#but I keep imagining just like a whole ass rock somehow being in there

[5-pounds-of-carrots]

there’s something so harrowing about hearing strange clacking noises from the dryer like what is Happening in there?!

[lv-iceprince]

DAD SEUNGMIN PLS🥺💕 loved the hyunlix one!!!!

ahhhh thank you thank you for requesting! it's people like you who make it a joy to write! ye ye ye

~~~~~

🤎🐾 puppy love~ seungmin as a dad

~~~~~

*~alexa play higher by albert posis~*

🐻you know the feeling when you’re just so in love that your braincells cease up. yeah that's seungmin the pussy drunk guy who was still shocked at the news of the pregnancy like he wasn't the one who knocked you up even though you just had sex two weeks ago

🐻it's the seungmin way to flash the brightest smile even though he is just confused, and that is literally the mood the entire time he is a dad, he mightn't get it sometimes but he'll just go along with it

🐻is somehow the most prepared person in the entire universe even though he pretty much just sits there being himself, don't question it

🐻everything was unexpected, yet he was still so unbelievably stoked to even have a baby with you. he was and still is such a sentimental guy when it comes to his relationship with you and his love and admiration for you and your relationship keeps growing regardless of whether you were pregnant or not

🐻but on that note he thinks you're absolutely glowing these days and seeing you like that makes him the proudest husband or husband to be and he would definitely be the type to make you feel more at home around his family and creating a happy life and vibes for you and your baby

🐻he definitely doesn't see your baby as a pet, that would be terrible but he 100% was the one to keep insisting that he gets to choose their name. it's.... different but in the sweetest way possible so imagine this, meeting seungmin you were absolutely whipped by his wit and intelligence and you knew that dates with him would be memorable and in this case the first 12 dates were so unique and creative in the way that you did the same thing each time

🐻you would receive a text to say the was having a day off and that he wanted to go out, you'd wait for him to meet you on the corner of the dorm rooms and once he was in sight he'd give a cheerful wave and you'd proceed to walk to his favourite park and once you were there you would talk about anything on your mind as he nudged the rocks with his feet until he found a pretty one to give it to you just so you could go and skip it across the water

🐻 which makes sense that he pushed the name beomseok which simply means "pattern of a rock"

🐻repeat after me, seungmin definitely doesn't think your baby is the same species as kkami or berry but seungmin happily passed down his puppy boy role to beomseok and dress him up in cute costumes just to spam his entire list of contacts with photos

🐻everyone will know what beomseok looks like, they could pick him out of a crowd thanks to seungmin's monthly updates

🐻every day is a dream because 9 times out of 10 you are waking up to both of your boys smiling brightly. the boys actually get the harsh version of seungmin if they knew seungmin would become this soft during fatherhood they would have adopted many many kids

🐻his kid pops up everywhere and i mean everywhere : on an ad for diapers, skz-talker, music videos, on stage. home boy has a cute ass kid and he lets the whole world know, home boy also has the contacts to make that happen plus your child is a natural entertainer

🐻father-son baseball games whether that means attending games in matching jerseys or actually playing in the backyard

🐻side note- since he was so excited to actually play baseball with his son he definitely set his expectations too high thinking they immediately knew what to do when the ball was flying towards him aka he has totally thrown the ball at his kids head

🐻everyday you hear a lil wahhhhhhhhh from the kitchen, peak seungmin noises as he does a cute little jog around the house trying to escape your sons needy cuddles

🐻seungmin's energy is 1000% contagious so now you are gifted with not one but two seungmin's

🐻oh my god, this kid has everything that they could ever dream of and though you play a part in getting that to happen seungmin is a huge part of why their room is so cozy and comfortable, the brown and orange fairy-tale autumn tones all year around, the plush bears-he gets all cliché too with having mama, papa and baby teddy bears

🐻he definitely gives off the energy of the dad who walks his kid to school and even though he's rushing to get them there on time he's the one getting distracted by a random squirrel or the bug beomseok found

🐻different idol but this is literally dad seungmin and i'm screaming

🐻lastly, dad seungmin is like a calm family vacation at the beach where you huddle under the jetty building sandcastles, collecting sea shells and swimming until it gets dark, he is gentle, fun, meaningful, entertaining, a sense of strong support but most importantly he is yours

[shojizbae]

Hobie's Innocent Girlfriend

Hobie Brown x Fem! Reader

♛♜

Can you just imagine Hobie with a super innocent type of girlfriend? not that creepy type of couple where a guy dates someone younger than him and she's all infantilized. His girlfriend is actually older than him but she was raised in a conservative protestant house (the national religion of Britain) and hasn't shaken her upbringing despite being in university. They met in a guitar class, (her being classically trained and wanting to expand her skills) Hobie was there because he could sneak in and figure out a riff that he hadn't yet nailed.

She was instantly fascinated by him because he looked so different than what she was used to seeing. Heavy chains that rattled with every step and scratched pin on a sleeveless jacket caught her eye. He spotted her because she looked like something off of a private school pamphlet. neat long coiffed hair, thin gold wristwatch and pleated skirt. everything about her screamed elitist old money.

He was shocked though when she walked over at the end of the class. She told him his name and pointed to a pin on his denim vest.

"What is a sex pistol?" she folds her hand behind her back.

"It's a band. They yell at rich pricks for acting like they are better than the rest of everyone."

"Cool!" he tries to carry on the conversation but she continues to get pissed off by her. Everything she is is everything he stands against. ad going against his grain is pretty rocking. She is one bonnie. He claims that he slowly seduced her. In actuality, she was the one who accidentally got him hook, line, and sinker. They start dating after a month or two of knowing each other.

Hobie is so irredeemably in love with her. And they look so out of place with each other. Half of her belongings are pink all of her socks have ruffles. Hobart is so grungy and dirty compared to her. But (Y/n) is absolutely enamored by him. She is fascinated by how different and real he is. Every time she comes over to his house she looks out of place but it makes his heart ga-lump every time he sees her picking through his collection of vintage pins. One day while looking through his desk full of knick-knacks she finds a neglected spiked bracelet.

"Hobie?"

"Yes, love?"

"Can I have this bracelet?" he hears the clink of a snap and sees the ratty piece of leather with tarnished pewter spikes. He notices how it looks so out of place on your ‘pretty in pink’ look and his heart thrums at the disruption.

“Yeah love, looks great on you.” He tries to bite back the smile forming on his face.

Another time you two are making out and and you get caught on his lip ring. Not physically just mentally. Your in his lap, straddling him, finger threes in the back of his hair. He’s got his hands on your ass and he uses them to keep you as close as possible. He tries to pull back for air but he notices that you’re adhered to his lips like a damn leech.

“Dear, what’s gotten into you?” He smirks in contentment

“I love that little hoop Hobie.” She smirks and half licks her lips

“Yeah?” He questions punctuating with a kiss.

“Yeah.” She chases his kiss as he pulls away.

“Well maybe we should get you some.”

“Ok,” she climbs back in him taking a more dominant stance than before. Hobie loved when she got riled up. She was so hot. That following night Hobie found a piercing shop and even booked an appointment.

Hobie had to hold her hand the whole time she was getting pierced. She didn’t go so extreme as he did with his dermals. Instead she walked out with a bar through her tongue, a nostril hoop, and seven different cartilage piercings. It was going to be torture not to kiss her for “4-6 weeks” he rolled his eyes at that. Somehow though her body healed much quicker than the piercer thought and she was able to return just 16 days later to get a smaller bar in her mouth. She did add one nipple ring and something glittery in her bellybutton.

Hobie was over the moon about being able to kiss her but now he could only play with one titty and he loved both of your titties. He was extra tic to see you become a more punk person while still holding all of your values. And your hole punched ears could be easily hidden if you wore your hair down. You did however have to skip Christmas claiming sickness instead of returning to your family.

Hobie was beside himself. On the one hand Christmas is a Marxist celebration that’s been stripped of its initial pagan roots and been commercialized into a plot for capitalism. On the other hand you were very upset that you couldn’t go home to have mass with your family because you knew they would disapprove of your piercings and of Hobie. Both things you loved endlessly.

I order to cheer you up Hobie had to sacrifice all of his pride. He bought you a few presents, mostly thing you’ve said you need for your flat which he has sporadically moved into. He pinned mistletoe on oversold way with tape because your landlord is a complete asshole. He made you breakfast in bed and told you to get dressed. There was a church nearby and as much as he hated organized religion he hates to see you upset far much more.

The whole time you were smiling. You sang every word to every song. Even before the priest was done quoting the scripture you would cite it. When you got home he made brunch as you set out presents around the tiny plastic tree. Every time you passed through a door way he would trot over to you and say something sly like

“Oh look what we have here? Looks like you need to kiss me.” And you two ended up turning off the stove and shagging like animals in heat.

slowly though, you start to rub off on him

he starts using your fancy expensive ass skincare. You find him napping under your giant fluffy chunky knit blanket; especially after late-night spider escapades. He especially takes on your drama shows and soap operas. He loves when you throw one of your fluffy robes at him when he forgets to grab a towel after the shower.

