#but I don’t trust the majority of doctors and also.

[rubysparx]

Is there like. A place for intersex ppl who didn’t know until recently in intersex communities online.. I guess that sounds really fucking stupid outloud idk I’m thinkingg abt stuff..

[g-n-c-quoi]

the anti-endo side of the internet is rotting my brain by the second what are you people DOING

this is a little bit about the new octocon app but just in general-

speaking as a medically recognized (not diagnosed for safety reasons but doctors are aware) P-DID system, i cannot believe i have to say this, but endogenic systems are entirely unharmful and you look ridiculous trying to pretend they do

“DID/OSDD/etc is a trauma disorder!!” you would be hard pressed to find an endogenic system actually claiming to have those disorders. the vast majority of them have self described as non-disordered

“you can’t be a system without trauma!!” do we know that for a fact? dissociative disorder research is so full of stigma and misinformation that it’s mind boggling, do you honestly trust the dsm-5 to have literally every example of being a system ever written down verbatim?

also systems can be intentionally created for spiritual or personal reasons, please google search tulpamancy

also also it’s incredibly weird and potentially dangerous in some cases to demand proof that someone has experienced life altering brain damaging trauma before you can respect them as who they say they are

“they’re stealing resources!” literally what resources. therapy? they’re stealing therapy? please be serious.

w/ regards to pk/sp and octocon- what tangible harm is it doing to you for someone who calls themselves an endo system to use the same app as you. answer quickly.

i don’t even particularly care that much about this, i’ve largely stopped talking about being a system online because of how mind numbingly absurd the community is, i just cannot overstate how little this discourse matters

if someone is earnestly and intentionally faking being a system then the consequences of that behavior that turn up in their social life will be more than enough without you ridiculing them relentlessly for something that most of the time has little if any material impact

you’re just diet fakeclaiming please find something else to do with your time than bothering people who aren’t bothering you

[sansaorgana]

So I loved the way you wrote Buck with his scars! My heart was breaking! Could you maybe write one where he hates them and the reader comforts them and kisses his scars?

hi, sugar! 🥰 I am trying to write these requests chronologically but I couldn't wait to write this one, especially after seeing today's episode because domestic Buck is something I just NEED 😍 I added a whole plot around it, so you can also expect some of jealous Gale 👀 basically, his wife befriended some man when he was away and now he's jealous and insecure that he's not so handsome anymore lol like it's even possible

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

Buck stepped on the stool to take off the last of the Welcome Home signs as his wife stood below with her hand gently put on his thigh, making sure he wouldn’t fall. She didn’t want to miss any opportunity to touch him ever since he had come back.

Buck smiled to himself. It still felt odd to be back home and to be around his wife’s comforting presence, surrounded by her love and affection.

He furrowed his brows at the ceiling’s colour, though. It was oddly snow white and he remembered that it had been needing a renovation when they had moved in a few weeks before his departure to Europe.

“The ceiling’s been painted,” he pointed out as he handed his wife the paper sign and she took it from him to put it away.

“Yes. Ritchie’s done it,” she answered casually.

Buck froze for a second before stepping down from the stool and taking a better look at his wife. She didn’t look as if she was hiding some secret, though.

“Who is Ritchie?” He tried to remain cool. He had no right to be jealous. He didn’t want to be one of those husbands who didn’t want their wives to have any male friends.

Still, he was jealous.

“Oh, Ritchie, he’s just a… Just a friend, I mean…” (Y/N) chuckled and he could see her eyes sparkling. Buck’s jaw clenched at that reaction. “He’s a doctor, a local doctor, you know.”

“Do I know him?” Buck asked, trying to remember if he had known any Ritchies.

“No, no, honey, he was sent here when you had been… away,” she sighed. “I met him at the party…” (Y/N) got nervous explaining and Buck furrowed his brows at her. “I didn’t want to go, my friends forced me, I swear, Buck. It gave me no pleasure to dance and have fun knowing that you were… at some camp, I…” She shook her head and her eyes filled with tears.

“Shh,” Buck put his arms around her and brought her closer to place a kiss on the top of her head. “I hoped you would go out sometimes and have fun. I never wanted you to sit at home alone and cry all day and night. I hoped you’d know that, baby.”

“I know… Well, Ritchie was there. He wasn’t sent to Europe because we need doctors here, too,” (Y/N) sniffed her tears back and looked up at her husband. “He offered me help around the house. He painted the ceiling and took care of that spare room that might be a nursery one day… He fixed the drain and helped to mow the grass. You know, that sort of stuff,” (Y/N) explained. “I don’t know what I’d do without him, Buck. And he did that all for free!”

“For free, you say?” Buck raised an eyebrow. She looked so sweet and innocent, he didn’t want to accuse her of anything but he didn’t trust other men as much as he trusted his girl.

“Completely!” She assured him and nodded her head. “I wanted to pay him, I really did. But he told me that my husband was serving the country and it was his duty to help. He’s a sweetheart, really, Buck,” she tried to convince her husband. “In fact,” (Y/N) took a step back and smiled, “I think you should meet him. I think you’ll adore him! And you should thank him, too.”

“Thank him?” Buck asked, surprised. Perhaps she was right. He should. After all, that man had helped his wife enormously. But the ugly jealousy was too overwhelming.

“Of course!” (Y/N) gave him a scolding look. “Don’t you think he deserves to be thanked? Let me call him! I’ll invite him for dinner. He’s usually free on Sundays,” she ran to the telephone.

Buck only watched as she excitedly dialled the number she had memorised by heart. After a short while, someone on the other side of the line picked up and she smiled widely.

“Hey-ho, Ritchie, darling!” She started and Buck chewed on the inside of his cheek. He leaned on the wall, trying to look cool about it but he was exploding inside. “I was thinking that perhaps you’d join us for dinner tonight? I’d make that lasagna you like so much!” (Y/N) told her friend.

Buck tried not to look surprised that the mysterious Ritchie had his favourite dish already.

The truth was, Buck didn’t have any favourite dish (Y/N) made. And he hadn’t done much around this house before his departure either. They had gotten married two months before. He had been away for more than a year. That Ritchie guy had spent more time with his wife than he had. And it was killing him inside to realise that.

His wife had been everything that made his will to survive so strong. To see her again, to smell her, to touch her, to hear her laugh. She had saved him hundreds of times without even realising. And of course, as he had said to her, he hadn’t wanted her to spend all her days crying after him. But it still stinged his heart that she had some gentleman friend around. Cooking for him, renovating the house together, God-only-knows what else…

“Oh, no, you won’t be a bother!” (Y/N) shook her head to the receiver. “Buck wants to meet you and thank you for everything,” she turned around to smile at her husband. “Well, in two hours perhaps? Great!”

She put the receiver down and approached Buck to hug him and kiss his cheek.

“I can’t believe you’re here with me again… It feels so surreal,” she admitted.

He only hugged her closer, trying not to say anything. All he could feel was jealousy and he didn’t want to open his mouth and accidentally hurt her with his words.

Doctor Ritchie Nelson was older than Buck had expected – around 40. And much more handsome, too. Buck had naively hoped it would be some senior man living down the street or something like that. But no, he looked like a fucking actor. He had shiny black hair and bright blue eyes. He was a few inches taller and his clothes were very elegant.

Buck shook his hand to greet him when he opened the door.

“Major,” Ritchie saluted and then he gave Buck the most wonderful smile. Buck swallowed thickly.

Fuck me, he thought.

“Just call me Buck, doc,” he only said.

“And you call me Ritchie, son,” Ritchie walked inside as if the house had been his.

Buck closed the door behind him. He didn’t like being called son by that man even if he was older. But he didn’t want to start an argument and make his wife sad. She seemed to be very excited about the two of them finally meeting.

“(Y/N)’s in the kitchen now. She will serve the food in a moment. Follow me,” Buck headed to the dining room, painfully realising how stupid his words must have sounded. Of course Ritchie knew where to go.

But Ritchie didn’t say anything to that and took his place by the table.

“Hello, (Y/N)!” He raised his voice in the kitchen’s direction.

“Hello, sweetheart!” (Y/N) greeted him back and Buck took a seat across the table so he could face the man.

Before he could open his mouth to ask about something, his wife went inside with the plates. She put the food on the table and joined them, sitting right in between. 

“So, your wife told me that you went down over Bremen,” Ritchie started so naturally. He had to be born with this charm and charisma. “That was hell of a mission, I’ve heard on the radio.”

“Oh, Ritchie, let’s not talk about the war, can we?” (Y/N) batted her eyelashes at him. “Please,” she laid her eyes on her husband and Buck nodded at her.

He also didn’t want to talk about the war. Especially with a man who had not been there.

“Of course,” Ritchie cleared his throat.

“I’d rather listen to your stories,” Buck told him. “What did I miss ‘round town?”

He quickly regretted asking that question. (Y/N) and Ritchie were telling him all sorts of stories and gossip about local women, drunkards, policemen, priests, divorces and marriages, new children getting born... He wouldn’t mind that itself but the way they interacted with each other made his heart sink deep in his chest.

(Y/N) was mostly looking at Ritchie and her eyes were sparkling whenever he said something funny. She would often touch his wrist when she was laughing and they had a ton of inside jokes that Buck didn’t even want to ask about.

“Oh, you tell that story. You tell it the best!” She would say often and then she would interrupt Ritchie all the time to add her own details. But Ritchie didn’t seem to mind.

Buck couldn’t handle it anymore. He stood up suddenly and they looked up at him, questioningly.

“Are you alright, darling?” (Y/N) asked him, worryingly.

“Yes, I just… I want water…” Buck said and she nodded her head.

He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass before leaning on the counter and watching his wife still talking to Ritchie. They looked so natural together, so comfortable around each other.

In fact, she looked more relaxed around Ritchie than around Buck. The truth was that things had been awkward between them. When they were alone, they would sit in silence most of the time. And she didn’t look as relaxed as she did now.

Buck clenched his jaw and joined them by the table again, even though he felt as if he was a third wheel.

“Oh, Buck, baby, I forgot to tell you,” (Y/N) grabbed his arm and then she pointed at Ritchie. “Ritchie used to be a model.”

Fucking wonderful, Buck thought. But he pretended to be surprised as he laid his eyes at the other man.

“Oh, please,” Ritchie rolled his eyes and chuckled.

The worst part of Ritchie was that he was not mean. He wasn’t teasing Buck or trying to show off. He really was a nice man... who just happened to have a good relationship with Buck’s wife.

“I mean it! Back in the 30s. He was on the cover of the magazine!” (Y/N) finished the story. “I mean, look at him,” she laid her eyes on Ritchie. “40 this year and face so smooth,” her voice sounded almost dreamy.

Buck moved uncomfortably in his seat. His face was far from smooth now with a few scars scattered on his cheeks. They were not deep but he could see them every time he looked in the mirror. A painful reminder of what he had been through. He would never have a face like Ritchie fucking Nelson. He had already been uncomfortable with the scars but now he hated them.

He took a better look at his wife. God, she was so pretty. So full of life. She deserved someone like her. Not a man broken by the war like him.

“I actually could sign a contract and go to Hollywood,” Ritchie confessed, a little shyly.

“But he chose to refuse and become a doctor,” (Y/N) shook her head and looked at Buck. “Can you believe that? I’d choose Hollywood,” she joked and Ritchie laughed.

Buck forced a chuckle. He couldn’t focus on her words anymore anyway.

“It’s getting late,” Ritchie took a glance at his watch. “I’m opening my cabinet tomorrow in the early morning. I should be going now.”

