#but I’m scared that I’m secretly betraying my fellow women everywhere

[enigma-im]

Like a Virgin

Rating: Mature Relationship: Incubus x Female!human Warning: betraying of trust, broken friendship, incubus are cum brains, comfort, fluff, no sex

Word Count: 7797

                             Can an Incubus and a virgin be friends?

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"Tatiana, or Tina. I know it starts with a T. Either way she was crazy, even for my standards! I couldn’t bring myself to say no to her though, her energy was intoxicating," Silas rants. I pay attention for the most part but he caught me in the middle of something. He just kind of started talking. Honestly, I don’t mind his stories, they are funny or interesting most of the time. I secretly think I'm the only one he talks to about this cause I'm the only one who listens. Add comments here and there. Everyone else is too busy trying to get his attention just to get an excuse to look at him.

"Your appetite is going to get you into trouble if you find yourself struggling to say no," I pass him a sly grin. Out the corner of my eye, I see him rest his crossed arms on the table. I feel him staring at me, probably thinking of some stupid joke. I fiddle with my tablet as I finish my document.

"What about you, I can't be the only one having weird sexual adventures. Even someone as quiet as you must have some really kinky shit to tell," Silas rest his head against the table. Just in the corner of my vision. I ignore him for a second as I write my last sentence.

I look over at him," what's that?"

"What's the weirdest sexual encounter you have had," he repeats. I cock an eyebrow, eyeing him for a second.

I turn back to my tablet," I've never had sex." I don’t notice him recoil from me. I open up my email and send over the file to another coworker. Once I finish I turn off my tablet and give Silas my full attention. He looks shocked. His mouth is slightly open and his eyes wide.

"what," I ask.

"You never had sex," he tilts his head. His eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Nope, never have," I shrug. It's not a big deal, I know if I really wanted to then I can find some stranger. Still, that has never been alluring. I would rather be in a committed relationship before I do anything like that.

"How old are you, aren't you like 24? How can anyone live that long and not at some point had sex," he asks.

"I just haven't, it isn't a big deal," I begin to get embarrassed. When I was a teenager I thought about sex often. As I got older it has lost its appeal. I never dated in college because I was busy with work or school. Then finding a job I didn’t really bother with dating. After 21 I just didn’t care anymore.

Silas doesn’t share my sentiment.

"Is it a religious thing? Are you waiting till marriage or..," he sits down next to me," like you are pretty, I can't imagine you haven't had offers. Then its got to be a personal choice. So spill it, what's up." I begin to fold into myself, his questions making me nervous.

"I just haven't. there haven’t been any situations where I've had the choice. Not that I've put myself into those situations either way. So let's just drop it," I cross my arms and turn away from him. He grabs my chair and turns me back to face him. His face is serious, I've never seen him serious before.

"Are you interested in it? Are you asexual," he keeps questioning. Wanting to get away from his scrutiny I get up, knocking his arm from the chair. I walk around the seat, keeping it between us. "its ok if you are, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this," he tries to clarify.

"I rather not talk about this, if you don’t mind. My break is over so I'm going to go back to my office now," I try to be calm. I'm not going to hold this against him. He is an incubus, so I understand his interest in the topic. It doesn’t mean I have to answer him.

He drops it," alright, sorry. Didn’t mean to pry. Have a nice day, Chloe." with that we part ways.

I don’t see him again till the next day. What a weird day that was too.

"Hey, Chloe," someone stops me in the hall.

"Hey," I look the man over. He is a tall lanky fellow, short black hair and glasses. I remember seeing him around but his name evades me. I think it starts with an R.

"So I heard you are into local bands. You mentioned visiting Ricardo's on Saturdays. I was thinking, my brother's band is playing this weekend and I was curious if you would like to come see him," he asks. The entire time he is talking I'm trying to think of his names. Robert, Richie, Rhett? It takes a second for me to realize he asked a question.

"Oh, this Saturday? I'm going to visit my mother, my cousins are coming in for the weekend so I wanted to stop by and say hi," I answer honestly. I'm curious about his brother's band though. It's nice of him to promote his sibling like this.

He drops his shoulders," right, maybe another weekend then?"

"Yea, just let me know when he plays again. I'll stop by and check him out," I smiled curtly," but I really got to go, see you around?"