Eventually, he wears you down enough to introduce him to your parents. they're terrified of what he could be because for over 2 years you've hidden him from them. they're shocked because you squeezed him into a cashmere sweater and slacks. His hair was combed and his piercings had been removed. You manage to scrape through the dinner with no bonfire temper tantrums from your mom. When you finally get back in your car he sighs and tears the sweater off. He drives you home completely shirtless and is grunting and moaning the whole time.

"Love, if you ever make me wear a button-down shirt again, I'll cut the nipples and arms off of it."

"What?" she shreiks

"Yeah, and I'll shag you in front of your old man."

"Hobie!" you slap his bare chest

"I can't help it love, you get me going." He put a hand on your thigh and gives them a gentle rub.

"Hobie wait until we make it home!"

"What, c'mon! You won't even jerk me off a little babe? Please?"

"Well, you sit with the thought for a moment. "You did so well playing house for me. And, you look pretty hot right now." you pull your seatbelt from behind your back and shift your hips around "Maybe just a little." you pull your hair into a ponytail and pull down his zipper. Let's just say Hobie's foot was on the gas pedal all the way to the apartment.

[allbimyself65]

Yandere Naga Bakugou x reader

This one's kinda all over the place and the ends abrupt but I still hope you enjoy first time writing smut so enjoy!

Yandere Naga Bakugou x reader

Warnings: Yandere, rape/noncon, overall bakugou’s an ass

Word Count:1790

When you were a little old you decided it would be a good idea to go camping in the woods alone after seeing some influencer do it you were definitely wrong. First of all you didn’t even like the woods of nature for that matter. So why you decided to do this was a mystery. 

You’re already not having a great time so imagine your horror when you see the 8ft tall monster that is naga bakugou. On top of it he’s severely pissed of at some dumb human messing up his terratory. As a pension he was originally going to kill you,but after seeing how cute you are he decided to integrate a little further to see if you’re suited for a certain role he has open.

“What are you doing here you dumbass human?” he shouts more aggressively than ever needed.

You’re shaking like a leaf and he’s only said a sentence at this point god had abandoned ship there’s nobody to help you. The only thing keeping you together is that you’re hoping you can string two and two brain cells together to make a coherent sentence and convince him not to souffle you.

“I-I’m just wanted to go camping but, uh-well-um it’s not really suited for me. I'm not exactly great at this whole um nature and defense thing so I’ll leave and never come back if you just let me go.” Your fumbling over your words at this point wondering how you’re still breathing after that stupid comment about you being defensless and how idiotic you must be to admit that to something that clearly already considers you an appetizer.

Bakugou was already sold on you after you admitted how you couldn’t really defend yourself, he knew almost nothing about humans but that didn't matter they were close enough in species. He thought the batting of your eyelashes and the quiver of your pouting lips made you look absolutely adorable to him. Perfect as a mate for him to care for and breed. So he didn’t want you fighting on the way home or knowing how to get out of the forest in case you somehow got the fucking smart idea to try and escape him. So he lunged at you and bit you with a small amount of venom to knock you out.

When you woke up you were traumatized to say the least. Waking up in a bed made of flowers in a weird cave. You looked around and recognized the snake man from yesterday. Your brain jumped and latched onto the thought that he was going to eat you so you slid off the bed very carefully and went towards the light and what you assumed was the entrance towards the cave. Of course as soon as you put your feet on the ground with a light thump, Bakugou heard and immediately woke up from his nap on the rocks he was sunbathing in. Slowly slithering and standing up with a drowsy look on his face he went up towards you and mumbled

“Going to get food, dumbass , try and escape I’ll hunt you down and drag you back myself so sit down in the nest and if you move your ass if mine got it?” he said getting angrier at the thought of you leaving the nest. While he said this he was gently picking you up and putting you back in the heaps of picture perfect hand woven flower bla=nkets and you now understood why celebrities sometimes had their pillows filled with flower petals.

“Y-yes I’ll stay put” With that threat blazing in your mind you decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go back to sleep in the bed or nest as he called it. Laying down and cocooning into the blankets you slowly drifted off to sleep. At least this time you thought it was willingly and not forced.

Bakugou returned with the food and looked at your sleeping form and was very smug to say the least. Looking at your tiny cuddling and being so submissive to his demands made his pride spike higher than he would’ve liked to admit.

“Hey human wake up I brought food” with the little knowledge he had of humans he understood they could eat fruit so he brought them some and pushed it towards you. Rating most of your meal in silence even though you had a million questions in your mind you choose one of the simplest ones and blurted out.

“What's your name?” he swiveled from where he was eating and looked at you and shouted 

“Bakugou katsuki dumbass now don’t go fucking forgettin’ it you hear me” you nodded quickly

“I’m Y/N L/N” you replied quickly eager to get answers from you other questions

“So why am I here and when are you letting me go?” you spoke this time with a little more need and want in your voice from the desperation of not knowing the answers to this question.

Bakugou let out a sigh before saying,

“You’re here because you’re my mate and that’s non-negotiable. You don’t get a choice if you're too small and too weak to fight off anything yourself so that means I have to take care of you.” Mentally slapping yourself for those comments earlier you felt rage boil in your bones for the audacity to take you because he didn’t think you weren't capable enough and made you seeth.

“Now listen here you weird ass snake I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself and don’t forget now thank you for the meal I’m leaving go find another mate.” you said more confidently than you’ve ever been in any of your past talks.

“NO you’re staying” he said yelling at impossible loudness.

“Yes I am” you said fully confident with that tone you reminded yourself of your parents scolding you pride surged within you from the confidence and you began walking away what you didn’t expect was to be yanked on over next to bakugou by his tail and into his arms.

“You’re staying my little mate and I don’t care what you think about it, you're mine” he said scathingly now, getting angered at your defiance and wishing for your previous submission. What you did next was unthinkable, and undoubtably stupid. You slapped him. Big mistake.

“Little mate you realize now how big of shit you’re in as punishment for you being a brat I’m going to fuck the living day lights out of you.” he said while picking you up and throwing you on the nest.

“Wait! No, no, no please! No!,” you spoke voice became panicked as he began to strip you”I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please stop!” you were blubbering out now as he  got impatient and ripped off your clothes. Then in silence you saw his cock. Big, thick, and long you panicked you couldn’t imagine that fitting inside you. Hell you didn’t want it inside you in the first place. Bakugou took two of his fingers lined up against your puffy pussy while saying “Going to make you regret that my little brat, gonna fuck you till you can’t walk.” He pushed his fingers in making them in a scissoring motion before putting in a third then started pumping in and out his long fingers hitting things you’re stubby ones could never. You couldn’t help it, you were moaning like a bitch in heat, everything felt too hot, and it was all too soon. Deciding he was pleased with how he stretched you he lined up with a long veiny cock and pushed in the tip making a scream erupt from you. He ignored you begging to stop and pushed in further until finally he bottomed out on you. MAking you feel like you were stuffed and to be honest you were stuffed full of bakugou;s cock. He pulled out and then pushed back in slowly as if doing a test drive. He smirked at your form. He muttered. 

“Going to make you my best breeding bitch, a proper little whore for her mate” he said with a glint of excitement in his eyes as he watched you squirm at the embarrassing words and you absolutely needed him. The self restraint you had gone and none you needed bakugou dick inside you everything feeling empty and  hot but not hot enough.Bakugou being the observant man he is takes advantage of this pushing in quickly hitting a sweet spot and making you moan and obscurely lude moan. He pulled all the way out.

“C’mon my little slut begged for me to fill my fat cock in your tight little pussy.” he said arousal clear in his every being.

“P-please I need your fat cock please! Fill me, make me yours, I'm yours, your mate just please fill me!” you begged with every word more shame filled your body as the embarrassment would be too much later. At this point though you didn’t care, want and need overtook pride at this point. Seemingly satisfied with your answer he slammed into you staring at a brutal pace. You couldn’t see anything but stars and white. Everything falling out of your mouth was incoherent and not even you knew what you were trying to say with moans falling out of your mouth as bakugou ridiculously huge cock made you feel like a drunk whore. He was also having a god time milking you pussy for every drop it had while saying things at this point turned you on even more like “Fuck yeah bay come one let that tight pussy squeeze aroudn my dick” He would occasionalyl slap you to have him quench around you more that or he was reminding you why you got this punishment in the first pplace. With yours and his orgasm approaching faster than a bullet train you moaned out.

“Bakugou please let me cum need it! Need i so bad!Please let me cum!” happy with your begging and groveling he replied “Go on baby cum around my dick.” which you happily complied with screaming while you did so. Bakugou came after with a groan shooting thick hot ropes of come that painted you quenching pussy walls. He was still fucking you while your orgasm happened and you couldn’t feel anything except white hot pleasure. This went on for two more rounds before bakugou eventually became tired. He looked down truly taking in your fucked out face and knew how truly helpless you were. Well it’s a good thing you had bakugou as a mate now wasn’t it.