“Of course,” (Y/N) nodded and stood up to walk him to the front door. Buck remained in the dining room and waited for her to be back.

It took her quite a long time to say goodbye to her friend. He almost stood up himself to check on them but that was when she finally joined him and sat back by that table.

An awkward silence occurred between them.

“Isn’t he lovely?” (Y/N) started as she played with the food on her plate.

“Yes,” Buck nodded. “Damn, I forgot to thank him.”

“It’s alright. He doesn’t really expect that. You can do that next time, too,” she took his hand in hers and caressed it gently.

He hated to see her more stiff and awkward around him than she had been around Ritchie.

“I’ll wash the dishes,” she sighed and stood up, taking the plates from the table.

Buck stood in front of the mirror in the morning and looked at his freshly shaven face. Last night he had a nightmare again and he didn’t get a lot of sleep. His eyes missed the spark he had had before his departure to Europe. They were tired now and sadder, no matter how much he tried to be the same man as before. There were a few new wrinkles on his forehead, too. And those awful scars on his cheeks. His face was definitely not smooth.

“Knock, knock, baby,” (Y/N) opened the door gently. “What is taking you so long? I thought you were shaving,” she smiled softly at him. “I started to worry.”

“I got distracted, sorry,” he reached out for the towel to wipe the remaining shaving cream off of his face but (Y/N) approached him to do it herself.

“Aw, look at you, my handsome husband,” she gave him a warm and loving smile.

He hated that little voice in his head telling him that she had said that out of pity.

“Not anymore,” Buck chuckled nervously and put an aftershave on.

“What are you talking about?” (Y/N) furrowed her brows as she stared at his reflection in the mirror.

He only shook his head, scared that he would start crying if he said something now.

“Gale?” She asked softly as she delicately put her hand on his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, look at my face now,” he turned around to face her as his voice trembled.

“I am looking, baby,” she bit on her lower lip and placed her hands on his cheeks to caress them gently with her thumbs. “Do you mean those scars, love?” She asked, nervously.

Buck only nodded as his eyes filled with tears.

“Can I be honest with you, my darling?” She asked and he nodded again. “Well, I didn’t want to mention them when you came back home. I didn’t know if I could, I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or sad… But I wanted to tell you…” she hesitated for a moment and his heart skipped a beat.

He expected her to tell him now that they were indeed ugly or making him less attractive. Of course, she would later tell him she loves him despite them and all that jazz. What else would she say?

“I know that they’re on your face because you’ve been hurt and in pain, so I don’t feel good saying this but… Well, I think they make you look even more handsome,” she admitted and Buck’s eyes widened a little. “Am I a bad wife for thinking that?” She asked, nervously. “I’m sorry if I am. But you look so brave, my darling. And so handsome. They make me feel so proud to be your wife when I see them,” she leaned in to place small kisses up and down one of his cheeks and then the other.

“I thought you liked Ritchie’s soft face…” Buck muttered out.

“Wh-what?” (Y/N) took a step back to look deep into his eyes, her hands still caressing his cheeks. “Oh, you’re jealous?”

“Well, how can I not be?” Buck held her wrists gently and moved them out of his face to place soft kisses upon her knuckles. One at the time. “He spent more time with you than me. You’re so comfortable around him. I’m glad you had a friend when I was gone. But I can’t help not to be jealous,” he confessed. “He’s not as broken as me.”

“Gale,” (Y/N) shook her head. “You’re the only man for me. I’ve been waiting for you here, each day and night. And those silly scars you’re so bothered about? Goddamit, I was praying to all the gods in the world to bring you back to me, even without arms or legs, so what do they even matter? They’re nothing. I just wanted my husband back with me!” She began to tear up.

“I know,” Buck brought her closer to hug her. “I’m not accusing you of anything, I know.”

“Oh, you’d be an idiot if you accused me,” she chuckled through the tears.

“Why?” He asked and rubbed her back.

“Because Ritchie… He��” She tried to find the right words. “Well, he doesn’t like women, if you know what I mean.”

Oh.

What a burden had just left Buck’s heart. He chuckled out of relief.

“Yeah, I should have… I should have known. There was something about him,” he admitted.

“He’ll be flattered that you thought of him as competition. It means you find him attractive,” (Y/N) giggled and Buck rolled his eyes before hugging her even tighter. “I love you, Major Cleven,” she squeezed him tighter too. “All of you, all the scars and all the breaks you claim to have.”

Buck was left speechless for a moment. He just kept holding her and kissed her temple before finally speaking up.

“I love you, too, Mrs. Cleven.”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[badwolfrose34]

Girl in the Fireplace Rant (cont.)

There was at least some engagement on my last post about this so I decided I will in fact post a follow up. GitF was 100% a bad faith episode. Moffat wrote it because he is classist and misogynistic and hates Rose. Unfortunately, part of his purpose for the episode was to show that the Doctor will always prefer a “classy” aristocrat over Rose and he wanted to have her treated as nothing. So, all of us Rose fans have to come up with a headcanon that undermines the writer’s intentions.

I think the most common one is to believe the episode was the Doctor’s attempts to push Rose away because of her mortality and how that scares him.

That never worked for me because a major part of the Doctor’s character is his protectiveness. He would never push her away to the point of danger or abandonment. For me, I feel that fictional or not, the actions of the Doctor in that episode would be entirely unforgivable if they did happen. So my headcanon is that this episode was a nightmare Rose had.

If you are like me are also one of the fans for whom the pushing her away theory doesn’t work, read on for my explanation of why I don’t think GitF could be an actual event within canon. Moffat may be a BBC writer but it doesn’t give him a right to completely undermine the show, it doesn’t actually belong to anyone outside of financial concerns. If you’re content with believing he needed to push Rose away and that the episode did happen, you can ignore this.

Why the events GitF did not happen within canon (but could’ve happened as a nightmare)

1. Doctor Who canon is very loose as it is. With multiple writers across multiple mediums, things do contradict each other and us as fans get to decide for ourselves what fits with canon and what does not.

2. The Doctor has been clearly shown to be in love with Rose. He is protective of her to the point that if a decision will kill everyone else but give her even a slight chance of survival, he can’t actually make that decision. He almost did in Dalek, but after she didn’t get through the barricade the first time he was incapable of significantly reducing her safety for the good of everyone else. He snapped awake from a regeneration coma just because Rose said “help me”. He freaked out when Cassandra had her body and again in Tooth and Claw when she was in trouble. If you count Stone Rose that almost certainly took place before GitF and he once again, lost his mind over Rose being a statue.

I do understand seeing Sarah Jane age freaked him out. And I could’ve understood him distancing himself from Rose a bit in some way. But his instinct to protect her is so strong he’d never sacrifice her safety to push her away. Leaving her alone with clockwork for an extended period of time while he partied and invented drinks is impossible enough. Let alone the way he believed he’d have no way back to the ship when he went through the time window for the last time. Not only had he just promised she could spend the rest of her life with him, but her and Mickey would’ve likely died alone on that abandoned spaceship.

Simply, it’s just too out of character to happen within the rest of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors’ canon.

3. The horse. I have been a big horse person my entire life. Horses have extremely strong flight instincts. Even the most trusting and well trained horse in the world is never going to jump through reinforced glass. I do realize as Sci Fi fans we have to suspend disbelief for a lot of things. But we are never given an explanation as to why this horse would behave so dramatically differently from another horse. Every bizarre thing we accept in the DW universe is explained to some extent. There is a book where the Doctor tames a horse with psychic paper. But that horse is never asked to violate its instincts. That horse behaves as any other tame horse behaves. That is an example of acceptable DW suspension of belief. There is still a sci fi/alien technical explanation and I can absorb it. I cannot absorb a horse jumping through a firm glass window unless they were running from something even scarier. No matter how well trained a horse is, it’s not jumping through glass just because a humanoid asked them to. Nothing was chasing Arthur and his body language did not suggest any kind of fear to indicate he was running from something even scarier. All the droids were already in the other side of the window as well. It’s simply bizarre and impossible, even in a sci fi snow. Within this very show the Doctor states you can’t hypnotize someone beyond their survival instincts. I believe this applies to horses and a horse’s instincts is to avoid jumping through or into a reinforced barrier.

Next, we are given no explanation as to how this horse jumped through glass unscathed. Glass that was said to be so strong only a truck could break through. Horses are also extremely delicate and many have fatally injured themselves just playing in the paddock. Even for injuries not that extreme, every horse person knows that even small things result in giant vet bills.

Finally, it is once again grossly out of character for the Doctor to take a living animal and make them do something he previously calculated would required a truck.

4. Things are back to normal as if the episode never happened by the Rise of the Cybermen. If the Doctor had really developed feelings for another woman so strong that he would leave Rose for dead, then lost her, would he just be back to being the same old Doctor the very next episode? I doubt it. The Doctor is also a character known for holding on to guilt. Even if Reinette was mechanism to push Rose away, the way he abandoned her would’ve caused enough guilt he wouldn’t just be normal the very next episode. The show carries on as if Reinette never happened because Reinette never happened.

The only reference to that GitF is some clockwork droids in John Smith’s journal. Which could be explained by another encounter with the droids or by the Doctor looking at Rose’s mind to see the nightmare. Which would be an intimate enough moment to imprint on John Smith’s subconscious. The words “a girl in every fireplace” can once again refer to the Doctor seeing Rose’s nightmare or another off screen adventure entirely. There is no reference strong enough to confirm the actual events of GitF ever happened. The show functions exactly the same way without it. Because, it never happened.

5. The events of the show make perfect sense as a nightmare in Rose’s head. Take it from someone with a degree in psychology. Rose has abandonment wounds from Jimmy Stone. She also has abandonment wounds from her father dying when she was too young to understand it. School Reunion, the episode right before GitF triggers her abandonment wounds by making her see the Doctor has previously left companions and did not come back for them. It also makes her wonder if she is special to the Doctor. These doubts combined with her past trauma are a perfect recipe for her to have a bizarre nightmare where she gets abandoned in the most horrific way after the events of School Reunion.

I will leave you all with my fic where this was all a nightmare. Or you can write your own if you prefer. My point is that for those who feel the way I do about this episode, we do not have to accept the events as canon. We do not have to believe the Doctor has ever treated Rose this way except in her worst nightmares.

Update to address Deep Breath:

1. Doctor mentioned seeing clockwork droids before, but we know that the Doctor has many off screen adventures. He could’ve encountered the droids at any other point in his entire life besides GitF.

2. As for that episode stating the SS Madame De Pompadour existed, that still doesn’t confirm anything. There was a real life ship called the USS Queen of France. This was named for Marie Antoinette. Jackie dated a sailor once and Rose had a friend named Keisha whose brother was a sailor. This means Rose could’ve heard one of them discussing historical naval ships. This how she would imagine a ship named after Madame de Pompadour in the first place. She and the people who built the SS Madame de Pompadour and SS Marie Antoinette would’ve simply drawn inspiration from the same place. Also, there’s the fact that someone named a fictional ship Titan many years before Titanic ever existed.

Update 2: Rose was going to get an A level in French if she hadn’t run off with Jimmy. So she could’ve reasonably been familiar with some aspects of French history and able to imagine all of these things in a dream, even if it wasn’t a historically accurate dream, everyone knows weird things happen in dreams.

[lunarsilver]

What do your spirit guides want to tell you?

For this reading, I used a deck with only Major Arcana, to get more general but "big", powerful messages. This is what your spirit guides want to tell and advise you really bad.

Arts are from volume covers of Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.

