#but I’m realizing that I don’t think this game ever existed and I created a horrific fucking game for my own torture

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @66sharkteeth

66 is a comic artist and the creator of City of Blank, a WEBTOON original series. They worked in the game industry at companies such as 2K Games before entering the field of comics. They began their career in comics at Tapas, where they worked as an editor and lead typesetter, before being signed to create their own original series on WEBTOON.

Check out our interview with 66 below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

The short answer is yeah, I’ve definitely had one. Overall, I feel like doing a lot of style studies during that time and trying to use new brushes helps a lot. In addition, because I’m a comic artist, I feel like writer’s block is in the same field, and with that, I’m really fortunate that I have an editor that I can work with, who helps me a lot there. Whenever I am stuck at a plot point in my comic, I can always go to my editor, who helps me hammer things out.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Animation. Of course, everyone loves animation. I went to school for game art and design and even did some animation courses, and I am just not cut out for it. I don’t enjoy the process, and I am not good at it. Animation is beautiful, and I admire people who can do it. I’d love for my work to be animated some day, I’m just not capable of being the one to do it haha.

Warm tones or cool tones?

It really depends on the scene! Especially in my comic, I really go with both of them, just depending on the moment in the comic. There was a major character death, and that scene was almost black and white. But normally, the comic is very vibrant, and people really like it, so when I switch it to a more cold tone, it makes the scene that much more impactful.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

Honestly, my current comic, City of Blank, takes up 100% of my time. But recently, I did a plushie campaign where I worked with Makeship through Webtoon to design the plushies and do a little bit of marketing for them. So that’s fun and different from what I normally do!

When planning a comic or a story, what do you do first, character design or character outline?

Normally, I have a design, and I fall in love with the character design, and then I find a role for them. That’s how a lot of my characters have started. Also, that’s how I’ve been tackling new projects that I want to work on after City of Blank. I just came up with a character, and I’m trying to make a story around them.

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Meeting readers and realizing how much my work means to some of them. Some of them have started their own comics, having been inspired by mine. Learning that I’m part of the reason they started their own comic journey, the same way I looked to other inspiring comic artists to start mine—it means the world that I’m in that position now.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Let’s see…bright, sparkly colors! I think just trying to make sure that the booth is eye-catching. I ended up making a big shiny banner for New York Comic Con, and I know many people stopped by because it caught their eye and they’re curious about what it is. I know a lot of people are selling merchandise of popular media. Even just a banner of your brand to get them curious about who you are and maybe interested in seeing what you make and taking a business card so they can look you up later. It’s better than someone just buying a pin and forgetting you exist. Lastly, put out a tip jar. You never know just how generous your fans are feeling.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

I’m mostly involved in the webtoon sphere! I am definitely inspired by my fellow Webtoon creators, @lark-wren, who created the series Woven. I love their work and seeing them interact with their readers on Tumblr. Same with fellow Webtoon creators, @miranda-mundt-art and @astrobleme-enterprises, who created Lovebot.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, 66! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @66sharkteeth and follow their webcomic, City of Blank, over at WEBTOON.

[breathlesswinds]

(Devlog) What We Learned Making A Trans Dating Game

Hello, Amelia here, the writer for Breathless Winds. It's been 250,000+ words, countless revisions, and three years since this game entered development, and I wanted to talk about what I've learned leading up to release.

The concept for Breathless Winds was actually sort of a joke between friends. I was talking with Doris about how there should be a dating game where you play as a trans woman and your dating options revolve around certain ‘tropes’ we’d both seen in trans fiction-- the totally accepting cishet guy who falls in love with the trans heroine before she even knows she’s a woman, the cool trans woman who the heroine doesn’t know if she wants to date or wants to be, and so on.

Doris wound up suggesting we make this game ourselves. We both like visual novels and want to tell LGBT stories. Still half-jokingly and half-seriously, we started fleshing out what the romance options would be and coming up with a setting-- and soon, we were fully committed to making this game real.

I was a fan of visual novels but had only ever written prose. I knew which visual novels I liked and which scenes stood out, but I didn’t know why they did or how to make my own. 

I read some great advice from visual novel developers, but a good amount of my knowledge came from just working on Breathless Winds. As our first project, this game has grown a lot with us and we’ve learned a lot while making it.

Learning How to Write Visual Novels

A bad habit I had to break out of was only using the ‘novel’ part of the game and not the ‘visual’ part. I would sometimes write “He smiled” or lines like that, and Doris informed me that we can convey this much more simply with a sprite change.

It sounds obvious in retrospect, but lines like that are often pretty invisible when you’re reading a non-visual novel. These lines change the sprite of the character inside your head (if that makes sense, haha). I realized that I’m so used to them being ‘invisible’ that I didn’t notice their absence in visual novels I liked, so I would accidentally include them while writing. 

I was also writing these routes in a word processor, so I didn’t have the visual portion to reference, myself. I wound up making a lot of ‘tone’ notes like, “Lantana should be smug here” so that the meaning would carry when revising and implementing these into Ren’py. 

So, while visual novels share a lot with prose, they’re an entirely different medium. On the subject of representing things visually, I’ve struggled trying to figure out how much can be visually represented and how much should be written. 

Every asset in the game has to be drawn by Doris, so if I want the characters to go to a new location for a scene, I have to keep in mind that’s another background that Doris has to draw. If I want a new character to show up, that’s another sprite she has to draw. I don’t want to overload her, but if I’m trying to avoid this entirely, characters sometimes wind up standing in one room talking for ages without anything significant changing on-screen.

I’ve learned that it’s recommended for something to almost always be changing on-screen, though, so sometimes I just have to ask Doris to make a new asset for a certain scene. I still try to stick to locations/characters that already exist more often than not.

Every single thing in a visual novel is deliberate. Another thing I’ve had to learn that I never even considered before is how to write each line so it fits in the text box. It sounds obvious, but when I’m playing a visual novel, I don’t usually think about how each line has to be carefully constructed so it doesn’t need to be split up into two or more text boxes. In my mind, if a visual novel is well-created, there’s not much that breaks a reader’s immersion.

Planning & Outlining

The previous section might sound really weird to some people, so let me elaborate.  I’m a lifelong ‘write by the seat of your pants’-er, so the biggest trial-and-error of creating Breathless Winds for me was planning out the game.

Initially, I created outlines for each of the four routes, and we agreed ahead of time on which CGs each route would have. That way, Doris could draw the necessary backgrounds and CGs while I was in the long process of drafting this game.  My original outlines weren’t great. I know a lot of people have different experiences with writing, but for me personally, a story is always shaping itself in my mind. When I started making the outlines for Breathless Winds, I knew the concepts we wanted to convey, but I didn’t know what each route (and the game as a whole) was really about yet. This might sound weird and unprofessional, but sometimes, I don’t know what a story is about until I finish the first draft.

So while I was writing, I would look at my outlines and I would think, “this doesn’t actually make sense, he wouldn’t say that” or “this plot point would work better if moved to this other section” or “there’s a plot hole here I didn’t notice”. The story wound up changing a lot in this way as I learned what it’s really ‘about’. 

And even after I finished the first draft, I’d get feedback from Doris and/or my editor and they would suggest fixes to problems that even I hadn’t noticed, and then I would revise the route some more, and later on I’d come back and need to redo part of the route to comply with something I wrote in a later route-- I haven’t really felt ‘finished’ with Breathless Winds at any point, and I think I’ll still feel this way after the game is released.

This means that sometimes, a background was created but would go unused because there was no space for the scene that would use it, or we’d need a new CG last-minute, or so on. 

When I’m figuring things out as I go while writing a non-VN, the only person that I can adversely affect is my own self… so I’m eternally grateful for all of Doris’s patience with me on this matter. I think Breathless Winds has come out a much better game for all the re-plotting and revision. 

I redid the outlines several times as I went. I think I’ve understood how to create outlines that personally work for me-- ‘living’ outlines that hit all the main points, but leave wiggle room for moments when a character does something unexpected, work the best for me.

Scope Creep

So, originally, each route was meant to be 40,000 words. “With four routes, that’s only 160,000 words!” I thought. “And some of my favorite visual novels are about that long, so I can write that much, too!” ← clueless

This is the most infamous mistake that new creators make, and I walked right into it. I should have known better since I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with past non-VN writing projects before, but I was starry-eyed and didn’t realize how much work it is to make a VN. Some of those favorite visual novels I referenced were made by much larger teams, writers whose full-time job was writing (I wrote all of these routes on the side while working at a day job). 

If I could have done it again, I would have asked Doris to start out with a really short VN. But, I don’t regret making Breathless Winds at all. It’s brought Doris and I a lot closer, for one. Every time I thought I wanted to give up on this, Doris would motivate me to continue. Without the two of us both and our strong friendship, Breathless Winds wouldn’t exist, and I think that’s beautiful. 

No matter what, we’re going to see it through to the end. (I hope people like it, though…)

Anyway, here I am talking about how much 40,000 words is. Each route now is about 60k to 70k words. The problem with having evolving outlines is that they can often evolve into double their original size.

We came up with the idea of the poachers really early in development, and then not addressing the poachers felt like a failing, but by that point it was too late to remove the poachers entirely… and so the game wound up a lot longer dealing with the poachers. 

I think that if we had an editor sooner on in the game’s development, then we might have had someone to tell us, “do you really need all of this in the game? Does this plot point really need to be there? Will you be able to write all of this in a reasonable amount of time?”, haha. But Doris and I were really excited about the possibilities of this game when we started creating it, and without anyone to reel us back in, we wound up coming up with more and more things we wanted to put in the game.

Did you know there was going to be an island full of talking rats who say things like “the big cheese” and stuff all the time in Breathless Winds? Yeah. 

The Core Design Philosophy of Breathless Winds

So, for anyone who’s read this far but doesn’t know yet-- the premise of Breathless Winds is that you play as a trans woman who doesn’t know she’s trans yet, and she finds love with one of four love interests as she discovers her gender identity. 

In real life, it can be a lot messier for a person to date when discovering their gender identity. To put it briefly and mildly, a trans person’s life and sense of personal identity can rapidly change during a gender crisis and the early stages of transition. 

However, we wanted to make this game a ‘wish-fulfillment’ type story-- a trans fantasy about acceptance, community, and love. During a gender crisis, it can be easy to feel as if one has lost touch with themselves and become isolated from others. A sincere wish shared by many trans people is to be accepted, loved, and even celebrated as their true gender, not just tolerated. 

Since many trans people don’t get love and acceptance in real life, especially with the ongoing transphobic moral panic, we wanted to create a game that would bring this feeling of trans joy and celebration to trans audiences. 

We also hope that cis players will still enjoy the story and characters, and maybe come away from the game with a new understanding about being transgender and other aspects of LGBT identity (although we never intended this game to be ‘educational’).

Making Characters that Celebrate Trans Identity

Although we went through several revisions, the core identities of each character stayed the same since the game was first ‘jokingly’ pitched. In another post, I discussed how each character is themed around a change in seasons. (I also wound up theming them around the four humors when I was initially concepting them-- I really wanted to avoid too much ‘overlap’ in the LI’s personalities, haha). 

Ultimately, characters are created to serve a role. The LIs in Breathless Winds were designed to be love interests, of course-- characters who would appeal to the hypothetical trans femme audience. As mentioned earlier, we modeled them after other trans fiction tropes because these types of characters have a certain tried-and-true appeal, but this left plenty of flexibility to put our own spin on it. 

A trans woman being loved as a woman by a cishet guy can feel like a high form of ‘passing’, ‘fitting in’ to the female gender role, and being validated by his orientation. He only likes women, and he likes you, so you’re undoubtedly a woman. As a cishet guy, he represents a sort of acceptance into a societal norm that trans women can desire to live to. (Lantana, as a cis lesbian, represents the sapphic counterpoint to this-- although there is of course a big gap between the ‘normalcy’ of a cishet man and a cis lesbian woman, and I don’t mean to say those two are equivalent.) 

But not all trans women want to live to that (cis) societal norm. Rue and Valerian, as a trans woman and a trans man respectively, are the t4t options. 

Rue’s route represents that trans/sapphic ‘envy’ (“do I want her or do I want to be her?”) as well as finding power in community aside from what society considers ‘normal’. We’ve always been pretty clear about what we wanted to do with Rue’s route.

We went back and forth a lot more on Valerian’s route. Initially, we were unsure if he should be trans. He and Rue are the two less-friendly love interests (at least initially), so I was afraid it would come across that t4t is a more hostile option, which is not true at all. But it also felt like a mistake to not have a trans man in the game-- but making Gallardia trans would have required a big overhaul of what we had in mind for him and his route. (Although, childhood friends t4t is a really good idea...)