[max-nico]

Last night I had the weirdest dream but it would make a really good fic if I'm fr. The only part I remember vividly is the part where Tails fell into a cave, I guess it's more like the ground opened under him and swallowed him whole lol. So obvs his friends start looking for him after he doesn't make it to where they're all supposed to meet up at.

Kitsunami (who was very much not part of the search party) ends up accidentally finding him after finding a different entrance to the cave, except instead the ground opening up under him he finds the actual entrance. The ground ends up being super slippery so instead of just having a normal time, he falls, and ends up somehow tumbling all the way to the bottom of the cave.

Now from this part of the dream on I only had access to whatever Kit was seeing for whatever reason. He finds Tails pretty quickly, even tho he didn't know he was even lost and they end up having to work together to get out. This cave system was super weird too, it was a bottom layer that had water up to their knees, a higher layer that was essentially an ocean, an upper layer that was desolate but an actual maze, and then there was ground level. Maybe that's just how caves work but I don't think it is.

So this whole dream is dark, Tails had a flashlight that helped a little. They escaped the bottom layer by chipping into the ice above them to get into the ocean layer. (Unrealistic note, the water did not flood in, it just stayed at the top and they had to jump to get up there lol) How did they breathe here? I don't remember ! I do remember there being little bits of land they could walk on tho, and the only reason I remember that is bc at one point Tails had this scary ass look on his face that I can literally only describe as fear incarnate, but he wouldn't let me(kit) turn around to look at what made him look like that, so I have no clue what he saw and he acted completely off for the rest of the dream too. (<- this is common for me when I have nightmares, people in dreams tend to direct me away from the scary things and not let me look at them, but I suppose after having only nightmares for 4 years your brain has to protect itself somehow lol)

After the water layer they got to the dry layer, I don't really remember a lot from this. My most vivid memory is Tails pulling Kit out of the water with a queasy look on his face, there's a few moments of walking I remember, but nothing really interesting.

Then they were out of the cave, once again from a completely different entrance, then I don't know lol. I know Sonic and Amy show up but past that I have no clue, after that I started dreaming about school.

Some visual cave representation for you bc I remember this so clearly, I literally got up, unplugged my phone, and immediately started typing this.

Bottom layer

But instead of just rock, imagine a mix of solid white ice, crystal, and rock, and also it's really really REALLY dark lol. It's over all just a confined, claustrophobic space. There's barely enough room for the two to fit in there standing up, im sure if Sonic was there he would have to crouch

Middle layer

I have a huge fear of large bodies of water, as well as caves, as well as the dark. This contains all three. As I stated there were obviously air pockets somewhere around here but def don't remember how they got there lol

Top layer

Keep in mind, it's still WAY darker than this lol, but this is the last layer before the surface. Just a giant maze of rock and maybe a few crystals, very backrooms core lol.

[yurislotusgarden]

Heya Yuri! How are you doing? For the Christmas fluff prompts, can I please request number 10 with Sigma and a gender neutral reader? I can imagine Cotton being really freaked out by seeing snow for the first time so darling reader decides to... absolutely capitalize on this and pelt him with snowballs until he's giggling and shivering from the cold LOL-

Bonus: You know how Sigma wears lots of layers? (Like damn, a long coat, a dress-shirt + tie, and a whole-ass turtleneck XD). Reader 100% dropped snow down Sigma's turtleneck just to see him jump and scream, just saying, it's a canon event XD.

ʚїɞ Throwing snow under clothes is such a dirty move. I love it

ʚїɞ Sigma x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 841

ʚїɞ The event

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, is not specified

ʚїɞ This is placed in his first year of damn existing, reader is a friend, the casino is above the clouds so there shouldn't be any snow even see up there but let's say that for this the casino was floating lower (?)

ʚїɞ Hey anon! I'm doing great, thank you very much for asking. Hope your day is going/will go well depending on when you read this :D

A person could be seen looking over at the bi-color-haired man as he let out a small scream, breaking the comfortable silence hanging over them in the man's office.

“Did something ha-”

“What is that?!”

You let out a confused hum at seeing Sigma pointing at something out the window.

“There's nothing to scream about?” You spoke confused. The only thing that can be seen outside besides the usual view is-

“What's that white thing?”

“‘White thing’? You mean the snow?”

“That’s snow?!”

Oh

Somehow, it never crossed your mind that Sigma has probably never seen snow before. 

“Yes, that's snow, cotton.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Never.”

With a teasing smile after the small usual banter, you got an idea that you were sure Sigma would agree to…

“Wanna go out and feel the snow?”

“Are you crazy?”

…One way or another.

///////////////////////////

“WHY IS IT SO COLD?!”

A laugh could be heard nearby. You just stared and didn't dare to say anything but encourage the bi-colored-haired man as he reached out to touch the snow-covered rocks. It's always way more fun to see him acting like the complete opposite of what people know as the owner of the casino, you would even say that it's kind of a privilege to see that side of him being shown so easily around you.

“Don't laugh! Why did you tell me to touch it?!”

“I didn't tell you to do anything, I only lightly encouraged you.”

“You're the reason why I'm even outside!”

“Your point?”

Sigma could only sigh before getting lost in thought. Why did you even want to go out? It was so damn cold, everywhere he looked he could see mostly white, the fact that the two of you went to a place with no people was the only thing he was grateful for. He should try to get an answer someway soon-

“WHA THE-”

Sigma got forcefully snapped out of his thoughts upon feeling something softly, his mind supplied hitting his back *twice* if he counted the time that he got hit when turning around, just to see you with something in your hand. 

Wait is that-

He had no time to think when he tried to dodge yet another snowball that, he now realized, was being thrown by you.

///////////////////////////

Sigma had to literally hide behind anything in the vicinity soon enough as he realized that fighting back with his own snowballs was useless when you had a literal army of them and he was also slow at making them. 

He had no idea when and how did you even made all of them. Was he out of it for so long or were you someone that makes snowballs really fast? He had no idea nor time to wonder as you moved closer to him again and he had to run, Sigma was already covered in snow from all the hits he took. He really should stop laughing to himself and making it easier to find him again and again, shouldn't he?

///////////////////////////

White.

That was one word to describe the bi-colored-haired man when looking at him. Sigma was covered in snow, now trying to shake it off with a small grin as he couldn’t stop smiling after all the laughing for the past 20 or so minutes, as you finally stopped attacking him with a million snowballs, he swore it felt personal for some reason but even though you stopped, he still decided to keep an eye on you.

At the moment, you seemed to be just having a little bit of fun while waiting for him by scooping up snow and letting it fall back to the ground. He deemed it safe enough to look away for now since you seemed to be occupied with your own thing and not planning anything.

Little did he know that it was a grave mistake.

Should he try getting back at you? But how would he do it when he would obviously lose in another snowball fight? Maybe he should try and beat you in making the thing called ‘a snowman’, if he remembers the name correctly, but wouldn't you be better at it due to experience? What if he-

Due to his racing thoughts, Sigma failed to notice that you were getting closer and closer to him.

His train of thought was broken upon feeling something incredibly cold sliding down his back, worse, he realized in a second that it was under his goddamn clothes.

You wished you had recorded the situation as the shriek that the casino owner let out before trying to get the snow out from under his clothes was something you wished to show to Nikolai. Another thing to tease Sigma over was going onto the list.

///////////////////////////

“I am never going out with you into the snow again.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?!”

“I mean why, like why don't want to?”

“You're unbelievable.”

“I'm trying, thank you.”

Looking at the fact that Sigma didn't seem too mad about it, you decided you are definitely doing it again.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

Masterlist

[unlicensedmortician]

bad movies with j&j: divergent part two electric boogaloo.

- they have multiple personality traits. which means they are the worst people ever.

- i can’t even go “this is such obvious propaganda how is anyone falling for it” bc ive been on twitter recently

- oh girl that haircut is really bad

- that haircut is “this is the first time i’m asking for a masc haircut and the hairdresser my mom took me to just goes with fuckass pixie cut” bad

- “only a divergent can open this box” be so fucking for real. what are you talking about. it’s a magic box? that only a divergent can open? because they’re so special? because they’re acoustic? what are you saying

- hey . what? “i need to kill jeanine” didn’t a large chunk of the plot of the last movie revolve around how tris doesn’t want to kill people. what’s happening

- “tris you can’t just go around killing people”

- caleb. shut up

- “hey how do these people know you? why are they looking for you?” “:)” hey king that’s not? an answer?

- this man’s mother looks like. 28. he looks older than her. what the fuck

- she and tris look the same age?

- four looks like he’s 36. he looks like he has a mortgage. he looks like he doesn’t pay child support. his mother looks 29 at MOST

- THE ACTRESS WAS IN HER FORTIES IN THIS MOVIE?? GIRL WHAT IS UR SKINCARE ROUTINE!!

- tris rocking up in a forever 21 ass outfit

- hey caleb are you wearing a white tshirt a denim flannel and a suit jacket made by carhartt?