1 ~ 2 3 ~ 4

PILE 1

Temperance - The High Priestess - The Sun R - Back of the Deck: The Emperor R

Maybe because the first two cards in my deck present women, plus especially because of the High Priestess, but what comes to my mind immediately is “femininity”. This is an encouragement to lean more into what is traditionally feminine. The more I look into the cards, the clearer this message is - there’s Temperance, the card of balance, there’s the feminine High Priestess, and there’s the masculine Emperor in reverse. Temperance asks you to balance your life more. Work-life balance, logic-emotions balance, as well as how you act around people. Your spirit guides suggest trying to work together and be a team player, both Temperance and the High Priestess tell you this. The High Priestess is also an invitation to trust your intuition more, to tap more into your spirituality. Maybe your spirit guides would like to talk more to you, and they wish you would let them. With the Sun in reverse, they suggest you should have some fun, do what brings you joy, and listen to your inner child. The Emperor in reverse suggests you could have a not fully healthy relationship with your traditionally masculine traits (I want to make this clear - I always write “traditionally” for a reason, think about it as your relationship with what society expects of you, with gender stereotypes). Your spirit guides want you to reflect on how you look at your relationships with other people. Treat them as your equals, they’re neither better nor worse than you. It won’t resonate with everyone, of course, but I keep having this image of someone working an office job who is kind of bitter and so focused on one aspect of their life that they forget the little joys of life and don’t treat their coworkers/subordinates nicely. So, to sum it up, reevaluate your priorities, find some time to be alone with your own thoughts, with your hobbies, and try to treat other people equally. And give your spirit guides a call.

PILE 2

Temperance R - The Hierophant R - The Hanged Man R - Back of the Deck: The Fool 

It’s interesting how, just like in Pile 1, the first card is Temperance, but this time in reverse. Similarly, the message here is to reevaluate what you give attention to and balance your life, but it’s even more urgent. It’s not wise to spend too much on something or to focus on only one aspect of your life, ignoring other ones. Your spirit guides tell you to put some time into self-healing and taking care of yourself. Maybe some home spa would be good, nurturing both your body and mind. Next, the Hierophant in reverse is all about making your own path, challenging the status  quo, and not caring as much about the approval of others. Your spirit guides encourage you to find your own voice and speak your mind. Do what is right for you. The reversed Hanged Man tells you it’s time to stop living your life on autopilot and actually start doing something. Think about what you would like to do, make a plan and do it. The Fool at the back just highlights how much your spirit guides want you to embark on a new journey. Don’t be scared of new beginnings. This whole reading emphasizes how important it is to make some changes in your life, and while doing so, keep in mind what will make you happy. You, not someone else. You are the master of your own fate, nobody else can live your life for you. Your spirit guides are with you, so stop merely existing and start to live. It may be scary at first, but you’ve got it!

PILE 3

The Star R - The Magician - The Hermit - Back of the Deck: The Wheel of Fortune

Right off the bat, there’s a lot of gold and some brown, white and blue color-wise, which makes me feel you should take a closer look at your finances and your earthly matters, but also don’t forget about the more spiritual things. Another interesting thing is how the Magician and the Hermit have a similar pose, both with their arms raised, as if creating something out of thin air or launching an attack. Now, getting to the cards themselves, you had a harder time, huh? The Star in reverse tells me that you could start to doubt whether there is something good for you in this life, whether some higher forces are there for you - and here your spirit guides are, screaming that yes, they are here for you, they always are. So nourish yourself, remember what’s important for you and what you want to do, and do it. The Magician says that, once you get in the right mindset, you have everything needed to manifest your desires. Stop self-loathing, stop procrastinating, it’s time to do the THING. Your passion project, your art, your book, your dance. With the Hermit, your spirit guides encourage you to look inward and take some time for yourself. As I wrote at the beginning, both the Magician and the Hermit in this deck have similar poses, they both create something, and they lay here next to each other. At the same time, there’s this interesting contrast, as one is more dark and blue and kind of nocturnal, while the other is gold and bright. I think these parallels are here to tell you how important it is to both think and act, as only then will you  create what you want. Only thinking about your goal won’t take you anywhere, only acting without thinking can lead to a catastrophe. With the Wheel of Fortune, your spirit guides once again tell you that you’re not alone and everything is temporary, nothing lasts forever. You may feel hopeless right now, but “this too shall pass”.

PILE 4

The Moon - The Chariot R - Strength - Back of the Deck: The Hermit

This pile is all about being with you yourself. Your spirit guides encourage you to have some alone time and not act recklessly. The Moon is about your fears - your spirit guides encourage you to deal with them and stop running away. However, it’s more about healing your inner child and doing some shadow work than about dealing with them in a more physical way. Write a journal, think about therapy. There are some issues here that you need to work through. Tap more into your intuition and be patient, as you may not have the full picture right now. Next, the Chariot and Strength are both about, well, strength - but the Chariot is more about the outer strength and will, while Strength is more about the inner one. And here we have the reversed Chariot. Both of these cards together emphasize how you should work on your self-discipline and commitment. You have this kind of quiet strength for influencing and persuading without raising your voice. This kind of confidence and strength is not as visible as the loud one, but it isn’t a reason to underestimate you. The Hermit at the back yet again tells you to look into yourself and spend some time with your thoughts. Your spirit guides think you can do a lot of things once you start dealing with your fears and insecurities and realize you can be powerful in more ways than one. Your inner strength is your power.

[nina-ya]

Patching up Laws Wounds

Zoro Law Sanji Shanks Ace Luffy Sabo Doflamingo

Pairing: Law x GN!Reader CW: Needles, suturing, mentions of cuts, poor medical knowledge on readers part. WC: 973

A fierce battle has left everyone in the current state they’re in: battered, cut and bruised. Your Captain, Law, has taken the time to help patch up the rest of the crew, but has refused to look at his own injuries deeper than just wrapping them up. Every attempt to aid him was met with stern orders to leave him alone, choosing to deal with his injuries on his own despite his state of exhaustion from the battle and overuse of his devil fruit. However, you are not one to back down. When Law had told you to shoo, you planted your feet firmly and simply said, “No.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, clearly taken aback. “No? Did you really just say no?”

You nod at him. “Yep. I will not just leave you like this, Captain. You’re far too exhausted to treat yourself so no, I will not leave you. Let me help.”

His expression is a mix of disbelief and amusement. “You know this is insubordination, right? Refusing to obey my orders?”

You reply without hesitation, “Throw me in the brig, make me scrub the ship top to bottom, punish me for insubordination however you please, but let me help you.” 

He stares at you, face almost blank, before deeply sighing and agreeing. “Fine whatever. I guess you’re the person I would rather trust with this.”

With a nod, he leads you to the med bay of the ship and takes a seat on one of the patient beds. He unwraps the bandages on his body to reveal that it’s littered with cuts and bruises, leaving you gasping in surprise. “What? You wanted to help,” he remarks with a hint of sarcasm.

You couldn’t hide your astonishment “I didn’t expect you to have so many wounds on you!”

He rolls his eyes at your reaction. “I did do the majority of the work; it should be expected.”

“Shut up…” you grumble as you inspect his injuries. You examine the wounds for a moment before muttering “hmm… it looks bad… you might have sepsis, yeah the wounds look like they’re herniating and you might also have some melanoma.” 

He looks at you utterly bewildered at the sentence you just uttered. “Huh? Do you even know what you just said?”

“I’ve been nose-deep inside your medical books, picking up a thing or two,” You reply with confidence.

“But sepsis? Herniating? Melanoma? Those are all serious conditions. Do you even know what those words mean?”

You shook your head “Nope, but since I’m now your temporary doctor you’ll have to settle with my medical knowledge for now.”

He lets out a groan. “Well, let me help you out, temporary doctor I do not have sepsis, nothing on my body is herniating and I sure as hell don’t have melanoma. I have internal bleeding and a bunch of lacerations on my body that need to be stitched up.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah oh, now go get the suture kits, you know where they are right?” He asks. 

You nod and grab a few suture kits. You lay them on the table next to you and open one up. 

“The one on my abdomen is the deepest, so stitch that one up first.” Law instructs.

You pull out the needle and suture and grab some forceps. You take a look at the wound and start suturing. Your first few passes of the needle are rushed and unsteady. You hear law wincing above you when he finally snaps. “I asked you to sew me up, not maim me!” He sees your reaction and takes a few deep breaths calming down. “Sorry… Here, let me show you. He takes the needle and forceps out of your hand and starts suturing up his own cut with precision and accuracy. He hands them back to you. “See? Like that. Try again.”

You go to start suturing again, but your hands are a bit shaky from the nerves. He notices this and sighs. He places one hand over your own to stop you and uses the other to grab your chin and tilt it up to meet his gaze. “Calm down. It’s only a suture,” he reassures you, his voice surprisingly gentle. “Just take a deep breath and try again slowly and calmly.” 

The action of him grabbing your chin like that surprises you, but his words and the comforting gaze in his eyes is enough to calm you down. You nod at him and take a deep breath before starting your sutures again. You are slow and meticulous, hoping to not hurt the Surgeon of Death that is sitting right in front of you. You focus intensely, your eyebrows furrowing and your tongue slightly poking out of your mouth as you do so. 

Adorable… Law thinks to himself. His gaze grows soft as he continues to watch your handiwork. He encourages you along the way, muttering small praises. 

Once you’re done you look at him with anticipation. “Done, is it okay?’ 

He runs his finger over the stitches and a smirk forms on his face. “Not bad… though you can do better.”

You frown slightly at his critique

“Luckily for you though,” Law continues, “I have plenty more wounds that need stitching. So come on, get stitching.”

You begin stitching up his other cuts as well. The moment is intimate in a way. You two fall into a comfortable silence and he just watches you with utter affection as you mend him. By this point he is very much able to patch up his own wounds, but he needs an excuse to get close to you, to feel your touch. The Captain may not admit it out loud, but he has fallen for you and cherishes every moment he has with you, even if a little pain has to come with it. 

[saintjosie]

so i’ve noticed some weird things about my hrt after i’ve made some (involuntary) changes.

i can’t get my valerate or progesterone prescriptions filled until the end of the month cause i need to switch doctors and i live in south carolina, and i just so happened to have an emergency reserve of estrogen pills and tblockers cause i tend to panic if i don’t have my hrt.

but weirdly after stopping progesterone i feel MUCH better. i’m sleeping better, my monthly cramps aren’t as bad, and my sex drive has come back. the last time i was at the doctor (i trust her a ton cause she’s not only well informed but as good of an ally as you can be) she told me that new research suggests that prog might not be necessary or healthy and now im starting to wonder if there might be something to that. i’ve been on prog for the last three and a half years and haven’t had any major gaps but ive been out of it for a little over a month now and i dont think im gonna go back on it.

i wonder if anyone has experienced similar?

also since stopping injections and doing the pills again, i feel less moody, more emotionally consistent, have more energy, and also i don’t have to stick a needle in my leg once a week so im probably gonna stick with that too even though ive been doing injections for over two years now.

anyone else gone back to pills after being on injections for awhile?

also prog is expensive and pills are way cheaper than injections so that helps too

[gottalovetumbler]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 12

ᵖʳⁱᶜᵉ/ᵍᵃᶻ/ᵏʳᵘᵉᵍᵃʳ/ᵃˡᵉʲᵃⁿᵈʳᵒ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

Info: cussing (as always), short

——— 🛏️ 🍳 ———

The pounding in your head drags you up from the depths of sleep. Black tendrils try to hold on, try to pull you back under. Warm blankets and soft sheets whisper false promises of you staying forever. Bright and sharp pain cuts through the dark.

