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#but I just moved it to Tuesday so I hope that will work
misdeliria · 1 day
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THE MONSTER'S HERE; j. todd
It was a routine covert investigation. Emphasis on covert.
Your apartment was meant to be empty when Jason climbed through the window. No sounds were coming from outside your home office, which he was counting on—after a series of days, he deduced you were following your routine. You were most likely across town now, attending meetings at your day job.
Jason took the opportunity to plant all his listening devices. One is on the plant, another is under your desk, and the last is inside the clock. 
Disassembling the clock was light work, but with all the little pieces and Jason’s massive fingers, reassembling the device took an extra minute too long. He didn’t get a chance to open your desk's top drawer when the lock on your front door clicked. 
What were you doing at home so early? You were supposed to be at work. 
Your strides outside were directly approaching your home office. Did you know he was here?
With no time to escape out the window without getting caught, Jason decided to play it cool, throwing himself in your chair and crossing his legs as the knob turned. 
“I’ve been wondering when you’d finally make your move,” is the first thing you say when you step inside. You haven’t even looked at him, glancing around the room and smiling at the plant that held his plant. “I hope you didn’t break my clock.”
You’re dressed for work with wide-bottom slacks and a padded blazer. Your hair was down, and you looked refreshed—not surprised or out of breath.  
“Christ, you’re annoying,” Jason sighed through his voicemod. “Do you know how long that took?”
“I imagine a frustrating length.” 
You were smooth. Jason had to restrain himself from reacting behind the mask at every intention you did. You took the seat by the window in the corner, eyes trailing from the bookcase to the rug before landing on him leisurely at the desk. 
“Did you find anything good?”
“How did you know?”
How did you know where the listening devices were? How did you know he would choose a Tuesday mid-morning at a random time? 
You imitated his lax posture, crossing your arms with a haughty look. 
“Because I know you, Jason.” You sound earnest as you say it, and Jason’s whole body tenses. There’s nothing on your desk for him to pretend to be interested in and give any indication that you’re wrong. But his training is lost on him. 
“But you don’t remember me,” you murmur, eyes never leaving his helmet. You’re giving everything away in your body language, your shoulders sagging, the downturn in your brows and lips: This must be a trap.
“Uh oh, didn’t realize I was dealing with a jealous ex,” Jason laughs. “Which one were you again?” Why was he provoking her?
He must’ve hit a nerve because you just frown with a tick in your jaw. 
“How much do you know?” This catches Jason’s attention. This could work out for him.
“You work at a club near Gotham Heights. Your boss has recently been dealing with Roman Sionis.” If he gave you a little nudge on the subject, you’re bound to give him more details. 
Your expression falls in disappointment, and you suddenly look tired of him. 
“If that’s all you’re here for, I’m sorry to disappoint.” You don’t look at all that sorry. “He doesn’t keep me in the loop often. I don’t know anything.”
“There’s a shipment next week, and I want to know what’s in those containers.”
You exaggerate a sigh, throwing your head back while rolling your eyes. “You’re so demanding. It’s amazing how you’ve become successful in your line of work. Do you even know what I do at the club?”
Jason kept quiet under the helmet, racking his brain for your role. You were only labeled as hired as an employee in the records, but it didn’t specify what. Another question on the long list he wanted answers to. 
“Burbank, my boss, runs an underground fighting ring alongside the club. It’s a front.”
“Yeah, I know.” What does that have to do with you?
“Come on, use your head,” you jeer, and an epiphany sparks when your eyes glow blue. You smile with an ominous aura and tell him, “I’m his security.”
Jason instinctively reaches for the strap on his hip, but you tsk at him. 
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Who are you?” Jason spits venomously, mildly panicking at this new development. Your home office was an average domestic room, so it was safe to say the rest of your apartment was also. You worked a 9 to 5, and yet you fought for an underground fight club. And, worst of all—
You knew exactly who he was.
“I’m not that surprised you don’t recognize me,” you muse. “I started dying my hair after your funeral.”
His funeral? Were you his classmate? Wait—
“Who are you?” Jason demanded this time. The image of a dark-haired girl in a Gotham Academy uniform flashed through his mind. She was the daughter of an elite, the youngest in a family of men. 
“I think you know who I am,” you answer, leaning against the chair armrest. “And it’s so good to see you again.”
a/n: just practicing rn; might add more later
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1dmonthlyficroundup · 19 hours
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— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for September 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.
Happy reading!
* I long for that feeling to not feel at all by @ineverateakiwi [NR, 2k, Louis/Harry]
When he is not around and Harry needs to feel more grounded, steady on his own feet, he thinks of Louis. It's probably not healthy to rely on someone this heavily, but it's better than nothing. It's what he has right now. And, right now, it's working. Is thinking about that feeling, the feeling of being real, being alive, that he whispers – without thinking – those two words. — "Hurt me."
Harry needs to feel something, even if it's pain. Louis gives what he needs.
* where the real you is the superstar by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove [T, 2k, Harry/Louis]
Louis has lived in his tiny beachfront town his whole life, and doesn't know if he'll ever leave. Harry is constantly moving around, but when he meets Louis, he can't help wishing this could be the place he might stay. Just because the summer is temporary doesn't mean it's not worthwhile.
* Just a Little Taste, Babe by @allwaswell16 [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]
Harry’s been pining over Louis Tomlinson since their sixth form days. Now, he’s backstage at Louis’ concert and trying not to embarrass himself.
* make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face by localopa / @voulezloux [E, 24k, Harry/Louis]
things could be worse. harry doesn’t know what could be worse than being forced to do a tell-all interview with his ex friends with benefits that he still harbors feelings for, the only person he could ever see a future with, the person who truly hates him so much, he can’t help but hate him right back. but surely, worse things have happened at sea, right?
* Necessities of Nesting by @haztobegood [G, 5k, Louis/Harry]
“I know this is a sensitive topic and you probably don’t want to talk about your nest with me. But I have a friend that teaches nesting classes. Maybe they could help.”
“So you agree: my nest sucks and I’m a shit omega.”
* A Tight Space by haztobegood [T, 2k, Harry/Louis]
Niall pushes the bedroom door open. A huge mass of brown fur bolts between his legs. Louis startles with a hand to his chest.
“What the fuck was that?”
“Oh, that’s the cat. I told you Liam found a stray a few days ago. That’s him.”
“Are you sure that’s a cat?”
* The Grundy County Corn Maze Incident by haztobegood [T, 2k, Niall/Greg James]
Niall was getting tired and a bit worried about actually getting out of the corn maze. He had lost track of time and the fun was wearing off. Then, he heard someone shout for help. Part 3 of Grundy County Incidents
* Special Instructions by haztobegood [T, 2k, Zayn/Louis]
He didn’t mean for the drawings to become a thing. But they have. Every Tuesday night around eight o’clock, a take out order from Louis T. appears. Each order has new special instructions, requesting some change to the carefully curated dishes that Zayn has concocted. And every Tuesday night, Zayn doodles a response to those special instructions.
* A Wrench and a Rodent by haztobegood [T, 5k, Louis/Harry]
Louis just wants to study astrophysics, do some research, and graduate from Casper University. Fate throws a wrench in his plans.
* Language Of A Petal by @bittersweetsin [E, 15k, Harry/Louis]
“Wait, you're reading Divin-“
“-Divined Souls? Yup,” Harry finishes for him.
Starving off a grin, Louis says, “Have you actually been stalking me all this time and just lied about not knowing me?”
“Guess we’ll never know.”
or Louis is a librarian, and Harry comes in all the time to return books he’s finished reading. Every time Louis opens the book to check for any damages, there’s always a flower hidden in between one of the pages, specifically on a paragraph that has a deep meaning.
* Come and See My Dreams by @lululawrence [NR, 3k, Louis/Harry]
In a world where alphas traditionally built nests as part of the courting rituals for their omegas and rarely outside of that, Louis felt drawn to nest for his best friend from the time he was young.
Now, it was finally time to present the nest to Harry.
* a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation by lululawrence [NR, 8k, Louis/Oscar Isaac/Pedro Pascal]
“I swear they’re secretly dating or maybe even married at this point and are just trying to see how long they can keep it under wraps or something. Not quite sure what the deal is, honestly, but they swear up and down that they’re just friends whenever anyone asks.”
Louis chuckled. “Too bad. I’d have happily gone after either one of them, honestly.”
“Or both,” Calvin said, waggling his eyebrows.
Or the five times Louis, Pedro, and Oscar have incredible chemistry and the one time they finally admit to the feelings.
* 'Cause What I Want Came True by lululawrence [NR, 1k, Louis/Diego Luna]
Diego had been… unexpected. From the moment that Louis had walked into the coffee shop and seen him sitting there, he was surprised. He’d known Diego was attractive, the few photos he had shared on the dating app had made that clear, but there was something about seeing him in person that made him feel… more.
* (Whoops) Here We Go Again by lululawrence [NR, 4k, Louis/Oscar Isaac]
“I’ve got you,” Oscar said as he confidently hit the eight for Louis.
Nodding his thanks as he shyly tucked himself into the corner so the others who needed to could exit easily on their own floors, then Louis sucked his lips into his mouth in an attempt to cover his smile.
It didn’t mean anything, because of course it didn’t. They’d shared an elevator a few mornings a week for months now, but still. He remembered.
Or the one where Louis and Oscar have been seeing each other regularly on the elevator at work for almost nine months. Maybe it’s time for something to finally happen between them.
* Duck Crossing by lululawrence [NR, 2k, Louis/Diego Luna]
“So, what exactly are we doing?”
Diego’s brows rose in surprise at the same time Louis started hearing what sounded like quacking. “You don’t know?”
Louis scrunched his nose a bit and looked over towards where the quacking seemed to be getting louder. “I don’t. My sister sent me to the discord without explaining what was so special about the town’s ducks, and when I went to ask about it, I somehow got roped into helping you here tonight instead, so…”
Diego laughed before he looked up and down the road, where several cards were still making their way around. “This is going to be fun for you, then.”
* Curiosity by @hellolovers13 [G, 934 words, Louis/Harry]
Fae Harry lets curiosity get the best of him.
Human Louis is intrigued.
* Sweetest Poison (series) by @hellolovers13 [E, 7k, Harry/Louis]
It takes all his willpower to keep Harry from devouring it all now. Consume the raw energy that flows through it. Let it become part of him. Let it fuel and rejuvenate him.
But it’s too soon.
or Nothing like starting the day with a little bloodshed.
And coffee.
The barista is cute, too.
or Witch Harry finally gets rid of his latest boy toy. Who will be next?