- ah yes the ya dystopian female lead uniform: extremely fitted utility vest with 25% of ur back exposed and nothing underneath

- christina girl what was she supposed to do

- “i’ve been assuming all divergents are the same” and you’re supposed to be the smartest bitch alive?

- oh i wonder who could be the most specialist special one of them all

- “sometimes i think i see lights out beyond the wall” wow that’s crazy girl

- jester said she runs like a sim and they’re right oh my god

- i can’t tell if i keep zoning out or if this movie just makes no sense

- this fucking guy again?

- summary execution. average good guy behavior

- wow she’s 100% divergent? she’s who they’ve been looking for? that’s fucking crazy. who could have seen this coming.

- oh shit girl you fucking kilt him

- is this nonbinary representation

- girl how did you get a full beat and a blowout in this economy

- can’t get over how much jeanine looks like a pastors wife

- yeah ok that was a pretty effective way to send a message. also, what the fuck

- i feel like. this whole divergent problem could be solved if you just didn’t mention that they exist and let them pick a faction and stick to it. like they would probably just do that.

- please don’t make me watch them bone on screen i can’t do it

- oh yep she’s turning herself in. thought so

- i feel like most people would be pretty willing to try to stop innocent people from being forced to kill themselves no matter what their dominant personality trait is but ok

- peter is kinda serving cunt tho

- “it’s ok u can kill him if you want we have plenty of guards” “… WHAT” ok. that was funny

- damn they acupunctured her

- i love watching actors do a muscle up that engages absolutely none of their muscles

- unfortunately i just think these trial sims are kinda dumb as hell and i don’t really care that much

- standing in the shower really normally tris

- this movie is almost completely relying on tris being a pretty skinny blonde white girl in order for you to care about what’s happening

- this is giving me a migraine

- tris you look really stupid unfortunately

- hello?? is she fucking dead??? there’s a whole other movie with her in it ??

- also like. what the fuck is in the box

- imagine if it’s just like. a piece of paper that says “i fucked ur mom”

- ok slay go off peter. i guess. sure.

- he’s the realest bitch here

- tris vs tris with an even worse haircut somehow

- honestly couldn’t tell you what happened in that last simulation

- plot twist! the entire base concept of this worldbuilding is fake and made up and contrived!

- so she’s the savior of humanity? with that haircut?

- yeah that’s p average dictator behavior

- do you guys think the milf is gonna end up being the new dictator

- and there’s a whole other movie after this ¿? this sort of feels like. the conclusion.

- she’s soooooo special. oh my god. what ever

- oh fours mom shot jeanine. ok

final thoughts: hm? huh? what? this has to be one of the stupidest things i’ve ever seen. sorry to everyone who was really into this in 2014 i will not be changing my opinion. how do i get @ghostcasket back for showing this to me i genuinely can’t think of anything

[askoverlordvox]

Any opinions on the Exorcists, or at least some of them?

Current or former?

Eh, fuck it, I’ll assume you meant the ones still alive and wearing the uniform. Let’s see, which juicy ones do we have…

Oh, there’s @ask-lute, the leader of that sad sack outfit. I kinda feel bad for her. Can you imagine thinking you’re actually immortal, then watching hundreds of your sisters-in-arms die in front of you, along with your commander- that would fuck anyone up! But not Lute. She’s still the same angry, blind, holier-than-thou bitch who sneered in Charlie’s face. Heh, I’ll be honest- I have a soft spot for Exorcists. Fragile puppets on strings they tied themselves… and they never wanna believe it.

Who’s next… oh! @exorcist-ava is a fun one. Poor trash panda pigeon. I can’t talk too much shit without pissing off @askoverlordcarmilla but just know that Ava’s got the spunk that puts a smile on my face. No matter how many times he gets dropkicked into oblivion, that fucker gets back up and goes back for more. Really sensitive over his… medical condition, though. As much as I hate to give Al credit, his whole ‘smile’ routine is something Ava could take to heart; never let ‘em know how much they hurt you.

Fuck, almost forgot @exorcist-milan420, out here doing the fucking most to prove that no matter how low rock bottom is, you can keep fucking digging! Bitch is gonna end up in Hell at this rate. One wrong turn and she’ll be in front of Sera, and knowing that loud mouth, she’ll spill that she’s banged two of her precious little seraphim. Oh, how the fireworks will fly! Eh. I give her shit but I honestly love that walking dumpster fire. The drama! The angst! The fucking weak ass edge! I love this Fanta headed bitch! Not sure which reconciliation I want more: her and Sarai or her and Ava. Hmmm… it’s her and Ava; her and Sarai give me some top notch porn but the antics Ava and Milan can get up to? Call that shit viral!

Now… who else? @exorcist-ray is a medic, which is interesting- and different from the others. On the upswing now that Sera adopted her- though that’s a… touchy subject. I don’t see her as being too much of a problem, though.

Then there’s @exorcist-timpani… I like her color scheme. Would love to hire her, get her on the payroll somehow, but I don’t know how I want to work that angle quite yet. Hoping Ava can bring her out of her shell a bit. She’s timid but there’s a fire in her eyes- not to mention she’s got beef with Al. Heh, I can’t wait to see what happens next time she encounters that bastard. With back up, of course.

There’s too many of these bitches- and too much they collectively get up to, not to mention how many people they bang, and don’t get me started on the ones who Fell- so that’s all I’m gonna do for now.

[samxid]

Hey guys, I'm pretty sure this painting is haunted (SM64 Theory)

What a God awful thing to have in your basement. But let's wind back and talk about why this thing is so out of pocket.

So in Super Mario 64, we control Mario as he goes to princess peach's castle only to find out she has been kidnapped by Bowser, and he has hidden the 120 power stars in a bunch of paintings. The thing is, as the years have gone by, it has been pretty much implied that the castle from super Mario 64 is NOT princess peach's real castle, and it's instead it's just a private art gallery she has because OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE A WHOLE ASS CASTLE THE SIZE OF AN IKEA JUST FOR EFFING PAINTINGS ONLY SHE GETS TO SEE. In any case, most of these paintings have been turned to portals that lead to the places depicted inside of them, or something.

See, the thing about the game is that not only do some paintings send you to different worlds. Pretty much everything and anything can do that if Bowser's right testicle told him to do it at the time. What i mean by that is that there are a LOT of things that are not paintings, but still contain levels.

The first time we interact with such an instance is on "Bowser in the Dark World", where i shit you not, you fight Bowser in the Dark world.

pictured above: Mario gets canonically invis-walled. thanks nintendo.

This level is accessible by being swindled by a literal fucking painting, only to have the literal floor pulled from under you. This, as you might imagine, is not a painting, but rather a black void that somehow contains the level. Cool. What does this mean? let's keep looking at more examples and then schizo out come out with an explanation.

The next time we find something like this, depending on how you play the game, will be at either big boo's mansion, or at the water moat level. We might touch on those on a later post, but for now, let's just head to the basement and see just how non-painting centered the whole thing is.

So the first level you can access (besides lethal laval land) is a hidden level under the name "Shifting sand land."

You can make the argument that this level counts as a painting. And depending on who you ask, you might be correct. Slight issue, though.

Pictured above: The beautiful painting of shifting sand land, depicting all the people that have played this game and not punched air while trying to talk to toad. It might looked like a literal wall with nothing interesting, but that's because, save for the level it leads to, this wall is meant to look like any other wall.

The level is, in fact, not meant to look like a painting, but rather like a wall. This is because you are meant to chase mips around and dive into them, before accidentally face-planting into this wall, thus realizing it moves like a painting, and then going ' 0: ', because you just found a secret level.

In any case, this is a hint that this floor of the castle has an identity crisis and thinks it's cool to make everything levels. The next thing that is not a painting is this tech demo disguised as a subtle design element.

Pictured above: Mario jumps out of a septic tank like the turd he is. It's amazing how, despite jumping into human waste, he somehow comes out shinier than before. This has deep implications about Mario's personal hygiene.

Hazy maze cave is a weird fricking level that has you jump into something that looks like liquid mercury, has the same texture as the metal cap, and we all think is supposed to be a septic tank. This is because the room is surrounded by pipes, and the level itself contains both rolling rocks that have literally no explanation for existing (and only appear on this level, mind you), and it contains a whole maze filled with toxic gas that will kill Mario if you are either caught with low health courtesy of some real strong enemies, or are somehow stupid enough to just stand there and breath it in for too long (otherwise known as "being a game journalist").

In any case, we can laugh at the idea of funny feces on the funny nintendo game all we want, since it PROBABLY means nothing and it's not like we can schizo out find other similar things in the same floor, right?

Anyways, here's yet another similar thing in the same floor. If you are somehow skilled enough to play the game and get things done, you might eventually find yet another tech demo, this time colored blue to make it look like water.

Pictured above: Wait, what the fuck? that's not what the level looks like! the wiki got it wrong! can't a lazy fucker gamer™ steal source credible images anymore?? Where did they even found this? Fine! Let's me steal someone else's picture instead. I'm too lazy to get there on my own anyways. you need, like, 30 (thirty) stars, a rabbit, or a very snappy finger to get it, and i don't feel like dealing with that nonsense.

