (you fit right into me) by moxiemorton:  She literally just wanted to get rid of a persistent frat boy at the bar. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love, damnit. (3 chapters, 9,597 words) Girl meets world - Riley and Maya: - When the Stars Shoot Across the Sky by TruthandLies: Maya once found her safe place in a girl who loves the stars. When that girl gives her love to someone else, Maya is forced to find a new safe place. Along the way, she and her star-loving best friend discover important things about themselves - and each other. (one shot, 11,289 words) (just makes so much sense still) - drowning (in you) by truthandlies: Lucas has always been Riley’s excuse. Her head-cheerleader-dating-captain-of-the-football-team, straight-girl-in-love-with-straight-boy, normal-normal-normal excuse.Maya is her cataclysm. (one shot, 2184 words) - we only know this light deep in the woodwork by BerryliciousCheerio: “She thinks she could write a hundred thousand pages on it and barely scratch the surface.or: it takes a day and also her entire life for riley matthews to fall in love” (one shot, 8,334 words) juliantina - juliana and valentina - que quieres de mi by unsocial_kid:  Juliana is the stoic bodyguard assigned to protect the youngest Carvajal heir. Valentina is the bratty rich girl who can’t stop teasing her new bodyguard. (one shot, 2,543 words) Legacies - Hope and Josie (and Penelope) - From dusk till dawn by SilentRain91:  It started off as stolen moments when nobody was looking. Soon, it became their little secret. Josie never kept something this big from Lizzie before. (16 chapters, 35,144 words) - Soccer and Sunshine by  misa_pisa:  Josie is asked to join her school’s soccer team, by no other than the captain herself. Josie had always admired Hope from the far and now gets the chance to train right beside her. The two of them start to spend a lot of time together during private soccer lessons and math tutoring. In between looks, talks and jokes the feelings between them start to grow. (6 chapters, 11,523 words) - Have I lost my mind by Knight_of_darkness:  Josie has to question her sanity as she keeps seeing a strange girl in her dreams (2 chapters, 34,035 words)  -  Stealin’ My Heart by Thatoneloser_kid: “I’m leaving as soon as I turn eighteen,” Hope said.“Where?” Penelope asked.“No idea,”“Maybe we could all go,” Josie suggested offhandedly, reclining back on the blanket, both Penelope and Hope mirroring her, Hope hooking an arm behind her head.“Thelma and Louise this shit,” Penelope added with a little laugh.“Didn’t they die?” Hope asked.“Mm,” Penelope hummed, “Went out in a blaze of glory.”  (one shot, 12,931 words) - the infinite curse of a lonely heart by dandelionlighters:  For centuries, he had served as a winged assistant to Aphrodite, doing her bidding and sometimes—when she wasn’t looking—his own. He had been reaching for an arrow from his quiver when it had happened. He had felt a pull at the back of his head one second, and then he had disappeared from existence in the next moment. (2 chapters, 3,325 words) - the game by PosieParkzman:  Everyone knew of Hope and Penelope. Desired by many, heartbreakers by trade. Though not everyone knew that love to them was a game, a game they liked to play. With a new year the game resets and the hunt begins. What happens when they both desire the new girl in town, Josie Saltzman. (28 chapters, 47,079 words) - by summer’s ripening breath by slytherinmayflower: "This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet” (9 chapters, 79,720 words) (I think I finished this in 2 days and I don’t regret any minute of it) - when I kissed the teacher by Little_Miss_Silver:  Josie's failing one of her classes. What happens when the reason she's failing ends up tutoring her? (2 chapters, 4,473 words) Supergirl - Kara and Lena - hope you’ll be safe (in the arms of another) by thistableforone:   Lena Luthor and Maura Isles went to boarding school together. They had a close relationship, and despite the years they find the chemistry is still there. The only difference is, they’re both in love with someone else now. (3 chapters, 13,112 words) - A Ribbon at a Time by abcooper:  After Lex Luthor defeated Superman, after the courts declared him innocent, after CADMUS rose to power, 16 year old Kara Danvers went into hiding. Five years later, a chance encounter with L-Corp CEO Lena Luthor throws her back into everything she’s been running from. (5 chapters, 27, 929 words) - If you don’t love me, pretend (just for a few more hours)… by Khrat9:  where Kara and Lena aren’t friends. One night stands… but like several night per month, sometime more. (5 chapters, 24,817 words) - “Professional” Curiosity by TheSpaminator:  Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers are the CEO’s of their own respective family owned companies. Their families are feuding. Their companies are feuding. So does that mean that by default, so are they? (6 chapters, 17,582 words) - here we are, two helping hands by falsealarm:  A chord of unease vibrates in the pit of Lena’s stomach as Kara sets the folder in front of her and says, “I need to talk to you about something important.” (one shot, 9,016 words) - Surprise Me by Thatoneloser_kid:  Kara is a Barista who is in a band and Lena is a CEO with a child and an ex-husband (one shot, 5,060 words) - the more it’s gone (the more it takes away) by cyclothimic:   A huge part of her was tempted to just leave National City to the wind and go around the globe. But deep down, she knew that if she abandoned the city, that would only piss Lena off more (one shot, 5,273 words) - in black ink my love may still shine bright by PandaPaladin:  On an awfully slow day at CatCo, Kara writes on her desk to complain about her work life to nobody in particular. When she comes back from a break, someone with messy, loopy penmanship writes back to her. (one shot, 11,412 words) (love it so much) - supergirl in training by wtfoctagon: Lena Luthor doesn’t plan to have any kids. Or to get married, even, really. After the revelation that she is actually of Luthor blood after all, she’s quite set on ending the family line with her and not taking the risk of any more drama.Then Lorelai L. Danvers crashes into her life, claiming to be her seventeen year old daughter from the future. (19 chapters, 71,381 words) (just take your time while reading it. It makes everything so much better) - take my hand, take my whole life too by pandapaladin:  “There’s a stone statue in Midvale. A beautiful lady with her hands on her hips, a confident smile on her lips, and every feature on her body looks like it was molded from the corners of space. Her chest has a wide, golden ‘S’ on it, and the locals like to affectionately call her Supergirl.” (one shot, 15,135 words) - now you’re speaking my language by pandapaladin: Lena, wanting to surprise her best friend, learns Kryptonian to make Kara feel at home.During a night out with Kara and her cousin, Lena overhears them speaking in Kryptonian— about how much Kara liked her. (one shot, 7,073 words) - we were mint to be by pandapaladin:  The door to the ice cream parlor jingled to signify the arrival of a new customer. Kara Danvers looked up from her cramped work area, wishing that there was a way she could catch the eye of a certain Luthor, who ordered a modest scoop of mint chocolate every Wednesday morning. (one shot, 17,221 words) - a spoken word is not a sparrow by pandapaladin: Linda agreed to help Kara confess her feelings to a certain friend. She’ll just confess Kara’s undying love for Lena, then they’ll switch out, and Kara will get the girl. It was as easy as baking pie.Except Lena doesn’t believe them. (one shot, 9,045 words) - I believe, you can get me through the night by jazzfordshire: Kara is a sexless housewife in 1969, feeling trapped with nowhere to go. But when mysterious, kind-hearted Lena Luthor moves in next door, hosting swinger’s parties but ignoring the men, Kara’s whole world shifts on its axis. (2 chapters, 21,206 words) - I keep my distance (but you still catch my eye) by jazzfordshire:  Lena and Alex, two strangers recovering from breakups, swap houses over the holidays for a spur-of-the-moment trip. Neither of them expected to find a holiday fling – but what happens on vacation, stays on vacation. Right? (2 chapters, 26,451 words) - love & collecting butterflies by somanyfeelings:  "a childhood au where Lena and Kara grow up near each other and are BFFS and they have pillow fights and hang out in Lena’s treehouse and carve their names into the tree and then as they grow up they go from BFFs to soulmates” (one shot, 3,860 words) - You to Me, Me to You by wtfoctagon:  When Kara sees a vase of flowers on Lena’s desk, she doesn’t get jealous per se– it’s just that she thinks that Lena deserves so much better than a measly, cliche bunch of roses. (one shot, 6,497 words) - we are what we pretend to be by C_AND_B:  After the unrestricted office access, and the flowers, and the surprise visits to Catco, everyone just kinda starts to assume Kara and Lena are dating, and maybe they should let them. (AKA, Lena and Kara really just date whilst pretending they’re fake dating). (one shot, 25,164 words) - Luthor Escort Services by uhpockuhlipz:  Kara needs a last minute date to her sister’s wedding. Luthor’s Escort Services is there to help, but Lena is nothing like what Kara was expecting (one shot, 4,315 words) - let’s make this a reality by spacemanearthgirl:  Or Kara goes back into the past one more time. A fix it of sorts for the last episode. (one shot, 940 words)(found it on tumblr) - Don’t Be A Cliché by BroodyJC:  “I am ashamed of all of you for not letting me know about this.