Beyond that, Valerian takes a villainous role in any route that isn't his own. We were worried that it would be wrong to have a trans antagonist who represents unjust power. However, Breathless Winds is a queer game with other positive trans characters, and we've always approached Valerian as a hot anti-villain man that you can't help but like.

In the end, Valerian’s route is about breaking generational cycles and what it is that makes you a man, and I also managed to sneak in a scene where they dance at a ball in the royal palace, so in the end I think it all worked out great.

Wish Fulfillment and Catharsis

Doris and I both agreed that we wouldn’t depict on-screen transphobia in Breathless Winds. Poppy worries about not being accepted, but fear of acceptance can come with any change in identity. Rue was rejected by her family for being trans, but this doesn’t take place ‘on screen’ in the game. There exist certain metaphorical parallels for transness and transphobia, but every route has a happy ending. 

Following up on this-- it can be difficult to write about discovery of gender identity without writing about transphobia, considering how many trans people suffer from internalized transphobia during their period of repression.

Sometimes, repressed/closeted transgender people ‘hyper-perform’ their assigned gender as a form of denial. A trans woman might grow out a beard and join a gym, while a trans man might become very interested in makeup and feminine clothing. 

In Breathless Winds, Poppy often struggles with ‘strength’ and what it means to be a man. In several routes, she tries to prove her strength under the assumption that being stronger would make her happy. Afraid the world would reject her if she became who she really is, she preemptively rejects herself.

Not every trans person suffers from prolonged denial, internalized transphobia, or even gender dysphoria. I don’t think it’s impossible to tell a purely-positive story about trans joy. 

While Poppy never gets rejected for being trans, faces transphobia, gets called a slur, etc, she faces both internal and external (metaphorical) obstacles to realizing and accepting her identity. 

Gallardia represents a societal norm that Poppy can’t live up to herself as a man.

Lantana suffers from certain aspects of her identity as a woman, which makes Poppy feel guilt for wanting to be a girl.

Rue is isolated from town at the start of her route, a ‘punishment’ for breaking this societal norm.

Valerian has to hyper-conform to his masculine gender role at first in toxic ways before finding acceptance from within and from his loved ones.

These struggles are real to a lot of people, but instead of pretending they don’t exist, I hoped to tell a story about catharsis. Poppy is able to live up to her truth as a woman and finds love with Gallardia, Poppy and Lantana redefine what being a woman should and does mean to them, Rue and Poppy find community in others who don’t fit the norm, Poppy and Valerian stop seeking gender validation from a society that was never made to serve them. 

Although these powerful forces of oppression exist, loving yourself as a trans person- and loving those around you, protecting the natural world, and standing up for what you believe in- can save the day. That’s the kind of story we wanted to tell.

Wrap-up

There’s a lot more I could write, but this has already gotten really long (sorry!) so I’ll wrap it up here. 

Learning how to write a visual novel in terms of technical skill (how to depict events on-screen, how long each line should be) as well as in terms of writing skill (how to outline the game, how to plan visual assets) has been a massive undertaking for me. 

Writing Breathless Winds has been a big challenge but also deeply rewarding, and all of your support has made the experience even more wonderful. Thank you for reading and thank you for supporting the game!

[disappointingcabbage]

TMAGP 21 thoughts, spoilers below the cut

“What if Alice is right about how fucked up the OIAR is?” I mean fuck, dude, she probably is

“It’s fine I can just quit if something tries to murder me” Sam that won’t help with the whole “monster trying to kill you thing” that’ll just make you unemployed in addition to being about to die

When Celia said she had a “complicated immigration status” I fucking cackled like girlie you are never beating the universe hopper allegations

Also yeah why did the OIAR not notice that she probably has next to no legal documentation of her existence? Like I get them being more lax than other government organizations but this is a whole other level

tbh it’s probably because Lena was like “eh fuck it this isn’t even in the top 70 weirdest things I’ve seen” and let it slide

“I wouldn’t be able to take Jack with me if I went back” Does this mean she knows how to go back?????

MAGNUS INSTITUTE CHESTER STATEMENT

ooh this is some alchemy shit

POLITICAL RESOURCES? did the institute have fucking plants in the government or did they just have, like, lobbyists?

love how this guy is like “we need stop being Christian centric when choosing the date to our fucked up eldritch ritual guys”

I’m sorry, a UNIVERSAL TRANSMUTATION? as in transforming the entire earth or even the whole universe???? Dude what???

The fucked up ritual in question is called the Dome Project, which judging only by the name sounds like they’re trying to make Flat Earth real, which is fucking hilarious

ok they were allegedly trying to create a utopia but every “utopia” is flawed so the question is how did they fuck this one up?

Oh damn they were trying to create a perfect“final state of society” that never changes. Even without the eldritch bullshit that’s a terrible idea just look at like every dystopian novel ever (and also the game slay the princess, which is built around the idea that change is a necessary component of life and has Jonny Sims voicing a lot of the dialogue)

I love how this guy’s best argument against bringing the world to a stagnant state is just “but we’re alchemists, guys, change is our whole thing :/”

Was I the only one who thought “et al” was pronounced like “et all” or is it just me? Or is it a regional thing?

Wait was their plan to actually just build a big ass dome to house a “perfect society”?

Oh shit they had actually already started construction.

Of course they were exploiting workers to build this “perfect dome”

THE DOME IS REAL????? (It’s called the millennium dome, don’t just google “dome project” you’ll just find a bunch of unrelated shit about business models and stuff)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LONG THE DOME WILL BE THERE? Isn’t that a major safety issue?

bro thinks the place is supernaturally contaminated and he’s probably right

Oh boy it’s also contaminated with heavy metals the real danger here is lead poisoning

I’m sorry what the fuck??? Construction guy got cloned by some dirt in the site and then his clone just fucking yanked him into the dirt? Clone didn’t even bother to replace him

lol statement writer just went “tldr we shouldn’t do our ritual here it’s fucked up enough as it is and incorporating a stagnant utopia into our eldritch ritual is dumb and we shouldn’t do it”

Alice has realized that Freddy is purposefully giving Sam Magnus statements

GIRLIE DID YOU JUST DELETE IT FROM HIS CASELOAD???

oooh shit she got caught by Lena

“haha Sam’s computer keeps malfunctioning so I tried to fix it and he definitely gave me permission hahaha ANYWAYS when are we getting a new IT guy?” smooth, Alice. Smooth.

Oh shit where’s Gwen? She’s late coming back? Lena doesn’t know where she is????

Ink5oul probably got her

Was that a .jmj error noise I just heard?

Oh fuck we actually get answers to the Gwen question and she is in fact running from ink5oul

Jesus this chase scene is actually scary, I’m impressed. It’s kind of hard to unsettle me this much without involving one of my actual phobias. Nice.

Also I had to google what trash polka is, turns out it’s a really cool tattoo style that’s simultaneously photorealistic and trippy, usually done in black, white, and red.

Oh shit Ink5oul can mess with tattoos they didn’t do

oh fuck they caught Gwen

Hey why is Gwen monologuing like those corpses?

[ERROR]? Where have you been, loca?

WHY IS THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES THEME PLAYING UNDER GWEN’S STATEMENT MONOLOGUE?

The transcript describes [ERROR] as “a nightmarish specter of an older world” and I’m not sure what to make of that yet but they sure are possessive of their victims, apparently. Judging by the fact that they said “there is more” I think they’re targeting either anyone with institute ties or anyone in the OIAR. Maybe both.

Love that Gwen just fucked booked it instead of sticking around to witness whatever that whole [ERROR]/ ink5oul interaction was

I’m glad that [ERROR] didn’t kill ink5oul tbh I like them

THE TAPE RECORDER FUCKING BIT THEM IM CACKLING

The Magnus Protocol sure is a podcast

[theweepingangelofcas]

Pip pip from your friendly neighbourhood lurker, I saw your requests are open and so I shall request my fluffy little idea to you dear writer and I hope you find just as funny and sweet as I did.

So for my request for the mtp bois basically on TikTok I saw a vid where a gf found her bf sleeping on the soft and decided to prank him by setting up a fake game of uno (but you can choose a different board game/card game if you want) once set up she starts shaking him awake and telling him its his turn obviously confused and half asleep but still takes his turn.

I don’t have any pacifically for this request so I’m leaving up to you to choose who would be best for this scenario.

From yours truly,

Your friendly neighbourhood lurker 

Hello, Friendly Neighborhood Lurker! For your ask, I decided on a few things on my own. Sadly, I don't believe uno existed during the Victorian era, so I opted for chess instead (a game I am absolute trash at, but shall write about it nonetheless). I also decided that William and Sherlock would be the most likely to fall asleep on the sofa during a busy day, so they will be our victims lol

***********************

My Turn? - Moriarty Boys x Reader

William Moriarty

Your poor William had been working himself to death lately.

Between the long days of teaching, long evenings of grading papers, and long nights of committing acts of violence, it was a miracle he ever got any sleep.

So when he finally fell into a deep slumber on the sofa one lazy morning, you knew now was the perfect time to spring your trap.

William awoke to the realization of a few things. 1. There was fresh tea brewing beside him. Earl grey, as far as he could tell. 2. You were sitting beside him. The floral notes of your favorite perfume was unmistakeable. 3. You were calling to him. Gently, lovingly. It brought him out of his slumber in the most lovely way he could imagine. His eyes opened sluggishly, turning his head to look over at you. "Yes, y/n? What is it?" He yawned, trying to focus on your words. You giggled, "It's your turn, William." He realized what you were talking about. There was a chessboard in front of you, set up next to said previously mentioned tea. The table between you two held snacks as well, set up like one of your usual game nights. He observed the board, before chuckling himself, "I can assure you, my dear, I am not the one who placed these pieces. But, to humor you..." He picked up a pawn, using it to behead one of your knights. Another laugh, "Why do you say that, Will? We were playing, and you must've been so tired you dozed off-" "This board is set up to a Stafford's gambit. Though I am no great chess player, even I know that this is a poor choice of plays." You finally released your laughter, trying to scoff it down to no avail, "And here I was, dear, hoping I had finally tricked you." Finally, he sat up. leaning across the table to give you a peck on the cheek. "Mm. Maybe one day, my sweet girl. Maybe one day."

Sherlock Holmes

This man is the most manic creature ever created by fiction, do you think he sleeps on a regular basis?

He's too smart to fall for your tricks after just one nap, which is why you waited for a much different occurance to happen...

You waited til he was coming back from a case.

"Dove?!" He was elated. His latest case had truly been genius. A devious crime scene, a truly mad perpetrator, everything he could have wanted! Even a headless nun! He simply had to tell you, his beloved partner of 2 years, all about it! "I'm over here where you left me, Lock!" He ran to you, bounding over heaps of books that he had looked through earlier, before joining you on the ragged sofa. In front of you was a chessboard, still in the early few plays. "Did John play a few games with you? Goodness knows that man is rubbish at chess. He should stick to being a doctor." You laughed, placing your hand on his knee, "No, dear, remember? We were just starting our game when Lestrade barged in and asked for your help." His face fell, trying to recall the events earlier that day. Truly, he couldn't recall too much besides following Lestrade out the door. A guilty look marred his face, "Dove, I am so sorry. I don't even remember. The case, it took up so much of my mind..." He looked over to you. Normally, he would have expected you to look sad. Disappointed, maybe. Instead, you had a smile. He took an extra second to observe the layout in front of him. Those were not any type of moves he would have played. He pinched your arm, and you squealed, "Liar. Good one, though. You almost got me." A kiss on your cheek, and he picked up one of your bishops off of the board. "Now, let me tell you about the headless nun."

[sophsicle]

Ooooh I saw you answer that question about writing advice and became curious: do you write “original” fiction as well as fanfiction? (love that for you either way). Love your fics btw. Kill Your Darlings is my absolute jam 🥰

I do yeah!

i don't really do anything with it but it does exist!

i shared the first chapter of one of them on here a while ago i think? i can't find the post now but i'll throw it down below if you're interested! Also thank you im so glad you like kyd!!!!

Ram

I think my father made the trees without mouths on purpose. For if they could talk, all of creation would know his secrets. Of course, in the end, perhaps it is better not to know. Kinder for him to keep us in the dark. Knowing is an anchor, it will drown you. That is why, on quiet days, you will hear the distant sounds of forests weeping. 