Pictured above: A picture of dire dire docks, proudly stolen from a nibirus gaming let's play without his consent, like, at all. Hi, nibirus! It's fine, youtubers don't have humans rights anyways, i think... or was that vtubers? meh. he speaks spanish, it's not like he could also happen to know english, or that we have the tools to translate stuff or anything.

ahem! This is dire dire docks. A level that only features a submarine dock on the last half of the level, and is not really dire under any metric. Why they named it that is beyond me. It's likely that this is supposed to represent the water supply of peaches castle, considering it's location near both the way out to the moat on the front of the castle, and of course, being right next to Bowser in the fire sea.

Picture above: Mario ponders what kind of hellish alternate reality he has wandered up in where the room containing both levels isn't the fancy schmancy room it normally is. You might say it's the game's personalization, but i think it's the guys at the wiki getting sloppy on their ploy to make SM64 look like a real game. YOU CAN'T FOOL US FOREVER! I KNOW IT'S JUST A REALLY, REALLY GOOD MOCK UP MADE IN PHOTOSHOP!

That is, the level named "Bowser in the fire sea". Why they named it that when it is not really a sea made of fire, but lava, and Bowser it's not really in the sea of lava is beyond me. It would have made sense to name it Bowser in the lava sea, or Bowser's super lava structure, or something. whatever. Anyways.

By looking at the little chimney thingy you have to jump into, we can infer that this actually part of the heating system, which would make sense to have in an art gallery, since paintings need special cares, including specific temperatures to avoid damage. It's also right next to the thing we established as the water supply, so it checks out.

Now, looking at all this, you might have noticed that there's something that sticks out like a sore thwomp. It's quite obvious that the castle's basement is supposed to be off limits to any and all visitors, and as such is kept under key so only authorized personnel can come to do repairs and such. Now, with this in mind, tell me, WHY THE F U C K IS THIS HERE?

Pictured above: Mario stands in the water of a flooded basement he was probably supposed to unflood. come to think of it, how come there's still water here even after you unflood the moat outside??

Like, hello?? this thing has a little stage to itself, two torches to keep it bright, and it's the only real painting in the whole basement! (fuck you shifting sand lands. more like shitting sand lands ammairait? jk, love you baby gurl ❤)

It's almost like it's meant to be unseen! like it was... vanished.

Think about it! The first floor of the castle (main entrance) seems to contain paintings of historical significance:

Bob-omb battlefield probably depicts some kind of big war that took place.

Cool cool mountain depicts a cool cool mountain... three times, so it's probably important.

Whomp's fortress has an enemy fortress or something of the kind.

Jolly roger bay has some kind of important port that used to have a big-ass ship on it. Not to mention they literally have a whole aquarium with live fishes next to the painting, so it's definitely important.

The room that has the trap probably is supposed to be a room containing all previous rulers of the mushroom kingdom, but Bowser probably fiddled with it to turn it into a trap, (which, by the way, in the old footage of the game, it was meant to cry out for Mario with peach's voice, which means that it was most definitely tampered with by Bowser even more heavily than all the other rooms)

and the room with the stained glasses also probably has some kind of other relevance under normal circumstances. Probably a secret escape route as some people theorize, though i think the way out to the moat through the basement seems to fit this use better, in my opinion.

Also, the top floor is most likely either the main attraction or something of the kind, since it has all the more eccentric exhibits, such as the mirror room, the tiny huge island room, and the clock room, which is yet another floor, mind you.

So, back to Lethal lava land, why the hell would that painting just be down here? as is? for no reason!? because it's haunted, or too scary to display. It probably gives peach the creeps, at the very least. I mean, hell, where would you even display that to begin with?

Seriously! this thing has a damn Mr. I in the level! those things are associated with haunted or cursed levels!

So yeah, i think this thing is haunted and was left down there to rot. never to see the light of day again. What do you think?

Credits to the mario wiki for the pictures and that one youtuber i stole that one picture from lmao.

Thanks for reading all these dumb words i wrote out. this was really eating me up inside. Also, i can't believe i spotted a mandela effect on those pics of BFS and DDD. By the way, my internet went out thrice while trying to post this, so you goddamn know how damn right i am about this.

[androgynousblackbox]

My dog died and all I got was sore arms

I haven't slept in at least twelve hours, people, so I better take the chance to keep this rush going until I inevitably crash all the way down. I just want to talk about today. Warning because it gets gross and graphic because fuck me, I guess. I had to live this, I get to tell it.

So the day started as normal. I went downstairs with Oscar so we could both get some breakfast. We had agreed to see the vet at 12 and it was way before that, so I thought eating something would give me a push of energy to keep awake. I haven't stopped petting him all night, only when he himself wanted to play a little or drink water. After that I kept him with me as long I could.

I go downstairs and I see Oscar trying to take a shit. This is important because it has been four days already since he wasn't abled to and the vet told us that his tumor had gotten so big that was obstructing anything from coming out, which was very bad because it could become toxic inside his body and then, boy, that is going to be some painful ass death and we don't want that.

I look at him for a bit, but soon I start to get panicked because not only nothing is coming out, he is still pressing so fucking hard. Little drops of shit go down and he is still trying, dragging his body across the floor, until I see something just about to come out. I can't see it clealy but it looks red so I, ever the optimistic, immediately think that those are his intestines and he is actually hurting himself, if I somehow don't manage to get him to stop he is going to fucking die from blood loss after shitting his organs out. When I try to clean his assholes with the paper towells I just can feel something hard and I have no fucking clue of how intestines being shit out have to feel, so that doesn't help me at all.

You see, this was around 8 in the morning. I was the only one awake in the house. The vet appointment wasn't until four hours later. I call mom to please contact the vet, please get him here so he can give him something for the pain, something, anything, and while she is dressing herself up… he manages to shit a enormous shit that looked hard as a rock. After doing that I still had to clean his asshole with my hand. After a little freak out to my mom because I honestly thought he was going to fucking bleed to death in my arms, I manage to calm down and get Oscar back into my arms. Obviously with some old raggedy ass sheet we were never going to use again anyway because the diarrhea could get on my legs.

Now, it has been weeks since his last bath so he wasn't smelling like fresh puppy already, but now there was that to account. Trying to avoid the stains on his fur I still hold him and pet him, telling him over and over again that I loved him and kissing his head. His fur, the parts that weren't stained, was still so soft and white.

When it's time to go, the entire way I am thinking of somehow running away, to delay it a week more, a day more, but I know that would have only made it worse for the both of us. We get inside the vet's place and let me tell you, on my insides I am still mad at this man because he didn't prepared me for absolute shit.

He first put a tranquilizer on Oscar, but didn't tell me that it would take ten whole fucking ass minutes into doing anything to him. So when I saw him moving his head still and looking around, imagine my fucking surprise when the vet is back after preparing the rest of the stuff and he is still moving, more than willing to bite him for doing more shit he doesn't like.

He also didn't tell me that the effect of the lethal injection would be near instant. Like actually so. One second I can feel his breathing and the next he is gone. And like, that is stupid. It's stupid to feel upset about that. Because if anything that should be a good thing, right? It was all so quick he didn't suffer at all. Like just turning a switch off. But Jesus fuck, would have killed this man to tell me ANYTHING before doing it, TO GIVE ME A WARNING? So I could give him the last belly rub, because I was concentrating on holding his head instead. I wanted to give him a belly rub. He deserved that belly rub.

So he is gone and I have a small little breakdown right there, as you fucking do, and they put him on a cardboard box. Oh, also I put a lock of my hair with his body. Last night I cut as much hair I could off him to fill a little crochet heart I made, so in my head that makes sense. I have a little something of you, you have a little something of me.

I am not religious, superstitious or anything like that. But it means something to me that a part of me remains with his body.

We drove to a place my aunt own where she had told the gardener to make a hole for us. Call me a privilege asshole, because I really must be to think that the gardener himself would be there to wait for us to put the box down and then he would bury him. You know, like in normal funerals for people. The entire way there I can't help to feel that suddenly my arms are too light. My arms that carried Oscar up and down the stairs the last weeks, that carried him to the vet all those times since his diagnosis, that hold him the entire night, were too light and that felt so alien, so wrong to me.

But he wasn't a person, he was a dog. And the gardener probably had better things to do than stay there and pay respects for a dog he never even met. So the hole was there, the pile of dirt was there and against a tree there was what I can only describe as the absolute shittiest shovel that has ever existed on earth. That thing offended me the very moment I laid eyes on it.

Like, most shovels have a proper handle at the end and curve into a triangle on the side that actually goes into the dirt. But this bullshit, this shitty ass thing, was nothing but a metal squared tube ending on a small metallic plate that was only slighty curved. If the gardener actually used that to make the hole, that was rather well made and sufficiently deep, I am going to be fucking impressed.