* The Nest by Blue_Green28 / @bluegreen28fics [T, 5k, Harry/Louis]
Harry is a very particular omega who doesn't like to have items of Louis' in his nest until he secretly starts to steal them for it. or, 5 times one of Louis' personal items is missing and 1 time he finally finds them. (5+1 fic for Week 1 of Wordplay Challenge, Prompt: "Nest")
* Perfect Now by Blue_Green28 [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]
Timestamp for "We Are World Class" Harry gets frustrated because he wants to wear his wedding suit to the Oscars. After his second pregnancy the trousers don't fit anymore. Louis tries to reassure him that he still looks beautiful. Part 2 of World Class Universe
* You make me strong by Blue_Green28 [T, 3k, Harry/Louis]
While Louis is carrying the happiness of Great Britain on his shoulders during the European Championships finale, Harry is carrying something else. (Week 3 of Wordplay Challenge 2024, Prompt: Carry // Time stamp for "We Are World Class", can be read without knowing it) Part 3 of World Class Universe
* Home by Blue_Green28 [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]
Louis comes home after his festival tour.
* Kiwi - It's your business! by Blue_Green28 [E, 22k, Harry/Louis]
When ex-boybander Louis Tomlinson asks newcomer Harry Styles to be his support act for the next leg of his tour, he has no idea that he will gain more than just a support act. or, the one with the banter on tour
* Nest by @kingsofeverything [G, 100 words, Harry/Louis]
Harry wakes up first.
* Tight by kingsofeverything [NR, 100 words, Louis/Harry]
Louis comes home early.
* Carry by kingsofeverything [NR, 100 words, Harry/Louis]
Baby bump.
* Press by kingsofeverything [E, 100 words, Louis/Harry]
Louis asks for it.
* now that we're alone (say you hate me) by 28goldensfics / @28goldens [E, 18k, Harry/Louis]
Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are Co-Project Managers, constantly bickering at work, always finding themselves at odds, and competing to be the best. When a scheduling mishap with their company’s timeshare forces them to share a summer vacation, they're less than thrilled. But, as they navigate their time together, they realize that their animosity might be masking something a bit deeper than the hate.
* my sun, my everything by 28goldensfics / @28goldens [E, 5k, Louis/Harry]
based on the top harry fic fest prompt:
41 - Louis has been making a lot of self-deprecating jokes lately and Harry is sick of it. Ensue Harry worshiping Louis’ body like it’s his favorite god.
“You’re like a god,” Harry said softly, his voice reverent and full of wonder as he pressed a chaste kiss to the peak of Louis’ cheek which caused his eyes to shut gently. “Every part of you is so divine.”
Louis' eyes fluttered open, a mix of surprise and coyness in his gaze. “You think so?”
Harry nodded with absolute sureness, his hands moving slowly to undress Louis. He strategically unbuttoned Louis' shirt, his touch lingering beneath the fabric as if to savor each exposed inch of skin he revealed.
“Your body is a fucking masterpiece,” Harry murmured, his breath warm as he leaned to press a kiss against Louis’ bare chest. “Every curve, every line—it’s all so perfect.”
* Do You Know Who You Are? by @eulogiseme [M, 145k+, wip, Harry/Louis]
Doncaster was meant to be a fresh start for Harry, a chance to let go of his past and start a new life. But it doesn’t feel like it when Harry finds himself tormented by the arrival of Louis Tomlinson. Cocky, confident, and a huge flirt, Louis can’t keep away from Harry no matter what Harry says.
Upon his return, Louis is occupied with starting his business with Zayn and dealing with his family’s illegal business. Things start to get messy when Louis is conned by a dealer, and also can’t seem to get a certain pair of green eyes and dimples out of his head.
The one where Louis wants Harry, and Harry doesn’t know what he wants, or who he is. Though, he can take a good chance and guess that perhaps wanting Louis might just cost him everything.
* something told me it was you by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed [T, 1k, Zayn/Louis]
Are you ready, 'cause I'm ready to let go Never thought that I'd be ready again
* 'til I let go of this moment by we_are_the_same [M, 3k, Zayn/Liam]
Zayn and his terrible horrible no good Olympics. Where he wins gold and Liam’s heart.
Featuring Liam’s unfortunate big penis
* and in those rare moments by we_are_the_same [T, 2k, Louis/Harry]
London, May 23rd, 2025
Interview with Harry Styles, popstar, bisexual icon and philanthropist, by Louis W. Tomlinson.
* circling the truth by we_are_the_same [T, 3k, Liam/Louis]
Liam Payne has met his soulmate.
He knows he has, because he woke up with his power this morning.
Problem one: he has no idea who his soulmate is. He saw a ton of people last night, because it was the introduction party for the uni he is now attending. He’d talked to at least a dozen people, and he’s unsure on what counts as ‘meeting’ your soulmate, because it might just be someone he’d bumped into on his way to the loo.
Problem two: his power seems to be that he can read minds.
* even if it's strange, it's our love by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [G, 520 words, Zayn/Louis]
Zayn makes a hedgehog friend on his new farm and it changes his life in completely unexpected ways.
* I drink the honey inside your hive by yeah_alright [E, 3k, Louis/Harry]
Louis comes home frustrated and riled up in the way that only taking exactly what he needs from Harry can fix.
* Help me out of a jam? by yeah_alright [M, 2k, Harry/Louis]
Harry's tightened a jar beyond what he can open. He asks Louis for help, because Louis is always more than obliging.
* Carry the One by yeah_alright [T, 100 words, Louis/Harry]
Five times Louis carries her best friend and one time Harry carries the love of her life.
* Keep You Sweet in My Memory by yeah_alright [M, 6k, Zayn/Harry]
Of course Harry is the type to have a leather bound journal filled with pressed flowers. Zayn stops at one so delicate looking that he can’t believe it withstood the pressing process. It’s simple – a single layer of small, white petals with just a bit of yellow in the center – but Zayn can’t help but stare. His eyes rove over the subtle details frozen in time, somehow maintaining their softness despite having been crushed into two dimensions, and he feels almost hypnotized. He’s not aware of his hand moving until two fingers brush over the petals.
An image so vivid and sudden that his eyes snap shut in shock floods his mind and he pulls his hand back as though it’s been burned. The second his fingers leave the page, the image is gone, too fleeting for his memory to capture it.
“What the fuck?”
Zayn's only just getting to know Harry when he discovers he's able to store memories of people he loves in pressed flowers. At least that's what Harry tells him. Zayn has a choice: run away or accept Harry's invitation to learn more.
Harry's magic may be too powerful to resist.
* this time I'm willing to dance on the wire by yeah_alright [E, 3k, Harry/Louis]
A few days after leaving her shitty boyfriend, Harry goes back with Louis and their friends to collect the rest of her things. When her ex comes home to find them there, Niall, Zayn and Liam keep him away while Louis makes it known how much better off Harry is with her. Part 3 of Sin Wagon AU
* Deemed and Delivered a Crime by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [E, 35k, Louis/Harry]
Harry keeps his voice low and calm. “I need you to listen very closely because I’m only going to say this once.”
When he’s only greeted with silence on the other end, Harry continues.
“For every hair that is harmed on Louis Tomlinson’s head, I am going to break one of your bones. And then when you’re reduced to a pathetic little pile on the floor, my men and I are going to kick around your limp carcass in my garden for footie practice. Do you understand?”
There’s a few more beats of silence, before the voice on the other line answers. Still sounding calm and unbothered by Harry’s creative threat.
“I’m glad you received our message Mr. Styles. Are you ready to settle on a suitable sum for Mr. Tomlinson’s release?”
(Or the one where Harry is the most feared mob boss in London. Louis is his ex-husband who left that violent life two years ago to teach Uni. His peace is shattered when he’s kidnapped by Harry’s rivals).
* The Road So Far (series) by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt [G, 12k, Harry/Louis]
Harry Styles, an Angel Of The Lord, is sent on a mission to save hunter Louis Tomlinson from the deepest pits of Hell in order for him to fulfill Heaven's plan.
* hold all our secrets (series) by @justanothershadeofblue [E, 9k, ot5]
One Direction was unusual as a band with two betas in with the expected omega popstars, but they achieved global stardom in spite of it, traveling the world as a five-part sensation until beta Zayn left and the rest of the band went on hiatus shortly after.
Years later, they're all living their separate lives, pursuing separate careers to varying levels of success, until a headline breaks: One Direction had a secret alpha all along.
* Buns of a Feather (series) by @tommokat [T, 3k, Louis/Harry]
Bird hybrid Harry has been with his boyfriend, rabbit hybrid Louis, for a while. They're about to take a big step in their relationship and Harry needs to show Louis just how serious he is about him.
* I've Got What You're Craving (For Your Misbehaving) by tommokat [E, 2k, Harry/Louis]
"You've been so patient, haven't you, angel?"
"Yes, Mommy."
Sub Louis gets treated by Domme Harry and the age old question of why women go to the bathroom together finally gets answered.
* Stand on Holy Ground (series) by @wishingforloushair [E, 17k, Louis/Harry]
Priest Harry eats Louis out and then fucks him on the altar in the Sanctuary of the Church
“Father Styles?” a voice behind him comes, making him jump slightly. He’s used to people interrupting him. After all, that’s why he leaves the large wooden doors propped open. The church was a sanctuary for everyone. Who was he to stop God’s children seeking out the truth? He closes his book, suddenly aware of how much his knees ache from the flagstone floor as he gets back to his feet, turning around slowly. Standing in the centre of the aisle is Louis. Louis, who comes to confess all his sins to Harry, every day on his knees, little begs of forgiveness tumbling from his lips. Louis, whose ridges and bumps Harry feels under his fingertips almost as often as he feels the ridges and bumps of the Word. “Hello, Louis,” he smiles, placing his Bible on the altar next to the Communion chalice. “Come to confess?” He watches carefully as Louis’ eyes darken a little, his lips parting. “Yes, Father.” It’s part of their charade now, a dance that he knows well. “Why don’t you go close the door then? I think you and I, and God, need some alone time, don’t you?”
- Podfics -
* [Podfic] White Stripes by @allwaswell16 read by Panda_Podfics / @pandapodfics [E, Louis/Harry]
Harry’s roommate is gorgeous, kind, generous, and basically everything Harry has ever wanted in another alpha. The only problem is that he isn’t even sure that his alpha roommate is into other alphas. In an effort to finally get over him, he lets Niall set him up on a blind date.
- Fic Fests -
* Wordplay Fic Challenge / @wordplayfics
Prompt 1: Nest Prompt 2: Tight Prompt 3: Carry Prompt 4: Press Prompt 5: Interference
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roseofcards90 · 9 months
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God I HATE FEELING GUILT FOR EVERYTHING THAT I DO WHY CANT I JUST BE APATHETIC AND NOT GIVE A SHIT 😭😭😭
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rachelsquill · 4 months
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today at work is going to be a big stress and i’m just hoping i can successfully make it through 💔
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stillcominback · 1 year
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⚡️ got my lightning mcqueen crocs today and now i'll just be ka-chowing all over the shop ⚡️
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imagine-nerd · 4 months
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
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#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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I hate having a big life change and then just having to go work and go about my day like normal
How do people do this
Im exhausted
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nerdie-faerie · 4 months
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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Dinner & Diatribes
❝i knew it from the first look of mischief in your eye.❞
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Summary: You both swiped right and suddenly you're standing in a stranger's kitchen while he makes you spaghetti.