An amused scoff answers your groan of pain as you roll onto your stomach. Knuckles tap your shoulder before turning and opening, reveling two white pills.

Nails accidentally scratch the outstretched palm and you send an apologetic sound to the owner of it. A cup of water is shoved into your vision as the attempt to dry swallow the pills ends in you sitting up and nearly choking.

’𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕄𝕚𝕛𝕒. 𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕖𝕚𝕞𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕙 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕥 𝟠𝕒𝕞.’

Swallowing roughly, your eyes slightly tear up from the water hitting your dry throat. The dark blue light filtering the room from the curtains is enough to tell you, this isn’t your room. That’s confirmed by the large and soft king sized bed, not your thin twin sized. And the plush carpet instead of cold concrete.

‘Ale? Where am I?’

‘𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕚𝕟 𝕥he ℂ𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕕 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕠. 𝔻𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕤 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕒 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟. 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕚𝕩𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠 𝕤𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒 𝕓𝕚𝕥...... 𝕠𝕕𝕕.’

’Odd? What do you mean by odd? Did I do something bad?’

‘ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕. 𝕀𝕕 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕚 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕟𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕙.’

The idea of dwelling on that new fact was tempting but the pain in your bladder won the battle for your attention. Your legs feel like jello as you try to stand, after some back and forth Ale finally helps you to the bathroom. He’s chuckles at your flushed cheeks and quiet thanks while closing the door.

You emerge a few minutes later after successfully getting the feeling back in your legs. Instead of going left and back to the bedroom you head right, towards the noise of life. Cutlery scratching against porcelain dishes makes your face scratch and ears ring.

‘Mornin Luv, how’d ya sleep?’ Gaz greets from his perch at the bar. A plate of eggs and bacon in-front of him.

‘Slept fine,’ you rub your dry eyes and yawn. ‘what happened and why am I here?’

‘You passed out while serving soup at lunch a few days ago. Graves and Velikan were the first to notice other than your little friend. We were going to bring you back to your dorm but doctors say you need to be monitored and so, you’re here instead.’

‘I don’t need to be monitored. I’m a fully grown adult.’

‘Yes Las you do and don’t try to fight us on it.’ The boom of Prices voice makes you wince as you tune to face him.

‘No I don’t-‘

‘You called Soaps car an animal last night. You also convinced yourself that this,’ he gestures to the air, ‘is actually the main kitchen, just renovated by ninjas. Including the bedroom and the whole base also.’

‘Oh…’

‘Yea, oh…. is right. Till we deem you fit to survive on your own, you’re staying here being monitored. It’ll be like the hospital, you’re either here or there’s at-least 1 trusted adult with you at all times.’

‘A trusted adult? Are you actually being serious? I can’t tell with the accent.’

‘Dead. Today your on full bed rest, no getting up except for the bathroom. Your trusted adult will bring any food or anything you’ll need otherwise.’

‘How long will this go on? I have stuff to do. Also, aren’t you guys busy with some big mission? How are any of you going to have the time to spend watching me?’

‘We are busy but not all at the same time. Majority of it is paper work anyway so even if whoever’s here has stuff to do, they can do it on a laptop easily.’

Arguments try to fester in your mind. You can take care of yourself just fine, no need for some trusted fucking adult. Maybe you could lie that missing too many days might get you sent back to your home base. Or maybe you can go Prices boss. They might be able to make the captain let you work or at the very least, heal alone. Maybe you can-

You must have hard core zoned out seeing as Price and Gaz are gone, leaving the kitchen empty. The sound of the front door creaking open and them talking to someone fills the silence.

‘You good to watch her? Don’t let her out of your sight, at-least not today. She’ll definitely try to run.’

‘ꪗꫀᜣ ꪖꪶꪶ ᧁꪮꪮᦔ ꫝꫀ᥅ꫀ. ﺃꪶꪶ ᛕꫀꫀᜣ ꪖꪀ ꫀꪗꫀ ꪮꪀ ꫝꫀ᥅, ᛕꫀꫀᜣ ꫝꫀ᥅ ꪮꪊꪻ ꪮᠻ ꪻ᥅ꪮꪊ᥇ꪶꫀ.’

Dammit of course the one trusted adult is the fucking shed man. Maybe you will stay in bed all day, then you won’t need to struggle with understanding the walking mesh bags voice.

——— 🛏️ 🍳 ———

[obsessedwithtwilight]

Bear with me because I’ve never written a head cannon before.

Meeting you for the first time even though you’re shy

Edit: I added vampire Bella because someone said I should

Carlisle

- You got into and accident and broke your foot

- He think its cute how you wont make eye contact with him and you mumble

- He instantly feels a connection to you and wonders if you also feel something

- He’s scared that he’s going to scare you

- He wants to make you feel comfortable around him, he wants you to trust him enough and let yourself out

- He admires how you try to be brave even though you’re shy

- You have a stutter? He loves it

- He wants to tell you everything about himself immediately but knows you might run if he does so he stays away from the topic

- He’s mysterious, checking up on you when you don’t know he’s there.

- the night after you left the hospital he stood in your room watching you sleep to make sure you were alright

- He kept watching over you intently until your foot was fully healed, even then he still was there

Esme

- As her eyes land on you she wants to immediately bring you into a tight hug

- She met you while she was helping out at the school

- She asks if you’re lost because you’ve been wandering the halls for the past 15 minutes

- Has the sweetest laugh when you quietly ask her where a class is

- She introduces herself and walks you to the class, speaking to the teacher out in the hall so you don’t get into trouble

- She feels very protective of you, she knew you were special the moment she saw you

- Whenever she’s at the school she’ll stop by one of your classes to say hi

Edward

- He met you on your first day at school, you were both sophomores

- He thought you wouldn’t like him at first because when he first introduced himself you shied away

- He gets to know you at your own pace and by your senior year you’re close friends

- He walks you to all your classes even if you don’t share them

Alice

- She saw you coming and made sure she met you early

- You met at a movie theatre while you were watching your favourite movie

- She sat next to you and after the movie she asked you what you thought about it

- She listened intently as you rambled about your favourite parts, and she laughed when you looked away realizing how loud you were being

- She offered to give you a ride home since you took a bus

- Giving you her number she left, saying she’d love to hang out with you again and that she hopes you become good friends

Jasper

- He immediately noticed you in a room of people, your emotions were so strong he gravitated towards you

- He sat beside you as you waited for a doctors appointment. He was visiting his father.

- He used his gift to calm you down and talked to you

- You wondered why you felt so calm around him

- After your appointment he was still there, waiting for you

- “I hope you don’t mind me waiting for you. You seemed so nervous I just wanted to make sure everything went okay.”

- He gave you his number in case you ever wanted to talk

Rosalie

- You worked at a café across from the salon she went to

- She was a regular, you liked how she always ordered the same thing so you didn’t really need to talk to her

- She compliments you a lot

- She ends up giving you her number, saying how cute you were and how she wants to take you out sometime

- She likes how flustered she makes you

Emmett

- He goes on runs (human runs) past your neighbourhood everyday

- One day it starts raining and he asks if he can stay in your house until it stops

- You reluctantly agree, you end up hitting it off

- You watch your favourite movies and end up having a great time

- It becomes apparent later that he likes you

- You like to call him a big teddy bear

Bella (As a vampire)

- You got into a little trouble with her dad, what did you do? Just a little, teensy weensy crime. Nothing major

- Charlie thought you and Bella would be good friends so he introduced you to her

- She wonders how someone as shy as you could do a crime, even if it was little

- She admires you from afar and when you’re together

- She’ll take you anywhere you want, you remind her of her when she was human and she wants to protect you at all costs

[lemonlover1110]

Please please please write an angst of doctor nanami cheating on reader with a random nurse

Pairing: Kento Nanami x gn!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Cheating

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

*slowly working on requests! They're still closed so don't send anything in

Your husband often works long hours, but as an ER doctor it was expected. The day you started dating Kento, he made it very clear that he works a lot. He’s called in unexpectedly, and while it might seem like he has the day off, he could be called in. You were more than okay with it.

You often feel lonely while Kento works, especially at night. In the beginning you didn’t mind it but you grow lonelier each day. You wonder if you’ve made the right decision by getting married to him. You weren’t made to be so lonely– But whenever you’re thinking of leaving and starting over, he’s off for a day or two, and he reminds you why you’re with him.

He’s so sweet when he’s back around. He gets you flowers, does all the chores that you hate (because he knows that you hate it and he wants to keep you happy), he watches a movie that you like even if he wants to watch something else, and he cooks your favorite food. He’s so affectionate, so loving. He wants you to know that you’re his perfect wife. 

Of course you believe it, why wouldn’t you? Kento has only given you reasons to trust him. You believe his every word, trying to avoid thinking about any thought that makes you doubt your husband. 

He’s called in on your anniversary. He had the day off but things didn’t go your way. However, you had a backup plan because you had an idea this would happen. He’s working now more than ever so of course you had a backup plan.

You wear your pretty little dress, holding a bag with Kento’s favorite food. You also have a box of his favorite chocolate, and a small gift. You wander into the hospital, and the staff already  knows you well so you don’t have an issue getting through.

Majority of the staff knows your plan since you called around. You’re simply just having a romantic dinner– Well as romantic as it can be in a hospital break room. You’re smiling, walking confidently through the hospital hallways. You’re right on Kento’s break, and everyone else assured you that he’d be alone.

When you open the break room’s door, you see that you’ve been lied to. Your heart drops and shatters into a million pieces, the bag that’s in your hand slipping away and falling to the ground. Your eyes widen and they fill with tears. You can’t believe the sight in front of you, your husband’s lips on another woman, and by the looks of it, it wasn’t going to stop with kissing.

You freeze in time, watching your loving husband with someone else. You’re simply shocked. Kento wouldn’t do this to you… Not him. That can’t be your husband. Your hands are shaking, your heart feeling as if it’s about to beat out of your chest. The tears finally begin to spill, and there’s a lump in your throat that holds back a sob. 

No– Kento Nanami wouldn’t. Two other doctors must’ve gotten confused because your husband would never do this to you. You wipe the tears and you swallow the lump in your throat, shaking your head. It’s clearly not your husband. You clear your throat, “Sorry, I must’ve–”

He pulls away, alert. You see his face, and your heart breaks all over again. Even if you try to delude yourself, it won’t work. The woman is also staring at you but you aren’t all too focused on her; you don’t care about her. 

He yells out your name as you turn on your heel and begin to walk away. He’s trying to run after you, but you’re walking as fast as you can. 

“Please! Let me explain!” He yells and you try to block out his voice but it’s hard when he sounds so desperate. He does eventually catch up to you, grabbing your arm. You try to break free from his grasp but it’s too strong. You refuse to look at him, wanting to keep hidden the tears that stream down your face. “Honey, let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Kento.” You try to sound as normal as you can even when your voice threatens to break. He still refuses to let go. “Let go of me, I never want to see you again.”

“Can we just talk please? Privately?” He asks, and you take a moment to think. He’s not going to let you go so easily, even if you want to leave. You’ll make it fast. You finally turn to look at him, and while you try to act tough, it’s impossible when you look at his face. The man that you love to the moon and back betrayed you. He’s someone that you wanted to grow old with, to have children with. You gave him your all, however, that doesn’t seem to be enough for him.

“On our anniversary? Really?” You respond, and it feels as if his voice has been taken from him. You wipe your tears before crossing your arms. You have to look away from him. “I thought you’d never do this to me, Kento. I really thought you were the one.”

