#but I'm feeling le Stressed (tm) right now and this is how I deal

[kurowrites]

Arranged marriage prompt no.2 with wangxian if you're accepting prompts please!

Royalty AU - To end a war

I don’t really have the time or the energy to actually make this a cohesive narration, so let’s do this in bullet points.

Let’s make this canon slightly to the left - WWX has installed himself as Yiling Laozu at the Burial Mounds, but due to ~handwavy reason~, he actually manages to defend himself against any intruders, and the rest of the cultivation world realises that 1. this guy is even more of a threat than they had imagined and 2. they can’t get rid of him (or the remaining Wen, for that matter).

After much deliberation and more than a little shouting, they come to the conclusion that some kind of solution needs to be found. They can’t take the Yiling Laozu down, but they also can’t let him do whatever he pleases considering that he is actively dangerous.

What do you do when you’re out of options? You propose a deal.

They carefully approach WWX and are like... we are willing to do some things, provided we get other stuff in return. Like you sealing your own demonic cultivation. Or something like that. Idk, I’m tired.

WWX is probably equally tired, because honestly, if he can get guaranteed protection ot the Wen, that’s good for him. And so he bargains with whoever the sects send to him. It doesn’t work well, because neither really trusts the other side.

WWX, feeling a headache coming on: “I want Lan Zhan.”

What he MEANT was 1. He wanted to talk to Lan Zhan, because Lan Zhan is a rational person. And maybe also 2. He wants Lan Zhan as a security, because absolutely no one wants to harm Lan Zhan. Right?

What the negotiation committee hears, though, is “I want Lan Zhan as a human sacrifice.” He’s the Yiling Laozu, right? So he wants something nefarious, obviously. So if WWX wants LWJ, they can’t say no, but they also can’t let WWX kill LWJ. How else to bind a person to yourself other than marriage? So marriage it is. Perfect, problem solved! They’re like... sure, let’s do this, we’ll be back soon.

WWX, hungry and suffering from lack of sleep: Well, that was easy.

Soon, they return with LWJ and a whole delegation of cultivators in tow. LWJ is, for some reason, in wedding clothes. And before WWX really gets it, they’re being married.

WWX, after everything is over: Well, this is awkward. I was just trying to get you here to talk to me.

LWJ, turning his saddest puppy eyes on WWX: Are you unhappy with me as your husband?

WWX, quietly: ....what the fuck

And so he takes LWJ back to burial mounds, as his husband. He feels bad for LWJ, but he’s mostly concerned with making sure that the Wens are doing well and the conditions of this treaty are obeyed.

He had imagined that they would be left alone now that everything is over, but the problem is that everyone knows that LWJ is at Burial Mounds. And suddenly you have Lan disciples popping up in the hostile wilderness of BM, first frightened and shy, yet still willing to brave this environment to make sure their Hanguang-jun is well.

And after LWJ obviously keeps WWX from frightening the first ones away, visits become pretty usual. Disciples visit LWJ, and they bring stuff with them that they think he might need.

It’s a lot of stuff that suddenly starts collecting.

WWX: ,,,is this a pilgrimage site or what

It is a pilgrimage site.

Suddenly, Burial Mounds starts to look better and better, because the Lan disciples help with things around the BM every time they visit. And they’re really good at dealing with the resentful energy of the place.

At some point, WWX realises that he lives in married, agricultural bliss with a child and an entire village of chosen relatives while being feared by the common people as an evil overlord.

It’s fine, he thinks as LWJ picks out lotus seeds and feeds them to him.

He’s fine with being the bogeyman as long as he gets to keep this.