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, shakes her head. “It makes so much sense know.” And she smiles, as if she knows something the others don’t. “So, Kara, are you going to ask her to the game tomorrow?” (3 chapters, 28,240 words) (think I read this one 3 times already) -Sanctuary by SilentRain91:  Lena is curious about a new project her mother has been gushing about without sharing specific details. Wanting to find out more, she sneaks into the restricted area to see what the fuss is about. What she didn’t expect was to find a girl in a cage. (2 chapters, 5,367 words) - the coldest blood (runs through my veins) by AgentJoanneMills: “You know I’d kill for you, right?”Lena laughs, amused, even as her toes curl at the affection in Kara’s voice. “You kill people anyway,” she points out.“True,” Kara allows, “but I’d enjoy doing it more, if it were for you.” (one shot, 2,810 words) - i don’t wanna give you up (so what’s it gonna be?) by statisticallysignificant: it was practically high school code for the most popular girl to end up with the most popular boy at school, the nerdiest girl to end up with the dorkiest boy at school. thank god, the parties in question have different ideas.(3 chapters, 3,167 words) - Scripted Destiny by devschreibt:  On her 17th birthday, her destiny will reveal itself. On that day, the first words of her one true love would mark her skin forever. And when she finally gets the courage to actually see the writing, she cringes, because on her shoulder blade it says, “(mouthed) above us only sky.” Now what? (3 chapters, 18,795 words) - the heiress, the girl of steel, and the man who fell to earth by littlebrother:  Basically, what if Lena found Mon El's pod? (12 chapters, 66,388 words) (this is my favorite. Seriously it made me miss mon el) - The Fifth Wall by Black_Tea_and_Bones: Kara goes to bed with Mon-El, and wakes up with Lena Luthor.But it isn't Kara’s bed, and they’re not in Lena’s apartment, and that is definitely not their baby... Right? (28 chapters, 109,226 words) - For the Things We Lost in the Undergrowth by seabiscuit:  All Kara Danvers wants to do is go to college, solve the crime, get the girl, and secure her beat on the campus newspaper. Unfortunately for her, it doesn't all happen in that order. (6 chapters, 47,479 words) - A Foolish Wit by seabiscuit:  Lena Luthor needs a husband, Clark Danvers needs an easy resolution to his cash flow problem.Unfortunately, the best laid plans often go awry. (3 chapters, 27,890 words) dc’s legends of tomorrow - ava and sara - you make me smile (please stay for a while now) by CoffeeAndArrows and moonlitprincess: "Something about Ava's small smile, about the comforting warmth of her beside Sara, the familiarity of wandering to class together, the way she didn’t seem to look at Sara as though she expected anything, expecting a way of acting and being and reacting, as though Sara didn’t owe her anything. For the first time since she’d walked into school earlier that morning, Sara felt like she could breathe.Maybe, just maybe, this year wasn’t off to an entirely bad start." (35 chapters, 342,035 words) (read it in a month, while working and uni and it made life so much happier) - i just wanna spend the nights with you by moonlitprincess: college au where ava is only MILDLY crushing on campus heartthrob sara lance and can totally 100% be chill with a casual hookup ... until she realises sara has abs. (ft. our favourite ladies being useless gay disasters & plenty of unexpected feelings) (one shot, 8,963 words) - for reasons wretched and divine by Phoebmonster:  AU - Ava is a princess, and Sara is the bandit who's kidnapped her, and together they have an adventure that changes them both, and their world, forever - featuring the rest of the legends as the loveable rogues we know they are at heart. (6 chapters,  20,727 words) - the day before you came by Phoebmonster: "So, the brief is ..." She tapped her fingers on the wheel. "Make your Mom believe you're really gay and give you some peace and quiet next year."Ava nodded, and Sara grinned."Right, I can do that." She said, more to herself than anything.aka the 'i've hired you to pretend to be my partner to annoy my family at christmas but i think i'm really falling for you' AU that Absolutely no one asked for. (6 chapters, 13,566 words) -if only, if only (you were mine)  by Phoebmonster: high school au - ava and sara are paired together to look after a robot baby for their social studies classthey've never liked eachother, so a weekend in close proximity of eachother with a screaming baby can only end badly ... right? (one shot, 10,787 words) - inching close, closer to the edge by JourEtNuit: “But why do we have to pretend to be married?” Sara whines. “Can't we, I don't know, go as friends or cousins, or something. Oh, I know! She could be my secretary...”“It's a couples retreat, Miss Lance," Rip says, tiredly. (one shot, 5,381 words) - see me, feel me (love me) by lexa_lives_in_us:  Sara notices. Of course Sara notices. She’s a former assassin and a vigilante, a really good one at that, she has to be observant and aware of other people’s quirks, to get her job done. So, of course, she notices. It’s Ava who doesn’t notice how closely Sara has been paying attention to her. (one shot, 4,454 words) (i cried through the whole thing) - Not The Way You Plan by plinys:  In which Sara lies about dating a guy in a coma, and might accidentally be falling in love with his sister in the meantime. (one shot, 6,816 words) - painted me golden by lucylikestowrite:  Ava and Sara meet at Ava's sister's wedding. (one shot, 3,914 words) - sleepovers (in my bed) by izziebee: Sara and Ava are not friends. Okay, fine they are friends, but definitely nothing more than that.Or 5 times Ava and Sara sleep together (it's platonic of course) and 1 time they don’t. (6 chapters, 6,633 words) runaways - Karolina and Nico - like or like like by makeitmakesense:  But, she supposes, all great rivalries have some sort of wild origin story to explain the bitter air that surrounds them - what would make her and Nico’s any different? (3 chapters,  37,891 words) - and now she’s so devoid of color she don’t know what it means (and she’s blue) by abnormalhuman:  Nico Minoru hasn’t been able to see color for as long as she can remember. Needless to say, Nico has lost all hope of ever meeting her soulmate and getting to see the beautiful colors of the world again. The chances of ever meeting her soulmate and kissing them is slim to none. It’s a hard concept to grasp, but then again, a world of darkness is all she knows.  (one shot, 10,655 words) - maybe if I told you the right words at the right time (you’d be mine) by  somniatoressinespe: or “they go on a roadtrip and nico spends half the time staring at karolina” (one shot,16,173 words) - the 100 - abby griffin and raven reyes - On the Way Home by hummingbirdswords:  “we catch the same bus home and i always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop” AU (one shot, 5,308 words) bonus - lena luthor and sara lance (yes it’s real) - Stumbling Toward Enlightenment by Selenay: Sara Lance is a yoga instructor. Lena Luthor is CEO of Luthor Industries.They're from different worlds, but they might just be exactly what each other needs. (one shot, 8,992 words) (best one, gays, best one)