There’s a disturbance behind me. Nothing loud or startling—a slight rustle, a breath, the scrape of a leather boot. It is subtle and that is why I do not trust it. Never trust anything that is trying to be quiet. Without thinking my hand goes to my bow, an arrow in place by the time I turn around. 

Montoya laughs, holding his arms up, mocking me. He is dark, my brother, all the way through. 

“Scared, Ram?”  

I know instantly that I did not catch him. He wanted to be found. 

“No,” I answer flatly, “just prepared.” 

Montoya laughs again, bleeding an ease that I have never been able to find myself. Perhaps it is the sort of thing that comes with age. Though when you’re thousands of years old how much difference can a few centuries make?

“Your arms must be getting tired brother,” he says casually, and it is only then that I realize my weapon is still drawn. With reluctance I lower it, returning the arrow to the quiver on my back. 

“Why are you here?” this time I cannot hide my irritation.

“I could ask you the same question.”

I give him a flat look. Of all my siblings, Montoya has always made me the most ill at ease. There’s something about his eyes that leaves me wary. They are gapping holes that you swear will swallow you up and never set you free. 

“You are a terribly dull conversationalist Ram, has anyone ever told you that?” 

I don’t take the bait.

“Tsk tsk, what would father say about these manners huh? You’ve been spending too much time amongst the trees brother, you’re starting to turn into one.”

Not all my siblings can fly. My younger sister, Cartha, has gills instead of wings, and my brother Sye hates having his feet off the ground. But most of us, in some form or another, find ourselves in the sky. Montoya’s wings are large and crow like, hardly subtle or practical, but then, neither is he. Even now they create enough wind that I can feel myself fighting not to be pushed backwards. My own wings are small and white and sprout from my ankles.  

“Well,” I say finally, “if that’s all.” I turn my back on him, a dangerous move I’ll admit, though to his credit, Montoya has never attacked the family. He did, however, kill our sister’s cat once. 

I can hear him following me, hear the beating of his great wings. The noise grates my nerves. He is insufferable and there is nothing I can do about it. Sure, I could fight him, I’m good with a bow, but in truth, my brother is stronger. Besides, a fight is what he wants. It tickles him to make me angry. That’s his whole game. 

“Why so gloomy brother?” he asks, flipping onto his back as he pulls up beside me. I have never heard him be anything but taunting and cruel. I wonder if there was a time when he was not like this, but Hario assures me that there wasn’t and she is the oldest. Still, I find it hard to believe. After all, why would father create a son so hateful?

“I’m always gloomy,” I retort, keeping my gaze forward. 

It is spring, the sun setting and lighting the sky on fire with oranges and pinks. They reach out like fingers from the horizon, as if desperate to hold onto the day. 

“Well that is certainly true. Our melancholy little Ram,” he says in a baby voice that makes me want to spear him through the throat.  

“If I am melancholy what does that make you?” 

“Jolly?” 

I cannot help myself, I laugh. The idea that anyone would describe Montoya as jolly is too much for me.

“No, you’re right,” he says, sounding not at all offended. “Jolly is perhaps too dull a word, I am witty.” 

I look at him, brow arched. “Witty,” I repeat flatly. 

He grins, or perhaps sneers is more accurate. “Certainly wittier than you.” 

“Certainly.” 

“And our dear brothers and sisters.” 

“Certainly,” I repeat, though my jaw is clenched and my nails have begun burrowing into my palms. 

“I expect that is why father holds my opinion in such high regard.” 

“Not as high as Hario's.” The small flash of anger in his eyes is satisfying, though he maintains his smile. 

Hario is undeniably our father’s favourite. In truth, she is my favourite too. I have never been very good at getting close to people, but I have always felt comfortable around her. I can speak to her, tell her things in a way I can’t tell anyone else. 

“Not as high as Hario's,” Montoya repeats, the mockery from earlier melting away, revealing something much sharper. Much more dangerous. He might play at pettiness but I know that, in reality, he is far more sinister. “For now, anyway.” 

I stop abruptly, as though an invisible wall has suddenly appeared in my way. When Montoya finally stops too, turning to face me, I see a glint in his dark eyes. He’s won. Gotten the reaction he wanted. Snuck himself under my skin.  

“What is that supposed to mean?” I demand. 

“Ooh,” he is clearly enjoying himself, “have I hit a nerve?”

When he smiles I swear he has the teeth of a wolf, and in the setting sun they sparkle. I do not know why my father made him, why he poured all his ill will into this one creation and then named it son. A common misconception is that because there are gods there must also be demons. If I am the creator of all, my father always says, why would I create evil? Yet staring at Montoya now, at his black eyes, and pointed teeth, the sky ablaze behind him, I do not struggle to understand why the humans believe in a devil. 

“Do not make idle threats brother,” I say, attempting to keep my tone level. 

I’m playing right into his hands, I know, but I’ll not have Hario threatened. Not by anyone. He smirks, eyes running me slowly up and down before he moves forward, pausing just close enough that I can smell his breath.  

“I promise you,” his voice is so quiet it’s nearly carried away by the wind, “my threats are not idle.” He pauses, before laughing. “Brother.” 

His great wings flap, disturbing the trees below us as he flies higher in the sky.

“Father wishes you to know that he was much displeased that you missed his last banquet,” Montoya shouts as he continues to rise. “If I were you, I would not miss the next one.” 

I watch as he grows fainter and fainter, becoming nothing more than a black blip in the distance. I don’t move. I’m afraid that if I do the anger in me will unleash a hurricane. Quite literally. We are, all of us, me and my brothers and sisters, in possession of an affinity for one of the four elements: air, earth, water, fire. My element is air, Montoya and Hario both master fire. 

I force myself to take in several deep breaths, stretching out my hands which have cramped from being clenched so hard. There is a rage in me that I fear, I don’t know where it comes from or why it’s there, but it sits always in the corner of my chest. I have worked my whole life to suppress it, to keep it locked up inside me so that it can never hurt anyone else. Most of the time I succeed. But Montoya brings out the worst in me. 

I take another breath, the sun is almost gone now and the sky is navy blue and made of velvet. Slowly I start moving again, without really knowing where. I dip lower to the ground so that the tops of the trees brush my skin. I run my hands through them, they are cool now that the sunlight has fled. There shouldn’t be anyone out here to catch me, I’m miles from the nearest human site, but I keep a watchful eye on the ground anyway.

I have always hated my father’s banquets, even in my first days of life. There are too many beings, too much noise, and the way they all look at me…I take no pleasure in the power my father has given me, in the authority that comes with it. The other creations stare at us, or bow, offering up gold and wine and sometimes blood. I cringe at the thought. I have never once felt worthy of the deference they show us. In fact, it makes my skin prick and itch. I am not a leader or a ruler, I never have been. I prefer to watch from a far. In truth, I have always gotten the distinct impression that I am somewhat of a disappointment to my father. 

I close my eyes and drift for a moment, letting the air hold me like a pair of arms, cradling me in the night sky. There is sweat covering my skin, it drips slowly down my arms and legs and the side of my face, sending shivers across my bones. I breathe in again, slowly, listening to my heartbeat, to the expansion of the lungs in my chest. Somewhere a dog howls and a bird cries out. Their voices are faded by distance but they linger long after they are let loose. Hanging in the air just like me. This is where I am happiest, alone in the dark.

This is where I belong.

Edward

I don’t know if my mother ever loved my father. I don’t know how she could have. But I suppose, ultimately, it’s of little consequence. She brought with her a dowry too good to refuse, one which provided the Kingdom of Presado with enough ships and gold that it could boast of having the largest naval force this side of the world. And in return, her people gained the loyalty of my grandfather, one of the greatest military commanders alive, an excellent ally. Love was hardly considered. It never is. You cannot win a war with love, you cannot build palaces or feed hungry mouths with love. So why do we persist in the belief that it is so very important to our happiness? Why do we speak of it in the context of marriage and family when we know that it is so rarely present in either of those establishments? 

I don’t know if my mother ever loved my father. But I know that I certainly didn’t. 

I usually don’t bother with such thoughts but, staring at my own wedding contract, I find them hard to avoid. They say she is beautiful, the princess who is soon to be my wife, but then, they always say that. What use have I for a beautiful wife anyway? Mistresses are chosen for their beauty, I would rather my wife be clever. 

“She’s not a fanatic is she?” I ask my advisor, Rufus, as I look up from the pages in front of me for the first time in ages. My mother laughs and I meet her eye, grinning. Rufus simply looks startled. He’s a small man, with tuffs of hair coming out of his mostly bald head, and eyes that protrude so far from his face you fear they will fall onto the floor. He is wildly clever though. He was significantly under valued by my father, probably because he is in possession of a conscience. Skittish and odd he might be, but his loyalty lies firmly with the realm. A rarity, I have found. 

“A fanatic, your Majesty?” he squeaks. “What-er-what do you mean?” 

“Oh you know,” I wave my hand impatiently. “The type who never drinks or dances or laughs. Who always has their knees bent before some alter or another. Who cannot breathe without fearing for our souls.” 

My mother is shaking her head. As a child I loved to make her laugh. It was not a difficult task, my mother, for all her heartache, is a woman with a happy disposition. 

Rufus blinks his great eyes at me. “As far as I’m aware, sire, she possesses a perfectly…adequate…level of piety.” He looks to my mother for help but finds none. 

“You are going to be the death of him, Edward,” she says instead. 

My grin widens. “Come now, it was a fair question was it not?” I turn to Rufus knowing full well that he will splutter, unsure of what to say. And he does just that. “I don’t want to be stuck with a bore now do I?” 

“There are slightly more important factors to consider here my son, as I’m sure you are aware.” 

I am. Painfully so. I must marry Princess Analeigh whether she is a humourless hag or not. As with my mother and father, the alliance is a good one, and we are too weak to survive without it right now. Still, knowing all this, I cannot help but hesitate, especially when I see my father’s handwriting on the pages before me. He orchestrated the match, wrote most of the contract himself. But however unconcerned I may appear on the outside, I have spent hours pouring over these words and, grudgingly, I can find no fault in them. 

I sigh, resigned, stretching out my hand and dipping my quill in ink. 

“You’ll sign?” Rufus sounds half-relieved and half-shocked. Clearly he expected me to be more trouble. I try to hide my amusement. I know that my reputation is that of a scoundrel. A spoiled youth who drinks and gambles and whores. They think me ignorant. They think me incapable—the great men who have gathered in this court over the years. I don’t mind. Let them underestimate me. It will make it all the easier to knock them down.

My hand hovers over the parchment, the quill threatening to drip. I look back up at my mother, she is all in black, in mourning. It doesn’t suit her. Even in death my father is controlling us. What we wear. Who we marry. 

“This is the last time,” I don’t know why I say it out loud. I suppose to make the promise feel more real. He will not pull our strings again.

“The last time, your majesty?” Rufus asks, looking between us in utter confusion. 

My attention is not on him though, my eyes locked with my mother’s. She does not even flinch. 

“Yes,” she says, knowingly. “The last time.” 

I nod, returning to the contract while Rufus’s distress continues to mount. He has missed something, he knows it, and he does not like it. Finally, I let the quill touch the parchment, my hand moving swiftly along the familiar path of my name. 

“There,” I say, feeling the opposite of relief as I lean back in my chair and push it away from me. “It’s done.” 

Not my best line, I’ll admit it, and not even true. This is only the beginning. For a moment I think I catch a glimpse of my father hovering in the corner of the room—just the tail of his robes as he storms out the door, followed by the grizzled noise of his laugh. In my memories he is always old—old and bitter. I swallow, blinking the ghost out of my eyes as I sit up straighter. I do not know if I will make a better king, but gods, I hope I make a better man. 

“Excellent,” Rufus mutters, gathering up the papers. “Excellent, excellent, I’ll deliver these to the envoy and then things can proceed.” He slides from the wooden chair, the table nearly as high as his chest and when he bows his upper half disappears completely. 

“Your majesty,” he says as he re-emerges, “with your leave…” he looks towards the door. 

“Yes, of course, go about your business Rufus.” He starts backing away before the words are even fully out of my mouth, moving so quickly that I am shocked he does not trip. After the door closes we sit in silence, my mother with her eyes on me and me with my eyes on the far wall. 

“You look worried.” 

I snort. “Do I? Oh dear, I hope I don’t start to wrinkle.” 

She smiles, but I can tell she will not be so easily placated. “Edward?” 

“Mother.” 

She arches her brow, she has the incredible ability to look at you so thoroughly you feel your skin has been taken off and your insides entirely exposed. 

I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I rise and move towards the window. It is beautiful today—spring has come and the gardens are in full bloom. How I wish I was out hunting instead of caged up in here signing away my life. 