"Yea, sure. Later, Chloe," he waves. He looks a little dejected but I can't find myself to care.

The day gets a little weirder when I'm visited by another coworker.

"Chloe, working hard as usual," I look over my desk to Derek. He is a short stout fellow with brown hair. Derek is a funny guy but I found his personality to be too overpowering.

"Of course, hard work promotes better values," I curtly smile. I believe that is the end of the conversation until he steps closer to my desk. He rests his elbows on it, leaning beside me.

"Working hard all the time, when do you ever take a break. Perhaps we can grab lunch later? Get out of the building. I know a nice little pizza joint down the way," he offers.

"No thanks, I'm lactose intolerant so pizza doesn’t agree with me. Also, pizza without cheese is an awful idea. I may not be able to eat it much anymore but I know cheese makes a pizza," I try to joke. I know Derek is being friendly like usual but I can't bring myself to tolerate him today.

"Then how about the Chinese place on by the bank, they ha-,"

"Derek, stop bothering Chloe and get your ass back here," someone calls from out the door. Derek jerks his head over, glaring at the woman down the hall.

He turns back to me with a grin," Guess I have to pester you for a date later, till next time." with that he gets up and leaves. I watch him go with a confused look.

"He was asking me out?"

The time till lunch is filled with men, and a few women, coming up to me. For the most part, I think they were all asking me out. Some stumbled over their words so I didn’t understand. The ones I do know for sure I politely decline. I don’t wanna date, especially not someone from work. Most of them take it nicely, a small few are rude. Like Jose.

"Why not," Jose glares," it will be fun."

"I'm just not in the market for a boyfriend right now," I try to inch around him so I can head to the cafeteria. He slams his palm into the wall beside me.

"Not in the market? Silas told me otherwise," he leans in with a smirk.

"Silas told you," I stare confused. Pushing myself into the wall to get away.

"Yea, he said you were interested. Mentioned you would be an easy thing too," he tries to lean in closer. I dart underneath his arm, not bothering with him anymore. "Hey, we aren't done," he calls down the hall. I stop and glare at him over my shoulder.

"You ever talk to me again, I'm calling HR," I sneer. He rolls his eyes but walks off.

That dick! Not Jose, but Silas. What he doing telling everyone I'm interested? Telling people I'm an easy lay or something.

I change my course from the lunchroom to Silas' office. I stomp up the step, clenching my tablet in a tight grip. I slam open the door and march inside. I find him sitting in his chair, bent over his desk writing. When the door bangs against the wall he looks up. He starts with a smile but drops it when he sees my glare.

I slam my hands on his desk," Don’t you ever butt in my love life again. If I find out you are telling people that I'm 'easy' again I will cut your damn balls off. Do you understand me?" he sits back in his chair a little worried. Perhaps a little scared. My words take a second to sink in for him. Once they do he sits up.

"I never told anyone you were 'easy'. I said you they should try asking you out. Who said you were easy," he furrows his brow.

I slam my hands on the desk again," You shouldn’t be telling anyone anything about my interest. I never asked for your help, I never wanted your help. I've been asked out all day and you know damn well I don’t want that kind of attention."

He stands," What do you mean you don’t want that attention? You need that kind of attention. It isn't healthy to sit alone all day every day in your apartment. I want you to be happy, and I think this will do that. Excuse me for trying to be a good friend." I glare up at him, he glares back.

"If this is your idea of being a good friend then I rather you weren't," I sneer.

"What are you saying," he crosses his arms.

"I don’t want to be your friend. Friends I want around are ones who respect my privacy, not someone who makes people treat me like a thanksgiving meal. If I don’t want a relationship that is my fucking choice, Silas. Don’t talk to me or talk to anyone else about me. We are done," I push away from his desk. Moving it a little in the process. Then before he can say a word I stomp out his office. Running the conversation through my head till I'm gritting my teeth.

Who does he think he is telling people to proposition me. Does everyone in the office know I'm a virgin now? Everyone is going to look at me like a challenge. See who can get into my pants first. Fucking pigs. Silas the piece of shit.

The entire day is ruined until I get home. I put on some PJs and watch my favorite show. I don’t need Silas, the asshole. If I wanted help I would have asked him.