[rckyclrk]

alex turner. 27. cismale. he/him. the black keys | i can’t believe i just saw RICKY CLARK walking out of cadence records. they’re the VOCALIST / BASSIST from the PUNK group HEATSTROKE who have been in the industry for THREE YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their COLDHEARTED nature , but they’re also pretty CHARISMATIC and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of FRIENDS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM BAR FIGHTS, CUNNING SMIRKS, CRYING FROM RAGE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE.

hello !!! i’m jess, i’m 22, reside in the bst timezone and use she/they pronouns !! i literally only found this rp like two hours before it opened for plotting so excuse me if this intro seems a bit rushed, and i apologize for how late it is. this is the first of my muses, king asshole ricky clark. he’s a damaged angsty boi and i hate / love him. please like this if you’d like to plot, or slide into my IMs! 

p.s. we can also plot on discord @ aries baby#7087 and you can check out a pinterest board for ricky here!

trigger warnings: heart disease, loss of a parent, ‘daddy issues’, abandonment, drugs & alcohol mentions, violence implication

BACKGROUND

ricky was born to dirt-poor parents in upstate new york. they had pretty much nothing but the basic necessities but it was v much a “they had each other and that was enough” kinda thing

his mother was his hero, ricky idolized her as she would do anything for him & was a kind, honest woman with a good heart who put every penny she earned into trying to give ricky a good life.

but his dad? quite the opposite. he was a distant, aggressive man with violent tendencies. whenever he was home, he was causing conflict. but most of the time, he wasn’t. it was pretty obvious that he was cheating on ricky’s mom, as well as just generally giving zero shits about his son. he was just an all-around asshole.

his mom was a waitress. she worked very few shifts as she wanted to make sure she could spend a lot of time around her son making sure he had a good upbringing.

when ricky was eleven, she suddenly fell ill with heart disease and her condition deteriorated very quickly. she could no longer work and decided to turn to music as a way of coping, learning to play guitar to keep her spirits up. ricky always took an interest in this and loved listening to her play him his favorite songs in the final years of her life

she ended up passing away before she could see ricky enter his teenage years. in their shared grief he and his father bonded and had a better relationship for a short period, before long he was back to his old tricks again never coming home & ricky had to basically raise himself for a little while, before finally he ended up in the foster care system for the remainder of his teen years

this is where he taught himself how to play the bass guitar his mom had left behind for him, as well as singing and songwriting.  he quickly realized why she found such escapism in music. 

he was a bit of a ‘bad boy’ archetype at school, who was constantly getting into fights etc but would show a softer side to the other outcast kids, especially the other musicians

foster care is also where he manifested a lot of resentment, anger & hostility after everything he had gone through. he kinda felt like life had dealt him such a shitty hand, and he had so many abandonment issues due to his father’s ways. he struggled to bond with any of his foster families and basically hopped around homes for years, still mourning his mom & acting out as a coping mechanism

so pretty much the second he turned eighteen and could leave foster care he got the hell out of town and headed downstate to new york city with pretty much nothing to his name, telling himself he was off to pursuit a career as a solo musician. he wandered around a bit, going about his life as somewhat of a vagabond living out of cheap motels whilst he struggled to settle. 

after a few years spent working shitty 9-5 jobs and almost ending up homeless multiple times, he figured it was time to admit defeat and head back home, as his dreams of becoming a musician hadn’t really took off. he returned to his hometown & found that an old classmate from high school had been advertising around town, for a bassist for his band. it seemed like the perfect opportunity, and ricky jumped on board.

before he could even process it, the band were moving to LA to chase their dreams of making it big. after performing in bars & underground venues, they landed themselves a record deal with cadence

ricky LOVES the fame. he’s finally getting the love, adoration & attention he lacked in his life after his mom died. he’s living the rockstar lifestyle, having fun, and doing whatever he can to feel fulfilled and numb the pain and lasting scars left by his past — which by the way, he’d rather die than open up about.

PERSONALITY

so as is mentioned, the whole thing with his past has made him grow extremely resentful as a person and he has a lot of pent up issues that he bottles up. this makes him extremely stand-offish, short fused, arrogant etc? but the better someone gets to know him the more they’ll see a softer side to him. he’s a complex, multi-dimensional and very guarded person

he’s FIERCELY loyal and will protect his friends at all costs ( yes surprisingly he does have friends ) he’s prepared to fight someone if they’ve done something to hurt his friends

hes a really social guy despite the fact he can be quite intimidating. if you’re not on his bad side he’ll be completely fine with you, like? the main thing that’d get someone onto his bad side would be if they just assumed he was an asshole based on his initial demeanor, without getting to know him

Closed Off Emotionally™ - he basically put up a huge wall so that nobody can see how much the abandonment from his past has got to him but there’s definitely a kinder, damaged boy beneath who just needs time tbh

he lives his life pretty carelessly bc he kinda cant resist the whole idea of a rockstar lifestyle. very reckless i know but can you blame him? the issues of his past are still very much there so he tries to numb the pain in any way he can by drinking and taking drugs tbh, which he knows is unhealthy & he’s trying to stop

actually pretty funny when he wants to be

really competitive

a bicon

when given reason, he can care so deeply about people. it’s so hard for them to see it because of the way he is, but a dead give-away is that if he really cares about someone he will never lie to them. ever

he’s basically just very intense if you couldnt tell already

[mazojo]

Favorite Sohma’s

Hi yes, uh, I needed a space to rant about fruits basket because I am still very broken so yea

Disclaimer that this is just my opinion and I still love them all very much, just needed to get this out of my system ayee. Also I will include a song that reminds me of them because I am that invested in this so yeaaaa

14- Kagura Sohma

Boy by Little Mix - “I know what you’re worth girl, you know what you got”

I rank Kagura as my least favorite just for the fact that I cant really relate to her I guess? I mean, she is okay, I think she is cute and all but I don't think violence is the way to go about her struggles and she is so much more worth than she gives herself credits for. In the end, I dont think I full understood her big struggle as much as the other characters and thats why she is at number 14, although I want her to be happy and full of love and support like the others ;w;

13- Akito Sohma

My Eyes by Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day - “But it’s plain to see, Evil inside of me is on the rise”

Akito is a complicated one for me man. Of course, in the beginning and throughout the manga you learn to really dislike her because she did some terrible things, specially to my baby boi Yuki and eye-.... But then when we learn more about her and everything she has gone through we start sympathizing with her but i..... cant just forget everything she did. I get she was traumatized since she was little, she became dependent on the zodiacs because of her father’s words and mother’s behaviour thus becoming a broken person with this big responsibility she didn't ask for. It really ticks me however, how much pain the others underwent through her, and even though its a healing process, the traumas and everything they suffered is still there which is why I cant place her higher. I do not hate her by any means, but she isnt my favorite person on this list either. I do ship her with Shigure and I think they help each other out, and they grow from the other.