Pairing: Modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader
Word Count: 5.2k
Author’s Note: this might be the most self-indulgent fic i've ever written, so fair warning. also, thank you tom, who inspired this by saying that dinner & diatribes would be aegon's hozier song. it's just true. anyways, this was really fun to write.
Warnings: language, recreational drug use, alcohol use, fluff, intense sexual situations (including: oral sex - female receiving, sexual intercourse - p in v), just two single people who are horny, more fluff, aegon being so cute that i couldn't stop smiling the whole time i was writing this.
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It was precisely 9:39 PM on a Tuesday.
You were sitting cross-legged on your couch, nose deep in a fresh murder mystery that you had been working through for the last two days. There was a lit joint between your fingers that you were nursing, taking little hits so that it wouldn’t completely burn out, and on the cushion next to you, your phone softly vibrates and lights up; a familiar icon flashes across the screen and you can easily make out the words, “It’s a Match” from the corner of your eye. 
It’d been a regular occurrence since you had downloaded that accursed app. 
You’d been single for far too long, according to your best friend, though you hadn’t really noticed. The sweet silence of a solitary life was something that you had enjoyed for the most part. It wasn’t even like your online dating life had really taken off, either. You’d get matches but hardly anyone would reach out in any way that made you feel like they were serious. They wanted your Snapchat username, or they were in an ‘open’ relationship or asking for a threesome, and one guy even asked if you would send him pictures of your feet. Even some of the ones you thought were serious about taking you out- or even just hooking up- would end up ghosting you before anything actually happened. 
“It’s not supposed to be serious,” you could hear your friend’s words rattling around in your brain. You shake your head and focus once again on your book; they have a suspect, it’s the best friend! How fitting.
Once again, your phone lights up and vibrates. Not wanting to be distracted from the plot, you ignore your new match and get back to your mystery with anticipation; the best friend is about to confess. You go to take another hit of your joint and frown upon realizing it’s burnt out. As you move to grab your lighter, in comes another message, and another, and another. You stop what you’re doing and pick up your phone, swiping at the screen until you find the culprit. He’s known only as Aegon T, and according to the one sentence he has written on his profile, he has a dog. You swipe through his pictures- the dog is a golden retriever, the man looks like a golden retriever. 
In the message thread, he’s basically talking to himself. 
There’s four new messages waiting for you, while three little dots begin flashing at the bottom of the screen; disappearing and reappearing as you read what he’s already sent. 
“So, I’m high.”
“And I am making spaghetti… and it’s really good.”
“At least I hope it’s really good, it could just be the weed…”
“I could use a taste-tester, if you’re up for it? I can’t pay you or anything, but it’s honest work 😏”
Aegon begins typing again and you watch the screen, a smirk on your lips. You are 99% sure that the spaghetti is truly an innuendo for what he really wants and have half a heart to just block him, but you watch as those little gray dots continue in the bottom left corner of the screen; he’s going back and forth with himself and you can’t help but find it oddly cute. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you contemplate a witty response, but before you can even begin typing, he sends a fifth message. 
“That was weird as fuck, right?”
Then a sixth.
“You probably don’t want to come over to some random guy’s house on a Tuesday.”
He finishes up with a seventh message.
“Unless you do…”
He almost sends an apology. After all, what's another message? He’s already fucked this whole thing up; not even giving himself a chance before he nose-dived. If he was being honest, he should just go ahead and delete his whole account; save you from secondhand embarrassment and save himself from repeating the same mistake again in the future. He sets the phone down on the kitchen counter and goes back to ripping bong hits to calm his nerves. Though, he’s unable to keep himself from checking his phone for a response; a response that likely wasn’t going to come and he’d spend the rest of his night feeling like a complete idiot. 
Seven back-to-back messages should have screamed ‘red flag’, but you’re glancing at the clock as if you were seriously contemplating taking this stranger up on his offer. After all, you do have needs just as much as the next person. But, you’re wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts, your hair’s a mess, and you were covered in the crumbs of your munchie snacks. Meaning, you were nowhere close to being prepared for what was sure to happen between you and this random stoner offering you dinner. 
Yet, you respond to him, “I could never turn down spaghetti”. 
Aegon’s stirring the sauce when he gets your message. He’s instantly elated, thrusting a celebratory fist into the air. His fingers fly across the keyboard swiftly, sending another quick message, “Atta girl 🙃 My place is on the corner of 9th and 51st, above Jasper’s.”
“Be there soon,” you reply with haste. 
It was apartment #4 and you made sure to text your friend the address, and given name of your potential murderer, and also share your location for her to keep an eye out.  She says all you have to do is text her at any time if you need her to call and bail you out with a fake emergency. All she asks in return is for you to have fun and let her know if you are planning on spending the night- which was an idea that you weren’t opposed to, but it wasn’t something you were planning on. 
You’re nervous as you stand outside of the door to his apartment, fist hovering for a moment. Now’s the time to make a fast exit- you haven’t met him, you could turn around right now and never meet him. You could wake up alive in the morning, safe in your own bed. Or, you can knock on the door and have what might be a really nice spaghetti dinner with a really nice guy. Hell, he could even be the love of your life and in fifty years you’ll both look back on this day and laugh about how you met on Tinder and how you were stupid enough to go to his house and not a public place. 
Finally, you knock. 
Aegon puts the lid back on his spaghetti sauce and shuffles into the living room. Sunfyre is on the couch with his ears perked; his tail’s wagging and he’s panting eagerly, waiting patiently to meet this new visitor. Aegon whispers over to him, “wish me luck,” and thinks to himself, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish, please don’t be a catfish. He peers through the peephole when he approaches the door and there you are, a sigh of relief deflates his chest. 
“Oh, thank God,” you can hear him say as the door swings open. His accent is surprisingly British. “You’re real.”
The very first thing that you notice are his eyes. They’re piercing; somehow blue and lavender at the same time– the color of a warm, summer sunrise and they’re crinkling at the edges as he smiles. He’s wearing a pair of dark gray sweats and a pale green hoodie, and the only word that comes to mind when you look at him is warmth. He’s somehow more attractive in person than he is in the pictures on his profile, which you didn’t think was possible, but he’s standing right in front of you and you can’t help but think to yourself, he doesn’t look like a murderer. 
Then again, neither did Ted Bundy.  
Aegon stands there for a moment, just staring at you, unable to do anything else. His words escape him, he can barely even breathe. You look exactly the same as your pictures; even without the makeup and even in the shitty, fluorescent overhead lights of the hallway. Even in a sweatshirt and pajama shorts, you’re stunning. He’s having a hard time believing that you actually showed up and he doesn’t realize that he’s been staring for much too long until you shrug back at him. 
“Did you think I wasn’t?” You ask with creased brows and a lopsided smile.
The corners of his lips pull upwards as he looks at you, “I don’t know. You’re just so beautiful, I’m still not entirely convinced you aren’t some sort of hologram… or a robot.” 
“Wow, you’re pretty smooth,” you say with a playful smirk, desperately trying to keep your composure— trying to play it cool, hoping that he hasn’t caught on to the fact that you’re secretly spiraling, because it took all of one smile and one compliment and you were done for. “But, I’ll have you know that flattery won’t work on me. I’m here for the spaghetti and the spaghetti alone.” 
“My apologies,” Aegon says with a chuckle as he holds his hands up defensively. “Right this way, then.” 
He steps to the side, allowing you to enter his apartment, and shuts the door behind you. It’s nice, clean, smells like fresh baked bread and tomato sauce. There’s niche artwork adorning the walls, he’s got candles burning, and there’s some lowkey, downtempo R&B playing softly in the background. He quickly moves past you and disappears into the kitchen, leaving you to follow him. 
However, before you can take all of two steps into his apartment, a flash of golden fur is suddenly at your hip, pawing for attention. You drop down to a knee and happily accept any and all kisses from the pup. “Oh! Hi, what’s your name?”
Aegon sticks his head around the corner and says, “That is Sunfyre. In case you were wonderin’, he’s a very good judge of character and I will be consultin’ with him later where you’re concerned, fair warning.” 
You roll your eyes and scratch behind Sunfyre’s ears, his tail thumps in approval. 
“Would you like something to drink?” He continues and disappears back into the kitchen. “I’ve got wine and bottled water. Oh, and milk?” There’s a rustling in the kitchen before Aegon adds with a nervous chuckle, “scratch that, there is no milk.” 
You politely excuse yourself from Sunfyre and step into the small dining room off of the kitchen. 
There’s a grin on your lips, which you pursed so that he doesn’t think you’re laughing at him. Sunfyre joins the two of you and circles around his owner’s legs as Aegon empties an almost full half-gallon of milk down the drain. His kitchen is small but looks to be well used, which you appreciate. You know almost nothing about this man, other than his name- if ‘Aegon’ was even his real name- and the name of his dog, and yet here you were, standing in the threshold of his kitchen with a strange sense of comfortability as if you had been lifelong pals. 
“Water is fine,” you tell him. 
He produces a bottle of water from his fridge and tosses it over to you with ease and goes back to the stove. You step further into the kitchen, taking in your surroundings. The kitchen, like the living room, is covered in artwork and vintage decor- things you’d only find in some obscure thrift store or estate sale. On the refrigerator are a collection of magnets from different cities and countries, real touristy type shit. Some of them even had names on them; Alexander, Aaron, Alistair, Alan, Adolf. 
Maybe these are the names of people he’s killed. 
“You travel a lot?” You ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
“I try to,” he says from over his shoulder as he continues to stir the sauce. You can hear him set the lid back on the pot. “Most of those are from my sister, Helaena. She thinks it’s hilarious to give me magnets with random ‘A’ names since you’ll never find the name Aegon on any of those,” he says from behind you. He’s leaning against the counter with a half glass of wine. You quirk an eyebrow at him, not fully convinced. “She has a few from me that say Helen.”
“Is that her?” You ask, finger pointing to a pretty blonde in one of the many photographs he had pinned up.
He nods and takes a step closer to you. He’s so close that you can feel his warmth, smell his aftershave. The proximity causes you to blush and he smirks in response, leaning over your shoulder as he points to the other people in the pictures. “Those two are my little brothers, Aemond and Daeron,” he claims and then points to two women. “That’s my half-sister, Rhae, and next to her is my mother.”