“The church will not be happy,” I say finally. 

“The church?” my mother responds after a brief pause, “Or Addison?”

“Is there a difference?” 

Another pause. I bring my finger up to the glass and begin to trace along the lines. My family’s crest has been meticulously woven through every inch of the palace, the windows no exception. 

“He agreed to the match,” my mother says finally. 

“Yes, but he will not be pleased that I signed it without him.” 

“No,” and I think I hear the slightest hint of amusement in her voice, “he will not.” 

In the last few years of his life, my father had a change of heart in terms of religion. Since before memory the people of Presado have prayed to the Solistic Church. A religion which believes the world was created by four gods who were masters of the elements. Ignis was always my favourite, the god of fire, who watched over battles and was considered the most clever of the four. I still pray to him, though my father’s laws forbid it. The laws that are now my own. 

The trouble really began with his last campaign in the North where a large clan of nomads have claimed territory. My father dreamed of being a conquerer King, dreamed of reclaiming the deserted northern territories from the barbarians. But this turned out to be far more difficult than he expected. 

He returned from the first campaign with only a third of his men, most of whom were injured. Things did not improve from there. After five years of loses and increased violence on the border—for the nomads had begun burning the keeps of the northern lords in retaliation—the nobles pushed back. We’re done, they declared, we will send you no more support, no more troops, no more gold. They were not willing to be wiped out for the sake of one man’s glory. Even if that man was the king. 

My father responded in the only way he knew how—with violence. Executions. Most heavily levied in the North, for they were the loudest denouncers of the war, being the ones closest to the fighting. There was peace with the nomads before, the would argue, can we not return to that? So, of course, my father hung their commanders, their sons, and, sometimes, the lords themselves. In truth, we were on the brink of a civil war when Addison appeared. No one is quite sure where he came from, there had been whispers for a few years about a counter religion but no one put much store in it. Then one day he was here, at my father’s side. He promised men and money, all he wanted in return was a reformation. My father agreed. After all, what had the old gods done for him?

“Edward?” 

I jump at the sound of my name, but I don’t turn around. My fingers still pressed to the glass in front of me, through the coloured panes I can just make out the green grass and manicured trees. 

“Mother.” 

I know the face she’s making even without looking at her. Calm, refined, but with worry in her eyes. And sadness. I sometimes wonder if he put that there, my father, if before him she was all light. I hope that now that he’s gone she will be again. 

“You cannot solve all the worlds problems in a single afternoon my son.” 

I nod as I hear her rise, feel her hand squeeze my shoulder as she passes by on her way to the door. 

“I’m not trying to solve the world’s problems,” I say as I hear it close, “just ours.” 

[memeticsdivision]

a while back, i did the oc duo ask game in my friend discord server, so i thought i’d post them here since the answers are interesting and gives a better look into the moratorium crews dynamics and characterization . enjoy

CERNUNNOS ABOUT FENRIS

What's their best trait?

"HIS ABILITY TO DIE."

What's their worst trait?

“DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HERE FOR HOURS? BECAUSE I'D LOVE TO GO DOWN THE LIST, BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO. SO LETS JUST KEEP IT AT THIS; HIS INABILITY TO DIE."

Are they a good person?

"HA. HAHA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE ASKING ME THAT? LOOK IN THE MIRROR ONCE AND A WHILE, IF THE PERSON LOOKING BACK AT YOU IS ME, THEN CHANCES ARE YOU'RE THE REAL MONSTER."

Do you really know them?

"BETTER THAN HE KNOWS HIMSELF, I'LL TELL YOU THAT."

What are they to you?

"A REMINDER OF MY PERSISTENT TORMENT." (translation: “Possibly the only person who could ever understand me, but he created me out of loathing of the idea of me, wanting me dead but forcing me to live anyway. That first part is therefore muddled by bitterness and I refuse to ever admit it.”

What are you to them?

"BY DEFINITION? A SHADOW. IN REALITY? HIS WORST NIGHTMARE."

What animal do they most remind you of?

"A SHITTY LITTLE COCKROACH WHO GOT RUN OVER AND IS DRAGGING ITS GUTS ALONG THE ROAD TOO STUBBORN TO LAY DOWN AND ROT."

Are they your type?

"OH, YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY, DON’T YOU."

What's their greatest fear?

"ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? LOOK AROUND; LOOK AT ME! THE FEAR IS THE LIE. THE FEAR IS THE TRUTH OF EXISTING IN A WORLD SURROUNDED BY SHIT HE NEEDS TO DO. HIS LAZY ASS WOULD RATHER RUIN LIVES THAN FACE THE FACT HIS LIFE IS SAD AND PATHETIC AND THAT HE MADE IT THAT WAY."

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"MY BEST MEMORY WAS GUTTING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME. MY WORST IS EVERYTHING ELSE."

How long have you known each other?

"A LONG, LONG TIME. LONGER THAN I'VE EVEN BEEN A PERSON. I'VE EXISTED IN THAT MORONS BRAIN SINCE THE FIRST MOMENT HE EVER HATED HIMSELF, SINCE HIS FIRST BAD MEMORY. I WAS JUST THE FIRST TO REALIZE IT."

How has your relationship changed recently?

"CHANGED? NOTHING'S CHANGED. I'M SURE ANY MINUTE NOW HE'LL FIRE THAT LAST SHOT INTO HIS THICK SKULL, AND IF NOT I'LL DO IT MYSELF. AFTER I'VE HAD SOME FUN."

Are they a good leader?

"OH SURE. IF YOU NEED A GUIDE ON HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AS A SAD AND PATHETIC LITTLE EXISTENCE, OR NOT LIVE A LIFE AT ALL. HE WOULD BE A GREAT TEACHER IF YOU WANT AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO BE A TERRIBLE PERSON."

——————

FENRIS ABOUT CERNUNNOS

What's their best trait?

"Do I have to answer that?"

What's their worst trait?

"I don't like anything of what I see in them." (translation: "I don't like that they remind me of myself.")

Are they a good person?

"No—I mean, I don't know? No. No they aren't." (translation: “I cannot answer this question truthfully because I doubt if I’m a good person, and if they are me and are bad, then I don’t know what that says about me. Maybe they are better than I am, because they chose a way to live. I didn’t.”)

Do you really know them?

"...No, but they get very predictable at some point."

What are they to you?

"An accident." (translation: “An ugly reminder of parts of myself I hate, that I try to pretend doesn’t exist, but Cernunnos’ existence is a rather direct reminder of it. To cope with that I assign cernunnos the role of the monster, despite what that says about me in return, one who’s existence is a mistake, because if they are a mistake and accident then they could not possibly reflect on me, and I have to kill them.” …which is exactly why he can’t.)

What are you to them?

"An easy scapegoat for all of their problems, I guess."

What animal do they most remind you of?

"To me, they are an animal."

Are they your type?

"I... what?”

What's their greatest fear?

"I guess... living? But they're based on me, so... we'd probably fear the same things."

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"...I don't think I have any good memories with them. When we met was probably the worst. When they killed me is the second option.”

How long have you known each other?

"I couldn't tell you." (translation: “Cernunnos told me they existed long before they had a body, and they were only made real because of my self hatred that has existed my whole life. I don’t know if we have known each other forever, or from the moment they first showed up in my dreams.”)

How has your relationship changed recently?

"I'm not as scared of them as I used to be. The tricks got old the second I stopped caring."

Are they a good leader?

"...No. I think they’d try, to prove a point, but fail.”

——————

MOR ABOUT FENRIS

What's their best trait?

"Oh, what isn’t? He’s wonderful, really. I’m so proud that he exists at all.”

What's their worst trait?

"Hmm. I do wish he wouldn’t push me away. He needs me, after all, he just doesn’t like to admit it sometimes.”

Are they a good person?

“Hmph. The need to push moral definitions onto people is such a tediously useless endeavor. He’s doing his best, he just doesn’t know what that really means, and so he makes countless mistakes that really, get him nowhere. Thankfully, I know whats best. For him and us.”

Do you really know them?

"Very much so! I’m his mother, I made and raised him, nobody knows him better than me, which is why I know what is best for him, because he doesn’t."

What are they to you?

"Fenris is my son, my greatest joy and achievement. I love him very, very much.”

What are you to them?

"I’m his mother, can’t you tell? I’m someone he can always rely on for love and support. I wasn’t then, but I certainly am now. I’ve worked hard to be that, and I need to keep things that way.”

What animal do they most remind you of?

"Whatever animal he would want to be compared to!"

Are they your type?

"That is my child."

What's their greatest fear?

"Being alone, being the monster Cernunnos claims he is, being abandoned. He fears many things, the poor boy. He fears the way reality is constantly all around him, and how at any moment, he might change something and do something bad. He doesn’t want to be hurt, and he doesn’t want to be responsible for hurting someone again. But most of all, he’s afraid that it’ll be confirmed that he doesn’t deserve to exist, that the world would be better off without him, and that he’s been wasting his time trying to live in it. Sad, but sometimes, our greatest fears are of the truth.”

What's your best memory with them? Worst?

"Oh, all of them are dear to me. But the moment he was born is especially close to me. It was the first moment I loved him, and the moment I was so happy to be his mother. But… I do regret the night I died. Very much so. I said so many awful things to him, and they were the last things he ever heard from me. I hurt him so deeply that night, and it was the culmination of all of the terrible things I’d done to him over the years. Sometimes, that guilt overwhelms me. But I’ll be better this time.”

How long have you known each other?

"His whole life, of course! I’m his mother after all. I wish I didn’t have to be separated from him for five years, but we’re together again now. And I won’t let anything take him away from me.”

How has your relationship changed recently?

"It’s certainly more positive than my previous incarnation. He’s more willing to open up to me, and comes to me more often for safety. I’m relieved my efforts have paid off.”

Are they a good leader?

"I would say yes, but I don’t think he’d be comfortable, and he shouldn’t have to do things he wouldn’t be comfortable doing. Besides, I don’t trust anyone not to just be using him."

[entomolog-t]

Hey! I’ve been a fan of G/T content for quite a while, but I’ve mostly stuck to Deviantart&Wattpad. Pretty recently I decided to create a Tumblr account in an attempt to find more content, and I’ve been amazed by how interactive the community is here! However, I noticed something that I find pretty weird, and just wanted to get an opinion from someone who seems to be a pretty active member of the community, at least from what I’ve seen.

In all the posts I’ve seen, I’ve never seen VR mentioned even once. I might just not be looking in the right place, but I just found it weird. I’ve been an avid VRChat player for a while, and having spent a large amount of time there I noticed the potential it holds for genres like G/T. I was expecting to find at least a single mention of it somewhere here, but I never have. I see lots of posts from both sides of G/T that mention something like, “I really wish I could just hold/be held by someone, etc.” and, well, I’ve had experiences like that. I’ve fallen asleep and woken up in a friend’s hands before. I’ve had friends sitting/standing on my shoulder. They don’t even know this community exists, these interactions just happen naturally. 

I just want to share some of the experiences I’ve had, and when I went looking, nobody here seemed to know it was even possible. So yeah, that’s what finally motivated me to interact directly with the community. To at least let someone know that it is possible, and far more accessible than most seem to realize.

I’ll also make a standard post, but considering the fact that I’m a very new account I don’t expect many to see it. Thus why I messaged directly. I know this was a bit of a ramble, I'm still a little nervous about finally interacting with something I've only passively watched for quite a long time. So thanks for taking the time to read through, and I’d love to hear your opinion on why it isn’t mentioned, or anything else you wanna say! Take care out there!

OH! This is quite the interesting ask!! I may not be the best person to answer as I am far from techie.

First off, that sounds incredibly fun! I've only ever tried VR with an escape room - which oddly enough had a silly sizey experience; There was an issue with the calibration or something on one of the headsets and a friend who's just a little over 5ft had their in game avatar show up ballpark around 7ft tall.

I love that g/t seems to happen naturally with your interactions too! I'd love to hear more!

Now for the meat of the question- why isn't this mentioned? Again, keep in mind, I'm no techie or avid gamer so this is really biased towards myself. In no particular order,

Age

Price point

Tech Difficulty

Privacy

Missing sensations

My first guest would be age. I myself am in my mid/late twenties, and just never really grew up with that kind of tech, so theres just a lack of knowledge and not more than a passing interest in it. I think with age there also comes issues with free time, though I'll speak on that more with privacy. I think in general there tends to be a perception that VR chat rooms have a lot of minors (whether this is true or not, I have no clue, but as an adult that is a concern).