12- Shigure Sohma

Used to the Darkness by Des Rocs - “Now would you pray before you twist the knife? Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life?”

*big sigh* Shigure is also a complicated one for me. It may be my big dumb energies showing but I didnt fully get a grasp on his character? I know he was doing everything for Akito’s sake to liberate from the curse and be with her so she is finally a “woman” but he always acted a bit shady xD?? I would have love to know more about his backstory, we dont get much from his motivations and character other than the perverted aspect and that he loves Akito lmaoo. I do think he is hilarious and I love the dynamic he has with Hatori and Ayame lol

11- Ayame Sohma

Starships by Nicky Minaj - “Starships were menat to fly, Hands up and touch the sky “

To be honest I am pretty neutral about Ayame’s character. He is hilarious and I love how Yuki insults him every tike he gets the chance lolll. I like how throughout the story he tries to change to become a better brother to Yuki and person even though he is pretty extra most of the time about it. He has a good heart and even though he made some mistakes he owns up to them which in my opinion, makes him a good character <33 I love his friendship with Hatori lmaooo they balance each other out sooo well

10- Kureno Sohma

Taking Chances by Celine Dion - “Never knowing if there's solid ground below, Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay”

I really like Kureno! He has gone through quite a bit and he needs a hug. I am sad thinking how most of his life he lead it pretty similarly to Yuki’s, apart from everyone and super enclosed to his relationship with Akito due to him breaking the curse and feeling bad about it. I do wish we would have gotten to know more about his personality and story, if we did I would have definitely ranked him higher! He really reminds me of Tohru’s father and I think Uotani is perfect for him <33 would have love to see more about the two of them and hopefully they expand upon it in the anime

9- Ritsu Sohma

Waving Through a Window by Ben Platt - “On the outside, always looking in, Will I ever be more than I've always been?”

Okay okay so I have a lot of thoughts on Ritsu. Manga Ritsu is okay, I really dont have much of an opinion on him due to him appearing only in a few chapters, I feel like from the Sohma’s, he is the one we get the least information about. But then the anime episode came out where they presented Ritsu and I thought they gave him so much more life and rounded personality where, I get to relate a lot to him? I am someone who is constantly apologizing for absolutely no reason and seeing him be all anxious and stressed about others interactions is big relate to me and I stan. I also think the whole dressing as a woman plot line is better dealt with in the anime and I hope we get to see more about his insecurities and troubles in the future because he is truly a very interesting character! I stan my one (1) anxious monkey.

8- Kisa Sohma

Mean by Taylor Swift - “But you can take me down with just one single blow, But you don't know what you don't know”

Cinnammon rooooooolll. Kisa is such a cutie. I dont have much to say other than my mood every time I think about Kisa is hugging her like Tohru does because she is babyyyy. Also her bullying story is one I think many viewers and readers can relate a lot to and such an important topic I think they covered pretty well and I loveee. Also her and Hiro are one of my favorite ships because they work so well and asdfgh in this household Kisa is a queennn.

7- Isuzu Sohma

Take me Home by Jess Glynne - “Came to you with a broken faith, Gave me more than a hand to hold”

I really like Isuzu!! I am pretty bummed we wont get to meet her in season 1 of the Anime reboot but hopefully in the nest season! She is quite a complex character that I didnt really understand at the beginning but once we see how much she loves Haru and all that she does in order to protect and keep him save she really went up my list. She has gone through so much, from her shattered reality from her parents, Akito threatening Haru, her being locked up withour given any food.... Isuzu is so strong and one of the best build characters in the series and I am super excited to see her in the anime!

6- Hiro Sohma

Time to be a Man by The Airborne Toxic Event - “And it’s time to be a man, Tell me how does that go?”

My bastard childdd <33 He is such an asshole and such a sweetie at the same time. His whole inner struggle of not feeling like a good enough man for Kisa is so heartwhelming and I think it really makes sense to the type of person he is. The flashbacks of him telling Akito how he loves Kisa and the feeling of uncertainty and impotency when seeing the girl he loves being hurt by his actions and wanting to be good enough for her even though he is more than enough sdfghjasd. I am also a softie for older brothers who love their families *cough cough* spoiler alert: Momiji *cough cough* that I love me one angry boi

5- Hatsuharu Sohma

4 Seasons by Rex Orange County - “I saw myself as less and you so high above me”

Cow boil! apart from the fact that I love love loveeee Haru’s design, I think he is also such a well build character! He is not only supportive of everyone (aka the loves of his life, Rin and Yuki xDD) but he is so interesting! His split personalities give him a cool trait (even though dark Haru doesnt appear much in the end of the manga) and I love how he helps everyone and makes sure those he loves are protected at all cost and happy. He is Rin and Yuki’s fan club stan leader and I am co-leader so we been stanning aye

4- Hatori Sohma

Fireflies by Owl City - “I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell”

Boooooy the next four to come are my absolute favorties and I would die for their happiness and love so *takes big breathe* I LoVE hAtORi sOhMAAa. To be honest when we first meet him I didnt like him much. I thought he was your usual dark deep character who doesnt talk much because he is too cool for everyone (which, he is) and that was that. But boi was I in for a riDE. His story about having to erase the memories from the woman he loves is one of the ones I cried through the most. I put myself in his shoes and wonder if I had to erase the memory of the person I loved the most, make them forget they ever met me, all our happy times, sad times, angry times.... No matter what its one of the most saddening moments and the whole scene is heartbreaking, which makes me love Hatori even more for the fact of how strong he is and selfless. He puts himself before others and he need to know he also deserves happiness and I am glad in the end he got it because homeboy needed a break ;w;. I also adore Ayame’s relationship with him xDD, he is like his idol and big same.

