#but I want more of the feelings steven universe gave me if that makes sense

[cardboxshelter]

I'm feeling nostalgic for Steven Universe lately

[bloop-bl00p]

Rewriting Vaggie because she was done dirty

Angel's backstory and my take if Vaggie was a human.

1. Angel Vaggie:

So, back in the Pilot days, I wasn’t a fan of Vaggie being an Exorcist theory. I was like, Vivienne is obliviously a decent writer, of course, she won’t do something so oblivious! The X on Vaggie’s face is because she lost her eye alive!

I was so disappointed, but I could still work with it… then I was double disappointed when the reveal had no impact on the narrative and all they gave us AMgy Charlie for one scene and fixed the conflict in one episode. 😐

That and the plot holes it created, what plot holes you ask? Well, Vaggie still speaks Spanish which means that she’s still Salvadoran but… Adam named her? Assuming everyone changes their name once they get to Heaven, why do they recruit humans to fight demons? Assuming that there’s like a whole process of giving angelic power to enforce a soul, why didn't they give to the whole army the Kamehameha rip-off Adam has? The Extermination would have been much more faster and deadly if they could just Kamehameha Pentagram Cities.

Most importantly, even if they have enhanced speed, strength, or whatever, if they are all humans, why did they think they were invincible?! Surely if they can kill sinners who are human souls, they’ll know that they can also be killed themselves? Right?! RIGHT?!

I hate the worldbuilding in this show, I hate it!! 🥲

Anyway my rewrite of Angel Vaggie, she won’t be Salvadoran and was fully created in Heaven so no Spanish.

Here’s the thing, the Exorcists were created with Adam’s ribs. A little bit of physiology here, ribs can regrow and repair even when a large a portion of it is damaged. So with Heaven's supervision, creating an army of women with Adam’s ribs was relatively a fast and painless process for the First Man.

You’ll ask me, why make them with ribs? Well, the reason why Eve was made with Adam was a reminder that God created her beside him. They complemented each other, I wanted to do something similar. Adam feels content with The Exorcists because he finally has a group of women who actually listen and are interested in him and not some random with wings. The Exorcists are entitled to Adam and feel worthless without following him around and his orders, a bit like Pearl in Steven Universe, they were created that way.

They still possess some form of autonomy and develop their own personality, not following Adam’s orders just feels odd to them. Then someone actually did it and we all know how that ended.

Whoops that must have hurted.

My take on Vaggie and Lute’s relationship ⇢ here ⇠

So, in Hell, Valtiel (I renaimed her) was totally distraught, she was scared and didn’t know what to do, she was so used to blindly following orders. Sparing this child seemed like it was the worst decision she’d ever made but it also felt right, the poor girl couldn't grasp her feelings correctly at the moment.

She managed to survive a few months in Hell by making a relatively short deal with a local gang to receive aid, in exchange, she used her fighting skills to help them steal food and survive as a whole, she did not develop any sense of belonging to the group and mostly did it for survival.

When her deal came to an end she separated herself from the gang and stayed for a long time in different disaffected buildings with other SDFs preferring to continue her path alone, she felt horribly empty, devoid of purpose without following someone.

Until she saw a star.

The Princess was trying to promote her Hotel on the street, and while Valtiel thought her project was very delusional, she accepted. The Hotel was an old establishment but it was certainly more well-kept than where she used to be, and it was free.

I’m sparing the details, they slowly fell in love and Valtiel projected the toxic dependence she had on Adam to Charlie. While the two truly love each other, Valtiel will need to learn to find herself and not depend on others to live. If she were to have her wings back, it wouldn’t angel's wings but a moth's wings. As a way to metaphorically represent the fact that she changed, like a moth.

She never told Charlie about her past.

I renaimed her Valtiel because it meant “Attendant of God” If you go search a list of angels in Christian Mythology, you’ll notice each of them has “El” as the last syllabus. It’s because “El” in Hebrew means God.

1. Human Vaggie:

Lemme do a research real quick…

Wait a minute..

… y’know. I’m starting to believe that Vivienne is just lazy, obliviously this is one of Vaggie's concepts of backstory, the famous one being that she died in 2014.

But am I the only one who sees the potential?!! Like all things are linked! It makes sense! The very militaristic attitude she had during the Redemption Exercises, the fact that she brought the cast to a war front to build their trust, jeez that’s a missed opportunity to do something that is (to me) much more interesting than a theory made by fans.

So as a good writer, I did a little research because someone had to do it since Medrano won’t, and here is what I came up with.

(If anyone sees any historical mistakes report them to me, I really don’t want to disrespect anyone and I know wars in a really difficult subject to write about. Sorry if I offended anyone.)

Her name is Vanessa she was born in 1968 in El Salvador and died in 1990. Before all of that, she and her brother Carlos were both children of war.

They were separated from their mother during the Salvadoran Civil War, the woman tried to flee with them during a fight between La Farabundo Martí National Liberation Front (FMLN, rebel group) and La Fuerza Armada de El Salvador (FAES, military) but between the gunshot and the terrified civilians, she ended up losing her kids. Vanessa from afar saw her mother getting shot and tried to run away with her brother, he was 5, and she was 12.

The two siblings were later indoctrinated to join the FAES, they never tried to escape as a means to survive since they received food and somewhat clean water, which they originally didn't have in great amounts. However, Vanessa never really supported their ideology and Carlos was too young to really understand what was happening.

The young boy was frail and relatively weak due to his age and malnutrition he only worked in the support staff which was involved in helping to maintain camp operations. Vanessa was also part of it and sticked with her brother as much as possible, but as she grew, she was used to carrying around messages between units due to her being older and stronger, which she hated, it was dangerous and she was disgusted by the idea of leaving her brother alone with these people.

The two of them were victims of SA perpetuated by the soldiers (hence why she’s so wary of men when especially violent ones). Her brother died at ten, due to the poor condition and she blamed herself for it. She eventually died by accidentally activating a booby trap, the explosion sent shrapnel flying, hitting her in the face and causing the loss of her eye she expired due to blood loss at 22.

Vanessa found herself in Hell and tried to survive for a few months both scared and disoriented. However, she still managed to somewhat be fine punching her way inside buildings to steal food and find ways to avoid sleeping outside. She renaimed herself Vaga in reference to the word Vagabundo which means vagabond.

To her, home is where she’s with her brother, without him there’s no home.

Vaga heard words of Carmilla as she started to familiarize herself with English, what she understood was that she dealt with weapons and was a gentler overlord. She eventually met her and they made a deal. It didn't involve Vaga’s soul but just 4 years of working for her, testing weapons and such. Vaga assisted the woman and trained with her daughters, she also learned English and got a better understanding of Hell’s system.

At 26 too, Vaga's deal was done and she decided to distance herself from Carmilla whose door was clearly still open if she needed help. She met Charlie on the street when the Princess was just starting her project, and since Vaga needed a place to crash in, she went in not realizing they’d catch feelings.

Vaga has signs of Complex post-traumatic stress disorder due to being a child of war. This leads her to many emotional outbursts and this feeling of emptiness when she isn't helping, at least she sees it as helping. Her whole life she only managed to survive in a hostile environment by serving others, she may not view it that way but she unconsciously believes the act of Serving is a necessity to keep her alive.

She deeply believed she failed to protect Carlos, so she projected it all on Charlie. This could lead to an interesting conflict between the two, Charlie was highly shielded from the world by her mother, and this hotel is proof that she can survive on her own (in my rewrite at least.) If her girlfriend starts acting like an overprotective parent it won’t do.

While Vaga mostly thinks redemption is impossible, she holds that small tiniest sprinkle of hope that maybe if she managed to get into Heaven somehow, she could see Carlos again and apologize for failing him.

Vaga still hasn't opened up about her past.

More explanation:

Her human backstory is extremely Grave of the Fireflies coded and I admit I recently saw the movie and couldn't help it. It’s my way of coping, this movie destroyed me. Some may ask, why did Vannessa go to Hell, she did nothing wrong.

That’s part of my Heaven rewriting, you see you’re judged by the Seven Deadly Sins and the Holly Virtuous. But they only judge your actions, not why you did them.

Carlos went to Heaven because he was really young and hadn't developed a real sense of morality yet, if he reached 13 he would have gone to Hell. Vanessa died an adult and still helped in the War, even if it was out of her control she still got damned.

Anyway, what do you think of those two backstories?

[getsteddiewithit]

title: please don’t call me pretty.

alt universe- ‘king’ steve harrington is pretty much not the king here.