The rest of the week I avoid Silas. Which is harder than I thought. He seems to be everywhere I go. I head to the copying room, he is in there. I walk down for lunch, he is there. I go to a coworkers desk and he is talking with them. I can't tell if he is doing it on purpose or it’s a coincidence. Hardly matters, ill just sit in my office like a hermit.

Friday, just before quitting time I get a visitor. There is a knock on my door. I look up and my polite smile drops.

I look back down at my work," get out."

"I was going to ask if you are done throwing your tantrum but I see you aren't," Silas says walking in the room. I try my hardest not to look up. If I have to act like a child for him to leave then I will. I hear a chair squeak against the tile floor. I accidentally glanced up at him. He is sitting with his arms folded over his broad chest. He is staring straight at me, waiting for me to answer. I won't.

"Come on, do you want me to apologize? I don’t know what I did wrong but ill say sorry anyway. I'll be the bigger person here, I'm sorry Chloe. Is that better," he asks. I barely notice my grip tightening on the pen till my paper rips. The pen digging too hard into the page.

"You honestly don’t know what you did wrong," I grit my teeth," you selfish dick head." I glare up at him. He doesn’t seem phased. Knowing him he probably never been in a fight with a woman. Use to them falling at his feet because of his sexual prowess. Ain't going to work here.

"I tried to do something nice for you and you ignore me like a child. So excuse me for being a little confused," he snaps.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You have everyone in the office looking at me like I'm some kind of challenge. I get asked every day by people to go out with them to bars. Knowing they are only hoping to get in my pants. Trying to get me wasted enough to sleep with them so they can come here and brag they got me first. I never asked for your help. If I wanted to get laid I would have done it by now," I cross my arms. Glaring over at him, daring him to downplay my feelings on this.

"If you could have gotten laid then why haven't you done it. I've been trying to wrap my brain around this all week. You are an attractive young woman and you have never gone out to get someone. I know you are interested in it, you listen to my stories with such open wonder. I thought for the longest time you have, you hold your own in a conversation about it so well. Why are you a virgin," he asks. I don’t need to answer him. I don’t have to justify my choices. Yet, I feel like I do.

"Because I never found the one. I don’t trust anyone enough to not hurt me after. Most of the guys I might have had sex with I knew they would either leave before I woke the next day or brag about it to friends. I was always the pretty one, nothing more. Hell I know I got my job because I was attractive. I don’t want a one night stand or a simple night of pleasure. I want a relationship, I want to trust them not to leave me once they had their fill. I'm not just a body to be used, I'm a person," I finally answer. It's true, I haven't trusted anyone. Everyone makes sex into a simple thing. Just shared pleasure that doesn’t have to mean anything. But to me it does, I want the connection. To please someone while they want to please me.

He sits there for a second. Eyeing me as he thinks.

"What makes you think that those people aren't in it for a serious thing? Who has made you believe that people are just there to use you," he asks calmer.

"Because you talk about doing that every day," I scowl," answer me honestly. Have you ever stayed the night at one of your partner's home? Made them breakfast the next morning as thanks for the night before." he tries to glare at me but I know the truth. I may not trust people to fuck me but he doesn’t trust people to want him after. I've known Silas for almost a year and this is a fact I gathered early on. No one wants a relationship with an Incubus. They are known for being unfaithful so why risk it?

"No," he drops his head, " I'm sorry Chloe." this is more sincere. I wasn’t ready for that. I know our relationship isn't much. We are friends because of the circumstances. If we didn’t work together then we would have never even spoken to each other. I never expected him to actually apologize.

"thank you," I mumble. He lifts his head and looks at me through his lashes.

"Are we still friends," he asks. It comes out soft, to my surprise. I think about it. I don’t think I can trust him after this. The little faith I had in him was gone once he told everyone I needed to be fucked.

"No," I answer. I find I can't look him in the eye when I said it. I do notice his shoulders dropping.

Without another word he stands, nods, then leaves. After that, I don’t see him as much.

The weekend comes and goes. I get to see my cousins and forget about the situation for a while. The week goes smoothly. I don’t see Silas at all that week. Come to hear it, most people haven't seen him. He comes into work and doesn’t socialize like he used to. I want to feel responsible for that but I know it isn't me. We weren't that close. He is a social butterfly, talks to everyone. I was just the only one who didn’t actively flirt with him. I listened to what he had to say, I was polite.