He bites down his lip, he really doesn’t know what to say. For a minute you stand in complete and utter silence.

“Are you going to say anything?” You ask, and he’s scrambling for words. He comes up with nothing. You end up nodding before walking away. You hear him again,

“Honey, wait!” 

Just this time, he doesn’t run after you.

[sunflowergraves]

Unpacking Will Solace’s Character

I’ve seen a lot of Will Solace hate since TSATS and it’s really starting to bother me. As a person that relates heavily to Will’s character, it’s upsetting to see him get bashed across the internet, especially considering we’ve never actually gotten to know his character. Personally, I feel like a lot of people are basing his character around headcanons and fanfiction (which I am guilty of) and were disappointed when he wasn’t who we saw him as. 

It doesn’t help that the only time we got to see Will’s POV it was short and through the eyes of others. He’s also not this big hero like all the characters in the PJO universe. His powers aren’t that strong, he’s not a prophecy child, and his talents are mediocre. Will is the most human demigod we’ve ever been introduced to. I can understand why his character doesn’t feel multi-dimensional compared to everyone else, but in my opinion, he was fleshed out very well. 

Yes, there are a few things I was disappointed by. I wish they talked about Will’s past more and his grief over his dead siblings. I wanted him to have his own weapon, even if it was an old bow he never used or a lyre like Apollo used in TOA. But I will always love that they changed him from the calm, collected counselor healer to an anxious, depressed, self-doubting person because it fits him so well. How could he not feel these things after losing friends and family? After being abandoned by everyone around him? Or being forced to take on the caretaker role of the entire camp because he was the only one left? 

I’m going to continue this down below, so if you don’t want major spoilers for TSATS, don’t continue reading. Also this is long as hell in case you just want to skim. 

Every time Will was mentioned in the books, it was from someone else’s POV and it was a few lines at best. 

Will has always been described as the cool, relaxed, go-with-the-flow type of guy. He was the person with a level head and knew exactly what to do. But guess what? Underneath that cool exterior was an anxiety riddled people pleaser who threw himself at every problem because that’s what he was told to do. The Apollo cabin was always the head medic team. After Lee and Michael died, Will was basically thrust into that position of power. He was trusted to take care of his younger siblings, trusted to take care of the entire camp. If he let them down, it was going to cost lives. Of course he’s going to be scared and nervous, but he can’t show that. Would you want a doctor with shaky hands and sweat running down their neck? Would you want to be taken care of by a person who doubted and second guessed themselves out in the open? 

As someone who was given a lot of responsibly and forced to grow up at a young age, I completely understand this. You want to try to make everything better for others around you, you get scared when you fuck up, and you HATE when people can’t rely on you. That’s why you will never show how scared you are to fuck up. You will never let people get inside your head because if they can’t rely on you, what good are you? Breaking out of the role that everyone else gave you because they trusted you is scary and hard. 

Nico is probably the only person who knows what Will really thinks. Will trusts Nico with his anxiety and overthinking because he’s comfortable enough around him to show that side. He knows he doesn’t have to Mr. Hero in front of Nico and that’s such a precious and important bond to make with someone. 

Will was valid for being whiny and irritated for most of the book. 

First, Will has ANXIETY. If you don’t know what it’s like to live with anxiety, count yourself lucky. It feels like your thoughts are attacking you constantly. It’s like an uphill battle between rational thought and absolute chaos. I can’t get in my car without thinking of all the ways I could die before I buckle my seatbelt. Imagine going to SuperHell for the first time in your life! Not only that, but people told Will constantly that as a child of Apollo he was basically fucked. The three strongest demigods that made it back almost went insane! Of course Will is going to be upset, irrational, irritated, and uncomfortable. 

In TOA, he voiced several times how he thought it was a bad idea and that he really didn’t like it. This is not a new thing for Will’s character at all. For him to be willing to cross a line he had made concrete shows that he loves and cares for Nico. But that shouldn’t mean he isn’t allowed to be uncomfortable. 

Second, for anyone saying he could have stayed at camp instead of going has never sacrificed their comfort for someone else. There are so many instances in my life where I went way out of my comfort zone because I knew my friends/family wanted me there. Did I complain? Hell yes. Did I still do it? Hell yes! If Will had said, “Nico, I can’t do this and I refuse to at least try,” I would have lost so much respect for his character. Instead he sucked it up, even when he was already practically dying before they got there. 

Three, Will was worried about Nico. He’s never experienced Tartarus, he’s never been to the Underworld. While Will has definitely faced his share of demons, he’s never stood in Nico’s shoes. So when his boyfriend is having vivid nightmares and hearing voices, he’s going to try and rationalize it for Nico because that’s what he has done his entire life. Will is the “healer.” He is supposed to fix things, not let them traipse off to hell like it’s a vacation spot. 

Four, this is a 15 year old. Fuck, even now at the ripe ole age of 20, I’d still be shaking in my boots terrified at the thought of going somewhere that is practically a jailhouse for the worst creatures in creation. Will has little to no experience on the field (He ran from six guards without even trying to pull out a weapon. The worst thing he’s ever said to his enemies was “anemic loser” and didn’t even want to kill Octavian. Every battle before that he had an older sibling to look up to and care for him). So yeah, I’d just be a tad bit nervous and annoying.  

Will asking Persephone how to love someone from the Underworld was honest and raw. 

This scene broke me in ways I can’t even describe because of how real it felt. If you’ve ever been in a deep and caring relationship (friendship counts) you should understand. Like Persephone said, love is something you choose and it’s complicated and messy even for people who were practically made for each other. For Will to ask how to love someone from the Underworld shows that he is actively choosing to understand and love Nico. 

I get that most people interpret Will’s lines as “How do you love someone so filled with death?” but really he’s asking how do you love someone who acts like he doesn’t want to be loved? How do you love someone that pulls away from your light no matter how desperately you try to give it them? How do you love someone who hides parts of themselves from you? 

Will is a healer, he fixes things. It’s not until this scene that Will realizes the only thing Will needs to fix is his perspective on Nico. That darkness and hurt and trauma is okay. It’s also a scene where Will realizes he doesn’t have to force down his own trauma anymore. 

Will loves Nico and it’s so obvious he scared to lose him. He thinks he’s weak and broken and incapable of helping Nico escape his trauma. His insecurities shadow him and he’s confused about how to navigate this relationship because he thinks he needs to be the leader. How can he lead if Nico won’t let him? How can he help when he doesn’t know how? Persephone’s scene was Will’s chance of finding guidance from someone who could understand exactly what he’s thinking

People in their late 40′s still can’t get relationships down. Why are we pushing unrealistic relationship ideations on a 15 year old who doesn’t even know who he is yet?

Will was not useless. 

Sorry that the relationship duo isn’t Mr. Badass and Mr. Badass 2.0. Will not being a fighter is refreshing to see because honestly I’m quite tired of seeing badass couples in every book/movie. Not everyone is strong and powerful and super awesome. Will is a nerd that likes healing people. Why isn’t that enough? 

“He’s described as having muscles,” “He’s a field/combat medic,” “He fought in the wars,” “He carries people all the time,” “He trains with the Apollo cabin.” Okay and? I was raised to work hard and protect myself. I work out and I know how to use a bow and knife. Does that mean I want to? No. 

I’d also like to point out that almost everyone in camp is described as having muscles. You kind of have to when your life motto is Try not to die or get eaten. Also they train on lava walls, jump eight foot pits, and weapons. I get a little bit of muscle going on my silly little walks, I’d be fucking jacked if I was actively training. 

Second, Will has never once been described fighting monsters/demigods. I don’t doubt that he’s had a few encounters, but the boy practically specializes in RUNNING AWAY. He’s a feral little animal that finds injured demigods and sprints them away to the medic center while occasionally bashing monster heads in. He’s strong because he needs to be, not because he wants to be. Strength also doesn’t equal battle prowess. 

Not to mention, he hates killing! He didn’t want to kill Octavian despite Octavian being the actual worst. He runs away as a distraction even though he had weapons on him. He got upset when Nico threw Sherman Yang out of the chariot in TOA. Monsters are different, but monsters are also scary. Will is terrified of demon pigeons, you really think he’s willingly gonna go one-on-one with anything bigger than his pinky? 

I’ll admit, I hated that he didn’t have a weapon in Tartarus. I thought it was really stupid and out-of-character because my anxious ass would have loaded up. Still, it was kind of funny when they described Will bashing rocks over monster’s heads during their fight with Nyx. 

My final point for this: Will was Nico’s support system and that was the point. Will knew he wasn’t going to throw hands with anyone. He went because he knew Nico needed him even when Nico told him to stay. Will was going to trek through SuperHell with the love of his life and hold his hand to remind him that he was loved. Will wanted Nico to know that he’d literally go to Hell and back for him and that’s what mattered. 

Nico didn’t ask Will to be the Hero. Nico states several times that the reason he loves Will is because he wants to heal and he’s so stubborn to find the good in everything. And that’s exactly what Will did. He offered support, care, and reminders. He was going to understand and love Nico, even through the darkest parts of his life. 

Will is one of the best support systems in a PJO couple duo. 

It makes me incredibly sad to see people call Will toxic when he gave his entire life to support Nico. I won’t deny that he complained a lot and said hurtful things and that he occasionally belittles Nico’s feelings. But Will didn’t know he was doing those things. He thought he was helping Nico navigate his PTSD. How is someone who is still emotionally developing his own character supposed to know how to take care of someone else’s? 

Will also clearly showed love and affection towards Nico. He met all his friends and was polite to them even when they looked scary. Will risked his life several times before they got to Tartarus and still insisted on continuing. Built a Minecraft house for his boyfriend and left him a KitKat bar because he knew he would feel fatigued (also Will brought KitKat bars, meaning he was already thinking of Nico’s health beforehand). He tried to be useful by scouting ahead because he felt like he was being a burden on Nico. He kissed him, called him silly nicknames, hugged him, respected his boundaries (asking to hold him instead of trying to comfort him immediately), and oh yeah, went to Tartarus when he was obviously quaking in his flipflops. 

He also helped Bob when he had no idea who/what he was, comforted Nico when he was beginning to lose hope, acknowledged his mistakes and admitted he needed to try harder, realized he didn’t need to fix Nico and that his boyfriend was perfect the way he was, and learned that Nico wasn’t going to leave him. 

Love is complicated. Love is something you choose. And Will chooses to love Nico. Also for everyone saying a year is long enough to learn/realize these problems already and have them solved, you need to take the rose tinted glasses off. I’ve been with my partner for almost four years, and I’m still learning things about our relationship. We argue, we don’t always meet eye-to-eye. Our own trauma and experiences surface and it gets difficult. But do we just call it quits and throw everything into the trash? No. We talk, we problem-solve, we come back and try to understand each other even if we don’t know how to do that. A year is nothing. A year is puppy love and excitement. It’s like your favorite movie on repeat. All the problems are ignored because you don’t want to see them yet. 

So for a pair of 15 year old's who just came to terms with their sexuality, I think that they are doing pretty damn good at this love thing. 

Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. Even though we’ve had Will for years, we’ve never gotten to know his true character until now. It’s raw and weird and doesn’t fit the mold of Will Solace, son of Apollo we all created him to be. You can still hate his character or whatever, I’m not going to try to change your mind. But don’t hate on everyone else who loves him and loves this book. 