My second guess would be price point. Now, again, I am not a tech wiz, so I really don't know too well what would be a good headset (if any ol' cheap one would work, or if the oculus is the way to go), but I know the well known headsets are not at all cheap, and do also require a something to run them on (from my understanding thats just a good enough gaming pc? I have no clue.) Basically, there is a monetary component at play.

Thirdly would be tech difficulty. Some people are just bad at technology, and don't want to learn a new form of it.

Now privacy is what I would think is a big factor- and not online privacy. Roommates, siblings, spouses, family- if someone lives with another person they may not be comfortable being seen interacting on VRchat (especially with how paranoid some of us get with g/t), and then finding alone time is just an absolute pain with work, school, clubs, responsibilities etc.

Lastly, I think some people are hesitant about the missing sensations. Essentially, "who cares if all I can do is see it, I want to feel it." I think for some people it may have the opposite effect, and the degree of realism mixed with the very obviously "not real" cues could be more upsetting- being so close to having something you fantasize about but being reminded its not actually real.

Those are just my thoughts- and I hope others will add some of their own! This is quite the interesting topic and I'd love to hear more about it! As I mentioned earlier, I have very limited experience with VR, but from what little experience I did have it was a ton of fun! I feel like VRchat could be something a lot of people in the community could enjoy if they knew more/had access to it.

[colliehollie]

13 and 30 for Barret and Chandra in the ask game.

>:)

13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?

For Chandra, sorta yes. i have art that i will post soon for gtober that introduces the character Sköll.

Sköll is the monster that ambushed her village. i based it off of the character from norse mythology of the same name: a wolf who pursues the sun and the moon alongside its brother, Hati.

in my story, the sun and the moon are gods who created fairies in their image. so that is why the wolves go after their villages.

after the ambush, Chandra escapes and goes on a journey to become stronger so she can regain vengeance for her people. so, yeah, i guess you could say Sköll is her rival even though it’s not like another person, but a monster.

for barret, i’m not sure. i bet he has a lot of enemies but not a “rival” you could say. he thinks so high of himself i don’t think he would be able to consider anybody on the same level as him, enough to let it be called a rivalry at least. (even though he’s not that strong).

but if anyone were to ever threaten his power as a soul-dealer i think there would be problems. i might make a character like that soon since i have actually been conceptualizing one for a while.

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

hehehe… this made me truly think about how difficult it is for my characters to actually get along with others. like- barret is too stuck-up to have anybody who respects themselves enough to be friends with him. chandra is actually really withdrawn from society and is rarely seen around people she’s not close to. but in a world where they actually managed not to scare off other people being absolute dorks, our OC’s friendship would be so funny to me.

barret would be baffled at the size of a real giant. his ego would crumble at the thought of somebody picking him up or crushing him with ease. but after realizing Andrew probably doesn’t want to fight, he’d lighten up a little. the constant teasing wouldn’t let up tho.

“how’s the weather up there, big guy?”

“wow, what’d your parents feed you?”

“do you live at the top of a giant beanstalk?”

he’d actually like to show his battle skills to Maya. he’d probably think her guns are cool, seeing as how advanced guns don’t exist yet in this universe.

chandra would be absolutely terrified of Andrew, and wary of Maya too as she is of all people, especially non-fairies. but i’m sure they’d be able to find a common interest. especially in exploration and wanting to know more about the world or nature. i bet they would have a lot to talk about regarding their larger buddies as well lmao.

[twisted-tales-told]

🔥 ??

This ask game

On a completely unrelated note

Anyone on marauders TikTok at this point I simply do not trust. I don’t like your vibe. Your existence irritates me and I can’t wait for life to knock u off your high horse a bit. Not like a lot, but enough to make you bearable to share the planet with.

People have taken the marauders fandom way too far and way too seriously and I think it should all just burn down.

Erase it all. Give it 5 years to cool off.

Also snape is not that bad?? Yall are fucking CRAZY in your hating him but hyping up Barty. Crazy. Insane. “He bullied children” well your guy tortured Frank and Alice longbottom and fucking killed people for the sake of blood purity. Therefore I challenge you to come up with a legitimate excuse and not some random fictional morale code?? Like why is that the line. Why is that your reason. “He bullied children” for gods sake do you hear yourself??

At least be creative jfc.

I think there’s a lot of nuance to Snapes story, especially with aspects of class, privilege, gender (being a white male vulnerable to extremist ideology due to upbringing and life experiences)

ALSO ITS FICTION

It’s fucking fiction. I say where the story is interesting because it’s MY blog.

Anyways this will probably be my last ever marauders post so I’m going out with a bang.

The reason there’s so many male fics is because creating characters from just a name is hard and not really in the nature of fanfiction and the only marauders era fleshed out characters are Sirius black and Remus Lupin because they’re the only ones in the Harry Potter books.

Like what yall have done creating depth in all these side characters is truly phenomenal but ohmygod the way you attack people so quickly for just writing m/m ships in this space where the only canon fleshed out characters are the men is INSANE. Thats literally what brought them here. You’re the weird one. And be weirder!’ Be weirder enough to write the W/W fanfiction with those little one fact character skeletons. I support you this is the place for that!! Stop being mean to other people and show some initiative or I will fucking fire you. With actual flames.

ALSO let people make fan films, don’t let people make fan films. Maybe it’s a scam, maybe it’s being written by criminals from their prison cells. Maybe it’s just people out here trying to do a group project like this is school. Stop. Caring. It’s none of your business.

I have never cared for cosplay, you do you boo but it’s not my thing. I do think it’s fucked up when you treat them like the character though and mess with their lives as human beings. Maybe try being normal, or pursuing a career in becoming a shitty therapist because you seem to care a whole lot about other peoples business.

Read fics because you like the summery or because you found it at 2 am in a comment section or ao3s page. Dont read fics because it’s “the it fic” right now. That’s bordering way too close to fast fashion trends and that is not allowed here. You are breaking the non-capitalist rules of our weird nerd hub.

You are not going to like the hyped up TikTok book.

Let that philosophy apply here.

Also This is not a book. It is a fanfic. Treat it like someone brought home made cookies to your doorstep. If you bite it and spit it in their face because you forgot to tell them you had a nut allergy or you wanted brownies instead it is your bad. You should have asked about the nuts, and you should say THANK YOU YOU MADE ME COOKIES.

Anyways goodbye forever marauders fandom it was fun I love all you silly little characters. I made lifelong friends, I laughed I cried I puked in my mouth a little (—meg from supernatural) but mostly you made me realize how fucking stupid it all is and fear for our future as a civilization.

[folkloristico]

I tried to restrain myself from sending half the ask game xd

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. + Marion

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Thank you for the ask!

😅 What’s a story or scene you’ve created that you’re a smidge embarrassed exists? 

Generally speaking, my first smut fic ever still haunts me to this very day, and I’m glad nobody ever knows it was written by me. Funnily enough, it’s my most popular fic ever—the power of smut, Ig? 

But related to the Winx fandom, I think the first fic ever I wrote about CoL, from Hagen’s POV. I still like most of the headcanons thrown in there and have implemented them in other WIPs, but I feel like the characterization was a bit off. I also used to find Hagen/Faragonda cute, but I really am not interested in them as a romantic pairing anymore, so there’s that, too. 

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels? 

When a character has been keeping all of their feelings crammed inside of them for a very long time, and when they can’t hold it any longer, they snap, and it’s unexpected because they’re usually so calm and collected. I see this trope usually used in romance, but it has an insane amount of power in Gen fics as well—absolutely not thinking of Daphne here. 

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 

Even though sometimes I still struggle to strike a good balance, I think I’ve gotten fairly good at describing people and places.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic? 

Not really. I wouldn’t mind that much if some people found out I write as a hobby, but I find most people tend to insist on reading your stuff and that would be a no from me because it feels way too personal.

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. + Marion 

I’m gonna borrow from your answer about Daphne and say there are so many I don’t know which one to pick.

… Let’s go with this. Marion is far more good at manipulating people that she would like to admit. Her mother was paranoid to a fault, even more than other members of the family would be—the Dominian royal family tends to be very protective of the Dragon Flame and as a result, they see potential threats where there are none. Queen Mother was no exception, and things only got worse when Marion’s father died. In her worst days, Marion still feels her mother’s voice in her own mind telling her not to trust anyone and to never show your true face to them. Oritel is swift to notice because despite not loving her at first, he’s captivated by her and spends a lot of time observing her. She’s very good at playing the court game, and she might have overestimated herself a bit when it comes to thinking she’s deceived everyone. Griffin also notices pretty swiftly, though it’s partly due to the fact that Marion dislikes her at first and so drops the mask quickly, basically telling her she’s only useful because she knows Valtor.

Daphne has taken a lot from Marion in this aspect. In my AU, she spends the last 8-ish years of her life jumping back from Domino and Andros, occasionally visiting other places as she studies to become a Nymph, and as she grows more into her own person she starts to realize just how much she’s good at manipulating people if she only wants to. This unsettles both Marion and Daphne because it’s something they’re not proud of, but the matter is mostly brushed aside and only surfaces post-SotLK. 

🤯 What’s a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Horror. I guess it’s because it’s a genre I’ve never clicked with outside of a few exceptions, so my interest in writing it is as scarce as my interest in reading about it.

Send me an ask!

[selunesdreams]

Chapter 3: Crawling Towards the Sun

Chapter from ongoing fic Forms of Imprisonment. Full story on AO3.

Pairing: Spawn Astarion (post-tadpole) x OFC

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: 18+. Violence, mention of past trauma/abuse, preexisting relationship/storyline.

----------------------------------

When Celeste leaves the following evening, the vampire is already waiting for her in the shadows, leaning against the wall of her home. The dim light of the moon outlines his body and far off lights of the city, features barely discernible in the dark. His eyes glint as she walks outside.  

“Hello, darling.” 

“You know where I live?” She groans.

With a seductive look, he casually shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not safe for beautiful women to be stumbling through the Dock Ward alone, dear.” As he takes a step away from the wall, his arms relax and fall to his sides. “I watched from a distance last night to ensure you made it home safely. After all, I prefer to be the only creature stalking you in the dark.” He smirks, taking his time to walk in a half circle around her, his eyes roving her body, before adding, “You look quite lovely this evening.”

“Thank you, but I don’t need a chaperone.”

“My dear, you are the most sullen devotee of Selûne I’ve ever encountered.” Astarion gives her a mocking pout. “Won’t you humor me?” 

“I need to get some work done tonight.” 

“Such a hard worker.” He sucks his teeth. “As it happens, I have some business at the library myself, and I could really use the assistance of a rather gloomy friend of mine…” 

“What business could you possibly have there? You’ve sulked there all week, pulling out necromancy texts and making a mess of the histories sections…you’re all over the place. What are you up to? Because if you ask me, it seems like you’re searching for some very dark magic.”

Astarion lets out a sharp laugh.

“You’ve been reading over my shoulder? Quite rude…” When he extends his arm towards her, she dismisses the gesture and starts towards the library on her own. He nonchalantly shrugs, effortlessly falling into step beside her. 

“I’ve been…searching for something I caught wind of back in Baldur’s Gate. Something to ease a symptom of my…condition.” he says reluctantly. She comes to a halt and locks eyes with him.

“You’re looking for a cure for vampirism?”

“What? Hells, no!” Astarion gestures dramatically. “I’m not giving up immortality just to die from the first tavern brawl I get into. I just want immunity from the sun.” 

“Astarion, there’s nothing in existence that could do that for you. It would be easier to cure you than for you to stand in the sun without consequence. That would upset the balance of nature itself. If you were immune to the sun, you’d be far more powerful than most beings.” 

“That’s the point, dear. Well, that, and…” his voice trails off for a moment. “Look, I just want to stand in the damn sun! Is that so much to ask? Can’t you send up a prayer to your moonmaiden and see if she can do something?” he asks irritably. Celestia scoffs. 

“Ask Selûne, the goddess of the moon, to grant a vampire immunity to the sun?” she raises an eyebrow. “Ask her to create an advantage for a being she created my kind to kill? You think she’s going to just hand over that kind of power to you?” A flicker of darkness passes over Astarion’s eyes, and Celeste realizes she may have said something terrible.

“Well, pardon me. With all your talk of redemption last night, I hadn’t realized you thought of me as such a monster. You’ll have to forgive me if I hold little stock in the balance of nature,” he sneers. 

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“Of course, darling, I understand.” He doesn’t hide his sarcasm. “What’s it even to you if I became too powerful? Afraid I’ll turn on you?” Astarion takes a step closer to her, his eyes gleaming malevolently, attempting to unsettle her. 