After about two weeks I forget about him. I don’t worry about his whereabouts or comings and goings. Some coworkers still try to get me to date them but more are asking me about Silas. I don’t care.

Its Saturday and I'm sitting on my couch. I flip through Netflix for anything new to watch. Shoving handfuls of chips into my mouth. The oil getting on the remote as well as my pants.

There is a knock at the door. I jump at the harsh noise of a fist against wood. It echoes through my apartment. I stare at the entrance, waiting for the sound of footsteps down the brick stairs. Instead, I get another knock and a voice.

"Chloe, I need to talk to you," the voice is muffled. It’s a man for sure, but unless I get up and check I don’t know who it is. I place my bowl on the table then walk over to the door. Knowing the dangers of opening up to anyone I grab the bat near my fridge. I step over and peak through the eyehole. I see a fisheye view of Silas. His hair is sticking to his forehead and his clothes look wet.

"Chloe, please," he drops his head to the door. Part of me wants to open it just so he can trip forward. But another part wants him to leave now.

"Go away," I yell. Still looking through the hole I see his head pop up. He looks directly at the peephole now.

"Chloe, please. Just five minutes, that’s all I ask," he holds out his hands. I can see he is dripping wet.

"Why should I," I yell back.

"Because I want to apologize. I've had time to think and I really need to talk with you," he is practically begging. I have never heard him beg. Even in his stories, he is never the one to be a sub, to beg for anything. He is probably used to people throwing themselves at his feet just to get a taste of him.

I try to fight my goodwill. I shouldn’t let him in. but it's raining out and he is standing here soaking wet just to talk to me. Yet I don’t owe him anything, just let him get sick. Still, I'm curious.

With a sigh, I grabbed the doorknob. Pulling it open with a reluctant grimace. This better not be a mistake.

I look up at a soaked Silas. His white button-up is taunt to his torso. I can see his undershirt easily now. His black slacks are dripping over his shoes and onto the doormat. He looks tired. Black rings under his eyes along with his cheeks being hollow. He doesn’t look healthy.

"You look like shit," I deadpan. I didn’t want to be the first one to talk but I couldn’t resist the jab.

He chuckles," yea, I've noticed. Can I come in?" I look him over again. He isn't coming in here dripping all over the place.

"You are soaked, ill grab a towel," I turn and walk to the linen closet. I grab a towel and walk back over. I nearly trip when I see him taking off his shirt. Kicking his shoes off beside the mat. He balls up his shirt then reaches back and grabs the undershirt. I get to see his flat stomach, then his toned pecs. Silas isn't buff by any standards. He has definition but not great mass. He doesn’t have abs but his stomach is flat and toned. His chest is broad but it isn't strong. Only his arms hold any girth. His biceps and shoulders being the only things with muscle.

He looks up at me," Sorry. Thought it would be easier if I had less to dry." I come back to myself.

"It's alright, here," I walk over and hand him the towel. Not looking at him anymore. I turn away from him and go to my couch. Sitting on the farthest end. I watch as he dries himself before stepping in. he wraps the towel around his waist then removes his pants from underneath. I look away as he does.

"You can look, I'm not showing anything," he laughs. I still don’t look. It's hard to be mad at someone when they are half-naked in your living room. Cant give a proper glare if I'm blushing. He is the first man I've seen to this level of disrobe.

"What do you want," I decide to get to the point. I don’t want him here longer than he has to be. After a second of him not answering I look over at him. He is staring down at the ground, his hair blocking his eyes.

"I miss you," he starts. I look at him confused and skeptical. I don’t trust him. He looks over when I don’t answer, " I wanted to respect your choice of not wanting to see me but…" he sighs.

He takes a moment to collect himself," I've been a mess without you. I couldn’t understand why either. I know I liked talking with you but this feeling is a lot. I think about you constantly, I catch myself walking to your office often. It hasn’t been just my thoughts you are ruining too." he looks up at me, in the light, his face looks terrible. The low light makes his face look almost skeletal. I can see the shadow of his ribs under his pecs. Has he not been eating? Then it clicks, he hasn’t been feeding.

"What did you do," I find myself asking," are you feeding?"