3- Kyo Sohma 

This song saved my Life by Simple Plan - “Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, Trapped in a world where everyone hates me”

Top three babyyyy. We have now my angry cat boi™. I mentioned it before but going into the reboot firsthand without reading the manga nor watching the first anime, I thought Kyo was going to be my absolute favorite character. I knew he would be the angry boi who was soft inside and probably had a tragic backstory™ that made him act the way he did and I am a sucker for those types of characters. And I love Kyo, I really do, specially when we find out more about his struggles and past. The exclusion he felt throughout his life for being the cat, the abandonment, feeling like he had no one and was ready to die because he didn't have any source of genuine happiness (well, apart from Kazuma ya know but stillll). Then he finds Tohru, the girl he promised to protect, the one that reminded him of the woman that helped him out all those years ago and I just.... poetic cinema at its finest. Kyo and Tohru make one of my favorite couples and I love how flustered and In absolute l o v e he is with her and Kyo is great man....

2- Yuki Sohma

Nandemonaiya by RADWIMPS - “Crying even when you're happy, Smiling even when you're feeling lonely”

THIS WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS OF MA ENTIRE WEEB CAREER SO EXCUSE WHILE I SCREAM. Yuki Sohma won my heart and entire soul throughout the series. I liked him from the start but he wasn't my favorite favorite at the beginning you know? I thought he was isolated and thats why he didn't have much friends and he was perfect and what not but boi was I wrong and happy about it. I think one of the reasons Yuki is one of my favorite characters in fruits basket is how much I can see myself in him. Having the constant need of perfection while also wanting to connect with others but finding it hard is something I personally struggle with and every time we learned a little bit about his backstory my heart broke. Everything Yuki had to go through, the rejection, the isolation, understanding that you are loved and not a burden, falling in love with someone, finding that figure of a mother/friend he always yearned for.... The complexity of Yuki’s character is astounding and I love my rat boi so so much.... When he joins the student council, finding his little group of friends and opening up to a more carefree and true Yuki, forgiving those around him and going and eye- YuKI IS MY BABY RAT BOI AND STAN HIM OR PERISH FROM HERE ;w;

1- Momiji Sohma 

Eine Kleine by Rachie - “If I were to go through life living just to take somebody else's place, Then I would rather have been born as a pebble, living out my peaceful days “

*Clears throat* *trumpets sounds intensify* *stands on podium* I LOVE MOMIJI SOHMA WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. Thats it. Thats what I want you to get out of this post. I don't know if this is maybe an unpopular opinion-ish but Momiji’s backstory of his mother rejecting him, saying awful things, him having to accept being forgotten by his mother and sister whom he loved, not even being able to live with his family, is one of the most heartbreaking ones of fruits basket. Maybe its like what I said with Hiro and I am a sucker for big brothers that love their families, the sad smile of Momiji, my baby, angel, perfection when he sees his family and not being able to be with them, him loving Tohru but letting her go and be with Kyo because its her happiness that matters to him and I am-..... The selflessness of Momiji and how much of a sweetheart he is, his heart of gold and always being there for those around him, that moment where Akito was looking for Tohru and he got hurt trying to defend her.... Momiji is one of my all time favorite characters. He is a precious bean and I will never not shut up about my love for ma boi <333

Anyways that was long and ramble but I just needed to shout this somewhere because I've been missing they //rip

[jobrosupdates]

Nowstalgia: Jonas Brothers' Second Coming

Story by Jael Goldfine / Photography by Robin Harper / Styling by Britt McCamey

On a conference call, the morning after the Met Gala, Nick Jonas divides his and his brothers' career in two: before and after Disney Channel first aired the "Year 3000" music video in 2007. Before "things weren't working," afterwards "it all came together." In the infamous clip, a 15-year-old Nick, 18-year-old Joe and 20-year-old Kevin, dressed in Converse and graphic tees (Joe in camouflage, Nick and Kevin in Ed Hardy) fall into a portal in a suburban living room, shimmering with CGI sparkles like an Instagram filter. They emerge enthused to find that, among other developments, in the future they are rock stars wearing matching suits, with a pile of magazine covers and a new album that outsold Kelly Clarkson.

We are on the phone, along with Joe and Kevin, to talk about The Jonas Brothers' surprise reunion and their first album in six years, Happiness Begins. Much like the rest of the world, however, I am fascinated by their past.

Like The Jonas Brothers' second coming, "Year 3000" is an intoxicating orgy of nostalgia for anyone who lived through their genesis: malls were in their heyday, technology was magical, not terrifying, Instagram was a prototype on a jewel-colored Mac desktop in Silicon Valley, and Kelly Clarkson was the gold standard for album sales. The prophetic song feels self-congratulatory now, but at the time, it represented a fantasy. The Jonas Brothers didn't know that they'd spend much of their adolescence in matching suits, or that their next album would, indeed, crush Clarkson's corresponding My December in sales that year.

Without that video — a cover of British pop-punk band Busted, whose original lyrics envisioned a future full of triple-breasted women, instead of cute space girls with Star Wars buns — we might never have met The Jonas Brothers. Their debut album It's About Time had middled out on Columbia (it would later become a fan favorite), while they spent a couple years opening for their teen idol forbearers: Jesse McCartney, the Backstreet Boys, Jump5 and The Cheetah Girls. It was only after "Year 3000" went "viral" (in the way things did in 2007, conducted via hallway chatter and YouTube-binging sleepovers, alongside clips like "Salad Fingers," Shoes" and "Charlie Bit Me") that Disney realized Nick, Joe and Kevin, with their unthreatening good looks, nuclear New Jersey normalness, and formidable skills with guitars and microphones, were the perfect raw material for their cottage industry of boys and girls next door.

They released their breakout second album The Jonas Brothers on Disney's label, Hollywood Records later that year. Quickly, they saturated the Disney multiverse and the lives of early-to-mid 2000's suburban youth. They made a guest appearance on Hannah Montana that broke cable records. Their songs could be heard in Aquamarine, Zoey 101, on Cartoon Network's Friday program, and leaking out of iPod minis, mall speakers, high school gyms and 100,000-seat stadiums. The Camp Rock series, entanglements with other famous teenagers, various concert films and their sitcom, Jonas, followed.

Nostalgia is an inescapable fog hanging around Nick, Joe and Kevin, as the world watches them tease each other on TV hosts' couches and jump around in matching suits again, for the first time in six years. It's not just about them. That bedazzled, low-rise moment is on everyone's minds. An avalanche of blog posts about their reunion begin with some iteration of the pseudo-incredulous question: "Avril Lavigne, JoJo and Ashley Tisdale are dropping albums, Amanda Bynes is back, Lindsay Lohan is making TV and The Jonas Brothers are getting back together. Is it 2019 or 2009?" PAPER recently debuted a column, called "This Week In 2009," to feed our appetite for photos of Rihanna with a momager haircut, andSpencer Pratt and Heidi Montag making out in surgical masks during the swine flu panic. The Jonas Brothers have already made it into several installments. The guys confirm they did not engineer their reunion to sync up with our cultural nostalgia cycle, but due to it, talking about the good old days will be an extra compulsory aspect of their press tour. At 26, 29 and 31, The Jonas Brothers aren't unwilling, but a bit ambivalent about rehashing their adolescence.

"We're not really defined by those years," Nick claims, when I ask the trio about how they look back on the fever pitch of the JoBro craze. But when I nudge, he admits the period was undeniably influential. "We had a lot of fun... you know, it was sort of a rocket ship to the moon during that time. When Disney played our video for 'Year 3000,' everything changed. It all started to happen when Disney got on board. Our years doing Camp Rock and TV shows were really formative."