CW: negative self-talk, slight mention of self harm, self esteem issues, mentions of bullying, mentions of child abuse, and restrictive eating.

‘pretty’ was a word steve would absolutely not use to describe himself.

in fact, he’d never been called pretty before. not once. he was called the opposite, quite often.

of course he knew he wasn’t great looking; wasn’t outstanding or worthy of mentioning, but he didn’t think he was so bad he needed to be made fun of for it.

no one does. but he was.

ugly was a word he heard every day in middle school, and then home wasn’t any better. fat was a common word there.

“cut your hair, ugly,” people would sneer in his face. shove him into lockers, corner him in the library, single him out in p.e.; anything they could do to get their hands on him, they would.

numerous times he showed up at his home with a black eye, marks on his face, cut lips, bruised ribs; limping his way home.

“maybe you should see a doctor about your weight, steven. lose some weight?”

“that shirt seems to be fitting too tight, doesn’t it, steven?”

“yes mother,” he would respond. and so he slowly began to work out more, began lying about eating at school and saying he ate a big lunch. skipping meals became a bad habit, but at least he was seeing results.

and after years and years of being told he was ugly, unattractive, fat; he kept believing it. he didn’t think he would ever stop since in the mirror it was all he saw.

now at eighteen, a senior in his second semester of high school, he still thought he was ugly even though he’d gotten notes slipped into his locker a few times. thought he was fat although his cheeks were sunken in, and his ribs could be seen. he was tall enough now that the bullying stopped. he was finally big enough to intimidate and to get people to back off.

so he kept to himself. he wasn’t being cornered in the library anymore, and it became a safe place for him to sit during his free time.

that is where he met his boyfriend, eddie. and eddie was the first one ever to call him attractive. to point out how he never ate. to ask about his days, his home life, his grades, his everything.

of course he liked it. but it felt too good to be true. how could a boy like eddie love someone like him? it didn’t make sense.

“you’re so pretty,” eddie murmured to him the first time he’d spent the night at his trailer. it was 11am on a saturday morning, and the boys had slept in late. steve laid in his arms and looked into his brown eyes then down to the soft smile on his lips. but he himself was not smiling.

getting a compliment for the first time ever felt off. it didn’t feel right. he didn’t deserve one. he was too big, took up too much space, his hair was too frizzy, his acne was too bad, he was too-

“steve?” he called softly. he pulled steve out of his thoughts.

“please don’t call me pretty.” and he slowly crawled out of his arms, laying down but facing away from him.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you upset. i- what do-“ he was cut off.

“it’s not you, i don’t think,” he said, curling in a tight ball, “i’ve just never been called that before. it feels weird.” 

“you’ve never been called pretty? steve, you’re gorgeous,”

he was in disbelief. not only was he pretty, but he was gorgeous?

“what?” he sat up, turning to him.

“i think you’re like one of the prettiest people i’ve seen. you’re so beautiful, steve. inside and out,”

“but- what? i-i’m ugly. i need to lose weight. my scars-“

“-do not change how pretty you are. and you do not need to lose weight. you’re so skinny, honey. and you’re not ugly,”

“w-what?” he weakly stuttered out. he was shocked.

“you don’t believe me?”

“i… no,” he told him.

“i’m so sorry,” he said back, grabbing his hands and giving a gentle squeeze, “you deserve to be told nice things. i want to tell them to you,”

steve gave a squeeze back, his eyes filling with tears. this was the first time he was ever given a sincere apology.

“i love you,” steve said. and it was the first time he genuinely meant it.

“i love you too,” eddie replied. and steve finally believed something he was told. he was pulled into a hug, and he cried on his bare shoulder for about twenty minutes before calming down.

“i’m going to tell you nice things every day until you believe them, okay?”

he nodded. not like he could stop eddie from doing that, anyway.

“starting with this,” he said, cupping his cheeks, “you are so, so pretty.”

and for once in his life, he finally believed it.

steve harrington was pretty.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

“when she can't trust herself, she can't trust other people, and it makes it impossible for her to be close with anyone. it makes life extremely difficult for her. it makes living difficult for her.” — end of an era

"[rose] couldn't stand herself; self-destruction is a huge theme throughout the show—the struggle of the feeling that you shouldn't exist, & what that can do to a person. a lot of the themes of the show exist within rose." — end of an era

there isn’t just one reason rose planned & ultimately chose to give up her physical form.

(sensitive subject matter before you read further, as this is about rose taking her own life)

some reasons are extremely beautiful & show her sincere, intense love she had for those around her and the person she was creating.

other reasons are extremely tragic & show her self destruction, self hatred, and guilt.

there are many people in the fandom who have no idea (or refuse to believe) that one reason rose gave up her form was because she didn’t want to exist anymore. she knew that she wouldn’t exist anymore & she was just fine with it. when pearl found out she was pregnant, she cried and said, what was rose thinking; she can’t have a baby; i’m going to lose her. rose’s death was a suicide.

/nbh, i just wish more of the fandom, on all platforms, truly understood this about her. it doesn’t lessen her love for steven or others, but it says so much about many aspects of the show. how rose was impacted by people. how she felt about others. why she encouraged others to love themselves. her intentions & so many important themes. many people misunderstand her character in general, with this belief that rose was either a villain or complete perfection. she was a flawed & loving & traumatized & complicated individual. the fandom lacks empathy for her & invalidates all sorts of things. people who are like me, who feel a sense of comfort because they relate to her are often uncomfortable with this. there’s also fans who don’t realize they’re like her because they misunderstand her character. rose’s character being misunderstood is undeniably connected to rose’s self destruction, trauma, & mental health issues getting overlooked by the fandom. if they can’t fully understand her death, they really can’t understand her life, either.

it absolutely breaks my heart when rose is called malicious for her choice to give up her physical form, or when people claim that she left steven to deal with her problems. steven does have moments when he questions his existence, as seen in storm in the room. makes sense for steven, considering his position. the show is from his perspective, but some steven universe fans seem to get caught up in that & they can’t see from the outside perspective that we all have. we’re not steven. steven’s character is someone who i sympathize with, as he is a child who is making sense of things. we only ever see him as a child. but rose & steven can simultaneously be sympathized with. from an outside perspective & from what’s said in books like end of an era, it's clear that rose was genuinely excited for steven to exist all while she no longer wanted to exist.

so, i will never forget pearl’s expression and how she immediately hugged rose after she said, “i can’t exactly shatter myself.”

[coltrainbat]

Do you think you could write about short sized! Reader working for Bruce banner as a lab assistant and Steve has a total crush on her.

Get A Life

You sat comfortably at your desk, analysing recent data on your computer screen. To an everyday person what would look like a jumbled mix of numbers and symbols to you made perfect sense. 

“Bruceee.”

“Ah-huh.” He responded, eye deep into a telescope.

“The optimal temperature for nuclear reaction is…” 

“100 million Kelvin… depends.”

“Figured.” You grumbled, nibbling on the end of a pen.

He rose from his stool, moving towards your desk and minimising the screen.

“This might sound hypocritical coming from me, but you need to get a social life.”

You re-opened the screen, eyes zoning in on him “This is social.” Gesturing between you both. 

“No this is work.” He minimised the screen again. 

“It’s a hobby.” You re-opened it,  

“That you get paid to do.” He minimised the screen once more.

Before you could continue your game of cat and mouse, a knock at the door caused both your heads to rise.

“Sorry to interrupt I just came to drop off these documents for Y/N.”

Your eyes darted up to the large frame leaning against the door, his blue eyes never leaving yours as he offered a soft smile, holding a thick manilla folder in his hands like it was nothing. 

“Oh yeah, okay, I was just about to go.” Bruce rose, walking past Steve.

Bruce raised his pointer finger at Steve, leaning in close and whispering while you were distracted by the screen in front of you “I…MIT won’t stop calling desperate for her to join so don’t… you know because I will go Hulk on your ass.” 

Steve gave him a respectful nod “I won’t.” 

“Good.” With a slap on the shoulder Bruce made his way out. 

Steve stalked towards you, placing the folder on your desk with a thud.

You skim through the contents only to find blank pages.

“These are all blank?”

“Yes, they are.”

“What… why would you… what?”

Steve’s hand rubbed the back of his head “I just wanted an excuse to come see you.” He smiled at you sheepishly. 

You sighed, rising from your desk making your way to the chemical cupboard with Steve close on your tail.

“I’m in the middle of making universe altering research breakthroughs Steven.” You thumbed through the walls of vials and chemicals.