There wasn't anything else to use, though, so I shoveled that dirt myself until my hands were red, my arms hurt and even my legs were pained. I am an artist, and also a lazy fuck, so you can only imagine my noodle ass arm not being used at all to that physical labor. Mom kept offering for us to do it together, but no fucking way, man. Oscar deserved this, Oscar was in so much pain and suffered so much for so long, so the least I could do is to suffer a little more for him. He was mine. I owe it to him. It was only fair.

That burial was a labor of love. I am proud of doing that for him. I still hope the gardener has his own shovel that is better than that bullshit. But I am glad I did it.

Once I have a proper nap and my brain is back again to it's usual speed I will have a bad time and start missing him and think all sorts of awful things because he isn't here anymore. I will miss him. I miss him now. I don't regret one second I spend with that dog.

On the way back home the soreness in my arms was all I could ask for. Oscar wasn't there anymore, but I said goodbye the best way I could and he is not in pain anymore.

Que Descanses En Paz, Oscar.

[jellyfishoreo1206]

Dating HC's with Daniel and Nostre

This idea came to me when I was about to sleep, got out of bed to write it down so I wouldn't forget it in the morning (⁠ー⁠_⁠ー⁠゛⁠)

Had my ass looking like this:

I was listening to the live stream that came out like, 8 months ago

And like the part where Part just says while drawing Bubo "You think he gets bitches?" And I absolutely lost it

Reader will be gender neutral

This is really my opinion on what it would be like to have a relationship with them, so please don't get mad at me

-----

Cuddle sessions are a MUST when it comes to sleeping together or whenever you guys wanna relax

Just a pile of limbs as y'all huddle together, especially in the winter

I can imagine Nostre being somewhat touch-starved, and his love language being physical touch

So a cuddle session would be a regular thing for you three

For some reason, I can imagine Daniel being somewhat of a menace in the shared kitchen

Because he has butterfingers, and he was able to break a spoon along with several plastic bowls, with multiple bowls, plates, and cups to add on (projecting myself onto Daniel a small bit)

If you have a favorite mug/cup/plate/bowl, don't let Daniel anywhere near it

So he's banned from the kitchen, and if he wants to get something to eat like a snack, or make something small, someone has to be there to supervise him

"C'mon, I'm an adult, not 10! I only like, broke one bowl!"

"Daniel you broke 4 plastic bowls in 3 hours. How do you manage that??"

"You have to be Daniel to somehow do that."

He's pouty about it, but he understands

Nostre, I feel like he's an amazing cook

But like he doesn't have the time or the energy to do so

But when he does, BOOM taste buds are in heaven

Nothing will taste the same no more, his cooking will absolutely ruin how everything else tastes

Activities or date ideas would probably just be either staying inside or karaoke night

Activities inside would be either finding a new recipe, watching a bad movie/show just to make fun of it, cuddling, taking a relaxing spa day at home, or just sleeping in.

It's a rare occurrence when you guys do outside activities, as it's LA and everyone is everywhere

Walk into a place that's near a popular area? Packed

Going out for a walk near a famous mural? A whole ass line at 8 in the morning just to take a goddamn selfie

So you guys usually stick to karaoke most of the times

Now pets

Nostre I feel would always be the one to bring a stray animal home, it just seems to fit his character, and Daniel too

"Nostre, why's your coat moving?"

"Ah, just some, uh.. paperwork?"

They are both trying to hide the stray's that they both bring home from you

*meowing coming from the coat*

"...please don't tell Y/N."

"Never dreamed of it!"

When you do find them however, they always convince you to let them keep them

But when it kinda gets out of hand, you have to put your foot down

They are both devastated, but they understand

I feel as if their music taste vary at times

Nostre would probably be the kind to listen more to indie songs/folk, and maybe a small bit of jazz, blues, and pop at times

Daniel, very influenced by pop music, glam rock, indie rock, punk rock, and jazz

Honestly I can see him being very open to all music genres, expect for country

He has a disliking for country and he doesn't know why

[solradguy]

Intentionally or not on his part, Sol is probably the reason any kind of Queen media has survived to the present day in the guilty gear universe

Yeah I think about that a lot, too, especially since his surviving piece of Queen media is something as fragile as a vinyl record. With the Dawn of Revival being catastrophic enough to level entire cities, it makes me wonder just how many vinyl are left in the world of GG. Like not even just Queen records, but vinyl as a whole.

A lot of music archive places are in big cities, like the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame's archives are right near the heart of Cleveland (Ohio), with the Hall itself pretty firmly in the center of it so, if Cleveland got leveled, that's a lot of music history just gone forever.

Sol probably had his Sheer Heart Attack record from pre-DoR too, which means he's somehow managed to keep it intact for like 100 some years plus however many years old the pressing of his record is. SHA is a pain in the ass to find now here in 2022, I can't imagine how hard it would've been to get a hold of before stuff like Discogs and eBay lmfao. I'd probably be pretty attached to my Sheer Heart Attack record too if it was basically the only thing I had left from before the world went all to shit haha. Sol needs to hurry and get that thing digitized.

[idolswrestlingadventure]

Survivor Series (1987)

Right! The first Survivor series, okay let’s go. How does this work then? So a team of multiple people exchange places and the last team is the winner right? Makes sense! And the team on the outside absolutely keeps position and will not interfere, right? Haha yeah okay…

So moving on, let’s consult the teams and the matches they inhibit.

When you're torn between calling the big game and leading the Mayflower crew...

So let’s start with Jesse “The Body” Ventura coming out dressed as a pilgrim and stating that “I’m gonna have me a good time on Turkey Day even in Cleveland if you can imagine that!” So I guess it’s Thanksgiving, and that Cleveland sucks? Gorilla monsoon fails to comment on this fact. We get the breakdown on what qualifies as “rules” in this event and I have to say I kinda dig it. Having a last-man-standing kind of event does mix things up a bit from the standard 1v1 brawls.

Elvis is alive...to kick your ass

Brutus Beefcake, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat V Dangerous Danny Davis, Harley Race, Hercules, The Honky Tonk Man and Ron Bass - I’m seeing Macho Man and Ricky Steamboat on the same team and thinking, honestly how can they lose. Combine with other meaty stars like “pure ‘murican patriot” Jim Duggan and a man who uses a python for intimidation and I can’t think how the other team can shape up! 

Pre-match promo from Honky Tonk is quite unhinged, everyone jeering themselves up including The King, and Hercules just gurning in the background, working the rest of the cocaine out of his system. Meanwhile Macho Man’s team seems to struggle to get themselves heard over a local rock band playing in the background.

This was a high energy match for sure and that matches the talent being put in the ring. Macho man getting the majority of the cheers. Ultimately Randy gets Honky Tonk out of the ring who bolts it in the face of superior numbers. Good drama, solid introduction to this format of wrestling. -Tier 2-

Velvet's choice was pinfall or yoga, not both...

The Fabulous Moolah, The Jumping Bomb Angels, Rockin' Robin and Velvet McIntyre V Dawn Marie, Donna Christanello, The Glamour Girls and Sensational Sherri - So a few female wrestlers I’ve seen before; Velvet, Moolah and the Glamour Girls have made appearances in the previous entries. Though I’m not sure what WWF’s status with Women’s Wrestling is at this time as it seems to be treated as a serious match over the TNA appeal featured in later years. 

There is definitely energy going on in the ring with lightning fast takedowns and flips going on all over the place. But I think the most interesting combatants here are the Jumping Bomb angels, who secure the win with some impressive in ring acrobatics and drama as Jimmy Hart once again bites the dirt. -Tier 3-

"And which section of Hot Topic do you get your outfits from..."

The British Bulldogs, The Killer Bees, The Fabulous Rougeaus, Strike Force and The Young Stallions V The Bolsheviks, Demolition, The Dream Team, The Hart Foundation and The Islanders - I think this is too many people, however I do recognise Tonga Fifita as the father of Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa, and the whole Bloodline angle going on in modern wrestling, considering how 90% of modern WWE is Anoa’i related I like seeing their fathers in the ring. Somehow the Killer Bees are here joining the Rougeaus who seem to be trying to compete on style over conflict, and somehow still losing.

I think somehow this match has too many people in it, and despite gimmicks and personalities, overstays its welcome a little bit. There are bits and pieces of relevant drama, slams, cheers and cheating, however at over 37m long it’s hard to keep my attention. That being said it’s a fairly exciting fight if you can stay tuned, with a dramatic finish from a fake masked Killer Bee, yes, I said that, those words happened. -Tier 3-

"Please, look at my array of large men..."

André the Giant, Butch Reed, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang and Rick Rude V Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Hulk Hogan, Ken Patera and Paul Orndorff - I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Andre is such a freaking huge man, literally dwarfs the announcer two to one. Even King Kong Bundy, who would actually be a reasonable contender for Andre, seems tiny in comparison. First appearance for me of Bam Bam Bigelow who I understand becomes a bigger deal in the future, and The Rock? Oh wait no it’s Don “The Rock” Muraco, who probably got some legal action with Dwayne Johnson’s estate, who comes into the ring looking like he took all the steroids. Come on man, leave some for the rest of us…

This match probably has the best hype and action of all the others tonight. And that’s even with a surprise count out to Hogan mid match, which almost seemed like a botch until he came out post-match to bring the heat to Andre. Some superb wrestling from the best in the business at that time with Andre taking Bam Bam by pinfall. A great conclusion to a fun event! -Tier 1-

"Let me tell you brother, I can't see a freaking thing"

Notable Dialogue:

Hulk Hogan - “There’s no rules when you deal with mother nature, there’s no insurance policy whether you die or survive. But I tell you what, I’ve done everything I could to cover my back man!”