It's not that The Jonas Brothers are at odds with their origin story. They'll soon release a glossy Amazon documentary reliving it, and this past weekend, gave a euphoric rendition of their 2008 hit "Burnin' Up" at their first SNL performance in a decade. But they've previously indicated otherwise. "I don't feel as frustrated now as I did then," Joe says of a candid as-told-to essay he gave New York Magazine in 2013, a few months after the band's break-up. He wrote then, "Being a part of the Disney thing for so long will make you not want to be this perfect little puppet forever." He detailed an authoritarian, image-obsessed company culture (recalling that High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens was put on lockdown in the Disney offices after her nude photos were leaked), and how the band became stifled under Disney's tutelage, forced to maintain an increasingly awkward and false teen marketability as they grew eager to sing about more complex topics than crushes and homework. Joe and Kevin were required to shave every day, and allusions to anything sexier than a kiss or darker than a minor bummer were "sugar-coated." The essay is emotional, but not scornful, simply trying to make people understand the many factors that led up to 2013, when The Jonas Brothers cancelled their tour, scrapped their fifth album, and stopped being a band.   

Joe doesn't walk back anything he wrote. But with the anxiety he faced back then as a newly unemployed solo act now largely evaporated, he speaks to the same topics with adult, big picture complexity. "We were having to censor ourselves, I think any artist could relate. That's not fun. We were at a standstill with our TV show and the movies. We were young adults, having to pretend like we're young teenagers," he reiterates, but explains that to be frustrated with the company was "such a weird mindset to get into, because we have Disney to thank for so much, they got us started in our career."

Nick bristles at the cartoonish idea that he and his brothers were victims of Big Bad Disney, or anything besides mutual investors in their image and success. "Before this becomes an indictment of Disney and Disney culture, I think it's important to say that, though we felt limited at times, bottom line, Disney was really good for us; really good training wheels for anybody that wants to become a musician or entertainer, as far as work ethic and all the rest. There was a balance to it all, and we could have had it a lot worse." They seem acutely aware there was no cost to their relationship with Disney more valuable than what they gained: "[Those years] are a major part of our story and a big way that our fans connect with us and continue to today." If it were the case that the world couldn't move on from their childhood, Nick says, "It might be tougher to accept... But we have to continue to make new statements and push ourselves to create who we are, every day."

"We were young adults, having to pretend like we're young teenagers." — Joe Jonas

Why would they be inclined to dwell on the past? Since their break-up — when Nick was 21, Joe was 24 and Kevin was 26 — each Jonas has transitioned into an entirely new life. Following his Married To Jonasreality TV show, Kevin retreated into his family and pursued real estate development, satisfied to spend his days as a non-famous. Joe and Nick each rebelled, a little. Joe, "the bad boy," experimented with the archetype he'd been cast in as a teen by dating famous models and growing a beard. Seeming to find the role ill-fitting, he then opted to become the frontman of fun dance-pop band DNCE, of "Cake By The Ocean" fame. Baby Nick tripled in girth, made a vulnerable, sexy R&B record, landed a few underwear billboards, and emerged as a Hollywood heartthrob following his effective performance in blockbuster Jumanji. As you might have heard, the latter two have also recently gotten married, attaching themselves to famous and successful women who, aside from appearing to make them genuinely very happy, also brought them back into the fold of A-list celebrity even before the reunion was announced.

Instead of reminiscing about the highs and lows of their days sketching Mickey Mouse's ears with a CGI wand or picking at scabbed-over angst at the behest of a pesky writer, The Jonas Brothers would rather talk about all the good things in their lives, now. For instance, how sublime it feels to be The Jonas Brothers, again.

"It's been incredible, being back together after the longest time apart and spending this amount of time together in the studio, not to mention actually announcing this stuff and the response to the music," gushes Kevin. "It's been so overwhelming and so exciting. It means so much to us to be able to do this again as brothers. It's just beyond..." The words "incredible," "exciting," "amazing," "overwhelming," as well as "crazy" and "surreal" are repeated over and over in our conversation, as they describe getting to know each other as brothers and musicians again. "It had been four or five years since we spent any time by ourselves, you know, just hanging out."

Today, The Jonas Brothers are poised to become a bigger force in music than they ever were in their Disney days. They've achieved this — despite re-entering a radically different pop landscape than the one they departed, now ruled by rappers making country, bearded scumbros making rap, and teen girls making ASMR — by doing exactly what first made them a sensation: clean, universal, good vibes pop songs.

"We take what we do seriously, but we don't take ourselves seriously." — Nick Jonas

Both of their new singles, "Cool" and "Sucker," radiate an unforced joy and playful confidence that seems to be the defining quality of The Jonas Brothers' second coming. "It's all about having fun," says Nick. "We take what we do seriously, but we don't take ourselves seriously."

The sound of The Jonas Brothers not taking themselves seriously is so pleasant that "Sucker" — a carbonated love song that sounds the way Pop Rocks fizzling on your tongue feel — has become their first ever No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It doesn't sound like old Jonas Brothers, but it also doesn't sound like much else in pop right now. With the help of OneRepublic frontman, songwriter and producer Ryan Tedder (as well as popcraft overlords Max Martin, Greg Kurstin and Justin Tranter), The Jonas Brothers have shed their pop-punk-curious crunch and Disney sing-along sugar, while staying faithful to the drums-and-guitar roots and tactile storytelling that made a generation fall in love with them. The effect is a flavor of blissed out pure pop, that both sounds both refreshing next to today's deluge of morbid pop cyborgs and comfortingly familiar.

"We had a real sense that it was important for us to stay authentic to who we are," Nick explains when I ask how they resisted the urge to abandon their rockist roots for pop's current greener, genre-scrambled pastures. "When you go back and and listen to Jonas Brothers records, they're written and produced as rock and roll records." However, he says "that doesn't mean that we can't try out other sounds, or go on a journey to get there," and promises there's at least one trap beat and one yeehaw moment on Happiness Begins.

Despite the above, let's be honest: a No. 1 Jonas Brothers single in 2019 doesn't make complete sense (a glitch in the simulation, as they say). The Jonas Brothers belong in the past: in the childhoods of a generation now in their mid-twenties, and in a normcore, suburban fantasy that feels like it should have lost its appeal in our increasingly conscious times.

Plus, boy bands don't often get number ones. The last time one accomplished the feat was in 2003, when B2K's P. Diddy-assisted "Bump, Bump, Bump" hit number one (overtaking Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River), according to Billboard. Even unfathomably famous ones: One Direction's highest entry on the Hot 100, 2013's "Best Song Ever," peaked at No. 2, lagging behind "Blurred Lines." Their own hits, 2008's "Burnin' Up," "Tonight" and "A Little Bit Longer," never made it past No. 5 during the reign of Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" and Rihanna's "Disturbia." Their new trophy signals the JoBros have begun to transcend the silos of a traditional boy band audience, and thus, our general disdain for the culture young women tend to love.

So how did they do it?