[goddessofroyalty]

hello! the fanart of Viktor with a baby you reblogged this week got me right in the soft feels u.u would you consider revisiting the Work/Life Balance 'verse? (random ideas: pregnant Viktor dealing with a minor illness (very minor, not a complication, no real threat to his health and no threat whatsoever to the baby, but Jayce is still fussing over them)? how a newborn affects Viktor's already hectic work/sleep schedule? either Viktor can't or chooses not to nurse and good papa Jayce does his part with formula and bottles?)

Kind of combined the second two parts of this into what I’ve written but more leaning on good papa Jayce helping feed their baby. Maybe I’ll figure out a quick 4th scene (to even out the POV’s) that focuses a bit more on Viktor’s messy sleeping schedule. Have also made a note of the first prompt as well to do separately.

I’ve given up and am naming this kid Naph as well. Why? Because it’s a nice easy name for me to kidnap and gods knows Arcane played fast and loose with League lore anyway. Also I like it and it has become the default in my brain if nothing else fills the space. It can be easily subbed out if I decide on something different later.

Warnings: past-mpreg, omegaverse (I refer to the baby as pup that’s literally it), some mention of after-birth pains (nothing major just a bit tender)

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Viktor wakes to the sound of a baby crying.

“I’ve got him, don’t get up,” Jayce says as the sleep fades from Viktor’s brain and he remembers that it is their baby that is crying not just some random abstract one. Their baby that Viktor had given birth to days prior and had finally been allowed back home that day. The doctors happy with both their progress.

The bed shifts as Jayce gets up to go to their child. Viktor pushes himself up on his arms to sit up more as he does. Wincing as his weight settles on where he’s still tender from the birth.

“I told you not to get up,” Jayce says holding their son in his arms as he looks back at Viktor. It is a good image and one Viktor could get used to seeing. Will get used to seeing, as surreal as that feels.

“And I have not gotten out of bed.” Nor will he be. Not when he has a perfectly good and willing Jayce to get things for him while he still heals from the birth. To make up for you having done all the work to this point Jayce had said and Viktor had nothing to gain from fighting him on it. “What’s the time?”

“2AM. And you can go back to sleep,” Jayce says. “He just needs a bottle.”

“I’m awake now.” Viktor had never been able to go back to sleep once he woke. There always something he’d rather be spending the time doing than tossing and turning. “I can hold him while you heat up the bottle.”

“The doctors said you need rest,” Jayce says despite it being clear he needs both hands to keep their son settled which would leave none free to prepare a bottle as well.

“I am resting!” Despite how much he misses it he still hasn’t returned to the lab since he was put on bedrest in the final trimester. Working on formulas and schematics from bed can hardly be considered work. It’s just keeping his mind occupied. “Let me hold him.”

Jayce clearly wants to argue but he relents when Viktor raises an eyebrow. Carefully handing their son over and only taking his hands away once the baby is very secure and settled.

Viktor would almost be offended at the lack of trust but he all-too-well understands the impulse. It turns out newborns are tiny and so delicate. It is almost terrifying to think about all the different ways they could accidently hurt him. It is scary to even have him in Viktor’s arms but also nerve-wracking when he is not within easy reach.

“I’ll be right back,” Jayce promises, only taking his eyes off them when he physically leaves the room.

Viktor once again examines his son while he waits. He had hoped their child would have taken a little more after both of them rather than looking mostly like Viktor but it is still impressive to think mere days ago Naph was still growing inside him and now the boy is alive and experiencing the world, frowning up at Viktor as his tongue peaks out between tiny lips, followed by a small cry of impatience.

“Not much longer,” Viktor promises. If his milk had come in the wait wouldn’t have to be this long. But it is useful to know that Jayce can look after their son entirely on his own if needed.

Naph is still far too young to actually understand what Viktor is saying. Another louder cry being made as Jayce hurries back into the room.

“No, no, don’t cry, I got it,” Jayce rambles, sliding into bed beside Viktor, warm bottle in hand. He pauses when Viktor holds their child back out to him. “Uh-“

“You said you were feeding him, no?” Viktor has no problems with doing it as well but Jayce likes to feel useful. And Viktor likes to watch him with their son.

“Right, of course,” Jayce recovers quickly. Carefully taking their son back into his arms, offering him the bottle. It only takes two passes of the teat for the tiny mouth to open to let it pass.

“He is hungry,” Jayce says as their son makes quick work of the bottle.

“I suppose it was a big day for him.” For Viktor and Jayce they came home but all their son knew until the day before was the hospital.

“It was,” Jayce agrees, shifting slightly to allow Viktor to lean in closer and push the fabric from their son’s onesie down from where it had crept up to his mouth. “But we can all rest for now.”

Viktor gives a hum of agreement despite how he already itches to get back to the lab.

-------------------

Jayce wakes to find himself alone in the bed.

It isn’t that unusual. Neither he nor Viktor can be said to have a normal sleeping schedule even before their pup was born. But Jayce still never likes it when he reaches out for his partner only to find cold bedsheets.

He pulls himself out of bed and shuffles to the main living area. There’s no point trying to get back to sleep anyway and he might as well check on Naph to make sure he hasn’t woken in the night.

Viktor had apparently had the same thought whenever he had gotten up. He stands in front of the blackboard they had set up so they can make any changes to their equations even when not in the lab, a piece of chalk balanced in the fingers of the hand resting on his cane as the other holds their son steady where he is swaddled against Viktor’s chest. A slight bounce with every move clearly to keep the pup settled.

“I put coffee on,” Viktor says, not even turning around to acknowledge Jayce. Not that Jayce wants him to – he’s perfectly happy just watching his partner and their child together.

“Thanks.” There’s an almost empty baby bottle next to the coffeepot. It’s cold to the touch so Jayce rinses it out in the sink and puts it to the side to be sanitized with the others. He makes Viktor a cup of coffee as well as his own. “Couldn’t get him to go back to sleep?”

“He doesn’t want to be put down,” Viktor says, looking away from their life’s work to their son. “Clingy. Like his father.”

Jayce can hardly blame his son for that – he wants to cling to Viktor too at times.

“I can take him if you need to write,” Jayce says as he brings Viktor’s coffee over to him. Tapping his partner on the arm with it before placing it down on the table they keep next to the blackboard almost exclusively for coffee. He picks up the old empty one and takes it back to the sink.

“It is fine,” Viktor says with a small shake of his head, his eyes flitting back to the blackboard. “I have nothing new to add to it anyway.”

Jayce would suggest Viktor go back to bed then but he knows his partner would have as much a chance of going back to sleep as he would.

Instead he joins Viktor at the blackboard. Close enough that Viktor can shuffle over and lean against him while they both try and figures out how the equations fit together and wait for the morning sun.

------------------

“Jayce!” Viktor calls because he is in the middle of wiring up the controls for the latest iteration of Hexgates and their son is crying. Jayce is just doing some paperwork, necessary, yes, but nowhere near as dangerous to be walked away from in the middle of.

“Huh?” Jayce asks as he sticks his head into the room before realizing why he was called. “Right. On it.”

“Up we go,” Jayce says as he picks their son up from the cot they keep in the lab for him to sleep in while they work. Out of the corner of his eye Viktor watches his partner hold their son high to sniff at his backside. “Nope. Must be hungry.”

Viktor returns his attention back fully to his work as Jayce carries their son into the kitchenette of the lab to heat up a bottle for him. He’s still at it when he two return, their son still in Jayce’s arms as he comes to watch over Viktor’s shoulder.

“How are you going?”

“Nearly finished.” The wiring had nearly taken him all day but it should be worth it.

“And then we can test it?” Jayce asks despite the fact he should already know the answer.

“Yes. They should lead to a less, uh, jolty experience when the jump is made.”

Jayce doesn’t respond, but Viktor can hear him pace around the lab no doubt bouncing their child in his arms as he does to keep the boy settled and not distracting Viktor’s work.

Viktor doesn’t alert his partner to the fact once he finishes. Instead watching the two of them for the minute it takes Jayce to notice himself. He had been told by many how lucky he was to have Jayce as the father of his child and, really, he cannot argue it.

[sunderingstars]

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ PERCEPTION BY OTHERS ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, general with a bit of elation thrown in for funsies

— word count: 3k

— overview: (as of 2.5) a brief look at other characters’ voicelines about mr. sampo koski!

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✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ NATASHA ⌝

I may have brought this up in another analysis at some point, but Natasha makes a point to emphasize how Sampo doesn’t like owing people things. “Favors” seem to exist in a grey area to him, a purgatory where he can’t quite tell what they’ll turn into in the future. As a businessman, it makes sense he would want to nip this in the bud, completing each task quickly and efficiently. However, the way Natasha describes it seems like it might be more than standard concern — the mention of “any way possible” almost seems like a fear response, a well-hidden panic that Sampo covers up by doing things so quickly you can’t even tell. 

The last line, “The longer you leave a favor, the harder it is to calculate its value,” is very… ominous. Open-ended, like the favors themselves. There’s an implication that Sampo has a reason to be wary of favors, perhaps stemming from something that happened in his own life. Out of every character, Natasha seems to see the core of Sampo the best; why he does things, what he avoids, what he’s possibly afraid of. It isn’t centered around “don’t trust him” or “he’s a con-man,” but around a more grounded view of his likes and dislikes. I feel Natasha’s approach is the most holistic — taking into account a past even she may not know in order to understand why and how Sampo does what he does.

Additionally, her team line, “I’ve got my eye on you,” is much more dual-sided than other characters. Rather than the naïveté of Hook or the smug nature of Sparkle’s teasing, Natasha is stern yet kind, a hallmark of her character. In a single sentence, she shows that she’s ready to make sure Sampo doesn’t cause any trouble while also making it clear she won’t let harm come to him. “I’ve got my eye on you” isn’t just Don’t try anything funny or Watch it, I know what you’re up to, but I’m here to help and We’re in this together and I’ve got you.

There’s certainly something to be said for the careful gaze of a trusted figure — the support of someone who isn’t willing to fully enable or fully disable, but rather use their own judgment to help find what’s best for everyone involved. It may not be a luxury Sampo has had before. The isolated “highness” of Aeonhood is lonely; if you look out for everyone, who looks out for you? The strange purgatory of Emanator status is disorienting; who will ever trust you enough to tell you the truth, who will ever bring you back down to Earth? And the objectification of a doll is surely no place for care or compassion, for who would extend a watchful eye to a mere toy other than to make sure it performs its function? 

Simply put, Natasha’s balance of stern realism and genuine compassion is something I think Sampo needs, despite whatever intricacies his backstory may hold.  Based on her voicelines, I think she may see this too (even though she likely doesn’t know much about his personal life). There must be something within him that sparks at the doctor in her — the trained empathy and care she extends to everyone, the way she’s learned to pick up on things when they’re off. And whatever she sees, it’s something she can’t just do nothing about.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SEELE ⌝

Seele, true to her character, is wary of Sampo despite understanding his uses. As a resistance fighter, she’s likely had her fair share of tough situations, having to choose options that may have major drawbacks or caveats for the sake of the cause. However, the years of experience she’s gained from this have allowed her to be incredibly discerning, understanding Sampo’s dual nature as something that can be both helpful and harmful.

She seems to have arrived at a happy medium: deal with him when there is something important only he can do, but nothing beyond that. No friendship beyond work, no extended contact beyond what’s necessary. She doesn’t say why exactly it’s bad to befriend him, but her confidence makes one thing clear — just don’t. 

This matches up with the idea Sampo has of Seele as someone who is tough on him, likely because she denies every attempt at friendship and keeps him at arms’ length. She’s a very serious individual, so there’s no doubt she wouldn’t hesitate to deal with him (and not in the way he wants) if need be.