Jesse “The Body” Ventura - “I’m gonna have me a good time on Turkey Day even in Cleveland if you can imagine that!” Survivor Series (1987) Rating: 8 Batshit Crazy Promo's Out Of 10

Up Next: The Royal Rumble (1988)

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 || (very dark) 70s!Bucky x reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: he tried to be sympathetic to your cause, he really did, but he couldn’t just let you get away with disrespecting him like that.  

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.4k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: smut (noncon, plus breeding kink and tons of degradation, like very heavy degradation, and multiple orgasms/overstimulation), misogyny, a bit of dumbification, housewife kink, ‘sir’ kink (brief), choking, implied anal, spitting (not on the reader, unfortunately lmao), quite a bit more than period-typical sexism, awful awful awful this fic is absolutely awful

                            Brooklyn, 1970.

Bucky’s mornings were sacred.  He had his rituals: showering, cooking breakfast, reading the paper and having his first drink and cigarette of the day, all before he left for work.

But throughout this entire week, his mornings had been ruined by the stupid fucking protest in the park just outside his window.  And to think he’d actually paid more for an apartment with a view of the park— he hadn’t realized then that the “view” was gonna be a bunch of hippies creating awful music and an unbearable smell that left his whole apartment reeking of reefer if he dared to open his window.

Attempting to ignore it for a week only made him more resentful with each passing day.  Each time he figured the crowd would surely leave soon or at least be quiet for the night, they seemed to somehow get louder just to spite him.

He probably should've waited until he was a bit less agitated to go down and try to bargain with you, but he stormed down there instead and tapped you on the shoulder when his presence alone wasn't enough to distract you from your incessant chanting.

“Would you consider being quiet?" he asked firmly.  "I have to work in the morning and—”

“We won’t be quiet until women have equal treatment under the eyes of society and the law,” you interrupted to explain condescendingly, shocking him with your icy tone.  He could hardly believe your attitude, in fact he couldn’t remember any woman speaking to him that way in his life: so far, he wasn’t enjoying it.

“I just thought you could be a little more respectful,” Bucky shot back, even more stern.  “You’re not making anyone wanna support your movement by acting entitled and inconveniencing everyone.”

“I’m sorry the revolution is inconvenient for you,” you replied, but it didn’t sound much like an apology. 

He wanted to say more but you blew him off and disappeared into the crowd, leaving him confused and irritated and livid.  Up until now he had been quietly skeptical about all this talk of liberation but now he saw it for the poison it really was.  A girl like you— who could've been a real looker with some willingness to try and a better attitude— talking to a man like him with so much hate and over what, a polite request?

This could not be tolerated; he couldn't let you get away with acting like that.  And lucky for you, he was exactly the guy you needed to teach you your lesson.

The good thing about hippies high on shrooms is they aren’t the most observant.  When he returned to the demonstration area the next night, he was able to grab you roughly and pull you back from the crowd with almost no trouble at all, dragging you into an empty alley and clamping his hand down over your mouth as your eyes went wide and your throat vibrated with silent screams.

“Shh, shh,” he soothed against your ear, “whatcha fightin’ for?”

He liked the way it felt to have you squirming against his grasp, using all your strength and not even getting close to escaping.  

“How does it feel to know I can do anything I want to you?” he growled against your ear.  “C’mon, sweetheart, can’t you put up a better fight than that?  I thought you believed in equality… you should be able to get away if you’re as strong as I am.”

He felt your warm tears trailing down around his fingers which held your face tightly, the struggle of your limbs slowing and weakening slightly.  His cock was already getting hard as he imagined the moment you would finally give in.

“You remember me, don’t you?  You didn’t need to be so rude, darlin’.  You could’ve just been nice and none of this would be happening.”

Your elbow shot back into his ribs and he exhaled sharply but didn't let go, grabbing your wrists and holding your arms to your chest as he pinned you to the wall.

"Oh, that's not gonna work, babydoll.  I'm so much stronger and bigger than you, all you're gonna do is make me angrier.  Is that what you want, sweetheart?  To make me angry?" he asked mockingly, leaning in to lick the shell of your ear as you tried to turn away.  “Pretty girl like you would make a great wife, why would you want anything else?”

Ignoring your struggle, he reached into your shirt and purred as he groped your chest, your nipples hardening when he pinched them.  “Maybe I can get behind this bra-burning thing if it means having easier access to your tits all the time,” he grinned.  “How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself when I can see them through your shirt?  Shouldn’t be showing ‘em off if you don’t want any attention.”

As fun as it was to play with your tits, he had bigger plans, so he reached lower to start tugging down your jeans, your legs uselessly kicking as he exposed your ass and thighs.

His cock was already rock hard as he hastily opened his fly and pulled it out with one hand, leaning back to spit on it quickly.  He spread the fluid with a few strokes over his length, figuring it would be enough to get inside you even if he didn’t really care if he hurt you.  

Your eyes went wide and your head bucked wildly as he poked the head of it against your opening, your body fighting a little harder once again.  The irony of that, though, was that you were already plenty wet in spite of what he had expected; it was so much funnier to watch you struggle now that he knew you were not-so-secretly enjoying it.

“Don’t be so dramatic," he chuckled darkly, "I bet you can take a cock real easy since you believe in all this ‘free love’ bullshit.”

He groaned as he pushed into you, impressed by how tight you were— so tight that it made his cock throb right away, your walls pulsing and rippling around him as he filled you to the brim.

“Oh fuck, there you go…” he hissed, smiling as you sobbed harder and struggled a bit more before finally relaxing into his tight embrace.  "You're gonna take it all, baby, every fuckin' inch of me."

A hard sob choked out of you every time he slammed himself to the end of you; he could feel the hatred radiating from you, the way you would kill him in a moment if only you weren't so weak.  But he could feel your reluctant acceptance, too, and the way it was slowly turning into euphoria— you were finally starting to like how it felt to be helpless to him, it was obvious with the way your pussy gave him such a warm and willing welcome while your pretty tits got even harder.

You clearly wanted to hate him, but your body knew better.

"You think I'm a sexist pig, I'm sure," he chuckled, "but I'm really not— I love women!  And you know what I love most?  Huh?"

He felt you nervously shake your head behind his hand and he laughed.

"I love the way you get so dumb when you get a cock in you.  All those useless little thoughts leaving your head when you're finally getting fucked right."

Your cries got louder even though they were still muffled by his hand, your sweet little pussy giving him a squeeze of encouragement.

"It's okay to like it, babydoll, it's what you were meant for.  Made to be my brainless fucktoy… born to serve me," he growled.  “You really should learn to appreciate," he grunted between brutal thrusts, "that your only purpose is to keep my dinner hot and my cock warm.”

Your eyes rolled back in your head and he felt your walls bear down on him tightly, wetness seeping down around him.

"Oh fuck, are you coming?  Shit," he moaned.  "Looks like you really needed to be put in your place, just needed to be used... god, you made a fuckin' mess, too, you soaked my cock…"

Your little hands tightened into fists, pushing against where his arm held them back, but he stayed steady as he pumped into you, letting himself get a bit lost in the feeling of you while he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

It felt so damn good to have a cunt coming around him, but it was even better knowing that you were fighting it and still couldn’t stop it, completely helpless to how good he was making you feel.

You almost screamed under his hand when he reached down to quickly rub your clit, your back arching to try to run away from his touch; poor thing, you were so sensitive it probably hurt you, but he was having too much fun watching you realize you were going to come again.

"Yeah, gimme another one, slut," he grinned, your legs quivering as waves of slick coated him and started to even drip down your legs.  "Can't stop coming like the dirty whore you are, huh?  Bet nobody's made you come like this before— cause nobody's given it to you right.  Nobody's shown ya what it's supposed to be like when a man takes you and makes you his."

From the way you moaned softly, teary eyes fluttering shut, he knew you liked the sound of that.

"Yeah, wanna be mine, baby?  Wanna be my little slut?  Or do you want me to pump this pussy full and leave you here on the ground for any other man that comes by to use you if he needs?"

You groaned softly, a weak little noise, and he felt his cock flex; as much as he wanted this to last as long as possible, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“M’close, honey,” he breathed.  “I’m gonna come.”

He laughed breathlessly when you shut your eyes, like you were trying to go somewhere else in your mind, trying to pretend this wasn’t real.  But it was real, and he wasn’t going to let you forget that.  He was elated to make your nightmares come true.