“I hadn’t considered that. I was more preoccupied with the idea that anything that could grant you that kind of power would likely come with a cost…or conditions.” 

She stiffens but doesn’t move as he caresses her cheek with his thumb, leaning forward and murmuring into her ear. “I assure you, darling, I will not harm you.” Celeste feels him smile as his lips brush against her ear. “I’m more likely to kiss you again,” he taunts. 

Stepping back sharply, she locks eyes with him and shoots him a withering glare. He’s provoking her, but she refuses to let it affect her.  

“Look…I don’t know what kind of magic or artifact you heard of that can grant you immunity to the sun, but it doesn’t exist. You’d be absolutely lethal.”

“When that damned tadpole was in my brain, my existence under the sun didn’t have any negative consequences for anyone. I didn’t seek to conquer or destroy the city. I fucking helped save it!” His voice becomes more heated. 

“The very nature of that tadpole was chaos. The Absolute nearly destroyed an entire city. You’re telling me you didn’t have an edge on nearly everyone? That you didn’t kill a single innocent soul?”

He narrows his eyes at her. “Oh, come off it. No one is entirely innocent.” 

“So you can’t think of anyone you killed who didn’t deserve it?” she presses. Astarion lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Well, there was this Gur I stabbed in the eye…” He glances to the side, “but he was hunting me! He sought to return me to Cazador. It was self defense!”

“But you didn’t even consider an alternative?”

“What alternative? Was I supposed to buy him a drink and find common ground with a monster hunter? No dear, I’m not in the business of taking a chance on peaceful resolution when violence is the easier answer.” She raises an eyebrow, as if to suggest he’s proved her point. He gives her a scornful look. 

“So, this is my reward? A lifetime of darkness and isolation after centuries of torture and imprisonment?” he becomes more flustered. “What balance is there to upset? I just want to watch the sunrise without burning alive. I have not known warmth in…” his voice falters and he shifts his gaze away from her. As her chest tightens, her demeanor softens.

“You could get way in over your head…” she warns.

He scowls. “I’ll worry about that when I have to. Right now, I just need to find out if it even exists. Will you help me? Or am I too monstrous for your taste?”

“I’ll help you.” She says in a resigned voice. “And I never said you were a…monster. We’re not so different. Besides, I still forget about the…fangs.”

He’s so surprised by her offer, he ignores her musings. He holds her gaze in surprise before his eyelids lower. 

“I…thank you.” He mumbles. He reaches out for her hand and pulls it towards him, clasping his other hand on top of it.

“I…need to go to work.” She glances off toward the library. He releases her hands and takes a step back. 

“Of course.” His demeanor was much softer and no longer calculating. “I’ll see you later?” He asks. She nods and gives a weak smile. 

“Sure, later.”  

As she walks away, she feels his eyes following her, but resists the temptation to turn back around. When she leaves, Astarion wanders off to the Blushing Nymph to drink alone and burn off his moodiness. 

When Celeste reaches the library, she finds Anders, an older, tall, balding human man with an imposing presence in the library’s back room. He looks cross with her. 

“Celestria.” He says in an authoritative voice.

She shrinks a bit. “Anders…hi.”

“Didn’t see you yesterday.” His tone is disapproving as he stands from his desk, towering over her as he approaches. 

“I know I…had a personal thing come up.”

“A personal thing?” Anders repeats, his expression unchanging as he looks her over. He is not a friendly man, and he’s never been much for small talk. He keeps his expression flat while he waits for her to elaborate.

She clears her throat. “Um, you know-”

He cuts her off, holding up his hand. “I’m not interested. Just finish your work.” He says, “I’m heading home for the evening.”

“Certainly. Have a good evening.” She can feel his eyes trailing over her body in a way that makes her stomach turn. Once he exits the library, the tension eases from her and she sighs in relief. 

The library becomes a vacant and peaceful place as the hours pass. With nothing else to occupy her attention, Celeste becomes focused on her work. As midnight approaches, a cautious knock against the wooden doorway catches her attention. Astarion leans against the frame. 

“I was hoping you would still be here. May I come in?” he asks, grinning at her. 

“You already have a pass. I assume that’s enough of an invitation for a vampire.” She says, scrawling a quick note before looking up at him.

“Fantastic. So what are you working on? Anything exciting?” His voice carries a mischievous tone, his sour mood from earlier appearing to have dissipated. 

“Religious journals.” She says, unamused. “Not my favorite.” 

He appears beside her and leans over the table she’s sitting at. “I’m surprised a Selûnite finds religious texts so daunting.”

“Not all of them, but the personal journals of the devout rarely offer much excitement.”

“They lack imagination.” He watches her work for a moment before flicking her book shut. She casts him an annoyed glance and reaches for the next book in the stack. As she touches it, she flinches as she feels a sharp sting. She jumps to her feet with a hiss, stumbling into him. 

“Ow!”

He reaches out and steadies her as she’s pressed against him. 

“Careful darling.” He warns in a sultry voice, his hands drifting down her shoulders. “It appears your book doesn’t want to be touched. Perhaps you have a few things in common…” 

She doesn’t respond to his teasing, only stares at the book, bewildered. “I…it burned me.”

“Let me see,” Astarion turns her around and pulls her hand towards him. His thumb traces her palm carefully, searching for any evidence of injury, but he can’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“I felt it.” She insists when his expression turns doubtful. 

Astarion reaches for the book, anticipating a similar reaction from it, but no pain ever comes. He picks it up, taking it into his hands and inspecting it as he flips it over in his hands. “It feels... normal.” He shrugs, glancing up at her, his lips curling upward with amusement. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I swear.” She says, “I’m not mistaken.”  

He nods. “I believe you. Does it still hurt, now that you’ve removed your hand?”

“No, it’s…gone.” She says, confused. 

He presses the book against the bare flesh of her forearm and she yelps. A mischievous grin spreads on his face.

“Apologies. Testing a hypothesis,” he says, showing her the spine of the book. 

Sharran Devotions. 

Her eyes widen. “Shar… ” she says. “Do you think…?” Astarion cocks his head to the side as he opens the book, flipping through a few pages. 

“Shar punishing a chosen of Selûne. How poetic,” he says, pensive. “Are you an enemy of Shar, or does she just not care for you?” He folds the book closed with both hands, eliciting a sharp snap.

“I am, technically. My people died on Shar’s orders. The night the Sharrans ambushed us…they didn’t just kill us, they…brutalized everyone.” 

“Killed us? You seem very much alive to me,” he observes.

“I watched them kill my parents in front of me.” her eyes are distant as she speaks. “They tried to protect me, to hide me. One of the Sharran men…” her voice trails off, despite carrying no shame. She feels uncomfortable naming it. 

The vampire’s expression darkens, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “Go on, my dear. Speak it, say it all.”

She draws a slow breath, looking up at the ceiling, trying to gather her words.

“I had to stare at the lifeless bodies of everyone I loved the entire time. Afterwards…he slit my throat. And just left me there for what felt like hours, bleeding out and choking on my own blood. Eventually, everything just…went white.”

Astarion’s own dark history typically leaves him apathetic to the misfortune of others, but now and then, someone’s suffering gets to him. As she describes the horrors she endured, his stomach tightens in revulsion and…perhaps empathy. 

“The Sharrans executed every single Moonborn that night. Everyone I ever knew,” she continues, “and yet, Selûne pitied me for being caught in the crosshairs of she and her sister’s war. A war she created the Moonborn to fight to begin with.” Celeste almost looks through him as she speaks.

Astarion hangs on every word. “So she saved you? Allowed you to cheat death?”

“It was like she injected the entire power of the Moonborn into me. As if every dead Moonborn’s magic and long lifespan became my own. I’m…not invincible, but I won’t die easily or of natural causes - much like you. And nature’s balance dooms me to only thrive under Selûne’s light, under the moon. I won’t burst into flames in the sun like you, but…it makes me sick. Vulnerable. So I am doomed to the shadows forever, or at least several lifetimes. A blessing and a curse, but Selûne wasn’t about to give up the last of her Moonborn. She would not lose another battle to Shar.”

“So all that talk earlier about nature’s balance and me walking in the sun…” Astarion’s voice trails off. “How fitting that I would come to you if all people, seeking something you yourself can hardly enjoy.” 

She nods. “That book…burning me. I worry Shar is lashing out.”

Astarion’s mouth forms a line. “She is a cruel goddess,” the vampire says. “And she would want no one escaping her grasp. She has always been the more malevolent of the two, a goddess of darkness and loss. Your survival likely offends her. But why now?”

“I don’t know.” Celeste shifts uncomfortably, as if there’s something she’s not telling him, but he doesn’t press her further. He unravels everyone’s secrets in time. 

“Are you familiar with the House of Grief?” Astarion asks her slowly. 

“In Baldur’s Gate? The Shar worshippers’ not-so-secret little cloister?” she remarks, ‘Yes, I’ve heard of it.” 

Astarion straightens himself a bit, looking away from her, as he recalls the chaos he and his companions wrought on the place months ago - the bodies scattered about, the stench of carrion - all to save Shadowheart, only for Shar to kill her parents right in front of her. 

“It’s…no longer what it once was, I assure you.” His jaw clenches. Celeste gives him a questioning look, and he holds her gaze, deliberating something, before he speaks again. 

“There’s someone I think you should meet.”

[boopernatural]

Thoughts on the last of us part 2?

Omg… you have no idea what you’re walking into anon…

It is far and wide the most impactful game I’ve ever played.

There is a lot of criteria in which I could judge it and you asked and I have the day off so…

Firstly, the gameplay!

In my opinion, the gameplay in this is some of the smoothest, most fun of any game. Just like the first game, the transition from cutscene to gameplay is so fucking seamless I was sometimes taking a minute to realize I was in control again. The vast map and wide variety of controls you have over the character to me is incredible! Playing as Ellie is my favorite, she moves so fluidly and the jumping, climbing, ducking, crawling all of it feels so natural and immerses you so much. The highest difficulty I’ve beaten it on is hard so I can’t speak to the grounded or survivor challenge, but for me hard was perfect balance of challenge while still being fun and not too frustrating. The fight near the end with Ellie as the boss was the hardest one for me. And the rat king was a good chase scene/fight too.

Secondly, the visuals.

Naughty Dog never disappoints me with how fucking stunning their games look. The map of Seattle is seriously an amazing feat. Even during gameplay I’m struck by the beauty of the surrounding world, just like tlou1(esp after the remaster). I play on PS5, and so the graphics are just fucking phenomenal imo. My normal gaming experience is decent quality visuals in a cutscene and then clear jumps to gameplay more focused on function. TLOU2 (and 1) doesn’t make you choose. I seriously want to shake the creatives at Naughty Dog and just thank them for all the late nights and missed family dinners they must’ve had to create such intricate and well made visuals.

Some examples of shots I just think are neat:

Thirdly, the story/character arc.

I’ll admit it. The first time I played through this game I was miserable. Joel’s death was a nightmare come true, for Ellie and me. The scene was so well crafted, the dread building up to it, everything. Joel finally settling in and opening himself up to kindness and even heroism (in saving Abby) was his fucking demise. I don’t know what that says but… well, that’s what happened.

I was able to shelve my grief and enjoy the Seattle bits with Ellie and Dina because like her, I wanted those fuckers dead. The drama between Ellie, Dina and Jesse somewhat mirroring Mel Owen and Abby was interesting, but I felt our Jackson trio was much kinder to each other and healthier and would have worked it out a lot better. Jesse dying was so unfair.

The flashback scenes with Joel broke me. The entire museum arc… god. I’ve never played a video game that devotes an entire chapter to gameplay of something mundane and fun, no threats, no fights, the only interaction is climbing a big t-Rex or spinning a planet diagram. The dialogue is amazing, shows how comfortable they are with one another and that they’re really operating like a father and daughter. Things weren’t all doom and gloom. Joel getting her the tape, encouraging her to wear the helmet and close her eyes and Ellie being fully immersed into this fantasy (similar to what Riley does for her in the DLC with the arcade game!) I just love that the people who love Ellie foster and groom her creativity and imagination.

Ellie was trying so hard to ignore the lie between them, to pretend things were okay, and sometimes she could. Sometimes she forgot that this horrible thing existed underneath the surface.

But of course, it festers and rots when it’s untouched. The finding strings portion was amazing. Joel was OP as hell and I like that the game really shows how nothing will stop him from keeping his girl safe. He fucking kills a bloater with a machete and doesn’t get hit once. Unheard of?! The ending sequence where she confronts him was hard to watch. You feel what both of them are feeling and are somehow rooting for both of them to not have to address this pain.