“The redhead?” You ask surprised, given she didn’t look like she could be old enough to have four grown children. He nods and takes a step back, leaning against the counter with half-lidded eyes and a tipsy blush. “She looks like she could be your sister,” you say softly, turning back to glance at all of the faces; he seemed proud of his family, like they were very close. 
You turn away from the fridge and lean against the counter at his side. It’s quiet for a moment, save for the music and the sound of boiling water where the noodles were cooking. You look at him and the corners of your lips can’t help but twist up into a shy smile, but you bite at the inside of your cheek out of nervous habit. He props himself up on his elbows, taking a sip of his wine, clearly comfortable with the silence. 
“So,” you look up at him and his little smirk grows. “About the job…”
“Ah, yes,” he nods. “As I stated earlier, I won’t be able to pay you a monetary wage, but the position does come with a benefits package.”
“And what exactly would this benefits package include?” There’s an innocent flirtatiousness in your voice that only adds to the tension. 
“Outside of the free gourmet meals that I would be providin’ to ya, which is obviously the most important part,” he smiles and steps to the side to grab a spoon from the drawer and holds it out to you. Your fingers softly close around his as you pluck the utensil from his grasp. He clears his throat to distract from the fact that he was visibly flustered from the slight touch. “There’s also unlimited cuddle sessions,” before he can finish, you shoot him a look. “With Sunfyre, of course! He’s the real boss ‘round here, after all.” 
“Cuddling with the boss?” You quirk an eyebrow and look down at the golden retriever, his eyes round and gleaming; clearly waiting for a hand-out. “Sounds like a conflict of interest to me.”
“Well, if it’s a conflict of interest you’re worried about,” he counters quickly with a soft yet playful tone. “I s’pose we could renegotiate the terms of the agreement and you could have me instead.” 
“I’m listening.”
“He might be better at cuddling for obvious reasons and he might be better lookin’,” Aegon continues. “But, I give better backrubs. I mean, I have thumbs and he don’t. You can’t give decent backrubs without thumbs, can you? Plus, he’s a sloppy kisser.” 
“Oh, you’re really trying to sweeten the deal now, huh? Backrubs and kisses? I must admit, that is quite a compelling offer,” you muse. “It seems my decision hinders on whether or not you can actually cook, wouldn’t want to accept the position blindly, now would I?”
“Are ya doubtin’ my skills?” He asked playfully. 
“No offense, but you possess the aura of someone who could fuck up a can of Spaghettios,” you tell him with a sincere smile. “So, forgive me if I don't get my hopes up.”
Aegon laughs and it’s a warm and infectious sound that fills the kitchen. It’s genuine, as is his perfect smile. You can’t seem to keep yourself from staring; eyes softly tracing every detail of his face– from his full, pink pout, to the scar above his right eyebrow, and the dimple of his chin– thinking to yourself that you’ve never seen a man more beautiful. His smile turns back into a smirk as he notices you staring at his lips and you look up to meet his eyes. There’s something about the way he looks at you that leaves you feeling vulnerable. His gaze softens as you look away, turning your attention back to the spaghetti sauce on the stove in front of you to distract yourself from the blush creeping up your neck.
There’s only one way this night ends.
It was obvious before you even left your house and it was certainly obvious now. 
“Go on, then,” he prods, motioning to the pot on the stovetop.
His eyes are wide with anticipation as you dip into the simmering sauce, stirring it a few times before bringing the spoon to your lips. He’s nervous; it’s his mother’s recipe– one he’s spent years perfecting– but with his luck, you will most likely think it’s steaming garbage. Yet, he watches intently; holding his breath as your perfect lips curl to blow softly, cooling the sauce before you finally taste it. 
The moment the spoon touches your tongue, you're determined to remain impartial. After all, you’ve had your fair share of disappointing meals from men who’ve claimed to be great cooks. Aegon certainly could be the very latest and you wouldn’t be at all surprised. So, you keep your expectations low, and try your hardest to remain stoic, but as the flavors begin to unfold, you can feel your resolve wavering. 
It’s good. Better than most. 
Reluctantly, you have to admit that this is the second-best sauce you’ve ever had, right after your grandmother’s. You glance up at Aegon, who’s watching you with a mix of anxiety and hope, and you can’t help but smile. 
“I have to give it to you,” you say, your voice betraying a hint of admiration. “This is incredible. Almost as good as my grandmother’s.”
The relief and pride that spread across his face makes your heart flutter. 
“Yeah?” He asks with a toothy grin. 
“I’m still not completely convinced that you can actually cook, but you can– at the very least– make some top-notch spaghetti sauce,” you tell him as you place your spoon to the side. 
“Top-notch, eh?” He asks playfully as he begins plating your meal. “I’ll take it.” 
“Don’t let it get to your head,” you say to him with a laugh. “It’s just spaghetti sauce.” 
“Just spaghetti sauce? Don’t let my mum hear you say that,” he says with a smirk, setting a full plate in front of you on the counter. “I guess I’ll just have to work extra hard on the next one.”
“Assuming there will be a next one,” you reply, tone dripping with playful sarcasm. “Though, you have set the bar pretty high tonight. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“Well,” he murmurs as he steps closer, his body brushing against yours as he reaches around you to grab a plate. His lips are hovering above the shell of your ear, his voice low and teasing, causing your cheeks to immediately flush as the heat between the two of you intensifies. “I’m nothing if not a perfectionist.”
For a split second you expect for him to lean in for a kiss. Your heart is simultaneously skipping beats and racing at the same time; your breath catching in your throat as he leans in— But then he smirks, grabbing the plate and taking a step backwards. He’s doing it on purpose, you realize; his proximity expertly calculated to keep you on edge. You look up at him with wide, sparkling eyes and he knows he’s got you right where he wants you. The soft blush of your cheeks has his blood pumping and sends a surge of adrenaline through him. He’s trying his absolute best to play it cool but the way you’re biting your lip and looking at him has him unraveling.
“Is that so?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “What other skills do you have up your sleeve?”
His grin widens as he looks down at you, setting his empty plate to the side. His gaze, once again, drops to your lips. “I have a few tricks,” he says softly, his voice filled with promise. “But I doubt you’d believe me if I told you, so how about I just show you?” 
“What?” You ask with a playful innocence. “Before dinner?”
“I’m not really in the mood for spaghetti anymore.” 
“Oh?” Your smirk is only growing. “What are you in the mood for?”
Aegon says nothing, but a confident grin tugs at the corners of his lips as he rests his hands on your hips. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in by the waist, until you’re pressed against him and his lips are on yours. The kiss is both gentle and urgent and a little bit awkward, as any first kiss should be. You felt like a teenager again, kissing a boy for the first time– butterflies in your stomach and all.
It takes no time at all for you to find your rhythm with him, and he deepens the kiss, pushing you up onto the kitchen counter to meet his height. Your arms naturally drape across his shoulders, your legs wrap around his middle. He’s completely taken over your mind, filling up every tiny space that he can fit into; the smell of his cologne, the scratch of his stubble against your skin, the feeling of his hands squeezing the flesh of your thighs– his fingertips teasing just underneath the hem of your shorts. 
Breathless, he pulls away from you as he pulls your sweatshirt over your head. He stops for a moment to take in the sight of you; clad only in your bra and shorts, lips red and blotchy, swollen and full. You’re looking up at him from under your lashes, softly biting your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue. He gently lifts his hand up to your cheek and traces the curve of your cupid’s bow with his thumb, providing one last show of tenderness before he leans in to capture your lips in another searing kiss. 
His touch is suddenly rushed; spreading a wildfire across your skin in the wake of his lips as he rips off the remainder of your clothes. It doesn’t take long at all before you’re sitting exposed on his kitchen counter in only a thong, blushing wildly and covering your face with your hands. 
“No– no hiding,” he clicks his tongue and pulls your hands away from your face. “I want to see you.”
He whispers a string of profanities and compliments as his starving eyes roam your figure. Self-doubt creeps into your mind and you momentarily consider making a quick exit, convinced he won’t like what he sees, but the way he’s looking at you makes you feel desired in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. 
Aegon’s gaze is electrifying and intense, drawing you in and silencing your negative thoughts instantly. His hands pull you in by the waist, sliding you to the edge of the counter as his lips work their way down your chin and neck; leaving a trail of red marks down to your chest. He hums, smirking as he takes one of your breasts in his mouth. His hand kneads the other, rolling your hardened nipple between two fingers. Your head falls back, lips parted slightly as you breathe out his name. 
Each sound he elicits from you urges him on even further until he’s on one knee, looking up at you from his position with those pretty eyes. He runs a hand up the back of your calf, softly teasing you with his fingertips before tossing your leg over his shoulder. You knew where he was going, and yet, you were still surprised as he began placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thighs; shivering in anticipation as goosebumps formed on your skin. 
“You’re so wet,” he says proudly, praising you. 
His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers delicately smooth over your clothed clit. He hooks a finger around the dampened cotton and pulls your thong to the side, groaning at the sight of your perfect pussy. Without wasting another second, Aegon’s mouth is suddenly on you and your hands immediately find the back of his head; fingers curling into the roots of his silver hair. 
You roll your hips against his tongue, cursing out as your legs begin to shake. He moans, face still buried deep in you and the vibrations have you writhing. Both of his arms are wrapped around your thighs now, holding you tight to him, not letting up for even a second. Then he stands, lifting you up onto his shoulders. You squeal in shock, holding onto him tightly, but he doesn’t stop; he continues to devour you as he blindly carries you towards his bedroom. 
When his knees hit the side of his bed, he tosses you back onto the mattress. 
You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he strips out of his clothes. . You can see the outline of his arousal; prominent and pressing firmly against the fabric of his sweats. You bite your lip at the sight and he smirks as he catches your stare. His movements are unhurried, giving you ample time to appreciate the sight before you. His hoodie and shirt come off first, then his sweats, and you can’t help but notice the way that his muscles flex with each motion. He’s not overly built, but there’s a solid strength in his frame that is evident in the way he moves.
Outside, headlights from passing cars cast streaks of light and shadows across the walls of his room. It’s quiet, the music in the other room has stopped playing and all you can hear is the sound of your own heart beating in your ears. You swallow thickly, encompassed by the tension of the moment as he crawls up the length of your body; placing tender kisses along your skin. His lips leave a trail of warmth, each touch igniting a spark that travels through your entire body.
When he reaches your face, he pauses, his breath mingling with yours as he hovers just inches away. The anticipation builds, thick and electric in the air between you. His lips find yours in a kiss that starts slow and tender but quickly deepens; fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you closer, his body pressing yours deeper into the plush mattress. Your hands explore his back, tracing the contours of his muscles, feeling the tension and strength beneath his skin and coming to rest on his shoulders; gripping tightly as he continues to worship your body with his mouth. Each kiss, each touch, is deliberate, heightening your senses and pulling you further into the moment.