He shakes his head," I haven't since we stopped talking. I can't bring myself to go out. For the first week, I was confused. I forced myself out the second week but I did something I haven't done ever. I said no to someone. I didn’t want to fuck them, the idea of it was sickening at the time. I had to ask my brother what was happening. Maybe I was sick and needed some help. My brother told me differently." I watch him, worried about him but not wanting to show it. I've known the guy for a year, we got a little close. The time I've known him I never heard him having this issue. He has never not fed. He is a man whore to the max! this is so out of character.

"What did he tell you," I ask. He opens his mouth to answer but shuts it. He tries again but nothing comes out. He drops his head to his shoulder, wincing. Running his fingers through his wet hair and adjusting his towel too much.

"Why is it so hard to tell you," he groans," I just want you to know that I'm honestly sorry about telling everyone. At the time I thought I was helping but it isn't till later that I realized you never wanted my help. Also that it isn't the help I wanted to give you. I want you to be happy, truly I do. In my dumb cum brain way of thinking I thought that my way of helping would be what makes you happy. I'm sorry. I still want to help but now it's more complicated. If not selfish now."

I sit up," what do you mean?" I'm worried. If his way of helping before was to make me a living target for people at work, I hate to see what it is now.

"I have to tell you something, and I need you to work with me on this. I don’t know if I can say it if I'm being honest," he runs his fingers through his hair again," you know I care about you. We have been friends for a while. I cherish our conversation, you were the only one who listened. Not even the sex stuff but everything. Like when I told you about my insecurities, I knew I could trust you with them. I know you are someone I can trust, and I want you to trust me." he walks over to the couch. Flopping on the other end. He leans over and looks me in the eyes. The action sends a tingle down my spine. His eyes are searching, I can feel him searching.

"What are you doing," I lean hard against the arm of the couch. He scoots a little closer. Still looking at me, in me. It feels invasive. After a second he smiles.

"You know one of my powers is emotions. On the account I feed off them it should seem self-explanatory. Either way, I can see a person's feelings. Strong ones radiate from someone like a beacon, do you know what I see when I look at you," he cocks a brow. I shake my head," I see loneliness. When we first met it was like being slapped. You were pouring with it. So I was drawn to you, wanting to fix that in some way. My intention was pure, I wanted to see you smile. Make your day less alone. When you stormed into my office I could feel the rage boiling off you. It was suffocating. But now, now I can see fear, worry, and affection. Fear for what I'm saying, worry for me, and affection for me. So, Chloe, I will tell you what I came here for." he scoots close enough for our legs to touch. He grabs my hands away from my chest, resting them in my lap. Then he just stares at me, a smile gracing his lips.

"What," I mumble, "What did you come to say?"

"That I'm in love with you," he finally answers. His words are like a jolt down my spine. It's of both joy and rage. I rip my hands from his hold. He frowns.

"Fuck you," I hop over the arm of the couch. Putting as much distance between us as I can. He watches me as I pace the room. He looks sad but I couldn’t give a damn at the moment.

"You don’t get to fucking say that," I snap at him," you don’t get to be an asshole then decide you did it out of affection. That isn't how this works, Silas." he jumps from the couch. Walking over to me but I hold my arm out to stop him.

"Please, Chloe," he tries to talk.

"No, don’t 'please Chloe' me. This isn't fair, this isn't ok! You don’t get to ruin my work-life then march in here two weeks later saying you love me. You lying piece of shit," I point at him. As he hears my last words he sneers. Grabbing my hand he pulls me close. I fight in his hold, not giving him the satisfaction.

"Chloe," he shouts, "Stop." he wraps his arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides. We glare at each other, "I may have been less than savory but I will never lie about my feelings to you. You can kick me, punch me, spit on me, but know that I tell the truth. I care about you, I want you, I love you. Do you understand me?"

"I don’t believe you," I squint up at him. I fight in his hold again, he lets me go with a sigh. I back up far enough away that I feel he cant grab me. He still looks dejected. His fist clenching at his sides for a second before he wipes them on the towel.

"Chloe," he looks up between his lashes, " after I last saw you I was sad. I missed our conversations. I talk to everyone at work but you are the one I looked forward to seeing. I always knew I had feelings for you. I never pushed anything cause I didn’t want to lose you because of who I am. See, no one wants to be friends with an incubus, think we are a bunch of silver-tongued sluts. My last close friend stopped talking to me when he got a girlfriend. He thought I would steal his girl away, how ridiculous.