Ellie returning to the firefly hospital… Joel racing after her, pulling her in for this hug like they’ve done it plenty before, you talk to me…

The devastation in both of their faces when the truth does come out. They both want so badly for this thing not to be here. For everything to be okay.

Then, you get to the theater. Abby is there. I’m thinking: I’ve reached the end! Let’s fucking kill her.

And then….3 years earlier.

I was angry, actually. I did not want to redo these three days as this character I despise! Even though Abby had great gameplay and some awesome fights that were really fun, I found myself just waiting for it to end. I was like game, this bitch killed Joel, sorry but I don’t care about her or her people.

The Tommy sniper bits were amazing and made that all feel worthwhile. Seeing him on the warpath to avenge his brother, and seeing his real darkness through all the evidence he left behind was amazing.

I liked the storyline with Lev and Yara, didn’t like the Owen/Abby abrupt back shots scene. Felt like a very NSFW siblings or dating moment. Not an Owen fan one bit! Felt bad for Mel, even though I didn’t like her as a person. Felt worse for Ellie when she realized what she’d done to her.

Then, finally got back to Ellie at the farm. I was pleading right alongside Dina for her not to go. Joel would have wanted this for her, this safe quiet life with her family. Everything would still be worth it to him if she stayed. He would have fulfilled his purpose. To give Ellie a life.

And then she fucking leaves…even though I knew she would, I was devastated for my Ellie. All I’ve ever wanted since I saw that lil switchblade-wielding lunatic is for her to be safe and happy. But it is in character for her to get in her own way.

Santa Barbara was fun, the Rattlers made me full of rage bc they were so difficult lol but a super unique concept and I enjoyed the play through of those parts a lot.

Ellie being the one to save Abby’s life. I love this. I am biting this I am chewing it I am swallowing it whole. I have so many thoughts on this one choice that I could write another way too long post about it.

Ellie and Abby finally have a fair fight. Even ground, both wounded and weak, both tired of all of this.

I wanted her to kill Abby. Still do, actually. I personally think… you’ve already killed hundreds of people who weren’t even the ones who directly killed Joel lol… but ok. I get what the game was trying to do. I just didn’t roll with it. That’s really my only story critique. And it’s barely a critique cause I like the ending as it is too.

Especially because, after my 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc play through, I grew to like Abby. I enjoyed her scenes and gameplay much more the second go through when I knew what to expect and where it was all going. I always thought her revenge on Joel was fair bc an eye for an eye, he’d do the same thing and Ellie did worse. But looking at her differently helped me enjoy the story more.

It would have hurt a lot more I think, to watch Ellie murder this girl I liked, and in doing so doom the little boy she’d sought to protect. Abby and Lev at the end as a mirror for Joel and Ellie in tlou1 was just… how can I make out with a concept? So. Good.

Ellie’s ending is so gut-wretching and sad I can barely even talk about it. 

She lost everything. Her biggest fear was ending up alone. Joel died before she could make things right with him, she lost Dina and Jesse and JJ and Tommy.

The flashback with Joel to the night before he died did provide me a little solace. Merely in the fact that Ellie was able to come out to him, something she was scared to do, and knew that he loved and accepted her as she was. (Honestly how could she ever doubt that?) and that he died knowing she still cared for him and wanted him in her life. I just know he must’ve spent that whole night feeling hopeful and anticipatory for the future. Fucking crushing.

When she picks up that guitar, a gift from Joel, the first bridge he rebuilt after their tenuous return to Jackson, the connection he forged between them when something unspoken was trying to pull them apart, the only way he could truly express to her how much she meant to him, and obviously a way Ellie reciprocated that…

Gone. She can no longer do the one good thing that threaded between them even after his death. And she abandons it.

She leaves the guitar there. The guitar she loved so fucking much she got the moth from it tattooed on herself forever.

I don’t know where she’s going. I’ve seen some say maybe she’s going back to Jackson to try and make things right. Unfortunately… that isn’t the interpretation I had.

I do know that this game made me feel things a video game never has. Living with these characters for so long. I felt Joel’s pain when Sarah died in the first one, and that was a sorrow that carried over into every scene of every game. I felt -viscerally- the horror and agony and pure unbridled rage at Joel’s death. I felt each misstep, each loss, each success and each surprise. These characters are not avatars to be played, they are people, and it’s fucking incredible. This story is complex and huge and sometimes really frustrating and unpleasant, and sometimes you hate it and sometimes you love it.

Neil Druckman said that whether people like his stories or hate them, as long as they’re not ambivalent, he’s done his job.

To me, Neil has done his job tenfold.

[residentdormouse]

Writing Questions Tag Game:

I was tagged by: @mrsmungus (thank you - you are the absolute best!)

No Pressure Tagging: @asirensrage , @blairsanne , @verba-writing , @scienceoftheidiot , @darsynia and please OPEN TAG - '@' me if you'd like to answer. I'd love to know!!

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

I’m honestly not sure, is that horrible? That’s probably bad… I guess I like how the ending of 'Diving' came out, although I have no outside confirmation if it worked or not. All the groups coming together, lining up the dominos individually to finally knock them down together. That said, I do know I have an all-time least favorite idea that the characters told me happened and I had no say in. I’m still pretty bitter about it. Spoilers: (Diving - chapter 31 & Diving - chapter 34)

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

I don’t think there's a particular one I’ve been hung up on, but I do keep track of all questions asked through Tumblr, and go back to visit them just as much as I do the stories themselves. I have them all listed as links on the ‘Jumping to Wonderland’ main page. Introductions, character insights, things that never really made it into the story, but certainly helped with character development. (sorry that kind of turned into a plug instead of an answer…)

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part is when a puzzle piece is revealed out of nowhere. You’re just minding your own business, vibing, doing your own thing and *bam*, brain is like ‘Hey, did you know about this…’. Then you just sit there in fascination for a week, replaying and zooming in to see the fine details. So much better than focusing on mundane daily life business.

I could do without the imposter syndrome and the sheer volume of anxiety that comes with being seen though; that can go fuck off somewhere.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Escapism, let’s be real. Plus, I really miss being creative. I went to college for theater, and really have no opportunity to put it to good use where I am in life right now. So writing a story, I get to do all the things I loved when directing. Character development, scene/lighting/sound design, building a setting and shoving my characters in it. Blocking out the scene, and figuring out the beats. I miss directing…

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

I took classes in college, but never really wrote anything of substance. Only started doing fanfiction here last year when I couldn’t find any Glen love on AO3. Didn’t realize I was going to like it so much, and I ended up creating a new story for these characters that I love to get shoved into. New people for them to interact with. Now that it's wrapped, I’m left to figure out my own damn story. We’ll see how that goes I guess?

What is your favorite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can!

I have two full length chapter fics in my 'Jumping to Wonderland' series:

Something like a Spiral / Just Keep Diving Down

It's hard to separate them in my head because one picks up right after the other. Spiral started it all, but Diving has more of my concepts as opposed to slightly altering an existing story. So I guess Diving for that reason?

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

"You can't let what will be, bog you down from enjoying what is."

Not amazing, but it hit me at a time that I needed to hear it myself, so that was helpful.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

My characters or characters I write? Because fanfiction and all - there’s quite a few problematic people I’m working with. Harold has his many issues, so does Lloyd, and Flagg… well. We need some very exhaustive therapy up in this joint. As for my people, Max has many things she needs to work on… (probably why she gets on with Harold and Lloyd so well, they are all disasters, truly). Rayna is, uh, she is rigid and unwilling to see anything beyond her own beliefs. I mean, my characters all have flaws, all good characters do because people have flaws. Nobody's perfect.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

As I mentioned above, I only started writing here like a year and a half ago? I’m pretty sure younger me would be surprised I’m still hyperfixed on the same story. Usually my fix’s last a year. These characters do not want to leave my head, and honestly, I really don’t want them too… Love these guys.

[wisteriasakana]

You know that indescribable emotion of getting to work seriously on your game projects and seeing Unlimited Bug Works and plot downtimes blossom here and there? I think it's still a positive thing, because it means that you're really working on your projects!

In case your answer was "no", I don't care, I know you crave to know what's going on behind the scenes, so I'll tell you anyway.

Welcome to "Soe does devlog", an occasional release of a completely random series.

Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf

Run run ruuuuun!

I completed the English translation of the game's current build in early March. That means that about 95% of the total game is translated, I just have to… like… finish the game.

And it was at this point that I finally realized what The Problem was: the last area before the endings didn't quite convinced me. The gameplay was non-existent (You had to check 20+ things mechanically, all in a dark map with running disabled. Exciting, isn't it?) and the dialogues were also quite weak.

What a cute place! What could possibly go wrong? Well, nothing, because it's a boring place!

So, I decided to tear down that section and do it all over again.

At the moment I've fixed the dialogues, improved the map and re-enabled the run. Disabling it was my attempt at creating some sort of atmosphere, but I thought that if I found it in a game, I wouldn't think at it as atmospheric but as annoying.

What I'm missing is not exactly a "gameplay", rather finding a good way for the player to interact with the story in that specific area. (Best explanation ever!) At that point, the game went through a rather long cutscene, albeit with choices, and immediately after that the endings split up: I don't want that point to feel like a stagnant moment. Not crackling or very memorable, just, I wish it wasn't "outdone" by the rest of the game.

The Night of the Candy Apple

To infinity...

There are over 100 switches for a game that can last as long as three minutes and I don't know what to think about it.

The moment I went to betatest it, I realized that I had greatly underestimated my gameplay ideas.

In The Night of the Candy Apple it's possible to explore the entire "haunted house" without completing any puzzles - Either leaving them half done, or one quarter, or three quarters. This, however, implies switch after switch for how many party members are there, to take into account what has been discovered and what has not been discovered, which cutscenes there have been, at what point in the puzzle the player has arrived. Obviously I had already put them, but I had put them for the biggest and most obvious things, I hadn't considered the details and the brief moments in which it would have been possible to leave the room without having completed it first.

Also, I've fallen into the trap of "I'm the author and I know what's supposed to be done." Heartfelt thanks to my betatester, @time-lapse-games, who pointed out many - many - things that probably would not have pleased those who are not omniscient. Maybe, after I release the game (Someday), I'll make a post with all the wtf?s. For now, I can say that there is the "puzzle where you have to recreate a room", and there were 1. two almost identical objects and therefore it was not known which one to put where 2. the possibility for the player to get stuck in the walls of the room - FOREVER.

Another funny thing is the fact that TWO puzzles, once put into practice, proved to be unfeasible.

The first one was a jigsaw puzzle. Simple. The problem is that there are no VX Ace scripts for jigsaw puzzles. I searched in English, in French, in Spanish, in Portuguese, in Japanese, in Italian, but nothing, nobody seems to know how to do jigsaw puzzles in RPG Maker VX Ace. I saw that there is a script to do this, but it doesn't have the check switch, so there's no way to let the game know that you've completed it. If anyone knows of a jigsaw puzzle script for the VX Ace that has a completion check, please let me know PLZ PLZ - They won't get anything but my gratitude, but they'll know that they are a good and merciful person. For those who were thinking that I could replace the jigsaw puzzle with a sliding puzzle, the fact is that I hate them with passion and that I would never self-inflict the pain of testing one on myself or on the betatester. (Nothing against those who love them, uh, I just find them frustrating.) In the end, I solved it by completely changing the puzzle. Easier to do, I still would have preferred the jigsaw puzzle, but I don't mind.

What will be beyond this? It will be possible to find out, because I changed the puzzle to unlock it!

The second one is in the very first "haunted house" room, which is definitely cool. The gameplay involves a series of questions and the idea was that you could stop the questions at any time and just walk away. I've tried everything, but nothing, first the questions ended and then the "leave" event happened (!). In the end, after looking at the horizon and reflecting on my life choices, I opted for a solution that may not be graphically beautiful but it's much more easy and direct.

Among other notable things was seeing that I was having difficulty with my own gameplay ideas. There was the realization that checking EVERYTHING just to see changing flavour texts would be a pain in the aXE, so I decided to put balloons to mark the different flavour texts. Along the same stuff, puzzles are supposed to be solved by a specific party member. It's something I did on purpose, I even discarded a menu I liked because it omitted the "Formation"! Well, once the cutscenes were done, I realized that I had completely forgotten about this. It took me a few minutes to put the switches and variables that were needed, but I still think about the fact that I forgot about the game features that I decided to put on purpose. I am unique and fantastic.