You curse at the feeling of his girth against your entrance. Your hand moves up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips as he presses slowly into you. 
“Oh fuck,” he whimpers into the crook of your neck as his arms become weak. 
He knows that he won’t last like this; it’s been a while and you feel way too good. He’s slow at first, wanting to steady himself and maintain control, but his rhythm picks up quickly; hips moving with an unrelenting rhythm, each thrust bringing you both closer to the edge. You can feel his muscles tense, his grip on you tightening as he buries his face in your neck. His moans are a mix of pleasure and desperation, and you can tell he’s fighting to hold back.
You tighten your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, feeling the overwhelming need to reach that peak together. His pace quickens, the tension in his body building to a breaking point. You feel the same pressure inside of you mounting before it’s suddenly crashing over you like a wave. He follows seconds later, a low groan escaping his lips as he spills into you. The intensity of the moment leaves you both breathless and clinging to each other, bathing in the afterglow. 
“That was incredible,” he murmurs against your skin, head pressed to your chest as you stroke his hair softly. His eyes flutter shut as he listens to the sounds of your heartbeat. 
You hum in agreement, smiling to yourself as you savor the peacefulness of the moment. 
Suddenly, you’re joined by Sunfyre jumping up on the bed, his tail wagging enthusiastically. You smile at him and pat the empty space next to you, inviting him to join your cuddle session. He eagerly accepts the invitation, circling the bed a few times before snuggling up next to you. Aegon lifts his head and smiles, clearly pleased that you would be so open to having the dog in bed with you. He wraps his arm around both you and Sunfyre, pulling you closer. 
“This is perfect,” he says softly, his voice filled with contentment as he lays his head back on your chest. 
"So, about that job offer," you say playfully, your fingers tracing patterns along his skin. "I think I'll accept the position. When would you like for me to start?"
He lifts his head to look at you, a playful glint in his eyes. “How about tomorrow night at seven?”
Before you can respond, a distinct burning smell reaches your nose. Your brows furrow as you sniff the air. “Do you smell that?”
Aegon’s eyes widen in realization. “The spaghetti!” 
He jumps up from the bed, pulling on his clothes quickly, and scrambles into the kitchen. You follow behind him, tossing one of his t-shirts over your head and meet him in the kitchen. 
“I guess I forgot to turn off the burner,” Aegon looks disappointed but then chuckles, shaking his head. He looks at you with a glint in his eye and smirks. “Occupational hazard, I guess.”
“Oh, that sucks!” You laugh, playfully nudging him. “Is it too late to back out of the job now?”
“Way too late for that,” he says as he pulls you into a soft kiss, silencing any doubts immediately. “You’re mine now.” 
“Mm,” you hum against his lips. “But I came here for the spaghetti.”
He chuckles and pulls back slightly. “Will you settle for pizza?”
“I’ll settle for anything, as long as it’s with you,” you say with a smile as you wrap your arms around his waist. “And as long as there’s extra cheese!”
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missmouse25 · 1 year
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Just Personal complaining in the tags
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dcxdpdabbles · 6 months
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The Undead Florist
Anon said: Basically, I just wanted Danny to deliver flowers to the Justice League heroes from his fans. If you can include Everlasting Trio. U can add whatever crack you think would be best! Thank you!
Clark is in the middle of blocking a heat ray attack from a robot that copies the powers of any Justice League member when the unexpected happens. A kid, no older than fourteen, boldly walks into the battlefield carrying a lavish bouquet of red roses and trigger lilies.
He's dressed in a worker uniform: light brown khakis, a black shirt with a light-born vest, and a black baseball hat resting neatly on his head. There is a company logo on the upper right of his vest but Clark does not recognize the stylized D.
There was a still moment when Clark's super speed could see the exact second Amazo spotted the child. The boy wasn't paying attention, staring at his phone screen, which had the faint details of a map, and had two headphones in his ear.
Clark's eyes widen in horror, and he opens his mouth to try to shout a warning—though he doubts the kid could hear him over the loud music playing in his ear—but before he can, Amazo flung out an arm straight at the kid's head, still pinning Clark down with a cheap version of his own laser ray eyes.
No! No, please, he's so young! He pleads mentally, frozen in horror as the robot's hand goes right through the kid's head. It took a solid minute for Clark to realize that Amazo's hand hadn't ripped through the skull of the child but rather had passed through him as if the boy was not physically there.
From underneath a black baseball cap, brim, electric blue eyes stare at Amazo. Gesturing vaguely to the arm going through his head, the boy frowns. "Rude much?"
"Access: Black Canary," Amazo says in response, his jaw opening wider as a super-powered scream is released, pointing black at the kid's face.
The frown on the worker deepens as the boy reaches up and- slaps the android in the face? "Dude, I'm trying to work. I have like eight flower deliveries today. Also, that was a weak imitation. This is a real Ghostly Wail."
He opens his jaw, letting out a sound that wasn't as loud as Black Canary or Amazo but somehow worse.
And the sound—the unholy screech that releases from the child sends Clark to his knees, quivering in his boots as Amazo disintegrates right before his eyes. The only thing left of the android is a smothering pair of robotic legs that fall over with a loud thump.
The boy huffs, paying no mind to the fact that he took out the enemy the league had spent the last six hours fighting before Clark tried to lure it away from the city. He merely glances back at his phone, following the little moving icon on the map until he stands before the fallen hero.
"Hi! Are you Superman?" The kid asks in a polite, chipper tone. It's such a whiplash change between his normal voice and his customer service voice that it sets in. This is really just a Tuesday for him.
Clark opens and closes his mouth with a weak "Yes" and is pushed out.
The kid's smile grows as he pushes the flowers into his arms. Clark nearly drops the vase, scrambling to get a good hold of them as the kid pulls out a harmonica and plays a little jingle. It sounds like a mix between Happy Birthday and Ring Around the Roses.
Once he is done, the boy holds out his arms wide open and loudly proclaims, in a very obvious Transatlantic accent, which makes him sound... rather otherwordly: "These flowers are sent by your fan Kattie Longsmith in Metropolis, wishing to thank you for rescuing her mother and brother from a fire. She wants to remind you that she is your biggest fan and hopes you have a lovely day. Thank you for selecting the Undead Florist as your means of flora travel!"
With a theatric bow, the boy blinks out of existence.
Clark is left kneeling alone in a destroyed cornfield, beating black and blue, while holding a vase of lavished roses and lilies. He is unsure how long he will stay there, trying to process what he just saw as the Batplane flies onto the scene, Bruce jumping out of it with a cry of his name.
Batman growls upon taking in the scene before his friend rushes to his side. "What happened?"
"I ugh...I got a flower delivery." He manages to utter, eyes still trained on the spot of the strange kid.
"What?"
"Trust me, I'm as confused."
It turns out that Clark's delivery is not an isolated incident. Over the past three months, various Justice League members have reported similar interactions with the Undead Florist.
Flash got a bouquet while trying to stop Captain Cold. The kid had wandered in the middle of a fight, unfreezing the speedster to hand over yellow lilies and sunflowers from a little boy named Teddy Smith in Central City. He had melted the freeze ray that was shot at him while Barry was in the middle of a panic, thinking he would watch a child die.
One little jingle and message was delivered in a Transatlantic accent later, and the boy was gone without a trace again. Bruce had gone to the scene, trying to find anything that could give him some clue, but he disputed the clear picture of his face and the recording of his voice. Nothing about the boy came up in their systems.
Wonder Woman was next, receiving two large bouquets of roses from a fellow woman she had rescued named Trix Cooperman. Her jingle was slightly smoother jazz , and the message leaned towards romantic than gratitude from a fan, but the boy had delivered it nonetheless.
He also took out Cheetah with a well-placed punch, highly impressing Diana. He had the makings of a warrior.
Then Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Martian Man Hunter, Batman, Martian Man Hunter, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, Zatanna, and surprisingly Vigilante each got their own flower grams.
None of them were able to get any information about the child, seeing as he only appeared when the members were in the middle of a fight, which was driving Bruce mad.
Of course, they had tracked down all the clients but met a dead end when each claimed they had never placed an order with Undead Florist. Even when Diana was holding her rope, the people gave the same answer.
They had no idea why Undead Florist was delivering flowers in their name or where the message that came along with the flowers appeared from. The chilling part was that the messages did actively represent their emotions and feelings towards the heroes, but how the overpowered child knew that was left unanswered.
The other thing that bothered Bruce was that the Undead Florist only appeared when they were in battle.
"Maybe it's because he doesn't know how to find you otherwise," Nightwing suggested at the Justice League-wide meeting.
"He uses a GPS that is locked into the heroes." Batman grunts, not dismissing the suggestion but challenging it, which causes his eldest son to shrug.
"Undead could be following online tips or something. It's not like the Leauge is seen just strolling around the cities, but people tweak when they do happen to see us."
"We could test that. Have a group of heroes just relaxing at a cafe or something. See where he appears and if there is a pattern after monitoring social media." Red Robin suggests, rubbing his chin.
Batman considers it before nodding. "I shall divide the teams."
The Justice League goes out, doing as instructed, and sure enough, they find the Undead Florist appearing more and more. Red Robing happily puts together the pattern, pointing to social media generated by the younger generation's demographics.
Undead Florist is an actual teenager using DCtweets to find heroes to bring flowers to. They have enough proof of that to show he's harmless if one ignores his more than impressive battle skills.
"Now all we need to do is catch him," Clark announces. "We don't want to scare him, but the Justice League really needs to know how he's doing all of this. It could be a security risk."
Meanwhile, Danny chills in his haunt, watching Sam tend to the flowers in a large greenhouse he placed for her. Tucker is typing away on a ghost zone-powered supercomputer, looking at all the Soul orders their business is getting.
The Ghost Zone didn't have a formal currency; they had Deals instead. Even small unconscious deals—like wishing on a shooting star, throwing a coin in a fountain, or sending a prayer or two���could be turned into deals if a higher being encountered them.
Luckily for those people, Danny and his lovers are very kind higher beings and choose to complete their requests in a way that satisfies all of their obsessions without stealing souls.
Sam got to spread her greenery across worlds, Tucker got to spend time with tech from different universes and Danny was able to explore and protect the souls of humans.
That Danny could exchange these Soul orders for gold was no one business but their own.
"Ohhh, another order, Red Robin, from Universe Nine!" Tucker crows. "It's roses in the shape of a heart from Kon-el. Aw, he's in love with his best friend!"
"That's sweet." Danny smiles, leaning over his boyfriend's shoulder to read the message he must memorize when he struts into Gotham. "I know how much fun dating best friends is."
"Let's help those losers confess then!" Sam calls, raising her hands as roses of various colors burst to life around her.
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inkskinned · 10 months
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
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ailesswhumptober · 3 months
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Prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2024
As promised, we're bringing you the official prompt list of AI-less Whumptober 2024 today!