There's a strong cinematic mythos to The Jonas Brothers' reunion story, which, indeed, will be soon available to stream. It went like this: Nick, the architect of the reunion, had started occasionally slipping JoBros songs into his solo sets and realized he was craving their brotherly magic. As they began spending time together on the set of their documentary, the seed in Nick's brain broke ground, and became an explicit conversation. Then, there was the spontaneous jam session of "Love Bug" in Cuba that reminded them of the magic of playing together. Then came the "intervention," when Kevin and Nick flew to Australia where Joe was hosting The Voice to address the baggage left over from their last run as a band, which they'd realized would be a prerequisite for a successful reunion. They did so with a series of conversations that Kevin describes as "the kind probably only brothers can have without wanting to throw a table at each other" ("they're in the doc, and they're heavy," he promises). During these talks, they decided that this time around, it would be all about having fun. Kevin adds: "The choice to do this wasn't out of need, it was more, 'This is something we really want to do together.'"

The Jonas Brothers' break-up went like this: the flame was Nick's solo ambitions. The gasoline was burn-out, the colliding egos of a band with two frontmen, diverging tastes (evident in the forked road of DNCE and Nick Jonas), and general paralysis. "We lost touch with what we wanted to say, because we were trying so hard to say something different from what we said in the past, musically and creatively," Nick explains. Plus, instead of becoming deluded by their preternatural fame, it had given them imposter syndrome and anxiety. "We understood that our level of success and fame had reached a point, where our musicianship and writing and performing abilities needed time to grow and catch up to it."

When I ask what kept them humble enough to realize this, Nick admits: "I think it was a combination of humility, and just being scared that it was all going to disappear." He references what he recalls as a Coldplay soundbite, that helped them through that choice: "I don't want to misquote, so you might want to fact check, but something about the fact that, they had become too big, you know, for their level of musicianship, so they worked harder than ever and went even deeper creatively. We really related to that." I'm unable to confirm the words belong to any member of Coldplay, but wherever The Jonas Brothers came across it, it must have been a comfort to know they were navigating charted rockstar waters.

Listening to the brothers reflect, it seems that the pyre underneath The Jonas Brothers' flame-out was simply the reality that Nick, Joe and Kevin are genuinely skilled, creative musicians, who were always going to clash with their cramped confines. Maybe the demises of commercial boy bands aren't a product of personal dysfunction at all, but rather, of their artistic health — evidence that they're composed of living, breathing human beings, rather than attractive androids positioned in the right spots on a music video set. If a group of kids in The Jonas Brothers' position forge ahead cheerfully into the complex chaos of their twenties without craving autonomy from each other or Disney's iron fist, someone should probably check under their curls for lobotomy scars.

"I think it was a combination of humility, and just being scared that it was all going to disappear." — Nick Jonas

"It really took the last six, seven years to figure out who we were as people and what kind of music we wanted to make." Nick says. He mentions tactfully that "a lot of young performers find this transition into adulthood really challenging," and implies pushing the bounds of their wholesome, juvenile aesthetic while still operating as The Jonas Brothers might not have been pretty: "If we had continued to try to push things forward the way we were operating, it might have been difficult. Perhaps we would have had to make bolder statements... shocked people into understanding who we are. I think the world is more accepting of us as adults than they would have been if we insisted, 'This is who we are now, accept us.'"

If they hadn't abandoned their spot at the top, and taken the time to grow up and chill out, avoiding many of the more excruciating personal and professional pitfalls of young pop stardom, The Jonas Brothers might have found themselves somewhat tragic figures in 2019, doomed to a career mired in nostalgia. Instead Nick, Kevin and Joe are having the time of their lives on their prodigal pop homecoming. I doubt they'd have this moment if they'd staged their return, however, by attempting to make the world see them as more than "just a boy band." With no ambitions beyond "trying to bottle happiness" and bringing "positive vibes to the world," as Nick explains of the album title inspiration, The Jonas Brothers, against the odds, have plucked themselves out of our "Week in 2009" column and earned a place in the living, breathing cultural fabric of 2019.

Maybe the key is simply prioritizing what's always been at the core of The Jonas Brothers: the fans — their palates and desires, giving them new lyrics to tattoo on their ankles, Easter eggs to mine for the details of their lives, and concerts to scream at with their friends.

"The reunion... felt like getting my best friend back after a long time," one fan, whose handle is @jonasbr0, says on Twitter. Another, whose display handle reads "Kat LOVES the Jonas Brothers," claims "I'm the most excited that anyone has ever been about anything," revealing "When I graduated high school I decorated my cap to say "I'd rather be at a Jonas Brothers concert." "Their music has brought some of my best friends into my life. We've all grown up together with the boys" says @taylaxo, whose pinned Tweet is a photo of herself in a sweatshirt printed with a Tweet from Joe announcing the reunion.

Nick muses, "The best part of this go around, is the fact that those fans have lived with our records for so many years that they're part of their lives, and they're really meaningful to them. We can feel that energy. All those years of fearing it was going to disappear are now kind of..." he trails off. 

Source: PAPER Magazine

[readbyir]

An essay on a refreshing take of Twelfth Night

“If music be the food of love, play on.” Twelfth Night is one of Shakespeare’s most performed plays, and in my opinion, one of my favorites. Viola’s journey of identity has been an object of my fascination since I stumbled upon her “I left no ring with her” monologue in high school. I have now seen Twelfth Night two times; the first time was at a community theatre and the second time was at a professional theatre. The professional production that I saw was at The Old Globe in November 2019. Directed by Jesse Perez, Twelfth Night used all of the MFA Acting students currently enrolled in the Shiley Graduate Theatre Program between the University of San Diego and The Old Globe. Having worked with most of them during their summer repertory season, I was thrilled to see them take on another reimagination of Shakespeare. This production took place in the intimate space of the Shirley and Harvey White Theatre. This theatre-in-the-round space allowed for Perez and his designers to suspend the audience’s disbelief with their fun ideas of design and staging. Perez conceptualized this telling of the story to be done through a band of actors in their own rehearsal hall with scripts, fighting mats, and rehearsal furniture strewn across the floor. Perez swapped genders, incorporated music and dance, and used farcical moments to fully explore Shakespeare’s humor and relationships in this text. Overall, Perez’s meta concept encouraged the unification of a strong ensemble that wants the audience to experiment with the love and gender fluidity that has always existed in Shakespeare’s plays.

While we usually see “As above, so below” metaphors expressed through two-levelled sets, Robin Roberts designed a single level set with two ramps that lead offstage. Perez’s concept insisted that the playing space was actually where an acting troupe comes to rehearse when they are not performing. Two signs labeled “TO STAGE” hung above the ramps and onstage drawers were stuffed with props and costumes. Malvolio, Sebastian, and subordinate characters had many opportunities to enter from the house for their entrances to the story. Perez crafted his departure point with the entire ensemble portraying themselves as actors. It was when Claire Simba stood on top of a table and proclaimed her first lines through a large microphone that her fellow actors agreed to put on a production of Twelfth Night. Instantaneously, hip-hop music and colorful lights flashed onstage as the ensemble danced and began their rehearsal process of Twelfth Night. 