Steven. Only you called him Steven. Not Rogers. Not Captain. Steven. And while he’d choke out anyone else who called him that besides his mother, he loved hearing his name fall from your lips. 

“Which is why I think you deserved a break.”

“Why is everyone so obsessed with me talking breaks around here?”

“Because you work the hardest.” You momentarily paused, turning your head over your shoulder, catching the sincerity on his face. 

“I’m not a superhero.” You shook your head. 

“You are, in a way…” He moved forward coming behind you as you reached upwards, pushing your weight onto your tippy toes to reach the container on the top shelf, your fingertips barely brushing it. Even in heeled boots you couldn’t even reach. 

With a swift motion, he placed his hand on your hip to pull you back slightly, raising his toned arm and grabbing the container effortlessly and handing it to you.

“I can’t even reach the top shelf.” Blush rose to your cheek at the feeling of his body so close to you. 

“Yes, but even superhero need help sometimes and more importantly… lives.”

“I have a life!” You moved out of his reach going back towards your desk. 

“When was the last time you had a beer with us? Or didn’t go into the lab for a day? Or went on a date?” He spat out.

You paused, turning on your heels, eyeing him.

“What do you want?” You said bluntly, crossing your arms over your full chest.

You were annoyed and he could tell. But he was absolutely obsessed with the way you looked in this moment, eyes piercing right into his soul through your glasses, your hair in a claw clip with strands sticking out and falling over your face. The tapping on your boot against the linoleum floor and the way your arms crossed pushed your chest together revealing a small sight of cleavage under your sweater. 

He shouldn’t have found it as sexy as he did. 

“I’d like you to take a break…”

You went to interject him and give him a 1000 reasons why you wouldn’t take a break until he finished…

“So, I can take you on a date.”

Your mouth fell agape but you were quick to recover with a sarcastic chuckle.

“Do you want me to warm up the CAT scan? Seems your brain has turned to mush from being in the ice so long.”

“Y/N please.”

“Steven, I don’t date.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not scientific and it’s not logical, it’s unexplainable nonsense that drives women to insanity.”

He crooked an eyebrow up at you. “I don’t think you could get more insane than you already are if that helps.”

You rubbed your temples turning on your heels to go back to your desk until you felt a strong hang grab your wrist and pull you back into a hard chest. 

“Y/N, I see what you do day in day out for this team, and it doesn’t go unnoticed. But I also see how when you’re focused your eyebrows knot together, how I know which pencils are yours because of the bite marks on ends, how at the end of every day you let your hair fall out and you shake it with your hands, how the sweat drips down your chest and soaks your sports bras in the gym, how when you make a sly comment everyone laughs because you’re funny without realising and I can’t stop looking at you and I won’t but I desperately want to see what’s in your mind behind formulas and data because I know there’s more to you than that so if you would give me the pleasure I really REALLY want to be the social life you so desperately need. I see you, more than you know. And while it may not be mathematical, it makes perfectly calculated sense to me.”

You sucked in your lips, emotions swelling inside of you. His head bowed towards you, foreheads touching. 

“Please.”

You nodded unable to form words as his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you in as his lips lightly brushed yours, forcing you to relax in his grip and reciprocate the tender kiss.

“I’ll see you at 7pm - don’t be late.” He gave you final kiss on your forehead, walking out with a beaming smile. 

Leaving you in shock as you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding in and warmth spread throughout your body. 

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Buttercup Lifts Couch & Mammon Becomes A Dad...? (2024)

------------------

Credit for Steven Universe Series goes to Rebecca Sugar

Credit for Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss goes to Vivienne "Vivziepop” Medrano

Credit for Invader Zim goes to Jhonen Vasquez

Credit for Undertale & Deltarune goes to Toby Fox

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro & TakaraTomy

Credit Transformers Animated Series goes to Sam Register & Matt Youngberg

Credit for The Powerpuff Girls goes to Craig McCracken

Credit for Danny Phantom goes to Butch Hartman

------------

if anyone is wondering, Pink-Pearl is suppose to still look like her original gem humanoid but she is also suppose to be a Moth, and well if Lonely-Pearl was a Moth in her corrupted form, it would make sense that Pearls in a Crossover between Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel and Steven Universe, they would be Moths but still look a bit how they originally looked.

I want to call Pink-Pearl by the nickname "Vollie" but it's okay not everyone calls her that, and it would be interesting in a Crossover Fanon Timeline she forms a friendship with Verosika.

and yes I gave that Soundwave a bow on their head, it is suppose to be one of those Sound-Wave copies of the Original Sounwave.

I have had the idea for a while, that Lancer mistakes Mammon as his Dad, just in a different outfit...

I worked on this drawing around January and I'm just now posting it on February...it was not great a few days ago, I know during my trying to write a theory that has to do with Sari that of course has to do with a Crossover with Hazbin Hotel and TFA...

the connection kept going on and off, and yeah I ended up noticing a bit too late that I forgot to put the word "just" and well it is called "Hazformers Theory: What Sari Could Be Doing With Her Autobot Friends MIA" but even when I was trying to write it, the connection kept going off on me, and it was only making me more mad and feeling not so happy...so even when I got lucky and was finally able to post it, but when I wanted to log back on to fix and edit what I notice I forgot to put down on it...and yeah I had finally got around to it today...

but I was having some trouble logging back on, which I think it was because of the connection going off and on me again, and it might of possibly messed up my password, cause when I did try to use it again today......it didn't turn out too well, I still couldn't get on and at some point I had to make a new password just so I could post not only some new fan theories, but also this drawing and that

I seriously wasn't having a good day, I couldn't really get to sleep and well I do feel a little tired right now, it doesn't help that what happen was I guess a bit stressful...

and anyway Peridot is being Feral and is suppose to have Doe Ears and a Tail, like Peridots end up with Deer like appearance.

Alastor ending up adopting her and having her on that very thing that we see her have on her in one of the episodes of Steven Universe, well it can be one of the ways to keep her from running off when she gets all feral...like it only comes off if she calms down and doesn't act all feral.

and even when you make the drawing big, to read what is being said...

here is what Mammon is saying...

"when did I become a Dad…? I don't remember having a kid…unless Stella has been keeping it a secret from me. oh man, do I need to marry Stella?! I'm NOT ready yet!!! I need to call Stella and tell her to pick up our little acciden-…cough I mean Son."

also in this drawing, Buttercup Utonium is 22 years old, so this is the much older future self of Buttercup.

I think I will post one more thing, than I will be heading to bed to get some sleep...I rather post it now than wait until either tomorrow or in a few days...plus if I'm able to, I may talk more about that Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Theory that has to do with Soul-Partnership Contract...

anyway hope some find it funny that Lancer thinks that Mammon is his Dad, and making Mammon very confused...also I like the Mamtella ship between Mammon and Stella.....their ship name still sounds like a type of food you put on toast, and I don't know if many will end up using that Mamtella ship name or not, so far I'm the first to call those two by that ship name. XD

[dominickeating-source]

TV Zone Special Issue #48 (2002)

Keating The British End Up 

It's hard [not] to notice that Lt. Reed is the only British character in a strongly American series. Steven Eramo met with actor Dominic Keating to talk about Enterprise's old new frontier.  

THE CREW OF THE Enterprise NX-01 had no idea what awaited them when they warped off into the cosmos on their first mission to the Klingon home world. As tactical/armory officer, Lt. Malcolm Reed was responsible for maintaining the ship's defenses.  He spent his first few months in space fine-tuning the targeting scanners for the photon torpedoes and getting the phase cannons to work. Not one to pass up an adventure, the lieutenant has also had his fair share of close encounters with some friendly and not-so-friendly aliens. So the past twelve months or so have been anything but dull for him.   Like his TV alter ego, Dominic Keating did not know quite what to expect when he signed on to play the very British Reed on the latest Star Trek spin-off Enterprise.  According to the actor, his first year in the Trek universe had plenty of ups and very few downs. "I couldn't be more pleased," enthuses Keating. "I'll admit, though, that initially I was a bit concerned that the Initial thrust of the show seemed to be the triumvirate of Captain Archer [Scott Bakula], T'Pol [Jolene Blalock] and Trip [Connor Trinneer]. At one point I was going to phone [Enterprise co-creator and executive producer] Brannon Braga and ask him, 'Hey, what's up?' I didn't want to become the guy that only said, 'Hull plating is down 25%, Captain,' in the best British accent that I could muster.