However, there does seem to be a sort of casualness that comes from these remarks. Despite not trusting him, there’s still a sense of familiarity, of yeah, he’s a con-man who you shouldn’t be friends with, but he’s still one of us. It’s a begrudging allyship, one that doesn’t negate the drawbacks of having him around, but also doesn’t downplay the bond he has with Underworlders. It almost seems like a sibling-like relationship to me, the kind where Seele will be standoffish and smack some sense into him if needed, but if anyone else threatens him it’s game over for whoever did it. “I can bully him but you can’t” vibes.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ HOOK ⌝

Hook is probably the only character who actually trusts Sampo, even if it is only because she’s incredibly adventurous. Despite being more discerning than the average kid her age due to growing up around Wildfire and the Moles, she lacks the experience to truly understand when Sampo is being suspicious or trying to get something he wants — to her, if he can give her an exciting adventure, there’s no reason to be weary. We can see this clearly when she asks, “Does he like expeditions too?” in response to remarking how she sees him everywhere. Anyone else in the Underworld would be rightly suspicious, questioning why and how he shows up everywhere that’s convenient for him; however, Hook simply chalks this up to shared enthusiasm. She loves expeditions, so why wouldn’t he? Therefore, his convenient timing must be because he likes adventures and not because he has ulterior motives for his actions.

Additionally, she shows unrestrained trust when being added to a team with him. (Side note: She directly calls him “Mr. Blue Hair,” which carries through the emphasis of his character on the color blue and specifically blue hair, linking him to the “blue-haired being” in Curio Hacker!) She asks “Where are we going this time?” without hesitation, without distrust, fully expecting him to lead her on a new and exciting adventure. This is extremely different from what we’ve come to expect — for the first time, we have someone who actually trusts Sampo.

While it may be easy to view this entirely as a poor decision on Hook’s part (and it is certainly influenced by her young age), I think there may be a deeper meaning. Children, despite often being overly trusting, also have a penchant for bluntly seeing to the truth of things; they are often more perceptive than adults give them credit for. In this case, I believe it to be a mix. Hook is clearly being too trusting of Sampo, but there also may be something she sees that we don’t. 

When we take away the exterior, all of the facades and personas and scams, I truly believe that Sampo would never hurt Hook — in fact, I believe he’d protect her to the best of his ability. He indulges in her whims, he helps her solve problems, and he generally tries to keep her away from the “dangerous” side of things. Much like Belobog in general and the Trailblazer on Penacony, Sampo has a penchant for protection. I believe that, despite her naïveté, Hook can sense this too. She may not know enough to know she should be at least somewhat wary of him, but she does know that he’ll keep her safe. And so, there’s no hesitation. In her mind, he’s a trusted adult — and from what we’ve seen so far, he lives up to that title (even if it’s solely in the context of Hook, and even if it’s in a somewhat roundabout way).

For Sampo, I think this kind of trust is sorely needed. Any tier of Elation!Sampo would likely be accustomed to wary glances, tight smiles, scrutinizing eyes always trying to figure out what he’s up to. It’s partially his fault, of course, for being so double-sided, but it’s still bound to wear on him. Especially if the Elation is of a more compulsory nature, the kind of pure, unhesitating trust that comes from Hook is likely a breath of fresh air. For once, he’s met with someone he can just be around. 

He’s also faced with the terrifying realization that he cares. That he’s facing the near-impossible thought of being a good person. That he wouldn’t dream of doing anything to betray Hook, and that sentiment runs contrary to his very nature. 

Overall, very wholesome, 10/10, no notes.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ LUKA ⌝

Luka, like Seele and Natasha, is also very discerning. To him, he thinks Sampo’s moniker is inherently untrustworthy, and has likely had to deal with his own fair share of aspiring “middlemen” who want to make money. As a result, he’s made up his mind — and it’s not to let Sampo work with him. (Once again, “blue” is used as a defining color for Sampo’s identity, making the “blue-haired being” even more apparent in hindsight.) I do wish we got a little more from Luka’s line, as I’d like to know more of his personal feelings towards Sampo — i.e. if he finds him confusing or intriguing or just plain annoying — but what we do have still serves as a way to highlight Sampo’s reputation among even those who aren’t as familiar with him. Despite only knowing Sampo by his tagline and attempt to become a middleman, Luka surprisingly hits the nail on the head. Not only is he able to stand firm on business, he’s able to clock Sampo’s deception from a mile away. Unfortunately for Mr. Sampo Koski, it seems he’ll have to find another target to make money off of.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ GEPARD ⌝

Gepard mostly knows Sampo through his work as a Guard. Beyond chasing Sampo (as Sampo mentions in his voicelines), he gets his information from cases and citizens, therefore it’s understandable that his main focus is on what Sampo does rather than who he is. While everyone in the Underworld is focused on his personality and untrustworthy nature (with the exception of Hook and somewhat Natasha), the Overworld is more detached, neutral. To Gepard, Sampo is a criminal who sells relics and commits fraud. 

Obviously there would be a bit of frustration that comes from constantly being evaded by the criminal you’re supposed to be catching, as well as the conveniently-timed pause before Gepard says “cunning” (what else were you thinking of saying, Geppie? 👀), but overall, Gepard doesn’t know Sampo that well. He really can’t since I’m sure there’s not much time to talk beyond “Stop!” and “Hehe :3” when running into (and away from) each other. However, he still has a dedicated voiceline about Sampo, which shows there’s at least enough of a relationship to warrant speaking about him.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SERVAL ⌝

With the knowledge that Sampo used to be friends with Serval before Gepard soured things (likely with objective facts), this line is kinda funny to me. Serval, as always, is calm, cool, and collected, but now I see it as less of a “this random guy is totally gonna get screwed over lol” moment and more of a “godspeed my dude, but I don’t think you’re gonna make it” moment. This line reads a bit reminiscent, like “that guy” is her recalling the past times they’ve run into one another. Even though we don’t know the specifics of the “friendship” Sampo mentioned, I wouldn’t put it past Serval to be friendly or hang out with him if she wanted. However, she still comes back to believe in her brother — even if her and Sampo are chill, she feels like Gepard catching him is only inevitable.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ LYNX ⌝

Like Gepard, Lynx isn’t very acquainted with Sampo, only knowing him as the criminal Gepard is trying to find. However, it’s hilarious to think about Sampo moonlighting as a cryptid in the Snow Plains, perhaps even unwillingly being thought of as the “Belobog Caveman” when he’s just trying to do his (albeit sneaky and suspicious) job. Alternatively, I wouldn’t put it past Elation!Sampo to get bored every so often and start rumors about himself, if only to see the sheer chaos that unfolds surrounding the myth of the Belobog Caveman. He probably gets a kick out of those conspiracy theory message boards that are bound to pop up every time something like this happens. What’s even funnier is that this may be the “true” Elation — not the hedonism the Masked Fools encourage, but rather the small, somewhat innocuous and even confusing circumstances that take place in the remote corners of the universe. The Elation needs variety, baby, and Belobog is just that.

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SPARKLE ⌝

I’ve saved the best for last — Sparkle. In terms of Sampo theories, she’s really carrying the bulk of implication and interpretation. Her first sentence holds up with other characters’ understandings of him (albeit approaching it from a different viewpoint), seeing him as both chaotic/double-sided (entertaining) and reliable. 

However, the main thing I want to talk about is her next line: “The only thing with this guy is… he’s got a line he won’t cross… having limitations always kills the vibe!” This lines up with his conversation with Sparkle in Penacony, how his idea of Elation differs so greatly from hers that it’s something he “can’t stand by.” Sampo, after all, believes in the dignity of humankind, not the unrestrained chaos Sparkle’s worldview has to offer. Normally, I’d leave it there; it seems pretty clear that Sampo would have reservations about the antics of certain Masked Fools, reservations that could even fit with Elation!Sampo theories if we take into account differing consciousness and the stereotyping mortals often put on higher beings. However, I feel there is more to be gleaned.

There are two words I want to point out — “won’t” and “limitations.” Since we don’t have much more information, there’s no sure way to know if Sparkle is presenting an objective understanding of Sampo’s character or if she is simply seeing the outward appearance of something deeper and interpreting it according to her worldview.

First is “won’t.” While there is a good chance Sampo’s own will and wants cause him to set hard boundaries around Masked Fools and “jokes” — likely having to do with the “heavy jokes” he feels “no longer become funny” when taken too far, perhaps even something tragic that occurred in his past — there is also the possibility that what Sparkle perceives as a “won’t” is actually a “can’t.” There could even be a combination of the two.

In terms of “won’t” versus “can’t,” Sparkle as an unrestrained follower of Elation may not be able to truly perceive the “restrictions” higher beings face, instead interpreting them as willing boundaries instead of strict limitations by nature of existence. She doesn’t call Sampo’s lack of action a “boundary” or a “refusal,” but rather a limitation. Limitations are much more restrained than boundaries, and while they can be self-imposed, they can also be imposed by other beings, laws, or states of existence. 

Here is what I posit: the “limitations” Sampo “won’t” cross may, in fact, be the “Primum Mobile.” It may seem like a bit of a stretch, and I do admit that it seems more likely that Sampo’s lines have more to do with his genuine feelings than a compulsory rule, but I can’t ignore the fact that “limitations” are the entire point of the “Primum Mobile.” Aeons, and potentially other higher beings by osmosis, cannot stray from Their Path — to do so would run contrary to Their entire existence. As such, They have certain “restrictions” They are bound to by virtue of existing, ones that may easily look like willing boundaries to others who don’t know of Their origins. It is entirely possible that Sparkle’s idea of Elation in some way reaches too far beyond the scope of Aha’s Path, leading Sampo (either Aeon or otherwise) to literally not be able to follow her in what she does. The Masked Fools are among the most fanatical of the Elation’s followers, so perhaps they’ve simply flown too close to the sun, begun to reach and dip into areas not a part of the Elation while trying to convince themselves they still serve the Laughter (much like the Order and Harmony on Penacony could be easily misinterpreted for each other from the outside looking in). 

It is also possible that whatever mortal form Sampo has taken has its own set of restrictions beyond the Primum Mobile — even if Aha or an Emanator would be able to endorse Sparkle’s view of Elation, whatever “price” Sampo is paying for this form does not allow him to do such things.

Or perhaps it comes from another place entirely — Doll!Sampo would likely be horrified at what Sparkle does, knowing what it’s like to be toyed with and used by the Elation. He would want to stay away from her “jokes that go too far” as often as possible, determined to never make others suffer the same fate as him. There’s even the chance that Sampo, as a splinter or refracted consciousness of Aha, has his own feelings and boundaries different from the main Aeon.

Whatever the case, he does not want to put up with Sparkle, and Sparkle clearly sees this as a let-down.

Lastly is her team line, a not-so-subtle dig at Sampo’s status as a Masked Fool. However, she puts “Fool” in quotation marks. While she may just be adding an additional reference to the title of a Masked Fool, it also feels like a personal observation. That, maybe beyond his status as a Masked Fool, she knows something that places Sampo as a “Fool” in her mind, perhaps a decision or discovery that she feels to be foolish. It’s possible that a Sampo of Aeonic or Emanator status put Themself in a position where Their power was significantly reduced or passed along, finding Themselves “duped” of Their own free will. But that’s just speculation.

Overall, most characters seem to have a similar view of Sampo: dual-sided. Like a snake, he can help and he can hurt, be candid one moment and deceptive the next. Only Hook seems to fully trust him, only Natasha seems to be committed to looking out for him, and only Sparkle has the ability to be a master troll and constantly hold his status over his head. Suffice to say, his own relationships experience a double nature. (Although I do hope he gets some more nice ones soon!)