Perez explored two different journeys of love between Antonio and Sebastian and Orsino and Viola. Perez fully embraced Antonio’s assertion of his adoration and love for Sebastian in the script. Jonathan Wilson, who portrayed Antonio, followed Ramon Burris, who portrayed Sebastian, down onto the stage to make sure his beloved friend had a safe journey. Perez explored the act of Burris closing the distance between himself and Wilson. Antonio’s vulnerability about his emotions towards Sebastian was met with Sebastian’s vulnerability about losing a sister. Burris and Wilson stood inches apart until Burris had to bid his farewell due to his mournful state. Claire Simba portrayed Orsino, an Illyrian nobleman. Gender-bending is not new when it comes to Shakespeare. For two black women to play the romantic leads, however, is not commonly practiced in live performances unless it is prescribed in a play that centralizes itself on the black experience. Perez directed the audience’s focus onto a female Orsino that falls in love with a female Viola. Simba did not talk in a forced lower-register or dress in breeches; she was still a woman in the larger-than-life role of Orsino.This viewed Shakespeare’s primary relationship through a LGBTQ+ lens. 

Music and dance was a large part of this production as well. As already stated, the ensemble broke out into a dance in the beginning of the play. The music was of the modern hip-hop genre, creating a contemporary feel to Perez’s concept. The choreography was fast-paced, fun, grounded, and complicated. A couple of the actors seemed to struggle with keeping up with the choreography, but still showed how much of a blast they had with it. Perez used Feste to continue this light-hearted musical feeling after the production’s colorful departure point. Summer Broyhill portrayed Feste with her acoustic guitar and goofy mannerisms. Using her experience as Amiens in As You Like It, Broyhill composed her own music for the show. In her moments of playing guitar and entertaining others, Broyhill, as Feste, was also experimenting with how others would react to her acoustic folk music. When Christopher Cruz (Sir Toby) and Mason Conrad (Sir Andrew) offered their approval of her music, Broyhill was elated and gracious. Her spirit of musicality built and spread towards two other partners onstage, turning a simple moment of entertainment into a full-blown acapella trio serenading Sir Toby. Broyhill also composed this acapella piece. 

Perez’s use of farce in Malvolio’s letter scene bent the audience’s expectation of what it means to hide in plain sight. Using palm leaves, Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian danced and dashed across all corners of the stage to stay hidden from Malvolio. The rule that Perez and his actors structured assured that anytime an actor holds up a leaf, they are hidden from Malvolio. They bend this rule by adding a couple more ensemble members to relevé and perform traditional ballet leaps while holding their leaves as Malvolio read his letter aloud.

  I found that Perez’s exploration of LGBTQ+ relationships and gender-roles to be extremely effective within his concept. Standing in a “fuck or fight” proximity from each other, Antonio and Sebastian added a complex layer of their potentially homosexual relationship. We know Sebastian ends up with Olivia at the end, but the implication of him meeting Antonio in the middle with his emotions demands the audience to perk up and hang onto this given circumstance throughout the rest of their limited times together onstage. In the text, we do not get a lot of information on Sebastian’s whereabouts. Perez made Sebastian’s moments onstage matter to the audience by showing how his inner-turmoil from losing a sister can project onto other relationships, romantic or otherwise. Even if Perez did not choose to argue for Sebastian to be bisexual, he still built tension between two men that represented more than just a dichotomous power balance; it begged for a reconsideration of masculinity. The power dynamic between the two men did not feel as if a servant was being dismissed by a superior figure. It was a tender and truthful moment where Sebastian let his walls down to another man. I saw two men being completely honest about the things that weigh most on their heart. In the spirit of Perez’s experimental concept; I got to ask myself what I thought Sebastian would do if he were not mourning for Viola. Solely because of how Perez set up their relationship, I would accept the argument that Sebastian should end up with Antonio if he had not paired up with Olivia at the end. Additionally, I was able to reflect on how little we see masculinity portrayed like this onstage. 

Orsino and Viola’s relationship intersected the exposure of LGBTQ+ and black relationships onstage. Orsino’s identity was not played out as a breeches role. Simba is a woman who was expressed as a woman onstage. Because Orsino was originally a male, the audience was able to recognize the elements and mannerisms that made Simba passable as Orsino. As discussed in Sebastian and Antonio’s relationship, the audience’s focus was also drawn to the idea of what makes a character masculine or feminine. Simba was confident, smooth, and humorous just like the character Shakespeare wrote. She demanded respect and power through her struts and table-climbing. She still had a masculine air to her because of her raspy and lower voice. Bibi Mama’s portrayal of Viola was special because of how she portrayed femininity. Mama is a fitness trainer, which showed onstage. She was strong, coordinated, and grounded. Her alto register paired well with Simba’s raspy voice. She did not make much change between her identity as Viola versus fake-Sebastian because of the minimalistic costume design. If I was not paying close enough attention to the language, I would have missed the fact that Mama was switching between female and male onstage. To throw on a blazer was not the strongest indication to an audience member that Mama has changed her identity, especially with her muscular build. To broaden the perspective of Perez’s choice of casting, I believe a color conscious choice was made to reach across San Diego’s predominantly white theatre patron base. Perez made a speech at the opening night party stating that it was time that people agree that Orsino can, in fact, be a black woman. Putting this idea onto a stage that is dressed to look like a rehearsal hall truly serves Perez’s purpose in challenging the conventions an audience projects onto Shakespeare and other works of theatre. He framed it as actors onstage that are simply workshopping new ideas and testing out what works and what doesn’t work. I have heard stories of Old Globe patrons expressing how much they miss “traditional Shakespeare” while mistakenly assigning its likeness to an older production that was actually conceptualized as the Napoleonic Era. It seems that Perez knows the Old Globe’s audience very well and did not waste his opportunity to make this show matter on a global scale. At the time of writing this essay, The Public Theatre just wrapped their production of Measure for Measure with an all black and female cast. Black women taking the lead in Shakespeare is a choice that theatres want their audiences to see and get used to. Perez does not turn away from issue in the slightest and brings the Old Globe into the larger conversation. 

Perez’s use of music and farce elevated Shakespeare’s text. His concept broke through the fourth wall in the act of Broyhill performing as Feste. Just like Feste aimed to entertain and please through music, Broyhill might have hoped that her fellow actors and audience members enjoyed her folk guitar compositions. It added to Feste’s likability as a performing artist rather than a “clown.” Perez’s outrageously funny comedic moments, such as the letter scene, suspended the audience’s disbelief on how to accept staged conventions. Marco Antonio Vega’s portrayal of Malvolio achieved empathy from the audience because of how much we were laughing at the deception that was devised against him. 

Perez made the story of Twelfth Night bigger than what we may have originally perceived to be. He gave his actors a platform to truly play and explore the humanity of their characters by gifting them a world where anything can happen: the rehearsal room. What if Sebastian loved Antonio back? What if Orsino was a woman? How many rules can we make for the audience and then break them? What is and is not allowed to be done with Shakespeare? These are the questions actors and directors ask in the rehearsal room and determine themselves. Perez included his audience to answer that question. He gave us an authentic presentation of what theatre is by keeping this world in its “exploration stage.” This let the community bear witness to what makes our theatre artists today so devoted to their art. As an MFA class, the actors portrayed the future of theatre for all to see.