"In retrospect I'm so glad I didn't make that call and act a bit like a headless chicken if you will because suddenly things began to change. Around the corner came stories such as Shuttlepod One and Sleeping Dogs. It became clear to me that Malcolm was going to have a distinct role to play in the telling of this ensemble story. I also didn't expect my character to become the 'action man' of the piece. As a child I was always good at playing cowboys and Indians in the backyard. I loved to run around and hunker down behind a wall and pretend to be fired upon," laughs the actor.  "Now all these years later I'm getting to do it all over again but in outer space. I'm over the moon - no pun intended - about that.

"I was at a Trek convention in Las Vegas recently and Brannon was also there. We spent an evening sitting and chatting quite casually for the first time. He and I discussed the fact that in some ways Malcolm Reed is one of the most enigmatic and versatile characters on the show. He's the least prone too two-dimensionally and the viewers seem able to accept any sort of contradiction in his character flaws. As a result, the writers can go any way with Malcolm and I like that. At one turn he's charming and coy and the next he's bad tempered and irritable. Then there are times that he's all by the book and no-nonsense and yet he can also be a jokester with a very dry sense of humour. I think Malcolm has great prospects in the years to come."

Like many actors, Keating is his own worst critic when it concerns his craft. That said, is there anything he would have done differently when it came to playing Malcolm Reed in Enterprise's first year?  "Well, there was that one look I gave Hoshi [Linda Park] in the pilot. I thought I was being charming and sexy and I just looked camp and ridiculous. I'll never do that lip movement again," he jokes. "I've never done 26 episodes of something back-to-back and then seen it weekly. I mean, I do watch the episodes and I watch them with a fine-tooth comb. I weed out what does and doesn't work. There are some things you do that seem fine at the time but, in fact, actually end up telegraphing something else. You don't want to get too highfalutin insofar as, 'What's my motivation? Where's my obstruction? Where am I going with this?' If something doesn't feel right you have to be aware of it and tell yourself, 'That doesn't work, kid?' 

"This is also my first time playing a part where I've begun to allow who Dominic is into Malcolm," continues the actor. "I've never trusted myself to do that before.  When you read a three-line character breakdown at the beginning of your audition process you kind of get locked into that description. With Malcolm it was, 'Shy around women, button-down, by the book, typical Brit.'. Descriptions such as these very much denote how you're going to play your character, but only if you let them. For the first time I've been able to flesh Malcolm out and play him at odds with himself. For example, if I as Dominic thought a moment in a scene had a tinge of humour to it and felt it was appropriate to laugh at then I'd let Malcolm laugh. This is where that murky land of who's Malcolm Reed and who's Dominic Keating becomes the finished product.

"I know there have been times when Rick Berman [co-creator and executive producer] has said to me, 'That's too much, Dominic'. There was a nightclub scene in the Risa episode [Two Days and Two Nights] where I was too loose. We ended up doing another take and I had to tone things down slightly. Because Malcolm was on holiday I thought, 'He can let his hair down a bit'.  Unfortunately, I stretched things a little too thin and you could see his cellulite," chuckles Keating. "You have to be careful not to do that."

MOST REGULAR Enterprise viewers will agree that the actor's first season tour de force is the aforementioned episode Shuttlepod One. In it, Malcolm and Commander (Trip) Tucker are returning to the Enterprise after a mission when their shuttlepod is damaged.  They manage to reach their rendezvous point where they discover that the Enterprise has apparently been destroyed in a collision with an asteroid. The two officers suddenly find themselves marooned in space with only a few days of air left.  

"Oddly enough, the filming of Shuttlepod One wound up crossing with Sleeping Dogs because Les Landau, who directed Dogs, was taken ill," recalls Keating. "As a result, director David Livingston was called in right away to start shooting Shuttlepod One. We did four or five days on that episode and then Les was well enough to come back to work. So we filmed the last day of Dogs right in the middle of Shuttlepod One, which was a little weird. We actually shot the scenes for Shuttlepod One pretty much in order, which is very unusual, and we were well into a rhythm. It was somewhat of a rude awakening for me to suddenly be pulled out for a day, dressed in another costume, and put back on the Klingon battle cruiser with Jolene and Linda to finish up Dogs.

"I remember filming the last scene of Shuttlepod One in sickbay and not wanting it to end. I was sad. It was a good energy to have, though, as it lent itself nicely to the scene. It had been a wonderful week and my best experience to date in front of a camera. I think it's a terrific piece of hour-long TV I really love working with Connor.  He's a very generous and talented actor and we have a good rapport on and off-screen.  Rick Berman was so excited when he saw the rough cut of the episode that he came down to the set to pat Connor and me on our backs. He told us, 'Of all the shows I've ever produced this is the one I'm most proud of. That's weighty praise, indeed."   

At the time of this interview (early September) Keating and the rest of the Enterprise cast and crew were well into filming the show's second season. One of the first stories to be shot was called Minefield. It features Malcolm Reed, who finds himself pinned under a deep-space mine on the hull of the Enterprise.  

"Finally Malcolm and the captain are seen in close proximity with one another," says the actor. "If there was one disappointment I had about the first season it's that I didn't get to do an awful lot with Scott. I certainly never got to sit at Captain Archer's mess table, and God that bothered me. Even Anthony Montgomery's character of Mayweather sat there. Come on, he's just an ensign, Malcolm's a lieutenant. We take these things very seriously," he jokes.  

"Scott and I spent 16 hours a day for five days in EV [environmental] suits for the filming of Minefield, which is no mean feat I'll tell you. Poor Scott threw his back out and we both lost 10 pounds. It was one hell of a week. However, it was terrific working with Scott. It's quite a gargantuan episode. Not wishing to sort of taint it in any way but in some respects it was Shuttlepod One revisited only with Malcolm and Archer.  One big difference was it had a ticking clock. I can honestly say that week�s 'guest star' was the biggest prop I�ve ever worked with," laughs Keating.

IN AN IDEAL world, the actor would love to be doing episodes such as Minefield and Shuttlepod One every other week. However, he realizes this is not possible given the inherent structure of series TV and, in particular, Enterprise. "Early on I thought that Enterprise was going to be ER only in space," he says. "The ship would be the emergency room and you'd have these seven doctors who were spacemen all having interesting story lines with each other. And there would be new patients - the aliens - coming in each week. That's difficult to do, though. I also know that Trek has an established format and they're not about to throw that out the window.  

"I've heard through the grapevine that ideas for new episodes have been mooted and debated at production level meetings.  And the word will come back that, 'Yes, great idea. Too bad it's Shuttlepod One.  We've been there, done that.' You can't do it again for whatever reason within the confines of this series. I suppose in more reality-based shows like a medical or police dramas that Human relationships do kind of go round and round in circles and some scenes do seem like one another. However, I guess it just doesn't ring true with Sci-Fi.  That said, I think the people in charge of Enterprise have done a fine job of presenting a Sci-Fi adventure epic and introducing a cast of characters that the viewers can get to know and, hopefully, come to care about."

Like most actors associated with a Star Trek series, Keating has made a point of going to conventions and meeting the fans.  "I'm actually the convention king on our programme," he laughs. "I've been to 12 or 13 already. Just recently, though, I've taken a bit of a  backseat from them. I thought, 'OK, that's enough for now'. It takes a lot out of you I've got to say. You're up at 5 in the morning, get on a 6 o'clock flight, fly for four or five hours, do your hour on stage, sign autographs, pose for pictures, and then you're back on a plane to Los Angeles. By the time you get home you're like, 'I'm knackered'. However, it's tremendous fun meeting and talking with the fans. I remember the first con I did was quite nerve-racking but I've since gotten into a stride, and quite frankly you can't shut me up now. The biggest one I've done so far was in Germany where six thousand people turned up. I walked out on that stage and it was like being in a boy band. I felt like a member of N'Sync for the day. It was extraordinary."

IT WAS TWO YEARS ago when TV Zone first met up with Keating.  He was in the middle of filming his first episode of The Immortal in which he portrayed the wickedly handsome and decidedly evil demon Mallos, the Lord of Darkness. In many ways this was the start of the Leicester lad's new career in America.

"I'd just done a film with Burt Reynolds, Rod Steiger and Tom Berenger called The Hollywood Sign," says the actor. "Sadly, it never was released here.  Apparently, it was a big hit in Holland because the director [Sonke Wortmann] was a Dutch fellow. Right after that I was cast in The Immortal and went up to Vancouver to shoot the first few episodes with Lorzeno Lamas [Raphael 'Rafe' Cain] and the beautiful Kira Clavell [Vashista].  