"But after that day I starved. I couldn’t bring myself to feed off anyone. The idea of touching someone was disgusting. I thought I was sick. Not once did I think it could be any other reason. So I called my brother after the first week. I was- I am- in pain. I'm starving like you wouldn’t understand. When I called him and told him he asked if I was in love with anyone. I laughed at him, of course not. Then he asked again, then before I could actually think on it your name popped up. Suddenly it all made sense. My brother said that I'm bonded to you now. I didn’t know what that meant, sounded a little cliché. It seems that I have made a connection with you, I cannot bring myself to feed on anyone else. I won't even if I had a choice because all I want is you. All I need is you. All I can think about is you." I try to glare at him. I really try to be mad but I look at his body. He looks so weak, so malnourished that it hurts me.

"bonded," I ask," what does that mean for me?" I still don’t trust his words. I know how convincing he can be. Yet I know there is truth there. He would never starve himself for anyone.

He takes a step closer but stops when I take one back," nothing. Not unless we… it means nothing to you."

"Not unless we what," I ask. He looks at me, glancing between my eyes as he thinks. He doesn’t answer me, instead, he turns to the couch and sits. His leg spread and his hands on his face. He sighs. I take a step closer," Silas." he sighs again. Dropping his hands to his lap he looks me over.

"Can you do that again," he mumbles.

"Do what," I ask wearily. He runs his hands over his thighs.

"Can you say my name, its intoxicating to hear my name come from your lips," he grips the towel.

I fold my arms," just answer the question." he rolls his eyes before dropping his head back to the couch.

"It doesn’t matter, just give me a second and ill leave," he grumbles.

"No, I let you inside so you can answer my question," I snap. He lifts his head a bit to look at me. Giving me a once over before dropping against the couch again.

"I will answer if you answer one question of mine," he offers.

"No, I don’t owe you anything," I sneer.

"Humor me," he tilts his head," Please."

I glare at him for a second but give in," fine."

Silas watches me for a moment," Do you like me? Before all this. Before I fucked up royally. Did you even for a second think of me as an option?"

I ponder lying for a second. Of course, I've thought of him. He is literally sex personified. Even besides that he was funny, I liked talking with him. I knew there wouldn’t be a chance, he was too interested in partying and sleeping around. It wasn’t my taste. I rather not date a man whore. But he made a good friend, I got along with him well enough.

"For a second. But I had no interest in dating someone who has a body count in the triple digits," I jab. He doesn’t acknowledge that part. He looks hopeful for a moment.

"Was it because I was an incubus or because I was me," he sits up.

"Nope, I answered your one question, now answer mine," I chide.

He ignores me," Did you like me or what I could do? When you had that thought did you think because of the pleasure I could give you or because you enjoyed me?"

I balance on my other foot, looking away from him," Not unless what, Silas?"

He stands," Chloe, did you like me. Answer the question." I try to speak but he talks over me," Chloe, how did you want me?" I try again but he interrupts," Chloe!"

"Fine, I liked you! You were funny and silly. You liked stupid memes and hate tomatoes in your salad even though you always buy them with tomatoes. You stop talking anytime you saw a cute dog, it was adorable, and you actually listen to teen pop music. I couldn’t have cared less that you are an incubus, that didn’t matter. I liked you and all your silly quirks," I snap. He stares at me shocked. I turn away, I cant look at him.

"Chloe," he whispers. He sounds closer. I still don’t look. "Chloe," he mumbles near my ear. I feel his hand grab my arm. Unfolding them and bringing them around his waist. I let him, not having the fight anymore. I hold him lazily while he wraps his arms around my back. Pressing my head to his chest.

"You hurt me," I mumble against him," I trusted you not to tell everyone. It wasn’t really a secret but I didn’t want everyone only talking to me because of that."

He pets my back," I know. I'm sorry. I will do anything to make it up to you. It was a terrible thing to do and I will do whatever I can for you to trust me again. All I ask is you give me a chance." I can't answer but I nod against him. I feel his chest deflate as he sighs in relief. Holding me just a little tighter, kissing my hair.

We stand there in silence for a moment. I hear his heartbeat slowly against my ear. It sounds weak. I can feel his spine along my fingers. He really is starving.