We have 31 days of excellent whump prompts, with three prompts per day to pick from, fun themes, and 10 alt prompts to play around with. We hope you enjoy! Additional info + plain text versions of the prompts can be found under the cut.
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FAQ and Rules
What sort of content can I create for this event?
You can create whatever you want (fic, art, edits, etc). Any fandom is allowed, as well as OC stuff. NSFW is allowed, but please tag your content accordingly! The only thing not allowed is AI-generated content.
Do I need to make 31 things to participate?
Oh heavens no! You can make as much or as little content as you like, skip days when desired, or combine prompts (so for example, write something that covers a prompt from day 1, 2, AND 3). You don't have to do the days in order either, go wild! To be considered a 'completionist', you only have to make sure that at the end of the month, you've covered 31 prompts from 31 different days, but whether you do that in 31 works or just 1 is up to you.
What are these alts about?
If none of the three prompts of a particular day are your cup of tea, you can swap them out for an alt prompt of your choice.
What are these themes about?
Just a little bit of extra fun for the mods. Like last year, we'll be handing out various badges for people participating in the event. A full list will be posted later (and linked here once that happens), but perhaps there will be a special badge or two for people who can't be completionists but who do manage to finish every single day of a specific theme ;)
How do I tag and is there an AO3 collection?
It suffices to tag your work with #AIlesswhumptober2024 for us to see and reblog it! Please also tag nsfw, since we'll be using that tag too. Tagging the day is optional but does help the mods along.
There will be an AO3 collection for the writers to share their works in, this will be made available once we're closer to October (and linked here once that happens).
That should be all. If you have any additional questions, check our pinned or hit us up in the ask box. Or join our discord maybe, whumping can be a great group activity!
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Plain text versions of the prompts:
October 1 - Torture Tuesday
public torture/public use, stress position, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”
October 2 - Whumperless Wednesday
Unfortunate fall, car accident, “Don’t move. You’ll be okay.”
October 3 - Trauma Thursday
Shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.”
October 4 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.”
October 5 - Sensory Saturday
Overstimulation, migraines, “I can’t take this anymore.”
October 6 - Surprise Sunday
Multiple whumpees, self sacrifice, “I’m the only one who can do this.”
October 7 - Medical Monday
Field medicine, running out of supplies, “Hold on, we’re going to have to improvise.”
October 8 - Torture Tuesday
Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”
October 9 - Whumperless Wednesday
Hypothermia, heatstroke, “You look pretty pale.”
October 10 - Trauma Thursday
Self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “You don't need to earn this.”
October 11 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Hallucinations, truth serum, “Why would you even say that?”
October 12 - Sensory Saturday
Isolation, sensory deprivation, “Can you feel me? I’m right here, whumpee.”
October 13 - Surprise Sunday
Whumpee using themself as bait, defiance, “Take me instead.”
October 14 - Medical Monday
Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”
October 15 - Torture Tuesday
Waterboarding, removing body parts, “Don’t break down on me yet.”
October 16 - Whumperless Wednesday
Drowning, hostile environment, “I don’t know how anybody could survive that.”
October 17 - Trauma Thursday
Abandonment, misunderstanding, “Why did I even think you cared?”
October 18 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”
October 19 - Sensory Saturday
Disassociation, losing a sense, “I wish I could get you back.”
October 20 - Surprise Sunday
Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, accidental de-aging, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”
October 21 - Medical Monday
Drugged, ambulance ride, “This will make you feel better, okay?”
October 22 - Torture Tuesday
Forced (to kneel/watch/hurt somebody else), whipped, “Do not look away.” October 23 - Whumperless Wednesday
Fever, passing out, “Hey?! Stay with me, okay?!”
October 24 - Trauma Thursday
Deconditioning, relapse, “It’s normal that you need more time.”
October 25 - Fright/Freaky Friday
Humiliation, betrayal, “How could you?!”
October 26 - Sensory Saturday
Electrocution, burning, “This is going to sting.”
October 27 - Surprise Sunday
Before vs after, Alternate universe, “Well, there’s a first for everything.”
October 28 - Medical Monday
Internal bleeding, needles and stitches, “I didn’t think the wound was that bad…”
October 29 - Torture Tuesday
Ownership, branding, “Everybody will know that you’re mine.”
October 30 - Whumperless Wednesday
Poison, delirium, “You’re not making sense.”
October 31 - Trauma Thursday
Panic attack, facing a phobia, “You need to get out of here!”
Alt prompts:
1) Pistol whipped
2) Co-dependency
3) Animal bite
4) Zombies
5) White room torture
6) Shock collar
7) Pulling teeth
8) Kidnapping
9) “You always make everything worse!”
10) “If you weren’t around, I’d be long dead by now...”
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| luke castellan x fem! daughter of poseidon! reader
౨ৎ warnings ౨ৎ: none i think
౨ৎ summary ౨ৎ: luke and [reader] go on a secret date, only to be caught by annabeth, percy, and grover
౨ৎ PART 2 OUT NOW ౨ৎ
“I thought this place was secret..”
“where’re you going anyways at 10:00 am on a random tuesday??”
percy asked, giving a very confused look, mostly because, you’re never up at 10:00 am or ever putting this much effort into making sure your shirt looks good enough.
“percy, i’m not going anywhere. i just decided to.. put a little more effort in today i guess.”
you said with glowing cheeks, thinking of luke. percy doesn’t seem to convinced and was about to say something else, but you quickly beat him to it, to avoid other integrations.
“are you sure my shirt looks good?” “should i opt for the baggier jeans or keep these flared ones on?”
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆
it was a sunny day for camp half blood. perfect for a picnic or maybe even a secret date..
as you exited your cabin, ready to spend some much needed time with your favorite boy ever, you were stopped by annabeth. don’t get me wrong, you love annabeth. but right now, you wanted some alone time with luke.
“hey y/n! i wanted to ask if you could help me work on some new sparring skills? i was going to ask luke but i can’t seem to find him anywhere.” annabeth asked with a hopeful look in her eyes.
you hesitated in saying it, but you couldn’t ever turn down helping someone. “sure annie. why not” you said with a bit of a forced smile.
as she showed you the moves she’s been working on, you correct her on her form and where she would be exposed to the enemy. this goes on for about 20 minutes until grover walks by and starts talking to annabeth about something.
you use this opportunity to quietly slip away to finally see luke. all you wanted to do was kiss him and hug him and do everything affectionate with him because you felt like you haven’t seen him in forever (you haven’t seen him for like a day).
as you brush through the sharp pine needles and itchy bushes, you finally catch a glimpse of the boy you fell in love with when you were 14.
you see him laying down on a blanket, with his elbows propping him up. you sneak up behind him and put your hands over his eyes.
“guess who!” you say lightly laughing as he guesses stupid answers like “Chiron” or “Percy”.
as you remove your hands from his eyes he gets up and immediately kiss you all over your cheeks, nose, forehead, and finally your lips.
“hey, i’ve missed you so much.” luke says with love laced in his eyes.
“not as much as i’ve missed you.” “i have to tell you all about the morning i’ve had just to get here!” you exclaimed with a smile as you both sit down, hand in hand.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆
some time has passed. about an hour or so. your head is on luke’s shoulder as he’s telling you all about how his week has been and how much he’s missed you (even though you two saw each other literally the day before).
in the middle of talking, you decided to just kiss him because well, you love him and this is one of the only times you got to spend time with him alone. as you’re both ahem.. making out, you hear footsteps, but you don’t think much of it.
until you hear a percy yelling “WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT WITH MY HALF-SISTER?!?!!” as grover catches up with percy, panting. and annabeth removes her hat, “percy! you ruined our cover you seaweed brain.”
“well sorry that i’m freaked out that luke is making out with my sister!! we’re lucky we didn’t get here later..”
as both you and luke just sit there dumbfounded, you finally decide to speak up. “ok why are you all here??” percy replies back very sassily “oh missy that’s the least of your problems.”
you roll your eyes as one of the more mature ones respond (annabeth) “well after grover finished talking to me, i saw that you weren’t with me anymore and also judging how luke wasn’t where he usually is either, i got a little fishy. so i grabbed percy and grover and went off.”
percy is just glaring at luke. like staring daggers into him. luke is just sheepishly smiling as he lays his head on your shoulder kissing it. as you both hear percy lecturing you on how it’s not ok to sneak around and such, annabeth and grover just sit there laughing as you and luke just keep playfully rolling your eyes and being dramatic with your responses like “oh i’m so sorry percy! i won’t ever do this again!”
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆
as you walk back to your cabin, percy in the middle of you and luke, you’re thinking all about how much you’ve fallen for luke and how excited you are to build your future with him (oop).
and as all three of you walk toward the poseidon cabin, you mouth to luke “stay outside for a minute”. you and percy walk inside and you make up some excuse to go back out there.
you go back outside where luke still is and you hug him around his waist. “that date was fun.. until.. yknow” you said laughing.
he rests his chin on the top of your head, and laughs. “yea. i always love spending time with my sunshine.” he says as he kisses the top of your head and pulls away.
you smile and look at his left eye, his lips, then to his right eye (triangle method lol). you lean in and kiss his soft lips as his arms find their way to your waist and yours to his neck. as you both pull away, foreheads touching, luke whispers with a smile,
“my cabin. 10:30 pm. make sure percy’s asleep.” you lightly laugh and pull away going into your cabin. as luke is about to walk to his counselor duties, he sees percy in the window giving him the death glare. he flinches and he awkwardly smiles and walks backwards until percy walks away from the window.
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。 ⋆ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧⋆
౨ৎ a/n ౨ৎ-(PT2??) first imagine done! i really hope u liked this one. pls request some!! i love writing for our fav evil boyfriend lol. and give me feedback! i’m new to this whole “imagines” thing haha <3 (btw idk how to put my requests thing on so just pm me with them🫶🏻🫶🏻)
-jules🎀
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occamstfs · 7 months
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Diet Diaries
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Hi all! Thank you so much for 500 followers! Here's a little style switch up to celebrate, got a lotta refs in this one and I quite leaned into the diary entries so I hope it's not too much! Hope y'all enjoy this stereotype reversal and as always, best! -Occam
Monday March 21st-
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Andy:
I am beyond sick of Steve. Moving in together was a mistake, I don’t care how cheap the rent is, he is a narcissistic slob and I am eager to never see him again. Well no, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Our R.A. had this idea to try and walk in each other's shoes, which I don’t know? It might not be the worst thing? My big idea was switching diets actually- honestly I’m just hoping if he ate more like me he’ll stop stinking up the dorm. I can dream at least. Literally though he just can’t go to the gym as often if he eats like me. If I'm lucky at the very least his deodorant will last longer, I cannot take another day of his b.o. seeping through the walls, ugh! Anyway, wish me luck! I’m sure this will be a breeze for me, he usually just eats junk anyway, hope he enjoys my salads~
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Steve:
Andy that little fucker. He was being such a little bitch to James and now I’ve gotta eat his rabbit food for a week or lose this bet or whatever. Steve don’t lose tho. Lil twink’s gotta eat whatever I make him too and you can bet your ass I’m gonna make him match my macros if I’ve gotta starve myself like he wants. Fuck! This shit is going to absolutely tank my routine! I’ve gotta make Andy give up. I’m gonna go so hard on him he’ll have to hit weights if he doesn't want to blow up like a pig. Maybe then he’ll stop bitching any time I don’t fucking shower every time I get back home. 