Red Riding Hood and the Little Bad Wolf + The Night of the Candy Apple

There are Galleries in both games, because I made CGs and I want everyone to see how good I am. Once done, I noticed that both Galleries have approximately 40 images and I realized I drew 80+ CGs in a couple of months (December-January). Not professional ones or like a cool artist who knows what they're doing, but my tools are a screenless tablet and Gimp and I think I did my best. They're not perfect, but I'm satisfied.

But why there are so many CGs? Actually, the reason is that I did it on a whim. When I play an RPG game or when I see let's plays, there can be the moment where a book is found or a story is told and often what you see on the screen is the map with 349205 dialogue boxes and that's it. Likewise, there may be Game Overs where "it's supposed to happen something". I personally don't like them. I want to show the player why the character can no longer continue, I want to give a background of some sort to what is being read or narrated. Not that I did CGs for EVERYTHING of course, sometimes I just put a picture of a letter or something like that. Until I did the Galleries, I didn't realize I drew so much. I suppose it's a good thing, somehow?

(Also, does that mean that if my mental health is good 100% of the time I'd be super productive? *Don't exaggerate, now-*)

Now I will read this book and it will last several dialogue boxes, and you will not see the map, but us! It's completely different than usual RPGs, isn't it? Isn’t it...?

And that's it, for April 2023! I hope you had a good Easter and I wish you good luck with your projects!

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*So, when you think you're going to fin-* Shut up.

[kanonavi]

hewwo tis hua on main :33 lettuce see 9, 17, 23, 31, 45, n 46 for the fic questions~

Hi Hua we are now hanging out on my blog! :3

(Hi it's me from the future crying because this is so long I can no longer justify not putting a Read More what have you done to me :sob:)

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

How can you ask me that when we’re in the Genshin fandom rn lol Jokes aside, I think that the size of the Genshin fandom is its blessing just as much as it’s its curse. Obviously it’s going to have all of the main problems that big fandoms tend to have, but the sheer number of people also means that there’s basically a guarantee that there will be other people that are creating the exact flavor of fanworks that I want to see and to create myself.

I’ve gone through highs and lows of how much fic I read for a fandom over time and I think Genshin is one of my all-time highs, but I’m pretty sure I’ve also found the most fics in Genshin that have just felt transcendent in some way to me. For a piece of media that I enjoy as much as I enjoy Genshin, I’d gladly take a large fandom that’s a bit of a clusterfuck over a tiny fandom where my thoughts and ideas don’t resonate with anything everyone else is doing. Even if it means I’m mostly off in my corner trying my best to remain blind to greater fandom trends, I’m happy in my tiny sandbox with the few friends that I share this experience with.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite?

My first OTP for Genshin was xingyun! I ended up pulling both of them very early on, and even before I read their voicelines and realized that they’re basically a textbook example of friends to lovers, I was impressed by how well they worked together in a team and based purely on that I wondered as a joke if people shipped them. So naturally I checked AO3 and Learned.

They’ve been deposed as my favorites at this point by xiaoven, but they’re still very high on my otp list, placed lovingly in my S+ tier alongside xiaoven and kazuscara. I think that I would have ended up shipping them regardless of if I pulled them both early, but I like to think they started my taste off on the right foot.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

The thing about all of my fics is that they're either for a fandom/ship that I'm kinda divorced from at this point or they were written when I was 14 in the AO3 editing box and there is little to no in between. Which then leaves my Genshin fics... of which there are only 3, since most of my writing is done for me and my friends rather than the public.

Still, if I had to pick one, it would be When Suikou Met a Little Bird, a fic that was written in a pure, brainrotted haze but still kind of escalated to more than I ever expected it to be. It was honestly kind of an experiment for me, since I wrote it in a perspective I wasn't used to (that being Xiao rather than Venti) and the story just kind of came easily in a way that writing usually doesn't for me. For that, I was really proud of how it came out and just really happy with it overall.

That, and I also based it on one of the most Mentally Ill screenshots I've ever taken in-game, which I will include for your viewing pleasure:

31. What's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about your writing?

I got a comment a few months ago on A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light, which was the fic I wrote in a brainrot haze after the Endless Suffering trailer ended my entire existence, which said that my portrayal of Xiao and Venti was the closest to canon they had ever read and that the way I "captured the essence of their love is nothing short of perfection". Needless to say, I kinda ascended thanks to that.

The way that I write characters is something that I guess I could say I'm insecure about, since characters are often the vessels for humanity to be brought forth in a work of fiction, even if the characters aren't human themselves. I hold characters in very high esteem in works of fiction, but because I spend so much time thinking about my favorite characters, I'm constantly worried that they're kinda turning to mush in my brain and becoming what I see them as rather than what they really are. Headcanons are fun and I indulge in them plenty myself, but when I never want to lose sight of who those characters are in the story they were written for when I'm creating my own stories for them.

That's kind of why the xiaoven scene in the Endless Suffering trailer was Everything to me. Their first canon interaction, and it consisted of an exchange that was comfortable, especially when compared to Xiao's interactions with other characters in the past and even in the rest of that same trailer. Then, that says nothing of the tender gazes that Venti was giving Xiao the entire time. The entire scene just proved to me that whether or not they're in love, Xiao and Venti are comfortable with each other and that much is real.

So after I took that scene and built off of it into my own thought of how the scene could continue if Xiao and Venti were lovers, and to have someone say that it matched their interaction in the trailer and that I was able to capture that essence? It means everything to me, to this day.

i feel like a narcissist to have answered that question at such length but oh well lol

45. What is your all time favorite fanfic?

There are plenty of Genshin fics which have had an impact on me (oh haha impact that wasn't even on purpose), but I feel like I have to give this to what's probably the first truly transcendent fic I ever read. It was a Persona 5 fic called Black Star, I'm pretty sure it's still one of the most read P5 fics today, which it totally deserves.

It was a kind of epilogue to the original P5 before Royal or Strikers or whatever the fuck X is supposed to be were ever conceived, and in my honest opinion Black Star did it better than any of them ever have and ever will. It's a fic that says what it means to, nothing more and nothing less, and as I look back over the past 5 years of Atlus milking the life out of this story that used to have meaning, it's so goddamn refreshing to have this author who rolled up, wrote a perfect epilogue for P5 and then nothing else for the fandom. Wherever they are, I hope they're living their best possible life.

Black Star fixed the main thing that the original P5 fucked up, which was Goro Akechi. Akechi barely had a character arc in the original, even by the standards of P5 writing, but in this fic he was able to gain redemption as well as a resolution on his complicated feelings towards Joker in a way that I don't even think Royal did as well. Full disclosure, I used to be a hardcore shuake shipper and Black Star is a gen fic, but there are plenty of fics which give Akechi resolution in a way that incorporates romantic feelings towards Joker which I also love. However, I just think Black Star is able to surpass them in certain regards because of how it actualizes Akechi in his own personhood independent of anyone else. At this point in my life cycle as a goroboy, I really just think that when Akechi is at his lowest like he is in this fic, he just needed anything, even the faintest glimmer of trust in him from someone in his life that he's able to do good even after all the wrong he's done in order for him to at least want to try. That can be given to him regardless of any kind of romance, and Black Star has always done it best.

I also just love the way it builds off of P5's world with Paranoia Syndrome and the Dead Sea in which Mementos rots. Again, it's like I said before, no official continuation of Persona 5 has ever and will ever do it better than Black Star. ...i should read it again at some point.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I am once again being made to choose between one of my three entire Genshin fics lol. But for this question I honestly feel like I have to go with A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light. It's short, but also out of my three fics I think it best demonstrates my mental state and how xiaoven exists in my brain, being rotated like a rotisserie chicken. In a way it could be kinda like my mission statement? Or like. My conceit? OH ITS LIKE MY XV COVER LETTER. i hate that metaphor, god lol

But yeah, we end with a simple answer: if you come to me for xiaoven, the xiaoven in that fic is what you're signing up for <3

[scottxlogan]

Writing Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea Thanks for the tag. We’ll see how it goes!

Doing this under the cut:

What is your absolute all-time favourite idea you’ve ever had?

My favorite idea I’ve ever had was something about time travel yet unexplored in writing. I was inspired by an outing with my sister and when it hit me my sister was like yes it’s brilliant lol, but I’ve yet to write it. I understand that’s vague but it was a fun idea. As for favorite ideas I think my favorite ideas are the ones where things just pop into my head and are silly and fun. I have so many of them that I can’t really pinpoint which one is my favorite, which is a lame response but that’s where I’m at lol.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

Probably the time that someone asked me why do you do this when no one likes you or your writing. I know that’s a TERRIBLE answer but that troll question is something that sticks out in my head and kind of guides a lot of what I do moving forward. It was just such a mean, vague question that sometimes when I’m having an off day I think about it and wonder what it’s all for but then I write something and get it out there and I think to myself that I did that. Even if no one reads it I brought something to life that wasn’t there before I put it together and that’s pretty cool. I don’t know, but that sticks out a lot.

What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part is being able to create and world build. I do a lot of fanfic but I’ve also dabbled in original fic as well and to be honest I just love the idea of watching an idea grow and flourish evolving into something that goes above and beyond my own initial ideas. It’s just fun seeing how things develop and evolve. I think that’s my favorite part of it all. I could take or leave that whole need to feel validated by statistics. All too often people get caught up in the height of likes, comments, hits, etc. It’s exhausting and it can be a self-defeating part of it all if you allow it to get inside your head and stew there. Working on something you’re proud of is such a good feeling, but allowing the self-defeating idea of not having anyone paying attention can spoil something so great you’ve accomplished and that’s the part I would totally want to put behind me.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Because when I think of my existence in the grand scheme of things that one thing that always sticks out is imagining I couldn’t write and how much that would be terrible once I’m not longer around because I love writing. Writing has gotten me through a lot of points in my life even before I realized why I needed to do it. There’s just something about that freedom writing or creating provides that just allows you to go places beyond what you thought possible.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

That it’s okay not to be perfect with what you do. I’m a perfectionist by nature so it’s hard for me to not be overly judgmental about things that I’ve done and how I could improve upon it. Whether it’s writing or art I’m always second guessing stuff and in the beginning I wish I could’ve told myself to ease up on that and just have fun. Also that there was more than the word ‘said’ as my early writing included that a lot.

What is your favourite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can!

My favorite story I’ve ever written to completion as of this point is probably a WinterIron one called  End of the Line just because this was a GIGANTIC endeavor and my very first story in fandom. I worked so hard on this one writing it entirely without the benefit of an audience through the process until it was finished and going through posting. It was just such a great experience in that kind of writing freedom that for me I see it as a great triumph in the accomplishment I made and it opened the door to a new ship for me so it was a double win!

What is your favourite out-of-the-box quote?

“I like it yeah!” (No it’s not my quote and no it’s not the best quote ever, but it holds a meaning that perhaps only a few people will understand. I would think a few people following me on my tumblr have been around long enough to know what it means, but I’ll drop a hint below). It makes me smile all the time ;-) Probably not how I was supposed to answer that but it’s what popped in my head lol

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

I’m going to roll with Scott Summers on this because it’s a mixed bag on whether people love or hate him. Scott isn’t the hip fun guy (sorry X-Men Apocalypse but you got him super wrong!) and he’s the guy who gets things done. His take charge focus on what is needed to be done makes him someone people like to complain about a lot. Anything Scott has done wrong gets put under a microscope and is put out there to support why people hate the character, but it’s just ridiculous. Scott is such a fascinating character, who with his background could’ve easily become a villain, but he’s a hero through and through and there’s something about him that really resonates with me. He doesn’t back down from a fight and does what’s right by his people even it it comes at a great risk to his personal sacrifice and well being. There’s so much about him that I love and support even if the poor guy is bad for himself in his quest to be the best leader he can be so yeah...that’s my answer.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

My younger self would be STUNNED at all the changes we’ve made since writing original horror mystery stories by hand and thinking they were really a big deal. Life has given me plenty of experiences and opportunities to grow and learn and now that I’m a bit older I don’t have the influence of others skewing what I want to create and that’s such a fun freeing feeling. I think my younger self would be surprised at how much I put out there and have fun with. Writing is an exploration of creativity and fun to be had. As a kid I think a lot of it was a coping mechanism and I grew a lot for it in my life experiences I guess.

Thanks for tagging me! This felt like a mini self-analysis lol so thanks for that. It was fun!  

Tagging: @naughtyneganjdm, @sgfic, @sammy-souffle, @chaoticgardenbread, @onekisstotakewithme, @just-fandomthings​ and really anyone who wants to take part in this. No pressure to to this but it’s here if anyone is inclined to do so :)​