"Silas," he sighs again," you need to eat." he nods against my head.

"I can't," he whimpers," the thought of eating from anyone but you make me sick." I lean back in his hold, looking at his gaunt face.

"Is there another way for you to feed," I ask," I know you can get like snacks from other emotions."

He presses my head back against his chest," Don’t worry about me, alright. Just let me hold you and that will be enough." I don’t push it.

"Then, can you tell me about being bonded?"

He stops breathing, "Do I have to?"

"Yes," I answer. He huffs.

"If we ever make love then I cannot feed from anyone else. You wouldn’t grow weak from me, and you could read me like I read others. It’s a very deep thing, it cant be broken after that," he finally explains. I gasp into his chest.

"Read you," I ask. I run my fingers over his spine. I can feel the hairs rise and his body shiver.

"Right now you are sad, and emotionally drained. I can read that from you," he explains," you would be able to do that with me." I nod. There isn't much I can say to that. He is right, I'm so drained. I want to be mad at him but seeing him as this hurts. Seeing him so weak and starving. I don’t want to believe he cant feed from others. That the idea of being with anyone else makes him sick but the evidence is there. I'm tired of thinking, I know this feels right.

I lean back and look up at him. He stares right back. I reach up and grab his jaw with one hand. Pulling him down to me. He doesn’t resist, probably too scared to. I stop him when our noses touch. His eyes are beginning to close and his lips are slightly parted.

"You will never do what you did again, do you understand me," he nods," if you hurt me even a little we are done. I never want to see you again or hear from you. Is that clear?" he nods again. I guess that finishes it. I lean in and take his lips for mine. When we meet it feels like fire. Like my body slowly began to engulf in flames. Starting at my lips then working over my body. Silas groans into my mouth, pulling me closer. My legs sit between his, his knee hitting my thigh. His crotch sits flush against my stomach. I can feel his cock from under the towel. I wouldn’t say he is hard but he is getting there.

I reach up and cup both sides of his face. Pulling him just a bit closer as he sucks on my bottom lip. Nibbling and licking as his hands pet along my back. He is a great kisser, I find myself thinking. I meet his tongue with my own, I feel his chest rumble against mine. I lure his tongue into my mouth where I suck on it. Feeling a familiar tingle in my stomach as I do.

Without warning, he pulls from me. Spit hanging between us that he catches with his tongue. He stands straighter, still petting my back. His eyes are black like I've never seen before. His mouth is parted showing off his teeth, his fangs.

"Chloe, you are more potent than anyone I have ever tasted," he growls as he drops his head to my neck," But I cannot bring myself to take from you anymore right now. I still need to earn your trust." he kisses my neck with a few lazy pecks before licking me. He growls, his teeth pressing against my throat. I don’t notice my heavy breathing, but I do notice his.

"Silas," I sigh. I'm not sure what I was going to say but knew I should talk. He groans, bucking his hips against me after he hears his name.

"Do it again," he licks my neck.

"Silas," I peck his cheek. He bites my neck, it feels like electricity coming from his teeth.

"You are too divine," he whispers against my skin. He quickly leans back, tilting his head to his shoulders. He looks a little dazed, his cheeks are less taunt but he still has bags under his eyes. Licking his lips he gropes my hips. "I'm sorry love, I seem to be a bit drunk off you already," he laughs," I may need to sit down." he lets go of me and nearly falls as he turns to the couch. I grab his arm and help him to the seat.

He falls against the loveseat, making it hit against the wall. His head drops against the cushion, his hands spread wide on the sofa. Silas lazily drops his head to the side, looking up at me. He pats the seat next to him.

"We aren't doing anything else but please sit. I need to touch you," he slurs. I can't help but chuckle at his drunk state. I take the seat beside him. He quickly grabs me and pulls me close. Our sides flush, he rests his hand on my thigh.

"Little drunk? Does this happen often," I ask with a smirk.

He eyes me with a weak grin," not at all. Not since I was young. I have built a tolerance but yours is very strong. Like the hardest of liquors but I rather compare you to a glass of fine wine." I find myself rolling my eyes at him. The flirt.