Tuesday March 22nd-
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Andy:
My Lord! He is trying to kill me! I don’t know how anyone could consistently eat as much as he’s telling me to. I’m so bloated from all this food.. He looks so smug every time he tells me to keep eating, I’m sure he doesn’t eat like this. He’s just trying to break me but I’m not going to let him win this easy.
Ugh, I feel so bloated my pants are so tight on my waist. I didn’t think meat sweats were a thing but man I am needing to put on deodorant like twice a day now and I’m not even exercising. I will say that now that I’m eating so much, I don���t hate the idea of going to the gym. It’s been a while since I went but I should probably at least hit up the treadmill lest I get even more of a gut- maybe I’ll see if he wants to go tomorrow. This is all just an exercise to understand each other more after all, no need to make it a stupid competition like he wants eh~
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Steve:
Fuck! I am so tired of Andy’s pussy-ass diet. I had absolutely no energy at the gym today, I told all my bros that I was just gonna take it easy but fuck! I really was working my ass off and I struggled to even meet a PR I set last week. It was supposed to be a push day and I didn’t even get a chest pump! Why the fuck am I still going. I’m abso-fucking-lutely not getting gains on his fuckin’ bitch-ass salads and oats.
Eatin’ like a fucking twink and the fucker has the nerve to ask to go to the gym with me tomorrow. I’ll make sure he regrets that >:) Gonna work him like a horse so he’ll throw in the towel! After feeling how sore actually working on yourself makes ya, he might actually learn something. I’ll turn in early so I can go all out and show him what a real man looks like.
Wednesday March 23rd-
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Andrew:
Man! I totally get why Steven eats so much now~ I am absolutely raring to go and get this; He said I could go to the gym with him today! He even seemed like he wanted me to go with him! I feel like I have more energy than I’ve ever had before, I might even try some weights!! I don’t know but I’m so excited! It’s like I can feel my chest and biceps begging me to go and hit some iron haha! Or whatever those “bros” say~ I hope he’s got something good planned for lunch because I fuck Sorry! I just want to show him that I can do all this dude stuff too! I’m a man right? I guess all this protein is making me feel more like a man than usual idk. Either way though I’m ready to go! Hope we have some fun!
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Steven:
That bitch’s fuckin’ fru fru salads are ruining my PR’s for sure! I bet he knew that when he begged me to take him to the gym today, knew it was the only time he could show off to me was when I’m so out of it. And he didn't! Just to be clear I could still wipe the floor with  him even if I’m not at my A-game. Ugh, I do gotta hand it to the little fucker though. I KNOW he hasn’t even really set foot in a gym before but man. Beginners luck my ass, as soon as I showed him a technique he lifted like he’s been doing it his whole life! It’s like I could see his pecs and tris swelling up with each lift. Not that I was staring at the bitch or anything but he’s just I just need this fuckin’ diet thing to end so I can get back to my grind, I guess I wouldn’t hate taking him to the gym more often, would be hot to make a bitch into a bro Fuck! What am I writing, I just need to lift again.
Thursday March 24th-
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Andrew: 
Bro! Weird? Whatever, I am absolutely on fire! Steven’s diet is absolutely killer! I don’t know how it’s working so well but man I couldn’t care less, I felt like a pro in there! My coaches in school would always shit on me for not trying but man! I was barely trying yesterday but I could tell from the look on Steven’s face that I was acing it! I guess I’ll have to admit to him that he is definitely onto something with his macros but man, not until he gives up haha! Man, I need to chill haha, it’s not like I’m any stronger than I was Monday but man, looking at myself in the mirror it just seems like my clothes are just fitting better. Catching on my chest rather than my stomach y’know? I’ve never noticed that there is muscle on my arms before but man the way my sleeves are kinda hugging my biceps mm. I need to chill haha! Can’t use all my energy before hitting the gym again today!
OH! Also totally weird, I’ve had to shave twice this week! Once last night and then again this morning which is so weird! I’m not complaining though, it’s not like I wouldnt look hot with a beard right? Although my face is a little itchy already, my chest too? Whatever though haha! Time to head back to the grind lol!
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Steven:
God!! Andy Andrew is being such an asshole! He’s clogging the sink shaving which I know he would so be on my ass if I had done that. Wait, he did get on my ass for shaving! But it hasn’t been a problem this week, it’s like I’m not even growing stubble for some reason? Probably from not working so hard at the gym, is that how that works? Whatever it’ll be over as soon as this stupid diet thing is. We’re halfway through now. Thank God! Because that fucking twink is starting to stink up the dorm which again!! He was such a little bitch all the time to me about that! It’s like he’s literally stopped using deodorant as soon as he started needing it! He’s never exerted himself in his life and now that his pits are sweating at all he’s suddenly allergic to hygiene, ugh! I saw last night too the fucker fell asleep with his head in his pit too so it’s not like he doesn’t know it. 
It was a little surprising actually, cause I would’ve sworn he was hairless like one of those freak cats but man his pit was as thick as my pubes! Thicker maybe, uh? Man I wish I could get that image out of my head, it’s like the tuft was pushing out further each time he inhaled, man that’s kinda hot? Fuck! I swear this twink-ass diet is making me think like him too. I need to sneak to the gym later, without him. I cannot have him getting ahead even while I’m still on his chickenshit diet.
Friday March 25th-
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Steven:
Ah!! That Little bitch! He was already at the gym when I got there! Ugh! It makes me want to punch a wall, or fight him. Or something I dont know! It’s just, he was lifting my body weight on the bench when he saw me, it was so ho ugh! It doesn’t matter what it was, I can’t stop thinking of that smug look on his face- what I would give to wipe it off… That absolute prick knew what he was doing. Ugh, speaking of pricks! He may as well have not been wearing shorts at all by how much his cock was showing through them.
I knew my meal prepping was fucking tight but man, I can’t believe hot its made him. It just really fucking turns me on, or no its such a turn on for chicks. Yeah. Whatever. I need this bet to end already. Clearly he’s totally obsessed with my lifestyle so he should just admit it already! Also, hate to say it, but to Andrew’s credit his diet ain't too bad either. I’d never tell him this, and it is all a little emasculating but my skin has never looked this good. I’m not even doing skincare or anything but it’s like I’ve been on a routine for years, it’s crazy! It’s still ruining my upper gains but man, my ass looks so good it's crazy..
Oh also re: facial hair, I woke up this morning and could’ve sworn I used to have chest hair but now it looks like I’ve got just a little left around my nipples and leading up from my pubes? I might go ahead and shave those too, might as well be totally smooth like a chick right haha, I wonder what Andrew would think? I need to chill haha, maybe I’ll go see if he’s still at the gym~
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Andrew:
Fuuuuck dude lol. I should’ve started hitting up the gym ages ago. Don’t know what I was even wasting time on before I started doing twice-a-days? Studying I guess but I can figure that shit stuff out hm. Fuck it is so much better to be strong than a dweeb. Every set it feels like I’m just busting out new PR’s! Gonna need to buy new clothes though cause I am absolutely tearing up my crop tops, my twinky little wardrobe just isn’t cutting it anymore. Maybe Steven’d be down for a clothes swap, I’ve seen him eying up my fits all week, god knows he’ll fit them better lol. Oh haha, and speaking of him eying things up >:) You should’ve seen his little face blush when he walked into the gym this morning! He looked so pissed at me lol, but I’m not gonna grab him to come along every time I need to get some sets in right? It was pretty embarrassing for him yesterday anyway, the way I showed him up lol. I’m not just gonna sit around and watch him not lift weights when I can figure this shit out myself, thought it was supposed to be his thing though lol.
Mm, saying that though, I def didn’t hate having a little audience from his treadmill. God, his blushing face as he stared directly at my work-out chub. Fuck, it really got me going. It really helped my sets too haha. Maybe I should hit him up lol, I can tell how bad he wants me >:)
Saturday March 26th-
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Stevie:
Ugh! That douche is walking around the dorm completely shirtless! Do you know what it’s like to have an oaf flexing away across the room from you 24/7! He knows what he’s doing, and thank god my dick isn’t showing through my shorts like I thought it usually does because he might literally pounce on me then-
Ugh! I didn’t even mention this morning. I literally woke up to him jacking off his morning wood! Do you know what a bitch-fit he would have thrown if I did that! He would’ve filed a police report, probably the dweeb, or. I guess I could too?? But it was just so fucking hot. I tried to pretend I was asleep, but he totally caught me. He literally smirked and made eye contact as he finished too- thank god he didn’t see my boner as he asked if I wanted to clean up his mess. He’s such an ass! 
I still have a boner now actually, it’s his B.O. driving me actually crazy! It’s like I can’t think near him if he’s going to stink this bad god.. Oh, he’s doing pullups on the door frame fuck. He’s supposed to be hairless but I see sweat dripping from his pits god I can't. God with each pull up his chest looks even more powerful. His cock is bobbing up and down in his pants and I can not look away. Fuck it’s getting even bigger. I’m supposed to be the strong one right? It’s not, fuck. This isn’t right. He just so fucking, god that body, I need him-
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And Drew:
Heh. I knew that fucking twink couldn’t resist me. Every little thing I do wraps him even tighter around my finger. Every flex and smirk turns him on even more I bet he can’t even think straight the way his little dick is losing it in his briefs- I took all his jocks since I’m sure he would need them anymore. Bet the little bitch didn’t even remember they were his.  
Might as well have been drooling when he saw me jacking my cock this morning lol, surprised he didn’t take me up on the offer to lick up the mess. I know he wanted to lol. He’ll get the chance soon enough though >:) God it’s a two-way street though. That fucking twink is so fuckable now, thank god he doesn’t need to shave anymore, don’t want his peachfuzz scratching my cock cause god that mouth is so fuckable now.. To say nothing of his fucking juicy ass, god! I’ve been working out in the room all morning waiting for him to give in and ask me to fuck him, idk if I can hold it in much longer. I might need to jack it again, my balls are bluer than I ever thought they could be, fuck. It’s like they're sore. Ugh I feel them getting heavier, heh, that little fucker cant resist though. God I feel precum starting to pool in my jock. If I put my pit within a foot of his face I give him five before he can’t help but shove his face in. I need to fuck him, but as if I’m going to let him see how desperate I am. Stevie that little fucker. He’ll be riding my cock any second now.