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for reading to the end!

(& thank you to my irl bestie for helping me procure the original video for this even though i don’t have tiktok anymore!)

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© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[bthehufflepuff208]

Last night I realized another awful scenario if the rumors of RDJ’s Doctor Doom is a variant of Tony Stark becoming Doom…….

We all know Wanda is coming back to life; she is the darling of MCU female characters, the ultimate “girl boss” to the majority of fans.

What if the plan is when Wanda comes back, she comes back to destroy Doctor Tony Stark-Doom?

It won’t even be about defeating the villain of Doctor Doom; it’ll truly be about Wanda finally being able to prove Tony Stark was always the evil villain she said he was and finally being able to get her revenge for her family.

And only then, after he’s killed, the real Doctor Doom of the MCU will come in.

Like, the sole purpose of bringing RDJ back was just to not only push the narrative of “Tony Stark was always the villain of every universe”, but also “Wanda, no matter how much murder and mind control/manipulation she’s done, was always the true hero of the MCU and always knew the true evil of Tony Stark.”

……….

WHY can’t you just bring in the real Victor Von Doom immediately (whether it be a Romani actor or Cillian Murphy)

WHY must we continue to push the “evil villain Tony Stark” and “girl boss, most powerful/wonderful hero Wanda Maximoff”? Most fans believe that narrative anyway!

I would LOVE to see RDJ back in the MCU…….but how about not with the overused plot of “any Tony Stark is a villain and causes all the problems of the MCU”

You know what would be a good idea? Maybe bring RDJ back as Tony Stark/Iron Man from a world where every one trusted him from the beginning of becoming Iron Man.

A world where maybe, just maybe, Thanos failed the first time around because the Avengers didn’t immediately dismiss Tony when he warned them of what was coming!!!!

But noooooo, fans don’t want to see that! They want to see more of the same narrative they’ve been pushing since the beginning even though there are so many moments that prove that narrative to be false that writers/directors/fans choose to ignore!

[kamisatomay018]

Thorns Under The Moon (My theories and interpretations) - Major Spoilers Ahead!!

Okay holy shit you guys I needed hours to gather my thoughts and theories for this one because my god was this main story quest a rollercoaster of emotions!😭

Where do I even start OMFG, there’s so much to unpack here so please bear with me if my thoughts are a little scattered! Also this will be a long rant so please feel free to ask questions or share your opinions too!!

Firstly can we please just appreciate how husband coded Zayne really is? Like him and MC have the most canonly romantic relationship in the main story quest till now! With the other boys, MC isn’t as romantically involved as she is with Zayne imo and I absolutely adore that!

ALSO JEALOUS ZADDY? Yes please I had so much fun🤤🤤 (more on that in another post!)

All in all I loved just how much trust Zayne and mc put in each other and their abilities. Like Zayne knew that MC would be able to control the metaflux with her evol, and MC knew that Zayne would absolutely finish the surgery in 5 minutes. I really admire how they’re so trusting of one another🥹🥹

Now let’s get to the serious part shall we?

I swear I felt my heart stop for a moment when I saw Zayne in dawnbreaker’s clothes. For literally a solid 10 minutes while the story progressed I thought that the wanderer had teleported MC in dawnbreaker’s world and doctor Zayne got left behind. The way he gave her a chocolate and his fridge was full of those energy drinks, the jasmine on the table and the eerie vibe of the scene gave me chills.

However. I can very confidently say that it was NOT dawnbreaker, and I know there’s a lot of confusion about the same so let me break it down for you guys here:

1. We all know that MC has the ability of distinguishing her Zayne from Dawnbreaker, because it has happened in a 4 star memory before (I’m so sorry I can’t remember which one) where for a brief moment Dawnbreaker entered Zayne’s consciousness and MC immediately recognised it was not him just by looking into his eyes, even though the physical form was literally the Same. Here, we see the way MC was puzzled by his clothing and made sure to thoroughly examine Zayne by touching his face and looking into his eyes. Once she realised that it really was her Zayne, we saw how she visibly relaxed.

2. Had it truly been dawnbreaker, he would’ve been CONFUSION! Because how is it that the girl of his dreams is in his world? But Zayne had his familiar humour, making jokes about carrots and even knowing all about the wanderer situation that him and MC were facing. Had it truly been Dawnbreaker, it would’ve been impossible for him to understand anything at all.

3. And of course there is the most important fact that we know now that the wanderer had transported the two of them into Zayne’s dreams to trap them there, as it had the ability of traversing through space and time. And since Dawnbreaker and Zayne dream of each other all the time, we got transported to the ‘nightmare’ that always plagues Zayne. There was no reality as such in this case, they were in a Dream, and the even though the two had gone missing for 3 days in real life, they were never in Dawnbreaker’s world. It was simply an illusion of Zayne’s nightmares.

Now that we have established all of this, I just want to take a moment to emphasise on just how broken dawnbreaker’s world really is. The darkness, the loneliness the must face on a daily basis hurt my soul. Like if Zayne is so fucking troubled just by DREAMING about what Dawnbreaker has been through, I do not even want to imagine how Dawnbreaker Zayne is able to live in his broken world every single day after dreaming about how Doctor Zayne in another life is happier than him. Like please don’t hurt my poor baby Dawnbreaker like this😭😭

Then of course comes the climax of the story, when Zayne and MC split up to destroy the protocore cluster. When I tell you I SOBBED seeing Zayne in so much pain you guys😭 I just wanna hug him and put him in my pocket🥺 However all this aside, there’s so much we need to focus on from that one scene alone!

Firstly we get to see glimpses of Doctor Zayne’s trauma with how he struggles to save every patient that comes to him, with voices of people begging him to save him and accusing him. We also see how William had begged him to kill him because it was too late when they were in the arctic, which deeply traumatised Zayne.

However, the more interesting part is that of Dawnbreaker’s trauma. We see how he had to kill the little child and his mother, and how they were so surprised and kind of betrayed by the fact that he had to kill them, but at the same time they also begged to be killed when they realised that their time was up. BUT! Who is this girl that was featured again and again? Who was afraid of being killed next but all the same begged Dawnbreaker to kill her?

I believe it is MC, his MC. Because we see how Doctor Zayne is visibly pained when she gets injured or well killed. This is where shit gets real dark: I think we now finally know what happened to dawnbreaker’s MC. I believe that she either got turned into a wanderer, or her protocore syndrome went out of control and so she begged Dawnbreaker to kill her off.

Of course there is no confirmation of her being MC but it is the closest possible theory because we know that the girl held a great deal of importance for him. And my god this SUCKS because just how much pain will you give to that poor guy😭

Nowwww here comes another very interesting part: we potentially heard Astra’s voice. And I HATE HIM UGH- IF it really is him, He said two lines: “you shouldn’t throw yourself in danger just for her.” “Seek your destiny, only then can you be redeemed.”

Of course again there is no confirmation that it was Astra but with what the male voice said, him being Astra makes the most sense. What absolutely pains me about this is that Zayne potentially knows that he can break himself free from this cycle of death and trauma that he puts himself in by loving MC, that he STILL has a chance to be redeemed by seeking his “destiny” despite disobeying his god. But he doesn’t want to do it at all because it would involve living in a world where he cannot be with her and that to him is unacceptable. He is ready to die and be in all this pain just so that he can get to love MC😭😭 Tell me a love purer than zayne’s🥺

This also leads me to speculate that Doctor Zayne is already also aware about Foreseer Zayne. We know that Foreseer knew of a “Zayne”. But now I think that Zayne has either regained his memories of that lifetime or through research has found something about the Foreseer. That would explain his frequent trips to the arctic which he doesn’t even explain to MC in full detail, as well as him hearing Astra’s voice.

And while we are at foreseer’s topic

Once MC started healing Zayne’s injuries, she saw a fragment of her past life with Foreseer who also begged her to leave him. That gave me absolute chills you guys because we have been able to see her get flashbacks twice now- one with Sylus and now one with Zayne. Could this mean that she will soon start spiralling because of all these unknown memories of her past? And how exactly would she be able to accept just how much she’s hurt the boys (unintentionally ofc)?

But my goodness Zayne really needs to stop putting his life on the line to save us, I mean come on he somehow froze MC’s wound or something like that and absorbed it in his heart???😭😭 MY BABY IS SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU HOW WILL I SURVIVE😭

Towards the ending we get to learn a very important piece of information- that Ever is creating monsters and are basically saving people or extending their lifetime who are nearly dying. And who do we know had basically gone Kaboom?? CALEB. I am so fucking sure that Caleb is going to be a part of Ever in some way or the other and it will NOT be pleasant.

What also bothers me is that Xavier and Rafayel are also somehow linked to Ever- Rafayel through the deal he made before he sent MC into the N109 zone, and Xavier through the red collar type situation that he is forced to have on which restricts his freedom. Just how powerful is this group??

The last thing that was on my mind was the ending of the main story. Zayne’s dream. He apparently finally catches up with “the girl” and just as they are happy together, they end back into the doomed hospital corridor where she seems to be dying/heavily injured. So what bothers me is that is this dawnbreaker’s past or is it a hint of what MC and Zayne’s doomed fate holds for them? Right now they’re so happy together, but with how their love is cursed, is the ending supposed to be some twisted way of telling us that no matter what, Zayne cannot truly be with us and will have to watch us die?

I swear if this is what it is I will sob and cry and quit the game because I WANT A HAPPY ENDING WITH ZAYNE😭😭

Anyways this is the end of my long rant with some theories I had!! I would love for you guys to tell me what y’all think in the comments and let me know if I missed something!🩷

[spac3-em0]

im rewatching Malignant and i fully believe Gabriel does care abt Madison, even if the movie tries to make it seem like he doesn’t

cause like, think about the majority of the times we see him wake up and use their body. it’s to keep both himself AND her safe. at the beginning of the film when Derek slams Madison’s head into the wall, Gabriel kills him that same night. he didn’t have to, it’s not like Derek knew about him and he could have very easily just run off and hid up in the attic like he does later on. but he doesn’t do that, he psychs Derek out and brutally kills him in the same manner as the rest of the doctors.

it’s also implied through the Bobby Fey mention that they got into a fight, one Gabriel was keen on winning because it was probably started by Bobby. because i doubt that the kids at the hospital would like Madison any more than the kids at school did, especially with Gabriel on the back of her head.

in the prison scene, Gabriel doesn’t take over their body while i assume Madison was alone with the guard who brought her into the holding cell, it’s only AFTER the other women start beating the shit out of Madison. these women were already scared of him, he didn’t need to attack them further. he probably could have just busted out right there and then. it would basically just fast track the detective’s office fight scene. but again, he didn’t. he attack the threat, and everyone else who COULD have been a threat to mainly Madison, because again, they didn’t know about Gabriel.

he CLEARLY still thinks of her as his sister, so a part of him must think it’s his job to keep them safe, he’s the one with electrokinesis, super strength, and the means to fashion a weapon out of anything he finds. he’s just blindsighted by jealousy, by anger. Madison got to live the life he deserved, she got to be a normal person while he was considered a devil who needed to be exorcised. his own sister even shunning him and refusing to consider him family, all because she didn’t understand why he was so violent.

and I don’t think Gabriel knows why he’s so violent either. he just knows that using violence is a sure fire way to get someone to leave you and your sister alone.

anyway I really like Gabriel and trust that fan art will be popping up