"It was around this time I began to realize that suddenly I was working more regularly than ever before since coming to the States. While I was going back and forth from Los Angeles to Vancouver to do The Immortal I got a call from Zalman King. He cast me in his new erotic/comedic romp ChromiumBlue.com in which I play a bisexual ghost, can you believe it? Hey, I'm versatile if nothing else. I went from the Lord of Darkness to the Queen of Camp and now the King of the Armoury Room on Enterprise.  I don't think even Robert De Niro can boast that litany," laughs Keating.

"Never in a million years, though, did I think I'd end up on a seven-year Sci-Fi series like Enterprise, but now that I have it's fantastic, I'm definitely of an age where I'm old enough to appreciate it and young enough to still enjoy it, you know? I'm so grateful to whatever higher power saw fit to bestow this upon me because I realize how fleeting such things can be. If they didn't like one little thing I did in the network audition I might not have gotten this job. Sometimes it makes me shiver when I think how fortunate I truly am." 

Source: www.dominickeating.com

[inspectorspinda]

Honestly I like Helluva Boss for what it is. It has flaws, but that’s every piece of media ever. For the love of god just feel how you feel about this show and stop trying to turn it into the next Steven Universe.

That being said, Apology Tour really gave me a lot of mixed thoughts. I feel like I want to argue with people on both sides of this. Like generally I support Stolas, but the concept of a “I hate Blitz” party was just a very bad one of the part of the writers.

Before the episode came out I fully expected Verosika to start trashing on Blitz in song form and Stolas to do an ironic song about Blitz being flawed, but ultimately still good.

I absolutely think Stolas had every right to break up with Blitz. I don’t agree that Stolas was wrong to cover his face at Ozzie’s. I think so many people miss the fact that Blitz lied to Stolas about that night being a date only to spy on his coworkers. And in the end he did apologize to Blitz about the previous nature of their relationship. That was like the whole episode in Full Moon.

But after that, I think it would have made much more sense for Stolas to feel bad for Blitz and keeping his distance emotionally instead of being suddenly angry at him. Because it is shown that Stolas knows where he has been in the wrong and even feels terrible for not seeing the signs early. Makes zero sense for him to be so bitter in Apology Tour.

[toxiccrybabyart]

More diamonds!

Behold, the small diamonds in another screenshot redraw

Lore and original reference below!

Please read it I liked writing this.

Pink Diamond (Steven Universe)

The excited one.

Everyone knows pink Diamond, the diamond who fell in love with her colony and tried to free it, and her pearl, who followed her out of love. Together they faked her shattering, and ran to protect Earth and the humans who lived on it.

Everyone knows the classic girlie, my beloved pink diamond. Pink is very princess themed, rose being a graceful elegant princess, and Pink, her jester like counterpart.

Blue Diamond (Sage Universe)

The more emotional one.

She discovered Earth and fell in love with its beautiful oceans and silly humans. She sobbed for the other diamonds to free earth, but they simply thought it was another tantrum, and dismissed her time and time again. So she faked her shattering with the help of her Pearl, a soft spoken gem who would do anything to make her diamond happy.

This cutie was so fun to do. Her theming is based off the medieval era, with a slightly more peasant dnd look to her design. I’ve struggled with this design for years, but she finally looks the way I want her to. I let her keep Blue pearl, I just can’t bear to separate the diamonds from their pearls. Blue Pearl is still very soft spoken and sweet, but she can still get angry in the way only blue gems do best, balancing the cute and the scary 💙 She still adores art, and will pursue that later in the “series”

Yellow Diamond (Stephan Universe)

The cautious one.

At first, Yellow didn’t see the appeal of her colony. But after observing the humans, and the strength they showed, she fell in love with the toughness of Earth. She demanded to free her colony, but her fellow diamonds didn’t listen, used to her spoiled behavior. So, with the help of her mischievous pearl, she faked her shattering, fighting for Earth with every fiber of her being. Her pearl was happy for the adventure, and the attention that came with it.

Yellows theming has always felt very war general to me, so I felt the need to keep that warrior, soldier type theming with how she looks. This particular look is, spoiled royal interested in fighting, if that makes sense. Yellow pearl is still in love with herself, but I gave her a bit more mischief. She’s a fan of drama and being sneaky. Of course she still adores modeling, how could I take that from her, come on.

White diamond (Scorpio Universe)

The curious one.

White was fascinated with Earth from day one. She’d never seen a planet so lush, with such thriving species of so many creatures. The way everything fell perfectly into place, and yet was so chaotic and strange, made White want to protect it. She tried to advocate for Earth, but her diamonds ignored her, building her a zoo to satiate her drive to have some of these creatures. But it wasn’t the same, it was too orderly, the organic chaos was gone. So, she faked her own shattering with the help of her pearl, fleeing to earth to study and protect its inhabitants.

Oh man, this one felt so easy and yet I feel like I have to explain myself here. All my White designs are themed after the 1950s, idk why, it just, feels right. So of course, baby White here is themed after the 1950s idea of what the future would be like, think, the Jetsons, or those pin up drawings of the space girls. Her pearl is entirely original, so I’m still working on her. I think she’s very sweet and interested in the scientific aspect just like White, though.

[laurarolla]

So I finished my playthrough of Bioshock. Not sure if I want to just upload the straight footage with a description of the restrictions I gave myself and then maybe get around to actually making a proper video later, considering I haven't even started on the Steven Universe Save the Light video yet, but I'll think about it later. Right now, some thoughts I had while replaying this game that is getting dangerously close to 20 years old now oh crap.

World building and story is still solid, although I do vibe with Bioshock 2 a lot more. However, I came to a realization about the endgame areas of Bioshock today. Most basic conversation about the game revolves around the Andrew Ryan scene, but I noticed this time that the aftermath of that scene is really there to support its theme about how much agency we really have in life and especially in games.

Fontaine spends much of the endgame asking you why you are even bothering to continue coming after him, and it seems like this isn't really questioning Jack so much as the player. At the same time, he recaps elements of the narrative that would serve as possible justification for the emotions the player may be feeling in their drive to the final confrontation. He talks about manufacturing memories, lying about a family in danger, constantly references Tenenbaum's history as a Nazi collaborator that the game casts in sharp contrast with her attempt to become a better person and find some kind of redemption. He says you've been betrayed once, why wouldn't it happen again. In essence, he all but tells you to turn the game off and go do something else, anything else, so he can have his victory.

Sometimes the most powerful choice someone can make isn't necessarily the action they take, but the reason behind it. Most players continue to play the game, but why? If the Andrew Ryan reveal is the big high point of everything Bioshock 1 was leading to, why keep going when it's over? For some, it's inertia: They've come this far, why not see it through. For others, it's anger, or a sense of obligation, or curiousity. For some, they've even grown to care about the little sisters and/or Tenenbaum and her desire to be better than the monster she once was. The most important thing to do is to ask yourself why.

Also, to veer away from this more potentially meaningful discussion on how people emotionally connect to art, I also want to point out that the game gets surprisingly stingy with resources in the late game if you aren't using the vending machines. It's neat to have played through the game with so many restrictions on myself because it gave me a chance to see how the systems all interact by removing some of them. That's one of the most fascinating things that the challenge run trend in gaming allows a player to experience and wrap their head around.

[andthetapeworms]

Lately I have been hyperfixating on Steven universe again and the pokemon nerd will always be rooted deep inside me so I'm going to assign all the Steven universe characters pokemon types (i hope no one did this yet)

First one up is Steven, I'll say normal and fairy. Fairy on behalf of Rose/Pink, and normal since he's half human

Next up is Pearl, she's a fairy and fighting type. I think all pearls would be the same type as their diamonds, so pearl is also a fairy type, but also a fighting type. I don't think she came with that type, I'd like to think she somehow gained it some time during the rebellion

Amethyst would be a rock and fighting type, i think that all quartzes would be a ground type instead of a rock type, but since she's off color, she gets the rock typing.

Garnet is a rock and fairy type. I wanted to do rock and fighting, but I needed to put a fairy in there somewhere for Ruby and Sapphires love obviously! (The former "cotton candy" Garnet design just screams fairy.) I think she's good without the fighting type though, because if you've played any Pokemon game, you'd know that fairy types are RIDICULOUSLY powerful..

Ruby is definitely fire and fighting. What else would she be?

Sapphire would be an ice and psychic. I'm saying psychic, because of her ability to see into the future

Bismuth, I feel, would be a rock and steel type. It just makes a whole lot of sense. Almost every rock and steel type Pokemon that we currently have is insanely physically powerful

Lapis is a water and flying type! for some reason I can't shake the feeling off that the flying type doesn't fit her, but she has wings, she can fly, as can every other lapis, she's a flying type

Peridot is a ground and steel type, I was wondering if psychic would fit more but I don't think her metal powers could really be considered psychic, so steel it is!