"I sure wouldn't mind pulling out and covering that pretty face you've got,” he hissed.  “It'd be funny to see you go back to your little march and show them how owned you are.  But not today, babydoll, I think there's only one way you're gonna learn your lesson."

Another muffled gurgle from you, and this time it didn’t even sound like protest.  Maybe you were just too tired for that at this point, but it gave him hope that you could finally behave.

"I'm gonna take my hand away from your mouth and you're gonna beg me to come inside you, is that clear?" he grunted, feeling you nod vigorously.  "You're not gonna scream are you?"

You shook your head, and he slowly pulled his hand from your mouth as you gasped for air.  "Please— come in me," you panted.

"Address me as 'sir'," he instructed.

"Please, sir, I— I want you to come," you whined.

He chuckled right against your ear, feeling you shiver in his grasp.  "Honey, I don't give a fuck what you want."

To think you ever resisted your natural desire for submission was absurd now, considering the way that statement made you openly moan, your walls fluttering around him.

“Gonna fill you so fuckin’ deep you’ll never get it outta you, sweetheart.”

One more orgasm washed over you, making him laugh darkly while he watched you bite your lip to attempt to stay quiet; but that was impossible once he fucked you harder just to spite you, having to hold you tight to make sure he got as deep in you as possible.  Your whole body shook as he slammed into you, and he laughed at how dumb and helpless you looked.

"Bet you're on those new birth control pills," he grimaced.  They really weren’t that new, but he still hadn’t gotten used to them.  "Makes me sick to think you're letting a perfectly good womb go to waste.  Betcha want me to breed you nice and deep, yeah?  Wanna get knocked up?  You don't even care that I'm a stranger, you wanna get your pussy filled by any random man's come so you can have any random man's baby, ain't that right?"

At first he had worried that you would scream or cry for help, but now his concern was more that your moans would be too loud and somebody would catch the two of you in this alley.  Even if it was obvious now that you wanted it, public indecency was still a crime.

Good thing he had a new way to shut you up: his hand tight around your throat, silencing your sobs to blessed silence.  It was so hot to have you entirely at his mercy like that, to feel your pulse beneath his fingers, that he couldn’t stop himself from speeding up his thrusts suddenly.

"Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he gasped, “fuck, y-you… little whore…”

He had a habit of running his mouth when he was right on the edge, and the way your pussy was milking him for all he was worth made him spit out whatever filth he could think of.  

“Stupid fuckin' bitch," he mumbled under his breath as he fucked you as fast and rough as he could, chasing his high with no regard for your pleasure or your pain.  "Dumb whore, fuck, you stupid— ah, shit— stupid fucking cunt!"

He cried out as he filled you, groaning loudly with every pump of his seed into your waiting body.  Only when he was sure every drop was inside you did he release his grip on your neck, a loud gasp coming first before a few coughs and chokes that only made his cock harder despite having just filled you.

You started to struggle again, and he couldn’t believe it— after everything, did you still not know your place?

There wasn’t much time to relax and enjoy the afterglow when you were already trying to get away, and so he had to hold you tight again while he smiled exhaustedly.

“N-no,” you stammered, and he covered your mouth again as he pulled your head back to rest on his shoulder.  Clearly he hadn’t done enough yet to fuck that word out of you.

“Where ya goin’, sweetheart?” he panted against your ear, still catching his breath, his chest covered in a thin layer of sweat where it was exposed by his shirt.  “You’ve still got another hole to fill.”

[multishippers-trash-blog]

What a Night... (Sundrop x Reader x Moondrop Stripper AU)

I do not apologize for this. Enjoy! Part Two will be out soon!

Well. Let's start it off with this. They never imagined themselves having another shared birthday after the Pizzaplex burnt down. Then again, they refused to die in that cursed fire. On a plus side; the whole main crew following in tow. Surprising, isn't it? The broken main crew made it out with Sundrop and Moondrop, to all share their first breath of freedom together… And burnt pizza dough but they disregarded that.

Yet, trying to find a space within the public was hard! Animatronics trying to find some way to find daily living while keeping themselves charged up! Yet, the business owners of the pizzaplex never came to collect them, to decommission them, and yet somehow in some cruel way, they dug themselves a little animatronic spot within society.

And once again as every year does. It was Sundrop and Moondrop’s birthday.

“Cmon man! It would be totally rock and roll!” Monty chided, smacking Moon’s back, causing him to let out a displeased grunt. Sundrop, off in his own little corner and getting chatted down by Roxy to go along their little devious plan. Yet, what exactly was Monty and Roxy’s birthday gift?

“Just one night at the stripclub, a birthday gift from Roxy and I, to you and Sundrop! You won't regret it! There's a babe there totally worth both of your styles!” Monty continued, disregarding Moon’s side glare towards the gator animatronic. Unlike Chica, Roxy, Freddy and Monty. They all had partners besides the duo. Of course! Being a famous part of a band at a now burnt down pizzaplex would do that to you… Right? Either way! Moon could only care less at this point, only wishing to return back to his room.

“Why do you insist on us going to such a lewd place in the first place?!” Sun squeaked out as Roxy got only closer to the cornered Sun, hands on her hips as she glared up at him.

“BECAUSE! I work there and you should go there to see this person! They’re cool, pretty, and sooooooo worth it.” Roxy chuckled out, taking a step back from the flustered Sun and giving him a thumbs up, only causing Moon to roll his eyes in ‘what the fuck’ery.

“If we go, stay for an hour, then can we go home? Would that be enough for you two?” Moondrop hissed out through gritted teeth, not missing the look of betrayal on Sundrop’s face. “It would only be an hour of pure awkwardness, Sun. Then we can just go home and watch a movie like we always do on our birthday.” With this bit of reassurance, Sundrop seemed to ease up his shoulders and nod.

“Fine… We will go…” Sundrop sighed out which only caused the duo to cheer out happily. Mission task; get Sundrop and Moondrop a partner is a go!

—---------------------------------------------------

The strip club was loud, to say the least. What was it called again? God's Fallen Angels? What a weird name… Lights flashing, music blaring. It looked so sleezy yet… Celestial in some weird way. Chandeliers shined and chimed from above, gold lights shining around as everything seemed so bright yet dark and dim. It was confusing to say the least as everyone gathered around the bar to take a seat and perhaps drink… Could they get drunk? No, but it did cause their senses to get fuzzy which was always nice.

Finishing their orders, Moon could only look disinterested at everything around him. It was bright, not his favorite thing in the world. Yet, being in a different body than Sun made things easier, such as not shrinking away at any light in fear of turning into his counterpart. Sundrop on the other hand, was thriving, if not embarrassed at the fact that everyone around him was either trying to get laid by the pretty dancers or getting drunk off their asses.

What a night so far–

“Guys-! Shut up and look!” Roxy would whisper-shout at the two boys, smacking them both and pointing in a direction in which caused Sun’s face to spin a few times before finding center once again.

“We weren't even talking–” Moon started grumbling out angrily, squinted eyes dragging over the sea of horny or drunk humans to where she was pointing. Although, just as the boys finished turning to look at where she was pointing, the lights suddenly shut off and a single light shined upon the stage. Eyes shifting and adjusting to the new lighting within the room, only to see someone on the stage…

Both Sun and Moon adjusted in their seats to get a better view of who was on stage. Did the air change? Were they still in the same club? Everything was so… Quiet now. Audio sensors changing to hear anything, pick up anything only to hear the beginning of music that surrounds them like a warm embrace.

Who was this person on the stage? Who had the power to cause immediate silence within the bumbling horny drunks. Who had the energy to change the air around them from a stale hot to a bubbling fuzzy feeling. What are these feelings?!

Air caught in both of their throats as they caught sight of the figure on the stage. An angel with the purest halo, gold dripping in chains down your partially naked form, no wings but with the light shining on you like so, they could’ve sworn you had them. So this was (Y/N), the person that Roxy would not stop blabbering about how they would be a perfect partner for both Sundrop and Moondrop. How Monty was rejected by them more than once before he settled for another that his attention was fixated onto. Both Sundrop and Moondrop seemed to lean forward in their seats to watch them dance on the singular pole, under the singular light, yet stealing two whirring hearts.

Eyes adjusting once more, Moondrop was the first to catch their gaze, having piercing red eyes in the darkened crowd was a little startling but with a quick glance over to the bright yellow and spinning rays, you could easily tell that these were Roxy’s friends, the ones she would not shut up about you trying to meet them and perhaps agreeing to a date with. Cute… Sending a wink their way, you could swear you could hear both of their gears beginning to speed up over the loud booming speakers.

“Vixen.”

Both Moondrop and Sundrop looked at each other, as if they knew exactly their shared thoughts about you, dancing up on the stage for the crowd. For them. How could you be so… Ethereal? So unreal but real as their eyes trailed your form around the pole, from your eyes to your lips. Then following your form roll, swaying your hips and flipping around on the pole, watching you slide down the pole and arch your back against the cold stage.

Yes… What a night so far, indeed.

[nightcolorz]

Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:

Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.

Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.

Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).

Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍

Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.

The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.

Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.

Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).

The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.

Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).

Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.

Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol. anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)