We sit in silence for a while. Just enjoying each other's company for the time being. I get a moment to think about him, about what he said. It's strange to figure that he of all people could be in love. Let alone in love with me. I try to doubt it but I can't bring myself to. He seemed so distraught when I called him a liar. Like I hit him or something. It's hard to think he could ever be interested in me, actually enjoy our conversations. He talked with everyone at work, the social butterfly compared to me. He was just a friendly guy, it kind of came with the territory.

"I should be getting out of your hair now," he mumbles. I look up and see he is falling asleep. His head tilted back and eyes closed. He doesn’t make an attempt to move just yet.

"Sleep on the couch, you can leave in the morning," I sit up. I stretch my arms above me, groaning with the exertion. I jump when his fingers glide along my side. He chuckles. I glance over and his eyes are just barely open, a soft grin on his face. He drops the grin and pets along my hip.

"I can't believe I never saw it before this," he stares," it was always there."

"What was always there," I ask as I sit back on the sofa. He adjusts his hand so it's wrapped around my middle. He leans on his side so we are face to face.

"You are so beautiful. Funny, charming, smart, kind, and best of all, you like me," he grins. I find myself grinning along with him." but it has always been there. I've liked you for a while but I knew you wouldn’t go out with someone like me. Hell, I couldn’t promise you that id actually stick around too long. But recently, even before my dumb move, I think I've always loved you. It's easy to see it now. Looking at you makes my heart feel at home. I can say for certain that I will never leave you. Unless you tell me, ill be right by your side." I look at his eyes for lies. Any indicator that he wasn’t being honest. I found nothing, just genuine care. This is what I've wanted for a while. Just open tenderness with another person. I think I can forgive him for being an idiot.

"kiss me," I look down at his lips.

He leans back a little," don’t be asking for things you don’t understand now. I'm just coming down from being drunk if we kiss I can't stop this time."

"Good, I don’t want you to," I smile up at him.

He sits up," no, I got to take you out on a date. Actually, try to woo you. I owe you that much, if not more." I crawl over and straddle his lap. He instinctually reaches up to hold me but thinks better of it at the last second. His hand hovering over my thighs. I run my hand up to his bare chest, feeling his warmth. I look up at his conflicted face. He looks down at me but then looks away.

"Take you out to a nice restaurant, shower you with compliments and bring you flowers. Then-oh," he groans as I kiss his chest. I'm not really sure what I'm doing, having never gotten this far before. But touching him feels right. I brush my arms over his sides, noticing his ribs aren't as prominent. I kiss down his sternum then over to his nipple. I lick over it, smiling when he gasps. Before I could continue he grabs my hair and pulls me back. His eyes are black again and he looks dazed.

"Dinner, Movie, Flowers, gifts. I will do those things you understand," he growls. I nod," Good." in a second his lips are on mine. His grip on my hair is used to tilt my head. Diving his tongue into my mouth quickly. Licking along my teeth and tongue. I feel him under his towel, poking between my legs. I want to grind on him but I think better of it.

Just as quick as he kissed me he pulls away. Hissing with his eyes clenched.

"Chloe, I'm not that strong. I've never had to use control before. I'm certain I will not be having sex with you tonight, I cant. Even if you have forgiven me I still owe you something better for your first time," he opens his black eyes," I will treat you to a lovely night out. Then I'm going to take you to my place where I will worship you. But till then I beg you to have pity on my control." I'm a bit shocked at what he said. He will take me to his place? From all the stories he has told I've never once heard him taking someone back to his place. It's almost a rule for him to not take anyone to his home.

"To your place," I asked still shocked.

He grins," of course. Be hard to leave the next morning if I'm at my house," he tries to joke.

"You have never taken someone to your house," I clarify.

"Well you aren't just anyone, are you," he cocks a brow," you are way more important than anyone before." I reach forward and kiss him again. He startles for a second before getting into it. I pull back after a short moment.

"Dinner next weekend," I ask.

"I'll pick you up around seven," he grins.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scarping the bottom of the barrel for past stories because I am in a rut right now in writing. I have this cute orc story but fuck, I cant write! so here is a work in progress I edited so I don’t have to write an actual ending.

Also this character is totally me, like I was not subtle at all. I reread this like a month after I wrote it and I'm like ‘oh this is me, that's rude’.

also, also. If you aren’t interested in sex, there is nothing wrong with you. sometimes you don’t find it appealing and that’s ok, don't let anyone make you feel bad for that.

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