Jasper is a ground and fighting, it just fits. She RADIATES Garchomp vibes.

Malachite would definitely be a water and dark type.

Aquamarine is a bug type since she is an insect. I accept no criticism for this (haha jk, she's water and dark)

Nephrite is a rock and bug type! I think she was a pure rock type before her corruption, and being centipeetle gave her the bug type, and even after she was uncorrupted, she kept that type, kind of like how the quartzes keep their horns.

The rutile twins will be a pure rock type. I can't see them having any other type. Maybe a rock and ground but idk!

Fluorite is a fairy type, i really can't see her having any other type than that! It fits her perfectly :)

Padparadscha is another one I'm kinda conflicted about, I know she'll definitely have the normal type, but idk if she'd also have the psychic type. I mean, she definitely has some sort of power, it just doesn't work the way it should. So I'll say normal and psychic.

Rhodonite is another fairy, i don't know if she'd have a second typing, if she did it'd be rock for sure

Blue zircon and yellow zircon would both be pure rock, i really don't see them having a secondary typing.

Doc and army would both be fire and fighting type! It fits them both

Navy would be a fairy type, i can't see her being anything like a fighting type. She might also be a dark type but whether or not it was inherently malicious of her to do what she did in room for Ruby is up for debate (but i like to think she's a sociopath with no morals)

Leggy, i think, might be a normal and rock type .. ? Idk she doesn't seem like she'd have any other type, she's just too confused, she just kinda.. exists

Eyeball would for sure be a dark and fighting type, can't see ANYTHING else fitting that girl

The heaven beetle and earth beetle would both be bug and rock! Very little.

Spinel is a fairy and dark. Like Pearl, she originally was a pure fairy type but gained the dark type. I could kinda see her losing her fairy type after gaining her dark type all together, but she was still silly and cute! She was just too hurt. Even after reaching a much better place mentally, she wouldn't lose the dark type

Yellow diamond would be an electric type, which is cliche, but don't forget she literally has electricity powers!!!

Blue diamond would be water, which is, again, cliche, but water really is her whole thing! She makes people cry, and those happy pill clouds she's rocking in future are, assumably, made out of water like normal clouds are!

White diamond is a psychic and dark type. SHE SCREAMS PSYCHIC AND DARK! it fits her so well! Whenever she's using the new power she has in future that lets people connect with her, she would gain their typing temporarily!

I think yellow and blue pearl would both be the same types as their diamonds! Electric and water respectively!

Volleyball (or pink pearl, or white pearl, wow she has a lot of names) is a pure fairy type. I think while she was under white diamonds control, she was also psychic and dark.

(If there is any one I didn't do that you would want me to, mention them in the replies or notes and I'll edit this and add them :])

[junniorstarbreak]

Blog Update Cause it 2024 !!

Hello everyone! Maybe you guys have forgotten that you were following me lol, since I have been inactive and sporadic here. Social media has changed so hard ever since the purge and the pandemic, but it 2024 so it is time I just reclaim myself and my dreams and goals...

And to give everyone a proper explanation of what that entails and what my plans would be moving forward, in fact this post is to help me come clean with my feelings and experiences so I can accept them and move on, that doesn't mean this will be my last post on this account, but more so that I want to create a cleaner slate for me to get stuff done~

For starters when I started this blog I did it because of an old fandom friend, we became close due to our love for Steven Universe, she became like a beacon, a mentor figure to how to interact online with people, as you can tell from that I'm pretty much part of the OG 2014 era of Tumblr, that boom where Superwholock and the Homestuck fandom where at their peak, witnessed Undertale's humble demo beginnings and how when it released in full it became a viral sensation, something that only tumblr had the power to do, which has been hard to replicate on a social media such as twitter and even harder everywhere else. (Which is why I think games like Omori didn't generate enough traction in comparison)

Tumblr got me through my darkest times after 2013 when I unfortunately got abused by my principal and I had lost all sense of direction, it became a place of comfort and happiness, better than facebook, and more flexible than twitter, I was living and having fun and discovering more about myself, exploring me as a person and my interests, it was my fave go to website during my university years while I grew artistically and got the chance to come out of my shell and meet new friends.

It was an inspiring place with so much to discover, seeing cool peeps, cool fan art, memes, people of so many walks of life and stories whether outlandish or truthful, you could easily interact with people and discover new fandoms and have so much fun, I got to meet nice people, cool artists, inspiring fellas, and precious friends I'll never forget.

I began my tumblr with the idea of joining fandoms and post art, but obviously I was a newbie in those regards, I developed this hyperfixation of keeping up with my dash (do people still call it that?) and always scroll down to the very last post of the day before, while I juggled my academic life and my working life (since I had to pay for my Uni) somehow I focused more on just laughing and reblogging anything I found cool, which meant my first Tumblr became a reblogging personal space, which meant my art posts would get swamped (even tho I had an art tag) so I pretty much gave up on the idea of having an art blog since I didn't have much time for art anyways, and I had to be more focused in my academic life than on being active here or making stuff to post.

In a way tho, that made me feel invisible and made me develop the usual worries such as wanting to go viral, having thousands of notes, being noticed, having a popular post, having thousands of followers, being noticed by cool people or artists, being ACTIVE, having fun with EVERYONE, being recognized in a fandom, being part of something, never feeling enough, making cool projects and getting opportunities... those insecurities led to anxieties, and those anxieties were demoralizing and paralyzing...

As the years went by though, my friend left the internet, wherever she is, I wish her well on her journey, I am thankful for the time together; meanwhile I was dealing with the pressure and stress of my final years of Uni, and also that dreaded feeling of worthlessness and anxiety of feeling far away from my original plans and goals, I felt low... compared to peers or people in the industries I wanna be a part of, which made me feel even worst and stuck, when I finally graduated I felt aimless and without structure, then I got a job at an unfortunalte TOXIC Publicity Agency...

Agencies are as draining and demanding as the worst places to work, enter at 8:00 am and go home till 10:00 pm... yep big NOPE... a draining job like that just made me feel worst about myself, about my art skills, about me as a person, while you had younger peeps becoming viral artists or activists, I felt I was sinking into constant panic and worry thinking this was my life now for years to come, without aspiring to be anything else... it worsen the clinical depression I was experiencing, It's a life I have no plans to return to, I know better now, but oh boy, that was 2019 so... you know what happens next 2020 and... the pandemic was not kind to me, mental breakdowns and borderline suicidal, I WAS A WRECK, and it took some time to heal from those scars of loss, tragedy, abuse, trauma... always overworking without realizing I was straying away from my dreams... always comparing myself to others who I've never met (sometimes I still do) and not trying to rise above the drowning sinkhole I was in...

So... I became so envious and jealous of others success, and became more recluse and shut down, I felt alienated, and alone, hopeless and done... the worst

To this day I still gotta work through my negative feelings, since I still feel excluded from the circles I wanna be a part of, from art communities, from fandoms, maybe because I don't like this thing everyone else is liking, specially people who I look up to enjoying and vibing with a thing together but me being invisible and in the background unable to achieve the same, but... I know that's on me and not on people who have never met me (parasocialism can damn you) so... that's why I am taking the time to write this long post, I kept postponing it over and over again, but it is time I finally take this step for my sake, and the sake of my dreams.

I was inspired to finally start a new chapter in my life and career by the support of new people I've met, a much more forgiving family, and by an AMAZING psychiatrist that has helped me improve my mental state so let me ramble a bit just to finish.

I recently finished Hirogaru Sky! Pretty Cure (By recently I mean February, but you know I was postponing this post for months now) and honestly even though I have been a massive magical girl nerd for years, I never got to finish a Pretty Cure season before, this is legit my first time doing so and I don't regret it, because it a season with the important message on how to be truthfully strong, and having the fortitude of moving on regardless of how painful it can be, and an episode that spoke to me was when Sora felt like she couldn't be an hero anymore, and returned to her homeland to just live a normal life, later on she found the drive to become an hero again, and her dad said a phrase that still rings true "Even if your dream shatters, or you lose it... it will come back to you"... ever since, I felt the need to finally take that step that scares me and gives me anxiety... an that is, to say goodbye to the past and start anew, make a new space for myself, a new tumblr, new accounts, new name... new me, make a clean place that is just for my art, the things I love, the things I enjoy, the things I wanna talk about, an active place surrounded by people who will love my stuff and who will support my projects.