Sunday March 27th-
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Stevie:
Fuck <3 !! He finally fucked me!! God, it was like nothing I’ve experienced before~ His cock was like a beer can and goddd the scratch of his beard as we were making out.. Hehe if I keep thinking about him I might just cum again right now! He can fully toss my body like a ragdoll and I’d thank him ugh! He’s just so hot, and to think he wants to fuck me!! Ah~ I’ll need to keep myself pretty so he won’t get tired of me hehe! Not that it’ll be a problem, I just need to keep on his diet, God who knew it would be this good! I don’t even remember whatever problems we had before all this and I can’t imagine anything better than getting fucked by him <3 Ah! He he~ He’s staring at my ass right now so I guess it’s time for another round! Can’t thank our R.A. enough for this idea, well he he I’ve got an idea for how to thank him, oh! Drew’s ripped off his jock! Wish me luck he he~
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Drew:
My little bitch is so tight, fuck. I’m surprised he can even take my cock but god can he ride it. Gonna have a hard time taking a break from fucking him to even hit the gym. Need to make sure the twink keeps up the diet tho or we’ll have an issue. Be sure to make him come to the gym whenever I do, if not to tighten up then to watch me heh. Won’t hate fucking him in the locker room too. Mm, God his fucking tiny body makes me feel so powerful. And I fucking am. God my bis are the size of his thick thighs, fuck his ass. My cock is straining my jock just thinking about it. His tiny waist ugh, I need my sweaty body over him now. Not like he’ll mind, the horny fucker. Mmm hope he’s ready to take my cock, bet his mouth is already watering heh. Pop my pecs at him and he’ll struggle not to cum on the spot, he better keep it together until I let him though. Can’t be having my bitch blow his load that fast. Thank fuck he’s chilled out finally, though I guess my cock’ll work wonders on anyone >:) speaking of it’s about that time again. Hope he’s ready for some more action, hate to have to find another hole.
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cvpidzcvrse · 3 months
Text
𝔐𝔦𝔡𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱 𝔖𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔰
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MDNI, pretty pls with a cherry on top
✫A/N: I’m rlly just pushing these fics out my pussy with no hesitation. talking abt pussy if u have one ur gonna love this one. this on is kinda shorter than my other ones but as always, enjoy this one loves!
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Synopsis: You were ovulating and you wanted dick, bad. But it’s almost 2 in the morning and your boyfriend is asleep, so what are you gonna do! You didn’t want to wake him up just for dick, or did you
⋆.ೃ࿔*・wc: 1,673
⋆.ೃ࿔*・Warnings: degradation, masturbation, praise, backshots, slight somno, riding, free use, oral masc!receiving, squirting, gentle, soft mdom, finishing inside (practice safe sex)
(the reader is black)
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During ovulation, most women turn into sex-addicted monsters or cock sluts. You’re leaning more towards cock slut. It was 1:30 am on a Tuesday night and your vibrator has become your best friend. You were currently assaulting your clit with your vibrator, going on orgasm number 3. The vibrator wasn’t enough though, you needed him. You let out a quiet moan before reaching your now third orgasm. You feel so pitiful, in the bathroom with the door locked, and sitting on the sink watching your pink bullet vibrator go crazy on your clit. You let out a sigh before cleaning up the mirror where juices flew. 
“Fuck, this sucks..”
You mumbled, fixing your bonnet and then sitting on the sink. You get your phone and start texting your friends. 
1:45 AM
(♡): “I’m so horny rn and nothing is working”
Sashaluv: “I know you are not telling us about your pussy problems at 1 am :/”
Mikamika: “Have you thought abt going to bed and not telling us abt it??”
You chuckle at Mikasa’s response before sighing and leaving the bathroom. You walk to your room and throw your phone somewhere in the room, not paying attention to where it went or what was open. 
You notice your semi-muscular and very shirtless boyfriend sleeping on your bed. Your clit is basically screaming for him, there’s no way you're turned on just by looking at this gorgeous man. His hair was down, messily framing his face, his toned chest moving every time he took a breath, and the hem of his pajama pants hanging low. You wish you could just pounce on him right now and grind your hungry pussy on his dick. Your hand travels down to the hem of your Pajama shorts. You fiddle with the edge of your underwear before finally reaching down and drawing small circles on your clit. 
“F-fuck…”
You use your other hand to cover your mouth as you trace the outline of your lips before finally putting 2 fingers in. You let out a shaky moan, and the grip on your mouth tightens as your speed increases. Eren’s facial features are even more beautiful now than ever, the moonlight is hitting his body just right. You can see every muscle, hair, and tattoo. Is this how he feels whenever fucking you? If so you now know why you guys fuck like rabid animals. Your vision gets cloudy as you soak your hands in your sweet juices. 
“I can’t take it anymore…I need him”
You huff before walking to the bed and climbing on top of him. He groans a bit at the sudden shift in weight before falling back into a daze. You start grinding on his cock slowly, your head dips back in pleasure. 
“Mama…”
Eren utters a breathy moan before rubbing his eyes. You’re lustful brown eyes meet his tired green ones, the way he looks at you drives you even more insane. 
“I hope I’m not dreaming, and my pretty girl is grinding her wet pussy on me…fuck”
He groans before putting his hands on your hips and making you grind harder. You bit your lip tightly, trying to keep a moan in your mouth. You feel his cock twitch inside his pants, you grind harder in response.
“You couldn’t sleep so you took matters into your own hands? Fuck…keep going.”
The bed creaks slightly every time you thrust your hips. Moans flooding out of your mouth like a pornstar. The way you and Eren fuck all the time you’re surprised your neighbors don’t think you are one.
“I can’t let you sleep like this mama, you wanna get fucked until you cum baby?”
You nod again, almost making it to orgasm number 5 of the night before he stops you. His long big hands bring your hips to a halt. You whimpered and looked down at his now lustful emerald eyes. 
“It’s never that straightforward baby and you know that. I’ll let you use me to your heart's content, but you’re not done until I say so.”
You nod in agreement and start untying his pajama pants before he grabs your wrist to stop you. 
 “You have to clean up after yourself afterward, I don’t want my pretty slut riding a messy cock.” 
His fuckboy smirk enveloped his handsome features. God…you hated that smirk, it only means he has something up his sleeves. But it gets your pussy wet every time, you're soaking through your shorts during this hot and heavy interaction.
“Fine, but just let me use you. Please.”
You gave him the best ‘give me dick.’ look you could muster, and it worked. He groaned softly before nodding. You quickly untie his pajama pants and pull them down. You take off your shorts and pushing your panties to the side. 
You grab the base of his cock and adjust yourself before sliding him into your cunt. You both let out deafening moans, you slowly grind on him still trying to adjust to his size.
"Good girl, show me how much you love my cock."
You slowly start bouncing on his cock. Eren admires the way your tits jump every time you bounce on his wood.
“Fuck…you’re so big…”
Eren grins before muttering curses under his breath. He grabs your love handles, forcing you to keep a slow and steady pace. You groaned at Eren’s stubbornness to let you do what you want. 
"I know mama, I know. Just do this f'me ok?"
You melted at his sweet words and his silky voice. Eren is the type of man to make you cum with the snap of his fingers. He’s fine, funny, a sweet talker, and has a big dick. What’s not to love? You got brought out of your own mind when Eren started tracing circles around your clit. 
“M-my clit…it’s sensitive! E-Eren, please.” 
He shakes his head, chuckling at your sudden change in character. 
“You were just begging for my cock, what happened? Did the cock slut finally have too much cock?” 
His pink lips gave you a fake pout to add to the condescending tone of his voice. Eren thrust his hips into you, leaving tiny kisses on your cervix every time. Your hands run down his chest and to his abs, feeling every muscle and vein on his torso. Eren feels you clench around him, causing a breathy moan to leave his mouth. 
“Ma, fuck…you can take it come on, cum on my cock.” 
You cry out as your juices cover his cock, Eren is hypnotized watching his cock slide in and out of you. He grunts before sliding you off of his cock. 
“You’re so pretty when you cum, now clean up your mess.” 
You’re completely cock drunk, the only thing you can think about is Eren's big cock in your cunt. You nod before crawling under the covers and grabbing his dick in your hands. You feel him jerk from your cold touch. You lick up the side of his shaft a couple of times before putting his full length in your throat.
“That throat feels good baby. Let me fuck your throat.” 
He grabs the top of your bonnet pushing you as far as you can go. Tears start forming in the corner of your eyes before you start bobbing your head. You can hear Eren mumbling your name under his breath, you take that as a sign that you’re doing a good job.
“Fuck ma I’m about to cum…”
You use your hand to stroke his cock while you suck it, sending him over the edge.
“I wanna cum inside of you, get back up here.”
You do one last stroke of his cock before he pulls you under him. With your face stuffed in the pillow and your ass in the air, it doesn’t take long before Eren rubs your entrance with the tip of his cock. 
“You’re so wet for me baby, show me who this cock belongs to.”
He whispers in your ear, trailing soft kisses up your back before shoving his dick inside of you with no warning. You yelp in surprise, his cock spreading you apart so good. He starts with a steady pace before it turns into violent backshots. Your moans are muffled in the pillow and you’re clawing at the sheets. 
“Eren! Fuck…slow down.”
You don’t even have to see him to know he’s grinning ear to ear. You hear him click his tongue in response 
“No mama, you can take it. I’ve trained this pussy well. Come on, say ‘I can take it’. Say it”
You sobbed into the pillow, not daring to move your hand back to try to stop him. The pleasure is too much, and truthfully you enjoyed it.
“I…I c-can…mmph…take it…”
You were able to get the statement out even between the torment Eren is putting your cervix through. 
“You can take what ma? Say for me and I’ll let your pretty pussy cum.”
He whispers in your ear, his hands running up and down your body. He’s leaving hickeys and bite marks all over your neck. 
“I…fuck…I can…I can take it! I love it! Fuck…I love your cock!”
You look like a pornstar right now and Eren is loving it. The drool hanging from your two-toned lips, your pink bonnet slipping off your head exposing your knotless braids, the way your plump ass slams against his pelvis, and your puffy pussy wrapped around his cock. 
“I’m about to…mmph…cum!”
You sob before coving his cock in more of your juices. He follows closely after, shooting white ropes inside of you and leaving a rim of your mixed fluids around the base of his cock. Eren collapses on top of you, leaving a trail of passionate kisses along your neck. 
“You did so well mama, you're such a good girl…”
He trails off, tracing small shapes into your skin.
“Thanks…for the help, I love you…”
“I love you too…”
3:29 AM
(♡): [Audio message]
Sashaluv: “I’m guessing she fixed her pussy problem…:/”
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