Because even if I don't get into an industry that doesn't mean I have to stop creating, I don't wanna be invisible and just reblog all the time, I wanna MAKE, I wanna CREATE, I want to post art and share my love and experience with others in a better place that actually feels mine, where I can start from scratch and defeat those negative feelings, I don't need to be viral or make a hit game or anything like that, I just need to enjoy life and grow as a person while I work towards my dreams and ambitions, because, I don't want to be scared anymore, I want to just take that first step and no longer make excuses not to, I wanna be reborn and do better for myself...

As for these old tumblr? It gonna remain as a personal space for reblogs and what not, I don't think it needs to be deleted or deactivated but I am sure it will get ocassional use and not constant as I'll be focusing on my life plans~

Thank you so much for reading till the end, it is quite the lenghty post but, I had these feelings in my chest for years and finally have the bravery to free them into the world.

I also want to recommend BUCCHIGIRI?! underrated anime😤 it had to compete with Dungeon Meshi for attention, but boy is it worth a watch, specially if you anime like DBZ, it pumps you with adrenaline and the story is a heartfelt endeavor of growth and how to deal with your inner demons!

So what are my next steps? well... I am planning to watch Wonderful Precure and probs Kaiju No.8 plenty of shows I wanna watch and enjoy honestly~

Anyways, here is my new tumblr link!

Sure, it a work in progress, but I am ready to make it my new home and become a better me now :3

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

thoughts on this video about phase 4 😁 https://youtu.be/ICULY_gTngs

lol sure! As usual, a few things I agree with, others not so much.

When he said this I felt it: "The fact that I willingly skipped a handful of products from this phase and didn't feel like I missed anything should speak volumes", because damn, I feel the same way!

During the Infinity saga, a few things weren't to my liking but I stayed and watched all movies in theatres because I didn't want to miss anything, whatever they gave me I was happy to be there and see it. But after MoM, I started skipping series, I'm just not interested anymore. It went from feeling like a hobby to a chore.

I hate it when people claim we have to see Phase 4 as Phase 1 because it's nothing like it. He makes a really good point of saying Phase One only had 5 movies and ended with The Avengers (2008-2012), but Phase Four is 7 movies and 8 tv shows - in two years!!

Phase One introduced us to Stark and then Coulson, Fury and Nat. Thor to both Asgard and his family and Loki, TFA to Steve and Hydra.... and then we got The Avengers. That's great, it's concise, to the point. Now they're doing the same? Sure.... across 15 products in less than two years with a lot of characters that spend more time proving they're better than the old ones than helping the audience get to know them.

Also, there's a weird happening here that I always fail to understand. So these movies are supposed to be part of something bigger, right? Which is why they consistently try to sell future installments, but they always fail to do that because each movie and show are completely disconnected. So when you watch them you feel like the story doesn't stand on its own and only a future product will explain it... except when they come they don't explain anything either. It's like we're forced to look forward the entire time because what we have in front of us makes no freaking sense whatsoever.

For instance, MoM is not a Stephen movie, that much we know, but it's not a multiverse movie either. We see other universes in a 40-second quick sequence and the only new thing we learn is about incursions. This didn't happen in the past, if you watched TFA but missed all the others the story was contained, it made sense, it was character-driven. The same can be said about Thor even the IM movies - the excitement for what's coming next would only come in the post-credit scenes, now the hype for future products consumes the entirety of the movies and series, and things happen to the characters instead of the characters being the catalysts of those events.

This insane unreasonable content schedule that he mentions is definitely the problem and I couldn't agree more with him when he says they should drag them out. We don't need 7 movies and 8 tv shows in two years, that's absolute chaos. The MCU shouldn't be a chore, it should be a hobby, Disney has enough money to get by with just 2/3 movies and 2 shows a year, nobody needs more than that.

To finish this let me just say a couple things I disagree with:

I swear I feel like I'm the only person on this planet who loves Ant-Man and the Wasp. I had so much fun with that one, I don't understand why it's always ranked as one of the worst lol

I disagree about Moon Knight dragging out things, I feel they needed all that time to really flesh Marc and Steven, even Khonshu. I do agree it picked up the pace post ep3 though.

What he says about Black Widow (that it's pointless for the MCU as a whole aside from introducing Yelena) is an argument I don't understand. I don't see why we should define the movies based on what they provide for the greater MCU story, it's a nice standalone that focuses on Natasha and at least for me any product that puts the spotlight on characterization is a good product. Also yeah... I love that movie so I'm biased lol

Oh and he says he didn't watch Eternals. I have, and it's okay I think. Not perfect, it would have worked better as a series imo, but it was fine.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

🔥I’m Alive🔥

In the literal, physical sense, at least.

See below for a long ramble about my life and what I'm working on. No reason, really. Just felt like shouting into the void. 

Not like I'm a super popular writer or anything, but maybe some of you have noticed that I've kinda disappeared over the last few months. Long story short, I went back into restaurant management, despite such a position sending me on mental health leave a few years ago due to a lack of work-life balance and deep depression.

That leave + regional lockdowns during the early stages of the pandemic were actually what got me back into writing in the first place. I rediscovered a passion I had had in high school, and had since abandoned because I didn't have time to do anything other than work, and then partake in less than productive activities afterwards with coworkers... where all we would talk about is work. The restaurant industry is emotionally and mentally draining, my dudes.

So, I wanted a change. I moved back home and told my parents I wanted to focus on writing while I bartended part time. They were supportive at first, but when I wasn't pumping out original work quickly, they started pushing me towards full time work. Money is important, I get it.

Unfortunately, I'm not qualified to do much else other than manage fancy-ish restaurants and I am really good at it. So, I tried again, and dropped off the face of the universe. Sure enough, I was tasked with an inappropriate amount of responsbilities for garbage pay and I once again found myself letting my hobbies (which are very important for my mental health) slide. I left that restaurant and have taken another restaurant job that I start on Monday... It sounds like it will be easier to manage. Fingers crossed.

ANYWAY, that’s why I haven’t been posting or updating much. On top of that, I feel like I’ve lost a lot of inspiration for my current works. I’m so tired and drained all the time, and just thinking about my fics is almost overwhelming. It brings me down often - how am I supposed to enjoy life if all I do is work and I don’t have the time to do the things I love? I’m terrified of sliding into a deep depression again.  Thankfully, one fic lives rent free in my brain. You see, I’m working on a sequel to Crystal Clear - my fever dream of a Steven Stone/Reader fic that I wrote in like a month (the things I can do when inspiration takes me...). The thing is, I’m not sure if I will ever post it. 

I’m conflicted. I had an idea for a sequel as soon as I finished the fic. It would take place a couple months later and would be a fairly long, fluffy one shot with a happy ending to make up for the bittersweet open ending of CC. But then, I had a dream. 

Let me tell you, dreaming the continuation of a fic you wrote is pretty wild and super immersive (probably because the world and plot and everything is SO PROMINENT in your subconscious). It was nothing like the follow up I had planned, and something I really didn’t think I’d ever be interested in writing. When I woke up, I was left with a lingering feeling of confusion and loss and a bit of a “...huh.” The more I thought about it, though, the more it made sense. And then I started sitting down and actively planning it out and yeah, I feel like it flows so nicely with the other fics in the series, and carries over many recurring themes. If you look at the end of CC as “the bad ending” (because really, they made a choice, and it was probably not the best choice to make, albeit the safe one), I feel like the continuation is sure to reflect the regret and resentment that would build between the characters.  I decided to embrace the “reader” as an OC. I gave her a name. I solidified her story. She was already more a character than “reader” anyway, but crossing into the Steven Stone/OC fandom is kinda scary and I don’t know how this will be received. And not only because of that - the fic deals with some themes that are definitely not everybody’s cup of tea, and I’m scared of people who liked CC being like “wtf is this?” because it isn’t the continuation that they pictured for themselves as “reader”. Not to mention, there’s a significant time skip, in which the characters have changed and grown and developed. What if people think they’re OoC because of how I’ve interpreted their reactions to certain choices? I feel like these characters are no longer “Steven” and “Wallace” and “reader”, but different versions that live in a completely different world that belongs to me. 

I’m a few chapters in, and I’m really loving how it’s turning out. I think it might be my baby, my labor of love. And that’s why posting it and not getting much reception (or negative reception) for it terrifies me. But I also want to share something I’m proud of. And I know I shouldn’t be writing for other people. I should be writing for myself. But validation and praise are nice and they make me feel good and I DON’T KNOW, I’m just not sure what to do. 

It’s not like I need to decide now, anyway. I’d like to write some more chapters before I start (IF I start posting), so there’s time to think about it. 

So yeah. That’s my ramble. Thank you for listening, void. 

TrashPanda out. 

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

okay so a whole of 5 people (and then myself so i could see the results) have answered yes to the poll SO. we'll start with the strange ones and work our way backward

(p.s. it feels important to preface this by saying first of all it's 3 in the morning and i've been working on this post for the better part of an hour and have gotten sidetracked several times during it so i'm not sure this is at all sensical to anyone but me lol . i MIGHT try and clean it up a little and make it a little more comprehensible at some point, but i make no promises.

second of all this very much so blurs the lines of just straight factual canon BUT i think most of it is reasonable to assume in turn with real canon. but also please keep in mind im working on a reboot of the trilogy and may have gotten some of THAT canon mixed up in there so please take this with a grain of salt lol.)

my little reason why ; lisa hannigan (steven universe)

dimitri about the cooper gang i think. admittedly this one is mostly just about vibes and the last lines* but it makes me Emotion so you get it anyway. i can also see this as the panda king just less so

*"My little reason why / You make me want to try / Loving you"

rambling in-depth breakdown/analysis below the cut ! for being a spur of the moment association bc i thought about dimitri with this stuck in my head, it works surprisingly well <3

er. to me anyway.

so im gonna talk about this like it was written for this intended purpose and like it's all just a big metaphor even though it most certainly was not lol

"Cold palace walls / And endless empty halls / Haunted by echoes of laughter"

metaphorically about the klaww gang. like they were a TEAM sure but i doubt they really liked each other, y'know? i cant imagine bison and the contessa putting up w dimitri any more than they have to.

i take the "haunted by echoes of laughter" in part as dimitri being like the outcast of the Klaww Gang so the others are laughing but dimitri himself is not, hence the haunting and the echoes. but that's not CANON canon so like who's to say. but i think it's not a far fetch all things considered. but the halls could very well be haunted by echoes of laughter post-klaww bust where they've been disbanded if that's more your jive!

"You gave the pull / And suddenly they're full / You've thrown the gates open after you"

continuing with the Palace is a Metaphor For Teams thing im doing presumably the "you" is sly & the rest of the cg! the halls are full and the gates are open because they actually like care about each other and don't view each other as means to an end. i point out sly specifically bc he's. well. the leader of the team (or at least who you would assume as the leader at a first glance but that's a ramble for another day) and also bc he's the one who talks to dimitri first.

and probably the first one to like befriend him but that's blurring out of factual canon. but if you want to continue blurring those lines then "throwing the gates open" could be read as like. if sly's the first one to get comfortable with him presumably that's going to encourage the others to as well so it goes from work acquaintances -> work acquaintances and sly -> friends/found family

"And swept in with the throng / Comes this wonderful song"

okay this part i dont have much for i was honestly just gonna put it with the last part or the next part lol BUT it could be framed as dimitri's redemption* arc of sorts . like i said i have the least abot this and is there a mouse above me hold on

(it was not. leaving that though 'cause it's funny.)

anyway. like i said i have not a lot about this part and less that's actually fit into just straight canon but like consider it as dimitri swept into the throng and the wonderful song being. well in a literal sense the next few lines. but also in a less concrete way metaphorical heart singing about finally fitting in in a team that doesn't suck ass you know. like i said not very solid. but it makes me Feel Things so.

"My little reason why / I'll never make you cry / Oh, I have got the sweetest things to tell you every day"

again more about his redemption* arc. something about not making them cry anymore bc he's not a sucky dude anymore. my gay found family heart says it's about the found familyness .

also the "sweetest things to tell" is just him getting comfortable enough with the crew to infodump about boats /j

in a more serious sense (though not by much) i cannot imagine a world in which he does not talk a very much. so i am sure he does certainly say a lot of sweet things every day . and again i can't imagine the klaww gang putting up with him beyond the necessities so i imagine he says a lot more sweet things to the cg than he did to them but as is to be expected with me that is Blurring the Lines still so .

"My little reason why / You make me want to try / Loving you"

again with the redemption* arc . still blurring my lines here but i'm sure if the klaww gang weren't fond of each other than dimitri is definitely not going into the cg with high hopes . but as he bonds with them he learns that they don't suck actually. so he's coming out of his metaphorical shell (sorry bentley) as he learns that the cooper gang is not just a team or "cold palace walls and endless empty halls" but they're like actually friends/family. so he can try to (platonically, in case you couldn't tell)** love them.

*redemption played fast and loose here bc he is still definitely part of a team of master thieves and therefore still on the unredeemed side of the law but redeemed as in working with sly/the protagonists, ya dig? of course ya dig.

**no offense to everybody who ships him with people in the cg thi just personally reads found family to me and i just want to make that clear lol .

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

(From the post you just reblogged) One thing I want to tell you: You are geniunely making me want to go and watch the Invader Zim series. I knew I enjoyed it when I was a kid the few times I could catch it, even if the grotesque stuff threw me for a loop sometimes, but seeing how the fandom is still active and how there was a relatively recent movie for it makes me want to re-experience it now with grown eyes!

Honestly. Some people tell me that they don't even watch Invader Zim, but read Tech Support.

Tech Support is my HUGE BABY of a fanfic (sorry lofi I love it a little more) and is a complete re-telling of the series in an order that makes chronological sense, from Zim's Computer's perspective.

It is so much more than that, but I do find the research and rewriting and tweaking of trying to make Invader Zim a more serialized show instead of an episodic events show was super fun, and I'm hoping to get back into it when my free time opens up.

Honestly, I never got into Invader Zim until 2019 when Enter the Florpus came out. I saw a few of my old mutuals reblog excitement and news about an Invader Zim movie, and I realized I myself had never seen Invader Zim. So I gave it a chance.

And I hated it. Hahahahah

Well, okay, hated is a strong word. I just found it pretty formulaic for the first few episodes.

Like "Alien with anxiety comes across a normal human thing, misunderstands it in a horrible and grotesque way, hilarity and dark humor ensues"

And that was the formula for a good chunk of the start of season one. Even episodes like Dark Harvest didn't really grab me that the show was something special.

So......

When the Steven Universe Movie came out... I gave it a second chance.

Thank god I did, because then I saw "The Wettening" and that was the episode that made me stick with Invader Zim, and I could tell how amazing and expensive the animation was for the time, and how Grey the protagonist and antagonist were. Zim and Dib change roles on who the Protagonist or Antagonist is depending on the episode, and I could finally see how Dib was being utilized as a character, and that's the episode where the show really found it's footing and knew what it wanted to be. It was about the rivalry between the two boys. It was about petty Elementary schoolyard fights that dissolved into a massive global threatening scale... and that's when Invader Zim is at it's absolute strongest and when it shines the most.

The Wettening really saved the show for me and made me continue watching.

I'm so glad I did, because then I watched the Steven Universe Future Movie and Enter the Florpus as a double feature. (AN EXPERIENCE I DO NOT RECOMMEND. YOU WILL BE EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATED BY A FUNNY LITTLE SCREAMING ALIEN MAN MOVIE AND CRYING BY THE END WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LAUGH)

I owe a lot to Invader Zim.

It's how I met a lot of lifelong friends on tumblr when my Naruto fandom friends were starting to move on and grow up. (we hardly get together in the group chat to just talk about funny memes and junk... It's all adult stuff like weddings and job hunting and bleh)

It also came at a time when I was processing a lot of feelings about the grief of the loss of my father. While it's been over six years since he passed away, and I don't miss him as much, working on the Post-Florpus AU helped me process a lot of feelings I felt about my father, parenthood, and seeing a show about a little green alien man in the world with no supportive parental figures, fighting a little boy with a stand-offish father who was trapped in his lab and hardly paid mind to his son...

Idk, it meant a lot to me when I was living alone in a studio appartment and shutting off all my emotions.

All my work about Invader Zim is deeply personal to me, and I want to see it finished to the end.

Anyways, I was kind of rambling all over the place, might of got deeply personal, but I do find it funny about how a show of a little screaming green man, can be so funny, yet so deeply personal to me, and helped me deal with processing death, at a time when I was pushing everyone away from me.

Funny how that works, and I don't even think the creator knows how deeply Invader Zim touches the hearts of the outcasts, abandoned and the grieving.

Cause the show is funny. Like there's an episode where they legit say "Pee Pee" over a thousand times.

But it's that kinda show.

I just love Invader Zim.